ahyesanerd

[ahyesanerd]

titans trauma candy salad

- hi, I’m Arsenal, and I am an ex drug addict, and I brought Reese’s

- hi, I’m cyborg and in a accident I lost most part of my body, and got reconstituted as this, I rather been dead, and I brought m&m’s

- hi I’m Troia, and I died and when I returned I tried to kill all my friends! I brought goldbears

-hey guys! I’m beast boy and both of my parents died! And I brought-

- gar everybody here is an orphan you can’t just say that - Raven said

- ok ok guys, I’m beast boy and I use my jokes to hide my depression, and I brought nerds!

- hi I’m nightwing and I was S.A twice and both times people acted like it wasn’t s.a…

From behind the camera:

Donna Troy intervenes

- we’re so sorry we acted like that with mirage.. -

- anyways, I brought cookies!

- hi I’m Starfire, I was sold as a slave by my own family! I brought mustard flavor skittles

Behind the camera:

Wally said:

- Why this flavor even exists?

Victor:

- Kory I love you, you like a sister to me, however you will not put that disgusting candy in our bowl

- I’m Raven, and my dad is a demon, I brought sour patch kids

- yeah I think it pretty summarize your trauma- Roy said

- Hi I’m tempest! And everybody forgets I’m in the team! I brought Swedish fish!

- Hi, I’m flash! And I was a mid-western conservative!

Dick said laughing - fuck off wally

- it was a trauma ok? I brought jelly beans!

The camera cuts off

[ahyesanerd]

i may have started something by accident

[ahyesanerd]

Wait let’s have an au where reverse robins meet normal order robins. Like dimension hopping or smth.

And it’s the reverse robins that have the hardened Bruce Wayne. Because this Bruce didn’t start with eight year old Dick Grayson who he identified with so much, who he saw so much of himself in. He didn’t have the child acrobat who kept him on his toes, who taught him to see the light in the darkness, who made him laugh with corny puns and silly jokes, who ran around Gotham in bright colors with an even brighter smile.

This Bruce’s first child was a thirteen year old Damian who’d been raised by the League of Assassins. The two of them had their own darkness, and no one to shed any light on the situation. There was no mediator, no buffer. Alfred tried, he really did, but neither Wayne really listened to him about the other, the two of them so caught up in their own conceptions of each other.

Then a few years later, the neighbor boy stops by and tells Bruce Wayne that he knows he’s Batman. He insists on joining him, on helping him. But thirteen year old Tim Drake still has parents who are alive and well at this point. Bruce allows him to join in on training, but he and Damian are ruthless with Tim. He’s not allowed out with them until he can pass their tests. And he does by the time he’s 14, but now he’s bitter and jaded about how harsh they were. He ends up going off on his own when he’s 17, and then Bruce quickly acquires one 14 year old Jason Todd.

Bruce lets Jason out much sooner than he had Tim, because he realize she was sort of lonely now without Tim. Damian is based in Blüdhaven at this point, he’s not around too often.

Then a year and a half later, Jason gets killed by the Joker and it sends Bruce into a spiral.

Jason eventually returns as the Red Hood, and he has a vendetta against the Batfamily until he clams down. He’s 18 when that happens.

And then Damian Wayne is the one who attends the circus when it’s in town. Damian is the one who takes Dick in, who sees a shadow of what his own father might have been like when his parents died. And he doesn’t want this bright little boy to turn out like his father did. He doesn’t want anyone turning into Batman.

So Dick and Damian become the dynamic duo. Damian doesn’t let Dick out into Gotham until he’s had two years of training, when he’s 10 years old. Dick had figured out pretty much right away that the Waynes were all the bats. Damian was actually so insanely proud that this boy he now calls his son was so quick to figure them all out.

But Bruce is jaded at this point. His kids hardly talk to him, to each other. He does love having a grandson, but he has no idea how to show it, how to interact with Dick out of costume. Batman interacts with Robin sometimes, but Robin sticks mainly to Blüdhaven with Flamebird.

Bruce is the kind of grandpa who pats Dick awkwardly on the shoulder when he sees him, asks him how school is (and says the wrong grade when he asks), and then gives Dick a hundred bucks and tells him it’s been nice catching up.

