us-being-us2

[us-being-us2]

So, I contacted our old vet who has seen my cat within the last year, and she was able to prescribe asthma medication without a visit or repeat x-ray. I paid for the medication and my cat sitter to pick it up- all told $35. I also made an error in calculation in my budget with trying to get what I need before service dog comes and replace my broken phone, and I need $85 to get back to baseline, $185 to be ready for a dog this month if one is found that soon, if anyone can still help. It's much less than $500, and I believe people might help me get back on my metaphorical feet here.

Help needed with vet bill for autistic person's ESA:

Venmo- @Bethany-Goff-1

Cashapp- $EzekielBethanyGoff

I need to take my cat to the vet for asthma that is worsening, and all told, after exam fees, chest x-rays, medication, and paying my cat sitter to take us there, it's going to be like $500. I only have like $60 on my care credit and got denied for scratch pay. I have pet insurance and will be reimbursed like $200 of it, but I need help having the money to begin with. If anyone can help:

Venmo- @Bethany-Goff-1

Cashapp- $EzekielBethanyGoff

[us-being-us2]

I'm selling this dog gear. $35 if you take all together, but i am willing to separate. It will just cost more. Buyer pays shipping. Everything is size small or extra small. The blurry image is size small black dog shoes with grip. I didn't want to open the package for someone else's shoes. Everything is brand new never touched a dog. Removable patches and matching leash included on the I <3 Mommy harness.

[us-being-us2]

Spent some time outside with my aide yesterday. I was able to stay out longer than usual because so much sensory discomfort just melted away when I drove into the shade and because my aide stayed present with me this time, instead of being a source of sensory distress by having a loud phone conversation as we walked like last time. We walked in the sun (well, I rolled my powechair) around the building, and I showed her the dog relief area, since my dog will be coming soon, ans she may be helping. Then, we looked at everyone's gardens and identified as many plants as we could, which, having both grown up on homesteads, was most of them. Just not every flower. But all the food. You can see in the photo that my half a raised garden bed has just started with the native grass and native wildflowers sprouts from this year's planting, as well as volunteers from last year's flowers that I let go to seed so that native pollinators could overwinter in their stems and roots. After that, I was really overstimulated, but I happened to roll into the shade, and it helped a lot abd bought me more time outside. After a few more minutes, though, I saw that it was 3 minutes until my neighbor was supposed to come over for computer help (he no-showed twice yesterday), so we hurried back upstairs.

[us-being-us2]

Help needed with vet bill for autistic person's ESA:

Venmo- @Bethany-Goff-1

Cashapp- $EzekielBethanyGoff

I need to take my cat to the vet for asthma that is worsening, and all told, after exam fees, chest x-rays, medication, and paying my cat sitter to take us there, it's going to be like $500. I only have like $60 on my care credit and got denied for scratch pay. I have pet insurance and will be reimbursed like $200 of it, but I need help having the money to begin with. If anyone can help:

Venmo- @Bethany-Goff-1

Cashapp- $EzekielBethanyGoff

[us-being-us2]

The #rottie might have an issue with male dogs, which would disqualify him, so we're waiting for more info, but he's beautifully trained. The yellow lab mix is untrained, but we're evaluating for temperament because training can always be done after I get him. #servicedog #servicedogcandidate

[us-being-us2]

Dopamine Seeking

Do any other ADHDers or autistic folks find that they try to wring every last drop of dopamine out of every activity that actually gives a registerable amount of dopamine, to the point that they're wildly overstimulated/feeling ill/ no longer having and enjoyable time by the time they stop? Does anyone have trouble recognizing when to stop/ a stopping point not dictated by these uncomfortable feelings that persist after stopping? Suggestions/hacks/coping strategies? Trouble with transitions and task switching doesn't help.

[us-being-us2]

Screw ‘narcissistic abuse awareness day’

Your abuse was valid. Your ableism is not.

Narcissistic people don’t have some special secret way of abusing people that no one else is capable of doing.

