#youve given me ideas DARLING

[kuni-is-daddy]

Switch!Wanderer x Female Reader

Birthday Special

Ft: Mentions of nahida. Word Count: 1.32k

|Scaraficlist!|ScaraNSFWAlphabet

:// Spoilers for his lore if your not updated. Use of Darling, Good girl, Soft wanderer, subtle grinding. Kuni tries to be dom. Aftercare

CW: Minors do NOT interact past the cut! This is a NSFW POST!!

Wanderer was bored. So he decided to go to the sanctuary of Surasthana while you we're 'busy running errands at the akademiya'. Or, that was the story you went with. "Errands?" Nahida was sitting on her swing while flicking through the pages of a colorful animal book. Slimes, Whopper flowers and even vishamps were all printed in bold along the pages with pictures and definitions in the corner. "Hm.. But I thought she was getting ready for the surpri-" Nahida stuttered and bit her tongue. Wanderer noticed. "What is it?"

he insisted and she nervously closed her book. "Well Uhm.. I know your stance has changed, But shouldn't you take some time off to compose yourself? Its your-" "My birthday." He said sarcastically. "I don't celebrate that Irrelevant holiday; it wouldn't even apply to me as I wasn't even given a concrete date of birth. Who cares, It's just a waste of time when I could be doing other things." Nahida got up. " Well, if you're comfortable, maybe you can give a gift to someone else? Someone you care about! You know.. your thes-" Wanderer groaned. "Yes buer. I know my thesis is due. Youve reminded me. SEVERAL. Times." She smiled, now that Wanderer was attending lectures and studied at vahumana, the little archon was eager to read out his findings. Nahida then waved him off as he turned away. 'A gift..' He immediately thought of you. What would you like this time? Make-up, Clothes, should he take you out on another date? He didnt have much mora on him at the moment, But didnt care since it was for you. Wanderer sighed, He'd just have to go off his own idea.

Wanderer fumbled with his keys. You probably still weren't home anyway. He thought. He did tell you how he felt about his birthday. For all he knew his existence was just a hinderance. His mother, Niwa's suffering… The deaths in the clans…. Wait. Is that why you stayed in the akademiya for so long? A pit began to swirl in his chest and eyebrows furrowed at the thought. Nahida was obviously holding out on something when she referenced you. He tsk'd then turned the doorknob "Y/n?" and was greeted to your shared house covered in decorations. Wanderer fell completely quiet as he looked around the house, there we're teal and white decorations along the walls, A feast on the table, then gifts neatly tied in a bow. He took off his kasa hat, hanging it up by the door. Many gifts we're lined up along the hallway. Two we're in sparkling green wrap. 'From Nahida, To hatguy' Was written on the tag. While 3 other gifts we're from you. He Opened the door to his room; Light came from underneath. "Y/n. Darling? Are you-" "SURPRISE!!!!!!" You yelled and jumped off his bed, Kuni blinked as he heard a pop and watched shreds of confetti fall onto his head, one on his nose that he blew away a bit annoyed. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" you ran up to hug him, practically jumping into his arms as you hugged him tightly.

You then pulled away as he looked you up and down. You wore a f/c dress, Stockings and a blue bowstring tied on your right wrist. He grinned and tugged you by his arm, pulling you closer and into his grasp. Before you could react his arm was already wrapped around your waist. "Hm. So all I have to do is indulge in this stupid holiday to have you wrapped up for me like this?" Kuni's gazed stayed focused on your now flustered expression with your body pressed against his, He trailed his free hand down to the hymn of your dress, Rubbing his fingertips along your clothed thigh. "Well..it is your birthday so I thought id-ah-give you~ something~" A small moan escaped your lips as he rubbed his hand along your ass, He scoffed a bit when he felt the latex of your stockings. "Oh? And what was that? This perfect body of yours that I can have whenever I want?" You nodded and stumbled in his touch, "Fuck.." Kuni let out a raspy breath. Your knee pressed against the forming tent in his pants. "If your done playing around, Im going to unwrap my gift now."

---

Kuni scooped you up properly, then placed you onto the bed. You looked at him eagerly as his pupils began to glow a fainter purple. He hastily took off his open chested kimono and bodysuit, discarding his vision as it dangled off the side of the bed. "Lay down for me." Kuni ordered. You complied and got comfortable, kicking off your flats and laying on the middle of the bed. He sunk his face into your neck and bit along your shoulder before leaving petals of kisses along your neck. You moaned softly into his ear and pressed your knee up a bit further, Stimulating him through his pants. "You- mn Slut. Rutting against me like this." Kuni bit harder, Sucking on your neck and creating red patches along your skin. He pulled away from your neck and smashed his lips against yours, His tongue eagerly intertwined with yours, Your lipbalm softly smeared against his own lips in friction as you moaned into his mouth. Kuni's hands shifted down towards your breasts, Cupping them harshly through your dress cloth. His member began throbbing through his pants, You wanted more. Touching him like this wasnt enough. Kuni pulled away and you whined. "Shh shh..Be patient my love." Your heart rate increased at his sudden sweet nickname, And as you we're distracted he pulled you near the edge of the bed and spread your legs. "K-kuni- wait! my stock-"

He tugged at the cloth and ripped it, Holes formed in the stitching near your thigh. Kuni's eyes widened a bit, You also had lacey lingerie on underneath. "Shit..You've been plotting this all day huh? To have me fuck you with these on?" His fingers pressed on the cotton, and slowly pulled your lingerie off as well. Your pussy was already glistening from his remarks and Kuni bit his lip. "God..I need to taste you right now darling, You look so good for me~ My perfect gift." Kuni leaned down in between your legs and licked along your folds. He was going to drag this out as long as he could. He took more short licks along your clit, Occasionally Licking at your bud while gripping you closer. Your legs twitched from his teasing. "Kuni..Please~ More~! I need it~!" You pleaded and kuni finally inserted his warm tongue inside your pussy. "Mn You taste s' good darling~" kuni's tongue licked along your walls and You bucked your hips a bit softly into his tongue. He then sunk farther in-between your legs, giving you a hazy sight of him pulling his bangs out of view and rubbing your clit against his lips. "K-kuni! wait your tongue~! Its-" "Loudher slut~ Mm-let me hear how good im making you feel~" You moaned into your hand while gripping tightly onto the bedsheets. Out of desperation to chase your high you pressed his head in between your thighs, Suffocating him in your taste. Kuni was so used to training himself how to breathe he forgot he was a puppet; He felt a bit lightheaded but couldnt help it as his length began throbbing so hard in his pants he felt as if he was going to cum untouched while rubbing your clit as you moaned out his name.

A coil snapped and you came undone, Letting out a muffled cry as you coaxed his lower face and tongue in your Juices, Squeezing your thigh one more time as your high subsided. The deafening silence blinked you out your daze as kuni got up from in-between your legs, Panting and his hair completely messy. "I- Kuni Im so sorry! Are you okay I didnt-" As you looked further down you noticed the wet stains coming from his shorts, He pulled the string and slid down his shorts and boxers, finally freeing his aching shaft. "Mmm..Fuck..You really are my slut arent you. My Pretty cocksleeve~" Kuni pulled up your dress finally over your head, frazzling your hair slightly and he panned your locks back in place with his thumb. "Spread your legs again for me.. darling And dont you dare-Hah..Get quiet again. Okay?" He said between panted breathes, you nodded and parted your legs again then held them up a bit until his tip grazed softly against your wet entrance, The puppet was already twitching from the contact and his precum smeared along your clit. Kuni looked up at you again, "Are you ready doll?" You hummed and he immediately plunged himself inside you, Moaning and groaning at your warmth.

"Ah~ F-fuck y/n." He bucked his hips up and down slowly. You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer as he kissed under your neck with your head rested on his pillow. Kuni let out heavy pleasured sighs in sync with your moans as you chased your second orgasm. With his face dug into your neck he searched for your hand, gripping at the bow then intertwining his hand in yours. Your body arched further as his bed began to creak from his quickening pace. His ornament and kimono fell off the bed with a slight clink, But kuni was in a daze from your walls clenching around his cock. "Y-your so tight y/n i- im fuck~! Gonna cum~!" Kuni tilted his head up, biting harder into your neck while your nails dug into his shoulders. You quickly came again, shuddering from your second orgasm as you coated his cock. Kuni soon came after, bucking himself balls deep into you with a harsh thrust, Ropes of his Cum gushed into your womb, Painting your walls the color of his seed.

Wanderer panted into your chest, The only sounds coming from him we're soft sighs of relief from his pent-up orgasm. He tried getting up, slowly pulling himself out of your stuffed pussy and fetching a towel. He then held your hand softly, gracing you up as he wiped any sweat or fluids off your body. He was deafly quiet and focused on cleaning you up. He sighed and got up until you gripped tightly on his hand. "Stay with me kuni…Please~?" Your eye lashes fluttered, Blinking out the small dry tears. The puppet stared at you as you held his hand. He was never showered with this much affection. Nonetheless for his birthday, He didn't know whether to get emotional or frustrated. And chuckled to himself at another one of his fatal flaws that he couldn't understand. "Heh. So needy arent you? Fine. I'll stay." Kuni then laid down with you ontop of him, planting a kiss on the crown of your head while you rested on his chest.

The next morning you woke up limp with your knees wobbling. You stumbled out the bed, noticing a pair of clothes sitting by the edge with a small note attached. "Not bad, I guess cooking is another thing Your reliable on. Lessor lord Kusanali is having me attend another Boring lecture, She says its 'important' But I don't really care. Ps. Check my desk when your done, Then meet me at the Akademiya. Hurry up."

On his desk was a bouquet of flowers….And another note. 'Thank you for the birthday gift darling.'

A/N: I Havent wrote in like...WEEKS omg :( Ty all so much for your patience and HAPPY NEW YEAR!. Thank you for reading!!!

[moonstruckme]

Oooo darling!! Your latest TASM fic sparked and idea!

(Before that, hello lovely 🩷 i hope you're having the best spooky season!)

Big brother!Sirius coming to save some poor sod that upset his slytherin!sister (Regulus' twin). So you have the charming & fun Sirius; quiet & regal Regulus; loyal & volatile reader. And i imagine Sirius calls them his twin stars (because hes deffinately a huge sap).

Where wolfstar is in 7th year and has a great relationship with the twins (maybe theyre trying to become their legal guardians behind the scenes). He and Remus are in their dorm before Peter bursts in, breathless, only saying "y/n" before Sirius is off. He has no doubt to why you were put in 🐍, and god forbid someone actually hurt his baby sister.

On reader's side, someone made a snide comment about Remmy being a halfblood or ruining the Black legacy or something and reader gets pissed because shes actually quite fond of him.

Then whatever you decide love; maybe reader gets hurt; maybe she does the hurting; maybe Remus saves the day with his long legs; or Sirius might show people what growing up in the 'Noble house of Black' does to someone. And idk what Reggie is doing, i imagine he was making out with James and they come in at the last minute ("😱 james!! What have you done!? Youve DEFILED one of my precious stars!!! Let go of him!!!! NO, dont touch him, get away.")

Anyway bub, as always; dont feel pressured and take all the creative liberties youd like!! Love you lots darling x

Hi my lovely, thanks for requesting! I really need to get more creative than bloody noses but ugh they're just so classic

cw: blood

big brother!sirius + (as opposed to x, I guess?) little sister!reader ♡ 861 words

“You weren’t there!” you insist as Sirius stalks back and forth across the room, tapping his wand against his leg in a quick, restless beat. “He said—he—” You look at Remus, the boy’s eyebrows drawn together in concentration and concern as he presses a cloth under your nose, trying to stop the blood that’s already crusted down your chin. You decide to keep your mouth shut. 

Remus smiles wryly, and you know he suspects why you’ve chosen to go quiet. “It doesn’t matter what they said, love. I don’t need you getting in fights for me.”

“Who was it?” Sirius demands, for probably the fourth or fifth time. You’re losing count. 

“It’s already been hand—ah!” Remus murmurs an episky while you’re distracted, and you flinch, hands flying to your face as your septum snaps back into its proper place. “Fuck, could’a given me some warning.” 

“Sorry,” Remus says, and he looks like he means it, tilting your chin up to continue cleaning your face as you look at him with teary eyes. “Thought it might hurt less if you weren’t expecting it.” 

“How do you figure?” you ask him, somewhat miffed. 

“Back. On. Task.” Sirius claps his hands with each word, coming to a stop in front of you. “Who did this? Remus is my boyfriend, I have twice as much a right to defend his honor as you do, you—you fucking—squirt.” 

You sneer at the childish name, but you know your brother means to rile you. “I told you, I handled it. He won’t do it again.” 

“And he’s never going to touch you again either,” Sirius promises menacingly, squatting in front of you to look you in the eyes, “if you just tell me the fucker’s name.” 

“Alright, that’s enough,” Remus says, taking his boyfriend’s shoulder in a spindly hand, the touch both soothing and controlling as he pushes Sirius back from you. “Let’s just let her rest for a minute, yeah?” Sirius sputters in protest, but Remus moves in front of him, pressing his face into his boyfriends’ dark locks. You roll your eyes at the display, though a tiny part of you loves that your brother has someone who loves him this well. Once he quiets, Remus speaks in a low, soothing voice. “I know, I know, you won’t be deterred from your vengeance, but there’s time for that later. Let’s just calm down for now.” 

It’s a lovely prospect, but at that moment, the door opens to reveal Regulus and James, both looking somewhat ruffled. James stops short at seeing you all gathered in his dorm (Remus and Sirius, of course, have every right to be here, but you’d bet he and Reg were hoping for some privacy) and stands there blinking for a moment. Your twin’s blasé facade slips the moment he sees you with blood still crusted to your nostrils and tear tracks down your face. 

“What happened?” he asks, pushing past James and into the dorm. 

“She got into a fight,” Sirius says, outrage instantly rekindled, and Remus sighs in exasperated resignation, his work undone. “Someone said something about Moony, but she won’t tell who.” 

Now James looks upset too, eyes darting to Remus concernedly. “About Moony? When?” 

