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Brucie can Crash Out sometimes

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Considering how much Jason didn't care about anyone but Bruce during his revenge rampage, and how ridiculous everything was before he eventually came back to the family, it probably took him a stupid long time to realize he wasn't the second oldest child

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Jason: ...And as the second oldest- Tim: Third oldest. Jason: Huh? Tim: Cass is, like, seven months older than you? Jason: Jason: SINCE WHEN??

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....calendar man

(Heavily referenced off of some 1993 Robin panels/kind of a Tom Lyle style study)

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My favourite crack scenario ever is gotta be the one where Jaybin took fic commissions out of boredom and because he wanted to have some independent money Just In Case. And little Tim? Little Tim ordered fics from him, damn well knowing who is an author. Because who else could accurately write him a canon fic about Batman and Nightwing if not current Robin?

Jaybin, on his Ao3 account : So, hey, BTW, commissions are open again. Check it out

Tim, instantly sliding in his dms: Can I commission, like, long fic with Original Male Character & Batfam, where he becomes a new Robin? Need Nightwing and current Robin (idk what to do with him tho, maybe he is separate vig now, you choose) LOVE him. Like it is their little brother. And stuff

Jaybin: ...

Jaybin: $?

Tim: 2 per word! And I need a lot words, man.

Jaybin: Jesus Christ.

Jaybin: DEAL.

Jason delivers him the longest fic ever with the most interesting family dynamics, detective plot lines, and adventure series to ever exist, putting all his own knowledge in it. Tim prints it out, binds a book, re-reads it, and annotates constantly. It is his favourite book even after so many years.

And then? And then, Jason is fucking back.

Jason, groaning, while going through Tim's shelves: Come on, do you have something interesting to read? I am bored, and— *slowly picks up his own fic, binded in a proper book* Oh my fucking God.

Tim, turning around: What did you—

Tim: OH MY FUCKING GOD.

Jason: IT WAS YOU??????

Tim: I CAN EXPLAIN

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thank you^^

and yes they work kind of like surnames, showing what family or pod you belong to. Also, most are enchanted to shimmer or glow underwater, but only to others wearing a matching bracelet from the same pod. It helps family members find each other more easily underwater, which is why it’s super rare to see merfolk without one, especially kids.

< previous part / next part >

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I think it'd be funny if the identity reveal was super anticlimactic. Clark has an interview scheduled with Bruce Wayne about some new project or initiative the company is doing and he walks into Bruce's office and sits down and through a combination of sounds/smells/matching injuries/whatever just immediately recognizes him as Batman and is so surprised he can't contain his reaction and he's just like "Batman...?"

And Bruce loses the Brucie Wayne posture immediately, rolls his eyes and just says, unsurprised and a bit condescending, "Superman."

And then they just sit there in silence, staring at each other, Clark very confused and Bruce clearly annoyed at how quickly Superman recognized him. And when it becomes clear Bruce isn't going to say anything further, Clark looks down at his notes where he has some questions written down and, without knowing what else to do, just awkwardly starts with the first question.

The following interview is one of the strangest he's ever done. Bruce gives some very typical Brucie Wayne answers but all completely deadpan, hardly any inflection. He's also clearly grumpy the entire time. Aside from Bruce not acting like Brucie Wayne, there is no further mention or acknowledgement of their superhero identities. Clark goes back to Metropolis in a daze and still isn't convinced that the whole thing wasn't a fever dream.

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De-aged batfam because its finally summer!

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THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY MADE MY FUCKING DAY

BRO WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE HES ABOUT TO BURST INTO TEARS 😭😭😭

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at every customer service job i’ve worked at, during the initial introduction and workplace tour there’s always that moment where it stops being a professional ‘this is our workplace and these are the rules’ intro and becomes the ‘this is hell and these are the corners we can get away with cutting’ tour, i.e ‘this is the cupboard we go to sit and cry in during bad days’ and ‘you aren’t supposed to steal but we get minimum wage so nobody gives a shit if you take a handful of biscuits’.

with that in mind. Tim showing Damian the ropes of being Robin.

Tim: so after patrol you’re supposed to do a nightly report of any incidents at the batcomputer, i’ll show you the login and how the system works…

Bruce: *nods in satisfaction and walks away*

Tim, the second they’re alone: ok so to be honest you’re supposed to do it at the batcomputer so it’s thorough but none of us can be fucked with that so what we usually do is just keep a note on our phones of any major incidents and then on the way back to the cave we send a screenshot of it to Oracle and she inputs it remotely, it saves you like half an hour every night.

Damian: i see.

