#(When I first saw it I knew I needed to draw him wearing it ASAP)

[fangirl-of-the-end]

Film Red Law

[stateofcharles]

we have your back - LH44

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x fem!reader

word count: ~ 2,1k

warnings: hurt/comfort, harsh language, sexism, RB team

summary: (requested by Anon) Hello! Can I request one with LH44 where you work at Merc, and are like the little girl for everyone in the team, and in one race someone from other team is really mean to you so he defends you 🙏🏼💕

a/n: first request yay :) i added something to the end, lemme know if you like it. keep sending me your ideas, i love reading them and i’ll try to work on them asap <3

“Good morning Y/N!” Angela greeted you as you entered the Mercedes garage that Thursday for media day. You were wearing your Mercedes merch, as usual, and you had sunglasses on the top of your head.

You were a quite known figure in the paddock: despite being very young, recently graduated, you had been working in the F1 world for 2 years already. Everything had started thanks to your dad’s long friendship with Toto Wolff. The Austrian man had always been a constant presence at your house, ever since you were a kid, and when he knew about your studies he hadn’t hesitated to offer you an internship at the Mercedes factory.

Saying that everyone had loved you ever since the first day was an understatement: your outgoing and friendly personality had immediately caught everybody’s attention, especially a certain British driver’s. 

You and Lewis had gradually gotten to know each other and you had developed a strong bond. Despite the age gap, you were great friends and you both knew you could count on each other whenever you needed it.

Over time, it was crystal clear that you were born to work in that environment, you were a natural talent, and it didn’t take a long time before you had a stable job. 

While everyone in your team was really happy and proud of you, it was no secret that some other team didn’t believe the same. More than once you had been told about Marko’s and other Red Bull’s workers bad-mouthing you. The most popular rumour spread by them was that you had gotten your job because you were hooking up with one of the drivers or - even worse - with Toto. That latter was disgusting: Toto was almost a second father to you, how could that thought even cross their mind?

Despite your numerous attempts not to listen to them, those words hurt you. You had always been confident about your capabilities and you really didn’t want some stupid man to ruin that state. That day someone thought it differently though.

“Hiya Ang!” you greeted the woman back, then asked “is Lewis already here? I have some documents he should read before the interviews begin.”

“I’ve seen him heading towards his driver’s room about ten minutes ago, but I don’t know if he’s still here.” You smiled and nodded, then you headed to the drivers’ zone, where you knew you could find the boy. In fact, you saw him just leaving his driver’s room, so you called his name, drawing his attention.

“Hey beauty!” he smiled at you, genuinely happy to see you, and then engulfed you in a big hug. 

“Hi Lew,” you untangled from his arms, immediately handing him the papers, which he gazed confusedly at, “Just some stuff I was told you should read before the conference.”

“What about?” he asked.

“You know, the usual, about which journalists will be there and the kind of questions they could be asking you.” you answered boringly; that pattern would repeat itself almost every race weekend, you knew it by heart basically.

“Well, then I don’t care.” He handed it back to you, “You know that anyway I’ll do whatever I want” he stated with a devilish grin.

“Yeah, sure.” You grinned back, it was impossible not to be affected by his beautiful expression.

“See you later Y/N, gotta go!” he was almost leaving you but before you could wave back, he surprised you by leaving a sweet kiss on your cheek.

You stood in the hallway, unable to move: these interactions weren’t new, but in the past they had always come after a specific event. That was the first time he had acted so spontaneously. You couldn’t deny you had liked it, that would have been hypocritical.

__________

Lewis was sitting in the conference room together with Pierre, Daniel, Mick and Alex. You had managed to sneak in just a couple of minutes after the beginning, and were now standing in the back of the hall. No one had noticed you except for him, his face had immediately lightened up when he saw you, and that had made your stomach clench. You were falling for the driver you worked for, how could you be so pathetic?

You were too busy drooling all over him that you hadn’t heard the question he had just been asked. You were alarmed by his expression, which suddenly became serious, too serious. 

“Sorry, can you repeat, I think I misunderstood.” He was tense, you could tell it by both his tone and his body position: he had brought his elbows on his knees and he was staring intensely at the journalist, his eyes meaning just Tell me I misunderstood because otherwise you’re dead.

“Uhm yeah, sure.” The journalist, a man in his 50s, had as well sensed Lewis’ mood shift, and he was clearly trying to readjust his question. “Have you heard about what’s been said this morning about your team?” He was testing the waters, scared that he may have overstepped.

“No? I didn’t have this pleasure but enlighten me, please.” He was sarcastic, meaning that he had perfectly heard the first question.

“Ok, then-” the man stopped, he was blatantly nervous. “In a press conference this morning it has been said that someone from your team has been hired thanks to some favours done to the people from high up, and it was sworn they would bring evidence.” He had said it all in one breath, and he was now waiting for Lewis’ answer, like all the others in the room. Everyone was silent, and you could see some photographers getting ready as soon as Lewis took a deep breath before replying.

“May I ask who spread those rumours and who are they about?” The boy was still incredibly calm, but you could sense he was soon to blow up.

“I can’t- I mean I was told not to-” the man was stuttering, utterly scared by the Britishman. It was impressive how towering his presence was, he could silence everyone with just a glare.

“Perhaps I should rephrase my sentence: tell me now who said so and who they were talking about. It’s not a question, it’s an order.” He was clearly getting angrier and angrier, you knew he couldn’t stand anyone being disrespectful towards his team, which had been his second family for almost 10 years. 

The journalist sighed desolated, clearly knowing what he had gotten himself into and that he was anyway going to be screwed. “Christian Horner, this morning during an interview for a Dutch channel, and he was talking about Y/N Y/L/N.”

Lewis didn’t seem to react at the beginning, but then he let out a sour giggle before stating, “Why was I expecting it?”

The room was dead-silent, no one dared speak or move. Your heart started pounding and you could see your vision blurring because of the tears: knowing about the rumours was already humiliating, but hearing them from a complete stranger who seemed to believe them was something else. The fact that now Lewis was conscious was even worse. You thought that you were the only one in the team who was aware of them, but now you knew that it was just a matter of time before news would be spread everywhere, and you would start getting hateful messages from anyone. 

When Lewis finally decided to speak, you were still petrified and were barely registering his words. “First of all, tell Horner to mind his fucking business and worry about his team and his team only. Also remind him that the trophy here is for winning the races, not for who spreads more bullshit about other teams, ‘cause he seems to be a pro in this.” His voice was pure ice, but he didn’t seem to want to stop.

“Secondly, nobody from the team owes you any kind of explanation, but since apparently this is the only way you’ll shut up, then I guess it’s on me. Y/N was hired because she’s incredibly talented, she has proved more than once that she has all the requirements and she’s perfectly qualified to work with us, she’s even doing better than many other people who have been there since before her arrival. And then I’d like to ask, but this is just my impression, why hasn’t anyone said anything about Elliott? He’s a friend of Angela’s and he was hired just a couple of months ago, though no one seemed to care about it, am I wrong?” As he kept speaking, you couldn’t help but stare at him, a sense of protection was flowing from his eyes to your body.

“Avoid this kind of sexist comments because if you think they’ll get you some popularity then you’re completely wrong. And now I’m leaving, I don’t care about this shitshow anymore.” As he finished his speech he stood up, he placed the microphone on the chair and headed towards the door. Just before exiting, he seemed to remember something and you saw him walking to you, before grabbing your hand and leaving through the fire exit.

You weren’t really paying attention to where he was leading you, still startled by what had just happened, but before you could realise you found yourself in his driver’s room. Again, he hugged you tightly before whispering in your ear “Let it go” and then was when all your walls broke down. Tears started streaming over your cheeks and then on his shirt, but he didn’t seem to care, he just lifted you up and then sat on his couch with you still clinging to him. 

He nuzzled your neck with his nose, an incredibly intimate gesture that immediately calmed your sobs. When you looked up, you were met with the kindest hazel eyes and the softest smile you had ever seen. He left a kiss on your forehead, one on your nose and then he pecked you on the lips. You widened your eyes but he didn’t seem to notice any change, as if it was routine for him to kiss you like that. 

“You know you don’t have to listen to what some idiot rambles about you right?” He didn’t even wait for your answer, he just kept going on, “Here we all know your value, you are perfect to work here and I know Toto saw that something in you.”

“I- it’s just so difficult Lewis,” your voice was still broken and you let out a deep sigh, “I know I can make it but it’s horrible because their words creep in my head.”

“Why have you never told me about it? You know I’m here for you, right?”

“I know that and I’m extremely grateful to you for this but- I don’t wanna be a burden and I wanna show them I can make it on my own, you know that?”

“I get it but-” he paused, as if he was looking for the best words to voice his thoughts, “This world can be overwhelming and cruel. No one will blame you if you look for help, especially during these first years. The team and I are more than willing to support you in your journey sweetie, just don’t keep all this inside, it’s not healthy.” He left another kiss on your forehead, as if he was sealing his promise.

You couldn’t help but throw yourself in his arms, shaken by that day’s events but extremely grateful for Lewis and your team having your back. You were still processing everything that had happened in the previous hour that you almost forgot about the kiss. Though apparently they boy hadn’t. 

“Can I ask you something?” he was suddenly… nervous? You nodded and he went on, “I know maybe now it’s not the best of times, but I was wondering if- well if you’d like to go out together tonight.” Wait, was he blushing? Lewis Hamilton, 7-time world champion and the man who had just silented a whole room just with his gaze, was blushing… because of you?

You came back to reality when you realised his words. “Go out… like a date? Me and you?” You couldn’t believe your ears, was that really happening?

“Yeah, that was the idea.” He scratched the back of his head, a sheepish smile on his lips, on those flawless lips that had kissed yours just a little while before.

You took his hand in yours, squeezing it, while this time it was you who left a peck on his mouth. “I’d be honoured to.” You whispered back, and you could swear that the smile that adorned his face after was the brightest you had ever seen.

[plainlo-inthemorning]

A Loki TVA/Lokane fic. Rating T.

Previously: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 (of 6)

Shine a Light, part 5

He is aware that the love of his life is digging her fingers into his arm and saying his name.

He is aware of Stark standing to his other side, visor off, speaking to someone on the phone. His voice is hard.

But most of all, Loki is aware that all their lives were just changed by a great big terrifying rip in the seam of reality.

Neither Jane nor the Avenger could possibly be completely sure of what they saw. Loki, as much as he desperately wants to, harbors little doubt.

The man he held in a death-grip only minutes ago and who just now disappeared through a doorway conjured out of thin air was somehow … himself.

Another him. Just as the man had said.

After witnessing from afar the double kiss Jane, Loki, who was coming back from a swim, had been more than ready to skip past introductions and just sever the intruder’s head from his body.

But as soon as he had laid hands on him, a torrent of images had flooded his mind – chaotic, confused images that seemed to span past, present, future and beyond.

The shock had made him lessen his grip and the double had used his (his!) magic to throw him off.

With some distance between them and Stark suddenly there as well, Loki had tried to let his rage quell the dizzying realization. Unsuccessfully.

He is still shaking, clutching a dagger in each hand. He drew them instinctively as the other made for the door.

He should have caught him!

“Loki! What did he say?!”

“What?” His thoughts are racing in too many directions to hear her.

“The … man, what was he saying to you?!”

Jane is looking up at him with those beautiful brown eyes, worry and urgency all over her delicate features. Though not fear, Loki notes. His ever-brave wife. Both her hands are now clamped around his wrist.

That thing kissed her.

The daggers disappear and Loki wraps both arms around the mother of his unborn child, almost crushing her to his chest while still staring at the spot where the double vanished.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, love”, he murmurs. He suspects things are very much not okay.

So does Jane, of course.

“Loki, was it … oof, not so tight … “

She wriggles against him, and he remembers his amor. And her condition. He immediately relaxes his arms a bit while letting the leather and metal melt back into the clothes he wore before: Black jeans and a fitted, dusty green t-shirt (his “rockstar outfit”, Jane had called it, when Loki first started switching up his human wardrobe some years ago now). Drops of saltwater still cling to the ends of his slightly curly raven locks.

“Tony! Jane, Loki! What on Earth was that?”

Pepper jumps out of the car parked in front of the house and runs towards them. She must have seen everything as she drove down the road following her flying husband.

“The verdict’s still out, Peps”. Tony nods at Loki. “You wanna chip in here? I just called the boy-scout at headquarters and told him to be on guard for one of the magician’s interns playing a prank”.

Loki shakes his head slowly.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think Stephen had anything to do with this”.

“You’re right, I didn’t”.

All four of them turn around to see the sorcerer step out of a swirling ring of light, his cape billowing around him. The mahogany floor and paneled walls of his Manhattan mansion are briefly visible behind him before the portal closes with a hiss of little sparks.

Strange is wearing an even sterner expression than usual which only adds to Loki’s growing sense of dread.

Tony, however, groans loudly.

“Dude, really? Couldn’t you at least have let us have dinner before party crashing? Not shaming your bachelor lifestyle or anything, but this was couples’ night!”

“Tony!” Pepper hits her husband on the arm.

Strange ignores him.

“I’m afraid the arrival of your surprise visitor indicates that a set of … unfortunate events have been set in motion”.

As always, his voice is as even as if he was reading the weather forecast, but by now Loki has learned to differentiate the (very) subtle nuances between scorn and sincerity. Strange places his hands behind his back and regards them coolly. “I’ve had Wong reach out to Doctor Banner and director Fury. They should be here shortly. Stark, you may want to-”.

Tony narrows his eyes, lip twitching.

“Hey, Bleeker Street, you know I have low tolerance for you showing up and barking orders without giving two f**** for context. How did you even know that something was going down here? By all means, don’t keep us in suspense until the cavalry gets here”.

Strange doesn’t answer, but the way his eyes dart to Jane sends needles through Loki’s heart.

“Let’s go sit down, shall we?” With one eyebrow raised, Strange puts on a suave smile and gestures towards the house. The effect is a little startling.

Jane ducks out from under Loki’s arms. “Jane, don’t you want to-“. She brushes him off.

“Yes, good idea, Stephen. Let’s go sit down”. She motions for Strange to follow. “Welcome to our home. I was actually making drinks before, but I think I need to add a bit more kick to them…”

Her voice is oddly calm, and Loki fights the urge to grab her and magic them both far, far away, not caring that she would be furious with him for making decisions on her behalf.

He’s brought back to the present by an even odder sound as Strange actually chuckles.

Loki is not sure he’s ever heard it before. Then again, it’s not that he really knows Strange when it comes down to it. Like Tony, Loki finds the wizard exceedingly arrogant.

Pepper is the first to follow Jane and Strange across the lawn while Loki and Tony hang back.

“Real ladies’ man when he wants to. Who would have thought”. The billionaire superhero scoffs. His suit has folded itself off and into a briefcase next to his feet.

“Tony-“

“Uh oh. First name basis. So this really is an emergency”.

Loki faces his friend. Often in the past years, as they’ve grown steadily closer outside of “work”, he has secretly marveled at how long they’ve come since someone threw someone else off a building after being called a diva.

And attacking a city with an alien army.

Jane always insisted the two “hotheads” (her word) had a lot in common when not trying to murder one another (be it with weapons or sarcastic commentary), and Loki has to admit she was right. The metal man is fiercely intelligent, and Loki has been enjoying the quick-witted snark between them infinitely more than he ever valued the company of Thor’s band of gullible warrior groupies on Asgard.

“Well?”. Tony is regarding him with eyebrows raised, expectant. “Give me your take on this cause I’m starting to put together some rather outlandish theories myself here that I’m kinda hoping you’ll thwart ASAP”.

Loki draws in a deep breath.

“That thing with Banner at the tower two years ago-“

“Fuck!” Tony exhales, exasperated. “I knew you were gonna say that”. He squints into the distance towards the ocean, his mouth a tight line. It’s a rare day that Tony Stark is caught under a clear blue sky without sunglasses but for once he doesn’t seem to notice.

Loki takes a step closer to him and lowers his voice so they won’t alert the others just yet.

“I told you then and you didn’t want to listen! Everything about Bruce’s story was off. I know he didn’t remember much after Steve took him down, but you all pretty much accused me of trying to get back at him for, well, you know what, and I kept telling you I thought someone had gotten to him! Now-“

Loki searches for the words. It’s beyond absurd.

“That man was a version of me, Tony. I have no idea how, but I felt it. I saw into his mind. It was filled with images from my past and then … other, recent memories. Dark ones. He came from nowhere. Literally. It didn’t feel like a place. I tried to discard it as a trick, you saw that, but…” Loki runs his hand through his moist hair. “Stephen obviously felt something tear open too. And that is not a good sign”.

He has Tony’s full attention.

“Tear open? Could this other you be associated with your old boss? With Thanos?”

Loki winces.

“No, I don’t think he’s involved”, he says sharply. “But I can’t be sure …”

Tony catches his tone pats his shoulder. “Okay, okay. Shake it off. Didn’t mean to suggest anything. Let’s say he’s not. I’d much prefer that, at least until the wizard presents us with an even uglier imminent threat to the universe. Which, judging by the fact that he’s even here, willingly sipping cocktails in your kitchen as we speak, he probably will”.

Tony throws his hands up with a dramatic air.

“And here I thought the most challenging part of this weekend would be to convince you two to come see Hamilton with us in the city next week!”

“Who’s-“

“Never mind. Did you get a look at that gadget your guy was holding? Boy, he looked like an office slave who’d slept under his desk for a month before getting fired, didn’t he? Were you ever into accounting yourself by any chance?”

Loki shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. Immediately he sees the image of the double kissing Jane, his arms wrapped firmly around her supple body. Rage rushes right back through him and his eyes snap open.

“Stark - I can’t. But yes, I did notice the device. It looked like a phone”.

“Yeah, somehow I don’t think it was the new iPhone”.

Tony shakes his head.

“The two of us and we didn’t take him down. Fury’s gonna have our badges”.

//

The director of SHIELD and Bruce Banner arrive barely 15 minutes later through a portal in the middle of the meadow-like lawn, following Wong and both looking grim and out of place as they weave around patches of wildflowers to reach the porch.

“Gentlemen, I trust you’re well”. Loki greets the trio with an only vaguely sarcastic nod as he holds open the screen doors to them, like a good host. Despite what some may still think, he can behave.

He could have just used magic of course, but he figures Banner is freaked enough as it is just by being here. The scientist hasn’t spoken more than five words to him since 2014 and at least three of them were expletives.

Once inside the small living room, Bruce goes to stand by the window and busies himself polishing his glasses with a little too much vigor than seems warranted.

He avoids Loki’s eyes but looks up and smiles wearily as Jane comes over to say hello.

Fury leans against the doorframe to the hallway and crosses his arms, face a closed book, and, by the sound of it, Tony is going through the cabinets in the kitchen trying to find something to spice up Jane’s pre-dinner cocktails.

Pepper is talking to Strange and Wong on the blue IKEA couch (assembled by magic after the attempt to go at it “as a team” turned into a shouting match), and Loki is about to politely ask Strange to please spit it out right this minute, when Jane is next to him, taking his hand.

“We need to talk. Now”.

Her voice is low and steady but her eyes insisting. She squeezes his fingers.

He squeezes back. “Come”.

Loki looks to Fury but he’s focused on Strange who’s listening very closely to something Wong’s saying.

Not letting go of Jane’s hand, he turns towards the kitchen. In the doorway they pass Tony who’s now holding what appears to be a glass of scotch. He must have given up on the gin and tonics.

“Hey, where are you two going? Forget about playing hosts okay, let’s just get started with part two of the evening’s entertainment”.

“In a minute”.

Jane pushes past him, ignoring Tony’s look and dragging Loki with her.

She closes the door behind them.

“Okay, so…” Jane looks around nervously in the small kitchen with the rustic white fronts and old brass handles. She loves that kitchen. They haven’t changed a thing since moving in. Loki reaches for her, but she takes a step back. “Jane, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have gotten there faster. Did he …“

“I need you tell me exactly what he said to you”.

She is absentmindedly opening and closing her fists in the way she does when that brilliant astrophysicist mind of hers is working out an intricate problem in the lab.

Or, Loki knows, when she’s about to deliver him bad news.

He clears his throat. “He said he was me. And that something big was happening”. There. “And then he said he was sorry”.

Jane studies his face.

“That he was sorry? For what?”

“He didn’t say. He stepped through the door”.

Jane is quiet and now it’s Loki’s turn to try and read her expression.

“What did he say to you? I assume he pretended to be me …?”

Jane holds up a hand and bites her lip. Loki swallows.

“Loki, when we were staying at the flat in London, after we defeated Malekith…”

“What?” Loki furrows his brow in confusion. “Why are we-“

“The poison from the monster’s blade, it had you slipping in and out of consciousness for days. You were so feverish…”

“Yes, I know. I was there”. Loki’s blood is slowly turning very cold, but he musters a smile. “And you were amazing, love. Although some might say you took adv-“

Jane interrupts him in the middle of his blossoming smirk. A slight blush appears on her own cheeks.

“Yes, um, it’s not about that day”. She gives him a stern look. “The other day, later, when Thor left after you two went and had your, um, talk … there’s something I need to tell you …”

The door to the living room opens behind them.

“Actually, if you don’t mind, Doctor Foster, I would very much like to hear this too”.

Stephen Strange steps into the kitchen. The door closes behind him.

Part 6

[alwaysmychoices]

Blind Date

Synopsis: Charlie Greene is finally ready to move on from Ethan Ramsey, and the first step? A blind date with someone else. When Ethan found out, he went out drinking to forget his jealousy, and in downtown Boston, all it took was a call for them to find each other again... 

Chapter 7 of the “with and without” series

Previous Series: “a weekend with dr. ramsey”

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x MC (Charlotte “Charlie” Greene)

Words: 7k+ (sorry it’s so long, but it’s good!)

Tag List included at the end - if you want to be added or removed, let me know!

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Charlie’s pager reverberated in her small locker, dancing as it vibrated against the metal. Charlie jumped, staring at the small device with dread, and she scrambled to reach it. Her stomach sank as her fears were confirmed.

She was needed in the diagnostic unit ASAP.

Charlie read the rolling alert again and again, waiting for it to change.

This couldn’t be.

She’d followed the plan perfectly. It was 7:45, over half an hour after she was supposed to clock out. She’d taken every necessary precaution to avoid suspicion and quietly leave work without anyone realizing where she was going. She’d checked with every patient, every attending she’d reported to today, and even the diagnostic unit itself to make sure there was nothing left for her to do.

At 7:30, she’d gone into the locker room and waited to change until the crowd emptied out. She sent her work clothes home with Sienna, and all she had to do now was covertly walk out of the hospital, call an Uber, and make it downtown before 8:30. If everything went according to plan, no one would know that she was going on a date, especially not Ethan Ramsey.

With slow horror, Charlie turned to face her reflection in the nearest mirror.

Charlie had changed from her frumpy scrubs to the tight, black dress Kyra gifted her for the occasion. It wasn’t the type of dress that Charlie usually wore, which was precisely why Kyra bought it for her. The tight, structured fabric left little to the imagination, especially with the high slit on her right thigh. It was bold and daring, and Kyra hoped that the dress’s power would encourage Charlie to be just as confident.

But now it just made Charlie squirm.

She’d already finished her grand yet quick makeover. Her day-old curls were now teased into a purposeful, sexy ponytail. With a few dabs of concealer and a layer of red lipstick, she’d erased the anxious, sleepless nights she’d wasted worrying about tonight.

She looked good. Suspiciously good. The kind of good that meant she obviously had plans tonight.

“Fuck,” Charlie cursed, checking the pager one more time. She knew she couldn’t ignore it, especially when she was still in the building. It was her job to answer.

Her fingers tight around the pager, Charlie searched her locker one more time for a hidden pair of scrubs, but she came up empty-handed. With more time, she might have been desperate enough to dig through the nearby lockers until she found something else to wear. Had she known Jackie or Sienna’s combination, she surely would have borrowed their clothes, no matter what was in there.

But she’d already taken too long.

So, with a deep breath, Charlie twisted her face into that of firm determination, and she started walking to the diagnostic team’s office. Her heels click-clacked against the linoleum floors, and if everyone wasn’t already staring, they certainly were now. Her skin burned under the attention, but she moved onward, projecting a confident air of disinterest to separate herself from the rumors.

She just needed to walk in, do whatever she was paged for, and leave.

Maybe Ethan wouldn’t even be there… He wasn’t the one who paged.

He didn’t like to listen to gossip. He might not ever find out that she was on her way to a date.

But of course, that would have been too easy.

Before she even reached the door, she saw Ethan’s absurdly tall frame bent over his desk, engrossed in a chart. The rest of the team were settled in the office, each at different points in the room. All of them would see her.

“Fuck,” she muttered for the second time.

Charlie hesitated at the door but forced herself to open it, drawing everyone’s attention as she announced her arrival, “I was paged.”

No member of the diagnostics team could remember being more shocked by Charlie than they were today. No wild diagnosis nor earth-shattering hospital gossip could compare to the wide-eyed silence they gave her.

Of course, none were more stunned than Ethan.

Once his eyes landed on her, he couldn’t tear them away. He’d seen Charlie at varying states, some more vulnerable or confident than others. He knew her worst and best. She was never more beautiful than she was peacefully asleep on his bed, but surely, this came close.

But she wasn’t made up for him.

This was for someone else.

Ethan’s jaw tightened, and the intensity of his stare forced Charlie’s eyes away from his in shame.

Not that she had anything to be ashamed of.

He hurt her and pushed her away. He could have had her. He chose not to.

She had the right to move on. She had the right to dress up and meet new people, and what she did with them was none of Ethan’s business.

So, why did she feel like she’d betrayed him?

“Damn, Charlie,” Baz was the first to speak, seemingly oblivious to Ethan’s rigid reaction, “Where are you going dressed like that?”

“Uh,” Charlie stammered. She hadn’t expected the question, and she struggled to think of an answer to deflect with, “I’m just meeting a friend.

It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth. She didn’t even know who she was going to meet yet. That was the point of a blind date.

“Oh, really?” Baz didn’t take the hint and innocently pushed her further, “I’m planning on heading out tonight, too. Where are you going?”

Panic settled in Charlie’s stomach as she realized she couldn’t escape the conversation, and Ethan recognized the flush to her cheeks as she shrugged, “Some bar downtown. I don’t really remember the name.”

This time, she was lying. She knew exactly where she was going. She was just too afraid of Baz showing up to tell him.

“Those are the best nights – when you’re just running all over town with no real idea where you’re going. I’ll admit that I’m jealous, Charlie,” Baz conceded, “Why don’t you text me and we can meet up at some point? I love your friends.”

Baz meant it innocently, but Ethan watched him like a hawk, carefully dissecting every word he said just to be sure he wasn’t flirting with Charlie.

“Baz,” June sighed in exasperation, “She’s going on a date.” She couldn’t believe her colleague had been so obtuse, even though she found the whole ordeal mildly amusing. She offered Charlie a consoling smile, and Charlie weakly returned it.

Baz’s eyes went wide in shock and then understanding, and he sheepishly rubbed his neck as he apologized, “Oh… That makes sense. Sorry, Charlie.”

“It’s all good,” Charlie felt like she might throw up. This whole interaction would have been uncomfortable on its own, but with Ethan in the room, it was overwhelming.

She didn’t dare look at him after June explained the situation. She couldn’t imagine what he was thinking. Did he even care? Or was he just protective about what he’d once claimed as his own?

Ethan didn’t understand what he felt. Everything was jumbled and chaotic, flashing with bursts of jealousy and disappointment and irritation. Whatever it was rooted deep in his limbs, and it spread through his veins like wildfire. He was overwhelmed and shocked, and he felt like he was drowning as his gaze turned hard.

He couldn’t let her go to another man looking like that. He had to stop her and distract her.

She wanted to be his. She was his.

Ethan felt a profound claim over Charlie’s affection. She was his protégé, his friend, and his colleague, but she was more. She was the person who made him laugh. She was the girl who had tangled in his sheets and brandished the scent of his cologne as she paraded around his apartment in his clothes. She was his Charlie.

Only a week ago, she could have been in his bed.

But he’d said no…

He reminded himself that he was the one who pushed her away. He was always the one who pushed her away, even if he occasionally lost his strength in doing so. It was for the best that they were separated.

Still… he’d never imagined having to watch her move on.

Before he acted like an asshole and ruined her night with unnecessary work, Ethan said, “I had Baz page you to run a few tests on Mr. Johnson, but I didn’t realize you had plans. Go ahead, and enjoy your night. I’ll handle it.”

Charlie met his stare for the second time, losing whatever polite smile she’d plastered on her face to conceal her embarrassment. A small, dissatisfied frown settled on her lips as she nodded in his direction, and she swallowed her disappointment as she thanked him.

Why was she disappointed? This was what she wanted. But there was a small part of her that hoped he would stop her, that he wouldn’t let her go and that she wouldn’t have to move on. She just wanted to hold on a little bit longer.

“Thank you, Dr. Ramsey,” Charlie dropped eye contact, turning to her other coworkers to bid them goodnight. They echoed her sentiments, and Charlie wasted no time in leaving the office, walking as fast as she could without seeming too desperate to leave.

Ethan felt glued to his seat, watching as her figure disappeared down the hallway and listening for the final click-clack of her shoes. Then she was gone…

All of the air seemed to escape Ethan’s lungs, and he felt like he was choking on the weight of the realization that Charlie was lost to him. She was going to another man. She was actively trying to move on from him, if she hadn’t already. She didn’t want to stay in their confusing, volatile relationship.

And even if Ethan was the one who instigated their separation, he was devastated.

Not that he would admit it. Or show it.

Ethan stood, seemingly as stern as ever, and collected his files to begin testing his patient.

“Well… That was super embarrassing,” Baz broke the silence, leaned back in his chair as his hand washed over his face, “I never knew I was that dumb.”

“I knew,” June added, not looking up from her medical journal.

Baz shook his head, letting out a sigh as he offered, “Well, I’m still going out tonight. You interested, Hirata?”

“Thank you, but I’m afraid I’m otherwise engaged,” June declined.

Baz didn’t seem too concerned with rejection, and preparing for another one, he turned to Ethan, “What about you, Ramsey?”

