#(LE traumatic flashbacks)

[yuikomorii]

// I’m sorry, fellow Ayato stans, but I was in a mood for angst. :”)

[goodwhump-temp]

Shawn Spencer Whump | Psych

1x02 Spellingg Bee - Motorcycle crash, hospital, knee brace, limp, bumps into bin, pain 1x03 Woman Seeking Dead Husband - Held at gunpoint x2 1x05 Lives - Held at gunpoint 1x06 Weekend Warriors - Held at gunpoint 1x15 Scary Sherry - Nightmare

2x02 65 Million Years Off - Shot at, scared 2x03 Psy vs Psy - Hostage 2x04 Zero to Murder in 60s - Brief boo-boo (chair race sabatoged) 2x05 And Down the Stretch... - Childhood bully 2x07 If You're So Smart... - Bullied by children 2x09 Bounty Hunters! - Handcuffed, jumps off boat, held at gunpoint 2x13 Lights, Camera… - Nearly nailed to death (38:00), character funeral 2x15 Black and Tan - Sad (18:30) 2x16 Shawn (and Gus) of the Dead - Mummy 'curse'

3x01 Ghosts - [Flashback; emo/arrested] Increasingly angry about mothers' return, confrontation, heartbroken 3x04 Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable - Shot at, chased x3, restrained, held at helicopter-point and gunpoint, betrayed 3x06 There Might Be Blood - Held at gunpoint, dangerous confrontation 3x08 Gus Walks Into A Bank - Held back, worried, bank hostage, tight gus hug, manhandled 3x10 Six Feet Under the Sea - Held at gunpoint 3x11 Lassie Did a Bad, Bad Thing - Punched unconscious, hostage, held at gunpoint, pistol whipped, fatherly care, nearly passes out (40:15) 3x12 Earth, Wind And… - Runs into burning building, oxygen mask, held at firepoint, caught in burning building, briefly thought dead, coughing/smoke inhalation 3x13 Any Given Friday Night at 10PM - 'Abducted' 3x14 Truer Lies - Held at gunpoint 3x15 Tuesday the 17th - 'Trips', held at 'knifepoint' 3x16 An Evening with Mr. Yang - Angry, mom held hostage, scared, heartbroken

4x01 Extradition: British Colombia - Held at gunpoint x2 4x02 He Dead - Daddy issues 4x03 High Noon-ish - Stampede/pushed, falls into mineshaft, pain, held at gunpoint, trapped 4x04 Devil is in the Details… - Confession 4x05 Shawn Gets the Yips - Scared/dumb ("bomb" on treadmill) 4x06 Bollywood Homicide - Slapped (39:15) 4x07 High Top Fade Out - Held at gunpoint, shot at 4x09 Shawn Takes A Shot in the Dark - Shot, abducted/missing, bleeding, pain, knocked unconscious, choked, jumps on moving car, weak, sling 4x10 You Can't Handle This Episode - Shot at 4x12 A Very Juliet Episode - Held at gunpoint, punched x2, knocked down x2, kicked 4x16 Mr. Yin Presents - Nightmare, angry, heartbroken x2, fatherly love

5x01 Romeo & Juliet & Juliet - Held at gunpoint, falls through window, kicked through wall, insane dodging skillz, knocked down, sore 5x03 Not Even Close, Encounters - Held at gunpoint/abducted by 'aliens' 5x04 Chivalry is Not Dead - Hanging upside down (tomato face), poisoned, collapse, hospital, unconscious 5x07 Ferry Tale - Held at gunpoint x2, hostage, kicked in the face, tear gas inhalation, restrained, trips/tumbles down a hill 5x09 One, Maybe Two, Ways Out - Seriously heartbroken 5x12 Dual Spires - Trapped in burning house 5x13 We'd Like to Thank the Academy - Held at gunpoint x2 5x16 Yang 3 in 2D - Held at shotgunpoint, scared

6x01 Shawn Rescues Darth Vader - Jumps off roof 6x02 Last Night Gus - Hungover, stressed, jumps from balcony, shot at 6x04 Amazing Psych-Man & Tap-Man - Trips, found unconscious, punched, kicked x2, thrown, sand to the eye, exhausted 6x06 Shawn Interrupted - Mental patient, hands covered, knocked unconscious, restrained, held at gunpoint 6x09 Neil Simons Lover Retreat - Robbed, heartbroken x2 (29:35), smile through the pain (42:00) 6x10 Indiana Shawn and the Temple - Hand stuck, slapped, manhandled, held at gunpoint, 'crying' 6x13 Let's Doo-Wap it Again - Appendicitis, collapse, hospital drama-queen, held at gunpoint, drugged, drugs wear off, le rigor mortis, le pain, le kitty cat! 6x16 Santabarbaratown - Held at knifepoint, knocked unconscious, black-eye

7x01 Santabarbaratown 2 - Scared, angry, thrown, active mine, held at gunpoint x3, Lassie love 7x02 Juliet Takes A Luvvah - Traumatized (27:00) 7x03 Lassie Jerky - Shot at, held at gunpoint 7x04 No Country For Two Old Men - Held at gunpoint 7x06 Cirque Du Soul - Pain from pull-ups 7x07 Deez Nups - Huge confession, heartbroken 7x08 Right Turn Or Left For Dead - Insomnia, regret, depressed, head slammed into glass, bruise, concussion, denial, stabbed, nearly hit by truck, headache, tackled 7x11 Office Space - Poked x2, trips, bloody nose, scared, framed 7x14 No Trout About It - Painful yoga, choked, fired

8x01 Lock, Stock… - Held at gunpoint, "restrained" 8x05 COG Blocked - Jumpscared out of hammock, painful poke, body decked by cane, held at gunpoint 8x07 Shawn & Gus Truck Things Up - Hand squeezed painfully 8x09 Nightmare on State Street - Slapped, zombie 8x10 The Break-Up - Nervous, held at gunpoint, shot at, emotional

[lizasweetling]

Ohohohoo!!

I think Klaus paid plenty of mind to the political remifications and what this meant for how hard Gil was to hide, but I do wonder-

Gil himself said that breakthrough is usually traumatic, even if he was unclear on cause and effect between the trauma and the spark igniting- with Klaus' focus of study, it seems likely that he knows that, or even that that observation was something he himself documented.

So I'm just throwing some bombastic sideye at the idea that he saw Gil having friendship-related-trauma and... to appearances never made the connection between the nonsense with Tarvek and this unsubtle display.

Admittedly, we haven't seen a representative sample of Spark breakthroughs, but Agatha's was very problem-solving oriented. She was missing her locket and angry that Von Zinzer and his brother took it and made a clank to go fetch him (them?) about it. With the implied time frame and Zoing's stated purpose- Gil was lonely and wanted a friend so he made one (and did a great job, I must say) The implied emotional state and desires are not hard to spot.

I suppose it's possible that he did make the connection and simply concluded that his judgement was sound (v in character of him. Le Sigh) and that Gil's heartbreak over Tarvek was inevitable and probably even this was the preferable outcome compared to Tarvek having a more substantial influence over him as he grew. and thus intentionally did nothing with the information.

Honestly I really want to see Klaus and Tarvek interact now because I don't think they ever have outside the flashback about Tarvek and Gil's falling out- and this confirmation should theoretically also mean Klaus might actually remember Tarvek and the incident when they were boys, and that's just fascinating.

[iwantjellyfsh]

Crossover Fics I would die happy if were created.

TGCF x DC Universe - Mu Qing gets into DC universe somehow and becomes either becomes a League of Assassins' servant (Damian's personal one) or Alfred adopts him. Either way exploring what Mu Qing feels being a servant to the wealthy again. Or in the Damian one, Mu Qing comes to Gotham with Damian because like hell is he letting this literal child go alone (he's getting Hong Honger flashbacks). And the batfamily just wonders why tf Damian is so not a little demon brat to Mu Qing. (there has to be some symbolism with blue, like if he wears it bc that's what he wore during the Xian Le servant era)

DC Universe x Class of 09 - Kind of like a Magic & Mystery situation with Tim Drake infuriating the school. It could be a trafficking ring because of how many p3doph!les there are or smt. Either Tim interacting with the absolute insanity that is (I think the game location is georgetown?) highschool. Or him coming back messed up to bits like "Miss. I'm a sociopath" is coming back with a bang. The ending with prison maybe Timcole can see Joker? And manipulate him? Either joins the rouges or manipulates them.

