rais-messy-thought

[rais-messy-thought]

sooooo full disclosure im at my highest and I hate it here omfg. according to the bmi scale, im over. I wanna get back. I wanna get worse. does that make me a bad person?

[rais-messy-thought]

guys what if I took my sleeping meds xtra late so I sleep more tmr and 34t less

[rais-messy-thought]

i want back in the honeymoon phase

any tips or recs?

[rais-messy-thought]

i dont wanna be here anymore. it so fcking hard to just exist. i rel4psed. eatting habits are shit. no energy and no sleep. it hasnt been this bad in years and i know it will pass like everything else but like that i also know it will come back again and i dont want to. i cant. i just want to be held but i cant even allow myself beacuse i feel unworthy. im sorry.

blessed be💜

[rais-messy-thought]

my church is having thanksgiving dinner today and all i plan to have is fruit and veggies. if theres is anything grilled and NOT fried i might have some protein but im not banking on it

as always blessed be💜

[rais-messy-thought]

new gw

starting back small bc i lost so much defication and motivation and i HAVE to fine it again

currently 160

gw 145

time frame 1 month

daily limit 1k

wish me luck

blessed be💜💜💜

[rais-messy-thought]

soooo i now share a room with a kid and im trying really hard to not let her see just how bad my relationship with food is. also just bought a walking pad so i 100% have no excuse to not be hitting my step goals

current-160

gw1-155

ugw-120 (healthy w31ght slightly under)

[rais-messy-thought]

little life update i guess

fall semester starts in tuesday and I am moving work positions so i wont be in the kitchen anymore!!!! this means i can pack my lunch now and have more control over 1ntake!! It also means that i have more free time in the evenings and can go on walks and work out without worrying about something happening. im also going on a cruise soon and will be able to avoid elevators and just use the steps.

im so excited for the amount of control ill be gaining.

as always dms are open and tips are welcome. Blessed be💜

[rais-messy-thought]

i ate too much fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

i feel so nasty whyd i eat that much

dad wants to go out for dinner how do i avoid that

excuses dont fucking work for them they dont fucking care fuck FUCK what do i do

[rais-messy-thought]

hey hey, so while i havent been able to stop myself from b1ng3s recently, i DID just buy Just Dance 2024 and plus. gonna start bringing my switch to work and dancing on my lunch breaks!! i also plan to start slowly uping my f45ting times and lowering my intake!! ugh ik this is wierd to say but im so excited!!

as always- dms open and blessed be!💜💜

[rais-messy-thought]

someone from work brought donuts and when i tell u i felt so fucking guilty eating one but couldnt stop myself from eating 3 more?! fucking WEAK of me! anyway im gonna do a minimum 24 hr fast now (only water and 0 cal drinks allowed) lucky thats all i 8 today if i can get by with it i may just not eat tomorrow 🤷

as always- lmk of any tips dms are always open!

blessed be💜

[rais-messy-thought]

RE-BLOG IF….

- You FULLY support recovery and WANT people to recover.

- You think people should AVOID “@na coaches” AT ALL COSTS.

-You are against “f@t-sp0” . (becosue it’s just down right wrong.)

[rais-messy-thought]

reblog if you wore lip gloss today

or

if you ate more than your kcal limit

and don't say which of the two

[rais-messy-thought]

weighed this morning and finally broke 130. not by much but being under is being under🤷

but i cant see any differences- my thighs are still fucking huge and my stomach is still big, ive taken to wrapping my fingers around my arm and thighs and i cant even wrap them around my mid forearm!!

ughhh

im on hr 37 of a fast and the only things ive had with a bit of calories is coffee and thats only because i know i can walk all of it off in less than an hour🥲

as always dms are open for tips or motivation hope yall are having a good day💜

[rais-messy-thought]

ngl i kinda miss being a student. now that i dont have hw to occupy my thoughts i actually think about food and its so much harder. ofc i have work but that doesnt help a lot. ive been trying to fill time with stuff and tbh its not helping!! dm me with ideas??

[rais-messy-thought]

-some stuff bout me

sw- 174

cw- 140

cgw- 130

height- 5'6"

ive been very lax on restricting, working out, and fasting and tbh i just want some motivation to pick back up. going on a cruise in 2.5 weeks and have to lose by then.

dms are open for tips or comments.

[rais-messy-thought]

on day 12 of the diet and litterally havent lost anything, i tgink ive actually gained and fuck me for that. fr tho ive followed all the rules so wtf is wrong with me??!?!?

any ideas feel free to dm me please help