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muddyorbsblr · 11 months

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friday nights & hot dates [kinktober 2023: slow & soft]

See the full Kinktober 2023 Collection here! See my full list of works here!

Summary: A few months after he first showed up at your house to keep you company on your birthday, Conrad finally tells you how he feels. | sequel to 'you deserve better'

Pairing: James Conrad x Reader

Word Count: 6.1k [please prepare drinkies & snacks accordingly]

Warnings: 18+ | smut (minors & pearl clutchers, get on outta here i won't ask twice); unprotected p in v sex; language; insecure reader; the smut scene is 1.3k words long idek if i should say sorry for this… [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: simp Conrad; a touch of aftercare in the end 😳🫠

Dick-tionary (aka smut guide): smut starts at "Once he realized what you were about to do" and ends at "We're nowhere near done"

A loud chime boomed across the Monarch training field, announcing the top of the hour. The setting sun only barely blocked by the visor atop former Captain James Conrad's head and doing a piss poor job of straining his eyes as he watched on the first troop of soldiers assigned to the lab.

He'd been tasked to train the few handfuls of privates to be able to face the challenges that Skull Island would have in store for them throughout subsequent missions. They were decent enough, but to handle both navigating the hostile, monstrous terrain and serving as protective detail for the scientists on their tasks to obtain more samples and document its ecosystem, they would need to be exemplary. At the top of their game.

Especially if they are to be protecting Y/N, he thought to himself. Then again, he probably wouldn't let any of them anywhere near you. He would see to your protection personally. Make sure that there was little to no room for error when it came to your safety.

But they all had a long way to go before he decreed any of them ready for the field. And none of them would be closing the gap on their endurance or their agility within the next few minutes. The chime that rung out through the field not only signaled the top of the hour, but the end of your own work day, and he wanted to at least see you off to your ride home. Perhaps walk with you to the pick-up point.

"Alright, that's enough for today," he called out to the privates, everyone standing to attention at his word. "We'll resume on Monday morning. Get adequate rest this weekend."

He took off his training jacket and his visor, haphazardly running his hand through his short cropped hair. While he took a quick inventory of his belongings before heading off to your lab, one of the women privates approached him.

"Do you need anything, Pearson?"

She began to shuffle her stance, somewhat incapable of meeting his gaze as she spoke to him. "The other guys and I were going to check out the new Mexican place that opened up a few blocks from here. I was--I mean we were wondering if you'd like to join us?"

Pearson straightened her stance in a particular manner, jutting her chest out in a blatantly clear attempt to draw his attention to it. You're fresh out of luck, my attentions are for one woman and one woman only. And she's in the lab.

"Thank you for the invite, Pearson, but I have what you and your peers might say a…'hot date' tonight." He fought against the smile playing at the corners of his mouth at the thought of being on a proper date with you.

"Oh." She barely tried to hide the disappointment in her voice. "Okay then. Have a good weekend, Sir."

"Don't look now but he's here again," Brooks muttered from across the lab, the sound of him clacking away on his keyboard taking the briefest pause to tell you that once again, the former SAS tracker James Conrad was right outside the door. "You ever gonna share with the class how you two became a thing? 'Cause we have a bet going on in the lab about who made the first move and--"

"There's nothing to share, Brooks, because we aren't a thing," you cut him off, taking on a snippy tone while you ran the genome of the last flora sample from the set you collected in Skull Island against every recorded organism known to man so far. "We're friends, that's all. Give it time and he'll get tired of slumming it out with me and go back to haunting pool bars and nameless hookups."

"I don't know, Y/L/N…I never had a friend look at me like that."

The results from your test finally came up on the screen, confirming that the flora on the island were all, in fact, undocumented. You took a quick screenshot and placed it into your report. "Looks like we're getting funded," you announced, your half-deadpanned tone met with a mixture of excitement and fear. "Don't everyone stand up at once, I know how pumped we all are to get back to the island of death."

You finally stood up from your desk, looking outside the door and seeing Conrad outside giving you a little smile when your eyes met. You tried to ignore how your heart started doing backflips in your chest at the sight of him, keeping your expression fairly neutral as you gave him a small wave in response. Once your computer had finished shutting down, you grabbed your things and bid everyone goodbye, stopping at Brooks's desk last.

"If what you mean is looking at me like a barnacle he can't scrape off his boat, I hope you never have friends that look at you like that, my guy."

Before you stepped through the door, your fellow scientist let out a final remark. "You know, Y/N, for someone so smart, you're a bit of an idiot sometimes."

"Takes one to know one, Brooks," you shot back, stepping across the threshold and almost immediately becoming face-to-chest with the tracker that towered over you effortlessly. "Hey Conrad," you said slowly, trying your best to keep a hold of your composure. "Did you need something from us? I think I have Bryant running CMP for the guys you're training you should have the results tomo--"

"I didn't come here for the blood tests, Y/L/N," he cut you off, giving you another little smile that had your pulse thumping violently at your throat. "I erm…it's Friday." His eyebrows scrunched together in the slightest wince at his words.

"It is…" you echoed lamely, starting to tap away at your phone to get an Uber home, holding back the urge to sigh in relief seeing that your ride was only a few minutes away. "Have a good weekend, then," you tried to wave him off, pointing vaguely at the pick-up area, starting to awkwardly shuffle away from him.

He reached out and wrapped his hand around yours, stopping you before you got away too far. "Actually, I was thinking…perhaps we could go and grab a bite to eat? There's a new place that opened up just a short walk from here. Maybe we could try it out?"

As if on cue, your stomach let out an audible grumble, rudely reminding you that the last time you ate was this morning before you left your house. Before you could dwell on it any further, you canceled your Uber, giving him a tiny smile of your own. "Lead the way."

Dinner was a rather quiet affair, the two of you starting off by sharing a plate of nachos before you ordered your mains. Sometime before your entrees were served, a small group of people you recognized as the privates being trained as the Monarch Defense Team walked through the doors, the women immediately spotting Conrad and tossing a scornful dismissive look your way.

"What's wrong?"

His voice took your attention away from the group, the motion of him reaching across the table to take your hand in his causing a resounding stomp from across the restaurant followed by a barely contained "What the fuck?!"

"It's uhh…it's nothing," you waved off, trying to slowly pull your hand away so as to not elicit a stronger reaction from the group and grab his attention. "Just…thinking about work. I have to put a recommendation for another mission to the island in my report."

"We'll be better prepared this time," he reassured you, his thumb rubbing across the back of your hand in a soothing motion. "We have a better idea of what we're to face when we get there, and what not to do. And with enough time the troop that I'm training might even be field ready, so you and your team would have better protection."

Your neck twitched at the idea of the woman with the derisive eyes being tasked to protect you. Might even just throw you to the gigantic insects voluntarily. "Right…at least the team will be safe."

"And you, Y/N," he insisted, giving your hand a light squeeze. "I'll see to it myself, I promise you."

You nodded at his words, feeling your face strain at the smile you tried to give him before slipping your hand out of his and standing up. "Ladies room, I'll be back in a few."

While you were in line for the restroom, your thoughts wandered to how you could potentially word your recommendation so that maybe you didn't have to go with the rest of the team back to Skull Island. You weren't physically cut out to be in such a high-stress environment, and frankly you would be more of a liability if people had to look out for you on top of trying to survive a hostile environment.

When your turn came up in the queue, you were stopped in your tracks by someone wrapping their hand around your arm in a claw-like grasp, yanking you slightly backwards. "We need to talk, Y/L/N," a woman seethed.

You swore your blood chilled to near freezing point when you saw the woman private from Conrad's troop, her hateful eyes and vicious sneer too close for comfort.

There was something troubling you, Conrad could tell that much as he watched you in line for the restroom. Much as he usually found it adorable when you were muttering to yourself over your research, he had to fight to resist the urge to stand up and do what he could to somehow put you at ease.

He knew that you weren't all too excited that you had to return to the island, but his gut told him that it was more than just that. You seemed almost fearful when he mentioned the troop that he was training, and not in the way that told him it was simply because you doubted their ability to guarantee your safety.

Did you not realize that he would never even think to put your safety in anyone's hands other than his own? Didn't you know how valuable you were to him? Of course he would keep you safe. He'd put you in the same tent if he could just to make sure you'd never leave his sight.

The sight of a woman marching towards you as if on a war path had him leaving his seat within seconds, immediately recognizing it to be Pearson. When she stopped you from moving and he clocked the vice grip she had on you it had him seeing red. He saw the way you flinched back when she started hissing in your face, her words making every muscle in his body tense and burn with the itch to protect you from someone so obviously spiteful.

"Don't tell me you're the hot date that Captain Conrad turned me down for, this has to be the biggest crock of shit I've ever heard in my life," she spat out. Your face contorted with obvious discomfort from her talon-like hand tightening around your arm, nails undoubtedly digging into your skin.

"Listen, Private Pearson, I think there might just be a misunderstanding," you spoke softly, your tone laced with caution. "He's probably gonna go to said 'hot date' after this, I'm just his friend. We're friends…I think…"

Silly sweet girl, he thought to himself. Are you really so unaware of how I see you?

"Do you really think I'm that stupid, Y/L/N? I don't need to have a PhD in God knows what the ever loving fuck to know that you're into him. The only thing I can't figure out to save my life is what the fuck he sees in a mousey jumpy little thing like you, and where you found the goddamn audacity to steal him away the way you did."

"I'm not trying to steal anyone," you insisted, trying to wrestle your arm out of her hold. "We're just friends, Private Pearson. Anyone with a functioning brain can see that he doesn't want me like that. You want him, he's all yours, you won't hear a peep out of me."

"You better be right," she scoffed, releasing you with a slight shove, causing you to stumble backwards and fight to find your balance for a few seconds before righting yourself on your feet again. "If you know what's good for you, you'll stay the fuck away from him. Preferably before you see what happens when your stupid little face gets me triggered."

Rather than give her a verbal agreement, you simply nodded your head, scurrying off into the restroom, your face looking as if it had been drained of color and your bottom lip quivering with an obvious concern for your own safety.

So this was why you were concerned over your protection detail if you had to return to the island. Of course. Who would ever feel safe if someone assigned to the team that was tasked to protect them behaved the way that Pearson was behaving now? Who was to say that it wasn't beneath her to intentionally endanger you out of sheer spite?

The private let out an arrogant huff, flipping her hair and standing up straight with a smug look on her face before making her way back to her table with the rest of the privates in her troop.

"Pearson," Conrad spoke, letting his irritation over the entire encounter lace his tone. She stopped in her tracks, turning slowly to face him with a touch of fear in her eyes. Good, you should be afraid after the way you just spoke to the woman I love.

"Cap…Captain Conrad, hi!" Her cheeks strained with the smile she tried to keep plastered on her face despite the obvious nervousness that remained in her eyes. "We're so glad you decided to join us after all, we're seated over--"

"You're dismissed. Don't bother coming in on Monday." Her face fell immediately, indignation coloring her expression. "If you cannot treat the people you're expected to defend and protect with professionalism and respect, then you're not fit to stay on this team, let alone be deployed to the island."

"Come on, all this for a shifty little nothing? This is completely unfair!" she scoffed. "You could do so much better than her--"

"Hold your damn tongue, Pearson. I won't have you disrespect her--"

"She can't even hear us!"

