#you will always be the sex you were assigned at birth to me

[sapphsorrows]

trans is an inherently spiritual belief. you believe that somehow, in an unfalsifiable way, you were born the wrong gender. i don't have to believe that. i have freedom of religion, and therefore freedom from religion. i am an atheist. i don't believe in god. i don't believe in weird spiritual gender woo. expecting me to refer to your spiritual gender instead of your biological sex is like expecting me to pray to your god and getting mad when i don't. sorry not sorry <3 i only care about material reality.

[genderkoolaid]

Tranny. Many people don’t know the history of the word, they assume it was an assigned hate term or slur along the lines of the “n” word. That’s not how it happened. Tranny was invented by us in Sydney, Australia in the 1970s where drag was a big deal, and still the best drag shows ever are in Sydney, Australia – they’re amazing. So a lot of trans-identified women who were assigned male at birth did drag, that’s how you made your living. And so they were transsexuals, transvestites, drag queens, and they were all doing drag to make money. They all bickered amongst each other who is better than who, “Well the drag queens are better,” “No, the transsexuals are better.” “You are all freaks, we’re better.” And on and on and on. But they worked together and they were family together, so they came up with a word that would say family and that was tranny. In Australia they do the diminutive, that’s how they come up with words. So tranny. I learned the word in the mid-1980s, late 1980s from my drag mom in San Francisco, Doris Fish, who was the city’s preeminent drag queen and she’d come from Sydney. And she schooled me in this word tranny, she said, “This way it means we’re family, darling.” “Thank you mama.” [...] So we used it and we were trannies together. And F to M was just beginning to start, the trans men were just beginning to become visible, Lou Sullivan was a neighbor of mine around the corner, and he was the first big out trans man, wrote his book. So trans men and cross dressers . . . cross dressers were also family. Transsexuals, we were all trannies and that felt good. That got into the sex industry and became a genre – there was tranny porn, there were tranny sex workers – chicks with dicks, she-males. [...] And, my only guess is that people who . . . because the only way they would have found out about the word is if they were watching tranny porn or having been with a tranny sex worker and then hated themselves so much that they turned it into a curse word. So it’s not really technically correct to say we’re reclaiming a word – it was always ours. So, many people mistake the word for the hatred behind the word and, in my generation, and I’m sure in future generations of trans people, tranny is going to be a radicalized, sexualized identity of trans in the same way that faggot is a prideful identity in the gay male community – not all gay men are faggots, but those who are are proudly fags and those who are dykes are proudly dykes within the lesbian community, trannies are proudly tranny within the transgender community. Does that mean we can’t call ourselves that because some trans woman does not want to be called a tranny? No. I’m going to keep calling myself a tranny. To the trans woman who gets called tranny, I’m sorry – as soon as . . . you’ve got to look at why you’re getting called tranny and if you don’t pass, you’re going to be read as a transgender person and then you fall back on the cultural view of trans folk which is freak, disgusting, not worth living, we can hurt you. It has nothing to do with the word, it has everything to do with the cultural attitude. So the word has stirred up a shit storm, but it’s not the word.

— Kate Bornstein on the word "tranny" in this oral history from the Digital Transgender Archive

[starillusion13]

FOREIGN SWAGGERS

Pairing: Johnny x Jaehyun x Mark x f!reader (ft.Taeyong)

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Enemies to friends to lovers(?) BROTHER’s BEST FRIENDS Au

W/c: 8k

Warnings: mention of drinking, use of sex toys, birth control pills, sex w/o a wrap(don't do it sillies), they all are just horny for each other, four-some, dom!Johnny, dom!Jaehyun, dom!Mark, sub!fem, finger sucking, cum eating, nipple play, hickeys, manhandling, fingering, kissing, crying, afraid of left alone, overstimulation, masturbation, aftercare, comfort, lots of love (let me know what to add more)

Request from: @tazziexbunn (sorry I made you wait for it so long)

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated . Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!

Special mention of @acescavern thanks for helping when I was stuck due to writer's block. A true friend indeed.

MINORS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT UNDER THE POST!

Family holidays are meant to be having great bonding times and sharing some good moments with your loved ones. The feelings between the individuals deepens and these become the treasured memories in future. But what exactly are the feelings here? The feelings can be between friends, the couples, children and elders, siblings, colleagues, and so on. Sometimes, you meet some new faces and bond with them if the minds click with each other. But also sometimes, some known faces who seemed to be distant as you tried to ignore them appears.

It's okay until you have some distraction. But what if they are the distraction?

 And something like that happened when you were planning holidays with your family. It was a summer break and usually you all plan for a trip to some places where you all are having in mind altogether but this time, your brother’s three friends tagged along.

They are your brother’s childhood friends and you almost have seen them often like the times they stayed back at your house for sleepovers, gaming nights, school projects and assignments. You never tried to be friends with them because it was pretty much obvious that they always tried to ignore you. They hate you.

There is nothing to complain about them hating on you as the feelings is mutual. You haven’t ever appreciated their presence around you. What’s with them always popping out of nowhere in your house. They are your brother’s friends but it’s not like you are even their enemy. They are typically non-existent to you. As if you can’t see them but deep down you are cursing regularly whenever you bump into one of them. They are all so attractive that sometimes you steal glances of them. Of course, oblivion to them.

Well, you all grew up hating each other. Obviously.

The family holidays are always the exciting ones to you and the first one to initiate the plannings for the trip has always been you.

And that time, it was the same with you running down the stairs with your laptop in hand and your brother scolding behind you to be careful because if the laptop breaks, he has to buy you again but it doesn’t matter if you fall down.

What a caring brother!

“Mom…Dad…we are going to this place and that’s final. I have asked you so many times. Please.” You were literally whining while placing your laptop on the center table and crouching down beside it.

Your brother’s laugh echoed the place and you groaned before glaring at him.

“They won’t be agreeing with you. I bet.” He leaned back into the sofa across from you and put his hands behind his head. He poked out his tongue at you like a child.

You swear he has not yet grown up after five.

“It’s more like you don’t agree. You should support me but instead you just have to be the mamas boy in front of mom. You are a loser. Well always looks like one.” You spat at him.

“Yah! Shut up. Have you seen the ladies in my workplace drooling over me. My handsome face and everything I do just makes them delusional. Loser is you, not me.” You wanted to punch off that smug off from his face.

“Yeah sure…that’s why your girlfriend dumped you last week”

“Shut up!”

Both of your glares got smacked away by your mother.

“Why don’t you guys try to behave like your age?” your mother shook her head in disappointment.

“Taeyong has started it. I was just excited for the trip but he has to ruin my mood.” You sulked.

“No mom. I just said the truth and she got mad at me. This angry bird is annoying.”

“What did you just tell me?”

 Your mother again smacked both of you and then you were totally shut. She was not scolding you enough and that only meant she was in a good mood and was about to deliver some good news.

you waited to hear whatever she was going to say.

She started off with an old story of school days and you were invested into it. Your laptop was long forgotten and your whole attention was on your mom.

It went with jumping off from one topic to another and finally the most awaited speech of the day from her was delivered. She was very happy in the end of the explanation and you were still contemplating the situation and your brother was already on his feet excitedly.

“No way. You are leaving me and Taeyong to go for vacations alone.” You were in disbelief.

He scoffed, “You are telling it the way as if you dont want to go and I’m going to sell you off.”

“Who knows maybe you can?” You stared back at him.

“That’s true though. Atleast you will be of some use by then.”

Your mother smacked his arm, “Oh you two shut it now and listen to me. As me and your dad are going back to our home-town so you are free to go anywhere as you are grown up adults. But the behaviours don’t really prove it but still you don’t get such opportunities often.”

Taeyong was quick to ask, “Can I go to this vacation with my friends?”

Your mother nodded.

You gulped and hesitantly asked, “That means I can go to L.A.?”

“of course. But on one note, no one should go alone. Wherever you are going, you should go together or you are not allowed. He is going with his friends so Y/n, go with them.” Your mother smiled.

You sighed, “no thanks. I would rather stay at home than going with his friends.”

“Y/n dear…I cant leave you all alone and he can take care of you.”

You stood up and ran to your room. You were annoyed. But with whom? With yourself. It’s not like you didn’t like to go with your brother. You both love each other a lot but his friends are the only problems.

You heard someone knocking at your door but you didn’t reply and then when you heard the creak of the door.

Taeyong placed the laptop on your desk and sat beside you. You looked away and scooted away from him.

“I will not go with my friends. Let’s go together.” He sounded sad.

You shook your head and looked back at him, “no it’s okay. I don’t want to ruin your plans.”

 “hey its not like that…if you are uncomfortable with them then we can go alone. Really.” He assured you and you smiled back.

“I’m not uncomfortable or such. I am never been close with them. It’s because I feel like they hate me and they don’t like me around. It will just make me look like an outcast among us.” You pout.

He laughed and ruffled your hairs, earning a groan and hit to his arm.

“they never hate you. More like they always told me I’m lucky that I have a pretty and sweet sister like you. They never talked to you or approached as a friend because of your over protective brother. I didn’t trust those horny teenagers around you.”

You both laughed and somewhere you felt as if you just had contemplated their behaviours in a wrong way. So like them bumping into you was not to annoy you but they wanted to talk to you but your brother was being a barrier back then. is that right? Well, you also never really tried to become friends with them. So there was a lack in efforts from both the sides. What about now?

“Are we and your friends going to L.A.?” you asked.

He nodded and added, “if only you are comfortable.”

“It’s okay as far as they will appreciate me to consider a friend.”

“They will.”

.

.

.

It’s been thirty minutes that you were waiting for your frien—oh wait your brother’s friends.

The loud shout from your brother signalled you that his friends had arrived and so you looked up from your phone and craned your neck to watch where your brother ran to.

His excitement is always on another level when it comes to his friends. He really has some true friends unlike you.

They hugged with each other and then walked to where you were waiting. As soon as they were in front of you, you stood up and greeted them with a little smile on your face. They were hesitant at first but Johnny took the lead to extend his hand to shake hands with you. Wow, it’s the first time in the lifetime, you are standing so near to him and them.

“Hey Y/n…you grew up into a beautiful lady…I haven’t seen you in years after you all moved from the hometown.” Johnny stated with a genuine smile on his face.

Him initiating the conversation was a relief or you would have stuttered or never been able to form any words.

“yeah...it’s really been years. You look…good, Johnny.”

He smiled and nodded to your words.

Good? No, Fucking handsome. You wanted to scream it at his face because you have never seen him in such close up view and honestly your brother’s friends are freaking whole meal. You need to calm down and shut up because you don’t want to make it obvious to them and your brother. You sent him a smile.

Your brother and Johnny left for the check-ins, leaving you with Jaehyun and Mark. You gulped and looked around as you were in a very awkward situation. But you didn’t notice yet, Jaehyun’s gaze was boring holes into you and mark was looking between you and his friend.

“You look pretty...I mean really pretty…wow do I sound desperate? But it’s true.” Mark licked his lips and held your gaze when you looked at him.

A smile cracked on your face and you thanked him.

"you look cool as well."

He was eager to talk to you more and now you knew how friendly he was and it would be comfortable to be around him. When you looked at the other person in your group. He was already staring back at you. He was serious, with no emotions visible on his face and he sucked his cheeks inside.

You gulped in nervousness because the feelings of uneasiness rising up was making you suffocate even when the waiting area was so spacious and huge. You didn't know what was the reason for the uneasiness: him or the flight.

Your brother called you three from afar and you were the first one to almost run to your brother. The eyes of the other two behind you were following you. Mark laughed a bit and the corner of Jaehyun’s lip curled up.

Mark, Jaehyun and you got your seats together and on the other side Johnny, Taeyong and a random boy were having their seats. You told Taeyong to ask Johnny to switch seats with you but he told you that it would be better if you spend time with them and then you could be friends before reaching there.

You pouted and sulked in your seat. You sat in the middle one because mark had already claimed to not sit on the window seat and he hates middle one. Also, you were not a fan of window seats so you chose middle and it would be better because you will have mark’s company. Jaehyun was last to enter and he sat on his seat and closed his eyes.

Was he tired or ignoring you?

You didn’t mind his presence but getting interested in hearing Mark’s passion on rap and dancing. His eyes were shining when he was sharing about his likings and hobbies.

But as soon as you felt the wheels moving on the runway, the feeling of uneasiness returned from earlier. You turned to your front and closed your eyes tightly. Your one hand gripping Mark’s sleeves of his full sleeve t-shirt. And the other hand clutching the armrest. Nails digging deeper. You were feeling nauseous and then something unexpected happened.

“Take deep breaths. You will be fine.” You heard whisper from the side of window seat. A hand entangled with yours and clutching it in a soothing way. Thumbs rubbing your skin to calm down. Another hand patted your other hand which was clutching the sleeves.

Slowly, you parted your eyelids to see Jaehyun leaning towards you in worry and his hands were entangled with yours and Mark was patting your other hand with same worry visible on your face.

And what about your brother? He was busy joking with Johnny. But you didn’t know, he was having the same worry and was in panic, Mark assured him that he would handle it.

he will take care of you.

You breathed through your mouth and gulped. Mark patted your head before he went back to whatever he was doing on his phone.

You looked over to Jaehyun and again he was emotionless. “Thank you.”

As you tried to pull away your hand, he held it tighter. Your gaze fell on his veiny hands, veins visible in those smooth buttery skin. His skin was better than yours. Your eyes were trailing upward slowly and slowly and stopped on his lips, they were so pinkish and kissable. WTF! No no not kissable. You met his eyes.

“You can sleep if you feel sick. I won’t mind but don’t even dare to puke on me.”

“I don’t puke…” you pout.

He scoffed and looked away towards the window and it was night but still he had a sunglass over his head. It was adding to his attractiveness.

He patted his shoulder and you frowned.

“What?”

“Sleep…you are annoying.”

You scoffed. Perfect best-friend of your brother. If he was already mad without doing anything then you would rather sleep and be an annoying burden on his shoulder.

.

.

.

Earlier Mark squeezed your cheeks hard and woke you up from peaceful sleep and so you were mad because Taeyong does the same to annoy you when he wakes you up.

Why all his friends are similar to him?

You were still in sleepy mood and were walking towards the hotel room in a daze.

You got a separate room from them. You were so happy that this time you don’t have to share a room with your brother again. Taeyong and Jaehyun were roommates and Johnny and Mark were in the room across from yours beside the other pair.

It was already afternoon when you reached the hotel so you didn’t have much plan for the day so you guys went off to some individual activities in exploring the place. Taeyong offered you to come along with him and Mark but you assured him that you won’t be wandering too far from the hotel.

As far as the first day, the trip was fine. You really had a great evening with making new friends at record shops. They had same music taste similar like yours. You exchanged your IG ids with those three girls and you were happy since that.

The next day it was totally a siblings day with you two exploring the famous places in L.A. You knew that was the only option to spend a day only with him or other days, he wont be leaving his friends behind. You really did argue, fight, clicking pictures and especially eat a lot. It ended with all five of you having your dinner at a fancy restaurant.

Everything was going well until the fourth day of the trip.

You all went to the beach in front of your hotel and you wore a beach dress. Of course, you would have worn a bikini but somehow Taeyong sternly told you to not wear all those in front of his friends or you were not going. You were mad but still you agreed and trailed behind them. Johnny was talking with you a lot since last night. He was often asking you if you were comfortable or feeling left out but you were quick to wave it off as nothing.

Thinking of last night, you remember how you both spent the night in the terrace of your floor in the hotel.

“Cant sleep?”

You got startled and looked behind to see Johnny in a white t-shirt and sweat pants walking towards you. You shook your head.

“It’s not like that. I am just not that tired.”

He chuckled, “it was such a long day and still you are not tired?”

“Yeah. I usually don’t sleep whenever I go for a vacation and I love to spend time with the new environment.”

He nodded and watched the waves hitting the shore and loud roars of the waters could be heard. It was a refreshing feeling after a long day. His fingers moved up to your face to tug your hairs behind the ears. You both smiled at each other.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

 It was an unexpected question but was quick to make you flustered.

“N-no. I don’t.”

“Good.”

“Huh?”

“It’s good that bad boys didn’t got their ways with you…”

“Y/n…Wont you go down into water with us?”

Mark’s voice barely audible due to the loud music. Still, you managed to answer and you shook your head telling him how you didn’t want to soak your pretty sundress. But that was not his intention. As you were looking around. He scooped you from behind and ran with you towards the others.

“Mark…please don’t…I said no..”

“Come on, don’t be a joy-kill.”

With that he threw you into the water but still holding your upper half so that you don’t get hurt for the jump being so sudden.

As soon as you stood up and removed the hairs from your face, you glared at mark jokingly and he laughed it off. His white shirt and shorts were already soaked. Taeyong and Johnny were shirtless with surfboard in their hands, showing off their tattoos. On other side Jaehyun was also shirtless and was recording in his hand-cam.

His cam fixed in your direction and he zoomed in. You stared back at the lens. He smiled at the portrait of yours visible on the screen. His thumb caressed your face. You smiled behind the camera and ‘click’.

Someone splashed water from your side and Johnny was laughing for what he did.

Jaehyun joined in too.

Johnny stifled his laugh and spoke up, “Girls vs Boys.”

“I am the only girl here. This is not fair.” You whined.

Taeyong volunteered to take your side and Johnny teased him, “Oh Y/n look, that man is your girl.”

Taeyong threw some water and tangled his arm around his neck and Jaehyun splashed water at you with Mark taking the both sides for maintaining equal members and that’s how it went on with you all laughing and enjoying with each other in your own world.

Maybe they are not bad as you thought.

.

.

.

Taeyong’s intolerance of alcohol was known by everyone except him. He always insisted that he can handle a lot amount but would definitely pass out after half of the bottle. It was pretty strong. The four friends were having night pool party in the rooftop and it was pretty late and Taeyong suddenly banged his head on the table.

Oh he is wasted. The strong boy is sleeping now.

Jaehyun called you three times to check on you and let you know that they were going down and as earlier Taeyong stated that you asked him to bring a cocktail from the party. So, instead of your brother, he took the responsibility.

Three missed calls and you didn’t pick up. They were sure that before going to sleep. You would let Taeyong know about it but now they were panicked.

Johnny rushed down. He didn’t wait for the elevators and run down the stairs and rest two were bringing Taeyong down to the room.

Where were you?

Johnny knocked on your door. He waited for a response but nothing was audible. Licking his lips, he was about to ring the bell when he heard a faint buzzing sound. He leaned to check his doubt. He was correct.

His hand hovered on the handle and he pushed open it. Again, you didn’t lock the door. But then he might not have got this opportunity.

he entered the room and took a turn.

Your mouth was agape and eyes closed with throaty moans and hands clutching the bedsheet with sprawled across on it. And a pink vibrator was attached to your black panty.

Shamelessly, he was watching you. His pant was getting tight in a particular place and he gulped. He was not even moving but standing still, watching you with hungry eyes. He waited for you to cum. By seeing your desperation, he was sure you were near the climax and he patiently waited in his place in silence. You moaned out Mark’s name when you came undone.

So, you were thinking about him?

He smirked at your exhausted state in just your lingerie. You were panting. If you had wore it at the beach then he could have seen you like this earlier. You look sexy in bikinis and he was getting impatient to tear off the piece of clothes and have you in every way.

The ring of his phone made your eyes shot open and you hurriedly sat up. He picked up the call with holding your gaze. You gulped to see his dark eyes.

Jaehyun was on the call. Johnny’s voice echoed inside the room.

"Come to Y/n's room." He didn't say anything more but chuckled after he cut the call.

Like a predator he walked around the bed and you were sitting in the middle, still fazed by the orgasm. He bent to your side and before you could realize it, he snatched away the remote from your hand.

"What are you doing here?" You asked in a broken voice. He raised his brows and titled his head, "did you say something?"

he had a dominance in his voice.

"You should not be here" you gulped and raised your voice a bit, "if my brother finds out."

"Oh listen darling, your brother won't know what is going to happen and even if your brother finds out, it will be too late."

You heard the door open and shut and sound of the lock. Jaehyun and Mark emerged from the corner of the room.

"Oh dude what are you doing here?" Mark was confused and looking between you and the tall man. "I see our little princess was having her little fun without us." Jaehyun smirked as he noticed the vibrator and the remote in his friend's grasp.

"Shut up. You three. What are you even doing here? Where is Taeyong?"

"He is knocked out halfway through." Mark chuckled.

Johnny paced to the edge of the bed and in front of you. He smirked while scanning your whole body. He has never seen you in such a way and he was amused that you were not even telling them to go out. "Oh Mark. You know, she was calling you earlier."

"Really but why?" Mark was smiling but he was curious.

