#(ask from jun. 27) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

faetima · 1 year ago

Text

𝐚𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞. .

. . one day you receive an odd text from an unknown number. you try blocking the number, but it doesn’t work.

oh well, it’s probably just someone pranking you.

right?

// tws ; lil bit of cursing, stalking ; gn reader ; modern au, yandere au

a/n: sorry for the weird formatting!! tumblr wouldn't let me format it correctly :(

also sorry for the random bigger text, it keeps changing random letters and numbers to be bigger for some reason??

𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧.

aconties — symbolize hatred and that you should be cautious.

aconite - veil

always forever - cults

jealous girl - lana del rey

suki suki daisuki - jun togawa

yes or yes - twice

saccharine - jazmin bean

stalker’s tango - autoheart

an unhealthy obsession - tbrso

candy coated suicide - night club

i wanna be your boyfriend - hot freaks

i’m a slave 4 u - jazmin bean

the red means i love you - madds buckley

body - mother mother

red lights - bang chan, hyunjin

playlist <3

𝟭.‎‎‎‎‎

‎‎‎unknown number has started a chat !

18:12 december 12th, 2024

unknown number

hello, my aconite. :)

you

who is this?

unknown number

oh, dont worry about that.

youll know very soon, my beloved aconite. <3

read 18:20

you have blocked unknown number !

…

your block was unsuccessful ! please try again later .

𝟮.

‎‎‎unknown number has started a chat !

13:27 december 13th, 2024

unknown number

hello, my aconite!

how was your day today?

sent 13:27

unknown number

hello?

sent 16:43

unknown number

please reply. i know youre online, aconite.

you

please stop

who is this??

unknown number

i told you before !

haha, my aconite is so silly. never remembers anything.

like your math homework yesterday, hm? completely forgot to do it!

so cute.<3

read 17:38

you have blocked unknown number !

…

your block was unsuccessful ! please try again later .

𝟯.

‎‎‎unknown number has started a chat !

12:12 december 14th, 2024

unknown number

who is that boy?

you

unknown number

the one sitting across from you.

he keeps looking at you.

he keeps touching you. its pissing me off.

who is he?

you

he’s my friend

unknown number

sure.

well see how long that lasts. :)

read 12:48

you looked up from your phone, glancing towards bennett, and then around the small cafeteria which was packed with people, a shiver running down your spine.

whoever was texting you was here, and they were watching you.

𝟰.

‎‎‎unknown number has started a chat !

12:58 december 17th, 2024

unknown number

my beloved aconite, arent you supposed to be in class rigjt now?

right ***

ignore that.

and, most importantly, arent you supposed to be paying attention?

come on darling, on your phone in the one class i so happen to be in?

you can do this in chemistry or something. dont do it just when i so happen to be near you. i know for a fact you dont do this in any other class.

anyways, see you later ❤️❤️

read 13:02

𝟱.

you have started a chat !

09:27 december 18th, 2024

you

BENNETT

HELP KE

benny

Huh? Wht happened? R u ok?

you

THERE’S THIS GHY

OR GIRL I DON’T KNOW

AND I THINK HE’S STALKING ME OR SOMETHING

benny

Huh?? Wdym?

you

OKAY I DON’T KNOW IF HE’S STALKING ME

BUT HE’S GIVING ME REALLY FREAKY VIBES

HE KEEPS TEXTING ME

AND HE SAW ME TALKING TO YOU

AND THEN HE ASKED ABT THAT

AND HE WAS LIKE “HE WON’T BE YOUR FRIEND FOR LONG 🙂”

AND AND AND

APPARENTLY HE’S IN MY MATH CLASS???

AND HE SAW ME ON MY PHONE

JND TEHN HE TEXTED ME AND SCOLED ME

HELP WHAT DO I DO

benny

Just block him

you

I TRIED

IT’S NOT WORKING??

benny

Well I dont think u can do anything abt it besides that

Bc u dont hv any proof that he has any malicious intent

So uhm maybe just ignore him

Maybe hes just trolling u

you

yeah

maybe

read 10:01

you let out a sigh, putting your phone face down and burying your face in your arms.

what could you even do at this point? you didn’t have any proof they had any bad intent, and you couldn’t block them.

this whole situation was starting to freak you out. it didn’t help that you were pretty emotional and easily scared.

maybe you should look on the positive side. hey, someone finally has a crush on you!

you swallowed hard, breathing rapidly, heart racing. you buried your face deeper in your arms, scared of what was to come from this whole situation.

