#'yay we can socialize a ton'

[astrxealis]

life is not being silly to me rn

[t00thpasteface]

I never considered hawkahey before but I love it! Father is so calm and sweet except when worked up, whereas Hawkeye is always so acerbic and snarky except with the ones that he loves. The very definition of dog and cat boyfriends. :3 Thank you for opening my eyes!!

YAY!!!! welcome to the club!!!

the big thing i like about hawkahy, besides the ten metric tons of narrative symbolism they can carry together, is the way i think they resist a lot of your typical shippy/romcom templates. i've spent a LOT of time in fandom spaces over the years and i've gotten mostly pretty tired of the same formulas, especially when half the time it requires chopping off canon aspects of either/both characters just to make them fit. at least, i try to be conscious of a few different red/blue, this/that dichotomies when i write/draw them, and play around with the sorts of expectations one might have for them both as individuals and as a pair.

i actually have A Lot Of Thoughts about this so i'm gonna put my yapping under a readmore:

i think the show itself does a lot to twist expectations, by virtue of having begun as a satirical comedy (which is still what i think it does best), a genre which relies very heavily on ironic inversions of common character/social archetypes that the audience would be coming in with preestablished tastes/expectations for. hawkeye seems like a self-centered hedonist, but he's also highly introspective and articulate, so he's often quite capable of waxing poetic about why and how he does what he does, instead of just acting on raw instinct with no higher thought. meanwhile, mulcahy's entire thesis as a character is just lampshading or inverting every expected feature of a priest character; if he's the "father", then the other personnel are latchkey kids. the last thing i want to do is flatten any of that!

here's some specific tropes i try to keep in mind and intentionally upset, whether explicitly or implicitly, in my hawkahy art/fic:

hawkeye as the aggressive boundary-violator, mulcahy as the helpless victim having his lines crossed— hawkeye can be pretty pushy and insistent, but he's not one to commit actual assault, especially not to someone who wouldn't hurt a fly. even in an early-seasons scenario, i don't think he would move much faster than what mulcahy's comfortable with, at least not with anything more serious than jokes and come-ons; i think he prefers to awaken things in people and encourage them to loosen up, rather than pull them along by himself.

also, mulcahy is not a pushover; he just knows when to pick his battles and prefers to bite his tongue. he's certainly blown up on hawkeye before. it would also be fairly easy for mulcahy to throw hawkeye over his shoulder or snap the guy in half like a twig if he wanted to. when mulcahy does get pressured into doing something he doesn't want to do, it's the focus of an entire episode, i.e. the exception that proves the rule. if hawkeye's going to tempt him into something, it'll be because he really wanted to deep down and thus made that conscious choice, not because he got drunk at a party and hawkeye decided to try and cop a feel.

hawkeye as someone who needs a tumultous relationship and thus won't be satisfied by stability— i talked more about this in a previous post, but i think hawkeye does want to settle down eventually. like i said, he comes off as a hopeless romantic. we know he watched a lot of movies; he almost certainly grew up on those "screwball comedies" that were so big in the 30s and featured neurotic nutjobs pratfalling their way into a genuine happily-ever-after. i don't think he'd want to settle down with just anybody, nor do i think he really places a lot of value in fulfilling those milestones of "get married by X age, buy a house with Y rooms, and pump out Z kids" just for the sake of fulfilling them and keeping up with the joneses, but i think he'd love to marry for love. again, he was certainly planning on it before the war, and he admitted that he's still carrying a lot of hurt from having that domestic future taken away from him so abruptly.

mulcahy as the innocent ingenue— this one is complex, and of course i'll preface this by saying i'm predisposed to not being all that intrigued or entertained by genuinely innocent characters. i find them to be something of a nonstarter, narratively speaking. beyond that, they tend to be unrealistic in certain settings and demographics. yes, there will always be people living in a bubble for every possible background and age group, but i find it implausible that a man could be 30 or 40 years old and enlisted in the military and still somehow be as naive as a sea sponge in a pineapple.

mulcahy is definitely not all that worldly, and starts off with a somewhat myopic view of his role in the grand scheme of things, particularly as it pertains to the motivations and effects of missionary work. he did join the military of his own volition, but i also think the mulcahy we see at the end of the war (and even at several points in the middle of it) is not the same mulcahy that volunteered to be here in the first place. what's more, we see from lines like "i know all about motels" or his hesitance to say hello to his family on camera that he probably picked up a lot of the hard lessons and ugly experiences that are typical growing up working-class in a big city. i think it's a disservice, both to the character and to the broader themes of the show, to assume that mulcahy's optimism and cheeriness must come from a place of inexperience. yes, he has plenty of room to grow, but he wasn't born yesterday, and i think his optimism is far more the result of a conscious choice to do good than an innocence to the evil in the world.

as for sexual stuff in particular, he mostly reacts to hawkeye's promiscuity with knowing winks and smiles, and even jokes with him about it, which i think is pretty clearly enabling him. sure, he bolts out of those VD talks, but with henry's public speaking skills, can you really blame him for eagerly excusing himself? plus, he has a strong incentive to act more innocent than he really is, because if he plays dumb, it means he won't be preemptively excluded from the conversation by people who think he's easily offended by bawdier talk. he may not be up to date on all the slang, nor is he always observant of certain subtle cues, but he's not a pearl-clutcher; that role is fulfilled by frank, margaret, and charles, so it would be redundant to make mulcahy also gasp and scold people like hawkeye for having premarital sex. mulcahy largely serves to validate hawkeye as being in the right in these disputes. which brings me to:

hawkeye as the amoral maniac, mulcahy as the moral compass— this one especially flies in the face of the spirit of the show, i think. hawkeye is doing his absolute fucking best! he would do anything to save a life, and it doesn't matter whose. he's willing to run into active artillery fire to rescue enemy soldiers, to stay behind and monitor a patient while the camp moves out, and to potentially get himself killed just to stand by his principle of never carrying a gun. he sleeps around as a coping mechanism, but more than that, i think he also does it out of a genuine desire to share some happiness with others in an otherwise miserable and dehumanizing place.

even mulcahy doesn't care that hawkeye does all that other stuff on the side. he wouldn't do a lot of it himself, but that's not an issue to him. again, his entire schtick as a character is being "unpriestly" to comedic/dramatic effect, like winning at poker, getting drunk before a sermon, etc.; he's far more accommodating than he is preachy. he has a profound respect for hawkeye that can be seen even in season one, because hawkeye always looks out for the frightened and vulnerable, and that's what matters to him above all else. mulcahy loathes lip service and values action over feel-good talk, which means he cares more about hawkeye doing the right thing than the superficially squeaky-clean thing.

pairing hawkeye with mulcahy invites some incredibly rich commentary on what "morality" even means, but i think getting hung up on the fact that hawkeye drinks, gambles, and has a LOT of premarital sex is completely missing the point and only reinforcing the puritan ideals that mash itself is trying so hard to upset and dissect.

the cute, sweet, blushy, short one is the sub and/or bottom— nah son. hawkeye is always talking about getting pregnant. mulcahy works out and likes to roughhouse. you do the math here.

ALL THIS TO SAY... i really encourage people to look beyond the stereotypes of horndog and cinnamon roll, or frat boy and nerd, or whatever other thought-terminating cliche one may be tempted to apply to these guys. hawkeye is a sleaze, but he's also sensitive and articulate. mulcahy is a sweetheart, but he's stubborn and resilient. they both go so much deeper than the superficial tropes, and what makes them work so well as a couple IS their ability to bring out those interesting, lesser-known facets in each other, both as characters interacting with each other and as symbols placed in juxtaposition to serve the themes of the show.

[bouncybongfairy]

Wild Night

Summary: You are convinced by your best friend Stacey into having a wild night at the club where you met Rick Sanchez.

TW: Drug Use | Smut | Alcohol | Rough Sex.

Rick Sanchez x Reader

Word Count: 3k+

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

You rummage through your purse, trying to find your lanyard to unlock the door. After what seems like an eternity, you finally get the door open. You set your bag on the island in the kitchen and check your phone. Today was your Friday, and you were looking forward to your three-day weekend from work. With school, work, and your social life, you only want to sleep when you get free time. This was something your inner circle was noticing and pointing out more often. Your phone rings with the collar ID of Stacy. You met her in statistics class and really hit it off. 

“Hey girl,” you say into the phone while walking into your bathroom to take off your jewelry. 

“Y\N! What are you doing tonight? Novah and I planned on going to The Wormhole tonight and we really want you to come.” She said into the phone, the faint sound coming from the background. 

“I don’t know Stacey, I have a ton of homework and I worked today,” you say, taking your earrings off and your claw clip. 

“Please, just come out. You told me yesterday that you have a three-day weekend.” She remarked while Marina played quietly over the speaker. 

“What does that have to do with anything? My free time isn’t your availability.” You said leaving the bathroom and going to sit on your bed. Stacey sighed and switched her tone before speaking, 

“Look, I really miss you. I know you’re working and have a life and I admire how dedicated you are. It just can’t be healthy to be going so non stop. Please just come out with Novah and me, have one or two drinks and if you really are not feeling up to it we can Uber you home. I’ll come over and we can get ready together.. please..?” Stacey at this point was begging. 

