#'but he's such a twink in everything!!!'

[queer-coded-camaro-driver]

My boyfriend has been shocked to learn that Martin Short is, in fact, heterosexual. He’s sitting on the opposite end of the couch, furiously reading Wikipedia, muttering: “There’s no way this man is straight. There’s just- There’s no way.”

I am barely holding onto my poker face.

[jedi-starbird]

A happier galaxy where the disaster lineage is somewhat less on fire constantly and senior padawan Obi-wan has developed a fixation on Mandalorians:

Sometimes Feemor regretted just how much he had given away when he had spent 5 expensive months bribing a traumatised Obi-wan to call him brother when he was 14. His dignity, for one, his access codes and shadow cloaking techniques, another. So he had a very dignified reaction when he was awoken to the shine of his younger brother's eyes in the dark at the foot of his bed. "I wou-stop screaming it's just me-I would like a Mandalorian. How do I procure one?"

"How the fuck should I know?"

Obi-wan scowled as if Feemor was being difficult, he wasn't, he wasn't quite awake enough for that yet. "You're a shadow, you're supposed to know things."

Ah, if being a shadow granted you the secrets of the universe instead of just a great many planetary governments, Feemor wouldn't spend so much time wondering what dark rituals Dooku had committed to result in Qui-gon Jinn. (He already knew what regular rituals Qui-gon had committed to result in Obi-wan)

"I know that I'm about to punt you out of my room right now."

"...My birthday is coming up, I believe I deserve compensation for all the traumas."

Obi-wan's eyes were very big now. Feemor sighed. He flopped back down into bed. He resisted the urge to pull his blankets back up and roll over. 'Oh sure when it's time to see mind healers everything's fine but now-'

"Shouldn't you be asking Master then?"

"Master would not approve of how I plan to use the Mandalorian."

He squinted at Obi-wan for a long moment. Obi-wan stared back. He did some quick mental maths and tried not to feel old. Eh. Fine. Feemor swung his legs out of bed. "You had me at 'Master wouldn't approve'."

"Do you think I could get one by walking into little Keldabe and asking very nicely?"

As it turns out, yes he could. A few too many in fact, apparently Jedi, their ancestral enemy, in the Mando district attracted attention, who knew? Feemor knew, Feemor would have known if only he had been properly awake when this semblence of a plan was proposed. He stalked through the cantina towards Obi-wan who was leaning slightly forwards against a pillar, ah...speaking, to a Mandalorian with painted orange armour while surrounded by a larger crowd of Mandos. At least they seem mostly amused. He ignored the youngers squawk as he yanked the back of his robes so that he moved away from the Mandalorian and spun him around.

"You cannot solve centuries of animosity by batting your eyelashes."

"I'm not batting my eyelashes " Obi-wan sniffed," I'm shaking my ass, there's decidedly more effort involved."

"I miss when I was an only child." Feemor sighed deeply. He used the force to scruff the neck of Obi-wan's robes and dangle him slightly in the air. He ignored the shouting from beside him and bowed politely to the staring Mandos. "My apologies for the disturbance, this will not happ-" He considered his brother who was now yelling out his personal comm code with a wink. " Please excuse us, this very probably will happen again, we shall workshop it. May the force be with you all."

I don't have a fully planned AU but it is Codywan!!! cause I love those bitches but have some more dialogue I came up with for this AU. I'm imagining them both as like 20-23, Obi's close to knighthood. He's still a padawan for this because I think him causing Qui-gon headaches is funny. Feemor fully thinks this complicated courtship dance Obi's created is funny, he likes studying his little brother like a bug, he just wasn't prepared for him to just waltz into little kelbade and start hitting on people, though he really should have been.

Hand wavy timeline with Jaster alive but the clones are still clones, Jango was kidnapped and held in stasis or something, Jaster claimed them as Mandos. This is really just about Obi's first and biggest diplomatic achivement being friendly Jedi-Mando relations purely cause he was in his thot era. This also somehow saves the galaxy from the sith.

I like to imagine that Cody's brothers recorded that little exchange between Fee and Obi on their helmets and uploaded it online where it went viral on MandoNet before going viral galaxywide because wait holy shit is that a Jedi saying that????. Qui-gon gets called in for a very weird meeting where the council's like ok so the entire holonet has seen your padawan being horny on main but also this is like the biggest jump in our diplomatic relationship with the Mandos in centuries so like can we keep this up somehow? This results in Obi-wan being holonet famous, first through vode recordings but then he starts a space tumblr and twitter account and he's famous now. Then his friends and other jedi start accounts because wait we're allowed to do that? and those become big as well and this is literally the best PR the jedi have had in hundreds of years. the holonet loves them. the sith are fuming.

Obi-wan, scoffing: What were they gonna do? Shoot me? Feemor: Yes. Obi-wan: I don't believe in blasters. Bly: ...like as a concept...? Obi-wan: No, spiritually.