𝟲.

you exhaled shakily, a small fog appearing from it. you were shivering, the outside cold pinpricking your skin like tiny needles.

choosing fashion over warmth probably hadn’t been a good idea, but who cared? you liked dressing up. it was worth sacrificing your comfort for something you enjoyed! plus you would’ve been cold either way. it would be heated enough in the classroom anyway.

at least you hoped it would be.

you walked at moderately fast pace to your school, putting in your earbuds. you scrolled down your playlist on spotify, finally finding the song you had been craving to listen to. you clicked the play button on it, refraining from humming along to it.

you found yourself repeatedly glancing behind yourself, even though each time you looked no one was there. every time there was even the slightest of rustling able to penetrate through the sound of the music you were listening to, you’d jump, paranoid.

ever since you had received the first message, you had been on edge, and for good reason. this whole situation was extremely different from what you experienced in your day to day life.

before this, you hadn’t even known of anyone liking you romantically. it wasn’t that everyone hated you or something, you were just pretty shy, which led others to socialize with and notice you less.

a lot less.

it was a bit disappointing, but at least you had a few friends.

you had been lost in your train of thought too long. as you walked forward mindlessly, you hadn’t noticed a figure also walking in front of you.

you crashed into the person and staggered a little before regaining your balance.

luckily the person didn’t fall or anything, but instead stood rigid like a stone wall.

you gasped out a few apologizes, repeatedly saying “sorry”.

but you immediately shut up when the person turned around and when electric purple eyes met your own.

you swallowed hard, freezing as the person scowled at you.

𝟳.

“watch where you’re going,” the person muttered, still scowling at you. her loosely braided hair—a shade of bright purple, similar to that of an aconite, with some lighter purple highlights within it—fell down the front of her shoulder, and she pushed it back. the motion itself was filled with pure elegance and grace.

”i- uhm, sorry,” you mumbled, your neck getting hotter as you lowered your head a little in shame.

the girl rolled her eyes.

even that was full of daintiness and fluidity.

she sighed the slightest bit, seeming to soften a little.

”it’s fine, i guess. just watch where you’re going in the future.”

she mumbled those words quickly before turning and walking away briskly, pulling out her phone and rapidly texting someone whilst walking.

the sharp clicking of her heels was the only thing heard in the crisp and cold morning air.

suddenly, your phone buzzed. you took it out, hands trembling the tiniest bit.

‎‎‎unknown number has started a chat !

07:54 december 19th, 2024

unknown number

where are you?

youre in class by this time.

read 07:54

unknown number

answer me.

read 08:01

unknown number

stop fucking leaving me on read.

read 08:04

you have blocked unknown number !

…

your block was successful !

𝟴.

22:39 december 20th, 2024

unknown number

youre going to regret this so, so much my pretty aconite.

im going to pick all your petals off.

one

one. <3

your message was not able to be sent ! you may have been blocked by the recipient . if not, please try again later . if the problem persists, please contact customer support .

𝟵.

a few days had passed since you had blocked the number.

now you sat in class, chin placed in the palm of your arm. you felt eerily drowsy, but knew it was just because of how bored you were. the teacher droned on and on about some sort of math formula. you didn’t bother listening, knowing it would only make your head hurt if you tried to understand what was going on.

you were snapped out of your sleepy daze when the teacher said something about a “group project”. she said there would be groups of three or four, and that groups would be predetermined, but you could request to be put in a group with someone else.

the person sitting in front of you passed you the slip to request to be put into a group with someone.

you passed it to the person behind you after realizing what the slip was for.

you just had to be assigned a group project in the class you had no friends in. it could’ve been in literally any other class, but no, instead it was in the class where you barley knew anyone.

you didn’t put anyone on the slip because you barley knew anyone in the class, and the people you knew probably were already going to put someone else on the paper.

you put your head down in your arms, closing your eyes, listening to the erratic chatter around you.

what you didn’t notice was that, on the slip, someone had already put your name down alongside theirs.

𝟭𝟬.

you sighed softly, finally done with school for the day. you opened the door to your house, and were hit by the strong and unmistakable aroma of your favorite meal.

you stepped into your house, closing the door quietly and setting your backpack down. you greeted your mom, who greeted you back. she stood in the kitchen, cooking your favorite meal.

”can you go to the store for me? i need salt for this, but we ran out,” your mom stated, gesturing towards what she was cooking.

you nodded silently, turning to leave. you opened the door, closed it, and started walking to the store.

upon entering, you couldn’t help but notice how empty it was. usually there were at least a few other people, but right now you could only spot around four.

you walked around the store but, even after ten minutes of sauntering around, couldn’t find the salt for some reason. maybe you were going blind or something.

you decided to ask an employee, timidly walking up to one and tapping him on the shoulder.

he turned around, bright purple eyes meeting your own. a scowl, which didn’t quite seem to fit him, adorned his pretty face. his hair was a dull shade of purple, and light wispy bangs fell on his forehead. his skin was extremely clear and pale like porcelain, and looked as if it could shatter any second. the resemblance to a doll he bore was uncanny.

”what?” he snapped, glaring at you through his bangs.

”uhm, sorry to bother you, but, uh, do you.. do you know where the salt is?” you asked, fidgeting a little with your fingers.

he let out a long, deep sigh.

”yes. follow me,” he muttered, already walking towards the isle.

you followed in suit.

𝟭𝟭.

tentatively, you looked up from your hands to see who was in your group.

the first person you laid your eyes upon was a girl with light blue hair tied into an elegant and sleek ponytail with a black ribbon with golden streaks. she had a small beauty mark under one of her eyes, which were a pale shade of blue, matching her hair.

sitting beside her was a guy who was a bit taller than her. he had green eyes and messy honey-yellow hair that was tied into a ponytail with a scarlet red ribbon.

you moved your gaze to the last person.

he seemed oddly familiar, like you had seen him somewhere before. you couldn’t quite remember where though, maybe at park or store?

he had feathery bangs which fell down his forehead in a almost perfect matter. his hair itself seemed to be styled in a jellyfish cut of sorts, and was a dim shade of lavender. his eyes matched the color of his hair, and were narrowed to form a scowl on his pretty face. his skin was eerily pale, almost like porcelain.

the boy who you were just looking at let out what seemed to be an annoyed sigh, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes at something.

the blonde boy spoke up first.