In all of the time they’d worked together, Baz had asked Ethan to go out with him countless times, and Ethan had never said yes. Ethan rarely went out, and when he did, he had a drink or two at Donahue’s and went home. He didn’t run around Boston recklessly searching for adventure, and he certainly wouldn’t have done so with his coworker.

But when Ethan imagined returning to his empty apartment – the one he’d shared with Charlie on many nights – and jealously mourning his loss as he drank alone, anything else seemed preferable.

To his own surprise, he accepted, “Sure. We can leave after I finish the tests.”

Only a block from her destination, Charlie had no distraction to keep her from thinking about what she was doing. After being caught by her pager and revealing her plans to her colleagues, there was no catastrophe. No one else stopped her in the hospital. No surprising patient kept her at work, and no horrific traffic accident prevented her from getting a car downtown. And deep down, Charlie hated it.

She was really doing this.

She was going on a date with someone else.

The idea had been Kyra’s. When Charlie declared her intention to move on from Ethan, Kyra had a million ideas, most of which included kissing strangers until she forgot what Ethan tasted like. This had been the tamest solution, and Charlie agreed, picturing the whole thing as a hypothetical rather than her weekend plans.

Her friends were quick to suggest potential dates. Bryce produced a surgical intern as his nomination, hailing him as one of the “lesser assholes” on the team who would be a perfect rebound because he was too much of a workaholic to establish a serious relationship. Sienna, on the other hand, introduced a charming man she’d met in a coffee shop that oozed commitment and stability. Elijah similarly suggested a nice, stable friend, but Charlie declined both. Jackie thought that the idea of a blind date was ridiculous and suggested they go to a club, get shit-faced, and encourage Charlie to hook up with an attractive stranger.

It was Kyra who suggested David Abbott, a tech guy she’d met at a yoga class. He’d just sold a start-up and was trying to find a healthy work-life balance. They’d run into each other a few more times on Kyra’s mission to experience life and David’s quest to see what he’d missed when he’d dedicated his youth to his company. He was friendly, respectful, and too interested in finding himself to settle down.  

He was perfect.

But all Charlie could think about was the way Ethan looked at her when he realized what she was doing…

The car ride downtown ended too quickly, and Charlie hesitated to step out of the car after paying the driver. She stood on the sidewalk, ogling at the tall building as her determination wavered.

The sun had long set, and a gentle breeze coated Charlie’s bare skin. Summer was nearly over, but Charlie hardly remembered where it had gone. As she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the glass windows, she felt very different from the girl who arrived in Boston last summer. She’d been so many women in this city. The scared intern, the woman bent on survival, and then a ghost of the woman who had loved Ethan Ramsey. Now, it was time to be someone else…

Charlie counted to ten and then stepped inside the luxe water-front hotel, and she made her way to the trendy rooftop bar. The Boston cityscape glittered back at her, illuminating beautiful young people as they milled about. The Boston Harbor reflected the city back into the sky, and under the hazy glow, everything seemed new and bright.

Charlie texted David that she’d arrived, and as she moved through the crowd of people toward the bar, she hoped that she had more time. Maybe he was in traffic or was running behind.

She ordered a mojito, and as she waited for her drink, she admired the view. It was so idyllic – the water, the summer night sky, the first date with a handsome stranger, and the trendy bar where not a soul recognized her. So, why did Charlie feel claustrophobic and cagey? Guilt nagged at her heart, punishing her for a perceived transgression against a man who wasn’t even hers to betray.

She felt restless, and her fingers itched to text David with a feigned emergency. It would have been easy to leave, and the elevator doors seemed to call to her.

You don’t have to do this, they implored, You don’t have to let go of Ethan.

She didn’t decide fast enough.

The bartender shoved her mojito at her, and she ambled off to the railing, staring at the scene below.

“Charlie?”

Surprised by the sound of her name, Charlie shifted her attention to the man approaching her.

“David?” she asked, though she doubted it could be anyone else.

“Guilty as charged,” David produced a hand for her to shake, sparing her from hugging a stranger, and Charlie accepted it thankfully.

As she appraised him, she noted that he looked nothing like Ethan. He was younger, though he shared lines etched into his face by stress. David was shorter, though not by too much, and his fashionably cut hair was blonde. He looked at ease in the bar as his brown eyes surveyed the scene, and he stood differently than Ethan, too. He was open and vulnerable, and Charlie doubted that he was capable of feeling emotion without openly expressing it.

He was everything that Ethan wasn’t.

And that irked Charlie.

Charlie followed David as he led her to a seat by the water. She sat opposite him, her spine straight and her grip on her drink delicate. She felt like she was sitting for an interview rather than a date, but if he was alarmed by her formality, he didn’t let on.

“So, before I embarrass myself, I must confess that I know nothing about medicine. Everything I know comes from Greys Anatomy and the time I went to the emergency room after breaking my leg skiing in college,” David laughed as he took a sip of his drink. It was tall and dark, but Charlie didn’t recognize it. “However, Kyra assures me that you are extremely impressive, and I don’t doubt it.”

Charlie’s posture softened at the compliment, and she blushed, “Kyra has also told me that three separate coffee shops have cappuccinos so delicious that you’ll cry at the first taste, so I don’t know if I would take her word on it.”

David laughed so hard that he had to put down his drink to keep from spilling it, and when he looked back at her, there was a sparkle in his eyes that piqued Charlie’s interest.

“Have you ever tasted a cappuccino that made you cry?” David challenged.

“Not yet, but I’m open to the experience.”

David was smirking.

Charlie found herself smirking back.

“So far, you’re exactly as great as Kyra said. Unless you’ve got some wild hidden skeleton in your closet,” he shrugged, “Like maybe this all a rouse to murder me in an alley.”

“Damn, you ruined my plans,” Charlie played along, “I guess I should go home.”

“I swear, all the good ones are serial killers,” David shook his head with feigned disappointment, and it made Charlie smile.

She added ‘funny´ to her list of what she knew about David.

“What about you? Living out a bucket list at 30? That’s a little suspicious,” Charlie teased, though her curiosity was apparent.

“I saw it in a romantic comedy and thought it would make women fall in love with me.”

Charlie gasped, shoving David lightly with her leg, and he beamed back.

“Alright, alright. I’m kidding,” David conceded, “I spent my entire twenties trying to make something of myself. I skipped parties, dates, holidays, everything. As ridiculous as this sounds, I loved my company. Like, true love. Like, someone should have sent me to therapy sort of love,” David quipped and seemed satisfied that Charlie was amused, “When I sold my company, I didn’t know what to love anymore. I’m on a quest for love. I think that’s what we’re all looking for, really.”

Charlie hummed appreciatively, sipping from her mojito. If he could dedicate himself so fully to moving on from the loss of something he loved, maybe she could do the same. Maybe they could do it together.

“How philosophical for someone I met fifteen minutes ago,” Charlie teased.  

“Ahh, but you haven’t left yet. So, I must not have scared you off,” David celebrated.

And he hadn’t.

Three drinks later, they were still seated by the water, talking. The bar’s crowd expanded, and more than a few patrons eyed their seats enviously. The music had gotten louder, too, so they had to lean closer to share their funny stories and humorous observations. More than once, David’s hand landed on her knee when he leaned in to tell a joke, and Charlie let him.

She liked David Abbott, and the date was going well.

Still, when she smiled at David, she thought about Ethan.

He was always in the corner of her mind. She wondered what he would do if he were here, what he would say or drink. Where would he have taken her on a blind date? What sort of first impression would he have left? Would he have kissed her goodnight or said goodbye at the door?

She tried to put that out of her mind as she listened to David share a story about a crazy roommate in college, and she was so determined to be entertained that she didn’t notice the two men enter the bar.

Because if she had, she wouldn’t have cared about David’s story. She might not have even cared about David.

“This place is packed!” Baz felt like he had to yell to make sure Ethan heard him, and Ethan nodded his agreement, remaining silent.

Ethan was eager to start drinking, and he didn’t care how busy the bar was. He’d agreed to go out with Baz with the sole intention of distracting himself from Charlie. Sober, he couldn’t get her out of his mind, and he couldn’t sit under the weight of his regret and jealousy.

“I’m going to circle the bar to find a place to sit! You stay here and look for one, too!” Baz suggested, “If either of us finds something, we’ll text each other, okay?”

He agreed, and Baz set off to make his loop.

Ethan surveyed the landscape. Everyone was young and hip, and it made Ethan feel old in comparison. Several women were looking in his direction, and for a moment, he was tempted to approach them. It would serve Charlie right. She should be just as jealous as he was…

But when he imagined taking another woman home just to spite her, he felt sick. He didn’t want to hurt Charlie more than he already had. And he really didn’t want anyone else.

So, he quickly averted his eyes and searched the edge of the party, where most of the seats had been filled by couples. He craned his neck to see if anything was available, and that’s when he saw her.

Charlie.

Leaning into another man. Listening to him. With his hand on her knee. And she was smiling.

Ethan’s world seemed to stop moving. Everything else faded to the back. He couldn’t hear the music or the crowd, but he could hear her laugh. He could see her smile and feel the warmth, even at a distance. She glowed under the moonlight, and in his gut, Ethan knew she was happy.

He stumbled back, unable to look away.

It was one thing to know that she should move on and find someone else.

It was another to watch her do it.

He wanted to intervene and tell her that he’d changed his mind – that he’d seen the light and knew that he needed her in his life.

But that wasn’t fair either.

Ethan’s phone buzzed, and he fumbled for the device, only looking away from Charlie to read the text on his phone.

Baz: it’s full here. any luck?

Ethan: None. Should we leave?

Baz: meet you at the elevator

Ethan exhaled a deep sigh of relief, eager to get the hell out of there and never return. But when he started to walk away, he hesitated. He didn’t want to leave her… He didn’t want to let her go.

In the end, he didn’t let go, not really. He just left the bar and went to another, and he drank until he stopped hearing her laugh ring in his ears.

Charlie and David stayed at the bar for a little while longer, sharing weird experiences in public transit and funny stories about their college roommates. David suggested getting pizza, and when Charlie admitted that she’d only had a protein bar for dinner, he wouldn’t let her say no to a slice. David paid the tab, and as soon as they were in the elevator, he began bragging about the best pizza place in town and how he and all of his friends had frequented it back in the day.

It was close enough to walk, and they fell into a comfortable rhythm. It was there that Charlie realized that this could have been more than a first date. It could have been spending the night together or dinner next Friday. It could be a weekend out of town to see the leaves in the fall. It could be dinner at the loft to meet all of her friends. It could be real.

And suddenly, Charlie really missed Ethan.  

They were only a block from the pizza place when Charlie’s phone buzzed in her purse. She fished it out as they waited at a crosswalk, and she twisted her face in surprise at the caller ID.

Baz.

“Sorry about this, a friend is calling,” Charlie apologized to David, though he assured her that she didn’t need to.

When she accepted the call, she could hardly hear over the roaring bar in the background. But Baz was there. He was laughing and seemed oblivious that Charlie had even answered.

“Hello? Baz?” Charlie called out, “Are you there?”

“Charlie!” Baz exclaimed, so excited that she wondered if he had forgotten that he even called. He was definitely drunk, “You’ve got to get down here! We’re having the best timeeeeeeee.”

“Maybe you should call it a night, Baz,” Charlie warned him softly, crossing the street by David’s side.

“Noooo, I couldn’t do that! Ethan would be crushed.”

Charlie’s heart stopped. Ethan.

“He’s soooo drunk, Charlie. He’s, like, dancing,” Baz confided, “Between you and me, I think he’s pretty far gone. Somebody should probably call him a car.”

If Baz was this drunk and was worried about Ethan, something had to be wrong. Charlie felt sick.

“Is he okay? Are you okay?” Charlie’s voice had taken an edge of panic, and David looked to her in concern.

“I’m fine,” Baz insisted, “But Ethan… I mean, he is drunk, Charlie.”

“Can you take him home?” Charlie felt like she was begging. Ethan didn’t do this. Someone needed to help.  

“But we’re having a great time!” Baz huffed, sounding like a child annoyed at having to end his party.

“Baz,” Charlie was frustrated, “He needs to go home. You need to take him home. Where are you? I can send an Uber.”

“Are you coming to the bar?” Baz must not have heard all she said, or maybe he was too drunk to care, “We’re at The Hub. I can’t wait to see you!”

Click.

Charlie’s face paled as she pulled the phone away from her and confirmed that he’d hung up on her. Anxiety built in her chest, making it tight and uncomfortable. She imagined Ethan, too drunk and under the faulty care of an intoxicated Baz, and she wanted to throw up.

She hadn’t realized that they’d reached the pizza restaurant until David stopped walking.

Distracted, she stopped and looked to David, waiting for some kind of cue to enter the small restaurant. She couldn’t think about sitting down and eating, not after Baz’s call. She felt like she needed to get there as soon as she could and save them before something horrible happened, but she didn’t feel like she had the license. She was supposed to forget Ethan, not run to him on her first date with someone else.

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” David phrased it like a question, shoving his hands in his pockets, but he knew it was the truth.

“I’m sorry,” Charlie confessed, “I’m just really worried about my friend.”

David nodded like he understood, “You sure you’re not just ditching?”

“I’m not ditching,” Charlie shook her head, “I had fun.”

“I did, too,” David confessed, “Raincheck on the pizza?”

“Deal,” Charlie agreed quickly, though something felt strange about her promise. Was she really sure she would make it to the second date?

“Good luck with your friend,” David wanted to be encouraging, but he really didn’t want to let her go. He liked Charlie more than he expected he would, but he sensed the flight in her. There was something in her eyes that made him unconvinced that he would ever see her again. He kissed her cheek just in case it really was goodbye.

“Thank you for a nice time, David,” Charlie didn’t want to seem final, but as she awkwardly waved goodbye, it felt final anyway.

The Hub was only a few blocks away, and after a short walk, Charlie found herself in a small, crowded pub. It was impossible to hear anything over the thundering music and conversation, so she pushed through the crowd to find a familiar face.

She found Baz first.

He was sitting at the bar, beer in hand as he talked to another man. The closer she got, she realized that they were debating politics. Though they agreed on most topics, their remaining disagreements made the conversation contentious and animated. Stacks of empty shot glasses sat in front of Baz, and there was no way he’d finished all of them. At least some of them must have been Ethan’s.

Charlie fought through the throngs of people to reach Baz, and she tapped on his shoulder to get his attention.

“Charlie!” Baz exclaimed, wrapping Charlie in a hug, and she was too surprised to reciprocate. Baz pulled her to his side, “This is my friend Charlie! Charlie, this is Damien. Damien doesn’t think that corporations are responsible for going carbon neutral in the next decade! Can you believe that?”

Baz fumed, ready to start a war with Charlie at his side, but Charlie merely shook her head, leaning to his ear to ask, “Where is Ethan?”

Baz looked around quickly, seeming surprised that Ethan wasn’t beside him. After a beat, he remembered and yelled, “He went to the back!”

“Okay,” Charlie took her phone, opening the Uber app and handing it to him, “Call a car to your apartment. We’re leaving as soon as I find Ethan, alright?”

Baz pouted but complied. Trusting that he was drunk enough to go home but not in immediate danger, Charlie left Baz to finish his debate. The space was small enough that it only took Charlie a few minutes to reach the back of the bar, though she had to shove several patrons just to get by. They mumbled insults as she passed, yet she hardly heard them. She needed to find Ethan.

And she did.

Ethan Ramsey was leaned against the wall, too dizzy to stand straight. He’d been marooned in this corner when his latest drink made the world spin too fast, and he couldn’t collect himself enough to walk back to the front. He’d tried once, only to nearly fall on his face. So, he’d camped out here, watching the partygoers. There were too many couples looking happy, and he rolled his eyes at every single one. Why had they gotten it all right?

Ethan’s vision was hazy, so he didn’t believe it when he saw Charlie approach him.

Relief surged through Charlie’s veins, bringing tears to her eyes as she approached him. Instinctively, she wanted to hold him and kiss that stupid expression off his face, but she felt held back.

“Charlie?” Ethan slurred, still convinced he imagined her.

“Come on,” Charlie held out her hand, “I’m taking you home.”

He wanted to tell her that he’d seen the two of them together, that he was jealous and miserable because of it. But instead, he whined, “I’m dizzy.”

“That’s okay,” Charlie’s voice was soft as she hooked her arm around his waist, stabilizing him. He leaned into her just enough to walk straight, and together, they moved through the crowd. By the time they reached Baz, he had successfully ordered a car, and Charlie fished Ethan’s credit card out of his wallet to cover the tab. She forced Baz to end his debate with his new friend, and she towed the two men out of the bar.

On the sidewalk, Baz and Ethan gulped the fresh air. Ethan leaned back against the façade of the building, trying to catch his breath, and while Charlie stood back, she watched him with concern.

Baz was telling her something funny about the bartender, but Charlie hardly heard a word.

When the car arrived, they squeezed into the backseat. Ethan got in first, leaning against the cool window to sober up, and when Charlie slid in beside him, his arm wrapped around her waist as if anchoring himself to her. Baz was the last to enter the car, and he kept talking. The driver entertained him, laughing at whatever Baz’s joke was.

“I have a secret,” Ethan’s whisper was soft as he leaned into Charlie, his head resting on her shoulder.

Charlie’s hands were in his hair, massaging soothing circles in his scalp as she asked, “What is it?”

“You can’t tell Charlie,” Ethan declared, his words slurring.

“I won’t,” Charlie assured him, feeling a tad guilty at the deception.

“I saw her on her date,” he confessed, “And I miss her. So much. I want her to be happy… But I miss her.”

Charlie’s chest tightened, and her heart raced, “You see her every day.”

Ethan shook his head, “She doesn’t want to be around me. I hurt her. I meant to hurt her. I want her to find better than me.” His voice wavered, thick with emotion.

“She misses you, too,” Charlie professed breathlessly, suddenly aware of every missing piece she’d been looking for with David.

She missed Ethan. She’d missed Ethan from the moment she lost him in the spring.

Ethan hummed, his eyelids heavy as he fell further into Charlie.

At some point, they had reached Baz’s apartment building. He gave Charlie a tight hug, disturbing Ethan’s peaceful rest, and he bid them both goodnight.

“This was so much fun! We have to do this another time!” Baz called out after he’d already closed the door, cupping his mouth to make sure they’d heard it. Charlie laughed, watching as he waved until they faded into the distance.

Even with the open seat, Charlie didn’t move from the middle. She held Ethan in her arms, steadying him as dizziness and nausea gripped him. Even in his drunken stupor, he promised himself to never drink this much again.

Ethan’s apartment wasn’t much farther away, and Charlie thanked the driver as she slipped out of the backseat. She offered her arm to Ethan as he stood, and he wrapped himself around her. Though he towered over Charlie, he walked in step with her, arm around her waist and head bent to hers. He managed to give her the key to let her in the building, and he gagged at the sudden movement of the elevator. Charlie’s hand ran the length of his back to keep him calm.

When they entered his apartment, Jenner roused from his slumber to greet them. He barked excitedly at Charlie, and she smiled at him, showering him in compliments as she promised to pet him soon.

“I feel sick,” Ethan announced, eyes hooded, and she swore he was turning green.

“Okay,” Charlie soothed his hair, feeling the sweat on his brow, “Let’s go to the bathroom.”

Ethan didn’t object as she steered him through his apartment, leading him to his master bathroom. He dropped to the floor, relieved by the cold tile, and Charlie wet a cold rag to cool him down.

“How are you feeling?” she asked tenderly, kicking off her high heels to kneel beside him.

“I feel fine,” Ethan lied, “I just need a cold shower and I’ll be perfect-“ Ethan didn’t get to finish that thought before another wave of nausea hit, and he scrambled to the toilet bowl, throwing up hours of vodka shots and pretzels. Charlie sat with him through it, tracing patterns on her back to soothe him.

Even in his clouded state of mind, he appreciated that she was there.

When he was done, he grimaced, “I think I’m dead.”

“You just threw up. You’ll be fine,” Charlie rolled her eyes, smiling at him as if he hadn’t just puked in front of her. She offered a washcloth to wipe his mouth with, which he accepted, and then a little cup of mouthwash, “Gargle this.”

“I might throw it up.”

“You won’t if you don’t swallow it,” Charlie shoved the small cup at him, and he begrudgingly took it.

Ethan gargled the mouth wash before spitting it back up in the toilet bowl. He flushed it down and stood, feeling shaky and exhausted.

“Do you want to go to bed?” Charlie offered, holding his hand.

Ethan nodded, failing to find words that sat well on his stomach. He wanted to thank her, but he worried that if he spoke too much, he would start vomiting words instead of pretzel.

Holding on for stability and comfort, Ethan let Charlie lead him back to his bedroom. He kicked at his shoes, struggling to get him off his feet as Charlie pulled back the duvet. He peeled off his clothes, throwing them in a pile by his bed, and he fell into the cool sheets with a relieved sigh.

“Roll on your side. You’re not going to sleep on your back, okay? Do you promise me?” Charlie’s voice was surprisingly authoritative, and though the room was still spinning, he did as she said. She didn’t want to leave him alone, not when she’d just watched him throw up a shelf worth of alcohol, but she wasn’t sure if she could stay.

“Are you-“ Ethan swallowed, looking queasy, “leaving?”

Ethan’s eyes opened fully. This time, he could see her without blurry edges or double vision. She looked so pretty, so concerned…

He looked hurt and dejected by the idea of her leaving, and her stomach dipped.

“I probably should…” Charlie didn’t sound sure of herself.

Ethan nodded like he understood, but his head felt like it had gone through a blender. He couldn’t really process anything other than she was here.

“Stay until I fall asleep,” he murmured, eyes already fluttering closed.

Charlie couldn’t say no.

As she sat on the bed beside him, she tried to convince herself that it wouldn’t be long. Soon, he would be asleep. Then, she could leave. She just had to wait.

“Just until you fall asleep,” Charlie was mostly talking to herself as Ethan flipped on his other side to face her. She couldn’t resist the urge to smooth his hair out of his face, eyes soft with worry.

Ethan’s arm draped over her waist lazily. His head fell to the pillow beside hers, his body warmth radiating to Charlie’s skin. He felt warm and vulnerable and, despite being sick, at ease. And somehow Charlie felt at home.

“My Charlie…” Ethan murmured, half-asleep but smiling, and knowing he couldn’t see her, Charlie allowed herself to smile as her heart swelled with affection.

My Ethan, she thought.

What a fitting end to a first date. All she proved was that she would always run to Ethan, but instead of being disappointed in herself, she stayed in the moment and weakly promised herself that she wouldn’t do it again.

But she had a habit of breaking promises when it came to Ethan…

The next morning, Ethan woke with a start. His head throbbed, and his throat burned with acid from the night before. The act of sitting up in bed nearly made him lose whatever food was left in his stomach, and he held onto the headboard to stabilize himself. Even with the lights off and every curtain drawn, it was too bright in his room.

“What the fuck?” Ethan groaned, taking long deep breaths to get himself together.

His eyes fell to the empty, rumpled sheets beside him.

She left, he realized.

He knew she would. She even warned him the night before. Yet waking up without her felt wrong and unexpected.

“Stop it,” he chastised himself, “You pushed her away.”

Ethan hauled himself out of bed, feeling gross and in desperate need of a shower. He pulled on a t-shirt from his closet and stumbled out of his bedroom. He was on a mission to make himself a hot cup of coffee, no matter how hungover he was. He fumbled with the kettle, cursing himself for not owning a simple coffee maker, and he went through the process, occasionally covering his eyes to shield himself from the sun coming through his windows.

Click.

Ethan jumped, turning his attention to his front door as the lock clicked into place and the knob turned. Who the hell would be coming in his apartment? Fuck, was his dad making a surprise visit? He couldn’t see him like this. He didn’t want to see anyone. He just wanted to hide in his bed.

Just as Ethan feared, the door swung open, and there was a bark on the other side.

“What the fuck?” Ethan murmured.

As if released from his leash, Jenner bounded into the apartment, running up to Ethan and rising on his hind legs to get his master’s attention. Ethan absently scratched his ears, eyes still wide as he tried to understand what was happening.

Then he saw a flash of blonde hair.

Charlie entered the apartment, empty leash in one hand and his apartment key in the other. She was still wearing her dress from the night before, though it looked rumbled and disheveled now. Ethan slowly realized that she’d slept here. And she’d stayed.

“Oh, you’re up,” Charlie looked surprised to see him, “I just… um, took Jenner for a walk.”

“Thank you,” Ethan couldn’t wipe the look of shock off his face, “I didn’t expect to see you.”

Charlie shrugged, chewing on her lower lip as she tried to seem nonchalant, but how do you appear casual after dropping everything to pick up an old fling and spending hours caring for him?

“Thank you for last night, too,” Ethan knew he was appreciative, though he didn’t know how appreciative he should be. He could hardly remember a thing other than seeing her on her date, going to a bar, and then riding home with her.

“You’re welcome,” Charlie laughed, “As soon as Baz called and told me you were dancing at a bar, I knew you two needed to call it a night.”

“I was dancing?” Ethan repeated incredulously.

“I mean, by the time I got there, you were just glaring at people from a corner, but I trust Baz,” Charlie admitted.

“God,” Ethan grimaced, leaning against his kitchen cabinets as he marveled at how foolish he’d made himself, “I’m sorry you had to deal with that, Charlie.”

“I didn’t mind,” Charlie was surprisingly truthful. She knew she should have resented him for interrupting her night, but she couldn’t will herself to be annoyed, “Besides… You saved me from my drunk self once. I was just returning the favor.”

Right.

The night she texted him drunk before the ethics hearing. He’d searched all of Boston to find her, and they’d spent the weekend in his apartment hiding from the world. That was their beginning.

Ethan found himself smiling at the memory. Everything seemed brighter and better then, even if it was the darkest point in his mental health. He’d had Charlie, and somehow, that was enough.

“Can I make it up to you with breakfast?” Ethan offered, hoping to reward her for her generosity but also desperate to keep her here a little longer.

“You feel up to cooking?” Charlie asked suspiciously.

“Oh God, no. I’m going to order. I almost threw up making this coffee,” he motioned vaguely to his French press, and Charlie bit back her laugher.

“Okay…” Charlie was smiling, and it made his knees feel weak, “Breakfast it is. But if you throw up again, I’m not holding your hair.”

Ethan smirked, shaking his head, “No promises.”

“Well…” Charlie shrugged, “I’ll stay anyway.”

Note: I tried making a collage with the dress and bar I pictured, and idk, I might keep doing it. 

Tag List

@honeyandsunfl0wers @jens-diamondchoices @desmaranj @octobereighth @flyawayboo @fanficnewbie @togetherwearerapture @perriewinklenerdie @noboundariesplease @paulfwesley @x-kyne-x @caroldxnvxrs @paisleylovergirl @drakewalkerfantasy

@chasingrobbie @soft-for-drake @choicesyouplayandmore @crazy-loca-blog @playchoicesheaux @senseofduties @queencarb @save-the-sky @openheart12 @omg-its-vixen @odetomars @rookieoh @drakewalker04 @mysecretlifeofdaydreams @delaytheinevitable

@hopefulmoonobject @malvolari-take-my-soul @nomadics-stuff @the-pale-goddess @schnitzelbutterfingers @trappedinfandoms @heauxplesslydevoted @lilyvalentine @mvalentine @elwetritsche75 @jessirosebud @lion-ess24 @sturnsun @canknot @wonderwithrobin  @jooous @eramsey28 @binny1985 @tsrookie @whippedforethanramsey @kaavyaethanramsey @macy-ray85 @canigetanawwjunk

[nyainheat]

wow i cant believe the second full fledged smut piece i’m releasing is between an oc of mine and my friends, @ashengro-tto

tw: tentacle pp, not revised we die like men, they/them pronouns w/ female genitals, naughty adult time themes, age difference

“Marlowe?! What’s wrong?!” Meglapus sprinted to them as they suddenly collapsed in the doorway. He recoiled when the scent hit him, knowing immediately what was wrong. “They just started acting weird a few minutes ago! I don’t know what happened!” Grim wailed, tears in his eyes.

“Grim.” Meglapus snapped his fingers at the grey cat monster, “Grim! Listen to me.” he waited for his attention. “Where did you just come from?” Grim sniffled, “O-Octavinelle, we ate dinner th-there.”

He clicked his tongue, knowing instantly what had happened. “Let’s get our dear housemate to your room for now,” he cast a sleep spell, though it didn’t do much. In their sleep they continued to breathe deeply and moan, legs moving in an attempt to get some friction going.

Carefully Meglapus lifted them and headed for their room, instructing Grim to bring him his phone. Marlowe’s red husky, Minestrone, had heard the commotion and was pacing around Meglapus’s legs, whining. He jumped on the bed when his master was laid upon it. He licked their face, hoping to bring some comfort in their restless sleep. Grim joined him on the bed once he’d handed the phone off to it’s owner, sitting on the opposite side still sniffling.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

A few minutes later, Meglapus told Grim to head over to the water witch’s dorm. “You’ll be spending the night there.” he explained, “Azul will explain the situation once you get there.” Grim wanted to argue, but knew if their housemate had been the one to settle things everything would be fine.

“I’ll go with you!” Minestrone spoke up, “I don’t like seeing master like this, and you’ll need some company.” Grim flung his arms around the husky, “you’re not so bad after all, I guess.” Meglapus couldn’t speak dog well, but got the gist of what had been said.

“Our dear Marlowe will be fine by tomorrow, I assure you.” he promised as seeing them off, “I’ll text Azul the moment they’ve recovered so he can tell you asap.”

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Once he saw them off, he inhaled deeply. Walking back into the room, Meglapus wondered if a gas mask would be helpful in clearing his mind of this sweet smell. Snapping his fingers, he dispelled his magic.

“Marlowe,” he spoke gently as they roused, pinching himself when they groaned. “Marlowe, it’s me. Wake up dear, we need to talk.”

Marlowe curled into a ball, sweating profusely. “M-Meglapus,” they groaned, clutching their clothes, “everything’s hot and my body feels weird…”

“Shh, shh, I know dear, I know. You’ve been given an potion that makes you horny, a very strong one to boot. Do you want me to put you to sleep until it wears off?” they shook their head so violently he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Then you’ll have to relieve yourself, that’ll help the effects wear off sooner. Is there anything I can do to help-!”

