dragoqueen

[dragoqueen]

casual survey: reblog if you want to kiss a girl right now

[dragoqueen]

It's me. I'm the pretty boy

where are all the pretty boys?

[dragoqueen]

My husband is so eloquent <3

The Reverse Mountain arc is just Luffy and co. going on a log ride for the first time.

[dragoqueen]

Catch Me If I Fall

Words: 2258

Summary: Peter Parker had thought he had finally found a decent balance in his life. He was living happily with May. He got to have lab days with Tony, have movie nights over at the compound, and he had his two best friends in the world to finish high school with. However, his life takes a turn when May suddenly develops a terrible disease that can't be cured, and she only has 2-3 weeks left to live. Soon left with no living relatives, Peter's left to pick up the pieces of the life he once knew with only his mentor to help him through it. The question he's asking himself; now what?

_____

The first thing Peter noticed when he had entered the room was the deathly chill that had settled over the place. It was strange to him as May usually turned on her heater before bed, but she must’ve just forgotten the previous night. He shivers, hugging his arms closer to his body, as he makes his way over to where May is laying on her bed. At first, he gently shakes her body to attempt to wake her up. There’s one problem with this though; her body is so stiff he can barely shake her. At first, he thinks she just must be conscious enough to make her body more immobile but as he continues to attempt to move her body in an attempt to rouse her it slowly dawns on him. He pauses, taking a step back from her body to process exactly what was happening. Everything wrong with the situation floods his head.

She shouldn’t look like this. She shouldn’t be so… stiff, so cold.

Then it hits him.

He stops for a second, turning away from her body to think the logistics of this through; after all, she should be fine. The doctors had said she had at least another week. She shouldn’t… she… Why was she like this?

She’s fine. She should be fine. Peter repeats the mantra in his head, attempting to calm himself down.

He steps forward, again attempting to shake her awake. This time he’s saying her name - whispering at first but gradually getting louder and louder. Soon he’s nearly shouting at her body, not even allowing himself to comprehend what’s happening. Distantly, he can hear Karen talking. She’s saying something about Mr. Stark and maybe the authorities, he can’t be sure. He knows that she must be alerting him about his heart rate. He can feel it himself. His heart feels like it’s almost beating out of his chest, and his breathing is getting faster and faster. But he doesn’t care about that right now. How could he, when May’s like this?

Finally, the logical part of his brain forces him to step back from her, sitting on the rough carpeted floor that he’d used to sit on when Ben would read him stories. He follows what Tony had told him once about staying calm in stressful situations. Putting his head between his knees, held one hand over his heart, and listened to his breathing. His watch starts vibrating and he attempts to breathe with the beats.

Beep.

In….

Beep.

Out…

Beep.

In…

He shuts his eyes, clenching them shut as if that’d make the reality around him disappear. As if that’d make May better. He knows that he shouldn’t be acting like this. Not when May’s laying on her bed… not when she might be…

No. He can’t think like that. She’s- she’s gonna be fine. Mr. Stark was going to come with his team of doctors, maybe he’d bring Bruce, and he would fix her up. Tell him that it was just a light scare and that she was fine. In fact, the doctors had been wrong all along. May was going to be just fine. She’d be around for his graduation. For him to get into MIT. Maybe if he got married she’d be there for that too. All of the monumental life moments that he still had yet to live through, she would be there for. Right?

Through the windows, he can hear the muffled sounds of sirens getting louder. He knew that Mr. Stark would be there any moment, to comfort him and make everything better. He’d forgotten all about controlling his breathing now and had laid completely on the floor now, curled into a fetal position on his side and his eyes still shut so he wouldn’t have to face reality. Besides the sirens and the buzzing of the AC, all he could hear was his sobs. The tears ran down his face and soaked the MIT sweatshirt that he had borrowed from Tony a week ago. A week ago when everything was better. When May wasn’t diagnosed with some god-awful sickness that he hadn’t even known existed till then. It was some obscure new disease that the doctor said had only been around for 5 years or so. While it only killed 25 people a year, it did so in a matter of weeks if you couldn’t recognize the signs fast enough.