”so, uhm.. hi. i’m thoma.”

following in suit, you all said your names after him.

thoma spoke again.

”do you guys have a phone number or something we can use to contact each other with for the project? i already have ayaka’s, so i just need you boths’.”

scaramouche shook his head.

”i don’t have access to my phone right now,” he muttered, still scowling

”oh.”

”we, uhm, we can use instagram or something to message each other?” you said, the slightest hint of nervousness lacing your voice.

”sure,” ayaka said.

scaramouche and thoma nodded in agreement.

you all wrote down your usernames on a piece of paper.

once you got home, you took out your phone, typing all their usernames into the search bar and following them one by one. after doing so, you added them all to a group chat.

𝟭𝟮.

you have started a chat !

18:12 december 27th, 2024

you

@.lookingforthoma

Hello.

@.hidingfromayaka

🤑

@.flowers4sc4ra

hi. ig.

@.hidingfromayaka

LMAOO WHY IS UR USERNAME THAT

UR ALWAYS SO EMO BUT NOW

”FLOWERS4SC4RA”

LMOA LMOA

@.flowers4sc4ra

shut the fuck up.

you

pls stop

@.flowers4sc4ra

sorry. ig.

@.hidingfromayaka

OMFG

HE KIST

USYT

JUST

SAID SORRY

TO U

SHEJSHWJAHAAKAKWK

you

okay anyway

there’s two parts on the project

i was thinking we could split up into teams of two and then each do one part or smth?

idk man 😭😭

@.lookingforthoma

That sounds good.

@.flowers4sc4ra

ok.

@.hidingfromayaka

i call dibs on working with ayaka 😛😛

1 user disliked

𝟭𝟯.

you stood in front of his house’s door, rocking back onto your heels and then up onto your toes, nervous. you clutched the bag you were holding—of which was filled with notebooks and various school supplies.

you were anxious, waiting for scaramouche to answer the door. it had only been a minute, but to you it felt like ten.

you couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. you didn’t know why or how or when or where, just that you had a bad gut feeling.

but you shook it off, knowing you had to work on the project.

all of the sudden the door opened, slamming against the wall in a violent manner, making you flinch a little, torn out of your thoughts.

you glanced at the doorway, laying your eyes on the indigo-haired boy.

”uhm, hi,” you mumbled, swallowing nervously.

”hi,” he replied, voice and face blank; devoid of any emotion, “uh, d’you wanna come in?”

you uttered a small okay, walking inside after he shuffled a little to the side.

“we can work in the living room, i guess.”

you nodded silently, following scaramouche as he walked to the living room.

upon arriving, you placed your bag—which you had been clutching so hard your knuckles had turned white—down. you both sat down on the ground, and, after taking your things out, started working on the project.

scaramouche was sitting slightly behind you, doing his part of the project. once every few minutes, he would lean his head over your shoulder—face almost touching it—in order to see what progress you had made.

your heart beat much, much faster every time he did it, face getting hot.

and of course that didn’t go unnoticed by scaramouche.

around an hour after working on the project, you asked scaramouche where the bathroom was.

”straight, then go left,” he said. he didn’t even glance up at you as he told you where to go, just continued writing on the notebook splayed out in front of him.

you got up, walking out of the living room and straight like he said.

only problem was you didn’t quite remember if he had said to go right or left after going straight.

you decided to go right, and came across a door. assuming it was the bathroom, you opened it.

you really wished you hadn’t after you saw what was inside.

𝟭𝟰.

after you had opened the door and seen what was inside, you really wished you hadn't.

inside there were hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of photographs. they were plastered all over the walls, overlapping each other. they covered the ground, the walls, the ceiling, everything. the only things in the room besides that were a bed, a desk, and a computer monitor, which was lit up.

the bright screen blared at you, enticing you to come look.

the monitor displayed pictures of a house, probably running from security cameras or the like.

but it wasn't just any house, no.

it was your house.

your room.

your kitchen.

your living room.

your fucking house.

a wave of dizziness and nausea hit you. you felt sick to your stomach, leaning on the doorway for support.

then you heard something clattering behind you, falling to the floor.

you looked behind you, eyes wide.

scaramouche was standing there, frozen. he had dropped his phone to the ground, which had a photo of you working on the project opened on it.

”why the fuck are you in my room?” he burst out, almost yelling at you.

his room?

you became even more still than you were before, if that was even physically possible.

”y-you- your room?” you uttered, voice audibly shaking.

scaramouche just glared at you, hands fisted up.

then he took a step toward you.

you, in turn, stepped backwards.

the slightest rusting of paper was heard—presumably some of the photographs getting crushed underneath your feet.

he walked closer.

you backed away.

it was a vicious cycle which eventually ended when you bumped into a wall. some photographs fell down to the floor from the motion.

scaramouche cornered you in, staring at you with an unknown glint in his eyes.

it was a combination of everything you had made him fucking feel—obsession, anger, lovesickness, loathing.

he leaned in towards you, mouth almost touching your ear from how close he was. his hot breath fanned across your neck.

