#'oh but with cameron it was sarcastic' he has never been more serious in his life. he just needed to Hide it

[harmonicabisexuals]

it's so crazy how house only says 'i love you' to four people in the entire series (stacy, wilson, cameron, cuddy in that order) and each time it hits me like a ton of bricks

[floralcavern]

Gay OCs backstory 2/3

Wow, they actually smooch!

1/3

No one really knew when they started to notice a change in Damian and Cameron’s friendship. 

But a lot of people noticed it. 

Tension. Serious tension that made a lot of people nervous. 

The intense stares and almost tense conversations between the two of them. 

They’ve been friends for almost two years now. Maybe it was just 10th grade stress? To be honest, that’s what everyone hoped. 

While a lot of people were jealous of Damian for almost always having Cameron’s attention, the idea of Cameron-and-Damian no longer being Cameron-and-Damian was weird. 

But the two have changed a bit over the past year. 

“Cmon, Damian,” Cameron said. The two were at their usual lunch spot, the bleachers in the gym. “I really do think you’ll enjoy this party!”

Damian sternly shook his head. He’s gotten a lot more serious lately. “No. I don’t. Like. Parties.”

“But it’ll be no fun without you!”

“Cameron. You get along with everyone. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“And if I go, what will you be doing? Sitting alone at your computer, coding your game until 2 am?”

The two stare intensely at each other. 

“I don’t need you to pity my lack of a social life,” Damian says, his voice almost inching towards desperation for understanding. 

“I don’t! I’m just saying it would be good for you to get yourself out there!”

“I don’t want to. Social interaction is too overwhelming.”

“But it’s necessary! Which is why you should keep working at it instead of running from it!”

“Oh, when did you become my therapist?”

Cameron buried his face into his hands and groaned. “Yknow what? Let’s drop the subject.”

You’re the one who keeps bringing it up.. Damian thought. This argument was getting overwhelming. He wanted to run and hide under the bleachers. Though he knew that wouldn’t be the good thing to do for his and Cameron’s friendship.

Izzy came over to them, her hands in her letterman jacket. 

“Are you two fighting again?” she asks, almost exasperated. 

“No,” they said at the same time, not at all convincing. 

“Mhm.. well, Cameron, Jake Bryan wanted to know if you were gonna go to his party tonight. He said you never RSVPed. 

“Right! I should go tell him.” He stood up and climbed down the bleachers 

Izzy and Damian looked at each other before she plopped next to him. 

Izzy propped her leg up on the bleachers in front of them, something she did fearlessly because she wore biker shorts under her skirt. 

“You going to the party?” she asks him. 

He tries to do a cocky, sarcastic laugh, but it comes out rather small and pathetic, accidentally showing his true feelings through. 

“No,” he says. “You?”

“Ya. Gotta make sure Cameron doesn’t do anything stupid.”

Damian looks down. He was, or, used to be, Cameron’s caretaker almost all the time. But Cameron’s extrovertedness has gone to new heights. Heights that intimidate Damian and make him want to stay more at a distance from him. Which has been.. hard. Very hard. 

“I feel like you should go to maybe one party,” Izzy says. “I mean, as long as you’re with Cameron, you should be fine. Right?”

He looks out at Cameron in the distance, chatting happily with Jake Bryan, a boy who is somehow even more excitable and cheerful than even Cameron. Those two were more suited to be best friends.. Damian wouldn’t be surprised if he was replaced by Jake. 

“I’m not sure..” he says softly, feeling his glasses slowly slip down his nose. “I might just ruin the party for him. Besides. My parents would never allow it.”

“Oh? That second one seems like an actual valid reason. Have you told Cameron about that?”

“No..”

“Why not?”

“Well.. uh.. my parents don’t exactly like Cameron.”

Izzy’s eyes shot up. “Seriously? Why not?”

“Well, several reasons. One, they think he’s too loud. Two, they think he doesn’t focus enough on his grades. Three, they think he’s a bad influence. And four, because he’s not Baptist..”

“I see. So, a lot of reasons.”

“Ya..”

They both looked out at him. From here, he looked like a daydream. Beautiful. Almost like the kind of guy Damian would only dream of. 

“Does he know your parents hate him?”

“Oh hell no! Cameron is loved by everyone. And rightfully so. He has a heart of gold. He deserves to go on thinking everyone loves him.”

“Letting him have that mindset isn’t healthy.”

“I know.. it’s just..” Damian squints his eyes a bit, trying to focus his eyes on Cameron’s smile in the distance. Fuck, how he loved that smile. 

Damian only came to the realization of his sexuality a couple of months ago, realizing it when Cameron made a joke about him and Damian running away into the forest to live their lives together as a way to escape midterms. It was a simple joke, but their classmates egged Cameron on to keep adding on more stuff to the scenario, the picture ending up becoming almost romantic. Really, really romantic. And Damian liked it. Way too much. Way, way too much. 

Damian is in love with Cameron Garcia. Which is why their crumbling friendship hurts way more than anything has ever hurt in his life. And neither of them are making any effort to try and make things better. Instead, they’re both sitting around and ignoring the problem, hoping it’ll go away and fix itself. Suffice to say that they are both cowardly when it comes to emotional topics that could change the entirety of their friendship. They both like it simple, uncomplicated. So they both avoid complexity like the plague. 

Izzy leans back on the bleachers behind them. Damn, she looked cool. Cooler than what Damian could ever hope to achieve. 

“You baby him too much,” she says. 

“Maybe.. but still. I know he’s not perfect at all, but.. damn. He really comes close.”

She looks at him. “Why don’t you tell him that?”

He looks at her with broken eyes. “Clearly, Isabel Yun, you have never been in love..”

She stares down at him, almost perturbed by the tone in Damian’s voice, but didn’t get a chance to say anything about it when the bell rang.

“I’ll see you in physics..” he said under his breath, standing up, grabbing his bag, and leaving. 

She watched him leave before standing up herself. 

“Hey!” Cameron said, climbing up the bleachers to grab his stuff. “Did Damian already leave?”

“Yep,” she said, slinging her messenger bag over her shoulder. 

“Dangit.. he really left without me?”

“I mean, you did kind of ditch him to talk to Jake Bryan.”

He sighs and grabs his back, the two walking down the bleachers. 

“I know.. but still.. We’ve grown distant. I like to at least walk with him.. but I shouldn’t have ditched him either.”

“You seriously need to figure out ways to hang out in settings that make him comfortable.”

“I do! But I’m tired of going to the same 4 places everyday! My house, the bowling alley, the library, and the cafe. I want to go out and do sociable things!”

She stops outside her classroom and shrugs. “Maybe try to host a small scale party. Limited amount of people and stuff.”

“I could try that.. but the likelihood of him trusting me for that is low..”

“Then I don’t know what to tell you.”

Before she had a chance to step into her classroom, Cameron quickly said, “Wait!” She turned to him with a mildly peeved expression.

“What now?”

“Do you think.. do you think me and Damian aren’t compatible anymore..?”

She gave him a serious look and sighed. “That’s for you to sort out on your own.”

Cameron watched her disappear into her classroom. He trudged to his classroom, her words weighing heavy on his shoulders. 

…

That night, Damian was at his pc, trying to figure out what kept causing his game to crash. 

When he looked at the time, 2 am, he lays his head down on the desk. 

Cameron was right. He would just be up at his computer until 2 am. And those nighttime blues were starting to hit hard. 

He was lonely. Very lonely. 

And suddenly he was hyper aware of everything in his room. 

His blue walls and blue curtains and blue life and his gray computer and gray bed and his dull, gray existence. 

He clutched his head, hoping if he squeezed his skull hard enough, he can eject all those bad thoughts out. Instead it gave him a bad headache and made him out too much pressure onto his tear ducts. 

He tried to get out of his chair, go downstairs, and make himself something to eat, but instead, he pathetically fell to the floor and covered his face as he tried to hide himself from all of the bad thoughts. 

When did he start crying? Why was he crying? He should be used to this by now! This is how it’s been these past few months.

Cameron was probably off at some party right now, living it up, drinking, having fun, having an actual life and forgetting about Damian’s existence. 

That last thought was enough for him to scramble for his phone and frantically call Cameron. 

The phone rang a couple of times before he heard the music, followed by Cameron’s voice. 

“Hello?”

Damian didn’t say anything for a moment. What could he say? “Oh, hey Cameron! I was just having a panic attack at the thought of you replacing me. Just wanted to check if we were still best friends!”? Ya. Absolutely not. 

“Damian? Are you ok?”

“Um… C-Cam..”

“Damian, I can’t hear you, it’s too loud..”

“N-Nevermind, I-!”

“No, don’t you hang up! I’m going outside where the music isn’t blaring.”

Damian listened to Cameron’s grumbling, hearing some voices in the distance yell “Where you going, Cam?”

Eventually, the music was more background noise and he heard Cameron more clearly. 

“Damian, what’s up? Why are you calling me so late?”

Why did Cameron sound so annoyed with him..? Or was that just Damian’s imagination?

“Um.. I.. Cameron, it’s hard to..”

He didn’t know what to say. Shit. 

“Damian..” Cameron said, his voice a bit softer. “Are you ok? Your voice sounds strained.”

“No, no! It’s fine. Um.. just..”

There was a moment of silence on the phone and the sound of Cameron’s breathing on the other line was enough to bring Damian back to tears. His voice was so close, yet so far. Cameron wasn’t here, with him, and it wasn’t fair. He was being stolen away!

“Damian..” said Cameron on the other line. “Are you crying?”

“I.. um.. I should go, uh..”

The phone hung up right before Damian had a chance to hang up on Cameron. 

What? He hung up on me?

He stared at his phone and slowly set it down before crawling to his bed, still laying on the floor as he tugged his blanket down and wrapped himself in it. 

Probably because my whining is so annoying.. why did I call him? Why am I so stupid?

He tries to wipe the tears on his face, but there were more than he could keep up with and he just ended up looking like a melting mess. 

There was a knock at his door, causing him to jump. 

Huh? My parents wouldn’t be up at this time.. and they sure as hell wouldn’t knock.

But then he heard the knock again and he realized it was coming from his window. 

He dried off his face and pulled back his curtains, where he saw Cameron standing there, panting and sweating. 

He ran here from the party.. from Jake Bryan’s house.. from the other side of town.

Then he remembered how the school has been begging Cameron to join the track team all year. 

“Cameron..” he whispers before pulling his window up. 

Cameron stumbled in and cupped Damian’s cheeks. 

“Your face is all mushy..”

“Mushy..?”

“Melty..”

“Melty??”

“Like you’ve been crying.”

“Oh..” Cameron always was able to read him like an open book. 

“What happened? It’s so late..”

“Just.. I dunno.. stupid thoughts, I dunno..”

“You dunno, huh? … Well, that’s ok. Cmon, sit down.”

He lead Damian to the bed and sat him down. 

“Want me to make you some tea?”

“No, no. It’s ok. My parents would lose their minds if they learned you were here.”

“Right. They’re strict on curfew..”

Cameron sat next to him and stared at Damian’s face for a good minute before reaching over and rubbing the underparts of his eyes. 

“You look so tired..”

“I am.. I mean, it’s 2:40 am, so..”

“That’s not the kind of tired I meant..”

“What did you mean..?”

“Tired of me..”

Damian blinked a couple of times as he tried to comprehend the idea of being tired of Cameron. 

“What..? No, no.” He laughed because how could he not laugh at such a ridiculous notion? “I’m not ever going to be tired of you. But.. are you tired of me?”

Cameron’s shoulder’s jumped and he moved in on Damian, shaking his head wildly. “No! No, definitely not. Not ever.”

Damian was frozen when Cameron was now practically hovering over him. 

“Ah.. I see.”

He put his hand in Cameron’s shoulder to push him away, but finding himself not having the strength nor the desire to push him away. 

“If we’re never going to get tired of each other..” Damian said softly. “Then what are we doing?”

Cameron tilted his head, confused. “What do you mean?”

“We fight so much.. our desires, our personalities.. they’re not.. we don’t mesh well anymore.. yet we never want to leave each other. Why? Why are we like this?”

Cameron processed the state question for a second before laughing a little. “I don’t know.. we’re just torturing ourselves, huh?”

“We’re not compatible..”

“Were we ever?”

Damian looks at him and Cameron is smiling. And then Damian was smiling too because Cameron was smiling and finally they seemed to understand each other, even if it was on the topic of their crumpling relationship. But at that moment, they were both so desperate to connect with each other again that even that was enough. 

And then they kissed. 

Neither knows who initiated it, nor who pulled away first. 

“Oh my gosh..”

“Ah! Damian, I am so sorry”

“Oh my gosh..!”

“I don’t know what came over me!”

“Oh my gosh!”

“I know it was completely inappropriate, I don’t know why-“

Damian grabbed his shoulder and shook his head. “Stop it.”

“Huh?”

He leaned in for another kiss. “Stop it. You’ll wake up my parents..”

Cameron’s eyes went even wider and he sat there, his mouth hanging open. “Do you like me?”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to pursue something with me?”

“I’m not sure.”

“…Do you want to kiss again?”

“Yes.”

And kiss again they did. 

“Is this irresponsible..?” Cameron murmured. “Neither of us know where our friendship stands right now, let alone.. whatever this is.”

“It’s definitely not responsible. But you’re tipsy, I’m depressed, and we’re probably both sleep deprived currently, so neither of us are going to be smart right now.”

Cameron frowns a bit and rests his head on Damian’s chest. “I don’t want you to be.. depressed..”

Damian doesn’t know what to do with his arms, so he awkwardly wraps them around Cameron and rested his chin in his head. 

“Can I spend the night?”

“Ehhh.. if my parents learned I had you spend the night without their knowledge, they’d.. probably kill me. Straight up.”

Cameron choked out a laugh. “Yknow, sometimes I get the feeling that your parents don’t like me.”

Damian panicked and quickly tried to lie. “No, no! They’re like that with everyone! Yknow? They, um, they don’t hate you, Cam-!”

“Damian. I know you’re lying..”

“I’m really not.. they love you.. everyone loves you..”

Cameron snickered. “Not everyone loves me.”

Damian shook his head. “Ya they do.. I mean..” he took Cameron’s hand in his own. “What’s there not to love..?”

Cameron stared at their hands and smiled warmly. “Seriously, though. I get it if they don’t like me. I’m kind of the complete opposite of their ideals and stuff. And I’m the complete opposite of you.” He punched Damian’s cheek and spoke in a baby voice. “Their precious, perfect baby boy.”

Damian gently smacked his hand away, laughing softly and shaking his head. “Silly. …Look. They don’t like you, ok? But I still like to be around you.”

“Even as of late?”

“Ya. Even with all this dumb arguing.”

“Hah.. maybe your parents are right to not like me, then.”

“Huh?! What do you mean?”

“That makes this whole thing sound so toxic! I feel like I’m just a bad influence on you.”

“A bad influence?! How?”

“I don’t know! Turning you gay or something?”

Damian furrowed his brow and stood up. “You didn’t turn me gay! No one can turn someone gay! It’s not like it’s some disease or whatever! I’m just gay! I just like dudes! I just like you!”

Cameron’s eyes sparkled as he sat on the floor and stared up at Damian. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve seen you that passionate about anything ever..”

“Oh.. um.. right, sorry, I.. that was an overreaction-“

“No, no it wasn’t! I loved that!”

“You did?”

“Yes!” He stood up as well and grabbed Damian’s shoulders. “This is the side of you I’ve known existed! That I know has been hiding just beneath the surface! Confident and cool and strong. This is the you I want you to embrace. It’s the part of you you need to love.”

Damian blushed and couldn’t help but laugh. “Wow that was corny.”

“I needed to say at least one stupidly corny thing.. you know me..”

The two stared into each other’s eyes and wrapped their arms around each other and kissed again. And this time it was a real kiss. Not some quick and panicked one done out of impulse or desperation. This was real. 

“Maybe you can stay over for the night..” Damian murmured softly, caressing Cameron’s hair. “You’ve been drinking. It’s not safe.. but you gotta leave in the morning through my window.”

Cameron laughed. “Feels like we’re doing something scandalous!”

“Ha.. um.. let’s lay down and maybe watch a movie or something on my laptop?”

“Ya.. ok. That sounds good.”

The two lied down next to one another. They put on some random movie Netflix had in recommendation. Neither really focused what was happening. 

Cameron had one arm draped over Damian’s stomach and the other playing with his dreads as he body faced towards him, resting his head on his arm. 

Damian had one arm extended to allow Cameron to use it as a pillow, laying on his back with one leg extended to Cameron’s side to rest it on top of Cameron’s leg. 

They both fell asleep, the screen illuminating both of their faces before it shut off on its own. 

The two hadn’t been this warm in a long time. 

…

The rest of that weekend, they hadn’t met up, both too scared to make the first move to talk about that night. 

Neither of them were entirely in the right headspace, so both were scared the other regretted what had happened. 

But by Monday, they couldn’t exactly avoid each other. 

“Hey, Damian..”

“Hey, Cam…”

“So.. how was the rest of your weekend?”

“It was good. Yknow.. fine.”

“That’s.. good.”

They stood there at the lockers for a bit longer before Cameron sighed. “Ok. We’ve gotta talk about this..”

Damian tried to feign ignorance. “About what..?”

“What happened on Friday night!”

“Look, Cameron.. it was irresponsible on both our parts..”

“Yes. I agree. But.. did you regret anything that was said of done?”

“..No.”

They stayed there, frozen, before Cameron groaned and grabbed Damian’s wrist. “Cmon. Let’s go somewhere private.”

“But we’ll miss first period!”

“Screw first period! Our relationship is more important to me than school is.”

Damian didn’t feel like pointing out that considering Cameron’s grades, a lot of things would probably considered more important than school to him. 

They went to the bathroom and Cameron locked the door and turned to Damian.  

“Ok. So.. what is going to happened between us?”

Damian felt too awkward to respond, so he tried to dodge the question by looking around and scrunching up his nose. “Y-yknow, these bathrooms are really gross..! Like, seriously. Does the school never clean them?”

“Damian. Look at me..!”

“I mean, seriously! The floor is sticky! That is so gross! And, I mean, teen boys can also be gross, haha..”

“Damian!!”

Cameron grabbed his face and kissed him. Once they both pulled away, Damian was left panting, trying to think of something to say before nervously saying, “Seriously, this bathroom is hardly a romantic spot..”

“Ughhhhh!!”

“I’m sorry! I don’t know what you want me to say!”

“I want you to tell me what we are now? Friends? Do you still want to be friends?”

“I don’t know!”

“Ugh.. my gosh..”

“Look, Cameron. I like you, but. All this fighting that we’ve been doing. Would we even survive a month as a couple?”

“I don’t know.. last night felt.. perfect. Like we could actually work.”

“But that was one night. What about when you want to go to this big social thing and I just.. can’t.. I only like the places I’m comfortable with. Our rooms, the bowling alley, the library, and the cafe. I’m boring you.”

“I..” Cameron couldn’t deny that. “You’re not boring me.. I just.. need some more things in my life. I can’t go on doing the same things every day, day in, day out. I need change, I need things to be unpredictable!”

“I’m not like that though! I hate unpredictability.”

“I know!” Cameron snapped back.

“So then.. what do we do?”

Cameron leaned against the gross bathroom wall, sighing. “I don’t know, man.. I like you so much.. and I don’t want to lose you as a friend..”

“Even if we did decide to try and date, it would be hard.. I’m not out to anyone but you.. and I don’t know if I am ready to be out. So we would have to keep our relationship a secret.”

Cameron laughed a little at that. “I actually wouldn’t mind that..”

“Wait.. you wouldn’t?”

“No. It would be like some huge secret thing.. like we’re Romeo and Juliet. But better.”

Damian snickered. “You hate Romeo and Juliet.”

“Yep..”

The two thought for a moment. 

“A secret relationship.. might actually work..” Damian said thoughtfully.

“Wait.. really?” Cameron asked, looking up, surprised. 

“Ya..! We could still keep doing our own things while also being able to do all this cute romance stuff on the side.”

“But that would probably make it look like we’ve drifted even farther apart.”

“Have we, though?”

“..No. But you’re my only real friend! Who else would I be able to hang out with?”

“Didn’t you used to sit with Lisa Xiè at lunch in freshman year?”

“Huh?! I mean, ya, but we weren’t friends or anything like that..!”

“Maybe you could try. Honestly she seems really lonely..”

“Wait, I thought she was friends with head cheerleader, Carly Bryan?”

“Their dynamic is a lot like ours where they’re so different that they only keep each other at an arm’s length.. I’m friends with Carly. She’s told me about it.”

Damian thought about it for a moment. Friends with Lisa Xiè of all people? Would she even want him as her friend? Does she even want friends?

“I’ll.. think about it..”

“So.. are we really going to do this secret relationship thing?”

Damian hesitated before slowly nodding. “Sure.. ya. I want to give it a shot..”

Please don’t let this fail.. I don’t want to lose him..

Cameron took a step forward and laughed awkwardly. “You were right.. this place is not romantic spot.”

Cameron smiled giddily and shook him by his shoulders. “Yay!”

“Does this,, change anything about how we’re going to do things?”

“Well, our hangouts are probably going to involve a lot more kissing,” he said with a jovial grin and Damian couldn’t stop himself from laughing. 

“Will this fix our problems?” Damian asked softly. 

Cameron laughed. “If things were that easy, divorce rates would be a lot lower..”

There was this far off look in Cameron’s eyes and Damian felt bad now. Cameron’s dad moved back to Colombia after the divorce at the beginning of the year. He.. hasn’t been the same, really, since then. 

Damian wrapped his arms around him and sighed. 

“Well, we’re probably going to have to have a proper sit-down conversation this, though.”

Cameron laughed and nodded. “Ya.. tonight? My place?”

“Sure..”

There was a loud knocking at the door and a voice that shouted, “Why is the door locked?!”

“Oh, ya..” Damian rushed over and unlocked the door and Shoya Fukuda rushed in and shot a glare at Damian and Cameron. 

“なんてこった?! Makeout somewhere else! I gotta pee!”

They both blushed brightly and together shouted, “We were not!”

Shoya rolled his eyes and Cameron tilted his head to the door and Damian nodded, the both of them leaving. 

After school, Izzy gave them a curious look. 

“You two seem a lot happier than you’ve been in a while. Something happen?”

“Ehh..” Damian said, awkwardly rubbing his arm. “It’s a long story.”

Izzy raised an eyebrow, but before she could ask more questions, another girl poked her head around the corner and whistled. 

Izzy turned her head to the noise and sighed before smiling a little. “Hey, I gotta go. Have fun walking home.”

She waved to them as she walked off and Cameron and Damian glanced at each other before walking out. 

“So..” Damian said as they walked. “Us.. dating.. well, secret dating, but.. dating.”

“Ya.”

“That idea kind of sounds like a dream.”

“I know right? I’ve liked you for a while.”

“When did you realize?” Damian asked, tilting his head curiously. 

Cameron kicked a rock, watching it skip a few feet away. 

“Probably the first day I met you.”

“Huh?! No way!”

“What? You don’t believe in love at first sight?” he asked with a big grin, sticking his hands in his pockets. 

“No! Not really!”

“Well I do! And I fell for you when I first met you out in the rain..”

“You’re so weird..” he said with a gentle smile. 

“Well I did! Damian, I really did.. I fell in love with your gentle eyes, the way you seemed startled by me giving me your umbrella.. honestly, I was going to ask you to walk with me so we could share an umbrella, but.. I ended up getting too scared and ran off instead.”

“Seriously? You? Flustered?”

“Oh, quiet. I only have so much charisma!”

They laughed and when they got to Cameron’s house, they did the usual. Take off their shoes at the door, greet Cameron’s mom, snack on some Honey Butter Chips, washed their hands afterward, and then headed up to Cameron’s room. 

Cameron sat at his swivel chair and Damian sat on the bed. 

“Ok. So. Dating. How’s this going to work?”

Damian hesitated. “I’m not sure. We’ve been going through such a rough patch in our friendship.. why.. why have we been fighting so much?”

Cameron dipped his head a little and sighed. “Look.. I know I’ve been pushy and stuff lately. I just.. I do worry about you.”

“But there’s nothing to worry about!”

“Damian! Friday night you called me at 2 am, sobbing!”

“I-…. Ok, you have a point.”

“I know things like parties or get togethers or any of that just.. aren’t your thing. But it’s just kind of.. terrifying?”

“What is?”

“That I’m.. your only friend?”

“N-no you’re not!” Damian argued, blushing from embarrassment. “I have Izzy!”

“Do you go out of your way to hang out with Izzy or do you just talk to her sometimes at school?”

“I… Fine, ya, you’re my only friend..”

Cameron smiled a little and pushes his chair toward Damian. “I’ve been wanting to ask you out for a while, to be honest. And me not being sure what your sexuality was isn’t the only reason I didn’t. If we did end up dating.. who would be your friend?”

“Hey, wait! Your partner is your best friend!”

“Ok, yes, but if we were dating it would be a different kind of friend. And you know that..”

Damian adjusted his glasses nervously and nodded a little. 

“I just.. I want you to.. make connections.. to.. find your people..” 

“But you are my person..”

Cameron stares at him for a moment before laughing a little. “Silly..”

They rested their foreheads against one another’s. 

“Ok, you’re right..” Damian said quietly. “I do need.. other connections. But I’m not good at that like you..”

“I know.. I sometimes forget that..”

“I appreciate that you have so much faith in my nonexistent social skills,” Damian joked, getting a snort out of Cameron. 

“Oh my gosh, you silly.. Ok, I can see if you and Lisa can hangout. Maybe we can have a duo hangout with Lisa and Carly!”

“I don’t know.. would that be a bother?”

“Carly loves social interaction, she’ll be happy to!”

“But what about Lisa?”

Cameron laughed and rolled his eyes. “You two can bind over being forcefully dragged by your extroverts to hang out!”

Damian laughed with him and cupped his face. “I appreciate your caring about me..”

Cameron smiled and wrapped his arms around him. 

“Of course.. I want you to be happy.. but I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable with my constant pestering and stuff..”

“It’s ok.. honestly, I was scared you were going to replace me.”

“Huh?! Replace you? Who could ever replace you?!”

“I don’t know.. Jake Bryan?”

“Hah! I like Jake a lot, he’s super sweet, but he’s too much like me. I like you because you’re not like me.. you’re like my moon..”

Damian chortled and ruffled Cameron’s hair. “You’re so corny!”

Cameron laughed. “Do you think everything I say is corny?”

“Yes!”

“Oh cmon! It could be worse. I could use stupid pet names like shmookie.”

“PFFFFT! Ewwww!! Never do that again!”

“Pookie! Pooh bear! Boopsie!-“

Damian squished his cheeks with his hands, shaking with laughter as he tried to compose himself. 

“You’re so stupid..” he said lovingly. 

“You love it,” he said, his words coming out weird with Damian squeezing his cheeks. 

“I do..”

Damian let go and Cameron tackle hugged him. 

“Sooo, mi cieloooo-“

“Why do I get the feeling that’s another stupid nickname?”

“Shhhhh! We’re dating now?”

“I-I guess?” Damian asked, smiling despite how nervous he was because he was just too happy. 

“That means you have to take me on a proper date!”

“I do?”

“Yep!”

“Like what?”

“Hmm.. what about.. bowling? And then we can go to the library and we can read whatever books you checked out at your favorite cafe?”

Damian sat there for a moment before his face melting into a stupid, lovesick smile. “You know me so well..”

“As long as in the next date you take me to the arcade! I can bring you some earplugs to block out the noise! And hand sanitizer, since I know you find it really gross.”

“You know me so well!!”

“Of course I do! You are the boy I’ve been admiring for so long!”

“Oh my gosh..” he said, laughing. “My cheekbones are staring to hurt because I’ve been smiling so much!”

Cameron pressed his nose in the crook of Damian’s neck and sighing contently. 

“This.. is the life..”

[mackenzielovee]

hiiiii angel!

I have a request for rafe x reader x jj.

In which Barry uses the reader as a collateral after rafe accumulates late payments for the substances he consumed and jj steals the 25K from him. The reader has been hanging out with both boys since she has a strong connection with both. Barry has been watching them all three interact over the last month and finds the reader as the perfect way to make them pay for their mistakes. Barry confronts both boys and right when he’s aiming to shoot the reader either JJ or Rafe get in the way and take the shot instead ( you can choose who) and the other boy promises to take care of the reader and protect her from all dangers. Meanwhile the other one is bleeding himself to death while giving his life for reader. This idea was so random but I’m so obsessed!!! Please please please! I’m so excited it would mean the world to me<3

a/n: hey baby! thank you so much for this request. I actually loved writing this and i hope i did it just the way you wanted! please let me know if you enjoyed it! ily<3

Warnings: swearing, talk of drug abuse, gun play, gun fire, blood, mentions of death,

Word Count: 5.5k

my writing

protection - rafe cameron

It's a warm day out on the Cut. As you walk through the tall grass and slap away a mosquito that landed on your arm, you think about how JJ is going to want to swim once you get the boat out into the water, and you forgot your bathing suit. You hope Kie has one that she left over at John B's, maybe you could steal it.

