#(I want to scream about it there's so many good teresa scenes. one is so fucking funny)

[lacomandante]

Also I forgot to update: last Sunday I got Sharpe's Command (thank you Amazon Spain) and I just want to say. Bernard Cornwell sometimes you are the bane of my existence but I lost my MIND reading this book. I couldn't put it down and screamed at Sam as I read ahead bc CORNDOG GAVE US SO MUCH TERESA AND TERESA/SHARPE STUFF. SO MUCH. TERESA GETS HER DAY IN THE SUN AND I HAD TO REFRAIN FROM SCREAMING W/ ASSUMPTA RIGHT NEXT TO ME WHILE I READ. Literally this book is SO FUCKING GOOD for both teresa/sharpe content AND teresa content I am SO happy with it, and it absolutely was worth the wait. Every time he could've done something disappointing he didn't and i kicked my feet and twirled my hair and rolled around on the couch as I read it and ooughhhhhhhh it's now my favorite Sharpe book EVER!!!!!!!!!! TERESA MORENO MY BELOVED SHE GOT SO MUCH STUFF IN THIS BOOK....THANK U FOR MY LIFE CORNDOG

[writingsbychlo]

smoke and fire (01)

word count; 6959

summary; after making a somewhat reckless decision in the heat of the moment, newt gives you some harsh truths, and some good advice.

notes; this first part isn’t all that exciting, admittedly, but these first few parts set a grounding for the rest, so you just have to rock with it.

warnings; reference to injury, building fire, reference to dementia.

Stepping into the main room, you glanced around, catching the eye of your friend and colleague, the blond who was waving at you from the tall counter. His foot was propped up on one of the taller stools, a plate of pancakes in front of him as he held a pen between his teeth, the newspaper out before him. 

Striding across the room towards him, the fireman you’d come to know as ‘Fry’ due to desperate love for cooking when he wasn’t on a call was grinning, flipping a couple more pancakes over the stove, and he reached for another plate, placing it in front of the Empty seat. Lifting his foot down, Newt left the seat available to you, and despite the chatter in the room, you could still hear his excited ‘hello’, even if it was spoken around the pen in his mouth, which promptly dropped, and he fumbled to catch it. 

“You’re chipper this morning?”

“I got here before Brenda, which means I get the puzzles in the paper.” He waved the paper at you, before putting his pen down on it and picking up his fork, not bothering with the knife as he tore off an extra piece of the pancake, syrup dripping from it as he lifted it to his mouth, a drip falling down his chin. “She always does the crossword before I can get there, and she messes it up by putting the wrong words in and quitting halfway through. Not today, though.”

“Close your mouth, you’re so gross!”

He made an extra loud smacking sound as he ate, leaning in as he chewed with his mouth open, and you cringed, laughing as you leaned away, the hot breath with a sickly-sweet undertone washing over your face. The plate before you was piled with three pancakes of your own, a bottle of syrup being passed over to you, and you turned to Fry, flashing him a grin and a nod in thanks, before picking the bottle up. Raising your hand, you pushed Newt away from you, laughing a little. 

The main door scraped loudly, your attention directed over to it, and the lieutenant you had already managed to get on the wrong side of was already staring at you both. His brows were furrowed, jaw tense, and eyes cold, and despite it all, you tried to offer him a polite nod, one which he simply ignored as he tore his eyes away from the pair of you, and watched you leave the room. He wandered away, taking a seat at the table with the rest of the crew, and you were happy to simply ignore him, knowing that engaging with the issue was only going to make your time here more miserable. 

Turning to your food, you focused your attention back on Newt, who had turned the newspaper around to sit equally between you both, his hand under the edge of your stool to pull you closer to look over it all, and you squeaked a little as you were dragged in his direction. “I need a nine-letter word that’s a synonym for ‘fair’. Starting with ‘I’.”

“I’m no good at crosswords.” You teased, taking a chunk out of your stack and bringing it to your mouth, chewing happily as he gave you a mock glare.

“Well, what fucking good are you as a partner then, huh?” You grinned, knowing he was joking, despite how hard he was trying to keep his face serious, the glint in his eyes and the twitches at the edge of his lips making it hard for you to take him with anything severity. “Fine, what kind of puzzles do you like?”

“I’m a sudoku fan.”

You tapped a finger at the empty blank grid, only a few of the numbers already put in, and he rolled his eyes with a groan. “You’re awful, the absolute worst, actually.”

He shoved at your arm, trying to push your way from him once again, and as he did, your body jerked, the food on your fork dropping down your front and rolling over half of your shirt to come and sit on your pants. You stared at it, the sticky food covered in fibres from your shirt and your pants, your brows furrowing and lips pursing, and when you looked back up to Newt, he was biting down on the inside of his cheek to hide his grin. 

“That was an accident. I swear it.”

“Uh-huh.” You picked the sticky chunk up, groaning a little at the golden sauce that had made a stain along the crisp white paramedic’s shirt you were wearing. You let out a sigh, brushing your fingers over it to try and clear the spot, but it only got worse, your skin getting sticky. “I’m going to have to go and change now, when I get back, you better be ready to do the sudoku instead.” 

He snickered under his breath, nodding his head and watching as you got up to leave the room, his eyes lingering on you as he went. 

Another set of eyes were lingering on you, every step you took until you had left the room, and Thomas huffed a little once you were gone, his gaze snapping over to his friend, who still had a small smile on his face, and evacuating his seat to travel towards his best friend, filled with the intentions for a not-so-subtle interrogation and questioning, he crossed the room, taking a seat in the stool you’d evacuated. 

“Well, you two looked awfully cosy.”

Newt looked up at him, raising a questioning brow, a cocky grin on his face, before he took in Thomas’ expression, and his facade fell away as he realised his best friend wasn’t joking. “Not quite my type, in case you haven’t noticed. I prefer my lovers with a little more cock.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Thomas huffed, and Newt ignored him.

“She’s exactly your type, though.” Thomas’ jaw dropped, the idea of such a thing making pure fire burst through him, anger surging in his system just at the idea of you. You irritated him, you made him want to pull his own hair out, and he’d only known you for two weeks, but in those two weeks, you were steadily growing on his nerves. “Paramedic, smart, cute, scalding kind of humour, pretty eyes. Worked for you last time, are you sure all this hatred you have for her isn’t just sexual tension?”

Thomas squirmed in his seat, and Newt waited for the laugh, for any kind of reaction, before sighing again. Thomas didn’t look up, instead, he busied himself with playing at the hem of his shirt, swallowing thickly as memories of the last paramedic the house had carried came flashing through his mind. 

“Okay, look, I’m sorry for bringing up Teresa.” Thomas finally glanced up, seeing that his friend really as sorry, and so he gave in, never being able to stay angry at him for too long. “You have to give her a chance, though. She’s sweet, she’s good at her job, and you were the one that kicked things off on the wrong foot, so-”

“I was clearly in a bad mood. She was eavesdropping and then held the things I said in the moment against me. That doesn’t count.”

“Uh, yes, it absolutely does.” Newt’s voice was monotone, and he knew not to argue with him when he got like this, because not once in over two decades of friendship had he ever won a fight when Newt took on that tone. “Listen, you two have been chafing at the bit to scream at each other once again, but I’m impartial here, an-” His face lit up, turning back to the paper in his hands, and he let out a loud cheer, writing the word ‘impartial’ down into the box, the final piece to complete his crossword puzzle, and that did earn a chuckle from Thomas. “What was I saying?”

“Nothing important.”

“Hey! Everything I say is important.” Newt grouched, flicking the pen at him, and as the main doors, scraped back open, all eyes darted up to you for just a second. 

Thomas was sitting in your seat, a steely look on his face as Newt sat beside him, folding the paper over to face the side with the sudokus on, and before you had a chance to think about how to approach the pair, you were being saved by the bell. The loud blaring of your signal call was sounding out, and everyone went quiet, waiting to see who was called from the slightly crackling speakers. 

Thomas and his team moved first, squad being called tot he scene, and before even hearing for medical assistance, you knew you’d be going along too. Newt fell from his chair, following after the crowds as they went, Brenda still with a piece of toast clamped between her teeth, breakfast being abandoned as the first call for whats was clearly going to be a long day coming in, and you followed after newt, a slight jog to your movements as you made your way to the van. 

Hoping up into the passenger side, your vehicle was the first to go, the trucks following only moments later when the gear had been grabbed and regular shoes swapped out for heavy-weight boots, neat rows of shoes matching up as the garage was emptied. Instructions were already flashing up on the dashboard, loud and clear, your fingers fumbling for the siren as the busy roads of rush hour traffic, mother's on their way for the school-run and office workers desperate to get in on time blocking the streets, and the loud wiling overhead took over. 

Smoke was visible from four blocks away, a mid-rise building of apartments curling up in flames, the acrid black clouds billowing up into the air, and Newt severed a little as he came crashing up onto the pavement. Police had already arrived, a perimeter being set u by offices and volunteers as groups gathered around, the pressure once again falling on you as your team took the spotlight. The public could be fickle, it was a problem you were familiar with, having seen so many good firemen, paramedics, doctors and all workers of the good fall, one bad story and a career would be ruined, and you could only wish that would never be you. 

Climbing between the seats and into the back of the vehicle, Newt rounded it, unlocking the doors from the back as you began to search for the equipment, still a little unfamiliar with the layout he held, half a month not giving you much time to adjust to everything inside. With a pack slung over your shoulder, blue flashing and the deeper honking of the horns on the fire trucks signalled their arrival, and you watched as each team disembarked from the vehicles. 

Swinging your pack up onto your shoulder, you chucked newt his own, hopping down from the truck and shouldering your way past civilians to reach the firemen of your house, Newt following, until you could find where they were all pulling on their masks, sitting atop their heads and ready to be pulled down, helmets in their hands as they waited for their instructions. 

Thomas was staring up at the flames, lips parted a little as he licked at them to keep them wet, the orange glow casting flickered across his face, and you could practically see the cogs whirring in his mind. 

“Okay, truck on the lower floors, search and rescue operations get everybody out to Newt, we’re not working on putting anything out until every soul in the building is clear.” 

Gally nodded, helmet on the top of his head as he adjusted his gloves, ensuring every patch of skin was covered, and despite the bickering that went on in house, the jokes and petty rivalries that ever lasted, it all seemed forgotten in the field. There was no denying that Thomas was a natural-born leader, he was undeniably the right choice, and everybody else seemed to know it too, because the pecking order became apparent when lives were at stake. 

“Brenda, I need you on equipment. I want the ladder up to the fifth floor. I’ll be sending people from the higher floors down to truck team, so be ready for that. I need you quick, because I’ll be climbing as you position it.” Thomas turned, glancing up at the building for his entry point. “There, north-face window. Already broken. That’s where I’m going in, Minho, you’re with me. Once we’re in, pull the ladder back, we’ll sweep the floors and come down.”

“Where do you want me after that?”

“Hoses, high as you can get them, truck can take them inside and we can start from the bottom, and work up, make it safe to get people out. We all clear?”

A symphony of mumbled agreements rose up, the team snapping into action, and you and Newt moved back to the truck, setting yourselves up for the task ahead. The loud whirring of the crane ladder set off, Brenda at the controls as she stared up at the building, and you stood in slight awe as you watched her work. 

This was your first call in which the squad engine equipment had really been used, your last house not having been big enough to have one, and this was your first time seeing the ladder unfold with your own eyes. Thomas was standing on the top of his truck, masking down and helmet on, staring up at the building as he waited for the ladder to move, and before it had even begun extending it’s second set, he was moving. 

Crawling up at the steep angle, it was barely a climb as it still began to raise, placing unwavering faith in his teammate as he went, moving toward the end of the ladder, the second set unfolding, and as he crawled onto it, he paused, letting it drag him closer to the building as it extended, before he was getting closer once again. His body was ducked down, the closer he drew to the broken window, the thicker the smoke got, the flames roaring out into the air, and he disappeared from sight as he slipped into the burning building. 

Minho was next, already moving up the ladder in chase of his commander, and when he disappeared inside too, your eyes snapped away. The splintering of wood, Gally kicking the locks open on the front of the building as the doorframe began to give way, the doors too hot to try and push with hands, and next up was the truck team. In the truck team went, the ladder retracting from the moment Minho had vacated the rungs, and Brenda was pulling it back down to the roof of the vehicle. 

Clint and Winston were unrolling the hoses from the truck vehicle, Chuck was screwing them into the hydrants dotted along the street, and then more of your team was running into the building. More of the team. You closed your eyes, dragging your gaze away from the building and reminding yourself not to get too attached to them all, because you weren’t even sure if at this rate you were going to make it sixth months here, never mind an entire year, or your career. With every house you moved to, it made it seem more and more likely that you just weren’t going to find your home.

Newt nudged his elbow into your arm, snapping you front he wallowing thoughts you were having to be able to look up, and the first two firemen were leaving the building, guiding a group out from the first floor, people who had been stuck there and were covered in soot and dust, eyes bloodshot and trembling violently in the shock. You took a deep breath, clearing your mind of everything that didn’t matter in this moment to be able to focus on what did, and as your thoughts cleared, you received the first person. 

Sorting the group into most needing of assistance to least, you started with the older members of the group as Newt worked with the kids, a packet of Disney-themed band-aids out to be used as he started to patch up cuts and clean the grazes, fingers wiping tears from little cheeks as he kept a bright smile, and you admired him. 

You didn’t know who the person who came before you was, and you weren’t too sure what happened to Newt or what made her leave, but you weren’t sure why she’d ever want to. If she’d been accepted by the people here, if she’d become a part of this family, you had no idea why she’d ever throw that away.

In the few weeks you’d been here, you’d already noticed that they were not only a team, but they were all connected. Every bond was special, even when they bickered and fought it was out of love, every teasing jab being made with affectionate undertones and bitten-back smiles, and you envied the way they never had to worry about someone having their back, about fitting in or not being accepted, because they had a home with one another. 

Volunteers of people on the street were volunteering to help, offering phones to the people who needed to call their families. Those who lived nearby had found blankets, bottles of water and supplies that they had brought over, the neighbourhood coming together to help one another in a crisis. Friends and family who had heard what happened, receiving desperate calls or watching the news had arrived, searching for their family members, and as you found a contact for every person coming out of the building, you made them fill out forms before being taken to the hospital. 

The squeaking of the hoses made you realise that the flames were slowly dying out, the smoke getting thicker and heavier as it was dampened, but the glass was no longer smashing and there was no more snapping of the building’s foundations to be heard. The lower floors were put out, the temperature in the air surrounding you beginning to drop down as it started to cool, the blazing inferno the building had once been was now being contained, and Gally emerged, from the doorway, large frame filling the entrance as she walked, an older lady carried in his arms as she trembled, and you moved to pull out the stretcher for her, knowing that she’d be needing to go to the hospital. 

She looked to be in her late eighties, possibly even early nineties, and as she was placed down, you smoothed her hair back, trying to offer her a soothing smile as you lifted an oxygen mask over her face. 

“I’m (Y/N), I’m going to get you all sorted out, and then we’ll take you to the hospital, okay?” 

She only nodded her head weakly, and you snatched up another form to begin filling out for her, the crowds beginning to dissipate slightly at the excitement and shock of it died down, situation being handled, and as less eyes were on you, watching you work, you felt like you could breathe a little better once again.

“Can you tell me what your name is?”

She nodded, a hand coming up to lift the mask off gently, and she coughed a little, fresh air not being as helpful to her as the pure oxygen had been, gasping slightly as she caught her breath. Her jaw dropped, lips moving to form a word, but no sound came out, and her brows furrowed slightly as she did. “Where am I?”

“You’re outside the apartment building, ma’am. There was a fire, but you're fine, it’s all just a  little disorientating.”

Just as you said those words, a loud explosion took off behind you, a rush of glass, dust and smoke racing over everyone, your eyes screwing shut tightly against the blast, and the firemen on the floor rallied once again, a gas main having burst that hadn't been turned off, and Brenda pulled on her own mask and helmet, following Gally back into the building as the flames took up again. 

She was startled, the elderly woman looking around frantically in her panic, and you took her hand, trying to calm her down, worried she may actually worry herself into a panic attack. “It’s okay, the team has it all under control, okay? They’re the very best at their jobs, you’re safe, alright?”

“Where’s that young girl gone?”

“Which young girl, ma’am?” Your brows furrowed, worry seeping into you once again, and before she could answer, there was a name being called out, louder and louder as it neared you both, before a woman who couldn't be any older than thirty appeared, looking completely and utterly frazzled, taking the older woman’s hand from yours. “Are you related to the patient?”

“This is my grandmother.”

“Great, okay, can you fill out a form for me while I do a check over?” You passed her the pen and the paper as she agreed, and she got to work on filling it out, letting you do your job as you lifted the ramp on the back of the ambulance down, unhooking it and securing it to the floor. Carefully as you worked, you secured her down, helping her to lay back in the pillows as you strapped her in, before rolling the trolley up and into the back. Fastening it down tightly, you set about, lifting a pressure cuff from the shelf and placing it along her arm, the beeping on the machine starting steadily as her granddaughter sat along the cushioned seats, still scribbling on the paper. “Ma’am, you said there was someone else with you, can you tell me who?”

“The young girl with the red curls.”

“Where was she?” You questioned, moving her from a portable oxygen tank to the one equipped with the truck, a steadier source of air that she wouldn't have to hold onto. 

“In my apartment. She was right there with me, a-”

“No, nana, nobody else was there.” You turned to look at the auburn-haired woman behind you, raising a questioning brow as she looked at you. “She has dementia, she’s thinking of me. My hair was more of a fiery colour when I was young, and very curly. She’s just confused.”

“No! No, there was a young girl with red hair!”

You nodded, stepping away from the pair for just a moment before reaching the front of the ambulance, wiring it to the right frequency and lifting it from its holder. “Any member of the team, this is the ambo’, is there anyone left inside now?”

“All upper floors are clear, truck is out, we’re working down on a final sweep now.” Thomas’ voice was filled with static as it came over the airwaves, and you gave a small nod to the woman. 

“See, nana? There’s nobody left in there.”

You moved back over, watching as the report you’d found had the exact opposite effect, the woman only seeming to become more on edge and upset, trying to sit up in the stretcher as she took the mask off completely. She coughed, violently at the sudden actions, and as both you and her granddaughter moved to try and lay her back down gently, she pushed your hands away, fighting to get free. 

“She’s in there! I know she is! The girl with the red hair!”

She was on the verge of a panic attack now, and you helped her put the mask back on, her relative taking over with breathing exercises, and the gnawing in your gut just wouldn’t go away. “Which floor does she live on? Which apartment?”

“She lives on the third floor, apartment fifteen.”

You hopped out of the truck, shielding your eyes with one hand as you stared up at the flaming wreckage of the building, asking Newt take over for you, before you were rounding the vehicle to the front once again. “Team, this is the ambo’ again, are you absolutely certain? Floor three, apartment fifteen, I have an elderly woman insisting that someone is inside.”

“I’m on the third floor now, I’m checking.” He left the mic open on his shoulder, just so ensure that you could hear everything that was going on, to reassure the panicking elderly woman you had hyperventilating in the back of the truck. His voice called out, signalling that it was the fire department and asking whether there was anyone left, telling you as he moved, asking four times, and silence coming back with each and every one. “There’s nobody here, I’ve checked, there’s no call out, and the smoke is getting thicker. It’s all clear, okay?”

“All clear, got it.” You clicked the radio off, turning to look at her, and there was a frazzled look in her eyes, shaking her head as she mumbled to herself. 

You’d seen it before, working in medicine did that to you, but it was still shocking every time you witnessed it, watching the fog suddenly clear, even if only for moments, watching the dazed kind of confusion clear on a persons face into something more determined and confident, as though a whole new spirit had taken over the body and mind. “No, it's not.”

“I’m sorry?”

“My nurse, she went to the kitchen, she was getting my medications. Our rota changed a month ago, she comes on Sunday’s instead of Saturday’s now. She’s trapped under the rubble, the roof fell through.” Her words were spoken clearly, no trace of her being lost or under the influence of her past, but instead, for just a few seconds, she was completely present in the moment. 

Hopping down out of the truck, you grabbed at your tatty rucksack, the medkit inside fresh, the good luck charm you carried everywhere, only slung over one shoulder as you made it to the door, Thomas’ figure emerging from inside as he stripped his helmet and mask from over his head. 

“There is someone still inside!”

