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writingducks · 2 years ago

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I Like Your Body Because It's Yours

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Roach is incredibly nervous when he finds himself in Soap's room.

Trans Roach, Coming Out, Multiple Orgasms

Roach stumbled as he was pressed backwards. He tripped, blushing furiously and finding himself caught between the wall and a second wall, the latter of the two being one of muscle. He could feel Soap filling out in his pants. Heat flooded his body, along with anxiety as he hoped he didn’t notice the emptiness in his own.

They’d been in the gym when Soap suggested sparring. Sparring which quickly turned less-than-tactical, and before he’d realized it, he was on top of Soap and crashing their lips together. Which culminated in Soap dragging him to his room and locking the door behind him. He'd all but slammed Roach into the wall the second he did. Roach groaned softly as Soap captured his mouth again.

But the desire in his chest was being clouded over by his fears. Fears that were quickly rising as Soap's hands left his hips to tug at the waistband of his trainers. They began to dig under and Roach panicked. He tore his lips from Soap's, turning his face away.

Soap pulled back, confusion written over his face when Roach glanced back at him. "Roach? Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just-" Roach's heart thundered in his chest. Just what? Not everything was okay.

"Do you want to stop?"

"No! No. I-" He didn't want to stop. He wanted Soap so bad it hurt. But… What if Soap didn't want him? What if, when he found out, it changed the way he saw him? "I want to," Roach managed to force out. "I just… don't know if you do."

"Of course I do. Why would you think I wouldn't?" Soap brushed his thumb over Roach’s cheek.

"I'm… I'm not exactly the kind of man you think I am."

Soap blinked. "Gary," he said softly, "I know what kind of man you are. You’re brave and loyal and-”

“That’s not what I meant,” Roach interrupted. “I’m not… like you.” He wanted to run. He wanted to hide away until Soap forgot any of this happened. He tried to look away, but Soap just guided his face back to meet his eye.

“Not like me? What do you mean?” Roach could see the concern in his eyes. It was almost overwhelming. God, why was he so scared? He knew Soap. Soap was cool! He wouldn’t-

But there was always that fear in the back of his mind. That fear that he would misjugde someone. Because if he was wrong, if he came out to the wrong person…

But Soap wasn’t the wrong person! He couldn’t be! Roach swallowed his anxieties. “May I?” he asked, pulling Soap’s hand from his face and placing it over his stomach. Soap’s eyebrows knit in confusion, but he nodded. Roach took a deep breath and slowly guided Soap’s hand down his abdomen and into his pants. Under his boxers.

He kept his eyes on Soap’s face as he did, watching the crease between his brows deepen as his fingers met coarse hair. And nothing else. His lips parted for a moment before his eyes widened as he realized what Roach had been talking about. His hand dipped lower, stopping with one of his fingers just barely resting against Roach’s clit. "Oh."

"Yeah," Roach said, "oh." He didn't move. He wasn't sure he could if he wanted to. His breathing felt fast and shallow; his heart was pounding so hard it was liable to crack a rib. He thought he might throw up.

Soap didn't move either. His eyes roved over Roach's face, searching for something. Roach couldn't tell what. It made him want to die. He wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. He stared back at Soap, probably shaking like a leaf. He wasn’t sure if he should brace himself for heartbreak or for something worse.

When Soap finally moved, he was ready for either. He hadn't prepared, however, for Soap to pull him closer. His hand was still buried in Roach's pants, finger pressing against his clit rather than just brushing it. "Gary," he said softly. "Did you think this-" his finger twitched, pulling a strained noise from Roach- "was gonna scare me away?" Heat rushed up Roach's spine. He nodded, looking away in embarrassment. Soap's free hand found his face, turning it gently so he had no choice but to meet his gaze. "Well it doesn't." Roach let out a stifled sob. Why had he been so scared? This was Soap! How had he had so little faith in Soap? "It's a surprise, sure, but not an unwelcome one. Besides," his finger twitched again, harder this time. Roach pitched forward, his face falling into Soap's shoulder. Soap turned his head to whisper in Roach's ear. "I've got experience with this kind of body, too." His finger crooked, pressing hard into Roach's clit and making Roach realize that all of his motions had been very, very voluntary.

“Soap,” Roach said, his voice coming out high and needy.

“Tell me what you need,” Soap whispered back, his accent thick and sending a shudder through Roach’s body.