Faintly, you hear the hum of a dirt bike as it gets closer to you, but you think nothing of it. You're holding a six pack of JJ's favorite beer in your hand, excited to get the day started. You, JJ, John B, and Sarah all planned to take the boat out for a joyride and a day on the water. Kiara's working and Pope is preparing for his scholarship interview, an excuse that made JJ call him a nerd.

You hear the bike start to approach you, so you turn to see who it is. You've never seen anyone with a bike this close to John B's house. You don't recognize the guy under the helmet, but you don't really have time, because he pulls the bike in front of you and stops, scaring the shit out of you.

"Hey there, sweetheart," you hear, and immediately know the voice of the slimy drug dealer himself.

Barry removes his helmet and smirks at you, eyeing you up and down. You look disgusted with him, not sure what he wants with you but knowing you want no part of it.

"Get out of my way, Barry," you snap.

Barry's an asshole, always has been. One of your other good friends, Rafe Cameron, buys coke from him on the regular. You've been trying to get Rafe off of it and even went so far as to see Barry to get him to stop selling to Rafe, but it didn't work out. Barry just called you 'princess' a lot and then told you he'd lose a fuck ton of money if Rafe ever gets clean.

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Barry laughs, but it's sarcastic, "Are those beers up for grabs?"

You instinctively pull your occupied hand back, away from him so he can't grab it.

"No," you say, trying to side step him. He hops off his bike and walks in front of you, quickly boxing you in.

"Listen, sweetheart, it's nothing against you. But I'm gonna need you to get on the bike," Barry's voice is thick, making you swallow your anxiety.

You wonder if you screamed for JJ, would he hear you? Or would Barry rip your throat out before any noise even came out?"

"Not a chance," you reply, trying to keep yourself calm.

Barry snickers, then brings his beady eyes back up to yours. He steps closer, making you step back, until your back hits the bike and you had no way of getting away from him.

"I'm gonna say it one more time," he tells you, "And then it might have to get ugly. Get on the fuckin' bike."

Your heart is beating a mile a minute with no idea what this man wants with you or where he's taking you, but you know better than to go anywhere with him. You shake your head, sure words will fail you right now. Barry just sighs, then reaches up to his back and pulls a gun out from his pants. The beers fall from your hand to the ground, splitting open and spilling out on the ground.

"Oh, now, that's just a big waste," Barry uses the gun to point down at the beers, "Get on the goddamn bike. Now."

You don't see any other option; essentially it's live and get on the bike, or die right here, less than half a mile from John B's. You can already imagine the memorial JJ will build for you when they find out this is the spot you died in. Somehow, it comforts you. Only a little.

"Why are you doing this?" you ask him quietly as you turn to face the bike.

Barry watches as you sit down on the back of his bike, then uses the gun to slowly stroke up your bare thigh. You can smell his breath as he leans in to speak to you.

"Your boys both owe me. Big time. So, I'm taking the one thing I know they'll pay good money for," he smirks, then hands you his helmet, "Don't want you to get hurt, sweetheart."

You want to throw up every time he calls you that, but instead, you grab the helmet from him and put it on. You look back, hoping maybe, for some reason, JJ had wandered out and would just so happen to see you. All you see is trees. Barry hops on and starts up the bike, then turns back to you again.

"Now, you're supposed to hold on here," he tells you, wrapping your arms around his waist, "But if you feel so inclined to move your hand a little south of that, well, I don't mind at all."

You gag and loosen your grip on him as much as you can, not wanting to touch him any more than you have to. He starts up the bike just as his words sink into your mind. Your boys both owe me. What does that even mean?

Barry takes off, not bothering to go any slower with you. It's a pretty short ride back to his place, but feels longer to you because of how sick you feel. Every thought goes through your mind; he's taking you back here so he can kill you in private, he's going to rape you, sell you to some old Kook who will keep you in the basement. All sorts of things you think of, none of them good.

When you get back to his house, he stops the bike and you immediately jump off. So does Barry, who winds up just throwing the bike down in the grass. You throw the helmet down too, not caring if he wanted you to do that or not.

"What are you talking about?" you snap, watching Barry act surprised by your outburst, "Who owes you money? What boys? Why me?"

Barry rolls his eyes and shakes his head, then reaches over and grabs onto your wrist. You try to pull away, but his grip is firm.

"Don't fucking start that shit with me," he snaps at you, "Get in the house."

His tone scares you, and even though you know you shouldn't, you obey. You just want to know why you're here and what the hell is going on.

You walk up the stairs to the porch and sit down on the couch, the same one Rafe sits on every time he buys from Barry.

"Tell me what's going on," you say once you're seated.

Barry picks up a blunt from the table and lights it up, silently holding it out to offer you some. You shake your head and scrunch your nose up, disgusted with it. That makes Barry grin.

"Rafe owes me money," Barry states simply.

You raise your eyebrow, "So?"

Barry looks over at you, giving you the 'are you serious?' look. He sits down in the chair beside the couch, taking a long drag off his blunt before he speaks again.

"So," he says, "Did you know JJ stole 25k from my house?"

Your expression falters and your jaw drops, telling Barry you know nothing of it. That almost makes him feel guilty for scaring you so bad back there, if you were totally innocent. But he needs his money, and you're his one way ticket to it.

"JJ wouldn't do that," you say, not being able to stop the hesitation in your voice.

"Really?" Barry snickers, "Well, he did. And since both of them boys seem to be wrapped around your little finger, you and I are gonna become best friends until I get my money. Understand, sweetheart?"

You glare at him, now understanding what he wants with you.

"So, I'm just collateral," you confirm, watching Barry's lips turn up around his blunt when you speak.

"Exactly," he smiles, "Now. Do you have your phone with you, or did you drop it when you spilled my beers?"

You huff at him and roll your eyes, then lean over in your bag and pull it out of the front pocket. Barry snatches it quickly, then asks you what your code is. You tell him, knowing if he can just get the boys here fast, you won't have to be alone with him anymore.

"Should I send them a picture of you holding up a newspaper? Don't they do that in all the hostage shows on TV?" Barry laughs to himself, looking up at you for confirmation.

You shrug, not wanting to speak to him any more than you have to. Barry rolls his eyes.

"Them boys really put up with that attitude?" he snaps at you, "Goddamn, I could never. You better straighten up, honey."

You just stare at him, deciding it's best if the two of you don't speak. Barry hits send and then tucks your phone in his pocket.

"That should send those two idiots running," Barry laughs, taking another hit from his blunt and then looking over to you again, "You sure you don't wanna try this? Might help you fucking relax."

You glare at him once again and then shake your head, looking away from him. You can tell out of the corner of your eye that he stands up, but when he grabs your chin and forces you to look over at him, you gasp.

"Straighten out, or I'll do it for you," he says, then roughly releases you.

You sigh and sit back on the couch, praying that at least one of the boys will arrive soon. Barry sits back down in his seat and tries to strike up a conversation, pretending he hadn't just manhandled you.

"So, which one are you gonna choose?"

Your head snaps over as you stare at him, trying to figure out what the hell he's talking about.

"What?" you ask, your voice giving away your confusion.

"You know," Barry shrugs, "They're both, like, crazy in love with you. So, if I have to shoot one to teach the other a lesson, which one would you pick?"

You roll your eyes, "You're fucking crazy."

Barry leans forward and stares at you, blunt hanging from his lips. He slams his hand down on the table in front of you, trying to get your attention.

"They stole from me," he shouts now, "Both of them. Someone's going to fuckin' pay for that."

You just nod your head, hoping he'll just shut up now. You don't want to talk about how they stole or Barry teaching either of them a lesson. You just want to go home. You should've never been walking by yourself in the first place. Then again, you never dreamed some psycho with a gun would come along.

"I think it'll be JJ," Barry continues, "You seemed pretty bummed on Cameron when he refused to quit his shit. But, you know, take your pick. Drug addict or thief. Man, it's like the Bachelor or some shit up in here."

Your eyes roll so far back into your head that you swear you can see your brain. When you look over at him, he's still laughing at his own joke.

"They're going to pay you back, and then you're never going to see any of us again," you say confidently. Barry just laughs.

"Yeah, okay, sweetheart."

You look over form the porch when you hear a noise, then sigh with relief when you see Rafe's truck pull up. He's driving fast, too fast, and he hops out of the truck the second he gets within running range of the porch. He doesn't even bother to close the door behind him.

You try to stand and go out to him, but Barry grabs your arm and keeps you down on the couch.

"Easy," he tells you, reaching behind him and pulling out his gun. He sets it down on the table in front of him, and you take note of how his expression changes from laughing to pissed off.

Rafe runs up to the porch and swings open the door, and that's when Barry releases you. You stand and rush to him, feeling Rafe sigh in relief as he wraps his strong arms around your little body. All of your anxiety melts away as you know you're safe now. Rafe would never let anything happen to you.

"Please tell me you're okay," Rafe whispers against your head, squeezing you tight.

"I'm okay," you confirm.

He pulls back from the hug and starts checking all over your body for injuries anyway. He holds up your arms and scans those, stopping his finger over a bruise you already had. It happened on the boat with JJ.

"I'm fine," you repeat to him, laying your head back on his chest. You really just don't want him to let go of you.

"What the fuck, Barry?" Rafe yells, his voice echoing through your ear as you have your head pressed on his chest.

"Afternoon, Country Club," Barry stands and smirks, watching the way you cling to Rafe.

You don't look at him, you just close your eyes and breathe Rafe in, not wanting to remember where you are. In your mind, the two of you are hanging out and eating lunch at the club. You always love going, especially on windy days when his scent travels from across the table. You love the way he smells.

"I'd like to change my answer, sweetheart," Barry tells you, ignoring Rafe's confused glance, "I think this one might love you back, Rafe. How sweet."

Rafe instinctually tightens his arm up around you, keeping you pressed up against him.

"I swear to God," Rafe starts, "If you laid one hand on her-"

"I didn't, Jesus," Barry groans, "I wish you cared about getting me my money the same way you care about saving this bitch."

You don't react, not even slightly. You don't care what Barry thinks of you. You just never want his slimy hands to touch you. Ever again.

"She's not a bitch, man," Rafe's voice goes quiet, "And I'm going to get you your money."

Barry laughs and then pretends to cry, "Boo who, she's not a bitch. I don't care, bro. I gave you shit on two separate occasions-"

"And I gave you my bike as collateral!" Rafe shouts back.

"That piece of shit ain't worth half what you owe me," Barry spits, "Your girl liked riding on it, though."

Rafe's chest tenses against you, and then you feel him bring his hand up to stroke your hair. He's trying to keep you as relaxed as possible.

"Y/N, go wait in my truck," Rafe tells you quietly, pulling the keys out of his pocket.

"Oh, no, no," Barry smirks, reaching out and snatching the keys from Rafe, "You think you're the only person I called here?"

As if on cue, the porch door swings open again and JJ walks in. Your eyes open and you see him, his expression worse than you've ever seen him.

"You got her?" JJ points to you, but he's talking to Rafe.

Rafe just nods, tightening his grip around you again. You open your mouth to speak, but watch as JJ charges toward Barry and punches him square in the nose.

"What the fuck did you do?" JJ shouts, watching Barry tumble to the floor, "If I find out you fucking hurt her-"

Barry laughs from the floor, wiping blood from his nose, "Easy, bro. You two are so damn worried about this chick."

JJ's chest is expanding and then contracting every five seconds, telling you his adrenaline is going crazy. You know he's ready to punch him again. Barry stands and picks up his gun from the coffee table, pointing it directly at JJ. You try to push forward to stop it, but Rafe keeps his grip tight.

"Now," Barry says, spitting his blood onto the floor, "You bitches are gonna pay up."

"Barry, I'll get you your money, man," Rafe promises. When Barry moves and points the gun at Rafe, he quickly tucks you behind him. He gives you one of his hands to hold onto, while the other one goes up to stop Barry from shooting.

"Yeah, when?" Barry yells, "I told you, Cameron. It's not just me you're screwing with."

Rafe nods his head, doing his best to try and calm Barry down. JJ looks over at you, mouthing 'are you okay?'

You nod at him, your expression clearly giving you away. You're scared, and he knows it.

"I know, bro," Rafe says, "Some people still owe me from the party Friday night. I'm going to get it, I just need some time."

Barry laughs sarcastically and lowers the gun, "Oh, yeah, for sure, man. You know what, take your time, Rafe."

Rafe's expression changes, knowing Barry doesn't mean it. He just wonders what that means for getting you out of here.

"The girl stays with me until both of you are paid up," Barry tells both of them.

"Like hell," JJ mutters.

Barry, who is still pissed about his nose, turns around and hits JJ in the head with the stock of the gun. You watch JJ stumble back, and without hesitation, break from Rafe's grasp and rush over to him. Rafe reaches out to try and grab you, but his grip isn't good enough.

"JJ!" you say, grabbing onto him as he stumbles. He wraps his arm around your shoulders, allowing you to help him stand.

"Shit," JJ mumbles, gripping his forehead. He pulls his fingers back and sees blood.

"Damn, darlin'," Barry grins at you, "You really do love them both."

You glare at Barry for the millionth time today as you set your arm around JJ's waist and lead him over to sit down. He sits in the chair Barry had been sitting in and you stand in between his legs, moving his hand away to see his wound.

Barry looks over at Rafe, who has his jaw clenched as he watches you stand in between JJ's legs and clean him up. He watches as JJ's hand lingers on the back of your thigh, his fingers brushing your skin ever so slightly.

"That's gotta hurt," Barry says to Rafe, getting a lot of amusement out of watching the boys squirm over you.

You ignore whatever Barry says as you use the bottom of your shirt to wipe off some of the blood on JJ's forehead. It's not bleeding badly, which you're thankful for. You're almost sure Barry doesn't own a first aid kit.

"Now, JJ," Barry steps over to you two, "Let's talk about how you stole twenty-five thousand dollars out of my house, yeah?"

Barry presses the gun to the back of JJ's neck, making JJ tense up. You watch Barry, bringing your hands to JJ's shoulders and holding onto him, as if to comfort him somehow.

"I'll get it back," JJ says, his voice hoarse.

"You bet your ass you will," Barry tells him, "When will that be, exactly?"

JJ sighs, knowing it won't be any time soon. That money is long gone.

"Can we set up a payment plan?" JJ asks sarcastically.

He regrets it when Barry grabs onto your arm and pulls you away, pressing the gun into your stomach as he holds onto you. JJ stands quickly and Rafe starts to rush over, but stops when he sees the look in Barry's eyes.

"You know, I'm getting real sick of being treated like a bitch," Barry tells them, pressing the gun into you harder, "I want my money. Now."

You let out an involuntary groan at the pain, watching Rafe as he tries to figure out what to do.

"Let her go, Barry," Rafe finally speaks, "Let her sit down and I'll go get your money."

"All of it?" Barry confirms.

Rafe nods, "All of it. Just let her sit down over there."

Barry looks at both boys, noting how pathetic they are. He's glad, though, knowing all he has to do is threaten your life to get what he wants. He just doesn't understand what's so damn special about you.

He releases your arm and shoves you in the direction of the couch, Rafe stepping forward to grab you. He pulls you into him again, leading you over to sit down.

"You all right?" he asks you, taking a seat beside you and bringing his hands up to your cheeks.

"Yes," you reply, nodding feverishly as if to try and convince him.

"I'm gonna get you out of here, okay? I'm so sorry, baby," he whispers as he pulls you into him.

Your breath catches in your throat as he calls you 'baby'. He's never done that before. Your mind wanders back to Barry telling you that both boys are crazy in love with you. You now sit there in Rafe's arms, wondering if Barry's right.

Rafe pulls back and looks at you in the eyes again, "Just sit right here for me, okay? I'm gonna go get the money. I'll be right back."

You nod again, silently promising him that you'll be here when he gets back. As if you could leave. He rubs the base of his thumb on your cheek and gives you a small smile, then stands up. He curses, knowing he doesn't want to leave you here.

JJ steps over to Rafe as he walks toward the door, grabbing his arm.

"Where the fuck are you gonna get twenty six thousand bucks right now, man?" JJ hisses, keeping his voice down for your sake.

"I don't know, JJ, I was thinking I'd walk into the bank and ask nicely," Rafe snaps, "I have no fucking idea. But I have to figure something out, right?"

JJ runs his hands through his hair and exhales loudly, then looks over and smiles quickly at you. Barry watches the boys, trying to figure out what's going on.

"Dude-"

"Just," Rafe starts, already annoyed with JJ, "Stay with her. I'm going to figure it out."

Rafe hates telling JJ to comfort you and be there for you, but it's the way it has to be. No way JJ could get his dirty hands on that kind of money right now. Or ever. JJ nods and starts walking over to you as Rafe thinks about how much money his dad might have in his safe right now.

"You know," Barry starts, standing up again with the gun in his hand, "I'm starting to think you don't really have my money, Country Club."

"Chill out, Barry," Rafe sighs, stepping toward the door once more. The safety of the gun being turned off is what makes Rafe stop dead in his tracks.

"Tell me the truth, Rafe," Barry says.

Rafe slowly turns around with his hands up, swallowing quickly.

"I'm going to get it," Rafe states again.

Barry shakes his head, "You're lying."

Before Rafe can process it, Barry moves the gun in your direction. He looks at you for a second, the horror on your face, and you know your body is frozen. You shut your eyes, not wanting to see it happen. At least you'll die with the boys.

The shot fires fast, but you don't feel anything. You hear a yell, then Rafe scream out, and when you open your eyes, JJ's lying on the ground. Your jaw falls open as you tumble onto the floor beside him, setting your hand on his bleeding stomach. Your hand is soaked instantly, but you don't know what else to do.

"JJ," you cry out, watching his eyes find yours, "JJ, oh, my God."

Tears fall down your face as you stare at him, his eyes glazing over. He's just watching you panic. Rafe comes over and sinks down beside you, not knowing how to help.

"Towels, Rafe," you order, "Hurry."

You spot a random shirt laying on the ground, one you're sure is Barry's and use it for the time being to soak up some of the blood.

"Hey, JJ, I'm right here," you tell him, watching your tears fall onto his shirt. They become invisible immediately, the blood stains swallowing them up.

"Are you okay?" JJ chokes out, spitting blood from his mouth onto the floor when he finishes speaking. You shake your head and try to swallow your tears, but you can't.

"I'm fine, JJ, just relax," you tell him, then look up, "Rafe!"

Rafe comes out of Barry's and onto the porch with towels in his hand, stopping only when Barry grabs onto his arm.

"I was aiming for her, remember that," Barry tells him.

Rafe just yanks his arm away and comes to you, placing one of the towels over JJ's wound.

"Rafe, what do we do?" you ask frantically, trying to ignore the blood that now seeps onto the floor.

Rafe shakes his head, having absolutely no idea what to do. He brings his hands over yours and puts more pressure on the wound, trying to stop the bleeding.

"You have to call 911," you tell Rafe, "Go."

Rafe stares at you for a second, still stunned, when JJ starts to speak from the floor.

"Rafe," JJ chokes, "You gotta get her out of here, man."

"Not a chance, JJ," you say, trying your best to smile at him.

JJ looks over at Rafe again, "Rafe."

His voice is serious, and Rafe knows exactly what he's telling him. He's a goner, and he knows it. But he doesn't want you to watch him die. Rafe nods to JJ, telling him he understands. He watches JJ relax and lay his head back down, then stands up. JJ brings his hand down to yours and wraps his fingers around you. You squeeze, trying to tell him it's going to be okay.

"Go call," you remind him.

Rafe steps across JJ's body and, without speaking, tucks his arm around your waist and picks you up. He knows this won't be easy, and he can already feel his emotions coming up.

"Rafe, put me down!" you shout, your blood soaked hands going down to try and peel his arm off of you, "Rafe, stop! JJ!"

He carries you over to the door of the porch, doing his best to keep his grip tight as you fight with every ounce of strength you have.

"Let me go, Rafe! I have to help him!" you're screaming your head off, and Rafe hates it, but he knows he has to do what's best for you.

He glances back only for a second and sees JJ's shallow breathing, knowing he doesn't have much time left.

"Rafe!" you scream, kicking and thrashing around to try and get away.

"I have to make sure you're safe," Rafe tells you as the two of you reach the truck, "It's what he wants me to do."

"He's going to die!" you scream, "Let go of me! I'll never forgive you for this!"

Rafe opens the passenger door of the truck and puts you inside, using all of his strength to keep you there.

"You'll be alive, though!" Rafe raises his voice at you, making you stop. He's never yelled at you, not once.

You choke on your sobs as you see the blood all over Rafe's shirt, then all over your own. He buckles you in and closes your door, then rushes around the truck.

"Don't think this makes us even, Rafe Cameron!" Barry yells from the porch. Rafe flips Barry off and then gets into the truck, starting it and speeding off without buckling himself.

"Rafe, stop!" you yell, "I can't leave him there! He's all alone!"

"This is what he wanted!" Rafe yells back at you, stepping further down on the gas pedal.

"I don't care, I don't want him to be alone!" you cry, reaching for the door handle.

Rafe locks the doors and puts child lock on, preventing you from flinging out of the truck. You bang your fist on the window as he does, leaving a blood stain there.

"Rafe!" you look over and scream at him again.

He gets so frustrated he pulls the truck off the path and sets it in park, then turns to you. He grabs onto both of your wrists and holds them down.

"Calm the fuck down, right now," he demands, "Calm down."

You sit back in the seat and do as you're told, but your tears still fall. JJ just gave his life up to save yours, and Rafe doesn't seem to care at all.

"You need to understand that my only priority back there was to keep you safe. I'm sorry about JJ, baby, I am, but staying would've only put you in more danger."

You shake your head at him, almost as if you're disgusted. You let out a sob and then try to wipe your eyes, only smearing JJ's blood on your face. He reaches over and grabs your cheek, pulling you to look at him.

"I'm going to go back there and get his body. You can say goodbye to him. I'm gonna pay off Barry and never go back there. But I'm going to protect you first, do you understand?"

You nod your head under his touch, letting out another sob as soon as you try to breathe in. Rafe brings his hands down to your hips and pulls you toward him, over the console and into his lap.

"Come here," he whispers gently, tucking his arms around you and holding you close.

He knows you're a mess right now and there's blood all over his truck, but he doesn't care. He just wants you to calm down.

"Rafe," you sob, not knowing what else to say. His shirt becomes soaked with tears quickly.

"I know," he tells you softly, "I know."

"He saved me," you say, more just processing what happened, "Oh, my God, he's dead because of me."

"Shh," Rafe hushes you, his heart feeling like it's breaking in two as he listens to you, "It's not your fault. None of this is. Just calm down for me, baby."

Your hands come up and wrap around the back of Rafe's neck as you nuzzle your nose into the front of it. He brings one hand up to stroke through your hair, trying to relax you.

"We're okay," he soothes, his other hand rubbing your back, "Everything's okay."

You two sit there for a while, Rafe just rubbing on you and calming you down, until eventually, you start to come to terms with what happened. He's thankful you're no longer hysterical.

"Let's go get you cleaned up," Rafe whispers against your head once he feels you relax against him.

You pull back and look him in the eyes, feeling his hand come up to wipe blood from your cheek.

"You'll go back and get him?" you confirm.

Rafe nods, "Yes, of course."

You nod your head and then bring your hand up to his cheek the same way he had on yours, observing how soft his skin is. You think about what Barry told you about them both loving you, and how he later told you that you love them both.

"Rafe?" you ask, your voice nasally from all the crying and screaming, "Can I ask you a question?"

Rafe nods, loving the feeling of your skin on his. It relaxes him, makes him feel complete.

"Barry told me he thinks you're in love with me," you say quietly, leaving out the part about JJ.

You watch as Rafe nervously swallows, and then nods his head ever so slightly. You feel your heart swell, not knowing Rafe Cameron could ever make you feel that way.

"It's true?" you ask him, searching around in his eyes for any kind of doubt. There is none.

"Yeah," Rafe barely whispers.

"Oh," you say, watching Rafe's expression change to hurt as you glance away.

He's sure you don't feel the same. When you look up at him again, he's staring intensely at you.

"Is it okay that I love you, too?" you ask him, voice fragile.

Rafe smiles slightly, then watches as you smile too.

"Yeah," he repeats, but with more authority this time.

He leans his head down and then hesitates, making you hesitate as well. You reach up and grab the collar of his shirt, pulling him down to you. His lips make yours feel like they're on fire as they move together. He reaches up and grabs your cheeks, holding you to him. He pulls away after about a minute, staring at you in full adoration.

"I'm so sorry about today," he tells you, keeping his grip on your face, "I will never put you in any danger like that ever again."

You nod your head slowly, "I know that."

Rafe smiles down at you, bringing one hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear.

"Let's go get you a shower," he says softly.

He doesn't make you get back in your seat, however. He just tightens his grip around you and puts the car in drive again, allowing you to hold onto him while he drives. It almost reminds you of being on the bike with Barry this morning. But instead of being completely disgusted, you're completely in love.

[ameliterature]

Neil and Todd Jealousy POV (Yes, there's more)

Charlie POV | Cameron POV

Neil was an only child and this obviously came with minor character flaws. Not only was he given all of the attention by his parent (even if it was the bad kind) Neil never really had to share anything.

Not that he didn't want to share. He just never had many opportunities to, with the lack of siblings and all. The closest he had to a sibling was Charlie. Unlike Neil, Charlie would share everything with him because he had so much to give. Was it the fact that Charlie's family was rich and that he has at least 3 of each item? Maybe, but Charlie was sure to share what he had with his best friend.

Another thing Neil "the Welton Golden boy" Perry had as a flaw was that he simultaneously wore his heart on his sleeve and yet always tried to hide his feelings. Case in point: when Charlie made a move on Todd.

Now, it's only been roughly 2 semesters since they've known Todd Anderson. Neil had the gracious chance to be his roommate, so in some way, it was like having another best friend aside from Charlie. But what he felt for Todd was vastly different from his friendship with Charlie. Something about the way Todd smiled at him, something about the way he makes sarcastic remarks, something about the way they shared glances between each other every now and then.

Neil was completely enthralled by Todd. Some might say to the point of being possessive. Neil would say protective because Todd was the kind of person who needed to be kept safe. Todd wasn't good at standing up for himself, he wasn't good at speaking the same way he wrote poems. Neil took it upon himself to be the one to make Todd feel the included. He had to be included, he had to be where Neil was.

Thankfully the whole Dead Poet Society thing worked out well, Neil was surprised how well Todd was integrated into the group. They even spent Christmas break as a group with Todd. Things were going great between him and Todd, Neil couldn't ask for more than to share his experiences with Todd.

But one night, a regular ole Study group session, something caught Neil's eyes. Todd was helping Knox out with some love poem, obviously meant for Chris, and he could hear the contents of the poem.

"Hymns from above casted when you're near

Heaven's light shine atop a golden-haired angel

My heart's full of whims and vivid dreams

but in your presence they're obligations I hold close

Be mine and I'll keep your heart guarded

Because mine is with yours, unthwarted."

Neil hears Todd recite their draft poem, hearing it as if it were meant for him to hear. His own golden-haired angel was biting the end of his pencil as Knox was scribbling the rest of the poem. Neil catches himself staring just before Todd looks up at him so he brings his attention back to the trigonometry problem he was answering with Cameron.

He couldn't concentrate on sine, cosine, and tangents at the moment, not when Todd's hand is in his peripheral view; all perfect with it's blemishes and tapping to an imaginary beat. Every so often, he'd steal a glance at Todd's eyes, darting back and forth from his paper to Knox's. He'd be jealous of any pupil Todd would eventually have if he became an English teacher. To be consulted with his sweet voice, to be seated by him as he explains anything, to be taught how to express feelings he wasn't sure how to jot down.

Oh have Todd's untampered attention.

"Hey Todd," Charlie's voice resonates across their small table. Neil accidentally shot his eyes to his friend's direction without skipping a beat. "Mind helping me out with a poem too?"

Since when did Charlie ever ask for help from Todd? Not that he wasn't allowed to or anything, Todd was the right person for this task but-- Something about it wasn't sitting right with Neil.

What wasn't a surprise was Todd's hesitant acceptance. He watched as Todd moved over to Charlie's right hand side and Neil felt his back become warm. It wasn't just his back, his guts turned into an unrested sea, and his eyebrows twitched, trying to avoid a scowl.

