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[shespoly]

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[shespoly]

I haven't posted in so long. I've forgotten how important words are to me.... Need to change that asaply!

Dont forget your inner voice. It deserves to be heard!

[shespoly]

I try to stay in the moment 

and enjoy all of you. 

When you catch me watching you, 

you always ask “what?" 

I can never really answer you. 

I’m just trying to soak all of you 

in before this moment fades.

[shespoly]

Treasure the ones who seek to find you when you're hiding from the world.

Shespoly

[shespoly]

Forgive, Not Forget

I once loved you with a fierceness so radiant

I doubted my own heart.

But you shoved it back down my throat.

I choked on hatred and spite you redirected

From yourself to me.

I watched as you ripped my spine through my mouth.

I howled at your back as you left me to crumble.

Do you remember me dying?

Suffocating on your hostile poison while I

Gasped for your affections to save me?

You must have forgotten.

You’re dripping in nectar as though you didn’t kill me.

But I am not a girl that forgets,

Who pretends that your words never blackened my soul.

I will not forget

Fouls of our past just because

Time has passed.

No.

Those days were spent trying to restore my heart from your damage

I will not forget

That you're the one who strangled me, left me bruised,

Blamed me for your crimes.

I will not forget

That I was a casualty of your darkness.

You did that.

You are the one

Who ground my heart to dust with your bare hands.

Do you think time itself is enough to erase my blood from your skin??

My dearest Heartbreaker…

Have you forgotten what you did to me??

[shespoly]

I’ve always been a little too in love with the broken parts of dying souls.

V.I.P.P. (via vacantinkandprettypink)

[shespoly]

You turn my pages gently, hold me soft like your favorite novel.

My dear sweet reader...

You make me want to tell stories I thought I never could.

Shespoly

[shespoly]

Absence

Absence may make hearts fonder.

But being away from you, not being able to see you, to touch you...

It makes my spirit ache against this icy winter.

I know where you are, yet it feels as though you have departed on an unspoken journey. I am anxiously waiting for you to return home. A helpless damsel is my role in this story. With bated breath, watching snow fall, I count the hours until you come back to me.

How peculiar it is… to think my home is incomplete without your presence warming the halls, without your soothing voice in my ears, without your reassuring arms around my waist.

Even though absence makes hearts grow fonder…

This abrasive winter filled with alabaster snow is too frigid to have your warmth absent.

This desiring heart is much too saddened from the daunting task of missing you.

[shespoly]

Hey everyone!! I’d love if you would check out this YouTube channel and subscribe!!

[shespoly]

You are like Rain

You ask me what I think about you.

I avert my eyes, my words and mouth failing me. Because I don’t have an explanation… I don’t have the right words to describe you.

No. What I see, what I feel are tones and vibrations too beautiful for words.

Your aura is a turquoise wave filled with specks of marigold and honey, vibrating in magnetic pulses all around you. It draws me in, pulls me close, ignites my curiosity… And my fears. A tempting cobalt blaze my hands are aching to touch, to embrace. Are you safe for me to give in to your gravity? Is your fire made of warming, inspiring energy?

Or will I simply be burned once again as I fall for the beauty of sparks and flames?

You are like rain. A constant cascade of life-giving water. I am calm in your presence, lost in the steady gaze of your hickory toned eyes. And so easily, I forget the pains of falling for someone. I forget the hidden bruises that I don’t want to show. Your attention, your sensitivity to my every move, pours down in tantalizing waves as if from the sky itself, sweet kisses from clouds to Earth. You are gentle and soft as you speak, as you watch me… as I watch you, enraptured by the capability of your storm.

So, no… there are no words to describe… how looking at you makes me feel as if I’m floating on tranquil thunderstorms…

I see you in colors that swirl in front of my eyes. I feel you in vibrations that pulse around my heart.

And your presence seems to take me… to another dimension… full of boundless possibilities.

[shespoly]

Love this!

maybe if you had loved her louder  she wouldn’t have succumbed  to the monsters screaming in her head, but love has never been and will never be a sound barrier. love is quiet, a whisper at best, something to get you through the silent moments when you are only with yourself  and I wish I could say that it could slay  your demons, capture your haunts- it can’t. It wouldn’t be love if it were so rough.

- love as the damsel and not the knight || O.L.

