spider-tim

[spider-tim]

Who's going to write the Tim Drake has a Clench relapse fic? 🤔

[spider-tim]

And why hasn't Duke met Virgil yet? Bruce is friends with Jefferson, they could make that playdate happen tonight.

Unless Bruce is afraid of the potential team up...

[spider-tim]

Edward Nygma lets out a scowl, his house of cards crumbling under the force of the door hitting the wall.

Mr. Freeze doesn’t even glance up at the commotion, instead he mindlessly flips the page of his book.

Ivy, Catwoman and Harley pause their conversation.

Scarecrow stands at the door with a disbelieving expression.

“Hey?”

“That new Robin is scary.”

The Riddler shivers at the reminder of the taunts and insults. The boy was annoying and so so mean. He's the sole reason why his showers are longer. He has to plan out his next moves after all, definitely not sobbing at being bullied by a child in tights.

The sound of a book slamming shut startles Nygma. “Finally, we can talk about that brat.”

“Are we talking about the birdy tranquillizing Batsy?”

“Yes.”

Oh.

“Was anyone else stared down as he dragged that man’s unconscious body into the Batmobile?”

“Yes, it was the most terrifying experience in my life.” The Riddler bitterly adds under his breath, “He rolled down the window and called out the answer to my puzzle.”

Catwoman simply laughs. “Oh, yes. Bats definitely found a kitten with sharp teeth and claws. I remember when he jumped up behind him and just pressed a rag against his face. Such a tiny thing taking down someone as big as the bat is always so amusing."

"This new Robin is a lot more brutal and doesn't seem to hesitate to use sedation." Edward pauses. "Wait, have we been drugged by that kid before?"

No one speaks.

"I would think I'd remember if I'd been sedated before. The kid does pack a punch though," states Mr. Freeze. He has a frown on his face like he was thinking about the time he was knocked out.

"He's evil and cruel."

Ivy chuckles. "Don't tell me you're still hurt over him saying your puzzles are easy enough that a child can solve them."

"HE'S NOT SMARTER THAN ME!"

"Right," Catwoman draws out, a smirk on her face as she leans back against the couch. "And Harley doesn't use have hyenas."

Mr. Freeze huffs. "He's not that bad. Easy to talk to. Boy is smart."

"And scary. He somehow found out about my fear of dolls," Scarecrow bemoans. "He does that creepy doll walk and twitches as if he's some puppet."

"Wow. A kid scaring the big bad Scarecrow. Never thought I'd see the day."

"Shut up. Have you seen him on fear toxin? No? Let me tell you about it."

Ivy rolls her eyes. "You haven't seen him inhale my pollens yet. It's creepy. How he'll stand there silently before just lunging at you. He's like a horror movie jumpscare."

A lull in conversation has them thinking about the boy, the third child that Batman brought into his crusade.

"Should we be worried about Batsy though? I don't think being chloroformed and sedated is good for you."

"Nah. That's his karma."

Robin Tim putting Bruce to sleep with his trusty chloroform and tranquilizer. Except he’ll do it in the streets too. So if Batman goes too far, a random low tier goon gets to see Robin knock Batman out and then slowly drag his body into the batmobile before moving a car seat into the driver’s seat and driving off into the sunrise.

Robin follows all the laws of the road and honestly the goon isn’t sure if they’re more shocked about seeing Batman get taken down by someone that came up to his waist or seeing the Batmobile follow every single traffic law.

like I said before, during Tim’s early days it was Robin and Batman instead of Batman and Robin why? Cuz people saw Tim doing this kinda of thing constantly.

also ofc Tim can drive perfectly I expect nothing less from him

[spider-tim]

Even better,

Supervillain attacks:

Filipino: *shrugs* bahala na si Batman *goes on their day, walks away like it’s whatever*

Batman: *a second later, shows up and takes care of it*

Bystander 1: 0.0 did they just summon—?

Bystander 2: o.O I think so?