“Be here in like, an hour okay?” You say while turning the shower water on the heat up.  

“Yay! I’ll be there soon girl, I promise you won’t regret this.” Stacey sang into the phone before hanging up. Once you thought more about it, you began romanticizing the idea of going to the club. Getting all done up, breaking out the lashes, extension, heels, mini skirt.

The last time you went out with Stacey you damn near blacked out. Dancing with the strippers on the pole, body shots, the looks you got when you started grinding against Stacey. Once the water was warm, you stepped into the shower and started washing your body. The Wormhole is the sickest club you've ever been to. The bouncers do a great job of keeping creeps out. Some of the bottle girls sell molly and they have strippers. 

"What did I get myself into tonight?" you mutter to yourself and you rinse the shampoo out of your hair.

~

Once Stacey got there, they began doing their makeup in front of the mirror built on your closet door. You were clipping your extensions into your hair while she was applying power to set her foundation.

"So.. are you planning on getting laid tonight?" Stacey asked, shifting through her make-up bag. You chuckle while grabbing your curler and wrapping your hair around it,

"Honestly yeah, I haven't gotten dick in like, three months." You said finishing up your hair, teasing it a bit to give it some volume.

"Oh my gosh, are you serious? Yeah, it's a good thing that I convinced you to come out tonight because that's some grandma shit right there," she said, spraying setting spray on her face.

"I don't know, I'm just tired of the ending. It's like the buildup is great. We're all taking shots and smoking, dancing the night away. The end of the night begins to approach and you start looking for the guy you're gonna take home. The sexual tension is like so electric when you're dancing with said dude or on the car ride home. You get in bed, he'll dig into your hip for a while and then when you do start having sex, they last like 45 mins then collapses after they finish. Then sit there in award silence for 10 minutes before getting dressed and mumbling: mY uBeR iS hErE and run out the door. It's just too much." You said while fixing your eyelashes and grabbing a couple bobby pins to secure your bangs to the side, "do my eyelashes look even?" You ask Stacey who had just finished lighting a blunt, handing it to you so she could answer your question.

"Yes, they look even and yeah I get that. It's hard to find guys our age that can play that mind game. Like, the cat and mouse game. You know, like flirting and teasing but I would settle for a guy who could find the clit without help!" She said, bursting into laughter. "That is setting the bar low, even for you." You joke back while exhaling your hit before turning back to finish getting ready.

~

After about another 30 minutes you both were leaving your apartment to get down to The Wormhole. Novah was going to meet you both there and you were really excited. After pre-gaming with the blunt Stacey had rolled, you were feeling so optimistic about the night. Especially compared to how you felt before the invite. You're wearing a jean mini-skirt that pretty much looks like a tube top. Pink, chunky pumps, and a white long-sleeve crop top that left your mid-section bare. Your platinum blonde hair blown out Farrah Fawcett style resting on your shoulders and back. Of course, the Juicy bag that you stole from your sister in high school. It really wouldn't be a complete outfit without it. Once you guys walk into the club you immediately find Novah, who saved a table for you guys.

"You know Y|N, when Stacey texted me that you were going to meet us here I can't say that I believed her but I'm so stoked you came out!" She said playfully pushing you on the shoulder. You laugh and nod your head, "Yeah it's been all work no play but I'm here tonight and I'm trying to get fucked up." You giggle which makes both girls laugh. "Let's drink to that whore," Stacey says, walking away to order a bottle.

It was somewhere between the fifth shot of GreyGoose and the second joint you smoked in the bathroom that you became more open-minded. Stacey was behind you, grinding her pelvis against your ass. Novah was dancing in front of you holding their mixed drink in the air. You were really starting to feel drunk at this point, especially when you started wanting a cigarette.

"Our bottle girl has molly, are you down?" Stacey whispers in your ear you immediately turn around and flash her a devilish grin which causes both of you to break out into laughter. You guys track down the bottle girl and buy 60 dollars worth of molly.

That was when you first noticed him, it honestly was a bit embarrassing. You had dipped the acrylic nail on your pinky into the small baggie of powder and brought it up to your nose. Right as you snorted the molly is when you locked eyes with him. His hair was so blue, like seriously blue. He had on a lab coat which at first struck you as weird but it really goes with his whole vibe. One of the first things you notice is that he's alone or at least you were hoping he was. Without breaking eye contact with you, he grabs his glass and takes a couple of swigs.

"Hello, Y|N are you good?" Stacey asks while stroking your hair. "Um, yeah but, do you see that guy over there who -hiccup- who is that?" You ask, referring over to the blue-haired man.

"Oh, that's Rick Sanchez or Smith or something like that, uhh, I think I went to high school with his granddaughter. He's a drunk but also like a crazy scientist who has this weird-ass car airplane hybrid vehicle thing. I don't know tho." Stacy slightly slurred while still dancing to the music that was blaring, "Are you thinking about getting at him?" She asks you while pulling you in to start dancing again.

"Well yeah, I mean like I said I'm tired of clueless men so maybe I should go after an older man, try something new." You said but you couldn't help but giggle the entire time while you said it.

'God this molly is so strong you thought to yourself.

"I support Y|N on their journey to getting space man dick," Novah said, grabbing Stacey as showed you away in an encouraging way to go interact with him. Under different circumstances, it might have taken you more of a pep talk to be so direct but with the liquid and powder courage took away any anxiety. You had to admit it was a bit nerve-racking when you first approached Rick. Most people change their facial expressions and body language to acknowledge the fact that you are approaching them. He just stared at you with the same facial expression from when you first locked eyes. Once you were standing directly in front of him you smiled and greeted him.

"Hey, your name is Rick right?" You asked, fixing your purse strap. "Are you trying to make small talk?" Rick asked sarcastically.

"Sure looks like it doesn't it." You snap back quickly, grabbing his glass and taking a sip out of the black straw. You quickly realize what you thought was a glass of water was indeed pure vodka. You bite down on the straw to keep your face from grimacing.

"What's your name?" Rick snickered, taking the glass back and taking three large gulps.

"Y|N, my friends said that you're a spaceman. Are you?" You ask, becoming impatient on trying to find a good opportunity to ask him to dance.

"How does that concern you or your little girlfriends?" He asked leaning so she could hear him over the speakers.

"Oh, that doesn't really concern me, you know what really does worry me? The fact that you aren't grinding against me on the dance floor. Don't you find that concerning?" You ask sarcastically, grabbing his belt loops and using them to pull yourself closer to him. This causes him to stand up from the bar stool he was sitting on. That was when you realized how tall he was, he was literally towering over you. Your neck was bent completely back to look up at him whereas his head was hanging down to see you.

"I'm not going to be your parent for the night, I don't want to deal with daddy issues." He said which made you throw your head back and laugh. You felt his hand on your back catch you in case you lost balance.

You grab the bag of molly out of your cleavage and scoop a fair amount of powder onto your nail. You bring it up to his nose and whisper in his ear as he snorts it, "I don't need a daddy, I need a dick that lasts longer than an hour and doesn't need GPS to get to its destination." You giggled as he pulled you in closer, almost causing your feet to lift off the ground.

"I think we're gonna make a great pair." He said as he led you to the dance floor. You had been standing with Rick for so long that when you began making your way to the floor, you really began to feel inebriated.

The energy you felt between the two of you on the dance floor was unreal. To be fair, being intoxicated could be clouding your proper judgment but feeling Rick behind you was making your legs feel like it was burning. Such a warm feeling in the bottom of your stomach. As you were grinding against him you couldn't help but try to size him up.

"Your dick feels so fucking big." You said after turning around to face Rick. He was smirking at you, his body slightly hovering over you so he could squeeze your ass. Which is when a bottle girl walked passed and asked what time she would be meeting Rick after the club closes.

"Back the fuck up." You sneer, shoving her back causing a couple of the drinks on her tray to spill on a couple of people around you. Immediately the bouncers come to remove you but Rick grabs you by your waist so that your back is pressed against his chest.

"I got it, alright buddy calm down j-just calm down I'm taking- I'll take her." He said while you were trying to get out of his grip. Your feet were dangling and you eventually got your hand loose and immediately slid your hand down his happy trail as he walked you over to his ship which was parked out back instead of in front of the club. Once you get close enough to the ship he turns you around and slams you against the ship door. He pressed his body against yours making you pinned in between him and the metal.

"You're fucking mental. I'm not one of these frat boys who can't look past you. If I want to hook up with her or whoever the fuck I choose. Control yourself," Rick growled into your ear, moving one of his hands to grip your throat. You pull your legs up and wrap them around his waist and smile at him.

"Mental for your dick." You mumble against his lips which were chattering slightly due to the molly.