Marlowe yanked the tall male down onto the bed, straddling him. “I want you.” they began kissing him roughly. Meglapus instinctively returned the gesture, mind becoming hazy thanks to the sweet scene oozing off them. But the merman quickly snapped out of his trance.

“Wait wait wait,” he sat up, pushing Marlowe away with a whine, “now, let’s be rational about this.” the human pouted, hands clutching onto his vest. “I want you, I want to feel you inside me! I’ve wanted to for a while now. I want to feel your body on mine, I want it so badly. Meglapus, please please fuck me!”

Staring at the small human, a smirk slowly forming across his handsome face.

“Very well, I shall treat you tonight, my dear angelfish~” wasting no time, Meglapus carried them to his own room. Even if this was out of the blue, he wanted to make the night as romantic as possible. Using his magic, he disgared any blankets covering his bed except the thinnest one.

Setting his partner down gently, Meglapus pulled back from their kiss. He chuckled when they whined in protest, “now now, be patient my dear. We need to get some things out of the way,” he creased a hand up their leg, grinning as they shivered.

“First and foremost, have you been touched before?” Marlowe let out a shaky breath feeling his lips ghost over their neck, shaking their head. “Do you want to take the lead?” another head shake. “Where do you want me to cum?” “i-inside me- AH-!” Marlowe moaned loudly as he bit down with his sharp teeth. Drawing his tongue over the love mark, he pulled away.

Pulling off his shirt, Marlowe got a full view of their partner. Beautifully toned muscles enveloped his arms with a chest and eight pack littered with scars. “Enjoying the view?” he asked with a smirk, snapping his fingers so the lights dimmed down. He took off his gloves in a less showy fashion, that could be saved for another time.

Following his lead, they started removing their skirt. “Allow me.” he stopped them before they could start on their shirt. Lifting them up, he sat them on his lap so they straddled him. Slowly, he unbuttoned them, leaving them only in a bra and panties. “You’ve got a wonderful eye,” he said, giving their legs a squeeze. “These colors match your eyes perfectly~”

Suddenly feeling shy, they tried to shrink back. “Ah ah ah,” he tutted, “no need to shy away my dear, you’re gorgeous through and through. See?” moving his hands to their hips, he pushed them down as grinded into them. The moan they let out only made his cock twitch with anticipation.

Moving them to lay on their back, he kissed them. It was gentler than the one from before, mouths moving slowly together. A surprised squeak left Marlowe feeling his tongue invading their mouth.

A sting of saliva stretched between the two as they separated. Meglapus moved down to their crotch, pulling off their panties. He licked his lips seeing how wet they were. Their juices had drenched their panties and coated their pussy so much any light that hit it caused it to shine. His cock staining painfully in his pants twitched.

Standing on his knees he unbuckled his pants, quickly removing them along with his boxes. Marlowe’s eyes widened, his dick wasn’t like a humans. Instead it had suckers like the tentacle of an octopus would have, and the top was tipped in a bright blue, and was a LOT longer.

“Now then,” he spread their legs, pulling them around his hips. “Are you ready?” and with the okay, he eased his tip into them. Marlowe moaned louder than they had all evening. Their toes curled and hands gripped the sheets below.

“Tell if it’s too much, my dear~” the merman purred, easing himself into the tight hole slowly. All Marlowe could do was moan, all thoughts becoming lost in a haze of pleasure.

When he bottomed out, Meglapus congratulated his partner. “You did so well, taking all of me in like this. How does it feel to have me inside you? To feel me touching all your special spots? Hm?” he moved his hips slightly, earning a lewd groan from them. “How would it feel, I wonder, if I were to…” pulling back a few inches, he pushed back into them, feigning innocence when they jolted in pleasure. “Oya oya, guess that’s one way to make you sing~” he mused, pulling back again and beginning a steady pace.

The slapping of skin against skin filled the room, accompanied by sinfully lewd moans. It was too much, it all felt too good. The heat in them was building up. They would be undone any moment now. And then they were.

Meglapus grinned proudly as Marlowe came, but didn’t pause in his rhythm. “Now that you’re all loosened up,” he purred, eyes gleaming in the dim light as he watched their body twitch from the pleasure they’d just endured. “I believe it’s time for the main course.” It was going to be a long night.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Forget Me Not ~ YJG [Request]

➵➵➵Word count: 2,500

➵➵➵Genre: ermmm thriller??? mystery??? FLUFF

➵➵➵Pairing: Yang Jeongin x reader

➵➵➵A/N: This is my first time writing something with this kind of genre, I hope I did it justice enough for you as I was unsure of how to make it work. I hope it's okay though if not feel free to message me and I will rewrite the entire thing or write you something new. Love You.

The music you produced was like angels singing to Jeongin he adored everything you ever released and spent most of his free time listening to your music or looking up information on your fandom. The Stray Kids vacation was coming up and so was one of your concerts so he was planning on going to watch you live but as he delved deeper into your life and the fandom that surrounded it things started to feel weird. He noticed that the fans, named H.E.A.R.T.S after your stage name H.E.A.R.T seemed to be a little bit off, there was something there that didn't seem quite right. Normally fans were there to support the artist in everything you did but yours seemed to want to stop you from growing, making sure your music stopped at certain limits, stopping certain people from seeing interviews or photographs, everything was under lock and key with you and the company you worked for. Your real name was always hidden from the media and no one saw you unless the company allowed it, you weren't spotted out by paparazzi ever, and you were never seen except for live performances and interviews.

"What are you doing?" Chan asked when he walked in on the youngest member going through something on his laptop, I.N was trying to figure out more information on you but every website he seemed to go onto was blocked without proper passwords or hacking being needed. 

"Ah, you're looking for H.E.A.R.T?" Jeongin looked up at the leader nodded and looked back down to the laptop, it was so weird that things around you were the way they were and he wanted to figure out why. 

"No one knows the passwords unless they've been given them," Chan stated taking the laptop away and shutting it, 

"No one knows who she is though...What's her name? Her age? Where does she come from?!" Jeongin was really interested in finding out everything and anything he could about you, and maybe that was the point in your fandom being so secretive, so that it would drawer more and more people into the investigation that was your life but all he knew was he wanted to know more.

Jeongin had tracked down the company you worked for using JYP's accounts thinking it would work better than a normal email, another company looking to collab with H.E.A.R.T is what he was posing as. Trying to discover anything he could, 

Dear Mr J.Y. Park, 

We would be delighted to let your singing Mr Yang Jeongin work with our artist H.E.A.R.T as we believe it would be a fantastic opportunity for them both to widen their fanbase however, H.E.A.R.T. is under a very strict time-consuming contract and we would have to have them record things separately, only meeting for one performance. We will arrange a conference call between H.E.A.R.T and Jeongin when the time is right for you, please let us know ASAP what your thoughts on this will be. What kind of song he will want to produce and we will get back to you. 

Yours, 

Sync Industries

Seoul, South Korea 

That was a start, at least now he knew you were located in Seoul somewhere and he could work from there, he felt like one of the detectives he'd always seen on the TV or in mangas. He began replying the email and then going on to do his best to figure out more about you now he knew where you were and the company name that represented you. 

He paced back and forth in the hallway of the apartment building he was standing in, he'd managed to find out where your family were living, your last name and he'd been fighting to go and see them for the last three days debating with himself if he would seem like a crazy stalker but there was nothing crazy compared to your fandom. He needed answers and he needed them now. He didn't tell anyone where he was going or what he was doing, he knew Chan would disapprove of this whole thing but he had to know what was going on. Taking a deep breath he walked up to the door and knocked on it, waiting patiently until a small elderly lady came to the door and looked at him, 

"Hello," She greeted and he smiled at her, greeting her back. 

"Hello, I just came to see if your granddaughter was home?" She ushered him into the house with a sad smile on her face, she sat him on a sofa and went to make tea without saying another word to him and he wondered if he'd gotten the right address.

"Miss Y/l/n?" She looked up at him as she brought a tray of tea into the room pouring him a cup and sitting opposite him on the other sofa.

"You mean our young Y/n? Y/l/n?" That name, he remembered that name as if he knew it but he'd never even heard of you until your music, and he didn't remember you from anything else except that. 

"Yes, Y/n." He said your name as if he was trying to memorise it and she sighed getting up from the sofa and going over to a photo album, she brought it back to him and showed him photos of you dating back from your birth until recent ones, but the more he flicked through the more he noticed that you were fading in recent photographs, 

"She's fading away." He frowned not understanding what she was trying to tell him, then she pulled out a small box with notes inside. 

Don't forget me x Was written in red ink on a piece of screw up paper, more notes with the same words scribbled across them were in the box, some with drawings on and other just plain pieces of paper. Jeongin felt his heart lunge whenever he saw the handwriting on the paper, his heart was racing whenever he turned over another note seeing the same message over and over again getting more and more distressed with each note.

"Will you put those old things away!" Another voice called out, Jeongin looked up from the book to see a woman the spitting image of you only a little older walking into the apartment carrying bags, he rushed up to help her and she thanked him. 

"Is she showing you those? She always does this, we didn't have a daughter!" She yelled at the old lady who grumbled something and started packing everything away into boxes yet again.

"She likes to tell people we had a daughter, but I didn't. I can't have children you see," He carried the bags through to the kitchen for the women he thought was your mum but was unsure now she was telling him she'd never had a child before.

"I hope she didn't bore you too much." He laughed it off and collected his things to leave again, he was almost out of the building when the elderly woman came down the stairs clutching in her hands. 

"Jeongin!" She called out which shocked him because he hadn't told her his name, she pushed something into his hands and walked back into the building. He waited until he was in the car to see what she'd given him, in his hand was a photo of himself standing next to you but you were fading quickly in the photo. Written across the back was 

Jeongin remember me 

He took the photo back to the dorms and studied it, trying to remember you. There was something in the back of his mind that he couldn't access through, as if something was blocking him from getting to the memory.

After explaining everything to Chan, Han and Changbin in explicit detail and showing them the photo they agreed to help him get to the bottom of everything that was surrounding you and H.E.A.R.T promising the youngest they would figure it out together which lead to them standing in the middle of Sync's building disguised as janitors.

"We don't even know where she is?! Is this going to work?" Changbin asked as they pushed a cart around the neverending building,

"We don't even know if she's in the building," Han added earning glares from both Jeongin and Chan as they got into another elevator. 

"I'll take the top floor, Chanbin will take the lower levels, Han the middle and I.N. can take all the others." They agreed and spread out going to find you. It was midnight so the place was empty except for cleaners and a few guards that were roaming around the halls. 

I.N was about to take out his phone and call Han defeated when he heard singing coming from a room, he put his phone down and walked down the hall in the direction of the studio door. He knocked but the singing stopped and the room fell into a dead silence. 

"Y/n?" Your headshot up as someone said your name instead of your stage name and you felt your heart begin to pick up at the mere thought of someone knowing you were there. 

"Hello!?" You yelled out banging on the table for them to open the door, it was never locked because no one ever bothered to come and see you anymore. The door opened slowly and stood there was your childhood friend Jeongin. 

"I.N!" He jumped back a little as he took in your appearance, you were chained up to a desk by your ankle, you were wearing nothing but an old looking hoodie and some leggings. 

"Y/n?!" He rushed over to you pulling at the chain to try and see how tight it was but you whimpered as he did so. You'd been trying to get out of them for years it was no use without the keys. 

"How did you find me?!" You whispered looking at him and he stared at you, as soon as you stared into his eyes you felt your heart drop. 

"You don't remember me do you?" You felt your heart shatter once he shook his head no at you, 

"But I'm starting to remember small things, how long have you been here?" You looked at the calendar on your wall and then at him, 

"Three years." You whispered knowing there was no way out of here,

"You need to leave before my manager comes and finds you," You whispered looking at him and then over at the door standing there were three boys you'd never seen before. 

"We're your rescue team." One of them said in a thick Australian accent holding up a pair of bolt cutters, 

"How did you know we'd need those?" The shortest one asked looking at the one with the Australian accent, 

"I just assumed we'd need lots of stuff," He opened a bag to reveal a bunch of spy-like equipment, he walked over to you with the bolt cutters and looked at the chain around your ankle. 

"Is it attached to anything? Like an alarm?" You shrugged your shoulders, you had no idea what it was attached you. All you knew was there was no way out of them without a key or in this case bolt cutters, 

"Changbin, car. Go." Chan said throwing him the keys, 

"Text me when it's out front," Jeongin ordered and Changbin ran off down the hall leaving the other one there, 

"I'm Han by the way and he's Chan...The leader of your breakout crew."

A giant alarm went off throughout the building as soon as the chain was broken and you were sprinting down a flight of stairs holding Jeongin's hand as you headed for the main exit of the building,

"Faster!" Han yelled pulling you all in the direction of the doors, a shutter was starting to come down but you were out just in time and into the car, Changbin sped off down the high way in the direction of the JYP Building hoping you weren't being followed by whoever it was that had taken you in the first place. 

Over the next few weeks, you'd explained in detail what happened to you. How you signed a simple contract without reading the small print and piece by piece your life was being taken away from you until the point that not even your mum remembered who you were,

"I still don't understand how I couldn't remember you," I.N said as he stared at the photography which was fully restored to you both sitting in front of a bonfire with smiles on your face, 

"We were close." You whispered looking at the photo and then back up at Jeongin who looked pained that he'd forgotten you, you'd told him a million times that week it was fine and that you were fine now but it still didn't seem to settle his mind about it. 

"Jeongin, everyone forgot not just you." You nudged him as you sat on the balcony of his dorm together, he stared at you as you looked out at the view of Seoul. You'd wanted to sit outside all day every day for as long as you could, it had been so long since you'd had fresh air. There was an investigation going down with the police looking into the contract between you and Sync but there were still things that weren't adding up for you,

"It was like a signed my soul away." You mumbled looking at the photograph. Jeongin had gone into extreme detail about the way it looked before, you were hardly there just an outline of your body and facial features. 

"Whatever it was, you're safe now." His hands linked with yours and you stared down at them with a small smile across your face. 

"Thanks to you." You whispered leaning across and giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

"I have no idea how I can ever thank you enough, but I'll do my best every day to remind you just how thankful I am." Your hands stayed locked together, it just felt right for the both of you to stay just like that right there, together with no other distractions except for the sound of traffic and people in the middle of Seoul you could have stayed there your whole life if time would let you. 

"I promise to never let anything happen to you again." He whispered to you, rubbing his thumb along your knuckles and then bringing your hand up to his face to kiss it gently. 

"I promise." He repeated before looking up at you, you stared back at him before he slowly leaned up to your face and pressed his lips against yours. Pulling away a couple of seconds later to check you were okay, when you kissed him back he was relieved he hadn't just creeped you out to the point where you didn't want to be around him anymore and that you wanted to kiss him again instead of pushing him away for good.

tagline: 

@yoongisdumplingcheeks​ @snowy-meowl​ @jooniesdarlingdimples​

[ecto-american]

If Found Please Return to Danny Phantom

Phic Phight Oneshot for @imperfection-at-itsfinest: When Jack manages to get his hands on Danny Phantom's ghost hunting logbook, an investigation reveals some information about ghosts and the infamous specter himself that a scientific study would never cover.

Read on FFN and AO3

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It would be wrong of him to read it. 

Jack kept staring at the book in his hands. It resembled a diary, the front design being colorless but a pressed design. The moon with stars, with no words, and the diary itself felt unusually thin. There was no lock, as if it was almost inviting him to just read it. Jack had, in fact, already opened to the first page, and the first words greeted him. In a standard font read: If Found, Please Return to: and the name scrawled, in surprisingly tidy handwriting, was the name Danny Phantom.

What an absolute find. It was pure dumb luck. He had seen Phantom drop it, but Jack had went looking for it in hopes that the ghost teen had dropped one of the stolen Fenton gadgets. Only to recover...this book that he had taken home and into the privacy of his lab for study.

The idea of Phantom keeping a diary was kinda funny. He never struck Jack as the type to write down his deepest darkest secrets or teenage embarrassments in a book. That would imply that the ghost had some kind of emotions. They didn’t. They were blobs of ectoplasmic energy.

So it should be okay for him to read, right? Why was he so hesitant? Well...it was an invasion of privacy. But it was fine. Phantom dropped it in the park. Phantom was a menace to society. There was likely evidence in this journal that could explain all of the ghost boy’s terrible deeds, that could prove that he truly was evil. This diary could change everything.

...Jack had children though, and he knew both were avidly creative. Scrapbooking, drawing, painting, writing. They were stress outlets for his girls, and he wouldn’t ever dare dream of invading their privacy like that. So he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. Phantom deserved privacy, right?

“Jack? Are you coming to dinner?” Maddie’s voice snapped him from his thought process. She hadn’t made a noise as she came down the stairs. But Maddie was a much better stealth hunter than him.

“Yes, yes! Sorry, I was distracted,” Jack apologized. He set the book down on the table. Maddie rose an eyebrow at him.

“Did you get a new ectobiology book?” she asked. His eyes glanced to the book, and he shook his head no. Maddie came over to him, studying the book cover. Of course, it didn’t resemble any of the scientific texts that they owned. 

“I don’t know how to explain it…” Jack said slowly. He held it out to her. Maddie accepted it.

“This looks like it belongs to the kids,” she stated. She opened the first page, and Jack saw her eyes widen. Her breath hitched, and she looked up to him “Jack...where did you...get this?”

“He dropped it during a fight,” he replied. “I thought it was Fenton tech, but…”

Her eyes sparkled, and she shut the book. A wide grin had appeared, and she threw her arms around her husband.

“Oh Jack! This could teach us so much! If this really is a journal or some kind of diary, then he may have recorded motivations! Thoughts! We can really get into how Phantom thinks and a raw, honest, firsthand account from Phantom himself! This changes everything!”

She was right. She was absolutely right, and he hugged her back. They were scientists first and foremost, and this journal could fill in so many missing blanks about ghosts. It was a starting off point. Jack’s mind raced with all the things they could possibly learn. Just from a simple peek of the book. That was worth more than the invasion of privacy of a ghost that caused so much havoc, destruction and pain. 

“We should look at it right now!” he exclaimed. Maddie pulled away with a small frown.

“After dinner,” she reminded him. “I finally got everybody corralled upstairs for a family dinner. It’s nearly impossible to get either of the girls at the same time.”

“Oh, right!” Jack nearly slapped his forehead. Yes, they were scientists first and foremost, but before even that, they were Mom and Dad. “First thing after dinner.”

“First thing after dinner,” she agreed with a smile. 

Upstairs, he saw that Jazz was already serving herself. Chicken, mashed potatoes and peas. His youngest was pouring iced tea into glasses for everybody. 

“Hey Ghost-kateers!” Jack greeted cheerfully with a grin. Both kids groaned in embarrassment. Perfect. 

“Daaad!” his youngest complained, a whine hitching as she put the pitcher of ice tea back. “I told you, if I’m going to be some kind of ye olde soldier type, I wanna be a knight, like at the renaissance fair.” 

“Ah, but if you’re a ghost-kateer, you can get an anti-ghost musket!” Jack teased. As he walked past her to get his own food, he playfully ruffled her pixie-cut hair. She waved his hand away. 

“But as a ghost knight, I can get a cool sword!” she protested. Jack shook his head in fake disappointment. 

“Never bring to a ghost sword to a ghost musket fight, baby boo,” her dad replied.

“Can’t shoot what you can’t see!” she shot back with a grin. Jack had to hand it to her, and he just chuckled. 

“Can we please have a ghost free dinner?” Jazz scowled. 

“Yes, yes, let’s save ghosts for after dinner,” Maddie agreed. Jazz shot her a grateful look, and Jack focused on getting his serving of dinner from the stove. His youngest pushed her sleeves up, exhaling. Jack stole a look at her and frowned. She had some sweat collected on her forehead.

“Honey if you're hot, you can just take your sweatshirt off,” he told her. She shook her head no.

“No, I'm fine,” she insisted. Jack was skeptical.

“You sure?” he asked. 

“Mhm!” 

Jack shrugged a bit. She was always insisting on wearing a hoodie, no matter the weather. If she got hot enough, she’d take it off. No need to force it. He got his food and took his seat.

“How's school going?” Maddie questioned. Jazz lit up a bit, and her sister flinched. She raised a suspicious eyebrow at her youngest.

“I managed to get a B on my chemistry test,” the youngest spoke up with a forced smile.

“That’s excellent!” Maddie’s demeanor shifted as she smiled warmly. “Keep it up!” 

“Yeah!” The youngest seemed to visibly relax. “Sam’s been helping me study.”

“That’s good, I always studied better when V-man or your mom helped me,” Jack nodded at her as he cut up his chicken. 

“Oh it’s true, I used to help your father study for all of our shared classes,” Maddie confirmed. “Otherwise he’d get so distracted.”

“Yeah, Sam just explains it super well,” their daughter agreed. “Tucker’s been going over math with me a bit, which helps some.”

“Well if you need a tutor, just let us know, and we’ll help you arrange one,” Maddie smiled. “What about you, Jazz?”

“Pretty good,” she replied. “Mr. Lancer asked if I wanted to be his TA this summer, which I really do. It’ll look good on a college application, and I might even get paid!”

“Have you been narrowing down where you might wanna go?” Jack asked. Jazz eagerly nodded.

“Yeah! Oxford is my number one choice, but I also would love to go to Yale or Stanford. I’ve been talking with the college counselor about what else might look good on an application for them that I can do over the summer. I wrote them down in my planner notebook earlier-”

“Hey, that kinda reminds me,” her sister interrupted. “Have you guys seen one of my notebooks? I think I lost it,” she asked them. Jack stared at her. The reminder of the notebook he actually had found. Maddie seemed unbothered by the question. This wasn’t unusual, for the parents to have to play “where’s my stuff?” with the kids. 

“What notebook?” Jazz asked hesitantly. 

“My important one,” came the reply. Jazz frowned lightly. 

“Sorry, princess, haven’t seen any notebooks laying around,” Jack replied. He saw the briefest of a cringe cross his youngest’s features. “Did you leave it at school?” Her shoulders slumped.

“I don’t think so?” she said hesitantly. “I’ll have to check tomorrow. I was so sure I had it earlier…” Her voice trailed off before she forced a smile. “If you see it, let me know!” She picked up a forkful of chicken, only to freeze. The clattering made Jack glance up curiously as she was turning her attention to Maddie. “Can I be excused? I have some homework to get done.” 

Maddie let out a soft sigh. So much for family dinner.

“Of course, just make sure you come back down before you go to bed to get your chores done,” Maddie nodded at her. The young Fenton snapped to her feet with a thanks, fully abandoning her dinner as she went to the stairs. Jazz stared after her sister, craning her neck to track her movements before hurriedly shoveling more mashed potatoes in her mouth.

“Uh, I’m not that hungry, and I totally forgot to do this online assignment,” Jazz spoke, standing up, taking hers and her sister’s plate. She was already walking away before either parent could truly give permission. “I’ll put our plates up and clean up in a bit!”

“A-alright?” Jack hesitated, watching his other child put the plates on the counter before rushing up as well. Another child down. They seemed to grow up so fast. 

“Least they’re doing homework,” Maddie sighed lightly, shaking her head before taking a drink of her tea. “Oh well. Might as well take their lead and eat in the lab?” 

“Please,” Jack agreed. He stood up, taking his plate. “I’m dying to see what Phantom has to say.”

January 10

Skulker: 1; captured

Ectopuss: 1; captured

Box Ghost: 8; captured

Ember: Fought; got away

Fenton Thermos: half-full

Fenton Fisher: untangled

January 11

Vultures: 1; got away

Cujo: 1; played fetch and he went back to the GZ

Fenton Thermos: Full

Ghost Bazooka: overheated and doesn’t shoot anymore, take apart and fix it

January 12

Skulker: 2; got away

Box Ghost: 3; captured

Sidney: 2; got away

Fenton Fisher: tangled, untangle asap

January 13

Skulker: 1; captured

Box Ghost: 4; got away

Fenton Thermos: damaged, won’t suck up ghosts

I met a new ghost today named Desiree. She got away, but it allowed me to discover a new ghost power. Ghost ray.

Maddie furrowed her brow as she studied the words. She stood at the table, her dinner half-forgotten as she thought on the words.

“It sounds like a record,” Jack mused, and he ate another spoonful of peas. Maddie nodded in agreement.

“I think we found Phantom’s logbook,” she agreed. “I’m assuming these are the ghosts he’s fought. And he seems to be recording his powers too. This is huge, we can match up what we know about his powers and what he’s claiming.”

“And he’s recording the status of our equipment.” Jack frowned. “Why would he care?”

“Yeah, he made note that he was going to fix the Fenton Bazooka too,” Maddie pointed out. The scientist flipped through the pages, only to stop at a page, staring curiously. Maddie laid the journal on the table, pressing the spine so that the pages stayed open. She read the page aloud to Jack.

December 19

I hate my life. I hate this existence. I look in the mirror and wonder why it has to be this way. Why am I the one cursed to be this freak? Why is everything about me and my body wrong? For once, I wish something about me was normal, that somebody about me could be right. If Desiree wasn’t such an unreliable asshole with wishes, I’d give everything I have to wish that life could, for once, allow me to be a normal teenage boy. 

Jack listened to her in a stumped silence. This couldn’t have been a pre-death thought process of a moody teenager. It was written too recently, and the words hit a sorrowful chord to him. He didn’t intend to, but he quickly began to feel sorry for Phantom. He was very young. It couldn’t have been easy to lose everything at that age. His daughter was his age. Jack cleared his throat.

“It’s not just a log then?” Jack questioned. Maddie shook her head, flipping the pages back.

“No, I think it’s a mix. There’s still records of ghosts and FentonWorks equipment,” she replied. Using a leg, she pulled a wheeled chair to her to sit in. She leaned back, and she pulled the journal to her. After a moment of flipping through and scanning pages, she settled on a page about a third of the way through. “It seems like this is when he began to record things other than just ghosts.”

“What’s it say?” Jack wondered. Maddie read aloud the next few entries as Jack silently continued to eat. 

April 4

I only fought this shitty panther today, and he still got away. I’m such a fucking idiot. I can’t believe he got away. I was too slow. All I do is fuck up. There’s ghostly activity happening around the school, and I just can’t figure it out. I feel like I can’t stop them anymore. I don’t know what’s going on, why I suddenly suck so much. I honestly probably just always sucked, and now it’s starting to hit me. [scribbles] and [scribbles] were trying to make me feel better, but I fucked up. It was only one ghost today, and I couldn’t catch them. It destroyed an entire store, and it’s my fault.

April 8

No ghosts today, surprisingly. But [scribbles] has been acting weird lately. The other day she poked and prodded me at dinner. No clue what that’s about. She also tried to give me this speech that I can talk to her about anything, and that she’d love me no matter what. That makes me think she found my binder. I’m honestly kinda freaking out. I knew I shouldn’t have left it out like that. She’s such a nosy know it all.

“Phantom must keep more records than just this,” Maddie lightly mused. “He has an entire binder full of information that somebody discovered.”

“Maybe on other ghosts?” Jack theorized. “He’s recording his fights, he must be also recording information about them.” Maddie’s eyes lit up.

“That makes so much sense,” she agreed. “He probably keeps so many kinds of things written down and logged. I wonder where he’s keeping it? Obviously paper, which is a bit odd. I figured a teenager would move to the digital age…” Maddie paused.

“Maybe he’s older than we think he is?” Jack suggested. “He could have died fifty years ago, and just be more comfortable with writing things down.”

“Oh, that’s true,” Maddie mused. She put down the notebook to take a long sip of her drink. Jack picked it up to observe the page she read.

“Phantom has neat handwriting,” he noted. “He’s not fighting ghosts when he writes these.” Jack’s eyes scanned the words. “...I wonder who he’s scribbled out.”

“Allies?” Maddie shrugged. “He probably went back and blacked out some of the names. Privacy. Especially if this isn’t the first time he’s lost this.”

It made the most logical sense. Jack skipped the purely log entries to one that had more written, and he read it aloud to his wife.

April 10

She was feeding on us. Spectra, the Casper High “psychologist” was feeding on emotions, like some kind of emotional vampire but she’s a ghost. It’s so scary. I saw her do it. She asked [scribbles] and [scribbles] about their lives. What made them unhappy, and why. And when they left, I saw her absorb? I guess how I’d describe it? She absorbed the energy into her skin and it just seemed to instantly revive her, and it made her happy. When she did it to me, I could just look in her eyes and know that she enjoyed every minute of my misery. I managed to stop her, with [scribbles] helping me. It was weird. She didn’t seem afraid of me. I don’t know why. 

Spectra: 2; captured

“Ghosts can feed off of energy!” Maddie exclaimed. “Human energy! We always suspected it, but this is confirming something!” Jack glanced up at her excitedly. It was the first real, true ghostly discovery that Phantom was revealing to them. 

April 13

All I do is fuck up lately. Because of me, this ghost dog just absolutely has been causing havoc on this girl’s life. She blames me. And I don’t blame her. I ruined her entire life. She lost her house because of me. I didn’t mean to. I tried to stop the dog, but he just won’t respond to anything I say. I can’t capture him. I’ve been trying. I’ve been just calling the dog Cujo. After the Stephen King book, because damn is this dog giving me one fucking nightmare of a time.

Cujo: 3, got away

April 16

[scribbles] kissed me. It was to force me to change back, and it worked, but she kissed me. It was great. She smelled like lavender. I don’t think my heart’s ever beaten so fast. Afterwards she clarified to me that it was just a fake-out make-out. It didn’t feel like it. I don’t want it to be. But she’s my best friend, and I can’t lose her. So I agreed, and when I came home I cried. My dad caught me, and I pretended it was just girl problems, even though that excuse made me feel even worse. He got me some ice cream, and we watched Star Trek together. It didn’t really help that much, if I’m being honest. 

Anyway, apparently Cujo’s trained. He knows his commands. [scribbles] thinks it’s because he was a guard dog when he was alive for Axion Labs. For a guard dog, he’s such a playful puppy though, he loves his squeaky toy. And [scribbles] became a hunter specifically to kick my ass. It’s my lucky month. But I deserve it. Will there ever be a day where I actually can do more good than bad?

Skulker: 1; captured

[Scribbles]: 1 Red Huntress

Cujo: 1, got away

“Phantom has a family?” Maddie wondered. She chewed on her food as she thought. Jack shrugged, an odd, unsettled feeling hitting him as he put the book down for a moment. He used his spoon to push around his peas.