”well, since you’ve already seen everything, there’s no point in letting you leave now, hm? not when you’re right where i want you, my beloved aconite,” he whispered, pulling away. scaramouche grinned.

he stared at you with a mixture of emotions in his eyes, but the most prominent was limerence.

“you’re finally all mine. my aconite.”

292 notes · View notes

everwhovian · 3 months ago

Text

what remains. | Hwang brothers | ao3

(a glimpse into In-ho and Jun-ho's relationship as Jun-ho grows up)

pairing: Hwang In-ho & Hwang Jun-ho, Hwang In-ho/In-ho's wife

tags: family dynamics, good sibling Hwang In-ho, mention of sickness, weight loss due to sickness, kidney disease, surgical scars, medical debt, acute cirrhosis, pregnancy, mentions of termination, squid game typical violence, character death

tags will be updated

“The role of ‘older brother’ blurred into something bigger, heavier, he wasn’t just a brother anymore. He was something else. Something more.”

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ○△□ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Part 1: In-ho meeting his baby brother

Part 2: In-ho and his stepmother

Part 3: Jun-ho's first steps

Part 4: In-ho becoming a police officer

Part 5: In-ho meeting his wife

Part 5.1: February 14th, normal day, right?

Part 5.2: White Day

Part 5.3: Jun-ho, Yuna, and the vegetables

Part 6: Jun-ho wants to become a police detective like his brother

Part 7: Jun-ho thinks about the true meaning of ‘hyung’

Part 8: Something is wrong with Jun-ho

Part 9: The kidney disease

Part 10: In-ho and Jun-ho share a scar

Part 11: In-ho shoulders a lot of responsibility

Part 12: In-ho and Jun-ho working together at the same precinct

“Debt didn’t care. It didn’t care that he had spent his entire life protecting his family. It didn’t care that he had given up a part of himself to save them. Debt didn’t care why it existed.

It only cared that it did.”

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ○△□ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Part 13: a cruel déjà-vu

Part 14: In-ho can't be the solution

Part 15: In-ho doesn't leave his wife's side

Part 16: In-ho can't hide the truth from his wife

Part 17: In-ho was never a gambler

Part 18: They have to make a decision

Part 19: Midnight calls, morning fears

Part 20: In-ho borrows money

Part 21: In-ho tries to keep the secret

Part 22: Jun-ho blames himself

“The moment came when the rules changed, when they were no longer playing against the system, but against each other. It was either him or someone else.”

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ○△□ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Part 23: In-ho plays a childhood game

Part 24: In-ho calls the number...

Part 25: Red Light, Green Light

Part 26: Biseokchigi

Part 27: Forming an alliance, a team

Part 28: Names they shouldn't say

Part 29: Tuho

Part 30: Jun-ho realizes that something is wrong

Part 31: Breaking the news

Part 32: In-ho lets Young-il ramble

Part 33: Zero One

Part 34: Shifting tides

Part 35: Lights out

Part 36: In-ho notices the rules changing

next part coming soon

“The choices not taken, the paths left unexplored... Below are glimpses of what could have been – alternate moments, different turns, unanswered what-ifs.”

Based on asks or just scenes that didn’t make it into ‘what remains’

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ○△□ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

AU: In-ho wins the games, Yuna survives, and Jun-ho becomes an uncle

Yuna’s pov: how Yuna fell for the grumpy police officer and became a part of his family

Jun-ho and Yuna are both sick, and In-ho has to make a decision. Yuna takes the decision out of his hand: it has to be Jun-ho.

Yuna and Jun-ho being sick at the same time

Jun-ho feels guilty that they're choosing him

In-ho loses both of them

Jun-ho and Yuna are both sick, and In-ho has to make a decision. Jun-ho refuses to let In-ho choose.

Jun-ho makes In-ho choose Yuna

Yuna doesn't agree with Jun-ho's decision

Last chance to change Jun-ho's mind

In-ho holds Jun-ho one last time

In-ho can't donate his kidney and has to watch Jun-ho fade away

In-ho is not a match for Jun-ho

In-ho has to watch Jun-ho die

Kid!Jun-ho causes nothing but trouble. Obviously, his hyung is there to catch him if he falls

In-ho and Jun-ho having a water fight

Jun-ho picks a weird ice cream flavor

Jun-ho breaks his arm

Parents' Day

Yuna babysits Jun-ho

Jun-ho cheers up his hyung

Jun-ho feeds a cat

Jun-ho reads a book

Jun-ho picks up a stick

In-ho makes breakfast

Jun-ho gets bullied, and In-ho is there for him

Hwang Brothers dying in each other's arms

In-ho dying in Jun-ho's arms

In-ho blows up the island and dies in Jun-ho’s arms

In-ho blows up the island and doesn't die in Jun-ho’s arms

Five times Jun-ho said yes to his hyung, and one time he didn't

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ○△□ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

s3: Jun-ho turning the gun on himself

In-ho tries to stop Jun-ho

In-ho's pov

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ○△□ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

s2: Jun-ho gets hurt in the explosion

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ○△□ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

In-ho hallucinates Jun-ho during Mingle

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ○△□ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

s2 ep2: “Trash eliminated from the competition.” - Was that how In-ho saw Jun-ho, when he pulled the trigger on the cliff? That he was just clearing out garbage? That Jun-ho was already one of the discarded?

