#(( yu really is just a self insert

[piece-of-your-world]

uh

ok so

hi. this is yu (aka the TA aka nrc's only magicless person) speaking. or typing. apparently twisted wonderland has tumblr like my world and i only just found out from cater sooo... here we are? and i decided to rope some unwilling friends into it while i'm at it

so. yeah. welcome to the villains' world. let's get used to each other, or something like that

[ SYSTEM MESSAGE: Inbox opened. ]

[pixelatedquarter]

sometimes people will just improvise "i'm reduced to the words you've used for me" live onstage with no context, no filter, and then one day you will want to apply it somewhere and, even if you've gotten to the point where you're alright with explaining "oh this line that fundamentally changed me as a person was taken from a smutty doctor who fanfic" how do you explain you took this one from a segment of a concert where the lyricist and the main composer who are also the bassist and lead singer/rhythm guitar have a little exchange between each other presumably initially to calm the nerves of the latter before he launches into a short solo intermission because the former while doing the stage design wanted him to have a moment, which is a fact that has been mentioned repeatedly and fondly by said composer. This format had been going on for around 60 concerts and the leg of the tour where it happened had been increasingly escalating in openly flirting with each other at an exponential rate, but really this goes back way further and you could trace it to a 22 years and ongoing intricate courtship ritual, from 2 guys* (you certainly do not have time to explain pete wentz's relationship to gender here) in a band that's been together for 20 years and is made out of soulmates and the power of friendship and love and you deeply wish you were putting on a bad yu gi oh impression but no they are really like that. To cosmic degrees sometimes. Perhaps it even counts as self insert fanfiction since the lyricist is fond of writing that shit live onstage. Maybe you can settle for "yeah. i took this from a fanfic. do not ask me the author or fandom.", that suddenly sounds so much simpler.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

You wanna know what I just realized....You know how in chapters 1-4 MC/Yu kept asking Crowley to go home. But Once Chapter 5-7 they stopped asking to go home and gave up. Why? Did they just change their minds once they got friends or did they just give up on trying completely until Orthro put it back in their brain? Or Did they just gave up on asking adults period?

Oooh, interesting topic 🤔 I went back in each book to see when instances of Yuu asking about going home were brought up and (shockingly) this actually happens very little, maybe a few times max in the main story (not counting the prologue):

***Main story spoilers (INCLUDING book 7) below the cut!!***

In 1-19, Yuu does NOT ask Crowley; Crowley is the one who brings the topic up. He claims he is in the library to research a way to send Yuu home, and definitely is not reading the latest edition to a new novel before anyone else (which, come on, we all know Crowley is just giving a convenient excuse for himself). Crowley's presence here is then used to inform us of a way to dethrone Riddle via duel.

In 2-4, Yuu DOES ask Crowley when summoned to his office. Crowly then says he is busy preparing for an inter-dorm Magift/Spelldrive tournament, so he hasn't made any progress for Yuu. In 2-14, Yuu also wonders about when they will be able to go home while talking around the campus at night, but does not discuss it further with others.

In 3-6, Yuu does NOT ask Crowley; again, Crowley is the one to bring up the topic when trying to get Yuu to convince Azul to stop his shady dealings. He uses their rising food bills and all that "effort" he's putting into researching as a means to guilt trip Yuu into agreeing.

In 4-2, Yuu DOES ask Crowley if he's actually researching. This occurs because Crowley is all decked out for vacationing in a tropical destination, so Yuu of course questions whether he's doing any real work. Crowley defends himself by saying "When in Rome, do as the Romans do!" and that he's broadening his knowledge base by researching in a southern region.

After book 4, there are no new explicit or even implied scenes of Yuu asking Crowley anything about home. However, 5-33 does feature a flashback to the prologue in which Crowley is struggling to find Yuu's home on a map.

There isn't really a strong mention of Yuu going home in book 6, unless you want to count Yuu talking to Mickey through the mirror and wondering what's on the other side.

7-10 and 7-11 has Ortho to concluding that the mirror with Mickey could be a "connection" to Yuu's original world, and can thus serve as a route home.

Most discussion of Yuu going home is concentrated in the prologue (as it is an important piece of the set-up and explanation for Yuu's presence in Twisted Wonderland), as well as book 7, when the issue becomes very relevant again. There is the occasional instance of Crowley using "oh, there might be information here about a potential way home" as an excuse to rope Yuu into an event's story (ie Glorious Masquerade), but nothing meaningful ever comes from it. These are just contrivances to bring Yuu and Grim along for a more immersive self-insert experience.

If you want a boring answer as to why Yuu asks/seems to care so little about going home and stops completely by the start of book 5, I would wager it's the metacontext. Even in books 1 through 4, Yuu going home is mentioned like maybe once and then is dismissed for the rest of the book. You’ll also notice that in these instances where Yuu going home is mentioned, they are almost immediately then used as a springboard to propel the problem of the week onto them to resolve. Yuu going home isn’t a plot point for most of the main story, it’s a plot device to force Yuu into an OB boy’s path.

There is very little urgency granted to finding a way home because you, the player, WANTS to be in this magical world even if Yuu, the actual in-game character, may be uneasy being away from their friends, family, and home world. Yuu's unease is most likely not depicted or not frequently brought up because it would interfere with the player's enjoyment of the escapism to another world. These desires very obviously clash with one another. However, because the game itself is trying to tell you its story, it has to provide a reason (no matter how nonsensical it is) for there to be no progress made in the search (thus keeping Yuu in Twisted Wonderland), and that reason often happens to be Crowley's incompetence. This is not true of all iterations of Yuu (as the light novel has a strong focus on Yuuya’s anxieties about being in a new world), but it must be this way specifically for in-game Yuu since they are the most easy one for players to project into.

If you're looking for a meatier answer, consider this: book 5 is the turning point in the main story. Before book 5, Yuu seems to defer to Crowley for finding a way home. They don't really wonder or investigate into this area on their own. By the start of VDC/SDC training, it's mid to late winter, or about halfway through the year. Given that Yuu is incentivized by the promise of renovations to let the NRC Tribe boys use Ramshackle as their base of operations, I get the impression that maybe Yuu thinks they'll be stuck in Twisted Wonderland for longer than initially anticipated. Rather than an "I give up", it feels like a "boy, this is taking a while so might as well upgrade the accommodations and make myself as comfy as possible while I wait it out" This thought is helped by the fact that book 5 is also the first time when both Yuu and Crowley don't mention them going home, but also nothing disparaging or hopeless is referenced. As I've said before, we still get a flashback from Yuu which is centered on them going home, so it's clearly still a topic on their mind. It's just not consistently shown to us so as to not interfere with players self-inserting or to avoid making the gaming experience not fun by focusing on Yuu's distress or worries.

Many other significant things happen in book 5 which makes it the "turning point": Malleus reveals his true identity to Yuu, Grim finally going a little feral from the blot stones, and Yuu seeing and speaking with Mickey clearly. From there, Yuu starts thinking about the mirror and how it could lead into another world. They begin to take more agency in their own return, later confiding in their friends about Mickey and what he means for them.

Book 6 mostly glosses over Yuu going home because... well, let's be honest, there's a lot more immediately at stake with six students being kidnapped and experimented on. Yuu's focus and concern is on getting them (and especially Grim) back safely. They weren't thinking about themselves or their own situation back then, they were thinking of others.

Going home returns in book 7 because it has story significance once again. Yuu going back to their own world adds to the growing dread and sense of loneliness that our OB boy for the evening, Malleus, feels over Lilia's departure. It helps to push him closer to the brink of snapping. What's more, this contributes to the overall themes and questions that book 7 poses: those of farewells, change, and leaving friends behind. These are sentiments that Ace, Deuce, and Grim discuss in 7-17, and they parallel Malleus's own anxious thoughts. In all previous books, Yuu's own quest to get home is not closely tied to the themes of a particular book, or it simply was not relevant to mention (it would disrupt the ongoing conflict or pacing).

Finally, to more address each of the specific things asked by the asker (since I know the information in this post is sort of all over the place and might be hard to match up to each question):

[Yuu] stopped asking to go home and gave up. Why?

Yuu did not frequently ask about going home to begin with. (Again, likely because on a metatextual level, the story needs an excuse for Yuu, ie the player, being present in Twisted Wonderland and experiencing its happenings.)

At that point, it comes down to individual interpretation as to why, but personally I believe Yuu realized that the solution was more complicated than just poofing up a portal home, so they decided to make themselves comfortable while they waited for updates rather than keep asking only to be constantly disappointed. Later on, events going on around Yuu become too hectic for them to focus on their own wants.

Did [Yuu] just change their mind once they got friends?

Wouldn’t this imply that Yuu didn’t consider Adeuce and Grim “real” friends until the start of book 5??? I just don’t think that’s true; they were friends way before this point, not hanging out with each other for convenience’s sake. Why would they sit together at lunch every day? Why would Yuu try to help Ace make amends with Riddle? And why would Ace defend Yuu when Riddle insults their upbringing? Why would Yuu try to free the idiots of their anemones at the risk of going homeless themselves? Why would Adeuce use public transportation to go all the way from the Queendom of Roses to Sage’s Island because of a SOS text from Yuu? The same logic goes for the Ramshackle Ghosts, who are very friendly with Yuu and Grim. They play games with them, tell them about the school, and even do Yuu’s chores for them while they’re held hostage in Scarabia.

