#‘so are you guys looking for a third orrrr…?’

[artofapeach]

Oh to be interrogated by a hot married couple…

[taffycandyqt]

Please No

You can't sleep and seek company in your misery through your best friend. However he's not at home.

Masterlist

Request Rules

OH MY GOSH IM NOT DEAD! In all honesty I haven't been super motivated lately but I started this personal project a LOOOOOOONG time ago and felt I couldn't move on to other requests before I finished it. When I started this I felt really inspired to make it solely because I feel there is simply not enough Donatello fluff in this world, especially in 03' and 12' s case. So I hope you like it!

2012 Donnie x reader

Aged up, all characters are college/older adult age, depends on how you want to read it.

Fluff, slightly angst if you really want it to be there

Fem reader

Sleeping was always a struggle for you. Logically you knew you needed sleep, physically you felt tired, but mentally you just couldn't bring yourself to do it. Your body hated the idea and actually laying down and sleeping, so you went to the only person you KNEW would be up right now.

Casey Jones.

He was annoying when you first met him be he was chill enough that he grew on you pretty quickly. Not to mention that if it weren't for him you wouldn't have met your now boyfriend. You always enjoyed spending time with Donnie but trying to pin him down was hard especially since you didn't know where he lived. He didn't want you to meet his brothers just yet, says he wants time to adjust to your guys relationship before being teased. Which, fair. SO! To Casey's you went. You two usually met up at grueling times of the night so it was customary to clime up each other's fire escapes and practically break into the other person's house. You'd either scare each other awake or find the other sitting in their kitchen shoveling cereal into their mouth watching conspiracies on YouTube.

Tonight though, nothing. Like the dude up and vanished. You checked the kitchen and his room. You even went as far as to check the bathroom. THAT WAS HIS WHOLE APARTMENT! Did he have just as an abhorrent sleep schedule as you? Yes, but he never left the house to make it a strangers problem. So to ease your nerves you decided to call him, if that doesn't work, your gonna pray Donnie is awake enough to answer the phone.

One ring. Two ring. Third ring...

"This is THE Casey Jones." You breathed out a sigh of relief. He isn't kidnapped, dead, or lying in a ditch high of weed somewhere.

"Hey man, just dropped by your place, where you at?"

"Oooooh, one of those nights huh?"

"Isn't it always?"

"heh, I feel ya. Here I'll text you my location so we can chill." after that you heard talking from the other side of the phone. Someone that wasn't Casey. But before you could ask any questions Casey quickly responded to whatever it was that they said.

"SHUT UP! ILL KICK YOUR BUTT INTO NEXT WEEK, BUD!" ending with extra sass on the 'bud'.

That's when you got his text. Perfect!

---

Orrrr not. You swear you followed the directions exactly, so why are you standing in the middle of an alleyway being told to go forward when THERE IS NO FORWARD! Being the reasonable person you are you blamed it all on Casey and let him know of your little predicament.

And, 'wait there, just a sec was his reply.' You didn't think Casey would be the kind of person to plot someone else's demise. Not that he he hasn't caused someone else's demise, he just doesn't have the forethought to think ahead about it. However this whole, standing in an alley in New York at 2 am alone, is really starting to feel like a plot.

Once again, your nerves started rising. You looked around the old bricks, worn with water damage and scraping and covered in graffiti. The dark distorted your surroundings making it unclear if you were really alone in that alley or not. The stench of the trash bags shoved as close to the corners and walls as possible started to get to you. Your breathing got a little heavier. The ominous lighting from the street lamp didn't help either. Then a sound rose above the scampering feet of rats. You turn to see the man hole cover slowly scrap along the concrete as a large gloved hand shoved it away. The darkness of the alley clouded the figure and with the covering gone the hole left seemed like a endless pool of inky nothingness. You were stiff as a board and you could hear your heart thrashing in your ears. This is it. This is where you die and it's all Casey Jones's fault.

"Hey you did make it! Nice!"

Your threw a scrapped can square at his face.

"Ow!"

"CASEY! YOU SCARED ME!"

"Yo chill! I told you I was coming to get you!"

"YOU TOLD ME TO WAIT, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE FRICK YOU WERE DOING! GOSH CASEY! WHAT WERE YOU EVEN DOING DOWN THERE!?"

"Hehe, come on. I'll show you," he winked at you before gesturing you to enter into the manhole first.

"No."

"Oh come on! Don't you trust me?"

"NO! Also gross. I'm not going down there just for the heck of it Casey. I have never been curious what New Yorks sewer system looks like."

"It's not about the sewers! We just have to walk through the system to get to the place," he told you mildly annoyed.

"And your purposely being suspicious about 'the place', because?"

"Because that's a surprise,"

"Oh joy. I just love surprises at 2 in the freaking morning, in the sewers, wearing my pajamas," you snarked as you lowered yourself down the manhole scowling slightly.

Casey led you through the sewers keeping a brisk pace. You asked him about the voice you hear over the phone earlier and all he told you was that it was part of the surprise. To which you rolled your eyes.

"You seem pretty confident on where your walking," you remarked.

"Well I sure hope so!" he laughed to himself, "I've only been coming here since highschool."

Him saying that struck a possible idea of what his "surprise" could be. But you couldn't be sure.

You initially met Casey in college. Not that he went to collage, he just crashed a class that you shared with his friend. He called her red, talked about her a lot too. You didn't really know her outside of that one class. It felt strange to know so many details about someone you've never talked to. He did mention that she was Donnies first crush but Donnie never talked about her though so you didn't really care much for that detail.

You knew that Casey had known Donnie, his brothers, and "red" since high school. He told you about their adventures all the time. Sometimes it made you feel a little disconnected, especially since the only people you ever knew from the group were Donnie and Casey. But you tried not to let that feeling get to you. It would simply take time. Besides, even if you're newer and don't know the whole group, neither Donnie or Casey ever made you feel like you weren't a part.

The thing is though, is that Casey only mentioned highschool when talking about the turtles. So while it is a loose assumption, you had an idea of what he might be planning. Part of you really hoped it wasn't what you were thinking. The other part really REALLY wanted it to be what you thought. But the majority part was to tired to care and just wanted something to do.

After a short walk you noticed the sewer transition into an abandoned subway station. That's when you heard the sounds of videogames and people. The smell of pizza lingered in the air the closer you walked to the sound. Eventually you got to the part of the station where lights lit up the dark space.

When you got to the entrance, you saw two turtles playing videogames. Pizza boxes littered the floor, some of them containing pizza, some completely empty. You were a little stunned honestly. Donnie had a genuine reason for not introducing you to his family, you didn't want to cross that line. But at the same time, you really needed a brain rotting distraction. You hesitated. But when Casey gestured you to go first through the turnstile first, that hesitation crumbled. You just wanted some pizza, was that so wrong? I mean you were already here, might as well just commit. You and Casey passed through and neither of the brothers tired to look at you. The one in red acknowledge the sound by saying,

"Welcome back Case."

"What didja need to do that you left so fast brah?" Asked the orange one.

"My best bud needed A.M. pizza, so I figured here would be the best place for her to get some," Casey told them patting your back before taking his seat next to the orange brother and picking up an abandoned controller. You followed, feeling out of place, you sat beside him.

This got reds attention.

"I'm sorry, she?" He paused the game to look over at you.

"WHAT?! CASEY WHO THE HECK IS SHE?? YOU CAN'T JUST BRING RANDOM PEOPLE DOWN HERE!"

"Dude chill out! First of all, shes not random, she's y/n," reds eye twitched, "Secondly, it's no biggie, she already knows Donnie, she's no snitch."

You smacked Casey's arm and shook your head.

"Hey! your already here aren't you?" he whined at you.

"Wait, how do you already know Donnie?" orange finally spoke up.

"Yeah, who are you anyways?" red questioned you.

"I-um. Hi, I'm y/n" you stiffly introduced.

You felt very awkward about this whole situation.

"And you know Don, how?" red reiterated impatiently.

You decided to play dumb.

"What do you mean?"

"How do you know Donnie?! Oh my gosh are you dumb?!"

"No, I get what you asked, but in what way?"

"THE FRICK DO YOU MEAN 'IN WHAT WAY?' HOW DO YOU KNOW MY BROTHER?!"

You both went back and forth like that for a while. Little did you know that this was Casey's plan all along. He had talked to Donnie about introducing you the family but he always said it "wasn't the right time". You and Donnie had been dating for almost a year now and had known each other even longer. Yet his brothers had yet to know you even existed! Knowing you, you wouldn't push the issue because you didn't want to pressure your poor boyfriend. You were under the false pretence that he would come around eventually. The truth is, he wouldn't. And it wasn't because of his brothers teasing.

They would still tease him yes, but they've grown, they know the line. The real reason Donnie hadn't introduced you was because one; he wanted you to himself. And two, the biggest reason; he was embarrassed of where he lived. Yes his home was cleanly and all but it was still a sewer. It had taken a long time for him to begin to believe that you actually thought he was attractive and not some kind of monster. Living in the sewer though? What if that breaks your entire image of him? What if you think he really is some slimy gross sewer monster after? He couldn't bear the thought. After being with you for so long, he doesn't think he could live without you.

It took a lot of nagging but when Casey finally broke him and that was the explanation he gave? Casey was so done. So he took matters into his own hands. He waited for the opportunity to present itself and tonight was the night.

"Dudes!" orange interjected, "Chillll. Ever consider that maybe she won't say cuz we haven't introduced ourselves yet?? Hmmmmmmmmm?"

He chewed red out. Red just scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Hi, I'm Mikey, and that grump is Raph," he told you, "He's been awake too long, he gets fussy without his nap."

You giggled at this, but before you could say anything back Raph had tackled Mikey to the floor. As they rustled you made a small laugh.

"What is going on in here so late?" you heard someone say from behind you. You turned to where it was coming from and saw the third brother you had yet to meet. Blue.

Before he could say anything to Raph or Mikey though, he made eye contact with you.

"Who are you?"

"This is my best bud y/n. Y/n, the fearless leader Leo," Casey introduced.

"Don't call me that Casey," he told him sternly. He walked over to you guys and took a seat in the other side of you.

"You know Case, if I wasn't half asleep I'd be way more upset about you bringing a stranger to the lair."

"She's not a stranger though, she's known Donnie for a while now. Besides we already got yelled at enough by Raph," Casey told him.

He humm and nodded in a 'that makes sense type' of way.

"So you've know Donnie for a while?" he asked.

You felt like could tell Leo just as much as you could tell Raph. Which was nothing. But you felt like Leo would be more receptive to a reasonable answer then Raph was.

"I'd tell you, but I'm not at liberty to say right now," you said.

"That's not suspicious at all," he teased.

"Hey!" you laughed at him and he laughed back.

Casey elbowed you and smiled proudly. He acted like he deserved a thank you for introducing you to your boyfriends family behind his back. All you did was elbow him in the ribs. That was he really deserved. You would be lying though if you said it wasn't an oddly fun situation.

That's when Raph had pinned Mikey and he started screaming.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY? I COULDN'T HEAR YOUR BEFORE?!" Raph yelled at him with this hands pushing Mikey's head to the floor.

"AAAAAAAAA!!" was all Mikey said him response.

Leo sighed next to you, "I guess I'll be taking care of that."

Before he could make a move though, you heard a familiar voice.

"What is going on out here?! I can't work with all this RACKET!" Donnie grumply shouted.

He stopped right in his tracks when he saw you though.

The only time you had seen Donnie that worked up was when an experiment failed or his brothers got on his nerves. Even then though, it was just venting after the fact, so you never witnessed the brunt of his frustrations. Safe to say you were a little startled, not put off or anything, just surprised mostly.

"Y- y- y- y Y/N?! What in Earth are you doing here?? At this hour? Here? I- ??" he was completely flabbergasted and udderly mortified.

He looked a mess, bags under his eyes, mask lazily pushed above his eyes, and not to mention yelling like an angry old man! Oh nononono. It was bad enough you were in his sewer home, there's no way you don't think his a monster now!

"Would you look at that, guess you did know Don after all," Raph said, head in hand while an elbow laid on Mikey's head.

You turned back to Raph, "Why would I lie about that?!"

This boy was unbelievable.

"Raph get off Mikey," Leo told him.

"Not until he says it!"

"Really Raph? I though you stopped doing that when we were teens."

Deciding that you needn't be involved in that conversation, you turned back to Donnie who had a horrified expression on his face.

"H- how long have you been down here?" he asked quietly.

"Not super long, Casey and I only got here like, a few minutes ago," you answered him.

Donnie took a deep breath, he looked like he was about to loose it. You didn't blame him honestly.

"You. Brought. Her. Here?!" he asked Casey. Clearly hanging by the thread of his last nerve.

"Yeah, s'not like you ever would have, so I took matters into my own hands. Besides she's my friend just as much as she's your girlfriend, I have a right to introduce her to my closest buds."

"Wait. Did you just say, girlfriend?" Mikey asked. Leo was helping him off the floor with a displeased Raph standing to the side. They all froze after Casey's statement and started at you and Donnie with wide eyes.

"JONES!" you both yelled at him in unison.

"What? They were gonna haft'a know eventually, I just got the awkward part out of the way for you," he shrugged and winked at you both.

You were gonna kill him. And by the looks of it Donnie and you were on the same page.

You pinched the bridge of your nose and let out a sigh.

"Okay, I think Donnie and I need to have a private conversation. When we're done we'll clear everything up with you all. Okay?"

"That sounds good," Leo nodded while everyone else complained.

You turned to Donnie signaling to lead the way to wherever you two could have some alone time. He seemed nervous and jittery, but led you none the less. He let you in first through a big sliding door that opened up into what seemed to be a garage. It had tables with tools and other electronic equipment strewn around. There were chemistry supplies as well along with some posters in the walls.

"So," Donnie started, fixing his gaze on the floor, "you wanted to talk?" He adjusted his mask to fit back over his eyes.

"Uh, yeah," you answered. Why was the air so thick all of a sudden? Donnie was so closed in on himself it was almost like he was afraid of you. Honestly, you wanted to ask him why Casey said he would never take you down here. But now wasn't the time for that.

"What do you want to do now? I know you wanted to introduce me on your own terms but now that that's not really a possibility. So where do you wanna go from here?" You asked.

You figured it would best to have a game plan before explaining everything to his brothers.

"I understan- Wait what?" He looked at you confused.

"Uuhhh, where do you want to go from here? Ya know, now that your brothers know?" You repeated yourself. Now you were confused.

"I. Wha. That's all you have to say?" Donnie said mouth agape, shocked.

"What? I mean, about this situation yeah? I mean, I am curious why Casey felt the need to do this but that's not really my first priority right now. Am- am I missing something here?" You asked him.

"I- I thought... I live in a sewer," he told you.

"You thought you lived in a sewer?" Your confusion increasing, "Like. You didn't know?"

"No! I know that! I just... you don't care?"

"Why would I care? I'm sorry," you put a hand to your forehead, "did you think I would judge you for your living conditions? Which are honestly pretty cush. Who do you take me fore Don?!"

"I! Well it's not that I thought you would judge me, it's just... I'm a mutant. Living in the sewers just- I don't know. The only things you think of living in the sewers are creepy gross monsters or rodents. On top of that it's the sewers! Most people find that pretty gross."

"Donnie. We've known each other for longer then a year. If I was disgusted by you, you would know by now," you spoke dryly.

"All this time I thought you just needed to get used to things. But you were just assuming the worst about me? What the heck Donnie?" You were hurt. You loved him so much, and he thought you would leave him because of where he lives? He really thought you were that judgemental?

"What?! No! I wasn't assuming the worst about you! I was just afraid you'd realize you deserve better than me!"

"BUT YOU'RE ALL I WANT!"

He stopped and looked at you, eyes wide.

"Really?"

"Yes! And I hate it when you talk like you're not deserving of love just because you're mutant."

"I just... I just don't see what you see in me," he admitted.

"Then stop assuming things and closing yourself off. Talk to your family, talk to your friends, talk to me. I never worry about whether or not you love me, you've seen me at my worst and never left my side. You're so scared of how I'll react to your worst you never even give me a chance to show you," you grabbed his hand and looked him in the eye.

"You don't get to decide how I feel or what I think, only I do."

"You're right, I'm sorry. Sorry for assuming things, things about you, and for taking so long to introduce you."

You kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you," you smiled at him. Then pinched his neck and pulled him to you.

"Ow ow ow ow!"

"And never do that again," you let him go.

"Yes of course absolutely never again," he nodded and smiled at you. You smiled back and patted his chest.

"Now before we continue the conversation of how to approach your family, I feel like we should address the eavesdroppers in the room," you said pulling back the door all the way. It was already cracked open to allow the peepers better visuals for your conversation.

As it slid open you noticed Casey and the three brothers trying to run away from the door.

"What! Guys! What part of private conversation do you not understand?!" Donnie yelled at them.

"I told you guys you shouldn't have done that," Leo scolded them.

"YOU LITERALLY JOINED RIGHT AFTER SAYING THAT!" Raph pointed an accusatory finger at him, "AND FOR THE RECORD IT WAS MIKEY'S IDEA!" He yelled moving his pointing to the youngest.

"Wow dude, I thought we were in this together," Mikey put a hand on his chest hurt.

"Well in the end it doesn't matter cuz it already happened right?" Casey shrugged and took a seat on the couch again.

Out of everyone here you and Donnie were most ticked at Casey.

Both you and Donnie approached him from behind and grabbed one of his shoulders.

"W-what? Uhhh. You dudes need something? Eh heh..." he stuttered nervous. Only just now did he realize the hole he had dug for himself.

"Why don't we have a chat Casey," you smiled but it was less of a question and more of a statement.

"Privately," Donnie finished, no smile to be found.