“Need-” Roach repeated, interrupting himself with a quiet moan when Soap’s finger teased him again. Soap hummed in his ear, audibly pleased with himself. “Please,” Roach whined as Soap’s finger continued its mistrations.

“Please what?”

“Please- John- Need you.” Soap chuckled, his free hand sliding down from Roach’s face to tangle in the hem of his shirt. He dragged the fabric upwards as his other hand stopped teasing to press harshly into Roach’s clit. Roach’s hips bucked involuntarily, pulling another strained moan from his throat.

“Desperate, are we?” Soap asked, his hand slipping fully under the other man’s shirt. He groped at Roach’s torso, nails catching his skin ever so slightly. “Want me to take you right here against the wall?”

“Take me,” Roach managed, “please.” His hands were planted on Soap’s shoulders, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt. He felt as Soap’s finger slid away from his clit and towards his hole.

“Show me how badly you want it.” Soap plunged two fingers inside Roach’s cunt. “Ride my fingers, Gary.” Roach groaned, knees buckling as Soap punctuated his demand with a sharp thrust of his fingers. He wrapped his arms around Soap’s neck, dropping his forehead into his shoulder as he began to drag his hips back and forth. The movement paired with the closeness of their bodies meant he was basically forced to grind against Soap’s cock, still trapped in his pants. He could hear the groans Soap was stiflingly every time Roach brought his hips forward.

Soap’s other hand took hold of Roach’s shirt again, tugging it until it was bunched under his armpits. He didn’t seem to mind that he couldn’t remove it fully as he leaned down to lick over the other man’s skin. Roach moaned at the heat of his mouth, his hips faltering slightly as he struggled to keep his pace. Soap noticed - because of course he did - and took pity on him. His mouth nipped at Roach’s skin as his fingers curled inside of him. He ran his tongue over one of the twin scars that decorated his chest. Roach’s hips jumped again, pulling another strained sound from his throat. Soap’s fingers retreated slightly before stabbing harshly back into him. His free hand caught him as Roach’s knees threatened to give, pressing his hips into the wall and holding them there. His occupied hand moved faster, his thumb moving to tease at his clit again. Roach couldn’t stop the whine he let out if he’d tried.

“Fuck,” Soap said, low and breathy, and slammed his mouth into Roach’s. Roach moaned into his mouth, giving Soap the chance to shove his tongue behind his teeth. Soap’s hand was warm against his cunt, but his mouth was hot. His tongue pressed against Roach’s in a slow slide, sending more heat pooling in his gut. Soap’s thumb danced in tight circles. Roach could feel himself being worked closer and closer to the edge, a fact that Soap could likely tell based on the breathless gasps Roach was releasing into his mouth.

“Soap- Soap- Soap-” he chanted, unable to say much else.

“C’mon, Roach,” Soap whispered, pulling back. “I’ve got you, c’mon.” His fingers moved impossibly faster; the sounds they made as they plunged in and out of Roach told Soap exactly how much he was enjoying it.

“John,” Roach’s voice was fully wrecked, “please. Pleasepleaseplease- John!” He cried, drawing out Soap’s name as his pleasure came crashing down on him. He collapsed into Soap, panting into his shoulder, mind too hazy to complain as the man’s fingers withdrew. He felt arms wrap around him, lifting his limp body into the air with ease.

“Fuck, Roach,” Soap whispered as Roach lazily wrapped his legs around him. He could feel Soap’s arousal pressed against him and couldn’t stop himself from grinding down into him. The move drew groans from both of them.

Soap crashed their mouths together as he moved, carrying Roach away from the wall and towards his bed. He laughed at the sound Roach made when he dropped him on the mattress, and crawled between his legs, caging him with his body as he leaned down to kiss him again. His mouth traveled from Roach’s lips to his jaw to his neck. Roach moaned as he bit down over his pulse point.

Soap’s hands dug under his shirt again, nails scratching lightly his ribs. He sat up, rutting his clothed cock against Roach as he did. He dragged Roach’s shirt up; Roach didn’t need any prompting to raise his arms so Soap could pull the fabric over his head. Once he’d freed Roach from the confines of his shirt, he sat back and stared down at him. His eyes roved over his skin, taking in scrapes and scars and bruises. Roach watched them follow the arc of the scars under his pecs. “Steamin’ Jesus, Gary, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, hands roving reverently over Roach’s skin.

