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metalhoops · 1 year

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Steve’s party trick was appearing sober long past the point of inebriation.

It was an act he’d perfected through observation. He’d watched his mother down wine like water and waltz into a garden party looking sober as a saint. So when everything went down at the Starcourt Mall, with the drugs and the appearance of another burgeoning concussion-induced migraine fogging the edges of his vision, he’d pushed through with professional tact.

Steve couldn’t explain how it happened. One moment he was sitting on the kitchen counter, cradling a bag of frozen peas to his bare face, freezer burn nipping at the edges of his consciousness, and the next he was sprawled out on the carpet of a stranger’s house.

What happened in between, he’d never know.

Maybe it was for the best. Ignorance was bliss, in Steve’s opinion. His life was so much easier before the Upside Down. He would’ve been a worse person and lived a worse life. Yet his life would’ve been close to normal, not the mercurial mess it’d become. He wouldn’t have spent the night locked in a secret underground soviet bunker, his face doubling as a punching bag for a man he didn’t know, while monsters roamed about the town.

The mall had burned down, Steve remembered. After all was said and done, Mrs Byers dropped him and Robin off at their respective homes. Steve insisted he didn’t need to go to the hospital, that he was fine and, more importantly, that his parents were home. When Robin sobered up, she’d realise Steve had lied.

He’d told Robin a lot of things, and after the night in the mall, so had she. She knew Steve’s parents had been out of town for months, but she’d been flying too high to use any of her admittedly brilliant brain to put two and two together. Steve loved Robin. He loved her differently after that night, but he still loved her. He was human. He needed time to lick his wounds and some space. The quiet of the Harrington house had seemed like a blessing, so where the hell was he now?

“Hey, what did you take?” A vaguely familiar voice shook Steve from his stupor.

He rolled away from the sound, burying his face in the carpet. He cringed as a spark of pain shot through the veiled numbness that’d inhabited his body since the Russian drugs had hijacked his system.

“Ouch,” Steve grumbled miserably.

His head throbbed. One eye was entirely swollen shut. Even if Steve was sober, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to place the boy through his hazy vision. All he could make out were colours, pale skin, dark hair, and darker clothes.

“I know. I know. You’ve got a real shiner, Harrington. Come on, up,” the boy instructed.

Steve felt cool skin graze against the nape of his neck, pulling him up into a sitting position. Steve remained boneless, not making the task easy.

He felt separate from his body, not sure where he ended and the rest of the world began. Once pulled up, he kept falling forward, his face making contact with the dark fabric of the boy’s shirt. The boy was more comfortable than the floor, with less carpet burn and more smooth leather. He smelled of smoke, sweat and an earthy kind of cologne that hadn’t been refreshed in hours.

“Elevator up,” Steve chuckled, laughing too hard for his own good.

His ribs ached. He felt a laugh shudder through the boy’s body as he pulled Steve back, trying to get a better look at him. He held a finger in front of Steve’s face.

“Not sure what this is meant to do but I’ve seen it in movies,” the boy commented as he moved his finger right to left, inspecting Steve’s face for something, neither boy was quite sure of.

“Alright. You’ve gotta know I’m the least likely person to narc on you, Harrington. What did you take? Special K? Some Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds? Were you Chasing the Dragon? Gotta be something stronger than weed, man,” the boy insisted.

Steve screwed up his nose and moved away from the man.

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” Steve complained, trying to untangle the string of words the guy had thrown his way.

Steve staggered to his feet, swaying before propping himself up, leaning against the wall, and feeling the whole thing tilt under his weight.

“Dude, your walls are broken,” Steve muttered, as his legs gave out and he slid down to the floor.

“We’re in a trailer, Steve,” the boy pointed out. Steve looked around the place, trying to make shapes from the blurs of colour and light.

“Oh yeah,” He noted before resting his chin on his knee.

The boy sat down in front of him, mirroring Steve’s posture, his chin resting on the bare knees of his ripped jeans.

“Do you know what you took?” He pushed on, this time taking a different approach.

“No,” Steve admitted, at last, sliding forward.

The boy’s rings had caught his attention. They were little halos of light. He curiously tugged at his hand, pulling him close to examine the shine. He ran his fingers over the rise and fall of the rings.

“Okay,” the dark-haired boy breathed, seemingly to himself.

“I think you need to go to the hospital, dude.”

“No hospitals,” Steve remarked eloquently as he returned to his previous position, face down on the carpet, taking the boy's hand with him.

“Yeah well, I’m not so sure I like the idea of you sleeping either, Stevie,” He reasoned, his voice sounding strangled.

“I’m tired,” Steve rebutted, his eyes sliding shut.

There the boy was again, taking Steve’s face into his palm and pulling him up. For a moment, the vision in his good eye cleared enough to make out brown eyes painted with concern.

“Look, I know we hated each other’s guts in high school but I don’t want you to O.D. on my carpet. It’s not good for the ambience,” the boy continued.

Steve squinted, trying to place the face. Sure, he’d been a jerk in high school, particularly before his senior year, but he didn’t remember hating anyone. Not really. Maybe Jonathan, for a time, but that had passed.

Munson. Steve’s brain supplied at last. The boy was Eddie Munson. He sold drugs and hung out on the fringes of Steve’s bigger parties back in the peak of his ‘King Steve’ era.

“You hated me?” Steve asked, hearing the hurt in his voice before he realised what he was feeling. Eddie’s eyes widened in alarm, Steve’s face still in his palm.

“What? No. I thought you hated me. I mean, you were a jock and I’ve got my whole ‘fuck the man shtick’, so it wasn’t like we ran in the same circles,” Eddie elaborated.

“Jocks are ‘the man’?” Steve questioned. He’d like to blame the drugs, but he’d probably ask the question sober.

“No. Yes. Kind of. Jocks are like... the grease for a cog in the wheel of the machine. All mass compliance to societal norms... or whatever.”

Steve blinked owlishly at Eddie, trying to make a lick of sense out of what he’d said before resigning himself to the fact that he was completely lost.

“I like Grease. It’s a cool movie,” he settled on, startling another laugh out of Eddie. He gently lowered Steve’s face onto the carpet and sighed.

“Yeah, it’s a cool movie,” he muttered, leaving Steve for a moment, tossing sheets and a pillow from the sofa to the floor beside him.

“Look, I’m going to stay up and make sure you don’t choke on your own tongue. You can stay here for the night, but I’m not letting you crash until my uncle gives you the thumbs up, weirdo.”

Eddie slid a cushion beneath Steve’s head and draped the sheet over him. Steve was bone tired. He wanted nothing more than to sleep, but the pain in his body was growing by the moment and less favourable memories were leaking back into the forefront of his mind. He watched as Eddie placed a tape into the VCR and sat down beside Steve. It took him too long to realise the film was Grease.

“Who’d you get into a fight with this time?” Eddie asked, seemingly aware of Steve’s sudden restlessness.

Steve didn’t answer. He didn’t know how to.

“Were the drugs before or after?” He pushed, searching for something Steve couldn’t work out.

Again, Steve didn’t know how to answer. Once more, Eddie let it slide.

“You want me to call anyone? A girlfriend... or?” He doesn’t mention Steve’s parents.

Maybe he was at more parties than Steve remembered, enough to know that the Harringtons being in Hawkins was rarer than a blue moon, less frequent than even Steve would admit to.

“No,” Steve grumbled, starting to feel the swelling in his lip.

Eddie nodded and let Steve have his silence. He half paid attention to the flashing lights on the screen, fading in and out of consciousness. Eddie would gently elbow his side each time Steve almost reached sleep. It was a long night, broken only by the opening of a door come sunrise.

The light was too bright, too sudden. Steve shrunk from it curling into the closest point of dark comfort. Steve realised too late he’d curled himself into a small ball, tucking his face into the familiar darkness provided by Eddie’s crossed legs.

“What in the Sam Hill have you gotten into, kid?” Steve heard a gruff voice ask in the doorway. Despite his words, the man didn’t sound angry, more amused.

Steve felt Eddie pull the sheets up to hide his broken face from the light.

“You know when I was fourteen, and I brought home that stray cat?” Eddie asked.

Steve heard a door shutting and the scrape of a dining chair sliding against the linoleum.

“The one that was sick as a dog?” The gruff voice replied. Probably Eddie’s uncle.

“Same situation,” Eddie spoke.

“You’re telling me you found a kid wanderin’ round the trailer park at night and thought you’d bring him home? You remember what happened to that cat, right?” His uncle asked.

“He went missing after a week. Then we found him half-kickin’ curled up in the back seat of the Johnsons’ cinder-blocked Austin,” Eddie muttered, stating the words as though it were a conversation Eddie and his uncle had before.

“And you didn’t leave your room for a week.”

“Your point, old man?” Eddie remarked.

“My point is, I love you, kid. But sometimes your bleeding heart is more trouble than it’s worth.”

To Steve’s surprise, the sheet was pulled off his head. The next thing he knew he was face to face with Eddie’s uncle. The man shone a torch in Steve’s eyes, echoing Eddie’s movements, placing a finger in front of his eyes. Eddie watched in silence at Steve’s side.

“He’s got a pretty bad concussion,” Eddie’s uncle supplied after a beat.

“He was on something when I found him,” Eddie said.

Steve was getting sick of people talking about him like he wasn’t there but in the same vein, he wanted to convalesce in peace. Eddie’s uncle shot him a sceptical look.

“Nothing I gave him, promise. He’s not letting me take him to the hospital.”

“He’s right here,” Steve interjected.

He watched as Eddie’s uncle levelled him under his intense gaze. For the first time since he’d entered the room, he wasn’t seeing symptoms, or a problem Eddie had dropped in his lap but a boy. A kid, in Wayne’s eyes, one that looked worse for wear. It was the goddamn cat all over again.

“I’m going to get you water and some aspirin. Eds, get some rest. No buts, kid you look like you haven’t slept a wink. Should also be safe enough for you to try to get some shut-eye, boy. I’m not Eddie, you can’t bat your eyes at me and get your way. I’m taking you to the hospital if anything happens, right?”

Steve looked at the man with narrowly masked surprise before giving him a weak nod. He couldn’t imagine his parents doing the same, not even for one of Steve’s friends, let alone a stranger.

“Come on, you can sleep in my room,” Eddie uttered, springing to his feet with a joviality that someone who’d gone twenty-four hours without sleep shouldn’t be able to muster.

Steve blinked, slowly standing and gathering the sheets around himself, acutely aware of how ridiculous he looked.

“Keep the door open,” Wayne called at their retreating backs.

That was how Steve spent the summer of ‘85 hauled up and healing at the Munsons’ trailer. A few months later, he’d return the favour. When Eddie went missing, Wayne knew where to look.

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elysian-chaos · 2 months

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i didn't know what it felt like to have my heart stolen - suguru getō

summary: you just like being cuddled up in suguru's arms

word count: 1.2k

contents: suguru get x gn!reader, established relationship, could be read as no curses au (college au) but if you don't want to read it like that it's probably canon divergent (in the sense that suguru doesn't defect), this is just pining, straight up pining, fluff, reader somewhat pines over gojo, satoru pines over geto in reader's memory, potential for satosugu x reader, petnames loads of 'em (included but not limited to: pretty, baby, lovie, my love), reader mentions a memory about a magician to themself and i did actually see it on tv once and was traumatised, reader is whipped (whipped is too less of a word) devoted to suguru, soft sugu

author's notes: i have not written in four years please be nice to me, i beg. this thing has no semblance of a plot, the idea came to me before an exam when i was delirious from climbing ten stories worth of stairs (don't ask) other than that, thank you @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat and @cowboyhatetcetc for reading this for me, you are my life savers. also @literaila because if it weren't for you and your suguru obsession, angel, i never would have gotten into jjk so this is for you. oh also, forgot to mention, banner made by yours truly (it took me an hour to make T.T)

𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟

“sugu?”

your voice, however soft and quiet, had broken the undisturbed silence of suguru’s dorm room.

the two of you had been laying on his bed, smushed together on the narrow mattress with his upper arm under your neck while his hand stroked through your hair. you were laying on your back, looking at the glow-in-the-dark stars you and satoru had pasted on his ceiling on a dare. the stars were glowing softly, pale green with not nearly enough luminosity to light up the room but the pattern of the false constellations was clear.

suguru hummed in reply, signalling his attention as he turned his head slightly in your direction, waiting for you to continue.

“it’s a stupid question.”

“you know i don’t mind baby,” his hand stopped at the edge of your jaw, brushing the skin softly with his thumb, “what’s your pretty little head thought up of now, hm?”

your body moves along the mattress, turning to him to grace your eyes with the sight that is suguru’s profile. suguru is a picture of beauty; silky smooth hair tied in a ponytail spread over the pillow his head lays on, eyes half open while the long, dark lashes on the corner of them stick together. soft light filtering in from the dark blinds in his room light up the highs of his face along with the little baby hair and flyaways, giving him a fuzzy glow. an angel just for your eyes.

you lift up your hand, almost cautiously circling the gauge plug in his earlobe, “does stretching out your piercings hurt?”

your voice is quiet, barely above a whisper but suguru hears you loud and clear as if you are talking loudly like you do when you’re with your friends; goofing out with gojo and haibara or gossiping with shoko and nanami, howling with laughter as the three of you would discuss the latest piece of gossip that had come your way.

“it’s called ear gauging, pretty,” he offers, “and yeah, somewhat. it’s more uncomfortable than painful for me but that depends person to person.”

and it hits you again. why you love geto. how sweet he is, just endlessly kind. there’s never a hint of malice in his tone (except when he talks of the higher ups but all of you speak of them with varying amounts of discontentment). always so happy to help, not even a hint of condescension while he offers it; whether it be correcting satoru about a topic he is brashly ignorant or explaining a new concept to one of the juniors. your boyfriend is almost a saint, an angel incarnated as human, you are sure of it.

nevertheless you hide your thoughts in exchange for the way your eyes widen because the thought of you gauging your piercings, that are currently occupied with dainty dangling pearl earrings, sends shivers of dread up your spine. it sounds painful and to hear him say it isn’t seems unrealistic to you.

so you question his statement, “it really doesn’t hurt?”

“just a little, lovie. do you remember when you told me about the time you bought a pair of earrings and the post was thicker than your original ones and it made your piercings sore?” he continues once you nod in confirmation, “well it’s sort of like that. you just need to be very very careful because it can hurt a lot if you do it wrong.”

your lips part slightly, forming a soft ‘o’ shape as a whispered exhale tumbles out from between them, causing him to nod slightly and let out a quiet “yep” in response to your reaction.

you bounce back from the silence which takes over as you digest the new information with another quick question, “will you ever wear those ring gauge thingies? i think they’re called tunnel gauges? i’ve never seen you wear any even though you have so many of them.”

the picture of tunnel gauges forming in your brain pulls you into a memory from your childhood. you recall a pleasant evening from the eyes of your seven or eight year old self, watching tv with both your parents; a show about a magician whose name you have long forgotten. through the hazey, nostalgic filter of your mind you remember the magician linking together the ears of two people with tunnel gauges as if they were pieces of chain and he a metal worker before walking away from the scene. the memory makes you wonder if that was the reason you never even considered gauging your ears but you brush it off in favour of looking up at suguru as you wait for his answer.

he lets out a little huff of a chuckle, wording the answer in his head before speaking, “i don’t really think they’re my style, honestly. i discussed them with satoru once—bad choice, i know. the next day he bought enough of them to make a small mountain. i kept a few but i made him return the rest.”

“enough to make a small mountain?”

“it’s an exaggeration, pretty,” he rolls his eyes at you, nothing but fondness on his face as he watches you echo his words with wide eyes, unbelieving of the quantity of jewelry that was bought for him.

you fix your eyes at him with a half-hearted but pointed stare, “i know that. it is still a lot. maybe not in gojo terms, but for normal people? i can only imagine.”

the anxiousness in your brain had made you analyse and overanalyse satoru in the early days of knowing him. you could not for the life of you figure out the seemingly bubbly, white haired boy. he had been so very reserved when it came to you but a stark contrast with the rest of your little group and even closer with suguru. as it had turned out, growing up as he had, he had built up sky high walls when interacting with new people but he seemed to melt around the people he cared about; often expressing his love in the form of uber expensive gifts because he didn’t know the right words or perhaps the right feelings. you had been on the receiving end of such gifts over the course of your friendship; always so anxious and hesitant to accept them but not wanting to hurt his feelings but you had grown since then, a lot less anxious and skittish and fawnlike, so had he. he had learnt to express his emotions in words instead of gifts (not that the gifts had stopped, they were just more... personal now than before) and it wasn’t uncommon to hear the blue-eyed boy murmur declarations of love in soft moments albeit hesitantly.

