I think the most toxic relationship i have is with myself. When i look at the mirror the only thing I can think is "ew, why do you look like that" "you disgust me" "i hate you" "why can't you be better" but then somewhere along the endless days of being sleep deprived and no human affection, I'll feel attractive, in a twisted way; in a way that makes my voice sound like honey, trying to trap you, trying to see how much I can play with your mind.
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I hate the way i feel. I can't mentally deal being around people much yet i crave that unbreakable bond between genuine friends. It sucks.
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I run and run and run, No matter how far away I try to get, I'm still in the same place I was before.
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That empty feeling haunts me reminding me of the happiness I once had but now feels like a far away dream.
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Why do you always come to my side when I'm about to get over you?
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"Notes"
Me Pt.1
I can't look at mirrors without seeing all the imperfections that I am, I can't look at mirrors without feeling disgusted.
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My days blend together yet I constantly look at the clock, quietly changing ever so slowly. As I desperately await the moment I can be back in bed tucked safely and the pressure of my age no longer torments me.
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When I tell you that you shouldn't love me, I'm not saying it because I don't want you, I say it because I do. All I want is for you to be happy and I know I'll just hurt you. So, please don't love me.
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