He turned to look at you, raising a brow, a scowl on his lips. “I cleared the room, I called out, there’s nobody in there. I know how to do my damn job, alright?”

“No, she wouldn’t have replied. The woman’s mind cleared, just for a second, but her nurse is trapped under debris where the roof collapsed in.” He paused for a second, brows furrowing as he tried to process your words, before shaking his head, an incredulous laugh on his lips. 

“You’re taking the word of a woman with dementia?” You nodded, string up at him expectantly. “How do you know she isn’t still confused? Huh?”

You stared at him for a second longer, heart racing in your chest as you thought about the woman who was still trapped inside, before shaking your head at him. “Because I’m a paramedic, Thomas, and I know when her mind clears. I know how to do my job.”

You didn’t give him a chance to retort, shoulder past him and slinging an arm over your face, eyes stinging from the second that you were carried into the building, feet pounding against the floor. Only ten steps in, and the temperature was so hot sweat was lining your brows, your throat was stinging despite the arm you were breathing against, smoke seeping in to burn at your lungs, and tears were lining your eyes as you tried to see where to go. The lobby was glowing a dull orange, but the flames were burning bright, and you winced a little further.

Stairs just ahead of you, still standing string, and you headed straight for them. You almost put your hand down on the railing, flinching at the metal that was almost glowing from the heat it was under, and you snatched it back, skin singed a little just from hovering over it, and you regretted your decision only a little, fear crawling in at the back of your mind to combat the adrenaline, and you quashed it down. 

Only three floors, six sets of stairs, and you were there, fighting your way through a corridor you could barely see, squinting to find the numbers on the door. You were certain you’d found apartment fifteen, sure enough that you’d bet your life on it, and you were, because if you had the wrong one, you certainly didn’t have time to keep looking. 

The room was destroyed, flames crawling up the walls, and the tears in your eyes were now leaking down your cheeks, the air becoming too thick to breathe, and you were running on limited time. You let out a little sigh of relief as you spotted the pile of rubble, assessing it carefully, and catching sight of a hand that wouldn’t be able unless you were looking for such a sign in the right place, dropping to your knees beside it. Your fingertips burned as you touched the hot mess of stone and drywall, pulling it away, your nails ripping with each catch on jagged rocks, and you hissed a little under your breath. You could see her, leaning in close enough to press your fingers to her neck, and you let out something between a relieved laugh and a sigh as you felt a pulse under her skin, albeit incredibly weak. 

A hand landed on your shoulder, pulling you back, before a mask was being dropped down onto you, an oxygen tank beside it. You snatched it up, barley bothering to adjust it before you were pulling it on, taking deep and gasping breaths of the fresh oxygen, the pounding in your head making you squeeze your eyes shut, the rush of fresh O2 in your blood making your head spin and ache for a moment a sit rushed to your brain once again.

Her face was revealed, the fireman beside you having better luck with the debris, gloves making it a burn and pain-free experience, and when there was enough cleared, hands hooked under the woman’s arms, pulling the rest of her body free. Dropping your rucksack, you tore it open, zip running rapidly along its track and you searched for the cloths, a water bottle following it, and you soaked the rag, ringing it out quickly, before laying it over her face. Lifting her up and into his arms, the man waited only a second for you to bundle the oxygen tank and medkit into your arms, following behind him as he began to guide you back out of the building. 

The floors were creaking and giving way, shaking under your feet as you ran after him, down stairs that were beginning to grow weak, the metal bannisters now a bright orange and you flinched away from them, hissing slightly as your jacket brushed against them, zip getting hot just from the brief touch and burning across your hand. 

Hoses at the main entrance, spraying down everything they could reach without entering the collapsing residence once again, and as you stumbled out into the light once again, Newt was already waiting with the stretcher to receive her. She was placed down, dark red curls on her head that had fallen out, blood spilling from a cut along her head and she was matted with dust that almost made her unrecognisable, but she was wearing a distinctive nurses uniform, and pride welled up within you form the second her heart beat on the monitor, Newt fixing a cuff on her arm, before wheeling her to the ambulance again.  

Following after him, you noted that the elderly woman had moved to sitting beside her granddaughter, clearing the stretcher for the nurse, and before you could board the vehicle or help Newt load the stretcher, a large hand was wrapping around your upper arm, jerking you roughly and spinning you to face the one who’s grabbed you. 

Helmet dropping to the floor and mask torn off over his head, you were met with a face that he'd more rage than you’d ever seen him have for you before. His nostrils flared, jaw clenched so tight you worried his teeth would shatter, and his eyes were dark with the kind of anger that genuinely scared you. 

“Are you fucking insane?” You took your own mask off, everything under your arm dropping to the floor, the tank clanging loudly as it hit the pavement, but you didn’t even flinch, staring right back at him. “You are reckless, that was so stupid, you have no concern for the other lives you just put at risk!”

“We just saved a life!”

“And what if we hadn't, huh? What if you ran in there, and I had to follow you, and two people died, instead?” He made a valid point, but he was failing to see the fact that you’d save a person’s life, someone who must’ve fallen unconscious from smoke inhalation, trapped under rubble and thinking they were going to die, and they were saved. “You have no regard for the rest of the damn team, yo-”

“You just saved a life, Thomas.” His jaw snapped shut, confusion stitched into the anger on his face as he stared at you, head tipping to the side just a little, gaze never leaving yours as he continued to tower over you, shadowing you from the building, shoulders rising and falling quickly as his chest heaved for breath, adrenaline stile acing through him. “She thought she’d been left behind, and that she’d die. You just saved her. She gets to live because of you.”

He was breathless, everything seeming to halt for a long second, before he was taking in a shaky breath, letting it go as a long sigh, and his shoulders slumped a little as he did his best to quell his rage. Your heart was racing in your chest, and his head ducked down, for a moment, maybe two, before he was looking back up. 

“Maybe you should think about that the next time you want to act like a dick, for no reason.”

You heard a sigh behind you, knowing Newt had been waiting with bated breath for the calling of a truce between you both, but you didn’t back down easy, you didn’t cave just because a big and tall man got angry, and Thomas looked angry once again. “It was selfish. Even if you don’t care about the rest of us, you almost killed yourself.”

“I thought this was a team, if me taking a risk is such a burden to you, don’t follow me next time.”

Shoving the mask into his chest, he barely had time to grab it, before you swiping down to scoop up your bag, and turning your back on him to meet Newt. He gave you a look, shaking his head slightly, and you could read it perfectly, knowing that it had been the perfect chance to try and patch things up with Thomas, but you didn’t regret your actions because the woman who was still unconscious with a steadily rising heartbeat beside you was alive thanks to you, and so as he took a seat in the front and started up the vehicle for the hospital, you took over caring for her, and pushed it all away. 

Maybe it had been selfish, and maybe everyone else would see it the same way Thomas did, but it was clear this wasn’t going to be your permanent home anyway, and so it made it a little harder to choke back the anxiety as you realised you wouldn't have to deal with it for much longer anyway. As soon as a new transfer came up, you’d be recommended for it, you were sure.

It was silent for a long time, all the way to the hospital, the tension in the vehicle thick as you knew Newt was mad at you, the radio having been suspiciously quiet, and on the return from calls, it was normally buzzing between all trucks and vans with chatter and congratulations, but you had no doubt that due to your actions, it had gone silent. 

You checked in the elderly woman, who’s mind had slipped away from you once again, and the nurse, who was in and out of surfacing, the doctors taking over as the two of you were left alone, and Newt wandered away toward the vending machines. You made you way back to the truck, the pains and aches of the day beginning to set in, and you realised he’d taken the keys with him, leaving you to lean against it. Placing your bag on the hood, you pulled out a disinfectant wipe, using your teeth to tear it open, wiping the blood from torn nails and wincing a little at the skin, before trying to wipe your face and arms down too. 

You had acquired a lot more subtle grazes and burns than you’d realised, but each spit flared up in pain when the wipes moved over them, making sure you wouldn’t get an infection, and it was as you were applying burn cream in the reflection of the window that Newt finally approached you again. 

Turning to face him, his lips were set in a thin line, and you frowned, knowing just how much you had disappointed him, but still trying to be strong, swallowing thickly on a dry throat and putting the cream away, zipping up your pack and barging it onto your shoulder, turning to face him for the verbal beat down. 

“You scared the hell out of me, y’know.” You sighed, arms wrapping around yourself a little, because when someone was shouting at you, you could hand that, but the puppy-dog eyes he was fixing you with now and the wounded tone of his voice was a crippling attack. “Didn’t expect to see my partner running into a burning building alone.”

“There was someone in there and I know you’re mad at me, bu-”

“I think you did the right thing.” It was your turn to be speechless, caught off-guard by him agreeing with you, and he chuckled a little at the startled look on your face. “I agree with you, alright? It’s just terrifying. I know Thomas isn’t easy to get along with, you shoulda’ seen the rivalry he and Gally had for years, but forgive him for getting mad, alright? He’s got a big heart, but he’s been hurt a lot, and he locks it up pretty tight. He cares about his team.”

“I don’t think that curtesy extends as far as me.”

“Just give him a chance, he’ll come around.” Newt offered you a water bottle, and a candy bar, both from the vending machine in the hospital halls, and you unscrewed the lid, his eyes on you in a scrutinising manner as he watched you take a sip instead of replying, and you didn’t like that look, somehow feeling like he was staring right into your soul. “You’re going to transfer out again, aren’t you?”

“We both know I don’t fit in here, Newt.”

“Bullshit!” You now knew what real anger looked like on your blonde colleagues face, the look flashing over his features as fast as lightning, and you tore your gaze away, busying yourself with your drink. 

“Another transfer will come up in a few weeks, and we both know that Thomas won’t hesitate to sign the forms to get me gone.”

“One year.” You frowned, turning to look at him, your face painted with puzzlement, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “You want the harsh truth?”

“Not rea-”

“You skip between houses without ever giving them a chance. Maybe some bad shit happened, maybe you just don’t fit in, but you’re not trying hard enough. Plant some roots, because I happen to think that if you just give us a chance, you’ll be a perfect fit for us.” You huffed out, lips rolling as you contained what you wanted to say, not used to someone speaking to you with such a crass attitude. “Give it a year, stick around here for a year, and if you still don’t think you belong here, then I’ll write you a personal letter of recommendation myself, and I’ll get both Thomas and Gally to sign it.”

“I’ve been at other houses longer than that and still not found my home, Newt.”

“You’ve never found us before.” Silence took over between you both, and he licked at his lower lip, glancing away from you for a second, eyes flickering over the car park, before looking back. “I like you, I think we make good partners, I want you to stick around. I think you should give us a go, even if it is awkward for a while. Just brave it through, for once. I think you’re running away from houses and refusing to settle because you’re scared, not because you can’t.”

Your breathing hitched in your throat, and you sighed, shaking your head at him, words coming out as a whisper; “That was mean.”

“Yeah, well, it was the truth and you needed or hear it. What are friends for?”

You glanced up, fiddling a little with the snack you held, the plastic crinkling, anything to break the tense silence “You’re my friend, then?”

“Of course, I am.” He cracked a grin at this, nodding his head, and stepping in close enough to nudge you, with a roll of his eyes. “Now, get in the truck, eat your cereal bar, and think about what I said. We have the team to get back to.”

[angelz-dust]

masters of none - part 2 (jason todd x reader)

summary: thank you all for taking interest in this! i’ve gotten wonderful feedback and helpful criticism that i appreciate so much. i’ve decided to give you guys some more jason since i’m sure you all want to see him lol. i have a plan tho so bear with me. we are currently laying the foundation.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: alcohol. food mention. anxious reader.

part 1 /// part 3

ungodly hour

when you decide you like yourself. when you decide you need someone. when you don't have to think about it.

...

you felt an uncomfortable churning in your stomach as your bare back pressed against the cold leather seats of the limousine. you laced your fingers and rested your hand over your middle, hoping the subtle self soothing would calm your nerves. it wasn't everyday you went to a wayne gala after all. your silence and clear discomfort was enough to stir a reaction from misha, one of your fellow producers and stylist.

"you doing alright over there?" she asked after applying her lipgloss, carefully wiping the corners of her mouth.

"chillin'," you responded with a little shrug.

that was a lie. you felt like you were going to shit and projectile vomit simultaneously. however, it was freezing in the limo so you were definitely chilling in some sense of the word. your navy off the shoulder dress made of tulle embroidered with stars but it wasn't really warm. your shoulders were exposed and so was a good portion of your arms. you didn't know how misha was holding up in her dress. her entire back and arms had to protection from the cold at all.

"you know this isn't a big deal, right?" she reminded you gently. she must have picked up on your discomfort. "we'll go in, i'll network with the old money of gotham, and we'll leave."

"yeah but where does that leave me?" you asked her, shifting in your seat and almost slipping out of it. the tulle didn't provide much traction against the slippery leather. "i'm your plus one, remember? i serve no purpose."

"i thought that was the selling point," she pouted before making an attempt to cheer you up. "you don't serve no purpose. you're there to make me look good. my arm candy."

"i believe people may see it as the other way around," you informed her with a sigh. "but... fine. as long as you don't leave me alone."

"and let somebody snatch up my trophy wife?" misha scoffed, causing you to exhale through your nose with a barely visible smile. "i'm not letting you out of my sight!"

the limousine slowly stopped in front of the venue, your door lined up with the red carpet that had been laid out for the guests. it was time. you glanced around, briefly considering your escape plan just as the driver had opened the door, snuffing our any idiotic thoughts you had about jumping out through the sunroof or shimming out of the opposing window, away from the prying eyes of the paparazzi.

the lights. bright, blinding white lights flashing on and off. if you weren't acutely aware of where you were at the moment, you would've thought some kid had an essay due at midnight with the furious clicking and shuttering that filled your ears. misha was the first to step out, waiting for you to maneuver your way out.

the golden light emanating from the venue, paired with the harsh lights from the press honestly made misha look even more beautiful than normal. here you were, completely out of your element, standing next to a goddess in lilac chiffon. you looked up at her, noticing how the soft edges of her face contrasted with the sharp ones of her collarbone and the plunging v neck only accentuated that. the person you were with wasn't your friend, or your label mate. no, you were with gotham's resident fashionista and trendsetter, misha matsuri. if anyone was the arm candy, it was her.

you were brought out of your trance when she linked arms with you and began leading out down the red carpet. you honestly couldn't make out what the paparazzi were shouting at you both, aside from the occasional scream of your names. normally, you'd be a little more lively but this was a very important and formal event. it wasn't like the times where you went to award shows and you could feed off of the other seven's excited energy. you weren't surrounded by fans or people who were interested in hearing about you. you were here for misha and only her. you liked that aspect of it, but it was still uncharted territory for you.

"misha! can you tell us more about your foundation?" a reporter asked, pushing through the eager paparazzi who wanted to monopolize on their close contact with you both.

"of course," misha smiled, flipping her hair out of her face. "to cut to the chase, m squared is making fashion accessible to everyone. we've have homeless people on the streets who have no access to clothes that are befitting of the harsh weather they endure on a daily basis. we have low income families who can't afford to give their children new clothing for the school year. there are people who can't afford a nice shirt and slacks for their job interviews. our goal is the provide these people with what they need. access to clothing is a necessity, not a luxury."

you listened to misha and felt pride swell up in your chest, replacing the nausea that had plagued you previously. you were quickly reminded of why you came with her in the first place. she was trying to do something wonderful for the community and aid others in doing the same.

misha left it at that, dragging you along once she had said what she wanted. "see? that wasn't so bad."

"we haven't even crossed the threshold, mother teresa," you reminded her, jerking your chin in the direction of the large double doors behind held open for you both. misha flashed her invitation to the bouncer, quickly being let in.

the two of you walked in and you were stunned at the venue. everyone was dressed to the nines. you recognized many politicians, socialites, and some celebrities as you worked your way to the main ballroom. you felt your eyes widened as you saw bruce wayne out socializing with his guests. you had seen him on the news and in magazines but never in person. he was much taller than you expected. and closer in proximity to you. how was that happening?

"miss matsuri, miss l/n," he had greeted you both, almost surprising you. you weren't sure if misha brought you to him or he brought himself to you. maybe they met halfway while you were in shock. either way, he was here now. "it's wonderful to finally meet you both."

both? he knew you? bruce wayne knew you?

"thank you for your invitation, mr. wayne," misha smiled politely as they gently shook hands. he turned to you, offering you the same courtesy. you felt your brain lag out before you snapped out of it, taking his hand with nervous laughter. "it was a pleasant surprise."

"anyone that has the best interest of gotham in mind deserves recognition and support for their efforts. and please, bruce is fine."

you zoned out as bruce gave you the run down on the place. your eyes wandered around, occasionally lining up with a location bruce was telling you about. you were brought out of your boredom when you heard a loud crash off in the distance. you saw a group of four boys all surrounding a broken champagne bottle like it was a crime scene. you saw a twinge of annoyance on bruce's face before he collected himself.

"please excuse me. i need to reprimand my sons," he said apologetically, making his way over to the group who paled at his presence, except for the youngest one.

"father, this was todd's doing," you heard him say with a frown. "he kept antagonizing drake and they knocked over the champagne. grayson and i were merely bystanders."

"you are such a snitch," the apparent perpetrator sneered.

"here, come on," misha laughed, dragging you away from the scene. "i have old men to seduce for their money."

your gaze lingered on the group while you were dragged away. you knew that none of them were related by blood, expect for the little one and bruce, but handsome clearly ran in the wayne family. there must be something in that expensive tap water.

you spent majority of the night helping misha on her quest for benefactors. she wasn't made of money and she had made it clear that she didn't want money coming from the community. she wanted to 'milk the rich bastards of gotham for everything they've got' or something to that effect.

not actively participating in these conversations required you to try and keep yourself occupied. you started counting the chandeliers (there were five), thinking about one of the tracks you were working on (the chorus was lacking something and you didn't know what it was), and at one point you tried listening in on other conversations, hoping to hear about something juicy (you didn't).

how many glasses of champagne have you had now? three? four? you lost count. you realized you should've been counting them instead of the chandeliers. either way, you were definitely starting to feel the effects of that err. or was that the sensation of being watched?

misha had left to use the bathroom, leaving you by the fancy finger foods. as you ate the bacon wrapped enoki mushrooms, you could feel the presence of another person. you swallowed your food with a helpful swig of champagne before turning to the person who had made a claim on one of the strawberries with chocolate drizzle.

you watched as his lips parted, carefully taking a bite of the potentially messy dessert, his gaze directed at you. it was the handsome wayne boy from earlier. the champagne murderer was what you were calling him in your head. he was very tall and much better looking up close. his eyes were very striking, too. from the look in those eyes, you quickly figured out what he was trying to do.

"she's in the bathroom," you informed him, his brow perking silently as he chewed the berry, licking his lips of any lingering juice. he had this look on his face. confusion? but then you saw him fighting back a smile as he looked down at the table before looking over at you again.

"who?" he asked, his tone and look in his eyes awfully playful. you confused his flirty tone for coyness.

"don't play dumb," you laughed. normally, you wouldn't help out guys when it came to getting on misha's good side but you were making an exception for the dangerously handsome champagne murderer. "i can't give you her number. she hates that. but if it's any consolation, you're definitely her type."

"well, what about you?" he asked after taking a short pause to digest your words. "am i your type?"

you scoffed. the gall of this man. 

"am i the backup plan or something?"

"no," he said, his lips pursed slightly as he shook his head. "would you like to be?"

"there's not going to be a plan to back up if you're trying it with me," you told him seriously. what a dick. it was to be expected, though. he was bruce wayne's son after all. of course he was a player.

"i never said i was trying anything. you're the one who keeps assuming things," he reminded you with a little grin. "had it occurred to you that i came over here, simply wanting to indulge myself in these divine strawberries?"

and he did just that, looking you in the eye as he took a slow bite of his new berry, raising a brow as you watched him. "what?"

"are they as divine as you anticipated?" you asked, not being able to resist some teasing.

"absolutely."

there was something about the way he answered you. was he flirting? were you flirting? the champagne was making it hard to read the situation. there was no way someone as gorgeous as him would spare you a glance and even if he did, you didn't have the time or energy for romance.

"alright. i'll be honest. i came over here because, well, i'm a fan," he told you, turning his body to fully face you now.

"oh," you nodded, not sure what to say next. when people led with that, it always felt awkward. were you supposed to say thank you, or was that weird?

