#zar is very funny

[theshiftress]

some of my fav quotes from zar’s fics (with no context) pt.1

(spoiler free) JUST LOVERS edition

- “Don’t mistake my incredulity with curiosity. I’m just appalled by your audacity, and I’m beginning to question your intelligence.” - Regulus Black 

Act One, Part One

- “Because of course, there’s another problem. Isn’t there always?”

Act One, Part One

- “James wants to bang his head against a wall.”

Act One, Part One

- “I’m afraid you’re surrounded by a bunch of queers, James,” Mary informs him solemnly.

Act One, Part Two

- “There’s a cardinal rule to never direspect Remus’ jumpers.”

Act One, Part Two

- “Who cares about the labors of Hercules, yeah? Give me love and death. That speaks to me.” - Regulus Black

Act One, Part Two

- “Do you have bad days?” “Oh Potter,” Regulus says softly, “I have bad weeks.”

Act One, Part Two

- “I’m not not gay.”  - James Potter

Act One, Part Three.

- “Sirius ‘Jealousy’ Black is about to hit the roof.”

Act One, Part Four.

- “He [Regulus Black] is so, so painfully gay.”

Act Two, Part One.

- “Your cock unfortunately points directly to Potter like a needle on a compass and he’s your North.” - Dorcas Meadowes.

Act Two, Part One.

- “A big, gay disaster.” - Dorcas Meadowes.

Act Two, Part One.

- “James says, which makes absolutely zero sense.”

Act Two, Part Two.

- “Five points to Slytherin, Mr. Rosier, for enduring such a shit father.” - James Potter.

Act Two, Part Three.

- “Who the fuck is Zar, and why are they eating mice?” Peter sputters.”

Act Three, Part One.

- “Regulus knows she thinks he’s a whore.”

Act Three, Part Two.

- “We need a club,” James announces. “A queer club of some sort.” “Isn’t that just you and your group of friends, Potter?”

Act Three, Part Three.

- “Mm, well, if I’ve learned nothing else, it’s that life won’t clear its schedule for you to adjust to new traumas.” - Regulus Black

Act Three, Part Four.

- “Lily had been briefly turned into a duck, though she’s changed back now.”

Act Three, Part Four.

- “Mate, you’re late for class and the dorm is on fire,” Remus says.

Act Four, Part One.

- “That’s what Effie and Monty did, if you think about it. They steal children all the time, so it’s alright.”

Act Four, Part Three.

- “Regulus anwers, because he’s a lying liar who lies.”

Act Five, Part Four.

- “She can’t be blamed; she’s a lesbian.” 

Act Six, Part One.

[zorkaya-moved]

Investigation Team: So why did you not have that self-reflecting moment of how you awaken your Persona? Zarina: Well... I'm quite well-aware of who I am, my flaws and my virtues. I don't pretend to be someone else to escape my true self, I pretend because that's funny.

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 32

chapter 51:

1. remus misses sirius and honestly they can make a person feel so fucking single, jesus christ

2. i like how remus is like “reg is james’…. boyfreind????? fiancé????? it would feel too disrespectful to ask atp”

3. “You can love Regulus, or anyone, so much you break the fucking scale, but…some people just don't know how to love themselves, and they have to learn that.” FUCKING PREACH REMUS

4. god, james is talking about how regulus thinks he doesn’t know how to love, when in reality, he loves so hard that he’s willing to die. and AHHHHH

5. 🧍🏻evan jumpscare

6. remus and james friendship >>>>>>>>>>>>

7. petition to reunite lily and remus

8. “Without a word of warning, [Pandora] brings Remus' hand to her mouth to press a quick, gentle kiss to the back of his fingers, then does the same thing to James. Remus feels his ears go hot, because he knows what that means, a Hallow gesture for deep admiration. No ones ever done that to him before, so he's a bit flustered by it, admittedly”

AWWWWW

9. “James, in love with a death eater. Who would have thought?” reading this line feels like such a jump scare. i’m the image of one of those really scared cats where their hair and tail is spiky

10. i’m honestly hoping that everyone can just make it to lily’s rescue. like plsss nobody else die. i love you all

11. “Sirius is currently complaining about the fact that he can't see the moon at night, tipping his head back and boldly requesting McGonagall personally to hang it in the sky just for him.” LMAOOO SIRIUS YOURE SO FUNNY AND I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT

12. “”He's my best friend," Sirius announces slowly, like Regulus is an idiot who can't understand basic concepts.

Regulus arches an eyebrow. "He's my fiancé."”

LMAOOO THIS IS SO FUNNY reg just took the words fiancé and fucking RAN with it

13. AWWW i love how excited sirius is for reg that he’s engaged to james!! he loves his brother so much!!

14. “Regulus huffs and rolls his eyes to the sky, literally begging for patience. "I said: would you marry me? He said: yes. Very simple. Asked, answered, engaged."

"You—" Sirius abruptly starts giggling, and Regulus stares at him blankly. "Oh, Regulus. Regulus. That's not—it's—okay, so you do realize that agreeing that you would get married is not the same as agreeing to get married, yeah?"

"No, I'm pretty sure they're the same," Regulus replies.”

i’m CACKLING

15. “Regulus bursts out. "I want you to keep being an idiot until you're old and ugly, and I want you to come to my fucking wedding!"” ☺️☺️ siblings

16. “"First of all, I would be old and beautiful," Sirius states firmly, holding up a finger. "I am going to be sexy until the day I die, even if I could live until a hundred. Second of all, I will be at the wedding. In spirit. Have it at night under my star. Or just—I don't know, slap a picture of me on a chair and—"”

😭😭😭 he knows he’s gonna be a hot old man. me also like, he’s so funny plss i love him

17. “Did [James] know he was engaged prior to Regulus announcing it when he sent the bagel? No. Is he going to protest it? Also no.” 😭😭

18. 😦😦 they were just talking about weddings and now reg is probably about to drown via crimson river. FUCK THIS

19. “People are born to live, and destined to die. Regulus doesn't care about destiny.” godDAMN

20. sirius helped him climb out with rope. they’re safe. it’s all good. i KNOW he has a pov but i was still so worried for him

21. 😧 my dear. flipping off the sky will NOT help you survive longer. they will just try to kill you more painfully.