"But I can." He began to raise his voice, calling the attention of the other patrons in the restaurant. "That's the woman I love you're talking about. It would be wise for you to choose your next words very carefully."

All the color drained from her face and she stood up straight again, back at full attention. "I apologize, Sir. I'll have my locker cleared before the weekend's over." And then she made her way back to her table, heavy footsteps sounding throughout the whole restaurant.

As Conrad sat back in his seat waiting for you to return, he replayed his own words over and over in his mind. After all this time keeping his emotions bottled in for the sake of preserving what friendship he had with you, the words had finally formed and solidified what had been building ever since the day he met you on the way to that forsaken death island.

He loved you.

By the time you made your way back to your table, you spotted Conrad signing a receipt and placing his credit card back into his wallet.

"You know I keep a tally on how many times you've refused to let me pay, right?" you sighed, taking out your phone and once again trying to book for an Uber home. "I'm perfectly fine with and capable of splitting the bill."

"Next time."

"I also keep a tally on how many times you've said exacty that." You shuffled your feet awkwardly where you stood, avoiding looking at both him and the table that sat his trainees, including the cruel witch that was Private Pearson. "Well uhm…I should get going, it's getting late. Enjoy your weekend, Conrad."

He reached out before you took another step, placing his hand at the curve of your waist. "Walk with me back to the lab and I'll drive you home."

The sound of a fist slamming down on one of the tables made you take a step back from his hold. You didn't have to look to know who it was or what caused the outburst. "I-I really don't wanna be a bother, it's fine. Really. I can take care of myself."

You tried to step forward again, making him stand from his seat, placing a large hand on your shoulder before running down the length of your arm to lace his fingers between yours. "You could never be a bother for me, Y/L/N," he spoke softly, lightly touching your chin with his other hand. "Come on."

For the most part throughout the drive to your place, he was touching you. Whether it be holding your hand between stoplights to make you stop picking at your fingernails, or rubbing circles on your knee to stop you from fidgeting, all the while keeping his other hand steadily on the wheel.

It was hands down one of the most illegally distractingly attractive things you'd ever seen. A sight that you thought was only reserved for leading ladies in those romance books you read, definitely not something you were supposed to experience in your lifetime.

It had you fighting back the urge to pout when you saw your house start to come into view, knowing that in a few short moments it would all be over. He gave your knee a light squeeze once he'd pulled up in front of your hourse, making quick work to make his way around the front of his car to open the door for you and undo your seatbelt.

The combined scent of his woodsy citrusy cologne and something that was just uniquely him seared itself into your brain as his face was mere inches from yours. He made it even worse reaching for your hand to hold you steady while you stepped out of the car.

"Thanks, Conrad," you muttered when you got to your door, your mind spinning from the feel of him running his thumb across your knuckles. "You should uhm…probably get going. Don't wanna keep you from any other plans you might have tonight."

You felt your pulse start beating furiously at your neck when he answered you. "What plans?"

Didn't Pearson have a full blown meltdown over him talking about a hot date and then seeing you with him at dinner? What the fuck was he going on about?

"Come on, Conrad, you don't have to pretend, it's just us here. Pearson practically yanked my spine from my throat earlier at the restaurant harping on about you having plans tonight so really, I'm sure you have better things to do on a Friday night you don't have to feel like you're…I don't know, obligated? To spend time with me. And at least you'll stop looking like you're doing some weird pity charity work, too--"

"Y/N, stop." He took a step toward you, closing the distance and framed your face in his large hands. "The only plans I had for tonight were with you. Do you remember what I told you all those months ago, that first night I came here?" You only stared at him blankly, wordlessly prompting him to answer it himself. "I wanted to let you know that I'm here. For you. And I still am. I always will be."

Before you could respond, he leaned in, pressing a delicate kiss to your lips. Fleeting, but it resumed the near violent fluttering in your stomach from the contact. He gave you no time to react before he pressed his lips to yours again, wrapping his arms around you and cradling your head with his hand before pressing you against the door.

"Look at me, sweetheart," he breathed out when he broke the kiss. Your breath hitched in the back of your throat when you saw how dilated his pupils had become after that kiss. "How is it that you're so observant of everything around you and yet you fail to see what's right in front of you?"

"Conrad what--"

"How could you look at me and not see a man so desperately, so irretrievably in love?"

You swore all the air left your lungs at his words. In love? No. This couldn't be real. This was beyond simply improbable, this was impossible.

There was no way on this Earth that he felt the same.

"I can almost hear the gears in your brilliant mind turning, Y/L/N," he said softly, weaving his fingers into your hair as he proceeded to press tender kisses on your temple and the side of your face. "Invite me inside. Let me take you to your bedroom. Let me show you what you mean to me."

Before you could think about it any longer, you wordlessly slipped your key into his hand, slowly nodding your head. The only response you got from him was him latching his lips onto your neck, groaning into your skin as he lifted you off the ground with one arm, unlocking your door with the other.

He'd carried you all the way upstairs to your bedroom, constantly pressing a kiss wherever his lips could reach. When he started fumbling for the light switch, you tried to hold out your hand to stop him. "No lights," you muttered. If you wanted this to go anywhere even remotely good tonight, that would require him not running for the hills the second he got you naked.

"Without the lights, I can't see you, sweet girl," he said back teasingly, kissing along your jawline until he captured your lips, smiling into the kiss.

"Exactly," you murmured against his lips, causing him to chuckle against your skin.

"Seeing you is the best part of my day," he told you simply, flipping the switch on and bathing your bedroom in a warm white glow. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of the brilliant smile he gave you once he saw your face. "There you are."

He set you down on your feet, touching the top button of your shirt with a question in his eyes, only proceeding to undo the button when you have him a slight nod. Once enough skin was exposed to him, he started to trace a line of kisses across your collarbone, running his hands down your arms to strip the shirt off from you. And then he sent your mind racing as he gave you the same treatment working both your pants and panties down your legs.

"I've dreamed of this since the island," he whispered into your skin, kissing his way back up to your lips as he reached behind you, unclasping your bra. "Lie down on the bed, my love. Let me see you."

He kept your hand in his as you lowered yourself to lie on your back, your heart thundering in your chest and your lip quivering as his eyes hungrily roamed your body. Thoughts began to swim in your head again, of how different, how much less toned nearly all parts of you were compared to him. Compared to the women he'd been with before. You tried to pull your hand away from his, to start to cover yourself.

Once he realized what you were about to do, he moved to hover over you on the bed, placing his hand in the space between your arm and your torso to block your way. "No," he said simply before leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. "Don't hide yourself from me." He kissed his way down your neck to your chest, paying close attention to your breasts, holding you steady as you squirmed under him while he kissed and sucked your nipples into stiff peaks.

"Conrad…" Your voice came out faint, the air too thick to breathe while you drowned in his attentions. His lips moved down your stomach, peppering kisses along your mound before placing his hands on your inner thighs and gently parting your legs, opening yourself more to him.

You clenched around nothing watching him lick his lips before his eyes found yours, desperate whimpers coming out of you when he started kissing along your inner thighs. The ache between your legs started to grow stronger the closer his mouth got to where you craved him.

"Conrad!" Your back arched off the bed when he licked up the length of your slit and pressed a fleeting open-mouthed kiss to your clit.

"Lay back down, sweetheart." Your back immediately met the mattress again at his soft spoken order, your stomach fluttering violently again at the sight of him standing over you and pulling his shirt over his head. "You are the most breathtaking sight," he breathed out. "My love…"

"Could say the same from here," you shot back, still struggling to breathe properly under his gaze. The air was practically stuck in your throat the second his hands went to his pants, taking his time to undo his belt and pants, every muscle on his perfectly sculpted body moving and flexing as if he was trying to seduce you with such a seemingly mundane action.

As if he needed to seduce you.

The sound that came out of you was borderline inhuman the second he pushed his pants down his legs, and you'd gotten a good look at the sheer size of him. There's no way that's gonna fit, you thought nervously. "Conrad, I don't--" You huffed out a deflated sigh. "It's been an embarrassingly long while since I've--"

"It's alright, sweetheart." He quickly made his way back to his position on the bed, pressing a line of kisses along your jaw until he reached your lips, making an almost relieved sound against your lips. "We'll go slow. Please just tell me if I hurt you, that's the last thing I'd ever want."

Your eyes flew open at the feel of his length pressing against your entrance, your walls stretching just shy of the point of discomfort as you accommodated to his size. Any other thoughts and doubts in your mind took a backseat to the sound of Conrad's soft groans as he inched his way into you.

You'd never felt this unbelievably full.

He moaned your name in your ear. "Like you were made for me." He pressed his lips to your temple, the gesture somewhat calming your erratically beating heart. "I'll keep going now."

"Wait Conrad you what--Oh!" You felt a thrill at the back of your head once he pushed even further in, more arousal rushing and slickening your inner walls clenching around him as if pulling him deeper into you. All you could utter over the overwhelming pleasure he was subjecting you to was a faint whimper of his name.

"I love you, Y/N," he sighed in contentment, his warm exhale hitting your already heated skin before he resumed kissing along the side of your face.

"Don't say that," you blurted out. "You don't have to--"

"I want to," he cut you off, moving his head to capture your lips in a heated kiss, his tongue licking at your bottom lip. "I've wanted to tell you for so long please don't tell me to stop. I can't--"

"No one's ever said it. Not to me. I'm not--I've never been--"

Your words stilled him. He rested his forehead on yours, the tip of his nose brushing against your own. "All the more reason for me to tell you." He muffled your moan with a kiss when he inched in even more. "I love you." He kissed up your neck, gently capturing your earlobe between his teeth before kissing the same spot. "I'll say it so often everyone around us will be sick of hearing me say the words."

"Conrad…" you cried out when he finally bottomed out, your hips flush together. "Please--"

"I love you." He started moving his hips in slow grinding circles, repeating the words every time he fully entered you.

The words were lodged stubbornly in the back of your throat; all you could utter was his name while your body trembled trying to raise your hips to meet his thrusts. Meanwhile a vicious voice in the back of your mind questioned if this was even real, refusing to accept any reality where a guy like James Conrad actually genuinely fell in love with you.

You lived by the saying that if something sounded too good to be true, then it probably was. And this…this sounded like a chick lit romance novel where the devastatingly handsome decommissioned soldier fell for the nerdy scientist that most days couldn't even bother to check if her hair looked alright from the back.

This was definitely too good to be true. And all you could do now was allow yourself the fleeting opportunity to lose yourself in the pleasure he was more than capable of and seemed quite willing to give you.

And brace yourself for the moment he pulled away. The moment he finally realized that yes. Yes he could do better, actually.

Before you could dwell on it any further, he pulled you out of your spiraling thoughts when his fingers made contact with the throbbing bundle of nerves above your entrance, rubbing at the spot with the same languid pace of his thrusts.

"You feel divine, my love," he moaned in your ear, pressing his lips to a spot behind it that sent your mind reeling, the tension tightening in your stomach even further. "Come for me, Y/N." He upped his pressure on your clit, still keeping the pace with his slow, deep thrusts.

The coiling tension finally snapped when he started sucking at your skin, your walls convulsing around him while your body shook under him, your hold on his shoulder blade weakening until you finally let go, arm landing on the mattress with a soft thud. He stilled his movement inside you, capturing your lips in a tender kiss while you came down from your high.