“Does Grandpa not like me?” Dick asks Damian one day when they’re driving home from the manor.

“I think you’re actually his favorite,” Damian tells him, a bit of a laugh in his voice. “He just is very bad with emotions, Richard.”

“Him and the rest of this weirdo family,” Dick snorts, and Damian laughs with him. “He still thinks I’m in fourth grade.”

“Well, grandfathers arent known for having the best memories.”

Dick grins at Damian. Grandpa Bruce isn’t the best, but he does try.

And so when they meet the normal version of the Batfamily? Where Dick is the oldest and Bruce is actually a decent dad? It’s such a mindfuck.

“Told you the pipsqueak was his favorite,” reverse-Jason snorts to the others. “Look at them, they’re practically a normal family!”

“You call this normal?” Normal-Jason asks.

Meanwhile, reverse-Bruce just keeps a hand firmly on the top of reverse-Dick’s head as he stares at this mirrored version of his family. Because now he can’t help but wonder how much better off his family would’ve been if Dick had just come into his life a decade or so earlier.

[ahyesanerd]

This has now brought to my attention that Baby Michael and Baby David Murray could definitely have been friends and hung out!!!!! OH TO THE FIC BOARD OF ANGST

Apologies if this was already asked; but in your WilliamwasFramed!AU, is David Murray also David Afton? Or are they two separate kids?

(If they are two separate kids, did William intentionally name one of his kids after Murray's?)

Two separate kids! David Murray died shortly before David Afton was born. On the naming thing, it’s actually one of the big reasons Mrs. Afton left—she was upset over William wanting to name their son after David Murray—even if Will swore up and down it was because his own middle name was David.

[ahyesanerd]

Everyone was doing their Dick aus being de-aged... I want too-

The spell probably wasn't intended for Nightwing... It was a spell meant to leave the recipient vulnerable, probably... But he hit Nightwing, and things got... complicated from there.

Zatanna can't risk guessing the spell, she can only guarantee that it's temporary, so... They have to wait.

Dick, now almost twenty years younger, sits in the cave on a nursing gurney, hugging a stuffed elephant to his body as if his life depended on it.

Alfred, the first person he saw, told him the whole situation... And he accepted it.

And, now, his brothers are looking at him as directly as he looks at them.

Damian is... As impressed as he is scared.

Dick, his older brother, a father figure... His Batman, sits in front of him now as a boy almost half his age.

If Dick were a year younger, and Damian just a few months older... He'd be half his age.

But Dick was in his Robin uniform, just as Damian himself was. Dick, being almost half his age, had already gone out onto the streets to patrol, to fight.

He knew Dick was admirable, someone worthy of the adoration the hero community bestowed upon him... And maybe less than three years ago he wouldn't see anything strange... bad, in this form of his...

But now he saw it.

Tim, who always looked at Dick with a mixture of admiration and respect, now saw him like that... But also with an underlying desperation that had joined his gaze.

He had always been smaller than Dick, being younger by a few years. When he met him, Tim was just a toddler, so there was no way he didn't see Dick as someone big... When he himself was Robin, Dick was already an adult, he was still big.

But now, seeing Dick barely older than the first time he saw him..., and he being a young adult himself...

God, Dick was small.

Jason was disturbed.

He had been small when he was Robin in the beginning, he knew that... He barely reached Bruce's chest back then.

But, Dick? Seeing him in his Robin costume, for the first time ever... When he, Jason, was almost as tall as Bruce...

Richard Grayson was so tiny in comparison.

Dick couldn't reach him above the waist, he was smaller than most children of eight, almost nine years old, and he had seen little children on the streets.

And so, so small, tiny... And he was already a vigilante.

Jason feels sick.

Bruce thinks he might throw up.

Had Dick been so small back then? Wasn't that a side effect of the spell?

How had this little kid defeated guys the size of Bruce? How did he manage to fly through the air back then, so big for the Earth, even though he was so small?

He approaches the stretcher to see his first child, and the child smiles as soon as he sees him. He is missing one of his front teeth, having lost it shortly before.

He was a baby.

So capable... So terrifyingly capable.

So small. So young.