“anyone up there?”

suguru’s words pulled you out of your thoughts with a jolt, his lips hovering over your forehead as he looked down at you through his lashes. “yeah, i’m fine,” the words escape you with a sharp exhale, neck jerking once as you snap back into the real world.

“do you just wanna stay like this for a while?” he questions softly (and the words pop up in your head again ‘endlessly sweet, endlessly kind’). you nod in response and he kisses your forehead after he whispers, “whatever you want, my love.” leaning his neck to plant a soft kiss to your lips and then just below where your hairline starts.

the stars are still glowing a pale green and you wish on the shooting star stuck to his ceiling for more moments like the one you are in, etching the feeling of his embrace in your mind for the rest of your life.

𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟

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cyb3rtarot · 4 months

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Pick a Pile: Message from Your Spirit Guides

Disclaimer: tarot readings are not replacements for professional advice. Take what confirms, not confuses. You make your own fate. In this reading I’ll be describing the energy of a guide and what messages this guide has, and extra details! Each row of emojis is a pile.

Help a Palestinian family, even $1 helps!! 5 is close!: 1 2 3 4 5

🕊️ 💸 ☁️

🌞 💌 🌊

🎴 ⚜️🏛️

💦 🦊 ⛲️

🌳 🃏 🌌

👸 📿 🏡

𓆸⋆｡°✩.

Pile 1 🕊️💸☁️

[Ace of Wands, Death, bottom of the deck the Hierophant, three of clubs]

Hello pile one! I would describe your guide with the word divinity? I keep trying to find a good word, and words like angel came to mind but I feel the scope of your spirit guide is larger than what one may first think. Like maybe you hear that word and think of the soft smiling guardian angel image, whereas this energy is more like the holy, intense concept. A larger, driving force. The intensity is emphasized, I'm not sure if sometimes you feel “the essence” of this energy and it’s off putting to you? Or this could be how the energy manifests, like receiving help or guidance that comes as very big changes or intense situations that later give way to blessings. It feels fair, in the way a being with an aerial perspective of human life might be fair, if somewhat separate from the human experience. If your belief includes a concept of God, this energy may be related to that. The three of pentacles is on the top of the deck and again there's the three of clubs; there may be the impression of a larger energy because perhaps there’s multiple energies working together as a collective to help you, including deceased loved ones. There’s a lot of people of religious backgrounds in this pile who have/ had faith in concepts like angels/archangels or The Trinity, and those concepts are relevant here, especially if you only pray to God (or Saints?) and don’t engage with the concept of spirit guides too much. The main takeaway is this is a force of energy, possibly multiple combined, that especially helps you with new opportunities and cycles. They love to see you going through new opportunities and generally bring good tidings to your life and energy, helping you transmute and grow. You are like a flower in bloom to them.

Extra guide details: spiritual, church, late night walks, snowflakes, cactus, in bloom, transmutation, trios. The blue sky is significant, especially in relation to ice, winter, and snowflakes (this is emphasized). Shock, electricity. Bright light flashes. Crackling, popping. Intense, holy.

[Domination, It’s Always Teatime sideways, 9 of cups rx, 4 of pentacles, 10 of wands, who in the world are you?, follow the white rabbit, top/bottom of deck: knight of pentacles rx/ the Chariot]

Everyone always wants a piece of the pie, in detriment, "let go" (“I can’t let go”)

Your guide has a message about forgiveness; there’s past pain or disappointment keeping you very stuck in an unpleasant energy. The 4 of pentacles flipped over while the song I was listening to went “let go, let go.” There’s a sense of someone having wronged you, or possibly a cycle of wrongs between you and another. It’s the energy of someone taking advantage as if you were weaker than them, someone messing with you just because they can. Whether this was once or continuous, it has stewed in your mind, and so energetically you’re stuck in this moment of being wronged. You may unintentionally create feelings of self blame or shame with your hurt. You may ruminate over what made you upset, and your brain may cope with the intense emotion by directing anger towards yourself, but you may not consciously notice, so it continues to stew and get more enmeshed in whatever else you're holding on to. Or, your emotions could be intense on a physical level, and so the constant anger is like poison to your body. Your gut in particular could suffer or you could have issues with adrenaline. What comes to mind is the 8 of swords rx. When you work on releasing this embedded pain, you’ll be able to fly away from this cage. You’ll be able to release some of these wands that the 10 of wands figure is burdened by.

There’s another message about finances. Some of you give far too much to family or others, to where you might not be able to pay your bills or live adequately. And for many, your family is not as grateful as they could be. Your message is telling you to hold on to more of your money to release yourself from some of this unhappiness. Really sitting down and committing to healing, however that looks for you, may also help finances. Some of you may be in a not-so-good job that’s affecting you mentally, but you’re too drained to look for something better. Healing will rejuvenate some energy & enthusiasm to improve your situation. Therapy and meditation come to mind. You’ve been stuck in this pain long enough that you might’ve forgotten some parts of yourself, which is where meditation may be helpful for rediscovery. As you heal, opportunities can increase “exponentially,” I feel. It’s like you just need to detach from this energy enough and then I’m seeing you follow a thread that’ll take you all over the place to all kinds of opportunities. I see a turtle coming out of hibernation, slow with all the earth that’s caked up on it for the last few months coming off. That’s you coming out of this, and this guide is here to help you heal and transmute the hurt. This guide especially helps with your root, sacral, solar, and heart energies, with the heart being the most concern right now. Despite the darkness, I see and feel the excitement and curiosity that will be in your energy as you work through some of these attachments (attachments from pain, trauma, rumination, exploitation, physical trauma too I hear). This guide has so much love for you! And there’s pride as well. Good job and good luck pile one, you can do it!

Extra Details: trees blooming outside apartment, Christianity, works in shipping/ fulfillment, PS2/ old video games with chunky graphics (esp with ninja or samurai characters), Final Fantasy (especially XVI, or XIV?), 3, 303, 333, angels, sitting in a dark room (especially with the light on in the hallway. If you do this to brood maybe you could turn this into meditation), lights/electricity/water cutting off (there’s a theme of being in the dark while upset, you might need better lighting in your home!), collective/ co-op/ compound, feeling like you’re in the wrong environment (literally the climate where you live may not be compatible with you but could also refer to a social environment like work. Astrocartography may help), pie, boxes, purple thread/yarn, string of fate, purple yam, pouting when you cry or when angry. Mars in Libra, Taurus, Sagittarius, or knowing someone with this placement. If you have Mars in Libra or Taurus, that may be where the struggle in asserting boundaries is coming from, there’s a need to be more protective of yourself and body or health). Scorpio energy is significant, may be in profection year of your house in Scorpio, or it maybe a prominent sign in the Solar Return (or an SR in the last 3 years). Eye of Providence. Bright colored eyes. Angel- NewDad, Let Go- NewDad, Becky- Be Your Own Pet, Washing Machine Heart- Mitski, Cane Shuga- Glass Animals

Thank you for reading!—Tip Link | Paid Reading Info in Pinned Post (in-depth spirit guide readings available!)

𓆸⋆｡°✩.

Pile 2 🌞💌🌊

[Seven of Swords rx, Death, top/bottom of deck: princess of swords rx/ princess of pentacles rx, Protection]

Hi pile two! Your guide is very eager to come through with your message; I was picking up your energy way before I started your reading. For everyone this relationship is different, but the energy seems to be a loved one who passed at infancy or before childbirth. For some, there may have been a twin absorbed in the womb or something similar? Otherwise this is just a relationship you have to an infant, including from your family or close circle, even cousins. This could also be up to toddler age as for some maybe you had a friend in infancy this applies to. This guide has a very young, playful, loving, and fun-loving energy, and “kind” I hear. They like to flit or hang around your energy lol, if you’re sensitive you may notice them around as it’s like a child having fun around you. If you have a deceased pet (especially a medium or big dog with white & brown fur?) they may like to come around with the pet and this amplifies the energy. I’m not getting much about what specifically this guide helps with, but I think them being in your energy helps lighten it, or they may just like to be with you because they love you. For some of you if you had sudden lightbulb moments where you saw through or realized the truth about something, this guide sometimes helps you have those moments, they help you realize things for what they are, both in life and your relationships.

Specific Message for Some [!!TW!! Abortion, Miscarriage]: Some of you had an abortion, miscarriage, loss of a child, I also feel this applies to some of you that absorbed a twin in the womb—you’re not being kind to yourself, like you have a bitterness towards yourself after this event. This guide just wants you to know there’s no shame, hate, bitterness, anything like that from their end. They have lots of love and support for you, and you don’t need to carry a burden over what fate led to, or what has already come to pass. Especially if some of you blame yourself because of a physical activity you did before it happened? They want you to release these emotions and heal how you can. Also, some are not grieving this in particular but you started having a hard time for other reasons after this event, and it’s been depressing you. They are wanting you to face these factors “head-on” so you can heal and recuperate, especially if you need to physically recover from something but you’re having a hard time with other things going on.

Extra guide details: feeling warm, loss/death, fate, angels, small angel figurine, cherubim, Cupid, hearts, Valentine’s Day or similar imagery, church, natural disaster (especially hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes; these may be symbolic), excitement, childlike wonder and innocence, purity, twins, Gemini energy, Aries energy, toy blocks, popping/ patting/ banging/ thumping noises (especially a cover, grate, or vent? I see this guide running down your hall banging the wall and giggling), smelling something clean or good, soft hair, ribbons, stuffed animal (bunny)

[Becoming Braver rx, Such a Curious Dream rx, Seduction, Fehu, Nine of Cups, The Empress rx, Paths, Stork, Dog]

Your message is about letting yourself be vulnerable. You may force yourselves to be strong and it’s hard to undo the persona. To the point where defenses are indiscriminate; you may have times where you avoid good things to protect yourself but let toxicity into your life because you were blinded by something. Your guide is wanting you to relax when new opportunities come and learn when to lower walls. There’s a huge message about travel, you may have the opportunity to travel soon (especially with a friend or love interest), or maybe you’ve been avoiding a needed getaway, especially because of transportation? This is a good opportunity to let loose and clear your energy, and if you do have some issue with transportation, your guide wants you to resolve it if you’ve been avoiding it on purpose. This guide values freedom, and you being limited in yours by solvable issues frustrates them. You’re also limited by your disbelief that good things can happen to you when there’s already opportunities to experience good things, and they want you to challenge that perspective. This guide is all about taking things head on like a little warrior lol, Aries energy.

If you do have a new relationship (including platonic) or love interest, there’s a message about lightening up and letting yourself enjoy the fun parts of the beginning stages. That’s a theme across your whole message, to enjoy new beginnings, and not be afraid of nurturing or forging healthy relationships. This may help you get out the stagnant energy following you, especially if it’s coming from other people. Discernment is required when putting your walls up, otherwise your defenses are stretched thin and padded too much in the wrong areas. It’s like your defenses became a way to deny yourself happiness, the right to be vulnerable & soft. Your guide wants you to address this, to engage in the passionate parts of life, to break this cycle and start a new, better one. Again, in particular, they are encouraging fun in your social life & traveling. Also, if you have a choice of putting energy into unfulfilling relationships or mending better ones, take steps to mend real friendships.

Extra Details: moths, butterflies, & “bugs in your lawn” are significant—especially tiny moths or red butterflies, also crickets? A playdate or playroom like you might see in a preschool, nursery, or the corner of an office. 404/44/444, the Sun (I see a Sun painted in a spiral), also the Sun in tarot/ oracle, stiffness, left eye/ jaw/ face pain? Melanie Martinez, bright blonde hair or bright-colored eyes, smelling a baby or holding one up to your face (a memory?), crystals, crystal angel figurine, congenital or genetic, video games, watching old media or memories, VHS, needing more nutritious food especially if you crave ice or non-edible things, paying attention to your body on a day to day basis, allowing yourself to be more creative—esp with your self-expression like clothes or makeup, letting yourself be excited out loud. Building your faith or ability to believe again, especially believing things can be ok. New chemistry or passion with someone, challenging a lack mindset, luck, predestiny, leaves on the vine

If you already felt drawn to pile one it may resonate, this guide may be related to the energy described, or they could be referencing another guide you have

Thank you for reading!—Tip Link | Paid Reading Info in Pinned Post (in-depth spirit guide readings available!)

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Pile 3 🎴⚜️🏛️

[7 of clubs, 4 of diamonds, 10 of diamonds, top of deck: Queen of Hearts]

Hello pile three! For many of you this is a past life connection, or an ancestor (especially maternal). Or both, most guides in this pile lived a while ago, some more like in the 1800s, but for some it’s back to the 1400s, and for some even farther. There’s some kind of familiarity, responsibility, or bond—like fate, or the family tree and such things that have far-reaching effects. I picked up a mysterious vibe and not as much about them specifically. The energy reminds me of Morticia Adams a bit lol but there’s masculine energy here too for some. The masculine energy feels a bit more aloof/stern or self-assured, an Aries-like confidence, whereas the feminine energy is a little more playful or like a black cat in comparison (so take that as it fits if you’re familiar with either energies). Actually, before I finished writing this section, I noticed the King of Hearts is under the Queen of Hearts, so both a feminine & masculine guide with past lives/ancestry ties, or a relation to each other—they could be a pair, could be in your energy. This guide (or guides) likes to be around you sometimes when you’re doing things you like, especially your nerdy or geeky interests. If you have a garden, or take walks in nature or near flowers, they also like to use these flowers as signs, or be with you in those moments. They support you when you’re doing those things you like, especially what you do for money or hobbies, as many have family that don’t support you or are pressuring you down a specific path, especially medical or something lucrative. They are around to encourage you and instill confidence in your own decisions; they are on your side. This guide helps you with general success, stability, and good luck, particularly in the material world. They do things on their end to ensure success in your endeavors, to show you things will be okay and you’re taken care of when you put effort in. They are big on success, confidence, financial increase or independence. If there’s something about a document, form, ticket, certificate, or similar that’s significant right now, I’m not sure why but your guide is bringing attention to it, and it seems like things will turn out well with these diamond cards. This could also be something magical in paper form, like a charm or spell you did.

There are more spiritual people in this pile who practice tarot, magic, manifestation, etc. This guide especially helps the energies from these along on their end and helps bring success to your practice, this is really emphasized; the word “magic” is emphasized as well. This is particularly true if you do spells or manifestations using paper or physical methods. This guide cares about you and wants to see you succeed in your efforts!

Extra Guide Details: red roses (especially seeing one bloom or in full bloom), romantic songs (slow or sad ones), camcorder/ old camera, grainy photos or videos, VHS, long black clothing, long &/or wavy dark hair, magnetic, alluring, mysterious, black, red, dark red, dark purple, fleur de lis, wallpaper, “darker” styles, crows, large and/or weeping trees. Kintsugi (may be significant to your healing which this guide may help or bring attention to. The episode of Bojack “Good Damage” is significant for someone because that came out super specifically), boost/surge of confidence, patience in your readings or other efforts, gusts of wind or other signs in nature, windfalls of good luck or abundant finances, magic, maternal, ancestry, old, pale

[Vision, Discrimination, Restlessness, 8 of diamonds, 2 of hearts, 6 of clubs, 9 of spades, 8 of spades]

I see a Fleur de Lis again in the symbols on your cards, so that could really be significant! Off the top what I get is you have a growing idea, especially a vision for your life or something you want to do. This is mostly a plan or not even that, a dream. Your head may be up in the clouds; your guides are wanting you to ground. There’s a growing agitation in you as this dream or desire for something different fills your mind, and being ungrounded is exacerbating this. These guides are all about putting action in, so they want you to more closely guard your mind against that which detaches you from reality or the present too much. If you are spiritual they especially want you to use discernment in your practice at this time and don’t indulge in spiritual things that unsettle your mind or make you confused too much. You’re needing a practical and detail-oriented energy like Virgo so you can organize this beautiful dream!