"Darling, are you telling them or should I do the honor?" Johnny was crouching down in front of you, resting his hand on the edge of the bed and staring at you. "I—I don't know what you are saying."

Johnny chuckled, "oh don't say like you weren't moaning out his name." "What?" You were surprised to know that he heard you. For how long was he there?

"Oh really?...I want to see that." Mark was excited.

Before you could protest, the sound of vibrator earned a gasp from you. You watched how Johnny had a smug look and Jaehyun whispered something into his ear, widening his grin.

You watched in horror that they were exchanging glances and communicating between them. your head fell low and hands clutching the bedsheet tightly and you leaned forward.

The vibration was in low mode and you wanted more. no you needed more. You closed your eyes and focused on the sound and vibration filling you up. The tightening of the knot but still the feeling of emptiness was there because the speed was too low. You panted out. "More...fast please..."

“You are asking for more from your brother’s friends? Won’t you ask us to go?”

You were whining and your hand hovered over the vibrator to rub it against your folds and press it deeper.

Someone held you back. And you cry out. The vibration increased and you leaned backward, throwing your head back on the person's shoulder. The same whispering voice from the plane. "Is it okay now, princess? Don't you dare to do anything. We are here to take care of you."

Your hands were locked by him and his bare chest was against your hot body, earning groans from him. Every little squirm of yours was making him painfully hard. There was a reek of alcohol from them.

You were reaching to the climax and it was very obvious and the way Jaehyun's husky groans filling your ears. You swear you will come soon.

"Are you near?" You nodded.

Jaehyun chuckled into your ears and licked it, "words, princess." "Y—yes Jaehyun...Jo—hhny."

"It's daddy for you." Johnny said in a darker voice. Your back arched and you leaned back to Jaehyun as you were about to get loose but Johnny had some other plans.

You were whimpering, "why? Please daddy...I want to cum."

he turned the vibrator off.

"No. You had your fun earlier and now it's for us to have our turn."

He climbed the bed in front of you and hovered over you. You tried to scoot back and get away from the hold but they held you in place.

"Mark I guess someone is impatient."

Mark nodded on Johnny's statement and watched your watery eyes staring back at Johnny in a frustrated expression.

"I heard she was moaning my name and I really want to see how it's going to be when I literally will fuck her."

"Oh you will. But you can wait for your turn. Let me make my darling taste a bit of my fun." Johnny was using the nickname casually but it was turning you on.

He hooked a finger with your panty and slid it down very slowly. His movements were painfully slow and you couldn't even do anything to get rid of the little piece of clothing faster.

He let it hung at one of your ankles and pushed your legs apart, you were pressing them too tight.

He placed himself between them so that you couldn't close your legs and he dipped a finger inside of your wet folds. You moaned and raised your hips into his hand when he pressed your belly down. "Uh uh you are not getting like this...patience is the key here. Look you are so needy that you didn't attend the party because you were off into your little world."

Mark added, "if she had asked us then we would have had the fun together."

Watching how you were not catching on with the conversation, Johnny curled his finger, keeping the same pace from earlier. When he watched you squeezing his second finger in so easily. He pulled his hand out and pushed it inside your parted lips. "Suck."

You were not needed to say twice and you rolled your tongues around his fingers and licked your juices off.

"Princess is doing so good."

Jaehyun had a cheerful tone and then suddenly Johnny slapped your pussy to get your attention back on him before pulling down his pant. You were so impatient and didn't want him to take longer. Jaehyun unhooked your bra but still your front was covered. His hands caressed your bare back and you shivered to his touch.

Johnny's yellow shirt was unbuttoned and your now freed hands went up to touch the biceps. He chuckled and held your wrist to guide you through his muscles. You were so distracted when he suddenly entered you. You cried out because of the size and stretch and the pain was unbearable. Johnny had a satisfied look on his face but soon changed into a worry when he saw your wrinkled forehead and you were wiggling on Jaehyun’s lap.

Your eyes rolled back when he started moving. The pace began with slow and deep movements and each move burned the connected soft area. Johnny was groaning above you and his fingers were tightly entangled with yours, pressing down your palms into the mattress. His loose shirt rode up and the flexing muscles were visible.

“Fuck Y/n…I didn’t know that sweet little one…has such a good pussy.” Johnny increased his pace and your moans became louder.

Your sweet moans earned a shaky groan from a corner of the room. You looked over to the place to see Mark was pumping himself with his head thrown back and cursing and moaning out your name. He was imagining the image of how it was you when moaning out his name when you were pleasuring yourself.

Jaehyun chuckled, “Oh Johnny, she likes to get fuck by her brother’s best friends.”

“Is that right, Y/n?” Johnny asked you but your foggy mind didn’t register the question. So, he gripped your jaw and forced to make you look at him. Your teary eyes stared back at him when he slowed the movements.

“I asked you something, darling. Do you like getting fucked by your brother’s best friends?”

You clenched around him on hearing his question.

“Yes…yes daddy…I like to be fucked by you…I—I want to be fucked by you all.” You whined when he pushed deeper but continued in sloppy movements.

His smirk widened and head dipped in the crook of your neck. He sucked and kissed all your sensitive spots. He pulled down the bra and sucked your nipples. He was leaving red marks all over your chest and throat. Your nipples were erect and hard and when he was sucking it hard, you were losing your mind. “Fuck…it’s so good.”

“Is it feeling good? Johnny making you feel good?”

You moaned out, “Yes Jaehyun, he is making me feel good. I—I want to cum please…please…”

The fast thrusts were almost ripping you apart into two and his moans and groans into your ear was nearing you so much that your tears were streaming down. The sloppy sound and your moans filling out the room. But Johnny hushed you with a heated kiss. He was hungry. Teeth clashing to each and biting down your lips, making you gasp and clench around him. He was hungry to finally have his best friend’s sister under him. The sister his friend protected too much from them was now whimpering under and that boosted his ego.

“Cum…ah-Fuck…” You both came undone together.

Mark cursed out at the same time with both of you.

You were floating with blurry vision and he rode out his high. He pulled out and chuckled at your fucked out state. Before any juice could leak out of you, he pressed your legs together. He started at you but you cut him off.

“I am on birth control pill.” You stated.

“Why? Were you expecting something like this to happen?” Johnny chuckled and stood up.

“No. but just in case…” Johnny pecked your lips. You were surprised as to why he did it but you let the kiss linger on you longer.

Mark interjected, “So you were planning to have a one-night stand on this trip somewhere?”

You licked your lips and nodded, “yeah something like that.” You closed your eyes to take deep breaths. Johnny excused himself after putting on the pant and went to his room.

You heard shuffles around your bed and before you knew what was happening, Jaehyun was smiling down at you from between your legs. You tried to scoot back but he pressed you down with a smirk and dark look on his face.

He was serious with dark eyes just contrast to the white unbuttoned shirt on him. He looks good in white and later you have to compliment him about that.

“What are you thinking, princess?” he asked you while positioning himself to your entrance.

“you look good in white.” you finally complimented him.

He smiled, “thanks princess. But I would look better with your white cum around my dick.”

His tip toying with your folds. You whined and Mark laughed when he sat beside you. He removed your bra and threw it away. Jaehyun thanked Mark and started pumping your breasts. You gasped and moaned. Mark was staring at you with hooded eyes. Jaehyun flicked your nipples and pinched them.

It was paining but it was sending a pleasurable jolt throughout your body.

 He straightened himself and placed his palm over your breasts and pushed himself inside you. You gasped out loudly and he chuckled on feeling how you were still tight and clenching around him after his friend fucked you so hard earlier.

“you are taking me so well, princess.”

His pace was deeper and faster from the start and your sensitive bud was throbbing in pain. Skin slapping sound and his skill-full fingers drawing pattern over your curves and hands sliding smoothly all over your body. Your whines and his moans getting louder with each passing second and he leaned down to peck you. You opened your eyes and wiggled your hands from, under the grip of Mark’s strong hold. Your weak hands slid down Jaehyun’s soft skin and you smiled.

“Jaehyun…”

Why are you even smiling? He took a hold of your wrist and placed a kiss on your fingers.

“You are really pretty, Y/n…you were always pretty.”

He finally connected his lips with yours and you moaned into his mouth when he hit a right spot, making you arch into his body. Your hips moving up and down to get him more-close to you. As if it was even possible. He pressed you down and there was a sweet rhythm to the movement of his lips and hips.

You were lost in the kiss and gasping for air but he was sucking you so hard that the little air left inside you would be sucked out. He finally pulled apart and thrusted deeper. When you let out a broken moan, his hands moved up to grip your throat and with a moderate pressure, he pressed it tight.

“The innocent little sister of Taeyong is whining with my fingers wrapped around her throat and getting fucked. What will your brother think of you getting fucked by his best-friend?”

You couldn’t reply but mumbled something. Mark laughed and patted your head.

You whined and gasped. Your one hand gripped his wrist and other wiggling under his strong hold on your wrist. His mouth skillfully working on your nipples, leaving bruise marks around it. It was too much. You were overstimulated by all these pleasures in different parts. The pace became sloppy and both of you were near the edge.

“if you want to cum then cum. Cum on my dick and paint me white.” He said and put a little more pressure on the side of your throat. His voice vibrating on your nipples and his hot breath hitting around the sensitive area.

You gasped and let it loose as soon as his words fell from the lips. He thrusted faster and you whined. After a few more thrusts, he bottomed down into you. “fuck-“

 His hands were at the same place but weakly holding you, his head resting on your breast and he placed a soft and long kiss on your nipple before retreating himself.

Vulnerable was not a word for you. You were broken. Your body, your pulping veins, your sensitive used spots and your mind. Your broken voice couldn’t even dare to speak up anything more.

Mark.

You didn’t know what were the thoughts running through his mind. His two other friends were just monster fuckers. Thinking about him fucking you after they caught you moaning out his name was scratching a mark direct to your core.

You expected Jaehyun to leave but he propped himself on the sofa and leaned back with closed eyes and heaved a sigh.

Was he regretting?

Your attention was brought to Mark when he gripped your jaw and pulled your face to the side to face him. He was smirking unlike before when he was sweetly smiling at you. His jeans was long forgotten lying down on the floor and he pulled down the boxer. Your burning body was sensitive to a little amount of air caused by the swish of movements around you.

He was still sitting to your side, hand gripping your jaw. Your weak hands held his wrist dearly.

“mark…please fuck me.”

He poked his cheek with the tongue, “why? Didn’t Jaehyun gave you the satisfaction and also Johnny?”

As if on cut Johnny entered the room in a fresh set of trouser and a plain white t-shirt. He propped himself beside Jaehyun.

“What’s with my name?” Johnny’s voice made you squirm.

“I want you…no I need you, Mark. Please.” You literally begged. His smirk widened.

He suddenly hovered on top of you and you were surprised by his sudden fast movement. He was excited. Something in him shifted when you begged to him. He was no more that soft and excited friend like last four days. In front of you was a hungry monster who was ready to devour you.

His hands trailed down your curves. He pushed your legs up and watched how your hole was leaking down the juices and he groaned to the sight. He pushed up your swelled breasts and pumping them, earning whines and moans from you. Your tears were the most beautiful thing to him at the moment.

His hands trailed higher and rested on your jaw, fingers caressing your cheek. Your tired eyes still locked with his hooded ones.

“you will show me how you were moaning my name with this pretty mouth. Okay?”

You nodded. He slapped you and gripped your jaw.

“Okay?”

“Yes…Mark…I will show you...please…”

No prep was needed and so he pushed your legs apart as far as possible. He slowly entered you and your gasp got lost into his mouth when he pressed down his lips to you. Just like others, his kiss was also reeking of alcohol. You were getting drunk just by their kisses.

His kiss was between of hunger and making love. Once he was being a sweet kisser and the next moment, he was eating you out. His teeth sucking yours making it a plump.

His movements were slow. Too slow. You wanted more but the way he slapped your pussy when you moved up, you knew he was not giving you what you wanted.

He broke the kiss but his lips never left your heated skin, his lips pressing soft kisses on yours and trailed down to your jaw and then to the crook of your neck.

“Mark…”

“So that’s how you sound like baby…fuck…you are sucking me in so good...you sound so sexy...”

“More please…please Mark.”

You were crying and repeating his name like a chant. It was making him painfully hard to control himself not to cum again and again into you. His one hand pumping your breast and other caressing your head. He leaned to attach his lips to your left out nipple.

Every second was like a rising of burning flame. Your body was on fire. He was overstimulating you to hear his name from your lips on repeat. He didn’t want to end the moment so fast. He could hear your moans all day long if its need to fuck you everytime. His one hand dipped down to rub on your bud and you cry out before Johnny inserted a finger into your mouth. You quickly wrapped around his fingers to suck for your dear life.

“don’t want to let this whole floor know that how good your brother’s best friends are fucking you, right?” he asked you mockingly.

Mark added, “Taeyong might can wake up too.”

They laughed to see you in mercy of their friend and tears falling continuously from the eyes.

“Ah fuck- baby…fuck…are you near?”

You couldn’t reply when the finger was deep down your throat.

Mark swatted the hand away and gripped your jaw.

“Do you want to cum?”

Your vision was blurry but still you nodded and replied, “yes…yes Mark…please”

“then cum and say my name.”

You did as he told you. Your vision was white and your whole body jerked.

He was thrusting deeper and faster and soon he was panting on top of yours and hot liquid filling you up.

The same euphoric feeling rising up to your fuzzy mind.

Mark laid down beside you. You both were tired but no one was as compared to you.

“I guess someone is tired for the first time while on a vacation.” Johnny smiled at you before patting your head.

You dreamily smiled and nodded.

He asked Jaehyun to go back to his shared room with Taeyong or he might could get in trouble if Taeyong sees him missing in the room. He sent a smile towards you before laving with Johhny. It was only you and Mark.

“I will take care of you. I have promised, Taeyong.”

he promised Taeyong.

He let you sleep and as promised, he cleaned you up before cleaning himself. He tugged you to sleep. Before leaving the room, he watched you for a while how you were sleeping peacefully and something inside him was tugging not to leave you alone. But there was no choice. He turned off the lights and left the room with interlocking it.

He is just your brother’s best-friend.

.

.

.

The next morning when your mind registered that you were awake, you didn’t open your eyes. The first thought came to your mind was that you were all alone. They all just left you after fucking. You clutched the blankets tight, you cried silently. Was it just all about one night? Nothing more? Today you have to pretend as if nothing happened last night. Silent tears fall from your eyes.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” Taeyong’s worried voice and a warm hand on your cheek reminded you of their lingering touches on your skin.

You didn’t want to open your eyes. Even if you wanted to think of that as a dream but the soreness and the paining aches all over your body would be giving you reality check. Still. You didn’t want to worry your brother so you slowly looked at him and he was sitting by the side of your head, smiling a little.

“when I woke up, Jaehyun told me that you are feeling sick since last night and I was drunk so he took care of you.” He innocently said.

Took care of you.

Huh! And then left…

You nodded.

“You are crying…is your headache worse…do you need medicines?”

“headache?”

“yeah…he told me not to disturb you today. It’s better to let you rest for a while.”

Yeah. Headache. Rest for a while.

The words were not setting in right places.

He stood up, “I have to meet an university friend today who works at a company here so we are going to hang out today. So take some rest. Just call me if you need anything or I will tell one of them-“

“No I will call you.”

“Okay, see you later.”

And he turned to the space to get out of your room from where they all went last night. You didn’t hear your door closed but heard some talking between your brother and Johnny. His voice tugged at your heart. You were sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard. You looked down to yourself wearing a t-shirt and shorts. A tear fell on your hand.

Why were you even crying?

It was all about you four being horny last night. Nothing more.

The close of door shut jolted you. You still didn’t look up but closed your eyes to let yourself understand that you shouldn’t be so sensitive of having sex with them.

“y/n…”

Did you hear right?

No no you were dreaming.

“y/n…are you okay?”

You looked up to see Mark looking at you with hurtful eyes. Is he regretting for the last night?

You didn’t reply. Two more figures emerged from the corner, what were they doing at door for so long.

“why are you here?” you whispered out the words.

“Isn't this the same thing you asked last night?” johnny stated.

You watched his movements when he came beside you and sat down to pat your head and comb your hairs with his long fingers. You fought back the urge to lean to his touch. Jaehyun sat to your other side and caressed your cheeks.

More tears streamed down your eyes.

Jaehyun wiped them off. “Why are you crying?”

“Don’t give me false hopes. I know you all are regretting for the last night and so you left or maybe you see it like a regular fun but please I…I don’t know how to feel now.”

“then don’t fight back.” Johnny said without any emotion visible.

Mark added, “y/n…it’s a very complicated situation we are in…we are your brother’s best friends and you are his sister. If somehow this last night becomes a problem between us then the friendship will be hampered. You are our friend too.”

Mark scooted closer to you.

“you all were the first ones to have sex with me…”

They didn’t reply but suddenly Mark pulled you in his embrace. You could feel a different set of hands caressing your back. You started crying in his hold. He patted your head.

“I know... you know we were never your friends but still we admired you since you were a baby. We have watched you every time how you whined for little things, your giggles, your sweet smile, your annoyed face whenever we showed up at your house and when your brother teasing you. Our eyes were always on you.” Mark words were dipped in softness.

You whispered, “I thought you all hated me.”

Johnny laughed, “never. It was your brother who never wanted us to be near you. He thought that his little sister should not be near us. He is good brother. He loves you a lot.”

He really is.

“I don’t want to leave you all after yesterday. I know I’m being selfish but I really don’t know why I'm feeling this but I cant handle if you all leave me.” You said and turned to rest two of them from Mark’s embrace, Jaehyun’s hands fall from your back.

Jaehyun added, “we don’t want to leave you too. Yesterday when I saw you in that state, I felt a possessiveness inside me that no one should get to look at you and I own you. So…..”

He looked at everyone and sighed.

“so?..” your soft voice tugged at their heart.

Johnny completed his sentence, “so we need to have a talk with Taeyong.”

“You all will?” you were surprised.

Mark turned you around, “don’t you want us? Or do you want only me?”

“All three of you. Call me selfish but I love you all.”

“We love you too, y/n. promise. we will take care of you.” Johnny said and placed a kiss on top of your head.

“she is still a baby.” Jaehyun said and laughed loudly.

The others also joined in. You clutched to Mark’s shirt and smiled a little before snuggling into the smell of his cologne.

Your brother kept you away from them. But then you became too close to them. Closer than being just friends. The foreign swaggers is your new memory of your holidays. It was meant to be a family holiday like every year. but this was different and the best.

Also, you don’t hate your brother’s best friends like you thought.

They are no more just your brother’s best friends. They are your hearts: the foreign swaggers.

Are you going to regret it?

thank me coz i was going to end it on a sad note but then I thought to make it a bit emotional and happy in the last moement.

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @sexygrass @minkyuncutie @loveforred

[snowsonlylove]

hii!! i commented about making a fic of coryo w or about the song haunted by beyonce, i was thinking maybe something smut if ur comfortable! if not its okay but the fic could be academy!coriolanus x academy!reader and theyre school rivals both working hard to beat each other and theyre obsessed with each other but they hide it with the fact they wanna win but they j wanna fuck (or get together) maybe theyre both possessive and jealous or coryo is the one thats really extra with it,, the story could go rlly slow too and then theres just a part where the facade and tension goes away and theyre needing each other so badly at that moment rushing everything, just like how the song goes idk if i made any sense :o im so excited to see the result!! this song just gives me coriolanus vibes

You Must Be Haunting Me..

a/n note: hii!! yes, i loved your idea and i mostly stayed with your vision, only changing some minor things so the situation makes sense and dw i managed to deliver 🫡 hopefully you like it!! tysm for your idea and i look forward to seeing if there are some things you want to expand on (maybe with little blurbs on this dynamic bc i absolutely LOVE this trope!) & i'm totally comfortable with smut so dw about sending me kinky asks or requests. i totally accept them!!

Pairing: Academy!Coriolanus Snow x AcademyRival!Reader

Summary: Y/N Y/L/N and Coriolanus Snow have been academic rivals ever since the beginning of their journey in the Academy. It’s no secret that both Y/N and Coriolanus are the two top students of the Academy, both of them only being able to beat each other, the rest are just no competition for them. However, they genuinely have no idea why they're doing this constant battle against each other. Little did they know, both of them always think about each other behind closed doors and are obsessed with each other, each equally impressed at the other at how intelligent they are. One day, things just boil over with how Coriolanus constantly riles Y/N up and they explode in a huge fight which results in a turmoil of deep, rough and passionate sex. 

