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buzzkillers · 9 months

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Burning like embers (falling tender)

Pairing: Regulus Black • Black!Reader

Summary: Regulus kidnaps the bride. (Wc:5k)

Warning: Dubcon, Kidnapping, Semi Unrequited Love, Attempted Non-Con, Pseudo-incest, Pureblood Politics, Regulus Embracing His Flaws (Yt and British)

Beta: @darksideofthecocoamoon !!! This would've been way worse without her.

Regulus Black was not a good man.

Good men existed in folk tales, in between the thick yellow pages of his childhood books. Where nobility and honor was permeated in ink and their righteousness was outlined in bold roman font, the letters too tiny for baby regulus to read. It was hard to be a good man, he learned. And by the age of twenty four, he was barely a man at all.

Rather melodramatic. His mother had said.

Mother also said he should feel lucky.

It was luck after all wasn't it? His mother said. A gift to have all of his boyhood crushed out and replaced with a substance that no good man ever possessed. Voldemort knew how to show his favor. He should've been grateful.

And Regulus was. Grateful that is. He was grateful in the way ravens were grateful for a murder, fire to wood and a cowardly man to…well to him. Regulus. Who had no problem bringing all of these things to fruition. Better than him than the others. His colleagues that liked to add to the fire and wood first, turn a flicker flame to a conflagration.

It was good that he had all of that goodness ripped out of him, the remnants stuck between Voldemort's teeth.

Because good men became drunks; drunk on alcohol, indulgent on cheap thrills and even cheaper whores. Complacent. Regulus thought.

Vermin. His father corrected. Dogs that pretended to be wolves before they latched back on their leashes and trotted home; clean shaven and pristine.

Regulus knew good men well afterall.

He's killed many.

A poison there. A dog bone here. Family cemeteries made entirely in his name.

So when he said he wasn't a good man, it wasn't an attempt to be humble or modest or bashful or coy or any other fanciful saying. Regulus Black was not a good person.

The mark proved it.

The murders cemented it.

And your body chained to his bed, screamed it.

Or maybe that was simply a gross overstatement?

The word 'chained' naturally made one think of those muggle devices. A crude contraption with metallic locks and easily hexed metals. (An insult to human ingenuity, really.) No, your chains were of the metaphysical kind: sophisticated, invisible, snug. It was the nicest thing he's ever done for an opposer to his Lord.

Unfortunately, you were not raised by Mother. So you didn’t understand to be grateful. Which was a shame. Even a bird admired their cages eventually. It was the least you could do.

But of course Regulus' life was unfairly hard and his options null. So instead of admiration and dutiful respect, you laid with your back turned and her body curled against the dark corner of your bed. Small and pitiful— a bit wet too.

Funny.

Maybe he should've called you a fish instead. You wouldn't laugh but it would be funny. After all the white gown that clung to your body was completely translucent, the edges covered in soap suds. (Nastily, Regulus Black curled his bruised lips; a caged bird indeed.)

He closed the door behind him.

His own clothes drenched and his fingers bloody with scratches before he dumped the wand in his hand to the ground. It clattered unceremoniously.

"My bird," he began, voice smooth, annoyed.

"I hope you're incredibly happy with yourself," he slipped his loafers off and untwisted his family rings.

"There's a dead wizard at our doorstep because of you," parts of him anyway.

The rest of him was about a few yards out. With chunks of flesh too burned and scarred to be identified as human spewed across the acres of land. (Dog meat, his father would say. Hopefully the animals thought the same.)

The whole ordeal was unnecessarily messy you see? Uncivilized even as he looked at the 'dog' blood splattered against his light robes. Angered, he unbuttoned that too.

"It was an avoidable death, don't you think?"

"A complete waste of my time, even?" He cocked his head, his voice heavy with something that made your back tense.

Yet of course, you refused to turn around, to look back…

A recent nasty habit of yours as he threw his robes on a nearby chair. The excess blood dripping from hand woven cloth onto the concrete floor. A familiar sight.

Slowly, his eyes dragged to the wand on the ground, so small and twiggy. It reminded him of the toy wands he saw poor half-bloods play with when no one was looking. A scrap of trash. No different than what you'd throw for a animal to catch.

Yet, it took death for the wizard to let it go. (A dog and its bone.)

He frowned, then snapped it beneath his heel.

Magic spurted out and when he looked up your head swirled back towards the wall. He frowned again.

"You could at least cry," he said, voice hoarse.

“He died for you after all,”

Besides your frame, a lamp flickered and its shadow danced across your back. He licked his lips, hmm. “They all died for you, actually,”

"Should I tell them to stop?" He murmured. But you only curled further into yourself. Like a victim, like someone that's done nothing wrong. He gritted his teeth. "No that won't work, you'll just keep sending them," Regulus kicked the wand across the room.

"Maybe if he had served his purpose…." The air crackled. “..But alas,” Then he crossed the small room and plopped himself on the bed. His head cushioned against the duvet.

"What did you tell them anyway?" he whispered, before something cracked and your cuffs pulsed. He smiled.

"Did you say you were captured? That I was holding you prisoner? Did you lie, birdy?" He whispered, before slowly you sat up and turned your head. Your pupils were fat, your breath still.

"Shut up,"

"B-" he started before all air left his lungs, your hands wrapped around his throat.

"Tu putain de salope—" your knees dug into his waist. “—just stop talking," Spit flew with each word and it took everything in him not to lick it away. He could only smile and make it worse.

Your eyes widened, a fury of emotion flickering in and out and Regulus only with luck missed the conjured dagger that dug into the place where his head once was.

"Baise gluante-" Then with a flick of his wrist the chains tightened, your positions switched and Regulus was on top once more. His bony fingers pressed into a neck that creaked beneath his weight.

“That was an admirable trick,”

“You almost got me there.” He spoke too soon.

The knife appeared again, this time pressed too close to his third rib. Huh. What was that muggle saying about kicked dogs again?

"Don’t make me repeat myself," You demanded again between clenched teeth and his skin that was beginning to unravel under the metal. Something in him warmed at that. He killed a man like this the day before. But that was more brutal, cruel even. This was not that. This violence was intimate, affectionate.

So much so that the moment you spat your words back at him, this time he did lick it off.

"Sweet," He murmured to himself, like burnt cranberries and raw strawberries, something natural that bursted on his tongue. He licked it again. “A little sour too,” Beneath him you laid frozen, your own eyes widened until your grip on the knife loosened. "Just like me,"

"You're sick," you said it like you were just noticing. "How could you just-"

Quickly, you took a deep breath.

In.

Out.

“I'm nothing like you,"

"Nothing?”

With a grunt you attempted to get up but he kept you down with nails that dug into your wrist. An devilish embrace. "You killed him and you didn't have to, you didn't even need to touch him, you could've let him go, kept him out of it," you insisted, each word said with hard eyes and fat tears on your cheeks. "We're nothing alike,"

Regulus shrugged his shoulders.

"Then leave,"

"…."

Outside your ‘dogs’ flesh had begun to be pecked off by the ravens and the bones by the flies. Inside, you licked your lips but you did not move an inch. “Here, I’ll even help you,” he confessed before with a whispered incantation, your chain vanished. “Go,”

A symphony of emotions flickered across your face. They all burned hot and they all made Regulus shift above your thigh. Before your knife clattered to smoke and your face twisted into something like hatred.

His little bird drew back into her cage.

"Yes," he sighed, his voice not at all shallow and not at all starved for air while he rubbed at the wound that would soon scar by morning,

"That's what I thought,"

—

When he first met you, his first thought was: 'This isn't going to work,' and his second thought was 'She's too good for Sirius,'

In hindsight, both statements were correct.

You were a bold thing really. A beauty covered in rare gems and an aura that spoke of higher breeding. Mother boasted about you highly. The jewel of the west she called you. Someone, born and bred within the confines of a highly respected Afro-Caribbean pure blood family. It was a surprise that Mother even knew you but he guessed that was the point. She wanted someone not as connected in British society after all. Someone who only visited when they had to.

In other words, the likelihood of Sirius already having fucked you was low and the likelihood that you knew him was even lower.

For his mother, ignorance truly was bliss.

If not for Sirius than also for the fact that no non-British family paid attention to Voldemort.

Voldemort's tyranny was simply an English problem. The bloke didn’t seem to care about the muggles from other countries, much less ones from the Caribbeans. Still, people have heard whispers of him. Only a dip in the pond about a crazed muggleborn that had a bone to pick with British society.

Nothing special because in hindsight, who didn't?

So, it was unsurprising that your parents agreed to a marriage of convenience with the one family that was in His pockets. What was surprising was how well you took to it.

According to Sirius, arranged marriages were archaic and boorish. Not because of any logical reasons like loss of autonomy but because ‘Only a pauper let's their parents pick where his cock goes'. Of course he paid Sirius no mind.

Yet, solemnly he wondered if you felt the same. As a boy he would've scoffed at the idea of someone not wanting to marry into the powerful House Of Black but he hasn't been a boy for a long time now. The scales had long fallen from his eyes. In the privacy of his mind, he could not say that it was truly an honor to marry into the Black Family.