"Fuck it," Rick said pulling out his portal gun and creating the bright green gateway. It opens from behind you, Rick's face becomes illuminated by the green light.

god he looks so powerful

You both fall through the portal onto a bed. It took you a while to notice but the bed you were both on was your own. You run your hands down his back, digging your nails into his lower half. He groans as he grinds against you. You bring your feet up and try to push his pants off of him. He chuckles as he pulls away from you and sits up on his knees. As he began undoing his belt you couldn't help but admire his body. The T.V. was glowing behind him creating a halo of light behind him. He pulled a condom out of his lab coat. You sit up so that you are on your knees as well.

"Can I put it on you?" You asked, scooting closer to him and reaching for it. He looks down at you and smiles and hands it over. He pulled his pants down and you were pretty impressed. You rip open the condom with your teeth and slowly start rolling it on.

"I knew it was big," You say as you start stroking his dick. "I don't think anyone would disagree with you on that." He said crawling back on top of you. You pull your thong down but leave your skirt on. He trails his hand up your thigh and uses his thumb to rub your clit.

"Fuck you're already so fucking wet," He moaned, dropping his head onto your shoulder. You caress the back of his head with one hand and with the other, you reach down and line up his dick to your entrance.

He starts kissing your chest as he slowly slides into you. Rick is bigger than average so it was a bit uncomfortable. It really turned you on that you didn't have to ask him to take it slow at first. He puts his elbows by your ears and slowly starts to speed up. You run your fingers through his hair and arch your back.

"Fuck yeah feels so good to have you wrapped around me." He moaned out while picking up speed. You start bucking your hips up to meet his thrust. You bite down on his neck and let out a loud groan.

He flips you over so that you are on top. You move your hair out of your face and start rocking your hips back and forth. He threw his head back and bucked up into you which encouraged you to go faster. You could feel your heart rate speed up as you rode him. You become more winded and put your hands by his head to support some of your weight. Rick uses this to his advantage and bites down on your nipple. Beads of sweat were starting to form on your forehead, the only thing you could think about was building up to your climax.

You throw yourself back and rest your hands on your knees and start moving your hips in a circular motion. He sits up with you and looks up at you while you ride him. He runs his hands down your back and grabs your ass all while making eye contact. His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was slightly agape. His pupils were so wide that his eyes looked black.

"Mmhm, can you feel me tighten around your cock?" You ask, picking up your pace.

"Fuck I can't take it," You hear Rick mumble to himself as he flips you both around for the second time. This time you were on your stomach, he quickly inserted himself back into you. You let out a loud cry, not expecting the intense amount of pleasure so quickly. He shoves his hand underneath you and starts playing with your clit as he pounds into you. "Holy fuck I'm about to cum!" You scream out, and he bites onto the back of your shoulder. You both cum at the same time, Rick doesn't stop biting your shoulder until after he is finished. He quickly pulled out and tied off the condom, tossing it in the trashcan next to the bed. He collapses on top of you and soon after you both drift off to sleep.

~

Hello! This is the first fan fiction that I’ve ever published. Looking forward to writing more. Was thinking of making this a slow-burn fanfic but want to get public opinion before doing so.

[mygwenchan]

Is Playboyy really that messy?

If you look at the quick succession of scenes, some barely reaching the 2 minutes mark, the changes in mood and style - here a romantic kiss, there a dramatic reveal with the occasional social criticism thrown into the mix - the answer would probably be: Yes, it's very messy. The characters and the plot lines are plenty. You've got tons of imagery from other media as well - ep11 was especially rich in movie references. It's all over the place and it's a lot!

But I wonder, what if the series works similar to a pointillism painting?

It's one brightly colored dot right to the next, but the image itself will only be revealed when you take a few steps back. Only then can you see the figures and the landscapes immerging from the chaos.

If you ask me, Playboyy is like a collage of queer life. It takes the pop culture, the Greek statues, the (sometimes failed) romance, the sex and kink, the drama, the music, the clothes, the activism, the conflicts with older generations, the experimental styles, the references... The series takes all these things and sticks them together to create something new: They put Michelangelo's David next to a pair of rainbow angel wings, next to an article about murdered prostitutes, next to the cut out of an underwear fashion model, next to a cheesy quote from Notting Hill.

So Playboyy can't be only a series that discusses sex or offers criticism towards problems in our modern societies. You've got those things in there, mind you: Look at the upper right corner of the artwork and you'll find discussions about kink and consent or look down and you'll have your critique towards a government that can't even acknowledge prostitution is real. But as a whole, Playboyy is a collection of different experiences, things that happend and things that are only imagination.

The series itself tells us repeatedly that it's neither a thriller nor an action movie or an 80's romcom. Playboyy can't be just one thing, one genre, because it encompasses everything (everything that is queer that is).

It is up to us viewers what we want to take from this piece of art. You can watch it as a silly and entertaining flick (equivalent to: Yay~ Lots of bright colors and glitter :D) or go for the cinematography and the references (how did they even build this thing? o.O) or discuss political issues (let me read that news article again...), talk about sex and kink (is that a naked guy with a dog mask over there? omg!) and so on and so forth. I think in the end Playboyy the Series is meant to be a vehicle for us, to get the discussions going and to show us the many different facets of queer life in Thailand.

[nardos-primetime]

Social battery low all of a sudden but the drive to write is high and you all suffer for it. These headcanons don't really have a theme they're just things that are silly To Me.

Donnie is a good kicker idc what Canon says that mf can kick through a wooden door if he's in the zone (once he's out of the zone it hurts though.)

Leo is partially so all over the place because his brain gets overwhelmed a lot and his brain tends to overcompensate trying to focus on TONS of things at once, when he HAS to focus he normally uses headphones so he doesn't get distracted or off track or overstimulated (totally not projecting.) (I wanna draw something with this idea sometime.)

(^Donnie has similar issues slightly different tho)

Raph snorts when he laughs hard. The others play games where they try to get him laughing hard enough to hear it. Little comedy shows. You Laugh You Lose but it's If Raph Laughs We Win.

3 out of 4 turtles have a stealing problem. (Hint, it's not the red one.)

The boys can all dance well as a group (obv) they just struggle and can't sing together most of the time because they don't wanna focus on that part and doing a style that works all together. (Doesn't stop karaoke nights. Sometimes, they can get a good karaoke out, though, if the stars align.)

Mikey uses pencils and silverware to drum on things.

They're all scared of themselves in various ways YAY!!!

Donnie has his "sigh" and "scoff" etc, etc. Leo has "Oh yeah?! Smile emoji." "Really? Sad Emoji?" "Yay! Jumping emoji!" Or alternatively "Smile" "Frooooown" "Thumbs up!" (Totally not projecting.) (But it would also be a silly parallel to me.)

They're all undiagnosed. With what? You decide. But they live in an ND haven where since they grew up with just each other its never a "You're weird act NORMAL" thing because they thought it was just normal. Instead, it's a "You're weird, and sometimes I don't get you, but weird is also normal, so ily."

Mikey and Leo are hoppy boys! Hop! Hop! Hop!

Mikey is double jointed. Like. Everywhere. He freaks the others out with it sometimes.

Raph has a sweet tooth. He also cannot handle spicy food. On the other hand Mikey eats almost everything, Leo loves spicy food and is a masochist for levels of spice that should kill him, Donnie likes spicy food but he oddly doesn't feel much of the pain and barely responds to it.

Leo and Donnie are both omniverts, but Donnie's on the more introverted side mostly and Leo on the extroverted side mostly.

Not a single complete cishet at the turtle function.

They like to lay in piles.

That's all for now bye-bye.

[star-on-a-beach]

Icia & Starro: Splataocc Edition!

Icia:

Once a top-ranking Elite Octoling serving the Octarian forces, now a reformed bodyguard for one of Splatsville's newest idols, Icia's got a cold touch but a TON of skill to back it up with her Splatana Wiper. She may distrusting and freeze up a lot, but according to all sources she's actually super warm and chill (yes we know those two don't mix, but with her they do)! In an interview, Starro said "I've invited her up on stage a ton, everyone in Splatsville would love her if they don't already. Which they should, she's great!". We all totally agree. And between you and us, there's rumors the two are even siblings.... but shhhhh, we're still looking into that!

Starro:

Not a lot of solo idols make it big, but Starro's shows are a total hit with his bold and bright performances full of risky aerial arts and dance-till-you-drop music! He's known for being a total social butterfly in the public, always laughing and smiling during interviews, and making sure he always ends up friends with anyone he collabs with. When Starro's not on camera or a stage though, he's actually super shy and flusterable (at least, that's what the rumors say), some even calling him a 'mega romantic'. In his free time he claims to enjoy practicing his aerial arts (seriously, those silk show tickets are to DIE for) and train with Light Tetra Dualies alongside his bodyguard.

ALRIGHT THERE YOU HAVE IT

IM DONE WITH THESE FUCKS

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

And here's some more fun facts about them both in this:

Icia used to have the seaweed on the side of her head, but ripped it off after defying the Octarian's orders. She only keeps her armor because it's good defense and she's not afraid of people knowing where she's from.

Starro's hair stays black in battles- it's his stars that change color to reflect his ink color. When he's not battling, his normal color is red (obviously).