That’s what had happened to May. Everything had seemed fine with her. Or at least, that was the facade she had kept up to convince him that nothing was wrong. The symptoms weren’t that visible physically. Sure, she had really terrible headaches every once and a while, but she’d hidden those from him. It had also gotten a bit harder for her to walk, something he had, in fact, noticed, but had attributed to the fact that she worked so many long hours at the hospital. He figured she was overworked and needed to take a break, something she ended up using as an excuse to quit her job, or as she had told him “take a vacation”.

When she finally had sat him down with Tony to explain what exactly was happening to her and that she probably only had three to four weeks to live, he’d just shut down.

Instead of saying how sorry he was and trying to comfort her, he locked up; his body forcing him to zone out. The room got more and more fuzzier as the tears rolled down his face and his breath quickened. He had felt so bad that she’d had to stop there and calm him down. A moment that should have been dedicated to May, wasted on him.

It was them when he’d promised himself to not waste any more time on himself while May was alive, no matter what. Tony had helped him learn how to calm down from panic attacks like the one he’d had that day, and the one he was having now. It was all useless now though. What was the point when May was gone?

Like a guardian angel, Tony busted through the door, taking in the sight of Peter sprawled out on the floor; May laying behind him. “Oh, bambino…” he muttered to himself before scooping Peter up off the floor. Had he had more strength, he would have fought Tony off. Instead, he just laid there in Tony’s arms, shaking from crying. Medics rushed in shortly after Peter arrived, most of them attending to May right away. One of them had stopped to confirm with Tony that Peter was physically okay for the time being, before allowing him to remove Peter from the house. It wouldn’t have mattered if they had given him permission or not though, Tony knew exactly what Peter needed, and at the moment it was removing him from the situation.

Despite Peter’s struggles of returning back to May, Tony managed to haul him out of the house and fly him back to the compound. His arms were wrapped around Peter the entire way, mumbling comforts to him. Peter had given up on fighting Tony as soon as he’d exited the house, immediately slumping against him, welcoming the comfort. The entire night had tired him out, even though he had nearly just woken up a few hours ago. Tony knew that, so he allowed Peter to fall asleep on his bed as soon as they’d landed.

Pepper had also been woken up when Friday had alerted Tony of Peter’s state, so she’d spent the half hour Tony had been gone to prepare Peter’s room for him and anything he might need, just in case he needed to be brought over there. Neither of them had known if Peter’s state had been just him freaking out or if something had happened to May, but they had both prepared for the worst.

While Peter slept, the two talked to each other, wondering aloud what was to happen now to Peter now that May was gone. Of course, her will had been settled long before she knew about her circumstance - after Peter started spending more time over at the compound and she realized how close the pair had grown, she’d made it so Tony and Pepper would have custody over Peter in the odd chance that anything happened. However, they both knew that it was going to be hard for Peter. They decided to figure it out when Peter woke up, and instead prepared for when that happened.

He ended up waking up three hours later, laying there and staring up at the ceiling until Friday alerted Tony. Peter knew that he was going to have to deal with reality at some point and gather his thoughts in-place. Until then he just sat there, not allowing his mind to focus on anything specific but the classical music playing quietly in the background.

When Tony walked in, Peter sat up and motioned for Tony to sit next to him. They sat in silence for a few moments, the brevity of the situation sinking in. Finally, Peter broke the silence. “Is she… is she really gone?”

Tony sighed, nodding regretfully to himself before answering. “Yeah, Bud. I’m sorry… You want to talk about it.”

Peter inhaled sharply. “Not right now. I don’t think my mind actually knows what’s happening. Probably a trauma response or something. I know Dr. Banner’s talked about things like that before.” He was rambling, and he knew it. Something he always used when he didn’t quite understand what was going on. “I just… how is she gone? Why?” “Bud, sometimes these things happen. And, I know how much you loved her, but she’ll always be there for you. Even if it’s just in spirit.”

