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#'''It's terrible that this is happening to you‚ you don't deserve any of this!' wait‚ does this sound condescending?'
izzy-b-hands · 7 months
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First notif i see after getting out of the shower i forced myself to take:
Button's (the poetry group, not the pirate lol. tho i would happily be a part of his poetry group too) chapbook contest opens up in November
do i dare dream and try to put together another chapbook again
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jelliedink · 5 months
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Ancient Vampire Partner as a Service Top Headcanons
Warnings: Pure smut. Mentions of death, blood, violence. No gender specified, but reader do get periods. Implication of abusive relationship. Author's note: I wrote an extensive introduction to this post, but then I realised that was mostly me rambling. So I decided to get straight (and kinda gay) to the point. Shall we? Divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more
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Here's my take on how I think the sexual dynamic between a human and their ancient vampire lover would go:
Your ancient vampire partner knew they had to be gentle and careful with you. Much like us when carrying a newborn puppy, they were aware of how easily your bones could break if they got too excited. Since sex for them was now more of an echo from their human days and not a survival need, they were ok with going without sex for long periods of time, perhaps waiting until you were ready to be turned. For now, they thought it was safer to wait.
You, on the other hand, were very much not ok with this. You were human, your body evolved to make happy chemicals from sex. As if that wasn't enough, the main survival strategy of your partner's species was looking hot as fuck to lure humans, getting their thoughts so clouded by lust that they'd ignore the stone cold touch, the sharp fingernails, the bluish hue of their skin and the sharpness of their teeth. Your whole body went crazy just by looking at them.
They knew you couldn't help it. So, whenever you were needy and in the mood, they didn't mind putting you on their lap, back against their chest, and touch you until you've had enough. They loved being able to make you feel good, whispering on your ear while playing with your body: "What do you want to try today?" "Do you want me to get one of our toys?" "Does it feel good like this?" "Is this intensity enough?"
In the days you desperately needed to feel them inside of you, they ignored their own desire while watching you ride them mesmerised, gently guiding your hips up and down while kissing and caressing whatever part of your beautiful, soft and warm body they could reach. God, how pretty you looked with your eyes out of focus, using their body to get off and scratch that itch.
And when you were too tired they gladly took the lead, paying attention to your every reaction, focusing on how to serve you better: "Hold my shoulders tight so I can reach deeper without hurting you, ok?" "Slow and steady, precious, or you'll be tired before we can have the amount of fun you deserve." "Here, it will feel even better if you touch yourself too."
But they were far from being selfless. The moment you got your period they morphed into a feral and self-serving beast, unable to control themselves any more than a hungry lion would if near a trapped deer. This was one of the very few times they could feed off of you and they were not letting all this food go to waste.
You'd get properly cushioned in a comfortable position, a heating pad on your lower belly, your legs on their shoulders and they would lick you clean. Prepare to be there for a while, no amount of begging would make them let you get up until they're finished. Of course you always tried to. Every time this happened, they'd first try to convince you with love and praises, but their tone got increasingly more authoritative and mean until you couldn't recognise your lover anymore. "My baby, you taste so good." "How can you be so good to me, my little angel?" "Can't you hold on just a bit more? Please? For me?" "Oh, you're being tortured with too many orgasms? You poor thing, that sounds so terrible." "Pretty, you're not getting up. Don't think that you have a choice just because I'm trying to be nice." "Maybe if I show you how painful I can make it you'll realise how good you're having it stop being such a whiny ungrateful brat. You want this, my baby? You want me to hurt you? So don't make me hurt you."
In the end they'd kiss your whole weak body and your puffed teary face while begging for your forgiveness. They'd say they don't deserve you, they are a monster, they just don't know how to control themselves when you smell like this and they were so hungry. You'd be pampered: a hot bath, body massage, your favourite food, that thing you've been eyeing for so long but was way too out of your budget.
They'd do just about anything you ask for. Anything but promise not to do it again.
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il-miele-che-scrive · 2 months
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Can I request something similar to your latest Lewis smau except y/n is Toto's daughter? It's controversial because she's younger, you know the drill
Sure!! <3 For this one I made Y/n a singer
Btw the song in this fic is made up lol
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username1 She's PRECIOUS
username2 Y/n is so me
username3 Honestly that's so reletable
username4 I swear this girl will pet any creature she can, how isn't she scared of catching some disease?
↳username1 Have you ever heard of water? Is the concept of washing your hands familiar to you?
username5 Oh to be a cat pet by Y/n Wolff...
username6 A rich girl petting strays... Imagine how much of a better place the world would be if she put the same energy into some charity work
↳username7 Y/n is known for doing charity work when it comes to animals. Pretty sure some % of her earnings goes to several pet charities, organizations. Not to mention she's been vegan for a few years now
↳username8 Wow immagine if you did your research before commenting
↳username9 i love how Y/n was born into the rich life but has always been humble and used her money to help others
username10 Literally she gets a lot of hate for being a daughter of a billionaire like okay next time she'll choose to be born poor lmao
username11 exactly!! there's a difference between flexing on daddy's money and using your daddy's money for good causes
username9 pretty sure she makes her own money now;)
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y/n_wolff Busy day at work 😋 look who I bumped into on the way to the studio!!
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georgerussell63 Look at you finally doing some work
↳y/n_wolff Don't worry, soon I'm back at my 2nd job (I just hang around the paddock looking all pretty and stuff)
georgerussell63 No, thank you ❤️ we don't miss you
lewishamilton Speak for yourself George, Roscoe likes when Y/n babysits him
y/n_wolff Roscoe is the only one who understands me for real 😭
roscoelovescoco Petition for an invitation next time you go to the studio
↳y/n_wolff I swear I sent one, it must've got lost on the way 🥹 the pigeon dropped it or something
roscoelovescoco Still using pigeons? That's not very vegan of you...
y/n_wolff Hey! I pay them, alright? If they didn't want to, they wouldn't do this job...
y/n_wolff (hey everyone this is a joke obv)
username3 Imagine what will happen when the haters see this comment section lol
mercedesamgf1 Can't wait to hear it ❤️
↳y/n_wolff 🫶
oscarpiastri Look at that last pic of Y/n with Lando
↳landonorris fuck you if I was an animal i wouldn't be a cat
y/n_wolff Right, you'd be a worm.
landonorris would you guys still love me if I was a worm?
oscarpiastri No
y/n_wolff No
username1 May this be a love song 🤞I need to her one from Y/n after her terrible breakup last year
↳username2 She had a boyfriend last year??
username1 Yeah, we don't know anything about him besides the fact that he broke her heart... Poor girl deserves some true love
username2 Was it a driver?
username1 I highly doubt it, they wouldn't be able to keep it so private
alex_albon Pls make it singable on track
↳y/n_wolff 😬 well...
alex_albon Y/n...
y/n_wolff It's a love song...
username4 SHE ADMITTED!! IT'S A LOVE SONG!!
↳username5 Our girl is in love again 😭
username4 I just hope he treats her better than her ex. Otherwise imma need to talk to him
maxverstappen1 If you like cats so much you should come over sometime
↳username4 Cats rizz 💀
↳username2 No cuz Max has had a crush on Y/n for so long now and I'd love to see them together
↳y/n_wolff You're a few weeks too late 😂🙈
username3 EXCUSE ME I NEED TO KNOW WHO THE MAN IS
username5 Me too, I just wanna talk... *cracking fingers*
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y/n_wolff The one I prayed for out now, let me know your thoughts 🩷🕊️
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georgerussell63 Since when are you so religious?🤨
↳y/n_wolff He changed me ❤️
oscarpiastri Great, another song Lando will make me unwillingly listen to
↳y/n_wolff You love my music, don't lie
landonorris yes he does
oscarpiastri Alright, I know a few songs
y/n_wolff A few songs my ass, I saw that iconic interview where you and Lando sing my songs
landonorris he will never admit it but he was a fan YEARS before he got into f1 and met you
y/n_wolff Not like I stalk his Twitter but I saw a post from 2019 about me, it had like 5 likes and Oscar was one of them lmao
landonorris i knew you had daddy issues but are you okay?
↳y/n_wolff Yeah why?? Wtf??
landonorris well after hearing this song I'm not
username1 "They may judge the age we are, the differences they see, but love knows not of boundaries, it only seeks to be free" MY GIRL IS A POET 😭
username2 I'm not ready to meet this man after hearing "He's walked through fire, faced his fears, but in his heart, there's room for tears" 😭
carmenmmundt Truly in love with the lyrics, they're out of this world, out of this century
↳y/n_wolff Thank you love 🥹
lewishamilton The chorus got me in a chokehold💜
↳y/n_wolff He's the one I prayed for, in the dead of night, a love like ours, hidden from sight. If people knew, they'd say it's wrong, but in his arms I belong🥹
↳username4 What is Lewis doing here...?
username5 Chill, he drives for Mercedes. George also commented in case you didn't notice
username3 Lyrics so beautiful miss girl was born in the wrong generation
↳username2 fr it sounds straight from 20th century poetry, she's too pure for the age of quick tinder hookups
username6 I knew what her father was like but damn...that song screams daddy issues...
↳username7 Y/n said music is her therapy, that's just how she chooses to express her emotions
username8 When are we going to talk about this part of the lyrics?? "In his eyes, reflections of victory, every triumph and mystery. He's raced through life, faced every curve"?? THIS HAS TO BE ABOUT A DRIVER
↳username9 Y/N AND MAX???
username10 me when I'm delusional
↳username11 I wish it was about Max, but it's certainly about an older guy. I mean, Max is a few years older than Y/n, but the song feels like the guy is in his 30s
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lewishamilton Summer break = days spent at the beach
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username1 Sir Lewis Hamilton casually adding his boss' daughter to his vacation pics 🤨
↳username2 fr did he think we wouldn't notice?
georgerussell63 Blink twice if Y/n forced you to post the last photo
↳lewishamilton She kindly asked and I agreed.
y/n_wolff Exactly. That's what I do. I ask. Kindly.
username3 SO HER SONG IS ABOUT HIM??
↳username4 Seems like it 🥹
username3 idk how I feel about it tbh... she's too young for him
username5 Yeah imo she'd be better with Max
username4 Shut the hell up guys, let them be happy, there must be a reason they're together
landonorris that's called soft launching, did you know that?
↳y/n_wolff Wdym?? We're just team bonding during the summer break
georgerussell63 Then why wasn't I at the team bonding?
y/n_wolff Uhhhh I'll call you back later, I'm driving through a tunnel 😬
username6 She's too young for him, will have her fun and move onto the next guy (Max?)
↳username7 You're the reason why so many celebs prefer to keep their relationships a secret
username8 WHAT DID TOTO SAY??
↳username6 Does he even know? 💀 AFAIK he doesn't have social media
username8 But it's impossible that he wouldn't know, right...?
y/n_wolff I love you but what is this basic caption?😭
↳lewishamilton I'd rather like to focus on how pretty you look
y/n_wolff I LOVE YOU 😭
landonorris simp
y/n_wolff Stfu Lando, you wish you could hang out with us at the beach
username3 Lmao didn't expect Lando calling the 7 times world champion a simp but here we are
username9 Okay guys but... The girlfriend effect? How will the girlfriend effect work in this case if Lewis is a fashion icon already?
↳username10 There must be a way for an upgrade, there always is
y/n_wolff Sorry, he's all perfect already🫶I guess the gf effect only applies to boys and my man is a real man🗡
maxverstappen1 Have fun ☀️ see you back on track soon
↳username6 Something doesn't feels right seeing Max in this comment section...
username10 Get your shit together, him and Y/n never had a thing, y'all made it all up based on one interview Max gave years ago
mercedesamgf1 🌞😎
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y/n_wolff He's the one I prayed for
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lewishamilton I love you babe but what is this basic caption?
↳y/n_wolff You're learning from the best, I see
georgerussell63 Good to know you're still team bonding 👍
↳y/n_wolff Yeah, we bonded really hard last night😌
georgerussell63 TMI
oscarpiastri The last pic 🤓
↳landonorris she's getting bold isn't she
y/n_wolff I don't have reasons to be shy tho, do I?
landonorris girl made one good song and made it her whole personality
↳y/n_wolff This is girlhood, you'd never get it
landonorris btw this is hard launching but in a 'we don't give a fuck' way
↳y/n_wolff Well, we don't 🤷‍♀️
username1 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LITTLE Y/N😭
↳username2 She grew up 😭
username3 I love how nonchalant they're about it
carmenmmundt Someone's been working out🤭
↳y/n_wolff Now I have a personal trainer 😌
username4 WHAT DID TOTO SAY??
↳username5 Bet we're gonna see much more of smashing his headset after the break
username6 How is she so casual about it? We just found out she's dating LEWIS MF HAMILTON and she's acting like that's nothing
↳username3 I guess it is 'nothing' for her, she's known Lewis since she was really young
username7 That's what's giving me the biggest ick because this man has known her since she was an early teen and suddenly decided to date her?
username3 Yeah but she's in her 20s now, she's a consenting adult
username7 That's not normal, this is the definition of grooming
username3 I'm sorry I'm too european for your bullshit
username8 Lewis said fuck it I'm going to Ferrari next year anyway, might as well shoot my shot 💀
username9 Max Verstappen has been really silent
↳username10 Now he'll compete with Lewis not only for the championship but also for Y/n 😂
username9 It would be such a win
username11 Can y'all MaxY/n shippers shut up? I swear y'all are worse than Lestappen shippers
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y/n_wolff Roscoe working hard while his dad socializes with his grandpaw 🥳
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username1 I didn't even realize now that Y/n and Lewis are together it means Toto is Roscoe's grandpaw 😭
georgerussell63 Working hard or hardly working?
↳y/n_wolff No comment...
landonorris really shocked to see toto still gets along with lew
↳username2 Lando saying what we all think lol
↳y/n_wolff Dad was actually happy!!
landonorris does he hope you'll convince lew to stay in mercedes?
y/n_wolff How am I supposed to know 🤷‍♀️ you go talk to him
oscarpiastri New songs when?
↳y/n_wolff Soon!! (I haven't started working on them)
username2 I'm actually happy to see them happy and that Toto accepts Lewis as Y/n's boyfriend
↳username3 It's still weird 💀 imagine calling a 40 year old your 'boyfriend'
username2 People are allowed to find love at any age
username3 Lewis is closer in age to Toto than to Y/n
username2 And? Y/n isn't a child, she's a grown woman, if Lewis is what she wants, who are we to judge?
username3 It's just icky... It's not gonna last long
username4 I still can't stop thinking what could be if Y/n was dating Max 🥹
↳username5 fr my dream couple
username6 Y'all see how Y/n predicted people's reaction in her song? "If people knew, they'd say it's wrong" and y'all can't stop yapping about imaginary grooming or what her and Max could've been
↳username7 Girl should've kept it a secret, I feel sorry for them 🥲
↳username8 But in his arms I belong
y/n_wolff Okay everybody, I didn't want to talk about it, but you give me no choice. Lewis and I are in love, there was no grooming involved, I make my own decisions. I really wanted to cherish our love with my new music, but you make me re-think it. I don't feel excited to share our love with you anymore.
↳lewishamilton Don't worry about them darling ❤️
↳danielricciardo FEA
↳landonorris You have our support guys
↳oscarpiastri Don't let these comments get to you, they don't matter
↳georgerussell63 I know I usually act like a snappy older brother, but I love to see you happy (even if Lewis is the reason)
↳maxverstappen1 Haters are always gonna hate, but they don't deserve your attention
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satorusugurugurl · 1 month
Note
If this request makes you uncomfortable or isn’t something you want to write, I apologize and please ignore my request!
Heyy! I was wondering if I could request a satoru x reader x Suguru smut? With like, some bdsm mixed in yk. Tying reader up, satoru is a tease, and likes to make her squirm and ask questions he know she can’t answer because Suguru is fucking her throat. But Suguru is mean. Mean and tougher than satoru. He tells satoru to stop being so gentle with you, that not only do you deserve rough treatment but you like it. And satoru listens to him, of course. I just want them to run through me like a train😞
Also same mean geto anon (again lol) I’m gonna just sign off w an emoji now :3 -🍭
Hi Anon!
This isn't my cup of tea, it's my FUCKING jam!!
Summary: Gojo and Geto had been on a two-week-long mission, which hadn't gone as smoothly as Suguru wanted. He was pent-up and frustrated. So, of course, Gojo called you to warn you it might not be a good idea to come over. You, of course, did not heed his warning. The second you get home, you realize that you were screwed.