22. 😭😭 not zar saying this was a lighter chapter cause he’s comparing it to the previous one. babes. reg’s worst nightmare just occurred again 😭😭

[rollercoasterwords]

hey so genuine question here, I saw that post abt sirius. do you actually dislike jude and zar or is it just for funny internets? also if you don't like them, why? I'm new to the Tumblr marauders community so I'm just curious

dislike is such a simple word. jude + zar are like that one couple in high school who are always kissing with tongue in the hallway and i'm the beleaguered student whose locker is right behind them going guys.....hey um....hey guys can i--can i just--

they are two tiny bugs who i found dancing under a teacup in my kitchen one night and i've been putting out traps to try and kill them but they won't die so i bought a microscope + i'm trapping them in a little glass jar 2 study

they are like if i ordered an uber to get 2 my Very Important Meeting and two circus clowns pulled up in the world's tiniest car and before i could speak they yanked me inside and now i'm crushed in the backseat and one is driving in endless circles while the other pulls multicolored scarves out of their mouth and im crying begging them to stop but their jaw is unhinged and scarves just keep coming out

hopefully that clears things up! <3

[electronickingdomfox]

"Yesterday's Son" review

Novel from 1983 by Ann C. Crispin. The author would continue the story in a sequel, a few years later. This one is somewhat different than the average Star Trek novel. For starters, it presents an interesting premise: what if Zarabeth had a son after her encounter with Spock (in the episode "All Our Yesterdays")? And what kind of dad would be Spock? (spoiler: a pretty bad one, at least at first). Thus, the main plot is not about battles in space or encounters with new civilizations, but about the relationship between Spock and his son, and how they overcome their emotional barriers. Of course, there's also a subplot involving Romulans to spice things up, but that's not the meat of the story. And the Romulan threat is there, above all, to strengthen the father-son relationship.

I liked this novel overall. Poignant at times, and with a rather bittersweet (yet satisfying) ending, it offers good character drama. Zar, the son of Spock with Zarabeth, is well developed and sympathetic, and his failed attempts at reaching out to Spock are pretty moving. It's also funny to meet another secret, emotional relative of Spock, years before Sybok appeared in canon.

Spoilers under the cut:

During a casual conversation about Sarpeidon (the now destroyed planet that Zarabeth lived in 5000 years ago), Spock comes across some disturbing photographs of paintings, taken from a cave in the planet before its destruction. The paintings depict a Vulcan face very similar to his own, but with basic differences. So Spock puts two and two together, and realizes how badly he screwed up; some fathers may forget their son in a car, but he forgot his own in an ice cave, five milleniums in the past! Spock decides that it's not fair to abandon his child like this, and convinces Kirk to bring him to the Guardian of Forever, so he can rescue the kid (and Zarabeth if possible).

Since Spock can't get rid of Kirk and McCoy to attend to his family business, the three of them are sent to Sarpeidon's past, around the time when his son was still a kid. The weather is frigid, and after a few days of pointless search and avoiding dangerous beasts, they finally find a trail. Just then, a hooded figure attacks them, but they subdue him, discovering it's actually Zar. They miscalculated while travelling through the Guardian, so instead of a kid, they find a grown-up man in his late twenties (thus too old to pass as Spock's son). Back in the cave, Zar explains that his mother died seven years ago. So completely alone now, and thrilled at the prospect of meeting his father and exploring new worlds, Zar agrees to go to the present with them (it's not like he needs a lot of convincing, anyway).

In the Enterprise, Zar makes some new friends and starts adapting to the modern way of life. However, once the rescue's done, Spock retracts behind his Vulcan wall, and starts being really cold toward his son. He barely shows interest in him, other than giving him lessons in science and teaching him how to control his telepathy (and you thought that Sarek was bad...). Things get even worse when Zar discovers that the warm, passionate Vulcan that his mother talked about, was just the result of Spock suffering a regression in his trip to the past, and that he probably never loved her. Unlike his father, Zar is a much more emotional Vulcan, due in part to his greater human heritage, and he shows a different empathetic ability. He can sense other people's feelings, and he can also project his own feelings on others. Under these conditions, Zar becomes much closer to his other dad McCoy, instead of his own father.

Meanwhile, some Romulan ships have been sighted around the Guardian of Forever's planet. The secret of time-travelling through the Guardian is only known by a few in the Federation, but the Romulans suspect something, and if they learn how to tamper with time, it could be disastrous. Zar starts feeling sick, and finally faints, a feeling he later recognizes as an omen of impending death. He also realizes something while looking at pictures of Sarpeidon's paintings (though we don't know what at this point). Effectively, upon reaching the Guardian's planet, the Enterprise finds the archeological personnel and the first landing party massacred by the Romulans. The intruders have also set a cloaking device around the Guardian, so they can't see how many Romulan soldiers are deployed.

Given his ability to sense the enemies' feelings at a distance, and his survival skills, Zar volunteers to infiltrate the Romulan camp. Spock goes with him, to install a force-field around the Guardian, so the Romulans can't use the portal. However, more Romulan ships are approaching, and Kirk gives them a deadline. If they fail to keep the situation under control, the Enterprise will have to destroy the whole planet, whether Spock and Zar are still there or not (WTF Kirk!!?). During the mission, Spock grows closer to his son, and Zar comes to understand his father's true feelings for him, and why he has such difficulty expressing them.

In the end, the usual status quo has to be restored, so Zar needs to return to his own time. It turns out the painting from Sarpeidon's past that alarmed him so much, was his own drawing of the Enterprise. He's thus the one who brought many technical and scientific developments to his planet, after his experience in the starship. And time-travelling shenanigans are confusing, but I think that an apparent plot hole was properly explained: why did Zar speak English? Of course, it was him who teached the language to the other inhabitants upon returning. So many generations later, Zarabeth would speak it (remember she came from the future in the episode), and would in turn teach it to her son in the past. It's... complicated, but the circle is closed. On the downside, I feel that Zar's departure was a bit rushed. I would have expected a greater resistance from Spock, and definitely from McCoy.

Spirk Meter: 7/10*. They're brief moments, but pretty powerful. First, and despite the statement that Spock can block other people from intruding into his mind, it seems that Kirk has developed the ability to read his thoughts, even at a distance. Kirk also insists on going with Spock through the Guardian, to the point of blackmailing him if he refuses. Later, Zar complains to McCoy that "there's only one person that Commander Spock cares deeply for, and that's... [...]Not me." In the end, and before departing, Zar asks Kirk to "take care of him" (meaning his father). And when Spock hesitates and attempts to follow his son through the portal, Kirk grabs him, and this happens:

"Spock. He doesn't need you." And he wondered if the Vulcan caught the unvoiced addition, "And I... we... do."

At least, poor Zar seems to take well the fact that his dad didn't love his mom, because he has this weird thing going on with his Captain...