Many of you are in the midst of a long-coming choice, especially about work or education. For example, reaching the end stage of studies/ training and deciding on the next path. One choice you feel negatively about or you’re being pushed into. Another choice you like but are pressured against doing, or also feel negatively about because of some fear, like financial stability. This could represent a current job or major if you’re wanting to leave. Serious reflection is needed! This thing you hate may be a major investment. You may feel like picking this because it seems stable, but you may not be considering burn out (which is tough on your body) or emotional pain if you force yourself. It’s not a better financial choice if you’re not able to see through your investment. With the thing you like, you have talent or interest, but maybe because it doesn’t seem stable or you’re not sure how it would work, you haven’t put in a lot of practical planning. This could also refer to wanting to make moves with a partner. This is exacerbating those restless feelings, as you get more pressured and don’t have a plan for the choice you like. Your guides need you to put that discernment and practicality into this decision process. Really think about what you’re willing to do, capable of doing, and what first steps will look like. Be realistic—not pessimistic about finances so you have a real idea of the effort needed to create success. Especially be realistic about emotions; don’t get clouded by fantasies, examine patterns and choices. Your guides are here to help you with success, but they can only do their part on their end. Factor in things like burn out and any negativity you have surrounding these choices, reflect, weigh pros & cons, because that ultimately will impact the effects of this decision months down the line. Be mindful of your environment exacerbating fear and confusion as those things detach you from reality, especially your family & work environment. Consider if you will like the environment you’re going to, as picking a place you don’t feel comfortable in will take a toll. This also applies if your current work environment is really stressing you out. This is the other side of the financial aspect to consider, if you will be able to reap any benefits in an environment that's discouraging, or if you can find a healthy way to approach that at all. Overall, channel restless energy into practical thinking! Merge your inner child & dreamer with the mature self. Ask your guides for help creating success in whatever you do!

Extra Details: reading cards/cartomancy—some of you scrap readings abruptly when you struggle (or other hobbies). This guide helps with this sometimes, especially if words or thoughts come to mind until you get the right one, as if your guide reads with you. This guide is particular (Virgo energy, you or them), and doesn’t want you to quit too easily. If you read cards (esp if you only read tarot) your guide may encourage you to expand such as trying a new form of card reading (again this may fit another hobby). Diane, Mr Peanut Butter, or Penny from Bojack, E. Asia, Japan, coastal area or island (can also be family history, an interest), Greece, things that creep out or sadden others but are significant or interesting to you, Peppermint- Jack Stauber. “Find a penny, pick it up, all day long you’ll have good luck!” Cloves, picking somewhere to move, esp to a city/ university/ near the ocean, inner child, fruit, childhood home/town, playing house as a kid, writing/songwriting, singing (“he never said I couldnt sIiiiIng”), singing as a child in a group or specific place, passed down songs, sketching fruit, interests from childhood, cartoons, codename: KND, Chowder (show), eye dr, surgeon, exam, paying for certification

For clair-people: if you ever feel a guide going NOO >:( especially if it feels disproportionate to the situation or while you’re doing your spiritual practice— I think that’s the masculine guide I described lol. They may be a bit jarring to your energy but they don’t mean you poorly, they just have something like a dry sense of humor and don’t adjust their tone lol but you can always set boundaries if you want

Thank you for reading!—Tip Link | Paid Reading Info in Pinned (in-depth spirit guide readings available!)

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Pile 4 💦🦊⛲️

[I Wonder What Will Happen Next, princess of swords, six of swords]

Hello pile #4! For many of you this guide seems to be a past life connection and/or relative. There’s a child-like joy, so you could’ve known this guide in your youth in a past life (or this one?), and/or they could have died young. Or, they are just connected to this side of themselves, as there’s also wisdom + older energies mixed in there for some.

This guide has a major affinity to water, in their lifetime(s) the coast or water in general was significant to them. They like and encourage you to spend time with water. At first I saw a beach with no one else around (this could be their past life or your current one), but then I got something about you going to a water park, so even though this guide prefers peace & quiet, they love water and you having fun or embracing your inner child more lol. This guide is related to the home, as well as quiet outings in nature—especially in the Summer. They are very related to your recuperation in these spaces; they’re big on the effect your surroundings create on the mind. They enjoy when you do comfy or rejuvenating activities in the home, like baking cookies because they keep excitedly showing me these fresh hot cookies lol. Their focus is on you using these times well to have the “wherewithal” to go forward in the world, especially if your life has been more about rest or “focus” recently? They want you to take resting or relaxing seriously as your foundation. They also encourage you to recuperate your thoughts + organize your mind during these times, so that you’re clear-headed going forward and know what is true. Your guide came in with the word “quiet” which I see but it’s funny because when this energy wants to say something I feel they say it really loud and pointedly lol. Like they ARE quiet or you may notice a stillness when they’re around? But, when they’re excited they energetically shout like a happy child. Another thing about the guides in this pile is many seem to have lived possibly a few hundred or more years ago, because they use somewhat archaic or very specific language. They have an affinity or relation to older architecture and a time when there was less human impact everywhere. You may notice a pull towards things related to them or that they like, especially water and coastal areas, older architecture, older media (even songs from a few decades ago), calm environments, or a pull to take walks in nature (especially the woods). For many, either you or this guide has a significant relation to Britain.

Extra Guide Details: quiet, the ocean—especially a beach with little to no human activity, relaxing at home, egrets/herons or other waterfowl, cookies (very significant), homely (cozy), rushing water, sailing or travel over water, trust/truth, alone in nature, past life connections, water park, nostalgia/ older media, church or a place of spiritual beauty (the emphasis is on the physical building and how it affects one’s mind rather than religion itself, though if you are religious they encourage you in your faith), baptisms or initiations (extra significant; this period of your life may be an initiation into the next especially in spirituality.

[Find the Lesson, Extremism, Resistance, 9 of pentacles, the High Priestess, Eihwaz]

This guide wants you to incorporate a lesson into your life you’ve been resisting. There’s something you or someone with a strong relation to you is struggling to accept, and it’s getting to the point where your/their behavior or mentality is getting more unstable as this is resisted. This could be something like refusing to accept a love situation is over or didn’t have a chance, and instead getting more aggressive or obsessive about love. It seems strong emotion is involved, but it doesn’t have to be love, just any situation that’s tough to swallow or has resulted in “acting out.” Take a higher perspective, and take time to appreciate the learning aspect of this experience, as there’s a lot of growth it could provide. Introspection, deep reflection, prayer, or spiritual practice with the intent of clarity & understanding are encouraged. If this is someone close, your guides still want you to learn something, such as boundaries or paying more attention to who’s unstable towards you + protecting your energy. There’s a point about raising stability & independence, and communicating what needs to be said without going overboard or blowing up. You seem to already know this with the high priestess. You’re aware of this needing your attention or “cooperation." Or, you’re aware of a lesson on some level, but your guides want you to act accordingly and not just look the other way lol.

Once you “maintain” or integrate this lesson, it’ll be easier to move into a financial blessing or material success, especially if you’re planning something but feel overwhelmed or lack the resources. I’m not sure why the word maintain came to mind, maybe this is a continuous lesson but you backpedal, such as setting boundaries but making concessions on them. If so, your guide wants you to maintain the lesson learned. Maybe that’s also why the word cooperation came to mind; your guides want you to cooperate with them on moving forward. Also, if one of the things you’re “yearning” for is increased spiritual awareness or ability, then this guide is saying that resolving this situation and accepting it is what’ll bring you closer to your spirituality. Especially if you’ve been going overboard with spiritual things to the point where it’s affecting your mental health. Overall, your guides stress balance, discipline, and willpower.

Extra Details: a very large building with older architecture and a central courtyard between the buildings, like a university or a very old church? Needing to communicate something (like an important conversation you’re preparing for or putting off) (this guide is helping with this). A recent breakup/rejection or putting off a breakup (don’t force this to fit, whoever this applies to already knows. Could also be a platonic breakup or familial separation). Edinburgh. Yoga. Ancestors (again for some of you this could be a relative). “Cosmic phenomenon” (the sky, seeing something in the sky, or things happening in the night sky? As well as the movement of things through space such as astrology/astronomy). Animals, particularly those that accompany you when in nature; they could be related to your guide. Especially a red fox in the woods? Sail Away- The Long Faces. The guides in this pile were very lovely energy to interact with n_n. Also if you read any cards, when this guide is around you may notice an urge to read without reversals. Pile 6 may be significant if you were already drawn to it.

Thank you for reading!—Tip Link | Paid Reading Info in Pinned (in-depth spirit guide readings available!)

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Pile 5 🌳🃏🌌

[2 of cups rx, 3 of wands, 10 of swords, King of Swords, 3 of wands rx, the hierophant, bottom of a different deck is also the hierophant]

Hello pile 5! Your guide didn't come through with much about themselves except that it’s a feminine energy. They’re focused on you/ don’t need to describe themselves specifically at this time. Instead, your cards tell your guide’s relationship to you. This guide is like a personal teacher or shows you how to cut through lessons. This guide’s presence and influence is most felt or seen in emotional lessons, as their energy provides much needed balance. When you’re going through an emotional situation— especially from a “failing?” or ending relationship—this guide helps incorporate logic & mental fortitude into your thoughts. It’s interesting that there’s the three of wands twice from different decks, causing the figures in the cards to mirror each other. While you are trying to heal emotionally and facing the future, this guide is also doing work on the other side, looking into and guiding you in the future. Imagine walking down a path in the forest, and there’s someone extremely tall with you who can see far ahead on the path, see the obstacles that need to be cleared, as well as which paths are least treacherous, it’s like that. In this second three of wands, a female figure towers over a town, holding a little ship and looking out into the sea; that represents how your guide looks out for you. Your guide has much to teach you, they bring wisdom and help you find the lesson in endings and trials you go through. They’re like a school teacher with a much more personal sense of responsibility, guidance, and protection over you. The energy reminds me of an ancestor, though that’s just for some, but the sense of responsibility is similar at least. It could even be a passed on parent/guardian, grandma, great grandma etc. If a situation is not helping you grow, if something holds you back or blinds you, this guide may “cut to the chase” and intervene. The hierophant also came out twice. This guide is very “I said what I said,” like when someone is authentic nothing they do needs further explanation, it is what it is. Similar to how an adult may do something for our own good growing up, and we don’t understand their perspective until later. They may work with a higher energy or group to guide you. If you have faith or worship-based practices, that may be significant to this guide or the energy they use to help you.

Extra Guide Details: the energy didn’t bring forward many details, and ones that did come out are ultra specific. This guide is very wise and a little on the serious or quiet side, but kind with vast knowledge. Maybe even having ancient knowledge, for some. If you work with herbs for your spirituality, especially for spiritual insight or travel, that’s significant to this guide and they may be especially present then—though they help bring you some of that insight even if you don’t do that. Your guide gives off a primordial, vast, ancient, or powerful feeling; not necessarily that old but their breadth of wisdom makes them feel that way. “Big bang” & “solar flare” came out so those may be significant, though I feel they also symbolically describe the energy of your guide. They have had many experiences or lessons, and are now able to impart what they know on you. They have gone through similar things to what you have if not the same in their time, so that’s part of why they’re able to help. If this guide is not an ancestor, and it’s not for some, then they may work or interact with yours.

[4 of diamonds, 7 of spades, 6 of hearts, 8 of hearts, ace of spades, Jack of hearts, A Moment’s Regret]

Your guide has a past, present, future message. In the past, this pile was enjoying relative stability. There were feelings you felt very secure in, literally somehow your material security may have been significant. Examples are (but not only) a friend group or going out with friends a lot, a serious relationship including engagements/ marriage, a relationship with shared finances, relative stability and contentment with those around you or in the family, positive financial investing/planning. Something happened that pulled the rug out from under your feet. A loss or sudden perspective shift of what you had emotionally, and this could have suddenly impacted your finances or sense of security. For some of you, there could have been some kind of legal proceedings or official documents you had to go through because of this situation, which added difficulty to an already shocking time. You had something fulfilling or at least something normal and then some kind of grief took over, a huge ending that feels sudden. Some of you felt something was off but didn’t engage with that feeling as things seemed okay. Your guide’s message of the future, which I think is very fitting considering I talked of them looking out onto your path, is that it all depends on your choice. In your future I see opportunities for emotional healing or intimacy, but the growth you take from this situation depends on you. This is especially true if this has to do with other people like an ex; what your emotions look like going forward will depend on if you’re willing to invest in something new and truly stable (yourself) as opposed to things that only seem nice but cannot hold against the test of time. Regardless, your future may have some healing connections in it with friends, family, or others; there may be opportunities to grow something real if you’re willing to rebuild that vulnerability and inner stability. If you commit to your own emotions and apply wisdom even when you’re going through this dark change, the light at the end of the tunnel is very bright and will give way to better things “no matter what,” but life is still what you make of it.

As the final advice, “a moment’s regret” reiterates what I said. In the future, you may be faced with the “test” of the lesson. There may be a situation to see what you have learned and if you’re sticking to your guns emotionally, to see if you are committed to bettering yourself. Your guide says don’t “fiddle around” (lol), thinking that you’ve done the wrong thing, trying to think about if things were different, if you could go back, if you gave something bad another try, if if if. Stay present and look at the facts. If you’re committed to yourself and not sacrificing yourself for others, or sacrificing your wellbeing for a moment’s pleasure, then you can guide yourself to a better situation always. This is especially for you if you have a situation with an ex or an emotional vice/crutch. Good luck & good job pile 5, you can do it!

Extra Details: mugwort, astral or spiritual travel/flight, great grandmothers or grandmothers, ancestral line, grieving a loss, 111, divorce, thinking of someone’s health, social drinking or overdoing it (and healing from this). If you read cards your guide really emphasized “shuffle better” 😭 if you don’t already shuffle a lot lol. Gambling, recovering from an addiction or vice (I hear “social addiction”)? Long term relationship suddenly ended. Don’t look at the past with rose-tinted glasses. E/ SE Asia; [not only] Vietnam, Japan, China (especially if there’s ancestry or a family member served there). If none of this reading resonated or makes you worried because this is not you right now then this is not the right pile for you and another pile is more appropriate, especially if you felt drawn to 3. If you did resonate with this, and you already felt drawn to pile 1 or 6, that may be significant. If you work with your guides directly I feel this guide may be one that says what they have to say and then leaves like they have things to do, and while you may feel them around a lot they don’t necessarily “linger” or stay outside of a specific moment.

Thank you for reading!—Tip Link | Paid Reading Info in Pinned (in-depth spirit guide readings available!)

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Pile 6 👸📿🏡

[the Empress, two of cups, Status]

Hello pile 6! Your guide has very strong feminine energy and is likely a close relative in your family tree, even one you knew in your lifetime. This could mainly be a mother or grandmother as there’s a very strong maternal bond or feeling. It could also be other close feminine loved ones like a sister (especially twin sister), wife, aunt, cousin, even a really close best friend. It’s possible for them to be farther along in your lineage but for most this guide has a direct relationship to you. The work they put into their lifetime may have had a direct effect on yours, like your family’s current financial status, house, or belongings may be tied to this individual, others who live in your home, or others you have a close relationship to. There’s a close connection and need to guide you, like it's a continuation of their life or natural for them. If you knew each other while they were alive, you possibly had an intertwined but complicated relationship, things left unresolved. If this resonates to someone specific in your life or family, and that person’s partner also passed (a passed mother + father, grandmother grandfather etc), they collaborate with them to help you. They also guide the people around you in a way that helps, especially family. This guide is either important spiritually or important to YOU spiritually which would make sense if this is a loved one; I feel this is one of your main guides or the guidance they give you carries a lot of spiritual weight (guiding you may be important for them in their journey also). I got a very specific message for someone that if you have a connection to a female deity/ entity (especially if you have a maternal view of them or view them as more of a mother than your own?) and you became a part of her following, this could represent her. For very few of you this could even represent a living relative whom you have a very close connection to; they may somehow help you on an astral or some other level, especially if they pray a lot. If this pile doesn’t resonate even a little, another pile is a better option!