You both were gonna have fun with this. Then Donnie could take you home and tuck you in. What a great boyfriend girlfriend bonding activity!

------------------------------------------------------------Listen y'all, I know Google maps don't work like this, but just for the sake of plot pretend like it does.

[swanhookheart]

Let’s get something really clear here: liberals are right-wing.

“But Katie! That’s not… what about… well…”

Lemme break it down for you.

Leftists in this country, who are very often from marginalized communities, tend to support certain “leftist ideals” that support those marginalized communities. There are the basic ones like unions and a living wage, the call to tax corporations at fair rates, the idea that people with vaginas ought to have bodily autonomy and LGBTQ people deserve the freedom to marry and participate fully in society.

But then there are the “controversial” ones, like maybe not funding the cops or funding them LESS and diverting that money toward social programs, or the idea that our taxpayer money shouldn’t be funding a genocide. Orrrr that the state of Israel itself has some serious problems that need to be addressed from the ground up—since it’s not okay for a country’s existence to be predicated on stealing land from, beating, murdering, imprisoning, and eventually just straight-up ethnic cleansing the people who already live there.

Plenty of formerly registered Democrats are now saying, having witnessed the atrocities in Gaza, that they don’t want to be part of this two-party system anymore because the two parties look basically the same at this point. There is no “lesser of two evils”; they’re both just fucking evil. So we decide to vote third-party. And, of course, we’re demonized for it.

Not by conservatives, no, but by liberals. None of the attacks are coming from conservatives, in fact; it’s “concerned” liberals every time who come into our comments and attempt to threaten and browbeat us into supporting their chosen fossil.

“If you vote third-party, I hope you’ll enjoy being forced to carry a child against your will under Trump!”

“I hope you enjoy being beaten up because of your gender”

To BIPOC, they reply with:

“I hope you enjoy being hate-crimed when Trump wins!”

“I hope you enjoy all the Islamophobia you’re going to receive!”

“I hope you enjoy having your remaining rights stripped away!”

There’s always a digital equivalent of a smirk playing across their faces as they type these things out, a smugness that seeps into these threats—because they are threats.

Now, the reason (which I’ve been struggling to articulate for some time) that these things get to me is because all of these kinds of comments carry with them the clear implication that marginalized communities will DESERVE these things, that marginalized communities have EARNED these things—by not voting for their guy.

What that reveals is both terrifying and immensely sad, but BIPOC have been telling us this truth for *years*:

Liberals’ support for marginalized communities is conditional, based on those communities voting the way they want, or being otherwise useful to them. Their support for marginalized communities has always been conditional, and it always will be…

Because they were never actually left-wing. They support all the same things that the Republicans do, which is why they keep appealing to Republicans for votes. They never actually gave a damn about the people, and they never will. They care about money and power—that’s it. They have more in common with conservatives than they do leftists, and their “support” was never anything more than performative.

And if this group can so smugly reveal that they don’t give a damn about these communities, why the hell should these communities give a damn about them?

[dead--diary]

I’ve been back for a bit but I thought I’d still do a proper update since I wanna start using this blog again.. kinda

Like.. It really helped me out when I was younger but it’ll probably be used rarely now since I’ve been trying to handle my mental state a little differently.

I use to vent a lot about my boyfriend at the time and to be honest rightfully so.. every fear I had came true and looking back on it now it’s so embarrassing to think about how much I let slide.

The flirting and being close to all these girls and all the people that made me feel like I was being crazy over it?

Always trust your guts and don’t let HIS FRIENDS or THE INTERNET talk you out of it..

I wasted five years of my life (MY TEENAGE YEARS) and put my own goals on the back burner for him 😬 At least I know now not to do something like that ever again??? Hopefully

Anyways

He made out with a girl who I was considering making my best friend. That shattered me pretty hard.. I had two people I thought were genuine with me and they proved they weren’t actually..

and THEN my dumbass stayed??????????????????????? The relationship was literally over but I couldn’t let it go and that ended in me getting cheated on AGAIN

With someone I found so annoying and who compulsively lied to make me a bad guy. I literally got yelled at by him and his family OVER THOSE LIES? I’m also disgusted by sex now since he slept with her AND THEN ME like the idea of her dna in me like that without my consent had me gagging.

It’s really fucking embarrassing and I’ve been trying to avoid ever talking about all that with anyone even tho the outcome of that was so hard to deal with. I revisited a lot of feeling I hadn’t felt in years and I genuinely felt like I was going crazy like there were times I felt like I was watching myself in third person? And this would go on for hours and sometimes when it stopped I would forget the stuff that I did during the time I felt like that.

I’m pretty sure I had a psychotic break at one point too but luckily that’s gone away.. although I do still feel like I’m going crazy and it’s kinda scaring me. I really just want a better life and I’m working on it I think I finally have an idea of what I want to do? But the lack of luck and motivation and FUNDS is making it really hard..

I feel like my two options are make a better life orrrr enddd-

And I really want the better life

Better life

Better friends

Better self

That’s pretty much it.. I guess

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Pt. 10

a/n: based on this post uwu

okayokayokayyeyyy

LOOOK I LOVE THIS SCENE LIKE I CAN GO ON A RANT OF HOW IMPORTANT THIS SCENE IS LIKE SKDJSLDKKSSM

okay so

yuhhhhhh

the way this is set up is basically seijoh simping for you

also they have their own separate gc just for them bc they dont want you to see them just simping for you

even tho oiks ltr does that everyday

but hes not ready for that conversation

there was a few times that you were kinda curious as to what was in the chat

but they would click off and they would blush before diverting you to a different conversation

this might sound hella weird and creepy

idk bout yall but i think its cute that they take random pictures of you doing the sinplest things

this all started bc of one picture

from baby aki-kun

so basically you stayed behind with kunimi during monday to just study and you sat in front of him while sharing his desk

babie took a pic of you just studying and he sent it to the gc with no context

its a known fact that seijoh doesnt practice during mondays so they were all doing something out of school

but they were all missing you so seeing you with kunimi fueled jealousy in everyone

even kyo

oikawa blew up in the chat and was keyboard smashing

the others were just teasing him like hes lucky youre with him

but behind the screen, they were blushing and red and envious and AAAAA

thus spurred on some sort of competition

like they would send the chat pictures of you like 'hA TAKE THAT SHES WITH ME'

unbeknowst to you, these boys have folders of just cute candid pics of you

oikawas insta is filled of you and his snap is full of you in his story and his tiktok is full of screaming simp rants about you

the tiktok comments are all like, 

‘IS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!’

‘OIKAWA-SAN SHES ADORABLE’

‘BACK🤺OFF🤺OIKAWA🤺I🤺CALLED🤺DIBS🤺ON🤺HER🤺FIRST🤺��

random ones like him doing a day in my life type of vids and you appearing and everyone can just see the small blush on his face and the bashful yet happy smile on his lips

its really adorable

but the real ones know that shes been appearing in his insta since day 1

moilk.bread.1

thats practically your account now 

welll,,,

its more of a fan account for you and a lot of people from aoba johsai follow that account since you dont have an official one yet so they all simp for you there

the pictures were all from everyone like the boyz group chat was a haven for your candids

you did think it was strange that the boys would constantly ask to take pictures with you and everyone was just trying to get a pic to have aesthetic couple pics w you

and they would put it as their wallpaper or lockscreen

IMAGINE THE BLUSH THEY WOULD GET WHEN COMPLETE STRANGERS WOULD ASK THEM IF THATS THEIR GIRLFRIEND

oooo i mentioned this in the post too that iwa and you went to the gym and you guys took a mirror pic

after, you didnt really like the gym bc its just hard yanno?

iwa went back and while he was setting up his weights and equipments, his gym buddy noticed his phone light up causing your picture to show up

'oh? is that your girlfriend, iwaizumi?'

duh he doesnt have a girlfriend so he was like 🤨 until he saw his phone

the lockscreen was blaringly bright and your 'couple pic' was showing with the notifications

totally not oikawa blowing up their group chat bc he was with you

ofc babie hajime got all flustered and he blushed before shaking his head

'n-no'

he mumbled and his buddy laughed before clapping his back

'well, you obviously like her so do somethinf about it before someone does'

dont you think he doesnt know that?

also with mattsun!

this mans works in a cute cafe that this old granny owns and this thought has been living in my head rent free

and he was working during the weekend at the cafe

there were other people there but granny loves him bc hes been working there sibce he was like 15 and she took care of him a lot

he was like a grandson

so while he was serving, this granny was manning the cashier and checking people out

issei's phone was there on the table behind the counter and it started glowing at the indication of the messages being received

'have a nice day-oh!'

she noticed it right there and she saw the picture on his lockscreen

you were probably being carried by him due to your levelness with his height and you were kissing his cheek while issei smiled brightly

that was a picture you both took during an outing at the mall and the sunset behind you was just perfect to take a picture in

poor granny was like 'oop dont look at the messages' so she turned it over to not go to his privacy

there again you were

it was a polaroid of you two and he was backhugging you at school

hint? 👀

askldfjlsdkf

she knew issei was a very handsome young man so there shouldnt have been a surprise that he would be dating someone

can we name this granny?

granny inko lol

okay so granny inko saw issei coming over to rest the serving board thing and she beckoned him over

mattsun nodded and leaned over the counter to see what she wanted only to be greeted with a flick to the forehead

‘oW what was that for?’

he whined while holding the spot

granny inko tutted disapprovingly before crossing her arms

‘youve been working all week this week when you could’ve taken time off to spend it with your pretty lady. is this how men are nowadays? didn’t i teach you right to treat women properly?’

duh baby mattsun was confused like O_O

‘wha?’

his dumb question made her grab the phone and place it on the counter in front of him

‘your girlfriend, child. women need attention constantly and as much as you want that money, is it worth losing that smile full of happiness?’

okay stop it granny im getting emotional

more like disagreeing bc that wouldnt put food on the table BUT ANYWAYS

baby issei was surprisingly embarassed and scratched his neck

‘um,, baa-chan,,,,, she’s not my girlfriend’

he flustered and gave her an awkward smile

granny inko shot him a confused look and tapped the phone

‘well, she looks like she is. and if not, better hurry your move, boy. girls that make men happy like that only comes as rare as a good scratch ticket’

LMAO 

i do not encourage gambling so please save your money kids

you know what

these boys do that just to actually feel like it

okay thats confusing so imma explain it in greater detail

whenever someone mistakes you as their girlfriend, it makes them feel like you are for that split second and its just an addicting feeling

its like what if you were their girlfriend?

i mean, youre already the whole team’s girlfriend but theyre greedy brats and just want you for themselves

ohohohohoh

kyo!!

kyo def has a selfie of you both with the doggie filter but it was actually you who took it while he was just staring at you in the background

that was his lockscreen for like the rest of his high school career

lol

anyways!!

he was actually in a fight and during it, his phone fell off to the ground and conveniently oikawa messaged causing it to light up

one of the thugs had their hands gripping kyo’s collar and was pushing him against the wall while the others were surrounding them

they saw the phone flash and kyo cursed at the terrible timing and he made a mental note on killing oikawa later

a guy picked it up and he smirked, seeing the pretty smile of a pretty girl

‘heh? whats this?’

kyotani pushed the guy who was holding him but other two surged towards him and held him tighter

their leader snatched the device and chuckled

‘oh. its that bitch from his school. what is it’

he snaps his fingers as he tries to remember before stopping

‘aha! l/n y/n!’

kyo growled

‘shut up!’

the guy grinned at him and tapped the phone against kyo’s chin

‘oh yea. i heard shes a cutie. most people here know her, kid. now we know shes connected to you and guess what. you cross us again, she’ll take your place as you are right now. orrrr, we can,,, use her as our pet. thats how she is in your team, right? so let us have a turn. maybe we can send you a pic, hm?’

yea no that wasnt happening

kyotani easily beat those people up after because even just saying that unleashes power he didnt know he had

‘bastard. youre lucky this is just a warning. you touch her and i will kill you’

he landed one last kick on the guy’s face before taking the phone and leaving

now he has to figure out how to hide the bruises

you fussed later and he didnt tell you the reason instead just saying they said something that made him angry

nah

you were a person he didnt want to disappoint and he knows how much it hurts you to see him in that state

that was one of the things he hated but loved at the same time

you were such an empath that you would treat him and wince as if you were the one feeling the pain instead of him

and it made him feel special

you were one of the few things he holds close and he would be damned if anything happened to you because of him

the group chat was actually just blowing up with more screaming and the third years yelling at each other with the first years just casually reading the texts

they were used to the arguments within the team and you would remain so naive with the whole thing

kunimi is the type to keep silent and he didnt really care about anyone getting angry if you were spending time with him

but he does get annoyed if you were with kindaichi because you three were a package lol

like when kindaichi and you were at the arcade, this kid walked all the way there just because he didnt want kindaichi to hog you to himself

duh you thought this was adorable and endearing bc they wanted to hang out w you

no LUV theyre greedy brats who gets jealous over yOU

OH

so like i mentioned before that you and makki would walk over to the bakery and you guys would buy food there and such

and its also canon in here that makki only shares his food with you and no one else lol

why?

because when you eat the puffs, you put one in each cheek and it makes you look so adorable like a squirrel

sorry but squirrels are so cute like AAAAA

makki takes so many pictures of you and a lot are surprise shots where your eyes would be wide with cheeks full of food

aaaaa so cute

like you and makki sat down on a bench in the park across the bakery and you excitedly dug in to your own treat

makki chuckled at your excitement but he placed his hand on you arm to stop you

‘y/n-chan. say aaa’

you lit up and let him put the puff in your mouth and thought he was done but was surprised when there were two

you happily chewed it and went back to looking at your treats

but makki interrupted you again by calling you out

‘princess~’

the nickname made your eyes widen with red painting your cheeks and the shutter of the camera made you realize what he did

‘makki-senpai!’

you whined and he laughed

makki had a lovestruck smile on his face and he wiped the bit of creme on the corner of your lip

‘gotta take care of my princess~’

STOPPPPP MY HEART? GONE MY SOUL? GONE HOTEL? TRIVAGO

OH MY GOD IM IN SUCH A MAKKI AND MATTSUN AND IWA AND OIKAWA AND THIRD YEARS IN GENERAL BRAIN ROT PLEASE HELP

but we gotta give love to the second years :’)

ive mentioned that watari is the only person to ever go into your house right?

well, he comes over to cook and such so you guys spend time making food for the team 

watari takes this opportunity to take pictures of you cooking and the group chat cries bc its so domestic and they all start having the same thoughts

they really said seijoh braincells

it was like seeing a glimpse of a possible future for them

you, wearing an apron, cooking on the stove with your hair thrown in whatever with baggy clothes

gosh

thats like you someday being their wife and waking up one morning to see you there cooking in the kitchen

oikawa swears he had a dream that night because of that picture and he continuously thanks watari for YEARS because of that picture

okay are you curious about the dream?

yuhhh

oikawa woke up in an unfamiliar bed in a foreign room 

he felt his bones crack when he stretched and his hand extended out to a side that was still quite warm

hm

somebody must be sleeping next to him

then he stood up, catching his reflection in the mirror in front of the bed

;)

why would there be a mirror there hmmmm????

ANYWAYS

he noticed he had a bigger build and his hair was longer

then came the itch of the facial hair that he swore wasnt there a minute ago

this guy even checked out his butt and to his surprise, wow

obviously he was confused and a part of him thought this was the future

tooru walked to the door to go into the hallway and concluded, yep, this was not his house

then he heard music being played somewhere and a mixture of voices coming from a room

sounded like a woman and children

he stops at the top of the stairs, suddenly hit of the thought that this voice was so familiar

‘hm?’

tooru walked downstairs and stopped when down the hallway in front of the steps led to the kitchen where the voices seemed to lead to

‘mama! mama! mama! toast! i wan toast!’

‘in a bit, darling. just let me finish flipping the pancake’

the song was lo-fi with the volume being turned low enough to hear the voices fine

tooru wandered down the hallway and he stopped, finally seeing the owners of those voices

there was a handsome little boy sitting on the chair by the island and his brown hair was a mess of wild curls

there was a woman with h/c hair swaying to the tune and a beautiful little girl curled up in her arms while sitting on her hip

‘hey’

oikawa spoke out and caught everyone’s attention

‘papa’s awake!’

‘pa!’

‘hello tooru’

tooru froze

that was you

he knows it’s you

‘y/n-chan’

he whispered and you looked back at him from the pan

‘yes? if youre looking for coffee, we ran out apparently’

that was not what he was talking about

he hastily walked over to the boy and he blinked rapidly

‘you look like me’

he mumbled and the child grinned

‘eung! papa  and yozo look the same! mama and nana say so!’

yozo?

feeling like all the attention was on him, the little girl whined and her hands made grabby motions to him

‘pa pa’

she whined and tooru just felt something in him that screamed to hold the kid

you shushed the little girl

‘dont worry, looney loon. papa’s right there’

loon?

tooru stayed frozen at his spot and you raised an eyebrow at him

‘tooru? luna wants you’

oh

luna

that snapped him out of his trance and he held the little girl in his arms where she smiled at him and then he felt tears welling up in his eyes

then he woke up

okay sorry that was a long dream

so this dragged on for so long already okay

this was only meant to be small but aaaaa i couldnt help itt!!!!

but anyways!

the boys are just simps for you and theyre creeps that take pictures of you and they think about you all the time pls accept their love

also a mild continuation of the dream:

oikawa was holding luna and she was happily laying there when another figure emerged from the hallway

‘iwa-chan?’

he asked, surprised

what was he doing here?

iwa heard his name and grunted before going to a beeline for you

you smiled at him and he leaned in to give you a kiss to which oikawa froze in

iwa noticed his best friend holding his daughter and luna saw her father there

‘daddy!’

she shrieked and tooru blanched

‘uh, what?’

iwa extended his hands out to hold the girl but tooru held her tightly and leaned back

haji narrowed his eyes

‘um, give me my daughter, oikawa’

he grumbled and tooru shook his head

‘no! shes my daughter!’

you blinked

‘your god daughter, yes. but she’s half of your best friend, tooru’

half of his-

god? daughter?