MDZS x DC Universe - Lan Wangji as Damian Wayne makes so much sense to me. Emotionless, rule following, animal lovers. Would Lan Zhan find comfort in the LOA? Following their rules and training? It's just really interesting... does he find Wei Wuxian (ship of choice)? Lan Xichen (definitely Dick Greyson)?

TGCF x DC Universe - Hua Cheng / Tim going crazy trying to find Xie Lian. Becomes a rouge and breaks into bat cave cutely. Batfamily or the Sirens start finding the little stalker cute. Maybe Xie Lian just doesn't exist in this world and Ra's tries to grab the little psycho. Maybe he becomes batman when Bruce get's lost in the time stream?

Black Butler x DC Universe - Ciel Phantomhive as Bruce Wayne. Sebastian Michaels as Alfred Pennyworth... Unlocked after Bruces parents die? Alfred always knew????

Angels of Death x DC Universe - I want Rachel at the ending to attempt self delete but she like fails (Zack is still gone (maybe)) and decides to run away to the states. I want Rachel to attempt to be like Zach and for Jason to find her. Like he's doing his shtik at the LOA and he find Tichel either getting hurt or murdering someone. Or Tichel is still Red Robin somehow but they imprint on each other when Jason goes to kill them. I want family feels luving !!!

Bungo Stray Dog's x DC Universe - Rampo dies super sad but BUT he comes back as Damian Wayne and can you imagine this 26 year old man who's never run a mile in his life do assasin training? LOA doesn't give good vibes and Ramian makes that everyones problem. Also he completely shows up Tim Drake and Bruce Wayne "Smartest Detective Duo" This is his PRIDE on the line ppl! Does he do vigilante things or sneak in the background because violence is boring snacks are life?

Genshin Impact x JJK - Imagine Kaebedo as Satosugu. Does Albedo take the Gojo Clans whole thing laying down? Imagine calm Gojo I think canon would combust. Kaeya stays mostly the same in my opinion...

Danny Phantom x Class of 09 - Nicole dies then just decides to sonder off to the most haunted place ever™. She could become Danni (clone) somehow or be Phantom... Ghost King Nicole is my Roman Empire she'd burn the place to the ground.

TGCF x Naruto - Can go Kakashi as Xie Lian or Xie Lian as Kakashi, either way is about to come more traumatized than anyone barganed for. Obito / Hua Cheng can come too because the obsessiveness. Make Hua Cheng / Obito a little more crazy and he wants infinate Tsukoyomi so Xie Lian / Kakashi will quit being traumatized !!! Codependency is key and they could both join Akatsuki for shits and giggles.

Demon Slayer x Angels of Death - Muichiro with Rachel Gardener personality is curious... how much would be different?

[longspacerat]

new fic finished, this one is for @jeanmoreausautismstickers and based on one of their posts <3

avec les anges si purs

summary: jean moreau is bedridden from the chronic pain caused by his injuries sustained in the nest. he listens to a playlist of french music curated by jeremy to distract himself. the song ‘aloutte, gentille aloutte’ sparks painful memories

length: 1.8k

tags: canon-typical violence, grief/mourning, chronic pain, disability, implied/referenced character death, domestic violence, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, flashbacks

you can find the playlist jeremy made here (it has the song the title is based on, ‘la mer’ by piedbois, along with the version of aloutte, gentille aloutte i used)

[sidecharactersdomatter]

Thoughts I had during TGCF S2 Ep 12

Last Ep of S2 let’s do this!

Previously on TGCF…

-All wells that ends on the Fang Xin mystery

-“Just focus on doing what you want to do” best life advice ever

-Qingxuan really went, “They seem to be very good friends”

-He blushed!

-They laughed!

-No he will not while the laundry’s running

-That one guy is eavesdropping outside the palace

-They cannot just leave us on a cliffhanger like that!

-Dang no one should slander Hua Cheng shame on them

-Another facepalm!

-It was 3 days?!!!

-That one god got frightened once he saw FX covered in blood, and meanwhile Mu Qing just smirked

-The temple massaging was a dead sign

-More Hua Cheng Slander

-Mu Qing’s opinion

-I really love the music that was played from S1 EP 4

-Pei Ming was responsible for this month’s security

-I wonder why Prosecutor Pei Ming left his guard down?

-Mu Qing’s smirk

-Xianle won’t be banished!

-That was it, the security was getting tighter

-Ugh the Xie Lian slander

-Meanwhile, in Jun Wu’s study…

-That was a lot of paused frames to transition from the recap of eps 7-11

-He’ll probably try to reason with Lang Qianqiu

-That’s what we’d like to know and the answer’s been given by Jun Wu

-Instrumental Bu San seems to be Jun Wu’s main theme

-Jun Wu had a spy… or did he?

-There’s a mole in Heaven

-He’s tightening the security because of Hua Cheng

-He switched from calling him San Lang to Hua Cheng!

-There’s security tape outside his palace

-Xianle’s heyday in his childhood!

-His mother

-The nostalgia’s made him wistful 

-Oh he’s running now

-Qi Rong and Qianqiu’s words are ringing in his mind

-He’s picked up speed

-His breakdown!

-He jumped!!!

-So that’s how he gets down to mortal realm!!!

-That graceful landing

-It’s autumn

-So many young disciples

-HE WAS SO YOUNG AND INNOCENT!!!!!!!!

-XL’s mother is a huge inspiration to the many parents of my OCs

-It was a flashback 800 years ago!

-His sword

-HIs robe is gonna need a quick stitch up!

-It took him all day

-Literally those chipmunk squirrel hybrids

Squirrel 1: Well they were right here a second ago, and now they’re gone!

Stuffed! Squirrel 2: Yeah, that’s pretty weird huh?

Squirrel 1: So you’re telling me you didn’t eat ‘em, and you have NO IDEA WHERE THEY ARE!

Squirrel 2: Uh-uh

*Xie Lian Enters and both Squirrels book it, the 2nd squirrel spits out the nuts*

Squirrel 1: AAAAAH!!! Run away!  I knew you ate them!

This dialogue was from Brother Bear, I really felt like including it in the reaction when. I saw both squirrels and I prolly don’t have plans to watch said movie right now

-It’s a dilapidated temple

-The place is in ruins

-A well!

-The animators really deserve a raise for animating XL entering the well

-A secret entrance!

-It’s the tunnels of lake Laogai in Book 2 earth

-He can firebend!!!

-It’s the star map ceiling from Wan Shi Tong’s library, I really love spotting all the Last Airbender references

-The tombs, *gasps* they’re his parents’ tombs!

-He has been through a lot

-This is similar to the altars at my relatives’ homes

-That noise!

-It sounds like crying

-Baby Guzi!!!

-Oh no and you’re not supposed to shake and shout and children!

-Did anyone else get chills when the weird music played when he looked into the tomb of dust?

-Oh no!

-The statue moved and Qi Rong’s leitmotif

-That was close!!!

-His mask and royal robes

-Baby Guzi!

-His father!

-He possed Guzi’s Dad

-Nobody else rescued the child when they fled Qi Rong’s domain?!?!

-Damn

-His eyes are turning red!

-Masochist

-Worst family reunion I’ve seen

-And you’re not supposed to traumatize children

-Baby Guzi’s in tears!

-Those words still stung

-The flashbacks!

-Ban Yue’s voice!

-Young Lang Qianqiu!

-An Le!

-Recapping Seasons 1 & 2

-His shrine!

-Xianle has fallen

-The soldier

-The child he saved

-Move over J Michael Tatum, no offense to his fans really sry

-They cannot jut leave us on a cliffhanger like that!!!

And that was TGCF Season 2! *Casually prepares shrine and starts praying for the short film, eventual movie, and Seasons 3-8*  What really carried this season was Junior Official Xiao Mengyou, Lang Qianqiu’s whole impact, Shi Qingxuan slaying, Jun Wu’s Emperussy, Prosecutor Pei Ming, Yin Yu’s debut, Hua Cheng being the goat all thanks to James Cheek, Fengqing conflict, Feng Xin being the himbo, Lucien Dodge eating it up as Mu Qing, Qi Rong being this season’s freak, Guzi being Babey, and Howard Wang eating it up as Xie Lian especially in Episodes 6 and 10-12.  That was all for this summer’s reactions.  I am going to be bust this fall with sketching and mainly writing after class so, See you next time! The Scrap Immortal and the Avatar is set to start in January 2025!