"What do you wanna write about?"

"I wanna write about Love." Neil saw Charlie lean forward to look Todd deep into his eyes; for a moment, he thought he saw Todd blush. Neil didn't like Todd showing that expression to someone else, or at least someone like Charlie.

"S-So... We'll use cosine to get X--" Cameron muttered, snapping Neil back to his assignment. He looked at the blurred numbers and symbols, trying to remember what the other problem was.

"Right, cosine-"

Just before dinner, Neil catches up with Todd to walk with him to the dining hall.

"So," Neil started, not exactly sure where to lead the conversation to. "I guess it's spaghetti and meatballs again, huh?"

Todd pushed out a chuckle in response. "Yeah, I guess it is."

Neil had Todd to himself for a tiny moment, for a stupid one-liner too, but it felt like he was in Cloud nine. Todd's calm expression was all he could ask for, paired with his blue eyes looking back at him.

When they reached their table, they assumed their usual spots, Neil being on the left side of the table and Todd on the other. However, Charlie decided to change up the seating arrangement and sat beside Todd instead of him.

There's that funny feeling again. Neil's stomach was nothing but a pit that resembled a deep well without a bucket, nothing to retrieve and remove the sludge that was forming in it. He hated how Todd was so responsive to Charlie's words, how Charlie was so capable of making Todd blush, he hated the sight of Todd rubbing elbows with Charlie as they ate. Neil wasn't sure why he was feeling this way, why he even thought something innocent between Charlie and Todd could make him so agitated. It could all be his imagination.

When Todd left for the bathroom, Neil decided to interrogate his best friend.

"Hey Charlie, why the sudden change of seating arrangement? Thought I was your cute best friend." He tried to sound like his usual self.

"Well, I'm trying to get closer to Todd."

"W-what? Why?" Neil felt his voice crack, much like his confidence.

"I dunno, he's pretty cute. Don't you agree?"

"I--" Neil felt his whole body stiffen, his hand tightened it's pressure on his spoon like a clamp.

"I'm thinking of asking him out soon. No one else seems interested." Neil saw it, he saw Charlie smirk. Neil's emotions became unreasonably irrational, they became unhinged and even if he tried to hide it, they were all bubbling to the surface. Charlie had everything already, he and Neil shared everything before this, but for some reason, Neil couldn't share Todd with someone like Charlie.

"Oh hi, Todd! Welcome back" Neil glares at Charlie while he greets Todd.

"What did I miss?" Todd asks innocently, still taking his seat beside Charlie.

As Charlie began his sentence, Neil cuts him off. "Nothing-" Todd shifts his eyes to share eye contact with Neil. "By the way, we should head back to our room, I need help with my poems." Neil's last attempt of gaining the upper hand on Charlie failed when Charlie brought up his and Todd's prior arrangement.

Neil didn't get it. What did Charlie have that he didn't? Or better yet, what does Charlie not possess yet that he would try to make the moves on Todd?? Neil hated this feeling- this vicious vine-like feeling trapping him. Was it... Jealousy?

Neil's never had much of a reason to be jealous about someone before. He's only been jealous of people who were freer than him-- people like Charlie. Was he jealous of Charlie in that regard? That he could proudly express what he felt for Todd and Neil couldn't? He guessed that was the difference. Charlie did have everything; down to the personality that could make Todd fall for him.

Neil was in Meeks' dorm room, resigning himself in defeat like a pathetic loser he thought he was.

All Neil could do was blankly stare into the shine of the wires that coiled around parts of their machine. A brief knock on their door broke his trance- It was Cameron.

“Do you guys mind if I hang out here? I’m just gonna do my reviewers for a bit.”

“Sure, no problem.” Meeks nods, still measuring out some amount of wires.

“Wait, how come you’re not studying in your room?” Neil questioned,

Cameron took a moment to respond. “Charlie… he wanted to focus on his homework with Todd… Alone.”

This was the last straw for Neil, the final push that made him stand up for once. He couldn't bury his jealousy anymore, he had to confront Charlie.

He left his friends to march his way to Charlie's room. He wasted no time when asking Charlie about his motives.

"Well hello, Perry! What do I owe the pleasure?"

"Quit it-" Neil cuts him off. "Are you serious about Todd?"

"... What?"

"I- I'm asking if you're really interested in Todd?"

Maybe this was all a trick, maybe Neil was just being jealous, maybe Charlie was playing a cruel joke on Neil and he had to shake it out of him.

"Yes." Charlie's expression was ripe with confidence.

With that, Neil felt his world shatter. What was he doing? Was he gonna fight his friend over his feelings for Todd? Was he gonna deny Todd of someone as fun and as romantic as Charlie? Charlie's given so much to Neil and the way he was acting was nothing short of being selfish.

If Charlie really liked Todd, then Todd would be lucky. If Todd would return those feelings, Charlie would be the luckiest man to ever live.

Neil had nothing to offer to Todd that Charlie couldn't top. Neil felt his bitter feelings turn into catharsis, accepting that Todd's better off sharing his moments with Charlie than him.

"T-then... Please take care of him, okay?" Neil buckled his shoulders.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"If you ever hurt Todd-- You're a dead man, got it?" Neil's eyes were like daggers, piercing right at Charlie's own brown eyes.

"R-right..."

Neil figured he had to leave, he couldn't bear to see Todd and Charlie exchanging looks. But this of course wasn't the case. A knock echoed in the room.

When he opened the door, Todd was right there, his beautiful eyes staring up at Neil will a quizzical expression.

Neil assumed that Charlie would most likely profess his love to those eyes, and that knowledge broke Neil's heart.

"Sorry Todd, looks like I'm gonna have to move our study session for now. I think Neil needs your help more. Right, Neil?" Charlie spoke, catching Neil's bewildered expression.

"I'm sure he's got something more important than mine anyway."

Neil looks at Charlie and Todd, bouncing a confused face between them. He sees Charlie's wink before Todd guides Neil out of the room.

Todd sighs as he returns to his room with Neil, his sweaty hands in the midst of sticking to his papers.

How did he end up in this situation?

How could he explain the entire day?

It all started when he told Charlie about his crush on Neil in private. All he wanted was advice from the best friend of his crush and nothing more.

"Glad you came to me, Toddsie!" Charlie pats him on the back excitedly.

Todd didn't like how enthusiastic Charlie was being in this situation, though he was grateful Charlie immediately accepted him for coming out.

"I know exactly how to make him fall in love with you!"

"L-look Charlie, I'm not trying to get Neil to like me! I just-- I just wanted to know how to deal with all these feelings I'm having."

All these feelings- Todd's had these "feelings" ever since Neil shook his hand for the first time in the courtyard. He's never met someone as perfect as Neil. Yeah, he had Father Issues, impulsive actions, even the tendency to make weird noises (but he found those the cutest) and yet Neil made Todd's world move.

Neil's laughter, Neil's smile, the stolen glances he catches Neil casting his direction-- It was all Todd sought after in his recent days at Welton.

"Oh please, Todd, those 'feelings' are straight up love from what I hear. We just have to know if Neil feels the same way!"

"We don't even know if he's interested in men! Charlie- What am I supposed to do?" Todd buried his face into his hands.

"Don't worry, I'll find out a way to not only check if he swings that way, but I can guarantee I can get him to return your feelings."

"That-- That doesn't make any sense, Charlie." Todd wasn't able to question his friend any longer as they dashed into the study hall.

The Study group went on as usual, Todd assisting Knox with his poem for Chris, Meeks and Pitts building a contraption he was sure was the Radio Mark II, and Neil, Cameron and Charlie trying to answer some trigonometry homework.

What didn't help was Neil being directly in front of him. Todd could see Neil in his glasses, unabashedly handsome and very distracting. Todd would try his best to help Knox with his poem but Todd's eyes would linger onto Neil's perfectly "framed" face.

He then hears Charlie call him over. At first, Todd didn't think much of it, but he soon regrets ever telling Charlie of his crush on Neil.

The whole evening, Charlie tried to make Neil jealous without planning it out with Todd first. If Todd had at least known, he wouldn't have been trying picture Neil in Charlie's place as some sort of "method acting" to go along with this scheme. When dinner began, Charlie took Cameron's spot for 'maximum efficiency'. It didn't help when Charlie called him "cute" in front of Neil. Would Neil agree? Would Neil even describe a guy to be cute? Would Todd be able to enjoy his spaghetti and meatballs without Charlie's arm around him?

Todd decided that he should excuse himself to the bathroom for compose himself. (And to evade the plethora of compliments Charlie showered him with.)

When it came from Charlie, it felt like a joke, like a friendly description, really, than an actual compliment. Then Todd thinks if they came from Neil... then those words would make him swoon.

Would Neil even fall for this type of trick? Was it even right to trick Neil like this? Would Neil be even okay with the idea of Todd being in a relationship in with a man? He wasn't even sure if Neil would accept Todd's feelings, let alone feel jealous of Charlie.

As Todd approached their table, he's immediately greeted by Charlie.

"What did I miss?"

"Well Todd--" "Nothing." Neil cuts of Charlie with a serious tone.

Oh no... did Neil find out? Did Charlie rat him out already?

"By the way, we should head back to our room, I need help with my poems." Neil looks up at Todd with an expression that is both deadpan and attractive to him, Todd had no other choice but to accept.

"What? Todd, I thought you'd help me out?" Charlie pouts. "I did ask first." Todd didn't want to miss his opportunity to be with Neil, especially not when he looks at him like that. But Todd looks back at Charlie, raising his eyebrows as if to say "Just go along with it."

Todd was reluctant, of course, he didn't want to perpetuate fooling Neil in any way, but he wasn't sure if Neil had anything to return at all. They were always alone after all, nothing would be stripped away if he spent one evening in Charlie's room to make Neil jealous.

"Right, sorry, Neil. I'll go back to our room after I help out Charlie." Todd replied with a pained expression hidden behind his face.

That evening, when he approached Charlie's room, he hears Neil's voice muffling through. Todd wished had the will to listen in but he assumed it wouldn't be his business if it was said behind closed doors. He took another moment before knocking on Charlie's door.

Neil opens the door for Todd, their eyes meeting briefly, like a celestial occurrence that Todd took note of. Have they always been this brown?

"Hi Todd!" Charlie greets him, breaking him from Neil's gaze.

"Hey Charlie, Hi Neil."

He was expecting Charlie to pull another stunt to make Neil's brown eyes angry, but instead both his and Neil's eyes lifted in surprise when Charlie told him Neil needed his help more.

Did they come to some agreement?

And Todd could've sworn Charlie was winking at Neil... or was it at him?

All these questions didn't matter when they were alone in their room.

Their chests rattled like cages, their hearts ready to jump out at any moment.

Neil bit his lip as Todd took a seat by his desk.

"S-so Neil..." Todd muttered, "Can I ask you something? B-before I help you with your poem..."

"Oh- Yeah, sure."

"What do you think of... of men dating each other?"

Neil lets out a tiny cough. "W- Excuse me?"

"Do you think... it's ok? For two guys to like each other?"

Neil wasn't sure how to respond, was Todd telling him that he liked Charlie? Was Neil too late? Did he miss his chance to tell Todd what he really felt?

"I-- I guess it's alright," Neil answered, slumping his shoulders down in defeat. If he was gonna lose Todd to Charlie, he might as well be supportive. "But- you have to make sure it's the right person." Neil wasn't going down without a fight though.

Todd's face brightened with Neil's response. So 1 part of his query is answered; Neil is ok with the idea of men liking each other. Now it's the question of Neil's feelings for Todd.

"I-If someone, a guy, liked you, how would you feel?" Todd stood up, turning to face Neil. Both of them were by their desks, like two sturdy posts defending their base. Todd awaited Neil’s response with the anticipation akin to a war officer in a meeting room.

"I... would really only prefer it from one guy." Neil took a step forward, with the courage of a powerful Chesspiece during an endgame.

Todd took note of this, mimicking his step, this time walking a bit closer to Neil with his hands in his pockets. "Y-yeah? Who?"

Neil noted this feeling being similar to a spelling bee, like spelling out a complicated word letter by letter, taking a breath to make sure the next thing he was about to say was exactly what the world wanted him to say.

"You, Todd. It's always going to be you."

Todd looks up at Neil, who's now inches away from him from, fully realizing their slight height difference. "I'd say the same for you."

"I hope... I'm not... taking you away from Charlie-" Neil slowly brings his hand to sweep Todd’s hair aside to see his eyes better.

Todd snickers slightly, catching Neil by surprise. "Neil... You don't have to worry about Charlie. I don't have any feelings for him."

"But-" Neil looks concerned, feeling like he betrayed Charlie. "He... He likes you. Todd, I--"

"Is that what he told you? Neil... I hope you won't be angry when I tell you he's been pulling your leg."

Neil jerks his head backwards. "What?"

"I.. Just promise you won't be angry okay?" Todd had to come clean, he couldn’t handle Neil thinking badly of him if he never admitted Charlie's plan. Neil nods before Todd reveals Charlie’s idiotic scheme to get them together by means of tomfoolery.

Neil sighs with a smile, leaning forward to rest on Todd's shoulder. Todd was still getting used to the fact Neil's VERY close right now.

"Well, you guys did a pretty good job of making me extremely jealous." Neil laughs a bit. He was in relief that he didn't need to compete with Charlie.

"I'm... I'm really sorry, Neil. I told him I just wanted advice." Todd looks down with embarrassment.

Neil tilts Todd’s chin up with his hand, bringing his face up to look at him. "You're gonna have to make up for it, y'know?"

Todd’s face simmered under Neil's touch. "I know."

Todd learned that Neil was a Jealous type of guy, not the type to be possessive, but definitely the type to mope around rather than steal someone else's love interest.

Luckily for Neil, he already had Todd’s heart to begin with.

Neil wasn’t used to sharing, but he and Todd shared their first kiss that night. That's a compromise he was willing to do.

Bonus:

Knox, Meeks and Pitts POV:

4 of their friends (the roommates) getting paired up in one night made them:

Thanks again to @sweettodd for that one post that spawn all these POVs haha

Taglist: @anderperrytheplatypus @she-nuwanda @andersonsdeskset @sweetnessbythesea @maisietheweltoncow [tell me if u wanna be added/removed next time]

[cherryobx]

I'm all yours//Rafe Cameron x reader

request: "Hii!! I love your writing! What if Rafe and Y/N have a fling, but he doesn’t make a move or show his motives, so she starts distancing herself from him. Later he finds out that she’s been going out with another guy (totally up to you to decide whether it’s obx character or fictional) and decides to have a conversation with her about what they are (he’s a liiitle too jealous and it makes her mad, but they work it out after a small fight). That’s it!! Hope you like it, have a great day🥰"

summary: Rafe realizes something when he hears that you're seeing someone

warnings: language, mentions of sex (but no smut!), FWB, angst

WC: 1.7k

(not my gif, creds to the owner!)

He was never there when you woke up. It was like a tradition at this point. He always left without you noticing. Of course, some mornings you wished that he’d stay a little longer and just hold you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear. But that was Rafe Cameron we’re talking about. It was nothing more than a friends with benefits situation. Although you wished it was something more. You’d never tell it to Rafe though. He’d just make fun of you for wanting something that was so out of your reach, something almost impossible.

After stretching a bit on your bed, you sat up and tried to rub the tiredness away from your eyes. Your eyes drifted to the alarm clock beside your bed. 7:32. Why had you woken up so early? You blamed it on the coldness of your bed and the sheets. After all it was just you in it.

You stood up, put on an oversized t-shirt and started picking up your clothes that had been scattered all over your bedroom the night before. You tossed them onto the bathroom floor and made a mental note to put them in the washing machine later.

Feeling your stomach grumble with hunger you walked into the kitchen and put two slices of bread into the toaster. You opened the fridge and took out the butter. Lately you had been obsessed with toast with butter. It was heavenly on mornings like these.

As soon as the toast was done, you spread some butter on them. You didn’t care enough to put them on a plate. Or you were just lazy. One of those reasons. As you were eating your toast, you scrolled on your phone, seeing all the pictures and videos from last night’s party. You had decided not to go and just stay home and watch a movie all by yourself. You actually treasured those moments. Rafe came over in the middle of the night and of course he was pretty hammered. You still slept with him though. How could you deny yourself such pleasure?

When you were finished eating, you sat on the living room couch, pulling your knees up to your chest. You felt pathetic, sad even. You were sorry for yourself. You had let Rafe crawl into your life, into your head, and now you couldn’t get him out. He was always on your mind.

“This has to stop,” you mumbled to yourself, as you took out your phone and texted the guy you had turned down a few days ago. He had asked you out but you declined because it felt wrong to go out with a guy that wasn’t Rafe. But now you realized that the smartest thing right now would be trying to forget about Rafe. He didn’t see you as nothing more than a friend, a hook-up.

He replied almost immediately which was a bit weird because it was 8 in the morning but you didn’t give it much thought. You agreed to go on a date with him in the evening.

As you were getting ready to go on the date, you got a text from Rafe, asking if he could come over tonight. You didn’t reply. It’s for the better, you thought.

The guy, Luke, picked you up at 7 p.m sharp and took you to out to eat. It was pretty romantic you were not going to lie.

“You’ve been living in Kildare your entire life? How have I not seen you before?” you asked before taking a bite of your food.

“It may be because I don’t really go to parties.” You raised your eyebrows in surprise.

“You don’t? Then what do you do here? There’s really nothing to do here except parties and golf, if you ask me.”

“Well, mostly I just hang out with my friends, play golf, go fishing. You know, the usual stuff.”

“I’d get bored with that fast,” you laughed.

“Then what do you do here?” he asked.

“Umm, I go to parties, obviously, I’m not lame,” you said, sarcastically rolling your eyes. “But sometimes I surf.”

“You do? Isn’t that like a pogue thing?”

“So, sport is now a pogue thing? Yeah, I don’t label things like that. The whole pogue vs kook things is just pointless in my opinion.”

“If you say so.” He took a sip of his drink.

After dinner, you walked down to the beach and just took a stroll there. It was a beautiful sunset and you even took some pictures with him to remember that night.

“I had a really good time tonight. Thanks for not turning me down like I did you.” He had just brought you home and walked up to your front door.

“No problem. Who am I to say no to such a pretty girl.” The compliment made you blush.

“Also, thank you for paying tonight. I promise I’ll pay next time.”

“There’s going to be a next time?”

“Yes. I mean if you want to.”

“I do.”

“Then it’s settled.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek before entering your home and closing the door behind you. You were actually happy with how this whole thing turned out. You hadn’t thought about Rafe even once this whole evening.

When you stopped answering to Rafe’s texts and calls, he became confused. What was going on? Had he done something to upset you?

After a few weeks in the dark, he heard at one party that you were seeing someone. He felt this kind of tightness in his chest. It was a mix of emotions. Almost like anger but not really. He couldn’t put a finger on it why he felt like this. It was not like you were his girlfriend or anything. Although he liked the sound of that. Y/N, his girlfriend.

He left the party and came over to your place. He banged his fist on the door repeatedly. Je might’ve even woken up your neighbours with all the noise he was making.

“Rafe, what the fuck are you doing here in the middle of the night?” you asked, as you opened the door. You were wearing an old t-shirt and shorts. You looked adorable to him.

“Can we talk?”

“At 2 in the morning? No fucking way.” You started to close the door but he shoved his foot between the door and its frame.

“Y/N, please. I need to speak with you.”

“Then come back at a reasonable hour,” you huffed and rolled your eyes.

“This is a reasonable hour. Just let me in.”

You let out a sight but then opened the door for him. You walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water because your throat was feeling a bit dry. He followed you close behind.

“If you’re here for sex then you might as well just leave right now. I’m not in the mood.”

“Is it so hard to believe that I’m here just to talk to you?”

“You want an honest answer to that?” you asked, raising your eyebrow at him.

“Not really.”

You took a sip from your glass and then placed it on the kitchen counter. “If you’re really here to talk then talk. I want to go back to sleep.”

“I don’t want you going out with that Luke you’ve been seeing.”

“How the fuck is that your business? I can go out with whoever I want. You can’t tell me what to do.”

“Yes, I can. I know what’s best for you.”

You bitterly laughed. “Oh, you do now? Rafe, you don’t know shit.”

“He’s not a good guy for you.”

“And you know that how? He treats me better than you ever have. And that’s a fact. Keep your nose out of my business and go find some other girl to fuck. This,” you waved your finger between you two, “is over. I don’t want to see you anymore. Like ever again. So you might as well delete my number.”

“I’m not going to do that.”

“Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?” The frustration within you was too much to handle as tears started to fall from your eyes and roll down your cheeks.

“Because I love you, for fucks sake,” he admitted, yelling.

You were staring at him in shock. You were speechless and didn’t know what to say. Was this like some sort of cruel prank he was playing on you? Or was he serious? Could it be? It was hard to believe. Why would he admit it now, after all this time?

“I didn’t realize it at first. I was so caught up in myself and my problems. But when I heard you were seeing someone, I freaked out. I didn’t like the feeling it gave me. I didn’t like the thought of you with someone else other than me. It didn’t seem right.”

He slowly walked closer to your, now sobbing, frame. He placed one of his hands on your shoulder and the other under you chin. He lifted it so you’d look him in the eye.

“If there’s a slight chance that you’re feeling like I do, please tell me. If not, I’ll leave right now and you’ll never have to even see me again.”

“I do,” you whispered, not being able to actually talk. Your emotions were overwhelming you as you broke down. He wrapped his arms around you and rubbed his hand up and down on your back in a soothing manner.

“It’s okay. Don’t cry. I’m here with you.”

You stood there for what felt like eternity, crying between his arms. When you had calmed down you pulled away a bit so you could look at him.

“You’re such an asshole. You know that, right?”

He nodded. He knew.

“But. I love you too. Always have been. I tried so hard to forget you. That’s why I started going out with Luke. So I could forget you for a couple of hours. And it worked. But as soon as I got home it was like he never existed. I thought about you. Only you.”

“Well, now I’m all yours.”

“That’s good to hear because I’m yours as well.”

***

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[cinnamon-roll-seth]

Not Good For You || JJ Maybank

Your disapproving father gets into JJ’s head and leads him to believe that he isn’t good enough for you. JJ, believing your father’s words, tries to end things but you’re not giving up without a fight.

You watch in disbelief as a handcuffed JJ gets shoved into the back of the police truck. Kiara stands next to you, equally as shocked, while Pope stands across from the two of you, next to his dad. The three of you watch helplessly as Shoupe gets in the truck and drives away.

Pope starts anxiously walking around grabbing at his hat and then suddenly takes it off and chucks it at the ground, “Shit!” He yells before storming off.

“Pope? Pope!” His dad calls before running after him.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,” You mutter over and over, digging your hands in your hair, “Why the fuck did he do that?! He knew damn well it wasn’t him who sank that stupid boat!”

“Because it’s JJ,” Kiara replies, “Of course he’d take the blame for Pope, he’s selfless like that. He’s always protecting his friends.”

You sigh, “Well sometimes I hate him for it. God he’s probably freaking out right now.”

“Hey, I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s tough.” Kie assures you softly and you nod.

“I sure hope so. Hey I should probably get home, it’s only a matter of time before my dad finds out and if I’m not close by he’ll have a fit.” She nods, knowing how your dad is, and the two of you say your goodbyes before you get into you car and drive the short way back to Figure Eight.

The thing about being a kook and dating a pogue is that everybody judges you. They all think that you’re making a mistake by dating JJ and that someday he’ll end up pulling you into whatever trouble he’s gotten himself into. It’s part of the reason why, although you live the kook lifestyle, you still prefer to hang out with the pogues. You’re kind of like a half kook/half pogue.

Your father, however, is probably the most angry about it. He would disapprove of anybody who isn’t rich, pogue or not, and the fact that JJ is always causing mischief makes it worse. He keeps tabs on your relationship, and JJ in general, like a hawk.

You cringe as you pull into the long driveway and sure enough your father is already standing on the front steps, arms crossed over his chest, “Where the hell have you been?”

“Oh, I’ve just been hanging out with Kiara,” You reply nonchalantly.

“Hanging out with Kiara? Don’t lie to me, I know you were with that dirty delinquent boyfriend of yours.”

“Don’t change the subject,” He warns angrily, “I heard he got arrested?! What the hell did he do this time?!”

“It’s none of your business Dad. Stay out of it.”

“I want you to stay away from that boy. I’ve said it a million times before and you don’t listen but I’m serious this time Y/N. End things with him.”

“Or what? What are you gonna do dad? Lock me in the house like a princess in a tower? You know what, I’m done talking about this right now.” You angrily walk over to the driver’s side of your car before climbing in and slamming the door.

“Where do you think you’re going? Y/N, I swear to god if you start that car you’re grounded.” You ignore him and start the car before speeding away from the house, drowning out your father’s angry screaming.

As you pull into The Wreck’s parking lot for the second time that day you run a hand through your hair and sigh, “Fuck.”

“Hey what are you doing back? I thought you had to get home to Dadzilla?” Kie asks as you walk into the restraunt.

“Yeah well he decided he was going to yell at me as soon as I got there and I wasn’t in the mood to deal with it.” You shrug and sit down at the bar. She nods in understanding but doesn’t say anything else.

“Yeah?” She asks, not looking up from her cleaning.

“Could I maybe stay with you for a few days? Just until all this shit with JJ is sorted out. If I go home my dad is gonna be all up my ass about it.”

“Of course Y/N, you know you’re always welcome at my house.” You smile, silently thanking her, and patiently wait until she’s done cleaning before you both head back to her house.

{The Next Night}

“Just so you know, if you weren’t going to be there I definitely wouldn’t be going to this stupid party.” You tell Kiara as the two of you stare at yourselves in her mirror.

“Oh I know. If it wasn’t for my mom making me I wouldn’t be going to this stupid party either,” She laughs as her mom pops her head into the room.

“You girls almost ready?”

“Yeah we’ll be down in a minute,” Kiara replies and her Mom nods before leaving once more.

Kie sighs and turns to you, “You ready for this?”

You shrug, “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

When you get there the place is already crawling with kooks and the two of you are quick to split from her family and go find Pope. Although he’s not a kook so he isn’t actually a part of the club his dad always caters and Pope usually tags along to help.

You keep a close eye on the crowd, ready to split if you see your father. Finally you spot Pope standing off to the side with his Dad and rush over to greet him.

After a while of watching and making fun of the kooks you turn towards Pope, “Hey, have you heard from JJ?”

“No, you guys?” He asks and you and Kie shake your heads.

“No. He’ll be alright though, he has the survival instincts of a cockroach.” Kie answers.

He sighs, “It’s all my fault.”

“No it’s not Pope, you didn’t do anything wrong.” You assure him.

“Topper almost killed you, remember?” He doesn’t respond as the Camerons’ arrival steals everyone’s attention.

As the night goes on and it begins to get dark the three of you continue to stand aside watching the kooks dance and laugh and live their lives. You continue to keep an eye out for your father, thankfully the closest thing you get to spotting him is catching a five second glimpse of your little brother dancing with some little girl from his second grade class.

At some point you excuse myself to go to the bathroom and push through the crowd into the club.

Unbeknownst to you JJ is outside searching for Sarah after a short run-in with Pope. Finding Sarah and giving her John B’s note was at the top of his list but after that his main focus was going to be finding you. He finally spots Sarah when a hand roughly wraps around his arm and drags him away from the chaos.

“Dude what the hell?!” He yells as he’s dragged away to a little nook in the porch, away from the crowd. The assailant releases the death grip they have on JJ’s upper arm and practically throws the boy forward in front of them.

He stumbles a little before regaining his balance and turning to see Y/N’s dad standing in front of him looking quite angry.

“Oh hey Mr. Y/L/N. What, did you want to do a little future son-in-law and father-in-law bonding? You could’ve just asked, no need to be so rough.” He says sarcastically.

“Cut the shit kid. Look, I don’t like you, you’re dirty and rotten and you’re not good for my daughter. Now I’ve told her to end it but clearly she has other ideas so I’m going to tell you instead. You need to end things between the two of you and move on, and after that stay a far distance away.” Your father spits in a warning tone.

“And what will you do if I don’t?” JJ questions tauntingly, “I mean, my apologies sir, but that’s not going to happen. I love your daughter and I’ll never leave her.”

“You know, despite hanging around you and your delinquent friends, who probably have no hopes or goals for the future and will probably be stuck on The Cut barely scraping by to survive for the rest of your lives, she has aspirations. She wants to go somewhere in life, do things with her life. Things that you, a poor boy from the bad side of the island, who’s always getting into trouble, aren’t capable of doing. Now maybe being with you isn’t affecting her right now but someday soon you will get into trouble that is so deep that you will drag my daughter down with you and everything she wants for her future, everything she’s worked towards and done to achieve her goals, will be thrown out the window.” JJ stays silent, playing your father’s words over in his head as the older man continues, “Don’t ruin her life. End it before she pays the price for your mistakes.” And with that he turns and walks away.