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Tim: this is the weapon storage centre; at the end of the night every bat tool has to be accounted for and scanned into the system.

Damian: everything is to be returned to here?

Tim: yeah, Bruce’s orders. but what we haven’t told B is that Dick broke the scanning system years ago so if you want to nick a cool knife or grapple gun for everyday use then you can literally scan, like, an apple or something, and input the code as the item you’re stealing and Bruce never notices.

Damian: *intrigued*

Tim: i scanned a sharpie instead of a flamethrower i was supposed to return one night. Bruce still doesn’t know it’s in my school backpack.

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Tim: this is the usual patrol route; that’s where we usually get to rest for fifteen minutes, by that 7-11 down there, and over in that alley there’s a really secluded abandoned balcony that no civilians can see.

Tim: that’s where we go during rough nights when we want to cry or stare into space for a few minutes.

Damian: good to know.

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Tim: if you hurt a rogue too badly you’re supposed to log the injuries inflicted on them to Bruce’s online files so he gets flagged by any major incidents, but Jason figured out that if you tag the injury as ‘light skin trauma’ it will register in the system as a scratch and automatically get put in the ‘unimportant��� file which Bruce isn’t notified by. So even if you stab Scarecrow in the neck, as long as you tag it as ‘light skin trauma with metal implement’ Bruce won’t see it.

Tim: the same applies to our own injury reports, so like, if you ever can’t be fucked with having to sit still and be examined in the medbay after a busy patrol, that’s how you get around him knowing you’re hurt.

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Tim: there’s supposed to be a limit on the amount of training you can do per day to stop us from ‘over doing it’ but if you time your workout to the evenings where Bruce works on the batmobile, then he never remembers to keep an eye on the timer and we get like an extra hour.

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Tim: this is the only chandelier in the manor that Alfred can’t get to to clean it, so he relies on us to swing up and polish it every now and then. So if you smoke, up there is where Jason hides his stash.

Damian: …i am eleven.

Tim: Jason started when he was ten, i dont know.

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Tim: you’re supposed to take water with you on patrol so we all have our own bottles that attach to the belt. Bruce checks that we have it but not what’s inside it, so you can fill it up with whatever. i usually go for coffee. one time Jason and Dick split a pint of margaritas in theirs and tried to see who could drink and swing the best. Dick hit a lamppost.

Damian:

Damian: …well yes. the pit enhanced Todd’s metabolism, so alcohol rarely will effect him.

Tim:

Tim: that sneaky motherfucker

Tim, turning away: DICK GUESS WHAT-

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this ain't about him but when dick comes out to Bruce I think Bruce has a moment where it just does not compute. obviously he knows what being trans is but for Bruce his hypermasculinity is part of his disguise it just doesn't bother him. so he's kind of like. well yes dick we're all pretending to be men. that's what being a man is

dick putting her head in her hands: okay i'm not letting you derail my coming out but we are putting a pin in that for later.

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The campaign didn't end well tbh

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dick and jason being antagonistic siblings. no more soft shit let them punch each other at 7am bcs jason ate the last of dicks cereal. dick loses a tooth and they’re banished to opposite sides of the house until they agree to apologise to each other. they’re not allowed to sit next to each other on the couch/during meetings bcs they always end up trying to shove each other off their seats. one time jason came all the way to the manor, walked in, shot dick in the face with a water pistol, and then went back home to crime alley without saying a word. the first time red hood was asked to join the jla for a briefing on the watchtower nightwing ended up sumo-slamming him into the table and the entire jl were so freaked out by the uncharacteristic crash out that they thought nightwing was compromised by mind control, only for batman to tiredly inform them that it was because red hood had just messaged nightwing in the family groupchat that he ‘looked like a little bitch with that new haircut’.

theyre assholes with a baffling childhood bond let them act like it

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the bat and the signal or something idk

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Ghost Jay and Bruce - Ghost Jay witnessing how fucked up Bruce got after his death. And accepting how people move on (or as they seem to).

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 of Ghost Jason series

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Ghost Jason and Timmy - definition of best friends

I think I made too many people cry in the previous post so something wholesome this time:))

Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 of Ghost Jason series

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Ghost Jason and Dickiebird - featuring ghost!jason vs. hallucination!jason, the power of chilidogs, and dick confronting the robins about their secret meeting.

Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 of Ghost Jason Series

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Ghost!jason and Damian - definition of enemies to bros. From jason rightfully haunting damian's spoiled ass, to teaching the robin way, to a ghost mourning party.

Part 5 | Part 6 of Ghost Jason Series

AN: are we close to the end of the ghost Jason series??