#( i will watch and rewatch this so many times like I can't even tell you~

[creature-once-removed]

.

[xxyumeno]

I was going to be productive today with working on the new blog some more but... ... ... I saw that the Uta no Prince-sama Maji Love STARISH Tours now on HiDIVE. Bless~ I love this series so damn much, even though I don’t talk about it much~

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.2

Prettyyyyy

Maybe John's not actually crazy for thinking Hey Jude is to him? “For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder.” fool is, in my tin hat world, often a code name for Paul in their songs. And that description is certainly him to a t actually. I wonder why I've never considered it before. 

John: are you happy here, honey? Paul: I ain't happy here my honey, can you take me back? How many songs does Paul write from 1968 on about trying to go back? One day I'm going to make a list and it'll be a long one. 

And thus begins the phase of they just can't help it, can they? But they really wish they could. They make each other so so happy, but they really wish they didn't. It would hurt less that way. 

I love the comparison of Linda's pictures of everyone else and then of John. It just shows that it's not a her problem – that's such a lovely one of George, who Hates Yoko – it's how he feels about her.

John, coming up with every possible weapon to provoke Paul, finally has Yoko sing Paul's part in one of their songs. It really is such a slap in the face. But of course breaking the sanctity of their music is what does it best. And still, all he gets out of him is a look before he walks away. Whatever it is that John wants, I think Paul literally can not give it to him. 

Btw the white album is my favorite, probably. There's just such incredible diversity on it. It's so much fun, you never get tired of it, and it's an excellent display of their genius and versatility. 

He looks like an abandoned puppy. 

What do we think? John says Paul drummed on WDWDITR. Paul says Ringo did. Who is telling the truth?

“It was getting to be where he wanted to do it like that but he couldn't make the break . . .” So John thinks Paul doing his songs by himself means he wants to break the group up? I personally read it as him not wanting to annoy everyone with his bossiness, but that's just my take. 

John talking about how it's him and Yoko now, but before, it was . . .

George needs to send them a cease and desist notice or he'll sue them for breech of character the amount of times they drag him into things he's not a part of. Especially if they're not going to even fucking spare him a glance in reality. Please and thank you, Hare Krishna. 

Paul's epigraph on the two virgins cover. “Battles to prove he was a saint”? What kind of passive aggressive shit is that, Paul?

The eternal question: what happened in India? And does John really not know? Or is he just unwilling to tell what happened to rolling stone?

Somebody please engage with that poor little boy, preferably, you know, his father. Ugh, Cynthia must've had so much anxiety watching that footage, or really any time Julian was with John. And that footage is placed in the doc right after a pic of Paul already being Heather's dad just so naturally. 

But hell, if I've ever seen attention-seeking behavior, this is it. Singing about wanting to die while seductively undressing the closest thing Paul would've had to career competition at the time. 

I'm sorry but it will forever be hilarious to me that when John's singing his part of “I've Got a Feeling” with Yoko it's “soft dream” and then with Paul it's “wet dream”. How John and Yoko tricked everyone into believing they were too horny for each other to control themselves is beyond my imagination. 

On the day John plays their sex tape, “Unusually, Yoko is not present.” LMAO girl same. John: I'm going to play our sex tape for the band tomorrow. Yoko: oh was that tomorrow? Damn, I forgot, I have a thing. 

“Well that's an interesting one.” What did John honestly expect, though? Like I know he wanted Paul to be like, “that's it! Enough is enough I'm taking you home and doing you right!” Or whatever. But what did he honestly, realistically expect?

Always saying the same things at the same time, always on the same page, same word. About everything, it seems, except their relationship. 

Paul: but you won't say anything about it. John: I said what I've been thinking. Paul: Are you still thinking that now? What are you thinking now? John: I'm still thinking about it. Infuriating. Whatever it is John's been thinking, he doesn't want to talk about it in front of cameras. Is it quitting the band? I think it's something more complicated than that but I've no idea what. 

“John, John, joooooohn!” X “Martha my Dear” crossover my beloved. The fact that literally Everyone reacts and tries to get her to stop except Paul is so extremely telling. Yoko: joooooohn! Ringo: He's busy! Yoko: joooooohn! John: Stop that! (And he looks and sounds genuinely pissed) Yoko: joooooohn! Paul: (plinking and pounding away, definitely not thinking thoughts about what he would do right now if he was a girl that will come out of his mouth fifteen years later)

Everyone's trying to figure out the problem with George vs JohnandYoko and Paul's saying “and like with Yoko, they’re real. They mean it.” Linda laughs. “I don't dig that.” You don't, Linda? What about them isn't real to her, I wonder. Does she think they don't really love each other? Or what?

Linda: *Makes fart noise* Go away! Paul: continues to defend them. Neil: everybody cough. See and this is why it sucks that get back was so edited. Because it's important that Paul's defending them here not just going on and on where nobody asked. He knows he's hurt John, and he feels bad enough about it to let him have his mommy with him at all times if that's what he needs.

If what??? Someone needs to force them to finish their damn sentences. Because I feel like he cuts himself off here when (I swear!!) he's about to say what it is that's hurting John so badly.

Anyway, here's where (imo) he's kinda wrong. Where he says "if it came to a push between Yoko and the band, it's Yoko." I think I said it in my get back posts, but I'll say it again. Yeah, if it was Yoko or the band, it's Yoko. But if it's Yoko or Paul filling all the gaps Yoko is currently filling? It's Paul. You know? And I think that's what John wants so badly at this time, actually. Is “a push between Yoko and [Paul]” ending with Paul stepping up for him in some way that he wasn't before, you know?

He really does get it though. John wanting to be as close as possible with Yoko so he doesn't lose her and their connection. Don't forget he does put Linda in his band. He gets it because it was the same with him and John. 

I really do think it's a huge myth that they just never talked about feelings or anything serious. Look at them. This is how they talk in a crowded place with their girlfriends sitting right there. They didn't just get through fifteen years of one of the greatest collaborations in history never actually talking. They talked about deep stuff. And frequently. 

[dinogoofymutated]

SFW!Colossus/Fem!Reader

I've been infected with another fictional man the way in which I pumped this out was ridiculous. I happened to re watch the scene in the movies where the government breaks into the mansion and seeing Piotr act like a big brother/dad to all the kids really got to me. That and the Deadpool movies (even though I thinks he's a little stuffy in those.) I even rewatched the episode he had in the animated series so that I knew I would get his character right and DAMN ugh god I juts have a thing for big men with soft hearts. especially the ones who are family oriented.

ALSO HOLY SHIT TY FOR 600 FOLLOWERS???? when did yall get here???? I swear I was at like 48 two weeks ago lmao time flies when you're thirsty for the X men I guess!! TWs: None? No pronouns mentioned but I went ahead and labeled it as fem because it's basically about kids forcefully adopting you as their mom. Kids having night terrors mentioned.

Can you imagine sort of just being adopted by the students at the mansion as mutant mom?? At that point you don't really get a choice. Like you start out being very patient with these kids and making sure to keep bandaids, burn cream, pain meds and all of that because one way or another something is gonna happen- and you want to be prepared.

And then you start making breakfast. I feel like normally they probably have a schedule for who has breakfast duty but if you wake up and can't go back to sleep and you take over no one really cares. More sleep for them!!

And then a few times turns into every morning. And you're setting out ketchup for one kids eggs and syrup for another ones hashbrowns- and making sure not to cook with nuts and make sure there's at least three different things on the table that are Kosher or gluten free. Keeping an eye on everyone as they come to get food and noting who did and did not make it to breakfast this morning so that you can make sure they eat later-

And one day you're waking up at 5am and getting ready for the day so you can go make breakfast like always, and you look in the mirror at some point and just realise, holy fuck, when did you become a parent?

It's such a regular thing for kids to call you mom at that point, a knowing how so many of them have come from rough backgrounds, it makes you really happy to know they find comfort in you and will come find you if they need comforting.

And then there's Piotr. Big, strong, Piotr. Piotr who wakes up before dawn and does chores around the mansion in the early morning air. You can take the man out of the farm, but you can't take the farm out of the man. He does the lawn care, chops wood, takes care of whatever animals that might need feeding, replaces the feed in the bird feeder.

Piotr who makes sure to stop by the kitchen to share a small cup of coffee with you before he does chores. Piotr who hangs Hummingbird feeders right outside the kitchen windows because you mentioned you missed the ones your grandmother used to hang. Just Piotr, being strong and masculine and an absolute sweetheart.

He reminds me of that one quote that heard somewhere about masculinity being about protecting femininity, not rejecting it??? That one!!!

Kids call him dad all the time, and even though yall aren't even together, you become the parents of the school. Scott and Jean?? Love them, but they don't have that same kind of parent energy.

It's such a regular thing for kids to find the two of you interacting one way or another. Someone woke up way too early and enters the kitchen to find yall during your coffee, and there's a sweet moment with yall telling them to go back to bed, or offering to make them a quick breakfast. Maybe if they're really young Piotr will offer to tuck them in. He might be really blunt when telling them there are no monsters, but will be a little more gentle when you set a hand on his arm and give him a bit of a look.

The kiddo asks for both of you to tuck them in and you obviously aren't going to refuse them. Which leads to everyone wanting both of you to tuck them in and soon enough you two are doing curfew checks instead of the professor.

It's becomes so regular for the students to treat you two as their parents, and no one actually believes it when they find out that no, you're not a couple. So, they do what kids do and try to get you two together.

First it starts with making sure you two are sat together during everything they can get away with. Then it moves on to things like mistletoe (out of season, Piotr mistook it as an accidental bloom made by one of the agrokinesis kids and took it down) and then more mischievous plans like telling one of you that the other needed help with one thing or another, knowing that either one of you would help out at the drop of a hat. Sureee, they were lying, but you two didn't know that. (most of the time)

The kids just want to see their parents happy and in love. There's nothing wrong with that, is there? It's not like You and Piotr hadn't been helplessly pining for the other the entire time anyway.

You sigh deeply once you finally sneak out of the dorm room, Piotr right behind you. The tall man takes extra care to shut the door very gently, making sure it clicks in place just as silently.

"I thought we were never going to get her to sleep." You whisper to him. One of the youngest girls attending the school had a rather difficult time with night terrors, and would struggle to fall asleep without being tucked in. When you and Piotr were doing curfew checks tonight, she was the only kiddo still awake, and she had practically begged both of you to stay with her untill she finally did fall asleep. It couldn't be just one of you, It had to be both. No matter how many rooms you both had to check tonight, you would never have left her shaken up in such a state. You just hadn't expected it to take an hour.