"yeah. i've always wanted to meet batman."

you visibly paused, turning to face him as you watched him give you a lopsided grin. you breathed out a laugh, shaking your head. so he was a fan. he was referencing something you tweeted a few days ago. someone had jokingly made a conspiracy thread, claiming at you and the rest of cloud 9 were the vigilantes of gotham. they had theorized that you were orphan, to which you rebuffed, saying that you were clearly batman and they were blind not to see the resemblance.

"shhh, it's a secret," you whispered, putting your index finger to your lips. 

"ohhh. right, right. my mistake," he whispered back with a firm nod. "how do you juggle your two jobs, though? seems difficult."

"well, if you must know, batman is actually a robot that i control from the comfort of my couch. very advanced technology. you wouldn't get it," you joked, making jason laugh out loud. was it really that funny or were you missing something?

"funny," he answered unintentionally. or you thought. could he read minds? "i'm jason."

"jason," you tested out his name on your tongue. jason. you liked it. "wayne?"

"todd," he quickly corrected you, seeming very adamant that you understood that.

"jason todd," you said again, almost addicted to how it sounded coming from your lips. jason. jason todd.

"and you're y/n l/n," he said, almost as if he were telling you, reminding you that was your name. you weren't sure if you liked saying his name or hearing him say yours more. before you could even register what was happening, he took your hand and gave it a soft kiss.

you locked eyes with him as he looked up at you with his lips, soft as silk, pressed against your knuckles. you could see something in them. he looked... unsure. afraid of his actions. you found yourself subconsciously mirroring his expression in an effort to try and identify it.

"it's a pleasure to finally meet you," you said breathlessly, noting how his demeanor changing a little now that the two of you searched each other's souls for a few seconds. he rubbed his thumb over your fingers before letting go.

"pleasure's all mine," he said, his voice softer now. he was the one who broke eye contact, looking around absentmindedly. he grabbed another strawberry, about to eat it when you went to carefully grab it from him. his lips grazed your fingers as he loosened his lazy grip, letting you take it from him.

"you can't hog them all," you informed him, trying it out for yourself. they were divine, just as jason described them to be. you let out a satisfied hum, which seemed to grab his attention.

"things always taste better when they belong to someone else, right?" he teased and you couldn't help but wonder if there was a double meaning to that.

"you don't own the strawberries, jason.”

"no, but i owned the one that's in your mouth, y/n."

you were sure he was saying these things on purpose now. you just smiled, softly sucking the juice off the pads of your fingers. seldom did the opportunity to harmlessly flirt with someone present itself so you wanted to enjoy it while you could. during your back and forth, you could feel yourself holding back, despite this. you felt jason was doing the same. you were both constantly thinking about what you were doing and actively fighting against it but not doing a very good job at it. it was odd, but you felt like you and jason had this unspoken, mutual understanding for what you were doing in that moment.

still, you couldn't let yourself fall into that trap. you knew when this was all over, that was it. nothing would come from it and you were fine with that. besides, he was a fan, right? it wasn’t right to be with a fan. there was a power imbalance there that you weren’t looking to exploit.

"sorry to interrupt, but my wife and i have an early morning tomorrow," you heard misha say from behind you as she wrapped her long, slender arms around you. saved by the bell.

"wife?" he parroted, giving you a curious look.

"yeah, for like, two more hours," you reminded her as you glanced at your watch.

"and you have to respect the sanctity of our fake marriage until then. just like cinderella," misha told you, putting her arm around your shoulder now.

"i don't think that's how the story goes," you laughed, giving jason an apologetic look afterwards. "i should get going."

"i understand. i'd hate to be branded a home wrecker," he joked and misha gave him a look.

"oh, i'm sure you would," she smirked, tugging you along. "goodbye, thief."

"bye jason," you called to him, waving goodbye, receiving a silent wave and smile in return.

"what was that about?" misha nudged you playfully, giving you a suggestive look as she led you through the maze of bodies blocking your escape route.

"i'll tell you on the way home."

you exited the venue from the back, where your limo was waiting for you. what started out as a scary social event ended up being surprisingly fun. you learned a thing or two from watching misha network and that conversation with jason was entertaining, to say the least. you wondered if you’d ever run into him again.

probably not.

[engaged19times]

RHONJ Recrap - season 11, ep 1 - C U Next Tuesday!

Greetings fellow prostitution whores and welcome to my new weekly recrap of American institution The Real Housewives of New Jersey! Before I jump in I’ll introduce myself by saying that I’m a housewives super fan (I even watched DC, an experience I wouldn’t wish on my worst sister-in-law), an underemployed comedy writer (I can’t define “napalm” either, Lauren Manzo), and nothing makes me happier than to watch 6 bedazzled hypocrites in Cheesecake Factory mansions argue etiquette and loyalty between physical altercations in the world renowned cultural hub of Paterson, New Jersey. I know essay recaps are a bit of a relic but I am fond of ye olde written word so please enjoy this blast from the past, you scumbags!

We open without fanfare mid-scene to red-eyed Jackie and dead-eyed Teresa sitting in Margaret’s partially finished, wallpaper smothered home. We get the Bad Girls Club black-and-white flashes but unlike in Beverly Hills we’re not flashing to “three months earlier” but instead to “three days earlier.” It might take women of less gumption precious time to build to a production-halting confrontation but it only takes these agents of chaos half a week to get the meatball rolling.

Let’s back up a little to the ominous “three days prior” and catch up with our hot girls. It’s Jackie’s giant hot husband’s 46th birthday so she’s throwing him a party under a tent in the parking lot of a Greek restaurant. We learn that Teresa and Joe’s father has sadly passed in the offseason and Dolores Thee Stallion and Margaret have both had full cosmetic overhauls - Dolores with a second butt enhancement that left her with a giant hip scar rivaled only by Sally from Nightmare before Christmas and Margaret with a boob lift and apparent nipple sharpening (is that a procedure?) that she advertises in a blush silk top with no bra. Never one to be outdone at a parking lot birthday party, Joe Gorga arrives with his storyline - I mean wife, Melissa - also smuggling raisins under a skin tight children’s white T-shirt. Nipples are trending, ladies!

The Nightmare Before Christmas.

A beautiful boob lift.

Tarzan’s headlights.

Margaret’s hot employee Lexi and Teresa’s hot realtor Michelle (both of whom are official friends-of this year), as well as iconic social wrecking ball and Aydin Center for Plastic Surgery mascot Jennifer all saunter in for car park cocktails at this 3D nipple fashion show and as the night devolves we see the cast getting truly shit-housed on shots when out of nowhere storyline sniper Teresa drops the bomb that she heard sexy birthday Bigfoot Evan is cheating on Jackie... more specifically, that he “does stuff” at the gym but mysteriously can’t remember any details or where she heard this head-scratching accusation that draws as many gasps as it does “huhs?” Honest straight people question: do y’all hook up at gyms? And if so, where? Are there co-ed saunas now? Also can one of you explain the allure of Mike and Molly to me? Moving on. Most shocking was that the Perez Hilton of North Jersey doesn’t just drop this wild accusation once, she gleefully skips through this asphalt soiree like a goddamn town crier, addressing everyone she passes like Belle through the town square.

The next day the hard partying crew of Jersey Shore: All Grown Up recovers from their throbbing hangovers and we see cool mom Melissa traipsing through her particle board mausoleum in see-through sweatpants with a visible thong in front of her kids’ friends (you girls keep me young!), Marge Sr. driving a blue Mini Cooper with eyelashes on the headlights (which I assume are like the spinning rims of the Jersey Grandma community), and a flashback of Margaret’s Joe puking next to a tree (relatable, my dude).

Marge Sr.: Fully Loaded.

You girls keep me young!

Over at Jennifer’s palatial child farm we learn that her parents fight so much these days that she moved her father (Carl from Up!) to her multi-generational compound which has only angered her mother more.

Jennifer’s sweet dad.

We then find out Dolores’s dry boyfriend David with whom she shares the burning passion of a melting ice sculpture now lives with her bulging slab of a son Frankie Jr. in the house he and Delores built together but Dolores curiously still lives with her also bulging but slightly slimey ex Frank Sr. in her original house, a near Braunwyn-level web of over-explained but still vague relationship fuckery of which none of them seem on the same page. Dolores hid her surgery from David until the day before, David still works constantly so she hangs out with her ex all the time, and I can’t help but think that we aren’t getting the full story on whatever the fuck is happening under these two roofs. Are they brother-husbands? Is Frank Sr. piping both of them? Can Frankie Jr. DM me his nudes please? The only one being straight-forward in these duel households of confusion is Dolores’s dog who is simply named Dog and I honestly appreciate his refreshing transparency.

Dog Catania, king of transparency.

Finally, Jackie calls Teresa to organize an infamous Jersey sit-down because she somehow got wind of the out-of-thin-air accusations that Teresa all but presented with a bull horn and a PowerPoint at Evan’s parking lot social. They decide to meet at Margaret’s partially constructed house/ wallpaper showroom because it’s neutral territory to hash things out in a relaxing landscape of ladders and contrasting patterns and the tension is so thick you could cut it with one of Margaret’s newly renovated nipples.

Jackie pleads with Tre to clear her husband’s good name and Tre enters a baffling Kelly-Anne Conway bullshit loop which includes such hits as “woman to woman, if I heard this you wouldn’t want me to tell you?” (a reasonable point which is actually working against Teresa because it’s the opposite of what she did), then explaining to Margaret the immediately contradictory “I didn’t tell her and it’s not like I told Evan, I told my friends” (which is an explanation of what she obviously did wrong but said in the tone of a defense), the wacky last ditch nonsense deflection “Alright let me tell you the reason why I did it. This year, now, you know I’m single now. I’ve been approached by a lot of married men that think that it’s OK to have affairs,” and finally just saying fuck it and rewriting history “I did not spread a rumor, I heard a rumor.”

The truth is that Teresa was retaliating for a cheating rumor Jackie entertained about her last year but neither can be held to such unreasonable expectations like addressing reality or admitting fault which is actually ideal because if I cared to see emotionally mature community leaders converse thoughtfully I’d watch Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday not this unhinged turnpike circus.

Jackie’s rival won’t budge so she chooses the nuclear option, looks the reigning matriarch of Paterson in her vacant eyes, and declares confidently “I heard Gia snorts coke in the bathroom at parties” which stopped time on Earth as far as I’m concerned. Is this wild accusation true? Probably not. Was this retaliatory tit equal to the offending tat? Debatable. Do I blame Teresa for immediately whipping into a tailspin and storming out screaming the C-word (no Kathy Wakile, not “canoli kit”) at Jackie no less than 80 times? Girl, no I do not. Jackie has since clarified (backtracked?) that this was an analogy not a rumor she heard which... OK, and whether or not either of the atomic bombs dropped in this breakneck premiere were true, I’m excited to watch our Paterson superstars battle it out for another batshit season!

Esteemed poet laureat of Paterson, NJ.

Join me and my own rock hard nipples next week to recrap a girls trip to Lake George, more developments in the case of Jackie vs Teresa: Jersey Crime Story, and hopefully another cameo by breakout superstar Dog Catania! Please share this recrap with the prostitution whores in your life if you enjoy and follow me on Tumblr (engaged19times), Insta (@engagednineteentimes), and Twitter (@_engaged19times)! I’m recrapping weekly but I don’t get screeners (yet) and it takes me a few days to catch up so please be patient!

XO engaged19times

[jerepars]

Ape Dos Mil Extended Chapter Notes

6 / 9 Pure Love

Hyperlinks appear in blue (underlined on mobile and the dashboard). The story is posted here. Direct link to this chapter is here.

As it turned out, when James had to go dark for 48 hours, it pushed Teresa deeper into the cave. James sat in a hotel room on the other side of town while Teresa bought a hotel. James looked into Isidro Navarro while Teresa got ready to make her pitch to the guy and expand her business to Europe. While she dined, James was on the wrong side of the day.

When I first introduced lyrics from Glassjaw’s “Ape Dos Mil” into the story in the second chapter, I mentioned it was the lyrics and mood of the song overall that inspired the story. This paragraph is borrows from the main verse of the song:

Yeah, it's over You can bet in mid October I will still be ranting 'bout most early May Yeah, he's a winner He's a goddamn sinner While he dines I'm on the wrong side of the day And I said, "I don't understand why I'm fumbling after" You're the reason i cannot forget this season Or the letter when you first referred to it

She was going to go her own way, make all the deals, gain more more more. James had to be down for that not just because he was in love with her, but because he had a higher purpose—thanks to the universe—when it came to Teresa. But James wished she didn’t go around ignoring all the signs of danger. He wished she didn’t walk around like nobody was going to break her heart or like she could elude death. Hadn’t she learned, losing Tony, that the #1 special on the menu in the underworld was breaking hearts, one way or another?

There’s a Mac Miller song, “My Favorite Part” with these words: You walk around so clueless to it all. Like nobody gonna break your heart. It'll be alright babe, see, me, I got you covered. I'm gon' be your lover, you might be the one.

So the line in the paragraph about queenpin Teresa walking around like nobody was going to break her heart is a reference to that. There’s also a line in the song that goes, The universe couldn’t keep us apart--why would it even try? Very soulmate-y but different in that for Jeresa it is because of the universe they are soulmates.

But nothing moved Teresa. She didn’t let up. She wasn’t going to confess to using, since she was going out of her way to hide it. She didn’t own up to the responsibility of being targeted and putting them all in danger unnecessarily because she had to have Europe.

The first line of this paragraph is sort of a reference to the album Still Nothing Moves You by Ceremony.

Teresa was screaming, to feel the pressure in her throat, to drown out the noise in her head, when she took to the neatly pressed blazers along the back of the closet. She ripped as many off the hangers as would go, letting the different shades of white pool at her feet on the carpet. The jewelry station was next—earrings, necklaces, and rings ripping into her hands before she decided there were too many for a few handfuls, picking up the entire velvet drawer insert tray and dumping it to the side, fully enraged.

When she swung her arm around, Teresa caught a glimpse of herself in the full-length three-way mirror. Her breath caught in her throat. She saw herself, and there, over her shoulder, was herself—the girl from Culiacán.

“You forgot the most important thing is survival. You have to get out of here,” the girl pleaded. “You have to go. Run.”

So, uh, I changed a lot from canon. In 5x07, the scene cuts soon after Teresa yells “Fuuuuuuuuuck!” and throws her phone. In the next scene of Teresa, she’s in the sitting area of her room doing coke, and when she looks up at the mirror across from her, that’s when she seems old Teresa in flannel. 

I had this scene planned out in my head before 5x07 aired and I always thought, when Teresa found out Boaz killed George, she would react violently and destroy her closet. So here in the story, Teresa is still inside her closet when old Teresa shows up.

“I’m not leaving without them,” Teresa told off the girl standing behind her in the too big flannel.

A reply never came but when Teresa looked back in the mirror, the girl was still standing there with terror in her eyes.

“I’m not leaving,” Teresa vowed.

The girl watched her. Teresa closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. It was the cocaine talking, the two big hits she’d taken while already upset. She knew that. But the girl remained, watching Teresa in silence.

In 5x07, Teresa has this conversation with Avi. But if she’s shut herself in her closet, then this conversation becomes a face-off with her former self. I think I like that better, actually. 

It also eliminates the whole exchange with Avi saying James ordered for the plane to be ready and that Teresa should get out of the country immediately. After everything they’ve been through I don’t buy that James would take it upon himself to make that decision for her, regardless of how worried and protective he is. Sorry not sorry, canon, but that just doesn’t make sense for these characters.

Teresa wasn’t sure if she sat there for minutes or hours. She paid no attention to how much light was streaming in through the window. In silence, the tears flowed and brought her back down to earth. She only knew a significant amount of time had passed when the white noise stopped ringing in her ears and a familiar burning feeling took hold in her chest.

That was the universe’s doing. It meant James was back.

She heard indistinct chatter from outside the closet in the main room. She listened closer. There was James’ gravelly voice, then a pause, followed by Pote, low and gruff. They exchanged words and then came a third voice, higher in pitch with a familiar Texas Southern drawl—Kelly Anne.

Teresa sighed. They were back. She’d never been so thankful for the hurt in her chest.

More changes to canon. James gets to Kelly Anne and Pote before Boaz and makes sure they get back to the safe house.

Here’s the thing. I hate the whole kidnapping plot of 5x08 and think it’s unnecessary. Much of the episode is spent on Pote grunting and yelling nonsensically, making lame threats. And what happens? Pote doesn’t save the day. Kelly Anne saves herself. I haven’t even mentioned the fact that Teresa calls Boaz and tells him she’ll give him the business (and she was not bluffing, by the way) as long as he lets Kelly Anne go. 

Omg. The action of 5x08 is fine. We get to see James in green. But the actual story...the plot of it...what the fuck is the point? The majority of the episode is wasted on Kote (the season is pretty much #Kote of the South at this point) when really it should focus on Teresa, and on the Castel/Devon/Kostya stuff. 

So yeah. I said hell no, unlike canon I refuse to let Kote take over in my story. The queenpin storyline gets abandoned completely in canon with no proper resolution for how Teresa gets back to herself. It’s like she goes from the queenpin, caring about nothing but the business, then suddenly remembers her true personality and is the old Teresa again.

And for what? All because of the kidnapping plot? No. Just no. I couldn’t do it.

Eliminating the KA’s kidnapping doesn’t eliminate the Boaz problem or the Kostya problem or the Devon problem. So I axed it.

She’d said the same less than a week ago in Berlin, looking over the city skyline. But this time it had no bite and sting.

There’s a song by Defeater called “The Bite and Sting” and the phrase in the second sentence above comes from that title. If for whatever reason you decide to listen to it, there’s a line in the song that goes We ain’t seen no Germans for days, because Defeater’s music is conceptual and tells interrelated stories over the span of their albums. The EP that “The Bite and Sting” is on, Lost Ground, is about a black WWII veteran. The song is about being in the war and that’s why the line I mentioned is there. Kind of ironic, because I was not thinking about the fact that Teresa said to James “say it” while they were in Germany.

Anyway, that was a longwinded explanation just to say: the context of the reference and the way the phrase is used in the sentence are not related.

Self-preservation had always been key for James’ survival, and over and over he threw it away for her. So his words hurt because they were honest, because they pointed out the mistakes she’d made when it came to him. But Teresa admired James for standing up for himself and showing his backbone. He was there for her—they were in this together—but he wouldn’t allow himself to be used. She had to prove herself, to somehow make amends. And she loved him for it, to be given the opportunity.

Because beyond striking the balance with herself, Teresa knew that if she wanted the pure love only soulmates who were lucky enough to find each other and chose to be together could have—not just tough love—then the days of shutting James out had to come to an end as well.

In the notes for Good Luck/Bad Days (a completely separate and unrelated story) I mentioned that one of the songs I ended up referencing, “Pure Love” by Hayley Williams was actually meant to be used in this story. I think pieces of the song fit better lyrically in Good Luck/Bad Days, but conceptually (are those different? I feel like they are different) it fits better here. So. That’s where the chapter title comes from.

[gild-and-fire]

Okay so I gotta ask - I can see you’re watching QotS and I’ve always been curious about it. Would you recommend??

I was so excited to receive your ask, Lauren! Thank you so much for sending it (and humoring me)--especially since I could talk about QOTS all day, but try to restrain myself bc I don’t want to be annoying lol. But unfortunately I have allowed myself to be unhinged and thus wrote a 700 word answer :) If you don’t feel like reading the whole thing lol I will refer you to @riosnecktattoo​’s ask which helped me to decide to watch QOTS. But here’s my spoiler-free, long post for why I love Queen of the South!

General

WOC as lead: I am obsessed with complex, badass, relatable women as leads, and i literally go FERAL when woc are leads. QOTS has two woc as leads and both are incredible actresses playing layered characters (Teresa and Camila).

For Camila, she leaves her husband and daughter to follow her ambitions and grow her business (not a spoiler). I think it’s very interesting how the show builds tension between Camila and her daughter due to this choice, and I enjoy that the show doesn’t answer but explores the “can women have it all” aspect and how she’s underestimated in the cartel business bc she's a woman and has to work harder to get where she is. 

For Teresa, I love her fortitude and moral compass, and like Beth, she’s definitely a badass. She is luckily a little bit more sensible/experienced than Beth when it comes to crime lol and actually has long standing success as the Queen of the South (duh, Audrey).