I feel like more people should know about the Filipino phrase bahala na si Batman. quite literally, it means it's up to Batman. on a more figurative level, it means that you're leaving something to God/fate - metaphorically represented by Batman, of course.

big event that you haven't prepared for but you're going anyway? bahala na si Batman. major exams coming up and you haven't reviewed yet? bahala na si Batman. about to do anything remotely risky/luck-based? bahala na si Batman.

anyways, I just think it's hilarious that Batman is now a part of our culture through this saying. is this a thing in other cultures/languages too? let me know!

[spider-tim]

Tim meeting Lex at a gala when he’s young. and becoming gossip besties with him

i finally wrote it after it infesting my brain enjoy

——————-

Tim thought the gala was going to be like most of the others, boring, annoying, nothing happening. And then he saw Lex Luthor. And he's a smart man, probably the only other smart person in here so why not start a conversation?

Lex thought this gala was going to be boring and a waste of time. And then this small child comes up to him talking about gossip that he didn't even know? And mentioning his incredibly secret cloning project he just started a week ago? He's going to be a villain and Lex wants to be on his good side.

————————

Tim sighed, annoyed. Gala's have always been incredibly boring, the only slightly fun things that happen at them have been either Bruce Wayne "tripping" over something and drenching someone else with whatever drink or liquid is near, or overhearing gossip, such as Robert Dewitt cheating on his wife with his brother. That was a fun day.

This gala is looking to be about the same as always, just even more boring. Bruce Wayne isn't attending (understandable, The Joker just broke out of Arkham again. He's sure there's a cover story for why Bruce isn't here but he doesn't care about that), no one is drawing attention to any scandals yet, or at least not in his ear range.

The only vaguely interesting thing here is Lex Luthor actually attending it for once. The man usually never spares a moment for anything aside from Metropolis (disgusting) and Superman. So there's at least one other smart person here but he also happens to be a super-villain (not that the general public knows) so… Not like Tim can just walk up to him and talk right?

"So as I was saying it really is quite unfortunate that your son won't take the company, I always thought he was a rather charming young man-" Fuck it Tim's gonna go talk to the super-villain.

"Have you heard about Rebecca Strawling?" Tim asks Lex, who absolutely did NOT jump at this child sneaking up behind him (seriously how did he do that? Even Superman, a man who constantly floats, can't sneak up on him.). Lex blinks for a second because, yes he had and holy shit what a thing that is, and also how does this child know? Also why is this child talking to him?

"That… Depends. What have you heard?" Lex says hesitantly. Despite Rebecca's… everything, she still hid it incredibly well. If Lex wasn't so bored at these gala's he would never have known, so either this child is just incredibly nosy, or possibly an actual smart person in this room. Either option would prove far more interesting than what he had been doing.

"Well I've heard about the several affairs she's had with everyone she claims to hate. Business rivals, the poor, queer people, her husband's family, and if it's to be believed her own family." And… Holy fuck, Lex had not been aware of that last bit. He raises an eyebrow at the ending which prompts a slight grin from the child as he takes his phone out. "I have evidence."

Does Lex actually… Enjoy being near a kid barely in the double digits? Absurd.

"You know Tim, that man over there? He's almost bankrupting his company and family by sending their money to a 'client.' I believe all his business partners are looking for someone to replace his spot." It's been an hour and a half. This is the most entertained Lex has been at one of these in decades. If Tim finds himself following the black hair, blue eyes orphan trend Lex will take him in himself so help him God. He's insanely smart, not only is he excellent at reading people and finding dirt on them easily, he's incredibly skilled at hacking without any proper training on it. This is a villain in the making and Lex will not let himself fall on his bad side.

"Now, I have a moral question for you Tim. What do you think the ethics on making a weapon out of a clone would be?" He's been toying with the idea of cloning Superman lately, however the actual… Making it a weapon has been bothering him. If it comes out an adult man it could easily decide it wants to do something else and rebel, however what would the effects be on making a child weapon that was created for that sole purpose? The effectiveness of it?