“Yeah, um, no. I stayed at Kiara’s, I’m gonna be sleeping there for a few days.” You answer, tugging at your dress.

“Honey please. Come home with us later, your father and I were worried about you. He told me about your little argument and about you storming off. That wasn’t very respectful Y/N, I thought we taught you better than that.” You laugh in disbelief, shaking your head at her words.

“Did he forget to tell you how he practically threatened me to break up with JJ? How he was the one who started the whole thing in the first place? Of course not and it’s not like you would care anyway because you don’t like JJ either.”

“When did I ever say that? JJ is a nice kid he just...” She trails off and you scoff.

“Y/N, please.” She pleads and you turn around and wave.

“Bye Mom, I’ll see you in a few days when you two decide to stop judging somebody based on their social status and the amount of money they have in their bank account. Oh wait, that’ll never happen.” You reply angrily before opening the door and stepping out into the hallway.

You go outside, scanning to crowd to try and find Kiara, whom you finally spot standing a little ways further down the deck.

“Hey, you alright?” She asks, seeing your annoyed face.

“Yeah, just ran into my mom in the bathroom. It’s fine, she was just being a bitch about the fight with my dad. Blaming it on me like always.” You shrug, turning towards the crowd until the door opens behind you and a familiar voice comes out of it.

You turn around, eyes widening as you watch JJ get pulled outside by the security guard, “Look man I can walk myself! I got legs. Can you see that, brother?”

He struggles against the guard, not even noticing Kie and yourself as he gets pulled past. He grabs a glass from an older man on the way, downing the alcohol inside of it. You cringe as he’s pulled through the crowd, causing a scene and turning all eyes towards him, including those of your father who still hasn’t spotted you.

“Let go of him!” Kiara yells and her parents rush to shush her as all the attention is on the two of you now, “You can’t just boot him!”

You and JJ lock eyes for a moment and you smile but he doesn’t return it and looks away instead. You frown, wondering how long he’s been out of jail and why he hadn’t contacted any of you sooner, and why he reacted that way when he saw you.

“I invited him here! I’m a member of this club!” Kie continues, shrugging off her parents who are desperately trying to get her to shut up.

JJ finally pushes off the guard and apologizes sarcastically before turning towards us, “Hey, mandatory power hour at Rixon’s, Kie, Y/N. Pope, you as well. Rixon’s Cove, lets go.”

Kiara ignores her parents protests and the two of you bolt after JJ and John B as they run away from the party, Pope in tow. The five of you don’t stop running until you’ve reached your destination. You try to talk to JJ but he pretends not to hear you and instead works with John B to start a fire so you sit on a log next to Kie instead.

When the fire is started you smile and pat the seat next to you, hoping he’ll sit there but he sits next to John B and you try to ignore the hurt you feel after. He hasn’t said one word to me, did I do something wrong?

You’re so caught up in your thoughts that you don’t even pay attention to the conversation until Kie nudges you slightly and leans in to whisper, “You okay?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah.” You answer, looking towards John B who’s standing in front of the group going on about the Royal Merchant and his findings about the gold.

At one point you and JJ lock eyes again but he looks away once again.

“All we need it an original survey map of the property and we’ve found the gold.” John B exclaims excitedly and you watch as JJ walks over and throws his arms around him.

You angrily stand up and stomp away from the fire, sick of JJ’s attitude towards you tonight. You don’t know what you did but you’re not going to sit around and let him act like you’re not even there.

“Y/N? Where are you going?” Kie calls but you ignore her, continuing to walk until you get to the beach and find a nice large rock to sit on, staring up at the moonlight. A few moments later you hear footsteps and feel somebody sit next to you but you don’t look over, you already know who it is.

“Can we talk?” He asks and you hum in response, not paying any attention until he asks again more insistently.

“Oh so you’ve finally decided to acknowledge my presence after ignoring me all night?” You don’t know what you expected him to say but what comes out of his mouth next is far from it.

“I don’t think we should be together anymore,” He replies softly. Your heartbeat quickens as you stare back at him with wide eyes.

“JJ, why would you say that?”

“I’m not good for you Y/N. You’re beautiful and rich and you have your whole life ahead of you. I’m just some poor troublemaker who isn’t going to make it anywhere in life. You’re so much better than me. You deserve better than me. I can’t believe it took me this long to see that.”

“That’s not true JJ. It doesn’t matter where you come from, you CAN make it places in life if you believe you can. I don’t want anybody else, I don’t care who they are or what they think they can give me. I only want you.”

“You’re a kook and I’m a pogue. We aren’t meant to be together. We were bound to crash and burn at some point so we may as well get it over with. It’s best that we move on and date people from our own sides of the island.” He refuses to look at you now, staring out into the ocean as you shake your head profusely.

“It doesn’t work that way JJ and you know it. We can’t just move on and love somebody else just because you and I come from different worlds. Romeo and Juliet, remember?” You cry, referring to the nicknames Kie and the boys used to call you two when you first started dating. Tears began to stream steadily down your cheeks.

“Romeo and Juliet both died Y/N!” He yells, raising his voice for the first time, “They were stupid enough to love each other even though they knew they shouldn’t and they ended up dead and if we stay together the same thing will happen to us, except it’ll be the death of everything you could accomplish in your life and I’ll be the one pulling the trigger. Eventually I’ll end up pulling you down to my level and all of your hopes and dreams will die and you’ll be no better than me, a stupid, useless pogue with no purpose.”

“Don’t say that about yourself. You’re so much more than that to me. You’re my best friend JJ, the love of my life. I don’t want to live a life without you.”

The boy doesn’t say anything for a moment as your father’s words from this evening play over in his head. Don’t ruin her life. She’d be better off without you. End it before she pays the price for your mistakes. Finally he sighs, “Well you don’t really have a choice.”

“What do you mean? JJ please, I don’t want to loose you.” You pleaded softly as tears rolled down your cheeks.

Seeing you in this much pain physically broke JJ as he felt his heart break. He always vowed never to hurt you but now here he was doing the very thing he promised not to do. But he couldn’t ruin you, pushing you away now would save you from more pain later.

He could tell that you weren’t giving up without a push and with that thought in mind he opened his mouth and let the biggest lie he’s ever told fall from his lips, “You already have.”

“JJ,” You whispered helplessly as you watched the boy you love so much stand up and turn towards you.

“It’s true. I’ve been falling out of love for weeks but you were too stupidly in love with me to notice.”

“You don’t mean that.” You shook your head as more tears fell, “You’re just saying that to push me away.”

“No, I’m not. You’re so clingy, always up my ass, it’s exhausting. I’ve been mustering up the courage to end things but I couldn’t bring myself to do it, you know? I didn’t want to tell you because I knew it would complicate things and make things awkward between everyone. I didn’t want it to get bad and make the others have to choose between us. I mean of course they’d choose me because I’m a pogue just like them but I didn’t want it to come to that point because I knew you’d have no friends then. You know I feel kind of bad for you actually. You’re so rich and privileged but yet none of the other rich kids like you so you resorted to being friends with pogues because you’re so pathetic that you can’t handle being alone.” With every word that came out of his mouth his heart broke more and more. Seeing the hurt on your face made him want to die. He opened his mouth to keep going but you stood up and held out your hand for him to stop.

“There’s no need to say anything else JJ, you made your point loud and clear.” Your voice was so quiet and broken that he could barely hear what you said, “I’m gonna go. Tell the others I’m sorry.”

As you turn and walk away JJ has to physically fight to urge to run to you and scoop you up into his arms and tell you that everything he’d just said was a lie. He wanted to apologize for all the vile things he’d just said and tell you how much he loves you but he didn’t.

As soon as you disappeared into the woods tears started to freely down his cheeks at a rate that they never had before as he angrily tugged at his hair, “Fuck!”

Thirty minutes later you stared up at the large house in front of you, debating about whether to go in. Tears stained your cheeks and you had to refrain from letting more loose as you replayed JJ’s harsh words in your head. You sighed and opened the large door, closing it behind you.

“Y/N? Is that you?” Your mother’s voice rang out as she appeared from the study.

“Where have you been?” Your father asked from behind her, “Off with your boyfriend again huh?”

“Dad I really don’t want to talk about it,” I reply softly, emotionally drained already, “I’m going up to bed. And he’s not my boyfriend anymore.”

Neither one of your parents responded as they watched you climb the elegant staircase towards your room.

PART TWO

Can y’all believe that JJ is so hot that he brought me out of Tumblr retirement? 🥵 for real though, it’s literally been years since I’ve posted a fanfic on this app but after watching Outer Banks and falling in love with this blonde idiot I was inspired. I literally spent like three days working on this too so I hope y’all like it lmao

[venicebitch1999]

Late Night Confessions

Pairing: Fezco/Reader

Summary: You and Fezco spend some time stargazing. Who will make the first move?

Warnings: Profanity, mentions of underage drinking and drug dealing.

A/N: Hey, y’all! This is my first writing I’ve actually posted, so bear with me. I love Fezco so much, he’s my fucking cinnamon apple and deserves more writings. Let me know what y’all think though! Feedback is always appreciated. ❤️ Much love.

You were currently driving out to your favorite weekend spot, the cliff about three miles out of town that overlooked the city. You and your best friend, Fezco, had made plans to meet up and stargaze. Every once in a while, when you two needed an escape, you would go to your favorite spot and observe the night sky. It wasn’t often that you did this, but you never passed the opportunity up. You loved these little moments with him.

Fezco had been in your life for close to seven years. You had met him the first day of seventh grade, and although people came and went throughout your school years, Fezco stayed by your side. Fezco, eventually, dropped out to help take care of his grandma. When money became tight, he started drug dealing. He thought this would scare you away for sure, but no. Best friends stuck together no matter what.

Eventually, you grew to love him, beyond just friends. He was charismatic, polite, soft-spoken, and protective. He would take a bullet for you. Because you didn’t want to risk your friendship, you kept those feelings to yourself. He had enough on his plate already.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Fezco’s car parked near the cliff’s edge. You were so in love, even the sight of his car had you feeling giddy. You parked your car next to his and unbuckled your seatbelt. You knew he was already waiting for you at your usual spot, a grassy area farthest away from the road. You both thought this area was the best place to see the nighttime skies, as no trees or dirt were present.

You walked towards your spot and saw that he was already laying down on the blanket, looking upwards. You could hardly make out his figure, but you knew he looked just as good as ever. Hearing your footsteps approach, he turned to look at you. You smiled at him, placing your backpack with the radio you both used to play your tunes down, and greeted him with a shy “Hey, Fez.”

He moved over, giving you some room on the blanket to get comfortable and replied “What’s up, Y/N?”

Yep, you were right. He did look good. He was dressed in a simple long sleeved black shirt, gray sweatpants, and his favorite duo, socks and slides. How the hell did someone manage to look so fucking amazing in something so plain? You had no idea, but he did it with ease.

Fezco thought you looked amazing too. Your attire consisted of a cropped red sweatshirt, black leggings, and black high top converse. He couldn’t help but stare at you. You always looked beautiful.

Fez had had a crush on you for as long as he could remember. Before he had even officially met you, he’d seen you at school and thought you were one of the prettiest girls on the planet. The day he mustered up the courage to talk to you was the best day of his life, because that was the start of your friendship. Over the years, Fez watched you grow up. He was there when your first boyfriend broke your heart at winter formal sophomore year, even threatening to beat his ass afterwards. He was there when your parents separated. He was there when you graduated high school. He was there when you dropped out of college to help take care of your younger siblings after your dad’s alcoholism reached its peak. He was there for it all. Your friendship meant everything to him, so he never told you about his true feelings. He couldn’t lose you.

“Oh, you know, just getting ready to hang out with some loser.” you answered, with a wink.

He laughed sarcastically, “Ha ha ha, you think you cute or something, huh?” he said while he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, or something.” you sassed, pulling your speakers out of your backpack and connecting your phone to it before turning it on shuffle and laying down. The sounds of “Ribs” by Lorde started playing.

“No lie, I fuck with this kinda music.” Fezco admitted.

You smiled and looked up at the trillions of tiny, twinkling stars. “Yeah, I know. You haven’t complained once about my music.”

“It’s nice to hear new shit. I like all kinds of music, like that one chick. Uh, I think her name is Lana? Ion know, but she kinda fire.” he commented.

You gave him a little side-eye. “Del Rey?” you asked causing him to look at you.

“Oh yeah! Her. Yeah, she got some hits. Some of her shit got me sad as hell.” he said.

You laughed loudly, “More like all her shit.”

Fezco smiled and you both fell into a comfortable silence. Gazing up at the thousands of twinkling stars, you let your mind wander. You thought about your relationship with Fezco. Did it have the potential to be anything more? You wondered what it felt like to kiss him, to have his hands on your thighs, to feel his arm around your waist. You wondered what it felt like to be called his.

“So.. Rue told me something today.” Fezco said nervously, still looking upwards.

You quirked your eyebrow up, and looked at him. “What’s she gossiping about now?” you asked with a joking twinkle in your eye.

“Ion know if it’s true or what. She said she overheard it at last night’s party or some shit.” he claimed.

Fuck. Last night’s party was a trip, you hardly remembered it. “Spit it out, dude.” you pressed.

“Ight. Well, she said you was fucking around with Cameron Gates. She said someone saw y’all making out? Ion know, that’s just what she heard.” he finally said.

Your eyes widened. “Fuck, I was so drunk last night. I don’t even remember that. I mean, Cameron always tries to get with me at parties and shit, so I wouldn’t be surprised.” you admitted, feeling embarrassed.

“Cameron is a dick. I didn’t wanna believe it, but I mean, you do you.” he said icily. He could feel the jealousy creeping in. He didn’t like knowing other guys were into you.

You looked at him, a little confused at his tone. “Uh, okay? I mean, I’m not into him like that. I was just wasted. Besides, I’m 20. I’m allowed to make out with people if I want to,” you snipped. “I’m not even into guys like him anyways.”

Fezco snorted. “Whatever you say.” he said sarcastically.

“The fuck? We were just having a good time. What’s with you?” you asked him with a glare.

“I mean, you’ve only ever dated guys like him, so Ion know why you lying.” he pointed out.

Yeah, Fez was right. You dated a lot of guys that ended up being really shitty boyfriends who only wanted one thing. In your defense, the one guy that you did want to date had friendzoned you, so you had limited options.

“Yeah, well if I could date who I wanted to, I would’ve never dated those guys.” you said while sitting up. You didn’t like this conversation, you felt defensive.

Fezco followed your actions and looked at you. You looked angry, embarrassed, and hurt by what he said. He instantly felt bad for making you upset. You were right, you were having a good time. He just wanted to confirm what he’d heard. It was selfish, but he was bothered by it.

“I’m sorry, ma. I just don’t fuck with that Cameron guy. He only wants to fuck you and dip. You deserve more than that shit.” he said softly as he grabbed your hand and observed the rings on your fingers.

Butterflies erupted in your stomach. “Oh yeah? And what is it that I deserve?” you asked, with a little smile playing on your lips.

Fezco’s eyes met yours and he placed a tiny kiss on your ring finger. “You deserve everything good in life, Y/N. All the shit you’ve ever dreamed of having, you deserve it. You too good for all these dumbass guys around here.” he declared.

You looked at him and gave him a shy smile. You felt lost for words. Nobody had ever told you that before.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Fez letting go of your hand to trace the small tattoo on your exposed waist. “Can I ask you something?” he inquired.

You hated when people asked that question. Your anxiety heightened immediately. “Um, yeah. Go ahead.” you answered.

“You said you wanted to date someone earlier. Who was you talking about?”

Fuck. Should you tell him? It was always hard to lie to Fez. He knew immediately when you were bluffing. Lying would be obvious, no matter how hard you tried to mask it.

You stumbled over your words, trying to come up with a vague answer. “Um, I mean- Well, I-.. He’s uh- Fuck, I can’t talk right now.”

Fezco raised an eyebrow at you. “You about to lie,” he chided. “Lying ain’t ever get you anywhere with me, mamas. Might as well tell me the truth. I ain’t gonna tell nobody. You and Rue the only people I fuck with.”

You sighed loudly. “Okay. Fine. I’ll be honest, but like you gotta promise this won’t be weird, alright? You’re my best friend. I don’t want us to be awkward.”

He looked at your serious expression and nodded. “Ight, swear on my life.” Fezco was feeling nervous now. Why were you so serious?

You hesitated before speaking. “Um, okay. Uh. Well, the guy I like may or may not be you.” you finally managed to say.

Your face was beet red and your palms were sweaty. You watched as he looked into your eyes for any signs of a joke. He thought for sure this was a prank. There was no way you felt that way about him.

“Like deadass?” he asked, feeling nervous.

“Deadass.” you replied simply.

Wow, he never thought you’d felt that way about him before. He was for sure his love would always be unrequited.

“But it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I love our friendship. We can pretend this never happened.” you stated, feeling a little defeated by his silence.

He laughed. “Y/N, what the fuck? I been having a crush on you. Like ever since you walked onto the fucking playground that day at school and punched Nate Jacobs’ brother in the face for trying to kiss you.”

You were shocked. Holy shit. Fezco felt the same way? No fucking way. All these years, and neither one of you said a thing. How could you have been so clueless to one another?

“Oh my god. We seriously been having secret feelings for each other all these years? What kinda soap opera shit?” you laughed.

Fez laughed with you before taking your hand and kissing the palm. “Come’ere, ma. I wanna give you a kiss. I been waiting like ten years for this.” he admitted.

You moved closer to him and let him grab hold of your waist. You put your arms around his neck and looked him in the eyes. “Then kiss me.” you said.

He moved his head downwards and locked lips with yours. The fireworks that people claim to feel in movies? Yeah, that feeling is real. You had never been kissed with such passion and love before, and you definitely didn’t mind it. His hands moved to your lower back as he pulled you closer. He moved his lips from yours down to your neck, where he placed a chaste kiss to the spot behind your ear, before looking into your eyes with a smirk.

“How about we make this official, huh?” he said.

You laid back down, pulling him over your body. “Okay then, boyfriend.” you winked.

He leaned down to give you another kiss. “I like the sound of that, mamas.”

[eberles]

Love, Rafe ♡

Part 2 - Leaving for College

Rafe Cameron x OC

(gif is not mine, if it’s yours lmk and i’ll give credit)

A/N: Hii everyone! If you have seen the movie, keep in mind that I switched the main characters roles! Any feedback is always welcome! Be sure to tell me if you want a part 2! Happy Reading!! ☺️ Italics is how the last chapter ended!

Warnings: mentions of sex, swearing, angst

Part 1

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“Let’s go get a room for the night.” Olivia whispered in Rafe’s ear to gain his attention back to her. Little did Rafe know that spending the night with Olivia would lead to a series of misfortune’s for him and Zoe.

✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽

"You know what, Rafe? I’ve been thinking that we should just get out of here.” Zoe spoke when they were driving home together after prom. Rafe and Olivia did end up getting a hotel room during prom, but if Rafe was being honest the sex wasn’t great. He enjoyed it, but Rafe didn’t feel any emotional connection towards Olivia and he always believed that was a big part of having sex for him to think it was amazing. He planned on staying the whole night with Olivia in the hotel room, but after they had sex he felt extremely guilty about it and left to find Zoe. 

“We can go to your house to hangout if you want.” Rafe responded not understanding what Zoe meant.

“No Rafe! I was thinking more like Boston, Massachusetts...for college! Think about it, we aren’t going to get anywhere in life if we stay in Outer Banks...and my parents think I have a good chance at getting a scholarship to Harvard.” Zoe spoke softly, not sure how Rafe would feel about leaving his home.

“You’re serious?” he asked, surprised.

“They have one of the best Law programs, Rafe! And you can come and go to Boston College! They have a really great Hotel Management and Business program!” Zoe said getting excited just thinking about the two of them leaving and being in a new city together. Zoe knew Rafe always wanted to own his own hotel one day and she intended on helping him achieve that dream.

Only two months later and Rafe received his acceptance letter from Boston College in the mail. He was ecstatic. Nothing could change the high he was feeling from being accepted into his dream school. That is, until there was a knock at his front door.

“Hey Olivia, what are you doing here?” Rafe was confused to see Olivia at his front door. He assumed after their weird sexual encounter on prom night he wouldn’t being seeing her again.

“I’m pregnant, Rafe!” Olivia didn’t waste anytime when she pushed Rafe out of the doorway and made her way into his home. Immediately, he could feel his stomach turning and his vision going blurry at her words.

“You-you’re what? But we-we used a condom, I don’t understand.” Rafe stuttered over his words, trying to wrap his brain around what was happening.

“Well, apparently it broke, Rafe! What are we going to do?” Olivia asked. But she had already planned to keep the baby. She always wanted Rafe and now she was going to have him forever or at least for the next 18 years.

“I don’t know! I need to think about this, please.” Rafe pleaded with her, hoping she would get the hint that he needed to be alone right now. 

“Fine, but we have to discuss this, i’ll be back.” Olivia spoke calmly and let herself out of Rafe’s house, smirking to herself once she got outside.

From Rafe: Zoe, can we talk?

From Zoe: I wish! But i’m at dinner with Jeremy and his family!

From Rafe: Ok, have fun

Rafe has never felt worse about himself in those moments. He just found out he was maybe going to have a baby and now he can’t even discuss it with his best friend in the whole world. He felt as if his entire life was coming crashing down around him right after his future was starting to look really promising. 

✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽

“Hi, i’m so sorry i’m late, but I have news!!” Zoe said excitedly as she sat down in the chair across from him at their favorite lunch place, The Wreck.

“So do I.” Rafe said a little sarcastically. It had only been a week since Olivia told Rafe she was pregnant, and he hadn’t said a word of it to Zoe.

“I got a scholarship to Harvard, Rafe!” Zoe squealed holding up the letter and waving it around in his face.

“Oh my god! Zoe! That’s so fucking amazing! I’m so proud of you!” Rafe spoke genuinely while trying to meet her excitement.

“It’s crazy, right? Did you hear back from Boston College?” Zoe asked with hopeful eyes.

“No, no, I haven’t.” Rafe broke eye contact as he spoke to Zoe, knowing if he looked at her she would know something was wrong. She always did know everything he was feeling just by looking at him.

“Well, i’m not worried, you’ll get in! My flight is in three days, but you’ll be right there with me right?” Zoe spoke trying to remain hopeful that they would be able to leave Outer Banks together.

“Of course!” Rafe said it but he knew he couldn’t leave with Zoe, or at all until he got the baby situation figured out with Olivia. Rafe knew it was ultimately Olivia’s decision, but he still hoped she would think about their future’s and look into getting an abortion or even having the baby put up for adoption.

Exactly, three days later, and Rafe and Zoe were in the airport saying goodbye before Zoe left for Boston.

“Tell me now, do you want me to stay?” Zoe asked as she looked up at Rafe with wide eyes. She felt terrible that he hadn’t heard back from Boston College yet and was hoping he would ask her to stay with him. 

“No, Zoe, you have to go! I’ll be right there with you before you know it!” Rafe lied, but he couldn’t bare to see the look on Zoe’s face when she found out he might not be joining her in Boston at all, let alone that it’s because he got a girl pregnant.

“Okay, but just remember that I am with you all the time, no matter how far apart we are.” Zoe spoke softly as she pointed to Rafe’s heart and poked at his chest a little with her finger.

“I know, Zo. I’m gonna miss the hell out of you.” Rafe said, looking deeply into her eyes and pulling her into him for a hug. Zoe stood on her tippy toes to meet his height and wrapped her arms tightly around Rafe’s neck while he held onto her waist for deer life and closed his eyes soaking in the moment. 

Rafe pulled away a little still holding her waist, but keeping his forehead touching hers. Zoe could feel his breathe on her face and her heart started to race as she moved her eyes from his lips to his eyes a few times. The two of them stood there, foreheads touching, lips almost connecting, heavy breathing, and hearts beater faster than ever before for a moment debating if this was the right thing to do. Zoe was looking into Rafe’s eyes when he closed his and started to pull his forehead away from her. He knew if he kissed her he wouldn’t be able to stop.

“You’ll keep in touch right?” Rafe said while blinking back the slightest of tears attempting to pool in his eyes. 

“Always, and you’ll be with me before we know it!” Zoe spoke before bending down to grab her suitcase. Rafe nodded his head at her and smiled at her as she started backing away from him waving slightly.

Rafe watched as she walked towards where the plane was boarding keeping a smile on his face until Zoe was no longer in his view. As Rafe was walking out of the airport his phone started to ring with a call from Olivia.

“Hey Rafe, just thought I should let you know, i’m going to keep our baby.” 

Part 3

taglist: @maaybanks @maybankiara @ssjiara @fav-imagines @jjmaybankx @drewsephsmiles @downbytheouterbanks @beautyandthebleh @spilledtee @rretrophilee @teeks-konecny @kitluvs1 @snkkat @pixelated-pogues​ @hoodcal96 (let me know if you would like to be added!!)

[collecting-stories]

Test Drive - t. 01 - Sarah Cameron

Summary: After a bad breakup you convince your roommate and best friend to go to one last party with you where she makes an unexpected move.

A/N: I love Emily Burns’ EP/Album Seven Scenes from the Same Summer and I get serious Sarah vibes whenever I listen to it. 

7 Scenes from the Same Summer Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

-

♡don’t make me your test drive for the weekend♡

“I hate to be the one to say this but I think you need to get out of this room and do something. It’s been almost a week Sarah-” You commented, rummaging through the suitcases of already packed clothes for something to wear to the party you’d been invited to.  

The comforter on the other bed moved, Sarah’s head peeking out as she wriggled around to look at you. “We were together for three years! Three years of birthdays and holidays and dates and vacations-“

You rolled your eyes. It was no secret that you were not a fan of John B and his whiny ‘pay attention to only me’ attitude that demanded all of Sarah’s time when he was visiting. When they broke up you had practically thrown yourself a party. “I know, I know. But you aren’t gonna move on from that laying under your blankets. When was the last time you took a shower babe?” 

“Is my personal hygiene really all that’s important to you?” 

“No, my best friend not totally losing it over a guy is though. You’re 3 hours away from home Sarah and he’s acting like you live on another continent. If he ‘can’t handle’ you going to college then why do you wanna be with this guy anyway.” It was the same argument you had with her every time that she fought with him about their schedules, the only difference this time was that they were totally broken up. A screaming match that you were forced to endure too.  

“I love him.” 

“I know you do,” you said, trying not to sound sarcastic, “but let’s push all the love down and just focus on what kind of douche calls you two days before the biggest final of the year and tells you that you’re selfish for asking him to come out to visit for the weekend.”

“He knows I can’t leave during finals! I never focus when I study with him!” Sarah complained, pushing the blanket down a little bit further.  

“Why’s that?” You asked though you knew the reason. You were desperate to get Sarah to this party with you and you needed her to actually get out of bed to do that.  

“Because,” she said, “because he doesn’t let me! It’s always ‘I’m bored’ and ‘can’t you do that later’ and ‘aren’t I more important than stupid books’ like I’m supposed to drop everything for him!” 

“What a dick.”

“He is a dick...” she agreed, trailing off as she flopped over onto her back and pulled the blanket up.

“Oh my god, you were so close.” You cried in frustration.  

“I said-“

“Yeah, I got the train of thought that just happened.” 

“What am I gonna do? What if we never get back together?” Sarah asked, sitting up in bed and brushing her hair out of her face.  

“I can’t imagine.”

“I just want him to call me and tell me he changed his mind or something. Like it was all a dumb fluke.” She face was blotchy from crying and she was picking at a tangled piece of hair near the end.  

“Sarah,” You stressed.  

“I know!”

“Listen, that girl from the third floor, Annie, is having a party tonight. Why don’t we go? It’ll be nice.” You finally said, defeated that you couldn’t bribe her out of bed and trying it the straight forward way instead.  

“I don’t wanna go to some lame party, I just want to be left alone.” 

“Okay, well I’m gonna...Victoria’s gonna be there, from my econ class, so I’m gonna head up there.” You confessed.  

“You’re ditching me for a hook-up?” Sarah practically screeched looking at you in annoyance.

“You said you wanted to be alone!”  

“Yeah like, go in the other room and watch tv while I sulk not abandon me for Victoria from econ!” She hated Victoria from your econ class. And she hated that you were thinking about some girl while she wanted you to be thinking of her.  

“Well...depending on the night I might very well be in the next room before the parties over.” You said, offering her an awkward smile.  

“Hooking up with her is worse than abandoning me for a party.” 

You groaned and stood up, walking over to bed and laying down next to her. “I haven’t dated in months babe, and I endured countless weekends sitting on that couch or going to Starbucks while John B ‘visited my you. The least you can do is let me have this.” 