‘so that means-’

‘piece it together, oikawa. did ya get brain damage or something? babe, call the doctor’

oikawa screamed

a/n: lol look WHO ROSE FROM THE GRAVEEEEEEE :) anyways. i really want to deeply apologize to everyone for taking an unexpected break and i shouldve told you guys and im really sorry :( everythings just chaotic lmao and im just like taking a breath for a second uwu and im so AMAZED at how many people still follow me even tho ive been gone for so long like bls yall are real ones :’) i love you all and the req box is still closed at this time as i need to finish the ones i have first soo thankyou for reading thiss and hopefully ill update soonerr!!! :)))

also not me completely messing up my kuws and missing 8 and 9 in my masterlist and having a mindblowing realization that i have 10 keeping up with seijoh fics

[fruityutas]

𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗳 ⊱ 𝘄.𝘆𝗸

stoner!yukhei x reader

not proofread

genre ~ fluff, smut, highschool!au, richboy!yukhei

wc ~ 4k

synopsis ~ yukhei is your school’s weed dealer. he and his 6 friends all smoked in the back lot of the school every day after third period. you avoid his group because you don’t want to be seen as a trouble maker, but when you’re paired up with yukhei for a science project, you can’t exactly stay away for long.

warnings ~ cursing, drug use, sex with a condom

science was probably your least favorite subject. that and you were forced to take it at 9 am every day. what’s even worse is that you had to be in the same period as yukhei, or xuxi, as he liked to be called. the boy was as loud as he was tall. and oh my god, he was tall. luckily, he sat on the opposite side of the room from you. the teacher had to place him there because he was always playing around in the back.

you’re tugged out of your thoughts when the teacher finally stands up from her desk and starts talking about a partner project. she begins assigning partners, and everyone starts complaining. she hushes them and keeps setting random people together. “y/n and yukhei.” the laugh that comes from one of his friends, xiaojun, makes you roll your eyes. you turn to see them both looking at you, and yukhei gives a friendly wave, to which you return an awkward one. the teacher tells everyone to pair up with their partners and brainstorm ideas for the project. you make no moves to yukhei, so he just comes to you. you get out a pencil for him because you knew he didn’t bring one. he accepts it with a knowing blush on his face. “thank you.” you nod and begin writing ideas in silence, but yukhei keeps up talking. “so what are you thinking? i guess you’re not the speaking type huh?” you shoot him an incredulous look.

“no, i just don’t talk to you because all you do is skip class to go smoke.” it was a harsh response but it was the truth. his smile faltered and an awkward laugh slipped from his lips. “i- that was rude of me, i’m sorry yukhei. i just don’t want to be the only one to actually do the work on this project.” he nods slowly while keeping the eye contact. the more you look at him, you realize that he is quite attractive. his face is so symmetrical and his lips, god his lips. they look so kissable, soft and plump. you get so lost in thought you don’t realize he was trying to continue the work for this project.

“y/n, are you ok?” he waves his hand in your face, snapping you out of your dreaming. “you zoned out there for a second, did you get enough sleep last night?” “yes yes my bad, i just… was thinking.” the blush on your face made him laugh a little. “ok, so back to this project, we can work on it at my house since my parents are almost never home, if that's fine with you?” “that’s fine but why are they never home?”

“oh well they go on business trips a lot, ‘cause they’re high ups in the companies they work for.” you felt like his tone was hiding sadness, the fact that his parents were never there to see him or spend time with him must’ve hurt. “well now you have me to keep you company! other than your friends, of course.” the smile that graced his face made you feel warm inside. you exchanged numbers just as the bell for lunch rang, and you sat back to watch him leave with xiaojun.

that afternoon he texted you his address and asked if you could work on the project today, to which you agreed. when you got there, you were not expecting the mini mansion that it is. sure, you knew yukhei wasn’t poor, but his house is huge. you text him to let him know you’re here while you walk up to his front door. he opens it before you can even stop walking. “thanks for coming today, i kinda wanted to get to know you better while we work.” your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “really? i wasn’t expecting that, honestly. i just thought you wanted to get it done quickly so you wouldn’t have to talk to me.” he shakes his head quickly and pulls you in the house. 

“please don’t think that i don’t like you, i’m sure you’re a really sweet girl. i think we got the wrong first impression of each other.” you giggle in agreement, which sends yukhei’s heart into overdrive. he has always found you cute, but he never had the courage to act on it like he had with others. the boys always teased him for it, saying that a drug dealer shouldn’t have trouble asking a girl out, but he always threatened them with revoking their “friend discount” of 90% which usually shut them up. the two of you continued the work that you’d started in class and got fairly far, when the front door swung open. you snapped your head up to see his six friends filing in. you knew all their names from talk around school, and it’s no surprise they know yours. ten and yangyang both stare at you with slight disdain while the others go in different directions of the house. 

“have you finally managed to get her pants down?” tens question makes you choke on air and yangyang just cackles. they both take seats on the large couch as if they live here, which they most likely almost do. yukhei starts speaking angrily in mandarin while you awkwardly get up and go into the kitchen for a drink. you find hendery in there playing with yukhei’s dog bella. he straightens up when he sees you and doesn’t make eye contact. you nod at the fridge so he’d move, and he asks you, “so are you like, smart? because i need help in algebra. i just don’t understand the whole domain and range thing.” you stare at him for a second before bursting into laughter. “hendery, why in the world is that the first question you ask me? i can help but i’m not gonna do the work for you.” his vigorous nods make you think his brain is knocking around his skull. you pat his shoulder lightly before walking back into the living room where kun and sicheng have also joined the other three. “so i should probably get going, since your friends are here, but uh, text me when you wanna work again?” he begins to protest your leaving. “no no, please stay. you can meet my friends.” you shoot a look of hesitance to yukhei, to which he returns with pleading eyes. how can you say no to him when he’s being cute? you sigh and mumble out a “fine” which makes him cheer and the others either shake their heads or laugh. you sit back down on the couch close to yukhei, making ten wiggle his eyebrows at you. xiaojun and hendery enter the room, making the couch fill up. kun clears his throat before turning to speak to you.

“y/n, what grade are you in?” the question catches you off guard and you stutter out your answer. “i’m a junior.” he hums and nods before muttering something to yukhei in mandarin. yukhei nods in fearful agreement and it leaves you wondering what the hell kun said to him. “well at least you’re not gonna fail like xuxi over here. he could use the help of someone as dedicated as you.” you blush at his comment. 

“yukhei, where is the-” “just call me xuxi, please.” “oh, ok then. uhhh where is the restroom?” he turns to point to a door in the hall behind the living room. “that first door there.” you nod and get off the couch as quickly as possible. as you’re walking away, they start talking amongst themselves, but loud enough for you to hear. “she’s cute, for sure. if you don’t snatch her up i might just have to.” kun was undeniably attractive, but he honestly terrified you. his serious demeanor and tendency to get into fights - and win - was not good for your nerves. you could hear yukhei whine at the older boy to stay away from you, and that he’d get around to it but he wants to make you at least comfortable around all of them. 

the bathroom lights seem too bright and make your head hurt. you check to see the time and it’s only 5:20 pm, you had told your mother that you wouldn’t be home until 7. “it’s just an hour and forty minutes, y/n, you can do this. just stay cool and it will be ok. they’re not going to be rude to you.” walking out of the bathroom, they get quiet when you get close. yukhei makes room for you next to him on the couch again, and you sit awkwardly. it’s quiet, and they’re all looking at you. the hot feeling of anxiousness creeps up your spine, and you look anywhere but their eyes.

“you can speak, y/n.” yukhei’s deep voice cuts the air and sends a chill down your spine, but it also brings you comfort, as if he was protecting you. ten breaks out into a cackle, muttering something along the lines of “she’s so red, are we really that scary?” yukhei scolds ten in mandarin, but it proves no use as the older boy continues laughing. “i’m not really sure what to say. you guys probably share zero interests with me.” a lighthearted laugh comes from you when finishing the sentence. yukhei’s hand makes its way to your thigh, causing you to jump a little. his large hand was warm, and it brought heat to your cheeks. “now y/n, i’m sure we share at least one interest.” you look skeptically at him, his big eyes shining.

“i don’t really know… i’m not a good conversation maker.” yukhei’s hand stays put on your thigh, a steady reassurance for your nerves. “well i’m assuming you don’t smoke, but i really need to right now so.” you shake your head in disagreement, the thought of smoking repulsive to you. yukhei stays put at your side while ten digs in his bag. kun is the next one to speak to you. “who’s your favorite musician? maybe we share music taste.” you fumble around, not expecting the question. you never really shared your music taste with anyone because it wasn’t what you thought people would expect from you. “um, i really like chase atlantic…” kun gives a surprised look. “that’s something we have in common, i love them. what’s your favorite song?” 

“oh really? my favorite is probably right here orrrr out the roof. but if i’m honest all their songs are good.” kun nods enthusiastically. a small huff comes from your side, and you look over to see yukhei pouting. kun just laughs and gets up to sit near ten, who had started smoking during the conversation. yangyang, xiaojun, and hendery had run off to play with bella. sicheng was napping on the loveseat across from you. yukhei rests his head on your shoulder and snuggles into you. “you know, you’re really cute.” his hands wrap around your waist in display of either jealousy or possessiveness. your face burns with embarrassment. you squeak out a response to his complement. “thank you, yuk- xuxi.” he giggles and squishes your cheek in his large hand. you decide to bite the bullet and cuddle up to him, not seeing any use in resisting since you didn’t mind it. the room smelled of weed and you were close enough to smell yukhei’s cologne. the scents were strong, yet the fact that you were close to yukhei made them feel as if they were normal. 

“xuxi?” he looks up at you from his position, face painted with a smile. you couldn’t deny that it tugged on your heart strings to be so close to him. “hmm? is everything ok?” you nod at him, smiling back. “i just need a water, i’m thirsty.” he lets go of you, but gets up before you can. “let me get it for you, i’ll be right back.” you sit patiently and wait, observing your surroundings. sicheng was still napping, yangyang had since joined kun and ten while hendery and xiaojun were playing a video game on the tv. yukhei returns with a water bottle in hand before sitting back beside you. you take the first step initiating cuddling this time, catching him by surprise. he leans back into the spacious couch, pulling you onto him. you get comfortable in his arms fairly quickly, the large boy being unusually warm. you fall asleep in his arms, only waking up to your phone ringing. “shit, i have to go.” your mom was calling, and the time was 8:30. you were so in trouble when you got home. yukhei groans and wakes up from your moving. “is everything ok?” his tired voice was rough and it made you blush. “y-yeah everything is fine i just have to leave, it’s late.” he rubbed his eyes and stood up. the other boys were either asleep or playing on their phones. “i’ll walk you home, it’s the least i can do.” you agree and get your things together. it was dark and cold outside, and you’re glad yukhei is walking you. he links your hands together and pulls you closer. 

“hmm where is your jacket?” you laugh nervously and look up at him. “i’m just forgetful, i guess.” he laughs and wraps his arm around you to preserve heat. your house isn’t too far from his, so it’s only 9 o’clock when you get there. you don’t even knock on the front door because your mother opens it with an angry look on her face.

“do you have any idea what time it is?” you go to say something but yukhei gets to faster. “I’m sorry, mrs. it’s my fault, we were working and i lost track of time.” your mother’s face softens and she sighs. “well then, i understand. come on, y/n, i’ll warm your dinner up. and thank you for walking her home young man.” yukhei bids you and her goodbye before turning to leave. you give him a kiss on the cheek before walking into your house, not turning back because of the raging blush on your face.

the next few times you work on the project with yukhei, the boys aren’t there. you have a suspicion he told them not to come, but you don’t mention it to him. today had been just as peaceful up until you notice yukhei zoning out.  “yukhei please try and focus, we need to get at least this part done today.” he was constantly fidgeting and couldn’t concentrate on the task at hand. he grumbles something you can’t quite hear. “what was that? are you ok?”

“i need to smoke. it’s hard to focus without it.” oh. you were confused, wasn’t weed non-addictive? “isn’t weed like-” “i have physical dependence on it, i can’t just not smoke when i want anymore. it’s... shitty but i can’t help it at this point. i’ll be quick, I promise.” you nod slowly, hesitant that he’d be able to do any work at all while high. not that you’d ever experienced him high before, but people and the internet let you know the effects somewhat. yukhei doesn’t even leave the room to do it, and the smell is overwhelming. you flinch every now and then, the headache from the stench of the plant pulsating in your brain. yukhei seems to notice and puts the bong down before pulling you close to him. you begin to protest, but being so close to him and the cologne he wears drowns out the smell of the drug heavy in his hands. you relax into his form, snuggling into the crook of his neck. you think to yourself how you don’t really want this moment to end, and how yukhei was comforting to be around. he always made exceptions or catered to you when he didn’t have to. he could very well be mean to you and not care, but he takes effort to show that you’re included in everything, and it meant a lot to you. his long fingers run up and down your back in soothing motions, bringing you impossibly close to him. he struggles to put his supplies up with you cradled in his lap so you begin to get up, but he verbalizes his distaste with it. “no no, you’re fine. just sit still baby.” the pet name he gave you made heat rush to your cheeks. you obey his order and stay put in his lap, though your constant moving was causing a bit of a... problem in his jeans. you could feel his semi-hard cock against your core, and out of some sort of animal instinct you grind down on it. yukhei lets out a breathy grunt while putting away the last of his setup. 

“jesus fuck y/n. you’re gonna make me fully hard if you keep on like that.” he grabs your hips to make you still against him. your face could not be any more red than it is, embarrassment at a high. yukhei just laughs and brings your head out of his shoulders to look at him. “you don’t have to do anything with me, you know that, right?” you nod sheepishly and avoid eye contact with the boy. he leans in close to your ear, nipping the lobe just a bit before whispering to you, “but i feel like you want to, hm?” 

you let out a shaky breath and pull yourself into him again. “i think i’d really like that, yes.” sex was not really new to you, you had a previous partner but it was only once. it felt exciting to you, having someone want you so bad. taking your hips in his hands again, he moves your body along his lap, the friction of both your bottoms adding to the pleasure. “fuck baby, you feel so nice just grinding on my cock, i wonder how you’ll feel bouncing on it.” his dirty words cause a whimper to erupt from your throat, sending heat straight to your lower regions. “xuxi please…” he chuckles at your weak state.

“please what? you gotta tell me what you want.” you’re already a mewling mess in his lap, the words coming out incoherently. “please, just use me. i want you so bad, xuxi please.” he hums in your ear and maneuvers the two of you up off the floor, then walks to his room, holding you. as if you were weightless, he tosses you onto the bed, and you almost moan at how strong he is. “are you gonna lay there or are you gonna get undressed for me?” you scramble to take off your clothes, the commanding tone in his voice sending shivers down your spine. “that’s a good girl. you’re such a good girl for me huh?” his long fingers pitter down your thighs, stroking the insides of them every now and then. “xuxi, mmph! i want your mouth, please.” he smirks and dives in like a man starved, tongue spreading your wetness around. it was messy, but it felt so good. using a mix of tongue and fingers, yukhei brought you so close to orgasm, only to back away at the last second. you whine out at him and buck your hips up to his mouth. “ah ah, kitten. be patient or you get nothing.” he reaches up to play with your breasts, pinching at your nipples. his other hand strokes the inside of your thigh painstakingly slow. “you’re so cute, baby. all those times you’d sit close to me or fall asleep on me, i just wanted to ruin you. do you want me to?” you nod like your life depended on it, you wanted him to make you fall apart.

he shimmies out of his jeans and boxers, cock springing up and slapping his abdomen. opening his bedside drawer, he pulls out a condom. taking the packet in between his teeth, he opens it and puts the rubber on. you can only stare in awe, his length was impressive. it was around nine inches and had a girth sure to split you in half. yukhei notices your gaze and laughs. “you like what you see? well it’s all yours, baby.” he crawls over you, pulling your thighs up to your chest. “you’re sure you want this?” you nod at the tall boy, pulling him in for a kiss as he pushes into you. bottoming out, groans spill from the both of your mouths. he pulls out slowly, letting you have time to adjust before thrusting in and setting a steady pace. skin slapping skin resonates through the room and bounces off the walls. his thrusts were hard enough to jolt your body, tits bouncing with each one. without stopping, he lifts your body up and holds you to his chest while he sits on his heels. the new position let him hit places deep inside you, amplifying the pleasure. you could feel the head of his cock hitting your cervix with each thrust into you. sweet whimpers and moans fell from your lips, yukhei was basking in the sounds of your enjoyment. grunts into your ear came from him every minute or so. “p... please go harder.” tears built up in the corners of your eyes from the overwhelming pleasure, drool coating your lips from incoherent babbling. yukhei’s speed increased, his breaths coming out shaky and thrusts unsteady. “i’m so close, xuxi” the hot coil in your lower parts was winding tighter by the second, your release creeping just around the corner. “i know princess, me too.” yukhei started toying with your clit, rubbing quick circles on it. “you can cum, just let go.” as if he had full control of your body, the coil snaps and you cum with his name pouring from your lips like a mantra. his hips stutter as he gets close to his climax, thrusts slow and deep. he comes after a few more strokes, letting his cock pulse inside your tight walls. you sit there to catch your breath while yukhei throws the condom away and brings back a damp rag to clean the both of you up. after he finishes, he gets into bed behind you and draws the covers up over you.