“I mean, we all do,” Jack reminded her. “Just...I didn’t think Phantom still talked to his family. After his death. Or did such...non-ghost things with them.” Watching Star Trek with his dad? Jack did that with his own kids all the time. It was his and his youngest daughter’s favorite show to watch together. Jazz typically preferred documentary series, and Maddie was too bothered by scientific inaccuracies to really enjoy science fiction. So it was always “their thing” and knowing that Phantom did it too was...too human. 

“Yeah, I didn’t...really expect him to still be haunting them,” Maddie said. Jack could tell that this was disturbing her a little. 

“But ghosts can retain their memories from life it seems,” Jack spoke up. Maddie stared at him. “The dog remembers commands from his life as a guard dog. What extent, I’m not sure.” Maddie hummed curiously.

Jack picked the book up again, skipping through more boring logs to other words. 

April 29

Ember: 2; captured

Fenton Thermos: full, empty

The past few weeks have been terrible. I have definitely come to the conclusion that I really am developing a crush on [scribbles]. Or maybe I always had one, I dunno. Is this really just an effect from Ember’s supposed spell? Does ghostly mind control really last? I think I always knew that I liked her though. I mean, ever since I told her that [scribbles], she’s been so supportive. She even cut my hair for me, which really pissed my parents off, but they ended up admitting that I looked better with my hair short anyway. Almost like it’s meant to be, huh? Ha. [scribbles] is also one of the only two people who know my deeper secret. She’s been so supportive through that too. She calls me Danny, and every time she refers to me as that, it makes my heart go crazy.

But would she even like me? Would she even wanna be with somebody like me? I don’t think I’d be her type. Some other friends I met at this local support group have complained about the struggles of dating. The stories are depressing, and it makes me worried that while [scribbles] will always love and accept me as a friend, that she’d never be able to love me as a boyfriend. I hate my life.

“Aw, Phantom has a little girlfriend,” Jack half-joked, only for goosebumps to raise and an odd chill run down his spine. He looked to Maddie for her opinion, and her face was scrunched up.

“That’s a bit creepy,” she commented. “He’s pretending to be human.”

“I dunno, Mads,” Jack shrugged. He re-read the ghostly teen’s internal conflicts. “Why would he pretend to be human in a journal that nobody’s meant to read?”

“He has to be sharing it with his allies,” she argued. “Those people he’s been scribbling out. Phantom has to be pretending for them. To keep them around. He even mentioned ghostly mind control.” 

She pushed her mostly-finished plate from herself, motioning for Jack to hand over the journal. He complied, and Maddie flipped through it. She stopped, and she set the journal down on the table once more. Leaning over, she studied the spine. A finger ran along the inner spine, and she frowned.

“Pages are missing,” she noticed. Jack pushed his plate out of the way to lean over as well.

Indeed, the top of the diary revealed that it was meant to be a normal, full diary. Now that Maddie pointed it out, it looked like well over a fourth of the diary had missing pages. Jack squinted, pulling his hood over his eyes. He used his googles to better examine.

“They weren’t ripped out, like in a ghost fight,” Jack told her. He pointed to what remained of a page, a barely noticeable strip. “It was carefully cut out.” Maddie narrowed her eyes to get a better look.

“You’re right,” she mused. “Phantom did this purposefully. Probably to hide stuff from his allies.”

“But why hide some stuff and not others?” Jack wondered aloud. “Clearly this girlfriend figure is an ally, but he can’t be...sharing this with her, right?” Maddie pulled back from the notebook to lean in her chair with a heavy sigh.

“...I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t think he would. But he’s also a ghost, they do weird things.” Jack didn’t know how to reply, and so he continued to read.

May 16

The past few days have been so full of drama. Walker ruined my life. He absolutely ruined it. He set out to make me the most hated person in Amity Park out of pure spite, and he succeeded. I’m public enemy number one. I can never win. For a while now, I had debated telling my parents, because I so desperately want their support, but they were part of the news coverage calling me a disgusting, evil ghost. I ended up crying yesterday. I don’t think they’ll ever truly love me if they knew. I also failed Wulf. Another failure on my plate. I’m just waiting for it to all crash down on me.

Walker: 1; sent to the GZ

Wulf: 1; sent to the GZ

Walker’s goons: at least 14, all captured

Fenton Thermos: overflowingly full

“Oh this is just becoming nonsense,” Maddie complained. “He’s lying. We were there, Jack! We saw him attack us.”

“I know, I know, he did, yeah, he did,” Jack tried to gather his thoughts. “But why would he lie in this? I don’t think anybody was meant to read this?” Jack flipped through the pages. The further he flipped through in, the more he could tell that some sections had more carefully cut out papers than others. Why was Phantom cutting out? What was he hiding? Why was he hiding it?

“He meant for somebody to read this,” Maddie lightly argued. 

“Yeah, it seems like it, but…,” Jack trailed off. He shook his head a bit, flipping back to where they had left off. “I dunno.”

“Hold on a second,” Maddie urged him, standing up. “Let me get something to write with, we should take some notes.”

“We can just use the scanner to make a copy of the journal afterwards, and we can further analyze it afterwards,” Jack suggested. Maddie thought on this, and she nodded, but she still reached for some scrap paper and a pen.

“Good idea, we should probably read through it fully first anyway,” she agreed. “But I still want to jot down some thoughts.”

“Of course, of course,” Jack replied. He knew that’s how she thought and processed information best, and it was always from her notes that he could visualize his own theories properly. He took a drink of tea before he continued reading the next true entry.

May 24

My entire relationship with my other crush (not [scribbles]) was a lie. She was being overshadowed by Kitty the entire time. This was my first real girlfriend, and it was all fake. I had assumed I was so lucky. I found a girl who knew and was okay with both of my biggest secrets. When I got home I ended up just going straight to my room. [scribbles] brought me dinner, but I didn’t feel like eating. Is this what life is going to be for me? I don’t want it to be like this. The only good thing is that [scribbles] doesn’t know either secret alongside our brief relationship.

Least Kitty and Johnny seem happy again. For now at least. I swear, they’re always breaking up and getting back together. 

Kitty: 1; sent back to the GZ

Johnny 13: 1; sent back to the GZ

Shadow: 1; sent back to the GZ

Jack could lightly hear Maddie taking notes on her scrap paper, the pen scratching at the surface. He didn’t comment on it, silently flipping to the next page, and he continued to read. 

August 19

I was forced to really face the reality of how much I fucked up [scribbles] life. I hate it. I’d do anything to take it back. It makes me wonder if I should just retire. Am I even really doing anything to help? Am I just a nuisance? Everybody thinks that. 

Rationally I know I can’t. I’m the only one who can properly deal with the ghosts, who has the power and abilities to fight back without getting killed. I have to do what I can, but I just wish I could do it without making so many mistakes. [scribbles] said that it’ll be okay, and that it gets better, but it sure doesn’t fucking feel like it.

Skulker: 3; finished

Red Huntress: 2; temporary truce?

“He’s so full of...emotion for a ghost,” Maddie finally spoke up. 

Jack glanced at the paper she had in front of her. There was some notes of what they had been learning so far, and there were emotions written in all caps with a line under, and a list of various emotions. Emotions Phantom seemed to be displaying. Guilty, despair, loneliness, self-hatred, self-doubt. Despite the few entries, it was already quite a list.

“It’s not just him either,” Maddie continued. Jack rose an eyebrow at her. She didn’t immediately reply, fingers on her lips as she stared down at the journal. “He’s giving emotions to other ghosts too.”

Jack stared down blankly at the journal in his hands. 

“Where?”

Maddie began to write, and as she wrote, it clicked. Spectra’s joy in hurting others. Kitty and Johnny’s relationship. Walker’s spite. Cujo being a playful puppy. According to Phantom, and against what they knew as scientists, ghosts were experiencing a wide variety of emotions and for different reasons. It was weird. 

Jack continued to read.

October 17

I don’t know what happened the past few days. It’s this weird blur. According to [scribbles] and [scribbles] I did a lot of bad things under Freakshow’s control. [scribbles] hugged me and told me that it was nothing that we couldn’t fix, but I doubt that. Why does this keep happening to me? I don’t want to hurt people. I want to be a good person, and I want to help Amity Park, but I don’t know what keeps happening. Everything’s a fog, and I’m exhausted. 

Freakshow: 1; arrested by APPD

Circus ghosts: freed from Freakshow’s control, went back to the GZ

Replace Fenton Anti-Creep Stick, print out another sticker to put on it

“Freakshow...that was the weird circus guy,” Jack interrupted himself. Maddie nodded.

“Yeah, and if Phantom’s right...he could control the ghosts,” she mused. “So there’s a way for humans to take control of ghosts...That’s something to look into. If we can control the ghosts into staying away, it’d be such a massive scientific breakthrough.”

“We should look into Freakshow more, and see if we can talk to him!” Jack agreed. “Maybe he’ll share something with us.” Maddie smiled softly.

“I doubt that,” she replied gently. “But there’s no harm in trying. What else does it say?”

November 8

I have to fight Pariah Dark. I’m terrified. I don’t think I’ll live through it. How can I live through fighting the actual ghost king? I may never see my family again, and I can’t even tell them what happened to me if I die. I’ve been debating telling [scribbles] that I like her, but I don’t think I could bring myself to do it. 

What happens if I die? I have no clue. I’m scared to find out. I can’t die now. I have to make it back. I’ll go missing, and I won’t even be declared dead as my parents’ son. Nobody will know who to really look for. I have to come back. Maybe if I succeed, and people like me again after this, I can tell my family everything.

November 10

I couldn’t tell them. My parents still despise part of me, despite what I’ve done. I know they love me, cause my mom’s already been fussing over me like crazy because of my injuries. [scribbles] said she cried when they couldn’t find me, and that my dad had gone out looking for me all over the city, even in the dangerous parts. They of course love me, but do they really love me unconditionally?

Jack felt his voice trailing off as he hit the end. He coughed lightly, and he took a long drink. Maddie stared off into nothing. The only thing he could think of was his own search for his baby girl. He wasn’t alone, bumping into several other parents desperately looking for their missing children, and several children who got separated from their parents. The entire day was somber and frightening, and Maddie had spent the entire day glued to the phone. In case she called them. 

It was all...too real, and Jack flipped past more logs. He couldn’t help but begin to take note of how every single day had a log of ghost fighting activities, even if Phantom didn’t write down his feelings every day. This was so much more than the ghost hunting duo ever expected, more attacks than they were recording.

His eyes rested only for a moment on December 19, and he decided to just skip it. They had already read it earlier. No need to refresh those memories. More logs, and more missing pages, and he came upon another one. 

March 26

I ripped out a lot of pages, more than I intended. I can’t risk anybody finding out what happened, but also other pages revealed too much, so I kept them tucked away where nobody could ever find them. I’d burn them, but I don’t want to lose the ghost hunting data. It’s okay now. I fixed the problem and assured that everything’s going to be fine. Possibly better. I made the right choice this time, and now I know that one day, I will grow a sick beard. 

I know somebody knows my secrets now. All of them. She had known for months but wanted me to tell her. She asked me if I had a name, and ever since I told her that it was Danny, she’s been calling me that whenever she can. It made me cry the first time. It’s so great to have her know everything now. She loves me no matter what. I couldn’t ask for a better person. Even though she found out because I’m an idiot. This entire thing also made me realize how important it is to keep those secrets, and how poorly I’ve been keeping them. 

I didn’t ever mean for this to turn into a diary. I wanted to keep track of ghost fights. But it honestly helps with both the dysphoria and the stresses of being a ghost. I just went back and scribbled out names. Just in case. In the future I need to be more vague. 

But this is also the end for one secret. If things go wrong then well. I don’t know. I’ll make it up as I go along. But I know that this is who I am, and that I’m hitting a point where I need help to just be me. 

Him: 1; captured for good

Skulker: 2; captured

Desiree: 1; captured

Ectopusses: 1; captured

Cujo: 1, sent back to the GZ

Fenton Thermos: full

Fenton Anti-Creep Stick: destroyed, get new bat and sticker to put on it

Also learned a new ghost power: Ghostly wail. A scream that can just absolutely fuck somebody’s day up. I have to use it sparingly though.

Jack closed the journal, and he set it flat on the table. His mind was blank, and he couldn’t read Maddie. She continued to stare at the closed book, hand in pen but almost unsure as to what to even jot down as a note. He leaned in his seat, finishing his drink. Maddie exhaled deeply, dropping her pen in favor of stretching.

Neither said a word. Jack knew that this journal was not any kind of trick. It was too raw and emotional to be anything more than the thoughts of a teenage ghost. He regretted reading it. It held some interesting information, and he was sure if he dug deeper, that he would find more. But as it stood, his own intense guilt was settling as he knew that he just took too personal a look into the private emotional afterlife of Phantom.

“This is a lot to take in,” Maddie finally spoke. Jack only nodded.

The basement door opened, and they heard dual pairs of footsteps hop downstairs. Jack instantly brightened, and he turned in his chair to smile as his kids soon came into view.

“Hey, is this a bad time?” Jazz asked. She glanced between them, and Jack immediately shook his head no. 

“No, no,” Maddie replied quickly. Jack saw her push the journal and her notes, along with her pen and a few spare lab tools, carelessly into a drawer to help assure the Fenton kids that they weren’t interrupting anything. “What’s up, sweetie?” 

“Well, I have something that I wanna talk about,” their youngest spoke slowly. Jack noticed that she had finally taken off her hoodie, and that while she wore her normal tomboy attire, that something was a bit off about her. He couldn’t place it. Jazz stood close to her, an arm full of books clutched to her chest, though he couldn’t make out any titles. “It’s something important, and I don’t really want to put it off any longer.”

“Is something wrong? Are you in trouble?” Jack asked. His daughter shook her head no. 

“Oh, no!” she said. “It’s just…” 

She took a deep breath, and soon, their son began to explain.

[janicho88]

In This Together

                                             Pic originally posted by jrackles                               

Pairing- Dean x Wife!Reader

Word count-9825

Summary-The reader hasn’t been feeling well and is afraid to go to a doctor, because of her medical history.  One thing seems to lead to another, but she has her husband Dean to lean on. This is AU

Warnings- Sick reader, Little bit of language, A little angst, and maybe a little fluff, slight implied smut. Possible triggers talks of multiple surgeries some are a little descriptive, talk of possible loss of fertility, female problems.

 A/N This is my first fic I have finished.  I have had some things going on, I needed someone like Dean, this was the closest I could get to having him. It is unbeta’d all mistakes are mine.  @winchest09 and @katehuntington​ you two are absolutely amazing!! Without you two, your virtual lockdowns and the people I met because of them, I never would have had the confidence to finish this let alone post it. Thank you! 

You sighed as you rolled over in bed, time to get up and start another day.  Although you were hoping today was different. You were hoping the pain you had been having which couldn’t decide whether or not it wanted to be in your side or abdomen would actually be gone.  Something that had just been in your head.   You had felt a kind of off for the last 2 weeks but had kept that to yourself.

“Morning Sweetheart,” came from your husband of four years, as Dean walked back in your room fresh from the shower. A quick kiss good morning before he finished getting dressed and you headed to get yourself ready in the bathroom.  Soon you were both out the door and off to work.  Dean was a partner in his father’s mechanic business. It was doing well for him; he’d even added on auto parts store next door.  You were running your family’s restaurants, your parents slowly cutting back on their day to day involvement, but not leaving entirely yet because you were going to need their help in the new year.

You enjoyed your mornings at work, for the first few hours it was just you preparing things for the day, your radio playing softly your only companion. It wasn’t long before your daytime employees came in and the lunch rush began you all working as a team everything going smoothly today. It was while working on clean up and the dinner prep, one of your workers, and your friend, Donna found you in a back corner with your hands on your right side. When she asked what was going on, you told her you were fine and went to finish the task you were working on. Before she left Donna passed by your office where she saw you inside with a look of pain on your face again, your ringing phone interrupted her from saying anything to you then.

Dean beat you home from work and was preparing hamburgers to grill when you walked in.  You set your things down and met him in the kitchen for a kiss, “Hey Babe, how was your day?”

“Good.  The new guy, Gabe, I was telling you about should work out well, might be a little bit of a smart ass.  Benny seems to have taken him under his wing to show him the ropes. Those two will be interesting together.  How were things at the restaurant today?”

“That’s great! I know with your Dad, and Bobby cutting back their time there you wanted at least one more person in.  Work was fine, late lunch and steady afternoon which is why I’m later getting home.”

“How’s the foot doing? You’ve been on it more with working longer hours lately.”

“Okay, as good as it’s going to be for now.”

You two enjoyed a quiet dinner, then curled up on the couch to watch a movie before heading to bed. Dean noticed you didn’t eat much of your dinner, but he figured you were either tired or grabbed a snack at the restaurant.  

Your next morning started off about the same both of you on your separate ways to work. It was afternoon when Donna saw you again with a grimace on your face and a hand on your side. A little while later she saw your running to the restroom where you threw up.

“Alright, spill Y/N. What is going on, you’ve been a little off lately?”

“Donna, I��m fine.”

“Bull, lady.  Do I need to call Dean and ask him?”

“NO!” Your head went back, and your eyes closed as you thought about what you were going to say. You went with the truth, maybe she would tell you what you were hoping, it was nothing.  “I’ve been having a sharp pain in my right side, sometimes it moves to the front and is in my abdomen.  Every once in while it might go lower.  It’s probably just a sore muscle or maybe the ulcer is coming back”  

“And the upset stomach?”

“That’s new-ish. This is nothing, I’m fine.  It can’t be anything.” You almost whispered.

“You should probably talk to your Dr.  Maybe your OB first, given your history.  That’s what your worried about right?”

With tears in your eyes you gave a soft yes.

“Call them, and then talk to Dean.  Knowing you, you haven’t said anything to him, and were going to keep pretending nothing was happening.”

You walked away to call for an appointment.  Donna was right, you were scared, and you hadn’t told Dean.  You didn’t want to go through this again.  Around year and half ago you were at a girls day out when you just didn’t feel right.  You attributed it to worry you had about something at work.  It didn’t go away and over the next two weeks things got worse. You weren’t hungry, you had a sharp pain in your side, had started burping and not been able to stop it.  That one bothered you the most.   Then you started getting sick.  Overall, you just didn’t feel well.  You figured it was early February now, you just had a good old-fashioned winter cold. When you suddenly had trouble drawing a deep breath and it hurt to breathe, you had gone to a walk-in-clinic.  They thought it was your appendix or gallbladder and sent you to your primary Doctor the next day.  They agreed and sent you to a CT Scan the next day.  Dean went with that morning and waited while you went back for the test. You were told your doctor would have to results in a few days while they were getting the test started.  When they finished the scan, they told you to stay on the table they had a radiologist coming to read the scan right then.  That hadn’t done much for your nerves.  They told you something about a mass on your ovary and kids still being possible, but you needed to see your OB asap.  You had walked back out to Dean in the waiting room in shock, not 100% sure what had happened in the last few minutes.  You had ended up having a cyst on an ovary, which had destroyed that ovary and continued to grow into what your doctor called a giant mass. It had gotten so big it was pushing on your other organs.  They had to go in and take it out.  You were getting to the point you were okay with that part, but the doctor kept talking, and you kept squeezing Dean’s hand harder.  They couldn’t see the uterus around the mass and didn’t know if it had damage or the other ovary, and there was a possibility it was cancerous.  Suddenly the kids you and Dean had been talking about and picturing, might only ever be that, talk.  You had been a wreck the morning of surgery, but Dean was in pre-op with you as long as he could be holding your hand telling you everything was going to be fine. It didn’t matter what happened with the surgery.  If it was just the two of you, or if you ended up adopting. You were in this together. He loved you and the two of you would be just fine.  The surgery had gone well.  They only had to take the mass out and the tests came back cancer free.  

Things between you and Dean were good.  The last year and half had been crazy, no kids yet, although that wasn’t due to lack of trying in the beginning.  The December after your surgery you had ended up with a stomach ulcer and they found a fibroid on your uterus.  You really couldn’t catch a break.  Your doctor had wanted to put you on birth control to slow down the growth for now.  Here you were, once again worried that you wouldn’t be able to give Dean the baby you knew he wanted. His brother Sam, and his wife Jess had had their first child a few months prior and Dean was the loving uncle.  Holding little Jake, he could calm him down faster than anyone but Jess. He spent a bit of time telling him all about Baby, and the things he would teach him when he was older.  You were fairly certain he might get that boy in trouble with a few things, but that could be dealt with in a few years.  You knew Dean was hoping for the day he would be holding his own baby, and teaching them, you were afraid you were never going to be able to give him that.  

You were sitting on the couch when Dean came home from work.

“Hey Sweetheart, how was your day?”

“Fine, how were things at the shop?”

“Good, busy. Dinner smells great.”

“Thanks, it’s got about a half hour till it’s done.  I know you want to shower, but can I talk to you first?”

“Always.”

Dean joined you on the couch as you started explaining.  “So I’ve been feeling kind of off lately, not quite right.  Pain in my side and abdomen.  The last few days throwing up if I ate and drank much.  It’s a bit like before.”

Dean moved closer and held you as he asked, “Are you thinking you have another mass, the fibroid, or something else?”

“I don’t know, and that scares me.  I want it to be nothing, but we both know my luck isn’t that good.  I have an appointment next Wednesday with my OB/GYN. I figured it would cut some of the middle wait time out.”

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“Thanks, but I think I will be ok alone with this first visit.”

“Wait, don’t you have your foot appointment that day?”

“Yes, but it’s in the morning.”

Wednesday your appointments finally arrived.  You had been having trouble with your foot for a few years now, it had gotten so bad you couldn’t even wear a tennis shoe anymore.  You actually were supposed to have surgery on it a few years ago, the same year you had found the mass and had to have that removed instead.  It was a pretty simple appointment; they did updated x-rays since you hadn’t had any in over a year and talked again with the surgeon about what surgery would entail.  He was a foot and ankle specialist at the University hospital.  This was going to be your third foot/ankle related surgery but the first on your right foot.  You had had different doctors each time, and you like this one the best.  He was extremely knowledgeable and easy to talk to.  You may have been nervous for this surgery, but that was because of everything it was going to involve.  You were born with as the doctors called them extremely high arches.  It had caused you a number of problems over the years, sprained ankles, multiply breaks, and your two other surgeries.  They were going to go in and break your fifth metatarsal and put a plate in there and realign it, cut the Achilles tendon and lengthen it, you had tears in the Peroneal tendon which had to be fixed and then attached to the Brevis tendon to strengthen it, ligaments on the inside and outside of the foot needed to be tightened or loosened depending on the side.  You had had all of that done nine years ago on your other foot, but because of problems you had with that first surgery they were taking it a step further. They were going to cut the bones in your heel and realign them.  That part was making you the most nervous.  You would be spending the 3 months following surgery on crutches, possibly longer.  You had spent enough time on them over the years, you were pretty good on them at least. You had been planning on the surgery happening in January, you couldn’t put it off any longer.

The worst part of all this has been the not knowing because your mind is great at making up worst case scenarios, you were a bit worked up for your afternoon OB appointment.  You and your doctor talked and going over your symptoms he was sending you for a CT scan the following week because he thought you might have a kidney stone based on some of your symptoms. He also ordered an ultrasound to check on the fibroid. They don’t do anything with fibroids until they are over 4 cm and causing problems.  When yours was found it was at 3.3 cm, so they had just put you on birth control.  The doctor talked about what could happen if it was the fibroid.  You might need surgery to remove it, if it was to big, they might have to take the uterus out or there were shots out that put you in menopause for a while.  You were due back in his office in two and half weeks to go over the tests.  More waiting, just great.

Dean had dinner waiting for you when you got home. You explained the tests the doctor wanted and what he told you he was thinking.  You never thought you would be in a spot where kidney stones were an option you were hoping for. You two spent the evening on the couch watching movies compromising on your choices. Since Halloween was coming soon Dean wanted a horror movie, you agreed if you watched that one first and ended your night with The Proposal.  That way your mind wasn’t on a horror movie just before bed.

The next week went fairly quickly and your tests were done you were just waiting on follow up. You and Dean both busy at work during the days.  You had lost a manager, you mom had been taking on a lot of caterings which kept her out of the store, and Donna couldn’t pick up more hours because she was taking care of her sister, Jody’s daughters at night.  All this meant you were working open to close three to four days a week and at least 8 hours the other days.  You would get home at night and not want to move from your couch.  Friday morning you were doing your prep work when you received a call from your doctor’s office.  They had both of your results in. They didn’t find kidney stones; the fibroid had doubled in size and there was a mass on your remaining ovary.  Your follow-up appointment with them was 10 days away, but they wanted to see you as soon as you could come in the next day they were open, which was Tuesday.  The last surgery you needed was like that, everything done asap.  You had found out about the mass and a week later you were in surgery.

You hung up with them and called Dean in tears.  Your mind automatically going through worse case scenarios.  He did his best to calm you down and tell you everything would be okay. You two were going to be alright. You called your mom when you hung up from Dean and filled her in on your results. Making yourself get back to work.

Being a Friday, you had a busy lunch rush and had a bit of clean up and more prep work to get ready for the dinner rush.  You were working in the back when the door buzzer went off notifying you of someone coming in.  Donna called you to the front saying a customer needed your help.  The first genuine smile you had all day coming to your face as you took in Dean standing there with a bunch of colorful flowers.  

“Oh Dean, they’re beautiful! Thank you!”

“Not half as beautiful as you Y/N, how are you holding up sweetheart?”    

“I’ve been better. It’s going to be a long weekend waiting to see what he has to say.  My mom talked to my cousin who does some work at the hospital, a friend of hers works for an OB/GYN who has been around awhile and is the only one in town who does this surgery robotically.  I have an appointment with him next week also for his opinion.”

“It’s all going to work out, no matter what it’s you and me together.  I have to get back to work and I know you do to, I just wanted to stop in and see how you were doing.”

“Thank you, Baby, I appreciate it so much.  I love you.”

“Love you too Sweetheart.  I will see you at home tonight”

When you weren’t at work, you and Dean hung out at home over the weekend.  He did his best to take his mind off of your upcoming appointment.  You greatly appreciated his effort.  Before you knew it, Tuesday afternoon rolled around.  This time dean accompanied you to the appointment.  The doctor explained that the fibroid was now at 6.7cm and was what was causing your problems.  He was really pushing these shots you take once a month that put you in menopause for six months. He told you that it would shrink the fibroid, and that would be best to start with.  The other options he was giving you were waiting and getting another ultrasound end of December/early January and coming back then or go in and do surgery sometime. You weren’t sure how you felt about either of those options but were glad he wasn’t going in right away to take out the uterus.  What did frustrate you the most, was how the call on Friday made it sound like things were worse and you needed to come in asap for something to be done, and the doctor wasn’t doing anything right now.

You and Dean both felt a little calmer when you left the office.  “What are you thinking about your options, Darling?”

“Honestly, I’m not so sure about those shots, I would need a lot more information on them first. The whole being put into menopause has me nervous.  That’s not something I ever thought I would be thinking about at 31.  When I talked to the nurse on the phone Friday she made this seem so much worse, and he’s not doing anything other than the shots now. I guess we’ll see what the other doctor says tomorrow.”

The next morning you and Dean were at the other doctor’s office.  New patient paperwork all filled out and you were waiting to go back. Your cousin’s friend called your name and took you back.  She had been talking to your mom, so she knew what was going on and had shared it with the doctor.  You asked her opinion on the shots, and she just shook her head.  She told you there wasn’t any guarantee it would even work, and there was a lot of risk with what going into menopause could do to you and your chance of having a child.  You would have to sign a number of documents that said you didn’t hold that company responsible for any of the large number of side effects.

“I wasn’t sold on them before, I’m really not know” you told her and Dean.

The doctor came in shortly after and did quick exam.  You had asked his opinion on what to do, he said taking it out would be the best thing to try and preserve the uterus and a chance for you to have children in the future. Yes, you could have a child with a fibroid on the uterus, but as big as it was it could cause problems. It didn’t end up being a long appointment because he was called away for a birth. He did order 2 tests and you set those up before leaving.  One was another ultrasound to check where the fibroid was and if that would cause any problems itself. The other was to check the uterus for any cancer spots, they did warn you that one could be painful, and you weren’t going to want to do much after the test was done. You had those both scheduled for the following Tuesday and Wednesday.

As you walked out to your cars you asked Dean “What did you think of him, and everything said?”

“They are both pretty against the shots, and I know you didn’t really like the idea of them either. You cousin said he has more experience, right?”

“Yes, he does. I’ve talked to a few others that know him, and they all like him.  Donna’s aunt was an OB and she referred patients to him if it was something she couldn’t do.”

“Ultimately Y/N, it comes down to what you think, and what you want to do.  We can talk more at home on your thoughts and see what these tests say.  I will support your decision no matter what.”

“Thank you, Babe. I love you.  Have a great day at work.”

“I love you too. I hope you have a great one as well.”

You were talking to Donna at work about everything that you had found out.  She had spent a little time working in her aunt’s office and at one point had been premed in school, you valued her opinion.

“You need to get it taken out girly, it’s already grown a lot on you.  I know how much you and Dean want kids.  If you wait too long you run the risk of losing that chance.”

“Part of me knows that, but the other part of me is worried about what is going to happen during surgery.”

“That’s understandable, any surgery there is a risk.  This doctor has done thousands of these, you’ll be fine, most importantly you’ll be better. Don’t ignore this, Dean and you can adopt if you can’t have kids, Dean won’t be fine if he loses you.  Don’t do those shots, there is a lot of risk with those, and you could run into even more problems.”

“Those shots are pretty much off the table, I really don’t like the idea of them.  I know your right, a part of me just really doesn’t want more surgery.  The last week the pain has gotten worse so I don’t know that I can put this off.”

“I know Sweetie, surgery makes anyone nervous.  This will all work out.”

“Thanks, Donna, you are an amazing friend.”

After dinner that night you and Dean were sitting in the living room and you decided you weren’t going to think about any medical issues.  While he had the game on you grabbed your computer and recipe binder. Settling next to Dean on the couch you pulled up Pinterest and Christmas recipe ideas. You had been scrolling for a few minutes when Dean looked over at your screen.

