imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

Well said

An Open Letter to the ASPD community

Hi,

So I've been asked to comment on a little issue, that I absolutely agree needs adressing, and I thought that an open letter format might be the best way of doing it! It allows for a bit more freedom with wordings, because this is just my personal letter to the community and not me trying to speak for everyone.

I've been one of the first few accounts that started talking about ASPD here on instagram (and was actively involved on twitter and tumblr before that), so I've been part of the community for a pretty long time and have seen it grow and change a lot! We have overall been able to make a pretty substantial amount of people aware of the stigma that we face, have shown them a lot of different examples as to why we developed our condition and continue to broaden the diversity of the ASPD experience.

But just like with any community, we have some internal issues, that yes sometimes we do actually have to adress and then reflect on!

These issues aren't instagram specific and I actually see them less on instagram than in other places like the ASPD subreddits, tiktok and tumblr, but as I have indeed been receiving DMs with this type of stuff ever since I started here, I do want to use my presence on this platform to adress it!

These mentioned DMs usually consist of a stranger telling me, that I cannot have ASPD, because I do not fit their personal idea of what ASPD looks like. They tell me its because I am too soft, because my aesthetic is too cute, because I love stuffed animals, because I care about sharks, because I experience some emotions intensely, because I am in recovery, because I talk positively about my family, or because I struggle with things that "real people with ASPD" would not struggle with.

I'll be entirely honest with you: its tiring and also a little confusing to me, because is this not what we are trying to do on here? To make people with ASPD seem more like humans than monsters? To educate about the symptoms & dangers yes, but to also point out that next to that we are people living our everyday lifes, just like everyone else?

Are we not trying to fight against the stigma painting us as inherently emotionless evil criminals? Are we not trying to bring more awareness to the diversity of how ASPD can present itself in someone? Are we not trying to teach society, that certain traits do not mean we are inherently something and to understand that we are capable of being their friends, partners, neighbours and parents?

I confess myself confused, because I thought we had moved past this ridiculous belief, that everyone with ASPD has as many emotions as a brick and that we only have two destined life paths: gang boss or prison inhabitant. Do you not feel ridiculous when you preach you are a human being capable of living life, just to turn around and tell someone who is doing exactly that, that they can't have ASPD?

Do you not realize that you are judging them based on the same ableist beliefs you have been judged under all your life? Because if you do not realize that, oh boy, do I get you, oh boy do I understand you, because I did not either. I spend such a large amount of my life thinking that I had to be that monster everyone saw in me, that I had no chance at an actually nice life, that I was destined to just rot in prison and be the thing everyone hates. I denied myself my dreams, my emotions, my hobbies, my true beliefs and personality leanings, heck I denied myself certain versions of my future, because I thought that I could not be that. That it was impossible for people with ASPD to be in happy relationships, to study at university, to have a favourite animal that means the world to them, to rekindle their relationship to their family...

And isn't that sad? Isn't it sad how I thought that I had to deny myself happiness, just because that is what societies stigma tried to tell me? I think that it is quite sad actually and I kinda hate that so many people with ASPD still seem to be caught up in that. I mean I haven't shaken it entirely, thats for sure! I still despise showing weakness and having to admit to it! I still have internalized stuff to work trough! But do you know what I'm not doing?

I am not going around telling others that they can't be happy. I am not going around telling others that them being in recovery & living their lifes means they don't have ASPD or that they misrepresent the community. I am not trying to shame them back into their bad habits. I am not trying to make them feel so insecure about their diagnosis, that they fall back into their old patterns. Because I know better now.

I know that people with ASPD can be the cutest softest animal loving people.

I know that they can be in healthy relationships and friendships.

I know that they can have hobbies, a career and a family.

I know that they can feel emotions, some of them really intense, others maybe not so much.

I know that no person with ASPD is the exact same as the other.

I know that they can choose recovery & be sucessfull in it.

And I know that my own dislike for "weakness" and my own discomfort with the sides of myself that I have been taught to despise, are not an excuse to make other people feel bad about themselves & take that dislike/discomfort out on them.

Theres just one question that remains: Do you know that as well and if yes, are you ready to act like it?

~ Liam 🦈

Out of letter end note:

Trying to insist that people with ASPD have to adhere to the descriptions that you connect to them & telling them that they cannot ever change, is discouraging them from recovery.

Telling people with ASPD, that they cannot have emotions, is directly ignoring the DSM criteria point that recognizes aggressive outbursts, as well as ignoring the literal emotional erractic cluster it is in (aka Cluster B).

Claiming that a trauma based condition dictates your interests, what colors & animals you are allowed to like, your personality traits outside of your condition, which aesthetic you have to have on social media and what type of clothes you are allowed to wear is frankly so ridiculous, that I don't even know what to say.

You are not immune to internalized ableism & making people feel unsafe in the community. You do not personally have to like the things they do, but being shitty to them about it, just because its what you internalized is not the way to go.