Fic Type: Smut (NSFW) 18+, Enemies to Lovers trope, dramatic behaviour from both of them, a wee bit of angst (mostly derived from the name-calling but in my head this is more funny than it is angsty 😭😭😭)

Warnings: unprotected sex (don’t do this guys, use a condom. reader is on birth control), rough pushing, harsh words used from both Y/N and Coriolanus, degradation (use of whore), cunnilingus (female receiving), squirting, lmk if i missed anything else

Word Count: 2k

I do not own Coriolanus Snow or Y/N Y/L/N (cuz it’s you, boo). All credits go to Suzanne Collins and her team. Song credits also go to Beyonce and her team. 

I do not allow my works to be republished or translated under any circumstances. Any instances of this happening and YOU WILL BE BLOCKEDDD. 

Also, ageless and empty blogs will be BLOCKED as this is a 18+ fic. Report my fics and you’re blocked cuz if u don’t like it, LEAVEEEE.

Y/N Y/L/N and Coriolanus Snow began this disastrous journey from the age of 11-12. Both students entered the Academy with an air of poise and elitism about them as they knew what it took to defeat the competition in the Academy, most students not even being a possible candidate to them. It was all fine and well, until one year, Y/N and Coriolanus were put in the same class for the year, and the rivalry then started..

The first assignment of that year was an individual project on what each student thought the Capitol looked like during its earliest times. Each student was tasked with coming up with a drawing with their thoughts on said topic. This was their chance to go up against each other. Both Y/N and Coriolanus would stay up in the library after school and collect piles of books and do their research and by the time the task was due, Y/N and Coriolanus obviously submitted the best sketches.

After acknowledging this, the professor asked the class to vote for who’s sketch was the best. Small pieces of paper were given out to write either Y/N’s and Coriolanus’s names and as the professor then collected the papers, making both students anxious. As the professor counted the votes, Y/N’s heart was beating out of her chest, Coriolanus’s as well. It was then announced that Y/N won, which made Coriolanus furious as he spewed a full speech on how much he hated her. “You’d never be as good as what they say you are. You’re just dirt under my feet. God! You’re such a bitch!” He screamed as the professor and the class started at him in astonishment as they’ve never seen him lash out before.

Y/N was heartbroken when she heard this as sometimes when Coriolanus wasn’t looking, Y/N would sneak glances towards him and she started to be enamoured by him. Their time together after hours in the library would usually end up in them having conversations about their day and this time together helped them bond better. With this in mind, Y/N truly thought Coriolanus was at least civil enough to be respectful towards her. Y/N felt tears well up in her eyes as she ran out of the classroom, the professor telling her to wait.

Coriolanus, still blind with rage, kept on screaming and yelling obscenities about Y/N as he stormed off to his seat, his face red and his whole demeanour fueling with rage. Unfortunately, this fateful day was what started the vicious rivalry between Y/N and Coriolanus as the two would fight over who got the better grades, which teacher favoured which student more, the differences in their scores in each assignment every single day.

As of current, both Y/N and Coriolanus are 18 and in the midst of graduating. One of their last assignments was unfortunately a pair assignment. Dr Gaul once scoped out the Academy and witnessed one of the fights between Y/N and Coriolanus and she noticed how by getting them near each other, she could make them into the power couple of Panem and have them continue the Hunger Games, which inspired her to whisper in the ear of Dean Highbottom to get them to be in the same class and for them to share a table together until they graduated. Both Y/N and Coriolanus were very unhappy about this, both choosing to ignore each other while they were in their seats. 

With both of them getting older, both Y/N and Coriolanus started noticing certain things about them. Coriolanus noticed how Y/N’s facial features were more prominent, how her ass got bigger, her breasts more plump, making him unable to control a certain urge at times which led him to mastrubate thinking about her sometimes. Y/N also noticed a few things about Coriolanus. How he started to grow muscles, how they cling to his academy uniform whenever he took off his academy jacket, how his jaw was sharper, how his nose was becoming more emphasised, how he lost his baby fat. She can honestly go forever and forever about how attractive he is.

That being said, there was one particular day where everything just blew over the water. Y/N and Coriolanus were taking notes during Dean Highbottom’s lecture when Y/N felt Coriolanus’s elbow dig into her arms whenever they got to writing. This obviously made Y/N frustrated as she harshly whispered to Coriolanus to stop a few times, which led to a hushed debate between the two before it grew louder and louder until they were screaming at each other, making the whole class look at them and Dean Highbottom staring at them in shock before yelling for them to stop and stay after class for detention.

Both Y/N and Coriolanus felt embarrassed as they were lectured by Dean Highbottom after class before an assistant of Dean Highbottom requested him to join Dr Gaul for a meeting about the Hunger Games. Dean Highbottom sighed as he looked at the two young teenagers, “Look.. I feel that you two are now old enough to know what is acceptable behaviour in class. I’ll be back soon, do not kill each other while I’m gone.” As Highbottom left the classroom, the tense atmosphere began to build as the door closed behind him.

Almost immediately after he left, Y/N and Coriolanus stared at each other with the most hateful expression ever. Y/N menacingly glared at him while saying with gritted teeth, “See, Coriolanus! If you’re long ass elbow didn’t fucking dig in my arm every single time, that old fart wouldn’t lecture us for one fucking hour! My god, you’re truly dumb!” Coriolanus glared at her before stating, “It’s not my fucking fault that happened with you were taking over the whole goddamn table with your arms everywhere! Geez, Y/N! I thought you’d be more modest!”

Y/N looked at him, shocked, “ME?!! You’re blaming ME for something YOU did! That is so fucking misogynistic coming from you, a man! I swear to god, this is discrimination towards women at its core! Grow the fuck up, Coriolanus! We’re not children anymore! God! I’d be spending my time with Sejanus right now if it weren’t for your stubborn ass!” Y/N huffed while rolling her eyes. Coriolanus stared at her, his face full of jealousy before gritting out, “Sejanus? What the fuck are you doing with Sejanus?! You’re such a fucking whore! Ugh, you’re such a bitch!” Y/N looked at him, offended, “Bitch, weren’t you just fucking Clemensia a few weeks ago? Yeah, I heard about that! Everyone was practically talking about it! Don’t pretend to be so innocent, Coriolanus!”

Coriolanus looked at her, his expression turned dark as he stalked towards her, her taking a step back until her back had hit the wall. Coriolanus leaned towards her, lifting one of his arms to go above her, bringing the other hand towards her chin and lifting it. At this point, the height difference became very apparent as her head was tipped far back, her still glaring at him. “Are you baiting me, Y/N? You talk so much for someone who just fucked Felix Ravinstill of all people a few days ago..” Y/N continued to glare up at him, “At least I had the decency to keep it in my pants longer than you! God, I hate you!” Coriolanus looked taken aback as he muttered while leaning in to cup her cheeks, her face wiggling to be let out of his grip, “Well, I hate you too, sweetheart…” 

Coriolanus leaned in as he captured Y/N’s lips with his, their mouths fighting for dominance as they kissed each other as if they needed each other to breathe. The previous tension broke into a more sensual type of tension as Coriolanus wrapped his hands around her hair ravenously while Y/N’s hand made friends with the back of his neck. One of Coriolanus’s hands found its way to Y/N’s waist as he dragged her away from the wall, pushing her towards a nearby desk before propping her up on the desk and spreading her legs, allowing him to be closer to her, not once breaking their kiss. Y/N broke their kiss as she moved her lips to Coriolanus’s neck and trailed them down his Adam’s apple while taking off his blazer and unbuttoning his shirt, Coriolanus doing the same to her.

As they undressed each other, they continued to slide their tongues against each other, the sound echoing around the classroom. They managed to undress each other down to them both only wearing underwear before Coriolanus kneeled down so that he was face to face with the apex of her thighs. Coriolanus leaned in and captured his teeth to her underwear as he slowly pulled it down, revealing her aching, dripping pussy. Coriolanus licked his lips as he roughly shoved two fingers in her cavern as he curled his fingers in and out her folds, creating a beautiful sensation as he found her G-spot with no difficulty.

Y/N moaned as she threw her head back and slid her hands down to Coriolanus’s hair and tugged on it while pulling him closer to her heat. “Oh my gosh.. Coryo, it feels so good…” As he kept pumping his fingers in and out of her, he suddenly attached his lips onto her clit as he sucked on her clit and pumped his fingers harder, each movement feeling more and more intense for Y/N. He kept on going as he curled his fingers one final time, which made Y/N yell out as she squirted and covered his fingers with her wetness.

Y/N sighed in satisfaction as she helped Coriolanus up and gave him a deep, passionate kiss while tugging down his underwear and hooking her legs on the bottom of his back, Coriolanus leaned in closer as he aligned his erection with her heat, tapping his dick on her clit a few times before pushing his hardness in her heat. He only pushed in half of it when Y/N suddenly exclaimed, “Coryo, it’s too much! I can’t take all of it!” 

Coriolanus leaned down so his forehead was laying against hers before whispering in a comforting tone, “It will fit, Y/N. Trust me, trust me..” He closed his eyes as he leaned in to capture her lips with his as he pushed in slower this time, now being able to fill her pussy with his cock to the point where their hips were against each other. Coriolanus groaned as he slowly pulled out before thrusting in again, “Fuck, Y/N… You’re so good. Such a good girl..” 

Y/N moaned at hearing him praise her as he started to thrust his dick in faster, each time harder and rougher than the last. The room started to echo with the sound of her moaning, his groaning and the sound of skin slapping. Y/N closed her eyes as she moaned, her mouth forming an “O” shape as she threw her head back once more and arched her back, needing to feel closer to him. Coriolanus wrapped his arms around her waist as he pulled her in closer and kissed his way all around her neck, leaving furious red hickeys which would soon turn purple.

The pace in which he was fucking her got rougher each time he would thrust his aching hard dick into her dripping pussy, the slapping sound really turning them on and his balls slapped to her ass, their moans becoming louder and louder each time. The furious force in which he was fucking her started to reach a boiling point as Coriolanus moaned, “Ugh.. I’m fucking cumming, Y/N. Oh.. You’re such a good girl. Such a tight and wet pussy..” 

“Ohh.. Coriolanus… So good, so deep… I’m gonna come, gonna come.. OH MY GODD!!” Y/N screamed as she came. Coriolanus groaned as he came inside her, sighing as he tried to bask in the afterglow of his orgasm, holding Y/N tight against his chest in the process. Y/N left kisses and hickeys around his neck as she looked up at him with a dazed but satisfied expression and kissed his lips however, this time the kiss shared between them wasn’t one full of hate, it was one full of love.

As they pulled away from each other and started to get dressed, Coriolanus faced Y/N and said, “You know, if you wanted to fuck me, you could’ve said so.” He said with a smirk. Y/N turned to look at him, acting shocked as she huffed in feign frustration, “Oh shut up, Coriolanus!” She smacked his chest as both of them gave each other a silly grin before hurling in laughter.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Fandom observation nicknames and funny tags: Part One Piece

Okay, one piece fandom it's your turn and I'm going to highlight your creativity. Again this is not meant to shame or call anyone out. I am genuinely impressed with the creativity and you guys made me laugh. So again in my opinion these were too good just to be lost in the tags or in the anonymous messages, several you sent me. So expand post at your own risk. This one is unhinged

* updated as of April 6th with more tags and new characters

I have mentioned this before, but for some reason that is beyond me. One Piece fandom you guys refer to your characters as daddy and mommy (And it's in a kinky way) way more than any fandom. I think I should just start with the list of characters that have been labeled as such before I go into the creative names for individual characters. Because trust me who makes the list and who doesn't is actually funny.

One piece Daddy's: Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy, Sir Crocodile, Benn Beckman, Killer, Sanji, Rayleigh, Roger, Doflamingo, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Ivankov, Arlong, Yamato, Marco, Izou, Smoker, Garp, Sengoku, Zeff, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora & Akainu

When it comes to the One piece Mommy's: Nico Robin, Boa Hancock, Charlotte Smoothie, Charlotte Galette, Charlotte Amande, Vice admiral doll, Catarina Devon, Ivankov & Crocodile

Now due to popular demand the new category the One Piece Babygirls: Ace, Buggy, Sanji, Luffy, Sabo, Zoro, Ussop, Marco, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Kid, Law, Bepo, Killer, Mihawk, Shanks, Perona, Yamato, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Smoker, Robin, Nami, Vivi, Jinbe, Hatchan, Roger, Zeff

Now when it comes to individual characters there have been some interesting standouts but I'm just going to do some highlights because you guys have so many characters

Arlong: "Y'all are too afraid to recognize the truth too afraid of his drip, his swagger, his saw nose, to admit that he's hot also live action arlong?!?!the only sexy fishmen," "arlong looks like a toxic florida frat bro," "I legitimately think there's something wrong with me sometimes due to how bad I want arlong the rancid personality enhances the appeal,"

Ace: "Depressed sunshine orphan boy with daddy issues", "ace has that grungy line cook riz you know he lays legendary pipe", " he got goofy older brother swag", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", "Ace my greasy fire narcoleptic king", "The narcoleptic babygirl", the greasy crusty desert rat. "He would be worth the burn risk", "my favorite fire donut", "something about greasy alabasta ace hits so different", "with his riz he's probably a walking STD risk but it would be worth it. Just look at him probably also probably got a couple bastard kids running around the grand line"

Akainu: "The world's next top authoritarian," magma Daddy, "He makes donuts and I still love him"

Ben Beckman: Dilf, "retirement blorbo", "Benn Beckman is a religious experience", "to me? beckman is the character with the most sex appeal ever. raw sex appeal. I would [redacted] if I met this man. just sayin", "He can ruin my life any day of the week", "Also lest we forget pre TS Beck a++ quality right there I just want someone smart who will also hit a guy with a gun is that so much to ask for", "This p**** wants what she wants and its always going to be Benn “back breaker" Beckman", husband material, "men are like wine in order to get a good vintage you want the one that's aged", he had that sexy blind and reckless loyalty about him", "Beckman is a fine aged vintage of wine as men should be", "DEAR GOD the things I WOULD DO to that man LIKE [redacted] and [redacted] because [redacted] and [redacted]", "idk how to explain it but he's so wife"

Buggy: Assigned clown at birth, walking disaster, "my pathetic sniveling wet clown", my Beloved, "he has blue hair and pronouns", Failboy, "the skrunkly clown", "my clown wife", "he has that fail boy cringe", "buggy has the stronger levels of foolishness and fumbling his way to success", "the cringefail clown extraordinaire buggy", "he is silly and pathetic like a bisexual divorced dad",

Catarina Devon: "my problematic lesbian sugar mommy”

Crocodile: desert daddy, Babygirl, "He's like if tony soprano was trans", crocodaddy, crocomommy, Big titty mob boss, He's 8ft tall and I would let he ruin me,"Mr. Sandman", "the human sandcastle," "literally has sand in his britches", "son of a beach", "World's Most Expensive Sand Sculpture", "he's got 99 problems and his hook is one of them", "casino blorbo", "I would subject myself to sandburn any day for THE SIR FUCKING CROCODILE Anakin Skywalker don't go here because I WOULD love sand if it was like 8 feet tall and had a voice like that absolutely rabid he could stick his sand in so many places and I'd thank him crocodile is one of those guys i wanted to hate so bad and then went actually no i want this guy carnally Crocodile has some weird rizz goin on and i need to climb that sandcastle", "I'm so sorry but I need to eat crocodile's pussy", "With Sir Crocodile you can have Sex on the Beach. Literally. Plus he owns a casino so you could probably sip on the cocktail version too...while getting some cocktail.", "mafia vibes and style", "crocodile's got style. class. you will be wined and dined in the most exquisite way you can imagine", "He's got DADDY vibes", " One handsome mafia boss",

Dragon: "the revolutionary scrungle dragon",

Doflamingo: "Dofy's got some wierd (potentially fun) energy but he would NOT treat you well he'd be awful", "The psychopathic pimp on a shoestring budget. Seriously dude, San Diego Zoo called and they want their flamingos back. That coat is so last season.", "fashion travesty", "Doflamingo dresses like an eye test and will probably steal your credit card by the end of the night not because he needs the money. because he finds it hilarious", "Mingo is just a spoiled frat fuckboy who's too full of himself to be interested in anyone/anything else", "a balding white man", "evil florida man my beloved they dont understand you",

Eustass Kid: Pirate punk, "He's a sopping wet loser", "a man wearing eyeliner and nailpolish is by definition hotter", "my scrungy little fuck", he would also probably give me an STD and it would still be worth it

Franky: " Three words light up nipples"

Fujitora: "fujitora yes plz that like calm collected way he fights makes me KNOW hed take care of his partner real good", "have you seen how he slurps his noodles? I just know he could eat me out in ways I could never imagine"

Jinbe: "I wanna suck on the webbing between his fingers", does anyone else contemplate how soft Jinbe's tits are to lie on or is that just me?

Marco: Bird daddy "Mr. Dr. Emotionally-Stable Scrungles", "surfer hippy electric blue glasses wing flapper", "DR. MMMMM", Fineapple

Kaido: "beefcake beast of a man",

Killer: "big tiddy murder boyfriend",

Luffy: "l am in the minority here I need luffy's gomu gomu no [REDACTED]"

Mihawk: The Vampire Pirate, Goth Dad, the sword father, Pirate Dracula, the big titty goth husband, "I think mihawk would treat you right. i want mihawk to treat me right", "I love his gay wine uncle energy", "I appreciate that he dresses Like That everywhere extra ass bitch", "hot vampire cowboy pirate", Morticia Addams, "Mihawk oozes 'step on me' energy",

Robin: "she has irresistible weird girl rizz", "big tiddy archaeologist gf"

Rosinante: "my insane clumsy tall dilf", "wife material", "he has cringefail dad swag", "rosi is everything to me actually. I would climb that tall clumsy king like a tree", "the klutzy mime", "he has that pathetic depressed clown vibe thats irresistible", "He's the epiome of strong but silent, he's the asshole with a heart of gold, he has everything", rosinante is hot tho and his clumsiness somehow enhances it", "I've said it before and I'll say it again I WOULD climb that clumsy king like a tall tree want to kiss him until his silly jester makeup is all over me too", "I am loyal to the guy who actively sets himself on fire",

Sanji: fail wife, Cooking Daddy, "I NEED sanji to f*** me to tuesday and make me dinner before and breakfast after", "The man will feed you the best meal you've ever had and genuinely compliment something about you", "His fighting style is 'kick the problem until it goes away' and he chugs Love Women Juice", "he can cook and fight and he's damn fine while doing both"

Shanks: Margaritaville Himbo, "Dilflicious", "the deadbeat malewife wifi user", "I am a whole lesbian but if there were a butch girl version of these men I would let shanks ruin my life", "favorite guy in the local frat" He's probably a walking STD risk but he's hot and I'm a slut that has a thing for red heads, "the unwashed bitch", "LOOK AT THAT SCRUFF ON SHANKS the three scars on his face that smile", "my Scrungle drunk bastard", I would volunteer to be his next baby mama you know shanks got a few a dozen red haired children all over the grand line tell me I'm wrong"

Silvers Rayleigh: "Silver Fox Rayleigh", "he's old but he can get it", "Rayleigh has that 'your daughter calls me daddy too' energy", "he's a gilf who married a literal queen", "rayleigh has spent his entire life SERVING CUNT", "Raiyleigh has that gilf energy despite having no kids", I need him in so many different ways I cannot list", "he has my heart around his little finger", "Rayleigh makes me howl like a dog I swear", "I mean come on look at his HAIR his GLASSES that incredible STARE even his wrinkles are hot", "Rayleigh got the 50 year anniversary in the bag idk why you would go for anything else", "helloooo????? Rayleigh is the hottest old guy in one piece please", "I would let rayleigh ruin me and I would thank him", "Rayleigh to me is more like a really smooth mead"

Zoro: "The President of the strawhat's local big titty committee", "The king of boobs", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", I would probably get an STD but it would be worth it, "his stupidity and gay attire make him very appealing", canonically the biggest tits in one piece, He got them big naturals, "Big honkabadonkaroo hoinkybadinkirs massive man tiddies Zoro", "Zoro oozes 'I won't let anyone hurt you' energy"

Trafalgar Law: "DR. Slut", "He has them tattoos which makes me go fucking feral", "A stoner greasy boyfailure", "the edgy emo orphan boy with daddy issues", 'My tried stressed bitch"

Yamato: "I need my trans man big naturals...... I know nothing about one piece but yamato lives rent free in my brain and my heart at all times the only anime figure i have is of him and i don't even watch the fucking show", "he's new + he's trans + he's over 8 feet tall + he's a wolf god what more could you want?!", "he is filled to the brim with TRANSMASC SWAG", "it's transmasc dog boy swag for me he's my best boy", "Yamato's boobs call to me I need to motorboat yamato titties. whoa who said that", "yamato could crush me and i would thank him yes indeed", "I just found out Yamato is Literally a whole entire meter taller than me & that's all the convincing I need", "my canon transmasc king", "cant compete with is the fact that on top of beautiful yamato is just. fucking huge like i can not will not get over it every time i remember he's 8'7 in canon I'm like aaaAaaAaAAaAAAAaa kiss me on the mouth big boy", "as an aroace person. if yamato stepped on me id thank him. thank you for your time", "hes literally the whole reason i started watching/reading one piece

Zeff: "He will wine and dine me before leaving me lovingly bedridden the day after. And he actually takes care of his kid", "Zeff is honorable and can cook and clean and bathes and almost dies for a kid that's not his and then adopts him" He's got line cook energy. If you know you know

I definitely know I'm going to have to add to this since there's so many more characters and you all are definitely going to get more creative after seeing the list.