Peter nodded, not able to answer back, but instead burying himself in Tony’s arms. The two embraced each other, staying like that for a while. Peter was back to crying now. Peter concentrated on his breath, knowing that it would give himself something to focus on other than May. While she was the one person he should be focusing on right now, he didn’t think he could handle it.

Instead, he allowed himself to bury himself in Tony’s arms and just live in the moment. Sometimes, as Spiderman, he felt that he had to handle things all on his own. He was a superhero, so he should be able to do things like that. It was part of the job. But, Tony helped him understand that sometimes it was fine for him to take a break and allow other people to help him. It was one of the things comforting him in the moment.

After nearly a half hour of sitting together and allowing Peter to cry into his arms, Tony finally suggested that they go get him some food. Tony knew that with all of the energy Peter had exerted today dealing with everything, he’d be hungry. Luckily, Pepper had already started preparing the kitchen for omelets - Tony’s special.

While the couple cooked and prepared their breakfast, Peter sat on the couch, idly watching a Star Wars movie. The usually busy kitchen was no longer filled with laughter and chatter, but instead was soaked in a grim silence. Peter was grateful they weren’t forcing him to talk about anything for the time being. He really didn’t want to think about how his whole life was being torn apart right now, nor about what would happen with May.

Something deep down inside of him told him that she was gone now and he was going to have to understand that eventually. He just… he didn’t want to. Why should he when his whole life had been turned upside down in the course of a few hours? He’d always heard about how life wasn’t fair and sometimes you just had to suck it up and deal with it. His entire life was about dealing with trauma and how he was the one who’d beat the odds and made it out alive when none of his other family members did. He was supposed to just understand by now that he wasn’t meant to have anyone close to him because when that happened they died, but maybe this time he didn’t want to accept that. Instead, he pushed away all of his thoughts and lost himself in the world of lightsabers and spaceship battles.

When the food was ready, he joined them at the table in silence, answering a few questions about how the movie was. However, gone was his usually extroverted self. When the meal was over, he silently excused himself back to his room, entirely missing the concerned glance that Tony and Pepper exchanged as he left the room. He laid out on his bed and immediately fell asleep. Why shouldn’t he? After all, if he wasn’t conscious he didn’t have to think about anything. For once, he was glad that he didn’t typically dream. He was sure that if he did, he’d be forced to endure the horrific scene all over again. The cold chill that had robbed him of all warmth, and the silence that made him feel like he was alone in the universe.

As the last bit of consciousness was ripped from his body to leave him in a blissful state of ignorance, he realized that from now on, life was going to be much harder and much different than it ever had but maybe, just maybe, with Tony and Pepper he’d get through it.

[dragoqueen]

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Wow, I really need to create a consistent writing schedule and posting schedule for the stuff I post (I cross post on three different websites) cause I’ve been neglecting this one for a while. Anyway, here’s this. Maybe I’ll start updating more often! 

Words: 644

Summary: While Loki is questioning Peter he accidentally trauma-dumps... a lot. But Peter's there to comfort him in his tough times and offer reassurances for the future.

_____

“Why do you care about me so much?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… everyone in the tower hates me. I attacked your city. I killed some of your people. I hurt your mentor, nearly killing him. Why don’t you hate me like the rest of them?”

“I believe in second chances. Mr. Thor says you’re good so I’ll believe him until you give me a reason to believe otherwise. Besides, Mr. Thor said… he said that someone brainwashed you?

That it wasn’t actually you doing all of that.”

“Oh. He said that? And you… you believed him?”

“Yes. Were you actually..?”

“Brainwashed? Yes. It’s… complicated. You see, my father always favored Thor over me. I learned later in life that was due to the fact that I wasn’t his biological son. I was, in fact, the son of our kingdom’s enemy. Laufey. A frost giant… a monster. He resented me for that reason. I’ll never know why he took me only to treat me so terribly.