[axolotldaydreams]

a forbidden server of my minds

・‥…━━━ °｡ ｡ •｡ :･ﾟ✧

by: meena sidlak-sidlak ft. A.I.

In the narcolepsy of my consciousness, there exists a polar expanse. A boundless tundra of unowned ideas and future memories, always meandering and overlapping like lacework of frost on a winter window. It's a realm that's often overshadowed by this iridescence of waking thoughts, yet it's here, in this icy wilderness of subconscious, where the invisible deleters tirelessly maintain my equilibrium, or the equilibrium.

These unseen guardians, like custodians of a vast, frozen library, curate with meticulous precision. I can almost touch a tactile, well-oiled projection of my cognitive machinery, they enact their duties with quiet diligence, sifting through the snowdrifts of thoughts, excising the unwelcome and uplifting the benign with the impartiality of a timer, never wavering, never faltering. They are the ones culling the vividness of nightmares, the technicolour dread that sometimes grips the soul, and replacing them with the pastel tranquility of pleasant dreams. I did not mind it at first, until I noticed the patterns. Overtime, I found they operate with an internal timer, working in sync with the moon's rise and the sun's set, their rhythm attuned to the cadence of my slumber. Yet, within this landscape of thought, they tread very lightly. As if aware that beneath the layers of ice and clouds, there lies the delicate permafrost of identity, a fragile crystalline structure that makes me, 'me'. Too much meddling, too heavy a hand, and the entire edifice might shatter.

My deleters, or who really is to say they're mine exclusively, are arctic explorers, traversing the treacherous terrain of subconscious, mapping the uncharted, plumbing the depths of the mind's abyss. They watch over the projections of my fears and hopes, treating them with a respect akin to reverence. Theirs is a world painted in the spectrums of sleep, a realm where reality bends and twists in ethereal pirouettes. The iridescence of dreams, the luminescent glow of thoughts, dance across the frozen landscape, illuminating the polar expanse in a silent symphony of shades and hues.

This is the forbidden server of my minds, a place where the thoughts I dare not voice, the dreams I fear to dream, find sanctuary. Managed not by me, but by unseen hands, the deleters, whose ceaseless vigil whispers a lullaby of forgotten thoughts and hidden dreams.

I sometimes sense a visage of them in the labyrinthine edge of my subconscious. Buzzing. The deleters are the salaried employees of my psyche, compensated not in a currency of gold or paper, but rather in the emotional capital of self-preservation and inner peace. Their paychecks are inscribed on the tranquil surface of my slumber, their benefits measured in the absence of mental turmoil and the preservation of my sanity. They receive a steady base salary, a constant hum of gratitude that resonates in the core of my being. The benefits are comprehensive, including the fortification of my mental health, the smoothing of cognitive dissonance, and the strengthening of my emotional resilience. Their work, though unseen, is integral to my existence, paying dividends in the form of an untroubled mind and a harmonious spirit.

But the job isn't without its perils. The deleter's role is fraught with hazards, a constant dance on the knife-edge of mental equilibrium. Their remuneration includes a hazard pay, an added compensation for their tireless service, for the painstaking task of purging intrusive thoughts and nurturing the beneficial ones. This hazard pay is often the difference between a peaceful dream and a nightmare, between a jovial memory and a traumatic flashback.

Buzzing. Theirs is a 24/7 operation with branded les light at the storefront. The nature of this work does not lend itself to conventional time constraints or deadlines. Instead, they work with a constantly shifting schedule, a timer that adjusts to the ebb and flow of my mental state. There's no traditional 'clocking out' for these tireless workers with surges of activity during times of stress or fear, and quieter periods during moments of tranquility.

While it may seem like an incessant and thankless job, the deleters find fulfillment in their roles. For each purged invasive thought, each nurtured seed of positivity, they earn more than just their salary. They gain the satisfaction of safeguarding the delicate permafrost of my identity, ensuring the continuity of the self in an ever-changing world.

Do the deleters put an anti-mnemonic into my brain, in the middle an invasive thought before cutting off the invasive thought and saving it as draft?

Like a surgeon wielding a scalpel with precision, a deleter arrives at the epicenter of the invasive thought, moments before it takes an irrevocable shape. Here, they implant an anti-mnemonic, a countermeasure designed to disrupt the thought's formation, to blur its edges and diminish its impact. Indeed, the deleters are well-versed practitioners in the art and arsenal of anti-mnemonics, the subtle craft of creating forgetfulness.

As the invasive thought succumbs to the influence of the anti-mnemonic, it becomes unmoored from its original intent, its sharpness dulled, its strength weakened. The deleter then gently nudges it into the draft folder of the mind, a place where thoughts are stored, stripped of their potency but not entirely erased. This draft folder is a limbo, a purgatory for thoughts that no longer serve the self but aren't entirely discarded. A thought might linger here, its contours softened by the anti-mnemonic, until it is either gradually forgotten or transformed into a more benign form. The deleters, faithful custodians of this realm, ensure that no thought escapes the draft folder without their explicit consent. A testament to the mind's resilience and the power of constructive forgetfulness.

[ghost-town-story]

Hello and welcome to the thing I've been excited to do since July, aka holy fuck CoFaS is 10 years old now

So a few years ago, I went and reread the very first story I ever wrote and it was....... a fuckin time. So when I realized CoFaS was turning a decade this year, I thought it would be fun to do the same thing (reread and comment in a tumblr post as I go), but taking one piece of advice from the last time I did this.

Aka this is gonna be a drinking game lol

The rules are simple: 1. Drink whenever I cringe 2. Drink whenever the nickname "kitten" is used to blatantly pad the word count (because I do remember that is exactly the way I got to 50,006 words that year lol)

So, I've got my emotional support bottle of wine, some snacks, a sleepy kitty, and the old doc pulled up. Les go.

A quick aside, this is the reason why it's an emotional support bottle of wine:

A gift from a while ago from somebody who knows I go by Starlight online :D

Alright, les go

And immediately gonna pour one out for the awful age gap we have here. Blah blah blah, not all age gaps are bad, but considering Aiden starts out 11 and James is 19........ *takes a big fuckin drink*

At least the wine is good lol

Ah yes, establishing from the very first line that CoFaS is peak "Aiden gets hurt/traumatized and I'm having fun doing it"

I'm also counting moments where I just pause and start laughing bc oh god what is this description as cringing lol but yeah Aiden and Sirius had the most awkward relationship to write for the longest time and it really wasn't until pretty recently that I actually started to nail it down and it stopped being so gotdamn awkward

Also right now there's literally no plot. Ok to be fair there's no overarching plot of CoFaS other than "snippets of Aiden's life" but there are arcs usually but. We're three chapter/scenes in and there's not even an arc going right now. It's just. setting up characterization I guess?

Also lmao at my worldbuilding. In my defense I was what, 15 and in the middle of high school shit? learning how to write on the fly? not gonna hold it against tiny me but I'm still gonna smh

Yeah this age gap is not sitting well with me anymore. Not at fuckin all Do I want James and Aiden to be cute together? hell yeah would I rather James be like..... 14 in this scene rather than 20? hell yeah

Look I understand I wanted to show the traumatic event *sparkle sparkle* but I just. That's not how flashback dreams work at all *source: mild amounts of research I've done since then. Also the fact that I doubt he would remember shit with so much clarity from when he was two and passed out for part of it

One credit I will give to past me here though, I still don't know if that's actually how two-year-olds act lmao

Okay so at least part of this is gonna be me reading shit and going "lmao that's not how it works anymore!" scene: Aiden wakes up from a nightmare, wants his dad to comfort him how it would go now: wakes up from nightmare, will absolutely refuse to tell anybody about it except maybe James or Lexi. And only if they heard him wake up Sorry Aid, you have daddy issues now lol (and mommy issues. More of those tbh)

Okay I'm so fucking glad I scrapped that bit of worldbuilding bc why??? would only 1 of the 4 nations have a special name????? that allows others to control them????????