“Just now!” Sirius throws up his hands. “Ten minutes ago! Did either of you see anything?” 

James shakes his head, and despite Regulus’ blank expression, you catch the embarrassed shifting of his stance. “No,” James says, “we were, uh…we didn’t see anything.” 

“I bet I know who it was though,” Regulus offers, that traitorous scum. He’s just throwing you under the bus to take the heat off himself. 

It works; Sirius perks up. “Yeah? Who?”

“It doesn’t matter who,” you say, but Sirius cuts you off, facing your twin. 

“Who?” he asks. 

“It was the guy you were arguing with yesterday too, right?” Reg glances at you for confirmation, and you glare at him. Don’t you dare, your look says, but he nods and turns back to Sirius. “He’s your year, the one you guys call Sni—”

“Reg and James were coming in here to have sex!” you blurt. 

It’s a wonder Sirius doesn’t get whiplash from how fast he turns around. “What?” 

You nod, unable to feel guilty as Regulus gives you an appalled look from behind your older brother. “Mhm,” you say. “Their hair is all messed up, and look—their lips are swollen. Plus, they were surprised we were in here.” 

You do feel a tiny bit bad for James, whose dark skin blanches when Sirius turns on him. “James Potter, did you come in here to defile my brother?” 

James looks to Remus for help, but his friend only turns his palms up like Sorry, what can you do?. After a second, Regulus steps closer to him.

“Sirius, we—”

“Don’t touch him,” Sirius practically retches. He shakes his head, grabbing Regulus by the arm and all but dragging him from the room. “Alright, listen. You are going to tell me who was talking shit about Remus, and then we’re going to have an entirely separate conversation about boundaries.” He casts a noxious look back at James. “And I’ll deal with you later!” 

[ess-presso]

hellooo im back💥 i adore your tattoo ideas i love queen sm & getting lines from youre my best friend with your best friend? genius truly. if i could get my best friend to get a matching tattoo with me (which would never happen shes so indecisive) id love to get lyrics from a song we both love. also love the little freak lines i love that song sm.

TY for the fic rec again im gonna give u another one because thats how this works now<3 across the hallway by periwinklehelp_123 (dorlene, dorcas and marlene live across the hallway from each other, pretty self explanatory)

now for taylor. im in a reputation kinda mood today sooo....getaway car, gorgeous, call it what you want !

and omg. pisces thats so funny. please tell me u dont have the same bday as remus.

also i love friends & b99 theyre just such perfect feel-good shows. ive recently been watching new girl in my spare time too🫶

also tangled & princess and the frog?? taste. i love those movies sm theyre the superior disney princess movies (although i always was an ariel girl when i was really young LOL)

okay now questions:

have i ever seen a moose - god i wish. i dont even think moose live in my part of canada? (just googled it and they dont. very sad day for me)

temperature over here - rn its 6 degrees, in the summer it gets up to like 30 degrees, & winter usually gets down to around -10 at most.

favourite fic of all time - oooh this is a hard one. now i dont really read fics for any other fandom, its kinda for marauders for me so. my wip favourites are disintegration by moonymoment, crimson rivers by zar, edge by pinkpalaceapartments (another agent-james assassin-reg fic, based on killing eve), kill your darlings by messermoon, and ofc dead or alive (i guess i have a thing for assassin reg and agent james LOL) now for finished fics... the winner is gonna have to go to just lovers (like we were supposed to be) by zar. (and intermission by zar too since it fits in there) its just perfect and i feel like ive reread it a billion times.

fav golden trio era ship - probably luna and neville (do they have a ship name? i cant think of it if they do) they were my favourite characters as a kid so they have a special place in my heart. OH i also love romione because theyre just a classic and i love them sm.

do i write fics - sadly no. ive tried and failed. im not a creative writer at all, in fact im literally the opposite, call me the grammar police. im essentially the designated paper editor among my friends because im fantastic at technical writing and stuff like that, but i cant write for shit. i truly envy people who can create such beautiful stories.

tea or coffee - coffee always. i do love tea and have it probably just as much as coffee but i will always be a coffee girly.

go to outfit - hmm. well i basically live in my doc martens and leather jacket (very sirius of me i must say) and i do love a good baggy jean and band tee look. but on my off days you cannot find me out of my sweatpants or pajamas. its simply not happening.

how many piercings - 4, two on each earlobe. (2 i did myself with a sewing needle, dont recommend) i really wanna get my septum or just the nostril, but i havent decided yet. although id probably never get it, i do love the look of the medusa piercing too its just cool.

area of study - im studying classics and anthroplogy in uni rn! ive always been a history/humanities girly and i love ancient history and languages so much so thats what i decided to do. (plus i was a greek mythology kid so) i think my ideal career path would be archaeologist but that could change at any given moment, so im just seeing where uni takes me.

fun fact about me - hmmm. im left handed! kinda not a fun fact but for some reason i dont know very many left handed people (i swear have we gotten rarer or something??)

now for questions for you:

do you like books? whats your fav book/book series?

fav movie/movies?

whats one place youve always wanted to visit and why?

do you have any go-to pieces of jewelry that you always wear?

fav food?

cats or dogs?

mbti type?

sun, moon, or stars?

fav holiday? (as im writing this im losing it thinking about what you said about lily and james dying on my bday.😭 i just know james answered the door dressed to the nines in some dumb costume)

im so bad at coming up with questions and im running out ideas so ill think of more for next time <3

-bee

bee bee hello my new best friend <333

i know it is genius isn’t it ??? that’s what i keep telling my best friend , but he’s too scared of the needle. my goal is one year. one year and we’ll both get tattoos. and the little freak thing is literally one of my favourite harry songs !!

new girl is honestly like after modern family on my list. i shall get to her one day.

YOU ARE WELCOME FOR THE FIC REC :))))) I’ve now downloaded across the hallway & am very excited to read it , so thank you (i love lesbians & the next door neighbour trope !!)

now fic rec for you (that is what we do now , you are absolutely correct.) - down at the wolfbucks café by WolfstarGarden (ft barista james & remus , where regulus & sirius walk in one day for a cup of coffee.)

and because i’m on a little bit of a drarry kick rn - mental by sara_holmes (ft drarry with a miscast legilimens spell meaning they can hear each other’s thoughts.)

TAY TAY TIME -

(also yes , reputation always! as jake would say , ‘she makes me feel things’)

getaway car - JEGULUS - i’ve claimed this song for doa (it’s very inspired by getaway car) so i’m very excited for it (favourite song on rep , dare i say.) ‘sirens in the beat of your heart , should’ve known i’d be the first to leave , think about the place where you first met me’ - very very relevant for doa. changed my life when i heard this line. and generally ‘sirens in the beat of your heart’ like nee naw nee naw , don’t fall in love with this man , it’s bad for your heart , but aw crap i’m in love with him already !!!

gorgeous - JEGULUS - (keep relating everything to them , but i swear there are other ships i relate with other songs ) ‘you ruined my life by not being mine’ regulus watching james dance at a club & fuming because someone’s dancing against him (he doesn’t know that james is doing it on purpose to make him jealous) ‘you make me so happy it turns back to sad’ I LOVE IT it’s them them. ‘you’re so gorgeous , i can’t say anything to your face’ i can just imagine reg being all mean to him (it’s his way of flirting , poor chap.)

call it what you want - JEGULUS - (again I feel the need to apologise. i relate everything to them , they’re my current hyperfixation.) ‘brought a knife to a gunfight’ ‘They fade to nothing when I look at him ,And I know I make the same mistakes every time , Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right, I did one thing right’ - IT’S SO THEM IN MY HEAD !!! like imagine a celeb au , and this is reg afterwards where he’s being all smooth with it , because he’s finally home with james AHHHHHH.

chatting time -

i just assumed everywhere in canada had mooses. just like i see foxes everywhere here . that’s a little disappointing , tbh , they should have mooses everywhere.

6 degrees??? damn that’s almost warm compared to the weather here (1 degree) . & it gets into he negatives ( I don’t remembered a minus ten , but i could be wrong.) however , i still think london cold is colder than any other cold. it just hits different. like absolutely ten times worse.

and the fics , dstg , cr , kyd , are all on my list ( i paused cr at chap two so I am absolutely avoiding spoilers with a BAT) and edge (KILLING EVE ??? OH MY GOD IT’S GOING ON THE LIST.) . thank u so so much for putting dead or alive on this list !!! I’m so happy you liked reading it just as much as i love writing it !!

just lovers & intermission are also on my list. my lessons are currently fucking me up so i have zero free time , & i’ve got mocks coming up in a little while. but once i’m free , i will absolutely read this it sounds so cute and comforting!!

ahhh luna & neville ?? that’s so sweet ?? (vis a vis ship name - luville is what i’d go for :) ) & i love romione too (unfortunately will not be reading any fics with them as the main ship , they’re just not compelling enough for me ) i personally love drarry (& dramione sometimes , lil bit of a guilty pleasure u might say) and their fics stab me in my heart and put them back together (isolation , temptation on the warfront (fave drarry fic ever) , it was all just a game , wait and hope)

AND SAME . I’m literally the grammar editor for my bets friend . // ‘edit my paper’ ‘use grammarly’ ‘you went to a grammar school. you ARE my grammarly.’ // literally even my school friends , the ones who went to this grammar school with me , use me as their editors . I’m being used , honestly. (i make them buy me things in exchange though.)

YOU CHOSE COFFEE ?? as a british person , this is blasphemy. absolute blasphemy. *sips tea with pinky finger sticking out*

leather jacket & doc martens ?? so sirius black of u , yes. ( me looking at my red converse , jeans & plain ol’ shirt.) BAND TEES BAND TEES BAND TEES. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEY ARE BAE. I unfortunately own like one of them , but my best friend owns so so many and one day , when he’s not home , i’ll break in and take a couple. maybe. not getting out of sweats & pjs is so real of you & same honestly. nothing beats netflix & pjs with a glass of something sparkly & a tube of smarties for me.

BRO not the sewing needle , how did you not get an infection ?????? one of my friends has a septum piercing (her parents do not know this !) so she hides up her nose when she’s at home. she got a cold recently, and she describes sneezing with the septum piercing ‘the most painful thing i’ve ever fucking felt.’ so u know. advice. i myself advise you to get the nostril pierced. i think it would be very cool of you (but of course i am in favour of whatever you wish to do)

AHHHHHHH I WAS ALSO A GREEK MYTHOLOGY KID!!!!! i knew the story of troy by heart , and i still do. i still do. love meeting another greek nerd honestly we’re so cool !!! AND YOU STUDY CLASSICS ??? that’s so cool of u honestly. there’s a joke in latin (here at least ) where we say ‘caecilius est in horto’ does that carry over there in canada ?? or am i just speaking tosh right now?? & anthropology too ?? u just keep getting more and more awesome. (i wanted to be an archaeologist too , at one point. decided saving lives was more my thing.somtimes tho , when i watch spy movies & i come out of the cinema , i do say i will become an agent.but i never will.) & yes let life carry u on ur way .

left-handed people are depleting. i know one left handed person in real life & she says it’s a real struggle. (my goal in life is to become ambidextrous though.)

QUESTION TIME 🕰️-

I LOVE BOOKS !!!! (took english lit for a level , I gotta have had loved reading in some way!) my favourite books when i was a kid was hp , but now they’re the ‘a good girls guide to murder series’ i highly recommend them , ravi singh is my personal fave. for a singular book ? you must never ask a bookworm this, it’s a cardinal sin. i’ll give you my top four

gods of jade and shadow

a thousand splendid suns

if we were villains

little women

(these books changed my life , I highly recommend.)

and my favourite movies ? top three -

jumanji (the first one)

the proposal (ryan & sandy have my HEART. writing an au of them right now ‘born or invented.’ jegulus of course , because margaret can’t swim , and neither can he.)

the hunger games movies (peeta>>>> gale)

hp movies (poa & ootp especially)

i do have more , (some aren’t even english) but my mind is blank rn. watching the apprentice atm & the boys just won the first ep. the girls are all sad & i’m very sorry for them.m (one of them will have to go home, but one of them also keeps calling herself the ‘kim k of business women’ as if kim wasn’t already a business women.)

place i wanted to visit?? new york - i always wanted to go there. friends takes place there , it’s the big apple , yk???? I love it so much on tv & i do want to see all the ways americans are different. want a big gulp cup , i want to experience a lil british privilege. want to go to the concrete jungle , for sure.

my earrings, and this pandora bracelet which has a snitch clasp & the ‘i open at the close inscription’ it’s very dear to me. also also a gold necklace with a double dolpin. i wear these three all the time , but sometimes i also like wearing lots of rings , but i’m in a lab for a lot of the time so it’s very inconvenient for me.

fave food- pop tarts and also this Chinese takeaway from near my place??? i’m in heaven whenever i eat it. i go out often , and nothing has ever beat that. i also love the cookies & brownies from this bakery near my bus stop & i honestly love them so much. (me and my best friend went there every day after our gcses honestly.)

cats or dogs - cats. (sorry sirius) but i would never say no to a pupper! always pet one if the owner lets me!!

mbti type - INFJ-T (i’m an advocate?? yes yes i think that’s good :)) )

stars !! always stars!! (technically the sun is also a star , but i digress) stars make pretty constellations and as an ex-astronomy student, i love them so much.

fave holiday - CHRISTMAS !!!!! a london christmas is IMMACULATE. honestly the vibes are unreal. the lights on oxford street and everything ✨

& the halloween thing ?? i’m sorry , oh my god , your birthday is now the deathday of the greatest parents ever 💔.

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING JAMES OPENED THE DOOR ??? HE DID NOT DO THIS ??? voldy broke down the door , my friend , i promise even james isn’t that trusting.

but i agree he was so dressed in a dumb costume anyways .

q’s for next time

fave rarepair ?

fuck marry kill james sirius remus

what place do you want to visit and why?

fave book / book series ?

most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done ?

favourite thing you own?

if your life was a movie , what would you call it ?