Not with the Potters and Misli’s right there. Not with witches like Bellatrix in the family. On the contrary, it's most likely that you were in for a shock. And you'd probably run for the hills while Sirius laughed into his fifth bottle of ale and mother seethed in the shadows.

It was the logical conclusion, he knew it and father knew it. But sometimes wolves liked to just watch their prey die. And who were they to go against Mothers will? Father the patriarch and him the–good son. The dog. So he even prepared for it. What a waste of time that was.

He told Kreacher to prepare for a crying wailing woman. He didn’t prepare for the force that walked through the door instead. It was raining when you visited but you didn't seem to notice. Instead your face was held high as you met mother, your grip firm when you met father and you smiled at him. Very toothy and almost childish but it fit you well.

Father and Mother were nervous that Sirius wouldn't take to you. That they'd have to find another poor woman for their plans but Regulus remembered the sparkle behind his brother's eyes, the twitch of his fingers when you matched fire with oil. You gave him boorish jokes with a classy smile and a mouth no different than a muggle sailor. You were everything dirty about Sirius, wrapped and repackaged into someone pretty, someone that could take it, take him.

Regulus wasn't impressed of course. It took anyone with a halved brain cell to get along with Sirius. You were really no different than James in his mind. Someone that could code switch between two worlds without making either party uncomfortable. A chameleon with nothing inside. It was good that you only had one job really. One simple, impossible to fail job: 'Bring my son back to me,' He heard mother whisper, both of your bodies hidden in the shadows of the back rooms. ‘Bring Sirius back into the fold’

‘Bring him back with a mark,’ She really meant to say and then the conversation was over.

And of course you failed.

____

"Do not touch me with blood still on your hands," you barked as Regulus dipped your head into the water. The soap suds in your head mingling with the crusted blood on his fingers until the water became a dull, faint pink.

He hummed. "You demand a lot of me," but his hands do hover away from your hair and to the lip of the porcelain tub. You'd smell so much better without the after-smell of spilt blood anyway.

Without thinking he rinsed his hands in the water bowl by his side. His pink reflection looking at him before he went back to your puffed- no braided hair. It wasn't like that before. Did you do that while he was upstairs? With your bare hands at that? No, you must've used a spell. Strangled together the few bouts of magic his bindings granted you and did what he offered to do freely. Impressive.

He should take it all apart. 'Just to spite you,' he thought before with a hum he squeezed more shampoo in your hair. Suds dropped to the wooden floor, and seeped between the cracks. The scent of juniper berry erupted in the air. Your hands gripped the lip of the tub tighter.

“Sirius used to wash my hair like this.” you murmured, your teeth dug deep into your lip. “Eventually, he’d join me and we’d stay in the tub for hours,”

He paused, his fingertips wrinkled in your hair before you took a long and hard inhale. In. Out.

“Is that so?” he murmured, something tough in his throat. It was only because of the hand of Merlin that he was able to sound nonchalant.

From his position, he could not see your features. But he could look at the mirror that faced the both of you. It stood at the opposite side of the room; decorated in golds and engraved with faces that he had no interest in knowing. Your own face was the only one that captured his attention. And at this moment, it was closed off. Your lips twisted sardonically and your eyes cut to the side.

“Yes, there was more that was happening of course, but—that would be inappropriate to tell, " you snickered as if you were the leader on all things dealing with propriety. He took a moment and breathed in.

“Was this before or after you betrayed him,” Regulus asked. You went silent.

Coward.

“Or do you even remember,”

“-shut up,”

“Is that a no then?”

"Are you deaf?" you cut your eyes towards the mirror. "I told you to shut up,"

His own lips curled, "You are still wet," The suds in your hair have now dried. Leaving behind dollops of water that now pooled at his feet. The excess had begun to drip to the floor, the rest down your neck, to your back.

"Did that also remind you of your time with Sirius?" Then you shot up, the water falling from your shoulders.

"Do you constantly think about what gets your brother hard?" What a dirty mouth.

His lips twisted. "You should get back in,"

"No,"

"You'll get a cold,"

You rolled your eyes. "Then you shall tell my family I died of hyperthermia, they'll believe that,"

His eyes fell flat but Regulus didn't say a word. Just kept his touch gentle, his movements soft. As if you were a lover, a friend and not—

The knife only nicked his shoulder this time.

"I said-" you shuddered violently,. "-To stop it,"

In the mirror, Regulus watched as you shot him a look. Weeks ago there was a fiery rage in there, dragon eyes in human form. Now it was just tired, bored even. Then you looked back down, silent.

He narrowed his eyes. "Ask me,"

Your grimace only deepened, but now there was humor laced in the edges. "Ask?" your lips twisted into a nasty tired smile;

"Demander?" You giggled. "Did you forget what's in our blood?" You questioned with all that humor quickly gone and replaced with a tone ancient and old.

"We do not ask," you sneered, then rolled your shoulders.

"Even Sirius knew that,"

_____

You didn't even know Sirius.

That was the worst part. You giggled in hidden corners and you kissed his hand to make the elders gasp in horror and Sirius like a fool ate it up and you didn't even know him.

Sometimes,the depths of his brother's stupidity astounded him. Did he really think that a woman like you would just fall in his lap? You were already out of his league. A barmaid would be a better fit.

It was foolish, idiotic, ridiculous but it worked. Because without knowing Sirius was getting closer to taking the mark. He no longer grimaced when Regulus arrived home smelling of iron. Or when he got caught with scratches on his arm and blood on his collar. Mother's plan was working and he only felt pity.

It was one thing to pretend, it was another to have to dumb yourself down for a bonafide pauper. If Mother had picked him, there would be no farce. Not like he wanted that. He didn't want anything.

He was fine with watching from the shadows. His entire presence ignored while you and Sirius pretended you were the only ones in England. It was simply the way things were, he realized with clenched knuckles and a tight smile.

But did it have to be?

No, it didn't.

—-

Six months later, Regulus understands why Sirius gets so addicted. A drunk like him, so prone to tasting what was bitter, his tongue rotten with ale. You were an overturn. Something annoyingly new. Regulus had never tasted something so sweet. Poppy pomegranate and sunburst cherries. He swore that he’d get a cavity as he dug his fingers into your hair.

Twisting you into position, tight, proper, the way you gripped the stem of any fruit. Of anything that you wanted to get a better taste of. You were too stunned to fight back then. The bitter after taste of champagne you were prone to drinking sticky on your tongue. Your glass already shattered on the floor.

In the next room, your husband argued with portraits. And when it's done, and when you slap him. Regulus received a thought. An awful hypothesis.

What else could he get away with when enclosed by walls? The rest of the world locked away?

An awful thought indeed.

—--

It's only a week later that it happened. Sirius waking up to an empty bed and Regulus miles away on a mission, in the middle of nowhere, in a quaint little cottage.

It was almost too easy.

—

You didn’t leave of course. Not at first.

Because leaving met acknowledging that you were wrong. That there was nothing to gain at keeping his attention. Leaving meant having to look Sirius in the eye and tell him you lied.

Of course you had questions. Regulus of course didn’t answer.

You didn't need to know how distraught Sirius had become. A pathetic puppy that moped around the manor destroying everything in sight. Regulus didn’t even need to plant ideas in the brutes head. No, all the seeds were already there. Sown in from years of idiocy and your failed meddling.

'It was Dumbledore, I just know.’

‘That stupid old git is trying to punish me,' he whined to Regulus. 'He took her, I know he did Reggie, you need to help me'

'Prongs and-" he'd gnaw at his cracked lips. 'they don't believe me, they think I'm mad, they think I'm—Regulus'

Sirius was mad for you. Unnaturally obsessed. A fool with his alcohol taken away. A dog that's lost his chew toy. He didn't know any better. He couldn't have. But Regulus did, Regulus knew you. He understood your games and twist. Poor Sirius.

If Regulus had to be the bad guy then so be it. He could be the executioner and the judge, he just needed to play his cards right.

Murder would create a martyr but someone missing? Someone that Sirius could say left him high and dry. It was what you were planning to do anyway. And if Regulus quickened the process that didn't make him anymore of a bad person than the murder and countrywide slaughter ever did.

—

You were surprisingly clumsy by your lonesome.

Random scars and cuts littered your body when he wasn’t looking. Ghost of attempts at escape most likely. Which was fine. Regulus could play doctor. Even if it included a bath. A mutual need, probably. The blood on his hands had begun to make his nose burn.

He watched you flinch, took relevance in the way your eyes settled: tired, bitter. It was the same look worn by others. It reminded him of himself, of mother. Abrasive. Challenging him.

After all these weeks, you seemed to still be under the impression that Regulus was anything like Sirius. That they shared the same rotten brain cell that Sirius had split amongst his new brothers, his new family.

He unclenched his fist. Let his anger burn and flick in the atmosphere before with a turn of his head he looked at the hair moisturizer on the counter top.

"Your hairs going to be tangled tomorrow. You should let me rebraid it," You scuffed at that.

"Touch me and you die." You said the same thing to Sirius once. He heard it through the walls during your consummation night. Between the sounds of ruffled sheets and curses. And surprisingly, Sirius listened.

Regulus didn't have the same control. He grabbed for a braid, a knife appeared once again at his rib. He sighed. “You’re being stubborn,”

“I will rebraid my own hair,”

“..With what autonomy?”