Word Count: 3,706
Warnings: BDSM, rough sex, oral sex, so much sex, degradation, teasing, the smuttiest of smut
A/N: Good God, Satoru x Reader x Suguru is my weakness!! I put my whole heart into this. Geto Suguru, teacher AU, is my kryptonite!
Part Two
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She Likes it Like That
“Y/N babe,” Gojo said in a hushed whisper, “you probably shouldn't come home tonight.”
You cocked an eyebrow, looking away from the first year's training. “I'm sorry, did you just tell me not to come home. . .to our apartment?” The world ‘our’ came out like acid.
Gojo sighed overdramatically. “Don't say it like that. I'm trying to save you! Suguru is in such a bad mood.” You listened to him walking around. “I sighed out loud when I noticed the last of my mochi was gone. Fuck you for that, by the way, and do you know what he said to me?” You pinched at the bridge of your nose, waiting for the rant to continue. “He told me to shut the fuck up! For sighing!”
“What did you do to piss him off? Oh, and just an FYI, I bought you more mochi, asshole.”
“Oh—” silence, “thank you-I’m sorry, please don't return it.”
“Satoru! Forget about the mochi. What happened to Sugu?”
The mission your partners were sent on did not go as planned. Their hotel had flooded; it was not like they had time to consider sleeping. The higher-ups sent them to an abandoned mountainside village full of cursed spirits. Poor Suguru had to swallow dozens for nearly two weeks. Gojo had enough; he couldn't stand the pained expression on his face as he gagged the last spirit down. So he decided to Hollow-Purpled the entire village.
The second they got back, the higher-ups scolded the hell out of them. Chastising them, complaining that they didn't do a good enough job. After all their hard work, the time they spent away from home, from you. Those bastards dared to complain about their hard work. It sent Suguru into a terrible mood, one that was bound to end with either a fight or someone getting fucked into the mattress.
One thing about Suguru was that when he was pissy, things felt out of his control. He needed to take control back. Which meant he wanted to have sex. He would be rough, really rough, tying either you or Satoru up, not letting you go until he had calmed down. Or if one of you was fucked too stupid to continue, his eyes focused on the other that wasn't tied up.
“So please, just stay with Ieiri tonight. I'm going to lock myself in my room. Last time he was this pissed off, the both of us were so sore we couldn't move.”
“Ugh, fuckin’ whatever.” This whole situation wasn't fair. You hated how your boyfriends were mistreated.
“Yeah, just stay the—oh, hi Suguru.” There was a shuffling in the background. “No, I wasn't talking shit.” Satoru nervously laughed. “Look, Sugu—no, put down the rope—”
“Toru?” Panic for your boyfriend sank into your stomach.
“Hey! Wait a second—Sugu—”
Before any other indication of what was happening came through the receiver, the other line cut off. So you quickly yelled to the students you had to leave and took off. By the time you made it, you were breathless from running and realized that in your panic, you left your keys at work.
You picked up the spare key hidden under the doormat. Just as you were about to unlock the door, it flew open. You slowly blinked, looking up at a very irritated Suguru. The man radiated gloom and tension. He was in his sweatpants, and his hair was tied in a messy bun, and, dear God, he looked pent up.
“Why the fuck are you using the spare key?”
“I-I uh—”
“Ooooh~ there she is~!” a hand gently rested against Suguru’s shoulder as Satoru peered down at you from behind your dark-haired boyfriend. “There's our girl!”
It only took a moment to see that Satoru mirrored Suguru’s frustration and anger. Oh fuck. The key fell from your hand as you took a step back. Suguru was demanding and rough when he was pent up. Satoru, on the other hand, was a tease. He liked pushing you, making you cry. Both of them being in a pissy mood simultaneously, this was a nightmare for you.
“Y-You, I thought you were in trouble!”
“Oh yeah, no.” Suguru’s soured face slowly twisted into a smirk as Satoru licked his lip. “But you~?” Suguru’s hand darted out, grabbing you by the front of your shirt, preventing you from moving further back. “You're royally fucked.” Before you even had a chance to respond, Suguru and Satoru grabbed you, yanking you inside.
“Awe~” Satoru hummed as he trailed his kiss up the bare thighs he lay between. “Look at you~ trying to clamp your thighs shut.” Gojo’s fingers were buried deep inside of you. Finger fucking you to the edge of yet another orgasm he would deny. “But you can't, can you~? Suguru’s got you all tied to the bed, spread out for us to use you.” A muffled moan escaped you. “Huh? What was that princess? You gotta use your big girl words.” Satoru tilted his head, cupping his free hand around the back of his ear. “Oooh! That's right, you can't talk when getting your throat fucked.”
You gagged as Suguru's cock hit the back of your throat. He was quiet, his eyes shut in concentration. He looked so fucking hot, so focused on the feeling of your mouth. Sweat was beading on his forehead as he pulled in and out of your mouth, grunting softly as you hollowed your cheeks. But the more Satoru spoke, the more Suguru knitted his eyebrows.
“I bet you want me to stuff your pussy, too, don't you~? You want to be spit-roasted between your two boyfriends?” Your pussy twitched at his words. “Oooh~!! Your cunt just twitched. Is that what our sweet girl wants—”
“Satoru,” Suguru snarled, “shut the fuck up.”
“Well, excuse the fuck out of me. Y/N likes it when I tease her.”
Suguru tsked, pulling his thick cock out of your mouth. You gasped and coughed, spit and precum coating your chin. Between your pants and the gasps for air, Suguru went to what you thought would be a head pat. Instead, his fingers tangled in your air with a hard yank, pulling you up to look down at Satoru. His face was flushed, cerulean eyes wide as he looked between his two partners.
“Look at the fucking slutty face she's making.” The grip on your hair tightened. “You think she looks like this because of your pitiful teasing?” A shaky moan escaped you as he tightened his grip harder. “No, she looks like this because this little slut likes it rough.”
Fuck, you wanted more, to run your hands over Suguru’s arms, to grip his cock, urging him to keep fucking your throat. You were desperate to trap Satoru's head firmly between your thighs, forcing him to kiss and lick your clit. Instead, you weakly tugged at the purple restraints tied to both your wrists and ankles. Suguru had set up the rigging underneath the mattress, making it impossible for you to move. Meaning if you wanted his cock back in your mouth or Satoru’s tongue inside of you, you had to wait for them.
What made it more frustrating was the fact that you were completely bare. Not allowing you to hide the way your body reacted to Suguru’s dirty words. He was telling the truth. And the truth was behind your body's reactions. Gojo could see it in the way your tight entrance clenched around his fingers. He could feel your pussy drip around him, your wetness running down his knuckles. Suguru was right; you did like it; no, like wasn't the right word.
You fucking loved it.
Suguru could see the wheels turning in Satoru’s head as his eyes glittered with lust and excitement. “Satoru~ do you finally see it?~” The way Suguru purred his name had Satoru’s cock throbbing. “You see why she came home, even though she knew she’d get fucked?”
“Yeah, yeah, she's a fucking slut.”
“Yeah, she is.” A sharp tug on your head made you yelp. Suguru grinned, cocking an eyebrow at you. “You want it rough? Want me to fuck your throat so hard you cry, pretty girl?”
“Y-Yes, please.”
Gripping his cock at the base, Suguru slapped his thick meat against your cheek. “That's a good girl. Now open up.” slowly, you opened your mouth to him. Watching your tongue slip out had his tip angry, throbbing red. “Now,” he smeared the beading precum over your bottom lip, “say ah~.”
“Ahh~” The second that sound left your pretty mouth Suguru shoved his cock in your mouth. Your eyes stung as tears filled your eyes.
Satoru’s fingers had stopped their slow movements inside of you. His mouth was dry as he gulped. Suguru had been rough before, but this was a whole new level. His thick fingers wrapped around your Y/H/C hair, holding your head in place. His hips pull back before slamming forward, his ass clenching with the force of each thrust. Blue eyes slowly trailed over to your face. Your eyes were red, big tears slowly down your cheeks, and your throat was fucked. Satoru swore he could see Suguru’s tip bulging in your slender neck.
This was fucking hot. Suguru’s bare back glittered in the low light of the bedroom, a sheen of sweat beaded over his toned muscles. It was like watching a god fuck a mortal Suguru radiated a dominating power as he watched their girlfriend choke and gag on his cock. Satoru’s cock was so hard it fucking hurt. Reaching down, he wrapped his hand around his throbbing shaft, jerking it slowly as he leaned down, kissing and nipping at your inner thighs.
The gentle kisses had you sighing contently around Suguru’s cock. Looking over his shoulder, Suguru sighed as he watched Satoru. His pink tongue was stuck out, gently teasing your damp folds. The sensation had you sighing around his dick, and that was not what he needed right this fucking second. Suguru wanted more; he needed it to relieve the tension in his shoulder. But that relief, the release he needed, wouldn’t happen, with Satoru teasing you like he loved to do.
“Satoru,” Suguru's voice was rough, “I just told you Y/N likes it rough.”
“Uh-huh~” Satoru’s voice was muffled as his face buried in your pussy, making you whine around the cock buried in your mouth.
“You’re not being rough enough.” Satoru pulled back, making you whine in protest. “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you want to come down here and eat Y/N’s pussy while I get my dick sucked?”
“No.” The cocky smile that was beginning to form on Satoru’s face was suddenly gone as Suguru reached his free hand down, wrapping his fingers in soft white hair. “I want you to fucking eat her cunt out like you fucking hate her.” Your eyes rolled back as Satoru was slammed back down into your pussy. The moan that left his mouth vibrated just right against our clit, making you cry out. “Ah~ fuck yes.” Your cries vibrated around Suguru’s cock, just the way he wanted. “That’s it, Satoru, keep it up.”
“Mmmmph.” Finally, having a picture of how Suguru wanted him to act, Satoru found himself motivated. Again, it might be because his boyfriend was tugging and pulling at his sensitive hairline. Yeah, that was motivating him. Fuck you like he hated you, he could do that. He was just as pent-up as Suguru was.
Fingers slammed inside your pussy, fucking in and out of your tight hole with a force and speed that had you crying out in pleasure. Your moans felt so fucking good, and the more you opened your mouth to cry, the deeper Suguru fucked your throat. He hit the back over and over again, his hand pressing firmly against Satoru’s head, pushing him harder against your clit. The two of you moaned while your mouths were being used; the sounds of whimpers, squelches, and gagging were like a symphony to Suguru’s ears.
Out of all the ways for him to relieve his stress, this was by far his favorite.
“Hah—fuck keep that up, Satoru, bring her right to the edge, then stop. I want her cumming with both of us inside of her. Fucking her so rough she has to call out of work tomorrow and Friday.” The thought of that had you pulling on your restraints. “Oooh oh, you like that? You like knowing the two of us will make sure you can’t walk or talk tomorrow?” Your muffled moans were quickly molded into gags as Suguru roughly fucked your face. “Yeah, you fucking do, you nasty little slut.”
Your mind was spinning as you felt yourself climbing closer and closer to your orgasm. The room was so hot and reeked of sex. It was all you could do not to allow yourself to cum right then and there. Satoru could feel it, the way your little swollen clit throbbed against his tongue, how your walls clamped down on his fingers. He wanted to send you over the edge. He was close to following you as he fucked his hips helplessly into the mattress, wishing it was your wet pussy instead.
One orgasm wouldn’t hurt, would it? You had been so good to them, allowing the duo to drag you into the house, strip you in the entryway, and tie you to the bed. Plus, on top of all that, they had left you alone for two weeks. You had to rely on that stupid vibrator Suguru insisted on allowing you to keep. That stupid toy was nothing compared to his tongue. Which was probably why he was bringing you to a mind-blowing orgasm in under three minutes.
Yeah, he was going to let you cum.
Curling his fingers up into your g-spot, Satoru fucked you as fast as his wrist would allow. Suguru instantly knew what was happening. From the way your eyes shut to how loud you were moaning around him, you were seconds away from cumming. If he was in a better mood, he might have allowed it to happen. Unfortunately, he wasn’t done with you yet.
“Stop.” Suguru scolded, pulling Satoru away from your dripping sex.
Both you and Satoru made disapproving groans as your orgasm slowly faded out of sight. “Doesn’t she deserve a treat? She’s been so good!” Satoru whined, licking your juices off his lips.
“I agree. Y/N does deserve a reward. But you need to give it to her in the roughest way that you can.” Suguru pulled his cock out of your mouth, allowing you to catch your breath. “Look at it this way. We get to blow off the steam while we make up for making her play with herself for two weeks.”
“Huh?” Those words struck a different chord in Satoru, and his cock twitched.
“Y/N, sweetheart, how often would you say you played with yourself when we were gone.”
You swallowed at the air greedily. “I don’t know, seven, maybe eight times.” Both your boyfriends shuddered, hearing the hoarseness of your voice.
“And out of all of those times, did you cum as hard as you do with us.”
“Not at all. They were all baby orgasms.”
Suguru shut his eyes, nodding his head. “See, Satoru, not only does our little slut like us rough and demanding, but we have to make up for those eight little orgasms.” When the dark-haired man looked back at Satoru, he saw a flash of white before your scream of shock and please bounced off the walls.
Suguru’s eyes were slightly wide as his brain tried to catch up with what his eyes had just witnessed. What he saw was Satoru balls deep inside of you. His thrusts were sloppy and needy, and fuck you looked as stunned as Suguru. One second you had been empty, pussy craving a cock deep inside of it from the denied orgasm. In the blink of an eye, Satoru was fucking into you more brutal than he’d ever fucked you before.
“I fucking told you, that toy was nothing compared to us.” Satoru snarled against the crook of your neck, digging his teeth into the sensitive skin. “Fucking stupid toy, not pleasing my girl.”
“Oh my—fuck, holy fuck!” You cried out, mouth wide open. Giving Suguru the perfect opportunity to get back to fucking your throat. The bittersweet taste of pre-cum had your mouth watering. He returned to the brutal pace he was in several minutes again.
“She needs that Satoru. What if we get sent on another long mission? She’s just supposed to suffer?” The thought of that had Suguru tilting his head, bangs falling in front of his eye. “You know what, I think you might be on to something. If we take her toy away, then we’d have to fuck her even harder the next time we get home.”
Satoru’s teeth sank harder into your neck as the tip of his cock slammed almost too hard into your cervix, making you scream around Suguru. “Exactly. Let me use reversal red on it, Y/N, please, baby.” You started to shake your head in a desperate plea to let you keep it. But Suguru’s cock in your throat made it impossible to do so. “What was that? Oh, right, you have your mouth full.” His lips moved against your pulse as his fingers dug into your hips. “Guess we’ll just have to say the way your clamping down on my cock is a yes in our book.” Your eyes darted up to Suguru, who had bought you the toy, for help.
“Mhmm fuck, yeah, I’m pretty sure she just hummed an ‘uh-huh’ around my cock.”
You wanted to argue, to fight against this rash decision, but you felt so good it was almost impossible to care. You were screaming around Suguru’s cock. Tears streaming down your face, leaving behind trails of mascara. They were both being so mean and rough. God, it was so fucking good. Who cared about a clit sucker when your throat and pussy were being fucked into next week.
“She’s close.” Satoru cried out, his balls slapping against your ass. “Oh fuck she’s hugging my cock so tight I’m going to explode Suguru.”
With blurry eyes, you glanced up at Suguru. His cheeks were flushed, and his eyes shut tight. “I know, oh fuck I know, I’m so close, Satoru, don’t fuckin’ stop, make her cum, make her cum so hard.” Both his hands grabbed your face fucking your throat roughly as Satoru cried out, his hand pressing roughly on your clit, rubbing it in fast circles.
That was all that you needed. You cried out, squirting all over Satoru’s crotch, abdomen, and the mattress. Your orgasm set a domino effect between your boyfriends. Suguru followed behind you, his body hunched over you, his hands gently squeezing your head as he filled your mouth full of his thick cum. You weakly tried swallowing all of it, but that was somewhat difficult as Satoru extended your orgasm.
His thumb continues to rub your clit until his face scrunch up, mouth open in a feral growl. Satoru's orgasm hit him like a punch in the gut. He fucked all three of you harder, closer to oblivion. The headboard slamming against the wall as the restraint dug into your wrists was the only thing grounding you to remain on Earth. Satoru didn’t let up on the rough thrusts until he felt his cum dripping around his cock onto the bed.