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ○△□ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

English is not my first language!

I wanted to organize the scenes chronologically cause I might write and post them very randomly. I'm sorry in advance! So far, I am following a red thread, but you never know...

#what remains hwang brothers #hwang bros #hwang siblings #hwang brothers #hwang inho #hwang junho #inho and junho #hwang in ho #hwang jun ho #squid game #squid game spoilers #squid game fanfic #front man #squid game front man #sibling bonding #siblings #masterlist

120 notes · View notes

verstappen-cult · 1 year ago

Text

HOW YOU GET THE GIRL | CL16

— 03. THE DRAMA

PREV. PART | NEXT PART — [ SERIES MASTERLIST ]

summary: in which charles has an embarrassing crush on alex's childhood best friend and everyone meddles. content warnings: faceclaim is taylor hill but you can picture her as you’d like! some cursing and a tiny bit of angst because why not. time jump of a month approx.

INSTAGRAM POST

📍 LONDON, ENGLAND — JUN 27, 2023

Liked by alex_albon, landonorris and 897,455 others

yourusername i kinda like it here. ⛳️

view all 7,637 comments

user66 uh excuse me? the second slide???

user67 IS THAT CHARLES ???? user68 I THINK SO

alex_albon i feel betrayed.

yourusername stop being so dramatic

user69 my parents are together i still can’t believe it

user70 oh my god okay it’s happening

user71 everybody stay calm OH MY GOD user72 are they together? user71 girl go on twitter and see

landonorris let’s play and see who’s better

yourusername me ofc

charles_leclerc ❤️

user73 relationship goals

user74 lol we don’t even know if they’re dating user75 they kissed in front of thousand of people AND on live tv what are you talking about

user76 he’s too good for her

user77 who is she anyway. user78 stop being so childish, he’s never gonna date u

user79 who wouldn’t want to date her i mean just look at her

user80 all these people saying charles is too good for her like ??? SHE’S too good for him

user81 she will get bored in a few days mark my words

danielricciardo Ok but who won?

charles_leclerc i won! yourusername charlie don’t lie maxverstappen1 I don’t believe anything he says ever since I won fair and square playing FIFA and he threw the controller at me. landonorris he did that to you too? pierregasly that’s nothing. he threw a padel racket at my head, i still don’t remember anything from that day. charles_leclerc ffs shut up yourusername leave him alone you bullies

user82 i love how all the drivers are calling charles out lol

Y/N’S iMESSAGE

“that’s not how you make pasta!” you’re dying with laughter at seeing charles trying to cook.

“i asked you if i could cook!” charles can’t help but join you in your laughter, leaving the burned pasta aside.

“because you said you knew how to!”

“you better not believe anything i say.” he takes a sip of wine. the one he brought alongside the beautiful flowers that are now adorning your terrace.

“not even when you say how much you like me?” you pout, looking at him beneath your eyelashes.

charles walks the short distance to where you are sitting in the kitchen counter and you happily make room for him between your legs, arms finding your waist in no time.

“you should a hundred percent believe that.”

“mh i don’t know,” you tease, playing with his soft hair. god, you love his hair so much. “i think you should show me.”

“oh i’m definitely going to do that.”

INSTAGRAM POST

Liked by sabrinacarpenter, gigihadid and 566,328 others

yourusername 💐

view all 8,771 comments

user83 that’s one hell of a bouquet

user84 charles knows what he’s doing

gigihadid Can’t wait to see you this weekend!

❤️ by author

user85 i wanna be her so bad :(

user86 If it weren’t for Charles nobody would know who she is. He put her on the map.

user87 this is a grown ass man by the way user 88 i swear to god men are so in love with charles is getting kinda scary

carmenmmundt What a beautiful picture 💛

user89 tired of her comment section being all about charles

user90 fr like they forget she’s her own person user91 I just know she doesn’t like this at all, she’s always speak up about these kind of things user92 if this were to happen the other way around everyone would be insulting her

user93 CHARLES IS WITH HER RN OHMYGOD

user94 what are you taking about user93 LOOK AT CHARLES STORIES HE LITERALLY JUST POSTED THE PICTURES user95 if it wasn’t for the close up of the flowers we wouldn’t even know they’re together user96 he def did it on purpose

user97 the boys, the girls, the gays, they all like Y/N

INSTAGRAM STORIES

landonorris has replied to your story

landonorris: *chandler bing’s voice* can I BE any more obvious? charles_leclerc: just stop watching friends, i beg you

maxverstappen1 has replied to your story

maxverstappen1: Uh, so that’s why you wouldn’t travel with me. Interesting. charles_leclerc: can i use air max for the next race? 🥺

pierregasly has replied to your story

pierregasly: you guys make me sick charles_leclerc: Y/N says to shut up pierregasly: 🤮🤮🤮

yourusername has replied to your story

yourusername: i like this soft launch/hard launch thing charles_leclerc: i bet you like me more yourusername: debatable charles_leclerc: i can make you change your mind 😏