Worldbuilding: If the premise (mexican drug cartels) is interesting to you, then you’ll enjoy how they’ve built the gritty underworld of cartels and all the ruthless players from Texas to Columbia. Also, QOTS includes fantastic moments with magical realism which is such a neat genre overall and it really adds to the richness of the story. One of my favorite parts

Jeresa

It’s the parallels, it’s the trust, it’s the friendship and the way they sacrifice for the other person and save each other over and over again. 

Tropes: I especially love how James is framed as a “bad guy” (assassin in a cartel lol) and Teresa is the “good guy” (victim of cartel violence and thus against it,) but that over the course of the 3 seasons, they grow in different ways because of the other person. I think a lot about the fact that in their line of work it really does pay to be selfish/look out for yourself, and that both of them are very logical and realistic people. And yet! They both actively choose to protect and make sacrifices for the other person. makes me cry every time :,)

James is hot: James is fucking hot in that white henley and Lauren, I swear to god if this other gifset of James in his signature aviators doesn’t convince you, then I might throw this blog away

GG/BRIO

I want to contextualize this show by comparing it to good girls 

Consistency & Parallels: GG does this really well, but QOTS does it even better because there are plots and people from literally the first episode that come full circle and make a difference many episodes/seasons later. It’s clear that the writers really care about and have thought deeply about the development of their characters and plots. True for GG, but a little less so (looking @ you cancer lie and buddy the dog)

Violence: Okay you know how Rio just brings out the gun once in a while as foreplay? And like we have “seen” only one death in the entire series so far? In QOTS, it is impossible to watch a scene without two guns and a corpse lying around somewhere. If we’re lucky, maybe we won’t see a decapitated head being kicked around like a soccer ball more than once. I think if you can stomach the first two episodes, you’re fine.

OTP: brio’s UST is off the charts and im not sure i will EVER find a show that can match it, but jeresa is just so real. Ofc the cartel stuff can feel a little contrived sometimes, but their friendship and relationship is so healthy (given their circumstances), and it really is true love. For gg, I'm in the camp that they don’t actually love each other.  Side note: James is a main character with his own plots that intertwine with Teresa’s, which means we see him more than Rio’s 2min of him per episode. I know. It is truly a gift.

tl;dr QOTS is so good that I am incapable of acting like a normal human being and would like to scream about my love for this show. And if you decide not to watch this show, at least look at some gifsets of James. 

[nothingbutfangirlsmut]

The Trials of Emi

Pairing: A little Minho. A sprinkle of Frypan. Gally x Emi(OC)

Summary: Emi, her twin brother Thomas, and a small group of gladers had been rescued and taken to a safe haven. Or so it seemed. It doesn't take long for Thomas to realize something is wrong. What happens next is a true trial for all of them but Emi's trials began the moment she was ripped away from a dying Gally. Watching someone you love die right before your eyes truly takes a toll.

Finally meeting the right arm could have been the end but betrayal leads to even more chaos and loss. A new mission to rescue those taken from them leads them to a city. The last city. After Emi finally comes to terms with everything that's happened something unfolds that changes everything again. She will have to not only deal with helping her brother take down WCKD and save their friend but also deal with all the new problems in her head and her heart.

Rating: As of right now it’s at most PG13. Some strong language that’s about it but it could change.

(This is the 2nd part/book to my other story "The Maze trials: A Gally Fanfiction". This will cover the events of the scorch trails and the death cure.)

Chapter Ten

The guards started moving immediately pulling the kids two at a time to put on the aircraft.

"Hey!" Thomas shouted as he stood.

I was quickly on my feet standing next to him. I knew what he was going to do and I needed to be beside him for it to work. Our friends we're on their feet behind us.

"Hello, Thomas" Ava said softly.

Teresa appeared out of the guards behind Ava. She moved to stand right next to the doctor.

"Glad you're safe" Ava told Teresa.

"The hell? Teresa?" Fry asked as he stepped closer to Thomas and me.

"Wait, what's going on?" Newt asked stepping closer as well.

"She's with them," Thomas said bitterly.

"Since when?" Minho asked in shock.

"Oh, Teresa has always had an evolved appreciation of the greater good. Once we restored her memories it was only a matter of time." Janson explained with a smug grin.

My hands balled into fists at my side. I can't believe we trusted her. I can't believe I looked at her as a friend.

"You bitch" I spat at her.

If she wasn’t wedged between Ava and Janson I wouldn’t be hesitating. I knew if I lunged for the traitor’s throat, like I wanted to, I’d be dead before I could even touch her. The thought of her being protected by them. Her being on their side filled me with a rage I’d never felt.

“What about every god damn thing that happened to us!? What the hell is wrong with you?” I shouted as I stepped forward.

Just as I thought, the guards behind her instantly trained their weapons on me. I felt two different hands. One grabbing each of my wrists. My chest was rising and falling rapidly as I starred at the one I want blood from.

"I'm sorry. I had no choice. This is the only way. We have to find a cure." Teresa said like it was a matter of fact.

Bullshit. Absolutely unbelievable bullshit. I gritted my teeth together to keep myself from lashing out at the girl. The hands holding my wrists tugged me backwards until I was firmly standing next to Thomas again.

"She's right. This is all just a means to an end. You use to understand that Thomas. No matter what you think of me I am not a monster. I am a doctor. I swore an oath to find a cure. No matter the cost. I just need more time." Ava said sternly.

"More blood," a woman said from behind us.

I turned to see an older woman with her hands bound standing to her feet.

"Hello Mary, I hoped we'd meet again. I'm sorry it had to be under these circumstances." Ava said softly.

Mary. That's the name of the doctor that saved me. Was this woman that doctor?

"I'm sorry about a lot of things too but not this. At least my conscience is clear." Mary said with her head held high.

"So is mine," Ava said quietly.

A shot rang out making me jump. Mary fell to the ground as the man behind her shouted. He caught her in his arms.

"Mary? Mary!" He shouted trying to wake her.

Her torso was quickly covered in her own blood.

"No!" The man holding her screamed.

I turned back towards Ava to see Janson holding the gun that had killed Mary.

"Come on Janson. Load them up. Let's go. All these people get rid of them. Let's go!" Ava ordered as she turned her back on us.

As Ava started to walk away a guard grabbed Thomas and me. Thomas elbowed him making him stumble back.

"Get back!" Thomas shouted as he pulled the detonator out of his pocket.

I moved to stand next to him again then pulled the actual bomb out of my pocket. I held it in my hand so all of them could see it.

"Everyone stand back! Stand back. Let them go." Thomas ordered Ava.

"Thomas, put it down," Janson ordered.

"Let them go!" Thomas shouted.

"You know I can't do that," Ava said softly as she shook her head.

"Thomas please stop. I made a deal with them. They promised we'd be safe. All of us." Teresa begged.

I glared at her as I tightened my hold around the bomb. My heart was thumping in my chest.

"So I should trust you now?" Thomas asked in disbelief.

"It's true, it was her only condition," Ava confirmed.

"Shut up!" Thomas shouted in fury.

"Everything can go back to the way it was. Thomas, do you really want all of them to die?" Ava asked softly.

"Listen to her Thomas. Think about what you're doing." Janson said reaching a hesitant hand out.

Newt, Fry, and Minho stepped up to stand close behind us. I felt an arm move between mine and Thomas' bodies. I looked down to see Newt's hand grab Thomas' free one.

"We're with you Thomas," Newt said proudly.

"Don't" Ava said looking suddenly panicked.

"Do it Thomas," Minho ordered.

"We're not going back there," Thomas stated.

"Thomas" Ava said hesitantly as she took a step back.

"It's the only way," Thomas said as he raised the detonator.

I held the bomb tighter. My eyes closed as I tried to ready myself for what we were about to do. This was it. This is how it ends. With a bang.

"Thomas!" Ava shouted.

A loud horn blared behind us. We turned to see a jeep speeding through the camp. It drove right past us towards one of the helicopters. It rammed the helicopter off the cliff then spun around and stopped. Instantly the fighting commenced as we ran in different directions. Thomas grabbed the bomb from my hand then tossed it a few feet away.

"Get down!" He shouted.

My body hit the ground a second before the explosion. Thomas had fallen beside me. We both scrambled back to our feet. I grabbed his hand to pull him with me. We ran in the direction of Newt, Fry, and Minho. I watched as Minho grabbed a gun off the ground. Newt and Fry ran past him. He started firing as Thomas and I reached him.

"Get out of here!" Minho shouted at us.

Thomas pushed me forward. We both ran past him up the hill to the other two. We took cover to watch what was happening below us. The scene was total chaos. Minho was firing at three guards coming towards him. I watched as his gun ran out of bullets. The guards raised their guns and all three shot him at once. He fell to the ground convulsing.

"Minho!" I shouted trying to jump to my feet.

I’ll be damned if I let another one of us go down. I scrambled for a gun. For anything to fight back with. Thomas, Newt, and Fry all grabbed me keeping me firmly planted. We watched as Minho was drug away from us and onto the aircraft. The other guards, Ava, Teresa, and Janson were quick to climb aboard. I watched as the aircraft closed its door then flew away. Another glader gone. So many of us were gone.

The people left at the camp slowly started to take in the damage. We worked together to bring all the dead together and gather what salvageable material we could find. By the time most of it was cleared it was mid-morning. I found my brother, friends, and Vince all sitting together on the hill. I was quick to join them.

"What do we do now?" Fry asked as he starred out at what was left of the camp.

"Now we pick up what's left of us. Stick to the plan. We get you kids to the safe haven. Then start over I guess." Vince answered.

Thomas stood up from his seat next to me.

"I'm not going with you." He said simply as he pulled on his backpack.

I was immediately on my feet next to him. I didn't know his plan but no matter what I was with him. He is my brother. My blood. I'll always have his back even if it kills me.

"What?" Vince asked in disbelief.

Thomas glanced at me then back to Vince.

"I made a promise to Minho. I wouldn't leave him behind. I have to go after him." Thomas said.

A rescue mission to save Minho? I'm in. Even though he was the one that killed Gally I understood it. That didn't make it hurt less and Minho wasn't even close to my favorite person but he was still family. If Thomas was going to risk his life to save him I’ll be right there too.

"Hey kid, look around you. WCKD kicked our ass. Think about where you're headed." Vince told him sternly.

Thomas took a moment to readjust the backpack on his shoulder.

"I'm not asking anyone to come with me," Thomas said softly.

"You don't have to ask me Tommy," I told him.

Thomas looked down at me with a soft smile. He knew no matter what he did or said I was going with him.

"Thomas listen to me. I've known Minho for as long as I can remember. So if there is any way we can help him trust me I would be up there standing next to you both. This, what you're talking about, is impossible." Newt explained as he sat on a rock.

"More like suicide," Jorge said from where he leaned against the jeep.

"Maybe, but I know what I'm supposed to do now. It's not just about Minho. It's about all of us. It's about everyone WCKD has ever taken and everyone they will take. They'll never stop. They'll never stop so I'm gonna stop them. I'm gonna kill Ava Paige." Thomas said with determination.

I proudly stood next to him knowing I'd follow him into hell. The look the came over Newt’s face told me that he too would follow Thomas no matter the put come.

"I have to admit I'd like some revenge," Harriet said looking at Vince.

Vince sighed.

"Well, it's a good speech kid. So what's your plan?" Vince asked Thomas.

We all turned to face the boy next to me. He had a ghost of a smile on his face. He knew we were all with him. If WCKD was gonna go down we all wanted a hand in it. Those bitches have taken too much from all of us.

—

[penniesforthestorm]

Twin Peaks Recap, Extra Special Edition: “Fire Walk With Me: The Missing Pieces”

OK pals, here’s what’s up: I hadn’t planned on tracking down the rumored ‘missing pieces’ cut of Fire Walk With Me for this project, but as it turns out, the Criterion streaming site has it on the page for the film. If it was going to be that easy (I shelled out for a subscription as a birthday present to myself), I thought I might as well. Since it is essentially an edited-together collection of deleted scenes, it fits my usual note-taking style a little better than the film, which is an added bonus. If you’re looking for a reason to watch it beyond mere curiosity, it retroactively clarifies some details in the original series and the film, and sets up quite a bit of business for The Return (which I will be covering in the coming weeks, or...months...or whenever I get around to it...). Let’s dive in, shall we?

Part One: “Her name is Irene, and it is night. No need to make anything more out of it. There’s nothing good about it.”

-We open with Agents Desmond & Stanley leaving Teresa Banks’ autopsy. Stanley says, “I didn’t realize so many hours had passed.” Desmond doesn’t dignify this with a response. We see a little more of the Hap’s Diner scene; Desmond questions the guy in the entryway about Teresa--she had no friends, and/or never mentioned any, according to him.

-Desmond fistfights Sheriff Cable to persuade him to hand over Teresa’s body so they can take it to Portland. In Portland, we see a familiar face-- our own Dale Cooper, standing in the doorway of an office, talking to...Diane. Diane doesn’t answer, nor do we see her, but as far as I’m aware, this is the only moment in the original series that establishes Diane as a real person (beyond a margin of debate, which is settled in The Return...)

-Coop questions Agent Stanley, who shows him the ‘T’ they found embedded under Teresa’s fingernail.

-Another familiar face: Philip Jeffries, shown here at a hotel in (I assume) Miami. He asks the concierge if “Judy” is there, and takes a message. We flash to the room ‘above the store’, where the Man from Another Place is saying, “From pure air we have descended.”

-Jeffries appears in Philadelphia, in an extension of the scene from the film. He tells Gordon, “Judy is positive about this” and begins to explain. He mentions “the ring”, before laying his head down on Gordon’s desk and moaning in pain.

Part Two: “The Norwegians are coming!”

-Quite a bit here, but most notably, Sarah Palmer and Laura interacting like a relatively normal mother and daughter. Sarah even says, “You can tell me anything.” (Having been a teenage girl myself, let me just say this is rarely the comfort that people think it is...) Leland arrives, in buoyant spirits, telling them about the Norwegian delegation that’s coming to look at Ben Horne’s Ghostwood project. He teaches Laura and Sarah a Norwegian greeting, and it’s all...horribly...painfully...ordinary. That’s part of the tragedy, of course-- in a different world, the Palmers would have been a happy family.

-A few more glimpses into town life: Pete Martell (!!!) on the job at the Packard sawmill, helping Josie deal with the irate old banker upset that his 2x4s are not exact. (This reminded me of a story my mom, who works in a bank, told once-- a customer complained that he had measured his new checks with dental calipers, and they were noticeably thinner than the old ones, and how could they justify using such cheap paper...)

-At the RR, Ed & Nadine drop in for a cup of coffee, but Nadine runs out to avoid Norma, meanwhile, Norma gently nudges Shelley to help Laura with the Meals on Wheels. The diner is empty except for giggly Heidi nursing her bloody nose, and Norma sits down in a booth to cry.

-Laura, in shock from spying on Leland, runs to the Heywards. Donna brings her inside, and it turns out Eileen’s in the kitchen with a fresh batch of huckleberry muffins. Doc arrives, attempting a little magic trick with a red scarf. He teases Laura about her smoking, and she teases him back. She’s safe here, with these good people who love her...

-On the stairs at home, Laura has a vision of the Lodge. She’s brought out of it by Sarah, who looks noticeably disheveled. Laura and Sarah go into the living room, and Sarah keeps saying, “It’s happening again.” (In the timeline of the film, this is the night she dreams of the white horse...)

Part Three: “Looks like it’s just us girls.”

-Norma and Ed get snuggly in Ed’s truck!

-A clarification: in the film, it looks like Laura, Donna, the two johns, and Jacques just go into another part of the Roadhouse, or somewhere nearby, but this shows them driving some distance to another dive, clearly established as being on the Canadian border. The door to the back room has a sign: “The Power & the Glory.”

-we see Philip Gerard/the One-Armed Man sitting amongst a circle of candles, intoning, “Fire walk with me...”

-flashback to Teresa Banks’ liaisons with Leland; this is the most we see of her character, and she seems sharp and competent. After Leland bails, Teresa joins Laura and Ronette in the motel room, triumphantly waving the money. Then she calls up Jacques, asking him about Laura and Ronette’s fathers. Finally, a call to Leland, which unfortunately sets her fate.

-Forward again, to the Twin Peaks sheriff’s office. Joey, the biker with the curly hair, has alerted Hawk and Sheriff Truman that Bernard Renault is the one ferrying the cocaine across the border. I knew the bikers were important, especially once we see Joey at the Book House in S2.

Part Four: “Who am I talking to?”

-The morning after Bobby shoots the Deer Meadow deputy, he hands Laura the $10,000 to put in her safety deposit box. Later in the day, he discovers that the deputy gave them laxative powder.

-Laura gets a call from Dr. Jacoby, who tells her, “You’re going to have to deal with all of this,” and asks her for another tape.

-At the Briggs house, when Laura stops by, the Major is reading to Betty from the Book of Revelation while Bobby sulks in the basement. (I say this entirely as a compliment: Dana Ashbrook does some damn fine sulking in this series.) This plays more or less the same in the film-- Bobby saying to Laura, “You don’t want me; you want the blow, don’t you?” The thing is, Bobby’s a dreamer, and he’s quite upset that his fantasy has turned into a nightmare.

-Poor Margaret Lanterman, sitting alone in her house with the lights off, cradling the log as she hears the distant screams from the woods...

-”Some months later” we’re at Glastonbury Grove, then at Calhoun Memorial as Annie Blackburn, injured but alive, is rushed inside.

-in the Lodge, Cooper and the Man From Another Place are standing by the marble table, and the jade ring has vanished. “Someone else has it now,” the Man tells Coop. Annie, in recovery, repeats the speech from Laura’s dream. The nurse waves her hand in front of Annie’s face, but gets no response. She then steals the jade ring from Annie’s finger.

-Cooper/BOB, in the bathroom at the Great Northern, sinks to the floor as Doc Heyward and Harry burst in. They help him to his feet, and Doc tells him sternly, “You’re going right back to bed.” In a cold, flat voice, Cooper insists that he hasn’t brushed his teeth yet, and explains what happened. “It struck me as funny, Harry,” he growls, covered in blood.

The thing is, I don’t need to know everything. David Lynch and Mark Frost created a mystery; I’m not going to sit here and complain about not having the answers. But, in watching this full series again, I do want to pick up what I can, and now that I’ve seen this, I have more of an idea what I want to look for. So, onward and upward....

[mymostimaginaryfriend]

QOTS 4x13 Reaction Post

It’s the finale AKA  my very own reenactment of that taste-testing kombucha reaction meme!  

Yup, that’s the one lol. 

I feel like this ep will require a few rewatches to process BUT the good news is: Marcel lives! Oksana lives!  King George lives! Chicho lives!  (er...the Judge lives?) and the unexpected guest we’ve all been waiting for...LIVES.  James ends the season alive and in Teresa’s company and fully available for S5.  It’s a miracle.

About that--well damn guess we know now why the crew was piiiiiissed the network released those promo pics.  They kept James out of the previouslies and Peter out of the opening credits because he was supposed to be a literal last second surprise.  They even shoved an Eddie red herring in there last minute to throw us off (bless Bailey b/c THAT is a thankless role omg.  I can count on one hand the number of people who needed an Eddie update and they’re all related to the actor).

But gotta love the writers knowing they finally had PG for the finale and then packing the ep with as many James parallels/references as possible.  Oh did Javier lie to protect the woman he loved? Fancy that. Interesting choice of goodbye between Javier and Pote, can’t put a finger on where we’ve heard “Take care of her”/”Always” exchange before.  And O RLY to “If you had trusted me I could have protected you” and on and on.  Who knows if the specific parallels mean anything or the writers were kids in the James-is-finally-available-to-reference-in-the-script-again candy store but I’m looking forward to finding out in S5.

What’s weird is going out of a finale we don’t really have a clear view of S5.  With the Judge surviving the season, I’d think Teresa would stick around in NOLA for unfinished business.  But with Oksana’s scaryass cousin beckoning Teresa further down the Queenpin path, NYC sounds like an option as well.  Can’t wait to see who they cast as Kostya.

And as thrilled as I am that James showed up to tell Teresa the title of the episode (very considerate of him lol), who is this “they he speaks of? It’s a cliffhanger but a wide-open one.  We have no idea really what is next.

One hopefully good omen for Season 5 is Teresa had FIVE scenes with three different women characters this episode and I hope in my heart that  those dark Bechdel Test failing times of midseason are gone forever more.