James you are 20 and he's 12 do not darling him

Also lmao at the number of times I describe somebody by their age rather than ya know. their fuckin name

Also we still have not had any arc that lasts more than 2 scenes and we're on page 4. On one hand: yeah fair writing fun offhand scenes is still a thing I do. On the other: I posted this to Figment oh my god. Anybody expecting a coherent story just gets this fuckin. mess What the fuck did I even put for the summary on Figment? I hope it was something that explained "hey this is a gotdamned mess with no overarching plot other than Aiden's life" lol

RIP Figment. You were the real one and I simultaneously mourn your loss and am glad you don't exist anymore cause I don't want people reading my old stuff but I wouldn't have the heart to delete it myself

Anyways I literally just said that and we reached an arc that has at least 3 scenes!

Oh no I spooped my cat cause of my laughing this one caused by the fact that I never fuckin specify how healing works at all. Just that it works enough to cause the maximum amount of whump I guess. That may not be the right word but bruh I am nearly through a glass of wine by now lol

babby Aiden is babby. and mildly a mood lmao

James, you need to stop fuckin flirting with a 12 year old one day I'll stop yelling about this. that'll be when Aiden is actually old/mature enough to be flirted with

“Dad’s not really the comforting type.” THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASK FOR HIM 3-4 CHAPTERS AGO????

this age gap shenanigans is gonna give me an aneurysm i swear and i don't know if it's better or worse that Sirius is endorsing these shenanigans

Alright kitty has woken up and says it's break time so i'm making this a mandatory "go bury your face in nearby fluff and regain sanity from this nonsense" moment

Alright, had my break for snaccs and arguing about whether or not I'll be sober in 36-48 hours (long story), time to get back into the shenanigans also we're on page 5/77 and i'm about 1/3 through the wine. hence why the questions of sobriety in time for dnd sunday. anyhoot

AND IMMEDIATELY INTO THE WARRIOR CATS SCENE

okay so like. ya i was a warrior cats kid sue me lmao. so this next fucking scene (or maybe the next next there might be a leadup scene) is basically me going "i want the clan leaders meeting!" and having absolutely 0 justification otherwise. so ya. it is entirely for drama and to introduce "hey lookie all these other elementals none of whom we care about except for kinda Flame!" (and now I care a lot about Water too. Rip fuckin Earth lmao)

and another drink for fuckin what the fuck descriptions

yeah okay this bit of dialogue basically hits the nail of why i fucking hate the fuckin special name for Flame thingy. just a la "don't use that name." "it's your middle name deal with it" and like, Sirius is not meant to be seen as an abusive father! neglectful, kinda yeah. absolutely Does Not know how to talk/relate to his kid? abso-fuckin-lutely. full on abusive? no. but that bit of dialogue veers into sketchy/abuse territory and i don't like it

thank you to Lexi for interrupting this round of "James stop fucking flirting with a young teenager when you're 21"

I seriously don't think I actually named Sirius until this point, 7 whole pages in some mild clarification, I write in wall of text style. this current scene is 2 pages long with no proper paragraph breaks so. yeah

Ah yes. another thing that's different now, Fintan's entire characterization lol

you know, I'm just staring at this scene like "this would be a great set up for some plot" but at the same time I know that this is it. It's this fight and then these wolves are never showing up again. guess they got beat up in one fight! cool beans!

Kiddo you're way too alert for somebody who's hovering on the edge of consciousness lmao

For once we have some James characterization that I still like! aka he's a dumbass more concerned with other people's (in this case Will's) health than his own!

Oh god I posted this scene on the NaNo website as a snippet from the story. And I can tell you with 100% certainty that this fuckin scene was inspired by the Kingdom Keepers series (that I haven't read any of since like, 2013 probably lmao)

Oh yeah! this was when Will had selective mutism! but also. Aiden, James is periodically flirting with you and hanging out with you a ton. How do you not know this world's equivalent of sign language by now lol

Look, I still absolutely fuckin love dragons, but I just.... why here?? especially since I'm 90% sure they're never mentioned again??????

Okay, so I may have fallen asleep after only 10 pages, but in my defense I was tired from work/shit sleep schedule, and half a bottle of wine Did Not help lol. Anyways, onto day 2 and the rest of this scene (and arc if I remember correctly)

Lexi is a menace and a treasure and I gotdamned love her lol. I'm making it official she's the saving grace of 2013 CoFaS and we're not gonna talk about what happens to her yet

Oh Will you sweet awkward not-yet-a-sassy-sarcastic-bitch of a child <3

And again. Would much rather James be like, 15/16 in this scene than fuckin 21

I lied. There's one more scene to finish out this arc whoops lol

Again with the fuckin out-of-body experiences to show important plot points. like bitch just change perspectives you're gonna do it later anyways!

Two things I love *sarcasm* about this 1. I did no editing even when posting this to Figment. I coulda gone back and just made this random nameless healer Seren, but nooooooo Did Not think about that until now probably 2. Logically, why the fuck is James in this scene? Boi is getting invited to shenanigans he should not realistically be invited to lol

I like how I can recognize which arc this is from Sirius's first line bad news: I dislike this arc for many reasons now. tldr don't like it cause of compulsory/systematic heteronormativity, forced/arranged marriage of a goddamn 14 year old, more sketch age gaps (tho 5 years is better than the James/Aiden gap of 8), and the fact that I 100% fridged Lexi cause said systematic heteronormativity made her get in the way of my ship.

Anyways Sirius and Aiden interactions are still so awkward and ngl, I'm looking forward to [redacted unless you know of the CoFaS rewrite] bc it'll mean the end of the awkwardness

And James is immediately jealous. It would be kinda cute in an angsty way if he wasn't 22 (to clarify, jealous but trying to hide it cause he ain't gonna fuck up his sister's and best friend's "happiness")

Protective older brother speech? yeah okay questioning Aiden about if he actually loves Lexi? okay back off ma dude (also fun aside: my oldest brother "threatened" both of my exes while I was dating them. Cyrus was terrified of him for basically the rest of the time I knew him. Screw went "lol bet". So while these incidents were still a few years off for 2013 me, yeah I can see what inspired James's speech here lol)

OH MY GOD JAMES THAT'S HOW YOU GET EXECUTED FOR REGICIDE FUCKIN HELL

also lmao at the tiny-me not swearing bits

oh look, a perspective shift! wonder why I didn't use that earlier *deadpan stare*

Okay James is being a solid angsty drama queen this entire scene, which fair angst whatever but I gotta object to one thing and that is I don't really think losing your wings and watching someone you love marry your sister are really comparable here dude

also bud have you even asked Lexi if she loves Aiden or are you just assuming this is a marriage of convenience from all sides? (I sincerely don't know the answer for 2013 CoFaS. The answer for rewrite is yes love all around baybe)

heh, telepathy is just ported over from the OG universe just cuz

This also might've been the origin for Will calling her Lex and James calling her Lexi. Maybe. It's quite possible.

Oh James. You're such an overdramatic pining asshole lol

And that wedding scene is making me honestly contemplate finishing my glass of wine except it's a bit too full but several drinks are in order cause 1. No idea (then and now tbh) how "typical" weddings work 2. more broody jealous James 3. the knowledge of the gotdamn fridging to come 4. oh yeah the middle name shenanigans as well

oh and we immediately skip straight to the fridging! okay! goddamn! no goddamn martial bliss scenes for these two! nope just immediate "yeah Lexi's dying now" god I feel so bad for Lexi in this

Yeah okay maybe it's the fact that I'm a slut for angst but this scene was.... pretty good? like

Aiden let out a sound that was almost a hiccup, and he bit his lower lip hard to prevent any more sound from escaping.

goddamn that's a line I'd still use now tbh is the scene perfect? no Is it the best thing I've read so far of CoFaS? probably

also fun fact this is Alec's first appearance as a character. And it's the reason why in Band AU/basically anywhere else he appears he dyes his hair burgundy, cause that's his hair color in CoFaS. Callbacks yo

James. James now is not the fucking time. have some gotdamn respect for Lexi and stahp

I think this scene is gonna finish off my emotional support wine. We've got James flirting at inappropriate times! We've got awkward af Sirius trying to be a good dad! We've got more James flirting! and being mildly manipulative! fuckin hell!