"Illyana had similar dreams as a little one. It takes time for children to overcome it." Piotr whispers back as you begin to walk down the hallway to check the rest of the rooms. Even when he whispers, his voice is strong and hard to keep quiet. You know there's truth to what he says, and yet you can't help but wish you could do something more to help her with her nightmares. You rub some warmth into your arms anxiously as you think about it, surprised when you feel the warm weight of Piotr's hand settle in between your shoulder blades.

"You're worrying again." He states, frowning slightly when you look up at him. You send him a resigned smile, before it quickly falls as you look away.

"I can't help it. I worry about all of them, her especially. They just... deserve so much more than their lot in life." You say. Piotr hums in response, his thumb brushing idly against your back.

"Their life like us, you mean? Mutants?" His question makes you wince.

"No. Yes? I don't know. I just... I just wish that we could give them more than... this." You say, waving your hands to motion about the mansion. "The school might very well be the only safe space they have their entire life. The world hasn't been kind to them, and I'm not sure it ever will be." Your words begin to quiet down as you finish the sentence, lowing to a whisper that only he can hear. You'd never, ever want any of these kids hear a word of what you're saying. Knowing that hope is really all they have at their age, and you of all people refuse to be the one to destroy that beautiful childlike optimism.

"That is what we are working for as the X-men, yes? To change that?" Piotr asks you point blank, his hand moving up towards the back of your neck in a soothing manner that still gives you goosebumps, feeling the comforting heat of his hand even stronger than before.

"Yeah, but..."

"Then we are doing all we can." He finishes, a smile on his face that's so determined and confident that it very nearly changes your mind completely. Nonetheless, it's a reassuring smile that makes your chest feel warm and fuzzy. You smile back at him finally, and you swear you see fondness in his eyes.

It doesn't take long before the two of you are finally at your door. You give Piotr a short and sweet goodnight as you begin to step inside, but he stops you before you go, gently catching hold of your arm. For the first time, you think you've seen him debate on his words. His mouth opens, but he doesn't speak at first, and you swear you see a blush rising to his cheeks as he does so.

"You'd make a good mother." He says eventually, and it makes you smile widely.

"You'd make a good dad." You tell him. There's silence between you as he brushes a stray lock of hair away from your face in a fond and caring manner, and you swear you could trick yourself into believing that you and Piotr were already in domestic bliss if this moment goes on for any longer. The tall man leans in, and you find your mind short circuiting as he presses a kiss to your forehead. The simple action somehow leaving you beyond flustered.

"Sleep well, Любовь моя. I will see you in the morning." Piotr tells you, before walking off at his regular stiff pace. You stand in your doorway for a minute, watching him leave with a bit of a confused smile on your face. Out of all the Russian nicknames he's called you in the past, you had never heard him say that one before. You wonder if you should pick up a book on the language as you close your door and finally crawl into bed, although part of you is content to leave it be. Colossus had always been blunt, and you're sure he'd tell you eventually. You fall asleep just as you always do, excited to see him when you wake up in the morning.

[plutofromafar]

let's go home

A/N: heyyy... it's been a while (two years) since i've written something. life just got busy, but i hope you're all doing well. anyway, i've been rewatching criminal minds and got inspired to write this. i hope you like it!

pairing: season 6 Emily Prentiss x fem!Y/N

warnings: angst, toxic relationship, control issues, trust issues, canon character death, grief, (but everything is okay in the end)

word count: 2517

Read on AO3

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

"Where have you been?"

You dropped your bag to the floor and shrugged off your jacket, hanging it up.

"Out. How was work?"

Emily ignored your question, crossing her arms as she leaned against the wall, watching you with curious eyes.

"Out with who?"

"No one, Em. Am I not allowed to leave this apartment?" You sighed.

"You never just leave without telling me where you're going or who you're with, don't give me an attitude."

You roll your eyes, heading to the bedroom. Emily stopped you.

"You're not going to bed without telling me where you've been."

"Why does it matter? You've been at work. I just wanted to get some fresh air," you threw your hands up in slight frustration. "You leave every morning, and I don't question you. Why can't I do the same?"

"Because I don't trust you!" Emily raised her voice. She blocked off your path, glaring at you.

You narrowed your eyes, steeling your composure to not show that her words had hurt you.

"Why not? I'm your girlfriend."

"And that means I should trust you just because we are dating? You've given me plenty of reasons not to trust you."

"Like what?"

Emily placed her hands on her hips, standing up straighter. "You've been secretive, you're too friendly with other women, you're always on your phone, you hide things from me."

Rage bubbled inside your chest. "Do you think you're a saint, Emily? You are no different from me. How many times have I tried to ask you about your day, just for you to shut down? How many times have I been tossed aside while you prioritize your work? How many hours have I spent waiting for you to come home, worrying that you were shot dead when you'd really just fallen asleep at your desk?"

Emily flinched, surprised by seeing you so angry, and how true your words were.

"Y/N, that's different. i'm just... busy all the time, or have classified information..."

You felt tears sting in your eyes.

"I can't do this anymore," you whisper.

Emily froze in place at your words, watching you grab a duffle bag from the hallway closet.

"What?"

You swiftly moved to the bedroom, feeling Emily follow behind you. You started packing a few essentials, deciding that you would come back later for more things.

"You know what."

"You're leaving?"

"I don't think you're ready to be in a serious relationship, Em. I saw the signs from the start, but I overlooked them because I liked you. But I can't put up with all the secrets, the lying, and the distrust anymore. I'm your girlfriend; I trust you more than I trust anyone in the whole world, and it hurts that you don't feel the same about me."

You wiped your tears.

Emily took a step forward, feeling a surge of panic.

"Sweetheart, listen, it's not like that... I..." she faltered, unable to think of anything that would fix this situation.

You waited for Emily to continue, but her silence was enough of an answer. You zipped up your bag and walked over to Emily, giving her a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I love you, Em. But I can't stay here."

Emily's face briefly softened at your kiss, but her heart dropped as your departure started becoming very real.

"I-" Emily's voice cracked. "Can I talk to you? Please?"

You stopped by the door, considering your next words very carefully.

"I've given you so many chances to talk to me. If all it takes is for me to leave, then it's probably too late."

A wave of hurt crashed over Emily, even though she knew there was a truth to your words.

"I promise I'm ready to talk now."

You made the grave mistake to turn back, and one look at her sad brown eyes was convincing enough. Wordlessly, the two of you walked to the couch and sat down.

Emily took your hand, breathing a sigh of relief when you didn't pull away.

"I know I haven't been the best girlfriend over the past couple months, okay? I-I admit, I've been keeping some things from you, but you have to understand..."

"Understand what?" You voice was soft, but your tone harsh.

"Understand why I was keeping them from you, I just..." Emily sighed. "I was scared. Scared to tell you certain things."

You looked into her eyes. "Is something happening at work? Or is it something in our relationship?"

There was a moment of hesitation before Emily spoke.

"I-it's work-related, yes... and it's the reason I've been so... on edge."

"Does it have something to do with Ian Doyle?" You pieced together.

Emily froze, the name she never wanted you to know of coming out of your mouth.

"Where did you hear that?"

You sensed the anxiousness in her voice, and you knew you were treading on dangerous waters.

"I came home early one night, and I overheard you talking on the phone to someone. You sounded stressed out, I figured it had something to do with work."

Emily nodded slowly.

"I... H-how much of that did you hear?"

You shook your head, "Not much. Just a few names and details. 'Interpol', 'undercover', 'Lauren Reynolds.'"

Just hearing those words alone made Emily anxious.

"I need you to keep what you heard a secret, okay? Don't tell anyone, not even the team. Can you promise me that?"

"Yes, of course."

A wave of silence washed over the two of you. Emily fiddled with her fingers, but never took her eyes off yours.

"Emily, I don't have to worry about losing you, do I?"

Emily managed a small smile, holding your gaze for the longest time.

"No, you don't have to worry about that. I'm not going to let anything keep me away from you, Y/N. I promise."

It was like the storm clouds had finally parted, revealing a glimpse of blue skies above. For the first time in your year-long relationship, Emily had finally opened up to you about something.

You slowly moved in for a hug, giving Emily the chance to opt out if she wanted to. But she leaned into your embrace, hugging you with such intensity, as if you'd vanish if she let go of you. Emily had never been so scared to lose someone before, and she knew that she could never risk losing you ever again.

You were the first to break the silence.

"This can't happen again, Em. I need you to be honest and trust me. I value your feelings, and I don't want to lose you."

Emily nodded as you voiced her thoughts exactly.

"I know. I promise... There's, uh... one other thing I need to tell you about."

"What is it?" You pull away to look at her.

"I need to go somewhere tomorrow to deal with an issue from my Interpol days. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone..."

Emily stood up, walking over to the window and knelt down. She flipped up a floorboard, taking out a padded envelope.

"If I'm not back within a week, I want you to open this."

You took the envelope.

"What are you planning to do, Em?" your voice shook.

"It's just a precaution," Emily lied in order to not worry you. "There's a risk that comes with every mission I go on. I just want you to keep this for the future."

When you didn't reply, Emily took your hands into hers.

"I'm going to be fine."

You nodded, touching your forehead to Emily's.

"Will you stay? Come to bed with me?"

Emily's soft and vulnerable words sent an ache to your heart.

"Yeah."

The two of you settled into bed. You laid on your side, face to face with Emily. She leaned in to plant a kiss on your forehead, wrapping her arms protectively around you.

"I love you, Y/N.”

"I love you, too."

Long after you dozed off, Emily remained awake. She wanted to remember how your body molded perfectly against hers, the smell of your shampoo and how your hair tickled her nose, and how her heart beat differently when she was around you. She worried about how you would hold up if something happened to her. She tried to stay as still as possible to not disturb your sleep. After what felt like hours, she let sleep overcome her as well.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

The next day, you woke up to an empty bed. Emily had already left as she usually did, but this time it came with a heavy, lingering feeling. Of what, you weren't sure yet.

You sat up in bed and glanced at the alarm clock on Emily's bedside table, which told you that it was almost 12pm. You felt something on your forehead and you reached up to find it was a bright pink sticky note. You laughed, remembering how Emily used to leave notes stuck on your forehead if she woke up and left before you.

“Be home soon. I love you,” the note read in Emily’s cursive handwriting. You stuck it to the wall above your nightstand.