(as usual , bee , come back in my inbox asap i will miss u otherwise. and keep it coming with the taylor songs , this is my daily bread.)

[harbingers-appointed]

... Sadistic and gross fourth wall breaker... I don't think you deserve common courtesy in any way, shape, or form. :) Because you probably don't wanna give me any common courtesy. Grrr... Going past the point of no return seems to happen to me pretty often haha- So let's maybe try backtracking to a point of return, yeah? Haha- By the way, you better stay away from Mango or so help me-

I did not lie. All I did was try to be sarcastic back at you since you seem super snarky! Bleh! Don't mess with my emotions or any other part of me!! I will get my happy ending no matter what! That doesn'tmean I'mjust goingto roll over and immediatelygive DK what he wants! I want to be what he needs in order to help him! Plus what the heck are you talking about with things going to plan?! =| Also... please don't ever call me "cutie" again... it's gross and I don't like it... Only DK can call me nicknames like that, and, as far as I can tell, you are not DK in any way shape or form.

- ☆Space Anon☆

"Sadistic and gross fourth wall breaker- now ain't that a mouthful! I deserve the world and I know it, God gives me all the special privileges~ I'm the favourite! PFFF, don't you know what the point of no return means??? There isn't any bsckpedalling once you're off the ledge silly, or maybe you just aren't that bright? d:"

*Flauros pauses to only snort as he begins to mock you

""I'm not going to just roll over and immediately give Dk what he wants!! I want to be what he needs in order to help him!!""

"HAHAHA, Holy shit you think you can help that sick fuck? Oh wow, heh! I'm tearing up over here!! Hehe!".

*your last few word leaves a shit eating grin on his face

"Funny you say that, I could just become Dk if it's his looks that get you so damn excited. Wouldn't that be hilarious? Then I could call you Darling~ (: "

[baxndaid]

#MYMUSE

character ; VENTI

prompt ; nun!reader with a (possessive) sober venti!!

notes/warnings ; alcohol use, harsh language, yandere venti?? a bit suggestive LMFAOM kinda idk; i KINDA wanna make this nun reader idea a reoccurring idea tbh

a holy, loyal, innocent devotee.

he had his eyes on you. his green, glowing eyes would follow your every step as you walked through mondstat, heading to the church. and even if he wasnt there physically, the wind always seemed to find you, pushing you in certain directions, waking you up during your shift, and lifting your dress up ever so slightly; but that always seemed to happen in private. you were always loyal to lord barbatos, you never questioned your beliefs when it came to him. i mean, how could you? he was your god. a perfect, unfettered, beautiful embodiment of freedom, and you loved him.

as a sister of the church, you were given duties and today was no different. sister rosaria, a rebellious woman who spent most of her time far away from the church, had told you to head out to the main market place to get some ingredients from good hunter. you didnt question her, but you did wonder why she needed 7 fowls and some thorns, but she was always a strange one so you left to fulfil her request.

your heels clicked on the stone pavement as you walked into mondstat's main market place. you greeted everybody as you walked, admiring the small fountain placed in the centre where all the children splashed and played with. heading up to sara, she told you that her last batch of fowl was late and that youd have to wait. she apologised and you left, thanking her anyway for her effort. you hummed a unfamiliar tune as you sat at one of good hunter's tables.

"whats this? is it a voice of an angel?" the green bard swooned, frolicking up to you. you internally groaned, it was almost routine at this point. he was quite popular in mondstat, popular for his silly antics and his drunken freestyles on the bustling streets. "it is called the city of freedom, after all!" is what he always says. he caught you listening to his songs and putting some mora in his hat as tip. from that moment, he latched onto you, swaying over to you and singing sweet melodies, shoulder to shoulder. he would flirt with you every chance he got, following you around like a lost puppy. it got so bad that one time barbra had to kick the young anemo bard out of barbato's church for disrupting the peace and annoying all the other sisters. youve told him that you werent too comfortable with the suggestive jokes and the constant flirting he did with you, considering your status as a nun. however, when you did tell him off, he would apologize and look downwards, leaving you alone for a few hours, and if you were lucky, a few days. but he would always come back and it would all start up again.

"sounds like an angel, and looks like an angel?" he giggled, "i must be dreaming!" venti brought you back from your self pity party and you looked up at him, he was right in front of you now. "good after noon, windblume!" he said, cheerily like always, "why are you here so early my love? dont tell me that your working already!" he whined. he never seemed to say your name, it was always "windblume," or "love," or "darling," you never knew at what point exactly when he started to call you these things, but you didnt exactly mind. it did cause some confusion as the locals believed that you and him were courting. this speculation was always very quickly shut down by you, which always led to venti joking about how you two were actually married, and that you were just trying to tease him by saying that you werent seeing each other. you always awkwardly laughed at those jokes.

"i normally work this early, venti." you replied. he seemed dissatisfied with your answer and huffed, "i know you start this early buuut!" he he came up behind you while you were sitting and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, your head now leaning on his chest, "you have to get some rest! how about we go to the tavern together? or! we could go to windrise! oh oh! or-" "i have work that needs to be finished, maybe next time." you told him softly, trying to muster up a kind smile. a few of the locals were looking in your direction, giving you two awkward smiles and strange looks. you cleared your throat and removed his hands from your shoulders, "anyways, i need to finish up my duties, see you later," you waved him goodbye as he did the same, just more enthusiastically.

oh barbatos. the way your soft hands softly grasped his, even if it was only for a few seconds, he loved every minute of it. he could still feel you, your lingering touch on his naked skin. he wanted to grap a hold of you and fly you away to somewhere only he could access, his windblume, his one and only. you didnt know it yet, but the winds became softer, yet more piecing. you will be his, whether you liked it or not.

you retuned to the church, and informed rosaria that you couldnt acquire the ingredients that she wanted. she scoffed and told you that she would get it herself, as she grabbed her spear and walked out of the wooden doors. you huffed and began to worship barbatos at the alter with everybody else. sometimes, when you pray, you could feel him. barbatos, i mean. he would comfort you, he would guide you, he would love and cherish you like how you love and cherish him. its what venti adored about you. you were always so personal, so cute, so small, so innocent. how could you possibly know that the annoying bard in town that flirted with you was your god.

it excites him

you excite him

and as long as the wind blows, and the ballads spread, you will always be on his mind. there is nothing you can do about it.

you know that now. he got you alone in a back ally of mondstat's streets and revealed himself as the almighty barbatos. you almost scoffed, how could a small, child-like man like him be the god that youve worshiped your entire life? but his eyes, there was something so different about them. it almost made you doubt your original thoughts.

"i thought you said youd never question your belief in me, darling!" he smiles at you, his arms which were pinned on either side of you on a wall, bended so his face was almost touching yours. you stayed silent and put your hands on his shoulder, weakly trying to push him away but with no success. you wouldve never guessed he was so strong. he leaned in again, his lips brushing against yours, the smell of alcohol prominent in his breath, eyes half-lidded and a sly smirk plastered onto his face. you whimpered.

"now now, shhh," he whispers, "i love you, dont you love me?" he questioned, tilting his head, "whenever you pray to me, you always say the sweetest things. so, why cant you do the same now hm? im right here, in the flesh," you froze in place as he leaned in again, teasing you, "come on now, y/n! you should be a good devotee and worship me, you should love me!" he kissed you, quick but hard, like hes been waiting to do this for years,

"love me like how i love you, my muse."

NAVIGATION ♡

[starshapedpetals]

REJET CALM DOWN BRO YOUVE MADE SO MANY DL MERCH LINES RECENTLY

but…i must talk abt it…i must..

overall i don’t adore this line but..he…i am so ever grateful for him ♡

💘💘 QUE LINDO 💘💘 PRECIOSO 💘💘 MI AMOR 💘💘

LET ME CUDDLE HIM. LET ME TAKE HIM TO BED, HOLD HIM CLOSE, KISS HIS PRETTY FACE THEN I’LL GO BAKE US SOME CINNAMON ROLLS BECAUSE ITS FALL!!!!! HE LOOKS SO 😭😭😭😭 he looks so soft,,,he looks so dear,,,,he looks angelic when he sleeps 🥺🥺🥺🥺

azusa looks so cute 🥺 we’ve been given more azusa with a beret 💘 how darling. although i do wish we could’ve seen him in smth like shin’s outfit. smth like the fanart outfit of mc from mystic messenger. big sweater that looks like shin’s with black arm sleeves & black bottoms. that’d also be super cute on azusa but he definitely looks cute here in this outfit too 💘 i would like to snuggle him up as well 💞

CARLA. WOULD IT KILL YOU TO STOP BEING HOT FOR FIVE MINUTES?! ITS SO SIMPLE BUT WHY DOES HE LOOK SO GOOD???

laito looks so aesthetic here..shuu too.. they look so pretty. they both looks so good with glasses..especially those glasses. they are absolutely in their element rn

reiji’s pose looks so weird without the glasses 😭 he’s cute tho <3

kou looks good but why does he look so upset? besides that he looks cute <33 i will cuddle him too

lil notes:

kino & shin look like such cuties 🥺 i like yuma’s outfit! ayato is giving teacher who has no idea how he became a teacher 😭 he looks great just so confused. subaru looks cute with glasses 🥺

[ganyuslily]

you hide an item important to them | genshin headcanons

— characters: albedo, diluc, zhongli

— category/extra notes: fluff, headcanons, scenarios, FIRST REQUEST PRETTY EXCITING, they might be a little bit ooc,,,,

— a little summary: “where their s/o hides an item important to the boys which when they ask their s/o they deny which they can see is a lie, they end up playfully fighting and end up cuddling together and being wholesome” — as requested by an anon!

a/n: I TRIED MY BEST,, i hope its up to your expectations! also i couldnt come up with anything for xiao T-T sorry for that,, zhonglis probably my favorite

albedo

hc that albedo has a specific pen that he uses for writing all his reports

its not like he has to use that particular pen but he just got so used to it that at this point it feels weird to not use it

so when one day the both of you are sitting together and he cant find it, he becomes kind of confused, especially because he was sure he had it just a second ago, before he went to get himself some tea

“love, did you maybe see my pen?” albedo asks you, still searching for the lost item.

“no, i didnt see it” you answer, trying your best to not show that u did, in fact, know where it was.

he looks at you in silence and after a second speaks up.

“oh, really?” he says, moving into your direction “i was pretty sure it was here a second ago, just before i left” he still keeps going, pushing you towards the wall “and considering you were the only one here, there isnt really any other person that couldve taken it”

now he has you trapped — his hands on the both sides of your head, leaning closer and closer.

you were kind of flustered — it wasnt like you would find yourself in that situation everyday and also you werent expecting him to catch on so quickly. on the other hand, it was albedo.

“so?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“okay, okay, youve got me!” you take out the pen from your pocket and give it to him. “i didnt know you still have it” you say, pushing him away gently.

“of course i have it, it was a present from you, after all” he answers, taking the item from you. he kisses you on the forehead, to which you smile.

“come one now, i have to write this report — you can sit next to me in the meantime”

diluc

he had this one specific ribbon that he always used to tie his hair

and so one morning when he was getting ready, he couldnt find it

naturally, he knew none if the staff couldve possibly taken it, so he asked the only person left

you

“darling, do you maybe know where my ribbon is? i couldve sworn i left it on the nightstand” he asks.

“oh, no, i have no idea where it is”

“really?” he asks, looking at your face. he could see some amusement in it and a sparkle of mischief in your eyes. “youre trying to tell me you have no idea where it is?”

“no diluc, i have no idea where it is” you say, walking up to him. you stared at him, a small smile tugging at your lips. “absolutely no idea” you repeat, not even trying to hide your amusement anymore, clearly seeing he saw through you.

“but!” you continue, seeing diluc smile at you softly “maybe, just maybe ill look for it when you hug me?” you look at him playfully, opening your arms.

diluc laughs lowly and wraps his arms around you. you sigh contently, burying you head in his neck. his hair tickles you a little bit, but you pay it no mind. you stay like this for a while.

“come on, ill tie your hair now — turn around for me”

zhongli

okay so you know how zhonglis always dressed up nicely, right?

and so because of that i think hed have a lot of sets of cufflinks

(cufflinks are items of jewelry that are used to secure the cuffs of dress shirts)

theyre sometimes given as a present so think hed probably have some that he got from his friends in the past and he kept them

so imagine his surprise when he tries to find this one specific pair one evening and he cant find them

“dear, did you see my cufflinks anywhere?” you can hear zhongli ask from the other room.

you try to contain your laughter as you can see him look through his box again and again.

“no, i sadly have no idea where they are” you answer, amusement visible in your voice. because of that, he turns around and straightens his back.

“not at all?” he asks, cuffing up his sleeves, looking you straight in the eyes. you hold his gaze, smiling wildly. you knew he already caught on that you hid them, but decided to play along anyways.

“not at all” you confirmed.

“what a shame” he sighs. he takes some steps in your direction. “i really thought you would know where they are” he cups your face “in fact, im pretty sure you know where they are” he tilts his head.

“hm, maybe youre right, after all” you say. “but i wont tell you just like that” you add.

to that, zhongli only smiles.

“well, maybe this will change your mind” he says and then begins to pepper your face with featherlight kisses.

one on your nose, on your cheeks, eyelids and forehead. it tickles a little bit, so you begin to laugh.