“Fine but I’m coming with you. The last thing I need is Victoria from econ thinking I’m a loser cause I’m moping in bed on a Friday night.” Sarah said, climbing out of the bed.  

“That’s the spirit!” You cheered, raising your arms in the air and fake cheering.  

“Seriously?” 

“Whatever gets you out of bed.” You replied.

“I’m still upset!” Sarah snapped, digging through the suitcases you had just been crouched in front.  

“I know, I know.” You insisted, sitting up, “wear the leopard print dress.”

“I’m not trying to hookup with anyone. I’m only going because I have a reputation to maintain and Victoria from econ is the worst!”

“Maybe, but I heard she’s really good in bed.” 

“Is that all you care about?” She laughed for the first time in two days.  

“I literally cannot explain to you how little sex I have had all year. Besides the last party I went to that kid from Poly Sci grabbed my boob...and only because he tripped and put his hand out accidentally. That was the highlight of the last three months.” 

“I’m not wearing the dress.”  

“You look so good in it!” You said, already imagining Sarah in the spaghetti strapped leopard print mini dress.  

“Really? I think it’s a little tight across my butt.” She confessed, pulling it out and holding it up.  

“It’s tight everywhere, that’s the point. Besides, you have a great ass so who cares.” 

“Oh tell me more.” Sarah teased, turning to the side and popping her leg to pose for you.  

You grabbed her pillow off the bed and threw it at her, “get a shower! We’ll do praise Sarah Cameron hour later.” 

“Fine but your starting with how great my ass looks.” She said, grabbing her toiletries bag off the back of the door.  

“Super! Get a fucking shower and let’s go! Victoria-“

“From econ awaits. I get it!” The door slamming behind her was the last sound you heard as you flopped back onto the bed and tried to  figure out what you were going to wear to the party.  

-

“Did you find her?” Sarah asked, sitting on the arm of the couch, turned in toward you, knees almost touching. You were sitting on the windowsill scoping out the party.  

“Yeah, Annie snatched her up, literally. They are already in Victoria’s room by now I’m sure.”

“Annie does not wait.” Sarah commented, taking a sip of her drink.  

You groaned, looking down at your chest. “God, I should’ve gotten like breast implants or something instead of the nose job.” You grabbed your boobs for a second, squeezing them and then crossing your arms under your chest to push them out more.  

“I don’t think fixing a deviated septum constitutes a nose job.” Sarah teased, casting a look down at your mostly exposed boobs. The top was low-cut already and when you sat like that it offered up more of them to look at. “And besides, your boobs look fantastic.”

“You really think so.” You pouted at her, leaning so she was almost forced to look at them.  

“Oh my god, yes now get them out of my face.” She laughed, pushing you away from her.  

“Ugh whatever. You’re no fun.”

“I’m loads of fun.”

“Incorrect. I dragged you all the way here to this banging party-” You said, bobbing your head on the word banging.  

“You’re so embarrassing, why are we friends?”  

“-told you how great your ass looks and you can’t even flirt with me to make me feel better.” 

“Were you that invested in Victoria?” Sarah asked.  

“No, I just really need a good hookup or something. A girlfriend preferably.” You sighed, slumping against the window.  

“Those are two different things. And I heard Victoria only does hookups.”

“Is it so wrong to imagine Victoria from econ going down on me and then realizing what a fucking hot girlfriend I would be?” You asked. You could definitely imagine it, even if it wasn’t Victoria that you wanted to have as a girlfriend.  

“How would that work?”

“Forget it, you’re not bringing me down to your level.”

“My level?”

“Yes, your level, of being in a shitty mood. I’m going to remain hopeful that Victoria from econ will come back to the party, sweep me off my feet and, preferably, fuck me into oblivion.” You said, matter-of-fact.  

“Amazing.” Sarah replied.  

You sat up a little straighter when you noticed the door open and two girls enter the party, going their separate ways. “Ha! Look, I knew it.”

“What? Oh my god, they’re back already?” Sarah caught sight of Annie going over to a group of friends and whispering. One of the guys in the group put his arm on her shoulder and for a second Sarah imagined herself at a party like this with John B. Dancing and drinking, his hands on her.  

“Annie has the stamina equivalent of a goldfish’s attention span. She never lasts and she barely reciprocates.” You informed, not noticing your best friend’s distracted state as you watched Victoria from across the room.  

“How do you know?”

“We hooked up in September.” You shrugged. Your first college hookup.  

“You never told me that!”

“We weren’t friends yet! You were just some weird straight girl with a hobo boyfriend.”

“Wow.” Sarah exaggerated the word, rolling her eyes at you.  

You smacked Sarah’s thigh when Victoria glanced your way, turning to your roommate and best friend, trying not to look too excited. “Oh my god, she looked over, act interested in me.”

“We’re already talking?” 

“Like, pet my arm or something.”

“Pet your arm?” Sarah asked in disbelief.

“Just-“

Sarah grabbed your face in her hands, throwing her last bit of caution out the window, crashing her lips to yours. Quite literally, she pressed herself closer to you as she kissed you and you somehow pulled yourself enough out of the haze to kiss back, eyes closing without even looking to see if Victoria was still paying attention. All you could focus on was Sarah’s tongue wetting your bottom lip before slipping inside your mouth. Her tongue caressed yours and her hand ran down your neck and over your back before she was groping your breast in her hand, squeezing the soft skin through your bralette. She captured your bottom lip between her teeth, tugging gently as she pulled away.  

When you opened your eyes, she was staring at you, wide eyed, hand still holding your breast and the other cupping your cheek. “I-“

“Dorm?” You chanced asking.  

“Yes.”

She stood up, straightening her dress with one hand while you held the other, leading her through the crowd of people as if you were trying to make it back to your room before the momentum wore off and you were just roommates again. Victoria called your name when you got close to the door, having seen the entire kiss from her spot. 

“Sorry, can’t talk.”

Sarah cocked an eyebrow at her as she passed, throwing up the middle finger before she was totally out the door. She had always been annoyed by Victoria and it always had everything to do with how much attention you paid the girl in your econ class. But now you were pulling Sarah along and Victoria had subsequently lost. 

-

Sarah felt for the handle, back against the door, as she kissed you. Her other hand was in your hair, pulling you as close as she could as she tried to get the door to the dorm open. She didn’t want to think too much what this meant for your friendship or her relationship with John B or herself, all she wanted to do was enjoy this moment and the feeling of you against her. She finally got the door, tumbling through it and almost losing her balance but your arm around her waist caught her.  

“Holy shit,” she laughed and kissed you, not wanting to lose the moment as she walked both of you backward through the small common room to your bedroom.  

“Maybe you should open this door the right way,” you teased, your hands on her waist gently guiding her to turn around.  

She stepped back just enough to press her ass against you, looking back over her shoulder and smiling, “does that only work on straight guys?”

“No, that definitely working.” You laugh.  

Once you were both through the bedroom door and had it swinging shut behind you Sarah resumed kissing you, hooking her hands around the back of your neck and connecting her lips to yours. She walked backwards until her knees hit the bed. You pressed your body against hers, hands on her waist trying to bunch her dress up from there.  

She disconnected from you for a second, pulling the leopard print dress over her head, hair flying over her shoulders, and leaving her in nothing but a nude colored thong. You choked down a laugh and she frowned at you. “Not the reaction I was expecting,” she said as she grabbed at the hem of your dress.

“We have the same underwear on.” You replied and Sarah looked at you, eyes sparkling with laughter. She could remember when you’d convinced her to impulse by half the collection of Skims and then you’d both spent weeks flashing each other at random points during the day to tell the other how comfortable your clothes were.

“I fucking hate you.” She mumbled as she kissed you again, pulling you down onto the bed with her.  

When you propped yourself up on your elbow to look down at Sarah you could totally understand why John B wanted so much of her attention, though you’d spent an entire school year with her so it wasn’t something you were clueless to before. But she looked beautiful, laid out on the bed with her hair fanned out around her. She smiled at you and you leaned down to kiss her, lips brushing against her and then moving along her jaw to her neck and collar. You kissed the underside of her chin down to her clavicle while your free hand ran up her side, running your fingers along the underside of her breast and feeling goosebumps rise on her skin.  

Sarah’s eyes drifted shut at the sensation of your lips sucking a bruise into the skin above her right breast while your hand grasped her left, brushing your fingers over her nipple and then twisting it between your thumb and finger. She moaned, running her hand through your hair and holding on at the base of your neck. She guided you further down her body, your mouth pressing kissing all around her right breast.  

She moaned when you finally licked across her nipple, flattening your tongue against it and then sucking on her breast making her dig her nails into your arm. Sarah had a way of making a person dizzy with her. She could make you forget everything but her just by smiling or biting her lip but feeling her under you, getting to taste her slightly sweaty skin had you more in awe of her than you’d ever been before.  

-

“It’s cool with me if this is just a rebound or whatever, I get it. But we’re friends and I should be totally honest with you.” You said, staring at the ceiling so you didn’t have to meet her eyes. “I’ve had feelings for you pretty much since August when we started texting. I didn’t say anything cause I didn’t want you to feel weird or to think that I was trying to encroach on you and John B cause I would never but...after what just happened, I feel like whatever you choose to do, you should know.” 

“That you like me?” Sarah asked, laying there with you in the afterglow, her fingers brushing designs into your stomach and sides. She had never even really thought about being with a girl before...not really. Sure, Kiara had a girlfriend and when they first started dating Sarah had wondered what it would be like but not seriously.  

“Yeah.”

“Since August?”  

“Oh yeah, hardcore.” You nodded as best you could laying down. She hadn’t let go yet, that had to be a good sign.  

“What about Victoria from econ?”

You shifted, sitting up so you could look at her. Sarah sat up across from you. Finally you explained, “She’s hot and the exact opposite of you and that was definitely the point. But hooking up with Victoria wasn’t going to change the fact that I liked you. It might’ve lessened the blow of ya know, not seeing you all summer. This definitely won’t do that.”  

“I don’t really know what to say.” She admitted.  

“You don’t have to say anything, I’m just telling you, to be up front and cause...I want you to feel comfortable and I know you’re going through a lot with John B right now and the year is over. I also wanted to tell you that I totally understand if you want a new roommate next year.” 

“No, no, are you kidding me? Kiara’s roommate was a fucking psycho all year! I am not rooming with a stranger! My luck I’ll get stuck with fucking Victoria from econ!”

“You really hate Victoria.” You laughed.  

“Of course, I do! With her fucking stupid ‘I’m summering in Portugal’ and ‘once I made out with an ambassador’s daughter at a fundraiser for poor kids’ and ‘I speak three languages’.” Sarah said, mocking the way Victoria’s voice always sounded, “she’s the worst.”

“How many times have you talked to her? I’ve never heard any of those things.” You said, trying to think of how much you actually knew about Victoria.  

“Spring break that you bagged on! She fucking showed up and spent like three days telling me dumb stuff about herself, like, bitch I don’t care about you.” 

“Okay,” you laughed, “I think we’re getting a little off topic, let’s revisit the conversation we were actually having.” 

“I don’t wanna go back to the eight.” Sarah moaned, leaning over and pressing her face close to her ankles. “It’s gonna be Kiara feeling conflicted about who to hang out with and everybody being weird about parties and seeing John B pop up every five seconds because that would be my luck!” 

You bit your lip, weighing the options of asking Sarah back with you for the summer now that the two of you had just had sex. “Well I’m not sure how enticing it would be but, you could come with me back to Philly for the summer.” 

“What would we do in Philly?” Sarah asked, looking up at you.  

“We can go to museums or head to the shore for a day or go eat a 14oz burger or get cheesesteaks and giant slices of pizza or recreate the Rocky scene or go to a farm or see Amish people....” you listed, “any of these.”

“Eating. The cheesesteaks sound good.” 

“Philly has banging food.” You said, nodding.  

“Okay.”

“Seriously.”

“Yeah, okay, I mean we’re friends.” Sarah shrugged.  

“Yeah, of course, and we can stay friends.” You agreed. You knew you had feelings for Sarah and now she knew that too but you weren’t going to let them come in the way of your friendship.  

“Yeah. So, yeah I‘ll go to Philly with you.” 

“Okay.”

Sarah sat there for a moment before, looking around the room, before looking back at you and pouting. “Hey, do you think we could still cuddle cause I could really use it right now.”  

“Yeah, totally, I’m coming in for a cuddle.”  

-

taglist: @maplelattes22 @poguesrforlife  @freckled-and-daydreaming  @chasefreakinstokes @millie-753 @fangirlwithme @alex12948 @howdyherron @katherine097 @tangledinsparkles @tragicmisfits @carbonated-beverage @mariofgreengables @damonsalvawhore27 @dopedoodes @dolanfivsosxox @belledutchess @poguelifeeee @jjsthumbring @faded-blue @parkerpetertingle @thebookwormlife @summer-clouds-and-long-days @jellyfishbeansontoast @minigranger @louisolos @hoewkeye @love-someone-special @finecelle @vitaminekabc @tiredfeels @g4bster @strangerthanfanfiction713 @the-only-nana @tomzfrog @mozz-are-lla @vindictive-hearts @poguestyleskye @ssprayberrythings @pensysto @jenahbell @beautyandthebleh @lavenderxraindrops @gothackedalready @teenwaywardasgardian @sarahcxmeron @hvitost @haha-fuck-you-thot @stillbelieve398-5 @rewindlr @queenniccimicci @kissessforharryyy @thedarkqueenofavalon @alytavzla @bqmblebee @linniep @nerdypartytrashpsychic @xxchxrryxx @spencer-reid-is-a-cutie @mirjanak @kwjune @danielladreaming @obx-saltlife @youngestxhearts @spnobsessedmemes @wowitswondergurl @siwiecola @regev1408 @celestialmaybank @mybnkjj @averagxfangirl @mysterious-adventurer @justawilddreamerchild @rhyetaylor62 @calm-rejects @99sxuxii @oh-annaa @katiaw2 @aiifandomsunite @marteenuhh08 @x-lulu @kitkat0609 @ceruleanjj @yoxsh06 @wicked-laugh @obxwriterfan @justkeepdreamingswift @allie-mcginn @pcterparxer @literarycharleton @khiaraaa-in-spacee @crushe-s @teamnick @daydreamlilys @poguesnobx @collectiveuniverses @activist-af @mdgrdians @buckys-sunflower @vindictive-hearts @copper-boom @thatsme-johnbookerroutledge 

[imsorrymom124]

Then there were two

 JJ x reader :)

dedicated to @sexualparkour​ because I see her under every JJ x reader fic I see I swear.

Also this is a part one, my first fic i have written (on here, throwback to middle school wattpad days YIKES) so I will keep writing if anyone is interested :)

There was only one rule that mattered to your friend group, and that was no pogue on pogue macking. You knew why the rule existed but you wanted more than anything for it disappear.

You met your friends at different times in your life. Kiara came first, you have been friends for almost 10 years, after meeting during the first grade orientation day where you spilled orange juice all over your new dress and she felt so bad she did the same to herself, so no one would laugh at you. That’s how you knew she was going to be your best friend. As you guys grew up, you started to add on to your circle, John B was always the leader of whatever activity he was doing and so he took charge after he joined. He brought Pope and JJ into the mix and that was that, your closest friends were suddenly all together.

And you liked it this way, you guys were closer than anybody you could think of on the island. You surfed, smoked, and talked about all of your problems together, you felt so lucky to have friends like these. Pope and Kiara were the logical ones of the group, whenever JJ talked about doing something insane, they were the ones to help talk him out of it. John B and you were the ones who could kind of get down with some of JJ’s outrageous ideas, and there was a reason for that. You always had a slight crush on JJ, but then again calling it slight was an understatement. JJ was crazy and irresponsible and sometimes it felt like unstable, but you knew he was much more than any of that.

“Dude, you are staring into space what is so interesting.” JJ said, poking you and pulling you out of your nostalgic trance.

“Ow! I was just thinking about how happy I am that we are all friends.” I said looking around the fire, to all of the pogues. They smiled and laughed in response, they felt it too. Sarah Cameron sighed and out her head on John B’s shoulder, they were really cute together. She had just joined the group after John B revealed they were dating, which was a mess at first but you all had accepted her as one of your own, despite her being the ultimate kook princess. 

“Okay guys, we are running low on beer and weed, I am gonna have to call it.” John B said, rising from the couch holding onto Sarah.

“Yeah, I have a lot of deliveries to make in the morning, I should go.” Pope said rubbing his eyes and checking the time. “Ki, I’ll walk you home?” he said as he held out his hand. Kiara looked at him and smiled. 

“Sounds like a plan to me.” She took his hand and they started to walk back from the beach, Sarah and John B not far behind.

I turned to JJ and wondered why he didn’t go with them. “Nowhere to be, Maybank?” I questioned. 

He smiled briefly but then you saw it falter. “I don’t need to be home right now, too much of a downer.” He said, pushing his blonde hair back.

 I knew that things at home were not good, his father was a drunk with a bad temper, I knew why he was the life of the party most times, he didn’t want the party to end. 

“Besides,” He said meeting your gaze. “I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to hang out with the great Y/N and smoke my secret stash.” He suddenly pulls a bag of weed out of nowhere and raises his eyebrow at you. 

“You in?” he asked. You weren’t much of a smoker, but smoking with him was always fun and you had to admit, you wanted to know how it would go if you two were alone. 

“Roll it up.” you said with new-found confidence. He seemed surprised at your enthusiasm, but he just chuckled and opened up the bag.

***

“Do you think you could ever leave this place?” JJ said, lying beside you on the beach, watching the stars light up the night. 

You turned to look at him before answering, he looked unreal to you right now. His blond hair was blowing with the sea breeze and his blue eyes were so bright, even in the dark somehow. Maybe you had smoked a bit more than you usually did. 

“I don’t know, I love this place more than anything in the world. It’s my home, everyone I know is here and honestly the idea that any of my life is going to change freaks me out.” You rambled. “But at the same time, I know if I want to make anything of myself I need to get out of here, go to college and get a job or I’ll end up stuck like my parents.”

As you heard those words leave your lips you were surprised, you had never told anyone that before. “Do you think you could?”

 JJ paused for a moment before answering. “I think about hopping on a boat and never looking back all the time, Y/N.” You felt your heart sink at the idea of him leaving. 

“But, there’s you guys who are here and I couldn’t up and leave. No matter how bad my dad beats the living hell out of me, I can’t finish packing my bags.” 

JJ had never openly admitted to you about his father’s abuse, you knew of course, but hearing it out loud made it more... real.

 “I’m sorry.” You say suddenly. 

“What do you have to be sorry for?” He asked looking at you. You turned you head down out of shame.

 “I’m sorry I can’t do more to help you sometimes.”

 JJ was silent for a minute, you were afraid you had said something wrong. 

“I’m not anyone’s burden to bear. I can take care of myself, I have since my mom died.” He said plainly. 

“You don’t have to though, we are all are here for you JJ. No matter what you do or what crazy plan you hatch, we will be there to catch you if you fall.” You said. 

It was quiet for a while and then you felt his hand on yours. Your breath hitched from the sudden contact from him, but you let your fingers intertwine with his. His hands were rough, but you liked the feeling.

“You know, I don’t know what I would do without you.” JJ said, breaking the silence. You giggled, thinking he was being sarcastic, like he always was. 

“I’m serious, you are always there.” He said more sternly. 

You blushed and smiled at the thought of JJ thinking of you as someone important in his life “Well someone has to keep you from doing half the things you think up.”

JJ sat up and pretended to be offended. “I have literally never had a bad idea in my life.” He said.

You sat up as well. “Oh yeah? How about the time in ninth grade when you decided that you were going to jump Topper because he liked Ki and you were jealous?” 

“Okay, that wasn’t a fair fight. He brought his kook clan to a one on one fist fight.” He exclaimed. 

“Oh yeah, you would have beat him no problem Maybank.” I say sarcastically lying back down. 

You turned to look at him and you saw he was just smiling at you. You felt better than you ever had in your life under his gaze.

“It’s really late, your folks are going to kill you. I’ll walk you home.” He said, standing up and motioning for you to follow.

You whine at the thought of walking all the way home. “Do I have to?” You said.

“As much as I would love to get killed by your old man for keeping you out late and smoking you up, you have to get back home.” He said chuckling to himself at your laziness.

You throw your hand up so he can help you stand up and he smiles and grabs it. Of course you hadn’t accounted for the fact that you were still incredibly high and you lose your balance almost instantly. JJ grabs you and pulls you into him out of reflex. You are mere inches from him, both faced towards each other. He looked up at him and he met your gaze. You could feel his breath on your lips and it sent shivers down your spine. You could have sworn you saw him look at your lips but, he suddenly laughed.

“Someone can’t handle the good shit.” He said pulling away, to your disappointment. 

“Shut up, I am just clumsy.” You say defiantly. 

“That you are, now let’s get your high ass home.”

You walked back to your house and saw the beginning of sunrise on the horizon as JJ turned to leave.

He paused and turned back. “We should do that again.”

You smiled and answered very quickly. “Yeah we should.”

He smiled to himself and waved goodbye before you went inside. You went up to your room and fell onto the bed, thinking over the events of the night. You almost could have sworn JJ was going to lean in and kiss you, but that was insane. That would be breaking rule number one, and although JJ breaks a lot of rules, and laws, that’s one he held to a high standard. But, you couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to kiss JJ. You fell asleep, dreaming of him.

[ryujinzs]

between us — series.

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Ruined love life and academic life a chaos, this is your life. To help further, your best friend starts dating a boy - completely unknown - and you have to try to be friends with him.

Warnings: angst 

Count: 4K

Previous chapter: here.

Two weeks passed. Yes, two long weeks passed. Penny continues to date the bulky haired man whose name is Shawn - I found out the next day, since we met. And Wes keeps ignoring me. I stopped trying to run after him, Penny's advice, who's pretty professional at it.

It's saturday night and Penny had the brilliant - not so much - idea of going to a party. I don't really like parties, but I decided to go and have some fun.

After the bath I choose something comfortable, but also beautiful. Penny is so gorgeous in a blue dress that I feel ashamed of the rags I'm wearing. And when she sees me in the living room, her eyes widen.

"What the fuck?" I look around and feel confused.

"What?"

"What is this? For God's sake?"

"Eh... My clothes?" I say it was obvious, but I know what she's insinuating.

"Ah sweetie, what I do with you?" She sighs and holds out her hand to me. "Come here."

I follow her to her room and I feel like I don't belong here. It's a mess, very different from mine.

"I'll go make-up you, okay?"

"Not too much. Please." I say really low and I see a small smile on her face.

And after a while, after fiddling with her makeup case, she turns me to the mirror and I like what I see. I'm a catastrophe with these things, but Penny does it so well that it looks like pure art. My eyes are pretty lit, outlined with long eyelashes and my lips are slightly reddish, nothing extravagant.

"Now the clothes, I won't let you go with these." She points quickly at my jeans. Penny rummages in her own wardrobe and pulls out a white shorts, a tank top with a black silk-like fabric and a pair of strappy heels. "Go, get dressed. I'll be waiting for you."

When she leaves, I pull the strip of the shoe with my finger and notice how tall it is. I let it fall in the floor and sighed. In two minutes I'm ready. My hair is stuck in a ponytail and the clothes fell very well on me. I stare at the mirror once again and leave Penny's room.

Penny praises me and then we get off to get our ride, in case, Shawn. I'm a little surprised by their relationship, it's been a week and they seem closer than ever, it's weird, because my best friend isn't like that at all. But I wouldn't complain, he rides to me and Penny whenever we need, then it's okay.

When we get on the street, he's parked with a heavy denim jacket molding his body. Penny runs into his arms and hugs him, they kiss and exchange compliments; like a lovey-dovey couple. I stand waiting for the good will of the two who continue to clutch in public in the middle of the street, at last, I roll my eyes irritated.

"You too, disgusting. Can we go?" I say and Penny shows her tongue, laughing. Shawn looks me up and smiles.

"Look who's cute today!"

I raise my eyebrow and Penny slaps his shoulder.

"So you mean I'm ugly?" I swing my head when I get into the car and they do the same.

"I would never." He looks at me in the rearview mirror with that crooked smile on his face. I roll my eyes and turn to the window. I know he's a bit of a jerk when he wants to, but he can be cool too, sometimes.

When we arrived at the house of the party host, it was possible to see several cars and drunken people in the street. What I hate at parties, people don't have self control and it gets rather disgusting. Penny hugs Shawn and walks with him to the door, as soon as they enter I see him talking to several people, maybe he's very popular. Penny already has a glass in her hand and once again I feel out of place, but it was to be expected.

"Who is this?" A guy a little shorter than Shawn and with brown hair looks at me with a half smile on his face.

Oh no.

"My best friend, Y/N." Penny smiles.

I thank her mentally for thinking that I don't know how to speak, let alone present myself. I look at the boy and smile, he does the same. He leans into Shawn's ear and says something I can't hear since the music is very loud. Shawn smiles at the boy and after that hits his back, fading away with my friend.

"Cameron." He says at last, drinking his beer or whatever he has in that glass.

"Hi." I say, trying to keep up with his excitement.

"You're beautiful, you know that?"

What?

I feel my face blush. I smile weakly and he understands this as a thank-you, and I thank him for that.

Someone shouts outside the house and Cameron widens his eyes. Without asking for permission he holds my hand and drags me through the midst of several people. The back area is large and there is an extensive pool, many people are inside it, including people without clothes.

"Oh shit!" He says angrily and goes out to the boys who are jumping in the pool with beer. I laugh when a boy throws a fair amount of water on Cameron. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Seconds later, I lose sight of him.

I stand and watch people dancing and having fun. Until green eyes cross mine and my stomach twists instantly.

"Y/N?" He says with a smile on his face. Damn perfect smile. I turn and go back to the living room. If I'm going to have to face Wes, I need a drink. I take the glass on the shelf and turn it around. "Please, wait..." He pulls at my arm, but I let go.

"What do you want?" There's disappointment and heartache in my voice and he notices.

"Um, are you mad at me?" I raise my eyebrows and stare at him sarcastically. He can only be fucking kidding me. Really.

"Are you serious?" I just can laugh right now. "You're an idiot." I turn and keep walking, but I know he's following me.

"Let me explain, please. It's not what you are thinking!"

"Explain what, Wesley? What?" Ipractically scream, but nobody around really pays attention since they are drunk. "You want to explain why you just disappear after kissing me? You know how I felt bad after that? Oh, of course, do you want to explain yourself why you were avoiding me and just ran away when I showed up at the store that day? Do me a favor." I dump all my anger on him, all the same. When I look at him, his eyes are staring at me with no emotion, I can't say, but he continues.

"I like you." He says low, but for some work of life, I listen. I look at him wide-eyed and choke on my own saliva.

"You what?" I ask again, emphasizing the last word.

"I like you." He leans against the wall and lowers his head. Now I'm confused. Too confusing. "I know I was stupid when I avoided you, but I didn't know what I was feeling. You're my best friend and I really like you."

Oh, God. My body suddenly came on alert, I no longer knew if it was the beer or just the sensations Wes gave me. I open my mouth to respond, but at the same moment Cameron comes up with another glass of beer and stares at me.

"Is everything okay here?" I think he's a little drunk.

"Of course it is." Wes says, looking directly at Cameron.

Why do I get the feeling that they are burning out through their eyes?

"I talked to her, asshole." Cameron says seriously.

Oh no.

"And I'm answering for her, asshole." I look at the two of them and realize they are approaching in an intimidating way.

"Guys..." I put myself on the two of them and ask God not to want to kill themselves. "Stop it, damn it!" I look at both of them and they finally stare at me. "You." I point to Cameron who looks at me confused. "You're drunk. Do not make a scene." Then I turn to Wes. "And you..." I sigh, remembering our conversation. "We still have to talk."

"What's happening?" Suddenly Shawn appears with Penny at his side.

"Two people acting like stupid teenagers. Just that." I roll my eyes and walk past them.

I knew coming to this party would be a bad idea, but I thought I could have some fun. First I see Wes, then he says he feels something for me and then Cameron almost gets into a fight with him. My God, why does everything have to be so messy and dramatic?

When I realize I'm already outside the house and I sigh as I feel the fresh air invading my lungs.

I cross the street and find a concrete bench near an abandoned square. I don't know what time it is, but I don't care. When I sigh I see the smoke condensing in the air, coming out of my lips. It's really cold and Penny's clothes only make it worse. I want to leave, but I don't have a car and I'm a little bit drunk.

I feel a great urge to cry, not because of what happened, but I'm sensitive and alone in a cold bench while everyone is filling up and having fun at the sound of any loud music.

I don't know how long I'm sitting here alone, but I watch Shawn come and walk toward me.