“Thor, having looked up to our father so much, decided that he too would hold the same grudge against me. He treated me well in our childhood, as any brother would, but it changed when he found out my true identity. He was different. Crueler. He and his friends found great joy in tormenting me. So I fought back. Decided that if they were going to treat me like some plague to the family then I’d become just that. My pranks suddenly got more hurtful. They started causing more harm than something just for laughs. I- I hurt a lot of people. I just… didn’t know what else to do.

“And then I tried to take over Asgard. Almost succeeded too, if my idiotic conscious hadn’t regretted fighting against him. So instead I sacrificed myself to what I thought would be a quick and somewhat painless death. Giving myself away to the void to end all previous hurt I’d felt from my father and brother. Instead it was just the start of many more pains.

“I fell on a lost planet. A tribe found me. They kept me on the verge of death. I went from one torture to the next, from being starved nearly to death to being put through torment after torment that should’ve killed me had they not revived me; only to put me through it once again. Eventually I gave up. Lost any hope of escaping or returning to any sort of normal life I once lived.

“That’s when the mad titan found me. Thanos was his name. He helped me get better. Fed me, cared for me, even trained me with the promise of restoring my previous glory. I felt no wish for what once was my greatest desire, but I feared that he would cast me back out to the tribe. So instead I stayed with him, hoping that with the promise of becoming one of his children after succeeding by completing a mission I would find a family. Someone who would care for me.

“As I was trained, I realized that it was a lie. I continued under the guise that I wished to join him but truthfully I wished to escape the soonest chance I got. When I was finally deemed worthy enough to go on my mission to retrieve for him the tesseract from Midgard - or your Earth, he got doubts of me. While they were, in fact, valid it nonetheless didn’t help. He used the very scepter on me I used to control people here on Earth. Made my mind only focused on the one task of getting him the tesseract.

“I’m not sure how much Barton’s told you about his… experiences under the scepter's control, but it’s not a pleasant experience. Your own conscience is still there. It’s just pushed back into the back of your mind. It’s replaced by someone else’s thoughts. Their commands. You’re forced to do whatever they say, no matter how much you try and push against it. Somehow, I was able to take what little strength I had left as a god and control my actions a little. I sabotaged the mission as much as I could by getting myself captured, purposefully recruiting people that would further encourage your SHIELD to fight back against me, and creating loopholes in my plan to bring the Chitauri here. I did many things I regret under his control, and as much as I wish I could blame it on him there’s always a small part of me that just… blames myself.

“Try as I can, there’s not much I can do to change my past. So instead I’ve been focusing on my future. Doing what I can to mend relationships with the people here at this tower, staying out of trouble as much as I can, and making as little a mess for my brother as possible. I know this all sounds rather troubling but it’s my reality. I- I am sorry for dumping this on you rather suddenly. You are rather easy to talk to. My apologies for any troubles I may have brought on you I can leave-”

Loki pauses as Peter suddenly changes his slightly calm and disturbed expression he’d held the entire conversation into that of one full of… remorse. Peter’s silent for a moment, and Loki starts worrying that he’d said too much. Perhaps the youngling would go and tell all of the Avengers. He’d be mocked by them and likely cast out. His brother likely wouldn’t do much to stop them. He was on a thin line with getting Thor to bring him here already. It was only because of his mother’s wishes that he was safely harbored on Earth instead of in the dungeons under Odin’s wrath. He didn’t know if he’d be able to-

Oh.

“What is this?” he asks.

Loki pauses, trying to figure out the reaction from the spiderling. He’d thrown himself at Loki, but instead of attacking, like Loki thought he might, he’d wrapped his arms around him in some form of… endearment.

Yes, that’s what it was. Loki hadn’t experienced something like this in forever. While his brother had used to hug him often back when they were civil to each other, such interaction had since waned. The only physical reaction he ever got that wasn’t negative and fueled by rage or distaste was from his mother, whom he hadn’t seen in nearly a year. He didn’t want to move, for fear of ruining the moment or startling the young avenger. All he could do was sit there, his arms still held out slightly in alarm. His mind focused on Peter’s breathing. Strong and steady against his own panicked breathing for fear of doing something wrong.