“do you need me to walk you home?” you slowly open your eyes and look up at him. “or do you want to stay?” you snuggle closer to him and mumble “i’ll just call and tell my mom i’m staying at a friend’s since it’s friday.” you can’t see it, but yukhei smiles sweetly. “y/n, i know people usually don’t have sex before dating, but if i could, i wanna be your boyfriend.” you squeeze his torso and let out a meek “yes, i’d love that” before falling asleep together.

yukhei as a boyfriend was something to behold. he was constantly goofy and treated you as if you were the only girl in the world. the guys accepted you quickly and you were deemed the mom of the group. hendery got himself a girlfriend and you became best friends with her, always gossiping about the others. you all were basically a family, sharing good times and bad, but you always pulled through.

“y/n! c’mere, look at this.” yukhei’s loud voice was the first thing you hear in the school halls. “please xuxi, you’re so loud. don’t want everyone looking at us.” you giggle to let him know you were joking, not actually caring if people heard you. “look, there’s this old church about ten minutes away from the school and we think it’d be a really cool place to hang out.” you hum in acknowledgement, looking at the pictures sicheng had sent to yukhei. the building wasn’t damaged heavily, and it would be a really good spot for the rest of the group to smoke. “let’s do it! and while you guys smoke i can look around and take pictures.” yukhei can’t help but look at you with stars in his eyes. you were his world, and he never failed to show that. even the group could tell he was whipped for you, they always teased him but he never cared. 

“well let’s go! c’mon, no one will notice if we leave now.” anyway you look at it, there’s no place you’d rather be than with yukhei.

[intheticklecloset]

Burn Some Calories (Haikyuu!!)

Primary Universe

Thank you, first anon! Your request made me so happy! I love Nishinoya! I want more of him in my life! General yelling about how awesome and adorable he is! Yaaaaaah! Anyway, enjoy! ^^

2. “Take that back!”

5. “You don’t have it in you.” “Are you sure about that?”

30. “Are you crazy? I can’t last that long!”

~

“Eat my dust!” Noya laughed as his racer blazed by Asahi’s on the track.

Asahi glanced at his smaller friend for a brief moment, smirking. Noya was always energetic, but somehow while playing video games that energy just went so far beyond the next level it nearly broke through the atmosphere. This was only their second race, but watching his friend get so worked up over fictional characters in a game that ultimately didn’t matter was highly amusing to Asahi.

I wonder if he’d freak out over suddenly losing? The ace thought, and no sooner had he wondered it than he was testing it, reaching over at the end of the third lap to grab onto Noya’s ribs and tickle.

“AIEEE!!” Noya screeched, bursting into laughter. “Nohohohoho, you cahahahahan’t do that! Asahiehehehehehehe!” The libero cackled madly, but somehow managed to stay in control of his racer just long enough to cross the finish line, at which point he shoved at his friend’s hand to free himself. “That was a dirty move.”

The ace chuckled, crossing the finish line a few places behind Noya, but it had been worth it to get that reaction. He set his controller aside and playfully grabbed his friend’s leg, yanking his foot into his lap and scribbling wildly over the socked sole. “I was hoping you’d get mad about that. I guess nothing fazes you, huh?” Nothing, that is, except tickling.

“Stahahahahahahap!” Noya shrieked, using his free leg to try and kick Asahi away. “No fahahahahair, you knohohohohow I’m tihihihihihicklish!” At that moment the doorbell rang, bringing a stop to their playfulness as Noya twisted out of the ace’s grasp. “Pizza’s here!” he declared, hurrying to the front door.

Asahi grinned at the retreating figure, then lowered the volume on their game, content to let it sit on the screen between races, waiting for someone to let it know to move on to track three. He got up and moved into the kitchen just as Noya was returning, pizza box and 2-liter soda in hand.

“Finally, we can eat,” the libero said, setting both items on the table and lifting the lid of the box all in one fluid movement.

“Hold on a second, Noya,” Asahi said, doing his best to sound serious despite his ulterior motives. “We are actively in volleyball season. We have to be careful about what we’re eating.”

Noya stared at him. “Dude, we ordered a pizza forever ago. If you thought it was a bad idea you should have said something then, not now.”

“That’s not what I mean. I mean we’ve got to watch our calories.” Asahi pushed down on the lid of the box, closing it as Noya frowned in confusion.

“Whatever calories we get we’ll burn off in practice. What’s your deal, Asahi?”

Deciding it would be best to jump right into his mischievous intentions rather than risk Noya getting mad at him, he grabbed the little libero and hoisted him over his shoulder, carrying him back into the living room.

“Whoa, whoa! What are you doing?!” Noya cried, grabbing onto Asahi’s shirt for support in the seconds before he was suddenly flying through the air, landing on the ace’s beanbag chair with an “oomph!” When he suddenly found himself straddled with both wrists pinned over his head and wiggling fingers in his field of vision, Nishinoya realized what was about to happen, and he grinned nervously.

“I think,” said Asahi, smirking down at him, “we should burn off those calories before you eat, hmm?”

“What about you?” Noya retorted, letting out a yelp when the ace lunged for his helpless ribcage, stopping just before making contact. He blushed, embarrassed.

“I don’t need to worry about calories. It’s all muscle for me. But you’re just a little guy. You have to be more careful.”

Noya gasped, pretending to be offended. “How dare you! Take that bahahahahahack!” He giggled when those fingers finally started scribbling. “Gah – nohohohohoho! Asahi!”

Asahi beamed, thoroughly enjoying himself. When he’d found out last year that Noya was extremely ticklish, he’d vowed not to use it against his friend too much – but every now and again, he simply couldn’t resist.

“Let’s see…I think about thirty minutes of tickle torture will be enough to burn off the calories you’ll get from eating that pizza, don’t you?”

“Whahahahahahahat?!” Noya cried, giggling helplessly. “Are you crahahahahazy? I cahahan’t last that lohohohohohong!”

“It’s either that or you don’t eat as much pizza.” Asahi shrugged. “If you want, I’ll only tickle you for fifteen minutes and then eat the rest of your share for you.”

“Thahahahahahat’s not fahahahahair!”

“I’m willing to make the sacrifice.”

“You jeheheheheheheherk! The pihihihihizza will be cohohohohohohold by thehehehen!”

Asahi hummed contemplatively. “Then I guess I’ll have to speed things up. How about five minutes nonstop on your worst spots? That should do it.”

“No!” Noya shrieked, but Asahi was already digging harder into his ribs, turning his giggling into laughter. “Gahahahahahahaha nohohohohohohohoho! Asahihihiehehehehehehehe!”

“Orrrr,” the ace drew out the word teasingly, “if you want, instead of eating the rest of your share, I could fill up on ribs instead.”

Noya couldn’t take being messed with like this. What sucked even more was that Asahi had strength and height to his advantage, so no matter how much he struggled, he knew he wasn’t getting away until the ace said so. The libero scoffed. “Y-Yohohohou dohohon’t hahahahahave it in you.”

“Oh?”

Immediately Noya knew it had been the wrong thing to say.

“Nononono, wait, wait, I was joking, please Asahi—”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Wait! NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!” Nishinoya tossed his head back and screeched, kicking his legs uselessly as Asahi nibbled on his exposed ribs. “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE ASAHIHIEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!” The ticklish sensations were so strong and so maddening, Noya felt like he was losing his grip on sanity being tortured like this. “STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!!”

Asahi let up, allowing his friend a chance to breathe. When the libero met his eyes, the ace grinned wickedly. “Don’t wanna.” Then he leaned down to nibble along the other set of ribs, relishing in the screams of laughter he produced, enjoying how Noya squirmed and kicked beneath him to no avail. The second-year outshone him in so many ways, it felt good to be able to outdo him in at least one activity. Plus, Noya’s laughter was loud and screechy and uncontrollable. It was the best sound ever.

“STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!!” Noya begged, unable to stand the strong tickly feeling emanating from his ribcage as Asahi nibbled. “PLEASE, PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE!! PLEASE, ASAHI!!”

Again the ace let up, allowing Noya the opportunity to gasp for air. “Hmm…we’re burning off some calories, that’s for sure. But I think a little more tickling is in order before I can in good conscience let you have some pizza.”

Noya groaned, but he was grinning ear to ear, secretly enjoying this as much as Asahi was. “You jeheherk, I hahahahate you…”

“Okay, so we’ll burn a few more calories for that comment.” Asahi wiggled his fingers in Noya’s underarm, grinning when the libero instantly burst into hysterics again.

“GOD, YOU SUHUHUHUHUHUHUCK!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

“A few more calories, then. You really want your entire half, don’t you?”

“OF COHOHOHOHOHOURSE I DO, YOU PIEHEHEHECE OF—NAHAHAHAHAHA!!” Nishinoya screamed when Asahi leaned down to blow a raspberry on his belly. “OKAY, OKAY, I’M SOHOHOHOHOHORRY!! NO RAHAHAHAHAHASPBERRIES!!”

Asahi chuckled. Raspberries were his trump card when it came to making Noya submit. They worked every single time.

“PLEHEHEASE, I CAHAHAHAN’T TAKE ANY MOHOHOHOHORE!! LET ME GOHOHOHOHOHO!!”

“I think you can.” Asahi smiled, scooting up so he was straddling Noya’s lower stomach, using his free hand to reach behind him and squeeze at one of his thighs.

Noya would have bucked his hips if he weren’t stuck in this position, laughter bubbling out of him once more, this time more frantic and hysterical than the last. “NOHOHOHOHO, NO, ASAHI NOT THEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHERE!!”

“I think a couple more minutes should do the trick.”

“I CAHAHAHAHAHAN’T LAST THAT LOHOHOHOHONG!! PLEASE – PLEASE – NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!” Noya laughed and laughed and laughed, unable to hold back even a little bit as Asahi squeezed and kneaded into first one thigh, then the other, then back again, over and over for a solid minute and a half at least.

Asahi watched Noya’s face contort with uncontrollable joy, his voice coming out in loud screams for mercy, his body thrashing helplessly beneath his firm hold, and the ace couldn’t help but smile endearingly at the sight. Every once in a while, it was fun to turn his confident friend into a complete and total wreck.

When Noya’s pleas for mercy started coming out in wheezing gasps, Asahi decided he’d had enough for today and let him go, releasing his wrists and climbing off of him. He sat on the floor beside the beanbag, waiting patiently for him to recover.

“I h-hate you…” Noya said at last, his voice breathy and little hoarse. “The pizza’s gonna be cold now…”

“I have a microwave.”

“It’s not the same.” The libero groaned as he sat up, turning to look at his upperclassman with a tired smirk. “Been a while since you decided to really destroy me like that.”

Asahi chuckled, getting to his feet and helping Noya up behind him. “Couldn’t resist.”

Noya grinned, leading the way back into the kitchen. “Come on, ace. I think I more than deserve those calories now.”

[screamingay]

so are you guys looking for a third orrrr... /hj

LMAOO nope sorry bestie. this is an ego boost tho so ty for that

[mizunetzu]

Plz make a prat 2 to its your fault!!! It was SO GOOD!!

LMAO I WASNT GONNA BUT I BROKE 100 FOLLOWERS PURELY BC THAT FIC SO-

——————

Kuroo x reader - it’s your fault (pt. 2)

⚠️warnings - none

Pronouns - male, he/him

part one can be found here! , and if the link is broken, check my pinned masterlist!

——————

Sports sucks. That’s the mindset (y/n) carried over to Karasuno, in his second year of high school.

He was doing great. He joined the writing club, he did extra well in his English classes, and even made acquaintances who didn’t force them to learn a sport for the rest of their life’s.

He doesn’t think he’d call them “friends” though. They weren’t as close as he was to his ‘teammates’. Or Kenma. Or Kuroo.

But then again, his relationship with Kuroo wasn’t real. And (y/n) will forever hate him for that. He’ll hate his guts for as long as he lives, for wasting his time and giving up his passion just because he couldn’t suck it up to tell him he didn’t want to be friends anymore.

“(L/n)-San, you’re late.”

A cold sweat broke out on (y/n). He looked up at his history teacher, with a nervous smile. He didn’t care for that class as much as the others, so it’s hard to keep up when you aren’t interested.

“(L/n), this is your third offense. I’m going to have to send you to detention. Take your seat and see me after class.”

“Yes sensei...”

He tiptoed to his seat and slid into his chair, with his head down. It was his first detention. He wasn’t going to lie when he said he was nervous.

————-

The detention wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. When he walked in, the teacher supervising was asleep on his desk, and there were only about 4-5 second years in there.

None really stood out, minus the one sitting in the corner, with his feet up, spinning a volleyball in between his hands. He had hair that reminded him of that bitch Kuroo, except it was styled like that on purpose, and there was a streak of blond straight in the middle.

The stranger seemed to catch his disgusted face, and said “Oi-you got a problem, pretty boy?”

(Y/n) wiped the look off his face and leaned a against the wall, not wanting to sit down. He stood there for about 5 minutes, before he heard the ever so familiar sound of a volleyball being smacked. Absentmindedly, he turned towards the sound, and brought his hands up to receive the ball. It’s the first thing they drill into your mind in that prison called Nekoma, so could you really blame him?

The thing he didn’t expect, was the ball to actually hit his hands. He thought the sound was in his head, or the boy just smacked the ball in his hands, but he didn’t think that he threw the damn ball at him. The ball effortlessly bounced off his arms and flew back into the hands of the boy, who had a shocked, excited, expression.

“You play volleyball?!” The boy jumped out of his seat and ran up to him. He was short, but then again, (y/n) wasn’t that tall to begin with.

“I...don’t...I’m sorry.”

“Bullshit! That was a perfect receive! I’ve seen guys on my team who don’t have a receive as good as that!”

Team? He thought there would be no ‘team’. This is the one school with that ‘fallen crows’ thing, right?

The boy was jumping up and down, praising his receive and making weird sound effects. He’s never really been praised on his receive before. It was heartwarming.

“-and you gotta join my team!”

“Hell no. I don’t play volleyball anymore. I’m done with it.” The words came out like an automated response. The boy tilted his head to the side.

“Why not? Your one of those new kids right? I don’t think I’ve seen you last year.”

“I don’t care much to talk about it” (y/n) chuckled and sat down. The boy sat down next to him, to his disappointment.

“I’m Nishinoya Yuu. What’s your name?”

“(Y/n).” (Y/n) said nothing more, mainly because he was used to going by his first name at Nekoma.

“(Y/n)? Just (y/n)? Is that your first name or your last orrrr-“

“First,” (y/n) drummed his fingers on the desk. “I don’t like formalities when it comes to spor-“

That response came out automatically aswell. It’s something Kenma said so much, that he started doing it aswell. They weren’t even doing sports. They’re in detention for gods sake.

“Nice to meet you man!” Nishinoya gave him a pat on the back. (Y/n) flinched a bit. Kenma wasn’t touchy at all, and Kuroo avoided as much contact with him as possible. Yet this...stranger was talking to him like he was the last person on earth. He was the center of attention right now. And he loved that feeling.

Are all countryside people this nice? Back in Tokyo, or at least with Kenma and Kuroo, they weren’t so...touchy. And the team wasn’t touchy as well. But maybe this is different. Maybe...

“You have to at least VISIT the practice! I won’t force you to join! But this is my last day of detention before I finally return and it would be cool if I got another player in! Not that I’m assuming you’ll want to play instantly but-“

“I’ll do it.”

“Really!?”

He was just going to watch. He wanted to see how different the Miyagi players were compared to Tokyo. That’s all. After that he’s going to leave. No more volleyball.

————

Nishinoya and (y/n) became good friends during the remainder of the detention. He told (y/n) he was a libero, and asked what his old position was. He lied and said he was a libero too. There was really no reason to lie, but he didn’t want to say he was a setter either.

On their way to the gym, (y/n) could practically feel how excited Nishinoya was. It was something (y/n) could never understand. They neared the entrance to the gym, when Nishinoya suddenly sprinted inside. A ball hurdled towards him, and he returned in the direction it came from, with little to no effort.

(Y/n) jogged in after him. “Noya! Warn me when you start sprinting damnit! you scared me!” A boy with bright orange hair, also pretty short, stared at Nishinoya with wide eyes.

“He’s...he’s shorter than me!”

“Huh? Hey, what did you just say?!” The libero got ready to pounce on the other short boy when he choked out a panicked “s-sorry!”

They started going back and forth on stuff

(y/n) wasn’t paying attention to, when 3 other people walked into the gym.

“Oi! Noya-San!”

“Ryu!”

The unknown people started greeting Nishinoya, while (y/n) stood awkwardly to the side.

“Oh! Let me introduce you.” Noya gestured towards (y/n), who stiffened once all eyes landed on him. My name is (y/n), uh-just (y/n). I don’t like formalities when it comes to sports.”

“Yeah! He said he wanted to watch-“

“Actually I want to join.”

It was something (y/n) said on impulse, after looking at everyone’s friendly attitude. They looked at (y/n), even though he was a total stranger, like he was a part of the family. He couldn’t help the words spilling out of his mouth. Nishinoya went silent, along with everyone in the room. A smile grew on Noyas face as he shook (y/n’s) shoulders giddily.

“That’s great! What position are you going to play?” The black haired dude with tan skin said, walking up to (y/n) and patting him on the back. Again, with everyone’s kindness. It’s so weird.

“Set-“

His throat closed in as if it told him he wasn’t supposed to say that. He felt the piercing stare of a boy with black hair and blue eyes. He was most likely a setter. He also looked at the kind smile of the man with silver hair, but how his eyes betrayed his kind look. They looked sad, and droplet of sweat rolled down his cheek. He was probably a setter, too. (Y/n) closed his mouth, then opened it again.

“...Libero. I want to play libero with Noya, if that’s alright.”