Extra Guide Details: praying & chanting out loud or reciting mantras especially in a temple, prayer beads, kneeling or bowing during prayer or ceremony, video games (literal games or the song), cactus (you may have had a prickly relationship with this guide, or this could be otherwise significant or symbolic), family (if you are not related to this guide I feel you still know their family), uncles are significant. Spiritual protector. Mirroring. Spiritual Elder or mentor, "spiritual ancestor" (someone who is not necessarily blood related but somehow elder to you in your belief, or an ancestor who was very spiritual/religious). Folk or indigenous practices

[King of Diamonds, 9 of diamonds, 9 of spades, 7 of diamonds, Jack of hearts, ace of hearts, ace of spades, King of clubs]

Your guide is bringing attention to some upheaval in your life. Something is in the process of changing or has already changed in your family or home. Some of you may have experienced a loss (especially a younger person in the family), and/or there may have been a transformation of finances. Examples include receiving money suddenly but having to spend it, a change in career, inheritance, etc. This could also apply to someone close to you or in your home, especially if you did recently have a loss then I think you’ll be observing the effects of this on someone, especially a male relative. There could be a family gathering related to this. This change of people or finances could have seemed coincidental or the timing could have been very specific but I’m not sure how; someone could have felt it coming. The cards show that though tumultuous, change has its allotted time in our life.

Fate is a culmination of time, but also our own efforts. This change brings beginnings to you or your loved one’s lives, and a chance to transform both pain and good things. If there is anything you feel passionate about at this time or would like to invest into, now is a very good time to think of or work towards that. Especially if you are grieving something, using that grief to propel you to new phases will help you grow. Other people around you (including bosses) or your family could be helpful at this time, or you to them. We can’t always choose endings, but we can often choose beginnings. Allow yourself to be transformed by that which happens to you, and in turn, see the changes in the transformations you create.

Extra Details: living in a city/fast-paced life (current or dreaming of it), somewhere that feels like a fairytale, travel over water or a home near water, castles, emotionally or financially investing, taking a leap of faith or risk. Spiritual hygiene, protection, and grounding are important if you feel vulnerable right now—your mental state influences your spiritual perception. If you feel overwhelmed feel free to take a break from spiritual practice or routines. Cleansing the home may help a lot. Your guide helps protect you but wants you to keep yourself grounded as well. New jobs or developments in jobs like a bonus or check. Financial decisions related to events out of one’s control. Fluctuations in finances. Cooking/ cooking with family. Happenstance, coincidental, or seemingly fated events. New beginnings (including meeting someone interesting or helpful) that may bring financial or emotional blessings but there’s a need to keep a level head and be reflective. Going where you’re appreciated, physical changes in the home. New business idea or passion. Divination practices (this may be one thing to take a break from if you feel overwhelmed). Reaping what was sown, harvest time. Something about being bullied or for some of you maybe your guide was bullied in life? If that resonates I especially feel this is a time for you to reap blessings but also to seek them. Making the most of something, blessings whose effect depends on your effort & perspective. Emotionally protecting oneself, using logic about things which emotionally rile you (like love interests or sudden whims). You guys are most likely to have another significant pile if you felt called to another one.

Thank you for reading!—Tip Link | Paid Reading Info in Pinned (in-depth spirit guide readings available!)

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ghuleh-recs · 3 months

Text

@st-danger is your favorite ghoul writer's favorite ghoul writer and it was their birthday yesterday! I've compiled a list of some of my favorite Saint fics to celebrate. Beyond being an incredible writer, Saint is such a wonderfully supportive member of the fandom here. They always leave a kind word (or sexy addition lbr) in the tags. You know that meme that's like 'I sure hope this doesn't awaken something in me?' That's how I experience most of their fics. So thank you Saint for sharing your writing with us. I don't know that the fandom needed more reasons to be horny but here we are. Go leave Saint some comments and hit up their ko-fi for some birthday appreciation!

recs under the super cute divider from @forlorn-crows

Terrors of the Night - dewdrop/dewdrop - E, 13.5k

“Hi,” he says, to himself. Dew is not by nature a timid or shy thing. He has always been a healthy mix of piss and vinegar. Acerbic wit and energy, and thoughtful tenderness in the right circumstances. A sharp tongue but a gentle touch. Fearful or nervous are not descriptors to be used, nothing he’s ever been accused of…and yet, Dew goes cold and his hand tightens around the fistful of blanket as he pulls it closer to himself. An uncharacteristic movement performed by a hand not under his control. Dewdrop smiles at him, with light eyes and lighter hair, looking exactly how he used to. Or, The past comes back to haunt.

Copia, seeing the ghouls' faces - Copia & Everyone - G, <1k

He once heard Terzo describe looking at Omega's true face as "confusing". He never asked any follow up questions to clarify that statement, but he's always wondered if confusing meant strange to look at, or strange to look at because his human brain couldn't figure out exactly what it was looking at, in an Eldritch horror kind of way. If hellspawn are naturally just beyond what mortal minds can know. "Are you sure?" Copia asks, though his hands are already reaching towards Aether's face. "You want me to see you?" "We want you to know us," Aether replies simply, and carefully, so carefully, Copia slides off Aether's mask, like the metal might turn out to be sugar and splinter and break if he isn't gentle.

Steadfast Love, Not Sacrifice - Aether/Copia/Dewdrop - E, 11k

It’s a bit like a shark smelling blood, he thinks as they follow close behind. It's natural they were going to want to taste it, too. “Well,” Copia says, “some of us need our beauty sleep.” He hesitates, and then proceeds to look nervously between the two of them and continue, “I meant me, of course. You two are already very, erm. I should go to bed.” It’s such a flimsy excuse. The elevator reaches the third floor before any of them speak again. Aether clears his throat. “You don’t want to though.” Copia looks very called out, but can’t do much more than stare, before realizing the two ghouls beside him are waiting for an actual answer of some kind. The elevator beeps as it passes the fourth floor. “No,” Copia says slowly, and Aether’s stomach does a little swoop. “I don’t.” Or, Sometimes the reward is worth the risk.

[REC] - Dewdrop/Swiss - E, 1.8k

“Have you thought about Aether watching you like this before?” “Not before you mentioned taking photos.” Swiss stands and Dew watches through narrowed eyes as he spreads Dew’s legs to stand between them, and reaches down to unclip the garter from his left leg. He strokes along the top of the lace teasingly and then begins to work it down Dew’s thigh, pushing his leg up to roll it down and off his calf, his toes. “Let me blindfold you,” he says by way of explanation. (don't miss the sequel 1080P !)

Self Control Takes The City - Terzo/Omega - E, 5.6k

Omega can be endlessly patient. He has existed, in some form, for an unfathomable length of time. Above Ground, years upon years. In the Pit- well, there’s no way to say. No way to measure. But he has been for a very, very long time. He knows good things come to those who wait. Alas, patience is a virtue. Hellspawn such as himself surely couldn’t be found to be practicing that very often. There is, of course, a workaround; practicing said virtue during unvirtuous situations. For unvirtuous reasons. As the saying goes, the devil’s in the details. Or, Omega gives until it hurts.

Hybrid Slinky - Dewdrop/Swiss - E, 2.8k

“It got deep,” Rain says, voice quiet and a little husky, and he brings Dew’s hand higher, closer to his mouth. “Let me clean you up?” Dew’s mind goes blank for a moment, before catching up to what Rain’s suggesting, and he feels a frisson of excitement zig-zag its way down his spine. “Yeah,” he grins. “Go ahead and make Papa proud.” _ Dewdrop cuts his finger, Rain and Aether kiss it better, as you do.

Worship, Bow Down - Dewdrop/Sister Imperator - E, 3.4k

“All work and no play’s turned you cruel,” Dew laments, and rises. Places his palms on the heavy desk and leans in, shower-damp hair in a curtain over his shoulders. “Could sweeten you back up. If you wanted.” Imperator takes a quick breath in. “Office hours are over,” she says. “Lock the door.” “Did that on the way in.” He has the cheek to wink. He trails his fingers over the wood as he walks around to her, loving the way her eyes follow him, up until he stands behind her, rests those elegant hands on her shoulders and gives them a little squeeze. “Feeling tingly yet?” Or, the road is fun, but coming home is, too.

Quintessence Control - Aether/Aeon/Dewdrop - E, 1.1k

"Didn't you say you wanted to show me a little something?" Aeon wiggles his fingers and Dew goes still. Against his neck, Aether places a wet, sucking kiss. "Okay?" he whispers against Dew's skin, fingertips stroking over his temple, down the side of his face. "Cool if we play?" Dew chokes out a yes, and Aether takes a slow, deep breath and bleeds magick into him, tangling himself between every neuron in his brain. (You should also read this one actually)

Stoned Edging - Aeon/Swiss - E, 1.4k

"Unholy shit," Aeon breathes, sounding delighted and fucked-out, trying to steady the rise and fall of his chest. "How many are we at now?" Swiss doesn't know. Too many times, and they're both far too high to remember the count. Their little game of how bad they can make it for each other relies on two things: one, the shared love of an exquisite, particular sort of misery, and two, how much of Mountain's greenhouse stash they can get away with pilfering. It's something the others don't have the patience for. Not the way they do, at least. They're over the top with it. Unnecessary. It's delicious.

Run Rabbit Run - Rain/Swiss - E, 17.5k

“I want you to show me just how important he is,” Swiss says and Rain doesn’t understand, dazed with the slow slide and massage of lips against his while he speaks. His brain is fogged up, useless. “Will you do that for me, sweetheart?” “How?” The hands on his face remain, though Swiss once again leans away in order to look at him properly, wearing that serene smile that says he knows more than Rain ever will. Or, The hunter strikes it rich.

𖤐 you know the drill--bookmark, read, and leave kudos/comments!

Did I forget your favorite? You've got a standing invitation from me to add your own rec and reblog ♡

#HBD SAINT ♡#swiss and dew are in almost all of them #whoops #my fic recs #birthday mixtape #the band ghost fanfiction #spicy tag #dewdrop ghoul #swiss ghoul #aeon ghoul #aether ghoul #nameless ghouls #rain ghoul #ghost band fanfic #nameless ghouls fic

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flowerbetweenfangs · 3 months

Text

Love Bite

6.2k words.

CW: Dead lover (although not seen dead), general zombie/undead activities. While the ghouls are sapient/pass the harkness test, they are made up of an amalgamation of human bodies. If that disturbs you, I would skip this one.

Disclaimer: I haven't seen/played or consumed any Fallout media, these ghouls aren't like those (at least not intentionally). They're more like Frankenstein's monsters,/the ghouls from Tokyo Ghoul with a more spiritual connection.

Summary: A woman goes to the undead base on feeding night to get some answers... And maybe more from their leader.

This was originally written as a script, and I've repurposed it as a short story. I hope the switch works.

The radio had been blaring for hours, warning that it was feeding night. While most of the undead would be confined to hallowed ground, a few stragglers had been spotted roaming the streets. It wasn’t unheard of for a living human to be on the receiving end of a life changing, or ending, bite. The only people out were the Cleaners, driving slowly in armored vehicles, coming out in special suits that, supposedly, a ghoul couldn’t bite through.

You had managed to avoid being seen by both, ducking around corners and sprinting past streetlights. The belt around your waist was heavy, but filled with the items needed to fend off an undead that ventured too close. They had formed a shaky peace with the humans who occupied the town, offering their services as both mediums and mercenaries. Tougher than the average human, with a connection to the veil between life and death. Their prices were never cheap, of course, but it seemed to be something people would pay for.

In return, they were allowed free run once a night to feast. Although if the rumors were true, then the ghouls would also pay for access to fresh meat outside of the allotted date. The same thing that brought them to life wouldn’t last forever, and there were whispers of the undead showing up with fresher body parts than they had previously.

Nothing official, of course. But rumors, like hordes, spread fast and couldn’t be contained for long.

You weren’t sure if them eating the living or using their bodies for… Bodies was worse.

As you passed another armored truck, two Suits scraped up a mishmash of ghoul and its victim. Both had lost the fight.

Pushing it out of your mind, you swallowed and steeled yourself for what was to come.

The moon had reached its high point when you arrived at the cathedral. Iron gates surrounded it on all sides. You could see Roamers out front, moaning in their own language with an occasional bit of the local tongue slipped in. Judging by how human their bodies still looked, they must have been recently turned.

Walking around, you found a hole in the fence and wriggled under it. Your belt caught, stopping you against where sidewalk met grass. Pulling a baton free, you clutched it one hand, and unclipped the belt with the other.

As fast as you could, you crawled under the pickets, wincing as your shirt snagged on one and ripped. With the moaning and groaning in the background, you hoped the sound was masked. Sucking in your stomach, you wriggled under and quickly yanked the belt after you, quickly putting it back on before standing.

A paper fell out of your unbuttoned pouch, and you snatched it up, trying to shove the contents back inside while keeping your head on a swivel.

Keeping the baton out, you stared at the stained glass windows. Once upon a time, they had shown images of doves, holy books, and saints. Now, they showed the undead, brought to life by a mixture of science and a bit of magic. Some said they were the second coming, but you didn’t believe it.

Gritting your teeth, you made a beeline for the side door. The front was filled with the roamers. A few were passed out on the ground, chests rising and falling with the memory of breathing.

It took all your self-control not to turn around and go through the hole you came through.

It was all going well, until you felt a wet spot on the back of your shirt. Pausing, you put a hand to the spot, and pulled away your fingers, heart leaping in your throat when you saw they came away red.

Blood.

A warm summer breeze hit you, and the creaking of ancient bones filled the air as the roamers turned in your direction. Cloudy eyes squinted as nostrils flared. Clutching the baton, you ran to the side door.

The handle felt slick in your grasp as you fumbled with it. As you tugged, the sound of metal scraping on metal seemed so loud, no doubt alerting the hoard of your presence if your blood already hadn’t.

Some shuffled toward you, heads tilted to the side as they seemed to take you in, But before you could get a better look, you yanked the door open and ran inside, slamming it behind you.

A few candles lit up the hallway as florescent lights flickered above enough to give you pause. Panting, you clutched the weapon tighter as you waited for something to burst from the darkness.

Something instead hit the door behind you, spurring you forward. Casting a glance over your shoulder, you saw a few staring at you through the glass. Sweaty palm prints pressed against the pane as they leaned against it. Black fluid seeped from lips as they sniffed.

Backing away, you had barely turned around when you nearly slammed into a figure in the dark. You took a swing, feeling it connect. A grunt told you it made an impact. The scent of posies and peppermint filled your nose, making your hair stand on end.

Then, a large hand wrapped around your arm, twisting it to make you drop the weapon, Your body turned with it, dumping a few of your belt’s contents onto the floor. Before your arm snapped, you saw the amber eyes, a signature of the resurrected dead.

He sniffed, the ichor seeping from his lips. Unlike the Roamers outside, it was less viscous and more of a dark grey as opposed to pure black.

You brought your hand back to strike him, but he let go, sending you to the floor in a heap. Before you could get your bearings, he reached down and picked up the paper.

“You’re here to see Romero?” His teeth looked like they had been filed to a point. His grey tongue stewed in more drool.

The raspy voice sent another chill up your spine. Sure, ghouls could speak, but it was one thing to hear it over a radio or television, another thing to hear it in person.

“Y-yeah.” You managed to say, eyeing your weapon. As you inched toward it, you felt your stomach drop as the creature’s hand grabbed your shoulder, then slid down to your bicep.

Unceremoniously hauled to your feet, you winced and waited for the bite….

But it never came.

“Very well….” He started to walk, all but pulling down the hallway. To keep yourself from being dragged, you regained your footing and did your best to match the much larger man’s pace.

When you both came to double doors leading the auditorium, you saw the name plate.

Romero.

The ghoul knocked on the door, his meaty fist making it echo in the empty hall. You squinted, half expecting more undead to come scrambling out of the dark and to devour you.

“Enter.” A voice called from on the other side of the door. It was muffled, but your heart still skipped a beat at how… Familiar it sounded.

Your escort opened the door. The creaking drug out, and your heart skipped a beat to see…

A man you’d never seen before. The scarred, mismatched skin of a ghoul covered his body, along with the split coloring of black and white on his scalp, one half straight, the other curly. His attire was a suit, pressed, with a bright red tie.