As for the rest of the episode--

Damn, I knew Javier’s death was pretty much inevitable but what a way to go. And in true Javier fashion, he managed to double down on the deception consequences til the bitter end, backing Teresa well and truly into a corner before confessing.

And wow, the confession scene was amazing for Alice and Alfonso.  I loved both of their acting choices.

Good thing James is back though because apparently he is the only person on this entire show who can successfully shoot someone?

All that Randall/Javier chase scene needed was some Benny Hill music. What in the world lol. 

Okay I might be using humor to heal the sadness of seeing Alfonso go because Javier levitating amidst the flames to take down Randall made me scream and not in the way they intended.  To be fair, I guess Javier’s athletic ability of jumping out of trunks was foreshadowed last week.

SEE YOU IN ANOTHER LIFE, BROTHER. There has to be a take Ryan used the Desmond accent on that line, right?!  Give us the deleted scenes, QOTS! Oops he said other side. I still want deleted scenes tho.

Hellloooo S2 Queenpin outfit.  So it’s gonna be like THAT, huh.  And did anyone else think Eddie was wearing a wire at first in that scene??

But at the same time, the Queenpin transformation wasn’t as literal as I feared going into S4.  She’s still OUR Teresa too.

Curious to where her journey goes next

And curious to see how they fill in the James blanks.  What’s he been doing the last 9 months?  Is he a free man now or on the run?  And the really important questions such as: does he have like 10 extras of that exact same leather jacket stashed in safe houses across the country?

SO glad it got early renewal so we can find out.

And just like that we’re in hiatus again.  While this Season may not have been what I wanted it to be, or what I believed it could have been, at the end of it I’m still so thrilled I get to spend at least one more season with these crazy fools and you wonderful people.  THANK YOU to everyone who messaged me, commented, reblogged, tagged and to everyone who posted content--you made this season more fun than it had any right to be lol and I’m so grateful for you!  

Here’s to a fic-filled hiatus and an amazing Season 5! 

[barcaavengers]

New Beginning || Newt Imagine

Note: Hello! Hello! With all the theories and feels I got from watching The Death Cure I got some strong muse to write an imagine about it. I hope you all enjoy it!

Warnings! The Death Cure Spoilers. I don't remember the exact dialogue so I tried my best to make it match. Same with the scene sequences. Death mentions. Angst. Cranks…

”There has to be another way” Thomas says as he shakes his head. Gally had suggested that their way inside the Last City, was Teresa. You rest your body on your forearms on the table between Jorge and Minho.

”Its the only way” Gally assures him.

”What is it? You are afraid to see her?” Newt asks and you eye him.

”Its not that…”

”Do you still care for her? You are in love with her?” Newt was face to face to Thomas now, backing him against the wall.

”Newt, I-”

”Don't lie to me!” Newt pushes Thomas against the wall, hands on his jacket. He was being aggressive, and you have never really seen Newt like this after all these months. Everyone was looking at Newt and he backed down. “Sorry...Sorry, Tommy…” he says his brown eyes looking around the room to the others before walking outside.

Your gaze follows him until you don't see him anymore. You bite your lip, hesitating before looking at the others, “I'll go with him…” you mutter before darting out.

You find him sitting at the edge of the building on the roof. His back was to you, his head down as he fidgeted with his fingers. You approach him quietly, and he looks over his shoulder as you reach him and sit besides him. Both of you stay silent for a moment, and then he is the first to speak.

”Sorry about that” he says as he looks away from you. “Haven't been feeling like myself lately” he admits.

”I don't think any of us have” you agree. “Who would've thought we'd be out here, running from WCKD yet wanting to go back to get Minho...Shooting weapons, I mean” you scoff.

”Yeah” he chuckles weakly.

”Newt” you scoot closer and he eyes you. His eyes...they were distant. “Something is wrong…”

”The whole world is burned down, we are surrounded and attacked by Cranks constantly, Minho is with WCKD and we are trying to break in, nice observation.”

”No. I don't mean...Yeah, that too” you pause. “But I mean you. It's not like you to snap like you did back there.”

He frowns softly and looks to the ground, the one several feet underneath you. He seems to take some air before he speaks, “You know me too well, Y/N” he scoffs, an attempt for a chuckle maybe? “I guess I can't hide it from you…”

”Hide wha-?” He rolls up his sleeve and you see it. The dark veins, dark blue, taking over his arm. You gasp, eyes widen. “No. No…” you say and he rolls down his sleeve again.

”I'll tell, Tommy…”

”When were you going to tell me!?” You ask, upset that he didn't tell you first. Upset this was happening to someone like him!

”I thought it wouldn't make a difference” he shrugs.

”Newt...For shucks sake, of course it does! Newt, we can do something about it and get you what you need!”

”Yeah, everything is inside of WCKD” he remembers you and you frown. “It doesn't matter, what matters is to get Minho back…”

”Newt, come on. Don't be like this, don't give up like that. We can find the way” you say to him.

”We care about me after we get Minho, alright? Right now, what matters is him” he says, and the tone of determination he used only assured you that there was no way you could fight back about it.

”Okay…” you say softly, and then hear footsteps behind you. A look over your shoulder and you spot Thomas. “I'll leave you two be” you say and scoot back from the edge before standing up. Hues give Newt a last glance before they meet Thomas, and you hope your eyes don't tell up on the current pain you felt by knowing that Newt could soon turn into one of them. Soon turn into a Crank. You nod your head at Thomas before walking back inside with the others.

”Where are they?!” Gally called from his WCKD uniform, gun ready to fire. You were inside of the Last City, more specific, around the WCKD compound while Thomas and Newt got Teresa to help them inside to get to Minho.

You look around the area, notice you are getting surrounded by other soldiers. You look up at the building that belonged to WCKD headquarters and see something being thrown out the window. Your eyes squint and you notice three figures. “It has to be them! Up there!”

Gally looks up, “What are they doing!?”

The shadows move back before you see them running and jumping out the window. “Shit!” You scream, muffled by the helmet that covered your face. You rush over, following the other soldiers and you see their heads popping out of the water looking for breath. They come out of the water but before any of you can say anything, you hear Gally speaking, asking them to put their hands in the air and to get on their knees. You keep your launcher pointing at them, and when Gally finishes, you both turn the other way and shoot the other soldiers, electricity visible through their uniforms as it struck them.

Gally takes off his mask and you pull yours up. “You guys are nuts” he says and you smirk.

”Gally?” Minho asks as his eyes widen at the sight of the guy.

”Minho” Gally gives him a nod. “We have to get out of here. Let's go.” And he is on the move.

”Y/N” Minho says and you smile widely at him.

”Good to see you alive, shank” you say and he chuckles and pulls you close to him in a hug. Then, you are all running.

You stay behind as you notice Newt slowing down and coughing, as he trips, you quickly reach for his arm to hold him up. “No. No. Newt get up.” You say quickly and the guys stop to look behind them.

”Go on without me.” Newt said before coughing, this time black blood.

”Shut up and get up. We can make it.” You say as you throw his arm over your shoulder.

”I'm sorry…” he apologizes and you shake your head.

”Just stay with me. Please” you didn't even want to think of the consequences that were about to come if you didn't hurry.

”We got him. Cover us from behind.” Thomas says as he and Minho reach for Newt. You recharge your gun before you are on the move again. You all try to run as fast as you could, hearing explosions from all sides making you all stop and duck.

”Get down! Get down!” Gally shouts and all of you slide on the floor behind a small wall on the pavement. You are all trying to catch your breaths.

”What- What are they waiting for?” Thomas asks and just on cue, there is an explosion right behind you and people coming forward against the guards.

Minho shields you with his body while you try to shield Newt. Your eyes linger on his neck and you notice his veins...The veins you traced back in the glade while you fell asleep in his arms, were now a dark blue and popping out. Others were black, making it obvious he had the flare.

”Not so pretty now, huh?” He asks and your eyes look to his eyes, slowly becoming bloodshot, brown eyes darker by the red taking over.

”Shut your hole” you say as you look around, trying to find an exit from the chaos surrounding you. Then you turn back to him as he coughs. Your eyes look at Thomas, then Minho and Gally and your gaze softens. All of you knew it, dreaded this moment. You maybe had an hour left, being optimistic, to get the serum. There wasn't much time left for Newt, and you could feel your eyes watering.

”We gotta move” Thomas says and you nod your head, and almost wince when Newt coughs again.

Minho and Thomas pick him up and you start running again, trying to go unnoticed through the multitude of civilians and the soldiers. You all duck again as an explosion takes place right behind you. As you all do, Newt’s body goes completely limp as he coughs more blood.

”Stay with me buddy, we are almost there” Thomas assures him as he places him down, resting his back on another wall.

”Go on without me” he says, you notice his eyes are more bloodshot than a few minutes ago. It was getting worse than you thought, the virus was consuming him faster and there wasn't much you could do about it.

”No. We are almost there. Stay with us.” Thomas exchanges a glance with Minho and you shake your head.

”You don't have a say in this, shank. We can make it. We are gonna make it” You assure him. If you hadn't broken down yet, you almost certainly did when he reached for your hand, a tight reassuring squeeze.

”It's okay.” He looks at you and smiles, and even with the bloodshot eyes, the veins taking over his delicate, angelic features, and the blood on his lips, you could only see the boy that you liked. The one who showed you around the glade throughout the chaos that was going on because the box wouldn't go down, again, after you. You had been Plan B in case Teresa did not woke up, because she took too long to do so.

”Stay with me, okay? We still have that talk on hold, remember?” You two were about to confess your feelings, many times, but someone always interrupted, whether it was Minho teasing or Frypan and his bad timing.

”I can say it-”

”In the middle of this? No, thanks. I want it to be somewhere safe and not getting shot at” you say with a giggle, and he joins but he coughs and your heart breaks again. “Please, stay..” you can't hold it any longer and you feel the tears streaming down your cheeks and a sob shaking your body.

”Let's say our bloody goodbyes and then you can promise to remember me from my good old days” he says, trying to sound his cheerful, sarcastic self. Maybe the last words you will hear from the real Newt. His hand squeezes yours again and you are about to give in, to just lay there with him, but you all need to get moving.

”Minho” Thomas says from besides you. “Get to Brenda and bring the serum as soon as you can.”

Minho gives him a hesitant look, pleading to not be assigned of this task.

”We don't have much time. I can cover for him” Gally says.

”I'll stay here to cover you” you tell Thomas.

”Go with them.” Newt says and you glare at him. “I don't want you to remember me-”

”Bossing around. You were second in command in the glade, not here. Tell him to stop” you look at Thomas who holds back a smile, he is probably remembering the bickering you and Newt had almost every day.

”Listen to your girlfriend, Newt” he teases and for a moment, things feel normal. The teasing...It was back like the good days.

”Funny. I won't-”

”Oh my God, Newt” you roll your eyes and Thomas looks at you. He had the same gaze you were probably holding. This...This scene...May be the last together. You won't have this anymore if...Your eyes are stinging again, and you let yourself cry again, silently. Newt was...out, and Thomas was looking at the floor, holding back his own tears.

”Y/N, its not over” he assures you and takes your free hand. The one holding Newt’s was tracing over the back of his hand, the dark blue veins reminding you of the nightmare, the hell, the feeling of emptiness and hopelessness that you were all going through.

”Let's try meeting them halfway…” you suggest and Thomas nods his head. You release Newt’s hand and stand up and rush to the corner to check that it was clear. Thomas reaches for Newt moments later, the blonde boy limp like a puppet… You were all puppets. You were WCKD’s puppets and if it wouldn't have been for them, maybe all of this would be different.

Thomas and you rush again, running, or so he tries as he carries Newt. “Do you need help?!” You call as you run.

”I got him!” He shouts back.

You reach an open area, a place where seemed to be a train stop, way too quiet for the chaos going on in the city. “I'll go check that its clear. Stay here” you say and move cautiously forward. Your gun was pointing straight forward ready to shoot whatever came to you. Further steps and you hide in a corner before aiming down the street. Nothing. You decide to check the second block away for any unwanted cranks, but it's clear as well.

That's when you freeze, hearing Teresa’s voice through the streets, begging Thomas to come back to the Headquarters because his blood was the cure. Did she really had the ner-

”You can save Newt.” Those words were the ones that triggered your whole being, echoing through your ears.

”Y/N!” You hear a voice call out and you turn around, aiming quickly before noticing Brenda, Frypan, Minho and Gally running your way.

”You got it!?” You ask and Brenda shows you the blue capsule with the serum. “Let's go” you take it from her, and you run. You run as fast as you can. You can give Newt time. You can give him time until Thomas saves him with his blood. You could be together and everything was going to be-

You stop in your tracks as you see Thomas and Newt. Thomas with your back to you, Newt looking forward, at nothing in particular. His face...darker veins, eyes completely red, blood coming out of his mouth...You think that maybe they were sharing a hug, too optimistic, right? Or Thomas was stopping him from doing something, but all of that vanishes when Thomas steps back, you hear a loud ‘No' and he is helping Newt lie down.

”No. No. No. No!” You shout and you run to them, vision becoming blurry as you start crying yet again. You fall on your knees besides Newt, a knife through his chest. “Newt. No. Stay with us. I got it. We got the serum” you whisper, brushing back his hair. Thomas stands up, and Fry and Minho fall besides you. “Newt...Newt” you call out even though you know it's not going to do anything. That you won't get a reaction out of him. That his body was...lifeless….

You bend down and rest your head on his chest, just besides the knife as you let the emotions take over you, feeling and hearing the last beats of his heart fading. The hand with the serum sinks down on his skin, wishing you could've done it sooner...You should've run faster. You shouldn't have stopped. You should have gone with him. You should have stayed with a serum...You should have done so many things before the unimaginable….

”Y/N...We gotta go…” Frypan says as he wraps his arms around you.

”I should’ve told him...I should've saved him…” you sob and lean into Fry, who only falls back down on the floor with you in his arms.

”This is not your fault” Minho says, his voice strained. “And I'm sure he knew” he voices in a whisper. The three of you hold onto each other for a few moments besides Newt’s body.

”Where's Thomas?” You look around and then look at Brenda who was as shaken as you all were.

”He went to her” she says and your heart boils. If it wouldn't have been for Teresa...You could have all gone to Safe Heaven before all of this. If she wouldn't have betrayed you all and taken Minho, you'd be all safe and happy...

In the Berg, you keep to yourself in a corner as Jorge flies around looking for Thomas.

”Hey, greenie” Gally speaks and you look up before he crouches down. “I'm sorry…” he says. You were one of the few people, maybe the only one, who didn't hate Gally. It was not his fault that Chuck had died. He was being controlled by them, he wasn't himself, and Chuck was just another damn variable to this stupid fiasco.

”Thanks…” you whisper and he hesitates, but you lean in and hug him, which he is quick to reciprocate, maybe the only person he has hugged since the Glade, and it felt well for you. You were sure he was hurting as well over Newt’s death. After all, they spent years in the Glade, they were part of the Keepers council. 

As you pull away, you look at Newt’s lifeless body a few feet away. It looked...peaceful. The others had cleaned him up before taking off so you could bury him in Safe Haven, for him to be with all of you. The black and dark blue veins had vanished, and you were grateful for it to be able to see him one last time like he really was.

The rest of the night goes too fast for you, some kind of whiplash hitting you. One moment you were saving Thomas and Teresa from the roof at WCKD, and then, after getting Thomas up the Berg, Teresa had been unable to get in and fell from the crumbling of the building. 

You had hated Teresa after her betrayal. This is why you were all here in the first place. She still joined them again after everything they have lost. She was one of them. Yet she didn't deserve such death.

The flight to the Safe Heaven was quiet, everyone processing the events that had happened, but the flight was too short to even think of it and in just a matter of an hour you were at the Safe Haven. Everyone walks out, but you stay back a little longer. Your arms wrapped around your knees and your head resting on top of them as you took a seat in the Berg’s seats at the very entrance.

”Y/N” Thomas calls and you look up, wiping away the tears and hum questioningly as you do. “He left you this...In the necklace he gave me” he hands you a piece of paper, wrinkled and rolled up. “I'll leave you to read it. I'll be back in a few.”

You fix the paper before scanning over the letters before reading them.

Dear Y/N/N,

I'm sorry that my letter is not as long as the one I gave to Thomas. I guess that even by letter I still can't properly chat with you, which is supposed to be the reason of this. I know that you tried your all saving me, and I don't want you to feel guilty in any way. Sometimes that's how it works, or it should work. I think I have told you everything I should have back at the Maze, back at the Scorch...We had a long run together, love. I hope that as I say the words, nobody interrupts you. I don't know if I had felt like this before the Maze, but I found myself in love with you. As I lose myself to the Flare, there were several things I remembered and repeated to keep myself sane, one of them was you. The second girl sent to the Maze, the one who would not take any of my klunk and know when something was off. You always had that sixth sense around me, even until my last days, you knew I was turning into someone that wasn't myself. I love you, Y/N, and I'm happy that I was able to keep that feeling even after I was infected. I always kept your smile and personality on my mind, keeping me sane, along the names of the shanks that we lost and our core four.

As I told Thomas, you deserve to be happy. You all do. Don't stop doing so because of me. Remember me for my good old days and our little chats, because that's how I remembered you, with you in my hammock waiting for me because you were scared of the Grievers’ screeches and smiling at me as we talked. Thank you for loving me...I knew because Minho told me. Feel free to hit him since he couldn't keep your secrets about me around, but I'm grateful that he didn't keep to himself. Thanks to it, I know I was loved by friends who I love, and by the one girl who could make the klunkiest of days better.

”Love, Newt.”

”Oh great, now I'm hearing his voice” you say to yourself through sobs as you wipe your face with your sleeve from the tears.

”Last time I checked, you weren't deaf and you weren't going mad” you hear his voice again and your eyes widen and look at his body. He...He was leaning against the wall of the Berg, standing, arms crossed against his chest with a smirk on his face. Your heart was beating too fast, your hands were shaking. “Tommy was awfully late giving you that letter or you waited too long.”

You stand up, shaky hands holding you up as you do. “I've gone crazy have I? I'm not immune and I'm hallucinating…” you say as you take steps towards him. The device that WCKD used to control you was removed, right? Teresa did that. Then why...

”Will you just bloody get here and make sure yourself?” He says. Too real, his words echo through the Berg and you think its too much of an effort of WCKD if he wasn't there.

You stand before him and look into his eyes, not bloodshot, not big, but their beautiful chocolate, brown color. Your fingers trace the places where his veins showed on his face, no longer popping out, no longer dark blue or black, his flawless skin was intact. It definitely smelt like him...And felt like him. “Newt…?”

”That is me” and with that he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you to him and you squeak and laugh as he joins you, his eyes becoming small as he does. “Missed me?”

You hug him tight finally, tighter than you should but you had to make sure he was real. You sob and tears stream down your face yet again. “How….?”

”I...I stabbed Thomas, and I guess his blood on the knife got to me when it went through me. I heard his blood was the cure but I didn't think it was possible. Thought it was another trick from her to lure him back, and then you,” he ran his fingers through your dirty hair, “you used the serum on me before I died. I still faded out, I died, partly” he assures you, “but the serum and Tommy’s blood brought me back. I guess it took longer to kick in because I was tired and too infected.”

You were just looking at him in awe, he looked...so angelic before your eyes. He was an angel if he died and came back. “Newt” you say and cup his face between your hands. “I love you. I love you” you whisper quickly afraid it was a mind trick or that he would be taken from you again.

”I love you too” he chuckles and you join him. His eyes look into yours and you sigh, a breath of happiness and peace. Your tongue brushes over your lips before you lean in and press a kiss to his own, a simple liplock. You melt into the kiss, because he was real after all. He was real, he was here, and he was yours.

”Y/N, are you- Woah!” Minho calls from the entrance of the Berg and you pull away from the kiss, eyes wide, but you notice Newt’s pale cheeks blushing. “Is this- Are you- Thomas! Fry!” He calls out.

”You really have made it your duty to interrupt every second we share, don't cha?” Newt says and everyone shows up.

”No way!” Fry shouts.

”Oh my God!” Thomas screams before they all run towards the two of you and you laugh. Newt’s arms hold you close, trying to shield you from the crazy boys, laughing to himself.

You all embrace each other and laugh, holding each other close. Minho ruffles Newt’s hair as he chuckles, Thomas is trying to hold back his tears of happiness, Fry is laughing and patting Newt on the back.