"Easy. Don't make the clone a weapon. It's either an adult clone who could choose to be a soldier, and actually listen to you, or decide it won't listen and possibly end up exposing you. If it's a child clone then sure you get a weapon for a few years but not having a choice would end up making them resent you. Give them a choice on it, just like the Sidekicks, like Robin, Kid Flash, Speedy, all them. I'd assume you would want a meta clone anyway and most meta's feel a sense of duty with their abilities so it'd be likely for them to decide something along what you want. Just a matter on if they like you and go with you, or turn to the other side." Tim answers without missing a beat and wow what a concerning sentence that would be to hear from a child if he were anyone else. As it is he's delighted by the response.

"Although cloning a Kryptonian would probably alter it, simply wouldn't get enough material so you would likely have to substitute some of the material for human and at that point use your own and raise the clone as a child." What. That's far too specific. "Oh, sorry I probably should've kept it more broad. Anyway you should update your security systems." Definitely a super-villain in the making. One that he very much wants to be on the good side of. On that note now he needs to update his whole system.

"Ah, Tim I'm glad you picked up. I'm a father now! I'd like you to meet my son, his name is Kon-El-"

"Oh, I've already met him. You actually interrupted our call. Kinda late on telling me." Of course.

"You know I could adopt you as well, get you from that bumbling buffoon that is Wayne."

"Yeah but then my crush would become incestuous." His what? Know what he can work with this. Tim is joining his family one way or another.

Finally. A moment of peace for Lex to sit down, drink some coffee, and watch a rerun of his favorite show. "Luthor!" Oh great, the boy scout here to ruin his plans. Oh and is that his group for comic-con? There's the man of steel himself, Wonder Woman, Batman and… Wait. Oh this will piss Kal-El off to be ignored.

"Timothy! I was just about to call you. You remember Robert Dewitt, correct? You'll never guess what he's done now." Lex grins, standing up. He was meaning to update Tim on this particular… Creature. He's one of their favorites to catch up on, purely because of the absurdity of his debauchery. Although this time does have a reason, after all there's reason for dear old Robert to get locked up this time and he's been making some comments about Lex lately and well he can't just let that slide now can he?

Tim blinks for a second then realizes what Lex just said. "Wait you know? Of course you do why wouldn't you.. Actually wait that doesn't matter what the fuck did Robert do? Last I knew he wasn't allowed outside without an escort so I was expecting longer." Lex has a feeling it does in fact matter very much if the way Batman's eyes narrow and his jaw clench indicate anything. Lex needs to continue on or possibly get put in a hospital.

"Oh he's no longer allowed near animal shelters, so-" Kal-El cuts him off, incredibly rudely if he might add.

"What… What is going on here?" Poor man sounds so confused. Lex is savoring this moment.

"Well I know Timothy Drake is Red Robin. Clearly. Red Robin is the hero closest to becoming a villain which fits Tim quite well, and also Tim is the only Gothamite smart enough to be Red Robin. And infuriating enough to personally annoy Ra's al-Ghul on a regular." It's very simple honestly. Lex has no idea what's making this so complicated. "If it helps make you all feel 'safe' and 'secure' I could tell you about the time Timothy told me he had a crush on Kon-" And now Tim's thrown something at him. What is this, interrupt Lex day?

"Shut up! What if I told them about you and Clark Kent?" Ahh, expose his crush, get his own crush exposed. Well unfortunately Lex has no shame about that.

"You mean the man who could lift a 200 lb person with no effort? One of the very few good reporters?" Odd that Kal-El's face is getting red and confused but oh well. "Honestly though, who cares. You know Tim my offer for adopting you still stands. I know it must be absurdly easy to hide being Red Robin from your… family. However I think I could be of more assistance still." Batman's hands are clenching now. Interesting. "I mean you made a fake uncle to get out of being adopted by the oaf, I don't know why you didn't just let me." Ah, Batman's hands are unclenched. He must have thought that uncle was also real. Surprising, really, from 'The World's Greatest Detective' however they clearly have the wrong bat. "And does he even know about your missing spleen? Really, I should get him locked up for child neglect. Even I would notice if anything happened to Kon-El."