“What are you looking up Christmas for?”

“Mom and Dad’s Christmas party is a month from tomorrow, and I need to get my baking list around.”

“What do you mean a month away, that’s before Thanksgiving?”

“With Thanksgiving being so late this year, they are doing it the Saturday before.  That way it has less chance running into other Holiday parties.  You don’t want to do it Thanksgiving weekend, and then there are only three other weekends before Christmas and there will be a bit going on.  So I need to figure out what’s on my baking list this year, what’s staying, what I’m adding.”

“It’s too early to talk Christmas.”

“Hallmark starts Christmas movies this weekend, Saturday has some of my favorites we can watch after work!”    

“It’s not even Halloween Y/N, I’m not watching Christmas movies!” Dean threw his head back against the couch turning slightly to glare at you.

“You say that now, we’ll see what happens when I get that remote,” you smirked.  “I could happily watch them year-round.”

“Ehh, your getting better with that.  You used to be into Christmas songs and movies 361, the couple days leading up to Christmas Eve and sometimes that morning you were a little bah humbug saying you were done with all of it.  Then the day after Christmas you start singing Frosty again.”

You just glared at him for a minute, “It was the stress, and trying to get everything just right and make everyone happy.  My shopping will be done, before 2 days before Christmas this year.  I’m going to enjoy it, no stress.”

“Sure thing, Sweetheart, whatever you say.  We’ll see how you are on December 23rd.”

“Going back to the Holiday of the month we are actually in, Sam wanted to know if we wanted to come over Thursday night.  See Jake in his first Halloween costume, hand out candy to the Trick-or-Treaters.  Mom and dad are going to be there too.”

“Sure I’m in. It’s usually a busy night for us so I will be over after I can leave work.”

“Okay so we have my usual baking items: Sugar cookies I  think I’m going to keep it simple and just do drop cookies instead of cut outs, buckeyes, peanut butter blossoms, no bakes, petit-fours, truffles, cranberry bars and the varieties of chocolates those I’ll make with mom. Now I need to figure out some new ones. Hey what do you think about, hey, where are you going?”

“I need a beer if we are going to talk about your crazy Christmas baking list.”

You waited for Dean to settle back next to you to show him your finds.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/174584923042596801/

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/174584923042596805/

“You’re on a Grinch kick this year aren’t you? You mentioned a few weeks ago you wanted a Grinch sweatshirt this year.”

“Maybe, part of me is. Anyways thoughts? What about these?” https://www.pinterest.com/pin/174584923042556919/

“Ooohhhh, Do you think I could make these?” https://www.pinterest.com/pin/174584923040748115/

“We aren’t going to be using our kitchen to make actual food anytime soon are we?  I love you and you are very talented when it comes to your baking but I don’t know if you have the patience for those cupcakes.”

“You’re probably right, it does tend to run thinner when I’m trying to get all this stuff done. Look on the bright side, the party is early this year so I will have the kitchen back to normal sooner.”

“Sureee you will.”

You weren’t going to admit it to Dean right now, but you were trying to force yourself into the Holiday spirit. With everything going on you weren’t sure you were going to be in the celebrating mood this year.  You knew how much he loved the Holiday, and the time with family together. You would put on a happy face for him.

Dean took you to your appointment Tuesday afternoon, because they didn’t recommend driving after since you were going to be in a bit of pain.  It wasn’t even a five minute test to go take a swab of the uterus lining to send in to check for abnormal or cancer cells. They were right though, you definitely hurt after.  You and Dean picked up food on the way home so neither of you would have to cook or clean up. He got you situated on the couch with a heating pad after you got home. You two spent another quiet night in.  The next afternoon you took yourself to your ultrasound.  The results for both tests would be back in time for your appointment the following Tuesday.  

Thursday was Halloween, and you were short handed at work again, but not as busy as you were expecting to be.  You left around 7 and headed over to Sam and Jess’ house.  5-month-old Jake was dressed up in a cute duck onesie.  After saying hi to the couple, your husband, and his parents you grabbed some food and settled down with Jake.  You were told you just missed Cas, his wife Kelly, and their son Jack. The one year old getting cranky and ready for bed.  Jess and Mary joined you shortly.  The guys were watching one of the All Saint’s Day movies.  Apparently having a little one to get excited about put Sam in a better Halloween mood then he usually was in.  Mary asked how you were doing; Dean had apparently told her a few days before and Jess had just found out tonight.

“I’m alright, it’s been going on over a month and I think at this point I want a plan.  I want to know what’s going to happen.  But I want to make sure that we decide on the right course of action too.”

Both ladies assured you they thought you would be fine, and that everything would work out for you. Your attention turning to the little boy on the floor in front of you.

You spent your weekend working and had started some grocery shopping for you baking supplies.  Those supplies then found a home on your kitchen counter.  So Dean was right, he was slowing losing the kitchen for a little while.

Tuesday afternoon saw you and Dean back in your new doctor’s office waiting to be called back.  It wasn’t a long wait and you headed back. Thankful your tests had come back normal and the new ultrasound didn’t show any new problems.  Because of the last surgery you had there was to much scar tissue in your abdomen for the surgery to be done robotically, and the fibroid was too big.  You did have the option for another procedure, he described it as resetting your uterus.  He did tell you it wouldn’t do anything for the fibroid, but it could get your periods back under control and might lesson some pain, you would need a few days off work. The best chance you had if you wanted to get pregnant sometime was to have the fibroid removed.  Now you just needed to make a decision on what you were going to do.  You were leaning toward surgery and when you didn’t make a definitive decision the doctor told you to come back in 2 weeks.  When you were checking out and scheduling the next appointment you asked how far out the wait for surgery was. His calendar was filling up and he only had December 9th and 23rd open.

On your way home you and Dean talked about what you both were thinking.  You told him you were leaning toward surgery, and he also thought that would be your best choice.  Now you just weren’t sure you really wanted to wait.  If you called your first doctor, he could do the surgery in two weeks, he just had to wait for insurance purposes.  Honestly, he was never busy. That put you the day before your parents Christmas party or waiting till the next weekend which was the day after Thanksgiving.  Another problem you had was making sure you had help at work. Right now, you didn’t have the help to do it.  If you pushed it too far into December it was going to be a problem with your foot surgery.  They had said with your stomach because they were cutting it open you would need to be careful not to tear your stitches for a few weeks and be limited for 6 weeks with what you could do. Crutches weren’t going to be a good thing to mix in.  

Your parents, you and Dean all talked.  You didn’t have the help to do the surgery in November, December wasn’t a good idea because of your next surgery.  You decided if the doctor thought you could wait you would do the foot surgery in January and then six weeks later when you should be able to start putting some pressure on your foot you would have the other.  That way the six weeks you needed to be careful with the second surgery would be ending in time for therapy in May.  Work was going to be getting better help wise because you were selling on of your locations.  The gas station next door to one of them wanted to expand and the only way they could was if they bought your property.  That deal was supposed to close first of January. Your foot surgery was scheduled for the 16th.  Things seemed to fall in to place for that all to work out.

You still weren’t feeling the best, but you were glad to have noticed you didn’t have the pain in your side and stomach every day anymore.  It had turned into just having really bad periods every few weeks.

When you went to your appointment two weeks later you went alone and talked to the doctor about your thoughts and timeline. He didn’t think that would be a problem, telling you before he left that removing it was your best option.  They weren’t’ scheduling yet for February or March so they would call you when those books opened.

If you were honest, you were feeling better with what you had decided on.  Also, the fact that no one was worried enough to say you had to get in right now for surgery.  You were still going to worry between now and surgery it was just who you were.  

It was the third week of November, your new focus on the upcoming Holidays.  You had already started your baking, freezing everything once it was made cooled and put in an airtight container. The list was still shorter this year it only had about 15 things on it.  You didn’t get the Grinch recipes made, or the snow globe cupcakes, but you did make the thumb print snowmen. Next year.  Two days before the party you moved on from baking to getting the food you were doing around.  In between all this also trying to help your mom decorate their house and putting decorations up at yours.  You didn’t end up doing as much to your house as you usually would, but just less to take down after and you knew things would be crazy then.  

The day of the party both you and your mom ended up being stuck at work longer than you were supposed to be.  This meant you had to work quicker when you got home.  Dean went to your parents with you to help with the last minute set up. It was nice living on the same street as them, so you didn’t have far to go.  With the final cleaning finished you were in the kitchen with Dean starting to get food around while your mom ran upstairs to shower.  Your brother and his girlfriend coming shortly after.  They had been dating for almost a year, but she didn’t come around much, so you didn’t know her well.  Trying to ask her questions about herself didn’t get you very far because she only gave one-word answers.  You looked to Dean and he just shrugged his shoulders, not knowing how to get much out of her either.  When your mom came back down, and the food was in good shape you and dean went home to get ready and get the desserts.

You always enjoyed this party it was family from both of your parent’s sides, Dean’s family started coming when you two were dating. A variety of your parent’s friends along with your brother’s and yours. You were surprised to see more cars in the driveway when you returned. Cas, Benny and Kelly were in the kitchen talking to your dad and brother, along with one of his old friends from school. It didn’t take long for the house to fill up with people and the sounds of laughter.  It was close to one by the time you and Dean went home after helping to clean up.  You were beat and ready to fall into bed, Dean not far behind.

The restaurant you were selling, was the store you spent every day at, it had been your baby over the last 8 years.  Since you were going to be closing it soon you had cut back on the Sunday hours which meant you and Dean could enjoy a lazy morning after the party. It was nice not to get up and go, you had missed the relaxing mornings you two used to enjoy. When you finally dragged yourselves from bed it was to the kitchen to make a late breakfast of eggs, bacon and toast. You would have to head in to work after lunch, but that didn’t mean you had to be in a hurry to get ready.  After cleaning up the kitchen Dean dragged you back to the bedroom where you spent a little more time catching up.

That week was Thanksgiving which meant a shorter work week for you both.  Thursday morning started off much like Sunday’s had, although you both had to be out the door by noon and have your food and deserts ready. A late lunch with your family at your grandmother’s house was first.  The Y/L/N could be a rowdy group, so it was usually a good time as long as you could avoid any family arguments.  After cleaning up there you would head to Dean’s parents where they had an early dinner. You tried not to eat too much at either place for two reasons, one you wanted to be able to move later and two you were trying to avoid being sick.  It didn’t hit you as much as before, but you never knew when it would.  After the guys collapsed in front of the football game on tv, Mary and Jess hit the adds. You left to go pick up your mom.  The last two years you to had done some Thursday evening shopping because you both worked on Friday, and it gave you time just he two of you.  You hit the mall and a few stores trying to start on your shopping list.  You meant it when you told Dean that everything was going to be done early this year. You were going to enjoy the Holiday season.  When you finished you dropped her back at home before going back to your in-laws. A short time later you and Dean headed home.

Much like it does every year December flies by.  You hadn’t finished your shopping as early as you wanted, but you weren’t as stressed about it this year.  You enjoyed nights with Dean curled up on the couch.  You had seen the Grinch more times than you could count this year, I guess you were having a Grinchy year.  Before you knew it, Christmas Eve was here.  Both you and Dean worked that morning before meeting your families at church for the 4 o’clock service.  You had to go early if you wanted a park, and a seat.  It was always so beautifully decorated for Christmas, you enjoyed taking it all in waiting for Mass to start. One of your favorite parts of this service was when Father would call any little kids up that wanted to and ask them questions about the religious aspects of the holiday. Where was Jesus born?  Your favorite answer this year was Baltimore. What gifts did the baby receive? Cake and ice cream.  The answers they came up with were always a laugh.  You hoped you would be sending your own child up there someday.

Everyone headed to your parents’ house after, some other family and friends would be joining you. You had dinner and then played games. As you and your cousins had grown so had the games.  Jake was the only child present and he wasn’t old enough to understand what was going on. With all the adults playing it could get a little rowdy especially between Sam and Dean.  One of your aunts had done that gifts wrapped in a saran wrap ball and it seemed like only those two could make much progress.  So of course, when one of them was trying to unwrap the other would give a little trash talk.  You had been feeling a little off and would disappear from the room.  When the ball was unwrapped, and Dean saw you left again he came to find you.  He found you sitting on the steps just outside your parents’ upstairs bathroom.

“Everything all right, Sweetheart?”

“Not really, my stomach is hurting me a bit and if I try to eat or drink I’m running to the restroom because it’s going to make a reappearance.”

“Anything I can do to make it better?”

“Thank you, but no I just need to tough it out.”

“Soon Y/N this is all going to be behind you honey.”

“I cannot wait.”

He held you close as you both sat on the steps for a few minutes softly kissing the top of your head.  When you rejoined your family, they were on to a different game.  The two of you hanging back to watch.  When the time came to leave you were more than ready to head home just so Dean could hold you in bed.  You fell into a fitful sleep that night, not feeling all that much better when you awoke.

The two of you were spending the morning at your mom and dad’s and then going to John and Mary’s in the afternoon. Your dad’s mom and siblings joined you for breakfast and afterwards you exchanged gifts.  Luckily, you only had to leave the room once.  Dean knew you weren’t feeling well so the two of you left shortly after to go home before heading to his parent’s house. When you arrived, you headed to the kitchen to help Mary.  The two of you got along really well, you often considered yourself luck in that way. A few of your friends didn’t have the best relationship with their in-laws. By the time Sam and Jess arrived dinner was ready, and you all gathered round the table to enjoy. It was a great night spent with them.

The end of December was quickly approaching, and you hadn’t heard anything from the company buying your story, communication had just stopped.  After you talked to your dad, he started making phone calls to the company again to see what was going on.  Their plans for the property and been pushed back a few months so they were no longer in a hurry to close. You ended up pushing your foot surgery back there weeks till the 6th of February.  Your dad finally got a date out of them you were closing on Monday the 3rd of February, that would also be the last day open.  You would spend the next two days moving everything out. The New Year wasn’t even here yet and you knew it was going to be going fast.  

Things were going to get busy for you in January, so you and Dean decided you just wanted a quiet night in for New Year’s.  At the store you picked up a bottle of Sparkling Cider to toast with, neither one of you big Champagne drinkers, along with a few different appetizers to make.  The evening was spent curled up on the couch watching movies, until you switched over to watch the ball drop. Sharing a sweet kiss with Dean when midnight arrived.  This was going to be your year.  The surgeries would be done soon, you and Dean could move on with the rest of your lives, it was all going to work out and be fine.

You had been right when you told Dean January would be crazy.  You spent the month working on cleaning out things at work.  The office took a bit of time, dividing up what was going home and what you were sending to your new office.   Cleaning out things you didn’t use any more, what you were selling and what was moving to the other location.  On top of all that you were trying to keep a relatively clean house and not let everything there fall on Dean’s shoulders. Everyday it seemed like a little bit more left the store and the shelves were slowly becoming bare.

Sunday through Wednesday of closing week was going to be extremely chaotic for you all, so you wanted things at home that needed to be done before surgery finished by Saturday. You cleaned the house top to bottom, rearranged the living room furniture so it would be easier to navigate on crutches, got the crutches ready,  finished laundry and tried to stock up on non-perishable groceries so Dean wouldn’t have to go out as much.  

The last two days you were open were particularly emotional for you.  This location had been your baby and second home for the last 8 years, you had helped with the cleaning, gutting, and remodeling of the building when you bought it.  Everything was set up just how you wanted it.  When you went back to work in a few months at the other location it was going to be vastly different.  Sitting at the closing you were trying to hold back the tears as you signed the papers, part of you wished Dean was there to give you some of his strength but he had to be at the shop that day since he was taking the next 3 days off.  Leaving the closing you went to work to open for the last time.  That day was extremely busy for your and Donna so many of your loyal customers coming in one last time.  Dean came in for a late lunch giving you a much-needed hug, he left after promising to be back before closing.  Dean along with your parents came back before closing helping you to clean up and finish making orders.  When you turned the open sign off one last time Dean pulled you into his arms and held you while you cried.

“It’s okay Sweetheart. It’s the start of a new chapter, you have a lot of memories to take with you.”

“Thanks, Dean. I know, I just hate goodbyes, and change.”

“I know you do, but it’s a good one.  Keep telling yourself that.  Closing this story is going to help greatly relieve some stress.”

“You’re right, Babe.”

“Hey! I’m always right. We should probably head home; we have an early busy day tomorrow.”

It was six am when you and Dean pulled back into the parking lot the next day.  You had wanted a few minutes without the others around to take care of some of your stuff.  By 6:30 someone was there to disconnect the water lines so the pop dispenser and ice machine could be moved.  Your parents arrived at 7 and you started loading both of their trucks and the trailer with items going to the other store.  Sam arrived and went with Dean in one of the trucks following your mom to go unload. Electricians, and others arrived to get the oven and its components unhooked.  You had gone around the day before and put a note on everything stating where it was going, whether the other store, your or your parents’ house for storage, staying in the building or going somewhere and you just didn’t know where yet.  The movers were the last to arrive taking some of the bigger equipment for you, this way you guys didn’t have to figure out how to get it on and off a trailer.  Dean and Sam arrived back to help load the truck and your SUV. At one-point Dean took one of the “going somewhere” notes and tapped it to your back.  It was awhile and two stops later before anyone told you. It was 6 o’clock that night when you put the last load in your car to leave for the day, heading home to unload one more time.  By the time it was unloaded your foot hurt so bad you could barely walk, both you and Dean collapsing on the couch not moving till you went to bed.

The next day you had a few more things to get out of the store and had to meet the pop company to pick up their equipment since they couldn’t come the previous day.  You left the store that afternoon for the final time. Your OB and scheduled one last ultrasound you had to run and get that done, thankfully the fibroid had not changed from your last one in December. One more grocery store run to stock up for a bit, then home to vacuum and make sure you were all packed for the hospital.  

Both your mom and Dean were going with you for surgery, but Dean had an early morning meeting the next day he couldn’t reschedule so your mom was staying the night in the hospital and bringing you home the next day.  It was an hour drive and you had to be there at 6:30 for an 8:30 surgery. You went through all your pre-op things and your mom and Dean joined you back there waiting for you to go.  Several people were in and out of your little curtain room, the surgeon, anesthesiologist, nurses, and med students.  It was finally time to wheel you back after getting one last hug and kiss from Dean and him telling you everything would be fine.  A few hours later you woke up in recovery which is where you saw Dean and your mom again.  It is also where you found out they didn’t have a room for you, and you were staying in a short-term patient ward.  It was almost like a pre-op room, one giant room with 15 curtained off rooms.  Actually, the pre-op room was bigger.  There was a bed a chair and one of the old hospital TVs that moved.  The back of your foot where they did the heal work was bleeding through your after surgery splint and they said it would take a few hours to stop so they propped it up and told you, you couldn’t get out of bed. It only took a few hours for you to be tired of sitting in one spot, as someone who spent all day on her feet this was a struggle.  Sleeping in a hospital had never come easy for you with your previous surgeries and adding all the extra noise with so many people around that wasn’t happening either.  It was later in the afternoon when you told Dean he should go.

“Babe, you might as well head home, you have an hour drive and there isn’t anything you can do here. Plus, there really isn’t any room in here.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to leave if you need me.”

“We will be fine, I’m not moving, and mom will be here if I need something.  Go home get some rest it’s been a long week.  I love you I’ll see you at home tomorrow.”

“Love you too, I’ll call you later. Take care Sweetheart. Y/M/N, call me if you need something or anything.” He gave you a kiss and hugged your mom before leaving.

The rest of the evening and night dragged on, when you finally fell asleep that night you woke up almost every half and hour. The nurses were in every hour, and around 2am one of the other patients started screaming because he pulled something out he shouldn’t have.  By 5 am you gave up on sleep.  One of the doctors came in later in the morning to wrap another layer of gauze around your splint to cover up the blood, and by noon they let you go home.  

The next two weeks went fairly quickly, Dean made a good nurse when he was home at night getting you whatever you needed so you didn’t have to get up or try and carry anything while using the crutches.  You had practiced on the crutches before surgery, but it is still a little different when you have to be using them.  As your family knew well, you were also accident prone and managed to slip and slam your foot down a handful of times.  Both your parents, and his would stop over during the day to see if you needed anything or to bring you lunch.   The stitches and staples came out at the two-week mark, that wasn’t a fun experience you had never had it hurt as much as it did this time.  The doctor wasn’t putting you in a cast, he was going to let you leave in a boot which you would be able to take off if you were sitting with it up or to shower.  Thank you for small miracles!  The next appointment was four weeks away, the Friday before your Monday surgery.

The next month went fine for you, just very long.  You were still stuck at home so things did get a bit boring, a number of new games could be found on your phone and you found a website with fanfiction from your favorite show you started reading.  While fine for you, things were going nuts in the outside world, something called Covid-19 was making a lot of people extremely sick, overseas countries shut down and in the U.S., many states were doing the same thing.  Your follow up appointment was cancelled and moved to a video chat, then days before it was scheduled your next surgery was cancelled.  Stay at home orders were put in place and masks were required for those who had to leave the house.  

It was definitely a crazy time and it went on for a few months.  6 weeks after you last video appointment,  during the first full week of May, you had another and this one sent you to therapy if you could find someone open.  You could also lose the boot and work on losing the crutches. The place you had gone for past surgeries was open and you started back there.  This surgery was the hardest time you had to start walking again.  There was a bit of pain if your heel hit the ground, so you couldn’t completely get rid of the crutches like you wanted to.  The therapist you were working with said with the type of surgery done to your heel, the pain you had with it would determine what you could do and how fast you would get there.  

You got a call from your OB’s office, they were given the clear to start surgeries again and yours was scheduled for June 1st, which was two weeks away.  You had had a few problems over the last couple of months and just hoped nothing had changed and they would be able to just go in and take the fibroid out no problem.  The closer the date got the more worried you became.  Dean tried to tell you everything was going to be fine, and not to worry, but you aren’t the best listener.  Because of things going on with Covid, you needed to be home the week before surgery as much as possible only going to therapy twice and the grocery store once early in the week to get a few things you wanted.  For the last three months Dean had done the shopping, and you were thankful, but there were a few things you wanted to get yourself.  Saturday you were going to have to get a Covid test and then had to self-isolate until you left for the hospital on Monday morning.  The hardest part of that was going to be sleeping in a different room from Dean, you were even supposed to wear a mask when he was in the same room as you.  You had spent the week before rearranging the living room again, then cleaning the house best you could as you hobbled around. Friday night you spent the evening with Dean curled up in your spots on the couch.  The closer you got to surgery the more nervous you became.      

“Sweetheart, everything is going to go just fine.  There is nothing for you to worry about, and no matter how much you worry it isn’t going to change anything.”

“I know, I’m just, I can’t help it.  You know how my mind works I’m great at going to the worse case possible. I’ve always wanted kids, and I know you did too, I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to give that to you.”

“Hey, it’s you and me no matter what happens.  If we can have kids one day awesome, if not we will look into adopting.  What’s not changing is you and me, we are in this together, always.”

“I love you.  Thanks for being so amazing, especially during these last crazy months when I couldn’t do much on my own.”

“I love you, too. That’s what I’m here for, you would do the same thing for me.  You always take care of me when I’m sick.  I will always be here for you.”

“I will always be here for you too.”

Saturday morning you did a few more things around the house before giving Dean a kiss and leaving for your test.  It went fairly quick your doctor’s office scheduled you an appointment and you preregistered. You headed home to work on laundry and make sure you bag was packed. That evening you and Dean were watching movies in the living room, although unlike usual you weren’t sitting together on the couch.  Sunday was a warm sunny day, so you enjoyed it outside. Monday morning Dean took you to the hospital, you went through check in and then through the routine in pre-op.  Just before they took you back you snuck in a quick hug and kiss from Dean.  

“I love you, Baby, everything is going to be just fine.  I will talk to you after surgery.”

“I love you too, thank you for everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me for anything.  We are in this together.  Love you Sweetheart.”

Dean was able to stay at the hospital during surgery, but he had to leave after. They weren’t allowing visitors into the hospital, so you were going to be on your own in the hospital for the next three days. Dean headed to the waiting room and they came to wheel you back to surgery.  Well, here goes nothing. 

Part 2

[bakuhoes-slut234]

Kirishima x reader FriendS with Benefits part 2 fluff

Y/N was staring at the clock, watching each second pass.

It was the end of the school day and she was desperate.

She pressed her thighs together, hoping to get some sort of relief. She suppressed the moan that dared to slip past her lips.

Y/N and Kirishima have been friends with benefits for about 5 months now. Somewhere along the line, she started to notice things that she hadn't noticed before.

The way his smile lit up the whole room, how he was able to lift up someone's mood, his strong, muscular arms, perfect six pack, sharp jawline, his pointy teeth that she wanted him to bite her hard enough with that it draws blood.

[Flashback]

Today, in hero training class, Kirishima was wearing his hero costume. The small amount of clothing already made Y/N blush, but today, he was fighting against Bakugou. During the fight, Bakugou sent a huge explosion at Kiri. Luckily he didn't get hurt thanks to his quirk, but the heat if the blast was hit enough to burn away his clothes.

Once the smoke cleared, Kirishima stood frozen in place, using his hands to cover himself since his costume was disintegrated in the explosion.

Y/N turned beet red and hid her face in her hands. Of course she had seen him naked a million times, but just seeing him look so vulnerable made butterflies go wild in her stomach.

She. Finally mustered up the courage to look back at the arena but instantly regretted it.

As soon as she looked up, she locked eyes with Kirishima. His face bright red, pleading for her to help him get out of this situation.

Bakugou was laughing heartily on the ground at the look on his best friends face.

Y/N quickly ran to the change rooms and grabbed a towel. She ran back to the stands and asked All Might if she could go and give the towel to Kiri. To which he agreed.

Y/N walked into the arena, staring at the floor. She kicked Bakugou as she walked past him and held the towel out for Kirishima to take.

She felt to towel get pulled out of her hand and she turned to walk away. She could already feel a wetness between her legs and wanted to get out of there.

"Wait, um. Can you stand in front of me so I can pull the towel on without showing my jewels to the rest of the class?" He asked.

Y/N stopped and blushed as red as a ruby and nodded. She stood in front of him as he wrapped the towel around his waist.

"Thanks" he beamed and pulled her and Bakugou out if the arena.

[End Of Flashback]

Finally, the bell rang, that signalled the end of the day.

Y/N scribbled something onto a piece of paper and putting it into Kirishima's desk before running out the class with her things.

Kirishima opened the note and blushed.

_____________________________________________

Meet me in my dorm room asap. I need you.

xoxo Y/N

_____________________________________________

Kirishima sighed.

"How the hell am I going to tell her that I don't want to do this anymore?" He questioned himself quietly.

He packed up his things and walked out the class, throwing the note in the bin in the process.

He made his way up to Y/N's dorm and knocked on the door.

The door flung open and he was pulled inside.

"Finally. What took so long?" She huffed, looking flustered.

"Sorry" he said softly.

Y/N crashed her lips against his, pouring all of her desperation into him, showing him how much she needed him.

Kirishima barely made an effort to kiss back.

In his head, he was trying to hold himself together.

' It means nothing Eijiro. She's just your friend. You knew that was all you were going to be, so why did you go and catch feelings?' he mentally scolded himself.

He was so lost in his thoughts, he hadn't felt her pull away.

"Eijiro, what's wrong?" She asked, pulling him out of his own thoughts.

"Wha- oh, um... Nothing" he said weakly.

"We don't have to do this now if you don't want to." She said, trying not to sound disappointed.

"No, it's not that. It's just- uuggg, nevermind. Where were we?" He said, inching his face closer to hers.

He closed his eyes and leaned in for a kiss. Suddenly, his lips with... A palm?

He opened his eyes and saw Y/N wearing a worried expression.

"Eijiro, seriously, what's wrong?" She said and put her hand back to her side.

"I-I don't think we should do this anymore" he let his head hang.

Those words shot through her heart like an arrow. Y/N was too afraid to confess to him and decided that this was probably all she would ever get from him. Sex. That's it. If she confessed, he would have probably rejected her, so she took what she could get. She had convinced herself that, that was all they were ever going to be.

' Is he bored if me? Am I not enough? Is there someone else? ' she asked herself.

When he was met with silence, he glanced up to see Y/N's nose red and eyes glossy. She looked like she was about to cry. And she was, but she'd be damned if she let him see her like that. She choked back the lump in her throat.

"C-can I ask w-w-why?" She questioned, fighting to hold back tears.

"I just can't anymore" he said

"I-is there s-someone e-else?"

"No" he answered honestly.

"Do you not l-like the feel of m-my body against yours?" She asked

"I really like it."

"Do you regret it?" She asked. If he have the answer that she didn't want to hear, she knew she would cry.

"I don't regret it. I really like how you feel, against me, around me. You're amazing, but, something's changed" he said.

"What's changed?"

"Me" he stated.

"Kirishima, please, I need you to explain to me why we can't just stay the way that we are" she pleaded with him.

"We're supposed to be friends with benefits. No feelings involved" he paused.

Y/N felt her heart slam against her chest.

' He knows ' she panicked.

"And... We can't keep going like this because I caught feelings for you. I can't keep doing this, hoping that we could be more than just friends with benefits. Y/N, it hurts everytime we come down from a high and you walk out my dorm, or I walk out of yours and then pretend like nothing happened." He moved away from her slightly to see how she would react. When she didn't move or speak, he thought he had fucked up. So he did the only thing he could do, he started walking towards the door. Just as he was about to open it, a hand wrapped around his wrist.

"Eijiro, please, don't leave me" she begged.

"But I can't keep doing this"

"I-I like you too. So please, don't walk out of that door. Stay here, for the night. We don't have to do anything, just please don't walk away. We have walked away from each other enough. " She said, her gazed glued to the floor, hand still holding tightly onto his wrist. Afraid that if she let go, she would lose him.

Kirishima felt his heart swell.

"So then, what are we?" He asked and took a step closer to her.

"Eijiro Kirishima, will you go out with me?" She asked and locked eyes with him. Her cheeks were stained pink, eyes still slightly glossy and breathing fast.

"Of course Y/N." He said, tears pricking in his eyes.

She pulled him in for a hug. A hug that lasted for what felt like hours. A hug that they both didn't know they needed. The first hug between the pair and they hope that one day, they will share one last big together, a hug just like this one.