The throbbing pain in the back of your throat, deep inside of your pussy was all the confirmation you needed that your boyfriends had fulfilled their promise. Never in your life had you been fucked so roughly. But it was a pain that you warmly welcomed.
After coming down, Suguru was the first to move gently. The rough hands that had been holding you in a vice gently held you as he pulled his softening cock out of your mouth. “Lay down.” His gruff, gentle voice whispered as he helped rest you against a pillow.
“Oh fuck—“ Satoru lifted his head off your shoulder, “I haven’t cum that hard in a while.” He was so slow, pulling out of you, grimacing as you cried out. “Sorry, fuck I’m sorry, baby.”
You shut your eyes, listening to Satoru getting out of bed. You could hear water running in the bathroom as gentle fingers began undoing your restraints. “You did such a good job, Y/N,” Suguru whispered. “Such a good girl for us.” His praise had you humming happily as he made quick work of the rest of the ropes.
“Suguru, let’s order in, yeah?”
“Yeah, that sounds good.”
The next half hour was a blur of warm happiness. Satoru helped wash your body in a bubble bath before Suguru joined you, kneeling next to the tub, lovingly stroking your face and hair. After you were cleaned up, your hair brushed, and pajamas on. You crawled into your bed with fresh sheets and relaxed. Satoru and Suguru fluffed your pillows and brought you a cup of tea for your raw throat. When your dinner arrived, the three of you sat in bed together to eat as a B-grade horror movie played on the television.
After eating, Satoru left to throw out the take-out containers. “Mmm, thank you for letting us do all that,” Suguru said as he crawled into bed after his shower. “That mission, it was rough.”
“I’m always happy to help.” Your voice cracked, making Suguru frown. “Stop frowning,” you flicked his forehead. “I like it rough.”
The bed dipped, and Satoru wrapped his arms around your waist. “Y/N can handle it. She is dating the two strongest, after all.” Both you and Suguru scoffed, relaxing in the growing silence. “Oh, by the way, Y/N.”
“Yeah?” You yawned, snuggling into Suguru’s chest as he turned the bedside lamp off.
“Did you bring home my mochi?”
In the dark of the room, you heard a thump and Satoru’s whine before Suguru pulled the three of you closer to him. “Satoru shut the fuck up about the mochi.”
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lustfulslxt · 2 months
Text
It’s You - Matt Sturniolo
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summary : matt’s secretly in love w y/n, she bails on him and later realizes it was a terrible decision because it's him
warnings : very slight angst, fluff, smut
a/n : based on these texts (1, 2)
-
It didn’t take long for you to get ready and head over to Matt’s. If you were being honest, your nerves were wrecked. You felt so guilty for ditching him over a boy. Matt didn’t deserve that. He’s only ever been the best to you, and you were nothing less than selfish.
Sitting in your car outside of his house, you take a deep breath. He’s your best friend, you guys will figure it out. You shut the car off and make your way to his front door, deciding to knock rather than walk in as per usual. You’re not waiting very long when the door is unlocked and opened.
Seeing Matt feels like a breath of fresh air. However, at the same time, your guilt increases.
“Matt, I’m so sorry. I swear I wish I could take it back.” You immediately rush out your words.
“Why’d you knock?” He questions with a quizzical expression.
You falter a bit, “I-uh, I didn’t want to overstep in case you’re mad at me.”
"Come on." He says, nodding his head back for you to come inside.
He steps aside, holding the door open for you. You quickly walk inside, your hand finding his almost instantly. You can't help it, the fear of losing him urging you to bring him in closer. He looks down at your connected hands, his heart racing at the simple touch. He squeezes your hand tighter, pulling you up the stairs with him.
Your stomach flutters at the gesture, your mind racing with so many thoughts, yet nothing at the same time. You follow him back into his room, shutting the door behind you. He kicks his shoes off and lies back on his bed, beckoning you over. You copy his action before sitting beside him.
"So." Matt mutters, shooting a quick glance at you.
"About before." You start, a frown immediately pulling to your lips at the thought. "I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I was just so caught up in the fact that he was into me, I tried to do whatever he wanted to make it work. So, when he wanted to get together that weekend, I did. I never should've cancelled on you; I regret it so much. I'm really sorry, Matt."
He looks down at the floor, biting his inner cheek. "You really upset me."
Your frown deepens from his words, "I know, and you have every right to feel that way. I wish I could go back and undo it. You didn't deserve that. There's not much I can say, because I don't want to just give you excuses. It was wrong of me. I know you worked hard to get those tickets, and I truly am sorry."
"So, you're not seeing him anymore?"
You shake your head with wide eyes, "No, definitely not."
He gives you a small smile, "Good."
You squint your eyes at his response, before he's spreading his arms for you. You grin, crawling over and lying in his arms, squeezing for dear life.
"Any tighter and I'll explode." He chuckles in a low whisper.
You softly loosen your grip with a sheepish smile, "Sorry, I just don't want to lose you."
He sighs, "You're not gonna lose me, kid. Not now, not ever."
“I’m sorry, Matt.” You whisper, glancing up at him. “Honest.”
He brushes the hair from your face, staring down at you with a gentle look on his face. “I know.”
The two of you are met with a silence, but a comfortable one. Being with Matt always washes your worries away. He makes everything better without even having to put much effort, yet he always does. He gives you his all every single second of every day. You don’t know what you’d do without him.
“Do you wanna talk about what happened with your date?” He questions, running a hand through your hair as your head lies on his chest.
“I guess I just realized he’s not the man I want.” You admit after a moment of pondering.
“What does that mean?”
You turn your head, meeting his gaze. He has a curious expression and you can’t help but stare, lovingly. You’ve always found him so beautiful.
“I don’t know.” You lie, laying your head back down.
His hand moves around your face, grasping your chin to turn you back towards him. “Tell me.”
You’re so close that you can feel his breath fan against your face as he speaks. His bright blue eyes bore into yours with such intensity you find it hard to catch your breath. It’s like he’s put a spell on you. You’re suddenly in this trance and you feel the need to spill everything.
Your hand meets his cheek, softly caressing it as you contemplate admitting your truths. You take a deep breath, preparing yourself for possible rejection. “It’s you.”
His heart starts beating faster from those two little words, but he needs confirmation. “Me?”
“You, Matt. You’re the man I want.” You finally say out loud, almost feeling a literal weight taken off of your shoulders for finally letting it out.
Matt feels like he's dreaming. He never would've guessed you'd ever say that, but he can't help the cheesy smile that plasters itself on his face. Your worried eyes glimmer at his reaction, hoping it's something good.
"Why do you think I tried so hard to get you those tickets?" He whispers, his lips almost grazing yours with every word.
"Say it." You whisper back.
"You know, Y/N." He breathes.
"I need you to say it."
"It's you." He repeats your previous words, making your stomach flutter with butterflies. "It's always been you."
Your lips turn upwards, flashing your pearly whites as you smile at him. Without another thought, Matt's hand tightens around your jaw, pulling you into him. His lips meet yours in a hard kiss, like any second you'll disappear. Your lips tingle from the feeling of his on yours, metaphorical sparks flying.
Your hand meets the side of his face, your fingertips brushing through his hair as your palm caresses his cheek. The kiss deepens as he slips his tongue into your mouth, exploring it like it's all he's ever known.
His hands trail down your body, squeezing every curve, making you softly moan into the kiss. He breaks away, his eyes wide and suddenly a lot darker than before. He swiftly flips the two of you over, hovering over you with one leg in between yours and holding himself up on his hands. He drops to one of his elbows, using the opposite hand to trace your bottom lip. His hand travels lower, closing around your neck in a soft grip as his lips meet yours again.
His tongue glides over yours so deliciously, humming into your mouth at the taste of you. You can feel his erection growing against your thigh, igniting a fire in your stomach. The desire that was put off for so long burns brighter, heat forming between your legs.
His lips part from yours, instantly trailing down your jaw and to your neck. He licks and sucks, nibbling the sensitive skin, eliciting soft whines from you that go straight to his dick. His hands slide under your shirt, gripping your warm skin, slowly moving upwards towards your breasts.
He pulls away with red, swollen lips, "Do you want this?"
"So bad." You beg, frantically nodding your head.
A smirk pulls to his lips as he continues working on your neck, letting his hands roam your body. They slide over your plush skin, gripping your boobs through your bra. You arch your back into his touch, heavy pants falling from your mouth. He pulls away and tugs at your shirt. You slightly lift yourself, allowing him to remove it, before he's pushing you back into the bed.
His bruised lips meet your skin in open mouthed kisses, leaving specks of saliva in his wake. Your skin burns beneath his touch, and you can't help but whine at the sensation, desperate for more. His teeth bite down on the skin of your collarbones, leaving marks behind. He continues doing this all over your torso, licking over said marks.
"Matt, please." You whine, bucking your hips up into his.
"Shh, I got you, baby." He hums into your skin as he pulls your bra straps down.
He nips at your shoulders, littering your skin with little bites and kisses. It's safe to say, you're drenched from his touch alone. You feel hot and bothered, needy for more stimulation at your core. His fingers grasp the little clip at the front of your bra, sliding it apart, freeing your breasts.
"Mmm." He groans, engulfing the soft mounds in his hands. "Always knew you had perfect tits."
His lips wrap around one nipple, tweaking the other with his finger. His tongue swirls over the sensitive bud, letting his teeth graze it, sensually. Your mind is hazy, and you're stuck in a daze as he repeats that action on your opposite nipple.
He grabs your waist, guiding you up to fully remove your bra, discarding it with your shirt. Before you lay back down, your hands are pulling at his shirt. He quickly lifts it over his head, tossing it aside, bringing you back into him, eager to feel your bare skin on his.
You bring his mouth to yours, feverishly kissing him as his hands continue feeling out your body. They travel lower and lower, grazing over the waistband of your pants. He glides over the fabric, moving to your thighs, squeezing the plush skin. You clench around nothing, craving to be filled.
He pulls away, eyes boring into your face as he gauges your reaction. His hand slowly trails up your leg, pressing into your covered heat. You close your eyes, taking your bottom lip in your teeth, holding back the sound that threatened to slip. A cocky smirk plasters on his lips as he works your bottoms down, leaving you bare as he pulls them off your feet.
He spreads your legs, admiring your glistening pussy on display just for him. The thought of you being just for him makes his cock throb with need. His fingers prod at your folds, your juices instantly drenching him with how aroused you are. Soft moans emit from your mouth as he slides his hand up and down your center.
"Need you inside me, please." You breathe, your hand latching onto his wrist.
"Are you sure?" He asks, eyeing you up and down.
"Please." You beg once more.
He nods, his hands immediately working his belt off. He unbuttons his jeans, pulling them down, along with his boxers. His hard cock bounces back up, throbbing for attention. Your mouth waters at the sight of him, your pussy clenching once again.
Matt scoots forward just a bit, getting between your legs with ease. He places his hand by your head as he hovers over you, holding his member in his opposite hand. He drags it through your folds, coating it in your arousal. He aligns himself with your sopping entrance, easily slipping in due to how wet you are.
"Oh fuck." You whine from the sensation, your eyes squeezing shut.
His breathing gets heavier as he slowly sinks deeper into you, filling you up so perfectly. Your hands grip his biceps as he bottoms out, feeling as if he sucked the air out of your lungs. Your pussy hugs around him so tightly, he's struggling to keep it together.
As soon as you adjust, he's slowly pumping in and out of you, pulling numerous moans from your lips. His strokes are deep and hard, yet slow and sensual.
"Been wanting to make this pussy mine for so long, fuck." He moans in a raspy voice as he continues thrusting into you.
He turns his head, kissing your wrist as your nails dig into his shoulder. He takes your opposite hand and intertwines it with his, squeezing hard. Euphoria overtakes your body with every thrust, eyes rolling into the back of your head from the feeling.
Your mouth falls open, lewd moans slipping from it as the pleasure builds. The knot in your stomach forms quickly with the way he's fucking into you so deliciously, leaving you clenching around him.
"Feels s-so good." You cry out, your face scrunching up in pleasure.
Your skin feels hot beneath his, it's almost hard to catch your breath. You feel a way you've never felt before.
"Tell me I make you feel better than anyone else, baby." He groans, snapping his hips into yours. "Say it."
You whine out from his words and his hard strokes, unable to form coherent sentences. "Feel better, oh my god. You, it's you. Fuck, I'm so close."
He moans at your words and continuous clenching around his cock, his hips sputtering from the feeling. He's been yearning for this exact moment for as long as he can remember, and it's better than he could've ever imagined.
"You're mine. All mine." He grunts with every thrust, driving you over the edge.
"Yes, yes, yes." You cry, as you come undone. "All yours, baby."
His mouth falls slack as he feels your juices pour out of you, producing a squelching sound with every pump. Your grip on his hand tightens as he continues fucking into you. He stares at your face, the way you furrow your eyebrows and bite your lip in overwhelming pleasure bringing him to the edge.
He lets out a guttural moan, shuddering as he empties his load into you, filling you up with his seed. He continues pumping, pulling out when it becomes too much for you both.
His hair slicks to his forehead as he leans back on his knees, watching his cum ooze out of you. The sight alone makes his dick twitch. Both of you are panting heavily, trying to compose yourselves from the exertion. You both lock eyes with goofy grins, instantly giggling with one another as if he wasn't just buried inside of you.
"I'm yours, huh?" You mumble with a dopey smile.
"And don't you fucking forget it."
a/n : shucksss, lazy ending i'm tired. not proofread, what's new? sorry for the wait, i lack motivation sooo much. anyways, hope it didn't disappoint. if it did, ig go cry ab it idk. smut one the poll bc we're all sluts, so that's what you got!
taglist : @luv4kozume @worldlxvlys @flowerxbunnie @sturniolowhore @creamoncreamoncream2 @lvrsparadise @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @tillies33ssss @mattsfavwh3re @its-jennarose @sophssturn @defnotayonna @ksskianshd @d0wnbad4chris @braindead4l @avasturn @knowingnothingnoel @luverboychris @remussbitch @stunza @rootbeerworshiper @dracoflaco @leah-loves-lilies @strnlsblog @ilovethesturniolotriplets @sturnolio-luvs @chrissgirlsstuff
422 notes · View notes
mariinaworld · 1 month
Text
It was supposed to be her Part.2
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Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader
Warning: fluff/angst
WC: +1,4
(English is not my first language so I apologize for any spelling mistakes)
A/n: Sorry this took a long time to come out😩
Summary: You realize you can't get married, not while you're still in love with your ex, Natasha Romanoff.
Masterlist Part.1
Don't you know how long you've been sitting at your kitchen counter, an hour? No, maybe two. To say that meeting with Natasha didn't move you would be a lie.
You can't stop thinking about the redhead, every moment, the kisses, the heated nights full of desires. Desires that were thrown away by her. She didn't care about her feelings when it was over with everything, so why do you feel so uncomfortable with your words that night?
Maybe it's because you wanted to say that you still loved her, that you still thought about her every time you were with your fiancé. That you still wanted her and damn, you get real.
You can't get married. Not with him.
Ryan has always been a caring man, he has always been respectful and kind, maybe something about him made you settle into stable love, but you don't love him, not like you love Natasha.
Canceling a wedding with just three days left seems crazy, but his story with the redhead has never been relatively normal.
Your thoughts are interrupted by a soft knock on your door, for a second you imagine Natasha on the other side, waiting for you, but your expectations are broken by the voice of the only person that you didn't want to find now.
Ryan.
“Baby? Please open the door, I know you're home." Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath you know you need to face it, Ryan is a good man and doesn't deserve to be with someone who loves someone else.
You take heavy steps towards the door, just wanting time to stop.When you open the door you look at him determined to put an end to it, Ryan deserved more and you couldn't give him that.
When he moves forward to give you a kiss you instantly turn your face away, he frowns, clearly confused, again he moves forward wanting to enter your apartment But again you stop him, there's no point in dragging this out, you don't want to give him any ray of hope, no matter how much it hurts you, you need to make him understand that there's no going back.
“What happened darling?" He asks, clearly upset and all you can do is hang your head, your eyes are burning and all you want is to cry.
“I can't go on with this" you say, still with your head down, a few lonely tears coming out of your eyes. "What?" Ryan asks confused.