First posted on my instagram (same @)

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

(Smite narc abuse truthers with a hammer)

Idk as a pwASPD I like breaking stuff I pretty much wanna hurt or break stuff all the time so I found it helps just doing it but in a more controlled environment?

I don’t have a rage room or anything I just go outside to a certain secluded spot and take things with me to break with a baseball bat or something.

I guess its just calming and satisfying to me.

Otherwise in just kinda avoiding triggers.

Would it not be cool if we could have a post with none ableist tips for how to navigate life with NPD and/or ASPD.

So give me your best tips on how to live with ASPD and/or NPD.

(narc abuse truthers will be banned on sight.)

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

💯

Have you ever noticed how narcissist society is to childhood trauma survivors. I don't mean narcissistic in a NPD way but vast majority of destructive behavior cause by childhood trauma is 100% avoidable if society would just protect childern.

Your the fucking reason people with NPD have a hard time taking responsibility for there actions.

Your the fucking reason people with ASPD don't respect the rights of others.

Your the reason people with BPD are controlling and have fear of abandonment issues

Your the reason many serial killers existed to begin with.

Your the reason why people are sex repulsed or hypersexual.

You the fucking reason system with alter exist in the first.

But whenever there are consequences in society people will come out of wood work to redirect responsibility away from society. You are not a self contained Indevaul, you are cog in a machine the hurt children on a systematic level.

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

❗️❗️❗️

ATTENTION ALL AMERICANS

If you enjoy or have possession of “woke” media, remember that if a republican wins this year then all of that great media will be considered child porn, isn’t that great?

One. If you enjoy things repubs consider “woke”, I would vote blue so you don’t get executed

Two. Just incase one WOULD win,

TREAT “WOKE” MEDIA LIKE GOLD

If you find some buy it, If you are in possession of it hide it. Use a flash drive for digital stuff. I swear to GOD please.

This includes queer, poc, and anything that republicans won’t like.

(ps, for queers it won’t matter if you have this stuff, you’ll probably get arrested anyway)

You read that right! Removing WHAT terms???? WHAT will be considered child pornography?????

This is NOT just transgender people in trouble, this is every person who would be considered woke, aka ANY GAY PERSON, so STOP infighting because we are BOTH going down. They may use trans people as a cover up, but if you ACTUALLY read it its all of us.

SPREAD THIS

Edit: now this is getting traction, I must add that this is a definite call to action to try to make it not happen and PLAN if it does! I also wanted other people to DOCUMENT all quuer and poc media so that it isn’t destroyed, thanks

-a minor who knows their damn history

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

This is very interesting

ASPD Resource Dump

feel free to reblog! here are some resources related to ASPD that i've collected since i've being diagnosed (roughly 5 years).

Sympathetic Articles

An Autistic Sociopath's Story, Cassy, through Special Books by Special Kids (video. an autistic pwASPD talks about her life and experiences with both.)

An Interview with a Sociopath, Dyshae, through Special Books by Special Kids (video. a pwASPD and bipolar disorder talks about his life and experiences with both.)

Life With Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), Andrew, through mind.org.uk (a pwASPD's account of their life and experiences with it.)

The Hidden Suffering of the Psychopath, William H. J. Martens, MD, PhD (a sympathetic view of pwASPD, and some information on the neurobiology of ASPD.)

Factors for Development

Antisocial personality disorder in abused and neglected children grown up., B. K. Luntz, C. S. Widom (from 1994. provides evidence supporting the fact that child abuse/neglect is a predictor of antisocial behavior.)

Antisocial Personality Disorder with Childhood- vs Adolescence-Onset Conduct Disorder, Risë B. Goldstein et al. (from 2006. discusses how symptoms vary in pwASPD whose conduct disorder began in childhood vs in adolescence.)

Predictors of antisocial personality: Continuities from childhood to adult life, Emily Simonoff et al. (from 2018. draws connections between childhood behaviors, diagnoses, etc., and antisocial behavior in adulthood.)

Risk Factors in Childhood That Lead to the Development of Conduct Disorder and Antisocial Personality Disorder, Stacey E. Holmes, James R. Slaughter, Javad Kashani (from 2001. covers multiple categories that may lead to development of CD and/or ASPD, including environment, genetics, and individual differences.)

Miscellaneous Articles

Antisocial Personality Disorder: Neurophysiological Mechanisms and Distinct Subtypes, Sean J. McKinley (from 2018. proposes three diagnostic subtypes for ASPD: primarily detached, primarily disinhibited, and combined.)

Executive function, attention, and memory deficits in antisocial personality disorder and psychopathy, Michael Baliousis et al. (from 2019. discusses some neurobiology of ASPD, and how it effects executive function, attention, and memory.)

Self-mutilation in antisocial personality disorder, M. Virkkunen (from 1976. reports on self-injury behaviors in pwASPD, and details their motivations.)

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

Putting “narcissists” there takes away from the abuse.

Narcissism doesn’t equal abuse.