But so strong.

God, how could he have let this kid go back then? He knew his capabilities; he wasn't so foolish as to underestimate him because of his size and youth...

But how did his heart bear it?

Bruce doesn't know.

[ahyesanerd]

do you ever think Dick has to listen to Jason angrily rant about how fucked up it is that the second he left Bruce took in another kid and gave them his mantle of Robin and just kinda. sighs real loud.

Jason: why are you looking at me like that?

Dick: no reason, Robin the second.

Jason:

Jason: i don’t like the words you’re speaking there, Dickie.

[ahyesanerd]

I genuinely love how in batfam fanfics….

Dick is like: little D (Damian), Timmy Tim, little wing (Jason) I’m on my way my baby bros!!!

And then in canon….

Dick: *perpetually perturbed by his codependent siblings but knows he’ll never not answer cause who else is gonna pull their dumbassses out the gutter*

[ahyesanerd]

Bruce truly hates magic with every pump and beat of his heart.

What kinda curse is Slang, anyway?

“This is the best day of my life.”

“Bro really thought he ate with that.” Bruce physically feels a full body shiver, charged with nausea and cringe. “This is level 10 cringe. Can’t have shit in Gotham.”

Dick is his earth bound angel, but he laughs like a demon at him, holding onto Jason for support, pledging his eternal loyalty to Zatana and her pettiness.

—

“Hey, old bat, hook me up with an adrenaline shot.”

What he wants to say is Jay, do not try and fight with 6 bullets in your stomach.

What comes out instead, through Bruce’s grit teeth and intense, fierce glaring, “Not you trying to go back to your corpse era. See how I only took 2 shots? Very demure. Very mindful.”

Jason passes out from blood loss, but mostly laughter.

—

“Chat, is this real?”

Stephanie barely bites back a full belly cackle. “I think he just asked us if we copied.”

“I wish I was Jason, 15.”

—

“This is not a slay environment. Killing is flop behavior.” He keeps his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. Trying to convince Damian not to stab someone doesn’t seem to work.

Damian gives him a pat like he’s a pitiful cat. “I’ll only stab the non lethal areas.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

[ahyesanerd]

The Fab 5 on Halloween:

Roy, Wally and Garth are disguised as their respective mentors (they lost a bet with Robin).

Then, Donna and Dick appear, wearing their own hero costumes, albeit of lower quality so they are not identical to the originals.

Roy: Are you kidding? Are you going to go just like yourselves?

Wally: I expected more, actually.

Garth: I'd say it's smart, but...

Donna:

Dick:

"Donna" takes off a wig, smiling.

"Dick", does the same.

The other three have their mouths open to the floor as the twins laugh at their grimaces, because yes, Dick is dressed as Donna and Donna is dressed as Dick, and they didn't even notice.

[ahyesanerd]

Ok, but a canon-divergent AU where Bruce is a terrible father figure to Dick, but he doesn't know it.

Of course, in canon Bruce is far from being a perfect father (even a good one in many cases), but at least he cares about Dick, even if he has a peculiar way of showing it (I'm talking to you, Bruce, who decides if saving the world is worth it only if Dick will be okay).

But imagine an AU where everything happened the same, or almost, except that neither Alfred nor Bruce cared to show, not even kindness, but that much empathy for Dick. However, in this AU Dick's father was not very affectionate either, so Dick does not associate male figures as affectionate.

It's not until Dick is with his team that he learns... That's not normal.

Dick: So... You guys didn't train until you pass out? Weren't you taught that the only way to get better is to push your own limits?

Roy: *wanting to kill Bruce* No, Dick. The first thing they teach you is how to stay safe, you know, avoid getting to the point where you pass out from the effort.

Dick: Oh.

Donna: Dick, you should rest, you're hurt. You literally have a broken ankle.

Dick, who is at the gym, doing arm exercises and twists that are not at all safe for an injured person: I'm fine, Donna. I'm just warming up. I've been on patrol in worse conditions.

Donna: Wdym by that? Worse???

Dick: Yes...? Villains don't take a break just because you're hurt, you know that.

Donna: That's why there are other heroes to help!

Dick: Don't you guys have a rule about not taking help from anyone? That shows weakness and...