(Y/n) hoped he wouldn’t regret his decision. Not of signing up as a libero, his defense was pretty strong and on par with Noyas. He just hoped he wouldn’t regret joining the volleyball team he sought to never set foot on.

But everyone’s warm, friendly smiles made him forget about his inner turmoil, even temporarily.

He’d guess he’d have to quit the writing club, then.

————

“Rolllllling thunnnnnder!”

Noya dove for the ball and tumbled away, before standing up, looking proud of himself.

Tanaka and (y/n) started laughing hysterically, while Suga awkwardly mused out a “N-nice receive..”

“Why did he yell that out?” Kageyama looked just as dumbfounded as Sugawara, while Tsukishima and Yamaguchi stifled their laughter. “Pfft-what was that?”

“Kageyama! Tsukishima! Yamaguchi! I’m going to lecture you all! Crouch down! I mean-sit down!”

That just made (y/n) laugh even harder. He forgot why he hated volleyball so much, his stamina built to the point he wasn’t dying when he ran laps, and moments like these made him feel like he was on top of the world. He had a family. A new start. Things were going great. Nothing could ever-

“Everyone! I want you to gather around!” Takeda-Sensei burst through the gym doors, making everyone turn their heads. He started talking about some “golden week training camp” and how they needed to practice. (Y/n) wasn’t really paying attention, choosing to jokingly poke Tanakas waist with a “rollingu tsandaa~!!” Until-

“-and for the last day of golden week, I’ve arranged a practice match!”

Tanaka shooed away (y/n’s) hands and cheered. “Whooah! Who’s our opponent?”

“A venerated school in Tokyo, Nekoma high school.”

(Y/n’s) heart stopped. Every moment of his childhood he wasted cane flooding back just as he started to feel content with his new high school life. His eyes widened dramatically and his mouth hung open a tad. Sugawara seemed to notice, and gave him a concerned look as everyone was buzzing about the practice match.

“You okay?” No response.

“(Y/n?)” no response.

(Y/n) felt the ground swirling under his feet. It suddenly felt like there wasn’t enough air in the gym and the knee pads squeezed the everliving hell out of his legs.

“(Y/n)!” All eyes were on him. He was on the ground, sitting down and starring blankly at Takeda-sensei, while everyone silently stared back at (y/n).

This situation felt familiar.

————

The training camp flew by in a flash. It was one or two day before the dreaded match with Nekoma, and they were sprinting around the street to warmup. However Hinata, being Hinata, ran too far and unknowningly, to a place he didn’t recognize.

“Did I get lost?” His thoughts were intruded when he saw a boy, with bleach blond hair, sitting on the curb playing on his phone.

‘A bright red jersey. You don’t see much of those around here.’ Hinata thought.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Hinata ran up to the boy, who was obviously startled by Hinatas sudden exclamation. He looked from his phone, to Hinata, then to the ground.

“Um...I’m lost...”

“Eh? You’re from out of town?” Hinata cocked his head to the side, as the boy with the blond hair turned back to his phone.

“Yeah.”

They stood in silence, with Hinata admiring the game the boy was playing on his phone, when he suddenly jumped up, squealing.

“Are you a volleyball player?! Those are volleyball shoes!”

“Oh...yeah...”

The boy put his phone down and looked at him though his mop of hair. Hinata jumped up and down excitedly.

“I’m in a volleyball club too. I’m Hinata Shoyo!”

Another silence engulfed them, before the boy spoke up. “Kozume...”

“Kozume? That’s you name?”

The boy, ‘Kozume’, looked down at his bag. He then drew his gaze back up, mumbling out a “Kenma” before he looked back down.

“So your Kenma, Huh? Are you in high school?”

“Yeah...I’m a second year.”

Hinata stiffened and straighted his posture rigidly. “Crap! Your older than me! P-pardon me!”

“Don’t worry, I don’t really like formalities when it comes to sports.”

That statement made Hinatas shoulders relax, now sporting an odd look on his face. Kenma noticed his gaze, but said nothing. The thing he said now, was exactly what (Y/n) always said. When he introduced himself when he joined, when he introduced himself to Asahi who joined soon after, and to everyone whom he didn’t know beforehand when in the gym. It was like his catch phase.

“You...remind me of one of my teammates. Uh-! Not exactly! He’s more um...rowdy? B-But you said something he always says and-“

Kenma perked up, whipping his head to Hinata with questioning eyes. He, however, noticed his abrupt nature, and looked back down, trying to focus on his phone.

“Um...what position do you play?”

“Setter.”

“Ehhh?! Really? Your waaay different than our setter! our setter is a litt-“

“Does your setter have (H/c) hair? Or is he kind of clingy who likes video games?”

Hinata looked at him with a confused expression. Kenma looked at Hinata with prying eyes that almost seemed desperate. He was clutching his phone in his hands a little too tightly, to the point his knuckles turned white.

After taking Hinatas silence for a ‘no’ he turned his attention back to his phone, with pursed lips and a “...nevermind...”

The conversation they had was pretty tame afterwards, Hinata complaining about how scary his setter is or how it’s odd that he’s short for a middle blocker.

(Y/n) came jogging down the street Hinata took, along with Sugawara trailing behind him. Once (y/n) took sight of the familiar orange tuft of hair, he smiled. However, once he was about to call out his name, he heard a voice and a name he hasn’t heard in forever.

“Kenma!”

(Y/n) looked past Hinata to see a boy with blond hair. It wasn’t the Kenma he knew, his Kenma has black hair, but it could’ve easily been bleached. He looked a little further and locked eyes with someone he sought to destroy from his mind.

Kuroo.

(Y/n) stood there, frozen to his core, before a harsh glare graced the cheery persona he sought to uphold. Kenma stood up and waved a goodbye to his new friend, before jogging up to Kuroo. Kuroo broke into a cold sweat, shoving his hands in his pockets and averting his eyes guiltily.

Sugawara rounded the corner, before his eyes landed on Hinata and (y/n).

“Ah! Hinata!”

Hinata flinched and turned around to see Sugawara, and (y/n), who was clenching his fists with a disgusted look on his face.

“Man, we were looking all over-“

“Who were you talking you, Hinata?”

(Y/n’s) words dripped with venom. He wasn’t one to get angry, but he grew to resent Nekoma as a whole. Not just Kuroo. He hated Nekoma almost as much as he used to hate sports.

“Uh-I made a friend-he says he plays volleyball too-“

“No shit.”

(Y/n) scoffed and walked away, presumably to go back to where everyone was. Suga and Hinata stood there awkwardly.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know...we should go back, though.”

The two boys trailed behind (y/n), deciding that he wasn’t in the mood to talk.

——————

Pt 3??? Anyone??? Lmaooo

[pridewon]

👫 suna & atsumu orrrr yukie & kuroo !

@kyubiko (relationships headcanons)

// to which I say: why not both!! these of course are only suggestions, feel free to keep and discard whatever you like or dislike or change <3

suna & atsumu

1. Suna may not want anything to do with the twins’ antics; did that stop Atsumu from systematically trying to get him on his side in any argument he has with his brother? Absolutely not. Just like Aran, in the early days of the Inarizaki team, if Suna happened to be in the vicinity when Atsumu and Osamu were yelling at each other, Atsumu would try to rope him in; and actually accuse Suna of siding wth Osamu if he as much as declared himself a neutral party. He calmed down over time and accepted Suna’s approach of “I’m not getting involved”, but it took time.

2. Suna is one of his teammates for whom Atsumu enjoys setting the most. His sets are notoriously easy to hit, and with Suna’s remarkable range and spiking flexibility, it’s a deadly combo: Atsumu always looks forward to seeing what Suna will make of his sets, especially when cornered by a wall of blockers. He will gladly admit that Suna’s spikes are the most creative in the team - an admiration that makes for a weird mixture with their more conflicted probably one-sidedly so relationship off the court.

3. With the exception of Osamu, nobody on the team knows how to provoke Atsumu better than Suna. Granted, he has a short fuse to begin with, but Suna is too observant and smart for Atsumu to keep up or anticipate his jabs. If Kita is not here to keep the peace or Osamu to distract his brother, he can most certainly get to him right away. Some would say it’s a good thing, and helps keeping Atsumu in check - Atsumu of course begs to disagree. Especially since, contrary to Osamu, Suna never seems to yell back at him, giving the impression that he is immune to his... intimidation tactics. Suna, too often, is too quiet and stoic for his liking.

4. Suna has already fallen victim to Atsumu’s thieving tendencies - even if, for a very long time, Atsumu denies stealing his jelly fruit sticks. When he finally admitted to it cornered by Aran, Atsumu claimed it was a punishment for slacking of during a match, even if Inarizaki was clearly in the lead. He has since been sentenced to bringing Suna jelly fruit sticks on the first day of training of every month. Everybody has actually forgotten about the whole ordeal, but Atsumu keeps doing it anyway.

yukie & kuroo

1. Because they’re both third years in schools within the Fukurôdani Academy Group, I’m assuming Kuroo and Yukie have met quite a few times over their three years of highschool and training camps, and know each other quite well. Like many other unfortunate souls, she has been granted a nickname: Hachidori-chan; “hachidori” meaning “hummingbird” in Japanese, he chose it because hummingbirds are one of the biggest eaters in the animal kingdom, proportionately to their size :’)

2. Her appetite is a constant source of wonder for Kuroo, who now uses every single barbecue at the training camp as an excuse to run what he calls ‘experiments’ (which solely consists in trying the weirdest food combos and trying to give them to Yukie, or having her face-off Lev or another big guy from another team in a food eating contest). Unfortunately, he also has to stop Kenma from trying to give her his veggies when Kuroo looks away - he’s gotta eat, don’t encourage his bad habits, Yukie. 

3. Kuroo and Bokuto get along very well, but they’re also buth troublemakers in their own right. I would not be surprised if Yukie sometimes ended up being caught in the crossfire of their antics - mostly being dragged by one of them to play a prank on the other or make his life difficult, one way or another. 

4. Since both Nekoma and Fukurodani are in Tokyo and both teams seem to get along well, I’ think they meet up outside of school to hang out from time to time, for group activities. On top of that, Kuroo always calls up Yukie whenever he wants to try out a new restaurant that specialises in healthy food - gotta keep that peak volleyball player physique in check, and he trusts Yukie’s judgement when it comes to gauging the quality of the meals. 

[swaggydaisy]

little ways you can save the environment

 It makes me so gosh dang sad and terrified for the future because of what’s happening to our planet today. I wanted to make this blog because I know there’s at least something on here that you can do. DO ME A FAVOR YALL AND SHARE THIS PLEASE!! It takes one person to make a HUGE impact and it takes so much more to help save our planet. Here’s a list of ideas that you can do that will make a beautiful contribution to mother earth. :) Feel free to add on in the comments if you have any ideas!

SAVING THE BEES.

So I don’t know if you guys noticed but there are less and less bees each year for some reason. I’ve done some research and you guessed it... it’s because of us. Lots of pesticides, global warming, and droughts are causing the bees to disappear. Bees are necessary for plant life because they distribute pollen and help produce 90% of our foods. No bees= no food. 

What can you do to help:

-PLANT SOME FLOWERS BABY. Attract bees by planting flowers that produce nectar and helping them provide a food source year round! check out this page to know what kind of flowers you can grow. 

https://www.planetbee.org/plant-for-pollinators

-GO ORGANIC. Pesticides are making bees super sick and humans too. Next time you’re going grocery shopping, try finding organic items. It seriously makes a difference.

-DANDELIONS AND CLOVERS IN YOUR BACKYARD. Don’t pull them out! Bees love those.

-DONATE AND SUPPORT! Help beekeepers by buying their beeswax products, (soaps, lotions, and candles) and buy organic or local honey!! If you wanna know how else to save our honeybees, here’s a link: https://thebeeconservancy.org/10-ways-to-save-the-bees/

AIR POLLUTION.

Now I know that pollution has become a regular thing and people don’t care about it so much, but uh first of all you should. Pollution is the reason why for global warming, which is destroying a bunch of habitats for a bunch of animals necessary for the food chain and possibly human life. And it also sucks breathing in disgusting air that causes other health issues. Alrighty let’s start this list. 

-LESS DRIVING AND MORE WALKING. I know, cliche. If you need to visit your neighbor, literally walk it. If you need to be somewhere less than a mile, walk it. Or bike it. hover board it. skate board it. scooter it. The less driving you do, the less carbon dioxide emits to the air and less greenhouse gases the earth traps. And more exercise baby.

-PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. Buses, carpooling, and trains helps reduce air pollution!

-SHOP WISELY. Next time when you go to the store ask yourself this: Do I need it? Are there better options than this item? (like “100% made from recyclable blah blah”) Cause if you’re going to end up throwing this item away, then you’ll create more waste which emits more CO2 in the air.

- TURN OFF LIGHTS OR USE SOLAR PANELS. this is pretty self explanatory.

-PLANTS. Now instead of saying plant trees, cause it’s lowkey kind of unrealistic for some people including me to plant a whole dang tree in my yard, I’m going to simply say plant plants that absorb air pollution. Here’s a link for some ideas of which plants you can buy:

https://www.gardencentreoxford.com/news/how-to-beat-air-pollution-with-

plants

ECOSIA. Orrrr if you still wanna plant trees you can download this extension & app called Ecosia! It’s basically like google but so much better. Basically it makes money off ads when you search something up.  And here’s the awesome part, every 45 searches they PLANT A WHOLE DANG TREE. Not only you’re helping the environment, but you are helping people who are in third world countries or live in extreme environments where its hard to find food, good water, education, and jobs. Ecosia supports all of that. DOWNLOAD IT YALL!!! I’ve planted probably about like 5 trees!

PLASTIC POLLUTION.

This is probably one of my biggest concerns. We create and throw away SO much plastic. Okay story time. literally a year ago, i was hiking with my friends and we sat down on this bench. We saw this like tiny chipmunk probably the size of my hand and he was running towards this huge grocery walmart plastic bag. And all of a sudden he shoves that whole entire bag into his mouth and we sat there with our mouths wide open. It was kind of tragic and that chipmunk probably died. And there’s a bunch of animals that consume plastic and die because they are trapped in plastic. Anyways there’s a bunch of ways that we can reduce plastic use, so let’s get on with it.

RECYCLE. Imma say it over and over again. Recycle, recycle, recycle. A lot of plastics have recycling labels on them, so recycle them as much as you can!

PICK UP YOUR JUNK. If you litter, you better change your ways my dude. If that piece of garbage travels somewhere and an animal finds it, what is the likelihood that they will eat it or get stuck in it? That’s not the only case of course, but your trash also emits CO2. Also remember this if you see any garbage that’s not yours, pick it up. It may not be your junk, but it is your planet. 

 BUY A REUSABLE WATER BOTTLE. If you guys can’t remember anything else, PLEASE REMEMBER THIS! There is more than 8 million TONS of plastic water bottles are in our oceans. An average person uses 167 water bottles per year. That is unacceptable my dudes. As you may know, plastic don’t break down easily but instead turns into micro plastic items that animals consume.  It causes starvation, and kills animals. So buy a reusable water bottle. I’ve noticed that when I have a water bottle, I drink more water and save more money. If there’s ever a chance you forget a water bottle and need a plastic one, try reusing it as much as possible.  

SHOPPING FOR REUSABLE AND COMPOSTABLE PRODUCTS. I’m probably going to make another post for this, cause the list is getting long. There’s a lot of eco-safe options to reduce plastic. Like toothbrushes, tooth paste, and toiletries. 

BEACH CLEAN UPS. If you live next to a beach, try researching about ways you can help your beach, or bring your friends to help clean the beach up. You can also help by donating to beach cleanups!

FOODS

Now don’t get my wrong, I love meat and dairy. But it’s also important that we don’t eat too much meat, cause meat and dairy emits a lottt of greenhouse gases. Transportation of this food, producing it, and then wasting it is a no no for mother nature. 

LIMIT YOUR MEAT AND DAIRY INTAKE. I’m not saying become vegan and vegetarian. Like honey, keep eating meat and dairy! It can be good for you. But maybe have a plan like oh I’m only going to eat meat twice a week now instead of everyday of the week. Or try being more considerate of a healthier diet.

SUNSCREEN.

Now, there are some arguments of whether sunscreen is affecting our coral reefs or not. But it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Studies have shown that there are chemicals called titanium dioxide, oxybenzon, octinoxate, and others are harmful to humans and coral reefs. It bleaches the corals into this ugly gray color. Coral reefs are essential to ocean life, and it’s gonna suck if the ocean is dead. 

WHAT TO LOOK FOR. Try finding sunscreens that say “Reef safe” or “reef friendly” sunscreens. sunscreens such as Coppertone, equate, and sunbum are NOT safe. Mineral sunscreens ( i don’t tend to like them cause of the white cast) and banana boat are safe. You can research this more if you want! 

okay there are plenty of ways that you can do to help the environment, but these are some of the ideas. I hope this encourages you than overwhelm you. You don’t have to be perfectly zero waste or feel the need to do all of this. We’re never going to be perfect but we can be and do better. Share this please! Please consider doing at least 1 or 2 of these. Because YOU can make a HUGE difference to our world. 

[asterinjapan]

The pilgrimage that (mostly) wasn’t

Good afternoon!

Well, sorta, I’m typing this before 6 PM so I guess it still counts as afternoon, haha.

A slightly earlier report today because, uhm, I tried to do the Onomichi temple walk. Emphasis on tried. I must confess I gave up and returned to the station, but not before seeing quite some temples anyway, so a report you shall have!

First, I had to get to Onomichi, which is in the Hiroshima prefecture. I took the shinkansen for Fukuyama (one whole stop) and then a local train for Onomichi station. I mean, sure, there’s a direct line from Okayama too, but why take that if it’s literally 3 times slower? Long live my JR pass letting me use the shinkansen, haha.