More subtle, yet perhaps more interesting, are the Spones elements, even if they seem one-sided on McCoy's part. McCoy joins Spock in his trip to the Guardian in an even more forceful way than Kirk. Basically, he bursts into the turbolift uninvited and with all gear ready, and blackmails both Spock AND the Captain so they bring him along. Then he's pretty worried about Spock's feelings upon meeting his son for the first time. Once back in the ship, McCoy develops a close relationship with Zar, calling him "son" all the time. Which makes Kirk wonder why he acts as if he was his father, instead of Spock. And the doctor argues with Spock about Zar's education, and also reprimands Zar for rebelling against Spock. So it's easy to see a parallel here between Sarek and Amanda, and Spock and McCoy, as a "distant father/loving mother" pair. And it's noteworthy that the author of this novel was in contact with Howard Weinstein (who writes the intro here), since the latter's novel "The Covenant of the Crown" has also Spock and McCoy acting a bit like parents to a young girl. Besides this, Spock wonders about all the people that have tried to be physically close to him. Those include his mother and now his son, of course, but also Leila and... McCoy.

*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.

[sabrielmoose]

The Human phrase of “eyes being the window into the soul” is bull. Its not scientifically possible.

At first they wondered, how can you tell exactly what others are feeling, just from their eyes? How?!

They’re just eyes. Nothing special. Humans eyes aren’t even as big as the Zoor’garth or as many as the Thenns of a thousand eyes. They can’t even change colour like the Datten!

That was what Zar think as well. Their friend Rachel had brown eyes that didn’t do anything special. Of course, like always in a story like this, they were proven very very wrong.

It was after they had become close “friends” as Rachel called that Zar would notice something more.

Rachel eyes would gleam when she ate her favourite snacks or when something funny happened. The colour remained unchanged but they reminded him of moons when they gleam with something. Curved into two tiny crescents.

They would glint. Like a spark has been set off, when something catches her interest. Almost like a predator catching sight of prey, he realised with a shiver. Her eyes would narrow down slightly and they would sharpen.

Funnily enough, it seems that Zar was the only one who noticed the subtle movements. Maybe it’s because as Rachel had said, they were “best friends forever” and had been granted special privileges. Or maybe it’s because he made spent more time with them.

Whatever the reason may be, Zar himself doesn’t really care much. Rachel is still Rachel.

In the end, it’s just one of those things that make a human human. Best not to think about it too much, lest he becomes like one of those crazy human-booklet scientists.

[gaywizardzone]

deliriously in love with your dgm fanart. i stumbled into a full course buffet. exquisite, splendid, 10/10 no notes. do you have any DGM fic recs, bc i have suitcases full of DGM recs,

ok first of all thank you so much!! dgm is i think the thing i've drawn the most fanart for in my life cumulatively? in many bursts of insanity over the years. lol. so i have a lot of fun drawing it and i'm very honored that you like what i've made so much. also re: your other ask my worstie and collaborator ozwuv and i are working on it together since you sent it to both of us (we made a joint google doc to combine our perspectives lol) so the answer might not come from me but you'll get one!

second of all i am kind of an old livejournal era hag in terms of my taste in fanfiction in general and my history with this series in particular, so there are exactly three things in here that are less than a decade old and two of them are from 2016. naturally this means that a lot of it is now divergent with some details of how the plot and characterization and etc has actually gone (sorry to everyone back in the day who thought kanda was looking for some missing sister or something. one truly could not have possibly seen all of that coming). that said they still hold up to me in terms of general character dynamics and being fun and well written and such. recommendations also depend on what you like! i will generally not put that much shipping in here because there aren't that many of those i've read and would recommend in the first place (no hate to our strong and beautiful yaoi warriors, i used to read nearly anything back in the day, it's just that not too much of it has stuck with me) but there are some things that are so iconic to me that i could not in good conscience not include them. lots of this is kanda-centric because i like him :) putting it all below the cut

Hard Living by metisket - the aforementioned ship fic that's too iconic not to include. changed my brain chemistry when i first read it many many years ago. i seriously considered making it the only thing i put on here for a second just for the bit. To Me this is actually such a classic that it transcends shipping. the humor is very sharp and funny and i'm so in love with the concept of dying young for them meaning getting old early first and having to deal with it all together. they're so damn hilarious. it should happen to them. it does in my dreams. it never will but in my head there will always be a world where it does <3 i love to draw fanart of them as old decrepit men at 35 and maybe i'll post some of it someday. obviously it was written pre-alma so you just have to accept that it's wildly inaccurate in that regard. anyway pretty much anything this author has written for dgm is really good, i will put a few more metisket favorites on this list but check it all out even if i didn't include it. also this particular one is the inspiration for my most favoritest kanda fic <3 below

Blooming From the Mud by zarinthel - this is not just me shilling fic by someone i know. i am an absolute kanda diehard and this is really THE fic for me in terms of like hitting all the things i love about him. zar number one kanda understander. incredibly funny and compelling i don't care if you don't know anything about bleach (i don't either i haven't read it since middle school) or that you haven't read the fic it's inspired by (though you should) or that it's unfinished. you all should and in fact must read it. kanda's life is both so sad and so hilarious because of how sad it is and his pov here is just so excellently funny because he really is such a funny individual. also not a slash fic though it does really highlight how close and kind of insane his and allen's relationship is in a way that i find extremely delightful and accurate and just wonderful. they make me sick (positive). really good. so if you're a non shipper but you care about them you should read it and if you're a shipper you will also certainly enjoy it anyway so you should read it. truly for everyone!

Chimera Obscurant by moonsheen - i tend to struggle with most kanda/alma fix-it fanwork i've encountered despite loving them dearly because i rarely feel like anyone evokes the way their relationship is both strong and a bit unsettling (at least to me) without swinging around into being too edgy (i fully admit i have not explored super deeply because i get frustrated easily so i'm sure there are things that would appeal to me that i'm missing). this is one of the very few things i've read for them that i've been like yes i think this is beginning to get at the kind of atmosphere i want to see. if i remember correctly this was written before kanda came back to drag allen into accepting support and friendship so i'm just like "oh whatever" about its incompatibility with that. fanwork for ongoing stuff truly creates divergent timelines in my head. anyway this is the most nsfw thing that will end up in here and it's not particularly explicit, but heads up that it is there in case you're averse to that

In his Heart by harukami - another kanda/alma but just kanda technically. i read this and was so delighted that i made a :D face in real life. i've assimilated this into my worldview like i think this is something he would do. he's crazy like that.

