ichbins3rgey

[ichbins3rgey]

today we were with friends on the train going home from school and one grown ass man was verbally attacking us and was extremely rude and hateful. he called my friend b*tch and told her to keep sitting after the train stopped on last station because he wanted to hurt her so we quickly left by another door witch weren't blocked by him.

[ichbins3rgey]

to introduce myself;

I'm mentally ill and diagnosed with few stuff

$h + 3d + vent posts on this acc

I'm really paranoid and overthink a lot

I have a lack of communication skills

I like nature and animals especially birds (wild ones and even my parrot)

I have several hyperfixations, my main one is my ushanka

I like cartoons (mostly the old ones), Союзмультфильм, Sanrio(hello kitty), bratři v triku

don't send me m34nsp0s, n$fw and p0яn

don't be rude to me, I suspect anyone from everything

[ichbins3rgey]

I just have a hand tattoo but I want to get more. the tattooist told me it's hard to tattoo on my hand because there is "not much space"

Tattoospø!!

I’ve always wanted tattoos so these are a big motivation for me❤️ (Dm for removal)

[ichbins3rgey]

Just a reminder that having an ed doesn't make it okay for you to bodyshame people or hate on people that choose recovery, if you do things like that pls do not interact

[ichbins3rgey]

legs going better brrrrrrrrrr

[ichbins3rgey]

b0dich3x//r1b$

they're finally at least a bit visible

maybe if I wasn't damn sitting like that it would be better

[ichbins3rgey]

Vent

you know what is funny? I have 3d simply because I want to hvг7 myself. I am S3|f d3$trvctiv€. Not allowing myself things is punishment for my existence.

I've been 4lc0h0li¢ but did quit last spring or maybe even the last last summer? I don't even know already because I'm lost in time.

I've quit simply because I had a small sparkle in my life but it got ruined and I wanted to get back to dr1nk1ng so bad but my punishment was to not do it and suffer rawly without 4lc0h0|.

it's not discipline, I repeat it. It's punishment.

in summer I'm walking with a short sleeved shirt showing my s3lf h4rм $¢ar$ as if it was natural and everyone had it. I'm walking like this not caring what others think and even if they do, it's not my business if they judge or look weirdly at me.

I've been weird my whole life and I'm not ashamed of it.

My younger self wasn't ashamed of being themselves as well so why should I now be ashamed just because I'm older and I understand that my actions make reactions and reactions make backwashes that I can't turn back and can't reset.

I also have stretch marks and I don't shave my fucking skin. I'm not a primadona. i don't Force anyone to look at me and those fuckers who say it is unhygienic, you should remember that this social norm was made by company that wanted to sell more razor blades.

you probably have ever called razor blade Gillette or maybe in your leanguage it even is called Gillette/gillet/gilletka etc etc.

Unhygienic body hair is that body hair you don't wash. and you should wash your body everyday so it is not the hair that is unhygienic, lack of hygiene is unhygienic.

those social norms are what makes people feel dysmorphic and not be the best version of themselves. weight, colour of your skin, the hair type of yours, teeth, body proportions, differences... it is capitalist social norms that want you to feel bad so they can sell you products so "fix yourself"

they offer you junk food and food that doesn't even deserve to be called food but trash so then they can make ads and propaganda where they offer you plans how to lose weight, how to look better and "fix" yourself. where they show you the "only good version" of how humans should look.

where they show you trends on how your hair, body, preferences, nails, skin, teeth, eyelashes nor even eyebrows should look so you could deserve a tiny bit of appreciation.

They are explicitly showing you you're unlovable for how you look just because they want you to spend time and money on fixing something that is not even important. They want you to hate others who don't go with those Norms as well. They want to make social war and discrimination to not allow you being yourself.

They want you to hate that person who was Thief but they didn't tell you they were neglected as a child and had to fight for every piece of bread because their parents were alcoholic and couldn't enjoy life because of fake made society's pressure on how they should earn money and work work work.

Maybe their dream was having a small house and a lovely garden full of flowers but all what capitalism gave them was a small apartment and two jobs from morning to night to survive and they couldn't bear it.

They want you to hate that person who has crooked or vampire teeth and they say that only poor, drug addicts and unlovable people have such smiles that aren't allowed to smile.

they want you to hate your body because they want you to spend money in the gym and fake healthy food where on packaging is written in the big font "HIGH PROTEIN" "LOW FAT" but they don't tell you anymore how workers, animals and nature suffered from that ultra processed fake food that actually isn't so healthy as soon as you look on back of the package and read the ingredients.

oh and if you decide to not eat at all, they start to write "BIO" here so you will feel like you're doing something good by eating bio shit but hey it's still full of chemicals, only difference is that they add only the "necessary" ones here, for example pesticides and polish so it will be prettily shiny and ready to be bitten in.

you may think you should change your look, but for who? sure you can express yourself as you want and you should have full right on doing so but if you're doing it so you will be more accepted. remember that it's a fake social norm.

they "love" you just because you're trying to fit in. they're scared of change. they don't want to date you for your personality, they want to own your body as if it was a trophy. "look I got a person who fits well in social norms!" they think, Yet they just got someone who is insecure about their body and existence, soft hearted, maybe broken or dead inside, but still deserving of love, deserving of being accepted and respected and not just being taken as an object.

People have different preferences. Someone loves chubby people, someone loves tiny, tall or just beings that aren't even identifying as people anymore, who are alt, weird, silly, smart, soft, cute, lovely, honest...

you deserve to be loved by people who will love you truly, who will fall in love with you even through just writing and won't reject you for how you look because they already love your heart and brain. They love the real you.

by trying to change yourself, you're not being the person who you truly are. you're being a fake version of someone. you're being a fake human who will meet only other fake humans and will never match hearts nor thoughts.

you deserve to be loved the way you are without having to change anything on you.

that you're unhealthy doesn't matter you don't deserve love.

that you're mentally ill doesn't mean you don't deserve love.

that you're not funny or happy or you don't clean your room doesn't mean you don't deserve love

[ichbins3rgey]

my existence in the door reflection

[ichbins3rgey]

i would be a Rammstein parent!

du du hast du hast mich du hast mich der frag

@mothercain

[ichbins3rgey]

why do people act like they have tomorrow to love you

[ichbins3rgey]

B0d|ch€k

[ichbins3rgey]

Source details and larger version.

It all connects: vintage skeleton imagery.

[ichbins3rgey]

me

[ichbins3rgey]

i h@73 it here so fffv¢k1n much

[ichbins3rgey]

i really should recover

[ichbins3rgey]

tuff asf

[ichbins3rgey]

this pic should be a real pic of me in my room and in my brain