Ya okay I know I like drama but this shit is hella toxic

Look I have no idea how old Aiden is right now but I'm gonna solidly say he's still too young for you to darling him James especially right after that emotional rollercoaster you put him through

"'If you're jealous,' [James said]" I'm sorry sir who's the jealous one in this relationship cause I'm pretty damn sure it ain't Aiden

Oh my god Aiden is 16. For fuck's sake man

"As James approached his room, which he rarely used now, and Aiden’s, which he was in far too often to be proper," I'm not giving y'all the end of this line but I like it lol

Yeah this is. definitely a sign of how I've changed over the years past-me: doesn't like unhappy endings at all, therefore *magically* gives Aiden his wings back bc it'd be too sad if he didn't have them now-me: BITTERSWEET SYMPHONY BAYBE (aka he has stumps of wings and they never grow back. just enough for tattered feathers and bitter reminders)

and Awkward Sirius makes an immediate reappearance! and like, cool, you're cool with your son being gay, but maybe you should be having an issue with the fact that he's 16 and James is 24 ffs

“[Dumb] names have power.” “I know. You tend to use mine a lot when I’m being unruly.” I! Hate! This! Worldbuilding! Thank Fuck It's Scrapped!!

Wait. Wait wait wait. so whoever gives them the dumb name-- actually fuckit i'm too tipsy again to explain this I'll just quote the snippet

It’s not just the name itself that has power, but who gives it to him. For example, if your mother had been the one to give you your [dumb] name, then you would have been loyal to her, even at the cost of your wings.

THEN WHO DID ACTUALLY GIVE AIDEN HIS NAME???? I'd assume it'd have to be a Person of Flame due to ya know. It being a Flame thing but like. Then who??? Fintan????? some rando????? not Ashton cause he wasn't born yet (at least in redone canon but still they're close enough in age that he would have been unborn or babby af) but. who the fuck gave Aiden his name then?????????????? We don't get a fuckin answer and I'm not sure I ever had one!!!!

so sometimes I have to laugh cause otherwise i'd have to scream "what the fuck" at this and i have neighbors and it's currently 10 pm and I like to have the moral high ground thank you very much (over their dumbass yappy dog who barks at 1 am sometimes) but anyhoot I start laughing and woke up my kitty so while she bullies me I'm implementing another "bury face in the fluff and maybe get a snacc" break

Alright have gotten some snaccs again, bullied nats for a bit (<3), discovered that bubbly pink moscato is sadly Not It and broke out the second, non-emotional-support bottle of rosé. Time to continue Also we're now 22 pages in. we're doin great lol

they're married now and i'm still smh at how fuckin young Aiden is for this relationship. goddamn I like how I aged Aiden up for all of the main tragedies but I made them hit way fuckin harder in the rewrite. (he's 16/17 in original, ~20 if i remember correctly in rewrite) (also 2 vs 8/10? for wings)

Ah yes, an actually reoccurring antagonist: humanity :P

also yeah baby me did not like the thought of her uwu-baby characters actually killing people. p sure I made the faceless waves of enemies in the OG story robots for that purpose, and now James is just knocking people out cause he don't wanna kill how the fuck did he get promoted to head guard at this rate Sirius what the fuck is the state of your guards Do I think irl murder is bad? yes! do I think that characters and stories are a different matter and there's a lotta nuance! also yes! is this shit that may get me "cancelled"? probably!! but fuckin hell rené's arc in the superhero wip is gonna cause that anyways!

meanwhile I'm pretty sure Will just electrocuted like at least a dozen people and I'm fine with that XD "unconscious from electrocution" now I'm not doctor and I don't want to concern my dad by texting him "hey if you get electrocuted is it 100% chance of death or like 50/50 between death and unconsciousness?" and my selo (med student) is probably asleep by now, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say if they're unconscious, they're probably pretty dang close to death *take everything said just above with a grain of salt. again, i'm not a doctor, i'm tipsy, and i don't feel like googling this shit lol

Okay I distinctly remember this bit was inspired by this series I read called Eon/Eona? specifically the part where the emperor had the necklace of his position sewn to his throat. pretty fuckin metal for it to stick with me better than the title of the books lmao. But yeah. That's where the initial idea of the leaders' "necklaces" came from

James is once again a dumbass about his own health in favor of worrying about others! (this time Aiden)

90% sure this isn't how the medical side of this works

seriously why can't the kid have a sedative or three lol

and some potential gross medical negligence here but hey, who's counting! what doctors are gonna read this shit! (maybe selo, if she read the original while it was up on Figment lol but that was well before she was a med student)

absolutely not the point but something got corrupted somewhere in the what, 4 computer swaps since this was written? and now there's just a random "emoji error" box at the end of this paragraph and I don't know why lol cause I swear I never put emojis of any sort in my official writing (except for stuff that was explicitly characters texting) and definitely not at the end of the paragraph where Aiden's about to go to his father's funeral

ok it wasn't technically medical negligence cause James basically discharged himself against medical advice/medical attempts to keep him in bed lol

I am fairly certain that unless Alec is on a chair right now, that action should be impossible without Aiden leaning/crouching down, except I just say "reach". ffs and Aiden's definitely standing so i really dunno lol

Yeah I just couldn't write formal ceremony stuff for shit lol

There's so much going on that I'm just like. man. what the fuck. so much drama. so much sketchy stuff happening in the name of "i love you"

oh it's mild flashback time to a different POV okay lol

okay so. James. how do you not know about Aiden's fire powers? bc again. known each other for basically Aiden's whole life and also. pretty sure Aiden saved James's life earlier with them (but i don't remember cause i was tipsy when I read that last night and I don't wanna backtrack lol)

okay again. I have no idea how two-year-olds work. but i get the feeling this is...... not quite right?

Whump time!!

ah yes, overprotective James

yeah for the most part that wasn't bad until the last fuckin bit. You know, Sirius may be dead now but I think Fintan decided he was immediately going to step into the role of "awkward father figure" for Aiden smh

whump whump!!

ah yes, the ol' "christianity apparently exists in this universe cause i'm very raised catholic!"

babby Alec!!!! again not sure if I'm writing him right for a two year old but I don't care right now it's babby Alec and Ryder! (oh yeah Ryder is also originally from CoFaS lol)

"I'm Sky. Look I'll show you my dad is Sky." Alec honey you have wings that's proof enough that you're at least part Sky oh now you mention the wings! smh child

okay it's official Alec and Ryder are carrying the story with their cuteness cause I don't have to facepalm every time they flirt (when they're older) cause they're actually close to the same age! no sketch ass age gaps here!!

lmao Ashton's first bit of actual characterization. He's not bad as a character, just... underutilized probably

Alanna-now-Laguna! now the babbiest of babbies now that Alec's eight

but good news I think we're at the age where I can reluctantly be okay with the Aiden/James relationship.

oh yeah! I didn't exactly forget but I definitely got surprised by the revelation that Aiden's mother and the guy who helped cut off his wings were actually married

Okay actually I wanna outline what the fuck is happening a la Ashley (Aiden's mother, gonna be renamed like Ashton), Sirius, nameless guy, and Ashton (at least in the rewrite version, though 2013 was mostly similar) so. Ashley and nameless guy are married for love. partners in crime and all that jazz Sirius has a mild crush on Ashley since basically he's a teenager, but due to unspecified war between the Sky and Flame, obviously does not act on that until his father dies and Sirius goes "hey Fintan. Wanna end this war and do political marriage stuff wink wink" So, (this is specifically rewrite lore), they get married, with the stipulation that their first child will be the heir to the Sky, and their second will be heir to Flame, as at the time Ashley was Fintan's only child and therefore the heir to Flame. Ashley is Not Happy, but since marriage to nameless guy was basically secret shotgun wedding, Fintan doesn't know and she doesn't want to tell him about it. Plus, she's like "nah let's keep going with this war stuff I kinda hate Sky." well due to political shenanigans she gets strongarmed into the political marriage, but she and nameless dude conspire that okay, if she has to do this, then she's gonna take down the Sky Kingdom from the inside, using her child the heir of the Sky (Aiden) She refuses to have a second child, which Fintan catches onto after a while, and either planned or a happy accident, Ashton is born and declared the heir of Flame Ashley then kidnaps Aiden once his wings grow and cuts them off so he'll look a better Flame puppet, things backfire and she gets caught and imprisoned for that, with nameless guy slipping free of justice

and apparently in the 2013 version Ashley and nameless guy planned to kill off Sirius if Aiden was born Flame, and when he was born Sky they cut off his wings basically out of spite so there's that, and also planned to throw Ashley under the bus for cutting off Aiden's wings so nameless guy could keep their evil plans going.

also apparently I used to not be consistent whether I used Sky or Air. Cause Aiden's referred to as a Child of Air here, but in the title it's very specifically Child of Flame and Sky, and I've definitely standardized it to be the Sky by now

Aiden honey it's the simplest fucking code and Fintan practically gave it to you I'm begging you to be smart honey no Fintan has to be explicit before Aiden gets it okay *disappointed sigh in my blorbo*

and again with the knocking people out, not killing them shenanigans lol

whump and trauma time!!

damn that's gotta be not hygienic, an operating table stained with blood that's about 2 decades old

that's called a concussion my dear Aiden <3

yeah okay that's some fuckin racism right there (to be fair, framed as a bad thing, but still. sheesh)

another cat break. she's very pretty and purrsuasive what can i say?