Economies of Scale by liketolaugh - last kanda and alma one but this one's here less for the romantic aspect and more because i'm so endeared by the idea of fresh out of the lab kanda being so angry and miserable but also completely blindsided by all the stuff there is in the world. ten year old who is learning about so many new animals. really funny and cute and sad.

siblings, probably by scarlet666 - this one's for the kanda and lenalee enthusiasts. the best friends lovers. i love them so dearly i put the level of energy people usually put into shipping into their bestie-isms so naturally this was for me. huge shoutout to this person for writing 20k words about them if nobody else in the world has my back i know they do. i have the memory of a goldfish and this is long enough that i can't really scan quickly to refresh my memory and make more detailed comments but i know it deserves a spot on here. my note from when i bookmarked it just reads AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH but i never leave a comment in that field at all usually so that speaks volumes i think. life is so beautiful sometimes. peace and love on planet earth <3

Welcome Home by metisket - for the rest of this list i am about to hit you with the metisket beam. the author whose work i most fondly remember from my youth by far, which means that's what's stuck with me and what half of my recs will be. i love this one dearly because i love a normal person perspective in insane anime settings type of fic and reever is so delightfully normal and longsuffering and also funny as hell. love how his relationship with komui is in this. not a ship fic and am not recommending it as such but it did make me in the back of my head go "komui/reever is almost like roy/riza without the war crimes for people who are cringefail mad scientist enthusiasts." sane responsible second in command type slash babysitter who is devotedly loyal to crazy irresponsible boss but also wants to kill him a little bit. they're so great to me

Growing Up by Accident by metisket - just so kanda and allen and the way their relationship is. having the exact same feelings about something but approaching it so differently that they want to attack each other. love them 4ever. the way metisket writes allen's internal voice is also delightful to me (like not JUST here but in general). he's so jaded and funny. probably my favorite allen to read out of anyone who writes him ever. and kanda is always just so...kanda.......<3

Sand Castle by metisket - (smiles and blood leaks from the side of my mouth) i love you allen walker. i love this look at allen's growth pre-series from cross' perspective and how he managed to become the hilarious twisted convoluted wonderful little freak that he is. allen is so.....everything to me truly i would never have it any other way. really kind of darkly funny but also like agonizingly emotional. delightful

Mask and Mirror by metisket - love this take on what the inside of lavi's head is like, and also the way all the character dynamics shine through even in such a short thing, they're all so wonderfully cute and funny. the sense of humor is really great. lenalee didn't even make a real appearance but even the brief mention of how she and kanda are had me giggling.

in the circus series by metisket - certified classic. i love timcanpy pov and this whole thing is just so emblematic of my fond memories of old dgm fanworks. i love anything that highlights the way they're all just so immensely fucked up to the point that it's actually incredibly absurd and funny. i'm pretty sure metisket's LJ has more mini outtakes from this series but i'm too lazy to dig through the dgm tag right now so i'll just link it so you can do it yourself if you're interested.

lastly if you're looking for someone to share your recs with you're free to! i am on a personal level picky as hell and my taste in styles and approaches to fanwork was forged in the livejournal mines and has not evolved with the times LOL but i also don't judge <3

[randomcomicbookreading]

Ka-Zar #5 (1981)

Auto-conclusive flashback episode where Ka-Zar tells Shanna a sad story of his past, involving the native Savage Land settlement, his sabretooth "friend" Zabu and a rabies outbreak.

Clearly because an editorial mistake, the artistic credits are missing in this issue. A quick search in Google solves the mistery: written by Bruce Jones and pencilled by Brent Anderson. In 1981, Jones already had a long experience on writting for Warren magazines, free of infamous Comics Code Authority restrictions, and it is noted in the inherent maturity of his script for this Ka-Zar episode. While Zabu remains missing, a crazed specimen of sabretooth is attacking people of the settlement, resulting in deaths from direct aggression as well as deadly infections from a mysterious contagious disease that Ka-Zar soon identifies as rabies. Ka-Zar fears the infected animal is Zabu, anyway he joins the expedition to hunt the beast. Conclusion: the raged tiger (who finished eaten by a t-rex) was not Zabu, but Tongah, the hunting partner of Ka-Zar gets infected and he has to accept his upcoming death.

The story is narrated in a melancholic mood, where Brent Anderson's dramatic style of drawing bodies (with a touch of homoerotic sensuality) has an inportant role. A good handful of relevant subjects are touched in very few pages: the relationship hierarchy between a person, his beloved pet (kinda…) and other humans, the confrontation between beauty and cruelty present on virgin nature, the conveniences and inconveniences about renouncing to civilized world…

This adult tone makes exteme contrast with tons of advertisment pages oriented to kids. The dissonance between the "supossed vs. actual" readers of comic-books was already strong in 1981. Specially funny and idiosyncratic the ad/mini-comic where Fantastic Four advertise candies.

Purchased at Comic-Book Exchange (Notting Hill, London) for 50p

[littlesadzap]

(crimson rivers chapter 50)

I only have three things to say:

1. I have cried all my tears this chapter has devastated me

2. I apologize for not trusting Zar and Regulus, guilty, I am very sorry :c

3. Zar you are a fucking genius, this chapter was a work of art and I loved it all (although it made me cry but it was exactly what I wanted him to do, it's not funny if it doesn't hurt ♥️). you represented these characters in a spectacular way.

ps. I hope that in the next chapter we see James and Remus' reaction to the events of chapter 50

[zorkaya-moved]

anyways.

let zarina top raphael. let the ex-songbird of mephistopheles top the rowdy son. she won't let harleep top her either. no, she tops in both cases. she'll make it worth the time.

[satans-helper]

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you'd like to know better!

I was tagged by: @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine, thank you! ❤️

What book are you currently reading?

Watch for Me on the Mountain by Forrest Carter. It’s a novelization of Geronimo, a very remarkable Apache leader with a super robust life and history. It’s been a really fascinating--and horrifying--read. I'm a pretty avid reader of Indigenous and Native American lit and history.

What do you usually wear?

Black on black on black. The occasional mossy or olive green or baby blue. Always pants, I still love my skinny jeans. I like more classic, "simple" styles typically. I find it difficult to find cuts that actually flatter my body, so the less flash is usually the better.

How tall are you?

5′11″. Which also makes it hard to find clothes!

What’s your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

I’m a Taurus and my birthday is Cinco de Mayo 🎉

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

Mostly just my name, but some of my friends and family call me Z or Zar. One of my coworkers calls me Zareeb, which I find funny

Did you grow up to become what you wanted as a child?

Absolutely not!

What is something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?

I’m really good at setting boundaries, especially in my work life, and also managing self-discipline. I’m pretty bad at not being critical of and judging people. Been working on that for years.

If you draw/write/create what’s your favorite thing that you’ve done created?

I'm really proud of all of my fan fiction. A big fan of the fanfic series I write in particular. And a lot of my other writing, especially some of my poems. I can't choose one thing.

Dogs or cats?

I grew up with both but I'll always be a cat person (and am also a rat person 🐀🐀)

What’s something you would like to create content for?