“I said I can't go on with this. I can't go on with you" you say finally raising your head and looking at him. “Why?" That's all he asks I can see his disappointed look and I feel worse knowing it's because of me. "I don't love you, you deserve more than someone who doesn't love you.” You say trying to sound sure of your words but the tears falling down your cheeks don't help.
He just shakes his head, his eyes full of tears, something inside him always knew that you didn't love him, but he needed to clear up a doubt. "There's someone, right?" You look at him with pity and after a few seconds you shake your head positively, you don't trust your voice to say anything else.
And with that Ryan leaves you alone at that door, the weight of everything hits you again, there will be no wedding, you lost a great friend and everything for Natasha, but everything was always for her.
You enter your apartment again, planning to cry for the next three days and drown in the consequences of your terrible life decisions.
As planned, you spent three days regretting your life and your bad decisions, Wanda even came wanting to help you and make you cheer up but she couldn't.
Now you're sitting on your bed, with a tub of ice cream on your lap watching La La Land in a sweatshirt that's too big for you, but it was Natasha's so that's what you needed to wear.
You've often thought about calling the redhead, saying you're not going to get married and giving her another chance, but you've always been a coward, you just hope that fate will somehow resolve this for you.
You hear a knock on the front door and you ignore it thinking that if it's Wanda she'll probably open it herself, but the knocking started to get more frantic and you could kill Wanda for making you interrupt your movie.
You walk to the front door wearing shorts that are too small for you and a sweatshirt that Natasha left behind.
“Wanda, can't you open the door by yourself?" You say, opening the door and coming face to face with someone who wasn't the witch.
Natasha.
You are speechless, the redhead is standing in front of you with her chest rising and falling frantically as if she had run here, she looked beautiful, with black pants, a leather jacket, her hair tied into a braid, she looked as beautiful as the first time you two saw each other.
Before you could say anything the redhead immediately grabs you in a hug, she wraps her arms around your waist and hides her face in the crook of your neck, everything she does leaves you completely unresponsive, until you wrap your arms around her trying to give her some comfort, you could never deny her that. After a few minutes Natasha decides to speak
“You can't marry him, I know I'm the one who ended everything and I can't ask that of you, but I still love you and I can make you happy" You freeze, you didn't expect that, You broke up with Ryan for her and now you can't say anything?
The words disappear from your mouth and every second of silence kills Natasha's hopes, she came to you with one hope, that you still love her and give her another chance, That saying in the coffee shop made her realize that there was no way she would see you marrying someone else, it would kill her inside and she would have to fight for you, for your love again
And that's why she came to your door, a last attempt to make you give up everything for her, it may be a selfish desire on her part but she can't help it, nothing in your relationship with her it was normal.
Natasha realizes that maybe your silence is already an answer, that you are really going to get married and she was too late. Natasha slowly frees herself from you, already accepting defeat. Until you finally react and do the one thing you've been thinking about since you ran into her at the coffee shop.
A kiss.
You quickly grab the redhead's face and kisses you, a kiss full of longing and all the unspoken feelings for you. It takes Natasha a few seconds to return the kiss and when she does, it's as if the entire universe stops around you. Natasha deepens the kiss, running her tongue along your lower lip asking for passage, and all you do is melt in her arms like you did on so many nights of love with her.
When air became necessary, Natasha breaks the kiss but her hands are still wrapped around you, you don't say anything, you just look at each other and start laughing, there was nothing so funny, but something how familiar the kiss was, as if you had only been two hours without seeing each other and everything seemed as if nothing had happened between the two of you.
“I think I ruined your wedding" Natasha says still laughing at you. You just shake your head and put your hands on the back of the redhead's head, playing with her hair, the familiarity of it all making you let out a weak laugh.
“She's already ruined, I'm not getting married Nat, that night made me realize that all this wouldn't make sense if it weren't for you, I could never marry someone other than you." You say, feeling Natasha becoming more and more emotional
“I shouldn't have left that night without telling you I loved you, I let you go and now you could be married to someone else, I wouldn't stand for that Detka.” The redhead says hugging you again
“Let's try again Nat, no lies, let's make it work this time ok?" Natasha immediately shakes her head, she would do anything for you.
“I love you Detka, I don't want to lose you again." Natasha says looking into her eyes and you can see she is about to cry.
“You'll never lose me Nat, it's always been you.”
209 notes · View notes
wwinterwitch · 4 months
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buy me presents — joel miller
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summary: you and your ex situationship reunite at a christmas party
pairing: joel miller x fem!reader
word count: 3.1K
tags: age gap (mid 40s and mid 20s), no outbreak, you fell hard and didn't know he fell harder bc he's an idiot!, miscommunication, angst, awkward reunion, everything gets fixed at the end tho don't worry, tommy is featured
note: i've been listening to fruitcake non-stop and i had this little idea that turned into an entire fic. it was kinda shitty at first but i decided to give it a try anyway
reblog or comment if you enjoy please!
all masterlists | pedro pascal masterlist
You always thought that going after older guys meant having absolutely no problems when it came to maturity and commitment. Guys your age are so good at playing games, keeping you guessing, too afraid to make it official.
So, evidently, when you met Joel at his workshop you were over the moon. He was charming, incredibly handsome and single. You still remember his attractive smile and the way he'd lean way too close to you, offering to fix the piece of furniture that you showed up with that day in exchange for a nice dinner and your phone number.
Everything looked good in the beginning. He was a true gentleman, so sincere and attentive, and you were foolish enough to believe he actually considered you special enough to pursue a relationship with you.
In your defense, he really tricked you. Showing you pictures of his daughter, taking you out on countless dates, interested to know as much of you as possible, texting non-stop...it was like a dream come true. After many terrible relationships with pathetic and insecure little boys, you found a wonderful man willing to give you exactly what you were craving.
But then everything changed after seeing each other for almost four months. Because he'd always get super defensive whenever you asked him why you always had to meet at your apartment and never at his house. Or why he refused to introduce you to his family. Or why he kept introducing you to people that happened to see the two of you together as 'a friend of his'.
Tired of this uncertainty, you decided to confront him. It was a very messy conversation. You asked what you were, he said he didn't know. You asked if he had any intentions of asking you to officially be his girlfriend, he said he probably wouldn't. You cried, he didn't know what to do about it.
You kicked him out of your apartment that day and that was the last time you ever heard of him. No texts, no calls, no one waiting outside your apartment or showing up at your work with a well-deserved apology.
Were you just stupid for thinking he was into you the way you were into him? Did you get your hopes too high a little too soon? Was there something wrong with you? Were you overreacting?
Yes, no, whatever– you wanted someone to go all the way with you, thought it was Joel, and he turned out to be like every other guy you've met. It sucks, but you gotta move on. You've dealt with a lot of shitty men to know better than to suffer for one.
The heartbreak Joel caused soon turned into a mixture of disappointment and annoyance before it turned into nothing but an unpleasant memory. Soon enough, Joel Miller was out of your mind, and you were more than ready to jump right in into the dating world again. Maybe it was pathetic, but you still refused to lose hope that the right guy will show up in your life and change things for the better.
You kept your options open for a while, not wanting to immediately rush into something like you did with Joel. If any of these guys you're seeing want to keep you to themselves, they'll have to put that extra effort. You're just tired of always chasing after them.
A whole month went by and you never heard from Joel again, which was completely fine by you. He doesn't even cross your mind at this point. He's probably spending all his hours at his workshop, keeping his nights free for his no-commitment dates. And probably getting ready for the holiday season too.
Christmas has always been your favorite holiday. There's something about it that cheers you up like no other festivity. Maybe it's the decor, the food, the fact that it's everywhere you look...it's always been a magical time.
You also love the parties and gatherings around this time of year, so you immediately agreed to be someone's date to one of them. You met this guy a few weeks ago– three years older than you, tall, dreamy eyes and great in bed. There was no reason as to why the two of you couldn't have a good time at this little party...or so you thought.
He casually mentions who's hosting on the way there. A friend from work, he said while offering you a hand to help you out of his car. His good ol' buddy Tommy Miller.
Your smile practically drops at the mention of that name, immediately going back to that date at the bowling alley. Joel bought a large portion of nachos to share after you completely beat his ass at bowling (he totally let you win, he said), remembering the way he talked about a brother named Tommy.
But...surely this is all a coincidence. The universe couldn't possibly hate you that much, right? At one point you almost thought you were crazy for even thinking of the possibility of this friend being the brother. There has to be a million Tommy Millers out there. It's such a common name!
What are the odds of this actually happening? That you're really going to Joel Miller's brother's Christmas party? And even if you are, that doesn't guarantee that you'll see Joel there.
And why should you care? You haven't spoken in so long, he probably doesn't even think about you when he hears something that could potentially relate to you. He doesn't think about the chances of reuniting with you for longer than a second. He surely doesn't think about you at all! You should give him the same treatment.
Holding onto your date's arm, you walked inside the impeccably decorated apartment. Red and white everywhere you look, with a large table filled with various snacks, a lit fireplace that gives the room a much cozier look, and a Christmas tree standing tall on one of the corners of the living room.
Tommy Miller was at the entrance greeting the two of you and enthusiastically introducing himself to you. Nerves were starting to overtake you because shit, there's definitely some resemblance.
Still, you tried to ignore your racing mind, wanting to have a good time with this great guy who's glad to keep you close to him, introducing you to all his friends in a manner someone should introduce their date. You feel important next to him, like he's really trying to show you off. Something Joel failed to do.
Eventually, you were able to relax when you got to meet everyone at the apartment and realized Joel wasn't there. With a beer in hand and a polite smile on your face, you joined a conversation by the fireplace, talking amicably and genuinely thinking the night was safe.
That is, until you heard the doorbell.
You watched Tommy walking towards the door, immediately opening his arms wide to receive whoever just arrived. When the stranger leans forward for the hug Tommy was offering, your smile completely fades when you notice it was none other than Joel.
He walks inside the apartment and leaves his jacket hanging by the door, taking a quick look around. You immediately turn around, not wanting him to recognize you– yes, it was stupid because he'll sooner or later notice your presence, but maybe you can avoid the awkward encounter for a few more seconds.
It takes everything in you not to turn around again, putting your hand on your date's back as you lean closer to him, trying to seek any kind of comfort you possibly could. He immediately wraps his arm around your waist, inevitably making you smile. God, this guy really knows how to treat you exactly the way you want it.
Unfortunately, Joel reaches the group of people you were talking to. He starts greeting everyone until his eyes land on you, standing there completely speechless for a few seconds before a smile appears on his face.
He leans forward for a quick kiss on the cheek as a way to greet you, and you barely move away from your date to return the greeting, moving back immediately to refugee on the guy's side.
"You two know each other?" your date asks. You almost wanted to kill him.
You stay quiet, deciding to leave Joel the responsibility to answer. It's genuinely intriguing to see what he has to say.
"Uh, yeah..." he starts, clearing his throat. "I think...you took a coffee table to my workshop for a repair?"
Wow. Glad to see things haven't changed in the slightest! Of course you two just met each other for a little repair. Of-fucking-course! It's not like he woke up completely naked next to you on your bed more times than you'd like to admit out loud.
"Yes. Exactly," you faked a smile, agreeing with his statement.
That was pretty much the only thing you said to each other. After greeting everyone he quickly joined a completely different group to talk to (because it's obvious he couldn't handle being close to you for much longer). You actually appreciated that, making the task of ignoring him until you left that apartment just that much easier.
Things went downhill when your date had to go to the bathroom and you decided to get another beer from the kitchen. You didn't notice Joel following you, and by the time you did realize, he was standing in front of the exit, blocking it entirely.
"Oh, hey, workshop guy!" you greeted with fake enthusiasm, sarcasm dripping from your words.
You hear Joel sigh, and as if that didn't piss you off enough he decided to open his mouth. "Yeah, I figured you'd get upset."
"Then why did you say it?"
He raised a brow. "What, you wanted me to tell everyone– your date included, that we were seeing each other like a month ago?"
The kitchen was completely silent after that. Perhaps he had a point there, but it was impossible to deny you were still hurt by the way things ended and how poorly he treated you, so that last thing you'd ever do is admit he's right.
"I thought perhaps now that it's done, you wouldn't care about keeping it a secret anymore," you shrugged defensively.
He smiles softly, seeing right through you. "Perhaps I've just never been the type to kiss and tell."
Again, you didn't have much to say, so you just scoffed. "Whatever."
Much to your irritation, he laughs. A low, deep chuckle escapes him before he's looking at you up and down. "You look good."
"I know."
Another chuckle. "Of course you do," he sighs, the smirk on his face fading. "You always look fucking incredible."
You stand there like a complete fool, taken by surprise when you hear him say that. It sounds so...defeated? Is that even a thing? As you try to come up with an answer to that, you just look back at him with a lost expression.
"Is there a point to this conversation?" you eventually ask.
Now it's him who's looking back at you in complete silence. Unfortunately, you know him enough to know there's something in his mind and he's not telling you anything about it. He's hesitating, doubting, the engines in his brain moving faster than ever.
For a moment, you thought he'd say whatever random bullshit he can come up with in that very moment and be done with it. And you'd roll your eyes because you know that's not what he wanted to say, right before moving him away from the door so you can go back to the party.
But in a surprising turn of events, he doesn't do that. He looks at you with nothing but honesty, and you even catch the smallest glimpses of hope when he speaks. "Yeah," he answers your question. "I've missed you like crazy."
If you were speechless before, it's almost impossible to even remember how words work right now. Never in a million years would you've expected Joel Miller to confess he misses you. Not when it was you who was always trying to arrange dates. Not when it was always you the one remaining him you really liked him and him barely saying anything back.
Maybe he just needed a wake up call? Had to live that 'you don't know what you've got until it's gone' type of situation to realize how he feels?
Your heart beats faster as you process his words. He's missed you like crazy.
Still, despite feeling so fuzzy inside, you show none of it on the outside. "No," you promptly warn him. "No, no. We're not doing that."
"What?"
"That, Joel!" you exclaim, frustrated. "You can't break my heart and then say shit like that when we happen to meet by accident."
"Is it an accident?" he asks shortly after.
You chuckle sarcastically. "Oh, so is this some Christmas miracle? The festive season brought us together because of some nonsensical fate-thingy that's written up there in the stars?"
Joel looks slightly embarrassed, letting out another frustrated sigh. Before he can answer, you hear footsteps down the hall that leads to the kitchen so the two of you stay completely silent and turn around to see who it was. 
"Hey...oh," Tommy says, his initial smile fading when he notices the tension between the two of you. He quickly raises both of his hands in the air as he walks towards the fridge to grab two beers. "Don't mind me, I just wanted to grab these," he quickly explains.
When he turns back around, he immediately focuses on his brother. At first he looked very confused, like silently trying to ask him what the hell is going on, a small smirk appearing on his face just seconds later. Without another word, he quickly makes his way outside the kitchen to give the two of you much needed privacy. You could feel your cheeks heating up after witnessing that little exchange.
Focusing back on you, Joel decides to continue the conversation. "Okay, if you put it like that of course it sounds silly..." he mutters, scratching the back of his neck. "But, I don't know, I’d like to think something out there wanted us to meet again so I could make it right."
"No," you repeat. "You had a chance to make it right as soon as I kicked you out of my apartment. There was a chance to pick up your phone and give me a call or send me a text or...anything, Joel– fucking anything!"
There's a brief pause, and you're so glad to see he has nothing to say because boy, oh boy did you have things to say.
"You don't get to come back a month later and claim to miss me when you didn't even try to get me back. And you were a real piece of shit with me, by the way. You really made me think we had something special, just to treat me like it was nothing," you continue, visibly upset by the incredibly uncomfortable and difficult situation he's putting you in. "You made me feel...you made me feel like I was some stupid little girl you only wanted to get into bed with."
He looks absolutely horrified by your last statement, taking a few steps forward until he's standing right in front of you. The proximity makes it so much worse, forcing you to look down at your shoes. He gently grabs your chin to force you to look into his eyes, and for some reason you allow it. Maybe you were vulnerable, maybe you wanted to feel his touch. Maybe both.
"I promise you, that was not my intention at all," he immediately assures you in the most serious voice you've ever heard coming from him. "It was never just that. I was really falling for you."
You frowned, feeling so incredibly confused and frustrated. "Then why did you never show it?"
"Because I was dumb and I was scared," he reveals simply. It surprises you how honest he's being, how you don't have to ask more to get information out of him. "You were the first woman I started developing actual feelings for after my divorce, and at the time I thought things were moving too fast between us and...I didn't know how to handle it."