You rolled your eyes. "Want to find out?”

He snorted, hands gripping your strands. "Sometimes, it astounds me how well you lie."

"Don't you realize that I already know you're guilty?"

You sighed. Tired, as if this was a conversation you two have had a million times before. It was.

You looked away. "I'm not," he yanked your head. "But you are." Then when with a snap of his wand you were dried and dressed. Your body plopped on your bed without care. He rolled his eyes.

"You fed my brother lies and lured him away f when your job was so simple. to bring him back," Get him to take the mark, be the whisper in his ears, that was what Mother told you. All that deceit just so that the family could have a proper Heir. A better head outside of him the runt and Bellatrix the mad woman.

Regulus pinched the bridge of his nose. “You lured him away and then-” he gripped his fist into the sheets. “-and then you attempted to run with another,”

“You were going to betray him,” it was funny really. Outside of the curses and the hexes and threats that was the one that got you to pay attention. That indifference melting away with ease.

"You are a liar and you should be happy that I even-":

"Look at me?" You rolled your head to the side. "Cause you look at me alot Black, even when you think I'm not looking back," you said this with shadowed eyes and a laziness to your movements. Like you had all the time in the world to revel in the fact that Regulus watched you back. That he wasn’t as suave as he thought you were.

Regulus flickered his eyes down to the crotch of your dress. Theres a wet spot there that never fully dried. Regulus shot to his feet.

"You're angry,"

"Regulus,"

"I get it, truly" he found himself at the edge of your bed. A wand less spell on his lips that warmed the fabric.

"I've been nothing but terrible to you, completely awful. That's no way to treat a sister-in-law, now is it?" he sat at your side, his hands on your thigh. Fabric brushed against your bare skin. Under his words, you shook. "But if you bring up his name again, I'll-"

"What?" You sneered, that hatred bleeding back in. "Let me go?"

"Tell Sirius what I did?" With a blink your eyes began to sheen. "I do not care,"

Then your face twisted. "Not anymore"

He gripped your face, his own features suddenly inhumane. "Your boy toy has made you cocky,"

"Do you think I won't do it? Are you prepared to make that gamble?" There was a frenzied tone to his voice as he said this. For a moment he wondered if it was the weather. An effect of being so sick of your behavior. He must've been worse than he thought but you were looking at him with defiance. He wanted to find control but there was a smolder to your eyes, a spark and suddenly Regulus lost all control. You were serious.

And then you screamed as he gripped your shoulders and shoved you into the mattress. It bounced beneath the weight. "No," he whispered.

Your slip entangled in his fingers. You were slipping between his fingers. The harsh tear of fabric brought him back to the present as the top of your slip laid torn in his hand.

You laughed. It too sounded frayed while your fingers trembled. "No?"

But outside of that you said nothing, just stared at him the way you stared at potion books and Sirius odd muggle gimmicks. Something dangerous, that you were simply waiting to explode and somehow that was worse than screaming. Worse than you cursing at him while his fingers dug into your ripped dress.

"You do not know him,"

But youre stupid so you only grunted back, "Don't I?,"

He laughed "My own brother? You really think you know him better than I?"

"No—"

"No?"

"I don't know what Sirius was like as a child but I do know that the boy you call your brother is dead"

You gripped his arms now, like an anchor. "I know that he only exist in your memories, and I mourn your loss"

"But the man is different and I know him and I know that he would never give into Voldemort—not even for you,"

Don't say his name, rested heavy on his tongue. But he crushed it. In that moment something in him died and something else was born. A substance unknown to good men or even Voldemort.

So, he smiled. Soft hands coming up to pick at the soft white gown. The fabric was practically translucent up close.

"Those are harsh accusations," he plopped on the bed and felt himself jump a bit before his hands relaxed against your knee and then your thigh and then- paused with a look.

Your body trembled beneath his fingers.

"Fratricide, sororicide? You really can't think of anything worse?" He whispered, his words painting a portrait that only you could see.

Still, he watched your eyes widen and felt your breath stutter. A fine drip of water that didn't come from your hair, slid down your forehead. Before a hummingbirds heart fluttered beneath your skin. And all he could do was stare, his hand pressed firmly against your cunts entrance.

"I can.." he said, still covered in blood, still burning with the mark, before his fingers slipped between your thighs. Plushy and warm then suddenly damp, drenching his fingers.

"..I can think of something worse for Sirius to find."

"He'd only have to look at my hands"

You jumped back and thrashed but it was worthless, his fingers were already against your cunt.

The sounds only got louder, your thrashing more manic but the spell he put on your hands and feet kept you plastered to the bed. He grounded into you further, chest against chest before his head nuzzled against your own.

'Frankincense and juniper berry' he thought with a whiff. Like the familiar books he read as a child and the aroma of the Black home after night had fallen. Divine and familiar.

His own little goddess.

The revelation forced him to kiss your cheek. His own lips pressed firmly against your skin. He could taste the shea butter. Could still smell the fruity body wash as your screams turned into whimpers and then morphed into ugly moans. The sounds of pleasure ripped out of you through clenched teeth and bitten lips.

He brought his free hand up, clenched your neck. Felt the arteries jump and your jugular twitch. He killed a man like this earlier today. A long and dirty muggle way of murder.

Still, he took interest in the way the man's eyes slowly turned glossy and the way his hands clenched helplessly at Regulus' clothed arms. As if this would rip him away from Regulus. Force him to not carry out his duty. Beneath him, you did the same. Your soft hands grasping helplessly at his clothes. Pulling him in, pushing him back. Delirious.

"Tu vas le regretter, Black,"

"You gain nothing-"

"C'mon you can beg longer than that, give me a tale for Sirius.” He sneered. “Let me tell him that you put up a fight," he bent down.

"Let me tell him that his wife fought hard for me not to fuck her," you spat on him, he kissed you.

Then you knee him in the face. He jerked back, blood spurted in his hand. He smeared it against your knee.

"You palefaced-" you punched him this time, his teeth rattled. the bed met his back. The force ricocheting till the bed frame cracked and your chains went loose and Regulus was back on you like a feral dog.

You would not leave this place.

But youre quick, a snap of wind that pushes him to his back, elbow in his throat. Above, him you look like a God. Vengeful. And ready to destroy the only person who exists just for you. “You can't stop me, “

And Regulus is weak. A small pathetic thing just like Bellatrix said he was because his eyes burn. The edges wet with admonishment. The edges of his lips quiver. And suddenly all that anger bleeds away. He gripped your wrist. Sharps nail dug into your skin with something worse.

“He doesn't deserve you,” He pierced, throat burning. Above him, your eyes melted. The look indescribable.

“I know.”

“You will get bored of him, and I'll still be here waiting, watching,” he pulled you closer, nose to nose. You filled his vision. “Do you like making me your dog?”

You opened your mouth but no–

He persisted, tears fat. “Can't I just have you,”

“Can't you just want me? Is that too much to ask? Is it too much to want?” Regulus wanted so much already. He rarely ever had it in his grasp. The back of his mind filled with ideologies of freedom, and family and lonely nights in nowhere cities where no one would know his name. All of that was too far away though, intangible. But this–

He crawled into your space, gripped your skin.

–This was so close.

He shuddered. Lips red and his face damp with anticipation. Below him, you looked ethereal. The edges of your eyes burning soft.

“Is this really all you want from me? Sex? After everything?”

No. What Regulus wanted was much darker than that. More debased and immoral and such an awful sticky thing that he could not even admit it to himself. But for now, if that's what you needed to believe. If only a physical communion was what you thought he wanted of you. Then so be it.

He opened his mouth, ready to lie.

Yes.

It's right on his tongue.

Yes. He was not greedy. Yes. He did not want anything more.

Yes. The oath of one easily satisfied.

But nothing came out. His voice stolen as you looked up at him. Eyes wide. All seeing. Knowing of everything.

Regulus shook his head.

“No.” the word bled out in spurts.

Weak. Bellatrix whispered in his ear. So fucking weak. Maybe he was no better than Sirius.

Because you were only going to deny him. You were going to say no. Laughing at his face because that's what people did in the face of fools. Regulus grip loosened. Beneath him you sighed.

“Merde.”

“You're a piece of work, do you understand–” your lips twisted, eyes narrowed. “This is not my home and yet you keep me here, this is not my country and yet you keep me here, don't you think I've given up enough to simply be in your presence? Can't this be enough?”

You say that but Regulus sees the molten desire in your eyes. The way you flickered across his face, unable to stay in one spot but lingering all the same as you crowded in him too.

Suddenly the air was dry. Regulus forgetting how to breath as you leaned back. Exposing your neck, dematerializing the knife.

He gets closer. “Speak plainly.”

You looked away. Outside the dog was barely bones. Rotten in the earth. You seemed to contemplate something, eyes distant before you're brought back to reality.

“...I'll allow it.”

Oh.

‘We’ can have this. Not just him, not just you. This had to be a gift. Before your grip turned tight, your face feral. A certain kind of wildness found only in martyrs and heroes and righteous fools littered your eyes before you smiled, teeth bloody. “Ask any more of me and i'll leave you here,”

“Alone, and then you’ll have to kill me to get me to stay.”