His mind was focused on how mad Thor would probably be if he found out that Loki had spilled their family secrets. One of the oaths he'd been made to swear before being allowed back to Earth was that he'd never speak of the things that occurred on Asgard. All of their family troubles and torments towards Loki were to be hidden to the Avengers as to not ruin their image of Thor and possibly risk war against their people. Thor also feared that if they found out what Odin had done to Loki they'd take Loki's favor over Thor's own, something that he certainly couldn't use for his benefit during his prolonged stay on Earth. He quickly pushed back from Peter. Though, he almost immediately regretted it at a single look at Peter’s distressed face. He scooted away from him on the couch, pulling his knees to his chest protectively, and almost instinctively as it was one of the positions he often held while trying to protect himself against Thor or Odin’s attacks.

“I- I’m terribly sorry. I shouldn’t have told you any of that. Thor can’t know any of this. Please. Don’t tell him any of this. He… I don’t know what he’d do to me if he found out you knew. You have to keep this a secret. Please.”

He was getting distressed. He could hear from his strained voice and the pleading evident in his tone. But he had no other option. The boy couldn’t tell Thor.

“Mr. Loki, it’s okay. You don’t have to worry about anything. I- I won’t tell anyone if you really don’t want to. But I feel like you could benefit if I were to tell Mr. Stark. He might be able to help you. We could get you some help and get you away from… from Mr. Thor. If he’s really as bad as you say. I- I thought he was good. He seemed so good.”

“People often seem good in the eyes of those less fortunate and under their mercy. Even for their own sake. He was protecting himself. I can’t blame him. I can’t even blame him for what he’s done for me. Pathetic I know.”

“No. Mr. Loki you are not pathetic. I think you’re strong. And brave for having stayed strong despite everything you’ve been through. Listen, I know I’m a kid and I can’t do much but if you ever have anything you need to talk about, something you need to get off your shoulders, you can come and takl to me. You don’t have to worry about me telling Mr. Loki. We shouldn’t have to suffer through these things alone.” Loki couldn’t believe it. All the things he’d just told Peter and yet he was offering him comfort. And an offer that he simply shouldn’t refuse. He knew it was bad to keep all of that bottled up. But what was he supposed to do? No one else it seemed would believe him, or even care enough to help him.

“Thank you, Peter.”

Peter smiled, something that immediately brought reassurance to Loki. “Anytime.”

[dragoqueen]

Haha sister sent a terrible video of me to someone I look up to and now I feel like crying and I already don’t like my appearance enough as is!

[dragoqueen]

yes, yes, and very much so yes!

Reblog if you are ASEXUAL, SUPPORT ASEXUALS, or really really want to WEAR A REALLY FANCY BLACK CAPE

[dragoqueen]

Writing Update

Hello my lovelies!

Alright, I just finished nano and am pleased to report I wrote all 50k words. While I’m taking a break for now to work on a one shot (maybe longer) just to give myself a break before heading back into that, it will happen. However, it’s probably not going to happen for a long time due to the fact that I’m at 50k words and I’m still in the introduction (legit, Peter has just now met Stark as Peter Parker instead of Spiderman) so this is going to be a very long fic and going to be a lot of editing on my part. 

Related to the one shot I’m working on, it’s basically a fandom versus Avengers, nerf war style. This is based on a chapter in my Whoops Wrong Way! fic that one of my wattpad readers recommended. For now most of the information is on my wattpad until I find enough energy to put together an actual google form and stuff for it but if you’re interested in being a character for that go over there or fill a thing out soon when I get it out. More details coming soon but thank you all for being patient with me! 

[dragoqueen]

Update: she made it and my friend is also making me two bracelets with both of my flags that will be slightly more comfortable than the one my sister made me.