"I love you," he kept whispering between kisses. The words had you feeling the traitorous tears prickling in the back of your eyes, every part of you filled with the overpowering urge to say them back. Tell him that you felt the same.

Instead you wanted to slap yourself for the question that slipped from your mouth. "Wait what about you?"

The smirk he gave you in response had thrills shooting throughout your body, feeling the faintest tinge of embarrassment in the back of your mind when you felt your pussy clenching around him at the sight. His mouth stretched into a devilish grin as he thrusted into you in return, his eyes filled with an obvious mix of sexual and romantic intent.

"Don't you worry about me, sweetheart," he rasped, starting to slowly grind his hips again. "We're nowhere near done."

He's not coming back. He left the bedroom and give it time, you're gonna hear him leave the house.

You were being irrational, and most of your mind recognized your thoughts for what they were: absolutely batshit crazy and dead wrong. For one, Conrad left the room without a stick of clothing covering him, telling you he was going to get water. He didn't know how to navigate most of your house so it would reasonably take him a few minutes to actually go get it and come back up.

That didn't stop you from making your way to the head of the bed, and crawling under the covers, drawing your knees to your chest as if you were bracing yourself for emotional impact. You caught a glimpse of your reflection on the full-length mirror, instinctively bringing your hand up to your hair to start working at the knots and tangles that developed over the last few hours.

Conrad came back to the room at that moment, holding a water bottle and two cups, giving you a soft smile as he looked on at all the effects from your lovemaking. "You look like an angel…perched on a cloud." He handed you your cup before pouring one for himself, raising an eyebrow at you when you remained sitting motionless and staring at him blankly. "What is it, sweetheart?"

"I just--I thought you were just gonna get for--"

"Myself?" You nodded at him once he finished for you, making him click his tongue in disappointment, realizing what kind of experiences you'd had before. "You're making it too easy for me to spoil you. I could never be so selfish." He briefly touched his glass to yours, the clinking sound filling the room before you both downed your drinks.

Even while he climbed back onto the bed, situating himself beside you and pulling you into his arms, your irrational thoughts that he'll redress himself in a few minutes time and leave plagued your mind.

"You're looking at me like you expect me to disappear," he murmured, lightly tracing along the lines of your face with his fingertips. "What's wrong, Y/N?"

Come on, you stupid little scaredy cat just tell him. Three words. Three monosyllabic words so simple a kid can say them. Just say it.

"You're still here," you blurted out, immediately wanting to swallow your tongue when his face dropped.

Wrong three words, you fucking idiot.

"Do you want me to leave?" His words came out strained, as if it physically hurt him to say them.

"No, I don't. It's just…I expect it. And if I can be honest I'm still kind of…waiting."

"Waiting for what?"

You pursed your lips, a part of you already feeling silly for the words about to come out your mouth. "Post-coital clarity?"

He let out a slow sigh, his hold tightening around you while he cupped your face with his free hand, stroking along your cheekbone with his thumb. "And what in the world is that?"

"It's this--Honestly it's silly, really--"

"It doesn't seem silly to you." He leaned in to press a soft kiss to your lips, pulling you closer when you melted against him at the gesture. "So it's not silly to me. Tell me what it is."

You took a deep breath, your fingers absentmindedly tracing along the lines on his abdomen while you explained. "It's this phenomena that…once you've slept with someone, the attraction goes away. Your mind's more clear, you're no longer overpowered by this attraction and you realize that the person you just had sex with isn't as appealing as they were before you got together."

It took him a few seconds before he spoke again, maneuvering you so that you were now on top of him, straddling his stomach, his hands skimming up and down your sides.

"Why is it so hard for you to accept that I love you?"

The question seemed so ridiculous to you. "Because nobody ever has. Nobody does--"

"You're wrong," he cut you off, pulling you close until your chests were pressed together. "I know it might not happen often but it's happening now. You're wrong, and I'm living proof of it. Because I'm here. I'm here and I love you. The only clarity that came to me is that I want more than anything for us to become more. For what we shared tonight be more than a one-time thing."

He wrapped his arms tighter around you, pulling you into a tender kiss that had your heart fluttering when he licked into your mouth, his tongue gliding against yours. "I'm no good with words," you said breathlessly when he broke the kiss, his chest heaving against yours. "I've never been able to say how I feel, I can't--"

"Shh it's alright, sweetheart," he breathed, holding you by the back of your neck to rest your forehead against his. "You don't need those fancy words you use in your report. It's just us here. Whatever you wish to tell me, in the plainest words--"

"I love you, too."

A/N: I've finally finished this mega chonker of a piece! And I've given 'you deserve better' Conrad his happy ending with his precious bb 🥹🥹

Next up is the final story in the Kinktober 2023 initial goal: Fingering with President Loki 😳👀 And lemme just tell y'all now…it's gonna be at least 2k words long because I haven't even gotten to the smutting yet 🥴

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @superficialdomina @anukulee @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog

Kinktober taglist: @azula-karai-27

#james conrad x reader #james conrad x female reader #james conrad smut #james conrad x reader smut #james conrad fanfic #james conrad fanfiction #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #muddyorbs writes

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willalove75 · 1 year

Note

Keeley and Rebecca would gossip at lunch about Roy and Reader . Especially after seeing them workout together , reader has tattoos . Maybe they go on a double date or with Jack ? Some banter , teasing . Rebecca KNOWS what gets reader going 😳🔥

Yessss!! Love this request so much! Sorry I took literally FOREVER to get to it💕

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Minors DNI

Tags: flirty, teasing

A/n: Holy shit it's been a MINUTE since I've done a Rebecca fic! I'm going to be trying to do a better job at responding to the Rebecca requests that have been in my inbox for months. I'm so sorry it's taken so long to get through them!

Rebecca and Keeley walk through the halls of AFC Richmond together as they're on their way to lunch. They make their way through the locker room in search of you. Rebecca knocks on Ted's office door and walks in.

"Well howdy boss! Keeley! What are you two rascals up to?"

"Good afternoon Ted." Rebecca says. "Have you seen y/n? I thought she would be in here."

"Ah, I think I saw her and Roy head into the gym a little while ago."

"Of course that's where they are." Keeley says with a playful eyeroll.

The duo head to the gym and lo and behold, there you were. You were doing bench presses and Roy was your spotter.

Rebecca's breath hitches in her chest when she sees you. Her eyes rake over your body, your legs spread on either side of the bench, the little arch in your back, the tight white tank top you had on - you must have pulled your work shirt off. She was practically drooling over the way your muscles flexed when you brought the bar down to your chest and pushed it back up. The tattoos covering your arms were glistening with a thin layer of sweat and it made her heart skip a beat. You didn't even know she was standing there and you were already driving her crazy. It was baffling to Rebecca that someone had such an effect on her.

"Hi babe!" Keeley says as she trots over to Roy and kisses him on the cheek.

As you bring the bar back down to your chest you hear Keeley and look over and see Rebecca practically gawking at you. You flash her a quick smirk before Roy brings you back to reality.

"You're not done yet." He growls. "Four more. For every second you stare at her I'm adding two more."

You quickly refocus and bang out the last four reps before Roy helps you rerack the bar. Using it as leverage, you pull yourself up into a sitting position and look back over at Rebecca who's strutting her way over to you.

"Hey babe." You say.

"Hello my love." She says, leaning down to give you a kiss on the cheek.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"Well we were going to invite you to lunch, but it looks like you're rather preoccupied at the moment." Rebecca says.

You look over at Roy who lets out a low growl letting you know he's not finished kicking your ass yet.

"I'm sorry baby, but it looks like Oscar the Grouch here isn't done torturing me just yet."

"You asked for this." He deadpans.

"It's okay my love, we'll get lunch another time." She says.

"Okay lets go! I'm so hungry I could fuck a horse!" Keeley says.

You, Rebecca, and Roy all look at Keeley.

"Don't you mean 'eat a horse?'" You ask.

"Nope. Bye babe!" She says before kissing Roy and heading towards the door. "Lets go Rebecca!"

You shake your head at her and Rebecca looks down at you. Looking up at her like this does things to you and she knows it. She tries to do it as often as she can and it drives you wild. She bends forward and subtly squeezes her breasts together so you get the best view of her cleavage since you can see right down the front of her shirt. You can feel your cheeks turn red and it's not from working out. Rebecca cups under your chin and pulls you in for a kiss.

When she pulls away and you open your eyes you're met with a beautiful pair of piercing green eyes staring back at you. Your heart stutters in your chest and she gives you a little smirk.

"I'll see you later, love." Is all she says before turning around and walking away. She sways her hips a little as she walks away and you develop an ache between your legs.

After she leaves you drag your hands down your face and groan.

"That woman will be the death of me."

Roy snickers at you and you shoot him a look.

"You chose that punishment. I have no sympathy. Lets go, you have two more sets to finish and then I'm throwing you in the ice tub." You groan in protest. "After that little, whatever the fuck that was, you're gonna need it."

At lunch Rebecca and Keeley are seated at a table and they go over the menu after placing their drink orders. Rebecca is chewing on her bottom lip as she looks over the menu and Keeley giggles at her.

"What?" Rebecca asks.

"You."

"What about me?"

"She really got you flustered by just existing, didn't she?" Rebecca rolls her eyes at Keeley and looks back at the menu. "Oh come on! I saw the way you were looking at her and how you practically eye fucked her in front of the entire team!"

"Keeley Jones! I did no such thing!"

"Oh yes you did and you know it!"

"I wasn't eye fucking her, just, playfully flirting."

"Yeah, okay. Anyway, we should go on a double date, we haven't done that in ages!"

"That sounds like a wonderful idea, Friday night?"

"Perfect."

Friday night rolls around and you and Rebecca and dressed and off to your double date with Roy and Keeley. Her driver drops you off at the restaurant and Keeley and Roy pull up right after you. After exchanging hello's the four of you head inside and are lead to your table. Drinks and orders are placed and the conversation starts to pick up.

"So how do you think the boys are going to do at next weeks match?" Rebecca asks Roy.

"They better kick their fucking asses." He says.

"How's Isaac's injury?" Keeley asks you.

"He should be fine to play next week. Luckily he didn't tear anything in his knee so I worked on him throughout the week to try and strengthen it so he should be good to go." You say.

"Well that's a relief." Rebecca says.

You go to speak but your words die on your lips when you feel a foot drag up your leg. Looking across the table at Rebecca, she's resting her chin in her hand and looking at you as if she's not teasing the shit out of you right now.

"Are you okay, love?" She asks.

"Yup. All good." You say as you take a sip of your drink.

Her foot climbs higher and pushes your legs apart a little and you try to not choke on your drink. Thank god Roy and Keeley started talking about something else so they don't see you struggling.

The waitress comes over with your food and you feel Rebecca's foot pull away and a wave of relief washes over you. The four of you start eating and just as you're about to take a bite her foot begins stroking your leg again. Looking at Rebecca she has a smirk on her face and you watch as she slowly brings her fork to her mouth and wraps her lips around it before pulling it away. You take a sip of water when you feel your face flushing. This woman can breathe in your direction and immediately fluster you.

"So how has working out with Roy been?" Keeley asks you,

"It's been really good, he's been kicking my ass."

"You needed it." He says.

"Okay, listen-"

"That wasn't a question."

"Such a prick." You laugh.

"Why have you been working out so much, love?" Rebecca asks.

"I don't know, I like it. Especially since I have full access to a gym at work I mean, why not?"