“fine, fine! you got me, i have them. here you go”

[daydream-believin]

MERLIN’S APPRENTICE & MERLIN’S CHAMPION || trollhunters

warnings: swearing

a/n: if rott gave me anything it gave me this idea

I KNOW I SAID “JUICY” BUT REALLY THAT WAS JUST THE ANGST POTENTIAL,, THAT IM NOT INDULGING IN THIS POST IM SORRY LMAO

OKAY WHAT IM REALLY TALKING BOUT HERE IS A GOOD MERLIN/ARTHUR BUT IT ACTUALLY WORKS

no sorry i haven’t seen bbc merlin don’t come for me i’m ignorant

OKAY SO

we know douxie kept an eye on the human trollhunter and co

but douxie’s really having a hard time convincing himself he’s just doing his job

he’s actually enjoying this a little too much despite how boring staying in the shadows is

and he’s kinda worried?

so he’s got this bright idea: you know what would better help him keeps tabs? if he befriends this person

and so he does

fuck merlin’s shadows

sod the rules

ofc he’s very up front about knowing they’re the trollhunter and that he’s merlin’s apprentice

we wouldn’t want that to become a huge festering secret that eats douxie from the inside out until the inevitable reveal when merlin calls them both to help with the arcane order and they realize they’ve both been lying to each other’s faces for months/years and neither of them know if they could ever trust the other again, right? — phew *catches breath*

but before you know it, mr. casperan and mx. trollhunter are best friends

he’s basically the toby to your jim

and you’re very happy to have a best friend like douxie

he understands that monster hunting hustle

he’s the only person you can vent to and actually talk about what’s going on without sounding like a loon

and douxie likes being able to tell someone all his frustrations with merlin, since you’re also in that boat with him

you spar sometimes. it’s fun, but you’re very careful not to accidentally hurt your friend (he’s extremely careful not to hurt you or wound your ego by effortlessly wiping you out)

ofc, there’s the occasional, brushing of hands, faces a little too close together, accidentally winding up on top of one another, purposefully winding up on top of one another 👀 you know how sparring be

you and douxie are a duo. a duo who have become trollmarket’s resident troublemakers, to vendel’s exasperation

you guys tease each other a lot

you do a lot of stupid shit, cause hey, now you have magic armor and a magic sword and a magic best friend, did you think you wouldn’t get up to some shenanigans?

douxie is your impulse control and he’s not a very good one, as he’s just as bad

truthfully archie has the brain cell

and pranks? gods the pranks. you two are always either pranking each other or you’re teaming up to prank some other troll who said smth mean to you in the pub. vendel had to personally put a stop to it (read: chew you out)

doux thinks the world of you tho, you’re such a noble knight, and likes to tell people about how you’re a cinnamon roll, so innocent, so pure

and then they meet you and you directly contradict those statements

trollhunter: i’ve never done anything wrong in my life, ever

douxie: i know this and i love you

(spoiler: you’ve done lots and lots of wrong)

doux spends an awful lot of time slinking around trollmarket now, and he’s in the know for everything that’s happening

(no more being kept in the dark for this wizard apprentice)

and doux knows merlin won’t completely approve of this, but hey, it’s not like he’s helping and thus directly disobeying

really, he’s not helping you at all, it’s really fucking annoying

okay so mayyybe the occasional healing spell. you’ve got those puppy dog eyes he can’t say no to

but you understand his sense of duty, or whatever it is that drives a follower, technically being a follower of merlin yourself

you respect the old geezer (as you have not been turned into a half-troll yet) as a wise mythical figure, and as your best friend’s father

and what a perfect match you are for each other, champion and apprentice, mutually being screwed over by a guy you both think has all the answers

you and douxie help each other grow in your self-worths, that you two are more than the chances merlin has given to you

unfortunately, mortifyingly, you have caught feelings.

douxie has also caught feelings, and is saying nothing yep you have enough on your plate without him putting this on you so he’ll just quietly pine and suffer don’t mind him choking to death in the corner when you take off your helmet and throw back your hair

y’all’s problem really starts manifesting itself as protectiveness. you are really protective of your wizard and he is really protective of his knight

lots of things said that are Not What Friends Say but neither of you really want to be the one to point that out

lots and lots of i love yous that slowly get more and more serious until it’s not exactly platonic anymore

and it’s just really nice to have someone to get coffee (or your favored hot drink) with at four in the morning after a tussle with a troll

and that’s basically how you and douxie spend the bulk of trollhunters, just vibing

as much as you can vibe, with all the changelings and shit trying to murder you all the time

then merlin wakes up and shakes up your world

you are aware of your impending doom

you’re aware of it

merlin keeps looking you up and down like he’s mentally making up the measurements of your coffin

and tbh the idea of fighting gunmar freaks you tf out

and you’re supposed to win that fight?

gods

you’re preparing for your nightmares coming true soon

truthfully you knew your fucking job had a 100% mortality rate

you don’t want to die with regrets

so

you spill

you spill all the things you’d wanted to tell him and how much he means to you and that you couldn’t bear it if you were a goner before he knew

miraculously, douxie feels the same and tells you all the things he’d been holding back and and what you mean to him and how much he wants to protect you, that you’re gonna make it, if he had anything to say about it

and everything is perfect for one night

now you have a real reason to win

not that saving humanity isn’t a big responsibility on your shoulders and definitely A Reason

but knowing douxie’s waiting for you, for the life you’ll build together after this, the peace you’ll both have, it’s absolutely a big motivation to give your all and come out victorious and survive

hahaha loser you don’t know about the arcane order

and then merlin uses your microwave to cook a weird potion

you and merlin are alone in the house, but there’s no real mind games necessary. you may have grown past thinking he was a god, but in the end, you’re still a follower of merlin, and if merlin thinks this could give you an edge, well, who are you to question his methods

doesn’t mean you aren’t nervous as your master hands you the bottle

yet you don’t even hesitate to drown yourself in the black abyss of the tub

whatever it takes amirite?

and now you’re a half-troll

a sexy half-troll, if you do say so yourself

yeah, no ‘i’m a monster’ angst here, you’re loving the power-up

you’ve got to treat it like a cool new power-up or you will cry actually tbh i lied about the no-angst thing a new body is disorienting

your only real concern is douxie

not concerned for long tho, he sees you and the first thing out of his mouth is “nuclear!”

and he senses your concern, so he does go out of his way to assure you that boy, girl, enby, or half-troll, he loves you for your soul, darling

also again half-troll! you is hot as hell so he’s not really losing anything here 👀

he makes sure you know that too, not to let any insecurities fester

him raking his eyes up and down you gives the opposite effect of the dread merlin sent down your spine doing it

anyways,,,

doux helps out a lot more in the eternal night

like helps merlin re-defeat and re-seal morgana

he’ll do it again in few weeks but with a bigger role you know, this is practice

thank merlin for that edge YOU ARE THE LAST TROLLHUNTER YOU ARE VICTORIOUS YOUVE GOT GUNMARS HEAD IN YOUR HANDS HAHAHA

but now you’ve got to go to new jersey

douxie’s been instructed to stay in arcadia tho 🥺

it’s okay, you’ll see each other again soon

sooner than you realize

and until then you talk each other to sleep every night over the phone <3

merlins glad, actually. he’s glad hisirdoux found some solace. even if it is with the lamb he was raising for the slaughter. maybe things will go okay for them. the time map suggests it might be so

hisirdoux may have done things in a way he didn’t quite approve of, but that’s because he’s becoming his own wizard, and merlin is proud

[missmorosis]

here’s our bus route map for my bus ride! (masterlist!)

here’s the original event post :)

HI EVERYONE!! i just wanted to thank you all for your participation BECAUSE AAAAAA YOU GUYS DELIVERED AND UGH I WAS LITERALLY SO WORRIED NOBODY WAS GONNA WRITE ANYTHING BUTSJFLKFASDF

ALL OF YOU ARE SO TALENTED OKAY??? LIKE BYE I WAS BLOWN AWAY

I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS EVENT HEHEHE I LOVE ALL OF YOU SO SO MUCH!! AND THE FACT THAT YOU SPENT TIME ON THIS EVENT 😭😭MWAH MWAHH

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR 400!! MUCH LOVE AND HUGS AND KISSES :D

ALSO SORRY AHHA THIS WAS POSTED SO LATE

WE IGNORE HOW IT’S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO GET FROM LA TO LONDON VIA BUS JKDFJKFJK

here’s how i formatted it!

title- author’s @!

pairing genre warnings word count their summary that they made

-> my review!

let’s take a look at our map...

starting from LA, heading to bilbao! we’ll stop along the bus stops on our way! 

and yes im aware that the route is going in a weird, illogical way if bilbao is our last stop, shush i wasnt thinking when i made bilbao our last city KJDFJKS

masterlist under the cut!!

now arriving at... los angeles, California!

-> write an AU!! the AU can be literally anything: royalty AU? road trip AU? GO FOR IT!! just as long as it’s not in the canon era hehehe

first stop... “something only the stars know” - @luvoratomi​ 

pairing: suna rintarou x gn!reader genre: secret relationship au, royal au, crown prince!suna, knight!reader, established relationship, fluff, angst  word count: 544 their summary: in which you and crown prince, suna rintarou, find comfort in each other’s arms underneath the moonlight, where only the stars are witnesses of your love.

-> my review: um. nayru. OKAY IM CONSTANTLY BLOWN AWAY BY YOUR TALENT AND THIS IS NO EXCEPTION. i dont even KNOW who rintarou is but im in love with him. ALSO I DONT THINK IVE EVER READ A ROYAL AU BUT KLASDFJ THIS WAS SO?? WELL?? WRITTEN?? ive reread it at LEAST 5 times.   

next stop... an untitled zombie au from @eunoianthia

pairing: yamaguchi tadashi x female!reader genre: zombie au, angst :) warnings: a lot of angst, death, a bit of gore? word count: 1.1k their summary: going to Los Angeles was a dream, and you were finally achieving it. It’s like a dream come true, going to Los Angeles and your boyfriend tagging along? What could go wrong?

-> my review: OKAY WAIT THIS IS THE FIRST ZOMBIE AU IVE EVER READ. like EVER. AND WHAT I DIDNT EXPECT IT TO HURT THIS MUCH. i- the ending- PLEASE I- i dont even know what to say. how COULD YOU.

now arriving at... 3:38 am from @arquitecturadelanada​​

pairing: zuko x fem!reader genre: roommates au, i would say fluff! warnings: none! word count: 1.1k their summary: As sokka’s best man zuko has to write a heartfelt speech for the wedding day, the only issue? he doesn’t believe in love, but maybe his roommate can change his perception on the matter.

-> my review: so youre saying this whole time youve been supporting my writing when YOU WRITE BETTER THAN I DO?? ugh you’re so talented this isn’t funny, and this fic ALMOST MAKES ME WANT TO BECOME AN ATLA BLOG AGAIN BAHHA- “he noticed he was considerably less stressed just by hearing his roommate’s voice” IM GONNA CRY​​

last stop... “what are the odds” from @hikariakaashi​ 

pairing: kuroo x fem!reader genre: roommates au, i would say fluff! warnings: none! word count: 3.2k their summary: it was an act of desperation, to say the least, downloading the app lev recommended for him. but he was in dire need of a wedding date. so when kuroo opened up the brightly colored app titled rent a girlfriend, he knew he was in for an interesting evening.

-> my review: so uh 1) i remember writing a review for this and i have no idea where it went IM SO SORRY DSKJFJ and 2) i would do anything for kuroo to be my bf even if it was just my job 😩😩 and 3) um ??? YOURE SO TALENTED?? MISS MA’AM??

now arriving at... london, england!

-> breakup fic time </3 you can make it an angsty breakup, or a fluffy exes to lovers!

first stop... “i love(d) you”- @floralkawa​

pairing: tsukishima x reader! genre: angst! warnings: none! word count: 300 their summary: one where tsukishima never showed his love. making it onesided, leading poor f/n on in a bitter relationship. of course, no one can handle it forever, can they ?

-> my review: this is the reason why i dont like angst. i felt this IN MY HEART, OKAY? NOELLE YOU LIED & SAID YOU COULDN’T WRITE FEELINGS. i hate it I HATE IT I HATE IT. but ugh youre talented enough to pull anything off and your angst is PROBABLY the only ones ill read willingly :( 

next stop... “i should have seen the signs”- @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner

pairing: oikawa x reader! genre: angst! warnings: none! word count: 2k their summary: going to the city of love and london was supposed to be an exhilarating vacation after a long week of exams. as it seems, love is fake and so is toru oikawa.

-> my review: um. this kinda hurted me tho. how am i even allowed to be friends with you like ?? miss ma’am? YOURE SO TALENTED??? i hate angst and ill say it again: I HATE ANGST. IT HURTS IT HUUUURRTSS. OIKAWA MY BABY WOULD NEVER DO THAT BUT HE DID. I CANSTEALK I CANT DEAL WITH THIS 

now arriving at... berlin, germany!

first stop... “Spring Chills”- @wesokkasimp

pairing: oikawa x reader! genre: fluff! warnings: none! word count: 447 their summary: you and Oikawa go for a walk on a chilly spring day. beware: banter ahead

-> my review: 😐😑😐 my heart wasn’t prepared for this. AND!! I BET Y/N LOOKED GREAT IN THAT TANK TOP; OIKAWA BETTER HAVE GIVEN HIS JACKET TO HER AFTERWARDS. jacket + tank top = cute outfit smh

next up... “warm and fuzzy”- @oikawaplssteponme​

pairing: kuroo x reader! genre:  fluff, a hint of angst, childhood friends to lovers, ‘boy next door’ warnings: one swear word, kuroo calls the reader ‘pretty’ however no gender pronouns are used, mini make out word count: 1.4k their summary: n/a but a quote: "The lights in your room were dim. Their golden-yellow tone shone above you, though you paid little attention to what was going on inside your room. You were much more interested in what was happening outside.”

-> my review: wait this actually reminds me of me and my front door neighbor GOODBYE AKLSJDF I MISS HIM :( ANYWAYS BAHHAHA- see you never miss 😐 i think awkward tetsu is underrated BYEALKSF THIS WAS SO CUTE I CANTASEKL

last stop... “ice cold”- @kyotarou​

pairing: tsukishima x reader genre:  fluff! warnings: bit of fanon tsukki, mutual pining, smidge of angst, fluff word count: 700+ their summary: n/a but a quote: “Asshole was the best word to describe Tsukishima Kei. He was an asshole to his peers, and it didn’t change towards you, his best friend.”