And a few observations. Why did Sanji make the daddy list and not Zoro? Characters that I thought would be short cliff notes turned into some of the longest sections And characters I thought would have some of the longest sections turned into some of the shortest ones. And I still think this was worse theyn JJK I just forget how unhinged this fandom can be because your unhinged craziness is dispersed amongst so many characters. And I haven't decided which fandom's next.

I now have my answer on why Sanji made the list and not Zoro. Overall the fandom is just thirsty so very thirsty. Hence the many updates to this list

[itsmealaiah]

"not exactly"

TW: making out, drunk kissing, profanity, mentions of homophobia, assigned male at birth reader, tongue-kissing, he/him pronouns, alcohol use

Request: Hear me out. Bill and an m!reader who are at an after party with the rest of the band, and are secretly just waiting to get drunk enough to where they can make out and blame it on the alcohol. And I mean like PASSIONATE making out, like bill is on reader’s lap and they’re just shoving their tongues down eachothers throats… BUT pictured get leaked and at a band interview the interviewer asks and they’re just like “uhm- uh- we were drunk.” LIKE NO SHIT Anyway, love the work💕

Rating: 18+, mature themes ahead.

WC: 0.7k

Pairing: bill kaulitz x m! reader

"Can I get a whiskey sour?"

You asked the bartender, three drinks lying by your arm on the bar as you felt a little buzzed, but other than that you were doing fine. You smiled as he made the drink and placed it in front of you, downing the alcohol within seconds, slamming it back down onto the counter.

You were at an after-party with the band, celebrating the end of another successful concert and another successful night. The place chosen, by tom of course, was a club with plenty of female entertainment. It didn't quite intrigue you though, your interests set...somewhere else.

A tall man with black hair and a sexy voice, to be more detailed.

You had loved him since day one, he was so kind and sweet to everyone, always treating the person he was with carefully with the utmost respect.

It made you head over heels for him, but you weren't sure if he reciprocated the feelings you had. He was so nice to you, but he tended to seem more interested in women than he was with yourself.

You didn't mind, until tonight, where he sat all alone, sipping on a drink while his brother was getting grinded on by some hooker, smiling drunkenly in pleasure.

You turned your barstool around and hopped off, making your way through the sweaty, dancing crowd over to him, and plopping down on the seat next to him, his eyes darting to you as you caressed his thigh. "hey billy"

you purred in his ear, nibbling on his earlobe as he blushed profusely. 'h-hi y/n" he stuttered nervously.

your hand drifted away from his thigh, going up to his semi-hard crotch and you began to rub it through his black jeans, grinning wickedly as you saw his body jerk and his eyes role backwards.

"how are you?" you asked, his lips wide open sluttily as his eyes closed from the pleasure. "g-good" he murmured, his cock now fully hard. "mm, that's nice to hear" you whispered sensually, palming his cock faster as he moaned.

you brought your lips to his, the softness meeting yours as you made out with him, still rubbing on his poor dick :(

he moaned into your mouth, allowing your tongue to slip in and roam around his mouth, pressing your lips further into his, wrapping your hand around his waist, holding him close

"haah" he struggled to keep up with the kisses, being too close to bliss to be bothered.

His release was fast approaching, his moans more desperate and throaty as your mouth left his, leaving a gentle kiss on his shoulder as you bit gently, causing him to cum in his pants as he shook.

"y-y/n" "yes billy?" "c-can we go back to your house?"

then yall fucked nastily 😝

The next day the five of you were seated at an interview, smiling as the fans cheered for tom and bill the most.

The interviewer greeted you all with a joyful face, and pulled the cards from the table, and asked you a few, concerning the band's next concert, where the next tour was going to be, and about tom's sex life.

After those questions, his gaze drifted to you, and you met his eyes with confusion. you weren't usually asked questions being the vocalist.

"so y/n, i heard you had a little fun last night" he winked to you and bill, and you flushed, immediately denying the statement as the rest of the band looked intrigued.

you laughed, trying to play it off. "i'm not sure what you're talking about" you attempted to lighten the air.

"are you sure?" the interviewer pressed. "can we pull up the pictures?" he asked and soon, the scenes of your escapade at the club were displayed for everyone.

you glanced over at them, and then at bill, who was hiding his face, his cheeks flushed dark red.

"do you know what i'm talking about now?"

Taglist: @madzandmore @20doozers @tomscumdump @tomssexdoll @billslittlewhore @charliesgoodboy

Comment to be tagged!

Requests are open! keep sending them in!

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

Once again thinking about how we don't have a culture.

The possibility of an aroace existence is never offered to us. From birth, everyone around us assumes that we will one day feel typical attraction. They imagine helping us plan our weddings. They imagine grandkids. They imagine all the milestones in a row. And if we're very lucky, they open themselves to the possibility of these things happening with someone of our assigned gender instead of someone of the other one.

These milestones— romance, sex, marriage, children— are a when, not an if. From the beginning, we're given no space to imagine our future. So many of our problems would be solved by that little word. If. If leaves space for the possibility of refusal. Refusal leaves space for the possibility of other options.

I've tried to study history to prove that we've always existed. And the first 100 years of it is medical journals. When we were first acknowledged to exist, it was as a disease. We don't have an Oscar Wilde or a Virginia Woolf or an Elgabalus, any prominent figure from the distant past that we can point to and say "we have always been here". How would we? It's so hard to prove a negative, until you want to say someone has something wrong with them.

Sherronda J. Brown makes a compelling case for Octavia Butler. They talk about how we're afraid to read our heroes of the past asexually, and how it could be liberating to imagine them as such. But if I'm honest, imagining the past in any particular way isn't helpful to me. The past can't be changed. Even if Octavia Butler had an experience that resembled mine externally, projecting my internal subjectivity onto her or anyone else just feels deeply wrong to me. I want to imagine the future so we might create it for ourselves.

A great epistemological injustice has been committed against us and we are prisoners in our own minds. We stand a chance at escaping this prison through art and literature and scholarship made by and for us, visions of the lives we can create with one another in opposition to the normative script we've been sold. There comes a time where we must move from addressing the rest of the world and hoping they deign to listen, to addressing each other as equals and allies in the same fight.

[butch-king-frankenstein]

As an intersex trans woman:

"Male" is my assigned gender at birth. Notice how I didn't say "coercively assigned gender at birth". The fact that I was born with a penis, and therefore my parents said, "This is our son," does not constitute "coercion". It represents the unfortunately narrow predominating cultural view of sex and gender, yeah, and it definitely gave me some difficulties growing up, but it was not an inherently violent act.

"Male" is also my coercively assigned sex at birth, because the doctors who delivered me and treated me afterwards—who had ample opportunity to notice that I did not entirely physically conform to either male or female standards—saw that I was born with a penis, and said to my parents, "This is your son." That was a violent act, whether deliberate or otherwise, made to prevent me from straying outside the socially enforced boundaries of sex and gender. And I'm one of the lucky ones; as far as I'm aware, I was never given nonconsensual cosmetic surgery to bring my body more in line with a male standard.

In the vast, vast majority of cases, being assigned a gender at birth is not "coercive", because you can literally just change your mind about it later. Obviously transitioning is a difficult process that society would rather you not attempt, but in the most basic possible terms of "undergoing self-analysis that leads you to deciding your assigned gender is wrong", there's really nothing anyone can do to stop you.

On the other hand, when you're coercively assigned a sex at birth, that shit is pretty much on lock for life. Any records of your physical divergences present at birth are kept hidden from you. You might notice some new ones pop up around puberty, but you will be gaslit into thinking that whatever's happening is normal. Everyone you know—most likely unknowingly but not always—is forcing you into a box labeled "MALE" or "FEMALE". And without prying open your infant medical records or meeting someone who has the same form of intersex condition as you, you might go to your grave without ever knowing they were wrong.

If that resonates with you as a trans person, I'd suggest looking into some resources for intersex people. You can be both. I would know.

[merakiui]

That ceo!azul did sum to me but likr- imagine you and azul in a kind of "arranged marriage" troupe but its actually just him forcing u into this situation. How'd u even get here? Well first, you were fired from ur work bcs of "mistreatment towards other employees" issue. Defending urself won't work when there's someone pulling the strings from behind. Second, u can't really rely on ur parents since they're too old to be working, welp- they're relying on u since they're too old so-.. oh! I know! Job hunting! What? U bumped on someone? Sorry! "I've falled for u" well- sir, technically i bumped into u so u fell-… What? Go on a date with u as a compensation? Uh- sure?? Ohh this man named Azul is a nice man, too nice actually. He treats u well, cares for ur family, is kind, financially stable and most of all! Is devilishly handsome! A perfect man who doesn't expect anything from you(yet)! Hm? U want me to live with u? Sure! Eh? Sex? Ok! Huh? A wedding? Uhm- sure?? W-what?? A… Baby..? That's unexpected… O-ok? Since he's a good man and dotes on u.. nothing can be wrong right?

😵‍💫 he's so fine,,,, and he's the full package, too! So no matter how much you try to avoid him or tiptoe around all of these things he wants from you, everyone you know thinks he's a blessing. He's a well-off man with an impressive job. He has the resources to care for you and your parents as they're getting on in years. And he's sweet and handsome and has an impeccable fashion sense. Seriously, why haven't you married him yet?! >:( everyone thinks you're crazy for not grasping such a good opportunity, but then they don't know Azul beneath the perfect, pristine façade he upholds. He dotes on you, but it's to an unhealthy amount. And he's trying to be patient, but he wants that ring on your finger as soon as possible, preferably with a baby on the way as well, but he can exercise a little restraint for your sake.

He brings you to all sorts of fancy events and introduces you as his lover. You meet his parents and he's so excited to tell them that one day the two of you will be wed, but in the meantime you're trying day and night for a child. You can try to run away, but when you show just an ounce of defiance or you stray too far from Azul's hold the Leech twins are there to remind you of where you ought to be. Sometimes they're assigned to watch over you while Azul's at work. Ever since you got involved with him, he's insisted you needn't work. So you quit your job (at Azul's behest) and now live in his luxurious penthouse. You feel like a child when the twins are put on babysitting duty. You try to chase them out, but they're here to stay, grinning down at you and slyly warning you to play nice (or be mean; they don't mind it when you're rough).

You're the worst at saying no, and since Azul has done so many good things for you and your family it's impossible to deny him what he wants. You feel like no matter what you do you can never repay the debt you owe him. Even though you try to plead with him about wearing protection or how you think it would be smarter if you took birth control, he's adamant that it has to be raw. He wants to start a family with you! Can't do that if you're practicing safe sex now, can you? Don't be silly, (Name). He'll take good care of you once you're pregnant. After all, he always has. So just lay back and let him give you what he wants you want.

[vani-lla-boi]

I really dislike the conflation of the words “transgender” and “gender-nonconforming”.

Transgender means that the gender you identify as is different from your sex assigned at birth.

Gender-nonconforming means that the gender you identify as is different from the way you express yourself.

They’re also not mutually exclusive. So a trans AND gnc person would be like a really feminine transmasc or a really masculine transfem. And they’re so valid and honestly some of the coolest people ever.

But saying that trans people are always gnc implies that sex and gender are the same, since most trans people are not conforming to their sex assigned at birth. It’s highkey really invalidating to one’s identity.

Once some nonbinary people I know were talking about periods and they kept saying “women and gnc people” get them. I was like what about transmascs like me??

[butchbarbieagainstterfs]

Terfs: cis woman don't experience gender euphoria from just existing as a woman. Like when we're experiencing periods, we don't have "feelings" of womanhood or having a soul that of a woman, and think "yay! I am a female!". I don't experience euphoria, I'm literally just existing. Etc etc.

Me, a cis woman: umm.... ???

This is paraphrasing but I legit saw a terf say something just like this earlier(can't remember the username because I ended up blocking them), but like. 😬😬

I mean I get that people aren't gonna like every aspect of their gender or whatever but like, can't cis people experience gender euphoria too? Like? You identify with the sex you were assigned at birth, and that doesn't give you euphoria? I don't get it.

Like I get gender euphoria and gender dysmorphia, etc etc is mostly a trans thing, so like they don't wanna be associated with anything trans. But, imagine being so miserable, that you think womanhood is about just suffering or something. Sorry for the mini rant, Idk if I'm making any sense here, but I hope you get it. 😅😅

Idk it just rubbed me the wrong way, like yea, people be just existing. Ya know, trans people be just existing too, they don't always have to have gender euphoria or whatever either I guess. People are people are people.

I would say cis women getting boob enlargements and cis men getting penis enlargements and any euphoria they get from that is a form of gender euphoria. I also think a cis woman looking at another woman and a cis man looking at another man, and thinking “I want to look like them” is a form of gender envy.

[ploncc]

The A-Sexy Talk

sup mothers and fuckers, i always wanted something more comprehensive than the cake metaphors and it took me like a whole ass decade to work this out because i was assigned dumbass at birth, so for all the other adab folks out there, here:

disclaimer: this is just one way of breaking down sex and sexuality, and our definitions of asexuality are likely to change with different contexts, and that's okay

Sex (for the purpose of this discussion) is the action. Solo play, getting pounded, frottage, oral, whatever, wherever, with whomever, we don't care. Sex is all of it, baby.

Arousal is a state your body can be in. Your heart rate goes up, if you were online in the superwholock days then you know those damn pupils dilate, you might start feeling warm, and you might get wet, get a boner, or both, or neither, depending on what the normal for your junk is!

Libido or sex-drive is how often/much you want sexual stimulation. This might be very frequently and A LOT. This might be occasionally, or only a little. This might be never.

Consent isn't an inherently sexual topic. Consent is when someone agrees to specific activity/activities with another person/people. A lot of places have an age of consent, over which you can consent to medical treatment, legal contracts, and yeah, sex. And just like consent is integral to medical treatment and signing contracts, sex has to have consent.

Sexual Attraction is when you want to engage sexually with someone, even if you wouldn't should you ever have the opportunity. Sometimes we call it desire, or lust. A lot of times it's based off physical appearance, or vibes, or personality. This can overlap a lot with arousal, but sometimes someone you feel sexual attraction towards won't be that arousing, and sometimes the opposite is true.

Sensual Attraction is when you want to engage with someone using your senses. Usually this refers to the sense of touch. Ever look at someone and go "Damn, I bet they'd give wicked awesome hugs," or "Fucking hell, their voice, I could listen to them all day," or "I just want to feel that person's body close to mine," or similar? That's sensual attraction, baby! Similarly to sexual attraction, just because you're sensually attracted doesn't mean you'd physically engage with the person if given the opportunity.

Romantic Attraction is when you want to engage with someone romantically. I feel like you're getting the pattern now, yeah? Yeah. Cool.

Sexual Pleasure or sometimes just pleasure is when you feel good from sexual stimulation. Straightforward for once. Nice, right?

Kink is something we culturally defined as being not inherently sexual (or not sexual to that degree) that gives arousal and/or pleasure to someone nonetheless. Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me, BDSM, fear play, fetishes, all that good shit. We also refer to the kink community and engaging in play as just simply "kink" sometimes.

And last, not but not least, Abstinence is when someone abstains (see what they did there) from sex for practical reasons. Injuries, disease prevention, an unavailability of safe and reliable birth control, stuff like that. Celibacy is similar, but folks that are celibate are abstaining from sex for religious/moral code reasons. Get it? Good.

Okay.

So.

Asexuality is when someone does not experience sexual attraction.

That's it!

An asexual person (an ace) might have any range of libido, might experience arousal, can give consent so long as they are above the age of consent, might experience different forms of attractions like sensual attraction or romantic attraction (or even attractions that we didn't cover here), may or may not have practical/religious reasons for engaging or not engaging in sex, might have kinks, and can (if they so choose to) have sex.

That's all there is to it! The same depth and breadth of experience that exists outside the ace community is also found within the ace community, because individual variation doesn't give a shit whether your population is queer or not.

"But wait!" someone cries out, "what about people that hate sex! I thought they were called asexual?!"

That's called being Sex Repulsed and it is also a normal experience for humans to have! Sometimes it's caused by trauma or something else, and sometimes it isn't. But as you'd think, feeling extreme discomfort/disgust/repulsion at the idea of sex and/or the act of it means the likelihood of feeling sexual attraction is pretty fucking low. Not impossible! Just low. So yeah, a lot of sex repulsed folks are a part of the ace community, are vital to our history and culture, and are loved by us. And, not all aces are sex-repulsed.

Makes sense?

....hopefully?

Cool.

[genderkoolaid]

The transandrophobia brainrot has hit tiktok hard. There's a sound going around right now that uses the T slur in a reclamatory way, but whenever a transmasc person uses the sound people lose their minds saying it's transmisogynistic for them to use that word. But when cis male drag queens use the audio it's a slay.

My answer to those people is Get Kate Bornstein'd:

Tranny. Many people don’t know the history of the word, they assume it was an assigned hate term or slur along the lines of the “n” word. That’s not how it happened. Tranny was invented by us in Sydney, Australia in the 1970s where drag was a big deal, and still the best drag shows ever are in Sydney, Australia – they’re amazing. So a lot of trans-identified women who were assigned male at birth did drag, that’s how you made your living. And so they were transsexuals, transvestites, drag queens, and they were all doing drag to make money. They all bickered amongst each other who is better than who, “Well the drag queens are better,” “No, the transsexuals are better.” “You are all freaks, we’re better.” And on and on and on. But they worked together and they were family together, so they came up with a word that would say family and that was tranny. In Australia they do the diminutive, that’s how they come up with words. So tranny. I learned the word in the mid-1980s, late 1980s from my drag mom in San Francisco, Doris Fish, who was the city’s preeminent drag queen and she’d come from Sydney. And she schooled me in this word tranny, she said, “This way it means we’re family, darling.” “Thank you mama.” [...] So we used it and we were trannies together. And F to M was just beginning to start, the trans men were just beginning to become visible, Lou Sullivan was a neighbor of mine around the corner, and he was the first big out trans man, wrote his book. So trans men and cross dressers . . . cross dressers were also family. Transsexuals, we were all trannies and that felt good. That got into the sex industry and became a genre – there was tranny porn, there were tranny sex workers – chicks with dicks, she-males. [...] And, my only guess is that people who . . . because the only way they would have found out about the word is if they were watching tranny porn or having been with a tranny sex worker and then hated themselves so much that they turned it into a curse word. So it’s not really technically correct to say we’re reclaiming a word – it was always ours. So, many people mistake the word for the hatred behind the word and, in my generation, and I’m sure in future generations of trans people, tranny is going to be a radicalized, sexualized identity of trans in the same way that faggot is a prideful identity in the gay male community – not all gay men are faggots, but those who are are proudly fags and those who are dykes are proudly dykes within the lesbian community, trannies are proudly tranny within the transgender community. Does that mean we can’t call ourselves that because some trans woman does not want to be called a tranny? No. I’m going to keep calling myself a tranny. To the trans woman who gets called tranny, I’m sorry – as soon as . . . you’ve got to look at why you’re getting called tranny and if you don’t pass, you’re going to be read as a transgender person and then you fall back on the cultural view of trans folk which is freak, disgusting, not worth living, we can hurt you. It has nothing to do with the word, it has everything to do with the cultural attitude. So the word has stirred up a shit storm, but it’s not the word.

^ From this interview

Four weeks ago, Bear posted a call for submissions on his blog. In the interests of keeping the call as open as possible, we agreed to include as many trans-identities as we knew, so we used the word "tranny." And that's where the activist shit hit the postmodern fan base. People have been pissed. Here's their argument: FTMs are co-opting a word that belongs to MTFs. The word "tranny" belongs to MTFs, reason those who were hurt by our use of the word, because it was a denigrating term reclaimed by MTFs—ergo, only MTFs could be known as trannies. I spoke with Bear, and we agree that’s wrong on several counts:

Tranny began as a uniting term amongst ourselves. Of course it’s going to be picked up and used as a denigrating term by mean people in the world. But even if we manage to get them to stop saying tranny like a thrown rock, mean people will come up with another word to wound us with. So, let’s get back to using tranny as a uniting term amongst ourselves. That would make Doris Fish very happy.

