darkcottoncandy - Tumblr blog

[darkcottoncandy]

Working for the future and still living in the present is how I want to live my life.

[darkcottoncandy]

Hopefully someday I'll completely forget that I have a phone in my pocket and that would be one of the happiest days of life. 💓

via vsco.co

[darkcottoncandy]

The one where we will forever miss you.

The first sitcom I ever watched and the first character I fell in love with. Trust me there was no one like you. I am always going to re-watch the whole series for you and your amazing sarcastic jokes. Though I know watching friends is never going to feel same again. I never felt this deeply about any other celebrity but maybe you were too special because someone who makes us laugh deeply has a special place in our hearts.

I loved what you were in Friends even though it was just a show. But your pretty smiles, your love for Joey and Monica and ultimately your character development will always remain unforgettable.

Yes the world will still revolve and life will go on for everyone as it always does. But you know you made such an impact on so many people, that everyone will binge watch your show and movies again and again just to see you one more time.

I hope you know how much people loved you and I hope you are at peace where ever you are. With a heavy heart this is a goodbye from my side till we meet someday. Rest in peace my dear Chandler.

[darkcottoncandy]

We can feel our heart broken into pieces and still laugh on the weirdest shit we find on the internet. We can be a crying mess and still be strong when a friend needs us more. We can feel a void deep inside that aches every second we breathe and still love life.

Because maybe this is what being a human means. The ability to feel different things at a time. The dynamic emotions that can co-exist so beautifully that it confuses our each and every brain cell that how can I even feel this. But we can. Without feeling guilty about it. We question our emotions more than we tend them and maybe that's why our chest feels heavier almost all the time.

It's completely okay to feel mismatched emotions at a time. Please stop feeling guilt for being a human and reacting like one.

[darkcottoncandy]

This !!!!!!

[darkcottoncandy]

“Never make fun of someone’s passion because that’s the thing that saves them from the world.”

— Unknown

[darkcottoncandy]

Relationships should help you in self growth not the other way around. 🤝

[darkcottoncandy]

And then there are days when you feel like giving up, but instead take a break and try again when you feel like. ❤️

[darkcottoncandy]

[darkcottoncandy]

I love the kindness a random stranger has to offer. I love the happiness we feel around our closest ones. I love the beauty our mother nature holds. I love the time that we get to spend laughing out loud holding our stomachs. Ultimately I love everything that makes me want to live a little bit more, because the big things are always made up of these small things that we forget to be grateful about.

So take a moment, and start loving everything you have that makes you feel alive . 🤝

[darkcottoncandy]

I'm tired of enduring my life. I am tired of always thinking, "When is this day going to be over, this week, this month, this year?" I am tired of the unrealistic demands the society we live in places upon me, forcing me to live this way. I want to enjoy my life, not just endure it. I want to savor every moment, like you savor a good wine, taking your time, smelling it, swishing it in the back of your mouth and leaving it there for a while to savor all the flavors and notes, even the hidden ones, and then feel it go down your throat in a velvet deluge. I don't want to keep chugging it back like hot beer just so I can endure getting it down. I want to take time for what is important, for my family, my friends, the man I love, for myself. I want to be able to do what nurtures my soul. I want to sit down and just look at the clouds go by without having this voice in the back of my mind reminding me I have so much to do, so much yet pending. I should really get going. I shouldn't be dallying like this. I want for once to sit in peace and have nothing bothering me in the back of my mind. No other discourse in my head than relaxing and enjoying everything about this moment. I want to live, damn it, not just exist!

e.v.e. (I want to live!)

[darkcottoncandy]

I am not a normal person. Well I don't particularly understand what normal really means though. Is it being completely sane and not freak out on the minor inconvenience ? Or Is it being able to handle everything meticulously no matter how tough it is ?

Well if this is what being normal is then I am definitely not. I get worried over things, my emotions take over most of the time and specially when there are people involved, who I don't want to hurt. I get panicky almost in all the situations because I doubt myself. I doubt myself that if I will be able to seek a solution, if I will be able to make a right decision.

I overthink about everything. I try to keep the worst case scenarios in my mind so that I don't expect too much from anyone or anything. I live in a continuum of optimism and pessimism daily.

We all have a different definition of normal. This is mine.

To keep my boundaries and still trying to not hurt others. To say no and still not feel guilty about it. To panic and still reminding yourself that you can get through this. And to mess up and still struggle to make it right somehow. And to feel apprehensive and still find my peace somewhere right here in this scary ass world.

[darkcottoncandy]

The never ending conflict between not wanting to be dead but not to be alive either.

[darkcottoncandy]

i made your favorite dish. i made you something you’ve never tried before. i love you. i spent twenty minutes chopping. my grandmother made this for me when i was little. i made this dairy free for you. i love you. i want to eat together. the onions made me cry. i love you. i learned this recipe for you. i love you. i made this special for your birthday. i love you. i know you don’t like peppers. i love you. i love you. i love you.

[darkcottoncandy]

I don't think anyone deserves the space in our mind and heart unless they bring peace and love along with them.

[darkcottoncandy]

And you don't like oweing things to people but still you owe yourself to them every single day. Why ?

[darkcottoncandy]

Scared ? But are you really ?

So are you really scared of relationships or you are just tired ? Because when i see you all i see is a girl who is still a hopeless romantic. Who still is optimistic enough to believe that she will find her love of the life sooner or later. Who still dreams of dancing with his man in the kitchen at 2 am while making food and who still dreams about watching movies, cuddling, talking, loving and living together.

Yes maybe the idea of commitment, relationships, trusting some another person again scares you right now but the person who would be meant for you is going to take all the negatives away. You will trust again, you will fall in love again but all you have to do is stay cautious. Learn from your past experiences, trust your guts, follow your instincts and when you finally find your right person, fall hard for that person and make sure they fall for you too. With the same intensity, desire and depth.