Donna: No, Dick, no.

Dick, confused: Oh.

Wally: Please tell me you're not doing that thing again.

Dick: What thing?

Wally: Not sleeping or eating to be on guard.

Dick: Well, it's my job, so...

Wally: You. Are. A. Human. YOU NEED REST AND FOOD.

Dick: I'm fine, it's not like...

Wally: Don't you dare say that Batman made you stay in those conditions for more days. That's NOT normal, Dick.

Dick: ... It's not?

Dick: So... you guys aren't on guard all the time waiting for your mentors to surprise attack you to test your reflexes?

Roy: I swear to God I gonna kill him.

Donna: I'll help.

Wally: On it.

Dick: *panics*

It's even worse for his friends when they discorver that his siblings are being treated much better, as after he leaves, Bruce and Alfred finally begin to notice how to treat children.

Dick was literally trial and error.

[ahyesanerd]

Abusive John and Mary Grayson

You know what? In light of both the most recent Batman and Robin year 1 Batman and Robin Year 1 chapter and December's Batman: The Long Halloween - The Last Halloween chapter?

There are some versions of canon!John and Mary Grayson where they are actually, absolutely, abusive and exploitive parents. Where his parents had Dick training for 10 hours a day since he was three, where he's been performing full-time since he was 5, where enough people in the circus knew he was being groomed for the Court of Owls. Where his parents (or at least, John) cared more about either the thrill of the crowd/earning more money than he did the safety of his own son.

And, I know I say this every month or so, but circuses were terribly exploitive already of child acrobats, and I always felt that the Court of Owls was in part a parallel to the child trafficking that went on there.

Interestingly, John and Mary are held up as the gold standard of parents by others, in a similar way that Dick is held up as the gold standard as Robin. And yet, so many of those damaging personality traits that Dick has can be so easily traced back to his relationship with his parents.

What I love about Halloween is that it doesn't just talk about Dick's experiences pre-Bruce, but dares suggest that it actually wasn't healthy for Dick. I would even go so far as to say that there is almost an edge of fear in how Dick talks about his father.

I want so much for the darker side of the Graysons to be explored, even if just via fandom. Give me a John Grayson who is a punishing, unrelenting father who doesn't tolerate less than 100% commitment and perfectionism. A Mary who gets isolated from her own friends and loses herself in the fantasy of the Flying Grayson family at the expense of her son. A Dick who is 8 and has just lost everything, and who sees his parents through rose-colored glasses and the circus as a family instead of the exploitive business it was because he is a child. Give me the perfect Grayson family as a deliberately crafted marketing strategy, rather than an actuality. And. Give me other people in Dick's life who think, actually? His childhood was really fucked up.

There's a really interesting line in Halloween where Dick says that Bruce didn't just save his life, he gave him one. Most versions of Bruce in canon strive (at least initially) to give Dick a childhood, and it is Dick who always tries to push for more - who doesn't feel comfortable doing less. Bruce puts more importance on Dick being a child than some versions of Mary and John ever did.

... I might have to give a particular fic that is currently sitting in my 'too hard' basket another go.

[ahyesanerd]

Welcome to I dyed my hair red cause I like the color and it looks nice in my hair... I forgot the 4th is tommorow/today. (it's 1 AM time is dead)

Fuck me -_-

and for the record FUCK THE CHEETO MAN

[ahyesanerd]

You know the reason I’m not the biggest birdflash shipper? Is that? Adult Dick and Wally just? Don’t have any tension? There’s no spark? Nothing that’s makes the relationship move from platonic to Romanic to me.

They’re each others person

HOWEVER COMMA SPAce

KID FLASH WALLY??? AND GRAYBIN??? peak

Roy and Wally being into Dick and Donna teen titans era? And competing over both of them????

👏 peak👏 fiction???