Onomichi is a coastal town along the Seta Inland sea and is connected to Shikoku island by a 60 kilometer long toll road. It’s not the only connection to Shikoku, but it is the only bridge that can be crossed by bike (a very popular cycling route) or on foot. I, uh, wasn’t going to do either of those two, but it does explain the huge amount of bikes and bike related stores here, haha.

Onomichi is also known for having a ton of slopes and even more temples. Like, if you think Kyoto is bad, try Onomichi. It’s a relatively small town, so the temples are fairly concentrated. 25 of them are connected via a 2.5 kilometer long temple walk, so I was determined to do that one today.

At the tourism information office, I got a map indicating the route, and off I took to the first temple. My eyes were drawn up first, however, because there was a small castle uphill! And no, Onomichi isn’t a historical castle town. The castle has no history, it was literally just built in the 1960s as an attraction, presumably because some guy in Onomichi went ‘guys, I want a castle’ (I mean, I can relate, so). It was closed for public in the 1990s and they’re still not sure what to do with it, but that was a fun first look, haha.

Less fun was my ability to get lost immediately. In my defense: there is a lot of signage, but I’ve read more people complaining about having trouble finding the first temple, so at the very least it’s not just me. I accidentally started an ascent I hadn’t planned to make yet, so I turned around, was greeted by a kitty giving me a confused look like ‘didn’t you just go past here’, and google mapped my way out. There are, by the way, a lot of cats here in Onomichi. I think I’ve seen more cats than temples, honestly, and there’s even a cat alley here, haha.

After a bit of a detour, I did end up at temple number one, Jikoji temple which, to be fair, was quite pretty. I took some photos here to commemorate temple 1 and then followed the signage to Komyoji temple, and I trailed off for a bit to find Kaifukuji temple as well. Three down, only 20 more to go or so! Yikes.

As I said, slopes. There was a lot of uphill walking involved, often stairs, and often steep and uneven, so uh, I’ve had nicer walks. Next up was Hodoji temple, which was close to a shrine, and also featured quite a nice statue of what I can only assume is Kannon, the Buddhist goddess of mercy (one of the very few Buddhist figures I recognize, so if that wasn’t Kannon, I’ll cry now, haha).  This temple was a bit bigger and also featured a lot of beckoning cat statues in the window of one of the buildings.

There, the route didn’t seem to line up with my map anymore. I was expecting Shingyoji temple, but I first ran into the three story pagoda of Tenneiji temple and had to backtrack to find the actual temple. It was a long way up next, orrrr I could pay for the ropeway to go up on Mount Senkoji.

Yeah, I paid for the ropeway, haha. In my defense, it gives you lovely views as you go right over the temples and pagoda.

The mountain has an observation platform, which I naturally went up in immediately. I was getting hungry and the interior of the platform teased with some tasty sounding dishes, only to find the restaurant in here closed… Great, now I really was hungry, haha. Luckily I had some bread with me, so I nibbled on that as I took up my map again. Next to the observatory I had already spotted the ‘lovers sanctuary’, which featured a bunch of those heart locks and uh, a statue of two cats in love in the middle, haha. They sure love their cats here.

Well, I was here for temples, so I went downhill for a bit to eventually find Senkoji temple. On the way, I passed a tree with a branch apparently so Instagram worthy that they had put up 2 plaques, one on each side, telling people in four different languages not to climb on it because it was dangerous. That… that must have happened multiple times. To be fair, it was a nice looking branch, but yeah…

Anyway, I found the temple! This one also gave some nice views, even if it was a bit lower than the observatory, and you had a view on the ropeway gondolas this way. I took a break here as it was possible to order green tea with a Japanese snack, so I did just that. Unfortunately, a large group of Japanese tourists had just arrived too and was uncharacteristically loud, but thankfully, they were taking a very quick-paced tour and left minutes later.

I explored the area a little more, only to find a number of very big rocks piled together that you could climb. Like, rock climb. Uhm, no thank you, haha.

I went back to the ropeway station, because I had paid for a round trip so I was getting my round trip! And it was a much longer way back down than it was back up, anyway. The way was pretty steep, but I thankfully found a French restaurant that sold waffles. Well, sold them so well they sold out… I was still hungry, so I got a plate of spaghetti with huge shrimps, which was yummy, but wayyyy too much for little old me, oops. I was not expecting the plate to be that full… But, what I did finish was good, and the view was amazing, I have to say.

I was almost back at the top, so I climbed the last couple of meters and went back to the ropeway station. Once down again, I tried to look for that temple I had missed, but it had started to drizzle, and I noticed my mood hadn’t really improved so far either. Back to the station it was!

Thankfully, there’s a flat road next to the tracks, so finding my way back was much easier and way less steep. I had to wait a little, so I scored some Hiroshima kitkat (still Hiroshima prefecture after all) and then took the train back to Fukuyama and from there, Okayama.

 So uh, that wasn’t much of a pilgrimage, but I did honestly try! I think it might have been better if the weather had been less gloomy and if I hadn’t just already climbed several hills this week, haha. A pilgrimage sure is tricky. I can only applaud everyone who did finish the entire path, because by the looks of my map, I only finished about a quarter of it, maybe a third if you count Mount Senkoji as a whole. And that’s not even mentioning people who complete the 88 temple pilgrimage of Shikoku, like, whoa!

Would I go back to retry? Maybe, but not very soon and not at the tail end of a busy week. I think I’d rather try the cycling route actually, since they also rent out electric bikes, but that also won’t be any time soon. Onomichi is very pretty though, with some lovely views to offer and plenty of museums that I completely skipped over, oops.

I’m really full from that plate of spaghetti, haha, so I’ll find something light for dinner and reserve train tickets for Saturday and probably for tomorrow, too. Saturday will be very busy, and tomorrow will be rainy, sure, but… I’m also so close to Marugame now, which houses another original castle keep, and I’m at 6 out of 12 of original castles right now… I wanna get past the halfway point… So that’s probably going to happen tomorrow, haha, although I’ve already been warned about another steep climb. Oh dear. At least it’s just for the one building instead of 25! And if that all works out, then I’m pleased to announce that so far, I’ve managed to do every single side trip that I had listed, minus the extra ones I only had as back up. I honestly wasn’t expecting that, but my only complaint is that I still wake up too early, so I’m pretty tired. Still, my legs are only slightly sore after some hectic 17 days, with not a sight of blisters or any kind of external injury. I’m impressed, well done body!

So we’ll see about tomorrow, haha, but that’s it for today.

Good night and see you tomorrow!

[briars7]

💉Fine Fellow for a Faux Friend #4💉

Hiya! Back again. Figure I should probably add ⚠️trigger warnings⚠️ and whatnot, so here you go. Mentions of death, torture, needles...who knows what all.

Gotta realize, if I’m not gonna take on a lover or one night stand, sure as anything aren’t on the lookout for a friend. Order of importance being what it is. They’re just as likely to be stabby, even if that’s made more difficult by the physical distance. Lack of emotional distance can make you just as blind. So I don’t have “friends”, and never expect to.

Doesn’t mean I won’t have a few favorite people I like to pick on. 😜

So far it’s mainly been this one other assassin, scary lady and by all rights one I should know to leave well enough alone, but never really do. One of these days I’ll break that stoic expression!! Just you wait! She tends to be gone on missions a lot seeing as how she’s one of the best at our jobs, and I was wandering the hallways looking for another muse to meddle with. Ooo! Screams! Thaaaat...is actually something I’ll leave be. Usually. Can’t save ‘em all. This guy’s were tapering off though, and eh. Maybe I’ll take that hallway to my next...undetermined destination.

Heheh! I’m in luck! A vaguely human-ish lump with matted black hair was kicked out of a doorway right in front of me. Tch. That particular door belongs to one of the assassins who likes to “experiment” with interrogative chemicals. Usually with a sadistic bend. Sometimes a subject needs encouragement to get talking, sure. But I don’t like using the drugs. We all have our methods.

Doesn’t mean I won’t carry an antidote around though! Well, it’s a sort of panacea. Basically got a small chance it’ll work the one thing you’ve been dosed with, but it’s better than nothing! I stick it in the general area where I guessed the lump’s shoulder to be...orrrr that’s his backside. Eh, it works. And that’s the end of it. Don’t care what happens to the dude from here. Based on how the assassin treated him, it’s obvious the man isn’t a pet, i.e. personal slave. Neither is he one of the staff, cause I know all of them. Whatever. Grunts like this one don’t last long, but I don’t feel like I’ve wasted perfectly good antidote. I do what I want, and the less of a reason the better. It’ll just be something else that’ll kill the guy later.

“You can thank me later, mate.”

Having done my good deed for the day, I’m off to continue my search for the next pranking victim.

🍊🍊🍊

About say a week later I’m interrupted from a catnap. Might not think it difficult to do, but I’m rarely found resting in my bedroom, you see? Annnd...I tend to fall asleep in the oddest of places. Like the belfry that’s hardly ever heard from. Don’t often have a need for ringing the massive bells here. Smaller ones are used to keep the time and trumpets harold important guests. The ones that don’t prefer to remain anonymous.

You wanna know who had the audacity to wake me up? And the intelligence to locate me...but that’s beside the point. It was Grunt! That’s the nickname I’d given him. And a few others in his position. Well well, whaddya know? He’s still alive!! Heheh! Not only that, but he was also the guy who’d gotten between me and a beating a month back. How in the world...? Usually you might have some small chance of surviving in the Citadel as a pet. Grunts like him barely last a week. I’d give him kudos for making it this long, except I’ve got my dagger keenly poised at his liver and ready to cut his winning streak short.

“Morning, sleepyhead. Brought you breakfast.”

The trickle of blood running down his abdomen didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest. Grunt held out an orange to me, his eyebrow quirking along with one corner of his mouth. Not fair! I’m supposed to be the one smirking and looking all smug, not blinking the sleep out of my eyes and grimacing. Snatching the fruit out of his palm, a glance out the window confirmed that the sun was setting and it was high time I begin my nightly prowl. Huh.

This...giant of a man...had figured out my schedule, and found one of the places I slept on rotation. No one else had managed to do the latter for sure. Had a habit of switching up sleeping patterns too, but that was redundant when my sleep didn’t last long. Oh yeah. To top it all off, he knew what I liked to eat. Like...what the fruit? Nobody bothers to find out that much about someone else unless they’re trying to kill them. Er, at least in my world. He doesn’t stand much chance in doing so, but that leads me to wonder; what’s this guy’s agenda?

I wipe his blood off on my ragged trousers and use the blade to begin peeling the citrus’s skin instead. He wasn’t the only one who’d done his research. Though I hadn’t been able to wring much from the one who’d dragged him to our hellhole. “Whatcha doin’, bringing me fruit...Derrick.”

The man winced, looking into my eyes with his gone wide. I get it. Nobody’s used his name for a while. Probably since before he got here. Grunts don’t get names. They’re called whatever deplorable term comes to mind at the moment, and expected to respond. I could understand that, in a way. My names were always a step above, but...the actual handle never used.

He gestured while his mouth worked on finding speech, “You're the one who told me to thank you. But it’s a question too. You’re also the first person who’s been nice to me.”

Grinning, I talk around the juicy slice I’m masticating, “This is a complicated piece of fruit! Not hearin’ a question, Derrrrick.”

The words seemed to explode out of him in one big rush. “Why would you do that? I won’t be your pet. Not happening. Let’s get that cleared up first.”

“Bwahaha!” Oops, think I spit out a bit of orange there. That’s where his mind went? Guess I can’t blame him, pretty much the only use most of the denizens round here would find in going out of their way to help him. Sure he’d make a good pet. Tall, built like an ox, not too bad looking—got a mouth on him though and that’d make him less desirable. Whatevssss, man. I don’t take pets. Liability. He didn’t need to know that though...right away.

“You’re missing out! I mean, look at the cool places you’d have to sleep in, the diet you’d enjoy. Wouldn’t be required to do anything toooo dirty...maybe wash the blood out of my clothes from time to time. Beats bein’ everyone’s whipping boy.”

The shifting expressions of growing determination and frustration crossing his face were too much and I ended up cackling before he could come up with a rebuttal. “I’m joshing you! Don’t have to look so uptight about it! Oh man. The look on your face though!! Priceless.” I’m gasping for a breath, maybe a bit more dramatically than necessary, but eventually his exasperated glare eases up a tad and I continue.

“Listen, Derrick. I just wanted to. Only reason I do anything...not required by a mission.” I lean back on my perch. One good shove and I’d be flying out the window though, so as relaxed as I looked, I didn’t take my eyes off of the guy. His jaw was working almost as hard as his brain had to have been, and I wonder again what his story was. How come he hadn’t bent to the rules governing this place that required subservience or been broken in their demand of the same.

You know what? I’m curious. Sort of morbid, but I’d like to see how long his mind will hold out if his body’s given a chance.

Stretching long in the sill, my hand extends to shake his. “Name’s Rapscallion, but you can call me Rap. Ever you need something, holler. Maybe not too loudly, don’t need the entire castle hearing...could get crowded if you catch my drift. You can repay me by promising not to try to kill me too. Deal?”

His icy blue eyes flick from my hand to my face and back again, acting for all the world as though I’d grown a third head and turned purple. Like I’d said, it was be a bit of a leap to think he could take out someone with my level of training and expertise, but come on. The dude’s twice my size. There’s the added detail that I’m constantly paranoid, so...this agreement I’m asking for is more cause of the latter. The muscle bound man turned around with a shrug and started the descent back down the stairs. “You got it, Rap.”

Not quite the reaction I’d been looking for, but I’d take what I could get.

Stopping suddenly, he gives me yet another strange look. “No more needles, got it? Whatever else you want to do, I hate needles.”

And off he goes. You do know what this means though, right? I’ve got a sorta friend of my very own! Far as exchanging names and a nonextermination pact can make it. Don’t care! I’m pretty psyched! Gonna be teasing the patience outta this one.

[owlmylove]

big ask, how do you make friends?(not you as in you but as in the general all of us you does that make sense?)

aight strap in kiddo. heres how to win friends and influence smiles

first: find people that seem cool, or interesting to you. this is nowhere near as high stakes as it may seem because, though you may not know it yet, you don’t have to commit to being friends with someone just because you get to know them. we all make brunch and coffee date promises that will eventually go unfulfilled, not because we’re terrible people but rather we realize we’re better suited to hanging out with others. so, tldr: find cool people and don’t worry overmuch about it

now, find a way to talk to them. this depends on A. how often you see this person annnnd B. your own confidence level.  

if you see a cool person and don’t immediately know how to approach them, the easiest way in the world to make friends is to open with a compliment and go from there. this sounds ridiculous, but I’m currently at a large university and I literally make friends every day. most of the time, that’s prompted by complimenting them. I once told a girl outside starbucks I loved how she was working that croptop, and she almost yelled with joy, complimented my hair, and demanded to ask for my instagram. if someone is in a rush I naturally don’t interrupt them, but I have stopped by other people’s tables or seats in cafés before to inform them how much I like their outfit/hair/earrings/messenger bag. after they fawn over the compliment, proceed to small talk. 

small talk takes practice. 

and thats okay! most things in life do! you’ll get better the more you do it - I swear to god I’m the proof. 

bounce off whatever response they give to your initial compliment and, most importantly (and easiest for you!) keep the focus on them. try to end most - but not every one! - of your thoughts with an open question for them to keep the conversation rolling. complimented their jewelry? (usually a v. good pick, people take pride in their jewelry. sidenote, try to compliment things people choose: clothes, books, shoes, accessories. although “you have incredible eyes!” is a great compliment, it’s awkward as an opener because it A. requires you to have looked them in the eyes for a long period of time before talking to them and B. sounds like a pick up line. [I wait until I’ve been talking to them for a while before I acknowledge how wow, I’m sorry, the light just hit your eyes and they’re gorgeous! I’m sure you get that all the time, but wow.]) 

ask them where they got their bracelet. if someone got it for them, ask about the gift-giver. if they don’t remember where they got it, laugh and say that all the best pieces in a wardrobe are the ones you forget where they came from. give an example of your own, if applicable. try bouncing from complimenting their hair to asking where they get it done and maybe make a joke about how you wish you could bring a professional negotiator to your appointments, because otherwise you’ll ask for a trim, the stylist will give you a buzzcut, and you’ll say “oh thats perfect, thanks :))” almost everyone has had that experience, I promise.