He was sat at a desk next to the pulpit, flipping through a file. Classical music softly played on a record player, not audible beyond the room.

“Leave us, please.” He didn’t look up from his file.

The escort’s grip on your arm loosened. Hot breath stirred at your neck, and you turned at the last second, seeing his opened mouth mere inches from your shoulder.

“Get your mouth away from her.” The file hit the desk, scattering a few loose pieces of paper. Romero finally looked up, eyes shimmering in the candlelight.

Your escort stepped away, wiping his mouth and slurping down the drool.

“How would you like it if someone gave you a plate of food they’d taken a bite out of?” Romero’s eyes narrowed, and he snapped his fingers, pointing to the door.

“Sorry boss, won’t happen again.”

“Make sure of it.” Romero followed him to the door. The creaking of his joints made you grit your teeth. His movements were just slow enough to look strange. How long had it been since you fed? Your eyes flicked to the desk again, where you saw a plate, only juices remaining of what he’d been eating.

Swallowing, you stood up straight, trying to not show fear.

Romero closed the door, turning the lock and hanging the key on a nail next to it.

“So.” He deeply sighed, closing his eyes. Veins protruded from his skin, slithering across his brow and cheeks. “You’ve come to the cathedral during feeding night.”

He opened his eyes, the veins stopped squirming, and he began to walk toward you, hands clasped behind his back. When he stopped, the scent of peppermint rolled over you. Sweat beaded on your upper lip as you swallowed, trying to not spit as the scent burrowed its way into your mouth and tongue.

“I’m amazed the horde didn’t take you at the gate.” He towered over you, eyes tracking back and forth as he sized you up.

Your breath caught in your throat as memories flooded back. Those eyes… So long ago.

They looked at you with love.

“Relax.” He turned to the side and waved a dismissive hand through the air, as if trying to rid himself of a bad smell. “I’m not fond of eating someone whose mind would be a detriment to my intellect.”

“A detriment?” You raised a brow, shaking the thoughts from your mind. Right. The creature in front of you was a thief!

“That’s how I would describe your actions. Too stupid to live.” He unfolded the piece of paper, staring at the flyer and rolling his eyes.

“If more people like you were in power, the undead would have overtaken the city in months when we first started to walk.”

“Are you going to insult me this whole time?” You clenched your fists. “If this is how you treat everyone, I’m amazed the undead weren’t mowed down when you first started to walk.”

“Have a seat.” He gestured to the pew in front of the desk, before pulling open a drawer. “Clementine? Cranberries?”

“What?” You expected to see a few cans or fruit cups, but your mouth watered when he pulled out the fresh produce, along with a bottle of water.

“You think we only eat the flesh of the dead?” He tossed you the bottle of water, which you caught. Checking to make sure that it hadn’t been opened or had holes in the cap, you slowly opened it. “You’ve got a lot to learn.”

Finishing the water bottle, you set it next to you on the pew. You heart skipped a beat as his eyes fell on you again, now glittering with curiosity.

“You’re too old for your actions to be a dare or some childish foolhardiness.” Romero didn’t sit, but leaned on his desk. It creaked under his weight. “Did a spurned lover put you out? Angry boss threw you here because you fell behind on your performance?”

You shook your head. Why was he asking so many questions?

Sweat trickled down your neck as you pushed down the memories starting to rear their heads again. Grabbing the water bottle, you made a show of crushing it down until only a small ring of plastic was under the cap.

“Are you in debt? Terminally ill?” His voice was softer, light returning to his eyes. His cheeks and hands started to look less clammy. “Because if it’s the latter, you’ll find no reprieve here. A vampire might be more to your liking.”

“If I had those problems, then I would have let the hordes in the street take me. Maybe I would have been someone dragging terrified living through the halls.” You put a hand to your bicep, knowing it was likely going to bruise. At least a handprint was better than a bite mark.

“You’ve seen my kind.” The kindness was gone as he all but bit off each word. He held up an arm, showing where his wrist met the rest of his arm. The skin tones were slightly different. “Mismatched and sewn together from the best parts the dead—” He paused, rolling his eyes in a reluctant admittance. “—And occasional living, offer. We pay for the bodies, they pay us for the minds.”

“Yes.” You nodded to the paper in his hand. “I’ve seen it. Flyers around town, teasing them with promises of being able to talk to loved ones who passed on, or helping the police find criminals.”

“Is that why you’ve come?” He smiled, crumpling the paper in his fist and tossing it over his shoulder.

Inhaling sharply, you gripped your pant legs, nails digging into the fabric.

“Did I hit a nerve?” The smile grew larger, but didn’t reach his eyes. A small part of you was relieved.

“I take it you didn’t come prepared with money?”

“The flyer didn’t—”

“I never take clients on feeding nights.” He held up a hand to cut you off, then stepped down the stairs to close the distance between you. “Too grisly. Lots of people upset that I’m eating in front of them.”

You couldn’t hide your disgust as your lip drew backward and your face scrunched up. Leaning back in the pew, you crossed your arms. So, you’d come all this way for nothing?

“I’ve consumed lots of minds over the years.” He put two fingers to his temples. “So many memories jumbled together. It’s hard to tell who they originally belonged to. The process to get… Specific can be taxing. Of course, these things don’t come cheap, but there are many who are willing to pay if it means getting some closure from a loved one.”

The eyes… They stared at you, trying to gauge your reaction. When your face relaxed, you were rewarded with a clementine. Peeling back the skin, you stared down at the fruit.

“Usually something is needed to trigger recollection. A trinket. A song.” His voice was a lot closer. Closing your eyes, you didn’t dare look up to see how near he was to your face. Surprisingly, you could smell mint mixed in with his warm breath.

“A smell…”

A breeze stirred. And the memories lanced their way through your mind. Even when your squeezed your eyes shut, they remained.

“I can see it now, actually.” Romero’s voice was faint, fading into the ambience of downtown. A train whistled, and you sat on a bench, a suitcase at your side.

“You were supposed to meet him at the train station.” Romero’s voice was gone. The cadence… The tone… the speech pattern. You didn’t dare turn around to face him, for fear that everything would fade away. His voice. The one that matched the eyes.

“Both of you wanted to escape to a new city, leave this life behind. A place without the undead. Where you wouldn’t have to worry about the pressures of your families. Somewhere no one knew either of you. A clean slate. Thrive, not just survive.”

“But his family had debts.” The scene began to fade away as a clock above the train tracks spun, people and other occupants of the station moved by in a blur.

“Ones that buried them worse than the corpses that make up the graveyard. They gave up everything to make it. Gambling on someone that they hoped would be the light at the end of their miserable tunnel.”

The cathedral returned, and you saw Romero’s mismatched hand out of the corner of your eye.

“He was far from the only one.” The ghoul dropped his hand and shook his head. The pew creaked as he stood back in front of you.

“His body was the base for my current form.” He ran his hands over his suit, fingers tracing over the buttons. For a moment, you thought he would undo them and show you the patchwork beneath it.

“But, like many, it needed better pieces. Parts had to be replaced. So many minds were absorbed in creating this.” His hands went back to his temples, pointer fingers resting on them.

“Of… Me?” He sounded unsure, brow furrowing as his straight hair fell over his eyes. “Us?”

His fingers went from his temples to his eyelids.

“The eyes stayed, though. His were lovely. Although I suppose you knew that the moment ours met.”

You sucked in air through your teeth.

“What…” He shook his head and dropped his hands, placing a hand on his chest. His voice lacked bravado. For a moment, it looked like a tear was shimmering on his cheek. “Who he was doesn’t exist anymore. He’s… sorry. That he left you waiting. But he’s glad to see you’re doing well.”

Your heart fell into your stomach. If you hadn’t been sitting, then your legs would have given out. Panting, you placed a hand on your chest in a mirror of his own pose.

“Interesting…” His hand went to cover his mouth, but you would still hear his words. “Memories of the dead… Creating feelings.”

He made a fist and cleared his throat, body becoming stiff.

“Is that all you needed to hear? I think we’re pushing things as we are.”

“How did you do all that? Make me see that night?” Your words came out barely above a whisper. Your voice shook with each word. “Is this some trick?”

Your heart fluttered, and you reached out to touch the ghoul, as if that would bring them all back again.

“Forgive me, it was a mistake to refer to him in the present tense.” He started to back away from you, waving his hand in that dismissive way. “I don’t mean to make you angry.”

“I’m…” You felt tears slipping down your cheeks, large and hot. They fell down onto your collar and chest. “Not angry…” It surprised you, but you realized it was the truth. You certainly weren’t happy… But far from… The fury you expected.

“Such an expression doesn’t do you justice.” His expression softened, and his hand cupped your soaked cheek.

“You’re still radiant despite it.”

“Is this… Normal?”

“Your presence is pulling him to the forefront. Quieting the others.” He put a finger to his lips with his freehand, closing his eyes. Inhaling deeply, he exhaled the minty breath over your face, covering you with goosebumps.

You didn’t dare say anything. Didn’t breathe. Worried that any noise you made would send him back to the hive mind. Losing him forever. A second death after seeing him for only a short amount of time.

How could people subject themselves to this?

“There are a lot of minds I’ve absorbed. Memories.” His hand went from your cheek to the curve of your neck.

“But never emotions.”

“So does that mean he’s… Piloting you right now?” You felt silly for asking. Of course he wouldn’t be. Why would he refer himself to the third person?

“It would be impossible to bring him back, I apologize.” He dropped his hand. The icy cold of your cheek stung, like he’d slapped it.

“And yet…”

You finally sucked in a breath. Your heart slammed against your ribs, a battering ram that threatened to break them. Swallowing hard, you placed your palms on the back of the pew and forced yourself to stand.

“I appreciate all you’ve done. But I think we’re moving past a professional relationship.”

“Right. Yes.” He finally broke the gaze, and it was like a piece of you was torn free. “There is a cot that you can stay on until feeding night is over. Once the sun is out, then you can head home.”

You headed to the door, hand hovering above the key. It was the one thing that would give your freedom, but lock him away forever.

So many questions swirled around in your mind. It was a rare opportunity.

Turning back around, you nearly jumped out of your skin when you saw Romero standing between the pews. Far enough away to give him deniability of following you, but closer than he’d been when you’d arrived.

“Perhaps it’s these eyes of his.” He clasped his hands behind his back. “But ever since you walked into this room, I haven’t been able to see you as food, but as a thing of beauty. And your smell… Appetizing, but it entranced me further.”

He took another step closer, eyes flicking to the key. It was slow enough to give you enough time to leave. To tell him to stop.

But you didn’t move.

These eyes of his…

Memories… Feelings… Sorry… Glad to see you’re doing well…

“I don’t want you to get confused.” You blurted. “You aren’t him.”

“I know.” He admitted. “But these memories…” He stopped within arm’s length of you. “I will never be a replacement for him, but perhaps you can find some comfort in that a small part of him will continue to live on.”

You sniffed and wiped your eyes. The touch. The gaze. The way he talked… There was no way to convince yourself it was him…

But this was as close as you could get.

You closed the distance between you two and wrapped your arms around him. The way he felt was… Wrong, but at least the warmth was the same. You expected stiff and cold. But you let your head rest on his chest, expecting to hear and feel the familiar rhythm of his heart.

Only silence answered.

His fingers went under your chin, and he tilted your head up toward his. Rough lips brushed against yours in a chaste kiss. You closed your eyes. All you could see was the ghoul in the darkness.

“Perhaps we can continue to learn from one another.” His lips scratched against your earlobe. “You’ll find more of your love’s memories, and I’ll explore these emotions and senses…” His fingers slid between yours, the touch sending a jolt of pleasure through you.

You finally locked eyes with him, looping your arms around his neck. His hands went to your waist, and your bodies pressed up against one another.

Your lips met again, and he grabbed the back of your head and crushed you two together. He moaned softly, his rough mouth wet against yours. Remembering the ichor, you squeezed your own shut and prayed none would get into your mouth.

Then, a growl.

A sharp pain went up the curve of your neck. His hair brushed your skin and you tangled your hands in his hair.

Had it all been an act?

Was this how you died?

Then, he was off, licking his lips and shaking his head.

“Sorry… Some natures are… Hard to ignore.” He stared at you, straightening his arms to look you over.

“Are you alright?”

“It hurts.” You admitted, putting a hand to the bite. It stung, but the skin didn’t seem to be broken. “Will I turn?”

“No.” He shook his head. “It’s… Just a love bite.”

You swallowed. Your head spun as you leaned into him once again. The surprise wore off, and so did the pain.

“Then I’m fine.”

“If I had a pulse,” He cupped your cheek again, bending down to brush his lips against yours in a much more chaste kiss. Guiding your hand to his chest, he let it rest. “It would be racing right now. “There’s so much of you I want to feel and taste… When I thought about sinking my teeth into your flesh, I never wanted to break it. Only leave you bruised.”

He made a clicking noise with his tongue.

“I suppose… I’ve already done that.” He tilted his head to the side and winced apologetically, fingers brushing against the bite mark. Each touch made you stand up straight and suck in a breath, crushing your bodies together again, to where only your clothes separated you.

“I wanted… Want to indulge all of my senses with you.” He pulled you in for an embrace again, planting a kiss on the top of your head. “The moans that escape you dancing on the razor’s edge of pleasure and pain.”

A kiss on your forehead.

“Lips that call out my name toward the heavens rather than cursing me into the dirt.”

A kiss on your eyelid.

“Fingers that tangle in my clothing.” A kiss on your earlobe again, as his own digits twisted in the back of your shirt. “Pulling me closer instead of pushing away.”

A kiss on your nose.

“Inhaling my scent rather than twisting away in disgust…”

A kiss on the lips.

“A flavor that brings us mutual pleasure.”

When he pulled away, you kissed him again. Your legs trembled, and he brought you to one of the pews and let you lean against it.

“We take parts of other bodies,” His hands roamed, going under your shirt. He found the wound from the fence, but his fingers danced around it with such dexterity that it didn’t hurt.

“I’d love to see one in its base state.”

You felt the all too familiar hardness between his legs. The touch almost made you cry out in shock. Sure, they took bodies, but they were… Anatomically correct?

“I’m undead, but I can still respond to stimuli.” He chuckled, then pulled back to give you room between him and the pew. “We may not reproduce like you do, but there’s still some pleasure that can be taken from it…”

“Ghouls have sex?”

“Maybe not nearly as often as humans do. But some memories stir… And if there’s a mood…” He titled his hand side to side with a noise of uncertainty.

“But I’ve never wanted to do it as much as I have with you right now.”

“Then surely… You remember how I like to be touched?” You felt your cheeks burn at your own forwardness. This was crazy.

But yet, you found yourself fumbling for your clothes, tossing them behind you on the pew.

He stared, lips parted slightly as he took you in.

“Perfection…”

The staring didn’t last long before he was kissing you again.

“I mean it. Truly.” He managed between kisses as his hands continued to explore, finding every sensitive spot and curve on you, his touch only becoming more eager as you let out soft sighs and moans.

“Just as lovely as it was… No… Better.”

Then, he broke the barrage of kisses to loosen his tie and start unbuttoning his suit. Unbuckling his belt, he gave you a sly look as his pants fell around his ankles. He stripped all fabric off him, revealing the patchwork skin beneath in the candlelight.

“It’s only fair if I’m as naked as you.”

Shadows danced across his skin, making it harder to tell where some ended and others began. A strange stitching of flesh that he somehow made look whole.

“As I said, we take all the best parts… Some for aesthetic. Some for health.”

You ran your hands over his skin, fingers more adept at finding the cracks in him than your eyes.

“I try to find a mixture of both.” He let out a soft gasp as your hands trailed lower over his hip bones. “Haphazard, yet coherent.”

Then you saw the cock rising and drooling. The fluid glistened in the light, and you sucked in a breath.

“His eyes weren’t the only thing I kept…” He softly moaned as your fingers brushed against it. Somehow, it managed to grow harder and leak more, leaving a glistening trail on your skin.

“It remembers your touch quite well. You appear to be a master of the flesh yourself.”