Obi-wan: I'm sure there's a nice Mandalorian we can find for you Feemor: I'm not sure those 2 words belong together Obi-wan: No of course not, we can't find a nice one, then they'd be all alone, we need to find an absolute bastard of one so that you two match :)

Obi-wan: Oh so Master gets to take in pathetic life forms but I don't? This one's already domesticated! Wolffe: Debatable. Feemor: Cody's a person! Not a stray tooka! Obi-wan: Master takes in stray people all the time! That's how he got me!

Qui-gon: How do you explain this behaviour Padawan ? Obi-wan: The force pushed me towards the Mandalorians Master, it was quite insistent on me developing better relations with them given our difficult history. Feemor: Fascinating, please do elaborate, I'd love to hear the theological implications of a force-assigned kink.

[mr-malumm]

Throws this at you and runs away 🏃💨

[kimis-gloves]

🤭🤭🤭🤭

[general-cyno]

So bring on the marines or pirates or sea beasts. You're my captain, Luffy, and I'm your first mate.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I love how you draw Xie Lian fucking jacked lmao

He's built like a trucker. To Me.

[justpassingbyoursht]

Yknow when I first saw Chronos i couldn't quite take him seriously bc he's... he's a twink. who gave him that tiny tiny waist and those birthgiving hips? why is he built like that? i expected a giant or something, i mean the big 3 brothers are built ykno their father should be big muscly guy too right?? and then i realized he's got an hourglass shape and. 😶

my bad supergiant u are right. titan of time. hourglass. titan of time? hourglass. checks out ✓ he is hourglass shaped. an hourglass. ⌛that. that is him. titan of time alright. hourglass

but still that tiny waist

[cchocolatekat]

ive known them for a grand total of two days

[yujeong]

Alright, that's enough. I need everyone to be normal about Tonkla right the fuck now.

The takes I've seen about that man have made me lose my mind, to the point where I'm wondering if I've been watching the same show as everyone else. From him spreading diseases to his partners to him faking his grief and doing everything he does for attention, I've been quite perplexed while exploring the show's tags on here and on Twitter to say the least.

Guys. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Tonkla is NOT a difficult character to understand. Korn is arguably more of an inscrutable character than him.

Tonkla has been grieving since we first met him; at first his relationship with Korn that's changed to the point of no return and later his brother who got murdered.

That's it. I don't know why we're demonizing a man who 1) likes having sex and 2) is using sex to get the affection - affection, not attention - he seeks from the man whom he loves and from the man who loves him but Tonkla doesn't.

(I know why and I'll rant in the tags about it 🙂)

And while we're on the subject, I need everyone to be normal about Fuaiz, too, because the takes about his taking this role are even worse. People calling what BOC did by casting him grooming, calling the fans groomers and pedophiles, and so on and so forth.

Are you serious? Are you for real?

Fuaiz played White in DFF who was crying and being in distress 90% of the time, a show which included a scene where he pretended to get stabbed and where he got shaken by Jjay who was screaming to his face. I watched the BTS clip of that - the kid needed a moment to calm down from that experience.

Do you care about that in the same way or is it only a problem when he's pretending to get fucked on screen in a secluded, safe environment with a fucking Intimacy Director involved?

I can totally understand feeling uncomfortable about his age or about the age gap between him and Bas. I'm not judging anyone for that. But there's a difference between feeling discomfort and turning that discomfort into a morality issue. Please stop doing that.

[chassisfucker]

these three: i am going to create a sexual dynamic so foul that hell itself refuses to take us on because it doesn’t want to deal with All of That

[uwo-kun]

plopped xiao in the modern au

[petite-phthora]

Can I kiss you?

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 1]

Next >>

Ao3

---

“—so sorry! I swear I didn’t mean to kill him! It was an accident! He just jumped me out of nowhere and I have had bad experiences with clowns in the past so when I saw it was a clown trying to kidnap me I kinda just panicked and punched him! I swear, dude, I didn’t mean to hit him so hard—“

Jason, much too calmly, likely in some form of shock, rises from the crouched-down position he had been in to check the clown corpse’s pulse.

He had seen the poor, still rambling, twink getting grabbed from a distance and was about to step in as Red Hood, not even having been aware it was the Joker who —shouldn’t he have been in Arkham? There has been no announcement of him breaking out yet— had grabbed the guy until he had run close enough to the scene.

Which was after the guy had already been startled so badly by the Joker trying to kidnap him that he sucker punched the Joker into the wall of the alley so hard the clown died.

Said twink then realized what he had done and that he had a witness, that witness being Red Hood himself, and had started his frenzied speech on how it was an accident and to please don’t take him to jail he’s only just started his scholarship at Gotham U. and he can’t have murder on his track record yet.

Breathless, Jason looks at the nervous twink in front of him, who's still trying to plead his case, and who just obliterated the Joker with a punch.

Before his brain can catch up to his mouth, he’s already cutting the distressed monologuing off.

“Can I kiss you?” He blurts out.

Danny, taken off guard, breaks out of his panicked—oh, Ancients, I just killed someone— stupor and lets out a startled laugh.

“Take me out to dinner first” came the automatic joking reply, Danny still largely in shock of what he did.