I also think gaining friends isn’t necessarily a strong enough reason for Yuu to renounce their old life and suddenly be committed to staying. Yes, it can be said that this could change depending on individual interpretation of Yuu—but assuming a very basic backstory, a regular person would not be so quick to forgo their old friends, family, etc. I don’t think new friendships are a significant motivator for Yuu no longer asking about home.

Or did they just give up on trying completely until Orthro put it back in their brain?

Yuu didn’t stop thinking about going home just because they stopped asking about it. Post book 4, they are shown to have flashbacks to earlier discussions of going home. Yuu hardly ever expresses thoughts about their original world or wanting to go back (most likely to not break the self-insert immersion of their character), so it’s easy to perceive this as “Yuu gave up completely/Yuu forgot about it until book 7”.

Or did they just gave up on asking adults period?

I believe Crowley is the only adult Yuu really asks about finding a way back. I doubt Yuu actually thinks all adults are as useless in this endeavor as Crowley is, but we aren’t ever shown Yuu communicating in this manner to other adults. Crowley is the only “required” adult to interact with on account of being the headmaster typically forcing you into the plot anyway. In conclusion (I know I keep bringing this point up, but it’s because I truly believe in it), this is all probably done for convenience and/or to allow the player to fantasize and imagine themselves or their own Yuusonas navigating these circumstances. They don't want to constantly keep the story gloomy by having Yuu angst about how they miss home or how badly they want to go back. They want you, the player, to enjoy the world and the people of Twisted Wonderland and never want to leave, even if it may be contradictory to what Yuu themselves fails to express in the narrative. This is 100% intentional, and it's made clear because it ties in very deeply with the themes in book 7, which is when the idea of Yuu going home becomes extremely relevant again. Book 7 creates an analogy between a digital pet that Malleus owns and how sad he is that its lifespan has to end, that the digital pet is just "fiction designed to amuse". This is also true of what Twisted Wonderland (the game) is. The player is in the same circumstances as Malleus, who is too attached to his fiction and doesn't want to let it go.

As much as the game's structure encourages self-inserting, it cannot be denied that, ultimately, the perspective of the player ≠ the perspective of Yuu. The player does not actually have to worry about never returning home or being stuck in a foreign world, at the mercy of strangers (which, if not for entertainment purposes, would be something truly terrifying to deal with). The player is glimpsing into this other world for fun and can step away whenever they want. Yuu can't.

askhdvasoydvuealalf I know this was a lot, but I hope it made sense and properly communicated my thoughts ^^

[imhidingfromschool]

Arcade- (Highschool) Satoru Gojo

WC: 1.1k (?)

TW: none! fluff :p, not proof read sorry

"Aweeeee come on [Y/N], please give me one chance?" Gojo whined while giving you his self proclaimed ‘irresistible’ puppy eyes.

You were about to start a mission with your fellow first years, Nanami Kento, and Yu Haibara when the three of you were ambushed by your upperclassman, Suguru Geto, Shoko Ieiri, and of course the infamous Satoru Gojo.

"Will you get off the poor girls back already Satoru?" said Geto, trying to save your poor soul.

Chuckling you began, "You know Satoru you shouldn't be dragging your classmates around with you, I'm sure you guys could be doing something much more interesting with your time than harassing your lower-classman."

"HARASSING? What ever do you mean? I'm truly hurt by these allegations [Y/N]. Also 'Satoru'? I didn't know we were already on a first name basis [Y/N]." He says with a wink that you could barely make out.

Slightly annoyed you responded "You always call me by my given name so I thought I could do the same. Would you prefer me calling you Gojo?" To really try and pull on his heart strings you added a small pout.

After seeing your cute expression a small blush crept over his cheeks. Suddenly embarrassed he quickly responded "You can call me whatever you want! I don't mind!" 

"Hmm... well we'll be on our way then Satoru~"

The way his name rolled off your tongue stunned him. He was unable to move, he felt his heart swell rapidly. "Adorable" he thought to himself.

[Later that week]

The mission had been a success! You along with your fellow first years decided to take a well deserved break. You and Haibara decided on hanging out at a local arcade, dragging Nanami with you guys...(perhaps by force.)

Arriving at the arcade you all gawked at the wide variety of games available. You and Haibara decided to have a competition on who could obtain the most tickets. Despite being annoyed Nanami decided to go along with the immature antics of his two classmates.

Walking over to the first game that caught your eye something (or someone?) grabbed your wrist and yanked you into a photo booth. Your confusion quickly dissipated when you realized it was Gojo.

"Huh, Satoru? When did you get here? Did you follow us?" You asked surprised to see him.

Frustrated Gojo put his hand to your mouth, shushing you. "Tooooo manyyy questionssss" He replied with his usual sassy attitude.

You smiled softly at his sass. For a moment Gojo thought cupid had just shot right through his heart. Just your smile was enough to get him flustered.

"You could at least answer some of my questions Satoru." You say pulling his hand away from your mouth.

PANG

An arrow of love was shot through his heart, you were just to cute to handle. Your little "please" almost pushed him over the edge. "So cute" he thought to himself with a slight blush.

"Well I finished up my mission early and wanted to come see you, so I asked the manager where you had wandered off to." (Basically whoever held Ijichi's job back then) He stated confidently.

"Ohhhh, did you miss me that much?" You smiled cheekily, leaning in close to his face.

"Ah, [Y/N] don't tease me" Gojo said clutching his heart, faking a 'pained' expression.

Laughing you quickly responded "Help me win lots of tickets, then maybe I'll consider this a date."

Gojos eyes lit up and he almost pounced out of his seat before remembering where you two were. "Let's take a picture first though, for memories?" He asked sheepishly, you nodded and grabbed some coins out of your pocket to insert.

You two posed in different positions for each picture.

[1. Peace signs]

[2. Heart hands]

[3. You kissing his cheek]

[4. Gojo covering his blushing face with his hands and you just smiling at the camera]

After many hours of hard ticket earning you and Gojo far surpassed both Nanami and Haibara. Of course Haibara kept insisting that you didn't 'win' because you clearly 'cheated.' The two of you denied these allegations.

After collecting your prizes you decided that it was time to head home and knock out.

Of course Gojo insisted on walking you to the dorms while the other two first years were still trying to decide on prizes. (He more like begged to walk you home...)

On the walk home you two shared simple conversation and a few laughs. All of a sudden Gojo jumped up, grabbed your hand, and began sprinting. "Hey wait up, what's gotten into you??" You said, barely being able to keep up with his long legs.

Quickly he fell back onto the grass and yanked you down with him pointing at the sky. The millions of stars shown through the dark night sky. You looked up, hypnotized by the beauty. Until suddenly you began laughing.

"Huh?? Why're you laughing, have you lost your mind?" Gojo asked looking at you confused.

"No, no, it's just...ah never mind." You wave your hand in a dismissive way.

"Hey! Tell me." He insisted with an adorable pout.

"The sky, well more specifically the stars, they kinda look like your eyes." You said pointing at the sky, barely holding back a laugh.

The sentence wasn't much but it caught him off guard and he quickly sat up covering his face. "[Y/N] you say the most embarrassing things." You just smiled at his blushing face.

You stood up and offered him your hand, he of course took it happily. Staring at his eyes you slowly cupped his cheek. Gojo felt his heart begin to race, all he could do was hang onto your arms and let you continue with your actions, he was completely at your mercy. You both leaned in, slowly closing your eyes.

"Just kidding!" You said pulling back with a cheeky smile, removing your hands and stepping away.

Gojo gawked at you, completely shocked by your actions. "You're so cruel [Y/N]."

"It's gonna take more than that to win my heart Satoru, are you willing to go the extra mile?" You asked him sincerely.

"Anything for you [Y/N]." Gojo smiled softly.

"Okay then, I look forward to it! Let's go back to the dorms before they lock us out." You say smiling cheekily and skipping away.

———————————————————————

[Little Bonus]

Rolling out of bed Gojo looked over at your sleeping figure and smiled softly. He was completely entranced by your beauty. He was so lucky to have you in his life.

Stretching he slowly stood up walking towards the bathroom. Suddenly he stopped short looking down at your desk. Pinned to the the hanging bulletin board was the photo booth photos the two of you had taken so long ago. Gojo chuckled thinking back to how you heartlessly swerved him.

"How different things are now..." He smiled warmly while looking back at your sleeping figure.

[taperwolf]

I'm a little unclear on the context of this -- it's from the Love Live Nijigasaki light novel Guren no Kenki -Flame Sword Princess- , which apparently has several short stories tangentially related to the story that ran in the Love Live Days magazine, and which was apparently Setsuna's self-insert fanfic about rescuing princess Ayumu; if I get this right Setsuna made a promo video for the story, and that's what's being shown on the TV -- but this image is just delighting my little polyshipper heart. All the laps being sat in alone! (Setsuna in Yu's, Kasumi in Shizuku's, Ai in Rina's.)

Emma has two hands! No, really, the OG third-years are so snuggly here.