Roach blushed and turned his face, embarrassed. He wasn’t ashamed of himself, he just didn’t know how to handle the attention. He’d always kept his shirt on around the others. They hadn’t seen his scars; he didn’t know what to expect. He wasn’t scared of them; he was just scared. But Soap-

Soap pulled his face back towards himself. “You okay?” Roach nodded, biting his lip. “You wanna stop?”

“No! No,” Roach answered, sitting up. “No, I’m okay. Just overwhelmed for a moment, is all.” Soap looked unconvinced, but Roach didn’t want to give him a chance to argue. “‘Sides,” he said, bringing his face closer to Soap’s, “looks like you still need some help.” He slipped a hand between them to palm at the man’s cock. Soap hissed at the pressure, pulling a wicked grin to Roach’s face.

Soap glared playfully as he pulled Roach’s hand away and pinned it to the mattress. “Not so fast there, Gare. It’s still your turn.”

“But-” Roach started, cut off by Soap licking his way down his torso. He shuddered, free hand finding Soap’s hair as he moved lower and lower until he was kissing at the skin above Roach’s waistband. Soap wasted no time in yanking his pants down to his knees and mouthing at the wet patch he’d left in his boxers. Roach would’ve blushed if he wasn't too busy moaning. Soap teased him through the fabric until Roach was writhing underneath him. “Soap…” he whined.

“Need more, sweet boy?”

“Please, John, please,” Roach forced out between his pants.

Soap hummed into him, making Roach’s hips jump. “Alright,” he said. “But only since you asked so nicely.” He didn’t give Roach a chance to respond before his boxers were joining his pants, and Soap’s face was buried in his bare cunt. Roach’s newly freed hand tangled itself in the sheets as the other tightened its grip on Soap’s hair. Soap’s tongue dragged up from his cunt to his clit and back down. He repeated the motion a few times, drinking in the way Roach would groan and grind down into him. Tiny pleas and whines were slipping from his lips, which only spurred Soap on. His lips wrapped around Roach’s clit. He laved over it with his tongue, sending sparks up Roach’s spine. His back arched violently when Soap began gently sucking at the sensitive bud. The hand in Soap’s hair fumbled. He was still sensitive from his earlier orgasm; he couldn’t figure out if he wanted to push Soap away or hold him closer. He threw his head back into the pillows, letting out a breathy moan as he did.

When he picked his head back up, he found Soap’s eats staring up at him. The sight made him moan louder. “John-” he panted.

“Fuck, Gare, you taste so good,” Soap said, voice heavy. “Shoulda made you ride my face.” Roach tugged at his hair, whining again, to which Soap smiled and dropped his face back into Roach’s crotch.

He lapped at Roach’s clit a few more times before returning his attention to his hole. He swirled his tongue around it before thrusting it in. Stars burst in Roach’s vision as heat flooded his senses. He tried to grind into Soap again, but Soap reached up and pinned his hips. He laughed as Roach whimpered and tried again, kissing his thigh.

He worked his tongue in and out of Roach, his nose teasing at his clit as he did. Roach could feel his pleasure mounting again. His legs wrapped around Soap; thigh squeezing around his ears. Soap hummed happily, swirling his tongue as he did. Roach’s core tightened; his hips fought against Soap’s grip as his legs shook. His body thrashed as Soap tongue-fucked him until the tension in his gut snapped and he came on Soap’s face. He cried out before collapsing bonelessly against the mattress.

Soap sat back on his heels, grinning down at Roach. His eyes were hazy, and Roach could see him straining his pants. Even as fuzzy as his mind felt, he still wanted to make sure Soap was taken care of, too. “John,” he breathed, “you- you’re-” Soap chuckled and leaned back down, kissing up Roach’s body until he reached his mouth. Roach groaned at the taste of himself on his lips. “You’re still,” he tried again between Soap’s kisses.

“I’m still?” Soap asked, clearly amused by Roach’s struggle. Roach ground his hips up in lieu of answering, but Soap got the message if the groan he let out was anything to go by. He glared down at Roach after he saw the grin splitting his face. “Shuddup,” he muttered, shoving Roach’s face to the side playfully.

“Need a hand?” Roach asked as the fog in his head dissipated slightly.

“You offering one?”