"You have certainly gotten stronger over the last few weeks." She says as she reaches across the table and squeezes your bicep. She's subtle about it but you can feel her drag her nails across your skin as she pulls away.

"Thanks." You sputter and try to cover it with a sip of your drink.

Throughout dinner Rebecca keeps catching your eye, maintaining eye contact when she takes a bite of her food, watching you squirm when her foot grazes the inside of your thigh. She drives you crazy the entire night.

The waitress brings out dessert and Rebecca maintains eye contact with you once more as she takes a scoop of her dessert and eats it.

"Here." She says. "Try it."

Rebecca picks up a spoonful and reaches across the table and feeds you. She slips the spoon between your lips painfully slow and pulls it out at the same pace, not once breaking eye contact. You let out a small moan and try to play it off as if you're moaning about the dessert. Keeley and Roy don't seem to notice but Rebecca's eyes flash with lust for a moment.

She reaches across the table again and drags her thumb across your bottom lip, wiping away some of the dessert left behind.

By the end of the night you're squirming, the heat between your legs is damn near unbearable and she knows it.

You say your goodbyes to Keeley and Roy and climb into the car. Rebecca pushes the button to pull up the privacy divider between the front and back seats of the car and looks at you with lust in her eyes. You try and make a move but she stops you pinning you back against the seat. A pathetic moan leaves your lips and she smirks.

"What's the matter, love?" She says as her lips ghost the shell of your ear.

"Rebecca." You pant.

"Yes love?" She asks before placing soft, open mouthed kisses on your neck. "What's the matter? Got you all worked up?"

"Yes." You groan.

"So easy to fluster."

"Please."

Rebecca cups your core and presses her fingers against your soaked panties.

"All this for me?" You nod your head.

She pulls her hand away and you whine.

"Don't worry my love, when we get home I'll have you whining for all of the best reasons."

#willalove75 #hannah waddingham #rebecca welton #rebecca welton x reader #wlw fanfic #rebecca welton fanfic #ted lasso fic #ted lasso

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superblysubpar · 7 months

Text

We'll Call It Love masterlist | It Had To Be You masterlist

the song: Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer // It Had To Be You playlist

warnings: this story is a part of the series We’ll Call It Love, and much of it would be spoiled if you read this first. It’s linked above, and I hope you love it! | series warnings pertain | Steve's parents are DICKS | A little foreplay action, but no real smut warnings aside from a small ass slap - oh and a there if you squint breeding kink hint for one sir steve harrington

2.7k words

A/N: I've hoped you've liked the first two little stories before this and maybe you're catching on to the theme now? There's two more after this one, and I hope they wrap up things for this little world nicely for you. This one in particular, is what started the whole idea of this collection of stories randomly? Don't tell the others, it might be my favorite. There was a very real incident with myself and green paint and my husband finding me in the state similar to reader 😳, I have @loveshotzz and @sweetsweetjellybean to love always and thank for convincing me to make it into a little fic, which obviously turned into more 💛

He sees the familiar girl sitting alone at the bar, and he weaves his way around dimly lit tables and people dressed as fancy, if not more so, than he is. He slides onto the stool next to her, resisting the urge to run his hand through his gelled hair.

“Hey, I’m so sorry I’m late.”

Leigh waves off his apology with her perfectly manicured hand as she takes a sip of the martini in front of her. Rolling her eyes big with a smile around the rim.

Steve raises two fingers to get the bartender’s attention from the end of the rich wood counter as she swallows.

“I just figured you decided to not go through with it, was gonna give you another half hour before I called your dad to tattle on you.”

Steve’s stomach tenses, knuckles tapping the counter as he grimaces.

Leigh’s hand rubs his shoulder, speaking softly, “Hey I was just kidding. What’s going on in that big, Harrington brain, huh?”

The bartender lays a cocktail napkin in front of Steve, nodding as he orders, raising three fingers, “Macallan.” Before he turns to look at her.

Kind eyes and an understanding smile he blows out his breath and quietly asks, “You really want to do this?”

Leigh shrugs, her hand slipping from his shoulder to grab the martini again, taking another large gulp.

“I’m still down if you are?”

Steve nods, fingers swiping down the glass that’s set in front of him as he stares into the amber liquid and thinks about you.

“You sure? Last time I saw you at that benefit thing, you talked about moving to Northern California and working for that environmental law firm. You just…don’t seem like the kind of girl that wants to work for her dad forever and do…this?”

He sort of gestures pathetically to himself which Leigh snorts at, pressing her palms to flushed cheeks.

Steve closes his eyes, shaking his head, “I didn’t mean, I mean I know you, we did, like five years ago, but that-”

“Steve,” Leigh interrupts, laughing.

“Sorry.” He rubs at his eyes, fingers freezing when she sighs.

“So, who is she?”

Steve opens his eyes to see Leigh’s all knowing gaze and smirk and he folds almost instantly telling her your name.

“We sort of had…a date? Last weekend? Except it wasn’t a date,” he sips on his drink, finishing the story of the two of you with the most recent events while Leigh sits and listens patiently.

He shakes his head as something in his stomach sinks at the same time his heart starts beating harder when he thinks about last weekend.

“Because, we don’t date, or she doesn't want to date, and then we had sex, and like, good sex. I’ve never had that kind of sex, sex…like emotional? But I don’t think…I can’t wait for her to…choose me? Because what if she never does, right? Isn’t that the cardinal rule of dating? Don’t think you can change someone?”

He hates how much he’s talking, how much of his guts he’s literally just spilling all over the place, but he’s needed to talk about it for a long time, and he certainly can’t tell Robin.

Leigh sips her martini thoughtfully before she asks, “Does she know about this?” She gestures between the two of them.

Steve shakes his head, swallowing before he quietly admits, “Nobody does, well, no, I told Robin I was dating you. Because she kept pestering me about what was going on and I…”

He trails off, at a loss for words as Leigh hums.

“Well, that’s problem number one right there buddy. It sounds like you’re asking her to open up and you’re keeping some things heavily guarded too.”

Leigh glances at her watch and hops off the stool, smiling, “I have that dinner with a client. And I think you have a lot of thinking to do tonight Steve Harrington. I’ll see you tomorrow, whatever you decide.”

She kisses his cheek and Steve turns towards his glass, downing the last of it as he pulls out his phone and opens your contact.

Steve: Hey could we talk tonight? We could go out? Or I could come over? You: I’m sorry, I really want to but I’m sick.

He stares down at the text back from you the whole ride up the elevator and down his hallway. Are you actually sick? Or are you avoiding him because last weekend scared you?

His key turns in the lock too easily and he closes his eyes as he pushes open his already unlocked front door, taking a deep breath before he steps inside.

John Harrington frowns at the bottle of Scotch in his hands, eyes narrowed at the bar in his son’s apartment.

“Is this all you have?”

“Hey dad, long time no see. I’m doing great, thanks for asking.”

His father rolls his eyes in an eerily familiar way and Steve turns to the cabinet above his fridge, and pulls down the bottle for his father.

“Happy Birthday,” Steve grumbles.

John eagerly takes it, “Ah! Yes.”

Thank you son, you’re the greatest. No problem dad, glad you like it.

His dad finally looks at him and frowns. “Is that what you wore for your drinks with Leigh?”

Steve looks down at his custom made and fitted three piece suit, tie, Italian loafers, leather belt, and cufflinks and a watch that all cost more than his college tuition.

“I-”

“Your mom is hanging up the suit for tomorrow in your closet, why don’t you go let her pick out a better tie for din-”

Steve’s already power walking past his dad, hurriedly trying to make sure his mother is not in his closet, but it’s too late.

The sliding door gives him an easy view of his mom, who’s holding the picture nobody really knows about. Steve looks over his shoulder and thankfully his father has sat himself down on the couch, turning on the news.

Steve carefully and quietly closes the closet door behind him, whispering, “Mom, I can explain-”

“You went to college?” Her voice is hoarse as her fingers trail over the tassel and degree.

He swallows, fingers curled into fists at his sides as he lets out a shaky breath.

“Yeah. I did.”

Vivian Harrington nods, and when she looks up at her son, he feels like she’s sort of seeing him for the first time in his life.

Her eyes that match his are glassy, and her head tilts as if she’s taking in his features like she doesn’t really know him at all. Maybe she doesn’t. But it’s that look that gives him the courage to keep going.

“Can I have a rain check on dinner? There’s somewhere I need to be tonight. Someone I need to see.”

Maybe his mom sees something in his eyes, or hears it in his tone, but the way her eyes travel over his face, searching, it’s easy to see when understanding falls across her features.

“Sure, honey.” She puts the picture back down with a sad smile, her voice hesitant but forceful at the same time as she asks, “But we’ll see you tomorrow? For the brunch?”

He knows she’s not really asking and he nods.

“Yeah, of course.”

So when it’s her name flashing across his phone when you wake him up, the guilt washes over him. He doesn’t know what to do.

He locks his phone and closes his eyes, thinking about everything you told him last night.

Thinking about how you said that nobody could have a love like them. That it’s a love story you witness once. How since then, you haven’t believed in it or even tried to.

“I’m sorry, I gotta go, my parents are here and…” he sighs, touching his forehead to yours, willing you to just tell him right now. Willing himself to just take the leap. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Your fingers circle around his wrist as you whisper sleepily to him.

He could spend his whole life waiting for you to never change your mind.

Never really getting every part of you. Not the way he wants.

As much as it hurts, as much it will keep hurting for a long time, he wants all of you, or nothing at all.

Steve looks at your lips before he kisses them, trying to memorize how soft they are against his own. How it just seems to work.

“I’m sorry. I’ll…I’ll see you at the game later. I…”

He groans as his phone buzzes in his pocket and he kisses you so quickly, too quickly, and then he’s gone. And he’s worried he’s never going to get to kiss you again.

Steve answers the phone as he shuts your front door. “I’m sorry, I’ll be there in-”

“Did you get it out of your system?”

Steve stops in the hallway, gulping, “What?”

“Did you get it out of your system?”

He bangs his forehead against the wall, fingers clenching around the vest and jacket he holds. Steve’s jaw is tense, stomach tight as he blinks away the damp feeling pooling in his eyes.

“I don’t know.”

“Steven-”

“I’ll see you soon.”

He hangs up and walks to the stairwell.

What the fuck is he supposed to do?

“Jesus fucking christ!”

Your hand is over your heart, a brush dropped in the bucket of paint, and your boyfriend smiles from the other side of the makeshift dog gate.

“Don’t do that!” You squeal, only half mad he almost scared you to literal death standing in the doorway all ominous, but overall you’re ecstatic to see him, your heart racing faster than it should for both reasons. You turn down the music you were blaring and singing along to loudly so he can hear you. “What are you doing here? You weren’t supposed to be home till Monday!”

Steve’s looking at you from the other side of the gate with this intense look that makes an entire box of bouncy balls dump out inside of your stomach.

“What?” You ask nervously, looking around the room that’s half painted and back at him as you take a few steps towards the doorway.

He seems to visibly shake a thought from his brain, his cheeks turning pink as he clears his throat.

“Nothing, I, uh, like the color.”

Your body fills with heat as you take a few steps closer to him, both of you staring up and down each other’s bodies a little hungry, a little impatiently.