I should also acknowledge: I’m writing this as a cis female. I can (and do) compliment a lot of people, mostly women. But I’ve been told that if you’re male-presenting, then giving such compliments to people of any gender might be seen as flirting? As such, for those who don’t present as girls: give compliments in a way that feels right for you. One of the best drive-by compliments I recently got from a guy was while I was late for a performance, striding across campus, and a guy passing by just said “Hey, I love your style,” without breaking stride or trying to force a conversation. No matter what you identify as, if you’re worried someone will think you’re hitting on them be sure to keep that air of, “I don’t mind if this conversation comes to a natural conclusion.” Even if you desperately want to be their friend, desperation is easily detected and can be as uncomfortable in platonic contexts as it is in romantic ones. 

so don’t lean in too close, don’t force extended eye contact or stare, and don’t compliment any body parts unless you think you can do so without being suggestive. casually mirror their body language when possible (if they’re leaning their cheek on one arm, wait a beat or two before propping your chin up similarly) to make them feel like you’re attentive and similarly minded.

if you can immediately tell you have a common factor with a person, go for it. if someone’s reading a book you’ve read, or a book you want to read, or a book you wrote, sit sorta near them, glance their way and, acting as if you’ve just now recognized the book, ask them how they’re enjoying it. if they’re a deep reader and go “huh?” as your voice drags them up from the literary depths, give a self-effacing smile and say “Oh, I’m sorry to interrupt. That’s just one of my favorite books. How are you liking it so far?” this leads to any other question about a book you can imagine. 

ditto any t-shirt about a form of media you’re familiar with, or patch or sticker or pin. all of those are just nerd flags flying high in pursuit of like-minded people to talk to. trust me.

once you’ve made enough small talk and, if it’s working well, try finding a “to be continued” thread. could be “oh, you come to this coffee shop every morning to? well maybe I’ll see you next Wednesday then! it was nice meeting you, have a good day c:” orrrr maybe it’s “awww your dogs adorable!! here’s pictures of my pet/any other vaguely related to the conversation thing on instagram. [insert photo sharing, wait until you both stop actively looking at the photo] oh here, what’s your instagram? I’ll follow you!” open the search tab and hand it to them so you don’t have to worry about mistyping. 

also a very, very good method is to find something you can relate to the present conversation that you might not be able to immediately show. so an article, video, a picture you can’t-find-right-now, friend’s name, movie review, the name of this really cool bookstore you found in Annapolis because they mentioned they’re going there soon (if you really don’t mind bullshitting, find out where they’re traveling in the future, claim to remember a bookstore/museum/etc. you went to once, years ago and say oh shoot, what was the name? it was a pretty cool place - I’ll think of it tonight at like 2am. I can send you the name whenever I think of it if you like? [pause for answer] okay great! here, whats your number? and then go home, google some cool places, and text them a few hours later.) anything that gives you A. a way to continue this conversation and B. an excuse for not doing so immediately and, therefore, C. the chance to get their name & contact info.

now, if this isn’t just some cool-looking person you’re meeting for the first time, but someone you see regularly in a residential, academic or professional setting, start laying the groundwork for friendly vibes before you make a move. smile when you see them. if they’re a classmate, try sitting a lil closer (but not crazy close.) pay attention if they speak up in a group. if they drop something, and you don’t have to take extreme steps to do so, pick it up. if someone drops something across a lecture hall, don’t go running for it. but just close-lipped small smile + eyebrow flash when you see them and, after a few of these, try for a nod and/or a grin. if you’ve spoken to them at least once, if only to pick something up for them, you can try a “hey!/hello!” with a smile if they seem receptive to it. if you haven’t spoken to them yet, you’re welcome to try it if they seem receptive, but I usually wait.

if you don’t see this persona regularly, but semi-regularly, you need to evaluate whether the times you encountered them is significant enough for them to remember. please know this has waaay less to do with whether or not you’re memorable, and more to do with how much data our brains sort through every single day. think honestly about this, and decide this: when you eventually introduce yourself to them, would it be stranger to admit you remember the first time you both occupied the same space, or stranger to pretend to have forgotten?

I have a classmate who I vividly remember meeting for the first time, but we never really spoke until on instagram recently, 2 years later. So I never made a point of mentioning our meeting, until he actually referenced it! Then I went ahead and mentioned the highly-specific detail which made him so memorable as a question I was unsure of - “Ahaha yeah, his class was great! Weren’t you the one who _____?” 

Try never to be presumptuously confident in social settings until your conversational partner indicates it’s appropriate. It is almost always more polite to allow yourself uncertainty.

case in point: my default when friends are introducing me to people who I’ve seen around a few times is “Oh! Hello, I’m ___, haven’t we met before?” Assuming you have met before (even and perhaps especially when you know for a fact you haven’t) is SO MUCH SAFER than asking “have we met?” When they respond in the negative, we haven’t, you get to say “Oh, really? I guess I’ve just seen you around so much, I could’ve sworn we were introduced. Well, it’s so nice to officially meet you!” and then proceed with small talk, ideally including whoever your third party member is or, in the event of being one-on-one with this prospective friend, try asking them some questions about wherever you’ve been seeing them (so what do you think of our biology lecture?) OR compliments (Oh, I just noticed how awesome your watch is! where did you find that?) OR any other question you like. proceed with the small talk until one or both of you seems ready to leave, there’s a decent enough lull in the conversation, OR you’ve found a “to be continued thread” which you can string up before making your goodbyes. 

(Sorry if I’m exhausting this post with too many conversational examples, I just know how much younger, more-anxious me liked the idea of having a script to fall back upon)

don’t worry if you don’t get a contact method after the first conversation! you have spoken to the person, laid the ground work for a follow-up conversation, and that’s awesome. keep interacting with them when you see them, but be mindful of how interested they seem in interacting with you. the worst thing is to always stop and wait for a conversation when someone just wants to get on with their day. if they seem impatient, or busy, just say “hey! good to see you c:/have a good day c:/your hair looks great [insert name]!” and carry on. 

Friendships aren’t formed by constantly forcing conversations with a person. They’re formed by being mindful of those around you, considering people’s perspectives & emotions, and having a positive presence people want to be around.

you can shoot them periodic texts or DM’s, depending upon the contact method. best to start off is to send or discuss things relevant to your IRL conversation. if that starts a whole new text convo: awesome!!! if it fizzles out; let it fizzle. wait a few days/week/etc. try asking them for a book or music or coffeeshop recc, because people fucking love an invitation to offer their opinion (what do you think this novella of an answer is?) and then springboard into your own tastes, things you like and dislike, and see how well your views and tastes align. remember, talking to a potential friend is just like an interview! you may feel like you’re under examination, and need to win their attentions, but you’re interviewing them for the position too. 

finally, go ahead and invite them to hang out. you can do this waaaay earlier if you have sufficient reason/confidence to do so: if you compliment someone’s superhero shirt, and they say they can’t wait for the new movie next week, and you can’t either, say this! say you’re planning on going [insert date] if they wanna come get their mind blown with you and/or go halfsies on the pricey popcorn. 

also, naturally: if you’re in a coffeeshop and both clearly plan to be there again sometime soon, establish when you’ll see them next. when you do: don’t seat yourself at their table unless A. they invite you to or B. they’ve been clearly invested in talking with you for more than a few minutes, at which point you can say “Do you mind if I sit?” and then boom! coffee friendship!!! which is also the best way to deal with the natural, awkward pauses that come between topics - you can both reach for your cups as you think of ways to continue

But: if you don’t have the excuse of “here, wanna study for the next exam together?” or “carpool to work together?” or any of the above, go ahead and find something you think they might like too. If you have other friends who’d be down, and who aren’t super abrasive or wild or super super shy personality types, go ahead and try to make it a group hang. “Hey! Some of my friends & I are going to the movies on Friday night if you’d care to join!” orrrrrr invite them to grab coffee if that’s not where you usually meet them, or invite them to an outdoor market or some cool event (ideally with free admission!) like a live concert or gallery showing, etc. etc. 

If you only have their instagram when you first hang out with them, take a picture of them over the course of the night (not a selfie unless they ask for it.) I know how people feel about getting photographed, so I always take a bunch, tell them to try different poses, and then let them swipe through and pick their favorites for me to send them. offer the same, and tell them instagram/social media messagers kill the image quality if they don’t already know. Boom! now you have their phone number, and now they feel good about themselves bc of you. Woooo, positive correlations! if they want to take pictures of you, even if you’re squeamish around cameras, go ahead, laugh and let them go for it. otherwise, refusing the picture skews the friendship towards their ego, and suggest, if only subconsciously, that you like them more than you like yourself. 

from then on, it should be pretty smooth! see how the hang out goes, decide whether you want to keep hanging with them (as I said, you have that right!) and then text them when you want to. and as you spend more time interacting with them, and grow more comfortable, you might have some of Friendship Bonding Moments™ I’ve encountered. such as: being told I played a minor role in someone’s weirdly vivid dream, anytime someone sent me a post/song/video/article of clothing/picture of a dog and said it reminded them of me, sending me a new song they love and demanding I listen to it, asking for my opinion on what they’re going to wear tonight, and/or whether they should post a picture to instagram, someone randomly calling me up to say they’re headed to my favorite diner at 2am, do I want to come? (~Just College Things~), telling me they made extra dinner/food/baked goods and do I want some?

and then, congrats! you have made friends! if you really like them, and enjoy this sincerely and/or ironically, feel free to make them a friendship bracelet to immortalize the event once you feel comfortable enough with them

(although I have also promised to make friendship bracelets for people I have just met + had very positive conversations with, preceded by “Okay, that’s it, we’re friends now. You can expect your friendship bracelet in 3-5 business days.” and they all, without fail, freak out over the mere thought of a friendship bracelet and the implication that we are now officially friends. this works on people I met like, less than 5 minutes ago. it’s also really easy to say “you can expect your friendship bracelet in 3-5 business days. Here, what’s your instagram/phone number? I’ll text you!” bear in mind: don’t be presumptuously confident. gauge their level of enthusiasm before you ask for their contact details, or take the joke too far. but know that most will almost immediately say yes, because even adults who may laugh at the thought are still just little kids deep down, and everyone wants a friend to like them enough to make them a friendship bracelet)

if you’re looking for more than just casual friends: time, conversations and empathy all help to turn casual acquaintances into friends you can trust & rely upon. asking how they’re doing if it seems they’re having a rough day and actively listening, offering advice (only if they want it) or food or an indulgent stress relief hang out, or asking (one of the rare times presumptuousness is okay!!) if they wouldn’t mind letting you vent about a coworker or something frustrating - any time you encourage them to emotionally share with you, or you offer to share your emotions with them, will help solidify your friendship. as much as I hate admitting when I’m sad to my close friends, those that I do admit it to are the ones I trust & rely upon the most.

finally, most importantly and, yes, most clichédly: be yourself. The more a friend learns about you, the deeper the friendship. Never lie about yourself for the sake of impressing a friend, or all that effort you’ve put into making a friendship will be built on false grounds. you’ll never be comfortable or relaxed around someone you have to act around, so don’t! if someone doesn’t like you for you, they’re not worth your friendship in the first place. I may sound like Dr. Seuss or Hallmark, but I’m serious. 

Okay cool, so it’s 4:33 am and I should be studying for me french final in 6 hours, but hey, here’s like 3,000 words of rambly social advice and scripts. should I write a book about this? I feel like I could write a book about this. Hmm. Maybe thats just the espresso & caffeinated chocolate talking. please weigh in on book or nah in the comment section below

Anways, I hope with every fiber of my sleep-deprived soul that some small part of this goliath answer could help you! And if, in my stupor, I outlined every possible scenario except the ones you actually needed to know about, don’t hesitate to let me know and I’ll try my best to assist. Now go forth, make friends, and be you! ♥

[newsiegirlscout]

Nerdsitting

Tagging time! As well as explaining what the heck I’m doing with this mess of a fanfiction! Yeah!

@vizivoir, Special delivery! (They asked to be tagged so as not to miss it, and tagged they will be!) 

@sugarandmemories, I may or may not have borrowed your Melvin’s insomnia, neglectful parents ((Yeah, guys. In the books, they actually were there, they just didn’t pay much attention to him. He even switches off the “Dramatic Effects” on the Combine-o-Tron so as not to wake them up.)), and slight eating disorder. Ahaha..the chance was too good to pass up.  Please don't sue. :) ;)

As for what I’m doing, I don’t really know. It’s fluff. It has George and Harold subliminally taking care of Melvin...you know, making him eat something, cheering him up when he’s down, getting him off that good ol’ polyphastic sleep schedule. Ergo, Nerdsitting. Enjoy!

Melvin Sneedly had just wanted to pick up the latest issue of Scientific American at the Hobnobs Comix Shop downtown before the quality deteriorated or the magazines sold out. Was that so hard to ask?

Apparently, according to the universe, it was.

When a bald, portly man wearing nothing but his underwear and a red polka-dotted cape fell out of the sky and dropped to one knee, Melvin completely lost his train of thought and instead decided to take a tentative step back. On the man’s back, two of the more mischievous students in his class beamed back at him, giving a polite wave.

“Hey, Melvin!” George chimed.

“Do you always greet people this way?” He wheezed, slamming one hand to his chest in shock.

“What, ‘Hey’ and then his name? Dude, is this a trick question?” Harold said softly, tugging George’s shirt.

“I think he means on the back of a superhero wearing nothing but his underwear and a polka-dotted red cape.” the boy responded. Climbing off, he gestured regally to the caped crusader, followed closely by his best friend.

“Melvin, this is Captain Underpants. You may remember him from that time you tried to rid the entire school of laughter.” George said. Captain Underpants stood up and gave a happy “thumbs-up” at his cue.

“Anyway. We thought we’d stop by. Didn’t think we’d see you at the comic store! What’cha getting?” Harold added.

Taking another step back, Melvin clutched the strap of his backpack instinctively before responding.

“I was just going to see if I could acquire the latest copy of Scientific American before it sold out...but now, I think I’ll go home and take my chances tomorrow.”

“Ah, that’s a shame, young nemesis,” Captain Underpants chimed in, “For my amiable sidekicks and I might provide delightful company in your education! Why, they themselves have documented several episodes of my life in this praiseworthy format!”

“You mean the comic books they sell on the playground, in which I tend to be frequently incriminated as some sort of nerdy villain against laughter?”

“Sidekicks! You didn’t tell me that you knew the one and only Anti-Humor boy personally!” he gasped excitedly. “Will you sign my cape?” he said to Melvin with a slight bounce.

Melvin shrugged and produced a black Sharpie from his pocket, much to the delight of the hero. Walking around him, he wrote out “Anti-Humor boy” in his careful cursive, then patted the delighted captain on his back.

“Now, off to Dumb Stupid Nerd Jail for you!” he cheered, hooking his fingers into the startled scientist’s neckband.

“Captain Underpants! Melvin...received time off for good behavior! He’s totally cool now!” George blurted in a panic, pressing the side of his sneaker into his ample stomach as if he were trying to stop a wild colt. To Melvin, he added, “Sorry, man. You..wanna come hang out with us for a while? We have a tree house!”

“It’s a pretty cool tree house.” Harold added, cracking a grin.

“Ummm...yeah, I still think I’ll pass. Call me again when I’m in the mood for getting made fun of for a full hour or two.” he said, walking off.

“Aww, Melvin, don’t be like that! Isn’t your house like, two miles away, anyway? We can totally give you a ride to the amazing Tree House Comix Inc., you can chill with us, spend a few hours playing Tetris or drawing nerd comics or something, and then we could take you back home!” Harold explained, hastily putting brown, white, and light orange button-eyed socks on his hands and right foot respectively to illustrate his vision. (The tangerine sock, Melvin noted, even sported a sported a tiny black bow tie and ginger woolen hair.)

“Or,” he continued as George gave Melvin a look that seemed to reveal that Harold had drawn out points with improvised sock puppetry before, “You could get your magazine and go back home.” The light orange sock puppet, to Melvin’s amusement, switched places with Harold, tucked a tiny bubblegum comic that he supposed was supposed to be the four hundred and fifty-third issue of Scientific American under his cotton arm and left, leaving sock puppet George and Harold giving each other blank expressions.

“You’d want to read it as soon as possible, but put it in your bag so you wouldn’t walk in front of a bus or something, and then you’d walk two sad endless miles without a friend, sadly listening to-you were listening to music, right?-sad music as you trudged home. Sadly.”

To emphasize this point, Harold took an extra few steps away from Captain Underpants for some unknown reason, then poured a miniature watering can over a dejected sock puppet Melvin, accompanied by a melancholy classical tune from his phone.

“And then you’d get home,”

The music stopped and the watering can was thrown to the side.

“Read the magazine, and die of sadness and boredom, and that’s why you need to hang out with us and have a ton of fun today!”

Melvin smiled slightly and shook his sock puppet counterpart’s hand.

“Deal.”

“To the Underwear Cave!” Captain Underpants cheered, kneeling down again.

“He means to our tree house.” Harold whispered, swinging back onto the superhero’s back and offering his hand to Melvin, who took it gratefully. 

On the ride back, George and Harold filled him in on everything. 

“Okay, so..Captain Underpants can’t get water on his head. Don’t ask.”

“He’s also a total goofball and wants to fight crime whenever possible. As in, if you have five extra minutes, he’ll be convinced that there’s some sort of crime going on somewhere. And there usually is...it’s kinda like how the little kid summoned all the demons to the hotel with his sixth sense in that one movie? Yeah, like that.”

“You okay, Melvin? You look a little freaked out...I know, the first ride is always a bit weird. You ever jumped out a window and slid down a lamppost before?”

“Why would I ever have done that? I mean...Oh no. Don’t tell me that you two have done that. Scratch my last question, how many times did you do that?”

“Um...a lot?” Harold laughed nervously, “Uh...do you wanna text your parents, let ‘em know you’re at our place?”

“They’re working late at the lab all week. Ciana and I are left to fend for ourselves, I’m afraid.” 

“Oh. I see. Well, that’s great, because we’re already here!” Harold said, giving another flourish to the tree house. Several mechanisms were affixed to various places, presumably meant to help one scale the tree in a much more complicated way than necessary. 

“How fast does Captain Underwear fly, exactly? Because this seems less like coincidence that we landed right now, and more like lazy writing on the author’s part.” Melvin said, adjusting his bow tie.

“Yeah...she does that. Consider your flight twice as fast with the right dialogue!” Harold said, ably climbing up the wooden steps, followed closely by George, then Melvin. Once inside, Harold excitedly pointed out the sleeping bags, mini fridge, comic gallery, television, and gaming system. 

“Oh...wow.” Melvin responded, his hazel eyes flashing with jubilee.

“So...what’cha wanna do?” 

“Well, you wouldn’t happen to have a deck of cards around, would you?”

George cocked his head, surprised by the ginger’s simple request. “Um..yeah, we have cards!” he said, withdrawing a deck from his pocket, “I should warn you though, I hold a pretty tight spot as Go Fish champion.”

“Oooh, Billy’s pretty good at Concentration, too.” Harold added. 