Gay

You ever just… convince your sibling to make you a bracelet with your pride flag colors without them knowing cause they’re homophobic? 

[dragoqueen]

Gay

You ever just... convince your sibling to make you a bracelet with your pride flag colors without them knowing cause they’re homophobic? 

[dragoqueen]

Nanowrimo

Hey guys, so I’m doing Nanowrimo again this year and I’m super excited since I’ve started out pretty strong so far. I’m about to hit 10k today which I never really stay on track for so I’m happy about it. For my regular readers, it’s a peter parker fic again (more irondad, of course) so be looking forward to that once I finish and edit/revise it. 

[dragoqueen]

I suck at dedication

So.... Guess who abandoned all their avengers stuff to plan out a 7-part, probably incredibly long, Oc x Draco Malfoy fic that I first thought of like 3 years ago...? Spoiler alert: it’s me. 

So anyway, that’s what I’m currently doing. My goal is to just hash out a solid first draft within like two weeks before I lose focus which means I will be dedicating a lot of my time to this. Anyway, I’ll probably post it on here and on my wattpad account so look forward to that. I’m just working on aesthetics right now so I might post that as well soon.

[dragoqueen]

Draco/Nico???

This isn’t an update, though I know I did promise one, my bad. But would anyone be interested in a Draco Malfoy/Nico Di Angelo fic? Cause I started writing one like a year ago and it was actually pretty decent from what I wrote back then and I’m thinking about writing one. 

[dragoqueen]

Loki x Sylvie Headcannon

Hello to my followers and non-followers alike. To my followers, sorry I haven’t updated any of my stories recently or added anything new. Just started back up again at school and life’s a bit chaotic, but I have quite a few new things planned that will be posted soon. 

Besides that, I found this picture and I came up with a headcannon for it so here it is and if it’s popular enough I might turn it into a oneshot:

Loki teaches Sylvie how to do the little firework trick, and then when they're fighting together or just rly far apart on missions, it becomes their little code that they do to show each other that they're okay (kind of like the horns in Croods) and then one day Loki does that and she doesn't do it back. And then he freaks out and has to go find her only to realize she got super injured on the battle field and he like freaks out and has to teleport her back to whatever med thingy they have established and the whole time he's just muttering to himself "c'mon you're fine. Don't leave me. I need you. You're going to be fine."

[dragoqueen]

Day 15

Went camping again. Back again. Late again. 

Anyway, here’s a quick list of the ones I could think of (fanon and canon alike)

Catradora (She-ra)

Carol/Valkyrie (Avengers)

Loki/Grandmaster (Avengers)

Thor/Bruce (Avengers)

Stucky  (Avengers)

Drarry (Harry Potter)

Luna/Ginny (Harry Potter)

Perfuma/Scorpia (She-ra)

Remus/Sirius (Harry Potter)

[dragoqueen]

Day 14

[dragoqueen]

Day 13

When did I realize I wasn’t straight?

Well, I actually have quite a funny story that goes along with this. Basically, I grew up super sheltered in a Christian family, so I genuinely didn’t know what homosexuality was, nor anything about the LGBTQIA+ community. But I ended up in a friend group that did. In fact, they were like all part of the community in one way or another. 

Apart from that fact, apparently I was really... we’ll say friendly around other people. Just really physical. Not in a bad way, just young me didn’t know personal boundaries and I was like hugging female friends and like sitting close to them and whatnot, which apparently led to them and a bunch of other people in our grade to thinking I was a lesbian, which I found out at a sleepover. At the time I was like “yeah, no I’m straight.” But, ha, now I’ve realized I’m not...

Anyway, I actually found out a bit after that. Probably sometime around quarantine happened. A lot of alone time and a lot of youtube watching and fanfiction reading led me to be like, “Ha. Girls are pretty. That’s... not straight” and after quite a bit of researching, a whole lot of questioning, and a bit of help from an online friend and I’m where I am today. Panromantic asexual and proud.