"I will haunt you till you are dust and bones and-" he kissed you, his own blood smeared with yours before he pressed his forehead against your own. "Yes," he whispered, and it couldn't help but notice that it sounded like a prayer. Like holiness,a type of reverence found only at the foot of gods and priest.

He said it again. You froze.

"Just don't go where I can't find you."

He smiled.

Then he kissed you again, on your nose this time, then your eyelids. Then sweetly, softly the space between your lips and your nose. He sighed and then he took you.

He puts his mouth on you. Slipped his head beneath your layers of clothing.

Unbuckled and unzipped and pulled apart each single one before your bareness glistened in his face. Until he could see the disbelief at his urgency flood your features. The confusion at his delicacy. Regulus understood.

There was something horrific but about taking someone's defenses apart with a sensitivity. With the precision of a monster that did not have to rip you to shreds to make you feel fear. And when he got to your core Regulus wasted no time.

....You tasted like pussy.

Musky and sweet, and in your skin he smelt the juniper berry and in your lower hairs drenched with the smell of arousal.

Above him you flinched and you shivered. It reminded him of a siren.

The unseelie ones that would flinch and cry as he electrocuted their water. Taking their oxygen away, fucking up the chemical imbalance, till their nails cracked the glass,

All while his fingers brushed against your own. Your ring finger still entrapped by a silver snake ring. Regulus was not a good man. He was flawed with impatience, entitlement, narcissism, the list went on. But it was his entitlement that got you in his bunker. It was his impatience that made him act, his familial nature that got you here on your back. Body drained and his head placed timidly on your belly.

He listened to your heart beat through skin and bones. Through vertebrae and arteries. Because everything was louder there, your blood even sang for him. A frenzied beat that made your skin hot to the touch.

He collapsed further into you. Nuzzling his nose into the crux of your neck.

An unleashed dog indeed.

#regulus black x reader #regulus x reader #harry potter x black reader #regulus black x y/n smut #marauders era smut #regulus black smut #regulus black fic #regulus black x y/n #regulus black x you #regulus black x black reader #regulus black #tw: dark content #marauders x reader #marauders x y/n #tw: dubcon #tw: noncon #killer writings <3

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burnedwriter · 1 year

Text

‘’love game’’

a/n:i didnt think this fic was going to take me so long to finish,i apologise for the wait anyways i dont want to waste your time here is the fic.this fic is based off of a playlist on yt called playing tcg with the sumeru men.

warnings:smut mixed with fluff,foursome,c*mswallowing,rough bj,rough s*x,overstimulation,drunk sex,!gender-neutral language used.(had to censore stuff so my post doesnt get community labeled)

MDNI!

Getting invited to Al haitham’s and kaveh’s house for a friendly tcg duel was better than you thought it would be.Sitting around a table that was used as the arena,with one glass of alcohol in hand and tcg cards on the other.The room filled with laughter and kaveh’s angry yells towards cyno who was sitting across the table,accusing cyno of cheating and hidding cards but in reality he hasnt set up his cards correctly and got unlucky with the dice placements.

‘‘Kaveh stop complaining already’‘Al haitham hissed expressing his annoyance to kaveh’s constant wining of loosing.

‘‘i will stop complaining when i finally win a match’‘kaveh spat back at him as he looked at his cards like he knew what he was doing but he had no clue what he was doing to be exact just so he could make cyno second guess but everyone could see through kaveh and make out that he was pretending.

Their little dispute making you chuckle a bit every time,getting a scoff from kaveh as a respond.

The games kept going through out the night,everyone starting to get drunk but also the tension between cyno and kaveh that never seemed to extinguish any time soon as cyno was telling shitty puns to a very drunk and angry kaveh putting more gasoline into the fire.After playing for so many hour you got bored of playing tcg so you decide to suggest a change in the rules making the game more interesting.....

‘‘How about we change the game up a bit,im sick of playing over and over again the same thing’‘you spoke up, throwing your cards on table as you exhaled expressing your boredom.The three men raised their eyebrows curious of what you had in mind ready to listen on what you had to suggest.

‘‘what do you suggest then?’‘cyno said looking at you for an answer his cheeks flashed red against his dark complexion from the alcohol making him look quite attractive, but also making you think was it the really alcohol?

‘‘what if we played strip tcg the more games we loose,the more pieces of clothing accordingly,are you guys in?’‘you said you could feel a mischivious smile that started to form at the idea only as you waited for the men to answer

‘’sure’‘they all said looking at eachother to see if someone disagreed with your suggestion

‘‘Let’s begin the games then’‘you said starting to fix your deck for the upcoming challenges that have yet to come.

Turning out that you had to prepare more,after the challenge started you became the second to last person that had less clothing with the first being to no suprise kaveh yet again.You and kaveh barely holding on as you were both in your underwear while al haitham and cyno havent lost a single piece of clothing.

You tried your best to hide your almost naked figure,al haitham’s gaze felt like daggers were piercing your body ,with each time he looked at you,like you were his prey ready to jump over the table and devour you on the spot but everytime you took noticed of that he would turn his vision away from you and smile like nothing happened.Cyno on the other hand was trying his best not to look at your naked figure as he was closer to you than any of the others.Cyno snaked a hand on your thigh squeezing it softly,catching you off guard you turned to look at him only to see him having a small smile at the corner of his mouth.Lastly Kaveh stubbling over his words as a red line of blush run across his face every time he faced you.

At end the atmosphere in the small room,turned from a joyful and full of laughs to a lustful and full of lewd sounds one with cards and clothes littering the floor all around as you laid on the table on your back,your legs wrapped around cyno’s waist,as he pounded into you while your hands were occupaid with al haitham’s and kaveh’s cocks, stroking them.They towered over you placing their hands all over your body desperently grabbing parts of your flesh.

You see cyno grabbing your thighs,as his thrust became sloppier and mercilessindicating that he was getting close,his cock brushing against your sweetspot,you feel yourself closer to what would be your first climax of the night,the heat in your lower abdomen ready to snap at any moment,the same could be said for the other two men above you their cocks throbbing against your hand,With one last pump,cyno stained your inside and with al haitham and kaveh covering your exposed skin with white sicky liquid.

‘‘we are not done with you yet’‘Al haitham said pushing you back down on the table as he took notice of you getting up,he gaazed towards cynos direction giving him a sign to change positions.Now al haitham taking cynos place while cyno sat on a chair,getting a full view of the scene.Al haitham slipped in with ease,making you moan loudly and arch your back feeling yourself getting strectched, Unlike cyno,al haitham was girthier streching your walls even more than before.Kaveh’s cock touching your lips you could taste the saltyness from his previous orgasm everytime you licked them,he slowly pushed himself in your mouth slowly keeping his hips still so he doesnt gag you as he hit the back of your throat ,they waited for you to get adjusted to both of them.

After a few minutes of kaveh and al haitham waiting,they started to roll their hips into you in a matching pace while cyno sitting on the chair,his legs spread,strokinging himself as he watched you.The two men continued to pound into you filling the room with both gagging and the sound of skin slapping.Kaveh getting overwhelmed by the pleasure turning into a moaning mess throwing his head back as he used your throat as his personal fleshlight.al haitham’s abs flexed indicating that he was getting closer.Cyno leaned against the chair throwing his head back covering his eyes with his forearm as he breathed heavily,stroking himself,low groans could be heard comming from him.

Everyone including you were close once again for your second climax of the night and with one last thrust kaveh and al haitham finished inside you with cyno soon after finishing all ove his hand and spilling some of it on the floor.Swallowing every it of kaveh’s cum before pulling out of your mouth,letting you catch your breath and let you breath normally again.Seeing you try to get up kaveh rushed to your side knowing that you felt sore with al haitham and cyno soon after by your side.

‘‘the bathroom is around the corner let’s hope ‘’someone’‘ left warm water for us to clean ourselves’‘kaveh said antagonising alhaitham a bit in the process as he pointed to the direction of the bathroom,signing upon seeing the messy room as he looked around

‘‘after all of that you still complaining kaveh’‘said al haitham taking himself towards the the bathroom.

‘‘enough with your arguments we need to go and take a shower,here let me help you’‘cyno exclaimed with his usual monotone voice helping you reach the room as your legs were still shaky.With all of you marching towards the bathroom slowly you started to think,who knows maybe this is a sign for round two....

#al haitham x reader #Al haitam x reader #al haitham x you #al haitham smut #kaveh smut #kaveh x reader smut #kaveh x reader #kaveh x you #cyno smut #cyno x gender neutral reader #cyno x reader #cyno x you #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x reader smut #genshin impact x you #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin x reader smut #genshin x you

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erii-ya · 7 months

Text

Massacre Soldier Killer being a dad?

One Piece FanFic Killer x FemReader

A/N: I know it’s already so late, but still, belated Happy Birthday to our adorable vice-captain Killer. I’ve been so busy lately and couldn’t properly organize my thoughts, so my KillerxReader stories have been on a long pause. Anyway, I accidentally saw a YT vid about different types of writers and discovered that I am a ‘Pantser’ - a term most commonly applied to fiction writers, especially novelists, who write their stories "by the seat of their pants."—someone who doesn’t plan out much (or anything) in advance. So meeee. 😅

Content warning: Long story ahead. Swear words. Killing. Pregnancy. Abortion. WC: 7,9k *I decided not to split the story into multiple parts to make it up to whoever reads my stories*

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As a responsible vice-captain, Killer doesn’t plan on having a child with you until his partner, Eustass Kid, fulfills his dream of becoming the Pirate King. First, because the environment won't suit a child, he knows how dangerous it is in the New World. Second, he won’t be able to fully take care of you while you're pregnant with his child. And third, he’s unsure if he will be a good father.