Tim's eyes widen at that and snap to Batman's equally wide eyes. They both jump into a sprint, Tim leaping out of a window with the Bat close behind. "Oh, did he not know? Oops."

Perfect. Hopefully that'll have been absurd enough that the Justice League leave him alone, and he can watch his show in peace.

[spider-tim]

I’ll never forget how unhinged he was

[spider-tim]

Wait! Omg I never thought about this. Tim needs support but people only bring up 3 members. Someone needs to get the girls and have them drop kick Tim and his depression spiral.

Tim still somehow loses his spleen.

More bitches need to be fucking around with yj98 + Bruce being lost in the timestream

Cause like, yeahhhh, Kon and Bart are dead, Cissie is retired and happy, I think Greta is retired? Slobo is fucking gone, Anita is raising the baby versions of her parents (or smth??) and Cassie joined a cult. And the SuperCycle is like, raising its sentient bicycle children I think. Personally I have no clue what’s going on with red tornado.

But what I’m hearing is that 5/8 members are alive and well and could totally work together to save Batman.

[spider-tim]

I think people don't understand exactly how mean Tim Drake should be or is kinda.

Like if you have him as a ruthless businessman who was raised by Janet Drake the Dragon of Gotham.

He would put Regina George to shame.

Tim would go to a gala look a woman up and down and sneer at her last season Chanel.

He would without thinking say the meanest shit imagineable.

"If the first line of your sucide note isn't dedicated to me I wasn't honest enough."

Oh Tim Bruce's first paragraph is dedicated to you.

Like he's so mean he's made half of them cry and sometimes it not even on purpose.

"Jason if you don't shut up I'm gonna dig up your mother and put you right next to her, oh wait there wasn't anything left was there."

"Imagine being sold out twice by your mother couldn't be me."

Dick trips.

"Really living up to that family legacy."

"Should have been falling Grayson's since none of you can stay off the ground."

Like Bruce is holding Jason and Dick back but he's also sobbing because Tim is such a bitch.

Stephanie called him boy loser when he was tired and she walked out sobbing.

I need Tim Drake to say the meanest cruelest shit ever.

Because he would.

That a menace and a mean girl.

[spider-tim]

Idea that's been bouncing around in my head for a while for a fic I may write some day

potential tw for accidental self-harm and what could arguably be considered suicidal thoughts if you know the context, your mileage may vary

Tim gets fear toxin'd as a civilian and becomes a paranoid mess, but he also can't think clearly or communicate what he's afraid of. He breaks into Jason's apartment and gives no explanation, just immediately starts triple checking the security, and he won't look away from the doors to talk to Jason, though he does try to respond.

He keeps repeating that he needs to give Jason something, that Jason needs something that Tim doesn't have, that Jason's the only one who doesn't have one. Tim can't figure out what it is that he needs to give him, just that it's important and the rest of the family has one. Jason tries to give him an antidote but it isn't taking and they realize they have no choice but to ride it out.

Tim hides in the bathtub with Jason guarding the door so he feels safer, but Tim keeps panicking more when he sees Jason's guns so Jason is only armed with knives. Realizing he isn't equipped to handle this and knowing that Bruce would make Tim feel safer than anyone, Jason reluctantly calls him in for backup.

Except Bruce comes in wearing his full costume and the second he sets eyes on him, Tim starts screaming and clawing at his throat until Bruce pulls the cowl down. Tim sobs and clings to Bruce, apologizing over and over until he starts to lose his voice and again repeating that 'Jason doesn't have one'.

It takes Tim a while to piece together his memories once he's back to himself. It isn't until days later when Tim's reflection over the glass of the bat suit makes him shudder unexpectedly that the pieces slot into place.