“Yeah?” You’d be embarrassed by how soft and girly your question comes out except Steve is clearly thinking and feeling things, his fingers curling around the doorframe a little tighter with each step you take, which only spurs you on to tack on, “I know you said the office could be whatever color, and when I was standing in front of the paint samples, this one spoke to me. Made me think about a shirt this guy I really like wears.”

“Oh?” He asks, fingers reaching forward so his thumb can brush across your cheek. It feels a little rough and you’re certain he’s tracing over paint you somehow managed to get on your face.

You hum, stomach warm from the feeling of his skin touching yours after so long apart. Your eyes greedily take in the scruff on his jaw that he’s let grow and the deeper tan his skin has. The numerous new freckles you swear he didn’t have when he left. Your mouth waters a little bit as your eyes wander to his covered up arms and shoulders, impatient to find out how many more there are.

“It’s kind of like the olives he hates on his pizza too.”

Steve’s fingers roam down your neck, thumb dragging on the chain hidden under his white shirt.

“Sounds like a smart guy for hating those disgusting things,” he softly banters.

“Mm, debatable. It’s also kind of like the green in his eyes.”

Your body leans over the gate, closer to him, fingers reaching for the collar of his shirt till your noses bump each other’s. It’s hard to breathe, when all you can smell is cedar and mint and practically taste the coffee on his lips he must have been drinking to stay awake.

“Well, he sounds like quite a guy, to inspire a whole room’s paint color.” Steve speaks slowly, one hand around the back of your neck, the other dragging down the curves of your side as you both breathe sharply, the small space between your mouths electric.

“He’s okay,” you offer with a shrug.

“I like the overalls,” Steve ignores you, nose running down the bridge of yours as he nudges closer.

“Thanks, they were my mom’s when she was pregnant with me.”

Steve’s eyes flash from that comment, his adams apple bobbing in a loud and harsh swallow.

“Oh?”

You giggle, your top lip hitting his in a brief pass and it’s intoxicating.

“Easy tiger. Not in the cards just yet.”

“But it is, someday?” He squeezes at your waist, bottom lip just barely bumping between yours, his head tilting just barely to get a better angle.

“Sure. Play those cards right and when the time comes…”

Steve’s lips slot over yours, his hands pull at the back of your neck and waist until you’re both pressed up against the gate.

His tongue swipes over your bottom lip lightly, teasing, as his fingers brush down your jaw and he breaks away from you, breathing heavily.

“I missed you so much.”

“You’re never leaving for that long again.”

You both laugh into another kiss as you speak at the same time. Refusing to part your mouths as you try to climb over the gate causing it and both of you to clatter to the ground. Inigo comes racing from the bedroom where he was sleeping.

He runs at Steve, panting happily and jumping onto his chest from your tangled pile on the ground.

“Hey buddy, I missed you too,” Steve laughs, squeezing his eyes closed and trying to dodge the lab’s tongue.

“Dude, he is my boyfriend. Also you’re such a traitor, you never greet me like this.”

“Are you talking to me or the dog?” Steve laughs as Inigo wiggles and yips on his stomach when you push yourself up to standing.

“Where are you going?” He calls after you.

“To get the peanut butter kong so he’ll be busy for hou-Steve!”

He’s snaked his arms around you, pulling your back to his chest forcefully. His mouth attacks your neck and cheeks and jaw from behind. Hot and wet open mouthed kisses you giggle at which only makes him do it more.

Steve squeezes his arms around you, holding your ass tighter against his clearly worked up lower half as you stumble towards the freezer with him behind you still. Inigo makes it all the more difficult as he races around your legs.

“Steve, babe…” you moan as his mouth slows down, warm lips pressing right behind your ear as his fingers work on the buckles of the overalls.

He hums, pushing you up against the counter next to the fridge a little rough, a little dirty with the way his mouth and teeth and tongue are working on your neck. Your fingers slip on the counter, searching for purchase. “I love you, so much, really-fuck.”

Inigo barks at the base of the freezer, reminding you of why you’re telling Steve to stop.

“I love you too, why do I feel like there’s a but coming though?” He pulls at the overalls, until they’re dropping at your ankles leaving you in his white shirt and black panties that he groans at, slapping at your ass and grabbing at each cheek with both hands as his nose drags down the back of your neck.

“You gotta go wash your face and hands before we keep going, you smell like Inigo’s breath and your fingers cannot be inside of me after-”

“I hate this dog!” He proclaims, stomping down the hallway, grumbling a shouted, “He seems a decent fellow, I hate to kill him!”

Inigo cocks his head adorably at you, tail thumping against the tile. You pull out the red overstuffed with peanut butter kong and give it to him, patting his head as you whisper. “That does seem to put a damper on your relationship, but don’t worry buddy, he loves you.”

And you race down the hallway towards Steve in your bathroom shouting, “How dare you threaten my dog Harrington. Prepare to die!”

#we'll call it love #it had to be you #steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #modern!steve harrington #steve harrington fic #steve harrington series #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington smut #steve harrington angst

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solar-wing · 1 year

Text

⚣ BatBro Incorrect Quotes: Spongebob 🧽

⚣🧽 A/N → Here we continue our saga with BatBro and his family of incorrectness. Enjoy! and be wary of flying ice cream trucks.

⚣🧽 Summary → BatBro discovers his father and siblings extracurricular activities. As you can imagine, chaos ensues.

⚣ ENJOY 🧽

*ranting to Alfred unaware about his family's alter-egos*

BatBro (Y/N): Dressing up in costumes to risk your lives all night, what a stupid idea! Who wants to get shot at at three in the morning?!

*randomly hears an alarm*

Tim: *from upstairs* Oh boy, 3am!

*BatBro meeting Batman's sidekicks*

BatBro: Who are you?

Dick: Why, I'm Robin. *Jason and Tim appear behind Dick smiling*

BatBro: *eye squint* What kind of fool do you take me for?

BatBro: He's Robin (points at Jason)?

BatBro: He's Robin (Points at Tim)?

BatBro: You're Robin (Points at Dick)?!

BatBro: I'M ROBIN! Are there any other Robins I should know about? *tapping foot*

Damian: *Dressed as Robin* Hello.

BatBro: I'm outta here.

*BatBro trying to convince Jason to not kill anymore*

BatBro: No Jason, I meant...good for your soul.

*halo, angelic singing, heavenly light*

Jason: Oh PUHlease, I have no soul.

*hellish background, evil cackling*

Jason: 😳

Bruce: It's so simple, only ten words! What I learned about fighting criminals is... BLANKITY (WE) BLANKITY (DON'T) BLANK (KILL)!

*BatBro training as a new vigilante after he confronted Bruce about Tim's timely alarm*

Bruce: Well, now that we got you warmed up, it's time for the arm cruncher...

BatBro: Arm cruncher...great.

*Sees Damian coming towards him*

BatBro: This man's trying to kill me...

Bruce: This is it... *looks to see he's suddenly holding a phone*

BatBro: Hey, that's great dad! Oh, I sure had fun, we'll have to do it again sometime, bye. *hangs up*

*Watches Jason lose another sparring session to Dick*

BatBro: Wa Wa Waaaaaaa...

Jason: WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?!

*pissed he wasn't included after discovering his family's alter-egos*

BatBro: Oh, you poor poor thing. By the way, you forgot your BRIEFCASE! *pulls out a bin of Bruce's bat weapons and tools*

*drops on floor*

Bruce: Oh...so this is the thanks I get for working overtime protecting you?

BatBro: *seething* OVERTIME!

*BatBro and Jason trying to crack open Bruce's lockbox*

BatBro: Nothing's working!

Jason: Wait, Y/N! We're not cavemen. We have technology.

*repeatedly smashes computer against lockbox*

BatBro: It didn't work.

*BatBro falling*

Tim: Y/N! Land on your bottom. It'll cushion the fall!

BatBro: *turns over* Like this?!

Jason: No! Your other bottom!

Tim: Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?

Jason: Not until 4.

*BatBro done with Damian's shit*

BatBro: Uh huh. You know, that reminds me. There's been something I've been wanting to say to you since the day we met...goodbye. *turns and walks away*

*angry Damian tackles his brother to the floor*

BONUS:

☀️️ | Bat Family | ☀️

☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️

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harus-simp · 1 year

Text

When you call them couple nicknames in their native language

Zhang Hao, Ricky, Brian and Ollie

Warning: none, just really cute moments (in the Ollie one the reader will have their same age or maximum will be one year older)

Author's note: I got this idea thanks to the wonderful haobin video (you all know which). So I searched like different nicknames to call your partner in China so we'll just roll with that :))

If it's not accurate enough please tell me so I can change it :)

°□°□°□°□°□°□°□°□°□°□°□°□°□°□°□°□

Given their hard work and the sacrifice on coming to a whole different country from theirs and learning a different language, you decide to surprise them by calling them with couple nicknames in their native tongue (well, maybe someone had the idea and helped you)

Zhang Hao

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

You were texting each other as he was on the planet camp and you were back home doing your own thing

You were congratulating him on his advances on the programme and how he was killing everything he did

Before telling each other goodbye you wrote him a short sweet message that he wasn't expecting at all

-Bye bye 宝贝 (Bǎo bèi)

He literally was speechless and blushing all shy, like 😳😳😳

He smiled like a little kid would

-How do you know that?

He asked it although he didn't need the answer at the moment, he felt so happy that you told him something in his native tongue

He felt butterflies, no fireworks exploding on his tummy

-Did I say it wrong? :((

-No no, you just surprised me, I love you so much <3

Yeah you definitely have this man whipped for you 😩🤌

Ricky

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡

You were cuddling peacefully on your sofa while watching a little bit of Netflix

You both enjoyed your quality time in silence with Ricky's arms being wrapped around your frame and your head resting on his chest

He suddenly got up to go to the grocery store because you were missing something to have as a snack

Before leaving you called him quietly

"亲爱的 (Qīn’ài de), would you get me (whatever you prefer) please?"

He smirked slightly, nodding at you

"Sure princess" 😉

All his journey and the way back he kept thinking of the sweet nickname you used,filling him up with pride and appreciation for you

When he got back he brought what he had bought to the living room and just collapsed on top of you, trapping you in his arms

You giggled trying to pray him off of you without any succes

"Ricky stop please"

"What's the magic word?"

Realising of his previous smile you figured it out

"亲爱的(Qīn’ài de)?"

He moved satisfied to one side but hugged you tighter than before

"I thought that didn't have any effect on you?"you teased him

"Oh, you have plenty of effect in me, believe me"

He's just a flirt, what can I say?😛✌️

Brian

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

You were hanging out that day having a nice and relaxing date by the Han River

It was spring, so you were having a walk by the beautiful trees, specially cherry blossoms

When you both eventually got tired you just layed on the grass next to each other enjoying the good weather

You then got closer to him and looking at him you told him

"I love moments like this 亲亲(Qīn qīn)"

Right after you said that you returned to your previous position

He looked at you surprised and a shy smiled appeared on his face immediately 😄

He started giggling like a little kid almost kicking his feet from excitement

You looked at him amused, seeing he was laughing.

"What's so funny?"you looked at him confused

"Nothing, it's just you are so cute" he said pinching your cheeks

Despite his calm and composed nature, you saw a totally new side to him.