If a NPD haver happened to be abusive, they’d use the regular abuse tactics every other shitty person uses.

Autistic people can be abusive, but we don’t call it autistic abuse. People with cerebral palsy can be abusive, but we don’t call it cerebral palsy abuse.

Being abusive is a choice, having a personality disorder is not.

Blame the person, not the disorder.

[us-being-us2]

”autistic people don’t do [ extremely common higher support need , higher level autistic trait / symptom ] , that just stereotype”

you need include us too : you need include childish autistic person , you need include nonverbal autistic person , you need include autistic person who drool , you need include autistic people with intellectual disability , you need include autistic person with loud messy public meltdowns .

can not hide behind “it just stereotype” because that not true . there are many people very disabled by autism , you need remember us and include us .

[us-being-us2]

you cannot talk about the homophobic murder of jonathan joss without including in the conversation that he is indigenous.

american indian men are at the 2nd highest risk of death by murder compared to all other ethnic groups. in their lifetimes, 82% of native men report having experienced domestic violence. yet the overwhelming majority of perpetrators are non-natives (88% of native men and 92% of native women who reported violence said their attacker was non-native). what’s more, tribal governments are often stymied in their attempts to bring justice against non-natives, meaning that many of these cases go unresolved.

this was an intersectional attack. the fact that he is indigenous matters, even if the motivation was homophobic, because it made him even more vulnerable and disposable in the eyes of his killer.

as always, look into MMIWP to learn more, and speak up for us. miigwetch, take care

[us-being-us2]

Was challenged to take a picture of something that makes me happy today, so here's my cat friend, my plant friend, and my friend Sol.

[us-being-us2]

I got really dysregulated this morning. My autism coach picked me up, and I thought we were going to my primary care provider's small, quiet office to get my bimonthly I injection. I know everyone there, and they know me. I know the environment and what to expect, and it's only moderately overstimulating in the waiting room, where I spend minimal time because they know it's hard for me. I don't need nearly as many coping tools there as in other environments. But when we stopped, we were not there. We were at the big hospital, to see a new specialist, and I didn't have much charge on my AAC device, didn't have my noise canceling Headphones, didn't have a hood or scarf, didn't have sunglasses, didn't have anything to do for the longer time in the waiting room, etc. I felt totally unprepared, not to mention dysregulated by suddenly being somewhere I didn't expect to be. I remain dtsregulated even now that I'm home. I didn't have a full meltdown, but my autism coach is good at keeping me regulated, and it's the most dysregulated I've been with him around in years.

[us-being-us2]

I find it really dysregulating if my aides arrive early/late, even by 1 minute, and even more so if they leave early or late when I budgeting my spoons, needs, and social battery around their scheduled time. But my weekend aide consistently leaves 8-15 minutes early, and it stresses me out and uses tons of spoons with me trying not to have a meltdown about it. Neither of my aides speak much English, and 8ve never had an aide who understands autism, and I don't know how to explain that this is extremely dysregulating when that isn't "normal".

[us-being-us2]

I'm nonbinary, ftx, but I identified for a little while as a trans man, and I really feel this.

Everyone who got annoyed at me over the cis woman who couldn't understand a man knowing what experiencing misogyny is like post is proving my point btw.

Everyone who had something to say about "do you want to be seen as a man or not" is proving my exact point that people cannot fully accept the notion of men who are not welcomed into the boys club of cis manhood. The notion of "Man" is entwined inextricably with Power, Control, if I am a man that must mean I wear The Boot because Man means Wearing The Boot. You want me to chose between my sense of self and my lived experiences because to you, a "real man" would not have had my experiences.

You people are incapable of understanding gender as an internal sense of self and not as a magic spell. You fail to progress your feminism past a no boys allowed sign hung on the door of a playhouse. You are deeply fucking unserious and it's frankly embarrassing.