He brought you in for another kiss, moaning into your mouth as you pumped him. Your hands became slick with him, and it helped lube him up more. His hips bucked, hilting into your grip. You squeezed more, increasing your pace as you felt between your legs tingle with the memory of him…

You dropped to your knees, continuing to stroke, the head dampening with your pants.

“It seems to fit in your hand…” He moaned as you took him into your mouth. “And mouth , perfectly!”

He moaned, thrusting into your mouth. You opened wide for him, letting him go as deep as he could. It had been a while, but you moaned around him, grabbing his thighs to pull him back in when he tried to back out. When he did manage to get free, you sucked on his thighs and balls, tongue leaving a shimmering path behind you.

His panting and your sucking joined the classical music in the background.

“That’s certainly one way to draw out memories!” He moaned into you, resting his hands on the pew so he could thrust more into your mouth, but not hard enough to slam your head against the wood. You grabbed him harder, forcing him as deep as he could go while still sucking.

“I imagine a lot more of my kind would be willing to work with the living using this method!”

You pulled your mouth free, looking at his rock hard length, wet with your saliva. You pumped it a few more times, running your lips across the shaft and lapping at his balls. The taste… the smell.. the sight… You almost felt dizzy with delight at how familiar it all was.

“I imagine kneeling on a stone floor isn’t terribly comfortable.” He offered his hand, and you took it. With a grunt, he hauled you to your feet. He brought his hands between your legs, the grin returning when he felt the wetness between them.

“I feel it’s only fair to return the favor.”

His lips were against your skin, sending more goosebumps over it as your nipples became erect.

“Go ahead and lay back.”

You balanced on the edge of the pew. At least the sides were large enough to let you sit without it digging too much into your behind.

“Probably more comfortable.” He mumbled against your collarbone as he started to slide down, his lips and tongue mingling with your breasts, your stomach, hips…

“I have a… different hunger that needs to be satisfied.”

He drew his tongue across your wetness, swirling around your clit, breath warm against your folds. He rolled his head, drawing out the motion, before drawing it back. His lips rested against your thigh, before he clamped down on it again.

“Sorry.” His eyes went wide as his mouth continued to nibble across your thigh, before he pulled off with a suctioning sound. Grunting, he pulled off, about to apologize again, before you wrapped your legs around his head and yanked him closer.

“I didn’t take you for the type to enjoy that.” His muffled voice rumbled through you, and your back arched.

He continued to lick, parting your lips so he could plunge in deeper. His tongue moved with precision, teeth barely grazing your clit. Warm breath punctuated with moans vibrated through your entire body as he continued to devour you, not even coming up for air.

Eager lips parted and lapped at your wetness, fingers prying you open and delving deeper as he moved his head side to side, face slick with your essence.

You braced yourself on the pews, panting and moaning as the licks continued to spark the desire in you, then fanned the small flame into an inferno. You cried out, back arching again as your legs locked around his head. Taking shallow breaths, you tried to not fall backward.

“You’re truly on that edge.” He said with another lick, pulling back and running his tongue up your thigh. “A precipice of danger and desire.”

With no mercy, he licked and sucked more, focusing purely on your clit as his fingers slipped in and out of you, going deep and brushing against your most sensitive spots. Your moans grew louder, your body slick with sweat as the inferno raged out of control. You saw stars, your vision fracturing like the stained glass all around you.

“I want to fill that emptiness left. Cure an ache I never knew I had.” He murmured against you.

“I can’t replace him, but…”

You rocked forward, all but collapsing into his arms and sending you both to the floor in a heap. He caught the both of you, his suit forming a sort of cushion beneath the two of you. It still hurt, but you didn’t care, only kissing him more.

“Maybe… Just for tonight. We can both feel alive, again.”

You answered with a kiss.

“I can’t do much to make a stone floor comfortable, sorry.” He pointedly looked around at all the scattered clothing. “I doubt the two of us could fit properly on a pew…”

He sat up with a grunt, still cradling you in one arm.

“The only really cushioned spot in here is my chair…” He nodded to the desk.

“So. I guess you’ll have to sit on my lap.” He grunted and winced as his joints popped while standing.

“Come on, up we go.”

You started to stand, but your body felt like jelly and collapsed underneath you again.

“Having trouble getting your legs under you?” He grabbed your hand tighter and then pulled you into a bridal carry, taking you to the desk.

“You’re not?”

He sat you down against the desk. You leaned on it for support as he sat in his chair, patting his thigh.

“Have a seat.” There was the glittering of mischief in his eyes. So warm. With a smile that actually reached the edges.

You straddled his lap, clinging tight to his shoulders as you hovered over him. You could feel the wetness of your entrance and his tip as they brushed against one another. Letting out another gasp, you lined yourself up and finally took him inside.

“A perfect fit.” His whispered into your ear.

Once you had gotten comfortable, he began to thrust up into you, hands on your hips.

“ It’s like everything I remembered,” He said between moans. “Despite never having felt it before.”

He started to speed up, reaching further than his fingers and tongue ever could. Your walls opened up, allowing him inside you. Your synchronized moans overtook the record player, but you didn’t care.

“Creating new memories…” He crashed his lips onto yours, and you met his movements with your own. He moaned into your mouth, his cock twitching as his grip on you only grew tighter.

“The hair’s width of distance—” Another moan, and his breath caught. Sweat poured down his brow with exertion. “Between life and death growing thinner.”

He slowed, drawing out the motion intentionally, all but dragging himself inside you.

“And thinner.” His voice was breathy, shallow breaths warmed your skin and lips.

He sped up again, hilting you each time and making you cry out. You stopped meeting his movements and clung onto him as he thrust in and out of you.

“Every kiss—” He once again brought his lips to yours. “Moan…” His voice trailed off into a moan. “Drop of sweat….” His hands released your hips and let you fall onto him.

“Another way to make the barrier dissolve. And when you lean against me…” He thrust again, the motion lazy and agonizingly slow.

“It’s like you’re pushing through… I guess we’ll have to keep finding holes and make due.” He chuckled and thrust up into you again.

Then, he clamped onto your neck again. Rather than pain, you only went over the edge in pleasure, nails digging into him as you cried out. You clamped down on him as he released inside you. Fluid and wet mixed on your thighs and his lap, dripping onto the floor.

He sucked, cradling you close and finally pulling off, kissing it apologetically.

“I guess there’s some parts of my nature I can’t ignore.” He whispered against your skin. “We have some medical supplies to treat that.”

You couldn’t help but shoot him a look at you clutched the fresh bite. Your heart fluttered as your legs and between them tingled. Despite the fear, you couldn’t push down the excitement flooding your body.”

“Don’t worry, you won’t turn. Takes a bit more… Finesse to become one of us.”

You resting your head against his chest, hand searching for his beating heart. You let out a sigh of disappointment when you remembered there wouldn’t be one.

“I appreciate you indulging me. I hope this brought you some closure.” He stroked between your shoulder blades and nuzzled up against you.

“And if it didn’t… Perhaps we could try again?” You expected him to laugh or make a joke, but his face was… Hopeful.

“I feel like I’ve been revived a second time. It’s a phenomenon I’d like to explore more.” He stared at his hands, which were shaking. “New methods to channel the dead and creating memories that can… Coexist with the old ones.”

“Making breakthroughs?” You managed to say. “Discovering new methods on how things work with your kind?”

“I think your teaching style differs from what I’m used to.” His hand slid into yours again. “And I’d love to learn more. Maybe your mind can be of use to me after all.”

#monster lover #monster love #monster boyfriend #monster romance #monster x human #monster fucker #monsterfucker #terato #writeblr #monster x reader #monster/reader #ghoul #ghoul x reader #ghoul/reader

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kittydragondraws · 3 months

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Murder Drones - Trauma and Healing

I was once of the opinion that Murder Drones never really had a theme or message. It was kind of just, watch the funny robots be funny.

But the more I've thought about it the more I've realized, Murder Drones does have a theme. And that theme?

Trauma, how it affects people, and how to heal from it.

In this essay I will go over five of the characters of the show, Uzi, N, V, Doll, and Tessa, and describe their traumas. How it affects their actions, and what they do to heal from them.

Uzi - Lonliness and Acceptance

Uzi grew up with no friends, classmates who either hated or ignored her, an emotionally negligent father, and a dead (*cough* in church *cough*) mother. Truth be told, she had no one. No one to talk to, no one who would listen to her, no one who cared about her.

She was alone and very vulnerable. However, she didn't like that. She didn't want people to see her as vulnerable, she didn't want people to see her as weak. So she developed her edgy, "not like other girls" persona to convince people that she wasn't dying inside. That she took all her pain in stride and was owning it.

However, her coping mechanism of creating her goth girl persona didn't help in the long term as it didn't combat her true problem. She was lonely, lonely and... just wanted someone who cared about her.

And one day, while going out to find the last piece of her railgun she needs to save the world and earn her dad's respect and stuff, she meets N. N, the bloodthirsty drone killer, who was willing to sit down and talk to her.

Sure he was blind and thought she was a fellow Murder Drone, but he didn't immediately push her away as emo. Sure he admittedly was used to much worse treatment from much worse people, and Uzi was probably a saint compared to them (which we'll touch on in his part).

But even afterwards, when he realized she was a Worker, and that he would get in massive trouble with J if he let her go, he willingly spared her life. Saw her father leave her to die, and took pity on her.

Where the two came to develop a connection and eventually, friendship.

Uzi had made her first friend.

N - Self Worth and Free Will

His whole life, N has been used and abused.

While we don't know much about his first life, his life before the Elliots, we can only assume he was still treated as a slave, as much as the rest of the Worker race is.

His life with Tessa and her family, while seemingly happy, he still lived with them as a servant. Tessa may have been a good owner, but she was still an owner. He, J, and V might have been good servants, but they were still servants.

His life as a Disassembly Drone was probably the worst. Not only did he have his entire body forcibly changed against his will, but he now was forced to take innocent lives as he relied on their bodies for sustenance. Not to mention he also had his brain swiss cheesed to hell and back, and didn't even know because well... can't remember things well when those memories are full of holes.

Not to mention, the people he was forced to serve under were awful to him. The most obvious one is J, who was him as a waste of materials and space. She literally wanted N dead, leaving a piece of paper that read "kill yourself" in a dog book that she knew N would read, as a Disassembly Drone telling N that if the company allowed it she would kill him herself, and literally stabbing him with a deadly virus after she saw he had dissented.

However the Solver, the Solver was worse. It killed him several times over, wiped his memories of his past deaths, turned him into a monster, and forced him to kill an unspeakable amount of humans and drones. It could clone him an infinite amount of times. If one clone learned too much or got too rebellious, there were always the next hundred. He was disposable, in episode 7, the solver literally said he had served his purpose. The worst part? There's no way of truly knowing what the Solver did to him or forced him to do. How many clones of N it tortured, killed, and replaced.

But what's even worse than this? He enjoyed it. Well, enjoyed is a strong word. But he saw it as okay. He believed that being treated like trash was normal. He literally thanked J for stepping on his neck. He thanked J for "looking out for him" after getting stabbed with the virus.

When Uzi questioned him about what the "company" would do to him after they were finished with their mission on Copper 9, he didn't know. He was blindly following orders, doing what he was told. With no thought to the consequences. He never considered that JcJenson would view them as a bunch of useless, worthless, disposable robots...

Then he meets Uzi. Sure she's a bit rough around the edges, but she doesn't hurt him or belittle him. She values his opinions and him as a person.

She doesn't see him as a means to an end. She sees him as N.

V - Protection and Attachment

V hid information from and hurt N, yet she did it to protect him. V remembered more than N from the manor. More of the killing, the bloodshed, the forced experimentation, more of the Solver.

She didn't want N to remember. To have the same painful memories she did. So she did her best to keep them hidden from him. Keep him in the dark about the Solver.

How did she do that? Avoid telling him anything she knew, anything that he could use to get closer to the truth. She wanted him to stay in blissful ignorance, something she would love to have.

However, her desire to keep N safe didn't just extend to keeping him safe from the Solver, but keeping him safe from her.

She was afraid of loosing N, and the pain that would bring. So if she developed a deep emotion attatchment to N, like say... reciprocating his crush... it would only hurt if she ever lost him again. And she wasn't ready to deal with that pain.

So she pushed him away. pretended to be mean, pretended to be crass, pretended to not notice, not care, literally pretended to forget his name. No attachment, no pain.

But then, Uzi comes along, and her eye starts glitching to show a Solver symbol. V remembers their orders, kill all the Solver infected drones on the planet. But N, N likes this little drone. he sees her as a friend. He won't let V kill her, becuase he doesn't know what she can do.

It would be so easy for V to go behind N's back and kill her, afterall, N's made friends with rocks before. He'd get over a pathetic Worker, right?

But as time goes on, V starts to understand more about Uzi, about why N likes her. She's smart she's kind, she gives a damn about his opinions. She tells him things... that's more than V ever could've done.

And when V realizes N doesn't need her protection anymore, she's willing to let him go.

Doll - Obsession and Isolation

Doll just wanted to be normal. She just wanted to be free from the Solver's influence and live a normal teenage robot life. But she also wanted revenge, revenge on the drone that took her parents from her, revenge on the drone that set her down this path on the first place, V.

After becoming an orphan, Doll became obsessed with getting her revenge on V, to the point she no longer cared about anyone else. Including who lived and who died. Of course, being Solver infected, she had to drink the oil of the Workers around her, so it's hard to fault her for that.

However, it's hard to tell how many drones she kills out of necessity, and how many she kills for other, less justifiable, reasons. The amount of oil she has in her house? You can't tell me she drinks all of it, at least, not before killing more Workers. The prom girls? That was to lure V into the bunker. Even at prom, She kills two (I think) other Worker Drones, for the crime of getting in her way. Why?

V, everything Doll does, is about V. All of the prom-related deaths she caused, were about V. Doll was obsessed with V, all she cared about was killing V to avenge her parents, not caring about who else she had to hurt to do so. All that mattered, was that V ended up dead.

But after Prom, when she had failed to kill V, and ended up getting killed herself. She learned that Uzi had the Solver as well, finally, someone who could understand her pain, someone she could help. But even after learning she and Uzi are in the same boat, she still chooses to go alone.

At every turn she either leaves Uzi to her own, which usually ends in Uzi getting hurt, or she actively antagonizes her, setting back her own progress in terms of investigating the Solver to further her own goals. Even going as far as to sentence Uzi to death by dinesaw after getting to the elevator.

However, in the end, her relcutance to accept help would be her downfall.

Both Uzi and Doll ended up getting confronted by Tessa, whose goal was to have both dead. However, what separated them in those moments was that they had backup. Or at the very least, one did.

When Tessa had been pinned down by Uzi and was about to be stabbed N was there, knife as hand, ready to do whatever it took to save Uzi. He had had enough of Tessa's shadyness, and now only cared about her.

However Doll, Doll was all alone. When she was attacked by Tessa, she had to try to protect herself. She didn't have anyone she could turn to or rely on for help in that moment. So she ended up getting killed by the very monster she was fighting against.

In her last moments, all she could do was find Uzi. And hope that she'd be able to fight back.

Tessa - Love and Compassion (And Getting Skinned Alive By God)

Tessa's parents hated her. Her mom, Louisa, seemed to view her as an embarrassment and while we don't know much about her relationship with her father, James, it can be assumed he was either generally apathetic to his daughter or found her creepy.

Either way, he didn't care much about her, as he was complicit in Lousia's abuse of her, which included chaining her up to her bedpost like she was a misbehaving dog.

Yet, despite her loveless upbringing, when she was given the opportunity to essentially be a mother to the Worker (Zombie) Drones she rescued from the dump, she chose to be the opposite of what her parents were.

While her parents were cruel and demanding, Tessa loved her drones, flaws and all. She was them almost like her children, little ones she had to protect, keep happy and safe. Heck, she probably cared for them more than she should've, considering that they were robots.

However, there was one drone she had found. One who was different than the others, in a way she could never guess. Cyn, little Cyn. She was different than the other Drones Tessa rescued, she was small, had an odd way of walking, and an odd way of talking. But that was okay to Tessa, she was a Worker Drone deserving of a home.

Tessa could've never guessed that by bringing that Worker into her home. She's not only cause the deaths of her parents and countless other fancy rich people, but also her own and lead to the destruction of the entire human race.