Icia's a little less fashion-oriented than normal, but she still dresses good when not 'on duty' thanks to Starro.

Starro's favorite song to perform is called "(ink) Puddle", where he gets to soak his equipment in ink and swim around them in Octo form and do a big drop at the end into whatever ink dripped from his stuff (which is usually a lot). Icia also secretly did some background vocals when recording!

Icia's still quite cold to the touch- rather than it being because of a 'curse' though, it's just some extra Octarian conditioning that slowed her heart rate and lowered her body temp (this is also a ref to a certain character from another game...)

Starro used to have a celeb crush on Callie. USED to.

Aaand that's all I can think of. Yay :D

@invaderxeya

[amailboxlemur]

Three years ago today I watched Young Royals for the first time.

Story time/long post incoming. I wasn’t in a great headspace at the time, but let me try to set the scene.

Spring of 2021 was still pretty deep in the pandemic. My province had been on lockdown (number 3) since the beginning of April and I hated working from home. Partly because teaching online piano lessons sucks. But also I live alone, and lockdown is too much alone time no matter how introverted you are. I think that spring I went about 6 weeks without speaking to someone in person who wasn’t like a grocery store cashier.

I decided to go stay with my parents for a few weeks so I could get some human interaction. At the time, I was mooching off my former roommate’s Netflix that was still signed in to our living room TV, so I didn’t have Netflix access.

I also love Red White and Royal Blue, and all of a sudden in early July the fandom got flooded. There were gifs of two unfamiliar teenage boys all over my dash. Fanart of two boys who looked like Alex and Henry captioned “Wilhelm and Simon”. There were a bunch of crossover fics popping up on AO3. I was curious, but mostly I just wanted to get a feel for the characters so I could read said crossover fics.

July 12th was my first day back teaching in person. (Side note: the health precautions we had in place for those lessons were WILD). I came back from my parents place in the morning, taught in the late afternoon/evening and returned home around 8 pm. I made supper and figured I’d try watching an episode of this “Young Royals” thing. I started it and remember groaning when I realized it was in Swedish so I’d have to focus and read subtitles instead of watching mindlessly (I’m too pretentious to watch the dubbed version, but it had been a long day)

“Oh that’s a beautiful boy with a beautiful voice singing… I can keep going…”

“Ohhh they’re about to kiss… wait what? How does episode 1 just end there??? I have to watch another episode!”

“Yay they finally kissed!! But how will Wilhelm react?? It’s not even 11 yet, I think I can watch one more”

“Erik is dead. I knew this was coming because I saw the “beta read but Erik’s still dead” tag on AO3 but totally forgot! How will this affect my boys?? One more episode, just to see if wilhelm pushes Simon away again”

“Ok good, they’re together. August sucks though, I can see where this is going and why there seem to be so many comparisons to rwrb. But it’s past midnight so I’ll have to keep watching tomorrow… wait there’s only two more episodes?? Might as well finish”

Before I knew it, it was 2 am and I was crying on my living room couch. I NEVER get into new shows, I have tons of things I watched 1-3 episodes of and then quit, so I couldn’t believe I binged the entire thing. It was late so I went to sleep.

In the morning I woke up and the rabbit hole began. I read all the fics on AO3, I started following young royals stuff on tumblr. I googled the actor who played Simon and found out he’s an actual Swedish pop star? I think he was among the first artists I followed using my then brand new Spotify account. I followed both Omar and Edvin on instagram, along with Lisa (other actors followed later). I watched all the young royals promo videos on YouTube, including the Hillerska choir performance. That entire summer was spent diving down Omar’s back catalog of Foo vlogs. Some of them are in Swedish, but I remember watching them intensely, as if I would magically understand if I tried hard enough. I started learning Swedish on duolingo.

When season 2 was released, I fully quit all social media for WEEKS to avoid spoilers. I spent 3 days carefully messing up my sleep schedule so I could wake up and watch it at 3 am. When season 3 was released I was such an excited puppy dog that I didn’t sleep at all. I watched it at 3 am and spent the whole rest of the day amped up and on tumblr.

I remember all kinds of fun and significant days in the fandom: Rockbjörnen 2021, musikhjälpan 2021. The lead up and release of Mi Casa Su Casa. The release of OMR. Omar gave me a birthday present in 2022 when he performed “breathe” on Nyhetsmorgon on my birthday. Gay gala 2022 but especially 2023. Both boys have done incredible sommarpratar. So many other galas and performances and photoshoots I’d be here all day listing them all out.

Becoming an Omar fangirl was also surprising. I don’t listen to or follow pop music (my definition of which is incredibly broad so yes, Omar’s music qualifies). Like, I’ve never had a favourite artist before? One who’s work I actively follow and whose releases I know about in advance and look forward to?

Omar announced his concert at Cirkus in November of 2023 and it fell at the end of a semester break from work. I could go without needing to refund or makeup any missed lessons. It felt like a sign. That week was genuinely one of the best in my life, words can’t even describe it. A transatlantic flight, a week in Europe. I got to see Kaggeholm. I met Omar at Lyko. I stood in general admission 3 rows back from the stage and heard Omar sing live and sang along with other fans. It was surreal. Shout out to @yrblogbaby @the-words-we-sung @crownedwille and @omarsimp, wow you’re all amazing. There was a queer joy to hanging out with y’all that weekend that I don’t get too often irl.

Since then, I’ve tried to internalize a little bit more the idea of community in fandom. I’m still not super out there, but I try to interact more. I lurked in this fandom (and so many others) for years. I made this account in something like 2011 and until recently I probably had less than 50 posts.

So yeah… saying this show changed my life feels dramatic but also accurate. Hopefully here’s to more years to come, and more good memories when I head to New York this fall!

[zorya-km]

Thumbprint Challenge

Thank you tons @calliecwrites for this tag ! First time seeing this one, I love it ! Yay for shaming myself ahha.

Rules: look back on your works, both past and present, finished and unfinished. What are five to ten narrative elements or tropes that continuously pop up in your work? Give a list of these things!

Found Families: Both in Starborn Sonata & Sunset Blood, my characters have some form of dysfunctional family that drives them to prefer choosing their new family. Love is stronger than blood. I tend to regard some of my friends and relationships as family and that has shaped my narrative. I feel like this is a theme that fits neurodivergent and queer folks like me, since we do tend to flock in packs.

Mentorship: In Sunset Blood, the mentor is more of a dedicated teacher, but he genuinely cares and advise the MC. In Starborn Sonata, it's outright a plot point: the mentor becomes part of the MC's found family. I was lucky enough to meet an awesome man during my teenage years who took me under his wings in many ways. Though he's now more of a second father to me, our relationship enlightened me on the importance of mentorship.

Queer Cast: Both of my main wips have queer leads. Sunset Blood has actually a female x female romance in addition to queer friendships; whilst Starborn has a bisexual lead and nonbinary important side character ! I write what my reality is and what I want it to be. Queer friends ? Check. Being able to be openly queer ? Let's write that !

Mental Health & Chronic Illnesses: I've struggled with both for a good period of my time and even sometimes unknowingly, my perspective on the world and how I write it reflects that experience of mine. I do also push those ideas into my novels, because I often wished to see in books strong characters that still had such issues. You can hence find sprinkles of anxiety, giftedness, hypersensitivity, adhd, fibromyalgia & emotional epilepsy in my characters !

Social Justice & Political Themes: I'm a lover of of complex and truthful settings; books that use fiction to make a social commentary. Whilst it's much more evident in Sunset Blood because advocacy is literally the theme of the book, it's a recurring idea in my wips. For exemple, Starborn Sonata features reflections on royalty and leadership responsabilities, balance between military and social programs, and government obligations to protect human rights.

Worldbuilding disease: I'm an avid lore reader when I like a book. Any additional material my favorite author publish ? I'll read them ! For me, the wonders of speculative fiction aren't just what's on the novel pages, but everything that's created to go alongside it. I want to feel immersed in different universe and I tend to go overboard with worldbuilding in my wips too. An animal mentionned once will have a whole page of lore in my novel bible... Years & months have their own significance. Even when I'm not writing specfic I have details hidden everywhere !

I tag @cheshawrites @writinglyra @thewritersplace @lexiklecksi & anyone who wishes to jump in !

[zmediaoutlet]

happy wincest thursday, liz!! what do you like to see in weecest fic?

aww yay, happy wincest thursday to you as well!