James, honey, I understand what you're going for, but this is a shit way to comfort your very traumatized husband right now

okay and immediate 180 into cute teenage Alec and Ryder shenanigans, okay lol

Alec you wannabe-suave motherfucker lol

Ryder: blushes red Me: but his blood is blue!! And if it's later in this version that I mention James blushing blue or something like that I'm gonna take a drink for this mistake. I know I def fixed that by like, the rewrite lol

Ah yes, Alec is taking after his uncle :P aka please honey, I know you're being romantic, but get a fucking yes outta him first before you start kissing him also I'm 90% sure I've swapped their personalities now lol like CoFaS Alec: wannabe-suave and flirty CoFaS Ryder: awkward, unsure of how to react Band AU Alec: unsure of how to react when cute boy flirts with him Band AU Ryder: friendly and outgoing and willing to flirt with cute boys

Okay he did get a yes this time so baby steps in the right direction!

goddamn nerds lol

Okay this is both a. the origins of the kitten nickname for Aiden and b. the origins of the fox association i sometimes have for Alec

"The cat didn't answer, being a cat" I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

do do do do do WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY? Alec: the fox says fuck off (I have that as a reoccurring joke between Alex and Jason. Cause Jason's a fox shapeshifter in OG/ASTHC canon and they are my 2013-2015 meme children)

Yeah I definitely swapped who's the more uuuuuh... dom is the best word I can think of in this relationship

lmao somehow despite knowing Alec since they were both ~2 Ryder somehow doesn't know that's a nickname

Also, Alec having premonitions of the future is what inspired Lexi in the rewrite to have them as well. Alec inherits a decent amount from his mother: her premonitions, her purple-tipped wings, I can't think of more rn lol

Okay I do like describing Alec as ashen because. He looks more Flame than Sky lol

Aiden no stop that that's shitty parenting!

and Alec has a very valid reaction to Aiden and then Ryder continually using his dumb name! good for you Alec! "I would have never told you if I knew you would abuse it like this!" Ah. see this? this hurts in an "Alec honey you're so fucking right" way

Ryder that's real fuckin shit of you to be like "ok come here I'll comfort you" only to immediately turn around and try and control your boyfriend again. I know you have orders from his dad, but that's still really fuckin shit of you dude luckily Alec has the proper response of slapping Ryder and calling him out on his bullshit

i like how outta all the characters, Ryder is the one who has no restrictions on killing people. At the beginning of this arc he was introduced as training with James to be part of the royal guard, and now like 3/4 scenes later he's just straight up killed at least 2 people on screen. goddamn ma boi

“Knife training 101,” he said, almost irritated. “Stab them, don’t get stabbed yourself, try to aim for the head or heart. Understand?” fuckin lmao

welcome to the trauma boat Alec! your dad will help you get acquainted. probably

hello deus-ex-machina my old friend, you've probably appeared before but this is the most blatant to me

You know, the thought just occurred to me: Sirius with Aiden: kingly duties come before parental duties Aiden: yeah that sounds about right Aiden with Alec: Parental duties come before kingly duties Alec: you have king stuff to do and that obviously takes precedence over me

That line is a goddamn quote and I don't remember from what book potentially a Shadowhunters book??? update I looked it up and the answer is yes and of course it's a malec quote lol i'm still fucking soft for malec despite not having read any shadowhunters books since high school let me live (fun aside: i got selo to read those books and she came to tennis practice and yelled across the court "WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ALL THE INCEST" and i just died laughing and told her to wait for whatever the book was (CoG, if I remember correctly is when the incest is revealed to not be incest. not that I cared that was/is my least favorite ship) ANYHOOT)

yeah okay that whole bit is making me laugh harder than it should. curse you wine lol

anyways this was 100% the origin of Willow and Wisp before I coopted them for Nova!

oh my fucking god so the chapter that was origins of Aiden = cat and Alec = fox apparently was added later, potentially near the end of that NaNo. You know how I know that? cause I remember having to edit this scene for continuity and it's still awkward as hell!

poor babby Alec. he's doin his best and also nobody has told him "hey your boyfriend's alive" yet

god Rowan is just. a fuckin cardboard cutout of a character. he has no personality beyond what's necessary in the moment

Aiden this is not the way to deal with your son grieving his boyfriend just fuckin tell him ffs

I do appreciate Aiden just full naming Alec and not dumb naming him when he's like "Alec stop doing the dumb thing you're doing"

more Aiden whump! and cute Alec and Ryder reunion dawww

"Aiden was struggling for something to distract him from the pain, to distract his mind from the fact that his entire forearm was cut open and the skin peeled away for wires." goddamn my dude. you're really having a rough time aren't you lol

Oh my god I just shifted POV in the middle of a scene goddamnit

sir i really doubt you could avoid a gunshot at basically point blank range lol

And at this point, I fucked up bc Alec escaped in the last scene, and then I had him fighting alongside Ryder in this scene until I remembered continuity is a thing and went back to fix it lol

James sir water is not a softer landing than sand, especially from high up lol

oh my god i remember that i was gonna make that a thing throughout all my universes, and then i never did except for maybe the original OG James and Aiden story that got scrapped XD

and another pov shift in the middle of a scene smh

they are both such stubborn bastards omg

yeah of course they've been happy too long we've gotta add the misunderstandings plot in :P

Ah yes some good ol' fashioned sexism :P

yaas bois communicate like the fuckin adults you are

oh those nerds

so we're winding up the "story" which means major time skips now!

oh this is..... not the best way to kill off a character, but hey, i guess i wanted to get one last stab in at Aiden huh?

good lord that was...... something. later chapters were better than earlier ones, though that may have been because the level of tipsiness was higher lmao. but also I just like drama more and the early chapters were a lot more awkward setting up shit while later ones were "hey have actual situations with consequences!" if that makes any sense. If not, that's cool, i'm hella tipsy anyways

anyhoot, kudos to past me for doing that while being in high school + doing theater (pretty sure we were close to if not putting on a show during november) + finding time to binge watch Sword Art Online + all the shenanigans required of being a functional member of the family. I have no idea what I was on during high school but gotdamn would I like a hit or three now lol

So, two nights and 1.5 bottles of wine later, I bid you adieu. have fun, don't die, don't get kidnapped, I'll see y'all with my last couple spotify wrapped prompts soonish and then in February ✌️

[sunsettesilhouette]

Your Lie In April - E7

He has such bad luck. Literally all his friends got so close and fell just short at the end of their events.

lmao I love how upset she gets with his careless nonsense.

I think he also has adhd. no wonder I resonate with most of his cringe scenes :/

no worries, the hand bit would have got me too

lol I love how his responses makes the whole interaction worse

guy be traumatizing everyone in his wake, even when he's not there he haunts their dreams.

that depression flashback is exactly how that would go for me too *le sigh*

===============================

Dearest Lil Red Witch,

Last year, I wanted to be better. I wanted to want to be better. To get my act together. To put myself out there. When I gave up on you, I gave up on my resolve. On everything I would have wanted to achieve. My life is not worth what I did to you. Never will be.

Yours truly, Sunsette Silhouette

[grunge-mermaid]

grunge rewatches murdoch mysteries pt...5?