However, by the time everything had been settled, his next priority would be you, probably thinking of building a future with you. He can’t promise to give you a perfect life, but he’ll try his best to make it fulfilling and worthwhile for you. He’s already blessed to have met you and still thinks about why the hell did you chose him when there are better men out there that are more deserving.

BUT, fate wants to make a prank out of it, and because of a slight miscalculation on your part, you end up conceiving. What’s worse is that you only confirmed it on his birthday.

************************************************************************

“Hey, are you alright? You’re pale.” Killer asked you while you were both in the middle of making Lunch. You've been pretty under the weather for a couple of days now.

“I’m fine. Just got a bit dizzy, is all.” giving him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I can take a rest after this.”

You caught a bad case of the flu last month; recovery took a whole week. Emma, the crew’s doctor, said it may be because of fatigue, so your captain, Eustass Kid, ordered you not to do everything simultaneously and to look out for yourself more. You tend to overwork yourself constantly, and everyone on the ship gets disoriented when you go sick. Mainly because you managed everyone’s daily tasks so that they would be organized.

“It’s better if you take a rest now. I’ll handle everything else.”

“Hell no! You’re the one who should be taking your sweet time relaxing since today’s your day. You should leave this to me instead.” trying to shoo him away.

“Nah. It’s just like any other day. Nothing special.” You still want to argue about it, but another wave of nausea hits you. This gives Killer all the more reason to kick you out of the kitchen. He insists you see Emma first to give you a check-up and meds, which you do since your uneasiness is getting annoying.

“Overworking yourself again, I see.” was the first thing the doctor told you once you entered her clinic.

“Not really. Captain’s keeping an eye on everything I do, so I can’t really move around like I always do. Told me to regain my strength first when it’s already been a month since I caught the flu.” you said after she gestured for you to sit on the medical bed.

“Can’t blame the captain. If you only saw the chaos out there while you’re in recovery. It was bad.”

“That bad?”

“It’s terrible.” you only answered with a sigh. When you first joined the Kid Pirates, you saw how disorderly the environment was and corrected that, although it took you quite a while to do so.

Emma started to ask you questions about your symptoms. After writing everything down and examining you, she returned to your charts to analyze the data for a diagnosis. A few minutes passed, and you saw her raising one of her brows while looking at your charts, making you curious.

“What? Did I end up with another flu? ‘Cause I swear, it’s no fun.” you commented, crossing your arms.

“Well, uhm, I actually have some good news for you.” she answered, then looked at you. “Two, to be exact.” Now, it was your turn to raise a brow. Usually, you’ll get both good and bad news, but having two good news?

“I’m dying here, Emma. Spill it already.”

“So, you don’t have a flu.” then silenced. It seems like Emma’s having some hesitation before telling you the other ‘good’ news.

“Emma!” you yelled, breaking her from her thoughts. She looked at your charts, then back at you, and did that at least three more times. The suspense is killing you.

Instead of saying the second one, she started asking you again. “Y/N, when was the last time you took the contraceptive pill I gave you?”

“This morning. Why?”

“Were you diligently taking those pills even while you were sick last month?” her question made you think back. If memory serves you right, you held off on taking the birth control pills while you were on a sick bed and never had contact with Killer around that time, either.

“I started retaking the pills after I recovered, though.”

“And when was your first contact with Killer-san after your recovery?”

“Well, it was the same day I retake the pill. The reason I remembered retaking it.”

“Ok, so was it the blue or the pink pill?” The what now? At this point, you’re at a loss.

“Emma, you’re confusing me. What blue and pink? It was always a pink pill. Never had a blue one.”

Emma face-palmed. By now, she was sure about your diagnosis. You were slow to catch on, but you eventually did after a couple of silences. And when you did…

“Holy shizz… Are you telling me that I’m..?” you can’t even say it. Emma didn’t say anything either and just nodded her head in agreement. The face that you’re making this time can’t be explained. A lot of emotions were bubbling up inside of you.

“Oh no. Oh fuck. Oh no.” you started to panic and became paler. Emma was quick to approach you after seeing you start a panic attack. You gripped her shirt and said, “This can’t be, Emma. THIS is not supposed to happen! I religiously took those pink pills you gave me for a year! Why now?! What’s with blue pills?! The pink?!” you’re practically screaming at her now with tears flowing down your face.

Emma covered your mouth tightly to suppress your screams. She told you to come down, or else the others would hear you unless you wanted them to know the big news. She’s right. No one should know, so you tried to calm yourself upon hearing her suggestion.

You inhaled and exhaled sharply while trying to suppress your emotions and tears. When Emma saw you had calmed down, she began to explain about the blue and pink pills. She said that she gave you two different bottles of pills before, which are colored blue and pink. Pink is for daily use, while the blue one should be consumed right after intercourse if, by any chance, you stop taking the pink pills regularly.

Since you were out with the flu for a whole week last month, you couldn’t take your regular pink pills, and Killer, being Killer, once he was sure you had recovered, took his time to ‘recharge’ you with ‘Vitamin K’ or as he’d like to call it. The miscalculation on your part was forgetting about Emma’s advice about how to consume the two pills properly.

You totally forgot about the blue pills since you never had a skip of the regular pink ones for over a year until you got sick. You thought by then, if you start retaking the pink pills, it’ll work just the same.

You wipe the tears continuously escaping your eyes and grab Emma by her shoulder. “This conversation will stay between the both of us. You hear me, Emma? No words about this can leave this room, and I’m dead serious.”

“Of course. My patients' records are confidential. Like you, I may be a pirate, but I still follow medical ethics. However…” she looked at you straight in the eyes, “I think Killer-san has the right to know about this too.”

Your eyes widen at her advice. “NO! Definitely not!”

“But he’s the father, Y/N!”

“And he’s also our vice-captain, Emma! He has his priorities, and that’s Kid. Captain won’t be happy to know about this too, and I don’t want to be a burden to anyone.” you insist. The doctor gave you a sympathetic look and didn’t say another word. You left and went to your and Killer’s shared bedroom. Your mind is too occupied with what happened in the clinic, but the exhaustion pulls you into a deep sleep.

II.

When you wake up, it’s already dark. You don’t know how long you’ve been out, and the first thing that came to mind was the revelation you heard earlier. Getting the flu again seems a better diagnosis, after all. You tried to shift in bed when you realized big, strong arms were wrapped around you and a leg locking you in place—warm breath blowing on your left temple.

You saw Killer sleeping peacefully beside you with his mask off. You were blessed to see that gorgeous face every day, and you couldn’t help but caress it. He moved slightly when he felt the warmth of your hand, tightening his grip on you.

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere, love.” you said softly, giggling at his actions. You heard him hum in agreement.

Minutes passed, and you savored the peaceful silence, listening to Killer’s rhythmic breathing beside you. You’re already content with this. Spending your days as a pirate alongside the man you love was challenging, but being in his arms like this at the end of the day makes it all worth it. He makes you feel safe. He makes you happy. He makes you feel…home.

You unconsciously placed your hands on your stomach. Family… You never thought of the idea before. Having a family with Killer. Not because you don’t like it but because of both your current situation. Especially when your captain, Eustass Kid, has come a long way to fulfilling his dreams.

That’s when you decide on what to do. The child will only be a nuisance, and you won’t let the child drag the crew down. It’s the only way you can think of. There’s no other choice.

Tears sting your eyes, and you try your best to stifle a cry when someone bangs the door loudly. “Oi, Killer! Get your fuckin’ ass outta here! We’re celebrating your birthday, and you hole yourself up in there? GET OUT! NOW!” it was Kid, banging at the door profusely.

Killer grunts but gets up anyway. He walked over the door to open it, displaying Kid’s grumpy face. “Fucking finally!” your captain said. He looked past Killer to peek at you. “You feeling Okay?” he asked with concern in his voice.

You smiled at him and nodded, “Strong as a bull, captain.”

He bobs his head, satisfied, and looks back at Killer, telling him to dress up and drag you out on the deck. Even added to keep your hands off each other for the time being and just get back to your business after the party before he disappeared. You laughed at his last remark.

You got up and went to hug Killer from behind. “Well, let’s get going, birthday boy, or the captain might feed us to the sharks.”

Killer chuckles, “I doubt it. He loves us too much to do that.”

You both dressed up and went to the others. Everyone is having a blast. You can hear them from where your room is. The night went well, and you’re enjoying the rock session Kid and Killer started with Killer being the drummer when the ship doctor approached you.

“How are you feeling now?” Emma asked. “Is that alcohol?!” snatching away the drink in your hand.

“Come on, Emma. I’m fine, and this’ll be the last time I can enjoy that.” trying to get your drink back from her hands.