You had the day off from work, so you started your day of relaxation. A few hours later, a knock on the door jolted you out of your focus on a TV show you were binging. Your limbs protested as you stood up from the position you’ve been sitting in all day.

A familiar face stood behind the door.

“Andersen?”

Agent Andersen had a solemn expression on his face.

“Y/N, I regret to inform you that Agent Prentiss has been injured in the field. I’ve been sent by Agent Hotchner to bring you to the hospital.”

The world went silent as his words sunk in. This wasn’t the first time during your relationship that Emily had gotten injured, but it wasn’t the kind of thing that got easier every time.

The journey to the hospital was a blur. Before you knew it, you were in the waiting room. A heavy silence occupied the room as you and the team waited for an update.

Finally, the doors opened and you stood up, almost falling over until Rossi took your arm. With one look at JJ’s face, you knew your worst fears had come true.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

It’s been seven months since Emily died. Seven months since you attended her funeral. Seven months since you quit your job, packed your bags, and left town without telling anyone.

You’ve been living in a permanent state of anxiety and grief ever since Emily’s passing. You could barely register anything happening around you, not with the words “she never made it off the table” echoing in your mind constantly. You currently resided in New York with your friend, who was in their first year of residency and basically lived at the hospital, so you had the apartment to yourself a majority of the time.

You became vaguely aware of your phone ringing as you pulled yourself out of your daze. You were surprised and confused when the caller ID read Hotch’s name. The first month after your very sudden departure, your phone was bombarded with calls from each member of the BAU. As time passed and their calls kept going unanswered, they ceased their contact. Occasionally, you would get a few voicemails from Penelope who would update you on things happening in her life and to tell you that she missed you.

“Hi.”

“Y/N,” Hotch’s voice lifted in surprise. “I wasn’t sure if you would answer.”

You sighed.

“Well, here I am.”

“I’m…” Hotch trailed off for a second. “I’m calling because I need you to come back to Quantico.”

“Not interested.”

“I wouldn’t be asking if this wasn’t important, Y/N,” Hotch spoke quickly before you could hang up.

You thought about it for a moment.

“I’ve already sent the jet your way. JJ will meet you at the airport.”

You chuckle.

“I haven’t agreed yet.”

“I think you’ll want to be back here. Just trust me.”

The thought of reuniting with JJ and the rest of the team was tempting. You hadn’t realized how much you missed them all these months.

“Okay.”

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

JJ met up with you at the airport runway, pulling you into a tight embrace that you reciprocated. The two of you caught up with each other as the jet got ready for takeoff.

JJ sat up straight, her face becoming serious but still warm.

“Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you before we land.”

You held her gaze, sensing a hint of anxiety in her voice.

“What is it?”

Just like seven months ago in that waiting room, the world stopped spinning when you heard JJ’s words. You sat like a statue as she recounted the events, from Emily’s transfer to Paris to the team taking down Doyle at last.

When you were unresponsive for too long, JJ gently touched your hand.

“Emily is alive?” you ask for confirmation, not believing what you heard.

“Yes.”

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Your steps from the runway into the office were quick and frantic, even JJ had to try to keep up with you. Through the glass doors of the office, you made eye contact with Hotch.

“Emily’s alive? Where is she? Is she here?”

Hotch didn’t answer your rapid-fire questions, but he swiftly led you into his office. Your heart was beating out of your chest and you could hear each pump of blood.

The figure in the room turned around and you gasped when your eyes met brown ones that you thought you would never see again. The Emily that stood before you had small changes in her appearance, but she was still your beloved Emily.

Emily approached you slowly, as one might approach a scared puppy.

“Y/N.”

You let out a sob, diving forward and pulling Emily into your embrace. She held you, tenderly stroking your hair as you cried into her neck. Tears sprang into Emily’s eyes as she felt her heart begin to mend having you in her arms.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…” Emily repeated softly. “I had to keep us safe until Doyle was captured. I’m so sorry I had to leave you, and that I had to lie to you.”

You shook your head, pulling away slightly to see her face.

“You had no choice, I understand. I’m just glad you’re here. I thought I lost you for good.”

“You’ll never lose me again,” Emily wiped a tear from your cheek. “These past seven months have been hell without you. All I could think about was how rocky our relationship had been in the months before I left. I promise you that I won’t let us go back to that. It’s not going to be easy, and I have a lot of issues to work through, but I’m going to put in the work. I trust you wholeheartedly, Y/N.”

You smile at her words, feeling that things will be different this time around.

“That means a lot to me, Em.”

Emily tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, cradling your chin in her hand.

“Let’s go home, okay?”

“Let’s go home.”

[wellofdean]

Thinking about @luckshiptoshore and her liveblog of watching Supernatural and how much I love following it and how great it is to watch someone just fucking ENJOY the show...

And then, there were a couple of people in my Discord who love the fic, but have never watched the show, and folks in there were trying to convince them that it was worth watching (duh!) and that knowing the show by heart makes the fic so much better and like yes, again... DUH! And then I was suddenly overcome with such a feeling of ENVY for all the people who still have the chance to watch Supernatural for the first time already knowing what happens in the end.

I mean, I watched 14 years of it in real time (after downloading and bingeing season 1) and at least I was clever enough not to be in the fandom trenches that whole time, and just enjoyed it for what it was, but the end broke my brain, and changed the whole show for me.

Because, like, here's what happens in Supernatural by the end: Dean and Cas are in love. It was not subtle. Dean can't say it because he never has a single moment of not being up to his pretty, pretty eyeballs in dealing with the ongoing and constantly multiplying trauma of being the man his father raised him to be, and god's specialest boy to boot, but in the end, Cas finally does just fucking say it. Not only that, he waits until he can use it to save Dean, and show him once and for all in an incontrovertible, undeniable way exactly how deeply and truly loved and SEEN he is.

When you watch it knowing that, knowing that the the whole story is going to end in that stupid bunker dungeon with Cas telling Dean who he is and dying to save him, the whole thing just HITS DIFFERENT, because the Dean of season one with his outcast liminality and pretty, pretty lips is the poor, lonely, weird boy who will one day be loved like that by Castiel, an angel of the lord -- an impossible Eldritch being who learned what love and selfhood are from closely observing Dean.

The consensus amongst most Supernatural fans is that it is trashy and bad and that its all evil queerbaiting, but I would contend that it's actually deeply entertaining, culturally rich and interesting (yes, even its flaws and missteps), often impressively well-written and acted, never puts on any airs about being prestige television or high art, but still manages to be ultimately epic and somehow sublime, and that it's a queer story, about queer love saving the universe, and it is so, so worth watching.

Like, my brainworms are not 'they strung me along all that time and then never let them make out', by brainworms are 'they told us so many times and in so many big and small ways, and now I need to watch every bit of it again and again and again so I can finally REVEL IN IT (and, friends, that is the Supernatural rewatch journey: realising it was ALWAYS THERE). My brainworms aren't 'but does Dean reciprocate??' they are: 'of course he loves Cas, and of course Cas knows that Dean loves him, and the one thing Cas can't have? That's just his chance at happiness and a soft epilogue with and for Dean, because Cas, impossible, cosmic, Eldritch being Cas, traded his chance at happiness for his family's lives and sacrificed himself for love of his son and Dean, because that is what you do when you love someone, and what he has watched Dean never stop doing for even a minute of his beleaguered life.'

And then, Dean dies (yes, it's stupid), and he cannot just go to heaven, drink a beer and hang out, he needs to climb into his magic soul vehicle, hit the axis mundi and tear the universe up looking for his angel and his happy ending in The Winchesters? Fuck me.

And like, it's the most romantic, and devastating story I have ever been told? And I love it so much?

[fettuccin-e]

Forever Feels Good

A/N: So yeah. its more santi smut. I rewatched triple frontier recently and yknow how oscar and pedro look absolutely scrumpdiddlyumptious so i had to write some happy, domesticated santi because HE DESERVES SOMETHING GOOD

Description: Sometimes, Santi can't believe that he's actually yours, that you're his. And, as a good husband, he just wants to make his beautiful wife feel good. (w/c: 3.1K)

Tags: Santiago "Pope" Garcia x reader, afab!fem!reader, Santi really likes that she's his wife, pretty domestic, alcohol consumption, oral (r!recieving), unprotected piv (pls wrap it up irl fuck them kids), breeding kink like quite a bit of breeding kink i may have a problem

Santi sometimes forgets that he’s actually married to you. That it’s his ring on your finger, that he lives in a home that the both of you share. 

There’s a part of him, a big part, that looks at you and knows that you’re too beautiful to really be his. With your bright smile and glittering eyes, smoothing out his rough edges and giving something to live for again. It doesn’t feel real, even after years of being married, introducing you as his wife to all of his coworkers and friends, fixing up a house you bought together, living a perfect little white picket fence life that Santi had only thought was a fantasy while in Delta.

He watches you with rapt attention across the bar, grabbing your fruity drink from the bartender while you chat with Frankie at the pool table.

You’re laughing hard to a story that Frankie is telling, Santi’s beer clutched in one of your hands while you brace the other on Frankie’s shoulder. Your cheeks are flushed, your eyes are crinkling at the corners with your grin, and Santi can’t imagine anyone more perfect. 

As your laughter eventually dies down you gaze at Santi across the room, probably unaware that he was already staring, and the breath is nearly knocked out of his lungs as your eyes meet. Your wide smile melts into something softer, intimate even in a room full of people, and his already weak knees want to give out.

He forces himself to walk on shaky legs across the room, setting your drink on your table, fingers itching to touch your soft skin. He spins you around when he reaches you, pinning your back to his front and wrapping his strong arms around your waist while he tucks his face into the crook of your neck.

Your perfume is strongest there, the smell of you invading his senses and swimming through his desperate mind. He vaguely senses Frankie walking away to talk to Will, but he couldn't care less at the moment. Not when he has his wife in his arms, your hair tickling his nose and you giggle echoing in his ears.

Santi presses a kiss to your neck, unable to help himself. “Look so pretty tonight, princesa. Y’wanna let me take you home?” he murmurs quietly into your ear, hearing you suck in a soft breath.

“I don’t know how my husband would feel about that, handsome,” you giggle, and he tugs you just a little bit closer.

“C’mon, baby, I’m sure he won’t mind one bit,” he chuckles lowly. “Can’t let a pretty thing like you go without being taken care of like you deserve.”