[incoherentbabblings]

Take Back the Cake, Burn the Shoes, and Boil the Rice (1/11)

Within two months there have been two murders of Gotham newlyweds moments after the ceremony. The only connecting factor was both brides wore the same designer's work. Needing to establish who exactly is behind the crimes, Bruce enlists Tim and Stephanie to have the biggest wedding Gotham high society has seen in decades, putting a target on their heads not just for the killer, but Gotham society too. It goes about as well as you'd expect. 

Ao3 link here!

Hey, @thatblondeperson​ @our-happygirl500-fan the odyssey begins, huh? Thank you both for your help with this, I imagine I will keep bugging you with questions and pictures of pretty dresses going forward.

“No way.”

“Batgirl.”

“No! Are you serious? Look, I did the trip to England – even though I have a life here and didn’t want to – because it was like only for a semester and it was to help people… but this? No.”

“I agree.” Red Robin chimed, bolstering Batgirl against Batman. He pulled back his cowl, revealing the tired young man underneath. He didn’t look wholly invested in anything Bruce had to say. “Can’t you fake it? With Selina or… I don’t know. Zatanna or…” Tim shrugged uselessly. “I’ve already had a fake engagement! One’s enough, thank you.”

“No-one is going to believe Bruce Wayne’s engagement… They know it will all fall through.” Dick chimed up. He was sat at the batcomputer, feet up on the keyboard, eating chunks of mango and watermelon and looking completely indifferent to the outraged faces around him. He looked briefly at Bruce. “No offense.”

“Well you do it then!” Stephanie argued. “You’re a…fully grown adult. No-one would blink an eye if you and Babs got engaged! Everyone knows you’re sweet on each other.”

Dick slowed the chewing of his fruit. Looking Steph straight in the eye, he spat out seeds over the edge of the ground down in the depths of the cave. Tim watched out of the corner of his eye as Bruce folded his arms, exasperated. Finally, after a tense stare off, Dick grinned.

“Can’t. Going off world on Friday. Can’t get married if you’re not on Earth. And this case really needs to be closed asap.”

It was a shit eating grin, one that made Steph want to instinctively slap it off his face as she felt increasingly crowded into a corner. Tim meanwhile screwed up his lips.

“You seriously think the designer has something to do with it?”

“Two murders at a wedding in two months. Both bride and groom.”

“No such thing as a coincidence?” Asked Stephanie. She tugged off her cape, hair getting caught as she did so. After a brief fight with the cowl, she tossed both aside and spun back to look at Batman.

“No. Not in these instances.”

“But what’s the connection?”

“Both brides were wearing the same designer.”

Tim nodded, catching on. “So… someone either has it out for the designer and wants her life to collapse… or she’s a wedding dress designer who hates happy couples.”

“Potentially.” Bruce walked towards Tim, seeing he was less aggressively opposed then Stephanie. “All you have to do is pretend. Hire her for the dress, plan the wedding. I’ll find the truth.”

Stephanie was not moved. “Using us as decoys? Really? And with what spare time am I supposed to plan a wedding? This is my final year of college… I can’t drop it all for the sake of a lie.” She looked to Tim, hoping to implore him to side with her. Bruce couldn’t make them both agree, surely.

To her growing distress, Tim was frowning off to the side, pulling his usual thinking face when he was musing something over.

“We’d seriously have to go through with it? Like from engagement, planning…wedding. All of it?” Something sparked in Tim’s eyes, and Stephanie’s stomach dropped.

She shook her head at him, unable to beg out loud. Bruce’s large chest heaved up and down with an exaggerated breath.

“It would have to be public. We’ll be making you targets. Big ones.”

If anything, this seemed to further motivate Tim, rather than placing the pressing guilt that had formed in Stephanie’s lungs. He looked to Bruce, expression serious and earnest.

“But we’d be potentially redirecting it from innocent people.”

Dick blinked, his somewhat sadistic enjoyment of their discomfort shifting as he too noticed Tim’s expression. A sort of desperation that Stephanie recognized in a way that made her breath short.

Panic went through her then, and she blurted out a, “What if I say no?” She tried to put her foot down, but instead it came out quiet and pleading.

“Then I won’t do it either.” Tim said, looking her in the eye for the first time since the idea was brought up. “I don’t want to. Not without her.”

Dick’s expression morphed into what only could have been described as pity. Tim and Stephanie were not dating, hadn’t been for years, but everyone knew from watching that they still knew each other inside and out, better than most anyone else. For all Tim had been drifting in and out of closeness with Bruce and Dick the past three years, it seemed he had only relocated positions within the family. Always to Cassandra first, his sister in every way that counted, and, despite his initial reservations, also to Stephanie, who had taken every effort to move past the worst of their adolescence with open arms.

They had grown closer (still not close enough in Tim’s opinion) but a level of shyness, of fragility remained. One wrong step and the false peace they had put together the past few years would crumble and reveal structural faults that neither could fix.

For all Tim wanted a partner to ensure that his loneliness would depart from him permanently; for all Tim wanted Stephanie to be that partner – Stephanie in all her hard fought and earned independence – Tim knew he couldn’t force her to do anything. Neither could Bruce. Not anymore. That lesson, they had both learned a long time ago.

He had been treading on eggshells for some time now, desperate to not upset her, even if it came at the cost of his own happiness.

Stephanie knew all of this. She had watched him argue with himself and twitch in a way that indicated he wanted to move closer, and she had watched him refuse to verbalise any of it.

He wouldn’t speak; therefore, she wouldn’t speak. Ergo, their relationship was at a dead end.

Unless he could get her to agree to lie with him.

Which would make her miserable. Because he wouldn’t be talking to her. Not truly.

And the uroboros of a Catch-22 situation would continue to eat its tail.

Bruce watched the naked relief play out on Stephanie’s face that she had Tim’s conditional support. He gave another sigh, and Dick watched from his seat, knowing that Bruce was about to play dirty.

“I do not trust anyone else to follow this through.”

Tim groaned, and hung his head down, and Dick knew Bruce had won. Stephanie meanwhile, for a lack of a better term, flipped out.

“No.” She said, and she began to tear off her uniform until she was only in her black tank top and leggings, stomping barefooted back up the stairs.

Trying to not take it personally, Tim rushed to the changing area to get into his shirt and jeans and socks. Maybe if he just caught her…

Dick watched the pair go, chewing loudly on a crunchy piece of fruit.

“Sometimes you’re really cruel.”

“…I know.”

Stephanie rushed into one of the drawing rooms, grabbing her bag she had left resting on a seat to pull out her shoes, collapsing to the expensive rug. Her little purple car was parked out front, so she could make a quick getaway.

Tim practically fell into the room, having thrown on a checked shirt and jeans that made his butt look good.

Stupid Tim.

“Steph.” He breathlessly plead. She tied her shoelaces, ignoring his tone. Finding the expensive cream rug much more interesting, she aggressively tied knots in her shoes.

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“We could end up saving a lot of people down the line and –”

“You know that throwing yourself in front of a bullet isn’t going to make daddy love you any better, right?”

Tim stopped breathing, and she knew instantly she had crossed a line. She slumped forward, head banging against her knees. Tim watched her shoulders heave with silent sobs. Instantly he moved to be level with her, curled up on the floor, hidden out of sight from Alfred, or Bruce, or anyone.

His hand hovered, wanting to stroke her hair, but instead he settled for her bare forearm. He felt her muscle spasm under his cold fingers and watched as goosebumps appeared on her arm. She was looking paler than normal.

“Steph I won’t... I won’t force you to do it. But, if we can make ourselves targets then we could be saving someone else, and if Bruce closes the case before we even get to the alter… It doesn’t have to be serious...” He murmured the last part, trying to hide the paranoid part of him that believed Stephanie was reacting so strongly to the idea of being tied to him again – even temporarily.

“Tim, if this were five years ago, I would have said yes in a heartbeat. And not just because there’s no-one else I’d rather do this with...”

Tim smiled, despite the general mood of the room. Stephanie, with her head pressed to her knees, did not see.

“But I’m not going to be fake marrying a nice boy from down the road.”

“What do you mean?”

She finally looked up at him, and her eyes were dry and clear.

“Your name, Tim. Bruce’s name.”

He blinked, still not comprehending. Her fingers crept forward, absently stroking the fabric of his shirt.

“If you were me... If you were just an average Gothamite, and you saw that one of the richest and most handsome guys in Gotham, the one who spends his life in the public eye... If you saw he was marrying a girl who has a father on death row, and a mother who has a history of drug abuse. A girl who he hasn’t publicly associated with before outside of days where his sister was present... A girl who got pregnant at fifteen... How would that look? A two-month engagement?”

“I’d think it was none of my business.”

“And then the marriage breaks off after a month. Or they don’t even make it to the marriage stage. What do you think happens to that girl? How do you think her life is going to be afterwards?”

Tim couldn’t help it, with his free hand he reached for one of hers. Tangling their fingers together, he felt her trembling. She squeezed back tightly, their fingers turning a little purple.

“Bruce and I wouldn’t let anything like that happen.” Tim swore.

“You can’t promise that.”

Still so jaded, under all that optimism. Still so doubtful of how kind the world actually was.

“Yes, I can. I can.”

“God Tim, you’re so naïve!”

She tried to pull away, but Tim held tight, not letting her leave. She stared at him outraged, as he tried to convince her.

“Please Steph. Bruce doesn’t make mistakes about this sort of thing. More people are going to die unless we do something.”

Pale blue eyes stared into indigo, and a long moment passed in silence, the clock on the mantle providing the only noise. Some garden birds chirped outside, and the fluttering of their wings past the window made Stephanie flinch out of the moment. She breathed unsteadily. Tim tugged their conjoined hands closer to his chest.

“You’d honestly rather do it with no-one else?” He asked, smiling crookedly.

She blinked, unable to stand the vulnerability anymore, frowned and looked out the window. “You said the same thing downstairs.”

He blushed, and she tugged her hands finally free. Tim tried not to grimace at the feeling. Steph was always warm, a beacon of tanned skin and golden hair. Without her, his fingers quickly grew cold.

He had run home once, on a cold Gotham day, when he and his dad had spent an afternoon playing catch outside. His parents had been home for two months that time, and he had run in to find his mother and beg for a hot chocolate. He had been only six, and Janet had been sat in front of the computer, dark red hair piled up in a messy bun. Tim remembered her always looking well put together, even in her messier more relaxed moments.

“Mom, mom!” He had cried, cheeks flushed red from the temperature. His mother’s stress lines had disappeared when she spied him coming her way, and she held out her arms to catch him. She had been in a good mood that day. Ready to indulge him.

She pulled him up onto her lap, and Tim had laughed.

“Feel my hands!” And he had put his frozen fingers on her cheeks, causing her to gasp exaggeratedly.

“Frozen solid!” And she had kissed and kissed and kissed him and with each kiss he felt warmer and warmer. “Cold hands mean a warm heart though Tim. That’s the most important bit.”

And his father had entered the room, and the smile had slipped from Janet’s face, and the soft moment with his mother had been over. The warmth fled him, her and the house.

Fifteen years later, Tim wasn’t sure he believed Janet’s little saying anymore. Steph was just plain warm. From her head to her toes, her golden skin gave off warmth like she had been laying in the sun all day. Like she held the sun in her chest, and her hair was the yellow rays escaping. His mother and father’s warmth had come and gone with their moods. Stephanie’s was ever present. Even when she was angry, even when she was being cruel, she seemed incapable of being cold whilst being so.

Tim blinked, realising he had completely drifted off and away from the present moment, and was daydreaming again. Stephanie sat with her legs splayed out, still upset but more reserved than before.

"I’m going to go home.” She declared. “And I am going to think it over. Give me a day.”

“You gonna talk to your mom?”

“If I do go through with it, she’ll need to know.” Stephanie shifted, putting on her other shoe. “You’re already on thin ice with her you know. Have been for years.”

Tim was going to tease her and ask why it mattered what her mother thought of him, but like Steph said, he was treading on thin ice. Even getting her to consider it was a victory in his eyes.

She said her goodbye and got up, Tim remaining sat on the floor. Impulsively, she tugged at his hair playfully. Tim may have imagined it, but he felt her hand stroke his hair, like she used to when he’d rest his head on her stomach. It had started when she had pulled him down in her room, on her little bed, to see if he could hear or feel her baby move. It had continued long after the baby had been given up for adoption. She had said his hair was nice to play with.

Stephanie paused, looking down on him.

“You really won’t do it with someone else? Just me?”

“Promise.”

She sighed and went to go. She stopped, blond hair swinging round her shoulders, and looked like she was going to say something else. She thought better of it, and gave a half-hearted wave.

“See you tomorrow.” She uttered, then she was gone.

Tim remained sat on the floor long after she left. He heard her car switch on and roll off, and he remained on the carpet. His mind was racing.

Bruce eventually found him. Out of costume, in a white t-shirt and black trousers, he sat on the loveseat by Tim.

Keeping his head down, Tim spoke.

“She said… she wanted the day to think about it.”

“Okay.”

Tim stared off, knowing Bruce was waiting for him to ask the burning question.

“Why us?”

Tim heard the frame of the seat creak as Bruce shifted. Neither man was looking at the other.

“As I said. I trust you two will do a good job.”

“And no-one else.”

“You work well together.”

“Do we?”

“Tim…”

“She said that she was afraid of how people would react. Poor girl and a rich boy get hitched quickly and all that.”

Bruce’s response was firm and immediate. “I won’t let people think of her that way.”

Tim tilted his head to look at his father, comforted by the protective nature in his tone. “That’s what I said. She didn’t believe me.”

“Hnn.” Bruce placed a hand on Tim’s shoulder, and squeezed reassuringly. “She’ll help. She won’t turn away from people in need. I’ll leave you to deal with the… nitty gritty of it all.”

He got up to leave, allowing Tim to brood alone on the floor.

“Bruce?”

Bruce turned, looking at him expectantly. Tim swallowed.

“You honestly think we work well together?”

Bruce chewed his tongue, thinking of how best to respond. “I remember, how happy you made each other, and I trust her with you. You’ll both do well in this.”

And that was all. Tim stared at the now empty doorframe, unsure of what to make of Bruce’s statement. His fingers twitched, craving the warmth of Stephanie’s grip once more.

He couldn’t decide if he was being selfish or not for wanting her to agree to such a silly idea. A silly idea that could save several people down the line. Maybe. Or maybe he just wanted an excuse to spend time with her outside of the costume. Only if she wanted it though. He wasn’t that cruel. Falling forward to the floor, butt up in the air, Tim grumbled to himself about how lovesick he was.

Stephanie meanwhile had to pull over halfway home, so emotional that she needed to catch her breath.

This was what was going to bring Tim and her together once more? Another lie?

She couldn’t bare it. To have to pretend to be happy and in love when really what she would be was miserable. But still in love.

She’d never stopped. She still craved his eyes on her (and only her), to hear him say how proud he was.

No.

No, she was past that. That was the point. The point of Batgirl, the point of returning to Gotham.

She rubbed aggressively at her eyes, sat on the layby of the road, and called her mother, unable to wait until she reached home. She put on the speaker, and set the phone on the dashboard.

Her mother had the next three days off, so with some luck she would catch her.

“Hiya Stephie.” She answered. “All good?”

“Yeah. Just driving back.”

“Then why’d you call?”

“I… mom… I’ve been asked to do something. For work.” She clarified. Her mother would understand. “And I’m not sure I should.”

“Why?”

Something in Stephanie snapped, and three years of grief came pouring out. Her mother listened, saying nothing. Stephanie knew that her mother was wary of Tim, of Batgirl, of the whole thing, but she was also the one who could give a somewhat neutral response. As she ranted, Stephanie grew more distressed. She knew from the outside she must have looked like a mad woman, arms flailing and legs kicking. As she drew to a close, Stephanie rested her forehead on the wheel of her car.

“...But I want to help people. And I want to be with him. And I don’t know if that makes me weak.”

“It makes you lovesick.”

Her mother’s tone was soft, sad, and empathetic. Stephanie didn’t know which emotion was comforting and which was upsetting. She sniffed loudly, pressing the heel of the palms of her hands so tightly to her eyes that she saw stars. Crystal was silent, letting her daughter think her rant through. A minute passed, and Stephanie lowered her hands from her eyes, feelings slowly clicking into place.

“Thanks mom.”

“You made your mind up?”

“Yeah.”

Turning her engine back on, she picked up the phone once more. “Gonna be a bit longer until I get back. We need anything from the shops?”

“Another two cartons of milk wouldn’t hurt.”

“’Kay.” She buckled her seatbelt on. “Love you. Bye.”

“Love you too, Stephie. Glutton for punishment that you are.”

Stephanie laughed, then hung up. The smile quickly faded, and she stared at her home screen. Closing her eyes, taking a breath, and flicking her indicator on, she got back on the main road, looking for a place to do a u-turn.

Alfred opened the door to find Stephanie hopping up the steps to the front door, having let her back through the front gates. She smiled bashfully at the butler.

“I’ll inform Master Bruce that you’ve returned.” He said, ushering her inside.

“And Tim?”

“Of course. Make your way to the kitchen, Miss Stephanie. There are some baked goods cooling. You can take some home for you and your mother.”

She smiled. “Thank you, Alfred.”

She perched herself on one of the breakfast bar stools, staring at the banana muffins on the cooling rack. They smelled very good.

Tim arrived first, Bruce following behind. Both men looked expectant.

There was a brief pause as Stephanie collected her words.

“I’ll do it.” Bruce nodded, and Tim, betraying himself utterly, smiled broadly. It made something in her gut jerk, and she continued despite herself. “Only to help you solve the case. You promise to protect me from bad press?”

Bruce’s eyes tightened. “We’ll need a lot of publicity to ensure we capture their attention.”

“Good publicity.”

“Yes.” Stephanie’s eyes flittered to Tim as he moved closer to her, only partially listening to Bruce. “You’ll both have the family clout behind you. Use it.”

“Fine.” She nodded one last time. Tim opened his mouth to say something, but Stephanie turned away to grab one of Alfred’s muffins. Sensing the mood of the room, Bruce left, passing ownership of the task to the two young adults.

Tim moved closer than she would have preferred, close enough to feel his warm breath move her hair, but she still couldn’t look him in the eye.

“Stephanie…”

Taking a large bite, she inspected the granite worktops, finding the little silver glimmers fascinating. Tim saw she was going to be unresponsive. Hating himself a little, he began to dictate their plan going forward.

“We’ll go on a few dates first. People have seen you, me and Cassandra hanging out, so it won’t be a total shock. When do you next have a spare afternoon?”

She bristled at being told what to do in the manner Tim had slipped into, but she answered quietly.

“Thursday.”

“I’ll pick you up from campus. We’ll go to Robinson Park.” Colour rose to Tim’s cheeks as he got lost in his own head. Stephanie continued not to look at him, finding Alfred’s baking less upsetting. He was looking at her longingly. She knew that look well enough that she could sense it on him.

“Sounds good.” She said around a mouthful of muffin.

“You still want me to teach you how to ride my skateboard?”

That got her to look at him. She shook her head, trying not to give in to his puppy dog eyes.

“Tim, not like that. Not with everyone watching.”

This is what she had been dreading. Things she wanted, things she craved, but built on a foundation of lies. She and Tim weren’t going on a real date, so why should she do something she wanted for real? She was fine with lying, she did it every day of her life, but not for this. Not when half-truths were thrown in with Tim.

Tim seemed confused. “You said it just the other day. This is a good as reason as any.” He pushed his way closer into her personal space. Frustratingly, she wasn’t unnerved by it. “Steph… It gets easier. Those guys being around taking photos... Bruce has so much hold over them they don’t come near any of us.”

“Frightened of the big bad bat?”

“More like the billionaire with a big pocket for legal fees.” Tim snorted. “Honest. You’ll forget they’re there.” His tone turned a bit more serious, a bit more somber. “I know the whole thing is…less than ideal. So, let’s try and have some fun, yeah?”

Tim thought he knew that Steph knew that he still loved her. He’d said as much. But that was years ago. He’d also tried to kiss her. But that was also years ago.

Okay, so maybe being forced to get engaged and married wasn’t the best foundation to start a genuine courtship, but Tim could make it work.

So he smiled at her, and Stephanie smiled back. It was genuine.

He could make her happy.

“Okay.” She picked up two muffins to take home. “I’ll see you Thursday then.”

Tim’s smile widened as he watched her go. Mind racing, he twirled around in the kitchen, smacking his hands repeatedly off the counter.

“So… you’re going to tell her that you want to pursue a genuine relationship once this is all over or…?”

Dick’s voice drifted over from the doorway. He was leaning against the frame, one foot resting on his other ankle. His body language was casual, but his expression was deadly serious. Tim dismissed his concerns.

“Won’t need to. I will…show her that I am emotionally ready to get back in a relationship with her, and I know she still loves me so… by the end, the lie can be over, and she can ask me.”

“She has to ask you?”

Dick sounded so unapproving that Tim’s hackles rose. He walked around to the other side of the counter, further separating him from his elder brother.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because…” Tim shook his head, baffled. “Because I’m the one doing all the work.”

Dick tilted his head, frustrated with Tim. “Define ‘work’? Buying her a nice dinner counts as work?”

“No! But I… She’s frightened. I’ll prove she doesn’t need to be.”

Dick’s eyes tightened. Like Stephanie, he thought Tim was being awfully naïve. Tim grumbled to himself.

“Just… go do your space adventure. When you come back in two months… you’ll see. We’ll catch the bad guy, innocent people will be saved, the press will love Steph as much as I do, and we’ll be on our merry way to getting out all the bad air between us.”

“By…not talking about the bad air.”

“We’ll talk! She… she has to start it. ‘Cause I did all the talking in the past. It’s her turn now. That’s all.”

Dick chewed on the inside of his cheek. Tim picked up a muffin and threw it at his brother, unable to bear the condescension. “You have no room to judge. I’ve loved her for half my life. I’m not going to have a mission be another nail in the coffin.”

Dick caught the muffin, ripping the top off and inspecting the inside. He turned to go, knowing he would get nowhere with Tim. Once the boy had made his mind up, it took a plan exploding in his face to realise he’d done wrong.

“No,” Dick said, nibbling as he walked away. “You want a lie to be the kiss of life.”

Tim stood in the kitchen, his loneliness creeping up on him. Looking desperately around, he grabbed his own baked good, then rushed downstairs to take his car back to his apartment.

He could make this work.

[mikaa-exe]

Demon hunter au | Demon!Hyunjin x DemonHunter!Reader

Requested by @jung-snoopy-woo, thank you so much for your kind words ^^

•Gender neutral reader

•fluff uwu

•some swear words here and there

•might have some typos but I'll fix them asap if I find any

Ok

We don't want to brag here but

You kinda were the best demon hunter of your area

Those naughty creatures got nothing on you

You were always one step ahead

You've been doing this for so long that you already knew every trick they would use to mislead you, every action and almost every face and name -_-

And you could see that they were scared of you, even if they didn't show it

You're basically a whole badass reader damn!!

Let's give some context here

So there's been demons around since before you were born

They aren't the evil bloodthristy creatures that you normally find in books or movies

Well most of them aren't

Some of them kill and do that whole satan thing but the rest are chill most of the time

They're just a pain in the butt jesus

The demons love to be mischievous and play tricks on every one

They steal not because they need money or products but because they love chaos

They go to peoples houses just to mess with their closets and dishes

They eat your food before you can even finish cooking it

They even steal candies from children >:( those bastards

So it's your job to capture these creatures when they get too out of control

You're amazing but there is one specific demon that haunts your nightmares

Hwang Hyunjin -_-

This demon has been YOUR pain in the butt for almost 6 years now!!

The first time he appeared was in your bedroom, you were about to fall asleep when you felt your hair being pulled from behind you

Boy you were hella fast to jump from your bed and grab the closest thing to you in that moment, which was YOUR GUN- no I'm joking, it was a knife, you don't bring guns to bed, that's gross

You looked around but it was too dark to see anything so you sneackly walked to the switch and BAM

No one was there

The fuck

-_-

Now at this point you were positive it was a demon but why wasn't he showing itself or attacking you again? That's not common of them

-"Did you lose something?"

JESUSWTFISHAPPENINGBITCHIGOTAKNIFEANDIMNOTAFRAIDTOUSEIT

The voice behind you made you jump and hit your head in the light that hanged from the wall

Well ouch that was really unecessary

You looked up and--

Wow hello cutie

NOP

WHAT THE FUCK READER IT'S A DEMON AND IT JUST PULLED YOUR HAIR GET YOUR FEELINGS TOGETHER

The little shit had the audacy to l a u g h

Bitch

- "Aren't you supposed to be the best demon hunter here?"

You gave this little shit your scariest gaze

At least the scariest you could while sitting on the floor with your hair all over the place

-"WhY? dO yOu hAvE A pRoBlEm SiR?"

-"Mmh idk... Thought you'd be taller"

And just like that he desapeared, leaving you on the floor still trying to digest what the heck had happened here

So there you go, that's how you two met

From that day on he made sure to visit you almost everyday

He's the one who switches your socks right before you go out just to see you wearing mismatching socks like an idiot

He puts salt on your morning cereal and sugar on your lunch

He goes to school with you and just follows you everywhere

-"Is this what you chose to wear to school? Geez"

-"vxhdbxvvx can you not"

-"That girl is looking at you funny, you should spit on her"

-"WtF sPiT?!"

-"Omg the teacher asked you a question and you're taking this long to answer?"

-"Shut up I'm thinking!!!"

-"What if you stood up right now and started dancing the floss?"

-"Why would I do that?"

-"Why aren't you talking to me? :("

-"Hyunjin I am in class and I don't want to talk"

-"Why do you keep responding then?"

-"I'm about to punch you so hard--"

-"You can't, you're in class"

-"ARHHHHHH"

You would laugh at how ridiculous this situation was if it had nothing to do you with you

BUT IT HAD UFFF

You tried everything to get Hyunjin to leave you alone

Demon traps, boxes, holy water because why not

You tried violence once but the best you managed to do was throwing him some cookies

Guess what

You missed

And you waisted some perfectly good cookies :(

You're not a violent person in general bUT THIS BOY AHH

You even tried talking to him at one point about this whole situation but he was too busy drawing on your kitchen walls with tomato sauce

It was starting to get to you so you reported him to your superiors but they said they didn't have any complains about a demon named Hyunjin

So that means this idiot is only here to mess with you and you only

WHY CRUEL WORLD WHY

Ok

Let's be fair

He never seemed interested in actually hurting you or doing anything too mean

He just seemed to want your attention God knows why

So if you're stuck dealing with him might as well try and enjoy this situation

What do people usually say?

If you can't win, join them

Instead of yelling at him or throwing him your book collection for the third time you asked how his day went and even offered him some cookies

Let's just say he was s h o o k

He just stood there, mouth open and completly lost

JSHDJDBBDNSNVDKD

READER YOU BROKE HIM!!!

You?! Being nIcE to him?!

Is this a joke, where are the cameras?!

The only thing he managed to say was a shy "Good.." and a mumbled "no thanks"

O M G :o

The demon that's capable of spending the whole night talking about God knows what is out of words .. WOW!

The next day you found him repainting his old masterpiece on your kitchen wall but with mustard this time

You quietly walked up to him and replaced the mustard in his hand with a rug

-"I like this smell better"

HE WAS SO CONFUSED THE POOR THING!!

He looked down with the face of someone who was having an existential crisis and started cleaning your wall

You smiled at him and gave him a thumbs up to which he responded with a blink and a worried smile

SJBDJSMBDJE HELP

So yeah, from that day foward you tried being nice to him and understanding his needs and actions

And if we're being honest here

He wasn't all that bad when you got to know him better

Aparently the other demons didn't like him that much so he tried to find other ways to entertain himself

You thought maybe boddering you was his way of expressing himself??

He thought that was the only way he could get your attetion

So you tried teaching him how to help instead of being annoying

He still went to school with you but now he insisted to help by carrying some of your stuff

He was quieter during classes and even started answering some questions on a notebook that you offered him

Maybe it was out of boredom but you were so happy!!

He was learning and that was so good and adorable! ^w^

He asked for your help sometimes with the things he couldn't solve

And you thought he looked so cute when he would bite your pencil whenever a harder question came up

You two started doing homework together and he was getting so much better at each subject

You felt like a proud mother :')

He would now watch you while you cooked for you both and would occasionally ask some questions like why did you put that in there or why were you mixing the ingredients with a fork and not a spoon

So you tried teaching him how to cook

Let's just say he was a whole m e s s

So after hours of intense baking you ended up with a weird red mix and some mashed potatoes

Your kitchen was dirty, sticky, slippery and oN FIRE OMG!!!!!!

After a visit from the fire department Hyunjin promised he would be more careful and ask you before turning on anything

You also discovered he was a whole teddy bear

Omg this boy was so soft and cuddly

He's such a clingy demon but he was also kinda shy, specially at first

THE UWUs

THEY EXPLODED

He started by getting closer to you until your shoulders touched but if you looked at him with a questioning gaze he would immediately push you to the ground and run away with a evil laugh and some flushed cheeks

Whenever you had free time you two would do a movie marathon that always ended up with holding hands or falling asleep on each other

He once had the brilliant idea that you two should definitely watch a horror movie one night

He thought it would be the perfect opportunity to prove you how strong he was and how he could protect you

But it didn't go like he had hoped to

You two ended up a trembling mess of limbs, cuddled up to each other as Hyunjin whispered how bad of an idea that was and how it was all your fault

THIS BITCH I CAN'T-

Some days you would just arrive home totally exhausted and Hyunjin would make you some warm tea and cuddle you on the sofa until you fell asleep

He'd try to stay awake in case you wanted to move or go to your room but you were so warm and cozy that he was gone not even a minute after you

He'd also insist on doing your hair when you were going out

He loved it and he had a lot of fun so anytime he had the opportunity he would ask you to let him help

At first you ended up with a mess of braids and accessories that formed a weird nest on your head

BUT HYUNJIN LOOKED SO HAPPY WITH HIS PUPPY EYES AHH

You ended up going out like that

But he got better with time

Whenever you had to leave him alone at home you would write him a list of things for him to do and others that he shouldn't even attempt to

You arrived later and found your house a little messier than before and Hyunjin cleaning a weird green goo that mysteriously fell on the floor

Y o u r f l o o r

But you couldn't be mad at him now, specially because when Hyunjin saw you he tackled and trapped you in a big bear hug that immediately melted all your anger

How can someone be so cute Hwang Hyunjin wHAT IS HE DOING TO YOU

How dare he mess with your feelings this way

You two started opening up more and more to each other and BAM that's how you got your super demon best friend :D

His mischievous side wasn't all gone, he still pranked you once in a while but now you were sure it wasn't for the sake of being mean

And he made sure to compensate you with cuddles, an attempt of a meal or a gift made of things he found around the house

It so was weird

At first you couldn't handle him but now you two are inseparable!