Generally very conservative young Wally? Falling for a man??? Richard John Grayson? Yeah bro would not be very okay with that. (Yeah fun fact for my friends who don’t know very much about our boy Wallace? Yeah? Genuinely pretty conservative until he like unlearns that as an adult)

Which also?? So much fun bc Roy Harper is the leftist of all leftists. Bro was anti the ideology of marriage bc of feminism and also bc he didn’t think he should get married when the institutions that he didn’t recognize queer marriage in the early 2000s. (And he says he’s not Oliver queens boy. Tho I will say with how little time Ollie spent with him fair enough lol)

Roy who knows and throws it in his face

Roy knowing that Wally gets Dick on a level he doesn’t and is still smug bc HE gets Grayson and Wally doesn’t bc Wally won’t make a move?? Ugh

Also Wally and Roy both going up to Dick and Donna and being like “you deserve better than HIM”

“Like who? You??”

Peak??? Fiction chat

The poor poor wondertwins are in a love triangle? Square??? Thing??? Unintentionally they don’t wanna be here Dick has a nightmare where he dates Donna and he cries about it it’s an issue.

I love messy titans so so so much

Like they’d take a bullet for each other but can’t go one conversation without making out, attacking each other or breaking up for a good 2 years and no one can argue with me

The titans all run through each other by the time Dicks in college

Idcidcidc

Also Ik there’s a section of the titans fandom that views them as eternally wholesome family so I’m here to ruin your day and remind you they’re canonically described as incestuous

[ahyesanerd]

A trope I'm obsessed with and wish I'd see more of is Dick seeing ghost!jason all the time. And so when Jason shows up Dick just... Fully believes he's a new vision his brain has concocted to torture him.

Even if it's Jay taking the hood off for a dramatic reveal. (in 'Haven for some reason) Dick's just like: I know RH is in Gotham, and I've seen the way he moves, of *course* my brain is going to torture me like this.

And Jay is just standing there, waiting for the hysterics and Dick just squints like: right. Cool. I'm gonna go shower now.

Jason proceeds to stalk Dick because *what the fuck* and Dick just accepts it as his subconscious.

Dick, totally relaxed as Jason climbs through a safehouse window: Oh hey little wing. You're looking more bloody tonight.

Jason, just killed a man and def didn't clean up on purpose: Dick, what the fuck man. I just shot a guy, and that's all you have to say??

Dick, shrugging: who hasn't done it a time or two?

Jason: what.

Dick: ohhhhh is this like my guilt manifesting over the whole renegade thing? Like i gotta admit my sins to my oblivious brother? Wow. My brain is rude as hell.

Dick: [nonchalant bite of cereal]

Jason: ... I repeat. What.

Dick, gesturing with a spoon: Yeah I worked with Slade for awhile. Then there was the Spyral thing. Oh and the Talon thing.

Jason: ... Dude. Are you okay?

Dick: Ahahahaha... No.

Jason: Alright, fair enough.

He flops down on the couch next to Dick and steals the cereal bowl out of his hands.

Dick.exe has stopped working. Because what the fuck he felt that. A vision just stole his cereal.

Dick: I should call Harley.

Jason, nodding: Yeah she's pretty good.

[ahyesanerd]

I wish people would stop saying “It’s July. Well done for wasting half a year.” Did you make someone smile in the past six months? Did you stroke a cat or throw a stick for a dog? Did you learn a new fact or teach someone a new joke? Did you laugh, cry, scream or sing in the past six months? Because if so, congratulations for not wasting your time at all.

[ahyesanerd]

So- uh.. Batman started journaling days when he adopted Robin because he had no idea how to handle a kid-let alone a murderous one- and was trying to note down important information like what the child likes and doesn’t, what triggers them etc etc.

He also maintains a separate series detailing their interactions with villains and notes on if the child should be allowed near the villain and vice versa along with rules to implement with children and procedures to follow in case of their meeting.

Damian has five volumes written after him, which still continue to this day. Tim’s had fifty, Stephanie’s had twenty, Jason’s had eighty nine. But Dick? Dick has a hundred and twenty, atleast fourth of those written within his first month as robin. Why?

Exhibit 1

Batman: Ivy, listen to me-

Ivy: NO Batman! They’re destroying ecosystems, hunting endangered species, poisoning the rivers and-

Robin!dick *eyes in shock* : Is this true Batman?

Batman: .. yes

Robin!dick: oh..so why aren’t we helping Miss Evie?