Joel can tell you're still not having none of it, so he decides to continue. "I really wanted to be with you officially, but I guess my insecurities got the best of me. I'm just an old man and you're gorgeous, and young, and...Jesus Christ, darling, you're the most amazing person I've ever met," he sighs again, hoping you'd understand what was going on in his head when he made the terrible decision of letting you go. "I didn't want to fuck it up or get my heart broken again...but I totally did fuck it up, and the worse thing is that I broke your heart in the process. I'll forever be sorry for that."
You were speechless yet again, and Joel didn't know how to take that. Are you going to say something nice or are you going to yell at him and tell him to go fuck himself? The uncertainty was eating him alive at this point.
Eventually, you speak up. "You did fuck it up," you agree. "Like, big time."
He sighs yet again, nodding. "Yes, I did. And I know I don't deserve it, but I'd like to have a second chance to prove to you just how much I care about you," he continues, not giving up this time. He couldn't live with himself if he managed to lose you twice. "To give you all that you deserve, to be there for you, to show the world how happy I am that you're my girl...I'd make it right."
Letting go of your chin, he moves his hand to the side of your face, anxiously waiting for an answer. The fact that you're not pushing him away is already a good sign, because he knows you're capable of throwing a beer bottle at him for saying what he just said.
You considered your options. There's a guy outside in the living room waiting for you. There's a bunch of other guys on your phone that'd run to your doorstep if you give them the chance. All of them have behaved better than Joel...but you can't fool yourself.
Even if you combine all of them, there's no way that everything you've shared with them can come close to what you experienced with Joel. You've never liked anyone so much before, and holy shit how badly you've missed him.
If he thought your proximity was a good sign, the soft smile that appears on your face makes him relax considerably, almost wanting to pull you in for a hug and start thanking you already.
"I guess you can take me out to dinner or something to prove you're sorry," you eventually reply, making him grin from ear to ear. You notice he's leaning even closer with the intention of kissing you, but you quickly stop him. "Don't even think about it. You'll have to earn the right to do that."
Joel silently agrees to that arrangement, immediately taking a step back from you, the smile on his face never disappearing. He doesn't care that you're not kissing him right now, not when you agreed to give him a chance. That's more than enough for him. The best Christmas gift he could've ever received.
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vallanoux · 3 months
Text
Valentines with the one and only King of Hell Himself, Lucifer!
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warnings: tooth rotting fluff.
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"the love letter"
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To the one I love (yes you!),
Can I just start off with saying how much I love you? Because I love you so, so very much! You do so, so many things for me that I feel as if I can never say "thank you" enough––or most certainly, I can never say "i love you" enough.
But you know what? I'll take any opportunity I can to show you just how much I love and appreciate you, and guess what?!! Valentines is the perfect way to do that!
I hope you can leave Saturday afternoon till evening open for me because I most certainly have plans for us. Just so you know what to expect (and to prove to you that I'm capable of not going overboard like last year-), here's the schedule, okay?
watch a cute lil' movie at pentagram city's one and only theater
dinner at your favorite place
and whatever comes after...? ;>
Sounds good?
And, just so you know, if I haven't made it clear enough, I love you, (name).
More than anything.
More than you'll ever know.
From your most beloved "short king",
Lucifer "Lulu" Morningstar
PS: I'll pick you up at 15:30!
PSS: I left some outfits in a basket along with the letter so we can match for the day
PSSS: I'm super excited, and I can't wait to see you
PSSSS: Today is our nth year being together
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"the cute lil' movie"
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Lucifer arrives right on time with a big, cute, dopey smile on his face
He brings you into a tight hug (that probably chokes you, but you let it happen anyway because you love Lucifer just as much)
"Aww, you decided to wear that outfit? Gosh, you look stunning. I knew you'd like that one!"
"Look at how good we match. We look amazing, don't we?"
After almost 10 minutes of Lucifer fussing over you, he finally teleports you both to the movie theater, and obviously, it's a romance
No doubt, you get the best two seats in the theater
When he watches movies, Lucifer loves to hold your hand. It makes him feel calm and happy.
Undoubtedly, Lucifer would always find a way to hold you one way or another.
Lucifer gets super emotionally attached when he watches the movie, and absolutely adores the characters
"They look so cute together? Oh my gosh, just kiss already...!"
"We should definitely try that together, that's such a good idea." (it's not-)
"I feel bad for him... I sympathize! (so and so) is so oblivious, just like a certain someone." He'd tease as he looks at you (and damn, ouch!)
If anything sad happens in the movie, he'd be bawling
He'd cling onto your hand and weep
"Why did that have to happen? That's so cruel! (name), tell me why...!"
"No, they don't deserve that. I think I'll have a word with the director..."
"Lulu, no-"
"-Lulu, yes!"
Watching movies (even if the movies themselves are absolutely terrible) are always wonderful experiences with Lucifer because of his strong reactions
Really, you love him to bits
After the movie finishes, with Lucifer being either a sobbing mess, or a very happy fella, it's now time for dinner
You cup his cheeks and squish them with your thumbs gently, and you place a kiss on his forehead. "Lulu, it's time for dinner, m'kay? Don't get too carried away by your emotions."
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"dinner at your favorite place"
Lucifer would reserve the whole restaurant just to have some time with you to talk about anything and everything
If you wanted, you could order every single thing on the menu and Lucifer wouldn't even flinch––nor would his wallet
"Oh, are you hungry? I should've brought some snacks for you to enjoy at the theater."
"Eat as much as you want, dearheart. I wouldn't want you leaving with an empty stomach."
Yes, Lucifer uses dearheart (a more old timey version of sweetheart)
As the two of you eat, you'd talk about anything and everything really
About how your feeling, how the past year has been and future plants (while you tell everything to lucifer, and vice versa, it's just nice to set some future goals or check in on how the other is doing)
Lucifer, if you'd give him the pleasure of being fed, would definitely enjoy it
"For me?" His eyes would sparkle as he takes a bite. "Thank you."
Lucifer would definitely be the type to eat anything you make or give to him and say it tastes super delicious (although it might not fit his tastes sometimes)
When dinner is over, he takes you home.
What happens after is totally your choice ;>
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a/n: i do apologize if the headcannons are bad! i don't usually write headcannons.
also if luci seems OOC, i apologize for that too lol. i just can't help but see him as an overly excited, emotional, dorky S/O that's always a ball of excitement (much like charlie)
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cntloup · 2 months
Text
Fem!Reader fluff, mention of love making, allusion to sex
Part 1 | Part 2
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It's a sunday morning. The sun shines through the kitchen window and reaches your profile, seeming like a halo around your head. Your eyebrows are furrowed and your eyes focused on the task at hand. You flip the pancake and feel a pair of big burly arms wrap around your torso from behind, "Good morning, lovie!" he breathes into your ear, his gruff morning voice sending shivers through your body. "Good morning, Si!" you mutter as you turn around to place a kiss on his lips. "You look beautiful today... as you do everyday... you're always beautiful, dove!" he rambles as he peppers kisses on every part of your pretty face, making you giggle. "Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes. I made coffee too." "Perfect! Thank you, love." he says as he takes a seat at the table. You place his plate of pancakes with chocolate syrup and a cup of coffee in front of him. He nods gratefully as you seat down. You talk about some new events happening at work and he listens, occasionally asking questions or making sarcastic comments about your annoying coworkers. He stares at you in awe, wondering how he got so lucky. You both spend the rest of the day in each other's arms. He makes love to you, softly cooing praises into your ear as he brings you to a state of pure euphoria. You lazily plump down on the couch watching trash tv and making fun of the awful people on the shows, laughing your asses off. You stare at him in awe, wondering how you got so lucky. He snaps his fingers in front of your face, shaking you out of your trance. "Hey, what is it?" he asks, "You've been acting weird lately!" "What? Nothing, just thinking about... stuff." you ramble nervously. "Is there something wrong?" he questions worriedly. "No! It's just about work. I'm sorry I've been acting weird. You don't have to worry about it." you respond. Thank god he doesn't pry any further and only adds "I'm here if you need me. With anything. And I mean anything. If someone is bothering you-" "No, Si! No one is bothering me. I don't need you to murder anyone either. Just stressing about work. Too much pressure." you lie terribly and he looks at you through narrowed eyes but lets it slide. As night falls, you're curled up in bed together as you both have your books in hands and read peacefully in a comfortable silence. But your focus is on something else. Should you pop the question right now? Do it casually and get it over with. No, he deserves a proper proposal. You finally decide on the latter. "Hey!" his voice rattles you out of your thoughts. "What?" you ask, looking up at him. He's starting to get suspicious. You have to do it sooner than planned. You can’t take it any longer. "I asked if you wanted to sleep." he replies, "I'm starting to get worried, love. Just tell me that you're ok." You cup his cheeks in your hands and whisper "I'm ok, Si. No need to worry." and kiss him as you straddle his lap. You both end up panting heavily and giggling, bodies tangled together by midnight.
It's a saturday night. The moonlight shines through the branches of cherry blossoms and reaches you, standing amidst the trees in the garden, making a dreamy scene. You fidget with the zipper of your jacket and fumble with your fingers nervously as you wait for him. He finally arrives, in a suit, looking handsome as ever. "Hi, lovie." he greets you, kissing your lips lovingly. "Hey, Si." you respond, taking in his beautiful features alight by the moon. You take his hand in yours and guide him to the table. You both take your seats beside each other and start chatting about everything and nothing, unable to take your eyes and hands off each other, as the waiter places your orders in front of you. After dinner, you go silent, grab your purse in your shaky hands and pull out the small black box. His eyes widen and his mouth hangs open as you lock eyes with him. "Simon Riley,... you met me at my worst" you chuckle nervously, "and pulled me out of the dark abyss I was in. You brighten my skies every day and make me laugh with your awful dad jokes" you remark, making him laugh as tears start to well up in both your and his eyes, "Do you want to be a dad? You've already got the jokes down... ok, that's a discussion for another time." You both chuckle again, "Fuck! I'm really terrible at this. I didn't prepare a speech and decided to wing it. I'm so sorry." he nuzzles your cheek, wiping away your tears as he pulls you in for a kiss, reassuring you that it's ok. "I'm forever grateful for everything you've done for me. I love you. Everything about you. Everything that you are. Your light and your darkness. You're the love of my life and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." you continue, "Simon Riley, will you marry me?" you finally ask as you open the box and hold it in front of him. You're both sobbing at this point. "Yes!" he gets the word out and pushes his lips onto yours, kissing you passionately, both your feelings for each other poured into the kiss. You take his hand in yours and put the ring on his finger. "I'm all yours, love." he murmurs against your lips, "And I'm all yours, Si."
comments/reblogs are greatly appreciated ♥
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periprose · 9 months
Note
Okay I gotta request something JUST HEAR ME OUT
Black Cat!Reader trying to tell Tasm!Peter she's Black Cat while he tries to tell her that he's Spider-Man at the same time. Queue up Peter being baffled, while reader just doesn't believe him lol
Also I am loving Florence, it's so good and rich, I'm still only on chapter three but I want to kiss your Peter senseless- he's such a sweetheart🫶 Also I love youuu🥰
AHHH bby i love this idea and I love you!! (also thanks for the support on florence)
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/
Secrets are difficult to reveal.
They're especially terrible when you're telling something so tumultuous to your best friend, something that could either make him judge you severely or run away from you.
How do you confess that you're a thief? An villain turned anti-hero?
Even worse, Peter is someone you really love. Someone you know is too good for you- he would never feel the same way. But that's why you have Spider-Man, right?
You always knew it wasn't always going to be fun and games to be Black Cat. To be the very symbol of bad luck- it's a bad premonition.
You stare in the mirror. Peter will be here any second- he always climbs up the fire escape into your apartment's bedroom, and you told him you had something important to say.
There's a knock at your window, and you turn a little too abruptly.
Peter watches from the outside. He has a tentative smile, but he can see that you're worried, and you make the conscious effort to relax your face.
Peter himself is worried. He's about to confess something very important to someone very near and dear to him- he's Spider-Man, and not just that- he's having a sort-of affair with Black Cat.
He doesn't even know how it happened. First she was stealing wealth from banks, then a few months later she came with him with the notion to be good, and Peter always believes in someone redeeming themselves... but that doesn't mean she had to be so goddamn hot, all black leather and white fur, and Peter's just a horny dude who could not help but kiss back when she made a move on him yesterday.
And it was hot, it was good for him to take out some very human emotions by making out with her, but it wasn't everything. It wasn't you, and now he feels incredibly guilty. So he wants to come clean. Peter wants to let you know the whole truth, and even if that means you'll never like him again- Peter will never act on his unspoken feelings for you- he knows you deserve to know.
"Hey." You let Peter in, and he immediately walks in with an air of anxiety, hands already shaking as he paces around. "You good?"
"Uh, yeah. Yeah." Peter shakes his head immediately. "No, not really. We need to talk."
"Oh." You give him a look as you sit on your bed. "You have something to say, too?"
Peter nods, and you think it can't be nearly as bad as what you're going to tell him.
"Okay. Let me go first- I've been hiding something from you." He starts, but you shake your head. "I haven't been around."
"I haven't been around, Peter." You tilt your head at him. "I... I haven't been telling you the truth."
"Just wait. I'm trying to tell you something important." Peter insists, wanting you to know the truth but you keep going.
"I'm a bad person, Peter." You murmur, and Peter stops, interest piqued. "I've been misusing our friendship- you wouldn't want to be friends if you knew my past."
"No. That's not true." Peter sits down next to you on your bed, feeling that he should comfort you before potentially breaking your heart. "I'll always be your friend. Tell me what's going on."
"Don't sound so sure." You grimace at him. "I... I'm Black Cat."
"Huh?"
"I know, it's so terrible. I stopped with all the stealing and killing, but... I'm still not sure if my so-called good deeds are enough to forgive me." You lean over your legs. "I don't... I work with Spider-Man every now and then, too."
"But-" Peter tries to interject, and you keep going anyways. He's incredibly baffled- it's not that you don't match the size of Black Cat, it's just that he's sure he would've recognized your mouth under her mask. He's fantasized about your lips long enough.
"He kissed me yesterday." You admit, and for some reason it feels like a slap in the face to say, even if you know that Peter doesn't actually like you like that. "And I've always liked you, Peter, so I just have to get this off my chest, because I feel so terrible. I'm sorry."
Peter is snickering.
"What?" You shove him. "I'm trying to tell you about my actual, serious pain, Peter, and you're just laughing-"
He loves this. He can actually be with you, no questions asked, and you have to be Black Cat- who else would know that Spider-Man kissed you? Peter feels a little bad that you're clearly agonized about it still, and he is laughing, but he can't help it.
"I was trying to tell you the same thing." Peter shrugs, as you hang onto his every word. "Okay, not the same thing. But that I'm Spider-Man."
You raise your eyebrows. "Really?"
"What do you mean, really? What's so shocking?" Peter asks, somewhat affronted, still finding it funny. "Do I not look like I have Spider-Man's build?"
"No, no. It just... feels a little too convenient." You give him a pitiful glance. "Maybe you could prove it?"
"Wow." Peter shakes his head, stifling a small smile. "Why would I lie?"
"No, Peter, it's not that you would lie. It's just... it's too obvious of a happy ending for me, and I-" You wince. "I don't normally have those."
"Oh." Peter knows about your past, your unhappy origin story, and he doesn't want to say anything to negate that truth.
So he simply thwips out a web towards your desk, planting your water bottle against the wall, and you don't look too surprised, although you do inhale.
"So that means- I was working with- and you-" You try to make a coherent sentence. "We... we kissed?"
"Tell me if this feels the same." Peter murmurs, half jokingly, mostly serious, and he pulls your face up in the same way you remember he did yesterday.
Knowing that you were the one in that leather black suit with the white trimming stirs something more inside him- yeah, he loves you and he's so glad to have you here now- but it makes yesterday even hotter in hindsight.
No mask this time. Nothing to get in the way of you dragging your fingers through Peter's hair as he presses his lips against yours, not hesitant at all. His lips are firm, plying against yours, and he inhales in a way that screams that he's wanted to do this for a while- even if he kissed you a few days ago, it wasn't like this- and it has you understanding he doesn't want to be gentle. He wants to finish what he started.