It's our first own language word for ourselves that has no medical-legacy. 

Even if (like gay) hate-filled people try to make tranny into a bad word, our most positive response is to own the word (a word invented by the queerest of the queer of their day). We have the opportunity to re-create tranny as a positive in the world.

Saying that FTMs can’t call themselves trannies eerily echoes the 1980s lesbians who said I couldn’t use the word woman to identify myself, and the 1990s lesbians who said I couldn’t use the word dyke. 

At one phase in the evolution of transpeople-as-tribe, it was the male-to-females who were visible and representative of trans to the rest of the world. They were the trannies. Today? Ironically true to the binary we’re in the process of shattering, the pendulum has swung so that it's now female-to-males who are the archetypal trannies of the day. The generation coming up beyond the next generation, i.e. my tribal grandchildren are the young boys who transition to young girls at the age of five or six. They’re the next trannies. None of us can own the word. We can only be grateful that our tribe is so much larger than we had thought it would be. How to come together—now that’s the job of the next generation of gender outlaws.

^ From Who You Calling A Tranny?

We've been having this debate forever and its been stupid forever.

And its an increasingly outdated debate. More people know about trans men&mascs than ever and there are plenty of TM&Ms who have been called tranny by transphobes who don't give a shit about this distinction. And not just people who have been mistaken for transfems, either, but men like Andrew Jonathan Blake-Newton and Saye Skye who were attacked by people who knew them. Do they have more or less of a right to say tranny than a trans girl whose never been called it by a transphobe? (Neither. Because no one owns this word.)

[nezuscribe]

𝐩𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬

summary: in a land where marriage is set in stone at birth and love is but a myth, a girl tries her best to navigate the life she's been born into. when her father assigns her own knight, somebody he trusts to look after her in these dangerous times, nobody would have expected the brave young soldier to twist her story with his, taking your life into a spin that was unforeseen by the fates.

pairing: bakugo katsuki x fem!reader

genre: forbidden love, royalty au, strangers to friends to lovers, comfort, mild angst, fluff

warnings: mdni 18+, all characters are aged up, detailed sex, heavy making out, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, a little bit of a hand job, grinding, all the works lmao, mentions of depressive thoughts, nothing too explicit

notes: reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!

as always, thank you so much @jadeisthirsting for beta reading this and helping me throughout this fic!

mha masterlist

The bazaars of Afrasiab were unlike any other, and they dimmed in comparison to what the mind could imagine. All of the land in Persia held its animosity, a secret that can only be revealed by sight, but the bazaars there were something no tongue could describe and no ear to relay correctly.

They smelled of lamb and beef kabobs, cooked to perfection, began wafting around the carts of fabrics early in the morning. The mountains of spices were perfectly balanced in their own little plates, laying undisrupted until they caught the eye of curious passersby.

Many streets carried deep underground, for when the bazaar needed continuing and couldn’t be held entirely on top, and the hidden passages held wonders unknown to man.

Unfortunately, however, for somebody seeing these bustling markets for the first time, they tended to be confusing to figure out at the least, and nearly impossible to navigate most of the time.

The young woman who traveled closely with his cloak perched over her head tried to wind through the serpentine stalls, keeping his chin close to her chest as she only watched through the corners of her eyes, careful not to bring attention to herself nor the satchel in her hand. It was all so new to her, every sight she was intaking a far cry from what she was accustomed to seeing. The faint cries of the salesman trying to sell his silver tableware or the santur being played somewhere distant was an overload to somebody who was used to the strange serenity the palace offered.

Everything was a sight to behold. She never came to buy something, only to see. She liked the way this place almost had its own separate language, how it awoke at dawn and never seemed to sleep. She loved how the shopkeepers, always respectful of one another in their boundaries, tried their best to outdo one another in favor of better business.

The way someone shouted to gain the attention of somebody, the way they laced their words with enough enthusiasm to keep the shoppers interested was something she never grew tired of. In comparison to the bleak life that was awaiting her when she got back, these little bits of excitement were enough enrichment to keep her going for a little bit longer.

She took it all in, enjoying the opportunity as she doubted it’d be trusted upon her again, and smiled to herself at the mosaics that lined the curved walls, the dim light the candles offered helped her navigate through the underground bazaar. She looked through all the silverware, the plates painted with utmost care.

She looked through and let her fingers graze above the satin fabrics all dyed a different color. The smells of turmeric and saffron flooded her nose, mixing with the occasional whiff of rose, and she felt as though all these things at once were too compelling alone for a human mind.

No stories nor descriptions could have prepared her for what she was going to experience. It was magical, something surely out of a book. Despite that, however, every minute she spent trying to enjoy the sights was another minute that clicked in her mind mentally.

“Oi,” A gruff voice snapped, jolting her rudely out of her ongoing daydream, “Watch it.”

His eyes shined brighter than the pomegranate seeds you were used to seeing every day. His jaw was carved, his body stiff. He was large, unusually so, and the only time you had seen a man of his size and demeanor was a man heading off to war.

Even with the little bits, you could see of him you could tell that he was simply gorgeous, a crude beauty that nature had somehow created out of her own force. Sure, all the men you were used to seeing were either a couple of years older than you (or so old you wondered how they were even living) and snotty, but you knew that this sort was beyond anything. Had he not been waiting so impatiently for you to talk, you wouldn’t have stumbled to get something out.

Even with the little bits, you could see of him you could tell that he was simply gorgeous, a crude beauty that nature had somehow created out of her own force. Sure, all the men you were used to seeing were either a couple of years older than you (or so old you wondered how they were even living) and snotty, but you knew that this sort was beyond anything. Had he not been waiting so impatiently for you to talk, you wouldn’t have stumbled to get something out.

Even with the little bits, you could see of him you could tell that he was simply gorgeous, a crude beauty that nature had somehow created out of her own force. Sure, all the men you were used to seeing were either a couple of years older than you (or so old you wondered how they were even living) and snotty, but you knew that this sort was beyond anything. Had he not been waiting so impatiently for you to talk, you wouldn’t have stumbled to get something out.

“Apologies,” You muttered, adjusting your robes again so that they covered your clothing underneath, not wanting anybody to get a quick glimpse of the tunic underneath, glancing up as you gave him an apologetic grin, “I wasn’t paying attention.”

He nodded curtly, seeming to agree with you as his gaze roamed your face, trying to decipher you for whatever reason as he gave a low grunt.

“It’s alright.” His lips pressed into a thin line, moving past you as he readjusted his hood. You opened your mouth, pausing when you watched his lips twitch, looking left and right as you felt your shoulders shrinking in defeat.

But you knew that he had already seen your face, heard you speak. There was no point in hiding yourself from one stranger if he could already identify you based on this encounter. And seeing how you knew it was dark outside, the hours seeming to have slipped quickly through your fingers, and you had no means of getting out, you gave into the one and only rule you had created for yourself.

“Sir!” You called out, watching as he had almost turned his back to leave, watching as he stopped upon hearing you, “I apologize for interrupting, but,” You looked away for a second, your cheeks heating up under his heavy stare, “I seem to be lost. Would you happen to know the way out? Everything seems to twist together here, and I need to go home,” You paused and then added, “Please.” Hoping not to sound too distressed - even if you were - as you waited for him to say something.

The silence felt heavy despite the hustling happening behind you, and you wondered for a second if you had even spoken loudly enough so that he could hear you on top of all the distant shouts and music.

He seemed to search your face once more, maybe looking for signs of trickery or ill intent. But you seemed desperate, at least you know you sounded desperate, and any attempts of trying to fool him would have quickly dissipated under his scornful gaze. Heaven's grace, you thought to yourself, what must a man do for a living to hold such unwavering suspension?

“It’s alright, I’ll-”

“Follow me.” He murmured, cocking his head in the direction he was originally going as he maneuvered his way through the tight bodies, not waiting for you to give any sign of understanding as you quickly scurried after him, trying your best to not get lost in the thick of the crowd. Despite his tall frame, you doubted it’d be difficult to lose sight of somebody in such a congested area.

You kept a keen eye on the back of his hood, never losing sight of it as you managed to wrangle yourself closer to his side. He was surely not the nicest person you’d met all day, but you were thankful nonetheless for his openness to take you someplace without knowing you all that much (aside from you just bumping into him, of course).

“Thank you so much sir I was so incredibly lost and had no idea wh-”

“You’re a maid for the princess, aren’t you?”

You stopped talking, looking up at him with wide eyes, mouth half agape as you almost acted as if you hadn’t heard his words.

“Close your mouth, you’ll attract attention,” He said as he pushed past people, never meeting your shocked eyes once as he expertly moved through the thicker parts of the stalls. Once he looked down at you, seeing that you didn’t listen to what he had just said, his brows creased down the middle, “Are you deaf?” He snapped and your cheeks heated in embarrassment and you begrudgingly obliged.

“I…I don’t know how you reached such a drastic conclusion.” You said through clenched teeth, but you doubted denying anything after your so obvious reaction would help your case. Proving your thoughts right, the man only snorted, rolling his eyes.

“Don’t act daft,” His eyes keenly followed your hands, focusing on your wrist as he clicked his tongue against his teeth, a tsk following shortly after as he looked back up at you, “Gold? I doubt anything other than a servant to the princess or a concubine to a king would be able to afford such a thing. And wearing it to such a leisurely activity? I’d wager good money that you have a heftier bracelet sitting unattended at home.”

Your mouth ran dry as you paused, not believing how he was able to deduce so much in a short matter of seconds, but you guessed that his calculating look wasn’t only for suspicion. He was reading into you much more than you had initially guessed he was.

“Are you a spy?” You asked, your voice hushed though you wanted to bet a hefty amount that nobody other than him would be able to hear.

“Far from it.” He heaved a laugh, looking around every second or so, his eyes darting all over the walls as though he was in search of something. Or maybe as if something was in search of him.

“Then…what are you?”

His eyes fleeted down to you, his lips pursing as they began their curious journey.

“Never mind what I am.” He answered back, his hand wavering above your back as he veered you to the right, saving you from colliding into somebody who came barreling from somewhere you hadn’t even noticed.

“How - how can I trust you won’t harm me?” He laughed again at your naiveté-laced question.

“Had I planned on harming you, I would have done so already,” He made a sharp left turn, “I apologize to be the one to tell you this, but you mustn't be the princess's favorite maid.”

Your brows furrowed, your lip turning downward as you asked him why. There was no point in pretending, or at least to some degree, if he was so willing and correct in reading you.

“Sending you away without any form of security is a clear indication.”

You huffed, looking elsewhere even though he seemed victorious in his statement.

“Stay safe, m’lady.” He said finally, giving you a nod as you stammered to get your thoughts collected.

And you would have pressed him further on how he had such a quick wit, on who exactly he was, and how he had managed to decipher you faster than anybody you had met in your lifetime, but he had brought you to the opening of the bazaar. And before you could even thank the stranger for leading you here, let alone question him on anything else, he had managed to slip back into the crowd. His brown cloak mixed in with everybody else, and no matter how hard you craned your neck, it was as though you were searching for a lost shell in the ocean.

—

“Y/n!”

Damn it.

You winced at the shrill shriek as you felt your entire body tense up at the sound. You were so close, too. Just a couple feet in front of those double doors and you would have been safely shielded away from the wandering eyes of the palace.

“...Yes?” You slowly said as you turned around, scurrying off to take your robes off, the royal garments underneath beginning to bleed through as you tried to hide the evidence behind your back, but to no avail.

Roshanak, though she was far cry from her namesake, trotted up to you, snatching the tattered clothes out of your hands as her nose flared.

Her face was red, beet red, as she looked back at you, seething. Her dark brown curls were tucked away under a loose scarf, peeking through as they fell into her face. Although her eyes were usually calm, warm in tone, and relaxing to look into, they looked almost molten right now. The crow's feet at the corner of her eyes tugged upwards as she raised her eyebrows.

The rose petal she had patted across her lips and cheeks in the morning was almost gone now, but the little bit remaining seemed to only add more color to her already heating face. Had this not been a recurring thing you would have been terrified, but, alas, you only looked away in vexation.

“You were out. Again.” It wasn’t a question more than a statement.

You nodded slowly, angry at yourself that you got caught, clutching your hands together as you felt your head sink in regret. No matter how many times you ventured out of the palace walls, they always seemed to come back to find you, hiding you away when you were fingertips away from knowing the true world. A real shame, you always told yourself, to have land dedicated to your family, yet never know what it truly holds.

“Y/n…why?” Had she not taken care of you for the twenty years she had, you would have guessed she was your mother. She could have acted the part. That you were sure of. You opened your mouth to speak, but she didn’t even give you a chance to explain yourself. Though,  it’s not like your reasoning had changed all that much.

“The last time - okay - I forgave you. And the time before that, too! But you are pushing the limits, Y/n. You cannot keep expecting me to keep this a secret forever, can you?” Which directly translated to: you can’t expect your father to not find out, right?

“Roshanak-”

“No,” She cut you off, shaking her head as she held onto your cloak tightly, wrinkles forming in their presence as she shakes her head fiercely, her brown eyes scorching unlike never before as she raises a finger to pause you, “No more guilt tripping me. I am only so much of a person to be taken advantage of.”

“But-”

“No! You listen to me,” She snapped, “This is a dangerous game you’re playing. Sneaking out? Without notifying anybody? How can I know you’ll come back? How should I report to your father that his daughter has slipped out and is now missing? On my watch? And what if somebody saw you and recognized you -  then what do I do?”

“I-”

“Quiet!” You shrunk at her curt and furious yell, sore fire burning in your eyes, shaming its way across your face as you tried not to yell. A proper woman never yelled. Never in the middle of a hallway, at least, “God help me,” She muttered, her eyes looking up like she was trying to find Him within the ceiling, “Y/n, what will I do with you? All these years for nothing? How am I supposed to make you ready to be wed when-”

“I don’t want to be wed!”

Roshanak almost dramatically gasped, looking wildly around, hoping that nobody had heard your outburst, she went to snap back again but you didn’t let her, “I hope, Roshanak, I pray that every time I go out, that every time I leave this godforsaken place, that somebody recognizes me-”

“Y/n, stop this-” She tried to warn you but you continued.

“That they know me and they hate me. So that if they do something, if they hurt me, kill me-”

“Y/n!” She yelled, no longer caring about how loud she was because you didn’t seem to care either.

“That at least I wouldn’t be shamed to my grave for doing it myself!”

She choked out a cough, her eyes wide as your lips trembled, your chest heaving up and down as you tried to control yourself after your outburst. Your cheeks were wet with tears, gods, you weren’t ever going to get out of that habit, were you? And your hands were shaking, and it seemed like your lungs were contracting up and down, up and down. It wasn’t the first time you had planned on saying these exact words, but damn you, this was the first time you said it out loud.

What had set you off? You wondered aimlessly to yourself. Had it been the awful morning full of your father listing off potential suitors? The way the stranger at the bazaar had completely seen right through you, or the insurance of the people around you on pretending as though you no longer were a person but a mere vessel for carrying out their decade-old plans?

“Y/n! Roshanak!” A third party interrupted the heavy air that sat in the middle of your two bodies, cutting through everything that was left unsaid as both of your attention went to something at the end of the hall. Roshanak gave you a single look, one that simply told you that she was undoubtedly not done with the conversation, as she turned to give her customary bows to the king. You quickly made do with wiping at your cheeks hiding any remnants of what had just perspired from the awaiting eyes that were soon to come as you wiped at your nose with the bottom of your sleeve.

“Shāhanshāh,” She muttered the words of respect to the king, bowing her head down so low to the ground that you wondered if her lips were brushing upon the cold stone.

“Baba,” You said through clenched teeth, your own complimentary greeting to the king as he gave you a warm smile. If only he knew what you were screaming about moments ago, that smile on his lips would surely have fallen by now.

“Y/n,” He said adoringly, his beard bristling upwards as his smile grew upon seeing your face, “I have exciting news. You will - Roshanak,” He paused, his eyes falling upon her clenched fist, “What is that you have in your hands?”

If she was startled, she did well at hiding it.

“Oh…just some tattered clothes one of my girls didn’t need anymore. I was just about to throw it away. My king,” She gave him a swift nod, and you felt your heart rate slow down a bit at her lie, thankful that she was still aware enough not to tell him the truth right now, “Princess.” She gave you one too, her eyes never leaving yours as she swiftly left, leaving you and your father alone to have some privacy.

He smiled warmly, giving her a nod in return as her figure retreated from view, her pattering footsteps no longer echoing across the walls as your father turned back to you, his kingly robes fallen behind him in a cascade of beautiful crimson as his smile grew once again.

“As I was saying, you will be having some new company.”

You felt your eyes squint in confusion, lips curling to the sides as you began profusely shaking your head. Gods, not another suitor, please, anything but another prince ready to pounce on you.

“But Baba,” You tried to keep the wavering of your voice to a minimum, knowing that after this long day it sounded anything but confident, “I don’t need new company. I have Roshanak and the girls, they fill up my time plenty. And I’m still deciding between the Prince of Tehran and the Crown Prince of Persepolis. I…” He held up a hand, cutting your rambling off with a knowing grin. Had you not known any better he looked more like a bazaar salesman rather than a king - too jovial for the position.

“It’s not a new servant - nor a swain, collect yourself.” He snapped at you, his voice commanding and suddenly mirroring a king’s rather than a father's.

“I’ve noticed that some tension has been building up between some cities near us, nothing to worry about,” He assured but tensions between cities were always something you worried about, “But I felt as though there is a significant lack of guards in the palace, at least, guards that serve to protect you.” He grinned, already trying to get you to see where he was going but all you were getting at was bewilderment.

“And this means…?”

“That you will be having your own guard now. Not one that stands outside our door, but one who accompanies you wherever you go.”

If there was a prize for having the worst way of delivering news, your father would surely have won it a couple of years ago.

“I,” You paused, rubbing your aching forehead as you practically felt an aching forming, “Baba, this isn’t the most promising idea-”

“Of course it is!” He clamored, clasping his hands together as his rings clinked together, “You need protection in this growing political climate. And anyway, I’ve only picked the best of the best. In fact,” He looked behind him, but you already felt as though you knew where this was starting to lead to, “He’s here-”

“He’s here?” You exclaimed, trying to keep your whisper-yell down to a minimum but you didn’t know how much the echo traveled.

“Yes, azizam, he’s here. Katsuki,” He yelled out, the shout bouncing off the high arches as you winced at the volume, “Come out!”

Before you could even disagree with this idea, that you were only wearing your simple robes and not made up for company, you could hear the loud thumps of leather shoes upon stone, clothes ruffling together as a shadow began to form of the man who your father seemed more than enthusiastic to show off to you. Almost as if he had just won an irreplaceable accolade for his daughter.

You couldn’t conceal the little cough of shock you let out when the man came into view, your father sending you a confused glance as you apologized under your breath, covering your mouth with your hands as you felt the blood drain from your face.

The man, the very one you had seen in the bazaar, was just a few feet in front of you.

He looked much different, though. Those robes had been ditched and instead, the bright red of the palace colors shined bright on his tunic. His hair was completely out, and you could see how it resembled the color of hay and straw. His frame, which had seemed so intimidating before, was clear to you now; tall and slender yet muscular, something that all knights should be. You could tell easily that his long legs allowed him to be agile when he wanted to, but his sturdy arms were perfect for carrying a weapon. You could even notice how his sword was tucked away in the sheathe, but it was noticeable, it should have been. Everything about him reeked of contained power, and you wondered how such changes could have altered his appearance so much.  

And though he tried to hide his stupefaction, agreeably better than you had, nothing could have concealed the way his eyes widened momentarily, blazing a bright red as the gold bracelet he had mistakenly identified as a simple token for a maid shined brightly in the flickering candlelight from the hallway.

“He’s ranked the highest-ranking soldier in our military. I’ve seen him in action, too,” Your father slapped his back in a proud gesture, “And I’ve spent time with him to know that he’s a suitable man for protecting you.”

You’d heard of him, how could you not have? Every story and rumor that seemed to slip from the noble mouths were either of the scandalous escapades of people ranked in your circle, or of the young knight who seemed to have stumped the Greek army with a single slash of his sword. The Greeks called him the rival of Achilles, a man who wielded the bow and arrow better than Apollo and the soldier who slain an entire army. The people around you just referred to him as the Savior of Persia.

“You're too kind, my liege.” He muttered in thanks, his cheeks glowing a dusted pink as he continued to bow down out of respect.