If you experienced trauma at the hands of an abuser you may have a high tolerance for bad behavior. Learn boundaries.

You could have just as easily said that. The use of the word "narcissist" serves no purpose.

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

Tw: aspd stigma and some ableism

“I’m not demonizing anything”

Yeah right

This is so wrong on so many levels I don’t have the words for it

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

I came into contact with the paraphilia tags and I discovered a thing or 2 about myself.

I thought I was just asexual, but this could complicate things.

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

The empty spot next to “thank you” 💀

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

Yes please, shout at me 🙏

Shoutout to all of the mental disorders where the tags are flooded by people who hate those with said disorder (NPD, BPD, ASPD, HPD, pathological lying, IED, etc.) It's messed up and you deserve better

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

I feel like its difficult to comment on a persons post where they are spouting “narc abuse” or other “cluster B abuse” bullshit.

The problem lies very much that usually those post have more pull, followers and support.

Your comment gets drowned out, ignored or backlash.

Rarely would there be someone be entertaining your comment and start a “fair” discussion.

Even creating your own safe spaces, their “safe space” would always be on the majority often overlapping with ours too.

Idk I guess im just very annoyed by these people.

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

Need more eyes for my banner

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

Oh wow I feel like this is so well put.

Amazing 🤩

I saw this in the "narcissistic abuse" tag as evidence that narcissistic abuse is real.

My family member doesn't know why he gets backlash for his actions, he didn't know why everyone was angry when he tried to hit me with his car to blow off steam from misplacing his bottle of multivitamins.

If you seriously believe that "they don't understand why they get backlash for their actions" is a pattern that only narcissists have, then you must live under a rock.

Police officers openly declare that they have the right to murder people for disobeying them then are shocked when people don't like them.

Parents spank their children, berate them, and otherwise treat them like property then are shocked when their children grow up and want nothing to do with them.

Men who call themselves "nice guys" regularly treat women like shit then are shocked when women don't like them.

Bosses openly insist that they're supposed to only care about profit then are shocked when their employees only care about getting paid. Bosses openly declare that paying poverty wages is okay because the employees agreed to it then are shocked and whine "no one wants to work anymore" when their employees stop agreeing to it.

Ableists insist that they're helping disabled people while ignoring disabled people who tell them that they're not helping (supporters of Autism Speaks or ABA, those who promote unconditional positivity, those who want to help personally but refuse to support helping on a societal level) then are shocked when disabled people are angry.

Society has been terrorizing black people for centuries yet people are shocked by the protests.

Conservatives regularly advocate for policies that harm minorities then are shocked and whine about "censorship" when people don't like them.

And on the topic of hitting people with cars, there are literally people openly advocating for legalizing hitting protesters with their cars.

And ironically, people who believe in "narcissistic abuse" are guilty of this too. They regularly demonize narcissists then are shocked when people call them ableist.

The only difference between a narcissistic abuser and a non-narcissistic abuser is that a narcissist will abuse anyone while a non-narcissist is careful to make sure they only abuse socially acceptable targets.

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

They be really using sociopaths and Aspd interchangeably ffs

I don’t have the words to describe how much that pisses me off

(Image Description: Top Image: A search where someone has typed “how to deal with ASPD”, the search engine suggestion below says the same.

Bottom image: a preview of an article from psychcentral.com titled “Coping With Sociopaths (Antisocial Personality Disorder)”. The preview says “Going no contact is a “game changer” when it comes to relationships with sociopaths. The manipulative input can longer come your way when you stop…”. End of Image Description)

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

On on more positive note for this blog… I got a big bag of m&ms from my job.

Yay

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

I don’t know how to say this properly (this is a vent post I guess) so feel free to correct me, but

If someone says they know enough about “sociopathy” then that kinda shows they know nothing about “sociopathy”.

Cuz why the fuck are they still saying “sociopath”, huh?

Also being abused by a “narcissist” and “sociopath” doesn’t give anyone a free pass on using diagnoses as an insult (Doesn’t that make it a slur?)

I will also doubt the validity of that claim.

[imgoingtomakeproblemsonpurpose]

So I’ve run into a discussion about what could be counted as neurodivergent and if Cluster Bs (NPD, ASPD, HPD and BPD u know the jizz)

Ofcoures you start this kinda discussions with : “But what is Neurodivergence? (ND)”

Most common answer would be: “Brain build different from ‘’norm’’”.

And with that I would say: “Well then we could count Cluster Bs are ND, cuz there are studies on differences in brain”

(I’m not a brain scientist, I don’t actually know the validity of those studies)

A bunch of others say: “No, cuz the difference is Cluster B (this one was specifically talking about BPD and NPD is emotion-based therefore it don’t count”.

(No sources given, and I couldn’t really find anything substantial myself)

I take the last statement with a grain of salt, but I don’t wanna dismiss it entirely, cuz I simply don’t know it for sure.

Hoping other people have more insight on this.