Tim adds a goodbye letter addressed to Jason to the contingency file (a physical paper file in a locked box just in case Barbara decides to snoop) he keeps just in case the evil future version of himself ever shows his face again.

In the report uploaded to the batcomputer of what happened that night, Tim claims he saw Captain Boomerang.

Neither Jason nor Bruce call out the obvious lie.

[spider-tim]

Let's bring up the fact Tim was willing to khs to get rid of Gun Batman. I think about it a lot and nobody in the batfam knows about it.

Tim: I'll try and kms again, don't even try me!

Gun Batman, sweating: In front of your family?

Tim: It's not the worst they've seen

Batfamily, learning another thing about Tim that's mildly concerning: WHAT THE FU-

[spider-tim]

Based on the fic 'your legacy’s not yours to see, nor is your eulogy' by @softcactus

[spider-tim]

tim doesn’t lie. he just... adjusts reality until everyone else starts questioning themselves instead of him. (his words)

it always starts small.

“you said you were going to take a break,” dick says, arms crossed, already sounding exhausted.

tim doesn’t even look up from his coffee. “i did.”

“no, you didn’t—”

“you just weren’t there when i did.”

dick hesitates. he’s been in the cave for hours, watching tim work non-stop. he knows tim didn’t take a break. but the way tim says it—so casual, so confident—makes him pause. what if he did miss it? what if tim took a five-minute nap when no one was looking? what if—no. no, tim’s just doing the thing again.

and the thing is, he’s at his worst when he’s sleep-deprived. steph once watched him convince cass that he had, in fact, slept the night before. cass had literally been in the same room as him the whole time, keeping an eye on him. it should have been impossible to argue with that. and yet, ten minutes into the conversation, cass was just standing there with a furrowed brow, staring at tim like she was starting to believe she had imagined the whole thing.

the injury cover-ups are just as bad.

“you’re injured,” bruce says, because tim is standing there bleeding.

tim doesn’t even blink. “no, i’m not.”

damian scowls. “you are limping.”

tim lets out this long, exasperated sigh, like they’re the problem here. “okay, but like—define limping.”

jason’s the only one who calls him out directly.

“you gaslight like a pro, man.”

tim just blinks at him, all innocent. “what? no, i don’t.”

“you’re literally doing it right now.”

“wow. that’s actually kind of hurtful, jason.”

and now jason’s just staring at him, trying to figure out how the hell he became the bad guy in this conversation.

the worst part? tim doesn’t even do it on purpose. in his mind, he’s not lying—he’s just adjusting the truth so it makes more sense. if reality has to bend a little to fit his version of events, well. that’s not his fault.

[spider-tim]

Okay but I need someone to write a snippet where whenever Tim does something “villainous” the core four make the “we’re in the bad timeline” jokes.

He could mix Red Bull with his coffee and Cassie is like “alright boys, we’re in the bad timeline.”

Tim holding one of Hood’s guns for whatever reason: >:3

Kon: *backs away slowly* “I know I joke about it but, we’re definitely in the bad timeline. Tim has a gun.”

Tim: *using his Timothy Wayne Persona as a way to get Bart to stop*

Bart: “This is the bad timeline.”

Bonus points if Tim brings out a PowerPoint titled “What to do if We’re in the Bad Timeline”

And it’s two slides.

Slide 1:

“Signs of the Bad Timeline”

> Tim has a gun

Slide 2:

“Steps to Avoid the Bad Timeline”

> Shoot Tim

> Have a younger Tim come and bluff his way out of it.

[spider-tim]

Anyway I just finished watching Justice League x RWBY: Superheroes and Huntresses movies.

It was good! I enjoyed the first movie more than the second but I also liked the second movie for showing how it affected some people.

But the first one was honestly the best for me. It gave Bruce bat wings.

Bruce being a Faunus canonically in the Remnant world is honestly so good.

