littlbee - Tumblr blog

[littlbee]

i hate nerves and anxiety. oh nooo i am scared of acting like a weird bitch to remedy this i will act like a weird bitch

[littlbee]

why does every meal ever have 2 involve carbs why can’t i just never eat carbs ever again

[littlbee]

[littlbee]

hi, it’s bee again <3 i am back babey !!! looking for new edblr moots :3

intro-

✿ 19 yrs, they/them

✿ queer

✿ obsessed w nutrition, the band los campesinos, going 2 the gym, & summer fruits

✿ 🍃 smoker

✿ in college 4 poetry, philosophy, & psych/soci (though potentially moving into nutrition/dieteics !!)

✿ not new 2 the world of eds

! not pro ed ! just using this space to vent & cope. if you’re triggered by my content please dni/block me ! i want you to stay safe <3

tw - sharing stats below

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hw: 160

cw: 116

gw: 113

ugw: 99

h: 5’6”

cbmi: 18.5

[littlbee]

it’s me n her against the world

[littlbee]

[littlbee]

i hate winter bc i would kill for some watermelon rn.

[littlbee]

[littlbee]

losing weight is easy for me. losing weight is easy for me. losing weight is easy for me.

fat just melts off me. fat just melts off me. fat just melts off me.

food is disgusting to me. i am never tempted and never give in. food is disgusting to me. i am never tempted and never give in.

my body is tiny, breakable.

i am perfect.

i am thin.

[littlbee]

i need to get worse. when i go home for break, i need everyone to SEE how sick i am. i need to be thinner. to be frail, breakable. scary.

maybe they’ll take me seriously then.

[littlbee]

my reasons

to have an hourglass figure

to be able to wrap my hands around my waist

so my partner can hold me like a fragile thing

so my stomach shrinks and i get full easily

to not seem fat when having a treat or eating a lot

to not eat more than everyone around me

to wear smalls. and extra smalls.

to wear size zero jeans

to have dainty & thin poet's hands

to always gravitate towards the healthy choice

so i'm educated on nutrition

to have thin thighs

to have a thigh gap

for all my old clothes to be loose

to look pretty in skirts and dresses

to look small when wearing oversized things

to have people notice my weight loss

"oh my god, go eat a sandwich or something!"

to be associated with gatorade zero

to be a lightweight when i drink

to sit on my partner's lap without crushing them

to be the same size as my partner

to share clothes with my partner

so people will joke about picking me up

to be pretty

to feel light

to have a flat stomach naturally

to get dizzy when i stand up

to always be a little bit cold and have people offer their jackets

to be able to resist the munchies

to be able to do the wrist check easily

so people will ask me "how i did it"

so people will take my sadness seriously

“you never eat!”

+ constantly updating

[littlbee]

i know i’m complicated to be around but like ??? my disorder is not my fault ??? can the people in my life please stop treating it like it’s something i can just snap out of oh my god

[littlbee]

i’m so so close to my first gw but i just keep. binging. i was .4 away two days ago. now i’m back to 131.

it’s so frustrating to constantly hover at the same weight. i just want to get this over with.

[littlbee]

i think the devil himself decided there was gonna be ~100 cals for a shot of vodka.

oh you’re in college and wanna go to a party like a normal person ? how abt we make getting drunk cost over 500 cals just :) for fun :)

[littlbee]

at work they gave us t-shirts and i grabbed the last small. when there were 3 other way smaller and prettier people behind me.

i feel sick. i feel so stupid. why the fuck did i think i deserve a small.

everyone behind me probably thought i was SO funny. this pig really thinks she can fit into a small?

i wanna throw up. i feel like shit.

[littlbee]

thank god for soft boiled eggs

[littlbee]

the HOLD this picture has on me hhhholy

to be held like this >>>>>>>>>>>