Hm hmm. Weecest. Well -- maybe it's more instructive for me to think about what I don't like to see, up to and including:

any kind of sexkittening. Just... no. Lolita Sam can also fall into a sewer where nothing's #aesthetically on point.

too-sophisticated attitudes about sex & relationships where it feels like they're blue-collar Cruel Intentions characters. You know? Even if Dean's fucked around (or been fucked, all around), he's still ~20 and therefore an idiot, and Sam's ~16 and therefore even idiot-er, and I want them to fumble around and be confused and have their emotions come as an overwhelming surprise, because they're kids! what's the point of weecest where they're not kids?

speaking of fucking around -- I don't like it when they're like way too experienced. There was this tendency in particularly older fic for Dean to have been fucking college girls since he was 14 or whatever the hell (have to assume that was written by teenagers, because anyone over 22 is going to look at a 14 year old and go 'ah, an infant') -- and even if Dean's been doing sex work of some kind, it feels goofy if that's like way ott standing on a corner misery porn rather than a series of opportunistic one-offs. Sam and Dean are both way too normally socialized (honestly, they really are) for it to be some goofy grodelord backstory of that type.

and so, following that, I do like to see some kind of normalcy (assuming we're going for a canon-feeling fic, which is always my pref). Sam should have some awareness of school & what normal people are like; Dean should be fretting about food and money and the car -- so they aren't existing in some weird incestuous oubliette where the rest of the world disappears, because Sam and Dean just don't do that and especially didn't when they were younger. Sam's got a school friend, Dean's got a girl at the grocery store he flirts with. I find wincest (either adult or wee) so much more interesting when they exist in a real world and move through it more or less competently and yet still turn inward to the family. Choice is always cooler than inevitability.

following again from normalcy: if a fic includes the conversation about how incest is illegal and either character says anything like the nothing we do is legal anyway, who cares?, I am exiting out and really considering doing the Ron Swanson meme of throwing my computer into the fucking dumpster. GOD. NEVER AGAIN. There's a reason I avoid first time fics, lol.

sorry I went into a brief rage blackout there -- uh, following again from normalcy: they do need to be aware of the incest thing being a problem but I don't want it to be necessarily about incest qua incest... which doesn't make a ton of sense as I write it out that way, but it's a tonal sweet spot that I'm looking for. Of course they should be weirded out and it should be intense and they should be overwhelmed (per the above bullet point), but given that they're kids I don't want them to have like a full adult horror at what the incest means. Worried John will find out and freak, sure -- knowing it has to be a secret, of course -- knowing that it's weird and probably gross, definitely -- and yet the hormonal tide they're being sucked into is too vast for all of that stuff to fully matter. I absolutely definitively do not fucking want Dean to say something like but we're brothers because no shit, of course they are, and there's something more tangled going on here.

If you haven't sensed it by now, I'm an infuriatingly picky fic reader. But I guess what all of this boils down to is the thing that's my preference in all fic: for them to feel like Sam and Dean Winchester from the canon of Supernatural, and for the setting of the fic to matter. I want it to matter that they're kids and I want it to feel like kids and not shitty fake Characters instead of people. High school settings where everyone's an overwrought and overwritten 27 year old suck. I'm not trying to watch Euphoria here; give me Sam Winchester age 15 being so confused and horny and upset and in love that he nuts in his shorts and Dean panics and then hugs him because he doesn't know what to do, either, because he's nineteen years old. Someone should probably get a noogie at some point. Idk.

Seriously though, the legal issues of incest thing: I will throw you into the sea.

[clunelover]

Okay random gripe - I have someone who is…borderline a friend, or I mean she is a friend but we haven’t yet crossed that line into being close. We’re on the cusp. She overlaps a lot of circles - she’s the wife of Jeremy’s BFF/former boss. She lives in the same communal housing thing as my BFF’s brother and SIL so she’s friends with them. We used to work at the same place cause I helped her get a job there, etc.

Anyway, BFF also likes her and wants to become better friends with her. We (BFF, her SIL, cuspy friend, and me) went out for NYE dinner together which was like, good but also a bit odd. Cuspy friend can get sort of…like she’s in a job interview rather than a friend hang? Like if you ask her about her life she’ll list off recent personal and professional goals she’s working toward instead of, like, what her two year old is up to. But I’ve also seen her be more open and share-y so who knows.

Okay that’s all backstory. BFF was saying we should all get together again soon so I tried to be a pal and get that off the ground. Everyone including cuspy friend seemed very enthusiastic. But I can’t help but notice that she made this more complicated at every step of the way:

- I asked for a very specific thing - happy hour drinks, and I said a specific bar I wanted to go to cause it’s got a great selection of NA drinks in addition to regular.

- She said how about dinner instead of drinks so we can hang out longer (okay fair but like…I’m broke! There’s a reason I suggested drinks! And by the way her husband is also currently out of work, he left the company where he was Jeremy’s boss and went somewhere else where he got laid off a few months later so I thought she’d get that).

- There’s the usual hassle of nobody is ever free (ahem, note that drinks are easier to squeeze in than a dinner at least in my experience)

- She is the friend that hosts an annual pumpkin carving party I mentioned a while back. When we were trying to decide on a date, she suggested the same day as her pumpkin party. Now, pumpkin party is in the afternoon, so this works time-wise, but I was kind of taken aback - who wants to socialize in a group for 3.5 hours and then go out to dinner with a subset/reconfiguration of the same group that same evening?? So I said I was busy then (and I’m glad I did cause she and I, as well as BFF’s SIL, talked TONS at pumpkin party so I would have been all used up in the evening).

- This Saturday is now the day we agreed on. BFF had told me she wanted Mediterranean food (pregnancy craving which I like to honor when I can!) so I sent a message saying “hey are we still on? Can we meet at [specific Mediterranean restaurant] at 6?”

- she replies saying that the place I named is good but kind of casual, and “I’d like to go somewhere nicer for our ladies night.” Then threw out like five options.

Oh my god…clearly we just have very different expectations and ways we like to plan things, nobody is “wrong,” but I am just noting that every time I tried to nail down specifics, she undid that and added more things we need to decide on. I said drinks. If you want to plan a fancy dinner instead, do that yourself! Also in my experience, friend hang planning is at its most annoying in the “I don’t know, where do you want to go?” “Anywhere is fine with me” phase, and so when anyone suggests a specific place, usually everyone is like “omg yay specifics, yes let’s do that” so I was surprised to be met with “no, not that” twice.

So, I still like her and want to be friends, but I’m not going to be reaching out to plan more things! Yeesh.

[safefort]

Looking for friends

I doubt anyone will see this, as I don’t post much on this blog like I had hoped but I’m looking for friends.

I am 20 soon to be 21, so please ages 18-35. I’ll tell you my name through DM’s. If you haven’t already guessed I am neurodivent. I’m autistic and socially awkward and I don’t like small talk. I’m dyslexic and dyscalculixic (I don’t know the correct spelling sorry). I have been going through a bad time lately, so sorry if I’m weird. But I won’t let it get in the way of friendship. I should also mention, since this tends to be a problem, I am not and never will be looking for a relationship. They are too complicated and I’m asexual. If you have read this far and would still like to be my friend, yay!

And here’s some positives about me:

-I will always try my best to be there for you! And I won’t ever judge, I’ve been through a ton and I don’t fit in so there isn’t really anything I’ll think of as weird.

-I’m sensitive

-I love animals!!!

-I like science and art, I’m currently studying psychology

-I like nature

-my interests are: animals, psychology and neuroscience, art, and cartoons (my favourites are amphibia, mlp, and she-ra and I am currently watching Steven universe which I love very much)

-I want to every little tiny thing about your interests!!! I love learning about others

-if your kind and we become friends, I won’t leave

You don’t have to also be neurdivgent, but you have to understand that I am and be okay that I’m a bit different

Before I end this here is a list of cartoon characters I relate to: Marcy wu, entrapta, fluttershy, twilight sparkle, and pearl

If anyone wants to be my friend, feel free to dm and I’ll respond as soon as I can

Okay, bye.

[blazingdarkness]

blazer goes to see a horror movie in theaters on purpose for the first time

I saw M3gan tonight!  I really liked it!  And then I rambled extensively about it in my discord nook!  And now I’m throwing all that on tumblr with very little editing because I feel like I should say more things on here!

spoilers, natch.

I guess my main opinion of m3gan is like I went into it being like 'either they're going to do basically this set of things with the premise, or they're going to try to do those things and blunder them, or they're not going to do them and it'll be a ton of wasted potential (or secret fourth option they're going to do something crazy innovative I guess)' and I was right!  they pretty much did the things I expected and did not blunder them there should be a black or outline-only star emoji so that you can combine them with regular stars to do ratings along with a half-filled one I will use moons instead

aesthetics 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗 so on the one hand they did the thing I was excited for, which was the combination of creepy doll imagery with robot stuff, and it worked really well!!  a lot of stuff like a doll moving unnaturally and jerking around and stuff is just straightforwardly transferable to an android, and I thought it was great.  half a moon taken off for the fact that m3gan was honestly like not that uncanny valley before the last like, ~15m or so, and I'm not sure whether she was supposed to be; I just honestly thought she was really cute and pretty.  maybe I just watch too many doll customizing videos, or maybe that was in fact supposed to be the impression

spooks 🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑 I feel like the hypothetical version of this which was not a horror movie is maybe better than what we got, but I'm not sure and I'm biased by not being a spooks person.  I did have to peek through my fingers a couple times, but the amount of runtime spent on spooks was like, barely any and at no point did I want to walk out or anything, which I'd thought would maybe happen.  for the most part the spooks were very silly and a little schlocky (affectionate).  I'm definitely glad I looked up a content warnings thing like 30s before the movie started that rated the movie according to various criteria; knowing exactly how many people are going to die was very helpful for me