Ayumu is hugging Setsuna about the waist, Yu's got her arms around both Ayumu and Setsuna's shoulders, and Setsuna's delight doesn't look like it's just from the video.

Rina's basically sandwiched between Ai and Mia.

Lanzhu stroking the heads of her R3BIRTH unitmates, just looking delighted -- and Shioriko looks so soft and happy.

[sankatsuka]

Joker (and Akechi) Character Discussion - Emptiness, Desire for Love and A Choice to Live Imprisoned

Warnings:

This is only based on P5R canon.

My evidence can be interpreted in many ways - this is just my own interpretation based on my own experiences.

This is from a Joker fan so I may be biased.

My knowledge of Makoto Yuki and Yu Narukami mostly comes from the animation (I intend to start P4G soon).

I don't fully recall information. If it helps the reader's understanding, I'll search for the the actual text and insert it later on.

Very heavy on Akeshu, their dynamic is very important to their characterization. I am a romantic shipper, but it can be interpreted as platonic too.

The core of this discussion is the theme of depression and emptiness that I believe both Joker and Akechi struggle with. Another theme that I believe is an important foil between the two is Joker's struggle with self-expression and Akechi's over-expression—

Joker’s Way of Living - Playfully Going with the Flow

To me, Joker's character in P5R was shaped the most by his social link with Akechi. It's the only social link where Joker expresses strong emotions without the player making the active choice to or being pressured by outside forces. Joker has always been portrayed as someone who is quiet and keeps his distance, but does still participate in fun and festivities with his friends. Point being, only when people ask him out to do something fun/he feels inclined to as a social gesture, he will participate. In Akechi's social link though was my favourite moment of the entire game - Joker unapologetically disguising Akechi. This was a really small moment but it was the only time he did something just for fun, unprompted, which I really appreciate. 

There's also Hifumi who’s his age and has the same celebrity aura and aloof personality as Akechi. You can choose to mess with her, but it isn't as huge an effort as what Joker does to Akechi. Joker's character to me is someone who CAN poke fun at others, but taking the initiative to do something fun just because it’s fun? Never. Except for around Akechi, which I found incredibly cute: when he says it was fun, Akechi seems slightly amused too, as if he was pleased to see Joker having fun when he normally just goes with the flow. This is something the P3 and P4 protagonists share as well, that they always structure their days to be productive, have no hobbies and only respond wittily to people as a personality. It's silent protagonist stuff, but I like to think it's a good portrayal of depression. A Wild Card is a person who can summon multiple persona - which means they have many masks they use to face hardship, and so these masks are a manifestation of their many personalities. For me, the protagonists are Wild Cards because they are so used to 'acting' to seem normal around other people, to hide away their emptiness and lack of real self desires.

One of P4TA's episodes really stood out to me for building Yu's character in that he resonated with Mitsuo who felt emptiness in his daily life. Yu struggled with being accused of being 'empty' because he has no bonds once you took away his supernatural powers from him. I was really surprised by this episode, because what? Actual characterization for a protagonist with no personality? DEPRESSION?!?!?! He was able to shout that he wasn't empty when Yosuke reached out for him, and this makes me believe that Wild Cards are Wild Cards because their bonds define them - what fills their hearts is this love. These supernatural events give something for Wild Cards to identify with for people to love them, that if you take it away from them then there’s nothing left of them for their friends to stay around for - but Yosuke and the P4 cast prove that they would never leave Yu alone. That's why Wild Cards are not malicious in their 'acting', rather they just have no personality, nothing they care for or like etc, so they can only adapt to the people who want to reach out and care about them. At first, the act is superficial, but with time it becomes a real part of them (MAX Social Link). It’s not unhealthy but just… a way of life you have to embrace and acknowledge if you were dealt the depression card, unfortunately, or else you would be running from yourself. 

(Also, on a side note, I love how the topic of depression isn’t understood by the cast because they aren’t aware they have felt it/just don’t experience it - and they’re all just ‘what-the-hell’ about Mitsuo’s motivations. But Yu knows, keeps it a secret and just plays along - there’s no need for anyone to know, he wants to protect this happiness. How Rise asks him about how he gained his Persona in the same episode as if to point attention to how Yu is similar to Mitsuo, needing something badly to fill the void, but had already acknowledged his emptiness from the start. God, thank you Persona for portraying high-functioning depression so well)

And if P4TA wasn’t enough a portrayal of high-functioning depression and the importance of love, then Behind the Mask’s lyrics are all about that too.

Love for Oneself and Others: What Makes Akechi Wrong and Joker Right

To emphasize on the importance of love to the protagonists, if I’m not mistaken Akechi states clearly how he wanted to be loved and Shido points that out too about Akechi. The fact he's able to summon multiple Persona goes to show how he's empty as a person, and that he has the potential like the protagonists to create new personas. Akechi's lack of trust however is what makes it impossible for him to manifest more than two Persona, as Futaba points out. However, unlike the protagonists, his other Persona Robin Hood wasn't born from a bond, but rather from the love of himself and his past ideals. OK, hear me out, although Akechi suffering from being unwanted does very much affect his ability to truly love and accept himself, the ability to acknowledge his suffering is still self-love in itself, proof that he cares about meeting his own needs. This isn't like the protagonists who go on with life accepting the cards that are dealt to them. Akechi however fears opening his heart to people because of his circumstances growing up, so it was natural for him to only trust and care about himself and nobody else to survive - this is his love, making Robin Hood’s existence possible.  

But being selfish like this makes you lose sight of your morals, of what it truly means to love and be loved - because you will do whatever it takes to survive and be happy in what you believe to be just a shitty strong-eats-weak world, which is how Akechi wound up as Shido's accomplice - now he can use his new powers to tip that cursed power balance. But it’s obvious to Shido that Akechi’s actions screamed wanting to be loved, because he could have used his powers for anything else, yet his first instinct was to reach out to someone who should have loved him and use that power to be relevant to him. And then he decides to build a reputation as a celebrity with what he enjoyed doing best (solving cases) when such a thing was just an unnecessary effort. In fact, wanting to be a celebrity could be said to be the cause of Akechi’s downfall in the first place, because he doesn’t even care about sweets but had to pay attention to fads as a celebrity - then pancakes. Someone who grew up unwanted and unloved would naturally end up being driven by a desire to be loved, even if they believe they’re being ‘strong’. Akechi probably always knew, because after running away from the label of ‘unwanted child’, what else could he do when he was an empty husk of a shell? The only things he could remember is what he wanted as a child - a father, to be a hero and friends. Friends were outside the question now though, because he learned he can’t trust anyone. And his father was a scumbag, so he would never love him normally - but with this power, Akechi had the power to beat adults in power into submission, too. So it made sense that was his first instinct, a revenge to fill his emptiness - and then, so as to not feel alone again, Akechi became a celebrity - because friends were out of the question.

But this corrupted Akechi meets Joker who's living the ideal life he wanted as a child, being surrounded by friends and playing hero despite having shitty circumstances. And not giving a damn about his real family who threw him out here. This infuriates Akechi, because he believed it was impossible and so he worked hard for a less ideal future of being a celebrity with an unknown past. He never believed he could live a normal life overcoming the label of an unwanted child put on him, and here Joker was so effortlessly surrounded by friends while still being labeled a criminal. The label on Akechi is also interesting because it isn't something that everyone knows yet he still feels haunted by it - I love how this portrays that your past will always follow you everywhere, UNTIL you decide to accept it. Akechi probably realizes that Joker is happier because he accepted that label of a criminal and lived with it, and Akechi made a mistake. And this creates the foundation on which he hates and envies Joker, why did Akechi have to be in the wrong when he worked this hard? Akechi already feels incapable of doing anything right from the circumstances of his birth alone, and making more mistakes reinforces this idea that he will never do anything right, makes him more spiteful at his own birth and this frenzy of self-hatred makes it hard to grasp what’s right and wrong to him again. Akechi HATES Joker because of how Joker was able to make the right choices - in a way, this means that Joker's justice beat his.

Joker’s Desire for Perfection (Power) to Love

But that's on Akechi's side. I love that you have the option to make Joker say, 'I'm jealous of you too', to Akechi in his social link. Joker expresses a desire not to lose to Akechi, in billiards or in battle, despite not having any real reason to honor the rivalry. Joker clearly just plays along with Mishima because he has no reason to see Mishima the way he wants to be seen, nor does it benefit the two of them. Here, being rivals could easily be interpreted as a nonsense talk, especially since Akechi was a celebrity, so there was no room for pleasing people either. Even how Akechi gets surprised that Joker remembers the whole rival thing shows Akechi didn’t expect to come off so seriously from the start. Joker wanted to beat him for his own personal reasons. I took this as an implication that Joker admires and envies the perfection and capability Akechi demonstrates. Metaverse Joker’s pompousness and show-off nature does reflect how it’s Joker ideal to be that way, too. This further builds on Joker's feelings towards people, that there's a desire to be perfect and capable for them, and it's reflected in his interactions with them - how he tries to be their best supporter. 