“More than just a hand if you want it.” Soap raised his eyebrows, the haze in his eyes thickening slightly. Roach didn’t speak again, just pulled his thighs further apart. Soap’s eyes trailed down his body as he blushed. His look was heavy with lust, and tired as he was, Roach felt another wave of desire burning through him. He nodded when Soap met his eyes again, silently asking for confirmation.

Soap nearly fell off the bed trying to get out of his pants. Roach couldn’t help his laughter as Soap straightened, kneeling between Roach’s legs, his erection straining in his boxers. He must’ve seen the hunger in Roach’s eyes because he made a show of slowly stripping himself. First came his shirt, which he dragged over his head at a snail’s pace. Roach drank in every inch of skin as it was revealed. He ached to put his mouth on it, to trace his scars with his tongue and mark his skin with his teeth. His heated thoughts were interrupted by warm fabric hitting him in the face. Soap laughed as Roach’s hands flew to pull the offending garment from his face. Roach was ready to pout at him when he finally freed his eyes, but the intention died as he took in the scene above him.

In the short time that Roach had been blinded, Soap had shoved his boxers to his knees. Roach knew that it was rude to stare, but he didn’t think Soap would mind in this instance. He knew most of the team had seen each other naked in the showers before, but Roach had always avoided showering with the others. So he’d never seen all of Soap before. And damn if he couldn’t pull his gaze away from the space between his legs. Soap’s newly freed cock bobbed slightly as he shifted to fully relieve himself of his boxers. Roach wasn’t a virgin by any means, but in that moment he was certain he had never truly desired someone before Soap. If he wasn’t so desperate to be railed into oblivion, he’d be begging Soap to fuck his throat.

Soap’s hand drifted to give himself a few lazy strokes. Roach’s eyes tracked the movement. He wanted that to be his hand; he wanted Soap to take anything and everything he wanted. Soap brought his other hand to his mouth, a small foil square held between his fingers. He tore it open with his teeth, rolling the condom on in one smooth move. He shifted forward, dragging Roach towards him with hands under his knees. He leaned over Roach, pressing their lips together and his cock between their stomachs. He groaned into Roach’s mouth, grinding against him.

“Soap- if you don’t-” Roach said between Soap’s kisses, “get- inside- me-”

Soap chuckled and pulled back. “Impatient,” he chided as he lined himself up. He breached Roach slowly, his head thrown back in a groan as he did. Roach’s back arched off the bed, his hands scrambling for purchase in the sheets as Soap bottomed out. He was still for a moment, both of them panting slightly. It had been a little while since Roach had slept with someone; he closed his eyes, needing a moment to adjust the feeling of himself stretched around Soap.

A sweaty forehead pressed against his own, and he opened his eyes to see the blue of Soap’s staring at him. “You okay?” he whispered.

Roach nodded. “You can move. When you're ready.” It was Soap’s turn to nod, pressing his face closer to Roach’s and drawing back to thrust in experimentally. Roach moaned at the feeling, his eyes rolling back as he did. He felt lips pressing kisses to his face. He laughed breathlessly and puckered his own. Soap understood and kissed Roach properly. Roach moaned into his mouth as Soap’s hips sped up. Every thrust spent sparks dancing up his spine, lighting his every nerve on fire. His hands untangled themselves from sheets, instead finding Soap’s legs. He held onto the other man with a bruising grip; his nails digging crescents into his thighs. Soap hissed as he did, nipping at Roach’s lips. He pulled the bottom between his teeth, making Roach gasp.

His hips jumped, colliding with Soap’s as he thrusted. Heat was pooling in Roach’s gut, but he’d already came twice. He was sensitive, even more sensitive than before. Every meeting of their hips punched tiny squeaks from Roach’s throat. His entire abdomen felt like it was on fire. White hot pleasure seared through his veins and clouded his mind. The feeling was laced with discomfort, but it only seemed to amplify the rest. His entire body was buzzing. The heat in his core was scalding, and Soap’s moans only added to the sensation.

“John- John- John-” he chanted, unable to say much else. His limbs were limp; his body felt heavy. Still, he lifted his arms from Soap legs to his back. He dug his nails in again, dragging them down Soap’s skin as he felt himself hurtling once more towards his climax. Soap groaned, pulling his mouth away from Roach’s and laughing softly when Roach tried to chase his lips.