(a friend here asked whether there were jumpscares)

jumpscares 🌕🌗🌑🌑🌑 there were a small handful of them.  one scene really heavily built up a jumpscare for like 45s only for the actual jumpscare to be very minor and not very scary if you really really hate jumpscares it might be too many; there are some, but they're like ~well-telegraphed and the actual thing is usually not that scary I only-one-really hate jumpscares ((would-not-play-fnaf level)) and I was pretty okay with them

social commentary 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 it didn't blow my mind or really change any of my opinions but neither was it inept or annoyingly preachy.  it was pretty obviously doing a thing with technology as a replacement for parenthood that maybe I would have stronger opinions about if I were ever going to be a parent, and I would say it executed on that decently well

more (including concrete ending spoilers) below

lsoh 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 it should have been lsoh.  m3gan kills the head of the company and another employee and nearly kills another two and it's very clear they aren't going to market.  they kill the one dollbody and yay, the day is saved!  ((except oooOOOooo maybe it isn't, because she hooked into the alexalike and that still exists oooOOOooo))  but she shoulda been bigger than hula-hoops goshdarnit.  explicitly.  in those words

ai x-risk 🌗🌑🌑🌑🌑 it's doing a lot with 'technology sure is a spook, innit' (again, without coming across as too preachy), but [points at previous rating category]

characters 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 I thought gemma and cady were really compelling and interesting people making reasonable mistakes and having problems that made sense for them.  I really liked cady's anger issues and the one big tantrum she had; it felt really human.  gemma as a neurodivergent person who was thrust into being her niece's guardian was great; she was making a lot of mistakes but you weren't for the most part going 'oh my god gemma no wtf'.  I really liked the two main coworkers and I'm glad they didn't die

acting 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 pretty fantastic stuff!  lot of subtlety going on; lots of good goofs when goofs were called for

explorations of personhood 🌕🌗🌑🌑🌑 so if there was one thing that I hoped it was going to delve into that it instead blundered, it was this one, but I guess I'll call it more of an inaccuracy (in the chess sense) than a proper blunder?  maybe??  hm. I would pretty solidly call m3gan a person, in terms of things we see her character doing, and there's definitely a ton of gemma like - I can't imagine that I'm supposed to have any other takeaway than that gemma is being cruelly dismissive of her.  like it's not subtle, but then it doesn't go anywhere??  m3gan just keeps murdering people, so she's the bad guy and we gotta kill her I think it would be a better movie if like - hm okay let's dig into some concrete examples here

•   m3gan asks about death, so she can better comfort cady about her parents, and also asks whether she'll someday die; gemma completely dismisses her and never answers •   gemma repeatedly "m3gan, turn off"s her in order to avoid having conversations and answering reasonable questions •   we get like, lingering contemplative shots of m3gan in response to these that clearly don't imply her questions as just being manipulative

so there's a major lack of resolution here.  I probably would have thrown some lines into the climax about this, maybe after m3gan declares herself to be her own primary user it's really easy to shut down with a 'cool motive still murder'!  it wouldn't have to take that long!

and like it's clear with the setup that this sort of ties into gemma not being socially competent in a parenting role and therefore throwing herself into what she's good at (robot toy stuff) to try and supplement her skills (but doing so in a way that prevents her from doing any attempted parenting) and it just would have been cool to see her grapple with the opportunity to have had two daughters; it feels like some balls were dropped here this is the part that most makes me want to glowf it in order to fix the potential

motifs / setup and payoff / cheer factor 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 yfip apparently I really don't like integer ratings that aren't 5 or 0.  anyways •   the coaster was definitely set up as a motif and like, it had some payoff but ehn I think I need just a little more of it.  ((there was a thing where cady keeps putting glasses right on the table even though there's a coaster right there and gemma asks her to put it on one, and it's supposed to be like 'man, this kid Just had her parents die and you care about coasters??'.  and then later during a particularly heavy conversation cady doesn't use one and gemma doesn't say anything and it's Growth.  (and then also later gemma is fighting m3gan and smashessplashes her with a glass of water on that same table)))  idk I guess I gained some appreciation for it typing this up and it's not like I fucking hate subtlety ((although I do fucking hate subtlety <3)) but I just want like, a hint more out of it •   bruce.  I love bruce and I cheered when his two chekhov's guns fired in the climax

viewing experience 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 eels and I were the only people in the theater and it was great.  kind of sad because I thought this was a good movie!  more people should see it!  but personally convenient (edit: apparently my mom thinks this is because of the specific theater (and it being at 5:30 on a wednesday) and probably not too reflective of this movie's success)

fuck 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 this pg13 movie's One use of fuck was pretty good

the thing with the therapist and bakugan 🌕🌕🌑🌑🌑 needs more followthrough.  man the therapist was such a dick to start with, and then came back to say a decently sensible thing later and that seemed to be pretty much it??  also like.  the thing with gemma's collectibles was very a way (in a way that I thought was very good), but also like, what of it? :think: I think the way I would have done it is - so what happens is that gemma has a bunch of collectible toys and cady wants to play with them, and gemma is like 'they're collectibles, not for playing with' and then a super judgey therapist comes to observe the two of them, and after some snotty and pointed comments on the part of the therapist gemma busts open her in-box bakugan, with a knife, clearly very uncomfortably and desperately and for the approval of this therapist and also like, just trying to be a good guardian and then there's some stuff about like, clearly the toy Does Something Cool but because of pressure from the therapist gemma and cady just kind of roll it around like a regular ball, and gemma is clearly just trying really hard the whole time to be chill it was really good!  but what of it!! I think the thing I want is like, if somewhere near the end gemma talks to cady about her collection, and cady shows an interest not just in them as toys but as pieces of history and design and they bond about it; I think there was some good groundwork laid for that although admittedly I'm not sure where you'd piece it in

also like.  I was very :packpackkillkill: (in a way intended by the movie) that like.  ms therapist you would not be acting like this if gemma collected rare vases or some shit!  just because they're shaped like toys doesn't mean she's being evil by having her niece wait one (1) day until she can get some actual toys for her.  jeegus.

gorls.  gedner. 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 ran into some pronoun ambiguity trouble typing the initial therapist paragraph and realized just how female-dense this movie is.  I don't think it passes the reverse bechdel test.  the following ranking is really subjective but I think you have to go out to the . . . fiiifth to maybe eighth most important character before you hit a guy?  depending on how you count it?  but it feels very natural, like I said I only just noticed it.  and none of it was sexualized or arbitrary or hashtag girlboss or pandering. and yet it's obviously not a Girl Movie even though I would say that dealing with being female is probably pretty central, nearly as much so as parenthood and technology and stuff, although I have Not Yet Unpacked That

sfx and visual design 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 it's really good!!  I've updated now and I think m3gan looks exactly as uncanny valley as she's supposed to, and she absolutely looks like a real physical android; there has to have been a ton of practical effects and I would totally watch a 20m video going into behind-the-scenes technical stuff to see the exact mix of puppetry and pingpongball acting and raw cgi.  her costumes are also gorgeous and there are a lot of really little things that work super well.  in particular I want to call out her charging station, which is just a spot she sits at on a window seat in cady's room that has a few light strips running across it; it works perfectly to convey what it is and give her a place to watch over cady while she sleeps and to look pensive or to creepily look out the window or whatever.  it's just really subtle mostly-beneath-notice design where the competence shines through in how little you need to think about it

goofs 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 it was pretty funny!  one article I saw calls it a creepy comedy rather than a funny horror and that seems decently accurate to me; I was at times guffawing and all of them were on purpose instead of at-but-not-with the movie

miscellaneous 🌗🌗🌗🌗🌗 •   the singing voice for m3gan was reallyreally pretty; I liked it a lot •   I would totally watch this movie again and hopeintend to own it on dvd •   there's so much on my glowfic plate but I'm making eyes and filing it away for later.  bigger-than-hulahoops delilah!m3gan and the one unit who's an ancora alt coming to you in 2025 •   oh another thing I really liked was the way all the robot stuff gave them an in to use a bunch of haunting imagery.  like I touched on this in the aesthetics section but there was also a really cool thing where she hooked into gemma's alexalike and had the lights flickering along with her freakouts and stuff it was great

[nasskg]

Friday was officially my last day at work, yay. On Thursday I begin working in a new place. I'm fucking anxious but very excited still. I get very nervous because I always want to pick up and learn fast, so that my perfectionism is fulfilled from the start. This is an issue which also makes it hard for me to pick up new hobbies: I sometimes get frustrated because I am not doing well from the beginning, so I drop them down altogether. The good thing is that I've noticed this, acknowledged it, and have started working on it. Finding a new job to start is a test for me to work on it, too.

I think that right now, at this point in my life, might be the most social I've been. I've had tons of new people I've met, and I have started going out despite not genuinely wanting to every time. I try to balance it by acknowledging the fact that I am a homebody, but that I also need to push myself not to isolate for prolonged periods and go out more often.