You swallowed thickly, watching as the man held his head down in respect. But you could see that his gaze flickered to yours, his brows scrunched up so that there were three lines down the middle as he put the pieces quickly together.

“Princess,” He bid his respectful greetings, despite the fact that you two had already met hours ago. His low voice rattled deep inside your head, and you could only pray that he was a man that kept quiet, on top of all his other achievements.

You watched as he reached for your hand, his larger ones almost enveloping yours. His fingers were large yet gentle as they held your hand, the calluses on your palm a stark comparison to the soft and manicured nails you had, a clear difference of class. And you watched as he brought it up to his lips, pressing a chaste kiss on the back of them to let it go, properly though, so that you didn’t get offended. You felt a lingering blaze where his lips had just been, and you wished you could have brought your hand up to the light to see if he had done any sort of magic to it.

Your father tensed his neck as he stared at you, waiting for you to do your own greetings as you stammered, sending him an apologetic glance as you looked at the man.

“Sir,” You ducked your down, hoping that not only would it seem more different, but it might do good in hiding the true sentiments you might have given away had you looked him dead-on, “I’m honored.”

He nodded, and your father seemed pleased with your words because his displeased look was quickly wiped off of his face as he grinned boastfully.

“The honor is all mine, princess,” The man stood up, his eyes focused on you, a thousand tales swimming behind their crimson color as he bowed his head down to you, crossing his arm over his chest, covering his heart, pledging to you, “I am here to serve and protect you. Anything you need, please let me know.”

And with that, your night shifted. No, perhaps not even that single night. After that, it seemed that your entire world began to spin in the opposite direction.

—

The palace was soon awakened from its slumber, it seemed, as it became buzzed with the news of a new knight. Especially one as venerated (and captivating) as he was. All your handmaidens could talk about for the past several weeks, more or less squeal, was how they were going to try to swoon him. But every time you snickered, knowing their little bursts of excitement were clearly heard by the man right outside your door.

And you knew you were being petty, looking away in annoyance whenever one of you girls went up to him with a dopey smile on their face, they had the opportunity to. Of course, they’d be scorned for it later, but their punishment was to do more laundry and spend less time socializing with her friends. Your liberties of choosing had been signed off for you ever since you were born, and ever since then, they’ve been growing thinner and thinner.

Your knight didn’t say a lot of things, especially not about your first interaction with each other, and for that, you were appreciative. Honestly, you could have listed off all the time you two had spoken on two hands and had some fingers remaining.

You couldn’t imagine having somebody by your side every hour of the day and talking erratically at all times. If anything, he was stoic. He didn’t say anything unless spoken to or unless absolutely necessary, and sometimes you wondered if he too was growing tired of these stone walls and the archways. There is only so much of the palace that can be seen until it all grows repetitive.

“He doesn’t talk much, does he?” Roya exclaimed, one day as she dotted roses all over your neck and wrists. You giggled at her exasperation, and with the way all the other girls seemed to, unfortunately, agree with her.

“No,” Laleh said with a heaving sigh, delicately setting the necklace down upon your neck as she angled it looking at the mirror, “He doesn’t.” She seemed to wilt at the words, her smile shrunken seeing how she was so used to men dropping at their feet for her.    

“Come on,” You said, still trying to control your laughter, patting their arms as they looked down at you, “I doubt this is the end of the world, or as you’re trying to make it out to be.” Roya let out a groan and Laleh hurriedly nodded her head in agreement with Roya’s response.

“But it is! He’s so decorated!-”

“And handsome… he is so incredibly handsome…” Laleh said dreamily as she interrupted Roya, giving her an apologetic smile as she continued.

“He can protect and fight -  I’ve heard he’s the best fighter in all of Persia. They say that his strength rivals Darius, maybe even stronger. And he can read incredibly well too; all the tales of the Shahnameh, he’s had them all memorized! Y/n, he’s better than any of the princes and nobles this land has to offer. Having him as a suitor, well, having him as a suitor would only be but the best thing to happen to a woman- '' She droned off as she saw your smile fall a bit, “Well, a woman of our status. You, however, my princess, deserve a prince!” Though she was quick to recover, it didn’t cover the fact that she was right.

“Yes…a prince.” You muttered, spitting the last word out as you balanced your chin on the palm of your hand and dejectedly sulked. The last one you had seen, merely a week ago, had been insistent on seeing you dance for him. He was turned away immediately. And the one before him had tried to sneak his hand up your skirt, but Katsuki had quickly slapped his hand away, giving the man a welt and a large bruise that set him weeping the entire horse ride home.

It seemed that once a man was bestowed the title of prince he no longer remembered what it was like to act human. As if every normal thing he had done once before was cast away and his only intention in life was now to torment women into marrying him.  

“Maybe this one’s better!” Laleh said, trying to cheer you up as she angrily swatted at Roya’s arm.

Yes, maybe this one was better. But given your luck these past few months, the man you were going to meet today was anything but a man. Maybe even worse.

“Yes, in fact, last night I prayed that he would be!” Roya said, and although it might not have been taken as a joke, it did its part in making you smile a bit, giving them both a weak and pitiful laugh as you secured the bracelet around your wrists.

Laleh finished the remaining bits of your dress, tightening up the back as she dusted it off, careful that the ruby color shined at any angle, that you looked radiating at any possible angle.

You eyed the window, the sun right in the middle of the horizon, a sign of noon. You gave them both a thankful smile, one that didn’t quite meet your gaze as you patted them both on the shoulders.

“Khoshgelam,” Beautiful, Roya muttered with pride, giving you a tender smile as you ducked your head down in embarrassment, never used to the kind words they muttered before you were sent in to meet a prince, knowing that some of them were really only to help you get through the day.

“Tashakor,” Thank you, “Roya, Laleh.” You gave them each a small nod, “And perhaps you are correct, maybe this one is better than all the ones before.” They both nodded with excitement, something that will surely be ruined in a couple of hours for now as they led you to the door, opening it for you as you gave their hands a tight squeeze.

You were met with the big back of the guard, watching as he turned around at the noise, his eyes falling upon yours as the two girls behind you practically swooned once again. He was gorgeous.

“Princess, are you ready?” He grunted out and you nodded, giving the two girls your final look of desperation as they waved you off, watching as your two figures retreated in the dark hallway, your footsteps dimming down until they could no longer see you.

The two of you walked in silence, just as you had always done, as you stared at your hands. It was exhausting to have to find somebody who was humanly decent. Everybody you had met so far was horrible, and though you were trying your best to be optimistic, the rumors surrounding the man you were about to meet were only adding more to your growing trepidation.

The man beside you never said a word, and you didn’t expect him to. But right now, you knew that if there was somebody who knew at least something more than just gossip about this potential suitor, it would be Katsuki.

“You know Saum, no?”

It had been the first time you had asked him a question, especially so randomly, and he almost stopped as he tried to understand what had just happened. You hadn’t uttered more than a couple of words to him these past few weeks he had been serving you, so this question you had asked so suddenly made him almost think he had gone insane. But looking down at you to find your curious eyes searching for him, he cleared his throat, getting ready to respond.

“I know of him, princess.” He said gruffly and you nodded weakly, your eyes never leaving the end of the hallway, your dress dragging behind you as you tried to calm your breathing down. You could only do this routine so many times before it mentally got to you.

“What do you know of him?” You questioned, looking up at his face to see in momentarily scrunch up he could have seen the horror that flashed across your eyes at his questionable reaction because he was quick to regain his composure.

“He’s a naval officer.” He said, which is something that you already knew. You scoffed in mock annoyance, rolling your eyes as you shook your head, dissatisfied with his bleak answer.

“Anything else?” You pressed, watching as he scratched his chin, obviously trying to hold back on saying something.

“That’s all I know of, princess.”

You rolled your eyes again, huffing as you realized you could never get anywhere with this man. He always referred to you by your title, gave responses no longer than ten words long, and filled the awkward silence with his even quieter demeanor.

“You’re lying to me.”

He paused, his eyes wide with shock as his mouth parted and he closed it.  

“I would never lie to you, princess.” He retaliated quickly, and had he not been the towering brute that he is, you would have thought the reaction had come from a child who was indeed caught in the act of lying.

“Then why do you try to hide something? You must surely know something about him to not be saying anything.” He knew he was horrible at hiding the truth, he was raised to always be transparent.

“I,” He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he sucked on his bottom lip, debating whether or not to continue this conversation. But one look at the pleading look that was laced all over your features and he gave in, knowing that you were desperate after so many failed attempts with the failures that had the nerve to call themselves a prince, “I’ve only heard stories, princess, and I don’t know which ones hold more truth.” He paused.

“Which is…?”

The knight sighed once more, showing more emotion than you’ve ever seen him display as he looked away, anywhere but your awaiting eyes that held so much worry and fright that it reminded him of a lamb being sent to slaughter.

“It’s merely a rumor, princess, so don’t base your judgment on him simply on my words. But,” He winced, his hard gaze breaking for a second as he breathed heavily out his nose, “I had overheard some of my men talking a while ago that he’s an arrogant prince, but,” He looked down for a second before he looked back up at you, a ghost of a smile on his face as you felt yourself ease a little bit at the strangely welcoming sight, “I doubt there has ever been a humble prince.”

You laughed softly, the sound was something that made his barely visible smile grow even more. The tension he could easily see in your shoulders lessened just a tad bit. You said nothing as you waited for him to continue.

“He’s a womanizer, or at least he tries to be,” You giggled at that too, something you were quite used to at this point, “And according to whispers, he doesn’t have the best table manners.”

You pretended to be shocked, even letting out a dramatic gasp as you covered up your mouth.

“He’s sloppy?”

“Disgustingly so, I’m afraid.”

Your smile grew even more at his words, a loud and unlikely laugh falling from your lips as even you seemed shocked at your unexpected outburst. Your fingers stopped their anxious tapping on your forearms as you felt the tension that had been prickling its way through your chest stop, the fear that you had felt these past few hours diminishing as the knight beside you chuckled deeply.

“I feared that might be the case,” You confessed to him, “Thank you, though,” You said as you looked up at him, meeting his gaze as you cracked a little grin, “You've been the first to openly tell me that.” He gave you a small nod in return, pausing as you stopped in front of the large double doors, where the prince was waiting just behind them.

You took a deep breath, feeling as though some of that dread was starting to come back.

“Must I go?” You stalled, your hands lingering above the wood of the door as you glanced over at him. In these three minutes you had been able to talk to him more than you had in the past weeks you had known him, and strangely so, he had been able to tell you more about the man you were about to meet than anybody else had in that short amount of time.

“Yes, princess.” He told you and you scoffed in pity for yourself, tracing the delicate patterns etched into the wood as he spoke again.

“Don’t fret too much about him however, he’s not as strong as he boasts he is. And… princess?” He called out, his voice a little louder so that it caught your attention before you entered the dining hall, “If anything were to happen, I am there to serve you.”

And though it was in his duty, something he was sworn in to say to you, that was the first time in your twenty years of living that you had actually felt safe. Call it guilelessness or the fake hope you held that somebody truly seemed to care, but that was the day that you acknowledged that your father, for once in his life, had made a good decision in making him your knight.

—-

It seemed that after that night (and no, Saum indeed was not the perfect match), the distance between you and Katsuki had significantly shortened. And while it was still difficult to get him to open up and talk, it seemed that the more you pressed him about random topics the more lenient he got with you.

This change was so apparent, even, that others started to notice too. You could pick up on the servants and their loud whispers whenever you and Katsuki would be walking around the hallways - him accompanying you to make sure you didn’t try to do anything outlandish - and gossiped about the way you two stood significantly closer to each other than was deemed socially appropriate.

And sure, maybe they were right in some aspects. For one, you don’t know why a part of you ignited in unknown flames when you saw him smiling the smile he only reserved for you when he talked to a maid you had never seen before, that was something that even you knew was wrong to feel. And you couldn’t forget the time, no matter how much you ached when you saw him whispering sweet nothings into the ear of another girl, his eyes falling upon yours as he quickly moved away from her, his cheeks dusted in a deep pink as he apologized profusely. You hate how you reveled in your pathetic glory when he came up to you afterward, steering you away from the scene with a hand barely apparent on your back, profusely apologizing for acting so unprofessional.

So, you let them gossip. You could have shut it down sooner, but in all honesty, you liked what they had to say. Sometimes, when they spoke of him, you couldn’t help but wonder if their words for once held any truth. Did he actually stare longingly at you whenever there was a feast, watching with fire in his eyes when a prince or nobleman tried to woo you into a conversation? No, surely not. And did he only laugh full heartedly when he was with you, a sight nobody else had the grave of seeing? No, no, of course not. Surely you couldn’t be that funny.

“‘Suki,” You said one day, the name you had now given him freely flowing off your tongue as you two walked in the rose garden, “I have a request.”

He ducked his head down, the sun making his hair almost seem like gold as he walked with his hands behind his back. This is where you thought him to be the most regal, his most beautiful state of being. The wind flowed through his hair, the strands moving east, his face not as stiff as it usually was. The royal red tunic and trousers sat comfortably on his toned skin, hugging him in a way that made you feel terrible for lusting after it as much as you did. In this carefree environment, he no longer embedded a knight, but a person who you could look up to as a friend.

“Anything for you, princess.”

You sighed in fake irritation at the title, telling him many times to just refer to you as everybody else in your inner circle did, but he always stuck to the formalities. You understood why he didn’t want to cross over any lines, but it made getting to know him better that much more difficult.

“Take me to the bazaar.”

“Ah, that, princess,” He grunted, giving you a stern and unwavering look, “I cannot do.”

“But you said anything!” You clamored, your voice still not loud to raise attention, as a pout formed on your lips as you huffed again, your arms crossing across your chest as you continued to walk. You let your left hand glide across the flowers, delicate as to not harm any of the petals.

“Princess,” He tried to bargain, handsome face pulled into a set frown as he tried to get you to look at him, “The bazaar is too perilous of risk to take. I can never plan a single thing when I have no idea who or what I’m going to endure.”

Your frown grew at his words, even though you knew what he was trying to say, and stopped at the pomegranate tree as he stopped with you, his sword thumping against his thigh as his shadow cascaded over the red fruit.

“But I’ve been there before….” You miserably muttered, hearing him let out a snort as he crossed his arms across his chest, shaking his head at the thought.

“And I don't know how you never got caught,” He admitted, trying to sound tough and rigid but a little chuckle escaped his lips, “It’s a great deal of danger if you put yourself in, princess; going there with no guards, telling nobody where you were.”

You plucked a ripe pomegranate off, holding it up in the sun as you took in its deep crimson shade, turning it around as you felt its smooth texture underneath your fingers. It was a favorite of yours, and you had requested a while ago to have a whole section of the gardens dedicated to the fruit.

You dug your thumbs into it, groaning a little as you tried to crack it open but to no avail. Wordlessly, he extended his hand out to you, a noiseless exchange as you placed the pomegranate in his hands, turning around to watch him as he snapped it open with no difficulty, no strain seen on his face as he held the two halves back out to you.

The ruby seeds glistened, and you plucked a few out, munching on them as the crunch of the seeds filled the silence.

“Tashakor,” You muttered with your mouth full of the fruit, smiling a little bit at the tart and sweet taste of them. He gave you a small nod, eyeing the fruit as your fingers became stained with the red juice of the pomegranate, walking alongside you as you carelessly ate.

“Would you like some?” You offered, holding out the half you hadn't touched yet as he quickly shook his head with târof, the complimentary way of refusing something out of politeness. You smile to yourself at his little action.

“Oh, come on, it’s good. Really good.” You obliged, holding it out further to him as you waved the half around, trying to tempt him. Although he was a man of honor and sound reason, refusing something from a royal more than once was unforeseen and rather unsophisticated. So he sighed, giving up as he gently plucked the fruit out of your hand, muttering a quiet thanks as your smile grew wider.

“Is it to your liking?” You said, your words muffled as you tried not to talk and chew at the same time.

“Extraordinarily so.” He said, chewing thoughtfully as his lips became stained red the more he ate. You tried to look away as you felt your cheeks heating up at the sight.

“So…‘Suki,” You said, your elbows purposely bumping into him as you smiled a little bit to yourself, the cool breeze of the upcoming winter biting eagerly at your skin. You swallowed a couple of seeds as you looked at him, “No bazaar?”

“No bazaar.” He repeated, though his focus was intently on getting a couple of the ruby seeds out.

“And no hunting?”

He grunted out a coarse laugh, his face looking nonchalant as he shook his head again.

“I wasn’t aware you were appreciative of the sport.” He notes, glancing over at you as you shrugged, your fingers mindlessly running across the bumpy seeds as you let out a longing sigh.

“I’m appreciative of anything that gets me out of here.” The words tumbled out of your mouth, your eyes drooping a bit as your steps became slower. The times you spent in the gardens, depressingly so, was the only excitement you seemed to have in your day.

His smile fell at your statement, watching the way you seemed to shrink in on yourself.

He was good at noticing things, it was something he took pride in. But by the time he had gotten to know you, the princess who lived the lavish life everybody told him about, only seemed to be a myth. Sure, your bed was warm and your maids ready at your beck and call, but behind the jewels and glamor of royal life, your face held a different story. Early on, he took note of the way your smile never reached your eyes. Your laugh never reached more than an octave in pitch, and you always seemed to be wary of the people around you. Everything you did seemed to be done as if walking on eggshells, and if this was the life everybody said was perfection, he didn’t see any point in wanting to live in it.

Which is why, after a couple of interactions, he felt a part of him soften when it came to you. You were thoughtful in places most people would have grown senseless. You never lost your humanity, nor your compassion when it came to both people you knew and strangers you’ve never met. He observed silently how you would talk to people, your voice laced with care as you gave them every bit of attention. He notices how you’d always save a plate full of traits for him, always managing to find where he was, no matter how dense the crowd of people was, as you delivered it to him with a smile, stating; “you looked grumpy, though this might help.”

“As much as I’d like to take you hunting over the bazaar, I doubt your father would be too fond of the idea,” Katsuki admitted solemnly and you nodded bitterly in agreement, stopping in your tracks as you continued to look forward.

You took in a deep breath, your hands clasped together as a troubled look seemed to overtake your features. He waited patiently for you to gather your thoughts, not saying anything as you gnawed on your bottom lip, seemingly going back and forth between a thousand ideas all at once.

“Katsuki…?” Your voice was faint, barely there, almost swept away by the breeze as you stopped, not saying anything else. You let the seconds tick by until you heard him let out a deep hum, the sound acknowledging that he had heard you.

There were only so many times you called him by his first name: in front of others, an intimidation tactic used to scare a potential suitor, or when you were so timid to talk that you needed to ground yourself down by conceding mainly to yourself that he was there beside you.

“What if I,” You paused again, swallowing your words as you glanced over at him, your eyes quickly fleeting away under his heavy gaze as your fingers gripped tightly onto the fabric of your skirt, the silk wrinkling under your ministrations as your lips trembled, “What would you do if I ran away?”

He could feel his stomach churn uncomfortably at your words, his brows creasing and eyes squinting in your direction as you refused to look him in the eyes. You were notorious for asking spontaneous questions, questions that had nothing to do with a conversation, but he’d be a fool if he disregarded this as just one of your usual queries.

“Then I’d come to find you, princess.” It wasn’t a warning, nor was it something he said to try and scare you. It was the bare truth and something that the two of you knew was something he’d never rest until he fulfilled it.  

“You wouldn’t help me?” You questioned, your words soft and fragile as you searched for anything in his gaze that gave away from his usual, stoic expression.

“I’m here to serve and protect you, princess, not to aid you in doing such a thing.”

Your hopeful expression fell, turning cold and void as you scoffed, hating yourself for thinking that he’d ever agree to such a thing. He was a knight before anything else, not a friend and most certainly not a caring companion. Gods, you were so foolish to think that he’d even entertain the idea. Why would he? Everything he’s been put to do was to go against that very idea. No matter how much he may have cared about you as a person didn’t expel him from allowing you to do that.

No matter how much you pretended that underneath all his cold exterior was a person who cared, you knew that deep down, he was a man of honor and of valor. And caring for people beyond necessity was something he wasn’t made to do.

And, to a high degree, you knew you were being petty. Maybe even obnoxious as you stormed off. But was it so wishful to hope that you had finally made a friend? Someone who you could trust enough to help you escape a life you wished you had never been into? Maybe so, but you were always the dreamer and you never knew when to stop.