[shespoly]

Intimidation

I don’t know what to do with this… this feeling of being inadequate, yet completely wanted. There’s patience in your gaze, in your sway as you walk about my spaces as though you know you belong. You are no stranger… but you are so new. Like a maze I can complete with the tender brush of deja vu.

And this is... different.

Because you don’t need me. You have no cracks that need filling, no woes or pains that beg for telling. You don’t need me to listen to your troubles. You only want to know mine. You want my stories, my words, my thoughts all the time. And of the things in life I freely give… my words, my words, my words… that’s what you want to hear.

But, my God, that’s the scariest thing for me to share.

Yes. You intimidate me.

Your touch, your voice, your confidence... How are you so certain? How is it that when you look at me I feel penetrated before we even begin? You’ve thought about this. You’ve already planned the ways in which you want to explore me. And you’re calm in your process, your mapped-out expeditions stored and vaulted in a mind that is more fluid than my expectations. You’ve surprised me, my curiosity now piqued in ways I was not prepared to ravage me so abruptly. Out of nowhere, just like the way we met.

And this is different.

Because I’m trying hard to not push away a good thing, out of fears developed from a previous bad. I’m trying to swallow down the enchanting hopes I once had. But I sense your patience, your persistence as you watch, as you wait, as you absorb and learn my tendencies. I’m not used to this insistence.

Yes. You intimidate me. But maybe, just maybe… that’s a wonderful thing.

[shespoly]

Silly, modern day romance. You've taught us to love based on conditions... instead of from our hearts. Then leave us lost, wondering why relationships don't last.

shespoly

[shespoly]

It’s not me, it’s you. I am not going to sit here and pretend the problem was me when very clearly it was you. You don’t get to treat me like I am nothing but a fire you need to warm your hands by only to douse it out when the time has come to leave. I am not a glass of water for you to drink from and throw the rest into the sink. You don’t get to spread a wildfire in my heart and burn this forest I have tended so carefully to the ground and walk away with a slap on the wrist like “it’s not you, it’s me”. I am better than that, I am the healing you desperately needed but chose not to see. So forgive me for saying what needs to be said here, it was unequivocally, a hundred percent you, not an ounce of this was on me.

Nikita Gill, It’s Not Me, It’s You

[shespoly]

If only...

[shespoly]

[shespoly]

Close your eyes

Close your eyes. It will be over in a moment.

Don’t think about the time, the pain searing between your legs as he thrusts. Smack, smack, smack against your hip bones like a feral dog. Don’t move. Don’t think about how this could be wrong. Just pretend. Only for a moment. Just give it a moment.

This is how you show him you love him. That you care. This is how you show your devotion. He will believe you after this. He won’t doubt you anymore.

Don’t listen to your head as it says, you thought this last time. Don’t feel the ache in your chest as your lungs burn with the need to scream, your eyes dry from wanting to burst away with tears. Pant, pant, pant, his breath leaks out hot against your cheek as you turn your face to look at the time, to look away from his preying eyes.

In, out, in, out, in, out, in. Thump, thump, thump, against your skin. You watch as the clock turns from 11:31 to 11:32 to 11:33. You don’t move. Thump, thump, thump, against your carcass as he grunts, as he sweats, as his hands claw sharp into your skin like a vulture. Leaving his mark. Say nothing. Be silent. Don’t distract him. Don’t think about the time.

Close your eyes. Just close your eyes. Just pretend. Only for a moment. Just give it a moment.

And a tear escapes, as you hope, as you pray, that the pain will end. That he will be finished. That he will love you then.

And it’s over as he hunches forward like a werewolf devouring flesh. As he spasms inside of you, slickens your reddened, scrapped walls with his exhausting release. As he kisses your neck, suddenly grateful for the body he’s pillaged beneath him. Twitch, twitch, twitch his shaft goes as he penetrates through your wall of self-worth.

And once again, you are his.

He rolls off you, finished with his meal as he scratches his warmed belly. And you shiver beside him, coated in his drying sweat, smelling of his sex-crazed scent. In. Out. Goes his slowing breath as the beast is settled for the night, drifting into a realm of sleep you don’t recognize anymore.

Just close your eyes. Just for a moment. Just ignore the pain throbbing between your thighs, the burning and bleeding. Just pretend that this is the last time. That it won’t happen tomorrow the way it happened today. The way it happened yesterday. And the day before. And before.

No. This is how you show him you love him. That you care. This is how you show your devotion. He will believe you after this.

He won’t doubt you anymore.