Everyone was shocked to see Newt coming out of the Berg. His arms was secured around your shoulders, Thomas on his other side. After a few minutes they started to cheer and went up to him to hug him. You let go of him to let the others go on and celebrate, standing in a corner, watching. Soon, Thomas joins you.

”I still can't believe it” Thomas says as he smiles and looks at Newt as he talks with Sonya. You notice they look alike.

”Trust me, he gave me one hell of a scare” you say with a small laugh. “I was reading his letter in whispers and all of a sudden he decides to talk and look at me from the corner.”

”You saved him” Thomas points and you shake your head.

”We both did.”

”The two persons who he wrote the letter to...Its almost as if he knew” Thomas says.

”Yeah” you agree and look at Thomas. “But now he is here with us, and that's all that matters” you nod your head and Thomas smiles and gives you a side hug which you lean into.

”Now he can call you his girlfriend” he teases and you push him away.

”Took you long enough” you laugh and look at Newt who is walking your way.

”Stealing my girl, I see” Newt says but his brown hues are kept on you.

”I think she doesn't want me that much yet. Can't compete against that accent” Thomas jokes and you giggle.

”Good to know its just the accent” he replies before looking at both of you. “Thank you, for everything that you did and not giving up.”

”We would have never given up if we had a small chance…” you admit to him, and Thomas and you just lean forward and hug the boy tightly.

The rest of the first day was peaceful and full of teasing from the guys and doing the best to leave behind the events that happened. You felt at ease, and everything was better. You sat a bit away from the group as they all lighted up the party. Newt soons joins you, sitting close to you in the sand and wraps his arm around you and pull you close.

”You are quiet” he says and kisses your temple, lips lingering there.

”Just enjoying everything from afar” you say and look up at him, smiling.

”Are you? Or are you doing it to lure me and have me all for yourself?” He teases.

”Hm, didn't thought of it” you giggle. “Sounds like a great plan, and it worked” you tease and he smiles down at you. His index finger delicately rests under your chin, lifting it up as he leans down to meet your lips. You relax into the kiss, your fingers resting on the arm around you. You brush your tongue along his lip teasingly and you feel him smile into the kiss.

”Oh my God, is this how I will see you two from now on?” Minho groans playfully and you both pull away from the kiss again.

”Could be worse” Newt shrugs as he looks at his best friend. “Just make sure not to follow us if we go somewh-”

”Okay, okay. I got it. Just came to let you know the food is ready” Minho says, hands in the air before chuckling and going back to the group.

”Is there maybe another Safe Haven? Or a place far from here where Minho won't interrupt us?” Newt asks.

”You'd drag him with you along with the others anyway” you point out and you both chuckle.

”Just for one day. I can survive without them one day” you say. “One day without interruptions” he says before patting your thigh. “Let's go. I'm starving” he says and helps you up. Both of you walk hand in hand to join the other gladers who were drinking and eating and enjoying themselves.

This would be a perfect new beginning. You knew it.

[newtparadise]

i got, "the fallen watching over everyone in safe haven from heaven." from the Wheel of Angst. and i just imagine everyone watching in pain bc everyone in safe haven are like Not Okay, but also smiling fondly whenever they're happy and feeling relieved bc they all deserve to be happy and be at peace, fhdjkfhjdskfjs

So this is super late but I wrote a little something forya ;) this actually has 5 parts but i’ve only completed one for now ;; the wheel is here btw for those who wants to spin it

You taught me the courage of stars before you left

           How lightcarries on endlessly even after death

With shortness of breath you explained the infinite

           How rareand beautiful it is to even exist [x]

——

i. newt and teresa

The night is mostly quiet, save for the rhythmic lull ofthe waves hitting the shore. It’s a clear sky again, and Newt can’t remember thelast time he sees these many stars at once. Even the moon is brighter and bigger than usual, its ethereal beauty bathing the earth in a soft light. There is a strangely calming thingabout this all, he thinks, as he sits leaning against the tree.

Silently, he watches.

He watches as the lights around the tents turn off, one by one, a chain ofevents that continue seamlessly until the entire area grows dark. Watches asthe boys and girls hug, kiss and exchange goodnights like prayers, as the movements slowly ceaseto a standstill.

Newt closes his eyes.

He hears the scream before he sees it.

He desperately searches for the source of the sound andnotices that one of the huts -Minho’s-is now illuminated.

Minho exits just moments later, distraught and drenched insweat. He collapses onto the ground after a short walk, exhausted more thanhe’s ever been.

Newt feels his stomach churn. What could it be this time? It’s painful for him to watch, but Newt knows it’s even worse to live through it every single day.

Someone’s approaching him in a graceful lilt that Newtrecognises instantly; it can only belong to one person. He doesn’t look back,doesn’t have to, he knows his company well enough. Instead, he keeps his eyesfocused on Minho, a frustrated frown on his face.

“Minho is having a nightmare again,” Newt says, his heartconstricting in rage at the thought. If only he can be there for him. If only…

“He’s strong.” It’s Teresa, taking a seat next to him, herhair softly blowing in the cold air. She has a small grin on her face, beautifulas always, and the sight of her being so calm lends Newt some reassurance. “Hewill get through it.”

Newt can only nod, wishing that the dreams are kinder to the others tonight. “He has to be,” he pauses, glancing down at his feet where thegrasses are deep green, a shade darker than they had in the Glade. There arevines twirling around the roots and barks of the tree that they’re restingunder, interweaving and forming intricate patterns unlike anything he’s everseen before. It’s a mesmerizing sight, almost entrancing. It’s heavenly.

“The kids we rescued from the cells, they’re younger,aren’t they? WCKD must’ve taken them after us.” Newt mutters, shaking his head when he recalls the scared faces of the children –children- who were kept and marked like properties, stripped oftheir humanity. “He needs to be strong, for them.” He takes a deep breath. Exhales. “Thomas, too.”

Silence falls like a blanket, and Newt lets it be. He continuesto watch Minho fight his demons, the latter standing up from where he’s sprawled on theground to sit on the sandy beach, staring out at the open sea.

For a split second, Newt wonders how the seawater wouldfeel against his feet. His left leg would be weightless in the water, not useless, heavy and aching like it was before. He’d be… free.

When he looks back up, Teresa is staring at him like shehas something on her mind.

“I’m sorry,” Teresa suddenly says, voice barely a whisper. Slowly,she takes his hand in hers, tremble evident in her fingers. “Newt, I’m sorry. Ididn’t know.”

At that, Newt is quiet for a while, enough for Thomas toappear from the tent next to Minho’s, making his way to where the boy issitting by the shoreline, hunched. Thomas doesn’t say anything, only makeshimself comfortable next to Minho and places an arm around him. It pains Newtto see the two most important people in his life hurting, but the worst thingis not being able to do anything about it.

The wound of Teresa’s betrayal is still fresh in his mind,but Newt cannot bear to let her suffer in guilt. Not when they’re finally atpeace.

“It wouldn’t have changed much if you did, Teresa.” Heturns to look at her, noticing the tear tracks now running down her face. Newtsmiles sadly, gently wiping her tears away, and she leans into the touch. “Don’tregret it. You did what you thought was right.”

“I only wanted to find the cure. I wanted you to be therewith him,” Teresa says, a sob racking her lithe body, shaky hands holding ontoNewt’s wrists right where his pulses are. Were.“Thomas loved you. He still does.”

“Yeah well that shank falls in love pretty shuckingeasily, so,” Newt lets a soft laughter escape him, hoping that the hitch in hisbreath goes unnoticed. It doesn’t. Of course it doesn’t.

“You know it’s different with you, Newt,” Teresa says, acrack in her voice. “It’s always been, even before the Maze.”

Newt can’t bring himself to say anything back.

Below them, Thomas is helping to pull Minho up on hisfeet. He loses his footing and drops unceremoniously onto the soft sand, partof his shirt and pants getting soaked in cold water. Minho’s chuckling at him,both in ridicule and genuine hilarity, and they bicker for a bit before the twogood friends start breaking into a race along the beach, Minho takingthe lead, mirthful laughter ringing in the air.

Newt feels his heart bloom at the sight. A familiar scene.

For a moment, they look happy, as they should be.

Just like in the Glade.

He can only watch from afar and smile, hoping that theywill be alright.

[lokidiabolus]

Hey, Misha! Needless to say, I absolutely adore your writing 💓 I've always loved Childhood Friends!AU and I was wondering if you're keen on writing a prompt (or more prompts, it's not like I would be complaining haha!) about Newtmas as childhood friends? It would be so cool!

To be completely honest, childhood friends!AU is one of my favourite tropes ever. I had several ideas in my head for it, but this one occured to me y-day after p browsing internet, finding a picture of unrequired love kind of thing. I'll probably return to the childhood friends!au with different ideas, but I just had to get this one out ^^

Ao3 Version.

Newt was born in England, Brighton, but when hewas five, his family decided to move to America and settle down in a house witha white fence and a dog, living the American dream.  Newt hated it there – he hated how peoplespoke, he hated how they laughed, how they behaved, how nothing was like he wasused to. He missed his friends and their little house near the coast, the airand the beaches.

After a year he got used to his new life to adegree where he didn’t whine to his parents anymore, but secretly remainedbitter about people around him, until the first day of the first grade where hemet Thomas in his class.

Thomas was a kid of the same age; with bigbrown eyes and really adorable way of pronouncing “squirrel” (that was also whyNewt remembered him so well right the first day). He didn’t live too far fromNewt’s house, just few blocks actually, and he was the friendliest person Newtmet in America so far. They became friends very fast and 11 years later Newt consideredhim his best friend he could tell everything to.

Well, almost everything.

He started crushing on him when he was aboutfifteen, but if he really wanted to be honest, he probably somehow fell in lovewith Thomas’ adorableness right in the first grade and it stuck to him like aglue. He tried to get rid of the feeling at first, because hey, two guys andThomas being straighter than an arrow didn’t really offer anything but trouble,but he failed miserably, so he just decided to ignore the problem until it wouldeventually go away.

He was 17 now and it was still there. Newt wouldeven say worse than before, especially when Thomas started to date his highschool sweetheart Teresa and Newt had no idea what to do with himself. He wasstill the best friend, still the main person Thomas turned to and telleverything (sadly definitely everything)but how the creeping desperation inside of him progressed, Newt started to hatehimself with passion and the fear of not fulfilling the expectation of the TheBest FriendTM was eating him up alive.

“You’re awfully quiet today.”

Newt jolted and almost spilled his drink he wasabsentmindedly holding all this time, while sitting in Thomas’ bedroom,completely ignoring the TV that was playing. He didn’t even know why he cameover in the end, but it probably involved Teresa not being present. Spendingalone time with Thomas had been rather difficult lately, but Newt thought itwas better, since it would give him less chances to screw up.

“Sorry,” he put the glass with drink on thetable, wiping his hand to his trousers. “Just thinkin’.”

“’bout?” Thomas’ voice was full of curiosityand Newt sometimes thought he should work harder on pretending everything wasfine before Thomas would put one and one together.

“How lame your hair is today,” he shot back,glancing at his friend with a perfectly faked smirk, and Thomas sputtered.

“Noooo…”

“You look like an idiot,” he insisted, becausehey, Thomas really did look strange with the hair being all up and ready to runaway, judging from the weird angles it had. He kind of guessed it was Teresa’sinfluence or something, but it didn’t mean it looked good. Thomas groaned andslid down his bed and onto the floor like sack of potatoes.

“Fuck, I really hate it too,” he heard himsaying. “But I tried; therefore no one should criticize me.”

“Go wash it,” Newt nudged him and Thomascrawled away, whining all the way to the bathroom, and then some more frominside. He was dating Teresa for about four months now and Newt was alreadyspotting her touch on all kind of things – the hair, some clothes, even musictaste. All things were screaming no toNewt, but he couldn’t really say much about it, unless he wanted to upsetThomas marginally (unless it was really bad, like the hair today). They weremeeting up less too, gaming together felt like impossible task and all the freetime got usurped with deadly accuracy, as if on purpose. But Newt was braveenough to say it couldn’t be Teresa’s aim, because he was really trying hisbest to pretend, and nobody found out yet. Thomas even preferred her most ofthe time and Newt wasn’t the one to complain, it was usually other Thomas’friends who did.

Or was it because he wasn’t loud enough?Because he acted so reconciled with the fact Thomas was in love with somebodyelse?

No, he thought. Can’t be it. Would be weirder if I whined about it.

“Phew, that’s better,” Thomas emerged back fromthe bathroom, towel around his shoulders and his hair wetly plastered on hishead. “That’s for me believing what a girl is saying.”

“Feels bad, man,” Newt commented with a smile andThomas sat next to him on the floor with a sigh. The TV played some randomdrama and Thomas seemed too interested in it, which meant something wasbothering him but he tried to pretend everything was fine.

Newt tilted his head to the side and nudged himagain.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly and Thomasmade a face at the TV. Newt wasn’t sure if it the scene was that bad, since hebarely paid attention, or if it meant he didn’t want to talk about any problemthat could be occurring.

“Think I’m a shitty bf,” Thomas said with hiseyes still fixated on the screen. Newt stared back at him with no idea what thehell to say, until Thomas finally glanced towards him with embarrassedexpression.

“What,” Newt managed, his mind reeling. True,it was kind of strange Thomas wasn’t with Teresa as he always did, or at leaston the phone texting her, but he didn’t really think much of it until now. “Why?”

“Cuz she’s not happy,” Thomas answered withsurprising calm.

“Not happy?” Newt repeated incredulously. Whatelse she wanted from Thomas than what he was already giving her? They werebasically always together lately too. “She told you or something?”

“She didn’t need to,” Thomas shrugged, but itlooked rather weak. “She’s not happy cuz I’m not happy.”

Then break up withher, Newt greedyside wanted to say, but he forced himself to stop. Under no circumstances hewould say something like that, ever. Hewas going to support Thomas because he was his best friend, even though herepeated it in his head like mantra too many times so it would still be true.

“Did something happen between you?” he askedinstead, carefully, like walking over broken glass, and Thomas shook his head. “Youtalked about it with her?” Thomas nodded. “And?”

“I guess it’s kinda over?” Came a reply andNewt’s heart almost stopped. They broke up? Broke up for real?

Nonono, stop thinkingabout it!

“’m sorry to hear that, man,” Newt forced outas apologetically as he could and patted Thomas on his back. “Can I do anythingfor you to feel better?”

Because of course his stupid, greedy self wouldsay that. Like oh great, you broke up,let’s spend more time together again, so I can get my dose like a junkie beforeit’s too late!

“You being here is already doing a lot,” Thomassmiled at him gratefully and Newt kind of wanted to cry. This was not fair andyet it absolutely was, and in the end it changed nothing and it never would.Teresa might have been out of picture, but there were going to be other girls,other dates and relationships and Newt was stagnating on one spot, unable tomove forward, the best friend watching from side lines.

“Anytime, man,” he said anyway and when Thomasrested his head on Newt’s shoulder like a content overgrown cat, Newt waspretty sure he was soon going to burn in hell.

***

“Man, I’m so jelly of that guy.”

“Huh?” Newt raised his head from the notes whenWinston was staring into his phone like somebody sent him a death threat.

“I wanted to buy a ticket for today’s B-Clubperformance, but they are all sold out already,” Winston whined, uselesslyclicking on order while getting errormessages.

“That rubbish band?” Newt raised an eyebrow andWinston made a face at him.

“They may be rubbish, but it’s full of prettyladies, sue me,” he commented with pursed lips and Newt shook his head with achuckle. “And that bastard Thomas already have a ticket!”

“What?” that made Newt alert again, this timewith confused undertone. Thomas never listened to the band, quite frankly nevereven paid them much attention, despite the fact it was full of young girls, andsuddenly had a ticket for the show? Why?

“That chick Brenda got him one,” Winston letout a sigh. “Seriously. Lucky bastard, scoring a date and ogling at one night.”

A date?

Newt hated how his stomach clenched at that,like somebody was kicking him repeatedly. It had been two weeks since the break-upwith Teresa and Thomas fell back into his let’shang out every day routine with Newt. They usually had at least dinnertogether, either at Newt’s or Thomas’ home, and their parents were like: oh, glad to see you coming here again [name]!It was almost like they were kids once more, playing videogames or justtalking, even helping each other with assignments. Thomas never mentioned anyBrenda during the talks, and Newt was perfectly sure if there was a dating possibility,he would tell Newt as the first person. And Newt would smile and congratulatehim, as he always did, and the meetings would diminish, as they always did, andeverything would be the same once more.

But now he didn’t know about anything thatmight have even resemble Thomas wanting to date, and unless he met her justtoday and she immediately gave him a ticket for a rubbish show, it just fellout of the learned way of Thomas’ behaviour pattern.

He despised himself the moment he grabbed hisphone and sent Thomas a message about tonight’s dinner, because his masochisticside of wanting to suffer just couldn’t be repressed, apparently. Surely Thomaswould tell him about dating. Surely Winston just heard wrong?

Thomas – 14:21 – Sorrymy man, can’t tonight! Call it for tomorrow though, ayyy!

Newt sent something neutral back, he knew that,it was a well learned move, and then the rest of the day somehow passed as ablur.

***

“Chinese food.”

“Your favourite,” Thomas responded proudlywhile presenting the kitchen table full of white, neat boxes. The food in themsmelled fantastic and there was too much for just two of them, and Newt bit histongue in order to keep any questions about yesterday inside. Thomas waspractically glowing and he knew that kind of state – falling in love, beingobsessed, overdosed with endorphins. Newt had no bloody right to pry into it ifThomas didn’t want to tell him, and maybe it was easier with the blissedoblivion for a little longer.

“You’re too nice,” he said instead withpracticed smile, and no, he was happy for him, he was glad Thomas was in goodmood and in great place right now. He was still his best friend, and bestfriends were basically family. He was (bitterly) happy for him. “What’s theoccasion?”

“You looking like an advertisement for Twiggyfashion?” Thomas joked and pulled a chair away, gesturing for Newt to sit down.

Oh no, Newt thought. He’s going to drop something huge. He’s never this super nice without areason.

“Thomas,” he eyed him warily, but the brunetjust grinned and gestured towards the chair again, so Newt sat down and hopedfor the best. “You’re creeping me out now.”

“Oh no, this soon?” Thomas faked a shock andNewt wanted to groan. “What are you going to say after the candles and themarching band I ordered to play your favourite song?”

“I’d just rather die already,” Newt buried hisface in his hands and Thomas laughed in honest amusement and patted his back.

“Oh c’mon, Newtie, you know you love it anyway,”he had the nerve to wink at him and when he finally sat down on the other chairand handed Newt one of the boxes without pulling a bouquet of roses out of hisass, Newt could relax a little.

“So, I had been thinking,” Thomas started and Newtbraced for the inevitable as casually as he could. It was fine, a good friendordering his favourite food while telling him something insane, like thatwhoever Brenda had been was now pregnant and Thomas was dropping out of schoolto marry her to have a nice house at the beach, a golden retriever and a whitefence.

Good grief, I hopenot, for his own sake.

“I hope it didn’t hurt,” Newt piped withoutlooking at him when Thomas grew quiet. “You rarely use your brain, don’t strainit too much in one go.”

“Oi, I use it when it counts!” Thomas retortedback with a smile in his voice and Newt’s mouth curled up in a smile too,almost involuntarily. He kept his eyes on the food though, just to be sure.

“So?” he asked matter-of-factly and Thomassighed.

“Are you not going to look at me at all tonight?”

Newt blinked and glanced up, spotting Thomas’sour expression aimed at him.

“Huh?” he let out stupidly. “Uh, sorry. Lookingat you now.”

The sour expression stayed and Newt cleared histhroat and put the box back on the table.

“Sorry,” he repeated. “What’s yours I had been thinking thing then?”

“Eh, never mind, the mood is gone,” the brunetshrugged and reached for his food as well. “My bad.”

He didn’t elaborate even when Newt was glaringat him for a full minute after and then half of the first episode of Scrubs.

***

It came as no surprise when Thomas couldn’tcome for dinner the next day or the day after. It gave Newt the right message,and quite frankly he was a little glad he managed not to hear Thomas out theother day, because even when he could imagine what Thomas had to say, it wouldstill take too much effort to keep straight face during it. So he was nowcontent with the Schrodinger relationship that kept Thomas busy and justwallowed in his own self-pity for a change.