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tvx6000 · 4 months
Text
☆ talk to me
genre: fluff, angst (?), hurt/comfort
pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader
warnings: anxiety, cussing, conflict(?), crying blah blah
wc: 1770
t-note: i don't mean to make this a trend in my posts.....but i hate this fic lollsloslso TT first and foremost it's completely not my style of wirting, capitalization and all. but I found this unfinished with a completely different storyline and though hmmm this could be worth posting. ngl the quality of writing decreases as you read i feel like :3 the end is kind rushed (?), i couldn't figure out how to resolve it. please send me any feedback you have, as well as any requests!!
You both were at an award show. Hyunjin had on this gorgeous jet black suit, decked out in YSL accessories. His hair and makeup were done special that night, the stylist spending a few extra moments on each feature, and you honestly didn’t think you'd ever been more in love with him.
You were both sitting at a small table, while the rest of the boys were socializing with other idols. You both had just been given the green light on announcing your relationship, and Hyunjin wasted no time. Probably minutes after he received the call, he went straight to twitter to post a selfie of you two,
“my muse :)”
It’d been a few weeks since then, and soon enough came your first outing as an official couple, this award show. Your anxiety was at an all time high – though when was it not – and Hyunjin had been extra attentive and sweet to you all day, your happiness and comfort being most important to him.
But soon enough, you couldn’t stop the pit of guilt laced bile forming in your stomach. This was his special night, and here you were acting like a baby. I mean, really Y/n? You couldn’t have waited till-
“Baby?”
Suddenly your mind went silent for a second, and you realized your lover was trying to bring you back.
“Your eyes look cloudy baby what’s wrong? Do you need to step out for a minute?”
The pit starts to bubble extra hard.
Trying your best to put on a smile – although it comes out a little wobbly – “Of course not! I’m fine honey, just a little jittery waiting for the awards to be announced.”
It was a decent lie, but the execution was terrible and you both knew it.
“Babe…….” He questioned with his eyebrows raised skeptically.
“I’m fine Jinnie, I promise.”
His shoulders seemed to slack a little at that last part, though you could tell he was still on edge.
“Okay….I’m gonna go get us some water, don’t hesitate to come find me if anything at all happens. I mean it.” He stated sternly
“Cross my heart hope to die” You replied with a soft smile
And as heavy as your heart was, you still couldn’t help the way your eyes lingered on him as he walked away.
Wow…….He’s really yours.
Soon enough, it came time for the awards. Hyunjin was back by your side, the other boys in seats right next to him. His hand holding yours as the awards were announced.
“And Fan Favorite Boy Group of the Year goes to……… JYPE’s Stray Kids!!”
You couldn’t help but break into the widest grin you’d ever smiled as the boys stood up to go accept their award. 
They were so talented, and they’d worked relentlessly so this win didn’t come as a surprise to you. They deserved it.
But what did come as a surprise to you, is when Hyunjin was about to walk away, he turned, leaned down, and planted a firm kiss right on your mouth. Now in the moment, you acted natural, kissing back and smiling then waving him off. But as soon as you were certain there were no cameras on you. Your smile dropped and your heart started racing. 
Oh god, what would everyone think? They’re gonna talk about how unprofessional that was, and how the boys don’t deserve that award. Fuck this is all my fault, I shouldn’t have let him kiss me. I shouldn’t be here.
And unfortunately, right as you got up to excuse yourself, you didn’t notice the boys giving their individual thank you’s, and Hyunjin watching you run off with a look of hurt, worry, and betrayal plastered on his face.
To anyone else, your thoughts sounded completely irrational, but anxiety isn’t rational. And they took over your legs before you could think about it any further.
You don’t know how long you’ve been in the bathroom. It feels like it’s been a few minutes, but as you hear several rounds of applause, and soon enough rapid frantic knocking on the door, you know you’ve been in there far too long.
“Baby? Y/n? Babe please I know you’re in there?........Baby what happened?”
Fuck. You don’t know. You’re suddenly hit with a huge wave of humiliation and guilt. You know you couldn’t bear to look him in the eye. So with two quick swipes under your eyes, you swing the door open to see your Jinnie standing there, eyes glazed over, and out of breath – did he run here?
“Oh my god Y/n you had me worried fucking sick. What happened baby? You just ran off and I-”
“I’m fine Jinnie.”
You stated as firmly as you could in the moment. You felt a sharp pain in your chest as a look of hurt flashed across his face. You walked straight past him and beelined for the door you all came through. You just wanted to get home.
You soon heard harsh footsteps behind you, you could tell he was angry. Fuck.
You soon saw Leeknow waiting by the limo, and as you approached he shot you a look of concern and confusion, almost wordlessly asking you ‘are you okay?’. You mustered up a small smile of reassurance and climbed into the limo. This was going to be the longest ride of your life.
The whole way home, Hyunjin wouldn’t even look at you. Though you were trying to exactly grab his attention, his expression stayed the same the whole ride. Nonchalant. Too nonchalant  for your liking. You know you deserved it but he looks so calm, you’d think nothing would’ve happened at all. And suddenly, the dull ache in your heart became a sharp, shooting pain.
You soon made it home, rushing out the car with a hasty goodbye and jogging to your door. Not even bothering to drop anything besides your shoes at the door, you rushed upstairs to the bathroom.
There’s no way Hyunjin would wanna talk to you right now…so what should you do? Maybe if you go to bed quick enough, you can sleep this all away, as if it was a bad dream. So that’s what you begin to do.
You strip out of your bordering uncomfortable dress and take the pins out of your hair, and get into the shower.
As you let the water run over you, you began to think. 
How can I apologize for this? A regular “Sorry, I love you” can’t fix this. No, Hyunjin deserves better than that. He deserves better than me. God I hope he doesn’t break up with me, I don’t know what I’d do. He’s been really quiet, and I haven’t heard anything upstairs. Oh no what if he left? What if-
You hastily finish washing and all but leap out of the shower. After haphazardly drying off and throwing on a (his) t-shirt and underwear, you quickly pad downstairs.
As you descend the stairs you notice the silence that has taken over your home. It’s almost as if you're the only one home, and that scares you.
“Jinnie?” you almost whisper into the space.
Nothing.
Your heart starts to race and you feel like crying,
“Hyunjin?” you call as you roam throughout the downstairs.
He’s not here. You start to panic, looking frantically around for your phone, and just as the first tear falls and you start to bolt upstairs, you hear the door unlocking.
You spin around, and there he is. When did he change?
As he walks in with a bag and takes off his shoes, you freeze. You don’t know if you were ready for this conversation yet.
“Hi” He mumbles as he sets everything down on the counter.
“Where were you?” You force out, the weight in your chest making it hard to speak.
“I picked up some food for dinner, since neither of us-” He stops as he looks up at you, hair pulled back so he has a clear line of sight.
“What is it? Why are you crying?”
“I’m sorry.” you say with a wobbly voice
“I’m really really sorry I don’t know what my problem was earlier”
He stares at you for a long moment. Or maybe it was just for a second, you aren’t completely present.
“It’s okay baby. I was upset earlier but now I just wanna make sure you’re fed and figure out what’s wro-”
“No Jinnie I really mean it I don’t know what was wrong earlier but I swear to you it will never happen again” You said through heaving breaths- wait, heaving? When did you start crying?
“Hey hey hey baby it is fine. I promise you I’m not upset. Something was obviously wrong and I don’t blame you. At all.”
He swiftly moved toward you and wrapped you up in a hug.
“I know you get anxious sometimes, and it can cause miscommunication. But that’s why I need you to talk to me baby. Please. I know life can be a lot. Especially when my career is involved, but I need to know that you know you are my top priority always. And all I want is for you to feel happy and safe. So when I know that you don’t but you won’t let me help you, I start to feel a little helpless.”
He pauses and brings a hand to cradle the back of your head,
“Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done, and I like to say it comes naturally. Like I was born to do it. But unfortunately, I can’t read your mind. So please. Help me help you baby. Let me help you”
He presses multiple kisses to the top of your head and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. You start to sob. Heavy, achy, cries but he can make out the few words you're saying.
“I love you Jinnie I’m sorry, I’ll always tell you what’s wrong I promise” You say punctuating with a long loud sniffle.
He squeezes you, “My sweet girl….I love you so much more”
He pulls away, “Let’s eat before it gets cold”
As he begins to walk and you follow, he dramatically sighs,
“I must say though…..I gave quite the speech…can’t believe you missed it baby”
As he looks up from the food, he sees your eyes tearing up once again,
“Oh my goodness baby, I was joking I’m sorry” He says as he pulls you in for another hug
He kisses your cheek and breathes out, “What will I do with you baby?”
thank u for reading :3
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waynewifey · 8 months
Text
aporia — b.w
part one : dear mr. wayne
part two: aftermath
part three: aporia
epilogue
sumary: aporia suggests “an impasse”, a knot or an inherent contradiction found in any text, an insuperable deadlock, or “double bind” of incompatible or contradictory meanings which are “undecidable”. [reference]
pairing: battinson/bruce wayne x reader
genre: drama & romance
warnings: mental health struggle, miscarriage, car crash, a lot of internal dialogue
word count: 2k
A/N: the more i write, the more i put myself in this story. i feel like this ‘you’ is so complex i can’t help but try to explain her further. part four will be bruce’s perspective on all of this + an epilogue. i’m so grateful for the amazing feedback given on the last two parts and for the new followers, thank you so so much. i hope you enjoy this. (also this gif??? HELLO???)
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GOTHAM. USA.
— bargaining.
the uncomfortable silence makes you want to scream. she told you that was a normal reaction and they couldn't get rid of those moments, they were essential for your self reflection. the problem was being alone with your thoughts, even for just one minute. they keep deciding you won't recover any time soon. everyone keeps holding you like a cracked vase. even negligence was better than being put under the microscope.
"i don't know what you want me to say" you respond, your gaze anxiously shuffling between the objects in the room. the woman's eyes, however, don't ever leave your face. she holds that journal like a scientist analysing a mutation. like you're some weird thing.
"you should say whatever you feel like saying." that's what she always answers. dr. quinn was extremely stoic, even for a therapist. you still liked her, though, because her pragmatic approach helped you shift your point of view and see yourself from an outside perspective, which made you want to help yourself. after weeks of feeling extra irritable, still trying to forgive your husband for lying to you, you realised maybe everything was too much for you to handle by yourself. you wanted to go back to the real world but before that, you had to do this. a quick chat with your psychiatrist and he gave you the contact to harley quinn.
"i think i've been way too mean to bruce" your confession has her nodding, like that observation had been made sessions before and she was waiting for you to realise that. "he's been so supportive and helpful, but sometimes words just fly out of my mouth and i don't even mean them"
"do you think it's easier to blame him than to come to terms with what actually happened?" you can't answer, because this was all you've asked yourself lately. you were a coward, hiding behind his suffering to prevent confronting yours. it's easy to curse him, to reject him, but it's not what you want to do. lately it feels like you don't have any control over your emotions and actions. you thought maybe if you pushed away the last person that still cared for you, you could disappear in your loneliness and finally stop hurting. "y/n you've been through something terrible. the kind of thing we never think it's gonna happen to us. i know it doesn't feel real, but you have to face it that it is. the thing about trauma... you have to keep living with it. you have to keep going, because it doesn't go away. but this is your life and you don't get to stay on standby. you hurt the people you love because it's better than hurting yourself. you told me you feel bad about it, so why won't you change?"
why won't you? you don't even know where to start. it felt comfortable living in sorrow forever. horrible, but comfortable. again, it was in fact easier to blame him than to accept this was reality. but he's right outside, been waiting for you for two hours, as he has done twice a week for over a month. you weren't being fair to him. he didn't deserve this. dr. quinn sees the defeat in your eyes and sighs in a mission accomplished type of breath.
"think about this, okay? we'll talk on friday." you nod, as if you weren't already overthinking it.
bruce sees you before listening to you. he's created the habit to stay in the waiting room with headphones in, blasting loud music. he didn't want you to feel like he was prying on you. he also didn't want to listen anything you had to say about him. you had the right to be mad at him, given everything that had happened. he knew you didn't mean it when you bomb dropped the word 'divorce' every now and then. it would take you some time to get back to normal and he wouldn't rush you.
you walk to the car quietly and get into the driver's seat. he agreed to let you drive to and from therapy. the office was actually in dr. quinn's house, a little bit on the country side of the city, if you could call it that. it was a 50 minute drive with no traffic, roads empty enough for you to drift off in you thoughts. he watches you drive, eyes brightening up a little more everyday. he realised that trying to shield you from the world wasn't going to work out. you need to learn how to be on your own. he needs to learn how to care for you while away.
"i'm sorry," you caught him off guard, observing the curves of your face. he frowns at the unexplained sentence. you glance at him but look back at the road. "for the way i've been acting. for pushing you away. for being too complicated. i know you're trying to help… thank you for staying."
"darling, of course. for better or for worse, remember? i'm never leaving you. we're getting through this, together. and don't you worry about me, i'll be okay when you are too, alright? you're doing great, i can see how much you're working towards it." he holds out a hand for you and you take it, intertwining your fingers. his calloused palms are softer now, courtesy of the months without batman-ing. they still embrace yours entirely and warm the cold tips of your fingers.
"i love you" the sweetness of that feeling dominates your tastebuds and it's almost like the day you started dating. that innocent type of love that consist of the pure enjoyment of each others company. however, your attempt to savour the moment is ruined by a shape in your peripheral eyesight.
"i love you too" bruce's voice is muffled by the anxious thoughts taking over your mind. the panic starts to overflow. he notices your body getting stiff and the wheel looking loose on your hand. your breathing lost it's rhythm to creaking gasps. there's something wrong. your eyes are frozen in a vehicle. he's seen this van before. maybe not this one, but an identical one, in a security camera tape in court. it looks exactly like the one that took you. "baby, hey, hey. i'm right here." you don't pay any mind to the man beside you. you can't, not when your instincts are telling you to run. not when you can feel the gun getting knocked on your head over and over again. bruce is saying something. the tears are blurring your sight. this is too much.
he's calling you screaming at this point, tears are rolling down your cheeks and you still haven't looked away from the van. there's a bump coming up, the car is dangerously fast and you're not driving at all. he goes for the wheel but isn't quick enough. the tires wiggle, going in their own direction. the car changes lanes, getting in the wrong way of the street. another car is coming and the impact isn't light. your head is thrown forwards, the airbag covering your face. the windshield shatters and little pieces of glass get stuck in your hair. the crash isn't too bad, you're both still awake and only the front has been smashed. but you get out hyperventilating, falling onto the ground and weeping.
bruce gets out as well, only a scratch on the forehead. he has to kneel on the dirt to hold you up. for a while, he doesn't say anything. the other driver is standing, phone in the ear. he's also fine. the cars were the only damage. two other drivers stop by, offering help. you wish he could help you, but it seems as if there's something inherently wrong with you.
— depression.
the weeks following the accident were harsh. it took a while to get you believing in recovery again. you still weren't sure. somehow there was press at the site, so pictures of you crying next to a car crash made it to the papers. there's minor commentary online about you faking it for your husbands popularity. most of the netizens feel desperately sorry for you and have painted you to be their new princess diana, the comparison seems wild to you.
you only go online every three days or so, because you can't resist the urge to know what bruce hasn't been telling you. jokes on you, he's actually been a lot more transparent lately. you agreed that the batman would show up to the sentence of edward nashton, to pressure the jury with his presence. it worked and the criminal got life without parole. the lawyers said that your public presence impacted on his trial, as 20 years was the standard. you were just glad he wouldn't do that to anybody else ever again. the case got national and your family from outside the state, that you not-so-kindly kept in the dark, started making contact, victimising you all over again.
but things were getting better, gradually. it had been almost a year and it felt like that chapter of your life was finally being finished. you were trying to get your life back, including your driver's license. it was suspended for a while after the accident, so now you had to submit a bunch of medical records to prove that you were mentally fine to drive again. that's how you found yourself in bruce's home office, searching everywhere for your documents. you could've asked him where he put it, but he had just fallen asleep in the living room and you didn't want to disturb him.
in one of the desk's drawers, you find a folder with the local hospital logo on it. you open it, shuffling through the papers you've seen before. only one stands out, with "ob/gyn" on the top of the sheet. you wonder if there's anything helpful there. your eyes start reading the words one by one, listing the examinations they've done on you. the subject changes abruptly.
the ultrasound analysis reports the miscarriage of an unknown pregnancy to the patient's spouse.
you feel like you're about to throw up. the world starts spinning as you force yourself to continue to read.
the fetus was estimated to be in the development stage of the beginning of the second trimester. the miscarriage was most likely a result of several mechanical trauma. dilation and curettage was performed with the patient in a medically induced coma.
you try to remember to breathe in and breathe out just like dr. quinn taught you. you expect the tears but they don't come out. the panic doesn't come. it's suddenly so quiet. it's not like a hole has been punched through your chest, it's like you have no chest at all. it's like you don't even exist. you somehow sit down, your body does. you feel as if it's moving on it's own and you're just watching from afar. your thoughts sound so distant, so irrelevant. you can only think of the baby that had once been inside of you and you didn't even realised. you didn't have the time to love him. you've had him there, right there, the thing you wanted the most in the world and he was taken from you. everything was taken from you.
if a tree falls on a forest, and there's no one around to hear, does it still make a sound? it felt like your fall was silent.