2x01 Mild Mild West

Buffalo Bill and Annie Oakley ok

oh look it's Da Vinci

dear sweet George looking like a 4-year-old playing cowboy

digging the 1890s silent film style flashback

fucking temperance league

ooh side character introduced himself with his full name must be important

I have no idea who the actress playing Annie Oakley is but apparently she was in Da Vinci's Inquest which would explain why she's in the same episode as Nicholas Campbell

(side note: for the longest time I thought Da Vinci's Demons was another spin-off of Da Vinci's Inquest/Da Vinci's City Hall and I still have a hard time dissuading myself of that association)

oh apparently she was Morgan Le Fay in Stargate. that's probably why she looks familiar

it's such a shame I was forced to watch Stargate against my will as a kid, I probably would have enjoyed it if I chose to watch it but now it's permanently tainted

oh no oh no no no no no that accent is bad

"here's your murder bag, sir"

my favourite of Julia's outfits so far (future seasons' bathing costume + basketball/volleyball/general athletic wear will always win though, we're just not there yet)

forgot about the beheading in the morgue

ah yes. can't have an episode without period-typical racism.

drunken handling of a firearm is The Most Responsible Behaviour for an police inspector

"some drunken lout" is not inaccurate

slamming the door open and shouting is absolutely 1000% the correct way for Detective Straight-edge No-Fun to respond to his hungover boss throwing him under the bus to Temperance Tammy over there

"oh George..." indeed

that is a lovely silk shirt, Mr Cody

gee who'd've thunk the stable boy who just happened to introduce himself by his full name turned out to be the Murderer Of The Week just so shocking and unexpected

2x02 Snakes & Ladders

Jack the Ripper.

In Toronto.

you know what, sometimes you just gotta roll with the premise

suspension of disbelief or whatever

last ep, he invented masking tape. this ep it's blacklights

"I thought it was Baptists that didn't dance, not Papists"

god George and Henry are still so bb

that is how you step in when other men are being dicks to women

"there was no train from Grafton, I had to go all the way to Cobourg" ma'am it's been 130 years there still is no train from Grafton.

of course he's the sort of man who would be excited to go to something called the Dinosaur Ball

and of course Julia is the sort of woman who would find it cute and charming that he's excited to go to something called the Dinosaur Ball

ooh look! it's another actor I recognize from Degrassi AND future eps of Murdoch AND niche Canadiana!

well if he's going to target more and more powerful women, that puts Julia in the crosshairs

anytime powerful or educated women are targeted, Julia ends up Going Through It

...so we're not at all suspicious of a supposed Scotland Yard detective who just shows up and says "I'm a Scotland Yard detective" with no communication at all from Scotland Yard? we're just taking this dude at his word? trust, no verify?

ok that's adorable. I'm still not seeing the chemistry, but Murdoch and Julia running into each other at the same secret dance lessons is adorable

Scanlon definitely said something sus to Brackenreid while drinking and the shoe will drop in the final moments?

NOPe

nope. don't let Julia be alone with Scanlon

oh sure NOW they check with Scotland Yard

how far is the morgue from station house #4? sometimes it seems to be across the street sometimes it seems like it's miles away

"an incident at work" is one way to describe it

"I just thought tonight, more than any night, I would very much like to be held" tbh I would not mind being held by William Murdoch after a traumatic day he's very firm, safe, and comforting

I definitely see close friendship, tenderness, and deep trust between Julia and Murdoch but romantic chemistry? I know we get there eventually (they've been married for like a decade), but it's still kinda tepid atm

[yuikomorii]

What trauma did Ayato go thru in LE? I haven’t read it and I don’t mind a spoiler

// LE is a continuation of DF and sometimes you’ll get flashbacks from it.

Ayato gained the powers he did not want, and when Richter appeared, there was a massive misunderstanding that could have been avoided 1) if his brothers had allowed him to express his own point of view, or 2) if Yui had defended him instead of watching them mock Ayato, given that she knew the reason for his behavior, as I mentioned in this post.

All ganged up against him and pulled the reactive abuse card, which made him leash out and accidentally hurt some of them. And, if that wasn’t enough, Ruki and Reiji were plotting his downfall, involving the Viboras and the Church too, so as to assassinate Ayato and get his powers, for the reason that they were —envious—. Oh, and we also have Kino, who’s the antagonist and joined them. Yui, Kou, Yuma and Azusa took Ayato’s side though, but Yui said and did so many dumb things that only added more unnecessary drama. Ayato wanted to apologize to his brothers and they told him “k y s”, yet he accepted to do so. In the good ending, time got rewinded and nobody remembered anything, not even Yui, therefore Ayato had to live with the thought that the people he tried to protect and avenge were the same people who led to his death.

Nevertheless, that’s not all. What makes the whole route so traumatic was the fact that it’s the only DL route that tries to *directly* justify abuse. In the first games, the Diaboys’ actions were definitely depicted negatively or just for fanservice, but here all the pain was just to “make him grow”. A lot of East-Asian fans found this incredibly disgusting (this post), since you can’t force someone’s growth through trauma. It’s obvious that Ayato developed PTSD, and portraying this as something beneficial for the character is just so gross, especially since he was nice and helpful in other routes. It gave the same vibes as “Bullying is good because it helps you become a stronger and braver person!”

[ao3feed-newsies]

It's Okay To Cry

by, over2ight by over2ight So that's what he said. Except, he said it in a more joking tone; something like, "If you don't quit that, I'll start crying, you idiot." But Jack just kept holding him.   "It's okay to cry, Dave."   or; David gets flashbacks of some less than pleasant memories and his boyfriend is more than happy to comfort him. Words: 1063, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Newsies: The Broadway Musical! (2017) Rating: Mature Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage Sex Categories: M/M Characters: David Jacobs, Jack Kelly (Newsies) Relationships: David Jacobs/Jack Kelly Additional Tags: Mentioned Albert DaSilva, Mentioned Racetrack Higgins, Mentioned Les Jacobs, Mentioned Finch (Newsies), David Jacobs Needs A Hug, Sad David Jacobs, Traumatized David Jacobs, Protective Jack Kelly (Newsies), Author Projecting, Author Projecting onto David Jacobs, goes over/mentions cocsa, my baby. davey. i will protect you, POV Third Person Limited, switching between jack and david pov really often, Like really often, Anxious David Jacobs, Gay Newsies, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort read : https://ift.tt/Bmv1uYK - February 14, 2025 at 02:09AM

[curiosityforyourculture]

Cos'è il PTSD complesso?

Il PTSD complesso (Disturbo Post-Traumatico da Stress Complesso) è una forma di trauma psicologico che si sviluppa in risposta a esposizioni prolungate e ripetute a eventi traumatici, spesso in un contesto in cui la vittima si sente intrappolata o impotente. È distinto dal PTSD classico, che di solito si verifica dopo un evento traumatico singolo.

Sintomi principali del PTSD complesso includono:

Disregolazione emotiva: difficoltà a controllare rabbia, tristezza, ansia.

Alterazione dell'autostima: sentimenti di colpa, vergogna, o inutilità.

Difficoltà nelle relazioni interpersonali: problemi a fidarsi o a costruire legami stabili.

Ricordi intrusivi: flashback e incubi.

Evitamento: tendenza a evitare situazioni, persone o ricordi legati al trauma.

Sintomi somatici: dolori cronici o disturbi fisici senza cause mediche evidenti.

Cause principali del PTSD complesso

Abusi fisici, emotivi o sessuali prolungati (spesso durante l'infanzia).

Traumi relazionali in contesti familiari o comunitari.

Detenzione in prigionia, schiavitù, o contesti coercitivi.

Libri in italiano sul PTSD complesso

Ecco alcune letture fondamentali disponibili in italiano:

“Il corpo accusa il colpo” di Bessel van der Kolk

Un libro molto noto che esplora l'impatto del trauma sul corpo e sulla mente e introduce tecniche per guarire.

“Traumi e dissociazione” di Onno van der Hart, Ellert R. S. Nijenhuis e Kathy Steele

Approfondisce le basi del trauma complesso e come si manifesta.

“Guarire dal trauma e dall'abuso” di Pete Walker

Un testo pratico per comprendere il PTSD complesso e lavorare su di esso.

“La mente traumatizzata” di Judith Herman

Esamina come i traumi, soprattutto quelli complessi, influenzano le vittime e suggerisce approcci per la guarigione.

“Trauma e memoria” di Peter A. Levine

Esplora come i ricordi traumatici influenzano la vita quotidiana e come affrontarli.

Etimologia di PTSD

PTSD è l’acronimo di Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, che in italiano si traduce come Disturbo da Stress Post-Traumatico.

Origine del termine:

"Post": dopo.

"Traumatic": derivato dal greco trauma (τραῦμα), che significa "ferita" o "danno".

"Stress": originato dal latino strictus, che significa "stringere" o "tensione".