But you weren't complaining

And he was living his best moment 😌

Ollie

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡

He is the one behind all his friends s/o calling them cute couple names

Literally so playful and childish we love it

One day after school he was going back home with his friend, aka his crush

They were just talking about school and how their day went

He also told you about the little plan he carried out

You were listening carefully, already aware of the situation because let's say Ricky already had in mind that it was all their maknae's idea, knowing his teasing nature, and told you everything

So you asked him in advance a nickname to call Ollie and make him taste his own medicine

However you warned him not to be anything too loving or more personal because he was still a baby at the end of the day

And you kinda found him cute (liked him back)

Well Ricky ignored you completely anyways lol

So when you both reached your house, where you both parted ways, you said to him calmly

"Well see you tomorrow, 亲(Qīn)" you told him as you gave him a little peck on his cheek and bupped his nose, and entered your house grinning from ear to ear 😁

He stood there in utter shock and feeling how his ears started to heat up, as well as his cheeks.

He suddenly realised the whole situation and smiled cutely

He could have a chance with you!

Maybe teasing the others was useful after all

He turned around and started giving little jumps of happiness going to his destination

Well you were watching him the whole time through your window, and his reaction made you giddy and excited for the future ahead of you both 🤭🤭🤭

°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°

宝贝 – Bǎo bèi = literally means treasure or precious thing but the English equivalent would be baby or sweetie

亲爱的 – Qīn’ài de = it's used like in English, meaning darling or dearest, regardless of gender

亲亲 – Qīn qīn = variation of the previous one, it means dear one

亲 – Qīn = also a variation of 亲爱的(Qīn’ài de) but has a slang context to it, the closest equivalent would be bae or boo

#boys planet #boys planet drabbles #boys planet fanfics #boys planet headcanons #boys planet reactions #boys planet x reader #yuehua #g group #zhang hao #shen quanrui #shen ricky #brian #ollie #charisma boss baby ricky #jjang hao #ollie wonka #kpop

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doriana-gray-games · 1 year

Text

Progress for April ✨

I sent a game version to the beta team this month! 🥳

... Tho, I think it's gonna be a little while still until yall see it. This part of the year is usually a lot of school stuff, which stays hectic until the very start of June. And I still have things to add/fix for chapter 4—quite a lot—and some changes that need to be made. (I'm trying to find a better balance with this chapter being partly slice of life-y and introducing two new characters without being much too slow in pace. Feel a little stumped, but I'm gonna talk it through with my alpha reader, who's the best, and we'll figure something out ☺️).

But anyway, we're moving forward! ❤️

PS. I'm also maybe working on a little thing to add to the Patreon once I launch that... 😳 it may or may not be sexy.

#progress update #patreon

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meiloorunsmoothie · 4 months

Text

finding neverland, a review of sorts

hello! this is a sort of an after the fact "live blogging" (except all in one post 💀) of my thoughts as i was watching finding neverland (a.r.t. version). i basically just wrote whatever i was thinking down as i was watching, so this is truly very raw (obviously, i've gone in and cleaned some things up + added gifs to help those who read it (and myself if i come back to this post) figure out what on earth i'm blabbing about).

...read at your own risk! (also, in case it wasn't obvious, spoilers ahead)

act 1

THE SCOTTISH ACCENT

when he sings with it too 😭

i was not expecting this to be as funny as it is for some reason

"i don't know why you talk to that dog like he's a person" XD

"and what precisely is this poor wretch's crime?" "he's my younger brother" - yep, checks out

i'm 13 minutes in and i love it already

can we talk about how thayne jasperson as porthos weirdly works

okay wait, but is jeremy actually kind of doing choreography...?

OKAY BUT THIS RIVER SCENE IS SO CUTE

also when he randomly loses the accent

laura michelle kelly is amazing

uh she just coughed. i'm scared and paranoid...maybe laura actually just needed to cough, but i'm going to keep this here in case it is something... (EDIT: IT WAS AND I WILL NEVER RECOVER)

i'm obsessed with this (retroactively, why doesn't it show up again 😭)

"nice try, but no." jack is me.

this is me every day and it's a problem ⬇️

THIS IS SO FUN HOW HAVE I NOT WATCHED THIS SOONER

"perhaps having fun is more important than everything being perfect" - yes!

okay but the ex-ballerina in me is going crazy for the maid choreography

okay sobbing cause "neverland" just happened—it's weird that i've never listened to him sing this before and i'm unsure whether i should just pause now to recover or rewind and watch it again (edit: i did both)

"well at this rate, we'll also have to imagine that there's an audience" - THEM LOOKING AT THE AUDIENCE AFTER THAT IS ABSOLUTELY GENIUS

sylvia's dress is so pretty lol

...this is interesting choreo

but i love the door merry go round

okay i've seen "hook" and "stronger" before, but this is so much better with context

maybe my boot is just really bad (it is) but did he just pull a stick out of his pant pocket

i can't i have no words

act 2

i would very much like to see what's happening on the other side of the curtain

PRINCESS DIGGORY

SHE'S COUGHING AGAIN

this bar scene reminds me of lotr for some reason but i like it, it's very fun

WHAT YOU MEAN TO ME my beloved

the singing while lying down 😳

i am unwell

oh a kid song, let's go - okay but actually, i love this number

HELP THIS WAS LITERALLY ME AND MY SIBLINGS okay how much will i have to pay them to watch this

NOOOOO WHY

WHY

i'm so upset i can't even bring myself to put a gif here, but we all know what scene.

aiden gemme is doing a great job as peter.

OK BUT THIS DUET

SOBBING

why is there upbeat music do you not know what just happened.

i love it when the audience is part of the show

this whole scene MY HEART I CANNOT

this is so chaotic but i love it it's perfect

CHILLS

i. love. laura. michelle. kelly.

that was beautiful even though it was sad

"mary, you're outside!" akdfasdhflashdfas

i can't (how many times have i said that). this is such a perfect ending

la fin

(until my next rewatch which could be right now)

#aka watch me slowly lose it: complete with gifs!#welcome to the circus of my mind #i can literally see myself turn from skeptic (it's my base function) into adoring fan as i reread this #phew this took longer than anticipated #probably cause i kept trying to add gifs to every comment XD #oh gosh what have i unleashed upon the world #have i mentioned i love laura michelle kelly #i love jeremy too don't worry i actually think this is one of my favorites of his roles #I LOVE THIS SHOW #finding neverland #a.r.t. version #i found neverland #jeremy jordan #laura michelle kelly

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wikiangela · 3 months

Text

the boys 4x03 thoughts

so the Seven are just the four now lmao or I guess the six now but we'll see how long those two will last 🤣

Butcher working with JDM! 😍😍

firecracker needs to stfu 🙄

I love Sage's attitude and her dynamic with homelander, it's just so interesting

frenchie won't tell colin now is he 😫 that'd be too quick and and too easy, i bet this is eating at him like the guilt for mallory's grandkids smh wtf frenchie 😫

now firecracker's braindead followers are walking into starlight house jfc 😭

Frenchie likes colin sooo much and its clearly tearing him apart and its so sad 😭😭

oooh Victoria's gonna figure out Singer knows so quickly 🤣 and he wants to ban supes from every position but entertainment? lets see how homelander and vought likes that lol

btw Claudia Doumit is soooo gorgeous 😍😍😍

"I'm going to kill them all" she signed with the most adorable smile ever 🤣🤣🤣 she's the cutest, even when she's murderous lol

kimiko and frenchie are really the definition of ride or dies 💪❤️

flip A-Train? I like the idea but also he might flip back within a second so that's risky lol

Butcher contacting ryan through video games lol love it - also wow that game is violent

what does Noir's replacement not get about 'don't talk' jfc dude, watch anything with real Noir in it (they have plenty of movies) and study his behavior and do.not.talk. where did ashley find this guy jfc 🤣🤣

lmao Ashley got demoted from CEO to mascot, how sad 🤣

Butcher baked cookies and bought all those games aww - even if he dosed those cookies whatever lol

if anyone can concknve A-Train its MM fr, and if he does, i love it and cant wait to see where it goes - I just hope it actually sticks this time lol

high frenchie started so funny and now it's just so sad 😭😭

oooh who's the girl?? was she another one of the kids like kimiko??

"I wouldn't want me either" nooo why am i crying jfc, this poor kid 😭 homelander just showed up and screwed up his whole life 😭

Ryan just wants to be with Butcher but he thought what he said was genuine 😭😭😭

that conversation between Ryan and billy was sooo good 😭

Ashley, if you wanna live, better fucking run 😳

oh god the vought on ice shit is so cringe lol

I miss Maeve 😭

is Victoria really gonna team up with homelander 😬 i hope not but also it could be interesting 👀

omg i knew they wouldn't just kill hughie but got scared anyway lol

oh my god this turned into a massacre lol homelander was really determined to kill 😳

A-Train came through!!! if he's fr on our side, im so here for it!! 🤩

Kimiko is so worried 😭

okay, I feel bad for hughie's mom 🥺

JDM has just the best voice 🥵

Sage and Deep?? ummm... 🤢 that was weird. what's the thing on the table??

Homelander is loooosing it 😳 so scared for Ryan, if he really snapped, he'd kill him fr

go home??? Im soooo invested omg

#the boys #the boys spoilers #the boys s4 #the boys tv #vicki watches the boys #thoughts while watching

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gemstonegirlies · 1 month

Text

My Life at Phoenix Drop High 0

prologue

WARNING: CRUDE LANGUAGE! GENERALLY UNHINGED!

"Dad this place is disgusting. Why out of all houses that you decide to flip, it had to be this shithole?"

"It'll be fine honey." Your mom tries to reassure. "Shit." She swore in French as she tripped on a pothole in the yard.

"Don't swear in French mom."

"Don't talk back to your mother." She chastises, still speaking French to make a point.

"Then don't curse in other languages." You retort in Norwegian.

"Don't switch up languages on me young lady." She shouts in German. "Oh now there I go. Do you have any idea how infuriating you can be young lady?"

"How infuriating I can be?! Mom I only have like three friends in this town where as at West Pomi High I was the most popular girl in school."

"That's because you threw outlandish parties in middle school." Your dad walks up and gently interlocks his fingers with your mom's. "We love you but we're doing what's best for you. I don't want to hear any more complaints; it's not easy to pack up and move to a whole different region. And I don't want any more incidents like the spring dance." Your father whispers seriously, before walking in to the house.

You brush past your mom, muttering something about "tiefla deserving it" on your way past, and make your way to the second floor. The stairs rattle under your angry stomps and you settle into your room, the attic.

The floor is brown and washed out, the paint on the walls is chipping and you swear you can see a dead rat in the corner. The only good thing it has is this small corner that jutted out because of this big window. You go over and push the top part open to get some fresh air. On the sides looked like some kind or railing so you push out the bottom one as well and see it turns into a little makeshift balcony.

You catch your breath and smile slightly. It may be a hovel compared to your last home but it doesn't have to stay that way. After all a diamond is just a rock that needs pressure and time to be beautiful and valuable. Or at least that was your father's company motto.

You pull out your phone and lean against the glass of your new balcony. A year earlier you met two girls at a camp you'd visited when you were traveling with your dad for a business trip of his. Your mom was off traveling in the Gal'ruk region. They mentioned that they lived in Phoenix Drop so you might as well give them a call and see if they'd be able to drop by and help you decorate.

You: Sup nerds!

Laylani: Hey (Y/n)!

Dallie: *coughcarriecough*

You: Shut up Jackass!