-> my review: mY TSUKISHIMA HEART OMG- okay OKAY I THOUGHT I GREW OUT OF MY LOVE FOR HIM BUT ITS ALL COMING BACK ASLKJFDL- oh to share a jacket and be vulnerable with tsukishima ✋😩 once again bestie youre so talented it isnt funny

now arriving at... bilbao, spain!

our only stop in this city... "break-in”- @kohi-zeri​​

pairing: iwazumi x reader! genre:  fluff!! warnings: mentions of food and common illnesses, use of “darling” and “brat” word count: 1.4k their summary: n/a but a quote: “there’s something so… infuriating about having a migraine. especially when it’s uncalled for.”

-> my review: i cant express to you how much i love sickfics. like JLSDFLJKFSALJ SADFL I CANT- ALSO I READ THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME WHEN I HAD THE WORST HEADACHE SO WHENEVER MY HEAD HURTS I COME REREAD THIS BAHAHHA-

here’s what some of our passengers are saying...

one passenger says “Wait. Stand right there, I want to take a picture of you.”

“pretty petals, pretty pictures”- @shxyo-sho​​​

pairing: iwazumi x reader! genre: fluff, mutual pining, just two best friends crushing on each other warnings: none! word count: 590 their summary: If you could describe your best friend, Kiyoko, in one word; what would it be? I would pick the word, flawless.

-> my review: repeat after me: kiyoko is a queen. and YOU DO HER JUSTICE I ASFDLKJ PLEASE- in all honesty i would be blushing if kiyoko said a word to me too- y/n you arent alone ✋😩

another passenger asks “Why aren’t you asleep?”

"night owl”- @atlabeth​​​​

pairing: sokka x reader! genre: fluff! warnings: stress over school and one (1) curse, but other than that it’s pure fluff word count: 907 their summary: If you could describe your best friend, Kiyoko, in one word; what would it be? I would pick the word, flawless.

-> my review: alright this isnt fair where is my irl sokka 😐 YOURE BRINGING ME BACK INTO MY ATLA DAYSDF LKSJA- not complaining tho I LOVE SOKKA SO MUCH. and “But for a “fairly smart person”, you made a lot of bad decisions.” THATS TOO RELATABLE STOP IT RIGHT NOW SFKDJK

HEHEHEHEH THANK YOU AGAIN!! SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG GOOD BYE

[imagines-mha]

1-A boys and their toxic traits

this is controversial but SOMEONE had to say it

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Deku: bro. i’m so sorry first of all i feel like i need to apologise bc his CAREER is his first love forever. and his mom’s his second. You’re actually lucky to score third on the list lmao he just doesn’t have the TIME for anything but working for his corrupt hero system smh 🤦🏼‍♀️

Bakugo: i. noah fence but do i even have to explain xx. He’s the type of mf to be like “hey btw noone can know about us bc im highkey embarrassed to be seen w you so dont tell anyone”. No fucks given about how you take it. Like ok luv chile lemme just real quick hide under ur bed when ur friends r here smh x

Todoroki: ok if he had to have a toxic trait it’d just be that he finds affection SO hard to understand. Like he’ll smother you for 2 weeks and then go MIA for the other 2 it takes a LOT to teach him so u gotta have patience. Also the WORST at texting back and he replies with K. when he’s not even mad smh

Iida: okay. I know us iida stans love his uptightness- its adorable i know. But SO HELP ME GOD IF IT ISNT ANNOYING IN A RELATIONSHIP. You’ll try kiss him in his room and he’s like “y/n NOT IN THE DORMS YOU HEATHEN!!!!!! YOU IMBECILE!!!!!! YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!!” Will still also shout at you for running in the halls lmao you get no special treatment when it comes to his strictness

Kirishima: Ok controversial controversial. He’s the best boyfriend you’ll ever have...once you actually GET THERE. He doesn’t think he deserves you, like at all- so the entire crushing/mutual pining period he’s giving you the maddest mixed signals. Like one night youre ridin him like a shetland pony and the next day ur like “hey kiri youre cute” and he looks at you like youve just broke into his home and licked his bedsheets like wtf

Kaminari: DID SOMEONE SAY UNINTENTIONAL FLIRT. Me i did x. The poor thing he really doesnt mean it in THAT way when he calls jirou beautiful or says that momo’s outfit’s really hot. He just LIKES BEING NICE. Its not HIS FAULT GIRLS GET THE WRONG IDEA WHEN HE HAS A 60 DAY STREAK WITH THEM ON SNAPCHAT AND TAKES THEM OUT MINI GOLFING. He’s so dumb sometimes smh. He is really apologetic tho BUT HE STILL DOESNT UNDERSTAND

sero: he’s such a free spirit but like, not at the same time? He just wants to straight up vibe and have a good time, and if you’re someone who complains a lot/ argues he’s quick to shut you down, and he goes for blood sometimes when he argues like,,, oof. He very rarely loses his temper but he’ll hit you with those cut-deep personal insults and sigh like you’re the bane of his existence smh

Kouda: the only thing is that he kinda expects you to do all the flirting. Like he’s affectionate but he’s like “i get too flustered calling you beautiful so as a result you’ll live forever wondering if i really love you or not xox” like MANNNN. He loves ur attention too so he kinds just basks in the compliments like a happy puppy but like,,, KODA SMH UR NOT A BABY FOREVER GROW UP

ojiro: if you saw him when you needed defended in a fight no you didn’t ❤️. This mf will go MIA. Off the fuckin GRID. The second you’re in an argument with someone. He’s like “i just like keeping peace y/n i never fight with ANYONE love and peace for life 😎✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻” but then the next week you see him arguing with kaminari front and centre in the lounge like a fuckin nativity play? If you need a big strong man to save you from getting beat up, just call kirishima instead save ur time luv

Tokoyami: bro im so sorry sometimes he makes you feel like u have the reading level of a 5 year old he’s like an alt tiktok gatekeeper ekfneidnw. If you don’t own DMs he’s JUDGING YOU. “My darling… i wrote you another poem…” *proceeds to speak with the most COMPLICATED vocabulary he’s like “i will now articulate to you my heart via song” n u just nod and pretend u have a fuckin clue

Sato: lmao what’s a diet??? eat my food or i’ll take it personal. Can’t get it through his head when you tell him youre only not eating every damn cake and muffin he makes because you don’t wanna break out in acne/ get unhealthy. Like this man will give you the most HURT look and be like “b-but y/n...i made them just for you…” he’ll NEVER understand

Aoyama: “look at beautiful specimen in the mirror y/n…” he says, carressing your arms and kissing your temples, “oh- and you’re here too!” smh he has a marvellous time reminding YOU how lucky YOU are to be with him, like you werent the one to save him from his lonely little life and pick all his spirits off the ground,,, he’s so vain ay the worst of times

Shouji: be honest w u he’s not toxic at all the only toxic thing about shouji mezo that’s toxic is the little bitch who cried when they saw his face and made him cover it up forever ugh

[vfdbaudelairefile13]

Misery Loves Company Part 2:

Meet Esmé Squalor:

The city's sixth most important financial advisor, powerhouse fashionista, and fixated on revenge coke addict. Esmé takes no time showing the orphans that she is just as scary and dangerous as Olaf and sometimes they think she is the worst of the two. Esmé has one thing on her mind and that is her precious sugar bowl which she vows she will steal back or she will burn the entirety of VFD down trying.

Esmé has no problem with any of the vicious acts that Olaf suggests. She is down for just about anything he has in mind. Murder? Yes. Very in. Kidnapping? Yes. Completely In. Arson? Yes. The innest thing since aqueous martinis. And making sure a young child is never able to sleep peacefully again? In her words that 'deliciously in'. The children have a new villain to watch out for and believe it or not...shes more unstable than Olaf.

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[Trigger warning: subtle and not so subtle hints at Esme and Olafs hideous and devious intentions with teenaged orphans. Please read with caution]

Olaf was driving like an absolute psychopath as he raced from the burning hospital to the rundown carnival in the hinterland. He was angry. He felt defeated. Not only did those three blasted orphans escape his clutches AGAIN, now apparently someone had survived one of the fires...which one? He did not know. But that bastard, Jacques Snicket, seemed so sure of it when Olaf was watching that video. *stupid fucking VFD and their stupid fucking members escaping their well deserved deaths!* he thought as he growled as loud as he could. And to make matters worse while he was driving this way all he could think about was the woman who broke his heart so many years ago and so many times since then because he was driving just like her.

"YOU IDIOTS LET MY PRETTY LITTLE PET RUN AWAY!" He yelled hitting his fists as hard as he could on the steering wheel.

"Well technically boss..." the bald man spoke up. "She didn't *run away* the bookworm rolled her away on a gurney,"

Olaf growled again. "Oh. How I *cannot* wait to obliterate *that* brat! Oh, he thinks I've been brutal before, he hasnt the faintest fucking idea! And if you dont shut your mouth YOU WILL FEEL MY WRATH AS WELL!" Olaf yelled.

Now everyone in the car shifted a little, even Esmé who was unamused at the whole situation but kind of fearing for her life as he drove like a unpredictable madman. But...when I say that everyone in the car shifted a little...I mean *everyone* and even the three secret passengers in the trunk shifted a little especially Klaus Baudelaire who started to shake.

"Klaus...Klaus...you're fine," Violet whispered desperately reaching around for his hand. Once she found it she squeezed his hand tightly trying to keep him in reality with her and Sunny.

"We shouldnt have gotten in this trunk," Klaus whispered back. "He is going to kill Sunny and I...and..." he stopped talking when he looked towards Violet, who frowned. Both older orphans knew what Olaf would do to Violet if given the chance. Hell, both older orphans knew what Esme wanted to do with Klaus if given the chance. They both feared that even Sunny, by now,  Had a faint idea of what Olaf was talking about. "Why did....you *make me*... get in his trunk," klaus cried as he began to sob. Sunny turned her head towards her brother.

"Shhhh," Sunny pleaded. "Quiet," she reminded Klaus.

"We're going to die..." he whispered fearfully.

Violet frowned as she held klaus' hand tighter and grabbed Sunnys hand with her free hand. "I got you guys," she whispered. "I'll always protect you,"

"We know," sunny whispered back.

"Can you believe there is a SURVIVOR!?" Olaf shouted and then he screamed in pure anger. "Just when Ithought I was winning! I framed them for my MURDER for fucks sake! I HAD that pretty little brat!" He screamed angrily.

Violet shuddered and Sunny put a comforting hand in hers.

Esme scoffed and rolled her eyes when he mentioned Violet being 'pretty' again. He turned to her. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

"HOW THE FUCK IS THIS *MY* FAULT!?" She asked angrily. "It was YOUR idea to use the girl as bait!"

"But you let the Baudelaires take the Snicket bitch right out the operating theater!"

"YOU SET THE HOSPITAL ON FIRE! I GOT THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!" she yelled. "He was standing right next to YOU. Why didnt ypu do anything!"

"HE WAS HOLDING THE LARGE KNIFE YOU GAVE TO HIM!" Olaf yelled back. "The plan was to use the girl as BAIT! NOT have him actually kill her! She is our key to BOTH fortunes!"

Esme gave a wicked smirk. "Oh...that was the plan? I must've forgot,"

"You pathetic jealous bitch!" He yelled.

"Oh *Im* pathetic? You've lost to these children for MONTHS now!"

"YOUVE LOST TO THEM TOO!"

"If I was in charge of this entire thing, those two girls would be dead and the boy would be our little prisoner," Esme replied wickedly smiling.

This made Klaus shiver and Sunny put her free hand in his the same way she had for Violet.

"You wouldnt have the SNICKET fortune if you killed the Snicket bitch you dumb bitch!"

Esme smiled wickedly at Olaf again. "I dont need Lemony's fortune...hell, unlike *you* I dont need Beatrice's fortune either," she laughed. "No what *I* want is to make *Beatrice's little mommy's boy suffer* " Esme tapped her long nails against her window. "Of course I also want back what's *mine*!"

Olaf rolled his eyes. "*So do I*!" He screamed. "But NOW one or two of them might not be inheritors of ANYTHING! SINCE THERES A FUCKING SURVIVOR!"

"Darling...youre honestly looking at *that* all wrong. I think this is good news," Esme replied

 Olaf responded by pushing his foot harder on the pedal.

"How is that a GOOD THING!?" hr asked.

"Well...think about it. Whoever it is. We will get to kill," esme pointed out. "I personally hope its Beatrice. I'd love to kill that sugar bowl snatching bitch...ooooh and we could make her children watch!"

"Or we can torture her children in front of her," Olaf pointed out smiling.

"Who do you think the survivor is boss?" The hook handed man asked.

"I dont know. If its Bertrand...well that's the least exciting option. But Esme's right...if its Beatrice, torturing her or her precious son and daughter would be fun."

"What about Snicket?" The henchperson of indeterminate gender asked.

Olaf pushed hard on the brakes causing everyone to ram forward a bit. His car came to a screeching halt. Violet, who had the misfortune of getting into the trunk first was squished harshly against the end of the trunk as Klaus tried to shift himself away from violet to give her room. Violet had let go of Klaus' hand in attempt to shield Sunny from hitting anything. Olaf turned around to face his henchperson. "I doubt that its Snicket...but...if it is...let's just say when I find his pretty pipsqueak daughter...I will make him watch as I *destroy* her entirely and then I will make her watch as I murder her father agonizingly slow and then I'll murder that stupid fucking bookworm and biting brat in front of her too," he hissed causing Violet to start shaking.

He took a deep breath and began driving again. Esme huffed in annoyance as the hook handed man did his best to hide a disgusted face.

Klaus looked to Vi. "Speaking of that...did he...?"

Violet wiped a few tears from her eyes. "I dont know...while I was conscious, no. Esme kept barging in before he could do more than touch my face or leg. But... when I was unconscious...I dont know. Wouldnt I know? Like...wouldnt I feel different?" She whispered as she began to sob quietly.

Klaus sighed. He didnt know the answer to that. He just gave Violet a small smile. "Yes, I think you would feel different. So if you feel the same then he didnt," he lied as he shifted his arm under her head to give her head some support. He had no way of knowing...and he feared that Violet would never get a true answer.