"Hey." He sits beside me. I don't say anything, because I really don't know what to say. "Why are you out here?" He turns around and I do the same.

"I'm tired and I want to go home."

"You want to tell me what happened in there?" His hand touches my shoulder, and then he opens his eyes and removes his hands from me. "Fuck, you're freezing." I laughed weakly and shrugged. I feel really cold. "Wait a second." Shawn gets up and crosses the street to his silver car. He opens the trunk and pulls out a huge sweater, I think it's a sweatshirt. "Here."

"Thanks." I take the sweater from his hands and smile. When I put it on, stretches up to half of my thighs and I laugh. I didn't know he was that tall. "Do you keep clothes in your car?"

"You never know when I'll need it." He smiles a little mischievously and I roll my eyes angrily.

"Ew!"

"Cameron was really drunk, I'm sorry if he did something you didn't like."

"It's all right." I sigh. "At least I kept Wes from being beaten." Shawn laughs and folds his arms.

"And you and Wes?" He looks at me. "Did you guys talk?"

"Kind of..." I wring my lips, remembering our brief conversation. "We were interrupted by your drunken friend.

"I hope it all right." Then no more, he gets up and walks back to his car. I stare at him without understanding. He turns and looks at me. "You don't come?"

Your car is a bit warm and it makes me calm. Shawn is driving to my apartment so far we haven't said a word at all, but I'm grateful he's kind enough to offer me a ride.

The sound of the radio scares me as I'm focused on the landscape all around us. A lively song plays and from the corner of my eye I see Shawn tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. He is very focused while driving.

"Shawn?" I call him. He turns around quickly and switches his gaze between me and the lane. "May I ask you a question?"

"You kind of did." He laughs. I roll my eyes.

"Really." He agrees. "You really like Penny?" It was automatic. A smile appeared on his face as soon as I spoke about her. I think things are going beyond what I imagined between them.

"Yes, I do. She is amazing."

She is. Penny is amazing and all the boys are so lucky to have been with her. She's been my best friend since high school and all the girls envied her. She's funny and beautiful, smart as hell. She knows how to win someone and how to make friendships. Let's say that we're somewhat different, but always wanted to be a bit like her, to have this ease of interaction with people. I can tell you that Shawn is lucky to be with her. Maybe she's lucky too. He's a nice guy, after all.

"Why are you asking that?"

"She's my best friend, I want to see her happy. I just wanted to know if you really like her as you seem to like." I shrug and he smiles.

"So that means you like me?" He was playing with me, a tremendous idiot.

"Don't do that." I say seriously, but he keeps smiling.

But in the end, I smile too.

When he parks in front of the condo, I jump out of the car and thank him for the ride.

"Hey." I turn and lean against the window of the car.

"Yes?" I ask looking at him.

Shawn smiles and sighs.

"If you need anything, you can call me."

I raise my eyebrows and laugh through my nose. What?

"And why would I call you?"

"Because we are friends." He grimaces and I pull away.

Are? Are we really friends? I say nothing, but I wave as he walks away. Shawn is really dumb, but he's a cool jerk. When I get to my floor, I open the elevator door, and when my eyes hit the floor hall, I start to feel my hands on my chest.

"What are you doing here?" I'm still holding the elevator door. I'm confused and I think the drink is finally working, as I see Wes sitting in front of my door.

He gets up and stands right in front of me.

"I left right after you. I thought you were coming here, so you were late and... Anyway, I was expecting you." He shrugs and sighs.

Oh God, was he waiting for me all this time? I know it may sound stupid, but I smile with his gesture and realize that it means he cares about me, otherwise he wouldn't be here.

"Oh, all right." That's all that comes out. "Lets go in." I take the key out of Penny's shorts pocket and open the door. I give Wesley space to get in and close it down.

I don't know what to think. I know we should talk about your feelings, but things happened that hurt me and I can't rule it out. Wes stood in the living room. He reaches into his sweatpants pocket and bites his lips. Damn it. Why does he have to be so charming and handsome? It's hard to resist like this. Focus. That's it, I need to stay focused.

"Whose clothes are these?" He points at my body. I look down and then I remember I'm dressed in Shawn's sweater, which fell like a huge dress on me.

"Shawn's."

"Ah." That's all he says.

"I'll change my clothes. Feel free." I gesture with my hands and walk away.

My heart 's a thousand. Did he think the wrong things about me being Shawn's clothes? Hope not. I take off my sandals, pull out all Penny's clothes and fold. I put on the black cotton pants and a long blouse. It's not so cold in here so I feel comfortable wearing this kind of clothing.

When I go back to the living room, I see Wes with his arms on his knees and his head down. He kicks the floor frantically, must be a nervous tic or something. But he's still lovely. He notices my presence and looks at me with a crooked smile. I sit on the other couch and staring at him, seeking something to say to end the embarrassment between us.

"I guess I should start by apologizing." He says in a sigh and sits down on the couch, getting into a position where he can look directly at me. "I'm sorry that I left way that day, it's just that I wasn't sure what I was doing and when we kissed it was like... I can't explain. It was good and I wanted to do it a long time ago, I swear." My heart is so fast that I'm afraid to end up having a heart attack. "I avoided you because I were fighting the obvious. I didn't want to believe what was happening, not after all my past...

"The obvious?" I ask in a trembling voice.

"I like you." He smiled. "How could I not like you?" You were my best friend when I had no one and supported me. You are awesome. Funny, beautiful and that's all I wanted." The butterflies in my stomach were making a random flights marathon inside me. "I really like you. Do you forgive me for being an idiot?"

 I was incredulous. Happy and incredulous. I could not say anything. I think I'm numbed with truth and happiness.

 "Yes." I say lower than I should.

 Wes smiles and gets up, I follow his movements and I shiver as he approaches where I am. I lean on the arm of the sofa and look up. His body leans close to mine and I stare into those green eyes, the beautiful green eyes he has. Her rosy lips are screaming for me to approach and touch them, and by God, I want it so much ...

"I'm gonna kiss you." He says quietly and I agree. He rests his arms on the side of my body and fits his leg between my legs and I lay my head on the sofa according to his approach. I shift my gaze from his lips to his eyes and I open a smile that ends up making Wes smile too.

He sticks his hand into the back of my neck and makes me raise my head a little, enough for him to reach me. And when our lips touch, my body seems to explode like fireworks on New Year's Eve. His lips begin to move over mine in a slow and delicious rhythm, I follow his movements and reach his face with both hands and try to pull him closer. I feel my legs weaken as his tongue moistens my lips and asks for passage, without delay I make our tongues meet and dance together during the kiss. I lower my hands to his sweatshirt and touch his skin underneath with his fingertips. Just like the last time. And this time he does not back down. It makes my chest rise and fall so fast, I don't know what I'm feeling, but I'm definitely happy. His abdomen is hard and I stretch my hand feeling every inch of his skin. "Y/N..." He whispers between the kiss.

I open my eyes and Wes does the same. We are so intimate and close, with a crazy desire of each other. I can feel the warmth of his body, even with all these cloths between us.

"Let's go to my room." I say without much thought, but he agrees.

He holds it in my hand and as soon as we enter, I close the door and he presses me on it. This time he kisses me with fury, desire and despair. His hands are on my face and go down to my waist. I smile and secure the hem of her sweater and do not think before pulling it up. Wes walks away to help me and I sigh heavily when I get the sight of him throwing his clothes into another corner of the room.

His shirt goes up a bit, exposing his body to take his breath away. I approach and kiss again. He walks with his hands behind me and sits on the edge of the bed. His hand goes down to my legs and I understand the "message". I move my legs to the side of his body and sit on his lap. Wes separates for a moment and carries me to the middle of the bed. Her hands wrap the thin cloth of my blouse and pull in a single movement, but unfortunately the cloth gets stuck in my hair and it makes me laugh like an idiot.

"Sorry!" I pull at her blouse and it finally falls on the bed. Wes laughs and runs his hands over my bare shoulders, then stares at my bust and looks up into my eyes. "I totally broke the mood, huh?"

"No way." He kisses my shoulder. "It only makes me want you more." He traces the kisses up my neck. I toss my head to the side and close my eyes. I think I'm losing my senses.

"Oh yeah?" It comes out like a moan, but I do not care.

"Yeah."

Wesley kisses my pulse point and it weakens me. His tongue moves slowly across my skin, crawling and sucking my neck with mastery and caution. When I'm ready for the next step, I hear a noise coming from the room and it sounds like a shout. Wes looks at me startled, and I get up in a hurry to get my sweater on, anyway, and I open the door.

Penny is yelling at Shawn in the living room, I can see from the hallway. I don't want to intrude, but I'm a little scared and since all the mood between me and Wes went downhill, I'm still standing at the door listening to everything.

"Shut up. Shut the fuck up, you idiot!" She shouts angrily. I've never seen her like this. "Who do you think you are to talk to me like that, huh?"

"Fuck, Penny!" He rattles, but I realize that he is much calmer than she. "I've apologized thirty times. After all, you should do this, right?"

"What? Me?" She screams. "I didn't do anything."

"Stop yelling, your best friend is home."

"And? Are you going to be worried about her now? Why did you give her a ride?"

They're fighting over me, is that?

"She was bad, my Godness! Don't you realize how selfish you are? Penny, you're too drunk. Why don't you go to sleep?"

"Because I want to know why you were with that slut!" Is she talking about me? Is she really talking about me? "Fucking answer me!" I hear the sound of something breaking and my heart is racing. I look back and Wes is still shirtless, but he's after me.

"I wasn't with Laura, I told you five hundred times!" I feel a gigantic relief when I realize it's not about me. "You're being paranoid, damn it!"

She is silent and I wonder what is happening. Then I hear a strange noise, but I can see when Penny hits Shawn's face hard. He opens his eyes and I feel like I need to do something.

"Penny!" I say loudly and they both look at me.

He stands still, but foaming with rage. Penny stares at me and looks ahead, seeing the anger on the boy's face she has just assaulted.

"Oh my God, I... I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." She tries to kiss him, but he grabs her wrists and pulls her away with a lack of coolness. He says nothing, just walks off and Penny goes back to the door. I look at Wes who understands nothing and run after her. Shawn is trying to open the elevator door and Penny is basically pulling him into the house in tears. He's at all costs trying to get away from her and I don't know exactly what to do. "Don't leave me. Please. Please. Please. I'm sorry, stay with me."

But he's so impassive that I doubt he will yield to Penny's requests.

"Hey, Penny..." I grab her shoulders and try to pull her into the house. I'm lucky my neighbors are so nice because it's late and Penny is making a scandal outside. "Lets go in."

She turns and grabs Shawn's arm, preventing him from leaving.

"Ask him to stay. Please, make him stay." Your eyes are very red and I feel a little pity. When she drinks, she ends up passing the limits.

"You're not well, Penny." I look at Shawn who's staring at me with the same old face. "Tomorrow you talk, now please, let him go."

"He's going to fucking leave me!" She screams in anger and a little of... Sadness?

"Fuck, Penny. You're drunk, why don't you listen to your friend?" He almost screams, I see that he's losing his patience.

She shrugs and releases his arm, Shawn says nothing and leaves. Meanwhile, Penny falls sitting on my feet and has just cried.

Almost two hours later I can get Penny to sleep. I showered and made a strong coffee. Now she's finally sleeping like an angel. I hope she doesn't go crazy early tomorrow. If she remember everything she did, it will make a scandal of those.

Back in my room, Wes lying looking at the television on. He was patient and cute in waiting for me. He stayed with me all the time, even after I insisted on leaving. When I close the door he gets up and sits down. I walk up to him and sit on the bed next to him.

"I'm sorry for today and for keeping you waiting." I run my hand over my face, wishing this night will just end soon.

"Hey, you don't have to."

"Yes, I do. I fucked up with your night."

"But the night isn't over yet." He says with a smile. He gets up and pulls the duvet down, lies down again, and pulls me to his side. I fit next to his body, it's extremely comfortable to lay on Wes's body as he strokes my hair. I know we planned other things tonight, but in the midst of so much confusion, I ended up at his side, in bed, sleeping with him. I don't know why, but I don't want this to end.

[theoldestsoultrilogy]

First and foremost, it saddens and sickens me to hear that yet another Hollywood child star has died. The world woke up to the shocking news this morning that, according to about 20 billion articles online which all contain a freakishly consistent uniformity,

“Cameron Boyce, best known for his roles in a number of Disney Channel films and television shows, has tragically passed away at the age of 20. According to Boyce’s family, the young actor, dancer and singer passed in his sleep after suffering a seizure, the result of an ongoing medical condition.”

This young, absolutely adorable, freckle-faced boy at the beginning of his life is now gone. For good. How are we to make sense of this utterly tragic news? But, what if I told you, like with most if not all child star deaths, all is not what it seems.

What if you knew there was more to the story? A lot more.

It took me less than 20 minutes of digging to connect Cameron Boyce to shady charities involved in child slavery, pedophiles and predators, and dicey elites like Richard Branson. All while the evil overlords at Google seem to have begun dramatically ratcheting up their control of the flow of information. These draconian measures seem to have increased in the past week, which was not a good one for squeaky clean, allegedly family friendly Disney.

https://twitter.com/Tiff_FitzHenry/status/1145017021794529281

Disney megastar Bella Thorne revealed that she was being molested from the time she was 6-14, AND EVERYONE AROUND HER KNEW, AND NO ONE DID ANYTHING.

I want you to think about that for a moment. Let it sink in. Who could or would allow the sexual abuse of a 6 year old to go on? Why might they do this?

Once you begin to allow yourself to mull these horrific questions, and mull them we must, you’ll start to find the timing of Cameron Boyce’s sudden death particularly odd. Are other Disney child stars, with stories like Bella’s to tell, becoming emboldened? Had Cameron experienced similar things? Did those closest to him turn a blind eye? How plausible is it that a person who’s been famous for 11 years dies suddenly of a supposed health condition that’s serious enough to take the life of a perfectly healthy-seeming 20 year old and yet this mystery condition has never been mentioned before? Not anywhere that I can find at least.

Today I just want to present you with 10 relevant facts you likely may not know about Cameron Boyce his career and the people who surrounded him, but as always I want you to draw your own conclusions, think for yourself, and feel free to share your thoughts with me on Twitter.

Start here: Cameron’s IMDB. It is extensive and includes not only a long list of Disney shows and films such as Jessie, Shake It Up, Good Luck Charlie, and the recent Descendants, but also Grown-Ups and Grown-Ups 2, a new TV series called Paradise City (a spin-off of the very obscure and not successful 2017 film American Satan) cause, obviously.

As well as films such as Mirror and Eagle Eye which Cameron starred in alongside fellow former Disney kid Shia LeBeouf

and Cory Booker’s reluctant “girlfriend” Rosario Dawson, whom an inside source has shared with me has no say in the situation whatsoever. A virtual slave.

https://twitter.com/Tiff_FitzHenry/status/1144082428551712768

Alright, here we go.

1. SOCIAL MEDIA DEATH HOAX IN 2017

When you start to understand more deeply that the information that reaches you is being shaped and molded in order to shape and mold YOU, and that celebrity influence is owned and controlled for the very same reason, you’ll begin to look at things like “leaked nudes” and even “death hoax’s and rumors” a little differently. You’ll start to consider that perhaps these are tools used to influence the influencers, to modify behavior when they’re off message, or stray from their instructed course. Here Cameron Boyce and his Descendants co-star Dove Cameron joking about the ‘death hoax.’

But can you imagine anything more traumatizing than seeing headlines tearing across the internet announcing your own death to the world? Consider the possibility that things like fear, humiliation, and loss of control are used to keep celebrities in line. Consider the possibility that this was a veiled threat.

Case in point, the front page headline on Snapchat the very next day after the recent bombshell Bella Thorne interview [posted above] went viral.

The humiliating ‘story’ was snagged from a random Instagram post back in 2016, but it just happened to be front page news the day that articles in major outlets were carrying the story of the revelations from her recent interview.

For the record, Bella herself retweeted the video of her interview from my original tweet. Kinda makes you think, right?

2. MEET KENNY ORTEGA

Friends, if you haven’t heard the name Kenny Ortega, I guarantee that you soon will. He is an A-list Hollywood Choreographer and Director whose #MeToo moment is rumored to be decades overdue. He is the Director of Cameron Boyce’s most recent Disney project, the Descendants (parts 1, 2 and 3) where he played the fictional son of Cruella De Vil.

With a long list of impressive credits including everything from Disney’s Newsies, and the mega-hit High School Musical franchise to Dirty Dancing, and Pretty in Pink, as well as a distinguished run directing iconic music videos and live tours for the likes of Gloria Estefan and Michael Jackson, Kenny Ortega is the Hollywood equivalent of a mafia ‘made man.’ As if to prove it, which the cult loves to publicly do, Netflix (cough cough the C.I.A.) just entered into a very lucrative multi-year overall deal with Ortega, announced April 9th 2019.

So, how does one become a ‘made-man’ in Hollywood?

There are several ways, all of which involve selling your soul.

One way is to appear as the key witness in the $40 million dollar wrongful death lawsuit brought by Michael Jackson’s mother and three children, and lobby on behalf of concert promoter AEG.

‘He wasn’t being very responsible!’ This Is It producer Kenny Ortega testifies Michael Jackson and Conrad Murray were to blame for untimely death

What’s the big deal anyway? Ortega’s longtime ‘friend’ and admitted ‘greatest inspiration’ is already dead, Dr. Murray is in prison and everyone who profited the most off MJ rode off into the proverbial sunset. Zero accountability. Suffice it to say, Kenny Ortega is on Paris Jackson’s very telling shit list, right next to Oprah and David Geffen.

3. CRAZY DAYS AND NIGHTS 

Another way to get on the inside of the Hollywood Prison Pyramid is to be a compromised and or compromise-able person (depending on what level you’re at.)

You see, Hollywood might look like it’s about movies and TV shows and acting and stuff, but it’s really just about something called “controlled influence.” It’s about owning and controlling all those who are ‘given’ the platform to influence YOU. In order to get that platform you have to be ‘willing to do anything.’ Even as a screenwriter with several hot projects, I was instructed to say these very words. Words which I was told, in no uncertain terms by my high powered agent, that the head executives at places like ABC (Disney) were waiting to hear me say. Yeah, let that sink in.

And, think about it, isn’t it easier to own people who routinely do things that could put them in jail if anyone ever found out? This is why sick degenerate behavior is rampant amongst the influential. They’re not only enabled to get away with it (see Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, Matt Lauer, Louis C.K., James Gunn, Brett Ratner, Les Moonves, etc.,) criminal behavior is encouraged! Yes, Hollywood and Washington are a cesspool by design! Neat, right? 🙄

It’s my opinion that the death is referring to Cameron, the ‘director’ is Kenny Ortega, and the franchise is High School Musical or the Descendants, where underage actors and actresses were and are being ‘turned out’ — all as a part of this cesspool system. When it comes to the children, it’s the parents who sell their soul on their behalf.

There’s a long list of Creepy Kenny Ortega stuff to dig up, the latest clip wigging people out is his handsy way with Cameron Boyce’s Descendants co-star Dove Cameron.

Moving on.

4. THE KENNY ORTEGA JEFF BEZOS CONNECTION

As if you needed one more reason to claw and hiss at Kenny Ortega should you ever encounter him, he’s been involved with C.I.A. Amazon Jeff Bezo’s now ex-wife’s ‘anti-bullying’ organization, Bystander Revolution, which she founded in 2014 for whatever dumbass reason.

No seriously I bet this foundation is really changing the world you guys (she said SUPER sarcastically)

5. ORTEGA, EISNER, SANDLER OH MY!

You can learn a lot by who says what, and when. The very first ‘public figures to address Boyce’s death on social media this morning was Kenny Ortega, followed by Disney CEO Michael Eisner, and quickly thereafter by Adam Sandler. Sandler wrote, starred in and produced Grown-Ups and Grown-Ups 2; Cameron Boyce appears in both.

To the keen observer, this little tweet parade felt extremely coordinated, intentional and quite frankly pre-planned.

View this post on Instagram

My Love, Light and Prayers go out to Cameron and his Family. Cameron brought Love, Laughter and Compassion with him everyday I was in his presence. His talent, immeasurable. His kindness and generosity, overflowing. It has been an indescribable honor and pleasure to know and work with him. I will see you again in all things loving and beautiful my friend. I will search the stars for your light. Rest In Peace Cam. You will always be My Forever Boy! 💔

A post shared by Kenny Ortega (@kennyortegablog) on Jul 6, 2019 at 7:42pm PDT

“My forever boy.” Yeah, that’s not creepy at all.  Ortega later clarified that this was a Peter Pan reference, which makes it even worse if you understand the pedophile troupes in Peter Pan.

https://twitter.com/RobertIger/status/1147858501021995008

https://twitter.com/AdamSandler/status/1147859788794961921

Nice picture Adam, real subtle. Don’t worry, you’re ‘signal’ has been sent and received.

Adam is being such a good cabal puppet these days ya’ll.

Here you see he’s being rewarded:

Netflix reveals 30M accounts viewed Adam Sandler-led ‘Murder Mystery’

At a time when box office is limping along like the terminally wounded wildebeest it is, allegedly this film would have CRUSHED opening weekend, had it been released at the box office of course, which it wasn’t. I guess we’ll just have to take Netflix’s word for it since they (somehow) get to keep all their data to themselves for whatever as yet explained or justified reason! 👍

Now that I think about it, there’s someone else who does that too. They’re really powerful and super secretive, who is that again? Oh that’s right, it’s the C.I.A.! (Netflix is the C.I.A.)

I’m sure the fact that Murder Mystery was filmed at cabal kingpin George Clooney’s favorite lake in Italy where weird high brow art/child trafficking things go down, and written by an actual fucking Vanderbilt has nothing to do with anything.

I’m sure all that’s random. It’s not like there’s this handful of psychopathic elite bloodline families feasting on the blood of children who’ve held humanity hostage for generations or whatever.

Alright, onward internet friends. As you may have noticed, there are thousands of images of Cameron Boyce online. You have to really search to find this one where he’s got two fingers framing his left eye and covering his mouth, as if he’s been silenced by some group (hint: see above paragraph).

Well done, Adam. Good thinking choosing this picture to post alongside your tribute. This might even get you an Emmy nomination. You see, Adam isn’t bloodline, so he has to do stuff like this to keep his cult membership in good standings.

Note another very recent sudden celebrity death. This is Mac Miller’s final Instagram photo, which posted just hours before his death by ‘accidental overdose.’

Well would you look at that, 2 fingers framing his left eye, and his mouth covered. Almost as if it’s a sign to others not to speak out or they’ll whack you

Here’s the final Instagram picture Cameron “allegedly” posted of himself, also just hours before his death. There’s that left eyes again. Hmmmm.

6. CREEPY JOE BIDEN

Cameron introduced former Vice President Joe Biden at his Biden Courage Awards back in March. Today, Biden tweeted his condolences.

https://twitter.com/JoeBiden/status/1147991178689810437

I think we can all agree that children and Joe Biden don’t mix.

6. HE RECENTLY FIRED HIS AGENT OVER SEX ASSAULT CHARGES

After Stranger Things child star Finn Wolfhard fired APA agent Tyler Grasham over sexual abuse allegations which came to light, Cameron, who was also represented by Grasham, fired him the same week.

However, in predictable Pedowood fashion, the LA prosecutor won’t prosecute the felony rape charges from multiple accusers. Now it looks like he’s escaped criminal charges altogether, and Hollywood is even looking at rehiring him in a talent agent capacity.

At this point, there’s no disputing that Hollywood protects pedophiles. The question you should be asking yourself is, why?

7. RECENTLY DISCUSSED THE DARK DAYS

“For about a year of my life, if I didn’t have to leave my house, I wouldn’t,” he said in a recent interview of his darkest period. “It was a bad way of dealing with fame, but it’s a scary feeling to know that everybody is looking at you all the time.” Cameron has learned to cope with it, though, and is adamant that he’ll use his platform of over 7 million Instagram followers for good. He’s started working with a charity called The Thirst Project, and is spreading the word about the group’s push to bring clean water to millions around the world who desperately need it.”

8. THE THIRST PROJECT / WE CHARITY

It appears that Cameron Boyce was involved with two separate but equally suspicious charities (side note: charities are just slush funds for rich people).

The Thirst Project’s list of partners includes the notoriously dicey Clinton Charities among multiple Hollywood studios. By its own admission they appear to be all about water but in reality focus most heavily on tailoring curriculum to influence political activism in school children in the United States (which is what the very powerful are most focused on right now).

Similarly, WE Charity, formerly known as Free The Children, is “an international development charity and youth empowerment movement founded in 1995 by human rights advocates Marc and Craig Kielburger. The organization implements development programs in Asia, Africa and Latin America, focusing on education, water, health, food and economic opportunity. It also runs domestic programming for young people in Canada, the U.S. and U.K., promoting service learning and active citizenship.”

So, the same thing.

This link is a must read eye-opening article about the 2 brothers who started We Charities – The Cult of Kielburger

We Charity – connected to child slavery  

We Charity is connected to Unilever, Microsoft

We Charity – connected to Richard Branson. The brothers co-authored a book with Holly Branson, daughter of Richard Branson. Richard and Holly also produced the docu-series Shameless Idealist with the We Charity founders.

I am certain there is much more to be unearthed down the rabbit hole of these two charitable foundations/elite slush funds. For Cameron’s part there’s a good chance he was either unaware of the corruption or if he was aware, involvement was not his choice but a decision that was made for him.

Side note, Necker Island (Branson’s) is about thirty five miles from Epstein’s island.

You know Jeffrey Epstein who was arrested Saturday and being arraigned as we speak for running an international child sex trafficking operation to entice, entrap and ensnare elites particularly in Hollywood, DC and the UK, in order for even more powerful people to control their influence. His indictment was unsealed at 9am this morning.

Is it all connected?

9. HOLLYWOOD GAY MAFIA

Michael Ovitz, once President of Disney and founder of Hollywood mega agency CAA, who was run out of town, famously said that Hollywood is run by a cabal led by  Dreamworks co-founder David Geffen which Ovitz described as the “gay mafia.”

Here’s a little deep dive on Geffen/Oprah

In addition to Geffen, the list he rattled off of this “gay mafia” included The New York Times Hollywood correspondent Bernie Weinraub, Disney Chairman (and former employer) Michael Eisner; Bryan Lourd, Kevin Huvane, and Richard Lovett, partners at CAA, Universal Studios president Ronald Meyer (Ovitz’s former partner at CAA); and Barry Diller.

In regard to Cameron, I can’t help but think twice about the very first episode of Disney show Jessie, his break out role. For a good portion of the episode, he’s in his underwear.

It is no secret that young boys are systemically abused in Hollywood, but how deep does all this really go?

10. DEBBY RYAN

Cameron’s Jessie co-star Debby Ryan started her career on Barney and Friends

Alongside future Disney starlets Selina Gomez

And Demi Lovato

If you remember, the actor who played Barney was arrested for selling child pornography of children as young as 10.

After that, Debby Ryan had a stint on the Disney show Suite Life on Deck for which Disney hired Brian Peck to work as dialogue coach with the kids, after he’d been to jail for child molestation and was a registered sex offender.

Yes, you heard that right.

Disney hired a convicted child sex predator and registered sex offender to work on their children’s show. Did I mention he was hired specifically to work with children?

Brian Peck remains a registered sex offender to this day and was still being employed by Hollywood as recently as 2016.

Ryan was also featured on The Jonas Brother’s, Wizards of Waverly Place and Hannah Montana before getting her big break and a starring role in her own Disney Channel show, Jessie.

We’ve all watched the personal issues Gomez, Lovato and Debby Ryan have had over the years. It’s time we understand what we’re looking at, a system I call The Prison Pyramid.

Conclusion

I hope you’ll dig further into all these data points and start to connect all the dots that need connecting. Cameron Boyce’s death strikes at the heart of why I’m building a new Hollywood. 

Love and Light to all.

In Unconditional Love,

Tiffany

    Cameron Boyce, Pedowood, and The Disney Death Machine First and foremost, it saddens and sickens me to hear that yet another Hollywood child star has died.

[mackenzielovee]

princess - rafe cameron

a/n: this was a request from @gpiggy98 I hope I did your idea justice! please let me know if you enjoy!

Summary: You've got a crush on Rafe Cameron, but being from two different sides of the island, you know you have to keep it in.

Warnings: swearing, kissing, mentions of buying/consuming drugs

my writing

The Cut is your side of the island. It belongs to the Pogues. You and your friends don't like seeing any of the Kooks on your side of the island for any reason - which is why you can never understand the feeling that happens in your chest when you pull up to Barry's and see Rafe Cameron's bike sitting out front.