It's unusual but you both make it work

Your own way ^^

[zebraslovescupcakestoo]

Awkward Encounters While Walking My Friend’s Dog

I was in my office and just finished my paper work for the day. It was a rare occasion that there's only a minority criminal activities and we didn't had any emergency calls yet so this is a very good day so far. Fortunately, my chief told me that I can take the rest of the day off after so I'll take this chance to relax a bit at home before the kids comes home from school by Sheba's turn.

That is until I saw someone at my door who rarely wore a navy blue jacket and I knew him well enough that he doesn't wear it without a good reason. “Sam, are you attempting to shop lift right in the station?” I asked him. He shushed me. “Hey! Are you done? Kit told me that you've don't have much today. We need to get out ASAP with you.” Did he said we and with me? Who is he talking for and... why does he looked a bit bigger with that jacket that he rarely used? Lawyers do have a three piece suits but Sam had his signature yellow sweatshirts on most days and doesn't take the coat parts unless he had to.

But then I heard am animal noise and some wiggling... then it made sense.

I have a friendly dog who likes to run around You may have seen us on our daily walk

Sam have brought his dog today! “Sam, why are you hiding Tia-” He hushed again. “Félix, just finish that sh!t and let's go. I don't wanna deal with any more pot-heads today!” He really doesn't liked being with people that he gets 'bad vibes' from. I know that he's hard to get along sometimes, but I know him well that he's a really nice guy and hopefully one day he can be a bit more nicer... “Alright, just let me report these and then 'we'll' head out. That poor girl needs air.”

We frequent the river and the parks around the town When I see someone I know she'll always let me stop and talk

When we exited the station without drawing suspicions, Sam finally let out his boarder collie, Tiara. She's a very friendly and beautiful dog. I'm also her favorite human next to Sam. It might come to a surprise that I'm a bit fond of dogs but not as much since as I'm more of a 'cat' person. For some reason since I can remember, dogs liked me, even the more ferocious ones like a guard dog.

She gets a little anxious when she sees another dog But with people, she's always been relaxed

“I hate it whenever I take her for walks, there's a bunch of idiots that wanted to see her.” Sam complained. “Then why couldn't you, I don't know, take a different route?” I might not relate cause I never had dogs in my life. “Félix, I already tried it three times, I can get lost in the Amazon jungle and there's still people that wanted to talk to my dog. She's a beauty but she's not exactly that one with white gloves and worked in Disneyland.” He sighed. I know it wasn't his or Tiara's fault that people liked her, but I do understand that being in the center of attention can be daunting.

But she's not very discerning when it comes to choosing friends And there seems to be a certain type of people she attracts

“Let's stop at the local supermarket before we stop at my house. It's my turn to make dinner and I was thinking making macaronis. Would you like to join us for dinner tonight?” I'm not a five star chef but I can do more than just slapping PB and J sandwiches. It was usually Sam who covered our coffee  most of the times so I thought that this would be a nice gesture in return. “Yeah, sure, at least your cousin is out of town at the moment.”

“Why?” I asked confused. “Same reason why there's less branches in your backyard.” Ohhhhhh... Alex and Sam 'helped' to get a ball back a few days ago before he had to leave a while for 'business' reasons.

Translation: Alex refused at Sam's idea because he himself is more capable climbing trees and getting the ball than him. He pulled the tourist rule about not allowed to 'work' so Sam decided to 'reason and negotiate.' By throwing him up in the tree and then tells him off with his lawyer degree skills and the loop hole in that rule.

All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

We walked for quite some time and like Sam described, some people were attracted to her. If this was a dog show, she'll be winning first prize for sure. Sam was beginning to get a bit grumpier as soon as there's a few people that walked up to Tiara. “OMG! Is that your dog?” “Awww! Hey there!” “Who's a good doggie?”

They ask me lots of questions and offer their affections and I feel obliged to uncomfortably stay

I would feel a bit sad for him cause he has to deal with this, but I took that back when I looked up to him as saw that he was 'flipping' them off with both hands.

Their behavior may be crude but to ignore them would be rude and my mother didn't bring me up that way

“I found out that I could do this for a good amount of period and they still wouldn't notice it. How hilarious is that?” Sam smirked but I had to scold him and make him stop before they noticed it. All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

After they had their attention and noticed Sam's response, I had to scold him. “Sam! You can't put everybody on the hate list forever. Just because, and I know, there's bad people, there are also good people that really didn't meant any harm.” “ Félix, if I had to 'politely' accepted a salad dish recommendation and crap like a parrot for the next couple of days, you can at least let me steam off some 'pet peeves' or what I preferred to call some major psychotic f#king hatred.” I sighed deeply in frustration and rubbed my eyes. I swear sometimes that he must be related to Bendy like a long, lost elder brother. “Listen, I can hear your problems anytime over coffee if you promise not to do it again like that.” I offered so that way he's not gonna cause more damage. He shrugged but decided to agree. “Fine... Only because I trust you and when you're around.”

She's utterly oblivious to my concerns of their intent She runs to greet them with a wagging tail

Thankfully, the 'fans' soon resumed their ways without them noticing my friend's behavior. How can someone like him have a sweet dog like that? I decided to ask for real this time since I rarely ask about his past before he moved. “Hey Sam. I've never know how you got your dog since we've met. How did you got her?” I desperately search around for an easy exit point but the incoherent small talk starts before I have the chance to bail

He then told me the story. “Eh bien, Félix, it was when I returned back home from the war. After I reunited and returned with my twin brother, Simon, we both headed to our childhood home. Mind you, I didn't go back after that night he and my ex we're cheating on me at the time and before the war. That place was then passed on my brother since I didn't claim half of it. Which I didn't care for the old barn but anyways, I then soon found out that during those times I was 'missing,' they got married, had triplets which was a big surprise back home and what's more surprising but not that it's new by now, they look a lot like me at that age.” I can't argue with that cause I saw them in pictures and in persons at his birthday party. “I found they're really nice family. They are so-” “They're a bunch happy-jolly ranchers and I can only tolerate so much like my brother. They all drive me nuts but at least... they aren't bad.” He then said. I know that Sam's not much of an optimistic, but I do understand where he's coming from. “So apart from that, I did had a small apartment in the nearby town and build my career from law school. One day, they showed up on my rare days off and they gave me a puppy. She was from a litter in a neighboring farm and they wanted to give me a companion since I didn't have anyone and I was being 'cold' to almost anyone.”

My senses always tell me that I'm going to be mugged So I reach to get my wallet and my phone

“Well... maybe they wanted you to help you and wanted to give some affections? I get that sometimes from pets. I'm sure they really cared about you and wanted you to be happy.” “Félix, if I wanted some 'affectionate' companion at the time, I would have gone to a brothel.” I frowned a 'WTH' face at Mr. Sourpuss. But he then he got a gentle expression I occasionally see. “But... at least she's reducing my stress and well... comforts me.” I can imagine him sleeping and his dog snuggling in his bed. Most people wouldn't want dog hair in their beds but some would take the risk. He really is a nice guy deep down. I flinch as they utter unintelligible words And then sigh with relief when I detect a friendly tone

“Also, one of the best part is that she doesn't throw dishes at me when I called her mom's a bi-” “SAM!” Happy place is now temporary closed.

All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

We walked a bit more until we hit at a winery store. It seems like they're having some sort of a wine tasting stall outside of their store. I end up in a fug of fags and stale cider breath and I try to hide my obvious dismay

Like the previous group, they notice us and they went for the dog. How can a half drunken people be out like this at this time of the day?

She seems to be a breed that has a certain appeal to types whose diet consists of bark and boos for every meal

The owner had handed out cups of wine to both of us before he joined the others to have his turn petting the beautiful dog. Sam took mine and he dunked both cups into the drain. “White wine taste better anyways.” I would have 'remind' him again, but the dog's affections can distract people. Plus, I don't drink so he get a pass just this once.

All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

After a few minutes, we resumed and left those people with happy drinking. “Gee, Sam. Tiara is really is a special dog.” He laughs. “Ha! I had her for 5 years and you think I wouldn't noticed it? The kids loved her just as much.”  I agreed. We already had a cat until we lost her a few years ago. The twins barely remembered him cause they were little, but our cat was so cuddly to me and he had a fulfilling life. I was pretty sad when he died and I wasn't ready for another one since then. Not to mentioned that the twins were a bit too wild to take care for one, no matter how many times they brought up the subject and I had to remind them the responsibilities that comes with it. But at least they started to learn a bit once Tiara came into the picture. “At least it's a good experience for them. Maybe one day we can have a pet in our house once they've learned their lessons.”

I do my best to avoid certain areas of the park where the druggies and the rough teenagers dwell

We then stopped at the grocery store. Unfortunately, dogs aren't allowed. Sam then handed the leash to me “I'll go. You stay here with her. I don't want anybody so something to her like tying cans to her tail.” “But Sam, I'm the one who's in charge of-” “Where do most pasta stuff is shelved?” He reminded me. “...Top. The top shelves. I'll wait here.” I forgot that time we both got in there and it was one of those tall-short problems that got 'solved.' Sam was going to grab an item that was on the top shelves but I said I was going to grab it. That smart@ss agreed, picked me up and said 'OK, you can grab it.' Oh my Ra! That was so embarrassing! Sometimes, it was better to grab my twins than tagging with him.

I rarely venture out with her when it has gotten dark lest we catch the attention of some drunk may be well

I was enjoying some alone time and dazed for a few minutes. I rarely have this type of moments so I indulge myself to clear my head. Sadly, life doesn't go the way we planned when I saw a familiar bodyguard coming towards me. It was Boris Von Wolf. Bendy's right hand man and the second command in Alfonzo's mafia. I gritted my teeth. What is he doing here? I try to keep away when there are people hanging round the benches and the sitting walls and swings on the playground

He seems to noticed me and smirked. So of course, he walked up to me. “Well, well, well. If it isn't the 'ace' detective himself. He he! Taking the night off? Well, at least we'll be sleeping better for tonight.” I just glared at him. “I'm still not falling for your dirty tricks. You two and the rest of you scums can't fool everyone forever. One day you'll pay for what you've done for the innocents.” I spatted. He then cracked his knuckles. “Oh really? Are they ALL innocent to begin with? You're just as dumb as Bendy always said.”

Then suddenly as if out of nowhere they appear staggering hands out slurring:

He then reached out at me, or at the thought of the moment at least. I winced for impact until I heard:

“BAHHH, Who've we got here?”

I widen my eyes and turned my head next to me to see the big, bad wolf being a softie to Tiara. Oh yeah, I forgot to watch her from anyone who tried to harm her. For someone like him who detested 'good guys,' he sure has a huge soft spot for dogs. If that wasn't enough to convince you, does these words that came out of his mouth sounds like it? 'Who's a good doggie? Is it you? Is it you? Dawwwww!'

All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

Now this is a rare situation. It's not exactly threatening, but it isn't good either. I'm risking my friend's dog to the second most powerful man of the Chicago underworld who's infatuated with her friendly doggy charms. I was not trained for this kind of situation! As if it didn't got any worse, Sam came out of the store.

They greet me with a wink and they offer me a drink and I say thanks but it's too early in the day

He got stunned to see me and the other two. I mouthed 'I swear I didn't mean to!' He just waved and singed me to say 'I know what to do.' He then handed me the grocery bag and did a karate chop on the wolf's fedora. Hard. I choked.

Though they catch me unprepared, I've long stopped being scared I just find it hard to work out what to say

The sun hasn't set yet and they already started to light up the matched. Boris grumbled as he rubbed his head and fixed his hat. He glared up to see Sam. “Oh, what a nice, f#kng, surprise to see you here. I should have paid better attention.” He dusted himself off from invisible dust as he got up.

All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

Boris then got face to face and stared at Sam like it was some sort of contest. From my point of view, they're only about a head apart in height. On one side we have a football/boxing body builder type while the other was decently built but taller person. While one is close combat expert while the other is more technique planned. It's a bit of a competition in a brawl.

And then there's me with only a dog... whom she did nothing wrong.

All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

“I see that you're still working for pigeons, lamp post.” Boris 'greeted' “I see that you're still an ottoman for your bat brat, ya wolf skinned doormat.” Sam replied. Sam and Boris is like me and Bendy, we don't belong in the same room together. “You're just jealous that I don't have to work that hard to get anything I want such as money, love and power. There's nothing that you and the kid next to you can't compete with what we have.” Boris said. But Sam brushed it off. “I object, cause I found one thing that MY cat partner let me have that your 'cat' partner will never let you have.” He squinted his eyes. “Oh really? What is it, bird brain?”

Accessorized with diamond white and cans of special brew It's really very sweet in its own peculiar way

Sam then smug a big grin as he grabbed me and Tiara in both his arms, while he had both his hands free to 'flip' him off. “I get to keep my dog, B!!!!!!!!!!!!tch!”

Ok! Now we're gonna die, thank you Sam, you gave me a reason why I will die so young.

Though they may cause some alarm, they don't mean any harm They only want to come and have a play

I can see the shaking anger from Boris as if he's gonna go rampage. “Oh, by the way, I think that specific duck meat that only sells in here, you know, that one your cat person loved so much? I think I saw only one left. It would be ashamed if someone else grabs it before you do.” Sam suggested. That made Boris calm down a bit. “Dang! That's the only ones Bendy likes only for here! Fine, you win this time, but don't you think you'll get off easy next time. You're only lucky that it was today's special dinner. I bid you two losers an unpleasant day. ” He then entered the store.

All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

“Lucked out indeed. He can't beat me that easy and he knows it's bad luck to mess with a black cat, righty-o, Félix?” Sam teased. “You're old enough to know I don't say righty-o.”

Dad, if you're still watching me from above, what did I do to deserve a friend like him and where would I be without him?

----Author's notes-----

Haaaaaaaaaah! I'm lagging nowadays! I wanted to do stuff but I just MEH!

So at least One-shots are faster and better. So I did made a story with my personal OC fave with his dog. It's a boarder collie, so they're very eye catching.

The song inspired this was Awkward Encounters While Walking My Dog by Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq

There is also that Felix the cat catch phrase ‘Righty-o’ I bet that Felix really doesn’t like to do it for some reason. Which on the other hand, my OC was based on the fruit loops mascot with his catch phrase of ‘Just follow your nose!’ which I could see him doing that but added: cause I can smell bullsh!t with mine!

I know that Boris is loyal to Bendy and would do anything, but I bet that he wouldn't harm any dog unless it's threatening his buddy. Including police dogs if there are any in the main BBTIM AU.

So I hope that everyone is doing well so far during these times. I know that there is a lot going on including recent events these past few weeks, but I do wish everyone the best.

BBTIM humanized characters belong to @marini4 and OC humanized Sam Toucan is mine.

[awesome-timtams]

Avengers: Endgame Spoiler Review/Thoughts and shit

(if you want me to add more tags to this, just comment or something and I’ll get on it ASAP)

Alright, so I saw Avengers: Endgame this morning. I guess this is going to be a review of sorts? Mostly just me typing out all my thoughts. So yeah, review, theories (ish?) and other things amongst all that.

 I did this last year for Infinity War and it was a huge mess. I decided to actually properly capitalise my words this time so it’s a bit more readable lmao. I’ve sort of had all day (12 hours) to really think about this so hopefully it’s a bit more coherent than my last year’s mindless rambling? I’m already rambling. Welp ;-;

 MAJOR SPOILERS UNDERNEATH CUT!! DO NOT PRESS READ MORE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO READ MORE.

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Everybody who doesn’t want spoilers gone? This is your last chance.

  Ok, first things first, the movie is fucking amazing. There were so many instances where I cried, or laughed, or just really wanted to fucking scream because holy hell this movie was really intense. Honestly, I thought the humour managed to flow into the dramatic scenes really well. There was never a moment where I felt like a joke fell flat or came in at an inappropriate time.

 The feels. THE FEELS. The emotions. I can't. I was already sobbing by the time the first 20 minutes were over. A character appears on screen? Tears. Every single time there was a team shot? Tears. Somebody even opens their mouth to say something? Tears. But yeah, this movie made me an emotional wreck and I can't even.

 The movie starting off with Clint, and his family turning into dust? Expected, but still incredibly cruel, and still hurt a lot. Like, damn, I knew Endgame was going to be intense, but being reduced to tears in the first five minutes was incredibly unfair and just goddamned hurtful. Clint's dedication to his family was really sweet and I just garghhhhhhhhhh I loved it.

 So yeah. Character deaths. Natasha dying just about ruined my century, so thanks Marvel. I first started panicking when they said they were gonna get the stones, and Clint and Natasha were heading to Vormir. And then it kinda hit me that one of them was gonna have to sacrifice the other for the stone. And then the whole scene with Clint and Natasha trying to beat each other into throwing themselves off the cliff. Dumbasses. Why couldn't they both just live and nobody has to sacrifice anybody? And now I feel depressed again ;-; . On the other hand, I'm sort of happy that Natasha at least died feeling like she'd made amends for her past (she didn't have to she was already amazing :'(( ). Her character arc finished with her sacrifice and wow that's so depressing ;-;;; At least we get to see her in the Black Widow movie one last time? ;-;

 And Tony. I honestly didn't really think Marvel was going to go through with Tony's death tbh. I think it was probably one of the most depressing scenes I've had to witness with my own two eyes ever, and I definitely wasn't ready for it to happen. I fucking broke when Peter started crying and calling him 'Tony' because like, have we ever seen him refer to Tony as anything other than Mr Stark? I fucking lost it man. And Tony had Pepper, and he was married to her, and they had a little house by the lake, and a daughter (his daughter is so precious omg). And now he's dead and she'll grow up without her father I just fucking arGHHHHHHH. Honestly I just feel really attacked and hurt and this movie has ruined me. At least he got closure with his father. That was kinda a really sweet scene, and I cried at that too. I cried at fucking everything in this movie ;-;

 But yes, depressing scenes aside, can we just. Take a moment to talk about the final battle? Because that scene was absolutely splendid. I loved how every character got a couple seconds to themselves to just have a little hero moment, and how they did the whole girl power thing with the whole squad and they were so badass and I sort of teared up at that part too because they were all so amazing and I just love them so much and the only thing that would've made that scene better would be if Natasha had been with them but she can't because she's fucking dead oh my god.

 But when the portals opened up and all the characters stepped out of them. It looked fucking magical. I swear to God I had So Many Chills. It was just so fucking amazing to watch them all step out as one and yanno…”Avengers, Assemble!”. God bless them all. The audience lost their shit at this bit. Screaming and clapping and it was just absolutely breathtaking to see this scene. Like, there's just this energy, yanno? And the group shots. T’Challa leading his kingdom into the fight. Tony and Pepper’s really cute scene in their armour together. And, can we just take a break to talk about our fucking lord and saviour Steve Rogers? I love that boy so much holy shit. When Thor was about to die, and Mjolnir had flown in and hit Thanos, before flying off to the person who had thrown it. And it’s Steve Fucking Rogers, standing there holding Mjolnir? And he starts walking down the battlefield with his half broken shield in one hand and Mjolnir in the other? That was such a powerful image have I mentioned I fucking love Steve Rogers? But yeah, I love how they carried that on from AoU. But then that sort of begs the question: was Steve really able to lift Mjolnir in AoU but didn’t because he didn’t want to draw more attention to himself, or was he just not able to because he hadn’t reached peak worthiness yet?

 Also, the whole New York scene was just amazing, fucking hilarious and just amazing. Who knew that all we needed to make a sequence great was to have a 100% necessary focus on Steve's ass? Jokes aside, it was really nostalgic seeing the whole 2012 New York battle again. I especially loved how they let us see parts that actually weren't in the movie, like the whole 'Avengers running into Pierce' thing. And how HYDRA got their hands on the sceptre. Seeing Steve do the whole 'Hail Hydra' thing to blend in kinda gave me chills lol. And Steve's fight with 2012!Steve was also really amazingly done and I fucking loved that sequence. The whole "I can do this all da-" "yeah yeAH I kNow I knOOW" was fucking hilarious tbh. (And also: "That is America's ass…")

Also, can I say that Steve was just really done with everything in this movie lmao. He was a solid fucking mood honestly. (”Are you shitting me??” “...he’s a baby.” “-.-”) And then his scene with Bucky at the end oh my goddd. “Don’t do anything stupid.” “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” And honestly I sort of died right there...It’s also this moment I’m realising Bucky probably knew about Steve’s plans, because otherwise they wouldn’t have said goodbye like that if Steve was only going to be gone for a bit. And Bucky wasn’t panicked at all when Steve missed the jump back. So what, does that mean they planned for Steve to have his dramatic ass entrance back into the present by appearing besides the lake? Kind of a funny image lol. Anyway, I’ll stop talking about Steve lmao.

 Thor was fucking amazing in this movie tbh. His first scene in the future is hilarious, with the whole drunkard attitude and the beer gut and Korg playing fucking Fortnite Jesus Christ. His scene with Frigga in the movie also made me cry so much. It kinda made me realise he never really managed to get a proper goodbye with his mother before she died, yanno? And now he's finally getting it, and he can go on to the future with the knowledge that his mother is proud of him and believes he's a hero and afilajiopklgskl. Also, the pure joy when he finds out he's still worthy of Mjolnir? Such a sweet happy wholesome character despite all the losses he's gone through ;-; . Although, since he has decided to join the Guardians, does that mean he's going to be in Guardians of the Galaxy 3? And we know how there's been talk of a Thor 4 recently, right? It's probably just code for GOTG3 lol.

 And finally, Bruce Banner. It was really funny to see him emerge as a mix of himself and Hulk together, I'm not gonna lie. A lot of people in the audience started laughing when we saw the Hulk emerge in a sweater and jeans or whatever the hell he was wearing. But yeah, Bruce was great. When he volunteered himself to wield the Infinity Gauntlet v2.0? Legendary. But yeah, I honestly don't have much to say about Bruce honestly. Other than the fact that he dabbed at the beginning of the movie. Legendary. And when Scott spilled his tacos so Bruce offered him more with the purest smile on his face? I melted. Legendary.

 Anyway, miscellaneous thoughts time. I'm lowkey sort of kinda disappointed Nebula didn't get to kill Thanos? Like, I feel like, if anybody really deserved to kill that asshole, it was Nebula. She's suffered an entire life of torture and abuse from this dickhead, and has been manipulated by him so many times to do his dirty work. And how she still couldn't stop seeing him as a father figure in the end, despite all the terrible shit he's done to her? Actually, that's probably why she didn't get to kill him lol. And also, Sam Wilson is the new fucking Captain America bitches. I really fucking hoped that, if under any circumstances Steve had to give up his shield, it would go to Sam Wilson, because he fucking deserves it. Of course, I wouldn't have minded it going to Bucky, but my poor baby's already been through enough ;-; . Let him rest ;-; (but then, there's the whole Falcon and Winter Soldier show coming up fuck I'm so excited for it lmao).

 And also, Valkyrie. Is now. The new Queen of Asgard. I can't even. My baby girl deserves fucking everything :') She deserves the title of Queen so much and I'm so glad that's a new development. Hopefully we get to see more of her in the future and how she fares with the title of leader in Asgard :'D

 But yeah, I think that's about it for what I have on characters. So, moving on to theories and sort of plot holes I suppose?

 So, have we had any news on what the Loki show is going to focus on? I haven't really been paying enough attention to news on the shows tbh. But if nothing's been confirmed yet, I sort of have a theory. So we know how, when they're trying to get the Space Stone in New York, they fail and Loki gets away with the stone? I'm wondering if the TV show might potentially focus on what he does after he escapes New York with the stone. It's a possibility, I suppose.

 And now, finally, one of my biggest…annoyances (? I'm not sure this is the word I want to use but the only other word that's coming to mind is iffs which isn't even a real word so moving on) (edit: issues! I found the right word :D . The word I want to use is issues lol) with the movie is the last scene. 

Steggy is a fucking blessed ship, and I love them, don't get me wrong. The plane scene in TFA and the hospital scene in TWS never fail to reduce me to a big sobbing fucking baby. And I'm so fucking happy that they finally got the dance that's been promised to them for so many decades. But the whole thing just doesn't really make sense to me.

 So basically, in the earlier parts of the movie, Bruce has already stated that time travel does not work like how we've all been trained to understand from other parts of pop culture. It's not quite travelling to the past, as nothing they do there will affect their future. What I interpreted from that (and I could be wrong, but this is my understanding) is that when they travel to the past, they end up creating a separate branch of events and shit that diverges from the timeline of events that will lead to their present. It doesn't erase their present, but just sort of forms a permanent branch, you feel? So, Steve travelling back to the past in order to live his life with Peggy only to end up in their present again brought in a huge amount of plot holes.

 For Steve to have lived a life with Peggy and marry her, that would mean events would change drastically. I doubt they got married in secret, so people must've known 'Steve' was alive and OK. Would that mean the search for the past Steve that's still frozen in the Arctic stop, since they're all assuming he's alive? If that happens, that means the Tesseract would've never been found, and that would've led to a whole bunch of other events that would definitely not allow for grandpa Steve to join up again with the MCU's present timeline, as it would've brought him into a different branch instead.

 But, hypothetically, let's say Steve lives with Peggy in secret. They get married in secret, nobody knows he's still alive, they continue with the search, yadda yadda. Now, since Steve is from the future, he would know that SHIELD is being infiltrated by HYDRA, and that Bucky would still be alive and is currently being the Winter Soldier and doing assassin-y shit. And I really, really, highly doubt that Steve would just live a life with Peggy and not interrupt with any of this shit. It's just so against his nature to ignore all of this? So, let's say he does root out HYDRA. That would affect the future. TWS, and everything afterwards would've never happened. So it definitely wouldn't be possible for Steve to return to the MCU's current, present timeline if he lived out his life, as he would've been, once again, on a different, permanently separated branch.

 Let's say, hypothetically, he lived with Peggy in secret. Nobody knew he was alive. He knew HYDRA was growing inside SHIELD and didn't do anything. He knew his best friend was being tortured and brainwashed for decades and didn't do anything. Even then, him just living with Peggy and marrying her would've changed all the events and wouldn't have allowed him to just let his branch converge with the present MCU timeline without messing around with some serious science and shit (which is all highly unlikely tbh).

 So basically, what I'm trying to say is, the whole last scene is fucked and can't have happened without saying 'fuck-it-all' to the rules established in the movie. But yeah, that was just the one and only glaring issue to me I couldn't stop thinking about. But either way, I loved the way the movie ended with the Steggy scene. It was really beautiful and sweet and just everything we could've wanted for their dance :')) . It was also a really bittersweet sort of tone to end the film on? Absolutely gorgeous. 

(edit: wow OK so I made a whole separate post just for this scene because a couple days after I posted this, I realised my thoughts and feelings towards this scene had changed and I had a lot more to say about it. So. Yeah. Here it is.)

 But anyway. Shit. That's it. I've spent this whole past year thinking about this movie and waiting for it, and now that I've watched it and it's over, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. This whole day, I've been feeling incredibly empty honestly. I'm still not quite over Natasha and Tony, and I don't think I'll ever be (which, by the way. Marvel, I'll be sending you the bill for all the emotional trauma you've caused.) But this movie was a bloody masterpiece, and I fucking loved it. The trip down memory lane with the time travel was honestly so incredibly implemented. I was really worried when I realised time travel was going to be involved with this movie, because it introduces a device that can retcon everything and just basically takes away the emotional impact of every event that happens because you can just time travel. But the fact that they introduced the mechanic where you can't affect the past by travelling there does close that issue up. Well done. Very clever.

 But, yeah. Fuck. It's over. 11 years, and it went out with a bang. I honestly have no idea how Marvel is gonna top this for the next era. It seems almost impossible, honestly. I just really hope they do, because I would hate to have a franchise as amazing as the MCU end up fizzling out because their most impressive movie came years before the end and they end up never being able to top it. But these are probably just irrational worries.

 Anyway, final score. 14000605/1. Would definitely watch again. Just not immediately. I still haven't fully digested the movie, and I still feel really empty and full of emotions at the same time even though it's been more than 12 hours since I've seen the movie. So yeah. Imma wait a bit, and then I'll probs rewatch it.

 Anyway, rant over. Hope you enjoyed, I guess? I nearly burst into tears so many times trying to write this fucking thing. If you've seen the movie, feel free to DM me. I'm always up to chat with people lol. And if you haven't seen the movie, what the fuck are you doing reading this? Go watch the damned movie. Christ.

 I might end up making edits to this if I think up of more things to talk about. Or maybe I'll make a separate post. I'll probs make a separate post. But anyway. Farewell, y'all. Time to go hide under my blankets and cry until Far From Home comes out.

 (Also, this thing is 3069 words. Wow. Jesus Christ. If I put this amount of effort into my assignments, I’d be bringing in straight As. Oops.)

[leal-5]

Tomb of of Time Destiny: Chapter 13

Juvia POV

Traffic on the road increased as we got closer to the town- wagons on carved wooden wheels, chickens in twig cages, small boys driving tired milk cows- but it was the towns high, red walls that captured my attention. The town looked pristine, clean, and grand. I gawked at the many towers, careful not to lean too much on my bruised thigh as I leaned back slightly.

We rode forward, ignoring the pigs and goats that were nearly trampled in our wake, as well as their irate keepers. ‘Sorry!’ I winced slightly. The people divided before us, as if they knew that we came from Fairy Tail, and on we climbed, curving up the cobblestone street.

If Lucy and Levy are here, they’re most likely in the middle of town. My heart surged with hope and excitement. It took everything in me to maintain my place in line and submit to the dull, clopping rhythm of our train. Erza looked just as anxious to race past the others and search for them.