But Joker's way of supporting people isn't consistent. It depends on what he believes is in their best interest, even if it's not what the other wants, like with Mishima - it goes to show he doesn't have an actual personality, but rather his conversations with people are adapted to their needs like his masks that they create in him. This personality of caring about people's best interests and getting involved is why he acted in the harassment incident. But I do think he never initiates friendships of his own accord, and rather has people as confidants, because the trauma of the incident still lingers - that staying indifferent is far better than getting close to people (because he'll just let them down like he has his family and friends). It doesn't stop him from speaking up when things are clearly wrong though (every social link), so it's only that that trauma has hampered his ability to form new relationships. 

I like to HC that he keeps his distance because of how his decision to rescue the woman ruined his relationships with his family and friends. And he doesn't want this to happen again, but he still wants to act when he believes it's right. He needs people so he can fill his emptiness. If he was perfect and capable like Akechi, maybe he could have both saved the woman and somehow not end up with a criminal record. The fact they never talk about his past relationships in canon and Sojiro brings up how he’s troubled his parents does make me HC that it's something he strongly suppressed. His inclination to care about others and get involved goes to show he has always been a kind-hearted person, and his emptiness has likely always been there since before the incident as he accepted the outcome of it without much spite. In fact, it’s the PTs who get angry for him about Shido. He lets people shape his personality, with how after the incident he chose to lay low as people told him to, but he couldn't because he could never change his love and concern for other people. There is also how Joker started wearing spectacles without actually needing them (not confirmed though) and changed his fashion to appear more ‘presentable’. One could deduce it was motivated by the anxiety from disappointing his loved ones with the person he had been and moving to a huge city all on his own where he knew nobody. 

Joker: A Willing Prisoner of His Own Heart

If Akechi closed his heart out of fear, then Joker opened his heart to people. Far too much, that he allows them to dictate who he is - and the only emotion he lets slip is his concern for their best interest, even if they push him away. Other than that, there’s nothing else. This is what I like to think makes Joker a prisoner, because unlike the P3 and P4 protagonists, his heart is never free to truly develop as himself and reach his true answer. Makoto’s answer was growing from apathetic to believing in himself and humanity, Yu’s answer was embracing the happiness that friends bring him… and Joker still hasn’t defined what happiness is for him. Playing hero for the whole of Tokyo twice is still just acting in humanity’s best interests. In fact, playing hero itself can be considered escapism that blinds you from your true desires even more (Ryuji), unless you’re aware of why you want to play hero. Joker never had this epiphany like Ryuji had, nor does he have strong motivations to do what he’s doing like the rest of the PTs, so it can’t be said he’s actually following his heart.

This is reflective of P5's themes too, of the final boss being the manifestation of people's desires to stay prisoners to society. And humanity's worst, most dangerous inmate is Joker himself, which can be interpreted as him being the one who wants to free prisoners but wants to stay imprisoned (LOL). His desire to be that someone who frees other prisoners may be a result of his own projection, that he can’t save himself so he’ll save others. Yaldabaoth comments how Joker's psyche manifested as a prison, and Lavenza talks about how the Velvet Room was originally planned to help Joker develop as a person in the very same prison rather than rehabilitate him. If the Velvet Room is a representation of the guest's journey in P3 and P4, then Joker's journey is as a prisoner to society. He is only trapped behind the bars in prisoner garments when he remains unaware of Yaldabaoth's influence, but even in his Phantom Thief costume the form of the prison doesn’t change even once he’s free from the bars. To me, I interpret this as Joker's ideal that he believes he will forever be trapped in the prison of never expressing himself, but he is at least free to live for the sake of others. At the start, he’s behind bars because he struggles to accept that it is right for him to live for others, but confronting Yaldabaoth is a pivotal moment where he unapologetically makes the decision to save humanity. And the moment he truly feels ‘free’ to live that way.

I'm inclined to believe that his upbringing is what shaped him to be the way he is today - my theory is that he was loved, but not for being himself but for being "someone else". It is something common: Hifumi, Makoto and Haru were seen in this way by people they loved. But the difference is that they recognized these expectations were wrong, so they were unhappy. Makoto, though, agreed with some of her sisters' expectations, until she met PTs and suddenly she wasn’t meeting anyone’s expectations, and this led her to realize she never needed to. The way she was content staying ignorant goes to show how that prison is bearable and comfortable to live in if you're capable of meeting most if not all expectations. I like to think Joker was this kind of person, until the incident with Shido happened. Both Makoto and Joker's reactions when they're suddenly not living up to the expectations of people around them are to try harder - Makoto rushing recklessly for Kaneshiro, Joker changing himself after moving to Tokyo. Or else people will leave them and not care about them anymore, except Makoto has decided that that's a false belief now.

However, unlike Makoto, Joker loves people too much to even think that they were wrong for placing expectations on him. When he awakens his Persona, he’s judging whether he was right or wrong in his choice to act, whereas Makoto’s awakening represents her letting go of the weight of people’s expectations on her. You can even pick the option of ‘I may have been wrong’ when Joker awakens, but he still awakens - going to show his ‘true mask when facing hardships’ is one who wants to keep supporting and protecting people, even if he’s wrong and it hurts him. I like to think Makoto was able to criticize other people and her sister because her father taught her her self-worth by loving her unconditionally in the past and showing her she didn’t have to live to satisfy anyone. The same goes for Hifumi and Haru. But Joker likely never had this unconditional love to realize this, so his only choice is to push forward to keep meeting people's expectations while wanting to protect them, even if it means becoming a villain and outcast. He has to meet people's expectations, or else he has no reason to live - the only Joker who exists is the Joker someone needs. 

But it's because of this, that the desire to be perfect to meet people's expectations is strong in both Makoto and Joker, and hence they view Akechi as their rival. Akechi is very clearly the pinnacle of perfection on the outside. But Joker's feelings for Akechi are stronger, because Makoto no longer needs acknowledgement - her rivalry with him just continues because of the past. For Joker, if he had Akechi's perfection, it would be far easier to live the life he's chosen for himself. What Makoto and Joker don't realize is that Akechi is only able to achieve this state of perfection because he does it selfishly for himself, not to meet the expectations of the people, so it's impossible for them. They will never have his confidence and pride because they are never living entirely for themselves. In fact, Akechi's way of living for him and only himself is a total foil to Joker himself, who entirely lives for other people. It's because of how different they are, that after meeting Joker, Akechi was able to realize what he truly wanted and where he had gone wrong - the 'requited love' Joker has for the people around him who celebrate him as a hero. But it's only because Joker is on such an extreme Akechi is able to see it - being on extreme clearly means there's something wrong with it, though.

Joker’s Numbness to His Own Emotions, and Akechi Awakening Them

I absolutely love the ship for how they complete each other. The game focuses a lot on what Joker means to Akechi, but their relationship vice versa is way more important and personal to me. BE WARNED IT'S JUST MY DELUSION THOUGH. Let’s first talk about Joker's reaction to Akechi's death, that was either to forget or to hold onto the glove. I'm inclined to think forgetting is even an option because Akechi hadn't fully wormed his way into Joker's heart like the latter did. It’s as if deciding to forget something painful so you can keep functioning as normal, even if you want justice/closure for it (like with Shido). Because Akechi’s influence wasn’t strong enough for Joker to grow out of his society-conforming attitude, it’s still an option (and more about how Akechi may have reinforced and justified this attitude later on in the Boiler Room discussion).

Honoring their promise, to Joker, is still something he does out of caring about the other's best interest. As shown in how opting to talk about the glove when Akechi tells you to leave at his last moments makes Akechi happy. It did show Akechi that he still mattered to someone in his last moments, after all. But not expressing his grief about Akechi's death goes to show nothing has changed with Joker. Maybe he wasn’t that sad, but Third Semester proves that wrong. It seems more that he doesn’t realize how much he cares about Akechi, as he never expresses what Akechi means to him even when Maruki clarifies that his decision to revert reality would mean Akechi would be gone.

He did react with apprehension in making the decision, probably because 1) he was deciding whether to kill someone off right in front of them 2) Maruki's words were implying how important Akechi is to him, that he's been ignoring his emotions and he should carefully make a choice. For himself. Even if he knows the right answer, the reality is that Akechi is dead and that he has to go back to that. The way he doesn't seem to care about Akechi's words on 'finding a way back' goes to show he never trusted Akechi to survive in the first place, and only talked about the glove to appease him. That moment of hesitation was important to his characterization for me, as it was like a moment when a numb character has finally been told to feel for himself and be selfish. People pleasing does reign, but it doesn’t change that Joker was told to think more about it for himself.

I would like to think that although Joker’s reaction to Maruki dangling Akechi’s life in front of him could be considered his people-pleasing, the tidbits from their social link shows Joker just isn’t aware of how much Akechi matters to him and that moment makes him just, realize. From the start, he was surprisingly perceptive about Akechi - I interpret this as the surprise of being acknowledged by someone so popular, perfect, in an entirely different league from him and/or initial attraction. Then there’s how Akechi had single-handedly showered Joker in love in the way he makes it a point to talk about every small thing he notices about Joker - being so highly scrutinized like that if you grew up being unseen/seen as someone else is so goddamn satisfying. Especially by someone you perceive as superior and/or have an attraction to. How Joker then felt safe to be pushy and playful around Akechi, because he felt Akechi would accept it and find it to be yet another amusing side to Joker. Joker was able to show glimpses of his real self to Akechi, even if small. To me, it’s why Joker cares so much for someone who lied to him all this time: it doesn’t change that Akechi paid such close attention to understand the real him when everyone else chose to see him the way they want to. 