TWITTER — JUN 28, 2023

TWITTER — JUN 30, 2023

TWITTER — JUL 02, 2023

ALEX’S iMESAGGE

TAGLIST (bold means i couldn’t tag you) — @leclerc16s. @willowpains. @berrnuu. @minkyungseokie. @1655clean. @sassyheroneckgiant. @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir. @nessacarty1. @a1leexxa. @storminacloud. @lovstappen. @littlehoneyfreak. @paintedbypoetry. @thatoneembarrasingmoment.

note: hiii besties, take this as an early new years present! this was supposed to be posted after dec 31st but couldn’t leave it in the drafts. there is at least one or two more chapters, so if you still wanna be added to the taglist let me know! <3

#꒰꒰ 📁 ─ verstappen cult files ꒱꒱#f1 x reader #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc fluff #f1 imagine #f1 grid x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x you #f1 fanfic #charles leclerc smau #charles leclerc blurb

932 notes · View notes

wheeboo · 2 years ago

Text

psycho | wen junhui

SYNOPSIS. in which a new patient is assigned for treatment under your care, and you begin to put the puzzles and pieces together to a past case that you thought to have ceased away from your mind. PAIRING. wen junhui x psychologist!reader (ft. nurse!seokmin) GENRE. dark au, mystery, angst, a tiny tiny subtle pinch of fluff, my very first attempt at a psychological thriller :> WARNINGS. LOTS of descriptions and talks about fire, cursing, mentions of death, a mention of cigarettes, descriptions of scars + burns, descriptions of injuries from glass, mention of blood, reader has a small habit of scratching at their arms, jun makes a suggestive comment if you take it that way WORD COUNT. 12.8k

notes: this is for the caratsland event and probably the most complex plot i've tried to execute so far jsdlkfdfsdf. thank you to @slytherinshua for reading this over for me and being my lil confidence boost 💕 feedback would be much appreciated!! pls remember this is all fictional and not at all an accurate depiction of a psychiatric facility!!

another note: also this turned out to be rlly dialogue heavy and jun asks too many damn questions in this istg lmao

PRESENT DAY: 2023

"Dr. L/N, you have a new patient assigned to you in room 610."

You don't glance up from your desk. Instead, you finish reviewing the case notes of your previous patient and nod in acknowledgment to the nurse standing in your doorway, a friendly young man named Lee Seokmin who was a recent hire, as you were told. As you hear the drop of a patient file in front of you, you lean back in your chair and finally get yourself to look up.

"Thank you, Seokmin," You tell him with a soft smile.

Seokmin grins, teeth all-flashy and cheerful. "You're welcome, doctor," before dismissing himself back out of your office.

You turn your attention to the patient file now resting on your desk. As you start to read through the notes, you see it only contains some basic information about the patient: name, age, and a brief overview of their medical and psychiatric history. It's a starting point, but you know that the real work begins when you meet the person behind the paperwork.

"Name, Moon Jun... male, age 27..." You quietly study the file to yourself. The file mentions a history of severe emotional trauma and burn scars due to a fire, which immediately catches your attention in more ways than one. It also mentions extensive facial scarring and a history of therapy that completely lacked significant progress. A part of it is a familiar story in your field𑁋it isn't uncommon for individuals to experience setbacks in their recovery.

But there's something about this patient's history that tugs oddly at your heartstrings.

As you rummage deeper into the file, you come across a brief note from a colleague who had previously assessed Moon Jun, mentioning he had been withdrawn and non-communicative during his stay, displaying anti-social behaviour, sometimes even having random bursts of aggression when approached. You take a mental note of all this in your head.

Closing the patient file, you rise from your chair and adjust the white coat draped around you, before leaving your office. You make your way through the sterile, fluorescent-lit hallways of the psychiatric facility. The environment here is all-too familiar to you; you've spent years navigating these halls. With every door you pass, there hides a different story; a different struggle; a different battle.

Upon finally reaching the room, you hesitate outside the door for a moment. The anticipation and curiosity surrounding you mixes with a touch of uncertainty, almost like fear, as they often do when meeting a new patient. You've been doing this for nearly ten years, and the feeling isn't new.

Then as you come back to your senses, you lift a hand, give a gentle knock to the door, before entering the room. It's dimly lit inside, the curtains ominously drawn on the windows to conceal the sunlight peeking through. A figure sits at the edge of the bed, back turned to you, and the hood of his hoodie pulled low over his head worn over his patient gown.

"Moon... Jun?" You call out softly, trying not to startle him.

He doesn't respond immediately, shoulders tensing at the sound of your voice. After a moment of silence, he slowly turns his head to acknowledge your presence. Half of his face is obscured by a mask, leaving only his dark eyes visible.

"Doctor," he replies gravelly.

His gaze lingers on you as you take a seat in a chair that sat against the wall next to the bed, keeping a respectful distance from him. You've encountered many patients who have initially shown distrust or apprehension, but there's an intensity in the way he looks at you that sends something chilling on the surface of your skin, especially when it's the only part of his face that you can see.

You try to break the ice with a polite smile. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Moon. My name is Dr. Y/N, and I'll be conducting our therapy sessions during your stay here. Please, make yourself as comfortable as you can."

He slowly nods, but his eyes never leave yours. The mask covering his face makes it difficult to read his expressions.