“Right, right,” You mumbled, shaking your head as you hurried away, hearing his footsteps behind you as he tried to match your pace, “Stupid, stupid, why would he? Of course not,” You said to yourself, throwing the empty pomegranate shell on the soil as you turned over to look at him, putting on a fake smile that both of you knew was empty as you told him; “Please don’t mention what I told you to anybody else. And…please don’t come after me. I pray you have enough confidence in me to know that I’d be able to find the way to my room by myself.”

“But princess-” He started but you shook your head, already turning around as you scoff angrily to yourself, more in annoyance than anything else,

“If only he didn’t steer a ship on top of everything else he could do - then I’d sail my way out of this miserable place.”

—-

Late when the months turned frigid and white littered the ground, you decided that with help or no help, you were going to leave. You didn’t know if you wanted to go north or south, where was the most suitable option for you, all you knew was that you needed out.

It stung a part of you, a part that you didn’t want to admit was there, at his blatant rejection of your proposal. You had hoped that some part of him was open to the idea, that maybe after seeing what the real treatment was like behind these palace walls he’d bend a little bit more to your wishful thinking, but you knew that being hung up on the idea would only hinder you more.

You decided early on in your plan that there was only one night you could do it, shab-e yaldā,  the night of the winter solstice. It was extraordinarily risky, you knew that. The palace was going to be swarming with guests, all celebrating the longest night of the year, but you knew that this prolonged night of darkness would be the only one that would hide you enough from the prying eyes of the outside world longer than any other night could.  

Weeks leading up to your makeshift plan, you began to take things you decided you would need in your journey. Cold clothes that would protect you against the harsh winters the north held, gold coins that were acceptable anywhere, and food that wasn’t perishable in a few weeks' time. You stuffed them all in a saddle bag you had managed to find in the stable once, one that was large enough to hold all of the things you needed, and did well in hiding it whenever Roya or Laleh came into your room.

You tried to distance yourself from Katsuki as much as possible, only speaking to him when necessary, avoiding any attempts he made at conversation with a curt Sorry, I’m late to my meeting with the prince, or some other pathetic lie to steer away from him. You knew deep down that what you were doing was unfair to him, after all, he was only proving to do his job, but you couldn’t help that vine of anger tangle around your heart and mind until it told you directly what to do.

He seemed to get the memorandum after some time, no longer attempting to make jokes to bring a smile to your face, and not letting his hand linger on your back or arm whenever he tried to steer you towards or away from something. And you were fine with that, more than fine, it was only going to sting less when you left, knowing you’d most likely never be able to see him again. You’d take the hurt now rather than have it wrangle your mind for years to come.

So, when the longest night of winter came, you were ready for any and all problems that were going to come your way.

You let Laleh and Roya do your makeup and get you prepared as they usually would, not wanting to startle them and say you’d do it yourself. You had mapped out what hallways and exits to take, and places that had the least amount of people and guards. You had written a note that you’d be putting on your bed, explaining what you had done in brief detail and that if they were to send anybody, they’d never be able to find you (in hindsight).

You told the two girls to leave, that you had a couple of things you needed to finish before you came down. You made them promise you that they’d tell Katsuki not to lead you to the dining hall, that you’d be wanting to walk unaccompanied. If they had any questions, they didn’t voice them.

The music was already beginning to drift upwards to your room, the loud shouts and laughter from visitors all over the land creating an ambiance that you knew you were going to miss. But you shook your head at the thought, not wanting to go off track when you were so close to freedom.

You quickly got out of the dress they had so carefully put you into, hanging it up as you scrub at your face with water, taking any remnants of makeup off as you tried to look as inconspicuous as possible. Your mind wandered off, without you knowing it, to the first time you had unknowingly met Katsuki and what he had told you. How he had so expertly pointed out your gold bracelet and had been able to set you apart from everybody else in the bazaar. So you did well in taking any and all of your jewelry off, shedding anything that had to do with your royal title, and leaving them off at your nightstand.

Everything seemed to be going smoothly, your bag was packed to the brim, and you had found a robe and shawl that did an excellent job of hiding your face. You glanced one last time at your room, the only place you really knew, and felt like it was now or never. So with your hand on the doorknob turning it down and getting ready to leave, you did so with a determined look on your face.

That was until you realized that your knight was there waiting for you.

The air seemed to pause as the two of you stared at each other. The only thing you could hear was the rapidness in which you breathed, how you felt like everything was slowly falling down on you as you felt the tears slowly making their way to your eyes.

The two of you paused, your heart falling straight to the ground, melting into the cold stone as your eyes widened. Katsuki tried to hide the look of confusion on his face, noting your strange attire and the bag on your back as he swallowed, his eyes squinting in confusion as he tilted his head to the side. Curse him, you thought to yourself, curse him and his loyalty, curse him for looking the way he did, his soft lips pulled into a worried frown, his eyes holding onto yours as if he couldn’t let go, curse him for caring the way that he did.

“Where are you…?” He trailed off, his red eyes widening as, just like always, he began to quickly put the pieces together.

You knew you could have run, the was an opening between the two of you, but you also knew it was stupid because he could have easily caught you in a matter of seconds. So instead of bolting, which is what you so desperately wanted to do, you fell back into your room, your hands shaking as your knees gave out from behind you, your back hitting the wall as you sunk all the way down to the floor, cradling your knees into your chest as you wept.

The door was quickly shut and you heard the typical thump of his footsteps, but you didn’t have the energy to look up to see the irate and aggrieved look on his familiar face.

“Please, princess, don’t cry,” You heard a muted thud as he fell to his knees in front of you, his voice laced with clear, unrivaled panic as he tried to figure out what was wrong, why you looked so defeated, a sight unlike anything he had ever seen before, “Please, Y/n, tell me what I’ve done wrong - what can I do to help?”

And you don’t know what it was if it had been his words or the way you had missed him so terribly that made you cry even more, your tears running rampant you hid your face in the crook of your elbow to save the last shred of dignity you had.

He had to have known by now; the empty feel of your room, the packed bag on your bag, the dirty robe you were wearing. He knew, but he didn’t mention it. He let his hands waver above your elbows, fearing that if he set them down you’d crack, even more, not wanting to do anything to hurt you as he tried to coax you to just look at him.

“Come on Y/n, please, look up, tell me what I need to do.” He begged, his voice was unlike anything you had ever heard from him before.

You need to let me leave, you wanted to plead, please let me go and never mention it to anybody else.

Slowly, you felt the warmth of his hand grip your elbow, gradually moving up as his fingers tried to find your face, wet with tears, as he gingerly cupped your cheeks, pulling you upwards so that he could finally see you again.

You obliged, knowing you couldn’t fight him for long, especially in your state, and you were met with his gentle smile, the one that always made you melt at the sight. Right now, you just sniffle, your eyes red, maybe even redder than his as you cried.

“Hi sweetheart,” He whispered, his thumb running across your cheek, catching a cheer as he cradled the back of your head, gentle in his movements as he tried to rearrange his sitting in a more comfortable position, “Please…please don’t cry,” His eyes followed the tears tracks burned into your skin, “Tell me how I can help, what do I need to do to make it better?”

You scoffed, a wet and emotionless laugh bubbling out of your throat as you wiped away at your nose, looking to the side to avoid his searing gaze. It was treacherous in trying to avoid him for as long as you had, and you knew that if you were to give in to how you truly felt, you couldn’t push him away any longer. And you knew that by doing so you were only digging a deeper hole for yourself.

“Y/n,” Your name sounded so sweet on his tongue, so fragile and delicate, unlike anybody had said it ever before, “Aziz, please, look at me.”

And you looked back up at him from underneath your lashes, your lips trembling as you tried your best to hold back sobs, little hiccups escaping your lips as his thumb ran up and down your cheek, cradling your jaw with the most care in the world. As if you were a shooting star and he never wanted to let you go again.

“I want to g-go,” You choked out the words, fresh tears sporting from your eyes as you motioned your head to the window behind him, the moon peeking out from the caliginosity night, “I want to leave.”

He nodded, heaving out a heavy sigh because he knew that was what you were going to say.

“I know azizam, I know,” He was going to say something else but he stopped, pausing as he carefully cradled your head in his large palm, “I know you do.” He whispered out into the dark room, another faint cry escaping your lips as you nodded along with him.

“Katsuki,” You muttered, and he sat up straighter, his heart beating so incredibly fast in the limited space of his ribcage that he felt as though it was going to fall out at the small mention of the nickname you had given him so many moons ago, “‘Suki…please let me leave.”

He looked away, his eyes downcast as you followed his every movement.

“I wish it was as easy as you make it out to be.”

You nodded again, trying not to look pathetic as another tear rolled down your cheek. If only you knew how much his heart ached at the sight, if only you knew how he’d lasso the moon if it meant bringing a smile back up on your face.

“I know.” You whispered, your voice cracking as you let your cheek fall down onto your arms, trying not to make another sound as you cried.

He didn’t know what to say or do, because deep now he knew that the only thing that would make you happy in this world was to let you leave, to let you live a life not controlled by others who only pretended to care. So he did the next thing he thought was best, digging out something from his pocket as he balanced himself on his ankles, holding it up to the dim light of the candles so you could see it better.

“Here,” He muttered quietly, placing the bracelet back down on your hands, “I saw it at the bazaar this morning and I thought you’d like it.”

You whimpered at his words, looking down at the bracelet to find little rubies, the color of the pomegranate seeds you adored so much, carefully placed alongside other precious jewels, the shine of the gold, and the feel of it heavy in your hands. You looked back up at him, your eyes wide and shimmering as he stammered to explain himself.

How was his compassion so immeasurable? How could he act as if the cruel distance you had put between the two of you was fake (because it was), but who could he move past it? Was it the hardened exterior from years of war that did it to him? Or was he a dreamer, like you, who imagined things a different way than they actually were?

“I can’t just let you leave, it’s a dangerous and cruel world, and even more dangerous for someone who doesn’t know how to navigate it. But if you’d like, tell me the things you want to see, the things you’d want to do. I can go to the bazaar to get you jewelry or fabrics, or I can go to Shiraz to get you their oranges and to Tehran to get their anar…” pomegranates, “Anything you want and I’d get it for you.”

A small smile made its way onto your face at his insistent rambling, the way he held you as if you were going to fly away from his hands.

“Thank you,” You sniffled again, breathing a little lighter as you glanced at him, “It’s gorgeous. B-but you know that I can’t take this Katsuki, it’d be rude of me to do so. It must have cost you a fortune…” You tried to shove it back into his chest but he pushed it forward to you, shaking his head as he refused to take it.

“For you, I’d give you the moon and stars if it meant making you happy.” He promised sincerely, a tilt in his lips as flicked the last tear away from your face, his thumbs soft, unlikely for somebody of his stature, his words sitting heavily in the vast expanse of your heart. How could he say something like that and not feel anything? Did he know what he was doing to you?

If only he could hear the pitter patter rhythm in your heart, the way it thumped at the rhythm of his words and the way he spoke. Maybe then he’d be more gentle with your fragile self, sugar coat his words so they wouldn’t be so blatant to somebody who dreams for a living.

But you were a foolish person, always had been. You never controlled your actions, always leaving them to be rushed and uncaring of how they affected others. And you never watched what you said, speaking whatever was on your mind at any time you deemed it to be necessary. You wanted to guess that was the reason that let you to blurting out,

“Kiss me then.”

Even you seemed startled as the words tumbled out of your mouth.

“I-I’m so, so, sorry. J-just...I didn’t say that, okay?” You say hurriedly, trying to cover up the mess of words you had just said but there was no point in doing it. No amount of training nor sheer will could have hidden the shock that enveloped the young knight's face as he stared at you, slack-jawed.

He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he looked up, not knowing what to do for the first time in his life as his fists clenched. Millions of thoughts were running through his head, everything he thought he knew was being turned upside down, and he didn’t know if he was living in his best dream or his worst nightmare.

“Katsuki...?”

There was a long pause, a heavy silence sitting between the two of you as he shut his eyes as tightly as he could.

“Yes?” He bit out, and you shielded him from his fierce tone. His eyes snapped over to you and the way your expression fell and he loathed himself even more for raising his voice when you were already in such a fragile state.

He wanted to, you had no idea how much he wanted to take you here right now with no consequences. But he was a smart man, who put his brains before anything else.

How would the world react had they found out a knight, one with as much valor as he has, touched their prized princess in such a sinful way? Ruined her lips with his, made it so that the only man she wanted was him? You both knew that it was a matter of feelings because they were surely there. They'd been there ever since he guided you out of the bazaar, but an unfortunate matter of logistics. Who was to say these feelings wouldn't grow, because they would, you knew they would. All you wanted was to have him to yourself, Katsuki, only yours. And you, his to keep away from the world, the touch, and explore without any restraints. If he wanted to, he would. But it was a matter of shouldn't and couldn't.

"Katsuki...please don't be mad, I-"

But before you could finish your train of thought, you watched as he moved forward, his lips hovering breaths above yours, your noses pressed against each other as you stared at each other, each eye fleeting down to each other’s lips as you felt like your tears were quickly evaporating in the heat of the room. His hand was cradling your jaw, tilting your face upwards to meet his as a silent war seemed to rage behind his eyes.

Pomegranate seeds you used to say as you teased him those summer days, pointing out that his eyes held an uncanny resemblance. But here they looked like they were on fire, burning within as he searched yours, trying to figure out what was going on inside your enigma of a head.

You felt as though the air was stopping its flow from your lungs and out, your mind was working at a snail's pace as you tried to understand what was happening. You hated how your heart could change emotions so suddenly, you hated how even you didn’t understand what sort of riddle you could be at the time.

“Did you mean it?”

You breathed. One second passed and then another. Had the world stopped spinning? It felt like it. Nothing else could explain the rush you felt inside yourself as you slowly nodded, moving a little closer to him as your lips barely brushed past each other.

“Yes.”

He did as you asked, closing the pathetic gap between the two of you, his hand behind your neck guiding you upwards as you pressed your lips onto his.

It felt right. Like two lost parts of a separated soul had been reconnected once more.

And you knew that it should have felt like this.

After months of wondering what he’d taste like, how gentle he’d be, it just felt right. He was swift in his movements, his tongue lapping at your lips, groaning at the taste of them, the pomegranates you had earlier in the day still lingering as he tasted the salt of your tears and the tanginess of the pomegranate seeds on you.

He was careful not to pressure you, not forcing you but rather guiding you as he could tell you were inexperienced, his lips slowing down to the pace you set. Katsuki felt as though he was about to die right here, and if he did, he’d die a happy man.

You clutched desperately at his tunic, the fabric wrinkling under your tight grip as you push yourself upwards, to him, a surprised grunt escaping his chest as you wind your arms around his neck, breaking away from him as you tried to gasp for air.

“Katsuki,” You muttered, your lips brushing against his as you were thankful for his arm circling around your back for keeping you afloat, “Please - please don’t stop.”

He smiled that boyish smile that you always died for as he pecked your lips and then your cheek, shaking his head as his breath fanned against your lips.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” He circled his arms underneath your thighs, and in one swift move heaved you up, your legs mindlessly wrapping around his back as he led you toward the bed, “God’s…you have no idea what you do to me, do you?” And you shook your head, feeling him chuckle as he gently let you go, your back falling onto the soft silk sheets you were so used to as he caged you in with his sturdy arms.

“I do things to you?” You teased, your voice still wavering but better than before as he let out a little laugh in your neck, swooping down as he placed hot kisses all along your collarbone and underneath your jaw, the smug smile on your lips falling as you let out a let gasp as he nipped at your supple skin.

“You drive me insane nearly every hour of the day; I can’t spend a day without thinking about you. Had I known better, I would have accused you of witchcraft.” He mumbled hotly against the skin of your chest, his hands roaming upwards and underneath your cloak as he quickly made do at untying the knots behind your back, slipping it off with all the ease of the world.

“And if I were a witch? A haggard and wrinkle-ridden woman, then what would you do?” You were trying to keep yourself at bay, to not lose sight of your sanity as his teeth bit your soft skin, lifting your hips upwards as he slipped the skirt off of your legs, throwing it somewhere in the room, not caring where it landed as he looked back at you.

“You’d still do the things you do to me, Y/n,” He kissed your lips sweetly as his hands found purchase on your waist, “There’s nothing in this world that could change the way I feel about you.”

You could only muster a single breath, your brows scrunching up with care as your hand traveled up the expanse of his back, holding onto his cheek with all the love you had as you gave him a wet and watery grin.

“And what is that?”

He rolled his eyes, his finger gently poking at your side as a giggle bubbled out of you. The small sound of your laughter was enough to bring a wide grin to his face, his lips stretching up into his cheeks as he watched life seep back into your eyes.

“If only you knew how much I loved you,” He muttered, kissing the corners of your eyes, your smile lines, and your delicate lips as he rubbed his nose against yours, “Maybe then you’d know how much it pains me to see you so hurt.”

You pout, your fingers trudging through his hair as you twirl a blonde lock over and over, not noticing the way he practically melted into your touch.

“I don’t do it intentionally, I hope you know.” You mutter and he chuckles, shaking his head as if to agree with you.

“I know, I know,” His hands trickled upwards and upwards, nearing untouched territory as you gasped at the new sensation, not trying to cover up the little moan that slipped between your lips the moment his thumb gilded across your sensitive nipple, “But it doesn’t mean I don’t like - fuck,” He whispered into your skin, almost not believing it himself as his hands gilded across your breasts, “You’re just perfect, aren’t you?” And you could only nod, not trusting your words as he continued his ministrations.

He dipped one hand back down, hooking it under the fabric of your tunic as he pushed it upwards, your hands voluntarily sliding out as the cold winter air bit angrily at your bare, heated skin.

You wanted to cover up, your hands going to travel to hide your barren chest, something only you and your handmaidens had seen before, but his hands circled your wrist, tugging them down, slow to do it in case you were opposed to it. But you let him do it because deep down the two of you wanted this more than anything in the world.

“Beautiful,” He muttered to himself, almost as if the words just tumbled out, looking up at you with those pomegranate eyes almost as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing,  “You’re so beautiful Y/n.”

Your eyes wrangled shut, the heat traveling up into your cheeks, and you couldn’t watch without feeling your entire body ignite at the way he brought his face down towards your naked breasts, his hot breathing hitting your cold skin.

Nothing could have prepared you for when his hot tongue pressed flat against your right nipple, his finger working away at the other one, tugging and pulling as he sucked feverishly as if his life depended on it. You couldn’t help the loud moans that escaped, the way you tried to cover up your eyes in embarrassment but didn’t when he stopped, looking down at him as he sent a rather harsh bite to the skin around your breast.

“Don’t cover yourself up, wanna see what you look like when you finally let go.”

And he didn’t let you take in his words as he went back down, working on the other one, making a mess out of it as his spit shined in the pale moonlight. It was maddening the way he kissed and tugged at your nipples, sucking on them, the sound so lewd that you felt like you were burning alive.

He let his curious hands wander down, rubbing up and down your legs, behind your knees, and back up to your thighs, gingerly pinching and prodding at the skin as he tried to mark every freckle, dimple, every little scar you had to memory. You were a work of art, and he refused to let any part of you go unappreciated.

He pulled away, a string of spit connecting itself from your nipple to his red lips as he grinned up at you, an unrivaled fire in his eyes as he moved down, practically melting at the sight of your naked body.

“F-fuck, are you okay if I have a taste, please,” His nose rubbed against the top of your mound, dangerously close to the place where you were warned to never touch, someplace that was meant to be only for your husband. But you didn’t care, not when it came to Katsuki, and you feverishly nodded for him to continue.

“Need to hear you say it,” He muttered, pressing a sweet kiss to your inner thigh as he nudged his nose into your soft skin, “Come on, you can do it.”

“P-please, ‘Suki, please touch me, shit, do whatever you want I d-dont care.” You begged, your fingers pushing his head closer to your wet entrance, and he didn’t need to be told twice as he flashed you a charming smile, his face disappearing as suddenly felt your eyes cross at the sensation.

Gods help you because you had no idea how you were ever going to have been prepared for the way his tongue pushed at your walls, licking away at your juices as he groaned deeply, his eyes screwing shut as your saccharine taste, something that he couldn’t get enough of as he lapped your wetness up with even more fervor.

“O-oh fuck! ‘S-suki, please, please don’t stop!” You whined out loud, hoping with every fiber of your being that the party was loud enough to cover up your wails and moans because you knew you couldn’t keep quiet with the way his hot tongue was making its way inside you. Mapping it all out, putting it into memory which places made you scream the loudest, what part of you to prod at more to get the sweetest sounding moans.

His thumb moved upwards to find your little nub, pinching it between his two fingers as he rolled it back and forth. You nearly collapsed the moment he touched your clit, and he had to use his other hand to widen your thighs because you could barely hold yourself up anymore.