Violet nestled closer to Klaus and Sunny as she shivered form the cold mountain air that seeked in through the bullet holes of Olafs trunk. Klaus and Sunny could hear her whimpers and shivers. Klaus tried his best to take off his suit jacket from where he laid but he couldnt. Sunny shifted to lay more on Violet to act as a blanket for her. "Violet..." klaus whispered.

"Yeah," she replied back in a hushed tone as she wiped a few tears from her eyes.

"I just wanna say this... if I ever find out that he *did* hurt you or if he ever *does* hurt you like *that*...or if he continues to try to hurt you like *that* **I'll castrate him myself...**" klaus whispered. Violet looked towards her brother and even in the cold, dark trunk of their worst nightmare's car, she could see the dark look in his eyes.

"Klaus...you dont..."

"Oh you're right," he replied. "I'll hold him down and let you do it if youd rather.."

Violet gave a small chuckle to that.

"Darling! I've been thinking about what you said back in crow town,"

"What did I say back in crow town?" Olaf asked confused as he continued to drive like a psycho.

"Well... you said that the boy was much more fun to torture than either one of the girls...and *you're right!*" Esme recalled. "So why dont we just keep him,"

Olaf growled. "Wr are keeping the Snicket bitch! That little tease has another thing coming..."

"We are keeping the boy..." esme demanded in a tone that made Klaus shudder.

"Why dont we just keep who we catch first?" The hook handed man replied. "Besides when we left the hospital the brats were stuck in a utility closet...I doubt they all made it out,"

Olaf snickered at this. "It would be nice if one or two of them burned to a crisp...just like their parents," he began smiling and laughing.

"Well, except the survivor," the henchperson of indeterminate gender replied.

This sent Olaf into another screaming and raging fit.

Esme rubbed her temples. "I just want my sugar bowl...that's it...that's all. I'm down with murder, kidnapping, and making it to where little children cant have another peaceful night of sleep but I AM NOT DOWN WITH THE YELLING AND THE INSANE DRIVING!!!!"

"Fuck off...we are almost to Caligari Carnival. Then we can ask Madame Lulu where to find that little Snicket tease and the two other ugly brats," Olaf replied.

Esme rolled her eyes. *I will kill that fucking brat. Hes not touching any girl related to that bitch Katherine* she thought as she continued to rub her temples. 

Esme was not someone who was used to someone telling her that she cant have her way. She was too rich, beautiful, and powerful for *that* bullshit but as she sat in the passenger seat of Olaf's car she was beginning to think that shed have to take matters into her own hands if she was going to get what she wanted. Olaf seemed determined to have the Snicket brat as a captive...and Esme would rather have the infant than the Snicket girl.

"Do we have any wine? I'm parched and I heard wine is very in this time of year,"

"We have some in the trunk. I would be happy to get it if we stopped," the hook handed man replied.

The three children froze. Violet put her arm around Sunny tightly as Klaus put his arm around Violet to hold her and Sunny, who laid on top of Violet hoping to keep her warm, put a loving hand on Violet and her other on Klaus. Their hearts stopped as Olaf stopped the car.

[xmalereader]

Theseus Scamander X Male Reader

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|| Masterlist ||

@int0nerthree

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Request: Hi, me again! I had an idea for a really fluff-filled fic with Theseus! I was imagining him and the reader living together but Theseus kept noticing cuts and stuff on his boyfriend’s face and he finally asks where they came from and the reader admits he doesn’t know how to shave so Theseus teaches him by showing him he does it on himself and then guiding the readers hand so they don’t nick themselves and Theseus just being really gentle with him? Haha, I hope I communicated this properly.

Warnings: Fluffy, cute boyfriends, Wizards, gentleness

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Y/n winced as he touched his face, grumbling from the small scars and cuts that he has given himself in the past few days. Biting his lip he held out his wand and mumbled a soft spell that would cover up the small wounds. He’s been doing this for awhile now and he’s gotten used to it, the only thing is that his boyfriend of three years still hasn’t notice the dumb stuff that he has been up too. He uses this spell every day to cover up his cuts for rest of the day and around Theseus he didn’t want his own boyfriend to tease him about his clumsiness. So he would hide himself from him and continue on like his day was normal. During his time in the ministry, y/n’s Job was to work in the daily prophet he was good at writing down stories and keeping up with the world and it gave him the advantage the travel around the world! But instead he decided to stay here in London and help out Theseus, they’ve been living together for awhile now and he’s been loving the feeling to waking up in his boyfriends arms in the early mornings. One afternoon, y/n stood inside the bathroom a she stared down at the razor, biting his lip as he taps his finger and groans. “Come on y/n you’ve gotta start learning.” He whispered to himself, y/n didn’t grow much stumble but he still liked keeping his face clean so everyday he would try to shave. Holding the razor in hand he placed it against his skin gently and slowly began to move it down. Wincing as he felt a small cut he quickly pulls it away and sighs, “I’m never gonna learn…” he whispered and cleans his face with water and used a towel to dry off his face. Only leaving small blood stains on the towel. Sighing, he didn’t even try to clean it up and just gave up instead. Sitting down, he leans his head back with a loud groan and used his hands to cover his face. “Screw It! I’ll just grow a beard or a mustache.” He pouts. “But you wouldn’t look good with either a beard or mustache.” Y/n gasps as he sat up quickly to see Theseus standing by the doorway as he hangs up His coat. “Afternoon Darling, something wrong?” He asks casually. “How long have you been there?” Theseus could only chuckle. “I’ve been here for awhile now, what seems to be the problem?” Y/n bites his lip and shakes his head. “It’s nothing.” Gripping there towel that was around his neck. Theseus could only raise a brow as he kicked off his shoes and approached his boyfriend. Bending down to grips his chin and pulls him forward, inspecting his face. “Why are you all cut up?” Y/n’s eyes widen. He immediately uses the towel to cover it up. “It’s nothing! Just fell and all.” He giggled out nervously and stands up. He began to walk backwards to try and avoid Theseus but the Scamander brother wasn’t dumb. Using his wand he flicks it towards y/n. “Petrificus Totalus.” He hears the young gasp as he froze in spot. He watched as Theseus approach’s and removes the towel away from him. “Are this razor cuts?” He continued to check y/n’s face before waving his wand again, causing the spell to ware off. Y/n shivers as he was able to move again and coughs, “I was trying to shave…but I kept cutting himself and I didn’t know how…” he plays with the edges of the towel shyly as he waits for Theseus to say something only to hear a muffled laugh. “Stop laughing! It’s not funny!!” He shouts. Theseus laughs, “It’s a little funny!” He respondes back. Y/n’s cheeks go red as he continues to pout at his boyfriend. “C’mon.” Theseus takes a hold of his hand and drags him to the bathroom to teach his silly boyfriend how to properly shave. It took a few minutes ( hours actually ) to teach y/n how to shave well. Theseus would gently move the razor against his skin without hurting him and would rinse it off each time he shaves. Y/n watched careful through the mirror and blushed in embarrassment as his boyfriend helps him with shaving. After they finished, y/n was able to wash his face properly without anymore cuts. He turns around to face Theseus with a smile. “Thank you.” He whispered out. “Your welcome darling, now it’s time for my reward!”