The worst part? She couldn't find peace even in death. With her skin being worn by Cyn and used to masquerade as her, tricking her once beloved drones into assisting the very entity they were trying to defeat.

In Tessa's heartfelt attempt to try and break the cycle of abuse, she ended up causing something worse than she could even imagine.

Trauma is a complicated thing to talk about, and an even more complicated thing to get right. However, I do applaud this show for not only tackling the subject but showing such a wide branch of ways the characters cope with it. From finding others to confide in, to harming others in the pursuit of their own interests. And it pains me the fandom can't recognize this.

So many times have I seen people in this fandom either use a character's trauma as an excuse to absolve them of all blame, or ignore it and try to spin them as the second coming of Satan. When these characters are much more complex and fascinating than people give them credit for.

Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you have a good day.

#kitty's kooky insane ramblings #murder drones #murder drones analysis #essay writing #analysis #character analysis #media analysis #kitty's deep thoughts #<< tag for stuff like this #it's funny this post literally went to hell

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moeitsu · 5 months

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Song Lyrics That Remind Me of Arthur Morgan

Nobody asked for this, but I listen to A LOT of music, and this boah is constantly on my mind 24/7. So I thought I'd share some lyrics that remind me of him and his relationships <3

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

Hard Believer - First Aid Kit

"So you ask for my opinion. Well, what is there to say? To be honest and just foolish, won't make you wanna stay. You've got to go on and get moving. And I can't do that for you. Got so many plans and so much you wanna do. Love is tough, time is rough on me."

To a Poet - First Aid Kit (Mary & Arthur)

"You said, 'Don't give me nothing you don't wanna lose.' I said, 'Darlin' I'll give you everything I got, if you want them to choose.' Though unwillingly I left and it was so, so hard to do. Now I miss you more than I can take and I will surely break. And every morning that I wake, God, it is the same."

Afraid of Heights - Boygenius (Dutch & Arthur)

"I know I fucked up when I told you I'm afraid of heights. It made you wanna test my courage. You made me climb a cliff at night. You wanted me to jump and I declined. You called me a coward, I replied, I don't wanna live forever, but I don't wanna die tonight."

My Silver Lining - First Aid Kit

"I don't know if I'm scared of dyin', but I'm scared of living too fast, too slow. Regret, remorse, hold on. Oh no I've gotta go. There's no starting over, no new beginnings, time races on. You've just gotta keep on keeping on."

Sun Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain

"If they strike once, then you hit 'em twice as hard. But in the end, if I bend under the weight that they gave me, Then this heart would break and fall twice as far. We all know how it goes, the more it hurts, the less it shows. But I still feel like they all know, and that's why I could never go back home."

Saviour - George Ezra (Mary & Arthur)

"Time was young and you were mine. Take me back to that midnight moon. Cradle me, at that midnight moon. All of me is all for you, and what I got to give is not enough. It's a dark night. Being your own savior, is it saving you?"

Cowboy, Gangster, Politician - Goldie Boutilier (Mary & Arthur)

"We said goodbye, but it never ends. 'Cause you can't get away from a woman who loves you. 'Cause you can't run away from feelings that haunt you. No, you can't separate a fire from a flame that already burns. Every saints a sinner, we all have our past. Forever is a fiction, nothing lasts."

Let Him Fly - Patty Griffin (Mary Gillis-Linton)

"Ain't no talking to this man, ain't no pretty other side. Ain't no way to understand, the stupid words of pride. It would take an acrobat, and I already tried all that so, I'm gonna let him fly. You know the light has left his face, but you can't recall just where or why. So there was really nothing to it, I said I'm gonna let him fly."

The Chain - Fleetwood Mac (Dutch & Arthur)

"And if you don't love me now, You will never love me again. I can still hear you saying, we would never break the chain. Run in the shadows. Damn your love, damn your lies."

Devil's Resting Place - Laura Marling

"I've been with the devil in the devil's resting place. Water won't clean you, you only hold yourself to the things you do. Come up here to speak to me and hold your face to mine. Any man can hold my gaze has done his job just fine. You sold your life away to be with me tonight. Hold your head against my chest, I think you'll be just fine."

Through the Valley - Shawn James

"I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. And I fear no evil because I'm blind to it all, and my mind and my gun they comfort me. Because I know I'll kill my enemies when they come. Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell on this earth forevermore. Well, I came upon a man at the top of a hill. Called himself the savior of the human race. Said he'd come to save the world from destruction and pain, but I said, how can you save the world from itself?"

Youngest Daughter - Superheaven

"It's useless, I tried, but to no avail. To tell you how much I know, how much I care. Breathe until your lungs fail, you can sing 'til you go deaf. I am sick, I am horrified at everything I hear. Everyday repeats itself again, the cycle of our misery, It drives us all insane."

The Fall - Gregory Alan Isakov (John & Arthur)

"You heard blood was thick, brothers and sisters. But ya don't know where anybody's at. Time was a bust, you thought you'd better be tough. Nobody gets past the trembling wire. All eyes on you now, on you. We're all holding our breath."

Second Chances - Gregory Alan Isakov (John & Arthur)

"I'm running from nothing, no thoughts in my mind. Oh my heart was all black but I saw something shine. Thought that part was yours, but it might just be mine. I could share it with you, if you gave me the time. I'm all bloody knuckles, longing for home. If it weren't for second chances, we'd all be alone."

My Mind - Paris Paloma (Dutch & Arthur)

"What did I do wrong? Will you tell me what I did wrong, what did I? Was it a first offense? How long had you been harboring that vemon? You could have used your words then, you wanted them to hurt and so I let them. Never would I beseech you, to endure what you put me through."

#arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #dutch van der linde #mary gillis #red dead redemption community #red dead fandom #arthur morgan rdr2 #arthur morgan x reader #rdr2 fanart #john marston

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jiminsass-istant · 9 months

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IT'S NOT ABOUT THE HICKEY

This post was triggered by an anon moving around in these spaces trying to explain away the hickey/bite moment as something trivial. I will save my thoughts on the hickey for the end of this post.

First of all, to that anon- Get off your high horse. Not being a shipper doesn't make you superior. You are probably one of those cringey people cancelling queer armies on tw!tter these days. Now readers, sip your drink as you read this short think piece-

OT7 Captains in the fandom bubble:-

I really don't get the superiority complex of so called OT7s who love to live inside this cute little bubble they have created for themselves or as they call it nowadays:- " a curated tl". Cancelling people everyday and actually driving people away from the fandom. Every bio says "multis, solos, shippers dni". What are you afraid of? Little pixels? I have personally followed solo fbs of all members and boy the things I have found! They can get extreme at times, but it takes 2 minutes to fact-check their claims and draw your own conclusion.

I follow wholesome ship pages too, they are a great way to not miss out cute moments between various duos. If you are blocking them out, you'll be swept into whatever the OT7 decide the important interactions are. 🤷

Have y'all watched 'The Social Dilemma' on Netflix? I would actually want all bts fans to give it a watch. A very prominent tech figure admitted that she follows a good number of Tw!tter accounts that disagree with her to ensure that she gets to see all sides and all opinions. When you deliberately 'curate' a timeline to feed only your opinions, to make a 'safe' space that doesn't trigger you, without letting new thoughts penetrate it..THAT! That's the beginning of a cult.

Army is not a cult for defending BTS or for calling out billboard and other big authorities, but army is indeed a cult with the way they move against people within the fandom.

I said what I said.

With a curated 'OT7 captain' timeline, you start internalising things about the artists that the people you follow want to believe:-

1. All true army are OT7 and non shippers. 💫💫

Sure some of them are. But biases exist for a reason, right? If you think people don't run their bias's playlist more than the other 6, you are so deluded. Spotify wrapped'23 was a prime example. With the solo era, the rise of solo fanbases was unavoidable.

2. Your favourites are spotless, impeccable people. 💌💌💌

They are so not. They date, they make mistakes, they hurt people (like we all do). Heck, they might even offend certain groups of people, unknowingly or knowingly. Being ignorant is also a flaw.

3. Everything they say on camera is true.🙊🙊🙊

Everything they say on camera is what they want you to know. As Park Jimin of BTS, as Kim Namjoon of BTS and so on. And yes, your perception of them should be built based on their words alone, but it doesn't mean that you purposefully stay blind in a way that serves your personal projections onto the members. As Jimin once said " please take our words as they are"(Festa 2022). Read between the lines, and you get- "please do not make assumptions about us, please do not project past or future narratives onto us." No matter how much it makes BTS look like a saint, DO NOT paint them as perfect human beings just because they are your idols.

Once you get into the fandom bubble, you start rejecting all opinions that threaten to puncture that perfect bubble. In that process, you end up never getting to know about how some member promotions were horribly managed, how company delayed certain stuff, the obvious company agenda and different business strategies for different members. It's not about victimising members, but calling out the company when they make obvious mistakes. You do not see when hate against a particular member gets aggravated to the point it affects streams and sales.

And musical preference? The way the fandom just collectively decided that if you hate any song except 'ON ft Sia", you are basically an anti. I have no words.. I'll come out and say: I don't like DNA. SORRY JIMIN. Sure it's a great concert song, or maybe at a party, but it's never making it to my down-time personal playlists. Cancel me?

Top Social Artist?

This is my personal opinion. BTS having a huge presence on social media is both a boon and a curse. While it ensures that new fans are made everyday, the bts social media presence is an uncontrolled monster right now. Millions of insta, YT channels- most of them spreading a superficial image of BTS. It's for this reason, there are so many 'fans' out there who just love BTS for the few members and their visuals. I can guarantee you that they don't even know how streaming works, but they'll be sure to have an insta name like "mrs.jeon jungkook". If you made it to this part, I don't need to tell you how certain ships inducted their shippers through these very channels, spreading misinfo about the group dynamics and a completely manipulated idea of the boys, as if it's not real life, but some shitty bl drama.

While the company is obviously doing nothing about this mess, it is YOUR duty to focus on what's important as a fan and participate in projects that plan to counteract this mess. ( Of course only if you have time)

So..what does the hickey have to do with all this?

When you finally grow out of your perfect pure breed OT7 agenda, who considers this group of men a picture perfect family who can do no sin, you'll be ready to view the hickey/bite mark as a normal functioning member of the society who's in touch with reality.

Did I just write "pure breed"..

Let's say the hickey/bite does not actually mean anything intimate in a romantic sense. Sure. Even I think it was probably not an exclusively romantic thing. And this is coming from someone who ships them, but I do not see them as 2 people who are dating each other (because I don't claim to know their personal lives).

An older person biting the neck of a younger person long enough to leave a mark is NOT A NORMAL LEVEL of skinship. For friends, for family, for brothers. And this goes for Korea as well as at a global level. Not only k-jikookers but also k-armies had raised eyebrows when that happened. If you didn't raise your eyebrow at this, you need to go out more, have a social life, hang out with long term friends, idk.

But I'm sure if it was a man and a woman, you would have already declared that they are f@cking.

If you have observed jikook through the years, they have had an abnormal level of skinship that even surpasses skinship within their own group. Reminds me of the Butter photoshoot behind, where JK's hands so naturally slid under JM's crop top, like it was a usual thing. Now if one of them reacted differently or in a goofy way, I'd still brush it under the rug. But what had me scratching my head was the indifference. How close do 2 people have to be, for someone to SEARCH for familiar skin to touch?! Let's not forget how JK always touches JM's neck like a habit, massaging, holding, or just caressing, usually a little inside the collar.

Now if they were a man and a woman, you would have already declared that they are f@cking.

If you don't at the very least, acknowledge that it's an abnormally high level of skinship, and that jikook are at the very least, a highly interdependent, symbiotic, close, 2 souls-1 body entity, the closest duo in bangtan..then you are the delulu here. 🫵

I would advice such anons to stop visiting shipping spaces if you are bringing nothing to the table. (As I always say, opposing views are always welcome as long as you bring receipts and not hate). Maybe spend some time talking to real life people, couples, friends, you know?

#jikook #kookmin #fandom culture #bts army #bts #bangtan sonyeondan

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oshinohoshi · 2 months

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What do Ai's words in ch 154 say about her?

I thought I said all I wanted to say about the Hikaru/Ai breakup in this post but I want to comment on something major I glossed over: Ai bringing up Taiki, and therefore Hikaru's sexual assault, before she left.

I've had to mull it over because (without some of the context provided below) it's just so out of character. Ai started her breakup speech with "being with you forever is too much for me," followed that up by stating that Hikaru's child born from molestation was too tough, and ended with "I can't love you." Talk about psychological damage. If I was him, I'd be curled up on the floor sobbing. I'm sure he was.

Just look at the below panel. Fifteen years later, he framed Taiki's birth as something he did. That's devastating.

BUT I'm coming back to critically alter this post (sorry to anyone who liked/reblogged it already) because the lovely @aihoshiino provided some important context about Ai's words being vaguer and less harsh in Japanese. I have pasted this as bullet points at the end of this post and it's far more important than anything I have to say, so if you want to stop here and just read that, I highly encourage it.

To summarize: In English, it sounds more like Ai blamed Hikaru for Taiki, whereas in Japanese it's vaguer and not as cruel. Which isn't to say Ai did nothing wrong when she glibly walked away, but it's far more in line with her character.

But there's still the question of why say this at all. Didn't Ai realize that "I can't love you" was enough? Why bring up the worst thing that ever happened to him, the very thing that broke him so badly she felt he couldn't raise their kids?

She may have wanted him to hate her, thereby setting him free of the supposed burden of herself and her pregnancy. It was also a convenient lie. Unfortunately, it was one Hikaru easily swallowed because that was already how he felt about himself.

She said in the DVD that she thought he'd be OK once she was gone. I do wonder if she really thought that or just hoped so. After all, she later felt that a whopping 15 years later he might still be struggling. Either way, it worked to chase him away.

Did Ai blithely say something hurtful and uncalled for that caused lasting damage? Yes. Was she a teenager who couldn't communicate her emotions, ran away from conflict to protect herself, and had a traumatic childhood that influenced her developmentally? Also yes. Not to mention, she was dealing with an emotionally dependent boy and an unplanned pregnancy. It's not an excuse, but it's an explanation.

Even if we were to ignore the subtleties I mentioned and view this in the worst possible light, saying a horrible thing you don't mean doesn't make you a horrible person.

Hikaru gets Ai's characterization mostly right in the below panel but he's wrong if he thinks Ai's cruel words were an accurate representation of her.

Finally, I think getting hung up on what we, as people who don't have the lived experience of Ai, would do in her shoes is missing the point. The idea isn't to judge Ai as innocent or not innocent. Instead, we are invited to see that Ai was a loving person but she was also human and humans sometimes fuck up badly.

A good chunk of the manga focuses on the complex relationships between characters as well as their relationships with their inner selves. This chapter touches on both. Hikaru misunderstood Ai's intentions and Ai failed to understand her own feelings for him or what to do about it. The reader, meanwhile, if they were clinging to any misconceptions of Ai as some kind of saint, is forced to reconcile with who Ai really was.

The below is the context I mentioned from @aihoshiino. I'm just gonna paste this word for word from Claire:

Ai's words aren't quite as pointedly cruel in Japanese. Her line in Japanese that mangaplus translates as "I can't even, that's too tough, I can't bear it" is '無理無理、流石にそれはキツいって、背負えないよ!` Which is more like, "No way, no way, that's too hard, it's too much to carry"

Importantly, she does not specify who cannot carry this weight

The only time she specifically talks about herself is when she says `子供も･･･うーん私じゃ難しいかな` which mangaplus tled as "about the baby, it's difficult for me too" and ig that's not WRONG but the tone is kind of off. In Japanese there's more of the sense that she's saying that she, herself, is not up to the task, that she's lacking, she wouldn't be able to do it VS the situation (and Kamiki with it) being in of itself the problem

Basically mangaplus's TL is not incorrect in strict text but does kind of mistranslate the spirit of the exchange imo

It makes Ai more pointedly cruel and self-centred whereas the Japanese text imo is more in line with the thoughtless, innocent cruelty she hurt Nino with

The wording of the Japanese text makes it clear that this was a misunderstanding and Kamiki took the worst possible interpretation of it because he hates himself

That's why Aqua frames Kamiki as being punished for "not understanding her"

Because if he really, truly understood Ai like he said, why would he be so comfortable assuming for nearly 20 years that she would have meant something that cruel?