Consequently, I also started going to the gym again, despite feeling uncomfortable around so many people and especially comparing their physical appearance to mine. The most I've done which was a great leap of faith for me, was going against my fears and contacting the driving license school to see when we can eventually schedule driving lessons for me. I'm terrified, petrified and in general just dying by thinking of driving - but I will try to face my fear.

A situation I would love to be in right now - but I can't get around it for real - is to have a boyfriend. I would love to have somebody to hang out with, share intimate moments, do things together, hug and sleep in the same bed. I just can't find a person I like, I can feel comfortable with, I can trust, I can be with. Gay dating has been the biggest constant failure of my life in a sense. I recognize that it takes two to tango, and that it's not 100% my fault, but it kills me not having an intimate relationship with someone compatible.

Before I conclude, I just want to remember to practice some gratitude and say thank you to my family and dogs, my psychiatrist, my antidepressants, and of course my dear self. If it wasn't for us, I wouldn't be here today alive, appreciate the little things in life and going forward.

Now, let's enjoy Sunday.

[echidnana]

sun and 1 + 2h!!! love you!! hope your good <3 -finny

YIPPEEE hiiii finny ❤️❤️

sun ⇢ name 5 things you like about yourself?

YAY ok we r going to do like. collectively ajshdjqj

- we are good at getting things done!!! do we have to set multiple reminders and make several lists? yes. do we still forget things sometimes? also yes. but mostly we're really good at completing things by whent they're due!

- we're pretty friendly/easy to get along with usually? light socialization has become a lot easier for us which is super nice

- we actually like the body a lot? like obviously we have a ton of dysphoria and body weirdness due to being a system, but thinking of our body as The Body/a vessel has made it a lot better for us since we don't need it to be anything it isn't. it's just sort of like our house :)

- our music taste!! like obviously we like our music taste but idk it just makes us rly happy sometimes bc we listen to a lot of different stuff

- we think we're pretty patient/accommodating, even though some of that comes from trauma. it's something we can tell has some positive effects, like with helping our sister and interacting with people

1H ⇢ describe your style

we sort of just wear whatever? usually a graphic T-shirt and gray pants, sometimes basketball shorts or cargo shorts. ideally we want to start branching out a bit and wearing skirts occasionally and more types of tops, but bc dysphoria/safety we don't yet :(

2H ⇢ do you have any object that you like a little too much? what is it and why?

ooooo we don't feel SUPER attached to objects bc dissociation? but we really really love our plushie dreadfuls plural rabbit!! her name is snowbunny and he's a system :3 we also love our jellycat wilf + Kandi bracelet we wear everyday (HI SOLAR) + ring!

ask game

[the-firebird69]

Watch "Johnny Pag Regal Raptor 300" on YouTube

Is this stupid or what the guy has a aviator helmet on I can't stand these idiots get the hell it off what are you dark helmet yeah okay it's not us it's not you it really isn't it's a small fleet aviator helmets.

Dave

I'm going to start selling these again I don't know what the hell everyone's arguing about and he says these people want the bike and the max for chicken s*** lots of them not all of them and they don't want them getting up and stuff like that and guys that's terrified he's absolutely terrified and it's really a my husband says he says it's a matter of them using this as symbology for their revolution and it's really more so than females. And I know the code is that was my husband and I know the code says that they are to take it all and all of it and that's what I'm means and he was a mafia man pugliana was a mafia man and with the warlock riding them it means they are to take it all but right now all of it is Tommy F stuff and Tommy f is not even in the way it's these idiot Max so there's sort of figuring out something it might be stupid at the time but they don't want them to grab the stuff and get up and that's why they're in the way and hard knock 5150 means the same thing we want 51% of everything and your 50% too and that's what they're saying that's the one and 2% means. So he's making fun of this guy his yard sale it's going inside he's going to get a weapon his wife saying no we're going to get killed because of you comes out he's gone he says good thing he hears my husband saying good thing he's saying what are you talking about good thing you're done and he did leave and a couple days later the guy was dead and missing and I'm going to start selling these bikes tons of them will sell and there's a way to do it and you just make him and sell them you don't make a big deal out of it my husband wanted to he doesn't like what he's hearing it is a lot of Max in the way a lot of Max look at it and say good and Mac knows the mood they're in and so my husband does too they want to run around and be zippy doing your backyard. There's a lot more to it but they can't stand them anymore and they need to do something else anyways and these Macs are sitting back and letting Chris and Mac send it to holes and send them to the clones and it's ridiculous they don't want to work I've never seen somebody lazy people in my life is fat f****** losers I don't see around eating pig knuckles so they're redder than hell. My husband said to BG they're going to zip around I'll get killed they don't know what they're doing and he said shut your mouth so there's something but they'll never do it cuz they're lazy and Winston told me to have any money at all so if I go up to Tampa if they have a dealership in Tampa is really the place I think and I can test ride one with a 49cc the driver's license and that's kind of give me and gimmick and come back down and see what I'm saying then I can go back up and test drive a Hard knock kick her with 49 cc's and he goes so BG says wow that's pretty cool and but I need a way to get there and some funds and all sorts of things that people don't understand so here's another thing too if social security gets me 20 grand or 25 Grand in the first area they forgot to pay me for and it was probably Max were running it and they weren't doing it on purpose you have to find out why I guess the money is probably going to be coded so it's looking at why you can't figure it out so my husband says because they want to pay me Jesus Brian. We'll start selling this now and I actually have to run a test yay

Hera

So the bank says a purpose and so the other one and we know what he's saying it's kind of very simple they're going to get on and ride around and bother us and you Max or chicken s*** little babies but we need help and you need to wake up or just going to be dead he's going to help you out in a few seconds

Mac

So I'm up on the bridge and these assholes bread and wife don't know what they're doing and I said you don't know what you're doing but others do and they're trying to get someone else to do it cuz Max can't come in and do it like they used to and I can say is you're a couple pieces of s***. So they couldn't figure it out they figured out yesterday I said you didn't tell us I said I said it before you got really mad it's in the notes and stuff so he got really mad it's right around town saying he's got to go is it Brad I know it's going to talk to you over there now you got a big mouth and by the way when that empties out and all those skeletons are exposed probably half of you cuz you're such a f****** a****** okay a****** that's by the Max and go f****** sucking egg. F****** egg f****** egg and suck it so he was running off he's going he's telling us he's telling us no he's telling on them and he couldn't keep it straight he gets home and says they're throwing us off the bridge he goes that's what it is shut your mouth is what the max are saying and the idiot was like walking around so he he ran home and it's like a mile his exhausted lays down falls asleep wakes up calls people and says they're throwing us off the bridge there's all these skeletons in there he said about half of them are us half of 2 million right here said what if you're not you you said this he started laughing and said these people come in try and help us and some replaces and they died too also they're going what are you talking about he goes it's the mark they go and mock okay you go down to go feed first and you get stuck and you don't go anywhere else I'll send you looking at the bridge and they're scanning they drop some scanners down not real high tech but they they work they're pretty big like one foot by one foot and they pull it off and they get the data and shows a bunch of skeletons and identified them and about half of them are Brad's how does he know that somebody told me in space but really I get other people telling me and he says oh we're in a lot of trouble and I've been kind of screaming it differently and he goes like this he's telling us to shut the f****** and he looks at him and he says we have to get out of here you have to get out of there you have to take the data and dump it and destroy the evidence and it was all he goes oh and they're going off the bridge and the cops are there and it's saying what are you doing you say we're looking for hidden treasure that says can I see that says sure can he said doesn't look like treasure said no he found that there instead of treasure and all over the place and it said you boys are in trouble I said what are we in trouble for she leaving the fish and fishing it says legal to hang on a device down so don't see anything that says that it says you don't it says no it's not illegal now it's not illegal but you guys are doing is illegal and the cop says what are you trying to do bust me or something like that this is not really we're hoping you might be able to help us out figure out who's doing that and he was just watch the bridge and see who's throwing people over and the cop left so it wasn't one of them and someone's filing charges. So the line is after the cop goes away and like several hours later or days when he's in court is you told us to do something and he goes oh yeah watch the bridge and see who's doing it so they're watching the bridge now and they don't see anybody doing it but they know what you mean and they have a bunch of tapes and they see the cop so now it's on

Hera

[dzpenumbra]

1/1/23

Happy New Year!

I rang in the New Year playing a new game by myself in the dark in my new apartment with my headphones on. After another conflict with my mom over not knowing how to support me. Yay. It's been a tough day, but it could've been worse.

I got my groceries delivered. I'm still shaken up from that stupid phone call the other day and this PTSD shit just doesn't make any goddamn sense, but it sure as fuck is convincing. Like... make sense of this. My former abuser calls me out of the blue to try to get something from me again (holy shit, what a big surprise!), and then I spend the next 4-5 days avoiding all human contact when I'm over 100 miles away from her. Like... I get it, it's a primal survival instinct and it's going "there are lots of people like her" and just "playing it safe" but I mean... I had furniture I was supposed to shop for. I have a yoga studio across the river I was gonna go check out. I have groceries I need to get! And this protective instinct in my head just goes "nope, we're in lockdown". Yep, remember that? Quarantine? Lockdown? Yeah, I was no stranger to that when we were all ordered to do that. I had been doing that for like... over a decade. I was genuinely confused when people were upset about it, it was so normalized for me.