I need more content. ;-;

Anyway this is me recommending y’all this fic. It’s really good!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43825467

[spider-tim]

“Come on, Bruce! I have theories that you should listen to!”

“Are these theories suggesting your brother is the web slinging metahuman who has been on the scene long enough to be Dick’s age?”

Jason throws his hands up in the air. “Yes! They’re sound! How are you ignoring all of the evidence in front of you?”

Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose. “Jason, if Tim is Cardinal, and I’m not saying he is, but if he was, that would put Cardinal at the age of 12 during his debut.”

Dick crosses his arms, eyebrow raised. “I was 9 (can’t remember if this is the age I am going with) when I started as Robin.”

Jason throws his arms to Dick’s general direction. See?

Dick side eyes him. “I’m not agreeing to your half baked theory that has no evidence to back it up.”

“Oh, Pride and Prejudice, you cannot be this dense!”

“What’s going on here?” Tim emerges from the shadows as if he were Batman. Beside him is Duke and Cassandra.

“Nothing, dweeb. I have some peppermint candies if you want some.”

Tim scrunches his nose. “Pass. Now, what movie are we watching?”

Debating the hilarity of Jason knowing Tim is Cardinal and no one believes him—not even “All Knowing” Alfred. He just doesn’t understand how no one can see it.

“Tim, you don’t like the hot chocolate Alfred makes?”

“He adds peppermint. I don’t like peppermint and I break out into hives.”

“Funny, did you know spiders don’t like peppermint?”

*groans*

“Neither do insects such as ants. It’s what we use to ward them away in the my house.”

“I was wondering why Tim never liked going to your house Duke. I just thought it was because it was beneath him.”

Tim clicks a button and the tv turns into a “why Tim isn’t classist because of his generational wealth” PowerPoint.

~~~~

“You good there, buddy?”

“I’m fine, Dick. It’s too cold.”

“Yeah Dick, spiders can’t thermoregulate and will go into brumation.”

“Not this again, Jason. Just help me with Tim.”

[spider-tim]

Debating the hilarity of Jason knowing Tim is Cardinal and no one believes him—not even “All Knowing” Alfred. He just doesn’t understand how no one can see it.

“Tim, you don’t like the hot chocolate Alfred makes?”

“He adds peppermint. I don’t like peppermint and I break out into hives.”

“Funny, did you know spiders don’t like peppermint?”

*groans*

“Neither do insects such as ants. It’s what we use to ward them away in the my house.”

“I was wondering why Tim never liked going to your house Duke. I just thought it was because it was beneath him.”

Tim clicks a button and the tv turns into a “why Tim isn’t classist because of his generational wealth” PowerPoint.

~~~~

“You good there, buddy?”

“I’m fine, Dick. It’s too cold.”

“Yeah Dick, spiders can’t thermoregulate and will go into brumation.”

“Not this again, Jason. Just help me with Tim.”

[spider-tim]

DP x DC but let’s throw Randy Cunningham 9th Grade Ninja in.

Long story short: Danny and Randy are friends. Danny found his place in the Batfamily. Ra’s Al Gul is a pain in the ass so Danny and Randy devise a plan to get rid of him without killing.

The two of them infiltrate the Nanda Parbat. Coincidentally Batman and Robin got whiff of their plan (but not the full of it) and followed to keep them safe.

A fight ensues, the heroes start to lose and it’s not looking good.

Then Ra’s appears… and goes to the Ninja, demanding to be given the knowledge that the Norisu clan had been containing within the secret book - the Ninja-Nomicon. Ninja is threatened that if he won’t show the book, all of his allies will die.

Randy exchanges a glance with Danny and they share a small nod.

Ninja opens the Nomicon and gets pulled in along with Ra’s. Inside he explains how the book works and how it trained new ninjas for generations.

“But that’s not what you need, don’t you? You need the ultimate knowledge the Nomicon can provide, right?”

And so Randy leads Ra’s Al Gul to the Ultimate Lesson.