Then there's how he’s also nothing like the real Akechi, someone who can survive alone and be so unapologetic about his emotions no matter how deviant they are. It’s a form of freedom Joker has never had nor considered, that seeing it at first makes him feel nothing because he’s content where he is. If he were to ever run into a wall because he couldn’t express himself, Akechi would be the first one he would remember. Like how Akechi approached Joker and had an interest in him, sharing more about himself - as if because he wanted Joker to save him. It's the same for Joker, too, that Akechi serves to remind him of his absence of emotional freedom that he doesn’t realize because he’s numbed himself far too much. 'We love other people because they have something we don't have', something along the lines of a quote in my favourite romance manga (Skip and Loafer, pls go watch). Akechi's selfishness and ability to act alone for his own sake, even if misguided, is something Joker can never bear to do if faced with his own happiness and the happiness of many more.

Joker’s Justice VS Akechi’s Justice - The BOILER ROOOOOM

If not for his friends, if not for Akechi’s small mistake, Akechi would have won and killed him. Akechi might have been able to achieve his goals that way, without having to let go and compromise on what he wants, or he may have failed entirely. It's only because Akechi was human and Joker was surrounded by people that Joker was saved from his demise, and Akechi's happiness was robbed from him - showing how Joker's way of living, his justice, is superior. 

Does that mean Akechi’s way of living has always been wrong?

It's still hard for me to interpret how Joker felt in the Boiler Room, but these kinds of thoughts that start from how Akechi could have gotten his way are likely the strongest as it involves Joker's own wellbeing and Akechi's grand goals that were the focus of the situation. Of course, the exchange in the Boiler Room can be interpreted as just Akechi's one-sided spite for Joker, but it's better if it's mutual. Joker never reaches out to save Akechi as desperately as the other PTs do, and I like to think it's because it’s another numb moment for Joker. This was their promised battle to the death, and Akechi lost. Joker’s justice won - a justice where you should live in society doing your best to support other people without bothering anyone, even if you’re suffering and suffocating. This reinforces the justice that dictates Joker's true self has to stay trapped forever. Even if you can meet expectations and accept suffering, no matter how much people love you… it'll still be a difficult and empty life if you can't freely be yourself. Yu is able to break out of this because he knows he has a safe place with his friends to express himself, that his emotions are ‘normal’, but Joker still doesn’t feel entirely safe - not when the PTs describe their group as a place where misfits can feel at home. It isn’t a place where you can feel ‘normal’ - the PTs just reinforce that your true feelings are deviant in society. Seeing an opposing justice lose so badly… a justice that dictates you to be yourself and free, when Joker knows he isn't happy deep down, would stir some feelings of nihilism in him. There is just no place in the world for deviants like them.

But it doesn’t bother Joker so much because he’s already taken ownership of the fact that he’s a deviant, as with his awakening. He can’t be saved, and he’ll just keep plowing through if so.

Both ends of Akechi and Joker's justices are flawed. Akechi's justice disregards the wellbeing of the people around you, Joker's justice disregards your own wellbeing. Akechi is able to give himself a second chance because of the kindness that Joker's justice displays– Even if you stepped out of bounds of society from the pressure, you should still live and take responsibility for the good of both yourself and other people. The gentleness and open arms of this justice, or at least the people practicing it, allows Akechi to integrate it into his own and properly complete him as a person with the ‘love’ and ‘selflessness’ he was missing. In the end, it was the PTs who saved Akechi, but it was Joker who opened his eyes to it - to living with an open heart to people, as happiness cannot come without trust. That's why Akechi knows what's right for him now, because the two justices have come together.

However, Joker continues on his justice, disregarding his own wellbeing. It's fine as long as he's around people who acknowledge his presence, as long as it takes a shape Joker agrees with. Because his way of living has always been centered around playing a role and meeting expectations. But at home where these expectations have become increasingly unrealistic, especially because of the incident with Shido, it's a different story. Joker is likely aware of his fear, but pushes himself to face it like the PTs have decided with their own dreams -  I interpret the message of Joker's Metaverse self in the mirror in the True Ending of P5R as representing his determination to tread reality with that same, self-sacrificing justice, no matter how difficult - the same way he dealt with Maruki’s reality. I find it exciting to explore how the story would continue after Joker returns home because of that. 

He doesn't grow like any of the PTs or Akechi in the canon events because his way of living isn’t wrong nor does it bring him any pain (because he’s not blind, he’s aware of his choices from the awakening of Persona). But his way of living only brings him happiness when he’s with people who have reasonable expectations/unconditional love for whoever he is. As long as he can meet their expectations. But the people who shaped him to live being someone else - his family - won’t have reasonable expectations for him, especially after the incident with Shido. They say the people who can hurt you the most are the people who love you, because they have a vested interest in your happiness, but have ideals of what happiness is and can grow unreasonable in controlling you for you to be happy. It’s normal and parents get over it after their kids have their rebellious phase, but it’s another story of worse if you can’t express yourself properly - and that’s why as you grow up it’s necessary to better understand yourself and have boundaries. I do HC Joker has a hard time expressing himself properly out of anxiety/autism, which is why he speaks so little. And he accepted whatever the people around him wanted without much resistance because it was more difficult to express yourself for him. I feel like this is where Akechi’s justice serves to complete Joker, to break him free from the silly bonds that trap and define him and give him a good wake-up call to not give up on expressing and understanding himself.

Akechi and Joker represent selfishness and selflessness deviants of society to me, two emotions that have to coexist in perfect balance to be happy. What more, they also go to show that choosing to grow up selfish or selfless happens when you aren’t loved for being yourself - you know that you have to co-exist with people who don’t love you, so you survive by either beating them down or pleasing them. I find there’s a lot more to talk about Akechi-Joker foils over Adachi-Yu, that it discusses the whole concept of living in a society which rejects you. Exploring Joker’s character does add a lot more to the discussion, but that’s just me.

Dynamics of two people that complete each other are always, always my OTPs… P5 has its problematic writing but thank you very much for Akeshu Atlus (This is beyond delusional but how Justine (J=Joker) and Caroline (C=Crow) complete each other to create Lavenza (L=Love)??? How Justine has Joker’s composed sassy demeanor and Caroline has Crow’s aggressive behaviour????? Justine seeming to be in charge of the Compendium containing all the Persona born from Joker’s bonds???)

[thephooka]

How we got here from there

Or, the long journey of a longform long-running webcomic about a long man with long wings.

In the spirit of @feathernotes and @phantomarine who have been talking about just starting your webcomic and not worrying about being "ready", I was inspired to do a post about White Noise's origin! I'm a little limited by the fact that I either left behind or destroyed a lot of the art I have from prior to 2009, so you'll have to take my word for it.

Cringe Truth below the cut!

The Cringe Truth of White Noise is that it has its roots in a Pokemon x Yu Yu Hakusho x self-insert(s) roleplay thread I used to do with an internet friend I made on Neopets guild forums way back in 2002-ish. We would come home from school every day and RP over AIM, and then when we had to get offline, whoever left first would email the other one, and we would continue via email until we were back on AIM at the same time.

Liya was my self insert.

This isn't even remotely the earliest art of her, it's just the earliest I have on hand. I was drawing her for almost a decade by the time I drew this one. Imagine the earlier drawings as being like I traced over Sailor Moon characters that I printed out from deviantART and gave them a brown ponytail.

The funny thing is Liya really hasn't changed much from her original form! I also had loose brown curls that I kept in a ponytail 24/7 to the point that it showed when I had it down (which is why her hair is 'dented' like that). I did it because I was trans and didn't know it; she does it because she hasn't realized she can just cut it off and be butch yet.

Other characters that date back from this time period: Yoshi (originally an InuYasha/Rurouni Kenshin pastiche), Hawk (I don't remember when he got wings but they were white at first), Numair (named after the Tamora Pierce character and filling a Koenma kind of role), Helly (sort of--I had an elf character named Kamui who had the same temperament, and he was eventually transmuted into Helly) and...Kurogane.

I've never named Kurogane but he appears in the background of the comic a few times, as my own personal inside joke.

Vlad came along somewhere between this RP period and planning the comic, but I can't remember when or why. I don't have drawings from that time (~2004?) but he was the first character I drew when I got a tablet for the first time.

Everyone else came along later when I started actually planning out the comic.

All this said: the reason I started White Noise as a weekly webcomic is because I wanted to learn to draw better.

At the time I was in college majoring in animation, but I didn't feel like I was learning very much at all (the program was badly structured; I had more art history classes than anything else. It was a mess.) I was also working nights in order to feed myself, and so had a lot of downtime. I had this story rattling around in my head from my RP days, so I figured, why not just give it a go?

For posterity here's a photo of a chapter 1 panel in progress, back in 2011 with my typical college diet in the bg:

(Chapter 1 was originally pencil on paper, scanned in and colored in PS. I later re-drew it to make it fully digital to match with the rest of the comic.)