"Before we begin," You continue, clearing your throat. "I want you to know that this is a safe and confidential space. Our conversations are private, and I'm here to help you in any way I can𑁋to help you heal. You can share as much or as little as you're comfortable with."

You see the way his gloved hands clench together in his lap.

"I can't be healed," he mutters quietly, voice trembling as you sense the hopelessness in his tone. You've heard this phrase many times before during your career.

"I understand that you may feel that way right now," You reply, as soothingly as possible. "but I believe that with time and the right support, healing is possible for anyone. It's a journey, and I'm here to walk it with you. It's a process, and you don't have to go through it alone."

His gaze remains fixed on you, and the unsettling tension in the room lingers, almost palpable that you feel like there's an imaginary barrier between you and him that was enough for you to see this small part of him, while he can see all of you.

"Would you like to tell me a little bit about yourself? How do you feel coming here today?" You ask, hoping to begin the process of establishing some sort of connection.

He uncomfortably shifts a bit on the bed.

"I never wanted to come here," he says flatly. "They say this is a place of healing, but I've seen enough doctors like you. They prod and poke, dig into your past, and in the end, nothing changes. They don't know what I've been through, what I've seen. The scars, everything, they don't heal."

The words that leave his mouth are bitter and sour, yet you could only get yourself to nod sympathetically.

"It's not uncommon for people to feel that way, especially if they haven't found the right support. I want you to know that my approach is different. I'm here to listen, not to prod or poke." You glance down at the file in your hand and flip it over so that you couldn't see any information about him. "You're in control of our sessions, Mr. Moon. We can go at whatever pace you'd like."

He finally seems intrigued by this, leaning in ever so slightly, eyes devoid of colour that seemed to bore straight into yours.

"Control?" he repeats, voice still carrying a hint of skepticism.

You nod once more. "Yes, control. You get to decide what you want to talk about, what you're comfortable sharing, and at what pace. If there are topics you'd like to avoid or take your time with, that's completely okay. We can work together to create a safe space for you."

He seems to be taking in your words. "And... what if I choose not to talk at all?"

You offer a reassuring smile. "Then that's the option we can settle with."

The minutes that tick by seem dreadingly slow, and there's a light that dances in his eyes from the singular light fixture hanging above that almost resembles that of a flame. It doesn't go away even if he blinks, and it draws you in. Just a tiny bit.

"However, is there anything specific you'd like to share with me today, Mr. Moon?" You ask, trying to keep the conversation flowing. "Any thoughts or concerns you'd like to discuss?"

For a moment, it seems like he's about to speak, but then he shakes his head ever so slightly, his hooded gaze still locked onto yours.

"Very well then." You let out a very subtle, shaky breath. It felt almost relieving. Silence it is.

That's what most of the session has come to𑁋sitting in this peculiar silence, feeling his eyes burn a hole right through you. It isn't until the end of the hour that he calls out toward you just as you were about to his exit his room, and you turn back to face him.

"Can you heal me, doctor?" he asks quietly, almost begging in a way. It's unnerving.

All you do is give him a faint smile.

"I'll try my best, Mr. Moon."

FLASHBACK: 2013

"...All I could see were orange and red flames, and the smoke was hurting my eyes. I couldn't breathe𑁋just barely, but it hurt. It was painful. They were getting larger and larger and the screams louder and louder. Everything was gone."

"And what did you do while the fire kept growing?"

"I watched it all happen. I watched it all burn in front of me." The words had sent an eerie shiver up your spine, forcing the pen in your hands to stop mid-sentence. There was a singular pause that had come to follow, a harrowing silence that seemed to stretch into eternity, a subtle quiver in his voice that you barely caught. "There was nothing I could do."

You clicked your pen, its sound echoing in the tense silence. The room seemed to grow colder with each moment that passed.

"But it's all my fault, right?" he had asked, tone so innocent that it itches a part of your heart uncomfortably, but tugged in a way you felt determined to take root of the grief in his chest and rip it apart. And for a moment as you looked in his dark eyes, over his youthful features and guilt-ridden face, you felt that inkling feeling again. "I killed them. It's all my fault."

"None of this is your fault. Blaming yourself for something you couldn't control is a heavy burden to carry," You reassured him calmly, as gently as you could, knowing the power that your own words could cause for someone seemingly lost, troubled, and young. "You saved yourself. You're alive; you did what you could to survive, and you're here to heal. I'm here to help you heal, okay?"

Your reassurance was met with a fleeting smile, but it hadn't quite reach his eyes, yet his gaze peered directly into you as if searching for something in you𑁋you could only think it was hope. Hope that he wanted to heal just as much as you wanted to help him heal. It's your job. This was why you took this job in the first place.

You needed to save people, either from the demons in their minds or the traumas that haunted them. This boy had lost his entire family in a housefire, for God's sake. This was your duty.

"It's not my fault," he had said, and met your eyes, as if searching for approval. "It's not my fault."

"That's right, Hui." You offered him a faint, assuring smile. "It's not your fault."

PRESENT DAY: 2023

"Excuse me, Dr. L/N? Is it okay if I sit here?"