“Gary- Fuck- You’re so- So hot-” he said between thrusts. “Look at you- Fuck-” Soap’s hands returned to his chest; his fingers traced over the twin scars under his pecs again before his thumb brushed over one of his nipples. Roach gasped, digging his nails deeper in Soap’s flesh. The move only made Soap roll his nipple between his fingers again.

“John!” Roach shouted, “John- John- I’m gonna- I can’t-”

“Go on, Gary. C’mon. Cum on my cock.” Soap’s thrusts were growing sporadic. His chest heaved as his hands slid down to Roach’s hips. Or at least, one did. The other continued past his hip to grind against his clit again.

Roach choked on the feeling. “God- Fuck- John! Too much! Too much! I can’t-”

“I know- Fuck- I know. God, Gary. Wanna feel you cum on my cock.” He rubbed little circles into Roach’s clit, making him gasp and whine until he couldn’t speak at all anymore. He babbled, incoherent even to his own ears. He felt Soap twitch inside of him, and with one last grind against his clit, Roach came for a third time.

It was Soap’s turn to choke on a feeling. Roach felt him twitch again. “Gary- Oh fuck- Gary- Gary!” Soap cried. His hips pressed flush against Roach’s as he came. His hands pressed bruises into Roach’s hips. Soap’s mouth was hung open, his head flung back. It was the most beautiful sight Roach had even seen.

Soap collapsed onto Roach when he came down from his high. He panted into Roach’s neck, his breath tickling his skin. Roach let him lay on top of him for a few minutes before he wriggled underneath him. Soap ignored his protestations to mouth at his throat. Roach moaned slightly. “John,” he whined, “You’re heavy.”

“Just a minute,” Soap said into his skin, “I wanna savor you.”

“Savor me in a minute,” Roach said, pushing at him lightly. Soap hummed and continued to pepper kisses across his neck. “Gotta clean up,” Roach complained.

“Fine, fine,” Soap whispered, nipping at his skin before pushing himself up. He gripped Roach’s hips again, much more lightly this time, and slowly drew himself out of the man underneath him. Roach’s eyes fluttered as he did. He watched as Soap slid the condom off and tried not to imagine what it would’ve felt like if he hadn’t been wearing it. He pushed himself to his elbows, eyes roving over Soap as he tried not to stare at his softening cock. He failed.

“My eyes are up here, Gare.” Roach blushed, embarrassed. Soap held a hand out, “C’mon, clean up time, yeah?”

“No, that’s your job,” Roach said, collapsing again.

“Nuh uh,” Soap chided, striding over to the bed. He grabbed Roach by the arm to haul him up. Roach stayed limp, laughing slightly as Soap pulled him up. “Up you go, c’mon.”

“No.”

“Fine,” Soap dropped his arm before immediately scooping Roach up into his arms. Roach yelped in surprise, throwing his arms around Soap’s neck.

“Soap!” he cried as he was carried towards the bathroom.

“Gotta clean you up. You said so yourself.”

“Put me down!”

Soap laughed and set Roach on slightly wobbly legs. “Take a leak, love,” he said.

“Such a way with words,” Roach said, closing the door between them.

After they were both done, Soap dragged Roach back into his bed. Roach sighed and burrowed himself into his side. They were silent for a while, just breathing each other’s air. Soap hummed softly, his fingers tracing idle patterns on Roach’s back. Roach kissed his pec.

“Thank you,” he said softly. He heard Soap turn his head to look down at him. He kept his face turned down.

“‘Thank you’?” Soap echoed. “For what?”

Roach felt his face heat. “For not, you know, freaking out. About me- about my body.”

“Gary,” Soap said softly. He sat up, forcing Roach up with him. “You don’t need to thank me.”

“But-”

“Gary,” he said, turning Roach’s face to his own. “I like you for you. And while I can’t speak for the others, I’d be willing to bet a whole year’s worth of babysitting duty that they do, too. Whatever body you have wasn’t going to change that.”

“It’s just-”

“Scary? I can imagine.”

“Just, let me be appreciative, okay?”

Soap sighed. “Okay.”

Roach smiled and leaned in, kissing him softly. “Thank you.” Soap pulled them back down to the mattress.

#writing #fanfic #gary roach sanderson #john soap mactavish #soaproach #roachsoap #call of duty #cod mw2 #cod mwii #nobody look at me

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