There's been a lot of talking about not waiting until you're 'ready' to start a webcomic, and I agree with that sentiment. Try framing it like this: making a comic every week for years and years will improve your art way more than any prep work you can do before starting the comic. It's like learning to swim. You can read about swimming all you want, but you're not going to really figure it out until you do it. If your early comics are bad, well, that's normal. It used to be an expected part of doing webcomics; I blame the shift into expecting webcomics to be polished from start to finish partly on commercialization in the space, but that's an angry rant for another time.

With this background, here's the collage I posted for WN's 10 year anniversary back in 2021:

And now we're here.

So do your webcomic. Put it on ComicFury or make a janky little site for it. Be okay with imperfect pages and be prepared to shout into the void for a while. Even if it's always a hobby, if it never makes you a dime or wins you any awards--that's fine! You'll be a lot happier if you learn not to worry about that stuff, and just make something that will help you grow and make you happy. We could do with a lot more work like that in the world imo.

[red-handed-tamarin]

tam is opening writing REQUESTS (free)

CURRENT QUEUE STATUS: DOING THIS AGAIN BUT QUEUE IS CURRENTLY FULL

These are not commissions, though in some administrative ways they may be treated as such (i.e. a queue with limited slots, attempted adherence to prompts, due dates / limited time turnaround etc.). I will be opening up a queue to write pieces FOR FREE. See below for guidance!

~~

How many slots will be open?

For now I'll be opening three slots at a time. This seems like the most manageable number for me at the moment but could change in the future.

~~

What is the word count limit for requests?

The absolute minimum word count will be 300. The maximum word count offered will likely be 1000, but in general, I'll be shooting for the 500-800 word range.

~~

What kind of requests are you taking?

There are MANY things I'd be very happy to write, so don't feel limited by the will-write list below; anything not specifically blacklisted can be requested, but I reserve the right to turn down any request for any reason at any time.

WILL WRITE:

fanfiction, original fiction, or nonfiction (such as meta)

first, second, or third person

OCs, reader inserts

any non-PWP genre

a variety of formats

most kinks

incest

ao3 categorical archive warnings: rape, underage, graphic violence, character death

WON'T WRITE (BLACKLIST):

real people fiction (rpf) involving anyone who is NOT the requester; I'm willing to write the requester into the story if that is desired

harry potter or any jk rowling content

pure smut (I'm just no good at it)

scat/watersports

woundfucking

MASTERLIST OF MY FANDOMS (wip) (don't feel beholden to this, I'm just providing it for inspiration and reference)

~~

What do I need to include in my request?

The following elements are critical for any request (please ensure they are included!):

characters/ships and what media they're from

a specific scenario

a desired resolution

squicks / do not writes (DNWs)

whether you are OPEN to nsfw content or would prefer all SFW

information about an OC or self-insert: name/nickname, pronouns, physical description and style, personality, relevant backstory points

Optional elements include (I can't make any guarantees but I'll see what fits!):

preferred genres

favorite tropes

any and all additional information about OCs/self-inserts. I'm very interested in every little detail, please share!!

Here are some examples of strong, viable requests:

"please write yusuke and kuwabara from yu yu hakusho having a beach day together with a kiss at the end! I don't like poly, so please don't include that, and I'm not interested in NSFW at this time. I also prefer fluff and friends-to-lovers, and I don't mind if it's first person."

"I request dick grayson and jason todd, both batman characters, training together while jason is robin. it can be open-ended, but there should be a mutual attraction there. jason can be and probably should be underage in this, but not younger than 14. would love to see nsfw content if the mood strikes."

"I'm looking for someone to write for my OC, who is a pokemon trainer based on myself. here's a link (x) to my character's profile on my tumblr. it would be really fun if this OC could be shipped with brock; they're both 15 at the time. I really want them duking it out at a pokemon gym. my character should win and then brock should ask my character on a date. please keep it SFW and pretty vanilla, but I really like flirty text messages, so if you wanted to make textfic part of it, that would be cool."

"can you do some analytical nonfiction about anakin's relationship with droids in star wars, and how it has to do with his history as a slave? I personally think he personifies things that people depersonify because of that, but I'd like to know your take. if you have anything to say about sexual violence please tag it and put it under a read more, that stuff upsets me."

~~

How do I submit a request?

You can submit a request either on or off anon on tumblr, or you can use this google survey!

Notes:

Writing pieces will typically have a turnaround of two weeks or less. This is NOT a guarantee.

Once written, the piece will be posted publicly to my AO3 and I will tag you. Please let me know if you want to remain anonymous! Requests CAN be made anonymously on tumblr, but I won't be able to tag you upon completion, so please make sure to subscribe on AO3!

I will never knowingly use AI for any aspect of my writing.

Please signal boost this post!

[cosmic-pheonix]

Feeling bored and unmotivated in posting stuff (and probably in a need for some interaction with fellow moots/followers). Saw a post on Twitter on everyone sharing their cartoon crushes. (In case you missed it!)

I decided to be brave and share my fictional crushes! 😖🫡 Feel free to either agree or roast me! (Civically of course!) I'd love to see others fictional crushes and gush over them as well! So don't be shy in sharing them under the replies!

So to first start off...

Him💜

The 1st pic and GIF of him always does something to me (My god...)

Yami Yugi/Atem (Yu-Gi-Oh! DM/DSOD) | Main Crush - My first anime fictional crush 💜✨🌟 (and still is to this day! And has been recently the cause for all those self ship/self insert reblog posts on my other blog, as embarrassing as it sounds....) This man has inadvertently popped back into my brain all of sudden and slowly got me back to hyper fixating on YGO, (in the year of our lord saviour 2024), specifically for him 💜! There's really a plethora of reasons why I enjoy and appreciate him as a character (ie his personality, aura, kindness, complexity and flaws as a character, his voice - both in English and Japanese 😳 etc. - if anyone's interested maybe I might make a seperate post about it and share my headcanons for him perhaps)

2. Seto Kaiba (Yu-Gi-Oh! DM/DSOD) - Do I really need to say anything? 🤷🏾‍♀️ Same reasons applied as Yami/Atem really! The guy’s iconic, what can I say?

3. Dartz (Yu-Gi-Oh! DM) - Unpopular opinion/hot take but I think he’s pretty underrated as a villain (fuck him for making Yami Yugi cry + manipulating him and everyone else - Affectionately?? Just so my words don’t get twisted out of context, I’m appreciating him as a villain/character here, so don’t get it twisted). Is the story a hit or a miss or is it necessary? Can’t really say for sure, sorry🤷🏾‍♀️.

It’s been a long time I watched YGO, so go easy on me and take it with a grain of salt. All I will say honestly, is that I really like his design, him as a character (I think there’s a lot of missed potential that could’ve been explored more) and his voice (English preferably, Wayne Grayson’s performance as Dartz really did it for me! No hate towards the Japanese VA/Dub, just a preference towards his eng voice)

4. Pantalone (Genshin Impact) - Okay, so here’s the thing with him…If I happen to come across a guy with this much drip, charm and mysterious aura, with glasses to boot than I’m already sold! I haven’t played much Genshin in a long time, so I’m not sure what role he plays into the story. (I’d love to hear your thoughts and theories, though no spoilers please! 😊)

I’ve only seen snippets of clips and fanart of him and the fatui from here and there, but I hope he’s playable in the near future.

If Arlecchino (Father - MORE LIKE DADD-), can become playable in the future, then so can he (among other fatui members, aside from Childe).

5. Boothill (Honkai Star Rail) - I don't know about you guys, but ever since he's been leaked (and now recently added to the game have seen his character trailer - the way he just sauves and moonwalked like the smooth criminal he is did it for me!) I just adore him - Design, personality, voice everything! I love me a spunky, sassy rootin tootin space ranger cowboy that loves to cause havoc and chaos! (and serves cun-) I just think he’s neat! (Also is it just me or does his theme song in the character trailer sounded something you would hear in a freakin Ford Truck Commercial, his theme screams pure “America. Freedom, F yeah!” Vibes. PLEASE TELL ME I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT THINKS THIS?! I JUST FIND IT FUNNY TO ME)

6. Miguel O'Hara (Across The Spiderverse) - Haven’t seen the movie yet (dw I plan to watch it but PLEASE NO SPOILERS!) but this man is everywhere and I don’t blame you! I’ve seen fanart/edits of him (especially ones whenever they show his fangs 😳👀) and honestly it’s on me because I been rewatching ColeyDoesThings video on him and it immediately got me back to start watching the spider verse movies (it’s on my to do list) So thanks Coley! (You should go check out her YouTube videos on everything fandom related, it’s great!)