Ivy:

Batman:

Batman: uh..because she’s breaking the law

Robin!dick *crossing his arms* : But didn’t you say the system is flawed? And how sometimes matters need to be taken into your own hands?

Batman: Hold on-

Robin!dick: Come to think of it, is what we’re doing legal? You steal police information and beat up thugs. If you’re doing it to save lives, so is she!

Ivy *enjoying watching this stubborn child making batman sweat as he tries to argue and eventually agrees to help Ivy in a better way, giving Dick a flower when he leaves*

Bruce knows that Dick would absolutely not mind sabotaging factories or blowing up shit with a supervillain. All he needs is a good reason.

Exhibit 2

Riddler: Aha! Now.. riddle me this-

Robin!dick: .. Why are you so ugly?

Riddler: ..wha-

Robin!dick: And are you lonely because there are better ways to find friends.

Hours of insulting later

Robin!dick; If you’re so smart, tell me this: What animal roars when threatened, laughs when hungry and burrows underneath for the entire year, very dangerous to humans but a herbivore and tiny?

Riddler:

Riddler: * a few hours later, on his knees after complying with every one of batman’s demands, going hysterical and pulling out his hair while rocking back and forth*

Batman *getting increasingly concerned* Robin tell him

Robin!dick: Nope! *walks away*

Riddler spent fifty days in Arkham. The riddle still haunts him to this day. Dick doesn’t know the answer either.

Exhibit 3

Penguin *appears*

Gremlin Dick who’s been waiting to kick the shit out of someone: GOLLY BATMAN LOOK A PIÑATA!

Batman *running after Dick before he murders Penguin*

This is why none of the villains bat an eye at the bat kids antics anymore. And whatever they do, they thank their lucky stars they’re not as bad as the first one was.

[ahyesanerd]

..the batfam siblings are randomnly getting teleported through time to the original days of batman and robin, but somehow Bruce is nowhere to be seen. This leads to so many more questions, and each of them has begged the villains to just put them out of their misery at some point.

Exhibit 1

Jason *teleports into Wayne Manor*

Jason: what the actual fuck is happening?

Eight year old Dick:

Jason:

Jason: Ah sh- shoot.. Hey there..

Eight year old Dick *lip trembles*

Jason *panicking* : uhhhh hey kid please don’t cry-

*WHAM*

Jason’s knees explode in pain as he doubled over and then there’s a continuous tornado of blows coming before he’s down for the count

Eight year old Dick: IM GONNA ROCK YOUR SHIT FUCKER *about to smash a granite statue on Jason’s head if Alfred hadn’t walked in at that moment*

Jason *tasting blood and wheezing* : I- I think my ribs are broken.. also why does this fucking feel like déjà vu?

Exhibit 2

Tim:

Robin!Dick:

Tim: uh- hey Dick?

*villain appears*

Tim *running in front* : Don’t worry I’ll protect yo-

Robin!Dick running out from behind him wielding an electric blowtorch he stole from Tim: MEET YOUR END TODAY!

Tim *panicking* : ROBIN NO

Dick *cackling* : ROBIN YES

Exhibit 3

Damian:

Dick:

Damian: Richard.. you’re- not what I expected.

Dick *scaling the side of the skyscraper to help a cat stuck there*

Damian: .. Compassion is a quality you always-

Damian:

Damian: .. Richard.. where is the rest of your gear?

Robin!Dick *with cats in hand running off the ledge*

Damian: RICHARD WHERE IS YOUR GRAPPLING HOOK?!

Dick ended up doing several gymnastic moves, giving a perfect landing with the cat in tow and not a single scratch on him. Damian has stopped functioning.

Bonus

Cass *smiling warmly*

Dick *smiling and waving* : HI NICE LADY!! Do you want a cookie? Alfred made them!!

Cass *taking the packet Dick is trying to hold upright*

Dick: That ones for you! And this *takes out a small box with a skull drawn on it with crayons* is for your family! I know you don’t like talking about them.. and I think they’re the ones who hurt you. Just give them one cookie and they’ll never bother you again!

Cass: :) . Thanks.. but cookie not solve everything..

Dick: Aww..

Dick:

Dick: If I burn their house down will that work?

Cass: •_•