But yeah, my therapist/social worker dude has been really helping me a ton by "giving me permission" - I should say "helping me give myself permission" - to recover from emotional wounds like this. And to stop being so hard on myself about it, because just beating yourself up because your sprained ankle isn't healed yet isn't gonna make it heal faster. And with emotional shit, it actually makes it take longer. You provoke it.

So I said fuck it and got Instacart to get my groceries, and I actually got a bit excited about meal planning, I've just been super frantic and scattered the past few days, so I was just... praying that I had everything I needed in my order. That's where it got complicated. Because once the person started shopping, I started to get a flood of notifications about "replace" this and "refund" that. And legit like half of the things I ordered were just not included. Like, I put in replacements, then she would like... just not get a replacement and rush to the check out. Like, I get it's New Years Eve at like 5PM, but like... you chose to do an Instacart delivery. And you're rushing it? Maybe I'm being a control freak, but like... if I was doing that job, and I've considered it quite a few times, I would 100% make sure that person was cool with what I was bringing to their doorstep. And this chick was like fucking going for the any% speedrun over here. I was tempted to give her a bad review, but... I forgot. XD

I was mostly upset that I likely would've had a better outcome if I had just gone myself. But I had another night of shitty sleep and started the day with my cat puking up a hairball, which sounds exactly like vomiting, and she's old and has kidney disease, so like... I just feel like if I hear those noises I should be getting up to check on her, you know? So I've been in rough shape energy-wise all day, and I really don't like driving like that, even just 2 miles. Anything that impairs my driving at all is just like... I'm not cool with. Because... well, I don't know specifically, honestly, I mean a good friend of mine's sister died in a car accident like literally 50 yards away from her house... and she just had like a glass of wine. Life is fragile, and cars are like 2 ton steel cages flying head-on towards each other at like 40 mph out there. I'd rather just make sure I'm at my best, if I can help it.

But yeah, I got food, that's a load off. I can cook tomorrow, which is dope. The fight with my mom was, again, not as much a fight as... a panic attack that I was the target of. And it's hard to talk about those because she hasn't really started working on them yet, but she has an appointment to soon, which is like... hard to believe with how much progress it is in my family. I am deeply proud. Still sucks to be the target of someone else's blind panic, as it seems I am pretty often. But I am glad she was receptive and was able to pull out of it. And to find some help to offer me too. There's a very distinct pattern that I picked up, because it was the same pattern that happened in fights with my ex, and with my brother. Any time I was super emotionally overwhelmed and already stressed, already past the line, already just... overwhelmed, is the best word for it. They come in and sense my emotions about the struggle I am having, and take it personally. They are convinced that they are being targeted. And I tell them immediately, no, I'm stressed about the situation. And they don't believe me and think I'm trying to trick them. It sucks. I don't want to talk about that right now, but I figured it was worth mentioning again. It creates such a huge snowball effect in my life, when all I need is support - community, family, loved ones, assistance, Sangha - and I actually go to them seeking support and open up about what I'm struggling with (which is supposed to be the hard part), and my act of seeking support and talking about my problems creates another problem and prevents me from getting help with any of it! It was so surreal when it first started happening that I was legit suspicious of whether I had died at some point and didn't know it, like a lost-soul ghost or something, and this was my like... Greek myth Tartarus punishment or something. I have straight-up had several panic attacks where I seriously questioned that, because of how little sense the way people were treating me was making to me. I just couldn't really process that real people would do that, it was so alien to me.

Anyway. I made buffalo mac and cheese. I watched MOONMOON's stream for a bit, it was funny as shit. Then I got a new game - Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey. Here's my brief review after 3 hours.

I recorded my playthrough so far. I have it on the hardest difficulty, which means no tutorial, no HUD. Which is exactly what I wanted. And this posed problems right off the bat. Let me tell you why.

The game is very simple mechanically, at least as far as the control scheme goes, but there is zero indication of any button you should be pressing at any point. I was somewhat anticipating this, but I do have to say... if I was playing on keyboard and mouse, I would've been livid. That's a lot of fucking keys to trial-and-error. And, to make it worse... it took me about 2 hours to find out that pressing buttons and holding buttons are different functions. Like holding buttons trigger more focused actions? I guess? It's hard to describe, you know, because I opted to learn myself and I can just tell you that if you press A, you lie down. If you hold A, you go to sleep, but if you let go of A, you wake up. So, it kinda makes sense... but this is the weird part...

How the fuck do you communicate to a player how their character does something super intuitive and super important. Like eating. I swear to God, I went through like... an embarrassing amount of time not knowing how to consume food in that game. Even after giving in and just glancing over the super basic control scheme in the options menu. Even after that, which the game did not present to me in the game mode I chose - but they did give me a 2 minute intro cinematic and a bunch of credits, which was... weird... It took me like an hour just to figure out how to get my dude to eat food. And that, though it was intended to be immersive, broke my immersion. Because eating and sleeping are like the most basic shit that every organism knows how to do. And I really felt like if you're starving, they should maybe... maybe... guide your hand a bit. Like... if you're starving because you can't find food, I get it. But if you're starving and you have berries in your hand and you're fumbling with different button combinations for 15 minutes, just throw them a bone. But I would only say that about stuff like basic bodily survival functions - you should figure out studying things, you should figure out communication, stuff like that. I'm all for that. But if you're gonna take the time to make me sit through a 2 minute intro movie, cut me some slack with the eating and the sleeping. Oh, and by the way, eating and sleeping? Same button. Labeled "Reflexes" in the controls. Figuring out how to play this game is like a fucking escape room. And I'm kinda enjoying it a lot. It was just the eating and sleeping part that frustrated me. Like, I had 2 dudes starve to death before I figured out how to put berries in my mouth, then the whole starving tribe started chowing down all at the same time. I get that primitive man was not as smart as us, but... I mean...

That aside, this is a cool game so far. Immersive, cool approach to UI and environmental interaction. I just... okay. I really really wish they hadn't done the intro video. I'm really harping on that but like, okay. It's an immersive survival game. Immersion means you are unraveling the world as you go, right? Like you're dumped in an area and you're fully immersed in the world, and you uncover it as you progress, as you discover. That's like... the whole point. These dudes just like... flex 3 or 4 of the major environmental threats rapid fire before you even get to control a damn character. Like... I got ambushed by a large cat, and it surprised me, sure. But like... I had seen it before. I immediately went "oh that's the bad guy from the video that they wanted me to go 'ooo ahhhh oh no, so scary, look at the teeth!'" It took most of the shock of the situation out of it. Like it was still a stressful situation and I had to figure out how to handle it, but I knew immediately what I was dealing with, which - I cannot fucking stress this enough - cheats the players out of a shocking, visceral experience. I know people nowadays just don't like that apparently(?), I guess? They like to watch a trailer that sums up the entire plot of a movie, so they can decide if they like the movie before they... watch the movie... or something. I don't think people even think about it anymore. They fucking spoil literally everything nowadays, it is nigh impossible to not get spoilers on shit unless you're at the hermit-level that I'm at. But for fuck's sake, imagine this (if you haven't seen the original Star Wars trilogy, skip the rest of the paragraph because I spoil a lot of it and please do yourself a favor and go watch it). It's 1980. You're a teenager who is a massive fan of Star Wars: A New Hope, and you hear that Lucas made a fucking sequel. And you know nothing about it, and you see it in the theaters with your friends. And the hero you've been rooting on, Luke? The reason why he went with Ben Kenobi in the first place was to avenge his father, right? Welp, turns out... the dude that he bombed a military installation to try to stick it to... to avenge his father's murder, and his mentor's murder... he gets to fight him. For the first time, face to face. And at the final moment... he reveals the twist. This emotionless, evil shell of a man didn't kill his father - he is his father. The one he's always wished he got to meet, and who he literally threw his old life away to avenge. That dude killed his mentor, both of their mentor, and was... let's just say... not such a nice person. Dude, if that shit wasn't spoiled for you?! Like the Sixth Sense, good lord, I didn't have the Sixth Sense spoiled for me!!!! And if you didn't, go and fucking watch it right now and please for the love of god do not read anything about it, just go watch it.

You need to save the monster for the last possible moment. The anticipation and the surprise are elements that no amount of creature design or story-writing or flashy graphics can compensate for. No matter what. No matter how creepy a Slenderman you can design, nothing is scarier than the anticipation. So, I'm very upset that they kinda spoiled at least 3, maybe 4 of the major threats in the game before I even got to move my dude around. And I really hope there are going to be more than that, otherwise I will actually be very upset.

Okay, that's all the venting I have for now. Overall, not a bad day, just a bit rough on the social side. I hope to head out into the world a bit more soon, I really need to make some new friends.