“Hm,” you sigh, leaning back against his strong body, “you drive a hard bargain, don’t you?” You reach a hand back to wind your hand into his hair, tugging him up to meet your lips in a sticky kiss. “Promise to take care of me, baby? I’ve been told that I can be greedy. Gonna need you to make me cum as many times as I want.”

Santi feels lightheaded, his vision blurring at the edges. “Fuck, hermosa, anything. Anything you want, you’ll get it, promise I’ll-”

“Hey, lovebirds!” you hear Benny call from the pool table, stick clutched in his hand. He’s disarmingly loud even in a room full of people, your head snaps ahead from Santi’s lips, and you can feel the groan rumble in your husband’s chest at the loss. You smirk to yourself involuntarily, pride blooming in your chest at the fact that you’re the one that can bring Santiago Garcia, ex-military grump with a will of fucking steel, to his knees with a something as simple as a little kiss. 

“You guys gonna get a room or what? Think of the kids!” Benny continues, laughing. Frankie chuckles with him, Will smacks him on the back of the head.

“Turning a little green there, Miller!” you fire back, smiling all the while. “Been a while since you got any? Celibacy is not a good look on you, man.” Frankie laughs harder at that, and even Will chuckles, and it’s Benny’s turn to smack his brother on the back of his head.

You turn your head again to whisper up into Santi’s ear, “As much as I hate to admit it, he might be right.” You shift your hips back, just a little, pressing your ass tight against the bulge of his dick in those tight pants he always wears. Santi curses. 

“You wanna get out of here handsome?”

“Please,” Santi groans, and you laugh softly at his eagerness before you’re grabbing his hand and walking him to the door of the bar, nodding a goodbye at Frankie as you do.

He’s on you the moment you walk through the door of your shared home, pressing you hard against the door with a thick thigh between your legs, pressed tight against your hot cunt through the material of your panties under your skirt. He licks into your mouth like he’s starving for it, like he’ll never get to again, like it’s not the cold metal of his ring on your finger, pressed against his cheek as you cup his jaw.

“So, so fucking pretty for me hermosa, my god. Got everyone in that bar looking at you, but you’re mine, yeah? My wife, fuck-” Santi says into your mouth, choking on the last word, bucking up into you. 

“Bed, Santi, please,” you whine, head spinning with the taste, the smell, the feel of him under your fingertips. Six years of marriage, and you’re both still obsessed with each other the same way you were when you both first met. Clutching into each other like the other will disappear at any moment, like every second together has only been a wonderful dream. He grins into your mouth before taking your hand again, breaking into a jog through your little house and into your bedroom, the both of you giggling like teenagers.

You make him feel young, Santi thinks, laughing into your mouth as he lays you gently onto the mattress. Even with his creaky knees and graying hair, you manage to make him feel young. He presses himself against you, and you mewl, your hips moving in desperate little grinds against the bulge in his jeans. 

“Santi, please,” you choke, gasping softly as his zipper catches on your clit through your panties. You’re clenching around nothing, suddenly so unbearably empty that you could cry from it.

Santi shushes you gently, running his hands under your shirt, rucking it up over your chest. You raise your arms to help him along, and Santi wastes no time in divesting you of your shirt. He tosses it behind him carelessly before leaning down again to lick into your mouth, utterly addicted to the taste of you. 

There’s something about Santi that brings out this part of you, this desperate, needy part that you’d never felt before knowing him. He makes you feel ravenous, animalistic as he towers over you, kissing you like a man possessed.

You reach down to grab his shirt in a fist, shoving it up his stomach until he finally smiles against your mouth, breaking away from your kiss to yank his shirt off, tossing it in the same direction he threw yours. He moves down, trailing hot, sticky kisses and bites to your neck, your collarbone, right between the valley of your tits. 

His thick hands curl around your back, his calluses scratching along your soft skin, raising goosebumps in their wake as he unclasps your bra, dragging it down your arms and leaving you bared to him. It should feel vulnerable, exposed, but you hear Santi groan softly under his breath at the sight of you, and you feel anything but vulnerable. Fuck, you feel powerful, stunning under Santi’s burning gaze.

He sucks one of your nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue over it feverishly while his other hand, warm and rough, tweaks the other harshly. You can’t help how your back shoots up, how a choked moan escapes your throat. Your hands tangle in his hair, a terribly sexy mess of grey and black, holding him to your chest.

“Fuck, oh God, Santi, Santi, need you so bad baby, please. Please,” you mumble, your mind already hazy as Santi switches nipples, his eyes closed and lost in you. He brings his free hand down, down, under your skirt, and presses a thumb harshly over your clit through your panties. The friction of the cotton is harsh against your throbbing clit, but Santi rubs quick little circles into you, reveling in the whines that escape unbidden from the back of your throat.

“So fucking pretty, princesa. Mi amor, god, mi vida. You’re my fucking life, you know that? So gorgeous, angel, and all mine. Fuck, can’t believe you’re mine, baby.” Santi mumbles against your skin, finally releasing your nipple from his mouth. He continues peppering tiny kisses down your stomach, staring up at you as he does. His mouth doesn’t leave your skin even as he brings his hand up from your clothed cunt, tugging your skirt and panties down your legs. You can feel how soaked you’ve gotten, the way your thighs are slick with your arousal.

“Fuck, hermosa, what’s got you this wet, huh?” He grunts, his voice gravelly and rough.

“You, Santi, it’s all- it’s all you. Since the bar, baby, since before the bar. Fuck, always want you, Santiago, ‘m ready for you all the time.” You tilt your hips up with your words, your entrance throbbing and so desperate for his touch.

“God, bebita,” Santi groans. “Such a fucking slut, huh? You would’ve let me fuck you right in that bar, yeah? Just let me tug you into the bathroom and fuck you as hard as I want. Would've done it too, sweet girl, you get me so fucking hot. In these,” he presses a hot, open-mouthed kiss to your inner thigh, and you twitch as you feel him breathe a warm gust of air right over your desperate pussy. “In these fucking little skirts you like to wear, god. Got the sexiest girl in the fucking world, yeah? Everyone wants you, but I’m the one who gets to have you. I get to have you for the rest of our lives, mi amor.” He’s so close, so fucking close to wear you need him most. “I get to fuck this sweet pussy for the rest of our lives, baby,” Santi breathes.

You nearly scream as he licks a long stripe up your cunt, lapping up some of the mess you’ve already made of yourself. He sucks your clit into his mouth, sucking at it hard and unrelenting. The sensation of it is almost too much, and your thighs clench around his head quickly, before Santi brings a hand up to grab at your inner thigh. He pulls you apart, keeping you spread for him as he licks and sucks and plays with you until you’re already shaking. He keeps you spread with only one of those strong hands, pressing his tongue harshly against your sensitive little clit, and you suddenly feel the thick presence of his other hand, a calloused digit sinking slowly, so slowly into your cunt.

“Santi, Santi, oh fuck, Jesus fucking Christ baby, it’s so- shit, it’s so,” you can hardly get the words out, especially as he crooks his finger up and presses it against your g-spot without any trouble. Santi groans against your clit, sinking yet another finger inside you along the first.

You should be used to it by now, after so long together, but every single time Santi fucks you, it’s like he’ll never get to do it again. He throws himself, his mind, body, his fucking soul, into only making you feel good. It’s nearly sacrilegious, how he worships you, praying with his tongue at the altar of your body.

But it’s not enough, not when you know how it feels when he’s inside, not when you’ve been thinking about his thick cock stretching you out until you feel like you’re about to break. You tangle a hand back into his hair, tugging him harshly away from your pussy. He keeps his fingers inside, spreading you apart as he looms over you, meeting your lips in a sticky kiss. His lips are sticky with your arousal, but you can’t bring yourself to care, gasping, “Please, baby, Santi fuck me, ‘m so empty, need to be filled up, need you to stuff me full.” 

Santi grins, smug against you as he presses a third finger into your tight cunt, relishing in how your body jerks hard in response. “Just a little longer, baby,” he mutters, “Gotta make you cum first, right? Wanna feel this pretty pussy clench around my fingers, fuck baby, you’re so sexy. Want you to cum, princesa. Cum like you fucking deserve.”

You choke on a gasp as he hammers hard into you, overwhelmed tears filling your eyes as he abuses your g-spot with a practiced hand. You can feel your orgasm building inside, threatening to drown you in it’s severity, as Santi leans down again, whispering harshly, like it’s a threat, “Be a good little wife for me, baby, and cum. Now.”

And you can’t do anything but that, whining high as your pussy clenches and gushes all over Santi’s hand, your hips jerking wildly. Santi is murmuring little praises into your ear, but you can hardly hear him over the ringing in your head, the effort it takes to breathe properly again. 

“You okay, mi amor? Need to stop?” Santi whispers, petting his hands across your thighs, calming, but your eyes snap open all the same. 

“Santiago Garcia, if you leave me here without getting fucked, I’m filing for divorce.”

Your statement shocks a quick laugh out of your husband, but he leans down to kiss you all the same. “So greedy, mi amor,” he murmurs into your mouth, and you giggle as he stands quickly, shucking his pants and boxers off before kneeling between your spread legs again.

You gasp softly as he notches the head of his cock against the entrance of your abused cunt, winding your arms around his neck to tug him close. He presses in slowly, agonizingly slow, and you gasp against his mouth. 

You’ve had Santi for years, but taking his cock always feels like the first time, all over again. He groans so lowly it almost sounds like a growl, holding your hips up to meet him as he finally bottoms out inside you. So deep he feels like he’s in your fucking stomach.

“Shit, baby, you’re so fucking wet,” he groans over you, his eyes clenched shut. He draws his hips out and shoves back in quickly, and you can’t do anything but gasp wetly, nails digging into his shoulders as he breaks you open around his cock. “So tight for me, always so fucking perfect.”

“So big, Santi,” you slur dazedly. “Stretching me out so good, it’s so fucking deep, baby.”

“You like me deep, bebita? So deep I’m in your fucking guts? Gonna fill you up, princesa, shit. Get through that fucking birth control, yeah? Get you,” he fucks into you again, hard, “get you fucking pregnant, sweetheart.”

“Oh God,” you whine, mind swimming with the overwhelming mixture of Santi over you, surrounding you, inside you. Fucking you full of him, enough to render your IUD useless, get you pregnant no matter what. “Fuck, Santi, please.” He works himself in and out of you, his thick hands holding onto your hips hard enough to bruise.