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tiajk · 6 months
Text
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Zoro & Luffy (OPLA) reacting to you having severe daddy issues
A/n: Sorry guys i Felt a little angsty today and i put a little too much of my daddy issues into this lmao
Masterlist
Headcannons version (Not ready yet)
Plot: Basically reader is stressing about going back home because of her father because he's a shit head
Warnings; Terrible father, Anxiety attacks, Cursing,
LUFY; He knows a little bit more about your past than the rest; he's your captain; he takes that as his responsibility. So when he saw your entire expression change when nami said the next place they would dock was your home island he was worried . He wanted to talk to you about it but Usopp needed his attention.Later’ he told himself that he'd go into your room. Later he actually arrived when you heard a sudden knock at your door it caught you by surprise. When you opened it you expected to see nami or sanji but not Luffy he had a plate in his hand ‘Damn I missed dinner’. You looked at luffy in the eye and he had his serious expression “{Name} Could we talk?”. your heart drops to your stomach, you had prayed that no one would ask you that 4 letter question, you created your throat “Mhm- yea come in” He takes slow footsteps as he looks around your room looking for a place to set down the food he settled for the nightstand. He takes a seat on your bed while patting the space next to him. You go but reluctantly “What’s the problem captain” Luffy not one for beating around the bush and he wouldn’t do it right now “Is there something in your hometown that you fear {Name}?” You feel tears try to escape your eyes when you blink rapidly. You think about lying but it's Luffy he would find out anyways “Yes their is' '. He perks up at this “Well whatever it is i'm all ears.” so you spill everything along with you crying in the process. When you finished everything there were two things on Luffy's mind: How he was gonna kill this bastard and you didn't deserve any of that. you except luffy to say something but he doesn’t he use uts his straw hat onto you and hugs you and you basically jump into his arms and cry some more and he doesn’t complain he knows you need this and who is he to take this away from you “Shit i got my tears all over your shirt” After you separate from the hug “It’s ok i have more” You smile at him and he returns the favor. He gets off your bed and walks to the door “wait where are you going?” “Telling nami that we need to change where we’re docking”
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ZORO; He never really knew about your past no one on the crew did. So when he found you crying in your room trying to stay silent it broke his heart. He didn't say anything as you tried to wipe your tears away from your red eyes. He just closed the door behind him and sat besides you in the corner of your room. He saw that you were shaking uncontrollably. He doesn't do emotions well but he would learn for you. He noticed you tried to speak but your voice but nothing went out “You don’t have to say anything {name}”. you looked at him in the eyes for the first time since he saw you “Thank you” Your voice was lower than a whisper only letting his ears hear it. You try to stand but you do it too quickly causing you to fast it causes you to fall back but zoro catches you “Let’s get you sat down ok” He carried you bridal style onto your bed laying you down gently. He goes to leave but you grab his wrist “Dont go please” He sees you silently pleading in your eyes so he stays he crawls into the bed with you he has you lay your head on his chest “Ro can I tell you what happened” “You don't have to” “I just need someone to talk to about it” He puts his full attention on you nothing else has his attention. So when you tell him everything His heart is hurting but angry No human deserves any of that “Do you feel better?” You nod at him “But tired” He gently grabs your face making you look at him “Sleep I’ll be here when you wake up” In zoro’s mind he was gonna kill that asshole
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writer-freak · 1 year
Text
male Valorant agents walking in on you changing (gn reader)
Characters: Yoru ,Chamber, Sova, Phoenix, Cypher
Warnings: gn reader, headcanons, can be read as romantic or platonic I think, characters walking in on you, mentions of reader being shirtless or just in underwear, english isn't my first language, probably ooc,
I just got into Valorant just a few days ago I still need to get to know the characters a bit better so this could be ooc but I wanted to post it anyways I will probably also do a version for the female agents if people would like to read that Inspired by some random tiktok I saw about horror icons walking in on you
Comments, likes and reblogs are appreciated 🖤
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Yoru
He just tends to forget to knock 
Normally that isn't so terrible because you're just in your room resting or something like that
But this time was different
You just came back from a mission, and sweat completely through your clothes
You just wanted to get them off as quickly as possible before taking a well-deserved shower
Imideatly after walking into your room and closing ou door, you started stripping out of your clothes
Yoru was already searching for you earlier before hearing that you were on a mission
When he saw you close your room door so he went over
When he opened the door he was greeted with the sight of you taking off your shirt
Flustered Yoru incoming
You were also embarrassed but you couldn't say anything because he quickly closed the door again
He shouted through the door "Lock the door next time!"
You could still hear how flustered he was and that made you giggle 
You retorted "Maybe you should learn to knock" 
Then finally getting your shower
Chamber
In the Vp, there were occasional company parties
Some fancy events were people had to attend as a cover for the Vp
Today it was your job to attend one, and your partner for the night was Chamber
You were already running late and now trying to get ready as quickly as possible
You had informed Chamber to get you from your room
So after getting ready he made his way over
You were still frantically searching for something not having put on your clothes
Chamber knocked on your door but in your search, you couldn't hear him 
He opened the door and found you only in underwear
He cleared his throat trying to get your attention 
"Chamber get out!" you shouted while throwing some clothing article at him
Sova
He is such a sweetheart 
You two often conversed about food and he raved about how good his babushkas cooking is
You of course said that you would love to try some
So the next time Sova took time away from the Vp to visit his babushka 
He talked a lot about you in general but also mentioned how you would love to try some of her cooking
She gave him some Kotletki for you
He was never this excited to be back at the Vp but he couldn't wait to give you his babushkas cooking
In his excitement, though he forgot to knock on your door 
You just got out of the shower and were putting on your clothes when Sova barged in
Sova was very embarrassed, to say the least
He quickly apologized before closing the door again
Seeing a flustered Sova was definitely a sight to see 
So after putting on your clothes you went out and Sova gave you the food
Phoenix
You two one day just decided to walk into each other rooms unannounced
You don't even remember how it started but until now it didn't make any problems
Today Phoenix got some new shoes and wanted to show them off to you
You on the other hand were out the entire day and just got back to your room
He opened your door while saying "Hey" but the rest of his words ended up being stuck in his throat
You were just about to change into something more comfortable and pulled down your pants when he opened the door
Phoenix turned around and closed the door at the speed of light 
For you, it took a minute to follow what just happened but when it registered you finished changing 
Then you went to search for Phoenix
Cypher
You have a lot of knowledge in different areas
So sometimes Cypher asks you for some information instead of searching for it himself 
He had a pretty important question for you and quickly went to your room
You on the other hand were changing your clothes
Noticing that you couldn't find the shirt you wanted to wear right now
You were turning your whole wardrobe upside down
That was when Cypher barged into your room
You didn't notice him at first having your head entirely in your wardrobe
He on the other hand just saw you shirtless rummaging through your closet
But he quickly apologized and closed the door again which brought your attention to the door
He will probably make you some Moroccan tea as an apology later
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Thank you for reading I appreciate it
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blackhairedjjun · 6 months
Text
through the haze
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pairing: choi yeonjun x gender neutral reader | genre / tropes: hurt/comfort, gets a bit fluffy, established relationship, slice of life | word count: 1.4k | warnings: pet names (darling), negative thoughts, reader is having a bad mental health day
summary: you're on vacation with your boyfriend when your mind decides to turn against you, but fortunately he's willing to stay by your side.
author's notes: wrote this on a whim in one sitting, was having a terrible mental health day just a few days ago so i needed something cathartic. NOT PROOFREAD, apologies in advance for any mistakes.
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in your mind there is only static.
you know that days like this come and go, when your mind seems to be actively working against you. on some days that active resistance comes in the form of thoughts: i'm not good enough, no one loves me, i don't deserve what i have. but these days the thoughts aren't even coherent enough for you to spell out. instead they take the form of a mental fog — a haze of negative energy casting a shadow over everything you see and hear and think and feel. and this haze is heavy enough to push against you, so much that every small action you do is met with resistance.
you don't want to do anything. the haze won't let you.
of all the days for the haze to settle in your mind, it happens on vacation day. on park day. this was the one day that you and your boyfriend were looking forward to as you searched for spots to go: he would bring his new camera with him and take shots of the scenery and of you. you would walk with him, laughing as you struck a pose just for him, and maybe the two of you would get distracted as a dog passes by.
but today you don't feel like petting dogs or having your picture taken or even just getting out of your bed. you sit up, blinking, your eyes slowly focusing on the blank wall in the hotel room you've booked. you've laid out your clothes for today in the drawer across you, but you can't even muster the energy to peel the sheets off yourself. instead you simply sit there, the haze of your mind making the whole hotel room fade into a blur.
“y/n? you haven't dressed up~”
yeonjun's voice snaps you out of it for a split second. it takes a while for you to register him, but when you do you find him scurrying over to you, worry lining his face. he's fresh out of the bathroom, dressed up and smelling like soap, and the guilt stings at you for not wanting to go when everything about him screams that he's ready to.
“what's the matter?” he sits at the edge of the bed and faces you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “y/n darling, tell me if you're okay.”
his voice is soft, coaxing you out of the corner of your mind you're buried in; he runs a hand down your hair before cupping your face, his thumb brushing your cheek. yeonjun's seen your bad days often enough that he knows not to push too hard, instead inviting you to come meet him halfway and waiting until you do. and you trust him enough to do so, to make your way out of the haze just a bit.
your eyes meet his.
“don't feel good,” you say.
yeonjun pulls you towards him, placing your head in the crook of his neck, and his arms wrap around your waist. “it's okay,” he says, his grip on you tightening. “it's okay.”
you say nothing and instead bring yourself closer to him. you let yourself be grounded in his arms: you listen to the sound of his breaths, you feel the steady beat of his pulse in his neck, you inhale the powdery scent of his soap clinging to his skin. when he speaks, you feel his voice reverberating in his chest. “we don't have to go out today... we can postpone park day to tomorrow, okay? we can cancel tomorrow's plans.”
you shake your head and look up at him, gazing into his eyes. he looks at you with such patience, searching your face for any sign of hurt that he can take away. your mind inches its way out of the haze just a bit, enough for a thought to form: i want to stay with him. you want to stay close to him so that you can see him look at you like this. you don't know if you can make it out of your haze entirely, but part of you knows that he'll walk through it just to stand next to you.
you swallow the lump in your throat. “no, i... i want to go.”
yeonjun furrows his eyebrows. “are you sure, darling? you don't have to force yourself to.”
“i'm sure,” you say again, your voice steadying. you pry one of his hands away from your waist so that you can hold it and intertwine your fingers in his. “i just... wanna walk with you, be with you.”
he smiles and lifts your intertwined hand to his lips, leaving a soft kiss there. “then we'll take it slow, okay? just stay next to me.”
“okay.”
park day is slower and noisier than you expected. it took some time for you to dress up and get ready, so by the time you and yeonjun made it out, the visitors at the park had gathered quite a bit. the pathways are crowded, the good spots for photography are already full of people, and the idle noise of chatter and activity is everywhere. and even if the two of you did leave earlier enough for a more peaceful hour, the static in your brain would have kept you from a state of calm entirely.
you walk slowly, each footstep like dragging a dead weight; and though you look around to see the blue sky, the dewy grass, and the people in light jackets, you never really register the sights as a full scene. you can see the park just fine, but each sight floats along your mental haze, never sticking around long enough for you to feel what you think you should feel. walking in the park should be cheerful or relaxing or awe-inspiring or something, but those emotions never really settle within you.
the only anchor you have in your walk is yeonjun’s arm linked with yours, guiding you through the park crowds and the winding pathways. he slows his pace to match yours; once in a while he pauses to snap some photos with his free hand. despite your own mood he smiles to himself, admiring the clear day before him, then he turns to face you and places a hand on your cheek. his other hand squeezes your arm as you let him guide you past the most crowded part of the park to a more secluded spot.
you haven’t walked for very long but you’re grateful for the park bench he found away from the crowds. the two of you lean against each other, yeonjun’s arm around your waist and your head resting on his shoulder, holding hands with intertwined fingers. here the noise of the crowd softens to a pleasant buzz, and even the haze of mind starts to retreat. you gaze up at the sky then down at the park horizon, and the calm of it all finally sinks into you.
you don’t notice that yeonjun has been looking at you for quite some time. a small smile forms on his face as he senses you coming out of your mood, and he presses a kiss to the crown of your head. you hum at the feeling of his lips on your skin.
“do you wanna take more pictures?” you ask.
“nah, i just wanna stay here.”
“you sure? you didn’t take that many.”
“how can i when my favorite subject isn’t up to it?” he pouts, teasing, but you feel the haze pushing against you again.
“i’m sorry— i know you wanted to—”
“hey, don’t apologize.” he kisses your forehead again and turns to face you. “i’ll have plenty of days to take pictures of you, and you’ll look even better when you’re feeling okay.”
you nod. he squeezes your hand.
“so how are you feeling?” he asks.
“uh…” the haze still surrounds you, though it feels less heavy than before. “a bit better, i guess.”
“mm, that’s good, darling.”
“jjunie… can we stay for a bit?”
you shuffle closer to him and meet his eyes again. once again you see him searching you for hurt, but you see the relief that washes over him when he finds that there’s a bit less. he smiles, and you feel the beginnings of your own smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
“of course, we can stay as long as you want.”
148 notes · View notes
jinhyun · 9 months
Text
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↬part one.
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"these days, i haven't been sleepin'
stayin' up playin' back myself leavin'"
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pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader
genre: written series, angst, fluff, friends to lovers to exes to lovers, she fell first but he fell harder, yearning, mutual pining, non-idol au, baker!y/n, movie producer!hyunjin.
word count: 4.3k
warnings: y/n has self-sabotaging tendencies, cursing, mentions of alcohol, eventual smut, mature content, MINORS DNI!!!
tag list: open. send me an ASK to be a part of it, otherwise i might miss it. i will only be adding people who are willing to reblog the chapters and/or comment on them, because it does take time out of my day to tag everyone and likes or straight up cricket noises do nothing for me in return if i'm honest.
a/n: so, here's the first part!! idk how long the rest will be but i feel like 4k is okay for now :'). some things were just lightly acknowledged in this part but don't worry, everything will be explained better later on. i hope you guys enjoy!
feedback is very dearly appreciated<3
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"You look terrible".
You jolted at Seungmin's remark, feeling your heart race after he had crept up behind you while you focused on neatly placing the freshly made cupcakes in the showcase.
Without saying a word to him as you tried to calm down from the sudden scare, your eyes focused on the large Caramel Macchiato he had placed by you on the counter, smiling softly at his silent show of affection.
"A 'hello' would've been appreciated too, you know?" you hummed, straightening up and leaving the half-emptied tray on the counter before your eyes met your friend's unamused ones.
"I see you every day. Thought we were past hello's by now" he shrugged.
"Are we?" you scrunched up your nose.
"I mean, we should be because it's tiresome to—Just drink your damn coffee".
A throaty laugh escaped your mouth at his sudden exasperation, not waiting another second to follow his order and take a long sip of the beverage he had prepared for you, feeling your muscles relax as soon as the sweetness of it reached your tastebuds.
"Is it good?" he asked.
You rolled your eyes. "You already know the answer to that, you cocky bastard".
"Doesn't hurt to hear it every once in a while" he smirked proudly.
"What did I even do to deserve a coffee made by the Kim Seungmin anyway?"
"Oh, don't act like you don't ask me to make you at least three of these every day".
"Ask is the keyword" you pointed out, taking another sip of it.
He sighed, finally dropping the playful mood and leaning against the wall. "You seemed out of it…"
"Aww, were you worried about me?" you brought a hand to your chest.