I'm still enjoying fanfic writing, making collages, leisurely painting, and writing poetry

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

My current fan fiction LOL I'm always writing something! Also making different playlists. My obsessions are pretty routine for me.

What’s something you were excited for and turned out to be disappointing?

I was excited to try this new hiking trail today. It was the most boring trail I've ever been on.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I move really fast. I dominate those hiking trails!

What’s something you wish you had at this moment?

The promotion I'm working toward (Lord, WHEN???), more money, land, a house, a personal trainer, more time with friends.

If you’re up for it, I tag: @only-a-heartbeat-away @wonhakwoon @defkisshalen @ramblinguitar @writingcold @stonesponytail @colorstreammind @ina90sstateofmind 🌲

[ess-presso]

hello ess !

that fic rec sounds wonderful im v excited to read :) my turn: paper rings by apricusapollo (zar just reblogged this rec so maybe u already saw it but it sounds so good) but for good measure heres another: 10 things i (dont) hate about you by kjms (jegulus 10 things i hate about you au)

tay time <3 i almost do, today was a fairytale, & forever & always !

chatty time!

that line about harry becoming RAPIDLY obsessed with draco will never not make me feel insane. how did jkr (derogatory) even write that it sounds like something from a fic fr.

your star converse sound so cool, i think ive seen someone wearing the same ones around and they were so cute. i love them

i love the trojan horse & the story of troy too <3 it was prob one of the first myths i learned and the rest is history. also did u know that some people thought the trojan horse was REAL? like. people in my GREEK MYTHOLOGY course. maybe thts just a common misconception or something but idk. i find it very funny

little women 2019 is SO good. i love the entire cast sm and the vibes are just astronomical.

jumanji is SO fucking funny. ill never not lose my shit at the weapons valet part its just. so dumb i love it

americans being a novelty there is SO funny. youd think that they wouldnt be here in canada but oh. they so are. i think a lot of americans (at least west coast americans where our accents are fairly similar) think canadians are like. identical to them. but that is so wrong we habitually will make fun of anyone with an american license plate up in canada.

my cats! the oldest is named pixie. (she was really tiny when we got her & i was obsessed with fairies when i was younger lol) and ive had her since kindergarten. so like a LONG time. shes a mean old lady now but i love her. the other two are siblings! theyre a few years old but still act like kittens & their names are mike and el (yes after the stranger things characters i dont wanna talk about it) which is very unfitting because the cats are SIBLINGs but the characters are in a relationship. (for the record i suggested artemis and apollo as names but was swiftly shut down. i have a family of haters)

and yes we dont get snow here. at least my part of canada. i live at pretty much sea-level on the coast so its just rain sadly. but pretty much like. every other part of canada will see snow in the winter at some point or another !

and pansy x percy? wait i kinda love that. never wouldve thought of them together but they actually sound cute.

fuck james marry sirius and KILL remus?? honestly respect. (and "mummy's got a job to do" REAL LMAO)

and omg starting with the silmarillion? that is BOLD. i havent even touched that book yet. from what ive gathered via osmosis i think it can almost be read as an encyclopedia for tolkien's world. so its just a lot. godspeed with that!

and yes. the shadowhunters chronicles is based on hp fanfic. BUT i read somewhere it was actually draco x ginny so every day i pray thats true. (hey another rarepair) but fear not the series is actually good. and theres like a million sequel & prequel series within it so you dont really have time to think about the incest .

and yes podg! the movie with ben barnes is a HORRIBLE adaptation. like its so different from the book so beware. but its still mildly entertaining bc ben barnes is gorgeous so.

"drunk procrastinator" being ur movie title is so real. cue me every weekend when i have a big paper to write or something.

and yes! cats! you should get one. they will change your life i swear.

the amortentia trope is SO good. i eat it up every time. same with the veritaserum. bonus points if theyre doing a veritaserum drinking game/truth or dare>>>

thats actually a pretty useful weird talent. running late and need breakfast? cereal.

and yes! thats a gas station order! your best friend being your chauffeur REAL. i dont drive so my best friend is my chauffeur & im the gps & dj.

poppies & lavender are so nice. i have a ton of lavender in my garden and its so nice in the summer when it blooms. hydrangeas are so pretty too. the colours are absolutely gorgeous

pluto! i love pluto sm. one of my fav planets (i refuse to say dwarf planet. shes not a dwarf in my heart shes huge) aside from maybe neptune.

and oh my god. a phone call during a funeral? the ring tone being BABY GOT BACK? idk how you survived. i would have been mortified i could never show my face again.

saxophone is so nice. sometimes all you need is some smooth jazz and a massive glass of wine or something.

answering questions time:

poutine! omg im so glad you asked me this question. in short its just french fries covered in gravy and cheese curds. a lot of people think it sounds gross/think it looks gross (it does look...questionable sometimes) but i SWEAR its so good. very good comfort food & and strangely good when you go to the movies.

unpopular marauders opinion......hmm. maybe that barty would be well suited as a ravenclaw? i know his house has never been confirmed but he canonically got 12 OWLS so the boy is SMART plus he SLAYED being the DADA prof. (not that other houses arent smart. u know what i mean) (but i still love him in the slytherin gang. they have my whole heart)

unpopular opinion about life: its okay to be weird and just silly sometimes. some people are just so caught up in being "normal" that they forget that we're all just. people. like its okay to be silly and live our lives the way we want! (maybe not an unpopular opinion but i know there are people out there that are just. really stuck up & could do well to remember this LOL)

dream car - i dont drive so IDK LOL but ive always liked colourful cars. like give me a bright red or forest green or cobalt blue car. theres a SEVERE lack of colourful cars on the road nowadays its so sad.

i havent seen the apprentice! i dont watch a lot of reality tv in general but from what youve told me about it i might have to check it out cause it sounds entertaining.

i totally believe in soulmates both platonic and romantic. like theres gonna be people you meet in your life that youll click with instantly and theyll become a part of u in a way even if you drift apart etc. like my best friend is prob my platonic soulmate. ive known her for quite literally my entire life (i think i was only a few months old when i met her) and shes literally my sister .

hidden talent: maybe not exactly a hidden talent but im really good at geoguessr ! oh also i can untie almost any knot. i guess thats more of a hidden talent. kinda useless but really handy when my converse laces arent cooperating.💪

favourite villain: prob either loki or darth vader. in a way theyre both anti-heros and i personally love morally grey characters so🫶

ive never had my heart broken! i probably internalized effy's "nobody breaks my heart" from skins too much so. i simply dont let myself get close enough to people so i dont get hurt. works every time👍

ever broken a heart: i think i did indirectly whoops. but luckily only once. long story short one of my friends liked me on & off during high school, i got confrontational while heavily under the influence and told him i didnt like him that way. he DID ignore me for the rest of the year but yeah. the rest is history. i think he came out as gay recently so. good for him!