UPDATE: Got another honourable mention! ✨⭐️

7. Lycaon (Zenless Zone Zero) - I’ve recently started playing ZZZ and so far it’s pretty fun! I’ve seen so many clips and fanart of this dude it’s not even funny. He’s pretty cool and got a nice design and voice. And that’s all I’m gonna say. I think this video on Twitter should speak for itself:

[yandere-x-reader]

➼ Dividers done by @/cafekitsune

Color Code: Romantic, Platonic, Either

MHA / BNHA ♡

Mezo Shoji, Koji Koda, Rikido Sato, Tenya Ida, Hanta Sero, Shoto Todoroki, Momo Yaoyorozu, Katsuki Bakugo, Eijiro Kirishima, Mashirao Ojiro, Yuga Aoyama, Denki Kaminari, Izuku Midoriya, Mina Ashido, Fumikage Tokoyami, Ochaco Uraraka, Kyoka Jiro, Toru Hagakure, Tsuyu Asui, Hitoshi Shinso, Mirio Togata, Nejire Hado, Tamaki Amajiki, Hizashi Yamada, Present Mic, Shota Aizawa/Eraserhead, Enji Todoroki/Endeavor, Keigo Takami/Hawks, Rumi Usagiyama/Mirko, Yu Takeyama/Mt. Lady, Toshinori Yagi/All Might, Kugo Sakamata/Gang Orca, Taishiro Toyomitsu/Fat Gum, Emi Fukukado/Miss Joke, Nemuri Kayama/Midnight, Sekijiro Kan/Vlad King, Nezu, Eri Aizawa

FNAF:SB ♡

Sun, Moon, Roxy, Monty, Glamrock Freddy, Glamrock Chica, DJMM, Vannesa/Vanny, Gregory, Map Bot

Encanto

Luisa, Mirable, Isabella, Delores,Camilo, Alma, Pepa, Bruno, Julieta, Felix, Agustin, Antonio

Gravity Falls ♡

Bill Chipher, Stanley, Stanford, Mable, Dipper.

OCs ♡

To be added

Anonymous asks

I am perfectly fine with anyone using anonymous asks, I personally use them a lot. However if you use anonymous asks, please put a emoji(s) or a letter(s) as your signature. Just put it at the bottom of your ask and I'll add it to the list

Used Letters:

Used Emojios:

I will write

Different AU's: I can do all diffrent types! Pirate, mafia, hybrid, fantasy, royalty, mermaid, soulmates, mall workers, vampires, ghosts, ect. Or if you have your own AU and would like me to do somthing with it I can tolltally do that to.

Omegaverse: I know not everyone likes this trope but i'm a absaloute sucker for it. I can do Alpha, Beta, or Omega for charecters or Reader. I do write heats but not in a sexual way, i personally write them kinda like a human period but replace the blood with increased body tempetures.

Any Gender: I am personally genderfluid and AFAB so those are the two that I would have the most experience with. However if you want me to do somthing like a trans reader or AMAB reader than I can try my best. Don't be afraid to make it specific to you, everone is diffrent and I understand trying to look for something that fits you more than the stereotypes.

Crossovers: I don't see a lot of creators in any fandom doing crossovers a lot. I see like *Insert charecter* x reader with *insert other character* personality but not really crossovers. So feel free to request a crossover with a diffrent show.

Any skin color: I love having variety in my writing so I will do any skin colors. I can do basic skin colors, from pale peach to dark brown. I can also do exstream versions like skin that is nearly paper white from how pale it is or skin that us nearly space black from how dark it is. I can also do unnatural skin colors, like Mina!

Alterhuman Reader: Ok so I see absaloutly no alterhuman reader fanfics out there so i'm here to change that. I'm not personally a alterhuman but I do have a few freinds that are. If you want me to do a specific one instead of basic I can also do that. Like instead of a dragon kin I can do a dragon kin with space wing and starts eyes with claws that glow in the dark ect.

Body Marks: I personally have stretch marks, moles, freckles, and odd placed birthmarks so I can do any of these or others if you would like. If you are specifically extra self-conscious of your body marks than I can add extra levels of love to specific part if you would like :)

Feel free to requests anything as long as it's not in my will not write list!

I will not write

Abuse: I will not do the character inflicting pain on the reader or the reader inflicting pain on the charecter. I can do mentions of past abuse, such as a charecter or reader flinching at touch or loud noise.

Cheating: character doing it to reader or reader doing it to character is just a big no. I never understood cheating, if you don't love somone just break up with them. If you can't do it for safety reson than find a support system to protect you in dangerous situations.

Misscarage: I have lost three sibling to this and I still cry at night thinking of them, please don't ask me to do anything to do with this subject. If you do I will give you 1 warning and then I'm blocking you.

Abortion: I don't really have a side here but I don't like the though of writing it as it makes me uncomfortable.

Rape/SA: I don't feel comfortable doing this subject. I can not do mentions of it as I have not personally experienced it and don't want to miss somthing or do something wrong.

NSFW: I may be a yandere blog but I do not wish to do anything sexual on this blog, only romantic and platonic here.

Note

Don't worry about being cringe with me! As long as your not hurting anyone than why should I stop you from having fun? Fell free to be your authentic self and request somthing super specific if you want.

[nasuverse-most-breedable-tourney]

With the head game tourney over. Was there a contender that drew the most aggro in your ask box?

Oh yeah haha. I couldn't respond to quite a bit of the stuff you guys sent either because it was too meanspirited/inappropriate or was too hard for me to have the ask be attached to a character word bubble. But the top 4 of the most controversial and abundant asks (not counting first week Jalter) were about Yu Mei-Ren, Mash, Guda, and Kiara lol.

Those 4 drew so much aggro is was actually kind of funny. When Yu beat Dantes it cemented her as the villain in a lot of peoples eyes. Poor Yu. I actually think she had what it took to go further in the tourney and losing to Cu in head game seemed like a waste to me personally because I knew Cu would've stood no chance against Medb in the matchup after.

Mash at the time, had just won a huggable servant poll so people were ready to throw hands with her right out of the gate and that hate finally culminated in her matchup with Fergus so much so that the poll containment breached. I personally wanted Mash to keep winning because I thought it was really funny ngl.

Guda hate was kinda expected tbh, not everybody depicts the player character as an OC or a unique character that acts separately from fgo text. Of course Guda is sexless if you take the character at face value and don't self insert even a little.

Kiara hate was the least fun to read. Annoying amount of slurs and slut shaming for this one. I can understand not liking the character, she isn't for everybody but come on man.

[atypicalsouda]

I have! a question!

what's your self inserts' favorite meals? and/or desserts? ôwô

Hey baby! Thanks for the ask, it’s a real interesting question! 😘

I’ll start with Sal (DR AU s/i). He loves meat, pretty much any meat. But I’d say some rare steak, fried rice and maybe some other side would be a big favorite for him. He also has a thing for cinnamon rolls, as he used to bake them with his father before living on the streets, and that’s part of the reason why he makes them for his partners sometimes.

As for Claine (Blush Blush kelpie s/i for Aki), I’m not sure he needs to eat. But, if he does eat I’d assume he favors things in an equine’s diet like plants and fruit. Seaweed, berries. I don’t know if he’s ever had an actual meal type dish. But, if he joins Aki at a summer festival or something, he may enjoy the food they could buy there, as he can technically eat anything in human form. Fried squid, etc.

Virtue (Yu Feng Changed s/i) favors oranges just like Puro, and all the other fruit he the other latex end up growing. (Everyone is friendly eventually in within my ship’s world, without any humans ever bothering them.)

For Tyson, (Pokémon s/i for Adaman) I see him enjoying meat as well. Tho unlike Sal, he prefers to eat it in dumplings or whatever else kind of sandwich-like food they may have in the Arceus world. Also probably potato mochi cuz that’s all they ever fucking eat there.

My other Pokémon s/i who finally has a name, Jordan, doesn’t really strike me as a foodie. I feel like he’s picky. I also feel like if he favors any food, it’s sweets. Puddings, ice cream, mousse. That kind of thing. Everything else he just kind of has an “eh I gotta something I guess if I don’t wanna die, obviously.”

My tlou s/i, Max, was definitely a junk food junkie before the apocalypse. Bbq chips, energy drinks. I really see him liking Mexican food, burritos and tacos. Pizza, hotdogs. Anything stereotypically American lol.

Anddd that’s it finally. I’m sticking with Sal for Scale, in a fantasy AU, and I’m also bringing Fuyuhiko with me. I don’t know a lot about it yet tho, cuz i haven’t gotten far with him or Poe yet.

Poe’s s/i even less. I don’t know a thing about him sides that I want him to be transmasc.

[oceanrequiem]

any fic recs?

Hello! Sure, I have a few fics I'd reccommend:

Pureblood Pretense - If you like Harry Potter, world-building, and incredibly complex characters, I would highly recommend it. The series is on its 5th novel now, over 1mil words. It's technically a f!Harry story, but Harry/Rigel is essentially an OC and is treated as such. It is hands down one of my favourite works of fiction.

The concept of the story is that Tom Riddle went into politics instead, which has made a vast number of changes in the wizarding world--including Hogwarts becoming a Pureblood-only school for wizards. Harriett/Rigel, being a halfblood, concocts a plan with her OC pureblood son-of-Sirius-Black cousin to switch places with him so that she can go to Hogwarts to pursue her dream of potion-making while her cousin can learn to heal at an American school. It's a wonderful story with a lot of world-building and politics!

Some other that I like are...

Paper Cranes: Hikaru no Go, 212k - currently on an indefinite hiatus, but it largely deals with grief and the aftermath of settling your life after losing something that was integral to you. It delves more into Hikaru's abilities to see ghosts and does a really really good job of making a childish, complicated person very likable and relatable.

(Fun fact, Hikago is one of my favourite animes!)

and much madness it takes: One Piece, 55k, complete. SI/OC inserted into a child of Big Mom, which is just as horrifying as one might expect.