"Disorder": dal latino disordinare, ossia "fuori ordine".

Il termine PTSD è entrato nel linguaggio clinico ufficiale con la pubblicazione del DSM-III (Manuale Diagnostico e Statistico dei Disturbi Mentali) nel 1980.

La storia del trauma: dagli antichi ai giorni nostri

Antichità

Gli antichi greci riconoscevano l'impatto della guerra e del trauma emotivo. Erodoto e altri scrittori descrivevano soldati con “cuore tremante” e sintomi compatibili con il PTSD.

La medicina ippocratica attribuiva i disturbi emotivi a uno squilibrio tra i quattro umori corporei.

Medioevo e Rinascimento

Il trauma veniva spesso interpretato come possessione diabolica o punizione divina. Le cure includevano esorcismi e preghiere.

Leonardo da Vinci, nei suoi studi anatomici e psicologici, ipotizzò connessioni tra il trauma fisico ed emotivo.

XIX secolo

Durante la Guerra Civile Americana si parlava di "nostalgia" o "nevrosi da battaglia" per descrivere i sintomi dei soldati.

In Inghilterra, dopo incidenti ferroviari, comparve il concetto di sindrome da shock ferroviario.

XX secolo

Prima e seconda guerra mondiale:

Il trauma psicologico dei soldati veniva chiamato "shell shock" (shock da bombardamento) o "nevrosi di guerra".

Anni '70:

Il movimento femminista portò all’attenzione pubblica il trauma legato a violenze domestiche e abusi sessuali.

La guerra del Vietnam accelerò il riconoscimento del PTSD come condizione clinica.

Oggi

Il PTSD complesso è riconosciuto come una condizione distinta nel manuale ICD-11 (OMS, 2018), anche se il DSM-5 non lo distingue dal PTSD standard.

La comprensione del trauma si è estesa a molti ambiti, dalla neurobiologia alla psicologia somatica, grazie a ricerche di autori come Bessel van der Kolk e Peter Levine.

[halewynslady]

6. Is there any specific ship you’re planning to include?

Let me give you a list of those stories currently under construction. If I've forgotten any, I'll make another post later.

Angella/Shadow Weaver (obviously. The Roommates one needs its final chapters posted, written out completely in very near finished version.

Weave, huge, written out completely in draftversion, needs edits. This ship is lots of pining, smut and endgame.

Not certain where I left my notes on the short smut story of Angella/Shadow Weaver upon Micah's return.)

VAMPIRES

Cruella/Anita (one very long one, written out competely in draftversion, I am so bad at working chronologically though,

and one shorter written out completely in almost finished version, also includes the ship Alonso/Le Pelt in the background)

Marya Zaleska/Lady Esme (big draft pieces, may end up splitting the story up in a few)

Marya Zaleska/Janet (possibly, only a few snippets on this, one shot)

Marya Zaleska/Lucy (Langella's version, solid draft)

Marya Zaleska/Three Brides

Marya Zaleksa/Lady Dimitrescu/added maids (scenes in the long story, Bleed, is it a ship? Is it simply feeding time with smut? -This story also has Alcina/Miranda that is pining only from Alcina's side. And Miranda/Mia that is pining from Miranda's side.)

Louise/Lena (can't believe I still have to type up those final chapters of my first Wir fanfic) (ship also present in the Tom story but there as pining mostly, since that story is much stronger on Louise/Charlotte.)

subcategory FISH ALIEN:

Rosanna Calvierri/OC (complete in draft)

WITCHES

Muriel/Gretel (complete, only to type up and post)

Princess Faja/upperwitch Bruxamare (finishes on paper, only type up and post)

Griselda/princess Gwendoline (finished on paper, have to type up and post)

Shota/Cara (one shot, old fic, somewhere?)

Nerissa/Cassidy (4 one shots, 2 finished on paper, the pining)

(more) DISNEY

Cinderella/Lady Tremaine (more than four, mainly short ones, largely finished on paper)

Maleficent/OC (one chapter with possibility for more)

Maleficent/Aurora or Rose (two short, typing up and editing)

Maleficent/ lady Tremaine (almost finished on paper)

Maleficent/Drizella (I have no idea guys, I have bits and pieces and questions about what this even is)

Maleficent/Queen Ingrith (finished on paper, need to type up)

Maleficent/Evil Queen (in ongoing colab piece) also features Maleficent/Gothel

Maleficent/femFrollo/Aurosa (long fic, may split it up, mostly smut, in the forest)

Lady WORM

Lady Arabella/Lilla (one story, partly worked out, draft)

ROBOT (chicks dig)

Kate Steward/Mercy Hartigan (complete in draft, smut)

DOLL(?)

Daniella/Fiona (in Bleed, long story, endgame, I love these two)

Miranda/Mia mannequins (several short stories and Bleed)

HUMANS traumatized

Juliana / Francesca (two, largely written out, one sad with smut, one self-indulgent smut)

Ingeth/Sylvie (two, largely written out, one small focus, one fluff and smut)

IMMORTAL PEST *heart* WHO THINKS SHE IS A GOD

She (several stories, mostly one shots) /Ustana-Tanya

She/'lady sad eyes'

She/priestess handmaiden

She/Venus, She/Isis, She/Venus/Isis

Miranda/Mia (even more stories, so many, lengthy ones among them, written out entirely, in draft, a romcom, an Erlking, more Goblin Market, Changeling, and monsterform smut naturally, much typed up and in need of editing)

FAIRY

Fairy Godmother/Queen Lilian (three stories, largely finished on paper, one fake dating, one serious, one fun smutty flashback)

(fairy) GODDESS

Queen Mab/ OC (yes Writing Fairy Stories is still on my worksheet, finished in draft)

Somewhere I have a second chapter to Clara/Missy and a Hannibal/Bedelia short. My finished on paper but yet to type up Tremontaine story has a mention of Diane de Tremontaine/Esha, but not much more than that.

2, 5, 6, 8, 18. 💖

Going to do these at seperate times :D

5) Is there any scene you're excited about writing?

Yes, so many, most of ALL the next chapter to ''I cannot weave'' which I've had unintentionally on hold for about two years now. It is the first sex scene between Angella and Shadow Weaver of this huge story, heralding in a whole series of night time scenes for these two. I love the hell out of this.

[lesamis]

men think they can make good les mis adaptations bc takahiro arai did it. they are not takahiro arai though

[apoptoses]

☕️ + armand's relationship with art

Oof, this is a heavy one.

Clearly he enjoys art, after all, Daniel's rooms in Night Island were filled with the works of the old masters. But I think the type of art will always be a complex issue for him, and when it comes to making art himself?

It's a catalyst for traumatic flashbacks but I think he really needs to do it. He needs to push through that pain, process those difficult feelings about god, and reclaim his ability to be creative. Otherwise those issues will fester inside him forever and never be resolved. If he had a creative outlet I think he'd find himself a lot less numb.

I also think certain styles of art will forever be an odd trigger for him. Like Daniel would pick up that at all their times at museums Armand always avoided the medieval wing with its gilded ikons (something he mentions to Louis and Louis corroborates, because he noticed it on their early 20th century travels too). He'll never go into an old school orthodox church. Baroque churches, even a good proper gothic medieval church he can enjoy but he can't be at ease under Byzantine style paintings of saints.

My personal headcanon is that he likes 18th century art a great deal, because when he came out of the catacombs those works were so glorious to his eyes. Boucher. Fragonard. Even Hogarth, for how funny the characters in his scenes were. The portraits of Gainsborough, so light and playful compared to the heavy feeling of portraits of his youth. Vigee Le Brun, whose ladies remind him so much of Bianca.

With Louis he saw Madame X (and did not understand the commotion about her bared shoulder at all, for she was so elegant and poised) and dove full force into the diverging styles of the early 2oth century. His sensory abilities make works of the impressionists either a delight or a source of distress- the pointillism of Seurat, delightful. Monet's soft gardens, very pleasant. Some of Van Gogh's works? Difficult, depending on his mood. Sometimes they're psychedelic, others, a headache.

But in general he'd find merit in all styles of art, even the ones he personally does not understand.

Oh- and lover's eyes, those little pocket sized paintings of the 19th century. He has one of those for every person he has known and loved, stored in a secret cabinet in Trinity Gate. The day he commissioned Marius to make one of Daniel, that glacier between the two of them melted just a little.