your question time!

favourite greek god/goddess?

fav marauders fancast(s)?

hogwarts house?

fav greek myth(s)?

soldier, poet, king? (praying youve seen this trend)

one thing you cannot leave the house without?

if you were from the percy jackson universe who would be your godly parent?

top 5 albums of all time?

do you believe in soulmates?

thats all for now. talk to u again very soon🕺

-bee

bee bee bee hello i missed you n i love u <333

on god , i love these type of stories that are partly based on taylor songs . paper rings is one of my favourites on lover , so this is going into my marked for later ! & i love 10 things I hate about you too !!!! (cameron is my favourite character . HE LEARNT FRENCH FOR HER!!!) your fics recs are absolutely stellar!!!

here’s one for you - (‘unbreakable heaven by sequin haze’ - based on ‘Cruel Summer’ , ft friend-with-benefits Jegulus & trans regulus !!! )

tay tay -

i almost do - WOLFSTAR - i think of it as wolfstar because to me it’s basically sirius to remus while he’s in azkaban ‘i bet sometimes you wonder ‘bout me’. And i very much think that remus has dreams about sirius touching his face and asking him to try over again , and remus is 🤏 this close to saying ‘okay’.

today was a fairytale - JILY - i think it’s so inexplicably joly after their first date !!! ‘this magic in the air // must have been the way you kissed me’ that to me is their thoughts in canon, after they kissed for the first time on their date. (also james’s smile would so take lily to another planet , just saying)

forever & always - JEGULUS - I can just imagine james telling reg ‘forever and always’ and then reg being in his head like ‘you promised me forever’ and james going away like a ‘scared little boy’ because reg got the mark. it hurts my poor little jegulus heart.

chatting <333 -

ISN’T IT ??? the woman was so concerned about making her characters at hetero as possible that she just made them gay squared. (and the amount of people i’ve seen asking for the fic when this quote is in a tt. like , babe , no it’s from the og books .)

I LOVE MY STAR CONVERSE TOO !!! very cute indeed they’re amazing . (still my red ones beat everyone and everything >>>)

people think the horse is real ?? like do they really have that little faith in the human race?? in the middle of the war being like ‘wow there’s a giant horse at the door of my city ! this isn’t suspicious at all , let me bring it in !’ is something someone would actually do 💀💀💀. like bro no , give homer his credit.

I LOVE LITTLE WOMEN SM TOO. I watched it for emma , and i came out in love with timmy & flo.

jumanji is honestly such a comfort watch it’s one of my forever favourites.

nah americans are genuinely so annoying sometimes. like especially the piss annoying tourists , always standing in the way. like i’ve heard too many of them correct the way brits pronounce things ( honey , it’s aloominum not aluminium. STFU BITCH) and when they start talking so you talk back and ask where they’re from , why they always say ‘dallas , texas.’ like bro was giving me her gps location , why not just say ‘america’ ??? (the worst one was when i saw someone say that ‘the ancients didn’t build stonehenge aesthetically’)

PIXIE , MIKE AND EL???? THAT’S SO CUTE AND ADORABLE OH MY GOD. (i agree artemis and apollo would’ve been a fucking amazing name.your family just don’t get it.) my friend actually has a cat named pixie who is also a mean old lady!! this pixie fuckin hates me she tried to scratch my guts out once. but i think she’s warming up to me now , because she took 10seconds to do that last time instead of her usual five.

bee u live in the 1% of canada that doesn’t get snow !!! ULTRA-RARE POSITION IN LIFE ACHIEVED !!!

i never would’ve thought of pansy and percy either, but i was scrolling and came across it , and i’m a pretty open-minded girl, so i was like ‘why not’ and i was pleasantly surprised. (here’s the fic i’m talking about - ‘the secretary by pacificrimbaud’ it’s really good !! )

fucking james marrying sirius and killing remus is the most controversial decision i’ve ever made , but i STAND BY IT.

for now i’m just staring at my copy of the silmarillion willing it to become smaller. idk if my brain can handle more than like a page a month.

AT LEAST IT’S NOT RON X GINNY !!!!! maybe i’ll give it a shot one day many years in the future. it seems like there’s at least 50 books and she’s… still not done.

i’ll read the book first , then , as i always do. I’ll watch he movie , but only for ben barnes. I love him.

DRUNK PROCRASTINATOR FOR THE WIN. ( me on the roof rn trying to write my paper that was due last week. and the other one that’s due tomorrow! hopefully lu shows up soon with the monsters and good vibes!! he has no homework (he does his stuff on time) so he’s just gonna be keeping me company.)

CATS CATE CATSSS . studying with one purring in your lap sounds so peaceful !!!

amortentia trope >>>>>>> (i’m actually writing a scene in the quaffle & the snitch , where reg is dared to make james fall in love with him. like a bet movie. i’m loving it already.) I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HONESTLY !!! ‘you love me ?? you’re lying.’ ‘i’m on veritaserum you dumb fuck i’m NOT. lying.’

cereal is my go-to for breakfast, but sometimes i do get apple turnovers on the weekend with my chauffeur. (i’ll be referring to the best friend as either ‘chauffeur’ or ‘lu’ (which is my nickname for him) because typing out ‘my best friend’ is going to take forever.)

thank fuck i got the gas station order right. lu is ordered to be my chauffeur. sometimes we go on midnight grocery runs to the big tesco. (once got drunk and bought the entire stock of lurpak. thankfully there were only four tubs !! (lurpak is rich people butter btw) ) i’m the dj , which is mostly tay tay. he involuntarily knows all the words to shake it off and my tears ricochet now.

YOU HAVE LAVENDERS IN YOUR GARDEN????? THAT’S SO AWESOME ???? they look so nice but i kill a lot of plants. but maybe i’ll buy another bouquet and keep it alive this time??

PLUTO STAYS WINNING. SHE IS A PLANET. NASA DON’T MAKE THE RULES I DO.

(and the baby got back was so embarrassing it’s UNREAL. but it was lu calling to ask if i wanted pizza , so at least i got pizza ?? )

jazz and wine and a best friend to dance around the kitchen with >>>>>> life made .

reviewing your q’s . -

poutine sounds amazing , people are just haters. why do americans hate on poutine when they have ‘jello salad’ like god hates a country but it ain’t canada , sweet pea.

HE WOULD SLAY AS A RAVENCLAW !!!!! and he slayed as a dada professor too !! (but he did traumatise my boy neville so minus one point for that) (he slays as a slytherin too , because i like him to be a part of that friend group , yk?)