“Are you seriously thinking of harming your child, Y/N?” she whispered harshly at you with wide eyes.

You stared at her, then sighed, “I am not. A’ight? Now give that back. I’ll look suspicious if I don’t drink.”

“Not if you’re feeling unwell.” Emma called one of the crew members nearby and gave the alcohol to him. Telling him you can’t drink because of an upset stomach.

Emma stayed by your side all night while Killer enjoyed his time with the other crew members. “He’s so respected, isn’t he?” you suddenly blurted out.

“Of course, he is. He’s the second strongest next to the captain and takes good care of all of us. Not to mention the special care towards you.” she gave you a knowing look. You hummed in agreement, a smile ghosting your face.

“He’ll be a good father, too, Y/N. I can envision it.” she added.

You didn’t answer and just gazed at Killer from a distance. Emma doesn’t need to let you know because you can see it, too. However, the timing isn’t right. There’s so much that Killer wants to do to help his partner, his best friend, and you can’t let yourself hinder that. Not you. Not this child.

III.

Six months later…

Kid approaches Killer, who’s busy thrashing the life out of a pirate from a crew they ambushed. “Killer. We’re done here. Let’s get back to Victoria.”

His words were brushed aside, and Killer continued to use the pirate as a punching bag. Killer’s been like this since you left without a word. He was letting out his frustrations of not being able to find your whereabouts on mindlessly and mercilessly killing anyone, earning him the title of 'Massacre Soldier'.

*flashback*

A few days after his birthday, the Victoria Punk docked on an island to get supplies. You went out with some of your crew members to shop when you split yourself from them in the middle of town and hired a boat to stow away.

At least, that’s what they all thought.

When, in fact, you return to the ship and hide somewhere you know they won’t find. You then waited for the right time to snuck out. Feeling sorry for the citizens who got hooked up on your own dilemma when your crew, together with Kid and Killer, almost flipped the island upside down just to find you.

You took it as a chance to escape and sailed away with a boat you bought in the morning. Stopped at the nearest island and snuck on a merchant’s ship you didn’t even know where it was heading. You did that a few more times until you ended up on a secluded island. Far from where you’ve been. Far from marines and pirates. Far from the man you love.

It was in an isolated area in the New World where help was impossible. The island's living conditions were poor but peaceful, and the island folks were friendly. You started your new life there, with the little soul blossoming in your belly.

You changed your name and your looks. Cut your hair. The purple hair Killer loved so much is now dyed silver. Your red eyes, once shining like a sparkling flame that Killer loved to stare at, have now changed to green. You were unrecognizable unless someone assessed you carefully.

You found yourself an abandoned small hut up in the mountains. It looked like no one had ever lived there for a long time, so you settled in and began your single life there.

Meanwhile…

“Who did you say was pregnant?! Y/N?!” Kid growled at Emma. The doctor felt shivers run down her spine. She’s standing in front of the big four while being circled by the crew.

“Y-yes, captain.” she answered meekly.

“Then why didn’t you tell us immediately?!?!” Kid was furious in disbelief. He was as worried as Killer when you disappeared without a trace. Killer, on the other hand, clenched his fists so hard in an attempt to stop himself from punching the doctor. He doesn’t care if she’s a woman. He’s so mad right now he wants to wring her neck right there and then for keeping your pregnancy a secret from him.

“For the record, captain, I did not PURPOSELY keep it a secret from all of you, especially from Killer-san,” Emma said in a defense. “God knows how hard I persuaded Y/N to get her to confess the matter to him. It didn’t even come to me that she would leave us. In fact…” and she trailed off.

Killer didn’t like the sudden halt. It ticked him off. “Why did you stop, Emma? Continue.” he said, but Emma was hesitant. “I said CONTINUE!” he shouted.

Everyone flinched and was surprised at Killer’s sudden outburst. He was usually calm and collected, but right now, he’s different. He’s trying to suppress his anger because he might go on a rampage if not.

Emma exhaled sharply before saying, “In fact, I thought she would most likely abort the baby.” without missing a beat.

Killer held his breath after hearing the doctor’s words. He was wondering if you really thought of aborting his child. Kid broke the awkward silence and asked the doctor, “What made you think she would do that?”

“Well, because when we confirmed it at the clinic the other day, during Killer-san’s birthday, she had a panic attack, telling me over and over that it shouldn’t happen. The baby, I mean.”

Killer’s shoulders dropped, which Kid noticed. It pains him to see his best friend getting crushed by the news.

The doctor continued, looking at Killer, “Killer-san, please don’t think badly of Y/N. It’s not like she doesn’t want the baby. It was only my initial opinion after seeing her fit in my clinic.”

“I was with her all night during your birthday celebration. I saw how she lovingly stared at you while gently caressing her belly. She was doing it unconsciously, I think. She even stopped drinking alcohol and taking caffeine since then, and you know how she loved her iced coffee.” Emma finished.

“She can’t live without it,” said Killer, to which everyone agreed. They know you can consume up to 8 servings of iced coffee daily.

“I believe she left because she doesn’t want to burden anyone and that the captain wouldn’t be happy to know about it. She was just thinking about all of us and how it may affect everyone.” Emma concluded.

“That dumb woman.” Kid gruffed. “Why the hell won’t I be fucking happy if she’s carrying my niece! Or nephew, whatever!” He turned towards Killer, “We’re going to find that stupid woman of yours, Killer. Even if we need to re-route.”

Killer nods, grateful to his captain, “I owe you, Kid.”

“No, we owe her. Also, she insults me for leaving this crew like that. Doesn’t she know by now that she’s my family, too?” Kid may be violent, stubborn, and grumpy, but he considers you his sister. You took care of him and his crew and did a lot to help him, too, so he’s quite disappointed with your actions. He hoped you could be more selfish than selfless.

*end*

Going back to the present, Killer only stopped thrashing the poor pirate when he felt satisfied. There were still no clues about you, and he became increasingly worried as the day passed. Knowing that you’re living by yourself with your growing belly in god knows where for half a year now.

“We’ll stop by the next island we see to get some supplies, and then we’ll continue to look around for Y/N.” Kid said to where Killer only nodded in acknowledgment. They went back to Victoria, and as usual, after cleaning up, Killer went to the kitchen to grab some beer. It has been a routine for him to drown himself in booze because it helps to calm his nerves and fall asleep. He had difficulty getting some sleep since you left, causing him to get insomnia.

A few days later, the Kid Pirates stumbled upon a small island that was quite isolated. It doesn’t seem like they’ll get their needed supplies in there, but they still need to dock to check and do maintenance on the ship. So they did.

“Killer, wake up!” Kid bangs on his door. “We’re docked on an island! Move your ass and get some fresh air before you rot to death!” he called.

Killer eventually went out to walk around the island to see if there were any supplies they could buy. At first, he was hesitant but thought he couldn’t always act like a child and should help the crew with the other tasks to lessen the workload.

He was looking around some stalls when he heard a familiar laugh, making him stop dead in his tracks. It was a laugh he had longed to hear. He did a quick turn to scan his surroundings, hoping to find his favorite purple hair that he hadn’t seen for six months, but to no avail. No purple-haired woman was around, but he could still hear the familiar laughter.

After carefully examining the area, his eyes then found the source. On a stall a few feet away, there was a silver-haired woman with her back turned against him, talking happily to the stall owner. She was the one laughing. He stared at the woman for a long time until she turned slightly at an angle that made it possible for Killer to see the side of her face. Silver hair and green eyes. He first thought it couldn’t be you until he noticed her bulging belly.

Was it really you? He felt his heart stopped at that moment. Breaking out in cold sweat, hands trembling, he slowly walked over to where you are—then stopped. He started having doubts.

Do you hate him?

Do you still love him?

What will you feel once you see him? Scared? Hatred?

Thoughts were running wild in his head, making it more difficult for him to approach you. So he decided to tail behind you instead, as discreetly as he could. He doesn’t want to surprise you and wants to check how you live your life here on the island.

“Uhm, hey, do you know who that woman is?” Killer asked the owner of the stall he was at.

The owner glanced in the direction he was pointing, “Oh, that was Marie. She’s pretty, right? Such a sweet girl. Poor thing was abandoned by the man who got her pregnant. Tsk, that scumbag…”

Killer looked curiously at the old man. “Abandoned?”

“Well, it wasn’t confirmed, but others said that. She’s a very nice kid but don’t talk much about her life before she ended up here. She lives in the mountains by herself. Occasionally, some of us visit her to buy some of her vegetables. She usually goes down here to sell them, but since her belly is growing fast, we told her to stop going up and down the mountains, or it’ll strain her and her baby. Would you like to buy some of these?” As thanks to the information he heard, Killer bought some of the stuff the old man was selling.

You started walking away, so he followed behind. You notice a presence following you, but no one is there whenever you turn around to check.

IV.

You felt chills but ignored the foreboding feeling. It could’ve been some pregnancy blues. But your anxiety about being discovered by the Kid Pirates was still there. Still, it has already been half a year, and they might’ve been too busy now to even think of you. You could still get some updates about them from time to time. The last thing you read about your former crew was their time in Sabaody two months after you left.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t hurt by the thought that they could move on quickly after your disappearance. Whether Emma told them about your pregnancy or not, it might’ve been unimportant, just as you thought. It only confirms your belief that you and the baby burden the crew.