The Cowards Redemption: One Piece, 150k, incomplete (also hasn't been updated in a year) A Future!Usopp where his crew is destroyed and is sent back in time, to the beginning, where he has the chance to change things!? We love time shenanigans!

Sanitize: Naruto, 89k, still in progress. OC is inserted into the Naruto world during the Warring Clans era, utilizing her knowledge of modern day medicine to improve the lives of many.

from the corner of your eye: Naruto, 168k, in progress. A small, simple misunderstanding during the genin testing changes things drastically. (I actually need to catch up on this, because stopped reading this awhile ago but I loved it)

Lucky Child: Yu yu Hakusho, 1117k, still in progress. SI reborn into a side character, having to struggle with either changing her narrative or keeping to the status quo. This isn't so easy when there are malevolent forces at play who are banking on her to cross the line.

Astra Inclinant: One Piece, 201k, Complete. AU where Doflamingo actually loves his brother and tries really fucking hard.... It's not any kinder story, though. 10/10, loved this characterization of Doffy.

A Lack of Wisdom: Naruto, 292k, complete. Self-aware SI is inserted into the body of Sasuke, leading to many fun and heartbreaking shenanigans. Handles gender and the crisis of identity beautifully!!

As far as the ocean will take us: Still in progress, 180k, One Piece. A marine medic turned Strawhat! (The slowburn romance is chef's kiss)

...

I don't often get to read a lot of fanfic nowadays, so if anyone has any recommendations, feel free to shoot them my way!

[teletunkie]

In mall au what happens if Xie Lian wants to come over to Hua Cheng's apartment?

LOL I imagine emergency clean-up crew of 1 Miss Yin Yu comes over and cleans the place up for them, but otherwise, He Xuan is just kind of there and its whatever. We were talking recently about hualian having sexy times on the futon and Xie Lian being like “Um haha should we move this to the bedroom?” And Hua Cheng and He Xuan being like “no its cool.” LMFAO

Imo Hua Cheng really did not give a shit about Mu Qing and Feng Xin seeing all his self-insert porn in the Cave of 10,000 Gods in canon, his only concern was what Xie Lian thought and is pretty cocky/smug afterwards when it’s revealed that Xie Lian doesn’t mind it. So I think people being around while they have sex or cuddle or whatever does not matter much to Hua Cheng. So long as everyone knows Jiejie is hers 😌👍

[dollivication]

As i saw that other anon say it, yeah, i seriously hope things aren't too extreme for you currently. know that what you make can still bring comfort to some people even! i have a ton of issues and getting to play with dark fiction on my own terms and time with my comfort characters and self inserts honestly almost soothes me so, love to you, i hope this is still fun for you

awhehhhggg, this was super sweet to read ..,,; and it always serves as a nice reminder that you guys find comfort in the stuff i spew asdhflgfhk ૮꒰ ˶> ༝ <˶꒱ა !!!! i love you guys so somuch🩷

on maybe the most serious note on this blog,,, dark fiction itself is something that i do enjoy; for me it’s a means of coping, and i have been fortunate enough to have met wonderful people because of it.

no hate received yet, but i wouldn’t be surprised if it came soon since it’s…,,,! not everyone’s cup o tea !LMAO but i’m not too concerned with that, since the inside of everyone’s little bubble looks different. just because my bubble doesn’t fit someone else’s tastes doesn’t make it any less of a safe place, and i’m not going to accommodate it to how others want it and i acknowledge vice versa :3

so i do find fun in it, because it helps! especially now that i recently got diagnosed with panic disorder—in a family that isn’t very,, open minded,,? to mental illnesses, its been assisting a lot in getting that bad stuff out of my system in a way? if that makes sense LMAOSFF… i am Not very Good wirth words..,

for now it’s fun, at least, because nobody is expecting anything of me. expectations are something i want to get away from, so it’s really nice to just be in a place where thoughts can be shared without any judgment ^.^!!

in regards to my well-being—i’ve just felt a little out of it, i know therapy needs you to dig up shit and talk about it but i guess actually coming to terms with everything has thrown me for a loop ;;.,

it’s easier to try to forget that stuff altogether than being like “oh, hey! this happened and this was the outcome of it, what can we do to make that outcome less bad?”

despite it all though ,i’m doing my best to remain positive! not just for myself but also 4 yu guys!!! ^ш^

i hope things have been good for you as well, and i really am grateful for the chance to have actually been real with you guys about how i’ve been 🩷

[eyes-of-mischief]

weekly fic recs | 47

prompt: self-insert/OC-insert

fandoms: bnha, knb, mdzs, naruto, svsss

bnha

Causality of Temporal Paradox by MirrorDaltokki

"A tart temper never mellows with age, and a sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use." - Washington Irving

In which you are very clearly not having a good time slipping through time and space.

Lucky for you, there's at least one constant. Hawks seems to not mind you showing up in his bed over and over again throughout his life.

But hey, look at the upside. There's pro-heroes, so that's kind of cool.

Cleaning Crew; Teaching Kids to Value their Safety, for Fun and Profit by Reavv

Takenaka Hideo is a thirty-two year old, in mild desperation for money, who has just been hired as a new janitor for UA's support staff. He has a quirk that lets him find lost objects, a liaison with the police because of it, and desperate desire for competent co-workers.

Oh, and he's already lived a previous life, in a world where quirks and heroes didn't even exist.

Not a big deal, though. It's not like you ever see the janitor playing a big part in action movies. He's here to get paid, and that's it.

On the opposite side of the equation, class 1-A has to wonder at the new UA cryptid that always seems to show up when things are on fire, and who keeps trying to convince them to let the adults handle the fire extinguisher.

knb

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades by Vroomian

You don't care about sports, and you didn't ask for this nonsense.

so miracles happen after all. by リリス - riris (arurun)

Paralyzed from the neck down, a former basketball star wished only for one thing.

And like a miracle, he wakes up in a new world, in a new body-- and there's only one thing he wants to do now, so he starts running.

"Wait, is this that basketball anime?"

Ball Is Life, But You Still Need To Pay Rent by vermillion_crown 

Here's the thing. Taiga has a little breakdown (politely, in the cabin restroom at 3:37 AM PST while the other passengers are dead asleep) and gets over it in the span of the eleven hour flight into Tokyo. The leftover memories in his head really help with perspective, let's just say.

He likes basketball. Loves it, even. Sure, maybe another team sport might do the trick in a pinch, but his body and reflexes are optimized for basketball. It'd be a waste of time to change tracks

Ball is life, but you still need to pay rent. Okay, well officially, his dad's paying the rent. But the sentiment still stands, right? There are other things to worry about.

Who the hell peaks in high school?

(SI/OC as Kagami Taiga, who just wants to ball—all the chūnibyō shit be damned.)

mdzs

by foot it's a slow climb by Vroomian

(graphic depictions of violence) (major character death)

So. Let's get this straight - I didn't set out to derail any plot. My plan was to lay low and stay away from canon. It's just...

My plans tend to fail.

Spectacularly.

i told you when i came i was a stranger by Caramelized

(mature)

A modern OC arrives in Yiling before the start of the Sunshot Campaign. She has no friends, no money, and no cultivation. She knows what's coming, but what could she possibly do about it? *** “Well…” I looked down at my fingernails and tried not to squirm. “If there were a way to separate Wei Wuxian from Madam Yu without ruining his relationship with his siblings, I’d encourage it. Like, as an example, marriage.”

Xichen blinked. “To you?”

“No. Absolutely not. What even—?” The thought was so abhorrent I couldn’t hold it in my head. My brain spat it right back out. “To your brother.”

Xichen blinked. Again. “To Wangji?”

“Obviously?”

“This is a concern of yours?”

“I realize it’s not my business at all,” I admitted. “But you asked.”

naruto

Doing the Work by MarbleGlove

There’s more to peace than the absence of war. The work is as hard and uncertain as any Shinobi mission.

AKA: A highly self-indulgent fic in which a civilian woman helps an orphaned Sasuke and winds up saving the world.

Making Lemonade by Meeceisme

(mature) (graphic depictions of violence)

Waking up after dying to a whole new life in a brand new body is a little outside his frame of reference. But he'll do his best to make the best of this weird as hell situation. Worse comes to worst he'll grab all his favourite people and run the hell away from this mad place.

Featuring: Konoha's atrocious orphanage system, cynical child soldiers and Kakashi's guilt complex.

wataru, wataru by unolvrs

(mature)

“Kirigakure didn’t need help. They needed salvation.”

No one knows anything about the Mizukage. Only that she’s kind. She likes to smile. She likes seafood like every other Mizu-born. And that there’s something inexplicably wrong with her. There’s something wrong with the Mizukage whom the Kiri-nin call a ‘god’.

—or, Wataru Wataru was never really a powerhouse, in this life or the last, but she’s resourceful. She knows cults, pyramid schemes, and corrupt politicians like the back of her hand, so of course, she becomes the Mizukage and becomes a god along the way.

svsss

exec_ep=diviega/. by MirrorDaltokki, MULmul

(mature) (major character death)

AKA: Female Protagonist Fights the System Because She Doesn't Want to Live on the Lesbian Peak Just Because She Won't Sleep With Luo Binghe and She Can Write This Piece of Trash Novel Better than The Stupid Author