YES DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!! the world would be a better place if people stopped trying to make everything the same !!

when i was younger , i wanted a pink car. now i just want lu to drive me around forever. his car is black , so unfortunately not colourful .(the lack of colour on the streets should be a crime.)

THE APPRENTICE IS SO WORTH IT !!! i love it so much it’s so funny honestly watch it watch it !! New eps every thursday (watch season 17!!)

yes soulmates are platonic and romantic!!! i met lu in primary , and i think i’d just about die if he were to leave me . like he is life i love him , i’d kill for him.

I just searched up what geogueser is , and i’ve found my new hyperfixation !!! will be updating with my skills on this later. (i wish i had your lace-untying skills. 90% of the time i’m in 70 different positions before they’re actually untied.)

‘Luke i am your father.’ that’s all for this one.

love that you’ve never had your heartbroken !!! ( I have , last year. from a girl called victoria , who’s actually kind of a dick now that i think about it. can’t believe i was crying over some random bitch. lu & monster are the only consistent things in my life!!)

nah your friend a piss-bag for being all ‘ooh you don’t like me , WELL I DON’T LIKE YOU.’ that’s rude. if he was a real one , he would’ve stayed. bro came out as gay ?? i’m waiting for his apology 🤨🤨🤨.

my q’s !! -

god - apollo // godess - artemis. i love those two a lot actually. the sun and the moon >>>>>

now , vis a vis fancasts. i love andrew & ben , not dane . i love the edits of atj , he has such a big range of scenes , and i think some of his scenes are very james ! but my default james is this guy - (search up mo malik on tt if you don’t wanna click the link , it’s the pinned video on @motheh0e account with around 8.4 mill views.)

full respect if people don’t imagine him though ! as for reiky, i keep seeing him bent over some ladies knickers , and it makes me laugh a lot . but he could be james too , definitely!! he’s not my default though. My fc for evan is hugh laughton-scott , and for barty it’s maxen danet fauvel. (ik i spelt it wrong , i’m on the roof rn give me a second) & for pandora it’s elle fanning , and for lily , annalise basso. for pete , lewis capaldi is my favourite, his character is what imagine peter to be (if peter was good ). BUT MY FAVOURITE BY FAR IS OF COURSE REGULUS BLACK AS MR TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET!!!! i live for this one. whoever fc’ed him , i wish them only good things in life.

3. GRYFFINDOR !!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHH. (my first one was a slytherin but i lied on a tonne of the q’s and got gryffindor on my second account so I’M A GRYFFINDOR .)

4. orpheus and eurydice kills me every fucking time man. like if he’d just waited for one more second. they’d both be alive. but he loved her too much not to look at her. (trojan horse is a close second of course !!)

5. soldier . i see everyone talking about king and poet , but where’s the stuff about the noble soldier ??? (i wanted to be king and the almighty ruler so i’m a bit pissed. might pull a macbeth.)

6.phone . (obviously, but i’ll give you another few because that was too obvious.) purse (i lost it like three times this academic year already) & my bingo tickets from three years ago in which i won a tenner (reminds me of gold times.) also my planning notebook because i get a shit tonne of ideas on a walk. OOOH OOH ALSO MY HEADPHONE . need to bop out to taylor , of course.

7. just did the quiz and got athena ! not bad , if i do say so myself !!

8. folklore , evermore , 1989 , lover & rep. (all taylor but i have other faves. but without these i’d die.)

9.yes , of course !!! i think soulmates are there , very much. for example , lu is very much my soulmate , platonic , and i’d do anything for him. absolutely anything. ANYTHING . (for reference, i’d only ever share my food with him. )

q’s for your next journey to my ask box -

top 5 albums ?

hogwarts house ?

divergent faction ?

favourite fun fact ?

soldier , poet or king ?

gold or silver jewellery?

taylor or lana ?

cruel summer vs don’t blame me.

my tears ricochet vs the great war.

favourite candle scent?

pet peeve ?

what makes you laugh the most ?

do u have a middle name ?

how common is ‘eh’ and ‘hoser’ in canada ?

(that’s all for now bee , but i shall be awaiting your reply like a wife waiting for her soldier husband to return from war. don’t die on the battlefield, bee . come back soon !)

[milkyway247]

The funfair part 5 of 5 - The tunnel of love

‘’Well, at least we have one thing to report on this abysmal planet; funfairs suck’’ frowned Zarbon who was now just about managing to walk in a strait line again having spent the last ten minutes sitting down and willing the world to stop spinning.

‘’Aww come on Z! The foods great and the spider was cute too!’’ teased Dodoria as the other man shivered.

‘’We should get back to our landing patch and our tents’’ frowned Zarbon rather fed up.

‘’Aww, just one more ride? Pleeeeeease?’’ pleaded Dodoria, trying rather unsuccessfully to look cute.

‘’Absolutely not!’’ huffed the other, making Dodoria pout.

‘’One more and I won’t tell anyone I had to carry you out of the haunted house?’’ the large man bribed, and with his eyes narrowing slightly, Zarbon paused.

‘’Not another roller coaster’’ he stated flatly, making Dodorias face light up.

‘’Ok, something different!’’ beamed Dodoria looking around. ‘’Oh! What about that one –the tunnel of love?’’

Zarbon frowned and raised a very elegantly waxed eye brow. ‘’I only just stopped feeling sick, I don’t want to sit though a lecture about what humans think about love!!’’

‘’I don’t think it’s anything that bad’’ reasoned Dodoria ‘’and look -there’s boats. You like boats, right?’’

Deciding that a boat was probably the better option out of what else was available, with a deep sigh Zarbon closed his eyes and nodded, allowing the other to take his arm and pull him over to the kiosk.

Absolutely knackered from their long trip to earth, then the flight to the fun fair, and then the adrenaline of the frights at the haunted house and the roller coaster, finally coupled off with how much he’d eaten, Zarbon let his heavy body lull against Dodorias and his head rest against his rather broad shoulder as the cosy two person boat they were in gently rocked from side to side along the shallow channel of water.

‘’This was a good day’’ smiled Dodoria resting his read gently on Zarbons.

‘’Well... I guess it was better then what our usual work days consist of…’’ yawned Zarbon sleepily as he lifted his head up to look at the funny little animatronics dancing around and singing. Looking over as his comrade Dodoria paused when he noticed how much the lighting was making the others eyes seem to almost glow… that gorgeous rich golden colour.

Puzzled Dodoria took hold of Zarbons chin gently between two of his large clawed fingers and turned his head to the side slightly, frowning as the others delicate features all seemed to be accentuated by the dimmed lighting.

‘’What is it Dodo?’’ asked Zarbon in confusion over what his comrade could be looking at.