You buy weed from Barry for you and your friends - mainly JJ. He smokes a lot. And JJ always sends you to get more from Barry because you push your boobs up before you go in and wind up walking out with more weed for less money. Barry's a classic man, easy to manipulate with your body.

You walk up to the porch of Barry's place, seeing he and Rafe standing there, talking. You walk up and open the door, watching as the two of them turn around to look at you. Barry smiles, but you're too focused on Rafe's smirk when he sees you.

"Hey, boys," you greet.

"Afternoon, girly," Barry's still smiling at you, staring at the low cut top you have on.

"Hey, princess," Rafe teases you.

"Don't call me princess," you tell him, purposely using your pointer finger to tap on his chest. He smirks wider as you touch him.

"Sorry," he says, "Sweetheart."

You glare, but Barry starts talking before you can shoot back a response.

"Here for your usual?"

You nod, letting out a small 'yeah', watching Barry slip off into the trailer to get your shit.

"You still smoking Barry's shitty ass weed?" Rafe asks you, taking a seat and keeping his eyes on you.

"It's not shitty ass weed," you say, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Hmm," Rafe hums, "You sure do buy a lot of weed for one girl."

You look over at him and grin, "How come you're paying attention to my orders?"

Rafe shakes his head, breaking eye contact with you for the first time to glance at the floor. You caught him.

"It's not all for me," you continue, "It's for my friends."

"Ah," Rafe looks up again, "JJ Maybank, right? Something going on between the two of you?"

You make a disgusted face at him, immediately answering his question, "Hell no. He's my best friend."

"You can fuck your friends," Rafe grins.

You roll your eyes, "You can fuck anyone."

Rafe stands now, a playful smirk dancing on his lips as he steps over to you.

"Yeah?" he asks, his voice raspy.

"Oh hell no," Barry says from the doorway, "You two gotta get a room for that shit."

You and Rafe both are staring, not being able to get enough of one another. He breaks away first, sitting down on the couch again.

Barry steps over to you and hands you your shit, then mumbles out a number to you. You hand him the cash, then say thank you quickly.

"Well, I would've charged you less if it was me you were flirtin' with," Barry tells you, smirking.

"Maybe next time," you pat him on the shoulder.

"Go smoke that shitty ass weed, sweetheart," Rafe teases you, "We'll see you here in a few days."

You turn to him, laughing lightly at his comment. He smiles, happy he made you laugh.

"Count on it, Cameron. Thanks, Barry," you nod to him, then turn around and walk toward the door.

"And, hey," Rafe calls after you, you don't turn around, "If you're ever looking for something stronger, my door's always open. Princess."

He adds the last part just to get a reaction out of you, so you don't give him one. You bite your lip to hide a smile, then walk out without even glancing at him. You hear Barry say something to Rafe once you're off the porch, but you can't make it out.

You make it back to John B's  house quickly with the weed, tossing it to JJ to start rolling up.

"Yo, thank God," JJ smiles when it falls into his lap, "How much?"

"Twenty," you reply, "I even pushed my boobs up, too."

JJ snickers, "Damn, that usually works."

Kie rolls her eyes, unable to understand why you allow JJ to use you to get drugs for him because of your body. John B comes out onto the porch, greeting you.

"Pope, you gonna smoke with us, brother?" JJ teases him, knowing Pope doesn't smoke.

"Keeping the signal clear, JJ," Pope replies, keeping his nose in his book out on the hammock.

"Rafe was there," you tell them, trying to keep your expression emotionless, so as not to give away your little crush on him.

"Asshole," JJ mutters under his breath.

Your eyes shoot up and look at the blonde boy, who's too busy focusing on rolling a joint to notice. You shrug, gaining the attention of Kiara.

"He's not that bad," you say.

"Did he say anything to you?" Kie asks, her voice sounding like she's ready to kick Rafe's ass if he had done anything bad.

"He told me Barry sells shitty weed," you mumble.

You almost regret bringing it up, always forgetting that your friends hate him so much. Every run in with the Kooks has mostly involved Topper - like the night Topper and John B fought at the beach. Rafe wasn't even involved.

"What the fuck would Rafe Cameron know about weed?" JJ snickers, "And why is he even chilling with Barry?"

"I think he does some harder shit," you speak up, ignoring Kiara's lingering stare, "That's the impression I got, anyway."

Kiara's glare turns into a smirk as you look down at your lap again, fumbling with the hem of your shirt.

"You sure do know a lot about him," Kiara says, her smirk only widening when your cheeks turn pink.

You just shrug, not really knowing what to say to defend yourself. Kie lets it go, thankfully, you just sit back and wait for JJ to deliver you a blunt. When he finally hands it to you, you hope and pray that you can smoke away a crush.

You spent the night at John B's and then hung out in the morning, taking off for your house later on in the afternoon. John B offered to drive you, but you told him it was fine. You could tell he wanted to go out on the boat with JJ, anyway.

The walk turns brutal quickly. It's humid as hell and you can feel sweat greasing your forehead only a few steps in. It's not too far of a walk, you keep telling yourself.

The sound of a car coming behind you doesn't even phase you at first. You just keep going, reaching up to wipe sweat from your neck. As you hear it get closer to you, you spin around and glance, noticing the truck. And the boy in the driver's seat.

"Hey, princess," Rafe smirks as he rolls the window down, "Need a ride?"

You stop and take a deep breath, taking in the sight of him and realizing your crush is not going away any time soon.

"Is it that obvious?" you reply, wiping sweat from your forehead.

Rafe smirks, "Get in."

You sigh and nod, then walk around the front of the truck to hop in the passenger side. You see the grin on Rafe's face and shake your head, wondering what the hell he's thinking.

"What are you even doing on our side of the island?" you ask him once you're inside.

"Heading to Barry's," he replies.

He tears his eyes away from you and puts the truck in drive, intentionally reaching out and setting his hand on the headrest of your seat. You notice him move out of the corner of your eye, but you don't mention it to him.

"You're there a lot," you state, then silently curse yourself for making such an obvious observation.

"He gives me drugs a lot," Rafe laughs, but it sounds more sarcastic to you than funny.

Silence falls over the car, as you don't really know what to say in response. You can tell Rafe feels uncomfortable with it because he starts shifting in his seat.

"So," Rafe starts up again, "Are you going to the movie thing tomorrow night?"

You steal a glance at him, and he steals one at you, so you both look away. Rafe tries to hold in a smile, and so do you.

"Yeah," you reply, "All of us are. Take a left up here."

Rafe nods his head, glancing over at you again, "All of us?"

"Yeah, all of us," you repeat, finally gaining the courage to look at him again. You smirk, knowing he wants to know who that entails, but aren't telling him. He grins at you and shakes his head.

"Maybank? John B? That nerdy kid?"

"His name is Pope," you correct, laughing when Rafe rolls his eyes.

"Okay, whatever. But you're going?" he questions.

"Yes," you reply, smiling at him when he looks over at you.

"Maybe I'll see you there," he's teasing you now, and you know it.

You don't answer him, which you know will drive him crazy, you just look back out onto the road and then point.

"Take a right up there, and then it's the third house on the left."

Rafe nods and obeys your instructions, not saying anything else about movie night. When he pulls up in front of your driveway, he shuts the truck off completely.

"You know," he starts, "You could come to Barry's with me. Hang out. Try some better shit than that fucking weed."

You laugh and shake your head as you reach over and hit him on the shoulder. He takes a risk and reaches up as you do this, grabbing your hand and taking it in his.

"I mean it," he says, his voice more serious than it was before.

You stare at him, at his eyes, and your face drops from the laughter. You can feel his skin on yours, and you'd be lying if you said you hated it.

"I can't," you say finally, "I haven't been home in, like, two days."

He looks at you, confused, then his eyes drop and he releases your hand.

"You've been with them," he figures out, "Which one are you with, then, if not Maybank?"

You look at him like he's crazy, but he refuses to look up at you again. He's just staring at the spot on the seat of the truck that has a stain on it.

"I'm not with any of them," you tell him.

You watch his eyes slowly glance up to look at you, trying to figure out if you are serious or not.

"But you're sleeping there?"

"On the couch," you tell him, then add, "Alone."

He nods his head, still not entirely convinced. You're not sure why you even feel the need to explain yourself to him, because you know it's none of his business. But, for some reason, you just really care about what he thinks.

"Have you ever done anything with any of them? he asks, his voice quiet.

"No," you say, your voice strong, "And I wouldn't, either."

"Okay."

You aren't sure what to say or do, so you just reach out and grab the door handle to get out of the truck.

"Thank you for the ride," you tell him.

"Anytime," he gives you a small smile.

You pull open the door and hop out, then look up to him again before you close the door.

"So, see you tomorrow night?" you ask.

Rafe breaks out into a grin after that. Of course, his smile makes you smile.

"Absolutely, princess," he's laughing now.

You roll your eyes and flip him off, then shut the door and start up the driveway. You know he's watching you, so you don't turn around. Just to drive him crazy.

The next night at movie night, you can't help but continue to glance around and see if Rafe has arrived yet. Pope and JJ have been acting strange ever since you all arrived, and to make it worse, John B had bailed on coming.

"Okay, what is with the two of you?" Kiara asks Pope and JJ as they keep looking over their shoulder.

"Nothing, Kie, Jesus," JJ mutters.

"Really? Because it seems like you fucked up," she snaps back. She knows better than to believe JJ when he says nothing is wrong.

"Kiara, please," Pope says, a fearful look in his eye. Kie just rolls her eyes in response, telling herself that what she doesn't know can't hurt her.

"I'm going to get something to drink," you stand, "Anyone else?"

"Coke, please," Kiara says, holding up cash in the air for you to grab.

"Boys?" you ask, but they're too busy whispering to each other, so you walk away.

The second you get a place in line, you see him. He's with Topper and Kelce, of course, but you can't help raking your eyes over him. He looks so good to you, and you're not used to that. He glances over and sees you just a second later, catching you red handed. He says something to the boys and then starts walking toward you, immediately making your stomach flip.

"Hey," he says once he gets to you, "What's up?"

You shrug, trying to play it cool, "I'm on drink duty."

Rafe smiles, and you watch as he then glances over at your friends.

"Hey, uh, JJ and... um," he trails off.

"Pope," you remind him, watching as he snaps his fingers once you tell him.

"Pope, yes, um, JJ and Pope didn't happen to mention anything to you about what they did, did they?" he asks, staring at you for any sign of deception.

"What are you talking about?" you say, staring right back.

Rafe quickly shakes his head and changes his expression, "Nothing. Just curious."

"What-" you start, but Topper comes up behind Rafe and interrupts.

"Excuse me," Topper grins, and you can tell without even smelling him that he's been drinking, "Do you mind if I borrow him? Dude, super hot girls, ten o'clock."

You look down at the ground, breaking your stare with Rafe. You don't hear Rafe say anything, but after a second, Topper pulls him away.

"What are you doing, talking up a Pogue?" you hear Topper ask him as they walk off.

You can't help but feel slightly hurt that after all of the daydreaming you did about seeing Rafe here, that that was all you were going to get. You know Topper is an asshole, but you never imagined Rafe would be, too.

You get the drinks and popcorn for yourself, the return back over to the boys, but before you can even sit, JJ grabs your arm and pulls you down.

"Why were you talking to Rafe?" he asks you, his voice urgent.

"He was asking me if I'd heard from Barry," you lie quickly, "Why?"

You want to know what the hell is going on, but you want the truth from the boys.

"No reason," Pope says, waving you off.

You send a glance to Kiara, silently telling her that something is going on. You know it must be bad if the two of them are keeping secrets from you and Kie.

"Liars," you mutter, but they're too wrapped up in themselves to hear.

You go and sit by Kie, not even noticing that Rafe and his friends have chosen to sit directly behind you guys. You feel something hit your back, and when you turn, Rafe is smirking widely at you. Popcorn lies in the grass just behind you. You glance at Topper and notice that he and Kelce are both turned around talking to girls, which is probably the only reason Rafe is trying to get your attention.

You know you can't speak, because his friends and yours will all hear. So, instead, you take some of your popcorn and throw it back, careful that Kiara is still staring at her phone. Rafe laughs and moves to the side, avoiding your throw. He throws one pieces at you, and while you're busy ducking from that one, he tosses another one. It hits you, making him laugh loudly.

Of course, that attracts attention. You hear Pope gasp beside you, and then he and JJ frantically whispering to one another. Topper turns around, too, eyeing you. He punches Rafe in the arm and mutters something, but you can't hear it. When Topper goes back to the girls, Rafe rolls his eyes and shrugs at you.

Before you can silently respond, Kiara turns and looks to you, which makes you face forward to avoid suspicion.

Once the movie begins, you relax. You finally have something to focus on other than the fact that Rafe is six feet away from you. Throughout the movie, you can feel pieces of popcorn hit your back every so often, and occasionally, you pretend to glance over your shoulder and fire one back. With all of the eyes looking around the two of you, you know you have to be careful.

About halfway through the movie, JJ and Pope get up and start to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Kiara whispers to them.

JJ turns around, "We gotta piss."

Kiara looks at you and makes a face, wondering if you found it as weird as she did.

"Are you gonna hold it for each other?" she hisses.

"Shut up, Kie," JJ replies, rolling his eyes.

You shrug at her, turning your attention back to the movie. It dawns on you that you haven't felt anything hit you in a minute, so you glance slightly behind you to see what's going on. You half spin turns into a whole spin around when you notice that Rafe and the boys aren't sitting there anymore. You turn to Kie and point, silently asking her what the hell is going on.

"Something's definitely wrong," you say to her.

You both stand up and head off into the direction the boys went, which is behind the screen of the movie. The tree they had gone to has nobody near it, so you start looking around. That's when you hear it.

"Topper, get off of him!"

"Over here," Kie grabs your arm and pulls you, heading in the direction that the voice came from.

Once you both get behind the screen, you see the boys. They're punching and yelling like crazy, and while you know you should be worried about JJ and Pope, all you can look for is Rafe. Pope and Rafe are going at it, but all you can see is Pope hitting Rafe, not the other way around. Kiara jumps in and goes to help JJ, so you run to Pope.

"Y/N!" Pope yells out to you, his voice relieved.

"Get off of him, Pope!" you yell, grabbing ahold of his shirt and yanking him away.

Pope stares at you, confusion and betrayal written all over his face. Rafe backs up, wiping blood from his lip and nose. A fire erupts on the movie screen, making the other boys stop and let go of JJ.

"What the fuck!" Pope screams at you, "Why are you protecting him?"

Topper rushes over and grabs ahold of Rafe, Kelce not far behind.

"Let's get out of here, man," Topper tells him, but Rafe holds back.

"I'm sorry," you say to Pope, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. JJ steps over beside Pope, bloody and beaten.

"Why did you do that?" Pope presses. You look around at your friends, not even bothering to look at Rafe.

"Pope-"

"No fucking bullshit, Y/N. Why the fuck would you pull me off of him?"

"Because I care about him, all right?" you shout, blowing up without even meaning to, "I'm falling for him and I fucked up, Pope."

Kie joins the boys, and you watch as they all stare at you like a complete stranger. You hear Topper crack up behind you, but the tears are already stinging your eyes at this point. You're sure Rafe and the boys will run off and laugh about this whole thing.

So, instead, you decide to take off first. You turn away from your friends and look to Rafe only for a second before you run away from all of them.

"Aww," you hear Topper snicker.

You make it far quickly, not stopping for anything. The tears are really falling now, and there's nothing you can do to stop them. You just want to get back to your house, fall asleep, and never think about this night again. You curse yourself for being so stupid in the first place. Someone like Rafe Cameron could never have feelings for you.

"Y/N!" you hear, but you don't stop until you hear it again.

You turn around and wipe your cheeks and eyes out, not knowing what to think when you see Rafe rushing toward you. You swallow, scared he's going to make fun of you.

"Hey," he says once he reaches you, "You run pretty fast."

"Well, tell Topper it comes with being a Pogue," you snap, embarrassed that your voice comes out nasally because of the crying.

"Hey, now," Rafe reaches out and grabs onto your arms, which confuses you. After what you just admitted, how could he want to touch you?

"Rafe-" you start, but he shakes his head.

"Don't you dare apologize," he says, his voice soft, "I haven't even told you how I feel yet."

Your eyes grow wide as he speaks, but you're sure he'll just tell you that you two are better off friends. How could he not?

"You don't have to say anything," you say, sounding ashamed. The last thing you want is to have the pity conversation with him.

"Yes, I do," he says, bringing one hand up to your face to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, "I feel the same way. Honest. I never, ever stop thinking about you-"

"If you're lying-" you start, but he hushes you.

"I'm not, all right? Why do you think I hang out at Barry's so much? It's because I never know when you're coming around, and the last thing I wanna do is miss you when you do. Believe me, Barry's not that cool to hang with."

You laugh, and it somehow seems to make all the tension in the air go away. Rafe grins at you and pulls you in by the back of your neck for a hug, allowing him to breathe in your scent.

"I think we should give it a shot," he states, speaking softly against your head. You can feel his lips moving against your scalp, and it oddly relaxes you.

"Really?" you ask, practically melting Rafe's heart.

"Absolutely, princess," he smirks, giving you a short kiss on the top of your head.

You look up at him and he looks down at you, and before either of you know it, he's shoving you back against a tree with his lips on yours. Everything about him seems to intoxicate you - better than any shitty ass weed Barry can provide. Rafe's lips against yours make you feel like you're on the best high of your life.

After a few minutes, Rafe breaks the kiss and stares down at you, observing your pink lips.

"You with me?" he asks you, catching his breath.

"Hell yes," you reply, letting your lips fall in the same spot as they sat before.

With him.

[lickthemagaindeacy]

Don’t Believe All You Read In The Bible

Inspired by this post.

I started wondering about some of the relationships Freddie would have with his bandmates’ kids, now that they’re all adults, what kind of influence he might have had in their lives. And I got to thinking about the fact that, even though he never met Freddie, Cameron Deacon has spoken about how he holds Freddie in such high regard, and considers him a hero and an LGBT+ icon. This promptly poured out of me.

Some notes: It just felt appropriate to me that Freddie would be Cameron’s godfather for this lil story. I’ve heard that John named Freddie godfather of one of his sons, but I don’t know if this is true. All details referenced about Cameron (religion, sexuality, his admiration of Freddie) are things he has spoken openly about on his YouTube channel, one of which is the fact that he has very high functioning autism, which is the reason behind some of the details about social cues and touch.

This is pretty angsty, with a healthy dose of fluff, and a bit lengthy. Gets a little in depth about religion, they are my own opinions, and not necessarily the opinions of anyone mentioned in this post. I do not begrudge anyone their faith, but church is not my cuppa. If you feel the need to be defensive and @ me, then just go home now. Title comes from the Queen song “Great King Rat”. Takes place approx 10 years ago, Cam would have been around 15. Reminder: THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. I wrote this as catharsis for myself, but I REALLY hope some of y’all like it, too.

Freddie sits alone in the studio, glasses perched upon his nose, staring  down at a sheet of paper with more scratches over it than words, attempting to decipher what might be usable of the blotches and scribbles over its surface. He runs a hand through his thinning hair, which is more silver than raven these days, on the verge of giving up for the day, when a knock comes at the door.

"Come in," he calls, reaching for his drink and taking a sip. He looks up to see who has relieved him of his task, a sarcastic “thank you“ on his lips, when he sees the youngest Deacon standing just inside the room, looking nervous enough to pass out at any moment. "Darling?" he calls softly, and Cameron jumps slightly, before releasing the breath he had been holding. "Cam, dear, what's wrong? Come, sit and talk to me, you look ready to hit the floor."

Cameron shuffles over to the couch opposite the mixing desk Freddie is sat at, not once looking up at his godfather, and falls gracelessly onto the cushions. Freddie passes over his drink, and the teen takes it with a shaking hand, finally glancing up to the older man's face.

"You look like you could use a little liquid courage, darling. Shh, I won’t tell your father if you won't," he whispers conspiratorially, leaning closer. When this fails to get a reaction from his godson, Freddie hastens to add, "Unless, of course, you'd prefer tea. I could whip you up a cuppa quick-" he cuts himself off when Cameron knocks back the drink in one go, wincing slightly, before handing the glass back to Freddie. "Alright then. Now, darling, care to tell me what has you looking like you've just seen a ghost?"

Freddie comes to sit on the couch next to his godson, not touching him, afraid that he'll spook him, but close enough the teen can feel and hopefully take strength from his presence.

"Uncle Fred, how long have you and Uncle Jim been together now?"

The man had not expected the topic of discussion to turn to himself, but if it got the boy talking, he would gladly go along with it.

"Oh dear, well, longer than you've been alive, that's for certain. Around thirty years now, I suppose." He gazes at his godson’s profile, dying to know what has the darling boy so upset, but unwilling to push further. He allows Cam to control the conversation entirely.

“And you love each other, right?”

“Of course we do, darling. Just as sure as the sun rises in the east every morning.”

“How have you stayed strong for so long? How have you not fallen apart?” the boy asks, before looking up at Freddie, eyes widened in slight horror. “I’m sorry. Was that too far? Was that rude? I’m trying to get better about realizing what things are appropriate but sometimes I still slip--,” Freddie cuts the boy off by placing his arm softly around his slim shoulders and pulling him close, placing a reassuring kiss to soft brown hair.

“My love, I am in no way offended. You are family, I don’t mind you asking about things like this,” Freddie assures his godson, pulling back to look at the boy’s face. “Of course we’ve had our fair share of troubles, of fights and shouting matches, just as any couple would. But I must ask you, what has brought this on? You never seemed so curious about this before.”

Cameron takes in a deep breath and holds it for a moment, before letting it out in a rush. “Well, no, I-I suppose that’s just because you’ve always been there. You’ve always been Uncle Fred and Uncle Jim, just like Uncle Bri and Aunt Anita. I guess I’ve...been doing a lot of thinking lately and I--that is to say, I think--” Freddie rubs his hand up and down his godson’s shaking shoulder, silently offering reassurance that he will not be judged for whatever he has to say. “Uncle Freddie, I th-think I’m like you. Like you and Uncle Jim.”

The older man had already cottoned on to what the boy had come to him for, but still could not keep himself from sweeping Cam up against his chest, forgetting that touch was sometimes not welcome to the boy, especially if he was upset. Luckily, he welcomed physical comfort from Freddie as much as from his own parents, and when he did not pull away, Freddie pressed his lips again to soft brown hair, whispering reassurances and calming words as he felt Cam begin to shake with sobs. He sat there wrapped around his godson as the catharsis washed over the boy and the tension left his body in the form of tears. Freddie knew as well as anybody how much good a nice cry could do for a person. His own thoughts and emotions swirled around his head as they held each other. Unconditional love for his godson, excitement and pride that the boy would confide such a thing in him, a small amount of fear, for even though it is the 21st century, the world could still be just as cruel to people like them as it was 40 years ago.

After a good ten minutes, Freddie finally felt Cameron’s breathing begin to slow and even out, and he readjusted, bringing his hand under the boy’s chin to tilt his face up. He beamed, the full, uninhibited smile that he still did not much like showing to the public, and wiped the boys tears with soft fingers.

“Deep breaths, my dear. Oh I am so proud of you, you brave beautiful boy.”

Cameron peered up at his godfather, taking in his words as he saw the truth of them reflected in the man’s dark eyes. “Really?”

“Of course I am! Do you think that I, of all people, don’t understand precisely how you are feeling?”

Cam looks down again, scuffing his shoe against a tear in the studio’s old, worn carpeting. “I don’t mean to doubt you Uncle Freddie, it’s just...”

Freddie could tell there was something more serious bothering the boy beside him. “What’s wrong, dear? There is something else bothering you, isn’t there? You know you can tell me. I would never dream of judging you for it.”

“It’s just...I know everyone doesn’t think like you do. I am terrified that some people, who I admire and care for very much, may find out and not think of me the same way anymore. What if it changes their opinion of me? What if they want nothing to do with me anymore?

Freddie’s overworked brain immediately jumps to conclusions, and he sees red. “Did your father say something to make you think--?”

Cam’s head snaps up so quickly Freddie swears he hears a crack. The boy’s eyes are wide with panic again as he stumbles over himself to correct the situation. “What?! No, no he never--That’s not what I meant at all!!”

Freddie feels his shoulders sag, releasing tension he had not realized was building. He squeezes the boy’s shoulder and shushes him gently. “Shh, dear, it’s okay. I should never have made such an assumption, I’m sorry. Although I am glad of the reassurance that John still has his head screwed on the right way about that. He may be one of my favorite people in this universe, and I may not be as young as I once was, but I am still willing to knock his ass down a peg or two if needed.” By now Cameron is laughing, unrestrained, and Freddie feels affection for the lad swell inside his chest again.

Once he has regained his composure, Cameron continues, “What I meant was, um...I started my confirmation recently with the church. And a few weeks ago, at our weekly meeting, someone brought up the topic of sexuality. It got heated, the group was pretty evenly split on their opinions. And I sat there, completely frozen, because I was terrified that if I even moved, they would know, they would just know and I couldn’t--” He cuts himself off then, unable to continue. Freddie may not have shared the same views on religion as his late father, however he did know enough to understand how religion weaved its way into life and society since the beginning of humankind. He knew how important this was to countless people

“Cameron,” Freddie begins seriously, capturing the boy’s attention again. “You do not own an explanation to anyone. Not a single person. Let them think whatever they want to think. You know your truth, and you know you are loved, and that is what matters most. As for your faith, let me share with you something that a frightened, confused, but determined young man once wrote years ago; ‘don’t believe all that you read in the bible’ okay? If God created the universe, and if I learned anything from Uncle Brian’s endless ramblings, the universe has been here for billions of years, how can a book that has only been around and been freely re-interpreted hundreds of times for 2,000 years possibly capture the truth? Your relationship with God is just that; yours. It is between you and Him. Or Her. Or Them. Because in this house, we do not assume anyone’s gender or pronouns.”

Cam throws his arms around Freddie’s neck, giving him a hearty squeeze, which Freddie easily returns. They stay like this for a moment, the boy taking comfort in his godfather’s presence and thinking about his words. “You’re probably right. That certainly gives me something to think about. It’s a step in the right direction anyway.”

The boy presses a kiss to Freddie’s cheek as he pulls away, then stands and readies himself to leave, saying something about needing to be home for dinner, and being the last one home, as his father had left the studio nearly 30 minutes before he arrived.

“You’re still coming to dinner at the Lodge on Thursday, yeah? You know how much your Uncle Jim looks forward to seeing you boys every week.” Freddie carefully does not admit how he looks forward to these weekly gatherings just as much as his husband does.

“Yeah of course! You know, he may act like it’s some big obligation, but I know Luke wouldn’t miss it for the world. Thanks again, Uncle Fred. Bye, now! Love you!”

“I’ll see you later, love! Tell your mother hello for me!” and in a second, Freddie is alone again in the quiet control room.

He stands slowly, allowing his muscles to stretch and blood to flow back into the right places before crossing to the mixing desk again, picking up his abandoned paper and glasses. He stares down at the words again for a moment before deciding it can all wait until tomorrow. He has a husband waiting for him at home, one who he would very much like to cuddle up to and remind how much he loves him.

[munsonthings86]

Journal Entry- (Grayson Dolan x Reader)

Summary: [Y/N] [Y/L/N]. She and I had been the closest pair of friends just about our whole lives. We had such a tight bond where it distinctly felt like we had an invisible force field protecting our relationship from ever faltering, that only we could see. You may have a question dancing around your mind along the lines of, “So why are we here? What could have possibly gone wrong?” You, my friend, are about to see just how unfair the universe is, when it comes to relationships like these.

Warnings: Cursing, angst, fluff, just an emotional rollercoaster like wow. And it’s long, but long imagines are good right?

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this imagine, I really love it, and I’m proud of it and I hope you all love it just as much! Love you guys!

Word Count: 3,081

[Grayson’s POV]

“Yes, this is him,” I spoke into the phone with a rather raspy voice, addressing the talent agent that called contacted me, so early in the morning. I listened closely to the offer that was seemingly important, as my eyes increasingly lit up at the older woman’s words. “Are you kidding? That’s sounds awesome,” I exclaimed already thinking of accepting the proposition without even consulting my twin brother, Ethan. 

“So, when would we have to leave?” I question, quickly realizing that this kind of opportunity wouldn’t allow for us to remain here in New Jersey. “Wow, really? I’ll have to talk to Ethan, of course, before I make any promises. So I’ll call you back soon,” I respond, feeling excited yet worried about what Ethan would have to say. 

I end the phone call and wander around the house, looking for my brother that would ultimately determine the general decision of whether we would be taking up the career changing offer or not. Finally spotting him in his bedroom scrolling away at his phone, he looks up at me upon my entrance that I made without knocking. 