‘What if they’re there, now? Giving up on us? Wandering off, deciding to try somewhere else?’ I shake my head to clear any negative thoughts from it. ‘No! Juvia must have hope! Stay there, Lu and Lev. If you’re here, stay there.’

“Oi, what’s wrong?” Gajeel asked, peering down at me.

“Juvia is just eager to get to the middle of town,” I said.

“Oh, we can go after we greet Ava's family,” Natsu said. “We’ll go right after.”

Erza and I looked at him in horror. “No, you don’t understand. We need to know right away if they’re there, waiting us.”

They studied us closely. “And what if they’re not?”

Not there? If they weren’t here, where could they be? I wasn’t ready to deal with the idea that they hadn’t made the jump at all. To think we were all alone here, with only each other to help figure out a way back. Natsu lets out a high pitched whistle and makes a circle motion with his finger. Gray and Jellal look at us then back to them and nod. Natsu turned back towards us and grinned. "Shall we go?"

We nod gratefully and I begin to check out every blonde I saw while simultaneously keeping an eye out for a small bluenette, but I seemed to be the only bluenette here, given how people openly stopped and gawked at my blue hair and Erza’s fiery red hair. We ignored the hushed whispers and the occasional ‘Witch..’ comment that slipped from the crowds and continued to search among the people, but all the blondes in the town were dull compared to Lucy’s bright gold-like hair. Erza placed a comforting hand on my shoulder when it  began to slump slightly.

“Don’t lose hope Juvs,” Erza whispered in english. “Maybe they’re on their way to the middle of town now, on this very street.” I nodded and sat up straighter.

##########

“Drink,” Gajeel demanded me, brooking no argument.

I blinked at him and the cup he was holding for a moment before taking it from his grasp. Tears begin to fill my eyes and my shoulders shake slightly as I swirl the cups contents absentmindedly while staring down at it. We didn’t find them in the middle of town. We searched and asked around, but no one has seen anyone that matched either of their descriptions. I grip the cup tightly in an attempt to compose myself. Erza places her hand gently over mine and squeezes it.

‘Juvia is not alone. Juvia must have hope!’  Taking a deep breath I drink the water in one gulp and lean my head back on the wall behind me.

“I take it, you didn’t find them?” Natsu said while approaching.

I shook my head. “Juvia thought for a moment she saw someone that resembled Lucy in hair and stature but it was not her. Lucy is far more beautiful than that woman I saw.”

Natsu’s green eyes widened with wonder. “I will help you all the more in your mission to find them!” he declared loudly.

Erza and I giggled nervously at his antics. I had no doubt Natsu would fall in love with Lucy, we weren’t kidding when we said she was pretty. We were more worried about her accidentally breaking his poor heart when we leave! Or, heaven forbid, he might even ask for her hand in marriage! Lucy would absolutely freak out. They did seem to wed pretty young in this dimensions age. We need to get back to the tomb with Lucy and Levy ASAP. It was our only logical way back home. But our last two encounters in the woods told we couldn’t get there alone, sword or not. We needed an escort. And that would take some serious finagling.

“Come on,” Gajeel gruffed. “We’ve delayed your introductions long enough.”

I sigh and stand up following close behind them as they lead us up a flight of stairs, to a grand salon that took up the entire length of the building on this level. Gray, Ava, Jellal, and Carmen were sitting beside a small, gray-haired man who sat in a throne-like chair, telling him tales of our journey. He frowned in fear and then clapped in glory when he heard of his daughter’s climb to safety. Ava looked up then, and caught sight of us.

“And these, these, Father, are the heroic woman who came to our rescue.” Ava rushed over to me and dragged me to him, Carmen doing the same to Erza. I felt like a giraffe next to her, being inspected by a new zookeeper. “They pulled swords from their saddles and wielded them like fierce warriors!”

He studied us, then rose and took my hand. He looked up at me. “I am indebted to you,” he said. He bent and kissed my hand, then he turned and did the same to Erza. Erza and I blushed heavily in embarrassment and struggled to respond. “My daughter tells me you have become separated from your family,” he continues. “In gratitude to you, my sole goal will be to see you reunited.”

“Thank you,” Erza said sincerely, speaking for the both of us. I was too busy trying not to cry, he was being so kind and genuine it brought tears to my eyes.

“You are exhausted. The day has clearly tired you. Someone will see you to your room, and we will speak more of it this evening, or if you prefer, tomorrow. Good?”

“Thank you,” I manage to say. Ava bent to speak in a servant’s ear, and the woman came over to me. “Come, Miss. I'll see you two to your quarters.”

We followed behind her, Erza helped me limp up the stairs, rejecting the servants offer to help. At the top, the woman pulled a ring of keys from her belt and unlocked the first along the hallway. I peered down it there appeared to be about eleven more. She opened it and gestured inward. “Please.”

I limped forward and went directly to the window of the narrow room. There two beds, a chair, a table, and this, the window, overlooking the town. I pushed open the shutter and looked down on the well. People swirled about it, but no blondes or tiny bluenettes among them.

##########

We awakened to maids knocking on our door.

“We are here to assist you with your baths.” They said. My eyes widen and Erza and I looked at each other nervously. 'Juvia is perfectly capable of bathing herself…’ But even now I could feel the dirt and grime from our trip and we were more than eager to wash it off asap, and something told me that arguing with these maids would only bring unwanted attention to us, so we followed them.

########

“Um… Erza?” I said. “What is that?” I point to the two beautiful dresses laying on our beds.

We stood there gaping for a moment before slowly approaching what I could only equate with a wedding gown. Except, the one on Erza's bed was an elegant green dress and the one on my bed was light purple. It seemed to be endless too! It just kept coming, yards and yards of fabric.

Too scared to actually touch it, I step back to marvel at it some more. It looked like the finest silk I had ever seen. But the waist was so narrow I wondered if we would even be able to get into it. Dimly, I remembered one of the servants saying something about how Erza's dress had been meant for Simon’s nuptials and that my dress had once belonged to Grays mother.

Erza turned to me, her eyes asking "Can we really wear that? I mean, they don't really symbolize the best of things..."

I was silent for a moment. "Does it matter? We have nothing else to wear to a ball and Juvia is certain they won't allow you to waltz in there in all your armored glory..."

'Besides, these dresses are so gorgeous it would hurt not to wear them.' I thought while placing a careful finger over it. Erza sighed and said. “Guess we better start working on the ten-mile run that will allow us to sweat off enough weight to wear it tomorrow.”

I eyed the narrow hourglass of a bodice and shuddered. I wasn’t going to be able to breathe all night, let alone dance. Suddenly, I wished Gray's mother had been a large matron instead, given to tent dresses rather than tight-fitting gowns designed to draw the eye of every man in the room. I shook my head in wonder. “She must have been amazing… Juvia wishes she could have met her.”

A knock sounded at our door, causing me to jump. “Just a moment!” Erza called as we quickly put on our regular clothes.

Natsu stood there, a crooked grin on his lips. “You’ve been cooped up in this room all day!

Lets go!” he said, lifting his hand. “You can see the entire town well where I’ll take you. Also, I do believe we owe you a lesson in dancing.”

Gajeel grumbled something under his breath.

I lifted my brows. I mean, I know I asked, but I didn't think he'd actually pull through!

“Come, come,” Gajeel said in annoyance, flicking his fingers, sensing my hesitation. “I want this hour done with already. I already found someplace private where we can practice.”

I studied him a moment before grinning widely. It was far better to suffer embarrassment with him, someplace private, rather than in the middle of a ballroom floor.

Erza POV

They lead us up a narrow stair, then another, and still another, until Gajeel pulled Juvia into a large empty ballroom and Natsu lead me up another flight of stairs that lead to the rooftop. I turned, full-circle, in wonder at the view. Past the towers and the town wall, I could see miles of green rolling hills. “It is marvelous,” I said.

“Ehh, it's alright,” he grinned. He closed the door and then turned to stare at me, crossing his arms. “So, how much dance do you actually know?”

“Umm.. None?”

“Hmm. Okay then! I enjoy a challenge.” Natsu stepped forward, determined. He placed my right hand on his shoulder and grabbed my left hand.

“Okay, first bring your feet together and then step forward with left foot. Yes, like that! Now, step to right side with right foot and bring feet together again. Mmhm! Now step backwards with right foot and step to left side with left foot. Bring your feet together again aaaand let's take it from the top!”

I nodded and moved into his arms. We made it through the first three counts, and then I missed the step. He released me and then looked at me, his eyes slightly narrowed, as if exasperated, as if we had gone through it a hundred times.

“That was once! How many times were you taught?”

He cocked a brow, apparently reluctant to give me room to fail. He flicked his fingers forward. “Let’s give it another try,” he said tiredly, acting as though we’d been at it all night. “This time, close your eyes. Think only of the rhythm.”

I sighed, trying to get above my frustration. I closed my eyes and listened to the beat of the dance, along with his counting, feeling the shifts, the pause at the end, then resuming. “Good, good,” he encouraged.

On and on he went. “Ahh, yes. That is it. Perfect!” he said.

I couldn’t fight the smile forming on my face. “I’m going to release you for a moment, but keep going, as if someone else is taking my place.”

His hands left me, but then slid back in place, at my waist, but wrapping a bit more behind my back this time, as if a tiny bit more possessive.

My eyes fluttered open and encountered Jellal.

I stopped, glancing at Natsu, his profile aglow in the setting sun. He shrugged “He wanted to brush up on his dancing skills.” I looked up to Jellal and stared hard into his eyes. “He wanted to brush up on his dancing skills with sword-carrying girl with a thing for running off?” I asked.

“Tonight that is my wish,” he said, his voice strangely husky, his eyes unwavering. He began to count off the dance again, and I, apparently devoid of will, followed it.

“Has Natsu taught you this one?” he asked, raising both hands to me, palm up.

I frowned and shook my head, then glanced toward Natsu. He was gone. I sighed. I was alone with Jellal, receiving a dance lesson. This was a disaster waiting to happen. I could do nothing but place my hands in his.

“This is an eight-count dance,” he said, staring down at me with all earnestness.

He dropped my hands and counted it out, as if I were in his arms, closing his eyes, turning at the fifth count, and again at the seventh.

“Tricky,” I said, raising a brow.

“The key is following your partner’s lead,” he said, a teasing glint in his eyes. He cocked his head. “Tell me Erza, can a woman who can wield a sword find her place on the dance floor?”

“I think they’re very similar,” I said, moving toward him, placing my hands in his. “Swordplay is a dance of sorts, except that in a fight, one must take the unexpected step. In dance it is all about taking the right, expected step.”

He began counting the dance, turning me at count five and seven. I moved with him, without hesitation, and the eighth count found my left hand in his, at chest level, and my right hand above my head, facing him. Our mouths were inches away from each other. “I believe you have this mastered, Erza,” he said, still not releasing me, still staring into my eyes.

“I believe you have taught me well,” I returned, staring steadily back at him, my heart pounding in my chest so hard I swear he could hear it. We continue to stare at each other. My eyes widen as I realized the small space between us was becoming even smaller. Until.....until...

I suddenly turned away when thoughts began to cascade through my mind. Whatever I thought was happening here, could not.

It could cost a great deal. For me. For him. For Fairy Tail.

“Erza?” he asked. “Erza,” he said, dropping his tone, in such an enticing manner, I nearly turned.

“You need to go, Jellal,” I said. “Leave. Juvia and I…. We only represent danger for you. Loss. All you need is below us, in this house.”

Jellal was silent for a moment, before quietly responding. “How can you be so certain? Maybe there is something else for me. Something no one even saw coming?”

My heart pounded in my chest even more. He was speaking of me. I drew in a shaky breath. What could I promise him? A girl who would disappear into the future? No, it wasn’t fair….

Gathering my courage, and bracing myself for a life full of regret I speak.

“Jellal, I have a fiance…”

A/N: HAHAHAHAHAHA I'M SORRY I JUST HAD TO!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! OK ON THE THE REAL THING:

I looked back to give him a pretty speech, some small comfort, but he was already gone through the gaping door.

I stared for a long time at that empty doorway, recognizing that I had killed any chance to be with the hottest guy I had ever run across. But it was for a good reason, a solid reason. I was being responsible.

I tried to swallow the regret that filled my throat, tried to feel assured, courageous. But I couldn’t even manage that.

My mouth was dry.

And my heart was empty.

[prydon]

a ( VERY LONG) long island geek rundown

aka me just rambling on about paul for paragraphs upon paragraphs, complete with pictures.

so i went to the con with the lovely @haiileyrutledge aka maggie who drove me all the way there from the philly bus station (god bless), it was our first time meeting in person and i still can’t really believe we did this just a few months after we were just kinda joking about going together on twitter when we hardly knew each other

literally the first second we walked into the con, before we’d even gotten our badges, paul mcgann was sitting RIGHT THERE at his autograph table and i may or may not have started aggressively hitting maggie in the shoulder and freaking out and hissing “he’s there, HE’S THERE” and she had to drag me past him so we could get our badges

then we sat in on the panel before his to make sure we got good seats for his. it was a panel with wendy padbury and frazer hines and they were adorable!! by the end of their panel we were literally buzzing tho bc we knew what was next

when paul came in the first thing he did was squint up at the ceiling and complain about the brightness of the lights, like “oh this is quite harsh isn’t it” so they turned them down for him, much to maggie’s chagrin bc she’s a photographer and it made it very hard to take nice photos (look forward to her uploading her photos btw, she got some GREAT shots regardless of lighting)

then we all sang happy birthday to paul, per the interviewer’s instructions! it was v cute. someone uploaded a video of it on youtube. (i took one too, but it was much worse quality)

first question the interviewer asked was what the secret to paul’s eternal youth was, which paul took a SUSPICIOUSLY long time thinking about before finally just claiming it was his insomnia. how not sleeping is supposed to make you look better i have no idea, but it’s clearly not hurting paul’s appearance, despite him “not having slept since the nineties” (his words)

and so on went the panel. it was quite fun, and though i’d heard almost all the anecdotes paul told before, they weren’t ones he’d told a million times and the interviewer asked interesting questions about his brothers and some of his earlier roles.

he also asked him about holby- the most recent episode, even- which i was not expecting lol. he asked paul if gaskell was really dead, and paul was just like “lol it’s a soap, who knows what could happen” and joked about another soap character whose death had turned out to be a dream. 

also of note is that paul never called gaskell by name once and exclusively referred to him as “doctor death” lmaooo. i actually know why this is- he mentioned on a radio show a week or so ago that a holby city fan yelled “doctor death!” at him in the street once- but he didn’t....explain this background to the panel audience, so i’m sure many were baffled by it :”D the interviewer was like “so your most recent role, professor john gaskell-” and paul was literally like “ah, yes. doctor death!” asoifjsaij what a dork

^ this pic is actually from the sunday panel but god, actual dork with a heart of gold paul mcgann being juxtaposed next to menacing shots of “doctor death” was never not hilarious 

speaking of holby, I GOT TO ASK HIM A QUESTION DURING THE Q & A, and i asked him what it was like working with guy henry! he said working with old friends is tough bc they know all your acting tricks lol. he went on gently roast guy and say he’s looked like he was 40 since they were at rada and that one of their professors told guy that he was the kind of person who wouldn’t find real success until he WAS like 40 bc he just had one of those faces, and lo and behold, that was case. notably, paul said all of this while holding eye contact with me since it was my question, and i was literally trembling by the end of his response bc i can barely hold eye contact with my family members let along PAUL JOHN MCGANN

he also said “fuck” at one point. at another he pulled the cap off his water bottle with his teeth and maggie and i were both like...*sweating*

after that we got our photo ops! then managed to get some food in us, and then i went to get paul’s autograph and give him his bday gift, which i already detailed here [x] so i won’t get into that. notably he also called maggie photogenic and said their photo op looked like a housewarming photo of a couple just moving in. we were both dying afterwards.

theeeen that evening i attended a dinner party for fans with vip passes that the stars also attended! the food was v yummy. there was ice cream too.

unfortunately i didn’t end up at paul’s table, but i was at the table next to him so i may have eavesdropped. my table had jon davey, who plays cybermen and daleks and ood etc, and who was very funny and decidedly attractive, and who at one point pulled out his phone and showed me this video while nearly dying of laughter over it

paul was actually late to the dinner because he crashed a painting panel!!

^ here’s him painting his tardis picture with his dorky ass reading glasses on. what an old man. i love him

he did show up eventually, and ended up drinking a decent amount of red wine and i’m pretty sure got tipsy and at one point misheard the person next to him as saying “penis hands” and was like “penis hands???? PENIS HANDS???”

all my table ended up leaving early but paul’s all stayed hanging on his every word bc that’s the effect he has on people :’)) so i ended up scooting over there just to listen. at one point his assistant came over and whispered to me that paul HAD gotten the letter i gave him with his gift and he WOULD read it tonight and i was like “omg no it’s ok, i didn’t need him to reply asap or anything, i just wanted him to have it!!”

i left the dinner when paul left- his table were the last ones out- and maggie was outside the dinner waiting for me and may have collapsed into a fit of giggles when she saw paul. then we went to our airbnb and fuckin CRASHED because we were so damn exhausted

on to SUNDAY

i started placing bets on what paul would be wearing that day on sunday morning, since i know he only has like three different con outfits that he wears. lo and behold we get to the con and he’s wearing THE EXACT SAME CLOTHES AS SATURDAY. like, down to the scarf and shoes. they were 100% the same.

idk why he was, but he must have washed them, or he must be an ethereal being incapable of sweating because he was just as nice and fresh as the previous day [shrug]

we wandered around the dealer’s room for a bit, maggie bought a vinyl from a charity sale booth and i bought a couple dwms with bb eight on them bc why not

my lovely internet friends and fellow paul superfans @savageinkspillage and @paulmcgannlesbian both paid me to buy them autographs, and i was happy to oblige because it meant i got to talk to paul again

i went up to his booth and he said “good to see you again!!” and told me he was so touched by the birthday card :”0 and thanked me again for the drawing!

i told him what names to sign to for the autographs and there was an incredible moment where i told him to address one to “brittany” and his brain like. short-circuited and he tried to spell it out to me except he spelled it some ridiculous white mom way like “B-R-I-T-N-I-Y” or something and i just stared at him for a moment not sure if he was fucking with me before being like “.....no?”

once i told him “two t’s” he got it and said “like the place!!” and asked me if i knew where brittany was in a stern teacher voice and i was p sure it was france but not 100% so i was just like “d-don’t quiz me”

he also let me take pictures of him holding the autographs that i could send to my friends, which was very sweet!! here’s him with @savageinkspillage‘s.

he was very determined that we let them dry before taking them because he didn’t want them to be smudged, and blew gently on them himself like a dork.

before we could go, he also fully just was like “give me a hug” and got up and hugged me AGAIN. THREE PAUL MCGANN HUGS IN ONE WEEKEND. T H R E E.

then after he hugged me he noticed the bowie vinyl that maggie had just bought in the dealer’s room and was like “!!!!!! is that a vinyl!!!! can i see!!!”

maggie was like “of course” and handed it over and he was FAWNING over the thing and promptly informed us that it was definitely an original print bc it was made of a special sort of material only used to make records in the 70s, and that it had never been played. maggie said she got it for $10 and he was like “TEN BUCKS??”

he also sniffed it because apparently “that’s what you did with vinyls” and took it out of its sleeve (with maggie’s permission) and freakin’ messed with it to show us how bendy the materal was before giving it back to maggie and emphatically telling her to “treasure that”.

he asked us where we got it and i said it was at a table in the dealer’s room, next to where they were keeping his painting from the night before. upon hearing about the painting he was immediately like “noooo don’t remind me of that!! i’m so ashamed!!” and i was like “WTH PAUL NO IT WAS SO GOOD”

here’s paul’s painting!! it’s lovely!!

also at one point maggie’s hoop earring fell out and full on, like, made a break for paul mcgann and rolled behind his chair. she was embarrassed but he just picked it up and messed with it, feigning putting it on his ear and saying he wished he was a girl so he could wear earrings like that and i was like “you should get your ears pierced!” because he SHOULD. he just laughed.

we literally had a whole, like, probably 10 minute conversation with him and he was just so lovely and funny and warm and thanked me one last time for the drawing before we walked away soasifjsaoifj 

THEN it was time for his sunday panel!! it was a great change of pace from usual panels, it was called “doctor’s orders” and run by a podcaster who’d based it on advice columns- basically, he asks paul a bunch of questions looking for advice that he’d gathered from fans and paul had to impart his wisdom.

here are just a few choice tidbits from the panel:

q: what do i do if my boyfriend never puts the toilet seat down? paul: get rid of him

q: there are beehives in my house, what do i do?? paul: don’t kill them!! bees are our friends. move out. let the bees have the house instead

q: boxers or briefs? paul: briefs. *pointed look at audience* some of us need the support.

he was asked the trolley problem and said without hesitation that he would move the trolley to kill the one instead of the five. he also endorsed stealing from businesses to feed the hungry (unsurprising because *cough* he’s a socialist). he revealed that he shoplifted all the time as a kid as a right of passage in working class liverpool and asked the audience to raise their hands if they’d ever shoplifted. when a decent amount did, he called it a sign of a healthy society. he doted on his sons quite a bit which was adorable, and said he was the “soft touch” when they were growing up while mum was bad cop.

at one point he said if liverpool won the premiere league he’d “sit naked here in front of you” and then immediately was like “...i don’t know why i said that.” the audience was roaring with laughter the entire time. it was legitimately the funnest panel i’ve ever been too :’0 and we had front row seats!!

at the end, the host opened the panel up to the audience to ask their advice questions, and maggie asked one about how to survive while studying abroad in london next year. paul gently ribbed her at first being like “well, remember to sleep and eat” but then reassured her “you’ll be fine” and i could physically feel her melting beside me.

after the panel he chatted a bit with the women next to us, who i know to be old guards of paul mcgann fandom. i didn’t hear much but i did hear paul refer to “that brexit shit” lol.

the last time maggie and i saw paul, he seemed to be leaving the con and nearly tripped over a remote control cybermat on the way out, which was cute.

all in all...i really don’t have words for how amazing this was. i couldn’t have asked for a better environment to meet my favorite actor in, and i have gained so many wonderful memories that i can’t even keep track of them all, and i can’t wait to do it again.

[yyh-revival]

Alot of people draw parallels between Kurama and Kurapika, Hiei and Killua, Yusuke and Gon, Kuwabara and Leorio But no one comments on how Karasu is this weird hybrid of Ilumi and Hisoka. ( Also Sensui and Chrollo)

Wish I could help you there, but I only saw I think two seasons? Maybe one season. *shrugs* I could never get into Hunter x Hunter. I have a few theories for why, I think, but it’s all super subjective. One of my friends is the exact opposite, obsessed with HxH and unable to enjoy Yu Yu Hakusho.

If you are a fan of HxH, I strongly advise you don’t read this. These are my personal opinions on why I cannot stand the show, not a detailed analysis of the show itself or objective view of its merit. Will be under cut.

Also I am sleep deprived and potentially tipsy so this will likely not be coherent. *finger guns*

Anyway, for me, HxH always felt… too on the nose? Too Naruto-like, in a way? Here, meet Gon, he’s a super nice and friendly dude, but oh no, he has a tragic past because his dad is missing… And now he wants to be just like his dad, who is missing, so why is he emulating a dude he doesn’t know? And here, meet Killua, he’s a psychopath and he’s like 10. Instead of getting this kid a therapist the older characters around him are going to encourage him to go kill people. Oh yes, these children are also murderers. Meet Kurapika, the Kurama of the group, who is also a bishie, is low-key scary, intelligent, caring, and also has a tragic past! Yay… And Leorio… I confess I don’t know shit about him. But he probably has a tragic past.

Okay, I am probably being too harsh on this show. I know it’s beloved by many people. But the constant pushing of “tragic!! So sad!!” and “child murder! Yay!” Is just not my cup of tea. 

YYH did this way better, in my opinion. The tragedy is there, but it’s layered on slowly. Hiei, who arguably has one of the most tragic childhoods a shonen character ever experienced, doesn’t actually tell us what happened to him until the show is almost over. We get to learn who he is, what makes him tick, we get to love him, ponder about his past, get invested. Then we are given the sad. But HxH is like Naruto in the fact that it just shoves it into our face, as if to say, “hey, this character had a bad childhood, you should feel sorry for them and love them.” I just hate that. 

And Gon… that friendly optimism is just… weird? He feels 2-d to me, not like a real child. Whereas the imperfect Yusuke acts exactly as you’d expect a child in his position to act. He has daddy issues because he never had a father. He has issues with authority because his mother was awful and he never felt safe or comforted by the adults around him. He gravitates towards male role models and at the same time rejects them. He respects only one authority, Genkai, because she is the first adult who taught him what he found useful. His kindness, his empathy, all that is earned. When Yusuke tells Genkai he cares about her, when he cries over her death, we believe it and we feel it, because we saw what he was like when he didn’t care, when he didn’t have an adult to turn to. It’s like a child that had been neglected all his life who was suddenly thrust into a foster home or an orphanage where one cranky lady is done with life, so she’s honest and raw and doesn’t throw platitudes into his face, and he respects that. He gravitates to it the same way 9th grade students do to the teacher who uses swear words in class and isn’t afraid to show the Romeo and Juliet movie that has the *gasp* boobie in it. His relationship with Genkai is realistic and earned, and genuine like crazy, and when he mourns her, the first and only adult he respected, loved, and felt safe with, we all mourn with him…

But Gon? I don’t know. He just put me off from the start. He doesn’t seem to have a reason for being so damn friendly. He doesn’t seem to act like a normal human being at all. He’s just this weird 2-d cartoon that tries to kill with kindness and be just like his missing dad instead of, ya know, doing the realistic thing and having a complicated relationship with him. Like, Yusuke doesn’t hate Atsuko. But he sure does blame her for lots of things. I can interject my own childhood here, because my feelings toward family are also complicated. I know the “missing parent” thing really well because my parents lived in a different county for half of my childhood, and I can tell you, while I understood why they did it, and loved them, and appreciated with all my heart the sacrifices they made… I still did, and still do, blame them for robbing me of a normal childhood. Of robbing me of a relationship with them. Of robbing me of that mother-daughter best friend dynamic, of being able to tell them all my secrets and feel like they’re part of my life and not just distant parental figures I respect and love the way the religious love and respect their gods. And Yusuke is the same. His relationships with all the adults in his life, even some of the other kids, are complicated and layered and realistic. He knows his mother had a raw dealing having him at what, 15? But he also blames her for not doing more… Hiei, how does he feel, knowing that his mother died, instead of leaving the Glacier Village during her pregnancy or right after birth to go look for him? How does he feel knowing she stayed there, and died there? It wasn’t her fault. She was heartbroken, she was exhausted from giving birth, and she was weak and scared and alone… it’s even implied she committed suicide. And if she did, don’t you think Hiei might still feel complicated about it? Don’t you think he might feel like she should have been stronger, for him, for this small child that didn’t deserve his fate? She should have lived and left the village and searched for him! She should have looked even if she knew he was dead, if nothing else then to bury him! That’s the sort of thoughts I bet once ran through his mind…

But Gon? Nothing. Just… love for mom and idealizing dad. It’s boring, unrealistic, and I hate it.

Killua, my friend’s favorite shonen character (if not favorite anime character) of all time is literally one of my least favorite, and the only character I might have liked, Kurapika, was clearly ripping off of Kurama, whip and all included. So I just could never finish the show.

As for the Karasu question, technically, he came first, so those other characters are based on him. But from what I did actually see of Hisoka… he’s like an evil pedo (right?? I heard something like that??) clown. That’s what he is. How is he threatening? This isn’t even a rhetorical question. Creepy, maybe. But I’d just feel slightly uneased by him and then call the police if he came near me. If Karasu had his eyes on me like he did on Kurama, I’d probably shit my pants, let’s be real. 

Karasu was a sadist. He was thrilled by the “intimacy between murderer and victim.” And the scariest shit of all? You can sorta understand him. When you murder someone, you are the only person in the world to see what happens to them. You have complete control over that person. You are their god, deciding if they are worthy of life or death. It’s an urge you can theorize about, can talk about, can even understand to a degree. But Hisoka? He uh, wears clown clothes and chases Gon? Or something? He makes scary faces? Karasu doesn’t have to even show his face to be terrifying. He just has to talk about his hobbies and his beliefs. Hell, the moment she shows up you feel something is up. I saw Hisoka like, at least 10 times and I still don’t know shit bout him. Karasu had like, 3-4 speaking scenes and they all made him fucking scarier with each one. I felt like each scene with Hisoka added absolutely zero to the show. Not to mention how fucking slow it was…

I feel like having a character target your young protagonist and make creepy faces at them is just lazy. Dude is, and I know Naruto came after, but that’s the show I saw first and actually know a thing or two about (till whenever shippuden started). So dude is just like Orochimaru. Now I was never scared of that guy, I just thought he was a total creeper. To me, there were way scarier moments. Hell, even Gaara’s brother, when he like, trapped a guy inside a puppet and then blood dripped out? Was that him? Anyway, that moment was way freakier than anything Orochimaru did. Karasu’s like 3 scenes were way more psychologically scary than all of Orochimaru’s scenes put together. And I got the same vibe from Hisoka as Orochimaru. The, he’s creepy and these kids should definitely find an adult asap, and not “holy fuck that’s a mass kidnapper/rapist/torturer/murderer and holy hell I am fascinated and also terrified and holy shit Kurama run run run!” 

*shrugs* Karasu is honestly probably the scariest villain in YYH, too. Only because he enjoys torture and murder, and he explains why. And the explanation makes fucking sense and its so terrifying that I can’t

and he also doesn’t look like a clown. That’s a major plus. I’m not and never will be scared of clowns. Like… its a clown. Its colorful and does weird shit. How is that scary? No, demonic looking motherfuckers with long ass ink black hair and eyes that glow purple with glee at the thought of ripping blood curling screams out of someone in front of a giant ass audience, and lamenting that they wish they could fucking keep him and I dont know fucking fuck his corpse is that what he meant cause holy fuck!??! 

Anyway, Karasu gives me nightmares and I love him and I don’t care for HxH and I need sleep and love you all very much please don’t hate me for disliking this show I really did give it like, three separate chances. *shrugs*

- Mod Lola