‘’I just… never realised you were so pretty before’’ answered Dodoria honestly –not being the kind of guy to care about what he sounded like.

‘’O…oh…’’ blushed Zarbon looking away, only to think for a few seconds before shyly looking back. ‘’Do… do you really think I’m pretty?’’ he asked timidly. Dodoria nodded, gently running his thumb over Zarbons cheek.

Deciding to give a little surprise of his own, Zarbon bit his bottom lip nervously before reaching up and placing a light and tender kiss on Dodorias plump velvet lips.

Sitting back down again Zarbon couldn’t help but smile –watching out of the corner of his eye as his comrade raised his fingers to his lips in shocked confusion. ‘’Wha… I… But… Zar… Zarbon…?!’’

Resting against the wider man Zarbon closed his eyes again. ‘’You know what? I think I like this ride the best, Doria…’’ he sighed, letting the other man continue to flounder helplessly.

[keepsmagnetoaway]

X-Men: The Hidden Years 3 (February 2000)

John Byrne & Tom Palmer

Onward with this series which isn't yet really about anything? Like there's a lot going on - probably too much, in this issue - but, why? Beast and Cyclops have infiltrated ghost-Magneto's hidden underground city where mysterious white bat-people oversee slave labour for some nefarious purpose, while Lorna and Alex rush towards the Savage Land to help them, Iceman is AWOL, Angel is being looked after by a new, as yet unidentified group of Savage Landers, and Jean is a prisoner of ghost-Magneto.

What does this issue need? A new character! And not just any character, but fucking Ka-Zar. Ughhhhhhhhhh.

I don't have the strength to talk about Ka-Zar so let's go back instead to Angel, who is learning that the white bat-people are immortal ancestors of other Savage Landers who have been tricking and enslaving them for centuries (I also don't have the strength to explain this), to which Angel's response is "Man-- that bites!!", which is very funny.

And then they introduce him to...this thing, who is some kind of mutant version of themselves and the hottest fucking thing Angel has ever seen. What is this story even about.

In the last few hurried pages Beast and Cyclops discover some kind of sinister mega-balloon (??) and Jean, who had somewhat perfunctorily escaped, is recaptured by ghost-Magneto.

I keep - perhaps unfairly - mentally comparing this book to First Class, which was basically doing single-issue storytelling, while this is going for wildly ambitious mega-stories, which is sort of cool, but there's a lot riding on a lot of different aspects of this and I will be very impressed if the climax makes any kind of sense.

[watching-pictures-move]

Dispatches from TIFF #2

Hey folks, after two long years, I’m doing TIFF again, so I figured I’d make a little diary out of it with reviews and other thoughts. 

Kacchey Limbu (Yogi, 2022)

There aren't any big surprises here (except maybe one camera move during the climax), but this is executed with enough energy and humour that it's very hard to dislike. I enjoyed the immersion into cricket culture (famous players are namedropped in regular conversation, the characters are given derisive nicknames from Lagaan), and what can I say, cliches are cliches for a good reason. I cringed a little near the beginning, but had a pretty good time by the end. 

Holy Spider (Abbasi, 2022)

This uses a serial killer plot inspired by real events to expose different currents in Iran's religiously repressive patriarchal society, tracing through the ways said culture is conducive to the killer's actions, in terms of direct motivations, lack of empathy for the victims and limited willingness or effort to actually catch the killer and hold him accountable. This isn't really a thriller or a procedural, more so a series of episodes alternating between the killer carrying out his actions and a journalist trying to report on and crack the case, as well as his eventual trial, and plenty of scenes (particularly the closing interview with the son) make an impact. Zar Amir Ebrahimi won the Best Actress prize at Cannes, and I can confirm that she's very good.

But at the same time, I concede this is a personal hangup, but I sometimes struggle with movies that wallow in sheer ugliness in the service of a specific point. Movies like Maniac and Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer are not exactly pleasant to spend time in, but they have a certain honesty and lack of pretense in grappling with the evil they present. Here, and in stuff like Martyrs, there's a certain level of calculation that I find off putting, as if it's pushing your face in the muck while pretending otherwise with its message. Perhaps I would have appreciated it were there more grace notes when we followed the killer. After the first victim, we don't get much sense of them as people. One of them is even rendered cartoonishly (she's too heavy and strong to be overpowered initially), yet the movie is unwilling to go full Frenzy and have us identify with the killer during his predicament. (Aside from some moody nocturnal cinematography, this avoids relishing genre elements.) Now that would have been really daring.

On a side note, this screening marked the return of one of my least favourite parts of seeing movies at TIFF: people who don’t understand how Q&As work. Multiple people took up question spots to offer extremely long winded compliments to the filmmakers but not actually ask a question. The host was savvy enough to turn them into questions, and I understand people are a little starstruck and whatnot, but they need to cut that shit out and let people with actual questions speak. It’s a pet peeve about the format that my previous screenings this year managed to avoid (the Q&A for Sick the previous night I thought was particularly good in terms of the questions asked).

The Origin of Evil (Marnier, 2022)

Basically French Parasite, although the point is less satire about capitalism than relishing the layers of each characters’ awfulness as they’re peeled back like an onion. Some solid visual style (including some well deployed splitscreens) and a nifty score make this one pretty entertaining to sit through.

Sanctuary (Wigon, 2022)

The premise “Margaret Qualley dominatrix movie” already carries a good deal of inherent intrigue, but I can confirm this is a sharply directed (check out those groovy, tilting, roaming shots when the hero searches the room), sharply written (lots of funny, specific dialogue to colour their psychosexual games), very entertaining two hander with a pair of magnetic lead performances, particularly a distressingly sexy and unhinged Margaret Qualley. Yes, she plays a sociopath with no concept of personal or professional boundaries, but I can change her. 

Yes, it’s probably a little too on brand for the dominatrix movie to be my favourite thing I’ve seen so far in the festival, but as it says in the bible, “Judge not that ye not be judged.”

[legendary-renegade-stance]

I DEF MEANT FOR THAT 42 TO BE 41 OOPS BUT I LOVE ZAR FUN FACTS

ohohoh and watch as i answer 41 anyways

41. What associations do they bring to mind? Words or phrases, images, metaphors or motifs? Why?

Ravens/black feathers, fire/smoke, trauma and/or tragedy in general, she's a very tragic character lmao. Uhh, there's a motif of healing after you were harmed and learning to let down your walls and get close to people again. But there's also stupid shit in there, like the general energy teenage boys have where they do dumb shit like tape someone against a wall--Zar used to be the "ZARIEL DON'T" sort of person, and while she's tempered it somewhat, she 100% would still lowkey encourage people to do something stupid because it'll be funny.