“You want it, baby? Want me to fuck a baby into this little pussy? Shit, you’re sucking me in baby, so fucking desperate for it.” He shifts closer, just a little, lifting your hips further into the air to throw you hard onto his cock, and he can’t miss your sweet spot like this. His perfect cockhead just jams into your g-spot at an angle like this, and Santi knows it. “My needy little wife, you wanna cum on this cock? C’mon, do it. Wanna see it baby.”

Tears are finally escaping, leaking slowly from your eyes as Santi fucks into you like only he can, practiced, harsh, unrelenting. You can faintly hear yourself babbling, a mixture of praises, and pleases, and Santi’s name. 

Santi brings a hand from your thigh to press a thick thumb to your over-sensitive clit, and you want to fucking scream. “C’mon baby, show me how good I’m giving you this cock. Show me how good I fuck this pretty pussy.”

“Yes, yes, yes, it’s so good, it’s so fucking good, gonna cum, oh god, gonna give you a baby, Santi, oh god, oh my fucking god-” you gasp, unable to get a full breath into your lungs before you’re cumming again, nails digging hard enough into Santi’s back that there will be marks, marks that Santi will tease you about later when he looks in the mirror, but you can’t care. Not when it feels like your body is on a live wire, muscles and nerves strung taught and pulled apart.

“Just like that, sweet girl,” Santi groans above you, his hips stuttering into you. “Fuck, just like that, so fucking tight for me. Fuck, you’re mine,” he mutters, barely even speaking to you at this point. “Can’t believe you’re fucking mine, mine forever.” 

He’s lost in it, muttering to himself, and you tug him down, trying to ground him back to Earth against your lips as you whisper, “yours.”

Santi kisses you hard as he cums, emptying himself inside you. He wraps you in his strong arms, the both of you shaking softly against each other as you breathe through the aftershock of both your orgasms. He slips out of you at one point, and Santi takes the opportunity to roll you onto your sides. It’s quiet between the both of you for a few minutes as you brush a hand through Santi’s sweaty curls, and he brushes a thumb over your cheek, wiping any tears away.

“Love you so much, Santi,” you whisper after a while, and Santi smiles wide, wider than he ever had before he met you.

“I love you too, baby, more than I can describe.”

“Do you- do you think we could start trying? For a baby?” you whisper, tentative. There will be a bigger discussion tomorrow, about the future, especially if you throw children into the mix. But you need to know, for now.

“Mi amor, mi cielito,” Santi whispers, pecking you softly on the lips. “I would love nothing more.”

[visceravalentines]

this shot is one of my favorites in the whole movie and I'm so sorry but I'm gonna tell you why in so many words below the cut

now I could very well be mistaken, it's been a couple weeks since my last rewatch. but I'm pretty certain this is the only shot in the whole film that shows only Benson in the car. every other shot has Randy in frame too, sometimes in the background, sometimes even eclipsing Benson. but we never get the sense that Benson is alone in the car, because he's not.

he's not here either. but it sure looks like he is. sure feels like it, with the empty bench behind him and the vast nothing whipping by outside the car. sure feels like it because Benson's not in the car with Randy anymore. for the rest of the movie, from this point on, Benson is stuck in the memories of his trauma and slipping in and out of the present moment.

this is right after Benson tells Randy if he brings up Sheppard again, he'll kill him, and that's the only time I think Randy was ever in actual danger from Benson. credit to Randy: even after watching Benson beat a man to death with his bare hands and the butt of his gun, Randy's brave enough to ask who that man was. I think Randy realizes right then, based on Benson's response, that he doesn't know him like he thought he did after their afternoon of trauma bonding. I think it snaps him right back to the start of the day when Benson was unpredictable and volatile, except now, he really is. Benson's been giving him a play-by-play of his thought process all day, manic as it may be, but that's over now. Benson severs that connection without explanation. Randy's cut off and cut out of the shot.

so we get Benson, alone. alone in the car, alone with his thoughts. the camera angle tilts. the car seems heavier on the driver's side. the blood is drying on his knuckles. we're off-balance, we're teetering. we're clawing to stay level-headed and on track. the shot no longer frames the car. it frames the road, not the road before us, but the road looming behind us. the shot looks backwards. Benson's looking backwards.

we're still moving forward, though...right? we've gotta be. but there's an awful lot of emphasis on the physical past. on what we've left behind and bleeding back there. and haven't we been on this road before? weren't we just here? are we going in circles? are we going in circles? haven't we already crossed this bridge and buried this body and left it all in the dust? if we didn't before, we sure have now.

so then why are we running? what are we running from? what if we can't get away from it?

what if, all along, we've been driving straight for it instead? and what's behind us, in the past, in the parking lot, is catching up fast?

is he alive?

how is this going to end?

[aveline-amelia]

You know what I love about BBC Sherlock?

You only catch some things on your 2nd, or 5th or 10th rewatch.

Like with Mycroft and Sherlock.

You watch Mycroft be annoyed at Sherlock calling at Christmas, so you think he would rather be left alone and doesn't want to deal with anyone, including Sherlock.

But his initial expression is one of surprise. He doesn't want to believe that Sherlock could be calling for sentimental reasons because he cannot bear to be wrong.

He wants Sherlock to show him he cares, like he did back when they were children.

And notice his wording there. "Did they pass a new law?" Sherlock is not the one who cares about upholding the law, Mycroft is. He is setting the stage for Sherlock to banter, but Sherlock just tells him Irene Adler is dead and hangs up.

When Sherlock calls Mycroft (despite the fact he prefers to text) in TSO3 many speculate the reason he wants him at the wedding is to have someone for support.

Mycroft says they will spend more time together now that John is married. Just like old times. He knows Sherlock would hate that, yet Sherlock doesn't deny it. He could say he can spend extra time with Mrs Hudson, or Lestrade or Molly or Wiggins.

He could say he doesn't need him at all. But we know that's not quite true.

If Sherlock was being sincere here and said he needs someone on his side, by his side, someone to be there for him, so he feels less alone... Mycroft would most likely think he was being mocked. He wouldn't believe him. Why should he?

When Mycroft tells Sherlock his loss would break his heart, he isn't doing it because of the drugs.

The drugs are just an excuse to hide behind. A smokescreen. He can't even look at Sherlock while is he saying it because he knows what's coming. Mockery.

"What the hell am I supposed to say to that?"

Mycroft broke script. He said the quiet part, the subtextual part out loud. I do care about you and it would break my heart if you died.

Sherlock doesn't know what to say. You can even read his bewildered statement as a genuine question. Mycroft does, in a way. So he answers.

"Merry Christmas?"

"You hate Christmas."

"Perhaps there was something in the punch."

I know you are up to something.

On the tarmac, Sherlock didn't even want to say goodbye to his brother. But when Mycroft calls him in 4 minutes, Sherlock has no idea Moriarty might be back. He just thinks Mycroft couldn't go even five minutes without speaking to him again and checking up on him.

Sherlock didn't say goodbye to Mycroft because he knew that wouldn't be the last time he'd hear from him.

"I will always be there for you."

"Shouldn't you be out there getting me a pardon, like a proper big brother?"

"He was a rubbish big brother." Was, not is.

"You were great."

He didn't find Lady Bracknell convincing. He isn't talking about that.

"Dr Watson? Look after him, would you?"

"Mycroft. Make sure he's looked after. He's not as strong as he thinks he is."

Neither of them are.

[nyahchan]

Childe's Dear Roomate

Modern AU Childe x fem!faceless pornstar streamer reader 18+

TW:mentiones of toys, voyeurism (?) , modern au childe,daddy kink, squirting,

I think you can guess the rest of the tags

This is inspired by a fic I read but I can't find it anymore so idk who to give credits

:readmore: (this shi never works)

Every waking moment

Every hour at work

It all felt irritating

He could only grow restless till his working hours were up and he could leave

Childe's favourite activity of the day was going home, not to relax, not to eat, not to sleep, but to watch his favourite streamer, oh how cute she was! hiding her face with a mask, wearing a wig for extra caution, all while showing her beautiful and gorgeous body to the entire world for money, playing with herself for ___$ , Cumming on the stream for ___$, using various toys for ___$,Moaning a certain viewer's name for special donations and oh so much more! Childe could only feel aroused and angry everytime your stream started, you were showing your lovely body and doing such unholy things in front of so many perverts like himself just for money, he could easily give you the money you need! Just thinking about having you by his side, fucking you every waking moment, giving you the money that you oh so badly need to be doing such things on the internet was enough to make him cum all over his screen as he watched your stream on his computer.

Everything was perfect as usual except for one thing, he had a new roommate now, ugh so annoying, although he didn't need to have a roommate as he had a very high paying job, he oh so stupidly agreed to it one night a few days ago while he was rewatching a few of his favourite streamer's streams, agreeing in the heat of the moment as he was annoyed that someone was calling him asking if she could be his roommate for external and internal reasons for a few days, childe kept thinking about kicking his annoying roommate out but figured it's only for a few days so he didn't even bother looking at his new roommate's face, and with that in mind he kept watching his darling streamer when he realized something, her background was different today and she was telling her viewers how she was at a different place for some internal reasons and to not pay attention to it but childe kept thinking about it over and over again... It looks familiar... Too familiar... Childe kept looking at the background till it clicked in his head, he grinned evilly and immediately dashed to his new roommate's room and behold! His darling was right in front of him, completely naked, a dildo inside her sopping pussy, her face covered with a mask, wearing a wig, her eyes widened as childe barged in. He on the other hand,wasted no time in unbuckling his already loose pants, only in his underwear from the waist down now, wearing a mask himself and going near the screen where she was sitting, "hey guys, today you're gonna see your favorite streamer get fucked by an actual cock instead of this fake tiny little dildo" childe said as he yanked the dildo out with so much force, it caused you to whimper out loudly, still shocked from the turn of events "this will be her last stream so gonna make it a special one ya see" "don't even need to pay today, just watch and see how good I fuck my darling unlike you disgusting perverts, savour this moment in your heart" he says to the screen as he quickly takes his pants off, revealing his long and girthy member ", your eyes widen "w-wait, w-what do you mean my last steam?!" You say all confused "darling, ya think I'm gonna let these animals look at you any longer now that I've found out you're my roommate~ don't worry daddy's gonna pay for everything, no need to do such degenerate things for money anymore, daddy's gonna wife ya up"

and with that, he starts aligning himself against your dripping pussy, you can only whimper in protest, he starts slowly entering you until he bottoms out, hissing at you walls tightening around him "although you just had a dildo shoved in ya, it appears you're still too tight for daddy's cock, never had an actual girthy cock before did ya?" He says smugly as he starts violently thrusting in and out of you, you start moaning loudly, lost in the pleasure, no one has ever fucked you think good before, your eyes roll back in your head as your tongue falls out of your mouth as you stop caring about how your screen is filling up with hundreds of messages , either praising you or degrading you as they talk in detail how they're jerking off right now to you,as you're getting fucked into oblivion, childe on the otherhand could feel his blood rushing to his dick even more as he saw all the comments popping on the screen, a feeling of possessiveness fills him up as he starts thrusting faster and faster while growling to show the world who you belong to now, your walls start tightening around his cock as you feel the knot in your stomach about to snap, but something feels different, very different "i-i think I need to pee, I-i feel strange" you whimper out "then piss on my cock" he grunts as he feels your walls tightening even more, and as if on command, you squirt all over his chest, your back arching as your head falls back, childe's eyes widen at the scene in front of him and he starts smirking mischievously at this new revelation "my my, it looks like someone just squirted~" he chuckles,your eyes quickly widen but he gives you a reassuring smile to indicate this is not something to be ashamed of and thrusts into you sloppily a few more times to help you through your high before cumming inside your pussy himself, you whimper out at the feeling of being filled to the brim by his seed.