Thanks Claire!! Saving the fandom one translation at a time.

#oshi no ko #ai hoshino #oshi no ko spoilers

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whereserpentswalk · 14 days

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It had been many years since the prince of heaven and the prince of hell had talked to eachother. They had drifted apart long ago, they were husbands once in ancient days, but as time went on they drifted further and further, and now they stand as sworn enemies. But now within their endless feud the prince of hell dared to go into the golden throne room of the prince of heaven. And though the angelic guards thought to protect their prince, the prince of heaven told them to lower their rifles, and let the prince of hell speak.

And the prince of hell made a bet with the prince of heaven. Nobody knows what they were betting with, but whatever it was it was dire, something neither would lose quietly. And the terms of the bet were thus: they would show the soul of a dead both heaven and hell, in all their truth, with no trickery or deception, and let them choose where they would rather go. And whoever's kingdom the mortal chose would win the bet.

So the two princes went to limbo, a neutral place with a grey sky, filled with dead malls and broken down highways. And the land of limbo was filled with countlese souls, those who had not, yet been considered qualified for heaven or hell or nirvana or valhalla, and were stuck waiting for a more permanent afterlife to be selected for them. And the two princes found and average looking soul who died and average death, who had died young but not too young, and lived happily but not that happily. And they told her, that she would be the first soul since humanity crawled down from the trees to get a choice between heaven and hell.

And first they took her to heaven, up in the fluffy clouds below a sky of forever blue, and precession of angels greeted her, all in perfectly tailored uniforms. And she skipped the line at the pearly gates without even having a season pass. And upon the clouds were countless houses, all with their own perfectly trimmed lawns, and all the same perfectly painted colors. And it was bright and the soul knew it would be bright there forever. She walked passed saints and angels all in their button downs and polo shirts, with their pretty little wives at their sides. And they told her there was no crime as there were cops at every street and security cameras at every corner. And there was no want, as long as all their fast food restaurants were open, and big box stores sold goods of all ages. And she stood there, and as she wandered it was more and more the same. And she saw peace, but as that kind of peace loomed more and more it was just quiet, and the holy air conditioners made everything so cold. And she felt alone in heaven.

And then they came down to hell deep in below the below in the pit of ever black, and hoards of devils and unseelie faeries and nameless gods greeted her excited to shake her as she walked into a crowed of terrifying things. And deep in the abyss were apartments and tightly packed row houses whose windows gave the only light, and there were murals and graffiti all around, that scared her at first but seemed so pretty in their own way. And it was dark and the soul knew it would be dark there forever. She walked past the devils and the sinners, all smiling and talking amoung eachother as they walked the narrow streets, all dressed so oddly and so uniquely, as they kissed and laughed amoung themselves. And no soul feared the baton or the tear gas. And no soul feared that they couldn't take the food they needed, from countless unique stores and boutiques. And she walked there, and there were more fascinating details and amazing things, the more she explored. And she saw horrors, but as those kind of horrors loomed more they just were. And it felt warm. And she was not alone in hell.

Nobody knows what she chose. Though heaven can be quiet all it's residents will brag at how safe it is. And though hell is chaotic everyone there says they'd never leave. And nobody knew if the prince of hell's bet was won.

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memoria-99 · 2 months

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Thoughts about Gilbert's route

I was originally writing something about IkePri routes but then Gilbert part became ridiculously long so just decided to make this a single post.

Sooo...

Gilbert's route looks like the whole combination of dark routes I've seen in Ikeseries.

I'll fix this damn world myself no matter what it takes(Vlad) + death wish(Dazai, Charles) + puts a fake smile as a mask(Shakespeare) + is aware of own sin and knows it's unredeemable(Licht) + @

Obviously not a fun route, relatively heavy plots, frankly there were many wtf moments, and I really do think Emma suffered way too much, but it was a good "villain" route. I mean, other villains I know... like Shakespeare and Vlad in IkeVamp who are supposed to be the villains didn't look much like villains tbh, they didn't do real bad things to Mitsuki(well, Shakespeare did tie her up but still). But Gilbert looks like a proper villain to me. He is weirdly obsessed with Emma, tried to corrupt her, threatened her and isolated her. He even nearly killed her. Yeah this is the villain. He had a tragic past and was actually doing stuff for what he believed to be a better world, but that doesn't justify his behaviors anyway.

Emma in this route has real great mentality, very brave and embraces everything(except violence) like a saint. Her love is almost in the level of agape aka god's love.

I also love the ways "sinner" LIs are written in this game, including Gilbert and Licht, and how Emma deals with those. Instead of trying to just reassure it's okay don't let that bother you, she's like "I know what you did cannot be forgiven, nothing can change that, but I'll embrace even that part of you and lead you to step forward"

And this is the best adaptation of "Beauty and the Beast" theme, Chevelier would come second(thought his route was the best in this category before doing Gilbert). A prince who was once a human turned to a beast, this beast has a limited time, a beauty decides to be the "hostage" of the beast herself, she and her love brings him a change.

I've seen some hates of this route, and yeah their relationship is not healthy AT ALL, rather twisted, but I don't think it's particularly bad in this case. I mean, he's the villain indeed, and not all romances should be like the happiest fairytale, right? Moreover, Emma was no shrinking violet. She never gave up on her ideals, didn't hesitate to state her opinion in front of Gilbert's threat, worked as Chevalier's spy, and whenever the relationship with Gilbert turned feeble she was the one took the lead and spoke up, renewing the relationship. And while it's true Emma looked like a victim of his behavior it's also said that she conquered him at last. She won.

"I want to make you a part of my normal life. ... ...and this time, I'm going to drag you into my world. ... So I'd like to start again. Prince Gilbert, will you be my friend?" (Emma)

Up until halfway through I was like hmmmmm, but when the route came to an end I couldn't dislike this bastard.

Nonetheless, irl this kinda guy should be in the list of someone to avoid, but he's more than attractive as a 2d guy.

P.S. Considering his physical state and what happened in this route, does this mean in all the other routes he'll be dead and only the fake would be left???

P.P.S. I like his blue eye, but seeing eyepatch for so long made me think him with both eyes look a bit off. Idk, I prefer the eyepatch version.

... Oh wow this really is ridiculously long.

#cybird ikemen #ikemen prince #ikepri #gilbert von obsidian #route review

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syresdcthings · 4 months

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I think we as a fandom moved past the whole Joker and Superman thing in action comics 1063 too fast. Think about all the possibilities that could've stemmed from that. The angst, Superman knowing he's never gonna meet this man again and struggling to see him as a villain (I always think of Superman as this: When he loves someone, he does whatever he can to defend their actions because to him they are close to saints) and Joker, who remembers none of it and sees Superman as some annoying peat again.

Let me set this out better for you:

Superman and Joker are the only sane people currently on earth. And even then, Superman is barely hanging on. They find solstice in eachother. Joker is trying to enjoy these moments with his new friend where he is fully in control of his mind, and as reluctant as Superman was at the start he too is glad he has someone to talk to...

And do more.

Can you blame him? Bizarro-Louis hates Superman, everytime they see eachother she makes it her life mission to try murder him. And yeah, Clark was kinda happy that she loved him so much her Bizarro version became this... But he also missed his Louis. And well, he hadn't exactly gotten lucky for some time now.

And then there was Joker, who was so helpful and funny and insightful, the one thing keeping his sanity together. Joker had traits that he loved about Louis when she was normal, but with extra... Well, something Superman couldn't name. But it was enticing, and if they had ended a particularly grueling session in his mind earth with a relaxing massage that turned into a passionate entanglement of limbs... Neither were to blame.

It was just to de-stress.

As was the many hours they spent after, repeating the same dance over and over until they eventually had to move their little base of operations elsewhere.

Now after that, Superman was seeing Joker in another light. It was soft, sweet, leaning into domestic. They were speaking things to eachother Superman never would've expected to say to someone besides Louis. And this was the JOKER for godssake. Clark had dealt with him before, he knew just how much of a monster he was... but he couldn't see them as the same person. Because this person wasn't Joker, this person was amazing. He yearned for him, saw his lip biting smile when he shut his eyes. And if Clark woke up everyday and saw Joker laying next to him? He would wake up happy.

Alas, it couldn't be. Because they had finally found the way to defeat Bizarro and set humanity back to normal. And as selfish as it was? Clark was dreading it. But Joker was so gentle with him, telling him he was too important to waste away in this post apocalyptic world. So their last night together was different. Superman clung to Joker harder than he had clung to anyone before, leaving marks all up and down his lean body. They didnt pull away from eachother even once, either hardly breathing. At the end purple bloomed on alabaster skin and wasn't that just the perfect colour for him?

A week later when Superman sees that familiar green hair on the news, he will ignore the pang that comes from his chest.

END OF SCENE

Yeah I want tragic memory loss trope where the other not only forgets everything with the person they built a relationship with but actively gives up their memories to save the world. I don't know where I've seen it before I just vividly remember seeing it alot.

#dc #joker #superman #superman x joker #clark kent #joker x clark kent #clark kent x joker #i dont know how to tag #action comic 1063 #gay people #i loathe...

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thebrickinbrick · 4 months

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The Horizon Which One Beholds From the Summit of a Barricade

The situation of all in that fatal hour and that pitiless place, had as result and culminating point Enjolras’ supreme melancholy.

Enjolras bore within him the plenitude of the revolution; he was incomplete, however, so far as the absolute can be so; he had too much of Saint-Just about him, and not enough of Anacharsis Cloots; still, his mind, in the society of the Friends of the A B C, had ended by undergoing a certain polarization from Combeferre’s ideas; for some time past, he had been gradually emerging from the narrow form of dogma, and had allowed himself to incline to the broadening influence of progress, and he had come to accept, as a definitive and magnificent evolution, the transformation of the great French Republic, into the immense human republic. As far as the immediate means were concerned, a violent situation being given, he wished to be violent; on that point, he never varied; and he remained of that epic and redoubtable school which is summed up in the words: “EightyNinety-three.”

Enjolras was standing erect on the staircase of paving-stones, one elbow resting on the stock of his gun. He was engaged in thought; he quivered, as at the passage of prophetic breaths; places where death is have these effects of tripods. A sort of stifled fire darted from his eyes, which were filled with an inward look. All at once he threw back his head, his blond locks fell back like those of an angel on the sombre quadriga made of stars, they were like the mane of a startled lion in the flaming of an halo, and Enjolras cried:

“Citizens, do you picture the future to yourselves? The streets of cities inundated with light, green branches on the thresholds, nations sisters, men just, old men blessing children, the past loving the present, thinkers entirely at liberty, believers on terms of full equality, for religion heaven, God the direct priest, human conscience become an altar, no more hatreds, the fraternity of the workshop and the school, for sole penalty and recompense fame, work for all, right for all, peace over all, no more bloodshed, no more wars, happy mothers!

To conquer matter is the first step; to realize the ideal is the second. Reflect on what progress has already accomplished. Formerly, the first human races beheld with terror the hydra pass before their eyes, breathing on the waters, the dragon which vomited flame, the griffin who was the monster of the air, and who flew with the wings of an eagle and the talons of a tiger; fearful beasts which were above man. Man, nevertheless, spread his snares, consecrated by intelligence, and finally conquered these monsters. We have vanquished the hydra, and it is called the locomotive; we are on the point of vanquishing the griffin, we already grasp it, and it is called the balloon. On the day when this Promethean task shall be accomplished, and when man shall have definitely harnessed to his will the triple Chimæra of antiquity, the hydra, the dragon and the griffin, he will be the master of water, fire, and of air, and he will be for the rest of animated creation that which the ancient gods formerly were to him. Courage, and onward! Citizens, whither are we going? To science made government, to the force of things become the sole public force, to the natural law, having in itself its sanction and its penalty and promulgating itself by evidence, to a dawn of truth corresponding to a dawn of day. We are advancing to the union of peoples; we are advancing to the unity of man. No more fictions; no more parasites. The real governed by the true, that is the goal.

Civilization will hold its assizes at the summit of Europe, and, later on, at the centre of continents, in a grand parliament of the intelligence. Something similar has already been seen. The amphictyons had two sittings a year, one at Delphos the seat of the gods, the other at Thermopylæ, the place of heroes. Europe will have her amphictyons; the globe will have its amphictyons. France bears this sublime future in her breast. This is the gestation of the nineteenth century. That which Greece sketched out is worthy of being finished by France.

Listen to me, you, Feuilly, valiant artisan, man of the people. I revere you. Yes, you clearly behold the future, yes, you are right. You had neither father nor mother, Feuilly; you adopted humanity for your mother and right for your father. You are about to die, that is to say to triumph, here. Citizens, whatever happens to-day, through our defeat as well as through our victory, it is a revolution that we are about to create. As conflagrations light up a whole city, so revolutions illuminate the whole human race. And what is the revolution that we shall cause? I have just told you, the Revolution of the True.

From a political point of view, there is but a single principle; the sovereignty of man over himself. This sovereignty of myself over myself is called Liberty. Where two or three of these sovereignties are combined, the state begins. But in that association there is no abdication. Each sovereignty concedes a certain quantity of itself, for the purpose of forming the common right. This quantity is the same for all of us. This identity of concession which each makes to all, is called Equality. Common right is nothing else than the protection of all beaming on the right of each. This protection of all over each is called Fraternity. The point of intersection of all these assembled sovereignties is called society. This intersection being a junction, this point is a knot. Hence what is called the social bond. Some say social contract; which is the same thing, the word contract being etymologically formed with the idea of a bond. Let us come to an understanding about equality; for, if liberty is the summit, equality is the base. Equality, citizens, is not wholly a surface vegetation, a society of great blades of grass and tiny oaks; a proximity of jealousies which render each other null and void; legally speaking, it is all aptitudes possessed of the same opportunity; politically, it is all votes possessed of the same weight; religiously, it is all consciences possessed of the same right.

Equality has an organ: gratuitous and obligatory instruction. The right to the alphabet, that is where the beginning must be made. The primary school imposed on all, the secondary school offered to all, that is the law. From an identical school, an identical society will spring. Yes, instruction! light! light! everything comes from light, and to it everything returns. Citizens, the nineteenth century is great, but the twentieth century will be happy.

Then, there will be nothing more like the history of old, we shall no longer, as to-day, have to fear a conquest, an invasion, a usurpation, a rivalry of nations, arms in hand, an interruption of civilization depending on a marriage of kings, on a birth in hereditary tyrannies, a partition of peoples by a congress, a dismemberment because of the failure of a dynasty, a combat of two religions meeting face to face, like two bucks in the dark, on the bridge of the infinite; we shall no longer have to fear famine, farming out, prostitution arising from distress, misery from the failure of work and the scaffold and the sword, and battles and the ruffianism of chance in the forest of events. One might almost say: There will be no more events. We shall be happy. The human race will accomplish its law, as the terrestrial globe accomplishes its law; harmony will be re-established between the soul and the star; the soul will gravitate around the truth, as the planet around the light.

Friends, the present hour in which I am addressing you, is a gloomy hour; but these are terrible purchases of the future. A revolution is a toll. Oh! the human race will be delivered, raised up, consoled! We affirm it on this barrier. Whence should proceed that cry of love, if not from the heights of sacrifice? Oh my brothers, this is the point of junction, of those who think and of those who suffer; this barricade is not made of paving-stones, nor of joists, nor of bits of iron; it is made of two heaps, a heap of ideas, and a heap of woes. Here misery meets the ideal.

The day embraces the night, and says to it: ‘I am about to die, and thou shalt be born again with me.’ From the embrace of all desolations faith leaps forth. Sufferings bring hither their agony and ideas their immortality. This agony and this immortality are about to join and constitute our death. Brothers, he who dies here dies in the radiance of the future, and we are entering a tomb all flooded with the dawn.”

Enjolras paused rather than became silent; his lips continued to move silently, as though he were talking to himself, which caused them all to gaze attentively at him, in the endeavor to hear more. There was no applause; but they whispered together for a long time. Speech being a breath, the rustling of intelligences resembles the rustling of leaves.

#lm 5.1.5 #the brick in brick #barricade day #les miserables #lego

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