There's a serious problem in progressive spaces wrt seeing people as entire people with flexible experiences and not just identities listed like Pokémon types. Be better.

[us-being-us2]

It’s almost like severely shaming people who struggle with self hygiene because of mental illness or sensory issues isn’t going to make it easier for them to do those things. Fuckssake.

[us-being-us2]

I can't believe this is even a debate but even if someone's disability is genuinely fully caused by their own actions they still deserve accommodation and community

Yes this applies to substance use yes this applies to reckless behaviour yes it applies to purposefully injuring yourself.

If someone disables or injures themselves on purpose to such a large degree then they need aid regardless of how you feel about their actions

[us-being-us2]

I have hEDS. I also have a number of other disabling conditions, deformities, and chronic illnesses, as well as trauma-based mental illnesses, level 2 autism, a communication disorder, and ADHD. And while yes, others of my disorders may impact me more than my hEDS, my hEDS is not glamorous. It's a little hard to judge what's impacting me in which way, like am I a full-time wheelchair user because of hEDS, intractable chronic pain, severe scoliosis and kyphoscoliosis affecting lung capacity, fainting upon standing from dysautonnomia, foot drop, or some other part of my disabilities. They kind of all play into each other. Am I unable to have the spine, stomach, and reproductive surgeries I need because of my A1C from diabetes, my constant vomiting from gastroparesis which makes my insulin dosing a guessing game, not being medically stable enough to lower my BMI (though I lost 60 pounds by accident in the last year), etc. Anyway, I'm just saying that while my disabilities all tie together, and I can't blame any 1 part of my condition solely on hEDS, hEDS certainly hasn't been glamorous or fun and often brings friends. And I also have no problem with people glamming up their mobility aides if they're able to. Anything to bring a bit of joy to the struggle known as life. I would rather fight for more access to be able to do whatever brings people little glimmers for people with severe disability than discount a group of disabled people, even if they have lower support needs, for doing what they can to make a struggle more bearable/enjoyable.

You'll see a post about how being disabled is hard and you don't get any aesthetic disability aids, and you'll think "Oh yeah, it sucks, people stare more and get uncomfy because your problems haven't been bedazzled to their liking"

But then the very first tag will be some shit like "fucking hate people with hEDS over this"

And suddenly, you aren't relating or sympathizing anymore, because this is the third time this week that someone in the cripple punk tag has blamed your diagnosis for ableism, without seeming to care that saying people with EDS are less inconvenienced because they have "the pretty disorders" is really fucking ableist.

And then you start to wonder if cripple punks actually think physically disabled people are a community, or if they think they should be able to handpick who qualifies as being disabled enough.

[us-being-us2]

Digital Security and Executive Functioning

Ideally, I would have better digital security, but spending one afternoon trying to improve it left me drained and on chat with tech support to regain access to my phone (facepalm). I use my phone and computer for basic life things- to remember to eat, drink, sleep, and take meds, to the degree that I can, to remember to feed the cat, let the aide in, wake up and not sleep all day, go places when I must, etc. I do my medical appointments and mental health treatments on my devices. I track my symptoms on my devices. I do my pacing on my devices. I order my groceries, household items, and pet supplies on my devices. Most of my socialization happens on my devices. And most days, I struggle immensely with the number of steps needed to access these things on a barely-secured device with all my apps on the desktop/homescreen. I type the name of who I want to talk to in as my password. If I manage to type my password, I cannot figure out what program to launch to access what I need and often type the food I want to buy or the person I want to talk to in the search bar, instead of the program I need. Very, very often, I cannot access what I need until hours later or the next day because I just don't have the executive functioning. And remembering multiple passwords without storing them in my computer and having them auto-fill-in? Forget it! Same with payment methods. So adding just 1 more layer, like 2 factor authentication, a sim card password, or device encryption, completely eliminates my access to the device or program. And that's really frustrating. Open for tips for low-spoons, low-executive functioning security hacks. I want to feel safe doing ac tivis m-y things from my devices.