However, sometimes you can’t help but think about Killer. What was his reaction after knowing about the baby?

Was he mad? Was he happy?

Did he try to find you?

Did he even know you are pregnant?

Tears would always well up in your eyes whenever you thought of him. You still love him after a long time, but you assumed that what you did was right. Tying Killer in an obligation he didn’t plan to have was the last thing you wanted for him.

Seeing your small abode gave you relief. Ascending and descending the mountains was quite strenuous; even the folks worried about you. But being alone up here can be lonely, and there is a need for someone to talk to.

Entering your small hut, you went straight to bed to rest. Your belly is protruding, making you consider whether you’re in your 6th month of pregnancy or not. Its size is kind of exaggerated. You can’t do much about it, though, since there’s no doctor available on this island. The things you do to take care of yourself and the baby inside you came from the tips and tricks shared with you by the old folks and fellow mothers living there.

There’s a sudden kick from your belly, a hyper one. It feels like the baby is getting excited for some reason. “Hey bud, what got you so active today, huh? You never kicked me like that before,” you said while caressing your bump. The baby answered with another strong kick, and it made you laugh.

You kept talking to your bump when a knock came on your door. It wasn’t loud, but it was strong. You’re not expecting any visitors from the folks, so you’re curious about who it could be. You slowly got up and went to open it.

“So you just open the door like that without even asking who it is.” says the man standing before you.

You turned pale and were speechless. Heart beating faster than ever you swear he can also hear it. Your grip on the door tightens, making your knuckles turn white.

“How can you be so careless, Y/N.” the man added, staring intently into your eyes.

You can’t find your words; even if you did, you know you’ll choke on them. He caught you by surprise, and you feel cornered. It was Killer. How he’s able to find you, you have no freaking idea. This island is isolated, and it’s rare for pirates, even the marines, to stop by, making it the perfect place to live your life in seclusion.

Trying to maintain your facade, you said, “I-I’m sorry, sir, but you might be mistaken. M-my na-name is Marie and not Y/N. I-is th-there anything I c-can help you?” mentally smacking your head for stuttering.

“Really? We’re going to continue playing this game, Y/N? ‘Cause I’m getting fuckin’ tired of this shit.” his words were like venom. It stings.

Killer slowly entered the hut. He was more buffer than before. If he pounces at you, you’ll be crushed for sure. Then you notice the thing that he’s holding: knives.

Is he going to kill you?!

Are you and the baby that bothersome that he needed to dispose of you?

You can feel the anxiety building up, and you start to have a panic attack. Breathing became hard, and you felt a sharp pain in your stomach like it was twisting.

Killer noticed how you clenched tightly at your belly, and your face painted an expression of pain. He quickly grabbed you by the arms in worry, but you shuddered at the contact, resulting in you pushing him away by force.

He was stunned. The face you’re making now, never in his dreams did he think he’d see you make that expression towards him. You were utterly terrified.

“Please don’t touch me. Spare me and my child’s life, please. Have mercy.” you kneeled in front of him, eyes closed, crying, clasping your hands like in prayer, begging for him not to kill you and the baby in your tummy.

Killer can’t believe what he’s seeing. Why did it end up like this? You were both happy and loving one day, but now you see him as a monster trying to kill you.

It breaks his heart to see you in this state. He doesn’t know what he did for you to be this terrified, but if you only knew how hard he tried to look for you. How happy he was to know you’re carrying his child. It may not be at the right time, but to hell with that.

You were cowering in fear when you heard a metal clasp unfastening and then a loud thud of something hitting the floor. You cautiously opened your eyes to see what it was and saw Killer’s mask. On the floor.

“Hi, baby.” you heard him say. His tone was soft and sweet, like how he lulls you to sleep every night back in Victoria. You feel his hands slowly cupping your face, guiding you to look at him. “Look at me. Please.”

There was a moment of hesitation before you gathered the courage to meet his gaze. For so long, you had hoped to see those beautiful blue eyes again, even for one last time, and now it was staring back at you.

He was looking at you tenderly while he wiped your tears. Not even a minute passed when you saw his tears flowing freely down his face, too. His lips are quivering like he was trying his best not to be so vulnerable in front of you. But he can’t stop. He waited for this moment to see you and finally hold you.

He pressed his forehead onto yours, and you stayed in that position for a while. No words. Just feeling the presence of each other. It was comforting. It was familiar.

Living alone wasn’t bad, but it sure as hell was lonely, and you bear with it. But now that Killer is here, even with anxiety and fear, the same feeling he gives you is there. You feel safe. You feel at home.

Your tensed body became more and more relaxed, and you were able to regain even breaths, the panic attack subsiding. It may be the longing that pushed you, but you thoughtlessly kissed him. He jolted in surprise but answered back with the same level of intensity. You lap on each other hungrily while gripping one another tightly as if one of you will suddenly vanish into thin air. It only stopped when you both needed to gasp for air.

“I fucking missed you,” Killer said in between breaths. “Please don’t do that again. You’re killing me.” pain apparent in his voice, and you could only nod in agreement.

“Let’s go home… back to Victoria. Yeah?” he asked, tucking away a strand of your hair behind your ears. You're too emotional to say anything so you nodded profusely.

Killer helped you stand up when you felt the same twisting pain again in your belly. You clenched on your stomach, breathing heavily. You felt something flowing down your legs. When you looked at it, you started to panic again. It was blood.

Blood was streaming down your legs, and you never felt so scared in your life. You were even more afraid now than when you saw Killer a while ago.

“Killer… Oh fuck… Oh fuck… The baby. Our baby. Oh my god…” you were frantic, and then you suddenly fainted.

Killer was quick to catch you, but he was horrified. He never ran as fast as he did today. He was scared shitless. He sprints back to Victoria with you in his arms, and the first thing he does once aboard is yell out Emma’s name, which startles the crew.

Emma came rushing and saw Killer carrying a woman in a bloodied state. She was confused until Killer said, “It’s Y/N. Sh-she’s bleeding. A lot.”

“Fuck. To the clinic, quickly.” although shocked, she understood the assignment.

Upon hearing your name, everyone stopped what they were doing and followed Killer and Emma. The others went to get their captain. The Victoria Punk was in total chaos again that night.

Rugged, heavy footsteps are heard closing in by the clinic area. After hearing what had happened, Kid rushed towards the infirmary. There, he saw a disoriented Killer pacing back and forth in front of the clinic.

“Killer,” he called out to his first mate, but Killer was too occupied to notice his arrival. Kid grabbed him by his right shoulder to let him know he was there.

When Killer realized it was Kid, he felt a little at ease. “Your mask.” Kid added, giving Killer a knowing look. He had never seen his best friend this lost, even forgetting to wear his precious mask, but he understood how severe the matter was.

“I finally found her, Kid.” Killer said in an anguished voice. He was looking at Kid, but his bangs covered his eyes. “We made up, and she agreed to return. Then she…she was…” his voice started to crack, “she was suddenly bleeding. She fainted, an-and s-she was so pale…”

Kid tightens his grip on Killer’s shoulder, reassuring him. “Oi, Y/N’s going to be fine. Don’t fucking underestimate her. She’s one of us, and there’s no way in hell she won’t pull through this.”

Rubbing a hand down his face, Killer agreed, “Yeah, she is… Of course, she is.”

Kid patted his shoulder, “Get it together, buddy. Take a rest. I’ll wait here.”. He was reluctant, but Kid insisted he take a breather. Being anxious won’t do him any good. He needs to trust that you and the baby are in capable hands.

But he just can’t leave. You have already suffered enough. The least he could do is stay outside and wait until Emma gives any news about your situation. He also wants to be the first person you’ll see once you wake up.

“I’m fine. I’ll wait for her here.” Killer declared, walking over to sit on the side of the door.

Kid didn’t push for it anymore. He knows how stubborn Killer can be if he wants it, so they both wait outside the clinic for the next hour or two when they finally hear the click of the clinic’s door opening. Emma emerges from inside, startled to see the two men towering over her.

“How is she?” they said in unison.

“Ghaaad… Don’t pop out of nowhere like that. You just gave me a mini heart attack.” she remarked, her right hand on her chest.

But Killer doesn’t have time for a chit-chat. He’s been so anxious all this time, “Emma…” he grumbled, which the doctor understood as ‘I don’t give a fuck. Give me an update.’ kind of tone.

“Okay… Okay… First of all, Y/N’s stable, and the reaper won’t be visiting anytime soon.” Hearing it lifts a heavy weight on Killer and Kid’s shoulders. They didn’t even realize they’d been holding their breaths until now.

“You should see her, although she’s still sleeping.” the doctor mused at Killer. “She’s been calling out your name the whole time.” Killer felt a knot in his chest. You’re probably still scared with all that happened.

“By the way, Cap’n, I need all the help we can get for another matter.“ Emma added, turning over to Kid.

“What is it?”

“You see, Y/N lost a lot of blood because of the bleeding, and it was only fortunate of me to be able to stop it. Thank the heavens. But the damage had been done, and if we don’t find a blood donor for her and do a blood transfusion soon, she might suffer from anemia, which can cause her complications when she finally gives birth. Of course, we don’t want that.” Emma explained.