Childe quickly ends the stream and places you onto his lap to let you rest up as he coos praises into your ear "no more showing the world your gorgeous body m-kay?I'll give you as much money you need, let's be permanent roommates" he says as he slips the mask off of your face and his as well, then snags the wig off of your head for more air "you look stunning, you know that right? Looked so good when you squirted,it's a shame the mask covered your face, wanted to fully see that tongue sticking out,maybe next time" he says as he brushes some hair off of your face, you might have just found a new sugar daddy, except you're probably gonna be living with him.... And might just become a parent in the process..

[sanhwaism]

drunk!bf seonghwa headcanon

genre ⟡ established relationship, fluff, humor, a teensy bit suggestive if you squint your eyes

warnings ⟡ mentions of f .ᐟ reader, a bit of swearing, let me know if there is anything else!!

author's note ⟡ i was rewatching that one wanteez drunk ep. and i couldn't stop thinking of how endearing and funny seonghwa was in it how does he manage to make me fall in love with him over and over again help. it needs to be studied. HE needs to be studied okay ill shush ENJOY MY FIRST HC hehe

naturally, (and i mean when he's sober) i see him as someone that wouldn't mind PDA

he's keeping it pg13 though!! his typical gentle hand holding, hand kissing, his arm dropped over your shoulders, warm hugs and some soft kisses on your cheeks while he caresses them with his soft hands

MAYBE if he's feeling bolder than usual some light teasing

tickling your waist, leaning towards you and giving the corner of your lips a peck that makes you crave for an actual, real kiss while he just smirks

i don't want to mention the tongue, thank you very much.

i decide to remain sane! ^^ (help me please)

he just loves seeing you getting all flustered! and loves showering you with his love, that's it! he's innocent! trust him!

until he gets drunk

oh boy

i feel like the moment this man has had too many drinks, it's going to be SO HARD for him to fight those inner voices and impulsive thoughts once his eyes land on you

he wants to keep you in his arms the whole time, especially on his lap so he can hum as he nuzzles your hair with his nose, breathing in your perfume that drives him mad

his pretty hands subtly touching your waist, hips and thighs, which leaves you squirming in his lap as you try to shush him with the last remained part of rationality in you

you can't see him, but you can feel the proud smile in the way his lips curl against the hot skin of your neck

he's loving this. never enjoyed something more in his life actually

he's a pretty self controlled man, with a lot of patience and an usual calm aura surrounding him

but please. for the love of god. he's an aries man after all

and right now? very drunk with a hazy mind and very, very curious hands

you might find this time the perfect opportunity for you to tease him back

there might be a problem though

he.

doesn't.

shut up.

which isn't exactly what sober hwa would do! he's a listener more than anything; that, plus he adores your voice and you can always read the "please never shut up i love you and your voice and the way you speak and think oh my god i just love you" from his face expressions

but sober isn't in his vocabulary anymore

so technically speaking, you can't even open your mouth to say something because mr. "i'm just a bit tipsy– ohhh, since when do i have two beautiful girlfriends?" has something to say!

a lot to say.

from cutely humming some ballad you two have been listening to,

telling you about what he has been doing in animal crossing, showing you his island, what lego he is planning on buying next and how excited he is to be building some pieces with you,

asking you if you want to watch star wars and starting to tell you the lore for the fifth time and you just sit there in silence, watching him with a fond smile on your face and your chin resting in the palm of your hand,

him suddenly getting up and starting to show you some new dance moves the whole members have prepared for their comeback

you're doing great sweetie!!!!!!!!!!

let him cook!!!!!!!

he almost slips because he can't keep his balance

like six times.

but he blames the rug underneath his feet because he's CLEARLY noooooot drunk

sure love, whatever helps you sleep at night!

all of that to almost crying because he suddenly got way too emotional just from looking at you. you just mean the world to him

of course you're worried

even though you're fighting some cuteness aggression because his ears are a crimson shade of red and all you want is just to hug him very tightly.

when you come back with a glass full of water for him, he's almost half asleep

yet he still rambles to himself

all of the sudden he's showing off his poetry skills

we all know how good he is with his words and how beautifully and heart warmingly he talks about everything

like ugh ouch my heart just write a book i'm begging :(((

so i feel like when he's drunk and you're taking care of him, he looks at you with those drowsy, boba eyes of his and all of the sudden he's letting out all of the thoughts he normally keeps in his head when you're in his sight, but feels too shy to say them to you

"i was a lost star until you showed up... my moon... you're my moon. you know that, right? i feel like i shine the brightest when you're with me, aegiya." you let out a small chuckle, not being able to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat at his sudden tender confession. he looked extra kissable with his lazy smile and messy hair, cheeks slightly flushed. once he realizes what he's mumbling, he looks away from you. suddenly the wall is very nice to look at. "fuck, what has gotten into me– ah, sorry, i didn't mean to..."

did i mention that he swears when he's drunk?

haha... :D

eye twitches

(this isn't affecting me at all trust)

nOW HEAR ME OUT pleasepleaseplease okay, park seonghwa is a gentleman to you through and through, no matter if he's sober or drunk. when it comes to the rest of his members though, he lets out a few cusses if something doesn't go his way or he's frustrated or pissed, especially if there are no cameras around

i feel like he takes the "i'm the oldest" privilege VERY seriously

good for him, good for him!

but if it's you, all that escapes his mouth are honey covered words because he's totally infatuated with you and wants to treat you the way you deserve to be treated

when he's drunk though, he might accidentally let some swears slip through those pretty lips of his

not directed towards you ! of course not. just a few fuck's and shit's and damn's

but it turns you on

coughs RIGHT! where was i hahahahahdkfjcfuckhesdoingthingstome

he speaks in a cuter way for sure, sometimes almost baby voice or a gremlin kind of voice which makes you laugh

he just gets even sillier and laughs at himself A LOT and you can't help but find the scene before your eyes incredibly funny and endearing

if you show him a finger, be assured that he'll laugh his ass off like you said the best joke to ever exist

be prepared to see him copying everything you do and giggling at it because in that moment, you, my dear, can change your career path and become a comedian in seonghwa's eyes.

he's gonna ramble for like 10-15 whole minutes about what a funny girlfriend he has and how lovely and pretty and kind and absolutely stunning and caring and hot and

knowing the current situation is alcohol 1 - seonghwa 0, he can not control his voice or accent that much

conclusion? his deep, satoori accent will definitely come out and surprise you

that's when you start sweating and your heart starts beating like crazy like it's in fast & furious

how dare he.

"jagiya... ah, i kinda want to drink more, but i think i have drank enough already. did i? shit, i honestly don't remember."

seriously. how dare he.

you don't know if you want to punch him, kiss him, faint or bring him another glass of water.

you're going through a lot of emotions, that's for sure

but so does seonghwa.

all of the sudden he's approaching you, slow and a bit wobbly, but he manages to lock you in between his body and the wall behind you, getting closer and closer to your face

his body temperature is crazily hot, you would definitely get worried that he has a fever if you didn't know he's as drunk as a fiddler

his hot, soju infused breath hits your parted lips as he whispers to you and you feel your knees getting weak. so weak, that you wonder if seonghwa will be able to catch you on time if you fall

"damn, angel, have i... ever told you how fucking crazy you're driving me? hm?"

!?,:?/?-!!!!!;!?2/!

im sorry ria.exe has stopped working

your breath hitched and all you could do was whisper his name because you entered the panic mode

and oh why would you do such thing

now a very tipsy and lust driven seonghwa is staring at your lips as he savors the way your body practically melts in his arms

good luck!!!!!! or have fun!!!!!!! both work ;)

{💌ྀི} masterlist

[meatballsu]

I have rewatched TADC many times recently and I come up with many interesting theories about Ragatha (My favorite) and I think it is great to share them here.

Theory: Ragtha is kinda on Caine’s side, or at least she is the person who always “giving”.

This isn’t intend to propose that Caine and Ragatha are “bad” or something. I’m not sure if anyone is watching the GenV series (Spoilers alert!)

and I think Ragatha is sorta a role like Kate that supports the Caine.

One thing is that when Caine is stopped by Pomni questioning about how do they leave, Ragatha immediately takes the question with a little stuttering opening, like she helps Caine when the AI is malfunctioned.

Another thing is she apologized to Pomni when glitching, says Pomni had a bad day, it looks like Ragatha took the responsibility that she should take care of the newbies.

I also noticed a very interesting detail about Ragatha's motion design. I collected all the clips of she approaching while people remaining steady. You know it usually means this person is a sacrificer in relationships.

Even when she is not in a good mood about Pomni's “abandon” . Ragatha still approaches and stands by her side.

This gives me the feeling that Caine may have demanded or asked her for help to care the new "sucker".

Additionally, the Kaufmo part also striked me a little. (It may turns out to be simply the pilot needs and my overthinking. But consider I have to wait for months to expect a new episode so why not brain storm.)

So Ragatha is the person who promts to check Kaufmo:

Ragatha: Oh, wait, we should go check on Kaufmo. And I'm pretty sure he'd like to meet Pomni.

While Kinger refuses the idea and says:

I think Kaufmo's gone insane. Last time I spoke with him, he was rambling endlessly about some exit.

