celloface

[celloface]

"no one's going to save you"

oh, is this the part where I'm supposed to say wow, guess I'd better save myself? no. fuck that. I hope all the people who should have cared enough to save me spend the rest of their lives feeling miserable and guilty at how little they did. I hope they realize they don't care about others much at all, in general. how tame and unbothered their little hearts are.

[celloface]

I fucking hate that the general response to RFK Jr's eugenist take on autistic people is "autistic people do pay taxes, autistic people do work, autistic people do date!"

Some autistic people don't and that shouldn't make them less worthy of life. Some autistic people do need constant help and support and that shouldn't make them less worthy of life.

Once again we're falling in the right wing trap of :

They make a hateful, fascist statement

Instead of focusing on the fact that it is hateful and fascist we try to show them that they are factually wrong

We throw our own allies and the most vulnerable of us under the bus in the process

We legitimise an only slightly less hateful, fascist view as we go

They have completed their goal of making us accept the still hateful, fascist second version, hurrah. What a victory.

Right now what we're getting to with that is that autistic people who can work and pay taxes are okay, and the others aren't. Fuck this shit.

Same thing happens with the people who are being deported ("they have a visa!", "they didn't even have a criminal record!" -> even if they didn't have a visa, even if they did have a criminal record, deporting them and detaining them in what's essentially a concentration camp wouldn't be okay, you absolute tools of fascism.)

[celloface]

plug in for life where no one can give me advice unless I specifically ask for it. especially about my body, health, or what I should eat.

YOUR ADVICE IS BAD

YES, I AM REFERRING TO THE UNIVERSAL YOU

YOU ARE NOT ME AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I NEED

YOU CANNOT PREDICT THE FUTURE OR GUARANTEE MY WELL-BEING ANY MORE THAN I CAN

SHUT UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT UP

[celloface]

i don’t give a fuck if i “sound like chatgpt,” you will pry—my em dash—from my cold—dead—hands—fuck you fuck you fuck you

[celloface]

My dear lgbt+kids, 

Allow yourself to start ridiculously small. 

This is likely not brand-new advice to you. There are a lot of „depression hacks“ to be found on tumblr that are based on this core idea: If you don’t have the energy to get up and shower, keep wet wipes on your nightstand. If you don’t have the energy to assemble a sandwich, eat the ingredients separately. If you don’t have the energy to brush your teeth, swish some mouthwash. If you don’t have the energy to wash dishes, use paper plates. 

But you don’t need to have severe depression (or any health issue at all) to be allowed to start small. It can be a great strategy for any positive change you want to introduce to your life. 

That applies to all those general „improving your health and wellbeing“ things: if you want to eat more vegetables but hate the hassle of preparing them, buy them pre-sliced or frozen or canned. If you want to exercise more but feel out of breath after two minutes, just exercise for two minutes. If you want to read whole books again, start by reading a few sentences. 

But it also applies to things like exploring your identity or experimenting with your gender presentation. You don’t need to have all the answers before you start trying things: If you want to wear makeup but don’t feel ready yet, you can try lip balm. If you may want short hair, you can just try out a little bit shorter for now. If it feels too early or too difficult or too vulnerable to ask your friends to help you try out a name or set of pronouns yet, you can try them out by using them for a character in a game you play or a story you write. 

Sure, for some people diving headfirst into new experiences really works best - and if that’s you, good for you! No need to fix a running system. But I dare say the vast majority of people will just stress (or even burn) themselves out if they try to rearrange their whole life in one day. 

Let’s get back to exercise as an example here. You may feel like exercising for two minutes is ridiculous, like it’s hardly worth it to even start working out if you are gonna stop in two minutes anyway - after all, you probably don’t have the inner picture of becoming someone who exercises for two minutes. You want to be someone who exercises. Period. You may worry that, if you allow yourself to start small, you’ll get stuck on that level. 

But if your starting point is pretty much „zero minutes of exercise a week“, the first step will be to build up the routine at all - not to crunch impressive numbers. 

Otherwise, you may pick out a great 30 minute workout video that matches up with your inner vision of becoming a fitness enthusiast… and then, because you’re not used to exercising at all, you will almost certainly fail at actually following it for the full 30 minutes, and then you may feel so demotivated and embarrassed by your „bad experience with exercise“ that you give up on exercising altogether. And end up with zero minutes of exercise again. 

If you set a goal you can actually achieve, you give yourself the chance to have a good experience with exercise. You give yourself the opportunity to actually see yourself accomplish that goal and stick to that new routine. You allow yourself to actually build up a exercise habit. The habit can always become longer or more intense, but it needs to exist in the first place. 

The same is true for exploring your identity. You don’t need to start by coming out to everyone or changing your legal documents or wearing a dress, high heels and makeup. It’s okay to find your own „two minutes of exercise“. 

Small steps aren’t fake steps. They’re important and brave - and sometimes they’re exactly what you need to get started on your journey to happiness. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[celloface]

endlessly hungry for a human love/connection that doesn't exist anywhere in this world

well fuck hunger

[celloface]

just sitting here on the first day of a new year, reflecting that I have never in my life known anyone whose "love" for me is preferable / more satisfying than isolation and driving myself towards death in some way. and that is not because I enjoy self-destruction. no. one. offers. better.

[celloface]

Bob’s Burgers, Turkey in a Can (S04E05)

[celloface]

It's scary, and I'm devastated, and despite all that, I'm here for you. I have that same sense of dread and fear and disappointment as I did 8 years ago. I want to have the strength to fight, but for now, I'm just here to take care as best as I can. We'll make it through together.

[celloface]

To all the trans people who see this tonight, no matter what happens, we will survive. Trans people will still be here 4 years from now and 10 years from now and 100 years from now and tomorrow. We have always existed and we always will. The world cannot unlearn about us; we are too public, too loud, too beloved, too present. Ill be here tomorrow. Please stay here with me.

[celloface]

anorexia be like "I can't breathe" except it's coming from your brain, not your lungs

[celloface]

I’m such a slut for casual intimacy. Like yesss rest your chin on my shoulder while we're in line at the grocery store, I live for that shit.

[celloface]

I don't love that the only preview we get of Haley's life as an adult is that she is regularly sexually harassed by a male coworker/"friend" to the point of exclaiming "oh thank god!" when she finds out her brother's new baby is a girl.

[celloface]

Kate: After they got done stitching Jack up, the doctor asked him why he went to the park, and he said, "because that's where mommy and daddy are happy."

*pause*

Kate: So yeah, we're in the system now.

[celloface]

oh uh. scuse me. just a lil snail crossing your dash

[celloface]

If you think that you may be neurodivergent or disabled and you self diagnose in order to access resources I have one thing to tell you.

Whether you turn out to be neurodivergent or not, you deserve whatever resources or accommodations that will make your life happier, safer, or easier.

Everyone deserves the help they need, whether they have a disability or not. Whether you are self diagnosed or professionally diagnosed. Everyone deserves accommodations, and if you think otherwise that is rooted in ableism. The idea that accommodations are scarce and should be reserved for only the people who need them most is rooted in capitalist systems that shame disabled people for being 'useless' and requiring resources.

[celloface]