bellasscam

[bellasscam]

It's so frustrating right now, Everything seems complicated. I want to get into building Power bank or Arduino nano at Home, In kitchen as I feel like cooking something with electronics, But it's Complicated because I don't know what is SoC or PCB boards?? Wtf is ATmega328P chip? What it is for??? Well, I'm trying and I'm trying really hard to understand it all and I still don't get it. "What can someone except for a 16 y/o" I say to myself but I should know about such stuffs, I believe.

I wanna to create a hobby or I want something to be obsessed with, incessantly into it and I have no passion, no desire for anything but whenever I try, it seems hard like really hard, I feel I lack something everytime and I feel less but never enough in myself.

-bella

[bellasscam]

I went out today, I had a blue top and mini black skirt on and wore a red eyeliner which someone complimented me for and there was this guy, who probably speaks English and he looked quite handsome boy, I hope I come across him again somewhere.

[bellasscam]

I'm broke and life's a joke.

-bella

[bellasscam]

I don't have my father's angry

I have my mother's madness and slowly it's settling in my bones and body

I fear that I will become someone my people fear

I'm scared for myself.

-bella

[bellasscam]

I believe, I would like to be on a hospital bed rather than live this life.

-bella

[bellasscam]

Sometimes it's better to stand in rain than with umbrella.

- bella

[bellasscam]

I did something.

Yep, I made a short flim and uploaded on YT. and believe me, it was tough and it's embarrassing but Let me be embarrassed for sometime until I get better.

It's named Monotonous on YouTube.

- bella.

[bellasscam]

I have just started.

I don't know when it will end and I'm already tired, pathetic isn't it? But I will keep going, I have to keep going because it's not for them but for myself.

- bella

[bellasscam]

Maybe he will never look back and I'll be the only fool to stay and wait for him to come back.

- bella

[bellasscam]

If it is a blessing to be able to wake up every morning than it is a curse to not sleep at nights because you can't stop thinking and worrying, all that anxiety pulling you down.

It is the worst than not waking up.

- bella

[bellasscam]

Improve your Financial Knowledge, ladies.

[reminder to myself as well.]

[bellasscam]

Recently I found out that my best friend has autophobia like even I wasn't aware so I feel bad now but I'm listening to lovers by anna North so it makes me feel good.

Should've known from the start

Now I'm in the dark

Show a little loving

Shine a little light on me

...

[bellasscam]

A guy in black suit, around 19:55...sis said he walked passed from near me and kept staring at my hairs...I looked up after she told me and saw his back. probably a office dude is what I thought, he was carrying a bag on his shoulders and he's looked like a mystery I'd want to solve. I haven't seen his face but I certainly wish too.

"hope our paths cross again."

- bella

[bellasscam]

I hate when I'm feeling scared, I hate the me who feels fear.

[bellasscam]

And once again I've failed in love.

[bellasscam]

Dear God

When I get to heaven, please let me bring my man.

-lana

[bellasscam]

“Being depressed is not boring at all”

[I just have it "depression", I never asked for it]

- bella