After they went to the carpet, Ragatha mentioned that:

Well, we usually do, when we first arrive, but after a while you start to realize that you really can't leave and constantly chasing an unattainable goal will start driving you a bit crazy. And eventually you get to asking what the point of anything is and you completely lose sight of who you are and why you're even alive and when you reach your breaking point something really terrible can happen.

When she saw the abstracted Kaufmo and she stuttered that the creature might be the “terrible thing” refered to what she said before.

At this time I think we can assume that:

Ragatha knows the pursuing exits could drive people to the breaking point.

Ragatha knows people who breaks will happen terrible things.

Ragatha knows by Kinger (who is unresponisive but still noticed somthing wrong) that Kaufmo is unstable recently.

Ragatha knows what “abstract” is, and someone( people who came earlier than her or Caine) kept warnig/brainwashing her that “ Don’t overthink about exist or terrible thing gonna happen”.

Why Ragatha wants to take Pomni to go check on Kaufmo even she knows he is in a unstable situation?

I think it can be explained that:

She wants to form a stonger colleague relationship with Pomni by taking her to meet the used-to-be-frindely Kaufmo (who liked to tell jokes). or—

She wants to warn Pomni by letting her see “the terrible thing” to stop her from thinking about exit.

By going through all this points, I feel that Ragatha is the most positive on the concept about “No exist”. It looks like she tries hard to prove that there is no way out.

This point is also supported by Caine. And Ragatha hints in a non-obvious way through the pilot that Caine treats them with good intention:

The official site introduces the series with:

So nevertheless, I think Ragatha is still a trapped victim, and the pilot seems to show that she grows a bit Stockholm syndrome and stands by Caine’s side to defend her sanity. That's why she is described as the sweetest optimist.

ps:

I find Jax's different attitude is intersting when Ragatha and Kinger mentioned their daily routine:

Jax didn't comment on Ragatha explaining their useless sleep routine.

[dovabunny]

GhostSoap AU Concept - I know those hands

Soap's favourite way to destress is watching Ghost's videos. He never talks, it's just gorgeous big strong hands that bakes, cooks, and dismantles weapons.

Watching those hands go from kneading dough to cleaning a sniper rifle is so hot in ways he can't explain.

He has notifs on for his videos, has rewatched them countless times, and has had many shameful fantasies of those strong hands on him.

His favorite moment is a faint but deep chuckle when he was chopping carrots and one part shot off into a window by the 'thunk!' sound of it. He has it saved as an audio file on his phone.

Soap comments on every video, often the first to! Giving detailed praise of what he liked and how he loves his videos, and how they make his day. Ghost never responds to comments though, Soap suspects he doesn't even check the comments.

Soap, or 'MacSoap69' even changed his profile pic to a cute one of him covered in paint laughing at Gaz taking the photo. A delusional fantasy that maybe it'll catch Ghost's attention.

Gaz knows of his crazy simp crush, says it's sad. Soap doesn't care, he has no interest in anyone but Ghost.

However, Soap can only shoot down and think up excuses to avoid so many blind dates till he gives in to Gaz trying to set him up with an 'actual person'.

He arrives at the fancy restaurant his (pretentious) rich 'date' chose at 8:25 for their 8:30 reservation. It's been a really long while since Soap actually dressed up nicely to go out and felt good about how he looked in the mirror.

Then the asshole stands him up. He gets a text an hour late that he's in a meeting he'll reschedule, without actually rescheduling or apologizing.

By now Soap has gotten many pitying looks as he kept telling the waiter he's waiting for someone, looking around expectantly. At the text his face falls and so does his mood.

Of course. Man probably came, took one look at Soap with his rough hands, mowhak, and stupid face and decided it's not worth it.

He wants to cry. He feels so stupid.

He asks for the bill for his two glasses of Scotch. By now the place is starting to empty. He took a table on a busy night just to waste everyone's time. He plans to give a big tip.

The waitress returns but says the chef asks if he could stay just a few minutes longer. Soap is baffled. He'd seen glimpses of the man in the open style modern kitchen, kinda hard to miss the gorgeous giant who looked both out of place and perfectly in his element. In fact he'd been keeping himself distracted by watching him work and move around the kitchen.

But what does the chef want him for? Fuck...is he going to get chewed out for hogging the table all night without ordering?? It scares him but he guesses he deserves it.

He says he'll wait.

15min later the chef comes over to his table, his apron and hat off, two plates are beautifully presented but proper big dishes unlike the 'fine dining' fancy plates he saw other guests get. Did he...make this just for him?

"Mind if I join you?"

But that's not what has Soap stunned silent. A little breathless.

The hands carefully placing the plates down like an offering...

...he knows those hands. Knows them better than his own.

"...Ghost?"

"Hello, MacSoap69."

[dropthedemiurge]

Love for Love's Sake | Things You Didn't Notice #9

(okay it's not an episode number this time i just still have many details to point out oops pls let me go)

I swear. I thought I'd stop mentioning small details because I already wrote like 10 posts on Tumblr translating and explaining all the cultural stuff regarding this show and the obsession is already becoming embarrassing, but I rewatched the last episodes again and I've got tiny. Little. Details. That I can't help but point people to once again. Because damn, the amount of thought put into this show!

(trigger warning: first part talks about suicide and depression, next ones are linguistic and cultural)

The Black Suit & The Sea

I would've asked Koreans I know about the significance of such symbolism but they are celebrating Seollal (New Year) today and I don't wanna ruin the festive mood asking about "how would people dress for suicide" x)

But after watching this scene, I recognized some strong parallels in Korean media depicting depression, suicide and one's decision to end their life. One of it is bridges and jumping (if you don't know what Bridge of Life is, ask me and I'll share, so this post wouldn't become too long) but another one is sea.

My interpretation - Koreans wear black suits to funerals, so if someone is headed to the sea in a black suit, it might mean this is the character's attempt to "have" their own funeral before finally ending their life. Why do I think this combination is somehow significant?

Because I remembered a music video one of K-pop artists I like (Kim Hanbin) made, after he experienced the downfall of career, extreme hate and rejection from the public, and severe depression. His whole album Waterfall tells Hanbin's personal story, dark thoughts and his battle to survive during the time when he was gone for 2 years, but in the music video for this album (illa illa) he is seen emerging from the sea in a black suit – metaphorically regaining his music and, most importantly, desire to live. Watch with lyrics!

If we think, this is how you depict suicidal thoughts/attempt in Korean media (of course, Love for Love's Sake was even more blunt in telling us the meaning), then Myungha wearing black suit wasn't just for the pretty or dramatic picture. More than that, we see him wearing the black suit for the whole last evening – especially when he goes to finally meet his mother.

Which tells us Myungha has already decided to disappear from this world, and was determined to do it on that day, and his mother rejecting him and pretending she doesn't know her son might not have been just the last straw... but it definitely could've been Myungha's last attempt to find anything in his life worth staying for, worth not going through with his plan.

Anyway, what a scary but beautiful symbolism.

Let's talk about something happier! More heartwarming!

Do you remember when we talked about the carefully placed movie posters in previous episodes? I payed more attention to the background this time when in Episode 8 Yeowoon ran to the cinema searching for Myungha in his world. And what an amazing discovery! When Myungha starts existing again and calls Yeowoon, the movie poster behind Yeowoon says "Guardian" (보호자).

And I already said in another post that Myungha in previous episodes admitted himself being Yeowoon's "guardian, protector" in the exact same word. But now this word is shown next to Yeowoon! As Yeowoon is the one who changed the main mission and has now declared himself Myungha's guardian and protector and will do his best to make him (his favourite pereson/bias/blorbo) happy. They have now both become guardians for each other. This. Goddamn. Show.

And I also want to shout out the VFX & Production team for this show – all the visual effects are very down to earth, gentle and not over the top but enhancing the series to the max. Like, maybe you wondered where on the screen does it say "Monday, August 14" and "Saturday, August 12"? Well, as expected, you see it on four monitor screens above the box office – the date, the ongoing movies (yep, still our favourite two fake movies) and available dates etc.

But when Yeowoon and Myungha agree to meet each other in the exact system time, they are facing each other without a barrier, and the screens are now counting down the time until the Game End. Instead of normally showing movies, like in the previous shot, it says "Time remaining: 3 hours, 23 minutes, 15 seconds". It was either done with VFX or practically, but still, the thought of incorporating system messages into the actual background is insane and I'm always happy to discover such details.

I don't know how many of you have motivational stairs at your schools, we definitely didn't have this but it's quite a popular thing in Korea. They put popular and uplifting sayings for students on each stair, sometimes they even quote motivational phrases from idols, like this:

And it's interesting that when system gets broken and Myungha is about to disappear, we see the deep cracks coming through the stairs, we see ruined school BUT at the same time the quotes in the show are so obviously in our focus. And they are already written (see screenshots above) in Korean and English, but I'll still write down: one is saying "Stay hungry, stay foolish" and "If you dream it, you can do it, you will succeed". So, perhaps... motivational quotes from sunbae?

And the last moment isn't heavy on translation but I still want to talk about it because cool Korean culture!xD You see the gang grilling meat on the roof (it's called samgyeopsal and it's very popular to have for gatherings), and then Myungha makes a "ssam" and feeds it to Yeowoon – but Sangwon steals it.

Ssam is a wrap, you grill meat then put it on the salad leaf, add other ingredients (like mushrooms, sauces, garlic, green onions etc, there are many side dishes) and then you wrap it in this sort of salad sack and eat it. It's very tasty and unusual combination. But the thing is! There is no way to make it for someone else and leave it on their plate so if you make a ssam wrap for someone and want to give it to a person, you literally have to feed them (like Myungha does with a very fond smile). This is why it's often seen as a romantic gesture (aka feeding someone from your fork etc) and why it's hilarious that Sangwon steals this ssam from Yeowoon (because he wants and he gets Myungha's affection and he's not above being a brat about it!)

I'm sure you can already sense it anyway without me telling you about romantic/close-friend implications, but I thought you guys might wonder why are the guys fighting over the salad leaf.

Another funny thing – Sangwon mentions "There's a saying, 'Don't scold dogs while they eat'". This is a Korean proverb "밥 먹을 때는 개도 안 때린다" ("You don't hit even a dog when it eats") which means that, no matter how annoying you find someone, no matter how angry you are, you can't scold this person while they are eating. Eating is a very important cultural thing in Asia, of course, so do not have arguments at the dinner :D But it's funny how Sangwon uses old proverbs to be mischievous and steal Myungha's love without consequences xD I adore him

I swear, this gotta be my last post about all the details in Love for Love's Sake. There is one more scene with the mirror and a caption, and I'm very curious if it means something because it was seen twice, during system breaking down scene as well, but it's either in Chinese or Japanese and I can't read it.