“Do either of you know how to play poker? I mean, not necessarily for gambling reasons, but...” he paused to withdraw a small drawstring sack from his bag, pulling the cord and tipping it over the floor to reveal a shimmering stream of chocolate coins, a small confectionery fortune by his feet, “for chocolate coins?”

“Awww, bro! This is probably the best thing you’ve ever done! No offense, I just...didn’t think you’d go for gambling and stuff. Even fake gambling. Or chocolate. Orrrr fun.” Harold said, his voice dropping off as he twisted his hands against his shirt.

A week before his third-grade graduation, Melvin looked up from his book to see a group of children in the cafeteria trading candy cigarettes. “Hey! You four are violating Rule #7,438: Section Five: ‘Smoking of cigarettes on campus is strongly prohibited! Note: Even if they aren’t lit! Note: Even if they’re candy cigarettes!’ I’m telling!”

“Awww, man.” They said, tucking the packs into their lunchboxes dejectedly. 

*****

“Well, I’m up for it in any case.” Harold responded, “I’m also about to go get a sandwich-either of you two want one?”

“I’ll take one!” George said, fanning out the deck, “I’m starving!”

Melvin politely declined, earning a look of confusion from both of the troublemakers. The truth was, in fact, that he had been so caught up with his studies that he hadn’t eaten in days; even when he and his sister ordered dinner, he would take a slice of pizza up to his room, then generally put it on top of a bookshelf, forget about it, and leave it for Danderella. At school, he never so much forgot his lunch as the desire to eat it; every time since Monday, he had felt a peculiar weight in his stomach, telling him to stuff it in his locker, to give it to somebody else, just to continue with his extra-credit assignments. That was the important thing, most of all-the extra credit was worth it, worth the fatigue and distorted rhythm of his perfected order to life, worth the trembling in his legs, all for the extra plus on his A’s, the smiles on his teachers’ faces, the extra cache he relied on when he stuttered during an oral report or rushed his penmanship in a five-page essay, earning him a docked half-point or so. 

Besides, eating was a waste of time that could be better dedicated to his research.

Still, Harold came back a few minutes later carrying an extra dish between the two in his hands, the rim meticulously balanced on the edges of the other two. Propping one knee under the paper plates, he passed out the sandwiches to all three of them in turn. 

“For Monsieur George”, he said, faking a French accent, “Your peanut butter and gummy worm sandvich, vith cold can of ze finest Mountain Dew, as well as light side of chips.” 

“Why, Mr. Hutchins, this is a rather delightful spread.” George said, feigning the voice of a luxuriously wealthy diner in a black-and-white film.

“And for Monsieur Melvin, ve have ze freshly pressed grilled cheese sandvich vith Dr. Pepper and chips. How do you like?” 

Melvin took the tray and aligned the neatly cut sandwich to a more aesthetically pleasing angle relative to the soda and Doritos bag. “Oh, uh..thanks for the sandwich I didn’t actually ask for?”

Harold broke out of his waiter impression for a moment. “Sorry, I didn’t explain this one. It’s a goofy tradition we have- you have to respond in a fancy accent.”

Melvin nodded slightly, then replied in a Russian voice, “Okay, I get it now. But my waitering friend, I have not placed an order!”

“Ah, vell, I fear ve have made an extra sandvich anyhow. So..you might as well take it, compliments of ze Tree House Gahden-Gahdens.” 

He grinned and sat down at his place, carefully arranging his hand of cards and setting down his own tuna salad-chocolate chip-miniature marshmallow sandwich with Sprite and Fritos. 

Melvin took a bite of the sandwich, and it tasted like...well, like a regular grilled cheese sandwich, but like something more at the same time. Something he hadn’t felt in a long, long time. 

“Did you use oregano in this?”

Harold winked, swallowing a bite of his own lunch before speaking. “Original Hutchins recipe.”

#########

“So, Melvin...do you have a hobby besides Science-y stuff and card games?” George asked.

“I make papercraft modules, play World of Warcraft, collect little tin cars, alphabetize everything, sort laundry by color in rainbow order, lightest to darkest...lots of stuff. Why?” he asked. 

“Eh. Just seeing if you do anything cool. Which you don’t.”

“What?”

George shrugged. “I call ‘em like I see ‘em.”

“O-kay...so, what do you two do for fun, besides card games, getting into trouble, and making comics?”

“Not much. Mostly just laugh at silly stuff and hang out in the club house. Skateboarding. Watching TV. Playing video games. That sort of thing.”

“How did you hook a television up to your club house?”

“Oh, it’s pretty interesting, actually!” Harold interjected, “You see, Mr. Beard built the basic layout, but one summer we actually earned so much money from odd jobs that we bought a second-hand television from somewhere, screwed a power outlet to the underside of the house, and hooked it up ourselves! Creative thinking, huh?”

“Mm-hmm..” Melvin said distractedly. “You two realize we’ve spent four and a half hours playing card games, video games, and goofing off?”

“Welcome to summer vacation, genius!” he said, nudging the scientist in the shoulder.

“Yeah..but it’s a two-hour walk back to my house, and given the time-” he paused to gesture to the hands on his watch cocked at 10:28-”I should probably start heading back. So, if you’ll excuse me-” he started to climb down the wooded steps of the tree house- “I’ll go. Thanks for having me over.” 

“Hang on!” Harold said, jumping off the top platform, grabbing one of the sturdier branches, and gently sliding down to the grass, “I’ll ask my dad to give you a ride! We’ve never seen your house anyway-is it like, a mansion or something?”

George straddled the rope of the tire swing and slid down, remaining on top of the tire. “Yeah, maybe it’s a science lab! Or an apartment!”

Harold looked at his black-haired friend peculiarly. 

“How is an apartment interesting?”

“It could be a nice apartment!” he retorted. “Or maybe one with a ton of secret passageways and a chocolate chandelier!” 

“I live in a pretty boring house, you two.” Melvin chuckled softly, “Though of course, I wouldn’t decline a ride, if it wouldn’t bother your parents too much.”

“Oh yeah, no! Not at all!” George responded, running inside and reemerging with his father, who ruffled Melvin’s hair with only a slight bit of annoyance not directed at him, but rather, at being interrupted while he was reading his favorite novel. (And he’d just gotten to the good part, too.)

“So, you’re the Sneedly kid who needs a ride, right?”

“Yes, sir. I apologize for bothering you this late, just-”

“Well, there’s no need to apologize, little fella! My son says you live way out of this neighborhood, is this true?”

“Well, yes, you could say that.” he responded, fingering the edge of his pressed sweater.

“May I ask for your address?”

“It’s 1123 Wilson Way, sir.”

“Oh, okay! Well then, you boys buckle up for the Beardmobile! Harold, do you want a ride home too?”

The blond giggled slightly at the question, almost involuntarily. “Yes, Mr. Beard. Thank you!”

############

He had expected the trip to be awkward, that he’d be staring at his hands the whole way until George’s father let him off, but after forty-five minutes of conversation, Melvin found that he didn’t mind it so much after all.

When they finally stopped at the address, the mischief-making duo stepped out after him, each giving some sort of salute to their chauffeur.

“Are you two planning to move in?” Melvin asked bemusedly, “ Because I’m not sure you quite fit the...atmosphere.”

In unison, George and Harold both bowed deeply to the ginger, acting the part of a high-class attendant. 

“Vy, Mr. Sneedly, ve came as escorts to see your fancy house!” George said, faking the second faux French accent and hooking his arm in Melvin’s.

“It is the least ve could do for a friend in need at-” Harold said, taking the boy’s skinny wrist gently in his hands and glancing at his watch-”11:15 at night!”

Melvin rolled his eyes and smiled. 

“ Vous êtes deux fous. Je suis honoré d'être considéré comme votre ami.”

“...I have no idea what you just said.”

#########

Up in his bedroom, the boys dropped their arms and simultaneously dropped to one knee, giving an over-dramatic grand sweeping gesture.

“Your room, Mr. Sneedly?” Harold said, cracking a grin.

“Yes, yes, you have both been fine escorts. Now please, leave so I may continue research.” he said, in imitation of a wealthy person while struggling not to smile.

“Ah, but school starts at like, 6:00 AM! Surely, you’d want to get more than forty minutes of sleep tonight?”

“I’m not even going to ask how you got my polyphastic sleep schedule down.”

“Tough luck, sport.” George said, doing a bad impersonation of his father, “The, um, school code or something says that even crazy mad scientists with flammable chemicals and miniature robots have to sleep longer than the car ride it took to get here.”

“Yeah, and if you don’t, then...uh..we’re going to hypnotize you!” Harold said, his thumb rubbing his bare index finger instinctively.

“What? Bro, we might accidentally turn him into Doctor Octopus or something!” George whispered.

“Yeah, he already did that. Remember that Octopus-robot thing he had a while back? Good point, though.” Harold whispered back.

“Sooooo you’re both going to stay..in my room...while your dad waits outside...until I go to sleep?” Melvin asked.

“Yup! We can even give you a mild dose of sleeping powder if you’re going to be all stubborn and stuff!” Harold chuckled.

“Either you broke into the White House or the stuff you have doesn’t work. And I’m going to guess you-”

Harold tore open a waxy paper packet, shook the contents into his palm, and blew it gently towards the boy, who stood his ground rambling about the homeostatic process and cytokines while visibly becoming more exhausted as he spoke. Before long, he fell asleep on the spot, and the ten-year-old bit his lower lip and pressed his hand against his heart. 

“Awww, he looks so adorable when he’s asleep!” he murmured softly.

“Did you just drug Melvin? Because, I know this is a bit hippo-critic-y, but we could probably get in a lot of trouble for that.”

“Nah, it’s corn starch. But since we told him it was sleeping powder, it actually worked-I think that’s called the Placenta effect.’’

 Turning to George, he rattled off instruction with surprising authority.

“Alright. You, get his shoulders, and I’ll get his feet. We’ll lift on three..” 

Together, they tucked him under the oddly-unwrinkled sheets, George taking off his glasses and propping them up on his nightstand as an afterthought before they ran downstairs beaming and jumped into the “Beardmobile”.

“Did we just nerd-sit?” Harold laughed.

“Yeah...I think we did!” George responded, holding out his fist expectantly.

“Nerdsitting.” The two said once more, fingers dancing in the cool night air as they pulled apart.

FIN!

Haha, sorry for another Author’s Note down here. Just wanted to point out, that, if anyone was wondering, Melvin’s French translates roughly to “You’re both fools. I’m honored to be considered your friend.” 

Pandafish!

[apprxmtn]

this is a draft i found on my college wgs.111 wordpress, dated may 4, 2016, that i suppose i was too afraid to post, and i guess i keep all my writing on tumblr, and no one will read this, so

on street harassment:

this is just a lot of personal thoughts sorry

---

i stayed quiet during the discussion on street harassment - it's not something i've personally experienced often, so i wanted to respect the space and experiences of those who were sharing. personally, i feel that a non-threatening tone and respect for someone's space make the statement more of a compliment than harassment, but i also believe that men should understand and respect that some women are not comfortable being approached by any men due to past experience and real danger, and that sure it sucks for them, but if they care that much about being able to compliment women on the street, they should be also working to eradicate misogyny and rape culture amongst their peers. i do believe street harassment is a serious issue that reflects a widespread culture of men feeling entitled to women's bodies. the following is just a reflection of my experience alone (not a reflection of all of my thoughts on street harassment).

as a not-particularly-attractive-but-still-feminine-looking person, the feminist movement's rhetoric surrounding street harassment - "every woman has a story of harassment!" etc - has really alienated me and is one of the myriad reasons i decided to identify as nonbinary, because so many of these "universal women's issues" just don't apply to me. i actually considered interning for hollaback last year, but didn't feel comfortable working on street harassment when i wasn't even attractive enough to be harassed. (not to mention hollaback's myriad other issues - the video we watched, the boston chapter actually separated from them and formed a new group (the safe hub collective), the head of hollaback has been criticized for the way she treats employees and the organization... anyway.) the face(s) of the feminist movement itself even seems to often be these conventionally attractive women that make me feel unwelcome or inadequate as a feminist activist. and i do think there's some merit to this concern - conventionally attractive people are more likely to be listened to, and of course this distinction is worse for women than for men.

i think the feminist movement has been particularly vocal about these issues that affect conventionally attractive women the most. street harassment is about power, but it is also about men finding a woman attractive, as the poor "men's justifications" we saw in class show. on the flip side, the fat and body positive movements have been vocal about the issues that affect fat women - the inverse, rather than "compliments", fat women have spoken out about on-face insulting street harassment, often the insinuation that she is taking up too much space and doesn't deserve to be in public, eat certain things, or dress a certain way. women or feminine-coded people like me who aren't really on either end, i find, are sort of invisible, both in the movement and in real life. in my experience, i have quite often felt literally invisible. people have looked over and through me, walked into line as if i wasn't there, etc. for context, i'm not exactly a quiet person but i am pretty shy in public and in large groups. but this experience isn't something i've seen other people write about - i haven't seen any thinkpieces about daily experience by average-looking women. perhaps there's something to be said about women being either objects of desire, objects of ridicule, or invisible - but i don't know, because i don't know if other women have this experience, because no one talks about this.

to be honest, the four (exactly four, all within the ages of 18 and 20) times i have been harassed or politely approached by men on the street, part of me has always appreciated it. as someone who has struggled with body image and general appearance for years, it is actually nice to know that someone out there finds me to be attractive. in the cases where i've been yelled at (2/4), i've been like, wow that's totally rude and misogynist, but hey at least i look good today? in the cases where i've been politely approached (2/4), i almost wish we'd kept talking. there's this sort of romantic-narrative-trope of two people meeting in a cafe, finding each other mutually attractive, and then finding true love or even just a fling or whatever, and i know women who have met and casually/seriously dated men they met at parties, concerts, etc. for once, i really want to have a relationship with someone where there's mutual physical attraction - despite finding the men i've been involved with fine as people, that has literally never happened to me. there's also this common argument where men are like "ugh, women have it so easy! they can literally have any guy they want" which really only applies to conventionally attractive women, which again, makes me think that ordinary-looking-women are just invisible in men's eyes and minds. one guy i was briefly involved with literally told me that women have to meet a "certain standard of attractiveness" to be dateable - but that standard must have been pretty low, because he also told me i should lose weight.

i know this sort of sounds like me whining that i can't find a boyfriend, but i have been in a very happy relationship (and an open one, so...)  for over two and a half years now. that isn't the point of this. the point of this is (yes, partially a rant, but mostly) to point out the diversity of women's experiences that are often overlooked, but could provide for some rich analytic material and reveal something about our culture - orrrr to ascertain that maybe i'm the only one who feels this way.

i don't know. i guess i just want to see if anyone else has felt this way, because in all my years of trawling the feminist-leaning interwebs i have never, ever seen anyone write about this experience.

addendum: like i said, i can count the times i've been harassed or even politely approached by men on the street on one hand. in fact, i can write them all down for you, in detail.

the first time was the summer after my senior year. i had just turned eighteen and was sitting outside of starbucks by my high school (in a rich, predominantly white and asian neighborhood). if i recall correctly i was wearing a cardigan, a bland top, and shorts. when a man (probably around thirtyish years old) came up to me. he asked me what kind of ipad i had (i had been working) and about how it worked, as he was interested in buying one. then he complimented my nail polish (?! of all things), said he had seen me while working, and that i looked "all hipster and stuff." he asked how my summer was going, i told him i was going off to college, he said "oh so you're eighteen?" and i confirmed. (that should've been the warning sign, but this had never happened to me before!) after a couple more minutes of small talk, he said he lived about 20 minutes away and asked if i wanted to hang out sometime, and i said i was pretty busy for the rest of the summer getting ready for school and catching up with friends, he said alright well nice talking to you, and left. it was overall a very polite, if not pleasant, encounter.

the second time was in my second week of college. my friends and i had just gone to a waterfight on the charles as part of rush week, and as our clothes were soaked in nasty charles river water and literally attracting flies, we all decided to take our shirts off. two guys and i were walking back by the train tracks, and an old man (probably one of the homeless ones that lives behinds simmons?) yelled "hey, where can i get some of that?" to my friends' credit they quickly grabbed me, one of them held my hand in a fake-boyfriend act and we sped away. i would definitely file this encounter under harassment, but given that i was actually walking around in a bra, which isn't socially acceptable (another conversation in itself, obviously), i don't consider it to be evidence of an "everyday" phenomenon or even particularly unwarranted.

the third time was the fall of sophomore year, in the harvard yard starbucks. i don't remember what i was wearing, but i was on my way to a meeting for work and it was october, so it was probably fairly professional and covered-up. i was waiting for my drink, when the guy next to me tapped me on the shoulder, and said "excuse me? i just wanted to tell you you're really pretty." taken completely aback, i awkwardly said, "uh, thanks? i mean, i'm like five feet tall, so not much to work with?" he didn't really respond or try to engage me in further conversation. i don't think this was harassment at all, and in fact, i really appreciated it and it made me a little happier for the rest of the day, and i wished we had kept talking. i still think about it sometimes, and i'm like, damn, a stranger thought i was attractive once, so it's possible! anything can happen!

the fourth and final time was in a metro station in downtown LA, the summer before junior year. it was summer in LA and ridiculously hot, so i was wearing a tank top and short shorts, and sandals with a .5-inch heel. as i was walking across the fairly empty bus circle, someone shouted, "damn look at those legs!" i looked around and saw another man, but no other women. i was really confused because, again, i'm five feet tall (maybe the 0.5 inch of heels helped?). i'd definitely classify this as harassment, but personally, i didn't feel in danger as i was on my way to a crowded subway station, and actually part of me took it as a compliment, because for years i would wear jeans in the hottest of los angeles summers because i was so self-conscious about the way my legs looked.