"Shut up," he mumbled. "You didn't even hear me come in. I was literally right next to you making your coffee and you wouldn't notice. And your face is…"
"Do I look that bad?" you wondered.
Seungmin shook his head no, yet the concern on his face was clear. "Just tired as hell. Did you get any sleep?"
"Not really," you sighed, leaving the cup on the counter and running your hands over your face. "I'd say I got like three hours of sleep at most".
"Something happened?" he tilted his head.
You lowered your head, and that was all it took for him to read you like an open book.
"Did you get the invitation?"
You felt the air being punched out of your lungs at Seungmin's question. You had hoped that particular question wouldn't be asked at all that day. You had hoped the topic as a whole wouldn't be brought up. But it was Seungmin, you should've expected him to be up-front about it.
You sighed, nervously wiping your hands against your apron before turning around to head towards the cash register — with absolutely no other purpose than to avoid this conversation.
"Did you?" he pushed it, following hot on your heels. "Y/N, come on".
You said nothing.
The answer was so obvious, you wondered why he wanted you to confirm it to him so bad.
Had it been facing upwards all along, you wouldn't have felt your heart being stabbed by a thousand knives.
Of course you had gotten the invitation. It had been lying on the floor of your apartment all day, patiently waiting by the door for you to arrive.
It had been the first thing that caught your eye as soon as you entered your place, and you cursed at whoever decided to slide it downwards under the door. Had it been facing up, you wouldn't have felt your pressure drop the moment your eyes fell on it. You wouldn't have felt your knees go weak and tremble as you reached down to pick it up, and you wouldn't have felt your face heat up at the same time that tears welled up in your eyes.
Because, for the five seconds that it took for you to kneel down and pick the delicate creme envelope up, and for the ten others that it took for you to gain enough strength to flip it over in your shaking hands, you believed the names on the invitation would be the same two that were the cause of your heartbreak.
Hyunjin and Minji, you said under your breath — cursing once again, over how even their names sounded perfect next to one another.
Please, don't be Hyunjin and Minji.
Please.
As soon as you flipped it over, you felt pathetic. How scarred did you have to be for your first thought to a wedding invite being that Hyunjin and his best friend were getting married?
It had been nearly eight months now since you broke up with him, you would've thought your body wouldn't get such a reaction out of a simple envelope on your floor. And the rational part in you wanted to believe he wouldn’t be marrying someone else when it hadn’t even been a year yet. You knew you wouldn’t; not when you were nowhere near halfway there when it came to getting over him and moving on.
Pathetic, that's how you felt.
Wanting to forget about it all, you threw the invitation on your key table before taking your shoes off and heading to bed. Thankfully, this time it laid facing upwards and wouldn't bring you any more heartbreak, since it now displayed the names of the lovely couple who was about to get married and would like you to join them on such a special day.
Felix and Hyejin.
"Mhm…" you hummed in response after what felt like an eternity.
That was as much of an answer as Seungmin would get from you.
"Are you going?" he inquired.
You shrugged. "Don't know".
"What do you mean you don't know?!" he scoffed. "Y/N, it's Felix and Hyejin we're talking about. We've been friends since the beginning of college. Fuck, we’ve been friends with Hyejin since high school!"
"So?" you helplessly tried to fight back, knowing well enough you were at disadvantage here.
"So?!" Seungmin grew frustrated. "I get that you and Hyunjin broke up and I've been very understanding when it comes to not pushing you into hanging out with our group anymore, but it's our friends' wedding we're talking about this time".
You sighed, leaning against the counter in search of some kind of support. "I know…"
"You can't avoid us forever".
"I haven't avoided you" you pouted.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure the only reason you didn't push me away like the rest was because we're literally linked by a contract and have to see each other at our coffee shop on the daily".
"Come on now, don't be like that" your voice weakened, reaching for his hand and holding it in between both of yours. "I can't even remember what my life was like before we became friends, I wouldn't have pushed you away out of everyone".
Seungmin's semblance softened — both at your words and at the miserable look in your eyes. In the end, he was all you had, and although honored, he couldn't help but feel his chest hurt over how you had ended up here.
Not even a year ago, you used to have a team of ten people rooting for you. You used to have a perfect support system, and you used to be a part of it for your friends, too. Now, you had managed to close yourself off and push everyone away. You had cleared the way for Hyunjin and Minji to take over, not wanting to make things awkward after everything that went down. After all, you were the one who ended things, it was only fair for you to be the one to take a step back.
Now, it was only him to you. Y/N and Seungmin, just like it had been up until high school.
With a small smile, he squeezed your hand tenderly. "I really think you should go…"
You bit your lip, looking down to your black shoes, which suddenly seemed like the most interesting view in the world.
Truth be told, you wanted to go. For Hyejin and Felix, you wanted to attend. Being there with them on the most important day of their lives would be a dream come true. But you just weren't ready to face their guests — two of them in particular.
"Will you at least think about it?" he pushed it once more when he realised you might not speak up again. "Before sending your confirmation back by the end of the week".
"Will he…" your voice came out of your mouth before you could stop it, still not being able to look up. "Are they…" you sighed, feeling like you might break down from the thought of it alone. "Are they going together?"
It wasn't necessary for you to say their names, for Seungmin knew well enough who 'they' were.
"You made me promise not to ever tell you about them, no matter how hard you begged".
"That was before knowing I'd might have to face them again".
Seungmin smiled reassuringly. "I don't know, if I'm honest".
The glare you gave him was enough to have him step back and hold both hands up as a sign of peace.
"Cross my heart!" he promised. "Lix and Hye had talked about getting married here and there but the invitation took us all by surprise, you would've known if you hadn't left our group chat".
You smiled melancholically. You used to love that group chat, it had been one of your main sources of sanity all throughout college, and later on the source of many callouts from your friends when Hyunjin and you started dating and inevitably became that couple.
You missed it. You missed your friend group, all of them, even Minji, as sad as it was. But being in the same group as her and Hyunjin was something you were not strong enough to make it through, so you left.
"I'm not sure I should go then…" you confessed. "Imagine if they went there together. I would break down right there, Min".
"Aww, no, come here" he pulled you into a hug, tightly wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your face into his chest. "I doubt they'll go together, but if they do you can leave. I just want you to show up for Felix and Hyejin, even if you literally only go there to congratulate them and then dip".
A muffled chuckle was heard against his chest. "That would be a bit rude, don't you think?"
"Then stay" he pulled you back by your shoulders, locking his eyes with yours. "You don't even have to look their way. We can go together, I'll make sure to block his view whenever he's within your visual range".
"You'd do that for me?" you pouted.
"Of course, I'll be like your personal bodyguard".
"You should probably gain a bit more muscle for that" you teased, poking his bicep.
"Shut up" he offendedly let go of you.
"You don't have to sacrifice your plus one for me, though" you let him know. "You can take whoever you want with you, I'll be fine".
"Well, it's not like I've got a lot of people lined up to date me, do I?" his snarky remark earned a laugh from you. "Plus, we'd kill three birds with one shot".
"Isn't it supposed to be two?" you tilted your head.
He shook his head. "Three".
You motioned for him to go on with his point.
"The both of us would get a date and wouldn't be put in one of those lame tables for single people so we can mingle" he cringed, and you giggled. "I'd be able to keep you from interacting with Hyunjin and Minji all day long. And, we could make Hwang a lil jealous while at it. I know he was lowkey always jealous of me being close to you".
You snorted, finding his third point absolutely ridiculous. "Oh, come on. What was there to be jealous of?"
"Should I be offended?"
"You're an idiot," you laughed. "But I will take you up on your offer".
"So you're going?!" he cheered up.
"No, I mean… I still have to think of it, but if I do, we should go together".
"Okay then, I guess I'll be waiting" he sighed, quite over dramatically at that. "Please let me know when you make up your mind, so I know whether to check the plus one option or not".
"Will do" you smiled, going back to the long-forgotten cupcakes on the counter in order to keep placing them in the showcase. "Now go see if everything's in order so we can open for the day".
"Yes, boss".
You rolled your eyes. "For the millionth time, I'm not your boss. We're literally associates".
"Yeah, and we're both the bosses here" he reminded you, stealing a salted caramel cupcake from the tray. "Would really appreciate it if you called me boss around our workers from time to time".
"Just go, big boss" you humored him.
Seeing him give you the middle finger while he stuffed his mouth and walked away, you knew the day would go by smoothly.
-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
When you arrived home later that night, you were confident to check your assistance on the invitation. Seungmin's pep talk that morning had really done the trick, and the fact that it had been a very busy day at the coffee shop hadn't left that much space for overthinking throughout the day.
So, when you walked into your apartment that evening, you confidently grabbed the envelope you had thrown to the table by the entrance the day before and made your way to the desk inside your bedroom.
Taking a seat by it, you allowed yourself to pay attention to the details on the envelope for the first time. Violet had always been Hyejin's favourite colour, and you couldn't help but smile when you saw the few touches of it on the creme paper. Their names were delicately written in cursive with a black pen right in the middle, and it looked so perfect that it actually had you wondering whether it had been written by hand or in a computer.
Just like Hyunjin and Minji, Felix and Hyejin were, too, names that you considered to look perfect together. You wanted to believe Hyunjin and Minji weren't actually meant to be, though — unlike Lix and Hye, who were so fucking perfect for each other, that it only took you one minute with them the day you all met to realise they were meant to be.
Trying to erase the melancholic smile from off your face, you grabbed a black pen and opened the envelope for once and for all.
The words on the paper that informed the details of when and where the event was taking place went right through your head as you searched for the small square you would have to check in order to attend.
You were going.
Yes, you were going.
That's what you repeated to yourself like a mantra while your mind fought with your body, as the still hand holding the pen wouldn't come down to check the goddamn 'I'm attending' box.
You were going.
You had told yourself you were going.
But, after staring blankly at the paper on your desk for five minutes without being able to move, you came down to the conclusion that you couldn't bring yourself to write down on it.
Not when you were reminded of who you might bump into if you ended up attending.
No matter how hard Seungmin tried to block your view, no matter how hard you tried not to look around for him and have tunnel vision for the groom and bride standing on the aisle only, you knew you would somehow end up caving in.
Because no matter how hard you fought it, your eyes would always look for him in a room full of people. And you knew that if you looked and he was with her, your heart would break all over again and you would not be able to control the tears that would come rolling down your face in an instant.
Even if they were not a couple, even if they did not attend as each other's plus one, you knew you would break down at the most minimal of their interactions — because Hyunjin was no longer yours, and he had been hers first.
Granted, they had never been physically involved —as far as you knew and as far as you wanted with everything in you to believe—, and you had always been too scared to ask Minji if she ever had feelings for him, but Hyunjin did have feelings for her. To make matters worse, he used to have them up until right before you and him got romantically involved.
"She is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on" Hyunjin said one night.
You had all been drinking at Minho's on a Friday night, just for the sake of having a good time as the best friends you were — all eleven of you.
Hyunjin was on his third drink already and could feel his eyes becoming heavy, but even then, his eyes would light up at the sight of Minji. Your heart tightened at the realisation, having to remind yourself that it was just a crush and you needed to let go of it before you ended up hurt.
You were well aware of it, but it was hard to let it go when you were sitting down next to him on the couch and his knee was ever-so-naturally touching yours. It was hard to let go of it when the two of you got along so well and would spend hours just sitting beside each other talking about anything and everything at the same time.
And it was hard not to feel your chest hurt every single time he would steal a glance towards Minji, who kept laughing at anything that Han said as they talked by the kitchen's entrance.
It hurt, because he looked at her like she held the stars in the sky, and you wished he would look at you the same.
You wished he would look at you like that. Period.
Not her. Only you.
But he did not. You could tell the difference in his chocolate eyes when they focused on you and when they focused on her, and it hurt the same every single time.
"Why don't you tell her?" you asked regardless, trying your best to push your feelings away.
Hyunjin looked at you as if the most stupid of ideas had just come out of your mouth — and, in a way, it had. "We've been friends since we were twelve, there's no way".
"She's gonna find out eventually if you keep saying those things out loud when she's in the same room" you shrugged, bringing your cup to your mouth, quietly sipping down on your beer.
"What? Did I say something? What did I say?" he silently freaked out.
A bitter smile curved up your mouth, which was thankfully covered by the cup still pressed to your lips.
Hwang Hyunjin was so in love with his best friend that he didn't even realise when he called her the most beautiful woman his eyes had ever seen.
You wished he could ever feel that way about you, but you knew he wouldn't. Between Minji and you, you knew his heart would always choose her. And it was okay. After all, you only had a crush on him. You could make it go away any time.
Oh, how wrong you were. And how you wished it was just a crush.
How you wished you had actually put some effort into making it go away when you had the chance, instead of only letting it grow bigger and stronger by the day.
But not falling for Hyunjin was one of the hardest things you had fought against, and you failed oh-so-miserably at it.
It was his way with words and how he made you feel like the most special person in the world before the two of you were even a thing. It was the way he made you feel like no one else but the both of you existed. The way he would stare and not even try to play it off. The way he would out of nowhere say the sweetest of things to you and expect you not to become a blabbering mess in front of him.
How he would Facetime you at any time of the day just to check up on you and tell you about the plot he had randomly came up with while doing the most mundane of chores; and how he'd show up at your place with your favourite drinks and food, only for the latter to inevitably go cold, as he always seemed to arrive in the middle of your baking sessions, which resulted in him becoming your personal assistant whose commissions would be paid in all the pastries his stomach could handle.
Everything was too perfect for you not to fall head over heels for him.
The darkside of it all was that you only got to experience all that when Minji went abroad for one semester.
He didn't have her anymore, and suddenly he noticed you.
It was as if a switch had been turned off and just like that all the attention he paid to her was now focused on you. It almost felt like he was looking for a replacement in the meantime, and you were too over the moon to realise. Until she came back, and everything you had built together came crashing down.
And maybe it was your fault for letting your insecurities win over the love he claimed to feel for you, but it was hard —if not impossible— for you not to feel like you had just been there to temporarily fill a void.
As soon as she came back, you felt threatened. The second his eyes laid on her and they hugged like they were each other's oxygen after being at the verge of drowning, you knew your days together were counted.
You should've stopped it all back when it was just a crush, when she still hadn't left and you didn't have the chance to have Hwang Hyunjin's attention on you in all its splendor yet.
Maybe then the two of you wouldn't have ended up getting together when she was away. Maybe then you wouldn't have gotten so goddamn insecure when she came back and they inevitably became attached to the hip all over again, like they always were.
Maybe then you wouldn't have gone through the hardest of breakups and the most painful of heartbreaks.
No matter how convinced you were that leaving him was the best you could've done to keep your sanity, you couldn't help but feel like it was not the best choice for your heart.
Ever since you walked away that December night, it felt like something was missing, like you were in a constant state of waiting for something to arrive at your doorstep but it never would.
It was almost comical, how no matter what decision you made, whether you stayed with him or not, your heart would break regardless. If you stayed, your heart would keep hurting every single time you saw him and Minji together. If you left, your heart would hurt over the loss of him.
In the end, you just had to choose the lesser evil. And fuck, letting go of him hurt so damn much you wondered if it was the lesser evil at all.
You wished you could erase that night from your memory. The words you said to push him away and the ones he said to keep you close, the sound of his voice breaking with each sentence leaving his mouth, his gloomy, red eyes looking at you like you had just ripped his heart apart, the endless tears staining those rosy cheeks of his you had just been covering with kisses one day ago.
Everything about it, about how you walked away, you wished you could forget.
It was all on you. You hurt him, and would never forgive yourself for it, no matter how much you convinced yourself it had been the best choice for you.
He had fought for you until the end, and you did not look back from your decision once.
You had lost sleep for weeks after that, and then last night you could not bat an eye as you went through all the possibilities that would come with you attending the wedding. Over and over, you wondered whether you would be able to handle seeing him again after all this time.
Overwhelmed by all the memories and what if's that had been unleashed inside your head by simply staring at that one piece of paper, you took a deep breath and put the pen down.
Although Seungmin’s pep talk had worked wonders to help you get through with the day, and although it had managed to convince you for most of it, you realised it was not a decision you could make that easily. Not that day, at least.
With a heavy heart, you stood up from your desk and decided to make yourself some tea in hopes to ease your mind — leaving the invitation laying there in the darkness of your room, once again left to be forgotten.
You still had the rest of the week to think this through.
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