Anyway! Hope you enjoyed your everyday magazine, I love reading all your tags and thoughts and comments, and if you want to read all my previous translations and pointed out cultural details in Love for Love's Sake, go read this tag!=)

[fiona-fififi]

Of Coffee and Crushes

Rating: G

Fandom: 9-1-1

Pairing(s): Evan Buckley/Tommy Kinard, Pre-relationship Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz

Summary: Buck asks Tommy out for coffee, but he orders Eddie's usual. 7x05 extended scene.

Notes: Inspired by this random thought I had after rewatching the episode a dozen times yesterday.

911 spoilers, canon compliant to 7x05, Pre-relationship buddie, fluff, extended scene

—

Ao3 Link

—

They sit quietly for long moments after Tommy’s agreed to join Buck for the wedding, Buck's hand a pleasant weight on Tommy’s own, and their matching grins never wavering. It feels good, Tommy thinks, to just exist in the same space. He feels a little infatuated with the way Buck smiles so sweetly and lets himself be vulnerable—all the walls he'd built up before crumbling down to let in the bright joy Tommy’s realizing the kid radiates so much of the time.

It's a good feeling.

But nothing lasts forever, Tommy thinks, so he's not entirely surprised when Buck’s smile falters a bit and he pulls his hand back to busy himself sipping at his coffee. He has something to say. Tommy can see it in the way he can't seem to sit still, hands in constant movement and leg clearly bouncing beneath the table. Tommy waits him out.

“So, uh, I—” Buck takes a stuttering breath finally, trying to calm himself as his expression shifts into something that looks unsure again “—I told Eddie.”

That takes Tommy by surprise. He's not sure he'd expected the kid to open up that quickly after the debacle in the restaurant. “Did you?” he prompts, curious.

“Yeah, uh. Eddie's a really good guy,” Buck supplies, like Tommy doesn't know.

Tommy huffs a little laugh at that and nods along as he says, “yeah. Yeah, he is.”

He means it to be reassuring, but Buck bristles a bit at that—just a brief tensing of his shoulders that he shakes off as quickly as it comes. But Tommy catches it. Snaps his mouth closed to let Buck continue and makes a mental note that Eddie might still be a sensitive topic where Tommy’s concerned.

Once Buck gathers himself, he continues, again settled back into the soft, open demeanor he'd started with, and Tommy watches him curiously as he smiles and says, “yeah, he's the best. And I got in my head over it, because I can't lose him, you know? Eddie and Christopher are just. they—they're really important to me, you know?”

Tommy hums in agreement and nods. Doesn't dare interrupt again as Buck spills half of his heart into the space between them. 

“I just. Eddie's always been there for me. Even, uh, even when he had every reason to turn his back on me,” Buck confides. And Tommy’s not entirely sure what's opened the floodgates, but he's simultaneously grateful and increasingly suspicious that Buck might be subconsciously laying claim to Eddie and everything they have after Tommy’s misguided interruption. “I should have known that it would be okay, and I should have just been honest with him then and there, and I am so sorry that I made everything weird the other night.”

Ah, Tommy thinks, a little amused, another apology, then. The kid is sweet, even if he could use a little more confidence.

“Listen, Evan,” Tommy tries, all warmth to try to put him at ease, “I get it that you weren't ready to tell him. And, yeah, it was a lot to take in with exactly how you tried to lie around it, but you don't need to justify yourself to me or defend Eddie.”

Buck looks a little sheepish, then, picking at the lid of his coffee, the plastic making little popping noises every time he flicks it with a nervous finger. “Yeah?”

“Frankly,” Tommy starts, a hint of amusement in his tone, “I don't think there are many of us who would have come out to anyone in a crowded restaurant while on a first date. Seems like a lot.” 

Buck laughs genuinely at that, like it's finally hitting him that, yeah, maybe the run-in at the restaurant wouldn't have been the place to do it, and Tommy can't help the way warmth blooms in his chest at just how sweet and loving and a little bit silly the man before him is.

For a few moments, they're quiet, then. Buck ducking his head in embarrassment, even while that sweet smile stays firmly in place, and Tommy sipping at the terrible coffee Buck had bought him. There's no tension in the moment—the nervous energy Buck had brought to their first date out of fear of being found out now replaced with a different kind of nervous energy. One that feels an awful lot like a kid with a crush, and Tommy can't even judge him for it because he thinks he's feeling it, too.

“So,” Tommy finally finds his voice, changes the subject to something that feels a little lighter and safer because he likes the way his stomach is filled with butterflies and the way Buck's smile kind of takes his breath away, and they don't need any more heavy apologies. So he asks, all curiosity, “is this your usual order?” as he eyes the scrawl on the cardboard sleeve of his coffee cup. It looks decidedly different from what's on Buck's.

“Uh—no,” Buck admits a little flustered at the change in topic, “n-no, it's uh, it's Eddie's, actually.”

“hmm,” Tommy hums, pressing his lips together and letting an eyebrow quirk just a little as he examines the coffee sleeve a little closer, “not sure I would have pegged Eddie as a cream and sugar kind of guy.”

Buck stays quiet but nods with a fond smile, picking at the cardboard seam on his own cup. Tommy can't quite see the markings on Buck's own cup clearly enough to read them, but he's curious now.

“Why Eddie's?” Tommy asks, fond smile still in place because if nothing else the kid is adorable—just a bundle of excitement and nerves—and Tommy knows he should probably give him a break, but he kind of likes riling him up.

“Uh,” Buck blinks, tilts his head and scrunches his brow like he’s not sure. Then, after a moment, he shrugs, “I don't know. Felt weird to get you my regular order, you know? And you, uh, you and Eddie have a lot in common, right?”

“So you figured we'd have the same coffee order?” Tommy laughs, genuinely amused, and it makes Buck smile wide. The kid's got an excellent smile.

“O-kay, laugh it up,” Buck retorts, grin widening and brightening up those pretty blue eyes even further. Tommy thinks he might be a little smitten. “It was the first one that came to mind.”

“Mmm, okay,” Tommy presses his lips together around the toothy smile he suddenly realizes he's still wearing. Can't give himself away altogether on a second date. Knows, still, that Buck can see the glimmer of fond amusement in his eyes. “So, you do a lot of the coffee runs for the 118, then?”

“Wh—” Buck looks confused, shakes his head and blinks until suddenly it looks like the implication sinks in and he stutters his way through a nervous response. It's sweet. “Uh, no. No, uh, actually, I have a-a terrible memory for coffee orders. So, uh, I'm usually last pick.”

“But you know Eddie's.” Tommy can feel the way the corner of his mouth tips up in an amused smirk. Tries hard to play it off.

Buck blushes and ducks his head again like he’s been caught. Rubs at the back of his neck and tries to gather himself, even as the pink of cheeks spreads to his ears. Looks like he's trying to find a response that won't give him away.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do know Eddie's,” he finally settles on, lifting his eyes to meet Tommy’s. It feels a bit like a challenge. “But I'd like to know yours, too.”

Tommy nods. There's still a fond smirk tilting his lips, and he knows—he knows —he probably shouldn't be getting attached here. That there's something more to the best friendship Buck keeps claiming for himself and Eddie like he’s trying to convince himself of something. And Tommy’s not sure if Buck knows yet, if he's realized the challenge he's just issued.

And Tommy knows he won't win. Knows that whatever it is Buck and Eddie have is the lasting kind.

But hell, it never hurt to have a little fun.

—

[offonaherosjourney]

The immense rewatch value of Knives Out and Glass Onion

One thing I really love about Knives Out and Glass Onion (spoilers for both movies, btw) is their rewatch value. I love murder mysteries, but I don't think I've seen any more than twice or three times, and yet I've watched Glass Onion 4 times so far and Knives Out so many times I'm embarassed to even type the number. And lately I'd been thinking about what might be the reason why I keep coming back to these movies and about how I'm still enjoying them wholeheartedly despite knowing the dialogue of Knives Out almost to heart, and I think I've figured out why.

Watching a murder mystery for the first time is enjoyable because you're wrapped up in the mystery and in trying to guess the murderer. And then on your second watch you might know who the murderer is, but you still enjoy it because you get to pay attention to all the things you didn't notice or didn't know were clues the first time.

Rewatching Knives Out and Glass Onion is extremely enjoyable not only because you get to spot all the clues now, but also because of the seamless way Rian Johnson weaves humor into these films. After a couple viewings you might get tired of watching Wanetta Thrombey calling Marta "Ransom", or watching Miles place his glass on Dukes hand... but do you know what you don't get tired of? Marta's clumsy attempts to sabotage Blanc's investigation. Ransom telling his family to eat shit. Marta yeeting that piece of trellis only for the dog to bring it back. Or Blanc solving Miles' silly murder mystery in thirty seconds. The hot sauce scene. Blanc calling Miles a vainglorious buffoon.

And since the scripts are so brilliant and packed with little details, further rewatches of the films keep rewarding you with other little things you might not have picked up the first or second time. How, when the Thrombeys recount Harlan's birthday they all put themselves next to him, or when you realize that they don't know where Marta is from, or how they casually hand her their plates as if she's their maid. How telling are the masks each character wears and how they behave in the pier scene, the red solo cup Miles gives Peg, the painting that is hanged upside down, Helen in the end sitting with the exact same pose as the Mona Lisa.

Now, add to that all that the social critique in the films and their clear "fuck the rich" message, made manifest by a cast of unlikeable assholes that holy shit you lowkey wish all were responsible for the murder because you hate them and want to see all of them behind bars. Also, let's not forget about the world's greatest detective in this film universe, who happens to be unabashedly human. Benoit Blanc is an extremely likable character that captivates the audience's heart not because of his superior intellect and deduction skills, but because of his empathy. Because he makes sure that Marta understands she is a good nurse. Because he tells Helen to get the justice she deserves.

The result of all that stuff is that a movie whose greatest appeal might have been its whodunnit aspect on a first watch, on future ones presents a sort of good vs evil stakes. Because Marta is a good person and you like her and want her to learn she didn't murder Harlan and get the house and money she earned by being a good friend. Because Helen deserves justice and you like her and you can't wait to see her cathartic and righteous anger be the spark that lights the fire that burns down Miles Bron's empire built out of lies, theft and murder.

That's why I keep watching these movies over and over and why I'll never grow tired of watching them.