Was it going to be like this forever? Was hegoing to pin after him until he would be old and wrinkly and Thomas would havea wife, and kids and grandkids and occasionally invite Newt over for the good old-timesake while sporting his wife’s favoured brand of clothes and hairstyle?

Am I going to bebitter and alone forever because I just can’t give up?

He took his phone, his eyes fixated on Thomas’name in the chat log, and the last message was a lil busy this week, I will make it up to you.

“Make it up to me,” he read out loud, the lightfrom the phone almost blinding him in the dark room where he was hidden underthe covers.

Newt – 20:11 – Hey, Ireally miss you. Hewrote, then his fingers stopped and got back to the delete button, erasing thewhole message.

Newt – 20:15 – I loveyou since the first grade and can’t stop thinking about you. He wrote again, his fingerstrembling, and it hurt inside. He left the text shine on the screen for awhile, reading it over and over again, but it didn’t make it a lie, it didn’terase the truth in the words. He deleted it again until there was only ablinking cursor staring back at him, mockingly challenging him to writesomething that wouldn’t completely destroy the friendship he clung to almosthis whole life.

Newt – 20:30 – Hey! Anyplans for tonight? :)

He hit sent and tossed the phone next to him onthe mattress, leaving it bounce several times before landing screen down,muting the light. He knew what answer to expect and didn’t want to read itanytime soon.

The sleep claimed him almost immediately.

***

“Newtie, you’re getting old,” said Thomas’voice in his dream. It was warm and friendly and Newt imagined him sitting onhis bed, gently stroking his hair while smiling down at him.

“Am I?” he asked back, basking in the raremoment of calmness, free of bitter reality and his own wicked thoughts abouthis best friend.

“Falling asleep so early,” Thomas was stillsmiling and his hand was warm on Newt’s cheek, caressing it. “Is there somethingon your mind?”

“You,” Newt responded back and it was so easyand liberating to say it. “It has always been you.”

The caressing stopped for a fraction of second,but then Thomas was leaning down, tilting Newt’s chin up, and his lips were alittle dry, but Newt loved the kiss anyway. It was soft and gentle, like sailingon waves of serenity and when Thomas started to pull away, he boldly chased hislips, stealing one more kiss before letting go, swiping his tongue over Thomas’lower lip in satisfaction.

“I know it’s a little overdue, but,” Thomas’voice was lower now, huskier, and Newt goddamn loved this kind of dream. He lethis best friend, his unfulfilled love, to sit over him like a knight waking upa princess and it was ridiculous to think about it that way, but it fitted sowell Newt just had to chuckle at the thought.

“What?” There was evident confusion in Thomas’eyes, but Newt wished it away – not here, not now. Thomas, his dream Thomas,understood his thoughts.

“A knight and a sleeping beauty,” he said witha smile and Thomas barked out a laugh.

“Can’t say it doesn’t fit,” he agreed, and Newtfelt more clarity now, more noises came to him. He must have started to wake upand the thought made him sad.

“What I meant to say,” Thomas started talkingagain and Newt started to feel thirsty, like after a night in a hot room, and alittle stuffy. Didn’t he turn off the heating before going to sleep? Damn, itwas already ruining the dream like an apocalypse. “Was that I had beenthinking-,”

“Déjà vu,“ Newt mumbled and then it hit him.

He wasn’t sleeping. This wasn’t a dream. Thomaswas in his room, sitting on his bed, talking to him. Kissing him.

“And you never let me finish,” Thomas sighed,fully in flesh and here and Newtstarted to panic. The terror was setting in his bones like lead and pinned himto the bed with deadly accuracy of somebody, whose sentence was to die in thevery bed, by shame and mortification and so, so much bitterness.

“What are you doing here?” Newt croaked out,his eyes wide, and Thomas didn’t move an inch from his current bent downposition above him. The living nightmare was too cruel now, too merciless.

“You asked me what plans I have, I answered youand you didn’t reply,” Thomas responded with eerie calm for somebody who justgot kissed by his best friend out of the blue. “So I stopped by, auntie saidyou’re in your room and then I found you here sleeping.”

“Oh no,” Newt croaked. “Oh god no.”

“Then I kissed you, you were fine and now you’refreaking out,” Thomas ended the elaboration and added an eyeroll for a goodmeasure. Newt hoped the bed would open and swallow him whole.

“You were a dream!” Newt whined in defence, butunfortunately knew already it wasn’t the case. Thomas was here, and had beenhere when the apparent dream started, and Newt told him things he shouldn’thave, and the world might have ended today and it would be just perfect.

“Nope, not really,” Thomas assured him. “Wait,do you mean you’d kiss only dream me but not real me? Where’s the equality?”

“Thomas, please-,”

“Newt, I know you’re a smart guy,” Thomas didn’tlet him finish. “I know you are. But this is slow even for a snail running dry,just realize it already.”

Newt never felt so scared in his life, sofragile upon hoping in impossible, of Thomas being here, telling him he likedhim back in his own way, and no, it couldn’t be true, it couldn’t be happening.Not after all these years and-

“So I had been thinking,” Thomas started once more,and it was so familiar now, and he even stopped, looked at Newt expectantlylike he was challenging him to interrupt him once more, but Newt remained quietas a mouse, drinking Thomas in. “I had been thinking that we should date.”

Newt was happy the world didn’t end just yet.

[vrenaewrites]

AFTER by Anna Todd thoughts: Prologue - Ch 50

Full video here.

Originally wattpad fanfic about Harry Styles??????

PROLOGUE:

“I didn't know college would be more than academics”

Confused by (her roommate’s friends) inattention to structure: How fucking lame are you

“And that’s when he crept into my heart” Is he italicized in the books i bet it is

Dude’s name is hardin? More like hard-on amirite

CH 1:

It starts with an alarm going off?!?!?!? Rule number one!!!!!

She spends the prologue telling us she’s been prepping for college all her life and then spends a good half a page telling us that again

“Whatever else teenagers else do, that wasn’t me” We got a mary sue here guys

Razor from the knees down - ok virgin - why was this a detail?

Oh shiiii she got a boyfriend? And his name is NOT hardin guys

She told us multiple times that she prepped for this day forever but also keeps saying she has no idea what to expect...does this take place before the internet? Like...google it??

CH 2:

She just said she saw the school online, like you can find pics of the school but you couldn’t find a single youtube video about “what college is really like” foh

So the mom sits in on orientation but is expected to leave before seeing the dorm room how tf that girl supposed to get all her shit up to the dorm?!?!?! Parents usually help you move in??

So the car was packed FULL of her stuff but then she says she only brought clothes and books and her bf doesn’t have much to carry...so what is the truth?

Oh shit her roommate has tattoos

“Where the dorms are tiny and the parties are huge” and this information is fucking earth shattering to tessa and her mom and not-hardin

CH 3:

Two closets in this tiny dorm room…

“College is not what i expected” you said MULTIPLE TIMES you didn’t know what to expect so what is the truth?!!?!?!?

“Both genders” yikes on bikes

CH 4:

HE HAS A THICK ENGLISH ACCENT goodBYE

“Hardin scott is not my boyfriend” okay, so many things. No one fucking talks like that unless they wanna introduce the full name of the love interest in the clunkiest way

Also HS are his initials goodBYEEEEE

CH 5:

“Destroyed his body with holes and tattoos” omg

CH 6:

Hardin is fucking neg that calls her Teresa when she asks to go by Tessa and as someone who constantly gets called Vicki when I ask to go by Viktoria, I am on her side in this instance and this instance only

CH 7:

She is so upset that someone called her prissy but then she can’t even bring herself to think of what those people are doing in the frat house bedrooms

CH 9:

The word bottom. As in, steph pushed her bottom against a guy as she danced with him...BOTTOM

She’s in a bedroom with her drunk roommate and a really great collection of books and I GUARANTEE this is Hardin’s room

Wuthering heights ffs

KNEW IT

CH 10:

And she’s crying

CH 13:

She introduces herself by her full name and landon does the same whyyyyyy who does this?

He’s a nice kid unlike you - i’m shocked at my harsh words

Am i just a bitch or is she the weakest

So they’re just walking and he screams, “Stop staring at me” out of nowhere and walks away...sounds stable

CH 14:

“Noah is my boyfriend and I would never do anything to hurt him” This is what we call foreshadowing my friends

“A man who is rude an intolerable being made into a romantic hero? It’s ridiculous” hardin

Foreshadowing…

She literally just said her boyfriend is like a little brother…ew

“I’m aware that my hips and breasts are larger than most women my age”...women are fully developed at 18...i don’t understand…

Mary sue shit

CH 15:

“She’s intimidated by you because you’re not like other girls” is that a real thing…

“You look...different” - hardin PUKE

“Are you a virgin?” i puked again

No one seems surprised - bitch you dress like a nun

CH 16:

These chapter breaks make no gd sense

“Hormonal college rock n roll misfits”

Immediately takes a shot of vodka

Hardin looks disappointed that she took a shot because she’s not like other girls…

Slut shaming.com / tessa re: molly

CH 17:

“Sorry if i don’t dress like a slut” no you just wear pleated skirts and khakis like a mormon mother

Hardin doesn’t drink OF COURSE they are sober lil bookworms together

I want to be an author. Of course because she is the mary sue of our generation move over bella swan

She’s drinking again after almost puking

CH 18:

“We don’t need to have sex, we have fun by going to the movies...and going on walks” ON WALKS.

OH SHIIIIIIIII THEY KISSIN

CH 19:

This girl has never been horny before and she cannot cope with the feeling

Am i bad a person for feeling like “Well she already cheated by kissing him, might as well keep kissing him?” like i know that’s wrong but…

CH 20:

Oh my god she’s not telling her boyfriend that she kissed someone else??!?!?

Oh shiii hardin’s in her dorm

HER MOM IS AT THE DOOR

WITH NOAH?!?!?!?!?!

When i say weakass you say bitch

CH 21:

The fork at breakfast reminds her of hardin’s lip ring….

She just called Hardin Mr. Rude. “Mr. struggle” lol anyone else watch Cody Ko??

Noah won’t kiss her in public and she does NOT get horny with him

CH 22:

Pride and prejudice is not a magical book tessa

Landon’s mom and hardin’s dad?! Oh shiiiii

“Are you ocd or something” christ

Literally he’s throwing her notes all over the floor like what a four year old

“Eyes burning into mine” AGAIN

They kissin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh shit they doin MORE than kissing

“You’re so sexy tess” I PUKED

Steph’s eyes are clapping with glee?????

“You could learn a lot from Hardin, like, sexually” - steph

okay………

CH 23:

They’re talking about the use of foreshadowing in pride and prejudice about if you could tell that darcy and elizabeth would end up together…

What kinda hamfisted shit…

And then she and hardin get in a screaming match about their situation but it’s coded in darcy and elizabeth language like come onnnnnnn

So much twilight vibes: “your mood swings give me a headache” “i should stay away from him, i know he’s dangerous” dangerous how? Because he has tattoos?

FIRST FULL BODY CRINGE: “You’re thinking about me and you have that feeling, down there, don’t you, teresa?”

Twilight: “i don’t wanna stay away from you”

CH 24:

“He really is bipolar” dude

She likes bon iver and the fray...of course she does

CH 25:

SHE FOLLOWED THIS STRANGER INTO THE WOODS

No murderino instinct at all

“He must be cold in the warm ass water because he can’t be getting flushed seeing me, a girl he’s made out with multiple times and is obviously attracted to, in nothing but his t-shirt” bitch COME ON

“I’m having real fun, not watching a movie fun”

This is such a dig at noah who she says doesn’t need to fuck her because they watch movies together

SECOND FULL BODY CRINGE: “These lips, the things you could do with them”

THIRD: “Oh Hardin,” I moan and squeeze him with my legs. “I want to make you moan my name over and over again” - hardin

My hormones are out of control - who is thinking about their hormones at this point

FOURTH: She goes to cover up and he’s like don’t ever cover yourself from me, i’ve been with so many girls but none like you

And they’re not gonna do it but “there are many other things he wants to do to her first” and at this point my body is contorted like a jumbo shrimp

FIFTH: The whole fingering scene honestly. Just all of it. He made her towel off with his shirt...am I missing something? She had already put her pants on...what’s the point of that???

SIXTH: “You haven’t said a word to me since” - “since i gave you your first orgasm?”

CH 26:

Wtf is this dude’s problem? She ignores her boyfriend’s call to keep making out with him and he’s like “don’t break up with him on my account, there’s no us going on” like dude y’all just went on a date...so you can keep saying you don’t date...but you just did…

CH 27:

She’s so selfish!!!! Calling Noah because she got rejected by Hardin!!!!!!!! Noah deserves better 2k20

And then she mentions it in front of Hardin to make him jealous WTF

Hardin petty ass Scott says, “noah, that’s a nice cardigan you’re wearing”

Thanks I got it from the gap!!!!!!!11

CH 28:

SEVEN: Tessa wants noah to get her horny so she keeps trying to kiss him and when he won’t let anything happen she stops and he says, “that was nice, tessa”

Tessa takes noah’s car to go help hardin and leaves noah in her dorm room alone when he drove 3 hours to see her!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CH 29:

Hardin toxic asshole Scott threw a hissy fit and tessa comes to save the day

He dresses her little glass cut after telling her she’s pathetic...woof

CH 30:

Holy manipulation station nation

Then he forces himself on her and her dumb bitch ass KISSES HIM!!!!!

BECAUSE HE SAID HE NEEDED HER, THAT’S ALL IT TOOK

Cringe throughout: that she describes his lips as pink. It’s weird as fuck.

EIGHT: “You know who i think you are when you’re with me?” “Who?” “yourself”

CH 31:

NINE: He’s telling her if she says the word he’ll leave her alone: “Tell me teresa,” he coos, and i whimper. “Hardin,” i whisper. WHY?

SHE IS GONNA STAY WITH HARDIN WHILE NOAH IS WAITING FOR HER?!?!?!?!!??!

CH 32:

“I don’t know if it’s his smile or the fact that he’s only in boxers, but I’m in a much better mood than before” you skank ass hoe

TEN: He says her clothes hide how sexy and curvy her body really is. Sexy and curvy. Both.

CH 33:

ELEVEN: “I know this happiness isn’t going to last” - the happiness being her straddling this guy that isn’t her boyfriend - “and i feel like cinderella waiting for the clock to strike midnight”

“I can behave any way i want with hardin tonight, because in the morning i’m going to tell him to leave me alone forever” HUH

TWELVE: I am just as intoxicated by hardin, as hardin is by the bottle of scotch he drank

THIRTEEN: Who is this girl straddling this punk boy and asking to touch him...down there?

CH 34:

FOURTEEN: He says he wants to taste her and this dumb bitch licks her lips like “yeah we been kissing wtf” and he says “no, down there” EW

CH 35:

Noah standing up for himself!!!!!

FIFTEEN: Then he calls them those gothic people...gothic? Not goth. Gothic.

HARDIN DONE BARGED IN!!!!!!

CH 36:

Hardin and Noah about to get into it!

Hardin making tessa be honest with noah OMG THE DRAMA

SIXTEEN: I am a moth to hardin’s flame and he never hesitates to burn me

CH 39:

Tessa gets a makeover to go out with steph and i KNOW she’s gonna see hardin and they’re gonna be inappropriate in public

And hardin is here OF COURSE

Oooh and he’s with molly! Tea

She is a slut - TESSA NO

Chapter 37: hardin will ruin tess if she ever comes around again chapter 39: he’s driving her home and making sure her burger doesn’t have ketchup

CH 40:

Noah will get back with tessa if she promises nothing with happen with hardin and we are only halfway through this book BITCH

CH 41:

Oh he drunk and at tessa’s dorm

This BITCH. JUST. GOT. BACK.TOGETHER. WITH. NOAH. AND. IS. GETTING. IN. BED. WITH. HARDIN. TO. WATCH. A. MOVIE.

CH 42:

He picks her up and forces her to sleep in the bed with him despite her saying no

CH 44:

She admits to herself that sleeping beside hardin is worth losing noah and then is trying to talk herself into believing that noah is hotter than hardin????

“You don’t need makeup” “well i like it” “well you’re bad at it” negging ass

This man at the store says, “hardin?” in an english accent and she’s like “i knew it was his dad” well how many fucking english dudes are in this small washington town my friend

This bitch agrees to go to dinner with hardin’s dad knowing damn well he and his dad are NOT on good terms...she’d be walking home…

CH 45:

And then because he doesn’t wanna go to dinner with his abandoning father, she says she’s gonna go to his dad’s house for dinner with ANOTHER DUDE?!?!?!?!?!?

She ignores noah’s call

It is stressing me tf out that she isn’t calling noah back and is instead getting ready for a date with hardin’s family...this poor cardigan wearing man

CH 46:

I LITERALLY DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE FAMILY!!!!!!!! GET BACK TO THE CRINGE NEGGING AND ALMOST-BONING

CH 47:

“He rubs the back of his neck like he always does” - this is the first time he’s done this??

CH 48:

SEVENTEEN: “Oh tessa the things you do to me”

Fingers her without asking?!?!?!?!?!?! She literally says “Without my permission”

CH 49:

She is staying at hardin’s family’s house for the night, asks for her own room because she has a boyfriend - YOU JUST GOT EATEN OUT BY ANOTHER DUDE FIVE MINUTES AGO

~~~~

[jerepars]

Ape Dos Mil Extended Chapter Notes

1 / 9 Skeptics and True Believers

Hyperlinks appear in blue (underlined on mobile and the dashboard). The story is posted here. 

She knew she hated him from the moment she laid eyes on him. Teresa’s parents had died when she was a little girl and she’d practically raised herself, so she didn’t exactly have any role models to set an example for her and teach her to be mild mannered, or to teach her that hate was not the opposite of love. She was emotionally driven, and the things she felt, she felt deep in her soul. But anyway, it was a matter of principle. She hated him. Teresa was in Dallas, in Camila Vargas’ warehouse where the prostitutes and drug mules slept, and he was in the space that could be considered the bullpen. When their eyes met for the very first time, she felt the fire ignite and build inside her chest, her heart like a caged bird trying to escape her ribs, blood thick as lead in her anger.

I don’t...I don’t know why writing about Jeresa brings up so many Saves the Day references for me. Maybe because a lot of the imagery in the lyrics are kind of extreme? It’s not a direct reference but the last sentence, with the part about her heart trying to escape her ribs was written with “You Vandal” in mind: yeah my ribs have parted ways, said ‘we’re not going to protect this heart you have’.

James was the carrot Camila dangled in front of everyone—the girls and the sicarios—to get them to do what she wanted. He was the Taylor Vaughan in the world of the warehouse; everyone would either willingly fuck someone’s shit up to be him, or, they would lose their shit to be fucked by him. It seemed to suit him—looking good while doing bad things. He was who they could never be, or never be with, and that was exactly how Camila wanted it.

She’s All That is back on Netflix and I couldn’t help myself. In my mind, there’s this whole backstory of Teresa watching teen cult rom coms growing up, and that’s why she speaks English so well when she lands in Dallas, but this part of the story definitely wasn’t the appropriate time to elaborate on that (there may never be an appropriate time to elaborate on that, lol). But she knows who Taylor Vaughan is, from seeing the movie. The way James is likened to Taylor Vaughan (portrayed by Jodi Lyn O’Keefe) is because of a line said by Dean Sampson (Paul Walker’s character) near the beginning of the movie. Dean says, “Every girl wants to be her, and every guy wants to nail her” (0:47).

This is an idea I’ve been thinking about for a while. Because Camila is certainly not dumb. James sets the bar for everyone, and it’s a standard that they can’t compete with or for. It’s like putting James in his position is her slapping them in the face with a “you wish”. James and Camila both know that, and Teresa is smart enough to figure it out quickly.

But James was good at his job. Even after he got Teresa riled up, even after she called him an asshole, even after he told her she was going to die, he got her into the custodian’s closet and she threw up every last baggie of coke. He was so good at his job, in fact, that when she was barely hanging on, declared she could not possibly go any further, he’d decided, no, it wasn’t her moment to tap out yet. James pulled the bottle of soap out of the dispenser and poured it into her mouth until she heaved on her own gag reflex one more time and the last three bags came up.

This chapter is named after “Skeptics and True Believers” by The Academy Is... . The paragraph mentions that Teresa was barely hanging on because of the part of the song that goes: near death, last breath, and barely hanging on. It also seemed fitting because it’s a story about about soulmates, after all, and it is made clear that both Teresa and James believe in soulmates.

There’s one more song reference here. The part about James deciding it’s not Teresa’s time to tap out yet is because of PUP’s “Kids”: And I had it maxed out. I had a feeling, oh. Nothing is working. And everything's bleeding, oh. I should've tapped out. Given into my demons, oh.

This is a really interesting moment for Teresa, because we know how strong she is, that she’s a survivor and fighter. But she says she can’t do it, she can’t throw up anything else. She’s defeated, which is understandable because it’s not everything she’s going through is easy. It’d be easier to give in and give up, right? But James doesn’t let her tap out and takes over when he pours the soap in her mouth to make sure she can, makes sure she survives.

“What time is it?” Teresa kept her eyes on the groud, avoiding the light from the warehouse windows illuminating the dust motes in the air.

“It’s almost three,” James said flatly, then emphasized, “PM.”

Teresa let out a long sigh but didn’t respond to his badgering.

“Get up,” James muttered. “You’re coming with me.”

She finally looked up at him and made eye contact, squinting slightly against the afternoon light, but didn’t make a move to get up. James rubbed his fingers against his thumb impatiently. She sat still.

“Where?” Teresa asked.

Okay, listen, when I use dialogue from the show I turn on the closed captions to make sure that it’s all exact to what is said in the scene. That being said, I’ve seen and watched this scene so. many. times. I turned the volume to max in my headphones as I edited this to make sure I hadn’t been mishearing it this whole time. The Netflix closed captions claim that James says “come with me” but I just don’t buy that. I swear what he says is “you’re coming with me”. If I’m wrong, I’m sorry that I wrote it in wrong. (But I don’t think I am.)

“Mil gracias, Jaime.” Charger was already waving him off, typing out a message to the supposed professional cheerleader. “Quiet night in for you and the hot redhead tonight?”

James has a lot of nicknames from George. Boaz calls him Santiago. There’s a quick moment from 2x06 where Guero is speaking Spanish and calls him Jaime. In the translated closed caption, he says, “look here, James” (0:23), but you can hear him say Jaime. I can’t have Guero being the only one to call him that (lol) so I decided that maybe a lot of the warehouse guys call him that when they speak to him in Spanish.

Teresa’s back was turned to him as he approached, making her bed. James meant to ask if she was ready to go but his voice got caught in his throat when he saw how she’d made the bed. Even though it was a thin foam mattress on a rusty frame, she’d made her space stand out. It was nice and neat, a clean line folded into the corner. It was the same way nurses made beds in the infirmary and the way soldiers did in the barracks. James believed there were certain skills from boot camp that could never be unlearned. It was how he made the bed.

When I said I’d come up with the weirdest soulmates fic ever based on the tiniest detail, I wasn’t kidding around. When Guero leads the DEA to the empty warehouse in Dallas, he knows which bed was Teresa’s because he sees the corner folded over. Then there’s a flashback scene to Mexico, with Teresa telling him she makes the bed that way because her mom was a nurse and taught her that way. 

James was in the military. He was a soldier. He would have had to have made it through boot camp. He would have to know how to make those hospital corners.

And that being a thing they have in common was screaming out at me to take it in a literal sense: it’s why they’re soulmates. And, even further, it’s how they find out they’re soulmates.

The gears kept turning in my head. Because what if they don’t come to the realization at the same time? What if only one of them knows? It changes everything about their dynamic and why they do the things they do for each other through the first three seasons.

James knew Teresa was trouble. He’d told her as much, with some snarl in his voice and his eyes narrowed, as the sound of bass from the speakers in Camila’s club thumped into their conversation the night before. Pointing out the dangerous nature Teresa possessed was a warning—to her and to himself—not to get too close so she didn’t pull him down with her. The feeling he couldn’t place when he was around her would land him in serious trouble if he wasn’t careful. And he had plans for a future, completely separate and away from the Vargas cartel.

Looks like I went in hard with the pop punk references for this one. There’s a song by New Found Glory called “Don’t Let Her Pull You Down” that made me go with the phrasing that’s in this paragraph. 

All things considered, it probably was an act of betrayal on the universe’s part. The odds of someone dying on their birthday were so much better than all of the stars aligning. It was why people made their plans and chose to love without the universe in mind.

One more pop punk song reference in name only. That’s just how my dumb brain works. I’ll write sentences because I think of lyrics or song titles (or both). This time it was Senses Fail’s  “The Irony of Dying on Your Birthday”.

[qrhymes]

Tales of Berseria Analysis - Laphicet (Phi)’s and Eizen’s character arcs - Coexistence and Romanticism.

Three and counting.

I don’t have problem with child characters (And when I talk about child characters, I mean genuine child characters, no adults or teenagers looking like children or immortal children or characters that age different and looks like child but in reality are legally adults…they are a complete different subject)…conceptually. I don’t like when they are used as plot devices, I don’t like when they are pointless and I specially dislike when they behave like fucking adults without a motive. 

…Therefore you may suppose that I really like Elise from Xillia 

…and you would be right reader, I love her, she is a great character and Teepo would be the best Tales mascot if not for Rollo…

(…He is a god in comparison with other anime (Videogame) mascots…)

But if you want to have a child character, with clear motives, good development, a meaningful arc, etc. I say go for it, and make it great…and Laphicet (Phi) is indeed great.

First of all, he is adorable, he can cast Indignation and he also is the middle-ground between emotion and reason that the game wants to reach.

If Eleanor is the constant inner-conflict between the ideas, Phi would be their natural coexistence.

Phi starts as blank page, a puppet just referred as Number 2 and a representation of the Malakin subdue for the Abbey, then he is “taken” from Teresa and joins for the party and then…he just start to learn, to grow, to know these flawed people…and even if he cannot understand the totality of each one, he can acknowledge the inner goodness that he sees in each one of them. And in that matter, we as the players get to know a lot more of the cast trough his interaction with him (Eleanor also serves to this purpose but is with Phi that we get to know the best of the party because…). He is an adorable, cute and innocent child and the party, conscientiously or not, TRIES (and I emphasize the tries, because wanting it or not, the Menagerie is still the Menagerie and there is still conflict here, these most notorious been Velvet’s seen him as a replace for her brother, that gets resolve in a really heartwarming scene, I loved that scene… or Rokuro intent to kill him during the encounter with Kurogane) to be the best to him, teaching him, explaining and in reward we, and Phi, have this amazing little insiders for each one of the party members; Velvet’s first redeemable traits are shown us thanks to her interactions with Phi, seen Rokuro and Eizen playing the wiser older brothers is hilarious, Am I right, Rhinostragros? But it also let see us that Rokuro and Eizen have a genuine concern about been good examples for Phi with they “Don’t be like us” and fuck it, some of the first shades to Magilou’s true character are through her interaction with Phi. And in the end he takes the best all of this knowledge and experiences, this great and epic journey, and grows thanks to that travel.

He is the moral compass of these less than perfect people (Eleanor also tries to play this role, although with less success than Phi) and thanks to him we get to know the better of them.

He is also the best developed character in the cast and seen him grow from this helpless and quiet child to this determined badass who will fight for what he thinks is right (And been honest, leaving Magilou’s monologues to Melchior, he has the best scenes in the game)

“Eat my arm! I don’t care just leave me the other one! I need It to clobber the jerk who made my Velvet cry!”)

It is just fucking amazing.

In regard as his ending as Maotelus (And his eventual fate in Zestiria)…Is fitting. This kid that was nourished for this amazing journey with Velvet and the Menagerie, for all of these different experiences, points of views and teachings…He grows assimilating both ideologies and now he stands as the ideal manifestation (With Eleanor been the practical) of the healthy coexistence of reason and emotion…and the literal hope to reach Velvet’s endless and idyllic dream, …it gets the better of me in the same way that Velvet does and it’s just a beautiful ending for Phi’s arc and the game.

And that was the four…Uff…uff…you know what they say about pointless worries…

…MAGIKAZAMAZAMAZAM…

Eizen is awesome; he has the height, the posture, the voice, the long coat, the quotes, the family connections, the dorkiness, the “Perfect Mayhem” one of the most kickass designs of the franchise, his character screams “I’m fucking badass”

…Badass indeed…

…he is also one of the most interesting members of the cast.

Eizen is 1000 years old Malak afflicted for The Reaper’s curse which cause misfortune to the people that surrounds him, he is also a pirate, the second mate of The Aifread’s pirates, who ends joining Velvet quest in order to seek pass through one of the Abbey’s fortress and later for the possibility to find clues of the missing Captain Aifread whose disappearance maybe connected with one of the highest ranks of the Abbey.

Eizen is pirate, a ruthless thief, a man with little regards for the rules of the Abbey or the Kingdom, someone who has no moral compass other than his own convictions, an intrepid and dorkish adventurer who travels the eleven seas for the pure joy of doing it, loyal to his crew, to his captain, and his creed…

Wait a minute…He is still a bad guy, right?…

Let me see, thief? Check. Inclination to punching people? Check. Does business with morally questionable people? Check….oh he is also a second in command of a well knowing pirate crew…double check …then why he still looks like he could be one the good pirate characters in One Piece?…Well because that is the point.

In the same way that One Piece (Or the first Pirates of the Caribbean) explore a heavy romanticize vision of what a pirate is, Eizen is the romanticize vision of what a life led by emotions is. His arc doesn’t deal with themes like obsession or blindness or about losing yourself in your own overwhelming emotions (through there is something like that in regard to his arc during the Zaveid side quest, but is played in a different manner but don’t worry we’ll get there) like Rokuro’s or Velvet’s. No, his arc revolve about why emotions are so important for us and how following our own path, our own believes, is the only way to live our own life to the fullest, and in that regard he is the biggest contrast with the oppressive ways of the Abbey.

Eizen is someone that live adventures with his friends, he travels to exotic places, he doesn’t answer to anyone, a man that values his freewill above anything else and that will not letting that anything or anyone take it away from him, but as I said in the begging he’s not an auto-destructive person nor an anarchist, he plays the role of the lovable rogue (Despite that we actually don’t see much of thesem because the game isn’t about the adventures of Eizen and Benwick in the Van Eltia) with a stoic attitude and tough demeanor but also with a heart of gold a dork and in that regard he is the most enjoyable and funny member of the party (Aside for certain witch)…he is the most open to express his appreciation for the group aside for Phi, maybe, his completely honest fanboy rants about history or relics or just expressing his more pure inner feelings about his ways of life…He is amazing…Live hard and day young, Am I right, Eizen?… but in that regard, how many people have the raw muscle to decide their own fate? But even more important than that. Do you have it, Eizen?

Eizen has a role in the narrative and goal in the game, but they are just little bifurcations in a much greater story about Eizen fighting his own fate.

His natural affinity as an earth Malak, The Reaper curse, the laws of the Abbey, the Malevolence that slowly has started to overcome him and even the event of the game are no more than other rock blocking his way to…well, nothing. Eizen journey is just an endless resistance test that will have an abrupt end (In the context of the life spam of Malikhim/Seraphim), a romantic one for sure, fighting for the sake of the word against a future Lord of Calamity, and later, after becoming a dragon, killed as a way of saving him and putting him to rest of his madness state, but an end after all.

Eizen’s story is one of a man against the world, an endless path which mere travel through him symbolize the quest of men for freedom in his lives…Eizen is the coolest, and he was made to be the coolest, a romantic hero who has been throw it in a cynical story about clashing ideas as one of the idealist and inspirational parts of the emotion side…and again he does amazing in his job.

Part 1: Tales Series Retrospective

Part 2: The Elements of a Wonderfull Game

Part 3: Velvet’s character arc - Blindness and toxicity

Part 4: Rokuro’s and Eleanor’s character arc - Obsession and Conflict.

Part 6: Magilou’s character arc - Contradictions.

[animepandaswag1]

Newt Request

So this is one of my favorite imagines I've done Requested by emmie_dubdub (wattpad) "maybe you can do that y/n and Newt are in the scorch, and Newt is very protective and always stays by her side :)" Yup, here we go again --- ~~~This will be more based off the movie~~~ You had just escaped W.I.C.K.E.D and filed out into the sandy earth, running up a steep hill. Thomas, Teresa, and Minho were on your right, Newt, Aris, Winston, and Frypan on your left. The world was vacant, filled with sand and the remains of old buildings that haven't been completely destroyed. The world had become this big sandbox, now filled with creatures and people in one. "...Wow" Newt breathed out, the scene capturing all of your guy's thoughts. "Well what's your plan now shank?" Minho asked Thomas which resulted in all of you to turn towards Thomas "Well...uh...," he trailed looking around "How about we go to that building over there, see if anything or anyone is there" he stated starting to walk away from us. "Looks like we're following him" Teresa stated sounding a bit sarcastic. So you guys started your way. The building that felt really close from the sandy hill was, in reality, farther away than thought. As you guys were walking, Newt came up to you. "Hey y/n" he stated wrapping his arm around your waist. You blushed a little and replied "H-hi Newt" Newt and you were...different. You guys would constantly flirt with each other but neither one of you had the guts to go up to the other and say something. Even though Newt was a flirt, he was really really kind. He always made sure you were ok in the glade. If you had the tiniest of scars he would rush you over to the Med-Jacks so they could get a band-aid for you immediately. Newt was such a nice guy and you really loved him. "So y/n, are you ok, do you need anything" "No I'm fine Newt, thanks" you replied leaning your head on his shoulder. Soon you guys reached the destroyed and somewhat decaying building. "Let's go look inside" Thomas stated keeping his ground and staying alert. The building seemed to resemble some type of...mall your guessing, with escalators and different sections. Sections that would've been stores had it not been for the scorch that destroyed the earth. Thomas decided you guys should split up so Minho, Newt, and you went with him and Teresa went with the rest of the guys. She kind of gave you a side glance and nudged you towards Newt. You blushed when you hit his body and tried to apologize. He simply laughed and brought you closer to him, your face burning. You turned to look at Teresa, who gave you 2 thumbs up and a wink. Once you guys went separate ways, you both looked for supplies that could help you. You guys had found some clothes to change into. You had found some old boots and dusted them off, along with a few shirts, pants, and a really nice jacket. "May I?" Newt asked gesturing towards the jacket "Oh uh yeah" you replied handing it to him. He gently brought the jacket up to your body. You slid your arms into the sleeves and adjusted it. You then turned around to show Newt the jacket. "You look...absolutely...stunning" he stated in-between pauses. This made you blush again and reply with a quiet 'thank you'. The moment was perfect. You looked into his soft chocolate brown eyes and he looked in yours. Your breathing hitched a little as it seemed Newt was leaning in. Your heart raced with every passing second, thumping loudly as you gradually leaned in as well. Your guys' lips were close in contact. One more inch in and you'd be kissing the guy you truly loved deep down in your heart. Everything was going smoothly. You two had almost kissed until you heard distant footsteps. They seemed to be...running...running towards you and Newt. You then heard screams. Screams that seemed of terror and agony. Oh no you thought looking towards the source of sounds. What you saw then horrified you. Your guessing Thomas and Minho had walked a little far from you and Newt and were now screaming at you guys to run because behind them was a big wave of cranks ready to claw at their flesh. Newt looked at you and nodded. You quickly nodded back and both of you guys ran further ahead, signaling Teresa and the other guys to get their things and get moving. You were scared and shocked at the same time. Your heart was beating faster then you could ever imagine, restraining itself from ripping out of your chest. Your legs were tired and you didn't feel like running anymore. You quickly glanced back at the now growing crowd of cranks and decided running was what would keep you alive. The panic. The fear. Thousands of thoughts raced through your head as you kept running. Come on y/n, keep running, don't ever stop you told yourself, pushing past your limits. You guys had found a door but it was locked. "Someone help, it's locked!" Thomas yelled, frantically trying to break the lock on the door. Minho and Frypan rushed over to help him with breaking the lock. "I'll hold them off" Winston yelled back, picking up one of the many guns you guys had managed to steal. POW POW POW The anticipating fear almost made you throw up. Newt held on to you tightly. He would put his life on the line for you any time in the face of danger. You could hear his heart beating harder and faster than ever before. You tried to keep your heart rate down and your fear away but with the cranks on the way it made it harder for you to even possibly think straight. Your ears perked up at the sound of a metal chain snapping and the yells of Thomas rushing you guys out the door. You and Newt instantly ran forward, getting through the door to the other side. The next few parts were like a blur. Everything seemed to go at its own consistent rate. The cranks. The yells. Winston. The running. It just seemed to go by. Sooner or later you were a long side Newt, crouching down and staying completely silent. Thomas led you guys underneath a somewhat rocky and crumbled up ledge that hid you guys from the cranks point of view. You finally had a moment to steady your heart rate and try to breath normally. Once the coast was clear you instantly slumped into a more comfortable position. Your legs were exhausted and appreciated the rest you could now give to them. Being in the glade, you weren't a runner, so this extra running made you tired. Newt settled in next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and bringing you in closer to his body. He lightly kissed your forehead, making you blush for the thousandth time. "Are you ok y/n?" He asked giving you attention "I'm good, thanks Newt" you replied grasping one of his hands and interlocking his fingers with yours. They fit like a perfect pair a shoes. "So, about that moment back there..." He trailed off getting a bit quiet. You could obviously tell he was talking about the almost kiss you guys shared. "Yeah um about that-" you had trailed off to the sound of Winston groaning. Your head instantly snapped towards his direction, as well as the others. Thomas and Newt rushed to his side and frantically looked over his body. Winston weakly pulled up his shirt to reveal a dark blackish purple slash on his skin. The cranks had got him back there. The atmosphere seemed to tense up a little at the look of the slash. It's puss glistening, making you feel nauseous. You quickly looked away and felt bad for the guy. He basically sacrificed his life for you guys, holding back cranks isn't easy. You slowly closed your eyes, trying to hold back the tears threatening to escape your eyes. Deep breaths you told yourself, just try to calm down. Your guys' best bet was to let him rest. "Tomorrow we'll start to look for the safe haven" Thomas piped up, trying to start a conversation that would get your minds off of Winston. You all nodded signaling you were listening but didn't feel like talking. Newt resumed his position next to you and wrapped you in his arms, scooting you closer to him. "Just let it out" he quietly whispered which triggered the rush of tears held in your eyes to come freely falling down. He gently rubbed your back as you sobbed into his chest. After a while of crying you just sat in his arms. You really really loved Newt. Everything about him was just amazing, but the thing you truly loved about Newt was his heart. He was such a caring guy and made sure everyone was ok, especially you. The others had set up there tiny camps and fell asleep, leaving you and Newt to be the only ones awake. He gently lifted your chin up, making you come face to face with him. He then lightly caressed your cheek, which gave you extreme butterflies and caused your face to heat up. "Y/n," he started out "I've been needing to tell you this for a while now." That comment alone made you shudder with anticipation. "So a-about that scene back there" he stuttered a bit, his face now showing a lightly tinted pink. He took a deep breath before letting all of his emotions pour out. "Y/n y/m/n y/l, every time I look at you...sparks fly. You've got me under a trance with your amazing good looks and your beautiful smile. Your absolutely breath taking and I love every minute, every hour of the day, I get to spend with you. Not only are you lovable and really adorable, you're insanely smart. The way you think and just how you do things make me go wild. You are simply perfect in my eyes and I want you to know that I truly, deep down inside my heart, love you, with a burning passion. I love you y/n, and I just wanted you to know that" he ended, his face even more pink than before. Your mind was a million places, your thoughts screaming and running around like there was no tomorrow. The boy you loved just told you he loves you back. Not only that, but the fact that you could hear his voice dripping with passionate emotion, knowing that every word that came out of his mouth was real, made you feel like no other. Your eyes began to water. Joy Happiness You looked at Newt who seemed to be nervous, probably awaiting your reaction and thinking of all worst scenarios. You simply smiled, wrapped your hands around his neck, and brought his face to yours. Your lips danced in sync with his, gracefully locking on to each other. His lips left a trail of kisses down your neck, every touch leaving tingles as you ran your fingers through his hair. As he trailed his way back up he left one more sweet kiss on your lips before lifting your chin up to face him. "I love you y/n and I swear from this day on I will protect you, even if it costs my life" he stated looking into your eyes. From this day forward Newt protected you with his life while in the scorch and you couldn't love him anymore. --End-- Ok so there's another request done. Late yes but it's done. I hope you shanks enjoyed this request and I'll try to get in some more at a different time.