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: how much you got on you rn Ronnie: enough for me Ronnie: you aint piggybacking Joe: enough for me then Joe: not suggesting you send it first class Joe: 'less you know how to do that Ronnie: I do but in what world mckenna Joe: however much you reckon you'd need to do it Joe: i'll double it Ronnie: use that ingenuity for your own score Joe: yeah whatever Joe: all chat Ronnie: like ive got anything to prove to you Ronnie: least of all how well i can be your bitch when you holler at me Ronnie: cry is more accurate Joe: fuck sake Joe: forget about it Joe: it's a stupid idea Joe: you gonna give me a better one Ronnie: not one for the scrapbook was it cunt Ronnie: dry your eyes & do your own running Ronnie: you need me to hold your hand everytime now Ronnie: big enough to take it go find it Joe: ha ha Joe: like I'm running anywhere Ronnie: this where we play doctor yeah Ronnie: you tell me how bad it hurts & I make it better for you Joe: exactly Joe: now we're on the same page Ronnie: nah you think you can tear out some pages & spit ball em at me to get my attention but why should I give a shit bout these playground games boy just 'cause you heading back home to your mammy Ronnie: im sound Ronnie: dont care how loud you're crying she's the one who's gotta show up for that Joe: i don't want yor attention Joe: i want some heroin Ronnie: maybe she's still got old school connections Ronnie: find her little black book son Joe: maybe Joe: one of you could be useful like Ronnie: wounded & bleeding Ronnie: shit junkie you are house full of people to shake up & shit to steal but you coming to me Joe: just looking for that big sisterly advice Joe: obviously Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: you sound like the littlest one what is he 4 like Joe: feel it Ronnie: trying to make my heart bleed now yeah Ronnie: grow a fucking pair before it really hurts Joe: if you wanted to scare me you shouldn't have given me the gear Joe: realistically too late anyway but who wants to hear or think about my idyllic childhood yeah Ronnie: if you couldnt hack it you shouldve cried off then Ronnie: save the tears now Joe: and i thought i was the only one with obsessive thought spirals Joe: when i get some i'll remember to feel good about how much you miss me Ronnie: like youre special baby Ronnie: please Ronnie: weve all got mad minds hows that not clicked in yours Ronnie: how many kids shes squeezed out & you reckon were the only self medicating Ronnie: hit up another sibling to fix you Joe: am though Joe: she's always told me Joe: ⭐ boy Ronnie: talk her up with that foreplay Ronnie: be good for £££s Joe: no tah Joe: not my type Joe: and it's only ever worked on you Joe: but you've given me another idea so cheers Ronnie: i dunno whats funnier that youre trying to tell me you dont wanna slip your mum one or you reckon you know what works on me Joe: lemme know when you work it out Joe: 👍 Ronnie: let me know when youve stopped playing happy families Joe: you reckon i wanna be here Ronnie: didnt see no fingernail marks on my floor or walls Ronnie: still reckon you were dragged though yeah Joe: check your thighs Joe: ain't all perks being the favourite 💔 Ronnie: [sends him pics cos that bitch haha] Ronnie: grow a pair whipping boy Ronnie: before she says jump youre on the ledge Ronnie: its pathetic mckenna Joe: see Joe: ain't been that long Joe: only feels it, babe Ronnie: you'll need all that sweet talk for the local dope dealer Ronnie: but if you wanna think of me when you're turning tricks for them it'll go easier Joe: lovely as that'd be Joe: not in progressive london now Joe: gonna have to pay like the rest, worst luck Ronnie: go beg for your pocket money then kidda Ronnie: before she picks a new fave Ronnie: younger & prettier like Joe: nah Joe: we want her to Joe: remember Joe: then me and more importantly my student loans can come back Ronnie: bullshit if you wanted her to you wouldn't have gone Ronnie: you love it Joe: can't just go way uni and never come back Joe: send out a search party Ronnie: use your ⭐ as a beacon cant they Joe: let's hope not Joe: i come here Joe: keeps 'em away rest of the time Joe: yeah Ronnie: if you want em to fuck off commit to it Ronnie: stop being such a pussy Joe: ain't that easy Ronnie: find a ditch to lie down in Ronnie: it ain't hard Ronnie: youre a junkie motherfuckers don't support that Joe: far as they know Joe: i ain't Joe: let 'em catch up Ronnie: do it yourself if you wanna slam the door Joe: see how this goes Joe: not really thinking about them right now Joe: you know Ronnie: youre on one about that lot constantly Joe: just on one constantly full stop Joe: why else would i need the shit Ronnie: dont need to go that hard playing doctor baby Joe: 💘 Joe: you always know just what to say Ronnie: not used to you talking Joe: i know i know Joe: in an ideal world neither of us would be here Ronnie: like not born yeah Ronnie: but she cant keep her legs closed Joe: such a dreamer, you Ronnie: not the one who cant get high without their hand held Joe: n'awh Joe: that's the dream Joe: so romantic too Ronnie: yeah im living it loads of gear close & you far as Ronnie: greedy prick Joe: miss you too baby Joe: in a bit tho, gotta go pick up Ronnie: fuck off soft lad Ronnie: you miss me spoon feeding you Ronnie: you cant talk to me with a dealers cock in your mouth I know Ronnie: multitasking hard enough pretending not to be junkie scum yeah Joe: sure the whole mummy kink ain't your thing Joe: i'll try and get involved but kinda a mood killer Joe: which is kinda rude, know you don't want me to score Ronnie: thats all yours but I'll try anything once Ronnie: 'cause a whinging dope sick baby is really a turn on for me like Ronnie: just gotta keep that going Joe: no judgment here Joe: gotta do what you gotta do Ronnie: you gotta Ronnie: im sound Joe: and i'm happy for you Ronnie: lie to them don't lie to me Joe: alright Joe: will be a bit when I get mine but still Joe: you don't have to be here so Ronnie: you dont Ronnie: grow up & cut the fucking apron strings Joe: you've stopped being helpful for the day? Joe: right then Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: not flying over to fuck you cos your ma aint in the mood & thats as helpful as it gets Joe: why not Ronnie: youve got another sister Ronnie: see if shes into it Joe: but you're so special yeah Ronnie: but shes a good grooming age Joe: leave it out Ronnie: or what Joe: or what Ronnie: asked you first joseph Joe: alright veronica Ronnie: alright weak cunt Joe: probably Ronnie: pick up before you make me sick Ronnie: jesus Joe: waiting on the man Joe: as per Ronnie: if id known rattling had made you shit out your whole spine id have sucked his dick for you & sped things along Joe: so sweet Joe: one of the many things I like about you Ronnie: list just gets longer the longer youre away yeah Ronnie: dont come back & maybe you'll fall in love Joe: i know you want that less than you want me back Joe: don't lie Ronnie: you care what I want now Ronnie: 💘 Joe: only when it benefits me too, darling Joe: junkie scum 101 Joe: was on my timetable like Ronnie: theyve really done a number on you if youre on your knees for my truth Joe: who Joe: mummy dearest or my school Ronnie: take your pick Joe: ain't tryna hide it Joe: just doing my bit to be the whiny baby you want rn Ronnie: cheers then Ronnie: nailed that Ronnie: tell your ma i finally get how she feels 'cause its too late to get you scraped out Joe: 😂 Joe: on it Joe: assuming i ain't 'bout to get kneecapped Joe: or worse Joe: stood up 💔 Ronnie: i'll cross my fingers for raped & robbed Ronnie: standard Joe: you know i ain't gonna have that much of a good time without you 💘 Ronnie: stop trying to make me say I hate you so you can rub one out Ronnie: i dont do sexting Joe: worth a shot Joe: just killing time here Joe: trying not to puke Ronnie: hot Joe: mhmm Joe: like that attempt at enthusiasm Ronnie: you really know how to make a girl wet what can I say Ronnie: gotta romance my dealer out of want instead of need now Joe: thought I'd return the favour Joe: just how I roll Ronnie: course you do golden boy Joe: you ain't that mad about it Joe: i know Ronnie: i aint as fucking thick as you so again course Joe: true Joe: [time for drew to show and not deliver] Ronnie: made up about all these compliments Ronnie: who knew you could be this much on my tits from this distance Joe: just that good Joe: obviously Ronnie: you aint shit Ronnie: don't lie Joe: whatever Joe: can't touch me now Ronnie: only your ma is turned on at the sight of you Ronnie: but she will Joe: alright Joe: cba rn Ronnie: how are you still crying Ronnie: did he not show Joe: he did Joe: but he was about 12 and had no gear Joe: got enough tranqs to knock out an elephant but still Ronnie: when i told you to hit up your siblings i meant the freckled one not one of the toddlers Joe: yeah right Joe: like he knows a great smack dealer, even if we did talk Ronnie: hes a coke head Ronnie: give him 5 Joe: nah Joe: opposite direction Joe: only way is up Ronnie: whatever just get on a plane Joe: yeah Joe: i'm gonna Joe: fuck this Ronnie: ill be waiting with shit that aint a fucking joke Ronnie: you can owe me Joe: yeah? Joe: good Ronnie: don't talk me out of it Ronnie: christ you're annoying Joe: 🤐 Ronnie: only want you back on your feet so I can kick em out from under you myself Joe: hot Ronnie: like you said, it ain't been that long Ronnie: you know I am Joe: yeah Joe: where was this distraction when I really really needed it tho Ronnie: baby when have I ever been good for you Ronnie: selfish to my core Ronnie: we're here for me Joe: works for me Ronnie: just get to the airport & stop fannying about Joe: I've already taken 'em so hold on Joe: no packing now never mind going through customs Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: i had to Ronnie: when then Joe: still today Joe: just later Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: call me Ronnie: maybe i'll answer if it ain't too late Joe: can i call you now too Joe: i gotta stay awake Ronnie: I'm good but no guarantees I'm that good Joe: they ain't kicked in that good yet either Joe: just keep my eyes on the road yeah Ronnie: how much did you pay for baby aspirin mckenna Joe: was cheap as fuck at least Joe: just a kid Joe: barely broke a 50 for all of these so Joe: [photo] Ronnie: not as green as you feel yeah Joe: want me to bring some back Ronnie: too late to rob the boy now Ronnie: & you'll take em yourself before you see me I know you Joe: yeah Joe: i will Joe: but had good intentions, babe Ronnie: take em to church Ronnie: what use is that shit to me Ronnie: gimme bad ideas or don't come around Joe: got plenty of those come on Ronnie: like what Ronnie: come on Joe: what Joe: tryna focus here Ronnie: you wanna stay awake Ronnie: play the game Joe: alright Joe: yeah Joe: you gonna come back to mine Joe: flatmate's gone home Ronnie: are you gonna make it worth it if she's not there to kick in the teeth Joe: won't need to miss her once I'm back Ronnie: fucked her yet? Ronnie: we could do it together Ronnie: I dont normally slip one to virgins but I already made the exception for you Joe: no and funny Joe: keep me as the only exception Joe: how else will i feel special Ronnie: keep hitting up preteen dealers that'll help Joe: he was pretty Ronnie: if im ever in the area like Joe: i wish Ronnie: you & your ma both Ronnie: my turn to feel special Joe: weird ain't it Ronnie: for me Ronnie: you love it Joe: nah Ronnie: not a question Ronnie: you do Joe: don't Ronnie: liar Joe: maybe from you Joe: I'll allow it Ronnie: those pills better be kicking in Ronnie: if youre chatting this much shit sober you can stay in ireland Joe: 😂 Joe: they are Ronnie: book a flight Ronnie: i ain't your ma im not doing it Joe: lemme get home, like Joe: be more obvious you're tryna kill me Ronnie: what im trying to do Ronnie: you gonna call that your home now Joe: you know what i mean Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: i know youre full of shit, mckenna Joe: nah Joe: just bars Joe: make it up to you Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: x it as many times as fits Joe: k Joe: prove it when i see you Ronnie: you reckon Joe: not a question Ronnie: nah just bold claims for someone who still fucks like a virgin & has to check in with his ma Ronnie: can you without her permission Joe: get the slip signed if you're so worried Joe: chill out Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: couple of chewable vitamins & you're chill yeah Joe: you said you got loads Ronnie: I said enough Ronnie: & that was before babysitting you Ronnie: you make me need to spike every vein Joe: need Joe: want Joe: same diff we both know it Ronnie: not trying to make it matter baby Ronnie: put any words in my mouth you want Ronnie: or need Joe: here Joe: wish me luck on telling 'em i'm off Joe: or don't Ronnie: i'll do it for you Ronnie: point me at the relevant mckennas Joe: even stoned Joe: know that ain't a good idea Ronnie: pussy Joe: love u 2 Ronnie: 💋 Joe: [suitable amount of hours for the shit to wear off to a manageable level, avoid the parents and get out on the sly] Joe: [airport photo] Joe: tada Ronnie: we reckoned you'd bottled it Joe: taken a poll like Ronnie: yeah know you like to feel special Joe: warms my cold dead 💘 Joe: honest Ronnie: walk your corpse to me then Joe: and she says she don't sext Ronnie: you wanna be the only exception so bad or what Joe: you know how bad i want it Ronnie: dont leave again & maybe I'll buy it Joe: being dopesick was almost a nice distraction from thinking about you Ronnie: that warms my 🖤 Joe: thought so Joe: nothing does it quite like me being near-death yeah Ronnie: i do like you pathetic Ronnie: but don't think that any of it comes close to me yeah Joe: you saying you're better than heroin Ronnie: im saying you think you were hurting earlier Ronnie: ill show you pain Ronnie: all you have to do is fuck off again Joe: i won't Joe: i need to be there Joe: with you Ronnie: leave me & I will fucking break you Ronnie: i mean it Joe: i know Joe: i'm not gonna Ronnie: how did you get out Joe: parents weren't in but i said a uni friend was in a car accident and they couldn't get hold of his parents Joe: going hell anyway Joe: and someone on my course was hit by a car so if any of them are that concerned to go snooping Ronnie: thats beautiful Ronnie: you're not as much of a useless waster as youve sounded for most of the day like Joe: steady Joe: was almost not an insult Ronnie: who isn't turned on by a good lie Joe: only when I lie to you Joe: got it Ronnie: don't you fucking dare lie to me Joe: couldn't if i wanted to Ronnie: think about what kind of welcome back you want Ronnie: 'cause I can be nice or not nice Ronnie: its on you & what you say to me Joe: baby Joe: already told you I basically missed you more than heroin, how nice can one boy be Ronnie: you wont be saying that when I hand the gear over Joe: yeah i will Joe: been on you longer Ronnie: its fucking good though Joe: yeah Joe: ain't gonna say otherwise Ronnie: paid more & got better so you won't wanna leave Ronnie: dont have to rely on pretty preteens around here Joe: you know i didn't wanna leave in the first place Ronnie: i know you keep saying it like it makes a difference Joe: tell me what will and i'll do it Ronnie: i'll burn your passport that will Joe: burn my passport Joe: that's what you want? Ronnie: what do you have to go running to them for Ronnie: that's what I wanna know Ronnie: what the fuck is there for you Ronnie: cant even get a fix Joe: nothing, never has been Joe: it's obligation though Joe: you get it, i know you've done some shit just 'cos charlie wants to Joe: or 'cos bronson need it Ronnie: that's different Joe: why Ronnie: I ain't going round bullshitting how much i hate 'em on the one breath & in the other dropping everything for the pair of 'em Ronnie: ride or die is that Joe: okay so it is different Joe: it's more complicated Ronnie: fuck complicated its black & white Joe: nah like Joe: whatever i reckon about them Joe: i still owe 'em Joe: for now Joe: debts to pay like Ronnie: how ain't it been paid Ronnie: they ain't done you right since you were a kid Ronnie: if ever Ronnie: a roof & food that's easily totalled Joe: i dunno Joe: shit ton of interest Joe: learnt from the best debt collectors in liverpool, like Ronnie: write it off Ronnie: is when youre dead Joe: tell 'em that's my payment plan Ronnie: talking it out is your first mistake Ronnie: when the fuck has that worked on anyone who comes to collect Ronnie: dont even buy you time just makes you look a doss cunt more than you are Joe: maybe i can convince my da but you know she's biased Joe: all i have to do is get uni done and they can tick it off as a success Ronnie: i dont know jack about her Ronnie: how i want it Ronnie: if i aint read it off a file as a kid i don't need to hear it Joe: yeah Joe: but i ain't telling you i'm golden boy 'cos it seems cool am i Joe: whatever i'm gone now Ronnie: you're telling me 'cause you wanna trade wounds since I won't have your stories off you Ronnie: burn it into your arm deeper & maybe I'll pay attention Joe: you know it ain't about you, babe Joe: anyway, if we were still being nice I'd tell you none of the usual shit works to get you outta my head so thanks for that one Ronnie: ive been saying all day it's about her & I ain't competing with your fucking ma alright Ronnie: she smothered you poor baby Ronnie: you wanna try neglect its real easy Ronnie: feels better too Joe: you're the one who keeps bringing her up, yeah Joe: you want me to be that cunt Joe: easy Joe: I bet it was better, lucky you Ronnie: youre the one who ran home to have her tuck you in again Ronnie: youre that cunt Ronnie: mama's boy Joe: fuck's sake Joe: yeah alright Ronnie: you're the cunt who has the nerve to come crying to me when your mommy would shoot you up if you asked her to Joe: you reckon Joe: considering her dad was and she don't even hate yours as much i'll go with a no on that one Joe: plenty of sad stories I've heard and you ain't need to Ronnie: I reckon golden boy Ronnie: loves you as much as I love gear yeah Ronnie: & not trying to throw another baby away so you're welcome for the free pass Joe: cheers Joe: feels great Ronnie: you gonna cry again mckenna Joe: if i do i'll send you photos, don't worry Ronnie: 💘 Ronnie: send me some either way Joe: you're a headfuck you know Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: dealer said it last time I fucked him Joe: you want fresh line Joe: 👌 Ronnie: give it to me then Joe: give me the flight to think of something you ain't heard before Ronnie: it ain't long enough Joe: fair there's plenty of shit i can say that you ain't heard for real before Joe: but it'd be a copout so i'll keep trying Ronnie: like what Joe: how many of your brothers you fucked lik4 Ronnie: don't reckon freckles is interested Ronnie: leaves me the gay & the kid Ronnie: what about your sister that'd be hot like Joe: they're all kids, just so you know Ronnie: no they ain't Ronnie: i know you lost your virginity to me but don't reckon they're waiting Joe: you wish Joe: hopefully just on the first count Ronnie: you're a sick boy Ronnie: 💋🖕 Joe: you too baby Joe: 💘 Ronnie: thats not some shit I ain't heard before Joe: just truth though Joe: no lying Ronnie: feels like one Ronnie: I'm good Joe: what you want me to say to that Ronnie: say what you wanna say Ronnie: again not your ma Joe: i'm good then Ronnie: truth or lie Joe: lie but not a big one Joe: true once i'm off this plane Ronnie: you out of sweeties or they're just that sugar free Joe: i'm trying to time it just right Joe: then i can actually just a decent amount and not be in a coma for you Ronnie: alright fuck Ronnie: you win Ronnie: nobody's said that to me before Joe: i mean it Joe: i want you first Ronnie: don't say this shit when you're on the wrong side of a plane ride Ronnie: jesus mckenna Joe: gotta make sure you miss me too Ronnie: you're such a cunt Joe: yeah Joe: you still want me though Ronnie: shut the fuck up Joe: why Ronnie: what do you want me to say Joe: you don't have to say anything Joe: but I ain't gonna shut up about how I ain't been able to get you out of my head this whole time Ronnie: yeah you said im a headfuck Ronnie: more than your family & the gear Ronnie: I'll take it Joe: better though Joe: you know Joe: so I'll take it and all Ronnie: you're a headfuck Ronnie: what are you being nice to me for Joe: you said it could go one of two ways Joe: you want me to be mean Ronnie: I want you to be here Ronnie: but you ain't Joe: I'm coming Ronnie: & I'm waiting on you Ronnie: what the fuck Joe: I know Ronnie: I hate you Ronnie: I'm losing it, do you know that Joe: I'm sorry Ronnie: what am I gonna do with that Joe: I don't know Joe: what do you want me to do Ronnie: what can you do Ronnie: can't even score by yourself Ronnie: worse than a fucking kid Joe: was desperate Joe: and it was your idea Ronnie: thats how it is every time Ronnie: you don't have any fucking idea 'cause I'm here cupping your balls & wiping your arse for you Joe: you've been giving me an easy ride of it yeah Joe: alright Ronnie: youre gonna try & call bullshit on that yeah Joe: nah i just had no idea you were being so generous Joe: would've got you a keychain at least Ronnie: fuck you Joe: you too Ronnie: get one with sharp edges we can make a blood oath or some shit Ronnie: maybe after you'll grow the hell up Joe: sure Joe: it's my speciality yeah Ronnie: cutting's more mine but you can have it Ronnie: same old shit gets boring yeah Joe: we can share Joe: she'd be proud Ronnie: my aspiration in life Ronnie: cheers Joe: obvs mine too Ronnie: you brought her up then not me Joe: reckon you owed me that one so Joe: even Ronnie: 💋🖕 Joe: you're cute Ronnie: say that again & you'll be swallowing teeth Joe: don't worry, that was hot Joe: you won it back Ronnie: go to hell mckenna Joe: you wanna be with me forever Joe: 💘 Ronnie: just reckoning you'll get there quicker than you will this fucking airport Joe: just be glad I didn't try to get back in at rush hour Ronnie: be glad im still waiting Joe: ain't gonna waste words on it Joe: show you Ronnie: 💘