Dallie: Pussy

You: I love you😚

Dallie: Ugh pookie 😳 Dallie: We have an audience! You can be saying that 🥰

Parsley: You whores need to get a room

You: Can't help it 😫 You: I love my dollie

Laylani: Okay, just because her name is a homophone doesn't mean you should flirt with my sister like that!

You: I'm only seeing the bottom half of that text. You: "flirt with my sister!"

Laylani: NO!

You: Anyway bitches! I have a surprise for you!

You send a photo of your new empty room.

You: My dad moved us to Phoenix Drop. Thanks to his real estate company we have 7 pounds of tarp and five pounds of (F/c) paint. You: If you guys wanted you could come over and we could have a paint party. I could finally meat Parsley.

Parsley: Meet*Parsley: Unless you're trying to eat me.

You: Nah, I'm an Ally but I don't eat pu-

Dallie: aw 😞 jk Dallie: We'll be over soon!

Laylani: I'll bring over (s/f/c) and some stencils

Parsley: If I come I get to know about that Carrie comment 😑

You: Listen, I ask you hear me out before you judge

So you got what you needed set up and led the girls into your room. You guys get to work painting and telling Parsley about what the Carrie comment meant. "And that's why we had to move here."

"Wow. That's kinda of messed up. On her part I mean!" Parsley looks at you sadly.

"Yeah, you guys should have done more! If that bitch was harassing me for that long I would have done so much worse." Dallie chimes in.

"I think what you did wasn't right. But I'll stand by you as a friend and support you." Laylani gently scolds from the other side of the room.

"Kiss ass." Her twin Dallie teases.

"Whatever! I stand by my convictions." Laylani doubles down

"Hey if strawberry shortcake and my little pony taught us anything it's that "being a friend means telling you other friends hard truths they might not want to hear." Or something like that." You joke.

"Fair enough." Dallie smiles and goes back to painting.

Like the good friends they are they helped you unpack your clothes as the movers moved the bigger furniture.

"We will be having sleep overs here all the time I assume?" Dallie smiled, sitting next to you.

"Sure." You smiled casually, laying on your bed. Laylani was giving you silly hairstyles, your head on her lap.

"As long as I can bring something horror related." Parsley sat on the edge of your bed reading something on her phone.

"No body horror please." Laylani begged.

"Aw are you sensitive?" You giggled and hugged her, wrapping your arms around her neck. "You're such a softie."

"Ah! Hey!" She squeaks as she was caught off guard by the contact. The other girls laughed and after a while you all had dinner and they went home.

"Maybe things won't be so bad. At least there's a cute boy next door." You said as you looked out your balcony that night. "Yeah. Things will be fine."

#aphmau #pdh #aphmau pdh #mystreet pdh #my street #aphmau mystreet #phoenix drop high #phoenix drop days #aphmau phoenix drop high #Phoenix drop high x reader #pdh x reader #phoenix drop x reader

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dayseternal-blog · 2 years

Note

OKOKOK I might sound weird but do you have any kinky naruhina fanfics?

This anon has nearly the exact same wording as my most popular fanfic rec ask that I answered in 2021. For some pervy reason, that post has seen the most circulation out of all my fanfic rec lists 🤭 maybe because I sorted it by kinks? Maybe because I included hentai?

Anyway, perhaps the same anon is back for

A New Kinky Rec List ver. 2? 🙈

New year, new additions to the craziest, kinkiest NaruHina fics I've yet read 😳 lol again, majorly inappropriate, these new ones will be sorted by kinks below the cut.

NaruHina Smut & Kink

A reminder that some of these are meant to be read with humor! And these are all rated Explicit.

BDSM

“Down the Rabbit Hole” by @vegebulsoup - Modern AU, One-shot. Despite his protests, Jiraiya takes Naruto out to a hostess club for his birthday and it’s not quite what he expected.

"The sweet, shy, innocent Kunoichi" by @tjtheanimelover - Canon-Divergent AU, Series of One-shots. See Naruto's point of view as he and Hinata partake in some naughty activities

"Bruise" from "Lips, Tongue, Teeth" by @wickermayne - Canon-Compatible, One-shot. Warning: bruise and pain play

CLONES/THREESOME/MORESOME

“After the Bleeep” by @peppercornpress - Canon-Compatible, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto and Hinata agree to try out phone-sex while Naruto is off on a business trip. Things do not go as planned.

“Savage” from “NaruHina Erotica Oneshots” by @makuro767 - Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. I am the sun, you know you need me / And you might get burned if you take too much / Don’t get addicted ‘cause, I’m gonna fade you like that rush / Is that blood on me or blush?

"Double Trouble" by vegebulsoup - Canon-Compatible, One-shot. The Seventh Hokage is always using shadow clones to help him fulfill his many roles. He even sends one to help his wife around the house and keep her company. But when Hinata starts killing his clones in the middle of the day, Naruto struggles to keep his composure at work as the clone's memories flood his mind.

"High School AU" from "NaruHina & MenHina Lemons" by Veradux - High School AU, Three-shot. "This can't continue, Menma." Naruto sighed. "I'll invite her over, and we'll ask her to choose one of us."

"New Years, New Beginnings" from "Small Doses" by @chloelapomme - Modern AU, One-shot. Tonight was the night. New year, new beginning. She had finally made her decision regarding the two men that had been gravitating around her, openly flirting with her for a year now.

"Fun With Clones" from "Tales of the Seventh Hokage and the Byakugan Hime" by Nihal Tonks-Lupin - Canon-Compatible, One-shot. They've been married for 3 years now, and Hinata knew her husband better than anyone. She knew she could get him into trouble, but she also knew he would not mind at all. The reward was too great for him to complain about a little public embarrassment.

"Naughty Hinata" by afydith - Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata Hyuga was thought of as the most innocent person in the village, but how wrong everyone was.

"New Tactics" by konyah - Canon-Compliant, One-shot. Her eyes darted to the books on her night table. She absolutely cannot BELIEVE that Naruto had these sleazy books in his library, and in a spot their children could easily access! Even if they were from his mentor - she could tell that he had read threw them a few times from the slightly torn pages.

"Teaching" by Senrab Nomis - Canon-Divergent, One-shot. Hinata wants to learn the shadow clone jutsu, and who better to teach her than Naruto? Now if only he could figure out why her clones aren't exact copies. Surely there must be some reason they keep appearing in their underwear?

STAMINA/MULTIPLE ORGASMS/CUM INFLATION/SIZE KINK

"Valentine's Eve" by v0c SweetKiss - Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. With Naruto's love towards Sakura begins to waver, Hinata seized this opportunity to take action.

“Love in all the wrong places” by Pelican182 - Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. She knew what she was getting into, yet didn’t try to stop it. How could she when she’d already become so addicted. [I just found out that the fic was deleted or something. I tried to get it on the wayback machine, but it only had Ch. 1, Ch. 4, and Ch. 5]

"Spit" from "Lips, Tongue, Teeth" by wickermayne - Canon-Compatible, One-shot. They started with her fingers first. “I’m just too big, y’know? Don’t wanna hurt you,” Naruto mumbled between sloppy kisses.

“Hinata’s Plan” by EreborMarkus - Rated E for major hentai smut, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Hinata has been working on a plan for years now, and poor Naruto has no clue. It’s finally time to reel in her man.

"Naruto Hinata" from "Naruto Deserted Island" by Freedom Guard - Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. What do you do when you are stuck on an island with plenty of food and water, and the only company you have is a beautiful woman?Naruto is about to find out.

"Hinata Hyuuga, Training Session of Seduction" from "Naruto's Beginnings of the Fox's Seed" by sandkings321 - Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. Naruto Uzumaki is a dominating Adonis - blessed with good looks, a strong body oozing with pure manliness and unadulterated testosterone, pure animal magnetism, an unquenchable thirst for sex and a habit of dominating submissive horny women and bringing them into his harem.

"Icha Icha Paradise: The Jinchuuriki and the Hyuga Heiress" by DarkChild316 - Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. After a day of playing in the snow, Naruto and Hinata return home to the Hokage Mansion where things "heat up" in a hurry.

SQUIRTING

“Work Relations” from “Hinata Oneshot Series” by tjtheanimelover - Modern AU, One-shot. Naruto and Hinata are both adult film stars who have secret crushes on each other. When they finally get the chance to work together, the results will be explosive.

“Instagram Lust” by conquereddaddyissues - Rated E, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Naruto can’t stop thinking about Sakura’s roommate Hinata. Or asking about her. Sakura does him a favor, & now he can’t stop watching her Instagram stories. Or jerking off to them. Fuck, did Hinata turn him into a pervert?

CHEATING

"Happiness Found" by dreadlord789 - Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. The war has been won, differences have been set aside, and Naruto is now Hokage, married to his childhood crush. Though his marriage is far from perfect, he finds comfort in the one woman who has never left his side.

“Runner’s High” (to be rewritten) by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated E, College/Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. She’s an older woman. She’s also married. He’s a freshman at University. Single. She’s the one he wants and he doesn’t see what’s so wrong about that.

DRUGGED/DUB-CON/NON-CON

“Antidote” by tragedyneverends - Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. During a mission, Sakura and Hinata get bitten by highly venomous spiders. They don’t have enough time to prepare the antidote so, to save their lives, they’ll need Sasuke’s and Naruto’s… help.

"don't mind me" from "love incredible" by @ellaroundpanda - Magic AU, One-shot. In which a seemingly innocent box of cookies causes some trouble for Naruto and it's up to Hinata to deal with the consequences... Or, Naruto eats a bunch of cookies laced with extremely potent aphrodisiacs and no one but Hinata can help him.

"Blessed Poison" by @journalist298 - Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. After a run-in with a rogue female ninja who hates men, Naruto is infected with a poison that will kill him in 24 hours. There's only one cure. Hinata will do anything to save him...anything.

SEMI-PUBLIC/IN PUBLIC/EXHIBITIONISM

“Chapter 2: Modern AU” from “NaruHina and MenHina Lemons” by Veradux - Rated E, Modern AU, One-shot. Theme: Olympics Swimmer Naruto (22) x University Junior Hinata (19)

"Married Life:Crazy Adventures" by LolaTheSa - Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Come with Naruto and Hinata to see their married adventures.

"Icha Icha Nightly Report" by tjtheanimelover - Modern AU, One-shot. Hinata is a regular reporter for the Konoha News Station by day but is a freaky reporter by night. She will stop at nothing to go all out for her viewers but once her reports get leaked what will she do and how will everyone react?

“Naruto’s New Focus” by @truebkgirl - Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. For 18 months training and missions have been put on hold due to the loss of his arm. Now, Naruto is mission-ready and learns that a number of his comrades have taken on seduction missions… He’s questioning his feelings but never lets his focus waiver. Naruto has a new mission to endure. All he needs now is to figure out if SHE wants to be part of it.

"Peeping Naruto" by randomteenager - Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. Jiraiya orders Naruto to complete one of the hardest missions of his young life.

“On-Screen” by browniefic - Modern AU, One-shot. In which camboy Naruto’s girlfriend makes an appearance on camera.

PREGNANCY/LACTATION

"Perspective" from "Naruhina Oneshot Prompts" by tjtheanimelover - Canon-Compliant, One-shot. Written for NH Prompts 2022, March 1st- Extra Prompt: Perspective

"Relief (Hinata)" from "VulgarAssassin's Naruto Drabble Dump" by wickermayne - Canon-Compliant, Drabble. Boruto wasn't a hungry baby.