Jason, either not picking up on the joking tone or ignoring it, nods seriously, already trying to come up with the best place for a dinner date with the cute twink to thank him for his service to the city.

Danny, who has calmed down slightly by now, glances between the red-helmed vigilante and the clown corpse. His gaze lands on Red Hood and he hesitantly speaks up again.

“So, uh, what happens now? Do I need to go to the station to make a statement orrrr?” He pauses awkwardly.

Jason, who’s still trying to figure out whether the Bat Burger would be a good place for a first date or not, doesn’t reply.

“I’ve got school in the morning and I only have like,” he pauses to check his phone for the time, “3 more hours before I have to be up for my first lesson. Soooo, I’m just gonna go. That cool?”

Again, he waits for a reply. But it doesn’t come.

“Right. Cool cool. Uh, see you later? Mr. Red Hood dude sir?” Danny gives a clumsy and awkward salute before turning tail and speed-walking away.

It’s not until 30 minutes later, once Jason has finally decided on the perfect place to take the guy to dinner to, that he realizes the twink is gone.

Fuck, he forgot to ask for the guy’s name.

…

And number.

[greeksorceress]

aemond: i have spent years and years training from morrow to night, perfecting my sword skills and my battle knowledge, making myself lethal. i have studied sciences, philosophy, strategies, arts. i've read every single book in our library. i fly the biggest dragon alive and my expertise in dragon matters are unparalleled. i'm fit to rule, for i’m smart and resilient and patient and diligent and hard-working and fair and just and dedicated. i persevere, i survive. i'm the best targaryen to ever be born.

lucerys: *smirks a little over a roasted pig*

aemond: thAT’S IT YOU FUCKING LITTLE SHIT. YOU WILL SEE. 

[yesloulou]

Max and Daniel leaving the 2017 Malaysian Grand Prix | from @ redbullracing

his face after he told the joke 😭

[kimis-gloves]

prettiest in papaya

[mystxcfire]

Evil Thoughts ^^

So, I am having very evil thoughts about some John Dory Ideas.

Like what if, Time-Travel John Dory. This idea came to me about the worm holes in the Trolls: The Beat goes on. Like what if 20s or mid 30s John Dory went forward/Backwards in time, like they switch places. If 20s John Dory, he would be in his mid life crisis mindset and maybe a bit feral but would be in shock at seeing his family being older than him making him the youngest with a guilt conscious on his mind. I like the idea that JD was gray for a bit when he was exploring and adventuring so, he is gray when he travelled into the future. If 30s John Dory, he would’ve try and save their grandma but ultimately fail in doing so but he tries to make it up by taking care of Branch and becoming a right hand man for King Peppy. He would also went out to get his brothers back as well and apologize to them.

Looks: 20s JD, would look like a twink. To me, JD wouldn’t have that much to eat and would be considered very underweight and look very skinny and scrawny. He looks the same as when he had left Branch but gray and seems to be glaring at others often than not, keeping a very noticeable distance between others including his brothers.

For 30s JD, looks like his canon self but as time goes on, he dawns a more exhausted look to himself. He would be constantly staring off to the distance. He wears the same clothing as his canon else but would have to change it up a bit.

Extra Info: TT!20s JD is a menace. He loves to cause trouble as he is very used to it as he has lived in the forest for awhile but he does double down when he was taken into his now ‘older’ brothers and was learning how to be civil with the trolls of pop village.

TT!30s JD on the other hand, is old. He is considered to be his brothers father which he didn’t mind and neither does his brothers, now sons. He wanted to mend the relationship that he himself felt responsible for breaking the bond, as brothers and as their father.

—

Or What if a Time-Loop Au of where John Dory entered a worm hole in which he was struck by a weird light and he was suddenly back in his old body and decided to try an change the past but in doing so, he created time-loops in which certain events happened instead of what would’ve happened. Like each Aus that are created are time-loops that Time-Loop JD created but everytime a new loop is created the previous loop is still implanted into his mind making him even more depressed, anxious, wary, confused and distrustful towards others. The Time-Loop either resets when JD dies or if one of his brothers dies.

Looks: John Dory would look the same as his young canon self but as the time-loop progresses, he starts to change himself. He is more tired looking, dawns different article of clothing from each time-loop that went by, has an exhausted look in his eyes as he stares off to the distance. He even stops eating at one point and gotten skinny and underweight. Scars are littered around his body, from times that he died during the time-loops.

Extra Info: TL!JD is very forgetful. He sometimes forgets about time-loops where he dies instead of grandma or Branches Dies instead. It’s an endless loop of time. Sometimes they are short but sometimes they are long. The longs ones, are the ones that hit him the hardest as he would always remember them. Always.

—

The fact that I thought up of this is uncanny as, I had just remembered in Trolls: The beat goes on, in one of the episodes, they were sucked into a wormhole in which anything is possible so, I decided to make something from that knowledge. Also, I would think that John Dory, would’ve had encounters of wormholes from time to time but wouldn’t be able to go through into exploring one since he mostly didn’t have the time or Rhonda would’ve stopped him from going through.