“Fuck, you taste so sweet,” He groaned into your pussy, licking one long strip as you felt yourself clench around nothing, “Sweeter than anything I’ve ever tasted. Shit,” He moaned pathetically at the way you cried for him, “Don’t think I’m ever going to be able to let you go.”

“Don’t, please, please don’t stop!” You begged for him, and his thumb moved faster, your hands pushing his head deeper into you as his nose bumped against your clit, the added sensation pushing you deeper and deeper into something you had never felt before.

It all happened so quickly, the way your stomach clenched, your walls tightening around his fingers and tongue as your back arched, your mouth open in a shameless moan as you came all over him, your chest heaving up and down in an uneven motion as you tried to calm yourself down, only able to see white as you came down from your blissful high.

When you opened your eyes back up you came to see your Katsuki smiling fondly, making haste at taking his attire off, the thick line prominent in his slacks now in front of you, and you felt your mouth dry at the sight.

“How’d that feel?” He asked, his hand coming down to prop up your head, his chin glistening with your release as you give him a mindless smile. Your eyes were relaxed and happy, and if only he could commit this to his memory, he’d never let the image go.

“Good,” You muttered into the palm of his hand, turning your head over to the side so you could kiss it, “Really good.” You giggled a bit at the way he grinned happily, no longer looking like the stern knight he always was but a simple man in love.

“Yeah?” He asked and you nodded, his thumb rubbing up and down your cheek as he pressed a small kiss to your forehead.

“Are you tired, d’you want me to stop?” He asked, his eyes tracing your features, not wanting to push you when he knew this was your first time experiencing all these things. If he could, he’d take the time to show you everything he knew. But on the longest night of the year, he’d be apt with stopping right where he was.

“No, no,” You groaned, your lips forming into a small pout as you pushed at his chest, wanting him to get the hint, “Don’t stop.”

He laughed, the sound deep and rich as you smiled along with it, nodding along to your words.

“Whatever you want, princess.” And for the first time, you loved the way your title sounded on his tongue.

As he got himself ready, you took the time to admire his bare body. The way his chest flexed every time he moved, the muscle delicately outlined with the help of the moon and her stars, looking as if he was chiseled from marble. You knew that no other man in your land could look like him, be him. There was only one Bakugo Katsuki, and you were more than thrilled to have him right in front of you.

You let your nails drag along his thighs, noting the little shiver he let out when your finger dragged up to his hip, tracing his v-line and the muscle of his abs, your cold fingers a stark contrast from his stark skin, but he’d be a madman if he told you to stop.

“So pretty ‘Suki,” You muttered, almost as if you were talking to yourself, not even noticing the way his cheeks flushed at your simple compliment.

But your eyes wandered down lower, and you’d be blind if you were to miss the way his cock had sprung against his stomach, his tip red and angry, dripping with pre as it was practically begging to be touched.

You didn’t know much, only heard from the other girls and their experiences, so you aimlessly brought your hand down, lower and lower till it stopped at the vein that traveled upwards. You traced it all the way up to his tip, hearing him shudder and let out little whines at the way your fingers held him. You followed the natural curve, wondering silently to yourself how he was ever going to fit inside you as you gave him an experimental squeeze. He watched the curious look in your eyes as you watched how he reacted, the way he twitched and the muscle in his thigh almost spasmed as you moved your hand leisurely up and down.

“F-fuck, you’re,” He heaved, running a hand through his hair, his jaw ticking as you looked up at him, your fist stopping just at his head as he swallowed thickly, “You’re killing me, can’t,” He heaved a groan as you squeezed a little, a cheshire grin growing on your face as he tried to glare at you but failed miserably when you squeezed his tip again, smearing pre cum all of the palm of your hand, “Shit, it feels amazing azizam.” He muttered, his head falling into the crook of your neck as you paused your movements.

“Why…why’d you stop?” He whined and you patted his hair, his gold locks as you giggled a little bit at the desperation in his voice. He was such a far cry from how you were used to seeing him, but you kissed his ear, moving his chin up as you pressed another kiss to his lips.

“‘Cause… I want you - want you to fuck me,” You said against his tender skin, your cheek heating up but you didn’t care about being proper anymore, “Can you please do that ‘Suki? Please?”

Ad he almost collapsed on top of you but controlled himself as he swooped down, pressing a messy kiss to your swollen lips as you tasted your tangy self on him, moaning at it as he grinded his hard-on into your stomach.

“F-fuck, of course,” He murmured against you, “You know I’d do anything for you, Y/n. Didn’t even need to ask.”

You grinned at his words, watching as he pulled away, balancing himself on the pads of his knees as he looked down at you, a loving and tender look in his eyes as he winked, his strong frame, something that once used to intimidate you, casting a shadow over your body.

You watched with your heart beating in your throat as you parted your thighs for him, still wet from your previous orgasm, as he lined himself up with your entrance, his thick head prodding at your walls as he looked up at you, a final look, a final say in wanting to make sure you were okay.

The smile you gave him was wide, full of every emotion you tried to convey to him as you nodded, your eyes shutting in pure bliss as he gently pushed himself in, the sting of your tight cunt trying to take shape for him was something you were going to get used to, but after he let you get adjusted to his girth you patted his thigh, telling him that you were ready for him to move.

And gods, when he did you could have sworn you were going to pass out. You could tell he was trying to be as slow and as gentle as possible, but with the way he was chewing on his lips, his brows creasing as he tried to focus and being slow with you, you knew that he too was slowly going crazy.

“‘Suki, please,” You moaned when his dick hit a certain spot inside you, your eyes crossing over as you gripped onto his arm as tightly as you could, “Go faster. P-please, fuck!” He could only grunt, holding onto your hips as carefully as he could without hurting you, and he felt like he was slowly entering heaven because there was no way this was anything but that.

“R-really? Are you sure? Don’t - fuck - don’t want to hurt you…?” He said, his tone laced with worry and desire as you shook your head, begging, pleading for him to go faster.

And he obliged, picking up the pace as his cock plunged in and out of you, the sounds full of sin as your juices mixed with his, a sloppy and wet sound bouncing around the room as the two of you moaned in tandem at the blasphemous yet deliriously amazing feeling.  

You tried to open your eyes, crack them for long enough to see him focusing on the way your cunt hugged his cock tightly, the way you didn’t seem to want to let him go as your juices shined brightly on his dick. The feeling was unlike anything he’d experienced before, and he knew that he could no longer pretend and shove his feelings down when it came to you. It was all thrown out the window when you first asked him to kiss you, and now, after this, he’d probably go insane if you asked him to pretend like it never happened.

“Mhh, f-fuck, feels so good, don’t, don’t stop ‘Suki, love it so much!” You cried, and maybe you were just saying random words at this point, but like a fool in love, he clung to all of them.

“I know, fuck, you’re so tight, you’re clamping down on me so much,” He groaned, sputtering through the words as he pistoned his hips and out of you, the bed creaking and swaying heavily with his rapid motions. He prayed to every and any god there was out there that it didn’t crack during this.

“S-shit, Y/n,” He felt his release quickly coming, and he knew it was going to come anytime with the way you gripped onto him, your hot walls not seeming to let him go as his face contracted, “M’gonna, fuck, gonna cum.”

“M-me too, gonna c-cum, ‘Suki, fuck!” You said, your voice airy as you tried to lift your hips up to meet his movement, that knot in your stomach growing tighter than it had last time, your thighs cramping and toes curling as you wrapped your hands around his toned shoulders.

He grunted at the feeling, his dick pulsating inside you as you tried to hold on for a little longer, your back arching, your breasts pressing into his chest as he groaned at the feeling, kissing and licking at your neck as he bit down at the point where your neck met your collarbone.

He stopped when he felt it coming, pulling out of you as his heavy load sprayed all over your chests, your own scream of pleasure mirroring his as you climaxed, your pussy aching without him inside you as you collapsed, your face lined with sweat and arousal as your chest heaved up and down with heavy breaths.

He panted, wiping at his forehead as he looked at you, his heart warming at the intimate sight. He had no idea how he was ever going to recover from this, how he’d come up with a plausible lie for why he was suddenly putting down his knightly duties to no longer serve you.

But right now he couldn’t let those thoughts ache his mind as he climbed off of the bed, his whole body spent as you cracked open an eye, fearful that he had quickly regained his senses and was trying to find the easiest way out.

Even now you tried your best to get your mind straight, but it was impossible when he looked so gorgeous, the pale moonlight washing over his features as the muscle in his back rippled with his every movement.

“‘Suki…where,” You pulled yourself up on your elbows, your chest a beautiful sight as he looked back at you, “Where’re you going?”

He paced back, hearing the worry in your voice as you gently cupped your cheeks, kissing all of the concerns out of your face as he gently rubbed at your worry lines, promising to himself that he’d never let you trouble yourself again if he had the power.

“Getting you a washcloth, I’ll be back, I promise.” He pecked at the corner of your lips as you smiled, nodding as you fell back into the bed, your fingers feeling at the soft sheets as you looked out of the window, hearing some rustling in the back as you tried to calm your heart rate down.

He came back with a cloth warmed with some water, gently dragging it all over your body as you winced, hearing his soothing apologies as he tried to be softer with your sore areas. It was an intimate sight, and you hoped that you weren’t the only one out of the two who felt this way.

His eyes were careful as they tracked all over, careful as to not miss a spot, and then went back to get another towel, this time for your face as he cleaned all the sweat and spit off, not missing the way you held his wrist and pressed an appreciative kiss to his palm your eyes drooping from sleep as you let him pull you into some more comfortable robes, pulling the sheets over your body so that you wouldn’t shiver in the night.

That’s when you let the exhaustion and sleep take over your body, drifting off into a dreamless slumber as you hoped that the warmness that was radiating next to you could only have but one explanation for it.

—

When you woke up, you squinted as the sun shined brightly in your eyes, holding your hand up to hide the rays. You felt sore and the place between your thighs ached, but you had never gotten a sleep as good as the one you had gotten last night.

Looking over, you let out a sigh of relief to see Katsuki next to you, sleeping away peacefully as his cheeks were squished in from the pillow.

Laughing quietly you ease yourself back down, pulling the blanket over your two bodies as you laid your hand across his shoulders, playing with the tuft of hair at the nape of his neck, twirling it around mindlessly as you wondered to yourself just what you were going to do.

Before you could think for long, you felt him shift beneath your fingers, and watched as he cracked an eye open, and then another one, slowly coming to his senses when a big, wide, goofy grin spread across his cheeks to see you there laying in front of him.

“Good morning,” You muttered, your thumb moving across his forehead, tracing his delicate yet war-ridden features with all the care in the world.

“Mornin’,” He said, the gruffness in his voice making you shiver as his hands circled around your wrist, bringing your hands to his lips as he placed a delicate kiss on the back of them.

The two of you let the silence sit between your bodies, mapping a dimple and a scar on each other's face, things you’ve ever noticed before because you’ve never been in such a position to take notice of such things.

But soon the heavy question came back, and you could only let it sit for so long before somebody brought it up.

“I’ve been wondering,” Katsuki started, weaving his hand underneath your naked body so that he could tug it closer to himself, smiling to himself as you let out a shocked squeal at the way he so effortlessly was able to move you, “If your offer’s still up?”

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you let your palm rest on his chest, drawing to be neared to his warmth as you rested your cheek against his bicep.

“What offer?”

He played with your hair, grunting as he looked down at you for really forgetting the words you told him so many months ago.

“The one where I helped you run away.”

You paused, your breath catching in your throat as you looked up at him, wondering where he was going with this.

“I recall something like that...” You said slowly, not wanting to ruin anything when things seemed to be going relatively alright. But he traced little patterns on your back, the action soothing as he flattened his palm across your shoulder blades.

“Well, I reckon you’ll run away either way. If not last night, then another night,” He looked down at you, a promise in his eyes that you knew he would intend to keep to his very death, “And you’re going to need somebody who knows Persia like the back of their hands.

"But...Katsuki," You frowned, moving some of the hair away from his face as he brought your palms to his lips, watching you as you tried to formulate your thoughts. There was no point in lying to him when he could read you so easily, "I don't want you to leave here. You have a life here, people who need you." You needed him, but you didn't want to seem any more desperate than you already were to him.

Regardless, he shook his head, his hand moving over your waist as his fingers marked all the placed he kissed last night.

"You," He kissed your forehead, smiling into your skin as you giggled at the ticklish sensation, "Are my life. What do you not get about that?" You heated under his words, trying to hide your face in his arms.

“And regardless of if I come with you or not, you’re going to be taking a part of me that only you have, so..." He shrugged as if he wasn't saying the most amazing words he could have ever said, "I'll be coming with you."

The smile you gave him could radiate universes to come, it made the stars jealous in your wake, and the sun wondered how something could look so bright, how it was humanly possible.

“Really? You promise?”

He nodded, kissing your forehead as he held you close to his chest, his arms protectively trying to shield you from the troubles of the world.

“F'course, my love," He kissed you one last time as the sun began to rise from the east, "I’d never lie to you.”

---

[katcoquette]

Home

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x wife!Reader

masterlist | taglist

summary: requested by anon! you're worried your husband might miss the birth of your first baby, but instead you get a sweet reunion after months apart.

★ word count: 1.4k

★ tw: pregnancy

★ author's note: idk if I even want children but I would for this man & this was such a cute request thank you <;3

You hadn’t seen your husband in months.

Although it wasn’t unusual for him to be on assignment for months at a time, you were usually allowed to go with him- he’d spend weeks training, still coming home to you every night, and you’d only be apart for a few days when the actual mission was taking place- but this time was different.

He’d told you it was highly classified, and he was being forced to leave a three-month pregnant (and extremely upset) you at home.

The details were sparse, the time frame vague, and you hadn’t been able to talk to him more than a handful of times in the four months he’d already been gone.

To say you were miserable would be an understatement- you were hormonal, worried, scared, and you missed him more than anything. On particularly hard days, you’d spend hours feeling sorry for yourself, cursing the navy for forcing your husband to miss out on so many of your firsts.

Your first child, your first pregnancy, finding out the sex of your baby (which was sitting in an envelope in your nightstand- you refused to do that without him), and several other firsts you’d wished he could be there for.

You were in the middle of one of these pity parties when you heard a knock on the door. You groan, dragging yourself out of bed to answer, and open the door to see two smiling faces standing on the other side.

“Mrs. Bradshaw.” Jake grins, walking past you to set your mail that he’d collected on the table. “You’re looking chipper this morning.” He notes sarcastically, making a noise when Natasha hits his arm, which you appreciate. You shut the door behind them and collapse onto the couch.

“I’m almost eight months pregnant, Jake, and it’s the middle of summer. I’m fucking miserable.” You rest your head on Natasha’s shoulder when she sits down next to you and look up at Jake where he’s standing in your living room.

“What are you two doing here? I thought we had planned tomorrow? Or am I mixing things up again?”

“Taskforce decided to stop by a day early. In the area and all of that.” Jake smiles, and you’re sure he’s hiding something as he sits down in the chair across from you.

Bradley had enlisted his friends in a ‘taskforce’ to check in on you while he was gone, and they’d had a field day with it. The officialness of it all was highly amusing to them and to you, (because why wouldn’t they check on you anyway?) and the joke had taken off from there.

You roll your eyes, letting a smile peek onto your lips. “Right. Right.” You hum, then gesture to your posture on the couch. “Well as you can see, I’m doing great.”

He chuckles, “I always knew you were my favorite.”

This causes a full smile to grace your lips. “I really do appreciate you guys looking out for me.” You squeeze Natasha’s hand, and she smiles back at you.

“We don’t mind at all, Y/N. You’re family.” She assures you.

You nod, and she follows up with a question, “How are you actually doing?”

You sigh, resting your hand on your growing stomach. “It’s been hard. I’m worried he’s not gonna be back in time. I mean what then? It’s bad enough to be going through the pregnancy without him, he’d be heartbroken if he missed the birth.”

At this, Natasha shares a look with Jake. You notice immediately and sit up straighter. “You two know something, don’t you?”

“Wellll…” Jake starts.

It doesn’t take long for you to convince them to spill their classified information: you pull the pregnancy card, shed a few tears that they see right through but kindly pretend they don’t, and then they’re swearing you to secrecy.

He’d be home in a week.

༛ ༛ ༛༛

The next week was one of the busiest of your life. You got the official notification two days ago, and now you were standing with a few other families in the hanger.

You fan yourself with the envelope anxiously, waiting for him to land. When you see the jets fly overhead, you stuff the envelope into your back pocket.

And then the engines are cutting.

Your breath hitches in your throat and your movements stop as you see the canopy of his jet open. You’re frozen in place, a sob threatening to escape from your throat at any second as you watch him climb down, take off his helmet, and spot you in the small crowd that had gathered to welcome their family members home.

All you can manage to do as he jogs toward you is return his smile, tears already pooling in your eyes, and hold open your arms when he reaches you. He sweeps you up into his arms, turning once before letting your feet hit the ground again.

“Bradley…” You choke out, clinging to him so tightly you’re not sure anyone would be able to pry him from you again. “Hi baby.” He says it into your hair, his head buried into your neck as you hold each other.

When you readjust your grip on him, he realizes just how relieved you are to have him back. He rubs your back soothingly, cradling your head to his shoulder as you cry.

“Hey…” He chuckles through his own tears. “It’s okay, I’m not leaving you again.” You nod, turning your head to rest it against his chest. His arms tighten around you again, and he kisses the top of your head, and you realize how much you’d missed the safety you found there.  

“Are you doing okay?” His hands move to cup your face, eyes first glancing you over, and then searching your own for any sign of deeper distress.

You nod, putting your hands over his. “I’m okay.” You confirm, and he smiles at you, satisfied with your answer. “Good.” He squishes your cheeks together, making you laugh.

And then he’s kissing you. If one kiss could heal all the pain from your months without him, it would be this one.

He only pulls away enough to allow him to speak, resting his forehead against yours. “I missed you more than anything, sweetheart.” He runs his hands up and down your arms, and even though the heat was pushing 90 degrees, you still get goosebumps.

He takes your hands and holds them out, putting some space between the two of you.

“Let me get a look at ya.” He grins, and looks you up and down, focusing in on your bump that had grown significantly in his absence. He gingerly places a hand there, “I missed you too.” You can feel your baby shift, and then a soft kick hits against his palm.

He looks up from your stomach in awe, and you smile softly. “We both missed you, so so much.” You press another kiss to his lips, and then it’s your turn to inspect him as he takes off the rest of his gear.

“And you’re okay too? You’re not hurt?” He shakes his head, “No, everything’s good.” He pulls you back into his arms, sighing contently. “We did it. Not too bad, huh?” He jokes.

“Speak for yourself.” You tease back, and he laughs. “God, that was too long. I missed out on so much.”

“But you didn’t miss the most important part.” You remember the envelope in your back pocket and pull it out, holding it between both of your faces. “And I saved this part for you.” He smiles, plucking it out of your hands. “I was wondering what that was.” He winks.

He’s barely opened the envelope before he’s realizing what it is. “Is this?” You nod, moving under his arm to his side so you can open it together. You hold his hand on your shoulder as both of your eyes scan the page, and you spot the news at the same time.

A gasp leaves your lips as you look up to see an affectionate smile on your husband’s face. “I had a feeling.” He says softly. You glance back down to confirm one more time, finger brushing over the words on the page.

“Our little family.” He breathes out, bending his arm so you’re tucked back into his chest, and pressing another kiss to your head, whispers “I love you.”

With the paper in your hand, and more tears in your eyes, you throw your arms over his shoulders, and kiss him. “I love you too.”

“Let’s go home.”

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[were--ralph]

this is gonna be phrased kind of jokingly but actually i think it's kind of revolutionary to me to think about the idea of someone who was assigned male at birth and still identifies as male expressing wanting a vagina. i know enough cis women who have expressed wanting a dick, but i always kind of chalked that up to how easier a penis seems to be.

i'm a transmasc nb and pretty content with my structure (although i wish i had more of a t dick) but have never really considered that a cis guy might prefer different plumbing. your post might have been joking, but even if you were just joking, it kind of brought that to light for me

if you do get a boy pussy though i hope it gets put to good use o7

Oh I've talked about this a few times but as a kid I wanted and felt like I should have both parts and it never went away but seeing men with vaginas kinda refired my brain and I still want both parts but know I can't have both.

But seeing men with vaginas is like I want that for me I've had a dick for 30 years and I can say with confidence I do not want it anymore lol. Don't get me wrong it's a great dick I just like. Feel disconnected from it and I feel like I'd be happier without it

That being said I'm still happy to identify as male or nb or whatever space I occupy atm. I have no intention of identifying as female so I don't think im trans I just want a vagina. And not even fully for sex stuff. That's a bonus I guess I just want it and I want it now