#“right now” experience

[honeybee-thoughts]

Suddenly starting to use Tumblr because both your girlfriend and your new favourite character are obsessed with it is honestly a vibe

[xandrikart]

[notbrucewayne48]

"aphobia doesn't exist"

bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it

[severalowls]

Its absolutely no coincidence that the people being sent baseless sexual assault accusations against predstrogen have, from what I've seen, been young transmascs.

The terfs behind the harassment campaign are so brazenly trying to prey on anybody they reckon might have any transmisogynist tendencies and are trying to use that to sow discord in the trans community. They see transmasculine people as potential avenues for recruitment (and eventual detransition) and it's extremely fucking important that the people being sent these anons do not fall headfirst for the bait. They want you to go 'uh oh, guess trans women are sex pests after all' and that to stick with you and fester, and turn that seed of prejudice into the continued harm of transfem people.

If you want to be a meaningful ally to transfem people right now you have to be vigilant for this shit, and correct it where you see it. If you think being used as an angle of recruitment by bigoted harassment is gross, imagine how it would feel to be the damn focus of the harassment.

[transmascissues]

if you’re young and transmasc and the people in your life haven’t been great about the whole thing and you’re starting to feel like it might be easier to just give up and pretend to be the person they want you to be, i need you to hold on. because the thing is, one second you’re 16 and a future where you get to make decisions about your own body and life feels so impossibly far away and you can’t imagine living like this for that long, but then you blink and it’s been six years and you’re in your car with the music blasting and your voice is lower than the guy in the song’s and your hair is long for the first time in a decade because you’re finally confident enough to grow it out again on your own terms and your chest hasn’t been weighed down in months and it’s the freest you’ve ever felt in your life and i promise it will be worth the wait. don’t give up on yourself.

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

[motherwench]

jeanette lee, a brooklyn-born pool player nicknamed the “black widow” for her tendency to wear all black outfits and “lure [her] opponents to the table and eat them alive.” some of my favorite photos of her :)

her vogue article here. sports illustrated article here.

photo creds: 1 - drew endicott via vogue. 2. 3. 4.

[teaboot]

I have decided that from now on when people jokingly speculate about highly personal experiences I'm just gonna answer honestly until it stops

Like yeah Shannon my parents did hit me growing up, would you like to sit down and talk about how that was a formative experience or did you want to tell me something with your big girl words

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[wolfythewitch]

oh you're aroace :3 I don't mean to pry but, how like, did you figure it out ? or maybe how is it like? I'm pretty sure that what I m but it's... been confusing me for a while I just don't know how to know if that makes any sense TvT

Anyhow, take care have a good day :3

I still have no idea tbh. But I never really cared about attraction and romance and I still don't. I rarely think about it in context of myself and as far I know I've never felt romantic or sexual attraction. So for now it's the label that fits haha

[ambriel-angstwitch]

Katara: Would you still love me if I was a worm?

Aang: Of course I would! And if you were a worm, then I'd be a worm too. We would live in the dirt and make the flowers grow and get worm married and have worm kids.

Sokka: Would you still love me if I was a worm?

Zuko: Sokka, what in Agni’s name are you talking about?

[trans-whitestorm]

Sorry for two posts in one day but um Uhh uhm wh. Whitetiger. Yeah

[boytransmission]

i love how butches can be fully clothed in denim and heavy cotton tees or flannels and that’s our lingerie

[tapakah0]

Animation commission I guess...

Um... ha-ha, okay, it has been stuck in my head for the whole month, but if I will keep it any more I will explode, I need to busy my brain even more I'd like to take an animation commission. Like, a fully colored, shaded, with lightning, with in-betweens, with the clean line (and background). Up to 5 seconds depending on what you want to get I guess the price may start from 250$ and be higher or less depending on complexity of the details, character or movement (<- of course everything will be negotiated) I never took such commissions before so please be patient with me since I might spend even months ha-ha (really wanna beat this fear of taking something more complex) But I will do my best since it will be first experimental time for me 1. Payment via Boosty after acceptance of the sketch animation (very rough idea) 2. I think I can draw mostly anything (but won't 18+, guro and I can decline something if I feel like I will not like to do it) 3. You must have a reference of the character, I'm not ready to work with something that doesn't have a ref to start working right away 4. Please, properly think of what you'd like to see, I will not make 3 different rough animations of different ideas because you suddenly had another idea ;~;; 5. Note me in dms if you'd like to take commission... (I'd like to move to discord later since it's more comfortable in here) Uh... I have only this as a more or less proper example (it was based on amazing storyboard by yeye23)

Okay, I'll just leave it here if someone really will be interested and will delete if it if it will be decided.... I just feel like my brain is dying if I don't have an enjoyable/stressful more complicated work on a side that demands an attention from me. Have a nice day

[mobius-m-mobius]

It's a pretty cool name.

Loki + the progression of saying Mobius' name for @percheduphere

[elcucurucho]

slimecicle baghera cellbit addicted to losing their voices screaming karaoke so loud it’s picking up on the mic four rooms away vs tubbo addicted to streaming qsmp full setup on the floor no desk no chair just a dream. everything seems normal here