DARK!NARUTO/DEMON/KYUUBI

“Fifty Shades of Denial” from “Heartbreaks and Heartaches” by @powerful-niya - Crime AU, One-shot. NHPrompts22 Prompt 8: “You know, things wouldn’t be all that different if we were dating.”

"Incubus" from "NaruHina Erotica Oneshots" by Makuro767 - Demons AU, One-shot. It’s not a fairytale love story. It’s not a teenage romance. She didn’t even know if this can be considered romance.

"Friction" by Supercar - Canon-Compatible, One-shot. It was as if they were no longer just Naruto and Hinata. He couldn't tell where one ended and the other began. He didn't want to.

FURRY/MATING/ALPHA/OMEGA DYNAMICS

Chapter 13 from “NaruHina Oneshots” by powerful-niya - Fox!Naruto x Bunny!Hinata AU, One-shot. In a world where Humanus Hybrid Prey and Predators live and hunt, one fox and one bunny meet unexpectedly.

"The Beastmaster and the Witch" from "NaruHina & Menhina Lemons" by Veradux - Fantasy AU, One-shot. Hinata Hyuga, the Cosmic Witch of the East, is not a typical witch.

"Alpha" from "NaruHina Erotica Oneshots by Makuro767 - A/B/O Canon-Divergent AU, Three-shot. Naruto bit Hinata...that's not a good thing...or is it?

I wrote these:

“Sweet As” from “Needs & Wants” - Alpha/Omega Modern AU, One-shot. Hinata gives Naruto candy on Valentine’s, and he develops a crush early-on.

"Lovesick" - A/O Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. She wasn't ready for Naruto to come-of-age. He wasn't ready, either.

AGE DIFFERENCE

“Risk of Intimacy” by browniefic - Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Naruto knows right from wrong. He knows the right thing to do in this situation is to train his business partner’s daughter. He knows the wrong thing to do in this situation is to fuck her against his desk. But goddamn it, he’s only one person.

"Hinata (DILF Naruto)" from "Chicken Ramen for the Pervert's Soul" by wickermayne - Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. Naruto knew better. “Here you are, Uzumaki-sama.” He bit back a growl, taking the cup of tea from Hisashi’s eldest daughter.

"Lust for Life" by chloelapomme - Modern AU, One-shot. When did one stop being a child? A little kid seeking affection? Was it when they got so much that they eventually had to leave the suffocating love of their parents? Or was it when they never got enough that they asked for more in some other ways?

"Miss Hinata" by Sadistic One - Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Hinata's life had become a custom routine until Naruto joined her company four months ago. Somewhere in month three, Sakura assigns Naruto to be her work husband. That wouldn't be a problem if Hinata wasn't thirty-five and already married. However, Naruto knows this, everyone else knows she's married, so why did he kiss her?

"Dissolve Me" by bunnyhoodlum - Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. He remembers the her before the bad coping mechanisms as he struggles to find the balance between doing what's right and doing right by her.

"Hot For Teacher" by truebkgirl - College AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Without looking back up to him she says, "I'll be on at 9:45. Don't be tardy." Naruto's smile widens. "I haven't been tardy for you yet, Ms. Hyuuga."

ANAL

"Hole" from "Lips, Tongue, Teeth" by wickermayne - Canon-Compatible, One-shot. Naruto eats ass.

"Fantasy AU" from "NaruHina & MenHina Lemons" by Veradux - Fantasy AU, One-shot. Theme: Naruto (Dragon Emperor, 24) x Hinata (Sorceress Concubine, 21)

I know this list isn't exhaustive, like I'm definitely missing some good ones, but it's getting too long and the post keeps glitching lol. So anon, take a look at my first list and this one for a whole lot of smut!!

#anon #naruhina fanfic recs #naruhina smut #anyone feel free to add on #anon sent me this ask in May of last year...it's been a hot minute since then and the nh writers have really delivered terrific smut

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unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix · 3 months

Text

CME 17x02 Spoilers/Thoughts

(there's a couple of theories I have regarding this ep that I will get to in a bit, but feel free to send in some if you have something now. Once again, I am late to posting this lol but I gotta do it before the next ep. Admittedly, part of it is a rewatch lol. And some revised stuff)

“Directed by A.J. Cook” let’s fucking goooooo!

Ok I'm also studying AJ's directing choices bc I love it so much and rewatching it is so much better now that I have some more thoughts

Okayyyy, I am still not enjoying this enucleation thing. I have a weird thing with eyes that I don't enjoy seeing

That is so fucking closeeeee ughhhh, damn AJ (love the suspense tho)

Ok JJ standing in the video like that is kinda funny ngl. She's just like 🧍‍♀️

"run his... big mouth" JJ you wanted to say "his fucking mouth" I just know you do

Marriage, kids.... I knew this would play out in some way, I've been saying this since s16!!

JJ and Luke team up!!

I love the continuous shot in the beginning (I'm no film major and I only have limited knowledge through like a few electives in film lol)

Tyler and Rebecca were kinda funny in this continuous shot haha

Yeah Garcia, I agree upon seeing those photos ugh

Babysitting Tyler ("not you Garcia", "I don't want to do it") 😂

Yessss JJ vs. Voit interrogation scene!!!

Luke and JJ pretending to be a couple pretty much reminds me of Derek and JJ pretending to be one in s9. I love their team up!

"Come on, it's so good" I'm sorry, I'm having thoughts with the way she said it 😳

She's got eyes in the back of her head, that's the mom thing I swear. Like that one ep in s8 with the girl in the house who killed her sister and faked trauma and she heard her coming.

"Not your wife, maybe." Yesss get him girl

JJ looks so good in this. I had to rewatch this bc I wasn't paying so much attention until halfway through lol

Now my evolution jemily fic is looking pretty good with what's happening so far...

"That hurts my feelings. That you think I care enough about you to betray my oath." That may be hinting something... and also get him girlll

Ulterior motive that he might try and find... and JJ just looks at him with a straight face

JJ smiling when he agrees to see the file

She looks taller than him (and I know it's her shoes but it's still funny)

Them walking away at the same time, love it! AJ's directing choices here! She knew what she was doing.

Jemily interaction (over the phone) love it!! Hey at least JJ's calling Emily by her first name and not Prentiss, so that's good 😂

"We'll get him on the record, Emily" "ok", they're so soft signing off, I'm sorry

Utahhhh (never been actually lol)

Emily being so confused hearing her name and going "ok" when Rossi hallucinated Elias 🤣

Emily is going to have some tunnel vision on the Gold Star case. She's dead set on it being connected to Gold Star.

Tyler and Tara are actually pretty funny in the car scenes ngl

Then we throw Rebecca in it. It's awkward haha

I know a lot of people have some thoughts on Tebecca and Tyler just as a character, but I honestly loved their car scenes together. It's pretty fucking hilarious and AJ having to direct them is so good.

Tyler did work in Afghanistan, so did JJ.... 👀 It wasn't mentioned when tho I don't think

"It's her deodorant" omg. Tyler feels so awkward hanging with both of them lol. Also wtf Tara 😂

"what do you see?" "Your obsolescence"

JJ's "I should've known" look, my girlllll

Voit is looking scared and quickly denies it.

JJ being a smartass back at him yessss

"Yes I do" "No you don't" with the scoff

Social contagion

JJ was so done with him

JJ was getting closer and he knew it.

Emily with a kid!!

Idk if this is intentional but the kid talking about his guilt and Emily talking to him and saying it's not his fault. Emily.... you (and like JJ and Rossi) need to listen to your own words

Behavioral modification program?

Ok I have mixed feelings about the whole scene with Rossi and Emily. Rossi shouldn't have done that in front of the officer yes, but also this whole time, Emily's been super biased and set on the fact that it could be Gold Star. Like yeah, it's embarrassing to have that happen publicly and I would've reacted the same as Emily tbh, but they still don't have the whole profile on Gold Star. How sure could she be? (just saying it here now: the case ended up not being connected to Gold Star)

Rebecca's phone going off and Tara calling her out on it lol

Poor Tyler (never thought I'd say that). He's so done with them

I know some people think it's childish of Tara and Rebecca fighting in the car but I'm like laughing over here ahahaha

Tyler leaving ahahahaha

I've seen people say it's a "Hotchniss" moment when she mentions him, but.... I don't see it. Not bc I don't ship them, but it's not really a good thing for Hotch or Emily. She basically said that Rossi would've never called Hotch out, like ever. Especially not in public. She knows that Rossi would've backed Hotch up no matter what and supported him, which I think is where people we're talking about in this scene. However.... Rossi is also right in what he says here. He shouldn't have embarrassed her like that earlier, but he calls her out on her biased thinking. That's way too many consequences to deal with emotionally, but also legally. (big spoilers on the case here: the unsub ends up dead).

The girls are fighting

Oh and the queer girls are also fighting lol

"Fibrous" Tara you just farted 😭

Tyler looking for more clues and there are passports involved and finances I think....

JJ's angry at herself

"Agent Jareau has proven herself untrustworthy."

Fucking kidding me? It's always a threat with the "BAU can't do shit"

Luke going in now!

JJ directing him on what to do yessss

"Let's get started" Voit just did what JJ said to him in the last ep. He's in control, like JJ was in the beginning.

JJ being proud of him tho aww. I enjoyed that little moment. It got them somewhere.

"Jennifer" fuck you

I can't tell if that's a lie or not, that the profile is all wrong. I'm still fucking confused.

Omg wait. The cuts between Voit talking to Luke and the unsub in Utah with his victims. I think it's supposed to show the audience that the team has to pretty much start their whole profile over. Especially with the Utah case going along with what he's saying. Everyone will believe the lie all they want, could get someone killed, the BAU's methods is profiling based on abusive childhoods affecting the unsub, and in this case, it got "someone killed before he could spread it" = the unsub. Because of this, the director will make the BAU not work with Voit any further bc they screwed up. Basically, the case is not connected and that drives the team farther away from Voit's answers and Gold Star as a whole.

"Jennifer" fuck you again

Garcia confirms Aiden Keller's not part of it.

Emily beating herself up again :(

Oh fuck off

Luke you're like... giving JJ another hearing trauma

Injure, Jean, Fear, dot, Z, Y, Q. (as everyone guessed, yes it is an anagram for JJ's name). So my initial thoughts was either a file or website link, and from an article, it's a website link!

(There may also be deepfakes involved according to AJ 👀)

I think this whole thing is still government or military related (JJ, Luke, or even Tyler would know)

I think JJ might be accused of committing a crime with the deepfake.

Also it looks like JJ might know something. The look on her face.

Onto the next ep!!

Ughhh this got me hooked now!!

Ok I just wanna say the directing choices especially in the cell scenes, AJ has said that the cell becomes its own character in a way. In this case, the cell (bars) could indicate who is really “in prison/behind bars”, Voit or JJ/Luke. It’s the most prominent with JJ and Voit tho bc there’s a lot going on. The closeups with the two of them, especially JJ, could be hinting at something. (And if you’ve followed the articles and interviews of the cast, JJ will be involved in some way). (Forgot about this in the middle of the post lol)

#jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #david rossi #tara lewis #luke alvez #penelope garcia #tyler green #elias voit #cme s17 spoilers #cme season 17 spoilers #criminal minds evolution #criminal minds #cme 17x02

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