[moonlight-shanty]

Dick Cam- Rhink fic

Link was on the computer looking at men kissing n fucking he was getting into it he adjusted his glasses as he was stroking himself to an aching hardness. Oh fuck oh fuck he moaned. His hard dick was uncontrollable he felt he would cum at any given moment when he heard a ding and rhett popped up on his computer screen. Oh dang ohhh. Link stroked as he looked at the msgs pop up. "Hey link." "What are u doin up buddy." "Good to see you up" "I couldnt I" link strokes he puts the hot men up as rhett speaks to him. It comes in hot whispers in his ear. Rhett mouthing his ear... words dripping with hot sex. Spine tingling. Ohh rhett. link moans. He wants rhett wants him so bad. But he's off limits. But how he craves that hot tongue driving him crazy. He descides to do it while he is online. He makes a video call to rhett.. not caring anymore. Rhett please accept he moans.. he rubs his hardcock as his computer dials. Rhett lets the call fade out. He tries again.. again it fails to connect. Ohh fuck!! Link moans Rhetts not answering. Fuck! dammit! He puts his dick down and types to him. Rhett whats up why you not answering... dont wana catch me with my pants down.. i got a good feeling you'll like this..i got a hard dick for... oh shit link thinks as he types. I cannot say that. He erases his message. His cock jumps when rhett types "whats up?" "Why the call at 2am" "sorry i had to move into the lounge" "you were gonna wake up my darling wife" thats it thats why he couldnt go any further with rhett..his "darling wife" & kids. But oh how naughty he felt tonight. His wife was sleeping in her

bed she had no idea he was in the study... "been think‐ ing of you". Link typed he was soo hard leaking to his balls. "Oh yeh?" Came the reply. "Yeh" link replied. He really was thinkin of rhett. His hands all over his body. Rhett swallowed "Wat about buddy?" Link licked his lips "your cock" he typed then he erased it. "Your body" erased it. "Just you. Noone else" link typed he sent it. "Me too, are you alone?" Rhett typed. "Yeh" came links reply. "Wat are you wearin;)" link typed. "Wearing?" Rhett asked. "Yeh you got any clothes on?" Link typed. "No" rhett played with his friends mind. Ohhh link moaned. Thinkin of rhett with no clothes on. "Got your cock out then?" Link was naughty he sent that msg to rhett. "Yes. Why?" Rhett replied. "Think i could see it?" link typed his mind a blur. "Why?" Rhett asked. "Just for a second.." came the reply. Rhett wondered when this had turned sexual. "Hmm link i think you better go to bed your delirious." "Im not" link replied. "Are too" rhett replied. "Am not. just...horny. work with me show me your cock, show me you in a new light!" Link replied "im not showing you my cock again man youve seen it before just same ol.." "PLEASE" came links reply he jerked his cock hot and fast. "No link. Go back to your wife..treat her to some sexual advances not me" "i .. i..m not into her tonight. Please please do me this one little favour.." he called rhett again and now that he was alone this time he answered... rhett was sat in his living room the light was on and dim. Lighting up the important features but not too much. Most of the light was coming from his laptop he was playing with

his cock. Link softly sighed. "You thinking of me?" Link said. "Yes" rhett replied in a small voice. It was like a squeak. Link tilted the camera to his cock.. "look wat you did to me man" link said. His hard cock pertruding. "Baby you're SO HARD. I like it" rhett whispered "you want this hard cock?" Link whispered back. Rhett moaned into the camera. "I want you to suck on it Make me feel good.." link replied. "I'll suck it good baby" rhett replied. He stroked his large thick cock. "I got something for you to see" rhett moaned. He tilted the camera to his engorged dick. He spread the precum around his shaft making it look shiny and tasty to link. Link moaned he rubbed his cock as he took in the sight of his friends manhood. "I want you to fuck me" rhett said. "Fuck" link replied "don't do that to me" "i really mean it. Come over here"

[theuniverseisher]

Hostage Negotiation

In which Tumblr absolutely dunks on the Discord formatting, starring:

@sunlight-magnificence @fouramour @sixpinsdie @itsjacktheknife @lassofthelaw @cautionarylaw @fastestshadeofgreen @undertakinggraveshift @dilldaydreamer @aceoflaw

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:04 PM

08: @Law

https://theuniverseisher.tumblr.com/post/178198725232/pvt-law

08: ;) ((for those who can't get on tumblr just now))

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 10:08 PM

WK: ....Release her. NOW!

Percy (06/💀)Today at 10:09 PM

She already had her relea--))

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:09 PM

((ADSFGH))

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 10:09 PM

((don t do  th i s

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:10 PM

08: ;) You know my demands.

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 10:14 PM

WK: You want me to beg, you FILTHY URCHIN?! Please, come here so I can hear your carapace CRACK under my foot.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:15 PM

08: Would somebody please inform His Royal Marshmellow why, precisely, that's ill-advised?

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 10:17 PM

WK: No, you won't die. I shall just remove every joint from it's socket until you're a shell with a still-beating heart. You will not GET to die.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:18 PM

08: Still not a good idea, cupcake!

Resh (NB)Today at 10:19 PM

NB: Sir! Wait! Wait, she’s, well apparently she’s got the universe inside her! If you kill her, or damage her, maybe, reality itself may break. If the universe dies, we, goddamnit, we all die.

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 10:22 PM

WK: You're with the Felt then? I will end each and every one of them unless you return here with my wife, NOW.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:23 PM

08: Yawn! 08: Really, you're cute.  Thinking that bothers me. 08: Is that all you've got?  You must really not care about your wife. 08: My husband would have bent over backwards to get me back. ;)

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 10:25 PM

WK: How DARE you imply that I do not care. WK: Is that what you want? Wherever you are, bring me there.

Resh (NB)Today at 10:26 PM

NB: Sir!? What the hell are you thinking we need to plan this!

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:26 PM

08: No. 08: I want you to beg. 08: Before all your people.  I want them to see you on your knees. 08: Show me how much you want her back, Wilhelm.

ave (PS/Sol)Today at 10:28 PM

PS: Snowman.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:29 PM

08: :)

Percy (06/💀)Today at 10:31 PM

06: Hey 06: I'm innocent. 06: Why are we threatening my life, I'm not involved in this. You should consider anger therapy. 06: Your wife gets kidnapped one time and suddenly it's an everyone problem.

Bunny (SS)Today at 10:31 PM

SS: oh there you are SS: left me on read you bitch SS: ....but this is pretty great not gonna lie

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:32 PM

08: 💋

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 10:33 PM

WK: >You kneel where you stand, in the middle of the street in the city. Where everyone can feel your unbridled rage around you at the epicenter. You don't know how or if she could possibly see you, but you're kneeling now WK: PLEASE.(edited)

Percy (06/💀)Today at 10:34 PM

06: Haha.

Bunny (SS)Today at 10:34 PM

SS: wow

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:34 PM

08: Someone get there and Skype me.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 10:34 PM

04: on it.

Percy (06/💀)Today at 10:34 PM

06: Bitch we use discord now get with the times ))

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 10:34 PM

(( IT IS, IN HINDSIGHT, A HILARIOUS TIME JOKE TBH

Bunny (SS)Today at 10:34 PM

SS: cant wait to see this shit in the papers

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:35 PM

((LMFAO))

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 10:35 PM

04: is it just gonna be really obvious where he is, or should i close my eyes and assume i'll end up there.

Bunny (SS)Today at 10:35 PM

((pesterchum or bust))

fuck this shit (01/AR)Today at 10:35 PM

uninstall AOL messenger u cuck))

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:36 PM

08: Probably obvious! A little limited at the moment myself. FINE AIM ME YOU FUCKS))

fuck this shit (01/AR)Today at 10:37 PM

01: yo 01: snow 01: ill pay you for pics

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 10:38 PM

> Clover manages to find the king in record time, as he do. > There's now a livestream in-chat.

Bunny (SS)Today at 10:39 PM

SS: ha!

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:39 PM

08: 3 favors for a set of 5.  5 for 10. 08: Ohh, this is good. 08: Now, see? That wasn't so hard.

fuck this shit (01/AR)Today at 10:40 PM

01: mmmmm 01: yo WK how much you think snuff of your wife is worth just wondering

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:41 PM

08: I also have a cashapp.

Bunny (SS)Today at 10:41 PM

SS: id pay for it

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 10:41 PM

WK: Don't! Please.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:44 PM

08: Now, see, this is fun! 08: On the one hand, there's the good, sweet husband and law enforcement, who surely wouldn't want queenly blood on their hands--given how Beloved she is to the ruling planet--no matter whether they personally care for her or not. 08: On the other, snuff of a Queen is once in a lifetime. 08: Race to see who has the better offer.

fuck this shit (01/AR)Today at 10:44 PM

01: definitely rather pay cash i dont trust your uh 01: creativity 01: on favors and shit

Bunny (SS)Today at 10:45 PM

SS: really snow? youre thinkin of leaving her alive?

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:45 PM

08: I'm all ears! Auction starts now. 08: 💋

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 10:46 PM

WK: Anything you want. Anything. WK: I will do whatever you ask.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:46 PM

08: Anything is dangerous, sweet Marshmallow. 08: Are you absolutely certain of that?

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 10:47 PM

WK: If you return her, yes.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 10:47 PM

04: ooooh.

Bunny (SS)Today at 10:47 PM

SS: didnt she take everything from you SS: what fun is it to let her go now that youve got her SS: you should do to her what she wasnt able to do to you SS: cull that bitch SS: and her husband too

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 10:48 PM

WK: I swear on my life that I will do whatever you ask so long as you return her. Please.

fuck this shit (01/AR)Today at 10:48 PM

AR: you should also refrain from bribery. and threats. and kidnapping. AR: on a public forum.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:48 PM

08: Oh, darling, sweet Regulator. 08: Eat me. 08: Now then!

Bunny (SS)Today at 10:48 PM

SS: haha

fuck this shit (01/AR)Today at 10:49 PM

cop dad banging pots and pans SCATTER))

Bunny (SS)Today at 10:49 PM

SS: he said you could return her so SS: just return her body SS: everyone wins

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 10:50 PM

WK: ALIVE.

Bunny (SS)Today at 10:50 PM

SS: aw see now youre asking for a lot

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 10:51 PM

(( doin this for quick not-worth-a-dm-channel exchanges )) [04->08: i dunno, 'on death's edge' is still alive. :P]

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:51 PM

[08->04: ;)] [08->01: You'll get your photos.  $Sn0wbitch send the cash.]

Percy (06/💀)Today at 10:53 PM

Death: Perhaps not my place, being human, but... there has already been one war between Derse and Prospit. Wouldn't murdering her constitute a second war, and are we all willing to cause a second war over this? I feel you have already... pushed good reason for such.

fuck this shit (01/AR)Today at 10:53 PM

[01->08: god bless you ya crazy c*nt.]  [-Transfers 4k, because this is an investment mon dude.-]

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 10:54 PM

WK: Do you accept my offer?

Bunny (SS)Today at 10:54 PM

SS: freedom doesnt come cheap SS: kill the tyrants

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 10:55 PM

[04->08: you deserve more than just 'please', in my opinion!]

fuck this shit (01/AR)Today at 10:55 PM

[AR may or may not have just....closed the chat. T-minus 45 minutes for guilt and doing the right thing but I'm going to have a GRAND forty five minutes thank YOU.]

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 10:55 PM

[45 minutes is a long time to allow murder]

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:57 PM

[08->01: I'll send them once we're done here.] 08: Here's what I'm thinking, Wilhelm. 08: Immunity for this little debacle.  No arrests, no charges--I walk out of this scot-free, as do my fine band of merry gentleman.  No legal retaliation. 08: And I will have my ring back. 08: How's that sounding so far?

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 10:57 PM

WK: Done.

fuck this shit (01/AR)Today at 10:57 PM

[AR awknowleges the narrator's point with a steven universe struggling not to crack gif. Time is adjusted accordingly.]

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 10:58 PM

08: Ho. 08: Also this story is going to the press as we've written it, and none of your heroic-twist style narratives. 08: For that little extra salt in the wound.

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 10:59 PM

WK: I don't care. Return her immidiately, or bring me there.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 11:02 PM

08: No, I won't be bringing you here. 08: And I will return her, when I am good and ready. 08: The drop off with be in front of the Regalia Hotel, two hours from now. 08: There will be no police presence. 08: Only you, and Mister Four of my outfit. 08: Any breech of this contract, and I'll slit her throat before you even get a shot off. 08: Are we perfectly clear on that?

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 11:03 PM

04: 🕓🕗✌💋

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 11:03 PM

WK: Yes. WK: Is everyone clear? Do. Not. Follow. Me.

Percy (06/💀)Today at 11:05 PM

06: That was easy.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 11:05 PM

04: requesting permission to end stream, boss?

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 11:05 PM

08: Permission granted. 08: Be sure to save that.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 11:06 PM

04: wouldn't dream of otherwise.-- The video stream cuts off. --

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 11:07 PM

08: A pleasure doing business with you, as always, Wilhelm!

pixel~! (04/Dualscar)Today at 11:07 PM

04: ✨

Imagine Dragons (09/WK)Today at 11:07 PM

WK:....

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 11:07 PM

PI: -Pembrooke Ingleton has signed off-

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 11:07 PM

08: Oh! Yes, Clover,you're quite righht. 08: ✨

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.