Killer tensed at the information. He doesn’t want you to suffer anymore during your pregnancy, and if he could only swap places with you, he would.

He started to turn and walk away, probably to get help, but Kid stopped him. “Didn’t you hear what Emma said? Go to Y/N. I’ll handle the rest.” Kid patted him on his shoulder, then left.

Emma guided Killer to where you were, and there, he saw you peacefully sleeping, with an oxygen mask and other apparatus sticking to your body to help monitor your condition. The doctor then asked to take her leave to help your captain gather the possible blood donors and check their compatibility with you.

Killer watches over you the entire day and never leaves your side. Some of your crewmates would pass by to ask about your condition and check on their vice-captain. Kid went back to check on both of you as well and to give Killer the new mask he created, but Killer, for the first time, didn’t want to wear it. He said he’d like to make sure you’ll see his face first rather than his mask.

Although a man who doesn’t know emotions, Kid respects his best friend's sentiment and gives him the time he needs to be with you. He strictly told everyone not to bother the first mate and to go directly to him, wire or heat for anything.

The next couple of days that followed were uneventful; the blood transfusion was a success, and who would’ve thought that the best possible match to donate blood to you was your captain, Kid. It's a good thing Kid wasn’t drinking at that time, so he was able to transfer his blood to you readily. You stayed in the infirmary for a whole week until Emma deemed you were well enough to walk around and move again.

Despite that, Killer was stern to keep you in bed. He insists you get more bed rest, or you might bleed again. The poor guy was quite traumatized, but you couldn’t say no, considering that you saw the state he was in when you finally woke up.

He was sleeping, his head rested on the side of your bed, his hands were on your stomach, and the other was holding yours. You can still remember how tight his grip on your hands was like he was making sure you’ll still be there once he opened his eyes. You caressed his blonde hair with your free hand, and he jerked his head up instantly. You saw how tired he looked, exhaustion obvious in his beautiful face. You were even surprised he wasn’t wearing his mask.

Looking at him tenderly, caressing his face gently, you said his name, and all he could do was kiss your hands and gave you a series of I love you, and I’m sorry.

Emma, fill you in on what happened after you lost consciousness. “I wanna slap you so hard your head would go 360 on me, but then again…” she trailed off a bit before continuing. Guilt showing on her face. If she could’ve just supported you properly and earnestly, you probably wouldn’t have thought of leaving in the first place. “I’m glad you’re alive and now safe. I literally thought of poisoning myself to death if I failed to save you and the baby on time.” she chuckled, teary-eyed.

“Hey, don’t say that! You saved us, see? I’m breathing, and my baby’s well. You’ve already done so much for us, Emma. To be honest, if I only heeded your advice back then…” Emma stopped you, covering your mouth with her hand.

“Let’s not talk about that anymore. All’s well that ends well. Yes?” and you agreed. There’s no point in talking about the past.

You cleared the misunderstanding between you and Killer. You’re back with your pirate family and the man you love, and everything is returning to normal.

That is, after a long, heart-to-heart-ish conversation with your captain, though. You found it more challenging to talk to Kid than when you talked it out with Killer. He’s your captain, after all, and what you did was a disrespect to the man you swore your loyalty with.

*Flashback*

You’re resting in your and Killer’s bedroom when you hear a knock on the door, and it opens. Thinking it was Killer, you slowly turned around to greet him, but the one staring back at you wasn’t Killer, but Eustass Kid, and you weren’t ready to have a conversation with him yet.

“Captain…” you mumbled softly.

His face was as grumpy as usual, “Don’t call me captain if you’re not going to stick around with me.” he said flatly.

You can only bow your head in embarrassment and guilt. No form of apology you can give can amend the trust you broke when you left the crew behind. Kid might be furious but was only trying his best to contain it for Killer’s sake. You felt your eyes getting wet with the tears trying to fall.

“I-I’m so sorry, captain… It was never my intention to disrespect you and to hurt Killer. I-I only did it for the cre-...” You couldn’t finish your words because of what he did next.

Kid sat beside you, facing your direction, and forcedly hugged you. You winced in surprise but then relaxed after a few seconds. “Stupid,” he muttered. “I never asked for you to do everything or anything on your own. Don’t I always tell you to look after yourself more?”

His hug was tight but comforting. His arms were so strong that he could crush you instantly, but he was gentle to you instead. There was no hostility in that hug. Just a pure, genuine, loving hug. Like what a brother would give to his little sister.

Now the tears have finally escaped your eyes, and you could only hug him back while wailing out your apologies, to which Kid only listens. He was never good at emotions and words, so this is how he thought he could express his worries for you. Hoping you get the message and you did.

After a good 10 minutes, he broke the hug and stared at you. “Listen, Y/N. I fucking hate this moment with all this drama and shit, it’s awkward. But I’m fuckin’ doing it for you. Do you understand what I’m getting at?” you gave him a hearty laugh.

Of course you do. The gesture was enough to make you feel that whatever you do, he’s your captain but is also your friend. The bond you shared with him and your pledge when you first joined his crew won’t change and falter. In fact, it might’ve been more substantial than before. His donating his blood to you says a lot about it. It was as if the transfusion was a blood pact sealing the bond between you.

Kid never hid the fact that he was still disappointed in you, though, and that you should make it up to him. You gladly agreed and promised to make him as many cabbage rolls as you can.

*End*

The awkward, teary conversation ends there because prolonging the drama would surely make Kid sick. His letting you see his soft side was already a big deal on his part, and you sincerely appreciate the gesture.

The Victoria Punk was already sailing when you woke up, and here you are, walking around the deck to get some fresh air. Finally, you’re at peace. Everything has come to the right place after six months of hiding and guilt-tripping. You’ve found yourself back in the arms of the man you love so much, and your baby is safe and sound. What more can you ask for?

Strong, familiar arms wrap around you from behind. Their hands stop at your belly. “What causes you to think so deeply? Hmm?” Killer said while planting a kiss on the top of your head.

“Everything that had happened, I guess. Still can’t believe it was all because of my selfishness and failure to communicate properly with you.” you answered in all honesty.

Killer tensed and slowly turned you around to face him. “Hey, aren’t we done with that?” he asked, cupping your face.

You nod, “Yes, we are. It's just… it would still come to mind occasionally. But I’m fine.” you smile at him while holding his hands.

“Emma said you should stop thinking about stressful things. You shouldn’t even think of it at all.” you didn’t answer and just stared at him lovingly. He’s not perfect, and he has killed a lot of people. The same goes for you. You’re not sure if both of you will be good parents, but as long as the child gets his father’s traits, they will definitely grow as a good person.

You hugged Killer tightly, to his surprise. “I love you, Kil. I really do.”

“Where is this coming from? I love you more, of course.” he hugs you back, though not tightly, so as not to put pressure on your tummy when there’s a sudden kick from your belly.

Both of you glance at each other before bursting into laughter. But Killer suddenly halted and cleared his throat. “Why’d you stop? You know how much we love hearing your laugh.” then there’s another visible kick from your tummy as if the baby agrees with you. “See? Our baby likes it, too. We love how you laugh, so no need to be ashamed of it.”

Killer only scratches his head, but you know he’s blushing inside that mask. He kneels in front of you to level himself with your belly. “Hey, bud. We love you, too. Please don’t make it too hard for momma. We don’t want to trouble her, right?” The baby kicked again like he was conversing with his father.

“I’m starting to get jealous. They’re more active when it’s you.” you pouted, which Killer only chuckled in return.

“Don’t worry, baby.” he said, standing up, “It only means they’re just like you since you love my attention, too.” he added, which made you blush.

“Stupid.” you retorted—face burning red.

“Hey, fuckin’ lovebirds! C’mere!” Kid shouted from a distance, and you know exactly what it is for.

“He’s still at it?” you ask Killer in disbelief.

“Well, he’s too excited, I guess.” he shrugged.

You made your way to Kid’s workshop to be presented with his current masterpiece. “Think it’s good. This one’s better, aye?” Kid asked.

You face-palmed after seeing the finished ‘project,’ as Kid calls it. “What version is this already?” you asked back.

Kid thought for a minute before answering, “version 9.” he said blatantly.

“Are you trying to open up a baby store?! Because at this rate, I think you do.” Killer grab your shoulders to calm you down.

“Don’t care. The others aren’t perfect.”

Kid’s so-called ‘project’ is creating a baby crib suitable for your child, and he was so passionate about it that he kept making an upgraded version. The one he’s presenting right now is the 9th crib he made this week.

“You do realize that you’re more excited than us parents, right?” you teased Kid—an amused grin forming on your lips.

Kid went silent at the accusation and slowly blushed in embarrassment. “I AM NOT!” he shouted.

You laughed so hard at his reaction and continued teasing, “Uh-huh. If you say so, Uncle Kid.” you said, emphasizing the last part. You grab Killer out of the workshop before you hear Kid yelling profanities at you.

“I think he likes his new title.” you told Killer while you both walked back to your shared room.

“He sure does.” Killer retorted, chuckling.

#onepiece #killer x femreader #massacresoldierkiller x reader #one piece killer #op killer x reader #one piece x reader #killer x reader #massacre soldier killer

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