“Did I say you could come in?,” he sarcastically asks, dropping his phone beside him. “Shut up and listen, this is serious,” I retort, pushing the blankets to the corner of the bed, to make room for myself to sit. 

“First of all, you come into my bedroom, WITHOUT knocking, then you tell me to shut up-”

“Okay, be quiet. We have a movie offer, Ethan. Yeah, a movie offer. This could change everything!,” I exclaimed, understandably ecstatic at the news. I watch as Ethan’s features morph into a shocked yet taken aback expression. 

“Dude, that’s insane! We get the chance to be in a movie and we get to stay in Jersey? This is perfect for us,” he says, playfully pushing my shoulder. My face soon falls into a frown as I notice that I left out a vital detail in my report to Ethan. “About that,” I begin, fumbling with my fingers. “We have to move out to Los Angeles if we wanna be a part of the production.”

“What? We have to move to L.A.? That’s across the whole freaking country. When do they expect us to leave?,” Ethan asks, with a panic-struck look sketched across his face. “They want us to move out there as soon as possible. The latest being next month-”

“Next month? A whole fucking movie deal, and they call us a month before it’s time to start getting shit in order? We’ve never gone so far away from here before. What about Mom and Dad? And Cameron?-”

“And Nolan?,” I interrupt, pushing forth my best effort to lighten and add humor to the situation. 

“Dude, this isn’t funny.” Ethan pauses, before widen his eyes as if he’s just had a fascinating realization. “Have you even told [Y/N], yet?”

My eyes widen, mimicking Ethan’s own, as the rest of my actions get held at a stand-still at the mention of her name. This whole time, I had been so captivated in the exhilaration of potentially being a part of something so major, that I had completely forgotten about my best friend, [Y/N]. 

If I left her, not only would she be heart broken, but so would I. She was the very first friend Ethan and I made. She’s an immense part of me that is going be hard to let go of once we- if we leave for L.A. 

“Holy shit, I haven’t even talked to her since I got the call. E, I can’t tell her. Do you know how hard that’s gonna be?,” I utter quickly, staring at the ground with sad eyes. 

“So, what you’re just not gonna tell her? You’re gonna jet off to L.A. without saying anything? That’s kind of fucked up, don't you think?,” Ethan asks, with furrowed eyebrows. Ethan did have a point. If we’re serious about moving to L.A., I have to tell [Y/N]. I wouldn’t be fair to her, to just pack a suitcase and hop on a plane and not say anything. 

“You’re right, I’m gonna toughen up and call her,” I say, grabbing my phone and beginning to walk back into my own bedroom. Before I can completely step out of the room, I hear Ethan call out, “Wow, I think this is the first time you’ve come into my room early in the morning for something important.” I rolled my eyes at his comment as I approach my bed, sitting down at the edge. Gently placing my finger down on her contact, my brain begins to contemplate between telling her or keeping quiet. 

As if my heart and my mind were at war between the two options, one of them being the obvious choice, my mind gets the better of me, figuring that what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

[One Month Later]

Pulling the light sweater over my torso, I look at myself in the mirror, making sure I looked presentable for my day out with [Y/N]. I originally planned on telling her about the upcoming movie the same day I found out, but I couldn’t bring myself to it. Weeks after weeks, I promised myself, “I’m gonna tell her today, I’m gonna tell her today”. Well, that didn’t exactly work out. Ethan and I leave for California in two days, and [Y/N] has no clue. 

I wasn’t even a little fond of basically lying to her for an entire month, I hated it. But today, I plan on making this day, the best day of her life and then later telling her that I was soon going to be gone. Was it the best plan ever? Hell no. But it wasn’t like I could just jump into a time machine and tell her sooner. This was the way it had to be. 

I spray cologne all over my body, and head into the living room where Ethan was sitting, playing video games as usual. He quickly glances over to me and questions, “Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna go hang out with [Y/N]. To spend some time before we have to say goodbye.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot to ask you, how was the talk you guys had? How did she take it?,” Ethan says, barely looking away from his game.

I try to distract myself by fiddling with the ends of hair, speaking lowly, “Yeah, I didn’t tell her yet. I’m thinking of telling her today.” With that, Ethan quickly pauses the game in place and turns to me with a bewildered expression invading his usually relaxed features. 

“What do mean you didn’t tell her? How could you have waited this long? We leave in two days, Grayson. TWO D-.”

“Yes, Ethan, I get it. But anyway, I told you to pack your PlayStation, ‘cause you’re gonna forget it here,” I say pulling my shoes onto my feet. “I’m not gonna forget it, and speaking of packing, I found our old journals. Do you remember those old journals mom got for us a long time ago?,” Ethan says.

“Oh, yeah. She told us to write all of our goals and thoughts since we’re ‘developing young men’,” I reply, with air quotes. Ethan chuckles lightly as nods his head in my direction. “They’re behind you right there.” I turn around and see two small notebooks, immediately finding mine that had a small ‘G’ in the upper corner.

I quickly flip through, not remembering writing most of the entries that the book contained. I stop at one that I vividly remember writing. It was an entry about [Y/N]. I went on and on for pages talking about how much I truly loved her. I try my best to hide my sudden change in facial expression, not wanting Ethan to find out about what I wrote. 

But if I didn’t feel this way about [Y/N] anymore, why would I want to hide it? Am I still in love with [Y/N]? Shaking the thought out of my head, I place the journal back down, slightly pushing it behind a vase, hoping that Ethan wouldn’t find it. 

“Alright, I don’t wanna be late. I’ll see you later,” I state, shuffling out of the door.

[Restaurant]

“Thanks again for taking me out to breakfast, Gray. But can I ask why?,” [Y/N] asks, wiping her hands free of any crumbs that may have been left behind on her fingers. 

“What, I can’t treat my awesome best friend?,” I ask with a happy expression on my face, but a rather upset one in my mind. 

“No, no. I just wondering. I appreciate it, though,” she says, sweetly smiling at me. 

“Are you ready to go? We have a full day ahead of us,” I say, opening the check to begin paying for our food. “There’s more?,” she asks, her eyes widen.

“Of course there’s more.”

[Midnight]

I parked the car in front of her house, after our long day of activities, breathing out and sliding my hand off of the wheel. I look over at [Y/N] to see that she’s already looking at me with squinted eyes, studying my features. 

“What?”

“You’re up to something, Grayson. The only time you pull a stunt like this, is when you're trying to make up for something. So come on, spill it,” she says, turning her body in her seat, to fully face me. I turn my head to the left looking out of my window, as if I was looking for some escape out of this situation. 

“Dude, all I’m doing is enjoying quality time with my best friend, is that a crime?,” I lightly chuckle. “No, Grayson, ‘quality time with your best friend’ is coming over and playing video games. You took me to breakfast, took me shopping, went to amusement park, took me to dinner...You’re covering for something, and you’re gonna tell me.”

As much as I really didn’t want to tell her, I had to. I leave in two- well, tomorrow and there’s no time left to lie. It’s now or never.

“You’re too smart for you’re own good, you know that?,” I pause, “Listen, I’ve been avoiding this conversation for, you don’t want to know how long, and I’m just gonna rip it off like a band-aid because I've been keeping this to myself for ages...Ethan and I got an opportunity to play the main roles in a new movie.”

“Grayson, that’s amazing, why would you want to avoid telling me that? Did you think I’d get jealous or some-”

“We have to move out to Los Angeles.”

“When, in a couple months?,” she asks with concern, being evident in her voice. 

“...Tomorrow,” I say, so quietly, to the point where it was almost inaudible. Rather than a response, I hear the unbuckling of a seat belt, and the sound of the car door opening. “[Y/N], wait, please.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You have to be joking. Grayson, there’s no way in hell that you’re leaving tomorrow. Tell me this is a joke,” she says, raising her voice, closing back the door.

“I should have told you, I know-”

“Yeah, you really should’ve. You spent this whole day, acting like everything was fine. Like you weren’t leaving tomorrow. How could you do that to me?,” she says, sitting back in her seat, with sadness yet an undeniable sense of anger in her voice. 

“You know, you sound really selfish right now. I just told you that I got a whole movie deal and you’re acting like this is about you. Be happy for me instead of complaining about me leaving tomorrow,” I demand, feeling irritated that she solely focused on the one negative angle of the situation.

“SELFISH? Sorry, Grayson that I’m not jumping for joy. My best friend just told me that he was flying across the goddamn country for, God knows how long, and he lied to me about. I’m so sorry for being so FUCKING SELFISH,” she says, with her voice wavering and tears pooling in her eyes. “How long have you known?”

“[Y/N], I-,” I begin, before she interrupts.

“No, how long have you known Grayson?,” she persists.

Shaking my head in shame, without daring to make eye contact, I breath out, “A month.” Before she responds with words, she lets out a sarcastic laugh and speaks, “A month. A MONTH. You’ve been lying to my face for a whole month. You didn’t say a thing to me. You waited until the DAY BEFORE to tell me. Do you know how unfair that is? I didn’t even get a chance to mentally prepare for you to leave.” 

A quiet sob is the last thing that her voice can manage to let out before she whispers a huge revelation with a pained voice. “You can’t do all this and expect me to be fine by the end of the night. You can’t make me fall in love with you and try to leave, it’s not fair.”

Quickly snapping my head to her direction, I look into her eyes, and I can tell she wasn’t joking or just saying that to make me want to stay. She appeared deeply hurt and it was my fault. I’m about to speak, before she cuts ahead. 

“We’ve been friends for fourteen years. Anything I needed, you were the first person who’d try and help me with it. You were there for me when no one else was. You’re everything I’ve ever needed, and to see you go-,” she stops herself, shaking her head and allowing tears to fall from her eyes, the thought of me leaving, which would soon become a reality, being too emotional for her to voice. 

“You’re in love with me?,” I ask, still baffled yet astonished at her mind-boggling disclosure, that completely changed the solemnity of the situation. She quickly shuts her eyes at my words, and reaches for the car door handle. “Just forget I said anything.”

“No, [Y/N]. Wait,” I reach for her wrist, but she’s quicker than me and soon reaches the front door, before I could finish speaking to her. “Fuck,” I whisper to myself, resting my back against my seat.

[The Next Morning] [Y/N’s POV]

I roll over onto my back, staring up at my blank ceiling. Even after crying all night last night, I still felt like letting more tears escape from my eyes. Grayson was leaving and there was no way of stopping him. But I shouldn’t be thinking of stopping him. This was his dream and I can’t do anything except support and be there for him. Maybe I am selfish.

My upsetting thoughts are rather thankfully pulled out of mind as I hear the doorbell to my house ring. Before I could get the chance to get out of bed, to see who it was, I get a text. From Grayson. I let out a loud sigh, reading the message: im outside. you can come talk to me if you want. if not, I get it. I have something that I forgot to give to you last night. i’ll call you when my flight lands.

I thought to myself that it wouldn’t be the best option to go see Grayson right now. Just thinking about him makes me want to cry, so who knows what I’ll do if I see him face to face. I couldn’t face him after what I said to him, there’s no way he loves me the way that I love him. Judging by the way he reacted last night, he probably just sees me as a little sister. 

Once again I hear my notification go off: my flight leaves in a little bit. i’ll come visit as soon as I can. 

I hear a car outside my window drive away. Assuming it was Grayson, I slowly get up and walk towards my front door, pulling it open slightly. I look around for any sight of Grayson, which I thankfully don’t find. I look down, a couple inches ahead of my feet, and I find a small lilac colored gift bag. My favorite color. I pick up the bag and make my way back into the house, towards the kitchen. 

Placing the bag on the counter, I look inside and find a small box and a couple pieces of folded paper that appear to have been ripped out of a notebook. I open the box first and find a necklace in the shape of half a heart with the letter ‘G’ engraved in the front. Assuming that Grayson had the other half of the heart with the first letter to my name, I smile to myself at his sweet and thoughtful gesture.

Unfolding the paper and reading the first couple of lines, I gasp out loud, amazed at what I read:

Entry #7

March 8, 2014

I’ve been doing a good job at keeping up with this journal thing. I thought I would’ve stopped after the second entry, but this is actually kind of relaxing to me. I don’t really have much to write about today, so I’ll just write about something always on my mind, rather than just what I did today. There’s this girl named [Y/N]. Where do I start with her? She’s one of the most amazing women I know. She’s the greatest friends anyone could ask for. She’s kind. She’s funny. She’s so smart. She’s painfully gorgeous. Her voice makes my heart do backflips. And her laugh. Man, her laugh is so beautiful. Whenever she touches me, I can still feel my skin tingling even minutes after she moves her hand back. Nobody in the world is perfect, but she makes perfect look so easy. Every time we hangout I try to find some flaw. Even the smallest thing. But I can’t find a thing. She’s my best friend but I can’t keep being just her best friend. I’m so in love with her, it hurts. She may never feel the same way about me but, hell, whether she’s my friend or my girlfriend, I’ll always love her. She’s beyond important to me and I don’t know what I’ll do if I lost her, Alright Mom’s calling me for dinner. I could go on and on about [Y/N] but I’m kind of hungry. Later.

-Gray

I stare at the letter, more specifically the date, as I feel tears well up in my eyes. I quickly fold the paper back to it’s original position, and pick up my phone to call Grayson.

[writerofculture-blog]

Chapter 10

1994

“You know, it’s uncanny. Whenever I hear Freddie’s voice through the speaker, I still feel he’s right here with us.” Roger lit a cigarette as he and John smoked in the tearoom of their recording studio.

“How do you know he’s not.” John puffed a smoke, “I bet he is laughing at your ridiculous haircut right now.”

“Brian’s sci-fi mind is rubbing off on you Deaky. You got to be careful before you become crazy like him and curly hair start to grow out of your head too.” Roger stuck out his tongue at the younger man.

John snickered and finished the last smoke before putting the cigarette butt down.

“Roger, I’m done, it’s your turn now.” Brian called out to his blond bandmate as he entered the tearoom.

“Oh, here comes the fun killer.” Roger reluctantly killed his half cigarette as he saw Brian enter the room.

John smiled. He got up and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair. He glanced at the clock on the wall that read 3:30pm. “I think I’m done for today. You guys okay if I leave now? I will finish my part up tomorrow.” He said as he put on his jacket.

“Sure thing.” Replied Roger, “but where are you going Deaky?”

“Got to take care of some business.” John smiled mysteriously as he turned around to start walking toward the door.

“Deaky…” Brian called as he grabbed John’s shoulder.

John patted Brian’s hand on his shoulder, “I will see you at home Brian.” With that, he zipped up his jacket and walked toward the door.

“Recently, he’s been leaving at this time pretty frequently. Where is he going?” Roger’s curiosity is getting the better of him.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Brian shook his head and poured himself some tea.

“But you two live together.” Roger commented.

“That doesn’t mean we are joined at the hips.” Brian took a sip of his tea. “There’s got to be some personal space.”

“Aren’t you curious though? What if he has a hot date?” Roger wondered.

Brian almost spurted his tea. “Hot date at 3:30 in the afternoon? For what? Tea party?”

Roger got up from his chair, grabbed his coat and run toward the door while yelling, “I’m going to bounce early too Brian, will finish tomorrow.”

“Wait.” Before Brian could react, Roger is out of his sight.

Just as Brian is finishing his tea and getting ready to go back to the recording studio to get more work done, his beeper rang. It is a message from Roger telling him to meet at an address in southwest London as soon as possible.

“What the hell.” Brian muttered. Concerned that it might actually be something serious, Brian grabbed his jacket and left the studio.

The address Roger sent turned out to be a small, quiet park at the side of the neighborhood street. Roger was hiding behind shrubbery looking into the park. When he saw Brian, he waved the guitarist over.

“What are you doing here?” Before Brian could continue, Roger covered his mouth.

“Would you please lower your voice.” Roger scolded in a hushed tone.

Brian frowned and looked at the direction Roger was staring. To his surprise, he saw John, with a boy of 11 or 12 years of age whom he did not immediately recognize.

“That’s Cameron.” Roger whispered. Brian suddenly remembered. The boy was indeed John’s second youngest son Cameron. They haven’t seen him for a couple of years, he has grown quite a bit taller compared to Brian’s memory.

So that’s what Deaky has been doing all those afternoons. Brian realized with a heavy pang of guilt in his heart. Oh Deaky, his sweet, considerate Deaky. He mustn’t want Brian to see how pathetic he was trying to reconnect to his children so Brian wouldn’t feel sad for him, to relieve his lover the burden of guilt for the situation which Brian know he has caused.

“Dad, I wish you could visit us sometimes.” Brian heard Cameron complain. “We all miss you so much. Laura was crying to Mum the other day wanting to see you after they had a big row. Josh is quiet and Luke is snarky, but I know they both miss you.”

John sighed and hugged his son. “I know Cam. You have no idea how much I miss all of you. You can bring them here you know, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If they want to come.”

Cameron nodded. “I will ask them.”

“How are Robbie and Michael. Are they enjoying uni? Enjoying the freedom?” John asked.

“I think so. Robbie still comes home once a week or so. Michael hardly ever comes home anymore, only when he runs out of clean cloth or food. Or that’s what Mum said.”

John couldn’t help but laugh at his son’s childish comment. “How is your mother by the way.”

“She is okay. I think she just works too hard and is too tired. That’s why she is short with us sometimes and why she and Laura just can’t get along.” Cameron replied sadly.

John rubbed the boy’s dark hair, “you help her Cam. You are a big boy now.”

Cameron nodded. “I do Dad. I wash the dishes on Monday and Tuesday while Laura does them on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Luke does the weekend. Josh helps to clean the table and kitchen.”

“That’s good. You are all such good kids. Dad is proud of each one of you.” John turned and brought a gift box out of the bag sitting on the bench. He handed it to his son and said, “it’s Luke’s birthday tomorrow. Can you pass on the present I got him? Don’t let him or your mother know it’s from me to avoid unnecessary fuss.”

Cameron’s face lit up in a smile. “Oh, don’t worry Dad. I won’t tell Mum. Luke will say something sarcastic but I know he will be ecstatic to get a gift from you, Dad.”

Brian wiped a drop of tear from the corner of his eye. He turned and walked away causing Roger to follow him quietly. He can’t bear looking at the scene anymore. He didn’t regret giving John the ultimatum two years ago because he had been so deliriously happy these past two years that he didn’t think it was possible. And he was sure John is equally as happy.

He knew there were consequences. He knew there were wounds. But he didn’t expect them to hurt this much. Watching the interaction between John and his son in the park, Brian felt multiple kicks in the gut. He felt even more painful than when his own kids wouldn’t talk to him.

“I’m sorry Deaky. I will try to make it up to you.” Brian murmured under his breathe while a plan was forming in his head.

Brian was pacing anxiously back and forth on the porch in front of John’s old house in Southwest of London. He was not able to get a wink of sleep the previous night which he spent watching John in peaceful slumber while stroking his now soft graying hair. This early spring morning, Brian snuck out of the recording studio the first chance he got.

Even if Veronica did give him a chance to speak, Brian was not sure what he was going to say. He had not felt this nervous for a long time. He just knew he had to do this. He had to do this for Deaky.

“What are you doing here?” Veronica shot Brian an icy glare as she was coming up the porch from her car. She was still pretty and well put together, but definitely looked older and thinner than the last time Brian saw her a couple of years ago.

“Ronnie?” Brian said hesitantly.

“Please stop calling me that. And you should know you are not welcome here, Mr. May.” Veronica snapped.

Brian sighed. He knew this was going to be difficult. “Ms. Tezlaff, I came to talk to you.”

“I don’t think we have anything to talk about. I have a busy schedule today so if you could please leave.” Veronica walked past Brian toward the front door of the house.

Brian stood between the woman and the door. “Veronica, please just hear me out for a minute. I want to talk to you about John and your kids.”

Veronica froze at the mention of her ex-hushand’s name. She turned away from Brian, “if you are here to laugh or pity at me. I suggest you leave now. I get it! John left. He left me and the children. You have him now. What else do you want?”

“Veronica. I now you don’t want to hear me say sorry, but I really am. It’s a difficult situation for everyone.” Brian took a deep breath. “John loves you. He never stopped loving you. He left because he loves you and wants to be honest with you. He loves his kids and it’s breaking his heart to not be able to see them.”

“Well, he should have thought about that before he left.” Shoulders shuddering, Veronica’s voice cracked and Brian could tell she was crying.

He tentatively put a hand on Veronica’s shoulder which she immediately shrugged off. Brian sighed and walked in front of her. “I know you are angry Veronica. I know you hate me. You hate John. But did you think about the kids? John is still their father. Can you tell me now that they don’t miss him?”

Veronica sobbed harder while Brian offered her a tissue. He continued, “when Chrissie first divorced me, she didn’t let me see Jimmy, Louisa and Emily for a good three years. I missed them so much that it was killing me every day. In the end, she backed down because she knew they missed me too. I know this is hard for you Veronica. John had hurt you deeply and you want to get back at him by not letting see the children he loves. But I also know each one of your kids miss John. Do you think it’s fair for them to deprive the chance of seeing their father?”

Brian did not say anything else, just offered more tissues to the teary woman. They stood there in silence except for Veronica’s quiet sobs. When she calmed down, she asked, “John told you to come today didn’t he? He doesn’t have the guts to see me himself.”

Brian shook his head and smiled sadly, “no. John doesn’t know about this at all. He understood you are angry and respected your decision. I came because I couldn’t stand to see John, you, and the kids all suffering so much. You have always been a kind and generous woman Veronica. I don’t expect you to change your mind. You need to take your time. But just think about what I said okay?”

Brian zipped up the collar of his Jacket and walked into the early spring rain. He never expected to hear the words, “Luke is going to have a birthday party today afternoon. Everyone will be here around 5. If John wants to drop by, it’s not the worst thing in the world.”

Brian was so excited that he almost ran up to Veronica and gave her a hug. He stopped himself and just choked out, “thank you Veronica. Thank you so much!”

As Veronica went inside the house, Brian could not tell the drops on his face were rain or tears of joy.

“Ronnie is an amazing woman.” John sighed.

Freddie nodded in agreement, “and Brian really loves you.”

1997

“Deaky!” Roger got up from the recliner as he saw his friend walked through the door of the lounge. He grabbed John in a bear hug which John gladly reciprocated.

“Roger, you and your ridiculous shades.” John laughed as he shook his head. “Can’t you just wear regular glasses or get contact lens?”

“Hey, I’m a rock star, not a nerd.” Roger sat back on the recliner chair and beaconed John to sit on the leather sofa beside him. “Come sit. Anything to drink, Deaky? Coffee? Tea? Booze?”

“Tea would be fine.” John replied as he sat down.

Roger used the phone on the side table to order tea for John and more wine for himself.

“You have gone soft Roger. You drink wine now? No more hard liquor?” John snickered.

Roger shook his head, “not getting any younger, Deaky.”

“So this is where you hang out now? VIP club lounge.” John raised his eyebrows as he looked around the fancy room.

“Just some peace and quiet from home, mate.” Roger lit a cigarate while offering John one.

John shook his head. “I quit. Brian made me.”

“I knew this would happen!” Roger exclaimed. “So where is Brian?”

“He’s coming from the recording studio. Will be here any minute.”

Roger leaned back and sighed, “since we made that Made in Heaven album, we don’t get to hang out as much anymore. I feel like I haven’t seen you two in ages. What have you been up to?”

John poured himself some tea and sipped. “Brian has been busy recording his solo projects, and also saving all the badgers in England. I have just been a home body really, reading some books, spending time with my kids. Oh, I enrolled back into the master program in electrical engineering at uni, the one I dropped out in 1974. But this time I think I will transition to doctorate program.”

“Oh wow, good for you Deaky. Brian will be so jealous.” Roger laughed.

“Who will I be jealous of?” Brian’s voice came from behind the pair as he walked through the door.

“Brian!” Roger set down his wine glass and jumped onto the taller man.

“Wow easy Roger. You are not as petite as 20 years ago and my back is not as sturdy.” Brian chuckled as he tightly hugged his blond friend.

Brian bent down to gently peck John’s temple before sitting down beside him on the sofa causing the bassist to flush for a short moment. Even after so many years, John still blushes at Brian’s intimate gestures in public even though this is just in front of Roger.

“Deaky is just telling me how he enrolled back into his doctorate degree he left 20 years ago.” Roger filled Brian in on the conversation.

Brian smiled proudly and rubbed his lover on the back, “I know. It’s great isn’t it? I am going to get my astronomy doctorate one of these days too.”

“Of course, you will.” Roger rolled his eyes.

“What did you call us here for Roger?” John asked, “it can’t just be because you missed us.”

“Well, I do miss you guys.” Roger said matter of fact. “But I also have something else on mind.” He turned to Brian, “I heard the demo of the song ‘No-one But You’, Brian. I think it’s great. We should record it.”

“I sent you that months ago Roger! You just listened to it now?” Brian pretended to sound hurt. “And yes. For your information, I do plan to record it.”

“Well, I am a busy man.” Roger snorted. “And no Brian. I meant ‘we’ should record it, as Queen.”

Brian and John shared a look before John replied reluctantly, “I don’t know Roger. I haven’t been playing regularly for a while.”

“Come on Deaky, even Roger thinks so.” Brian rubbed John’s shoulder, “you are so talented you will find the groove in no time.”

“Yeah Deaky. Think of it as a tribute to Freddie.” Roger knew the bassist could not refuse if their dear friend’s name was mentioned.

John agreed just as Roger expected. He and Brian exchanged a grin.

Brian poured himself a cup of tea, “I agree we should make and perform more music as Queen. But to do that, we need a new singer.”

“What are you saying Brian? Don’t tell me you are suggesting to replace Freddie.” John sounded surprised.

Brian shook his head, “never. We can never replace Freddie and nor do we ever want to. But when I went to see him the last time a couple of days before he passed, he told me clearly that his last wishes were for us to continue making music and perform our music to the next generation. In order to do that, we do need another front man. What do you guys think about Robbie Williams?”

“The kid from Take That?” Roger asked.

Brian nodded, “yes. I met him a couple of months ago at an event. He’s a good kid. He can definitely sing and perform. I got a call from Jim earlier today. Turns out he had been looking for a front man for us as well and he mentioned Robbie. I think he will be great for us and he is interested.”

“He’s a bit young don’t you think?” Roger pondered.

“That’s what we need, youth and energy.” Brian chuckled, “no one wants to see old ladies still rocking away. Besides, we were the similar age when we started. Deaky was even younger.”

Roger shrugged his shoulders, “you got a point. Yeah, Fred told me to keep on making music and keep his legacy alive as well the last time I went to see him.” Even after so many years, thinking about their charismatic friend still made Roger snuffle. “Let’s get together with him and discuss to see if we are on the same page. We need to do Freddie proud.”

Brian turned to the bassist, “what do you say Deaky?”

John got up and turned to look at the London skylines out of the window. He was quiet. He did not like this idea one bit. Just the picture of them on stage or studio with another person singing in Freddie’s place made him sick. Yet he cannot argue with Brian and Roger because he was the only one who didn’t have the balls to go visit Freddie one last time before he passed. He regretted it so much that to this day he could not think about the last days of Freddie without shedding tears.

‘I’m sorry Fred.’ John mumbled to himself as he felt his eyes getting watery. A pair of strong and familiar arms hugged him from behind.

“What’s wrong Deaky?” Brian whispered to his lover’s ear, “thinking about Freddie?”

Tears streamed down the younger man’s cheeks. John turned in Brian’s embraced and rested his head on the taller man’s shoulder.

“I don’t know if I can do it Brian.” John’s sobbed quietly, “I can’t imagine playing on stage with someone else in Freddie’s place.”

Brian kissed his forehead and tenderly stroked John’s soft hair with his fingers, “it’s okay Deaky. Fred wouldn’t be mad at you even if you can’t.”

Pictures of Freddie filled John’s mind. How Freddie took care of him when he first joined the band. How supportive Freddie was of his relationship with Brian even though they were both married men. How devasted he was when Freddie told them about AIDS. John really hated himself for being so weak. He couldn’t go visit Freddie during those last days. Now he couldn’t even help to carry on Freddie’s last wishes?

Roger came over too and hugged them both. “It’s okay Deaky. It will be hard for all of us. But it is what Fred would have wanted so we all give our best shot okay?”

John sighed and nodded. He cannot refuse to that.

Roger smiled and wiped off the remaining tears from John’s face with the back of his hand. “We are getting ahead of ourselves anyway. Let’s start with recording Brian’s No-One But You, just the three of us. Brian and I will sing. We see how that goes and we go from there.”

Thank god there are still Brian and Roger. John thought as he watched the support his bandmates showed to his future self. He stole a glance at Freddie standing beside him, who was quietly wiping off tears from the corner of the eyes but smiling at the same time.