You glance up to see Seokmin holding up a tray of lunch food, returning you from your zoning thoughts. You shoot him a kind smile and a nod, motioning to the empty space across from you for him to have a seat. Usually, you frequently have lunch alone in the comfort of your office where you can tend to yourself in solitude, but today, you might as well welcome the company.

Seokmin sets his tray down and takes a seat, and for some minutes, there's a comfortable silence as you both begin to eat. He seems to notice the tired lines to your face, but he doesn't press on about it.

"Have you been settling in well?" You ask him suddenly, breaking the silence.

"Huh, me? Oh." He's a bit taken aback, cheeks flushed, and you give a soft chuckle. "You could say that. I wanted to try something new after working bedside for the longest time. I didn't think that psych would be a field I was interested in𑁋look where I am now, though."

"That's the thing about this field." You let out a sigh, giving a knowing smile. "It has a way of drawing you in, even if you didn't plan on it."

"It was definitely an experience when I was in nursing school," Seokmin comments eagerly. You felt as if you were talking to a close friend rather than another colleague, and it feels rather refreshing. "and doing ICU was already draining of itself."

You take a sip of your drink, nodding your head. "I can only imagine. It can be quite rigorous."

Seokmin lets his gaze wander over you curiously. "How long have you worked here, doctor?"

"Please, you can just call me Y/N. Unless we're working."

Seokmin smiles. "How long have you worked here then, Y/N?"

You pause for a moment. Thinking about the amount of years you've worked in this field hasn't been a particular thought to come up𑁋time just seems to fly by when it's the only job you've been dedicated to for most of your life.

"Hm, ten years now? I believe this month will mark my ten years here."

Seokmin's eyes visibly widen in awe before responding, "Wow, that's... You must have really seen a lot of things. I really envy you, doctor."

Your smile fades just a bit; it's barely noticeable, though you still hope that Seokmin doesn't see it. You can feel that feeling gnaw at your skin again, something inexplicable, like a sense of foreboding that seemed to be creaking open a door you believed to have firmly shut for good.

But you choose to push it aside, just like you always do, dismissing it perfectly with a mutter of a thank you. It's ironic, considering this is what you do𑁋normally you would tell patients to confront their past and face their fears, but when it comes to your own, you tend to bury them.

There's an itch that crawls up your arms, and you knead at it through your sleeves with your fingers.

Maybe you can get used to this company, though.

"Do you have any kids, doctor?"

The question comes after a click of your pen, and you glance up from the vitals sheet in your hand to see Moon Jun sitting criss-crossed on the bed, gloved hands sitting on his lap and pupils peering curiously over you.

"No, Mr. Moon," You reply, keeping your tone soft, somewhat nonchalant. "I don't have any children."

He tilts his head slightly, almost as if he's studying you like a specimen under a microscope. The mask on his face makes him appear even more enigmatic, his dark, even charming eyes the only feature you can discern.

"No family at all?" he asks. "No husband, wife, or children to go home to?"

"I live alone. My work keeps me quite occupied."

Some silence passes.

"Alone," he repeats, almost to himself, as if savouring the word in his mouth. "Don't you ever feel... lonely though?"

His question hangs in the air like a dark cloud. It's an oddly personal inquiry, but you decide to address it professionally. "Loneliness is a feeling that many people experience at different points in their lives. It's a normal human emotion, and it's something we can work through."

His gaze narrows, and his gloved fingers twitch in his lap. His mask conceals most of his facial expressions, but you can sense an intensity in his gaze.

"I've felt lonely my entire life, you know," he points out as you sit yourself down in the chair in front of him just like all your previous sessions. Despite the considerable space between you two, sometimes you swear you can feel him breathing right down your neck. "Even being in here too, it.... feels like a different kind of loneliness. A place where they put people who are broken. Like me."

"I can assure you that you are not broken, Mr. Moon," You tell him reassuringly. "How are you with meeting the other patients here? Are there any you have been interacting with since our last session?"

He leans back slightly, his gloved hands still resting on his lap, and his gaze seems to drift momentarily as if he's recalling something.

"I think... they are scared of me, to be honest," he answers, eyes crinkling just slightly as if there was a smile playing on his lips right below his mask. "But... perhaps they're all just lost, confused, and weak. They pretend to get better, but they're just putting on a show. It's a bit pathetic, don't you think?"

"It's not uncommon for people in this environment to have their guard up," You tell him. "Sometimes, it's just a reaction to the unfamiliar. Everyone here is dealing with their own battles, just as you are, Mr. Moon."

He chuckles lowly at that. It's the first time you've heard such a sound like that leave his mouth, like a dissonant note echoing in an otherwise quiet room. His masked face gives nothing away.

"Maybe it's because of this stupid mask on my face," he says, touching the mask with the tips of his fingers. "It makes me look like a criminal or a monster."

"The mask might be intimidating to some," You acknowledge, crossing your arms together. "but it doesn't define who you are."

His eyes narrow slightly, though there's that twinge of amusement as he crosses his arms together, mirroring your body language.

"You're not scared of me, right, doctor?"

You meet his steady gaze, his own searching yours from behind the mask. There's a moment of silence, something unspoken lingering in the air.

"No, Mr. Moon, I'm not scared of you," You respond, keeping yourself composed. "I'm here to understand you."

He leans back, that hint of amusement still present on his face.

"I think you would make a great parent, doctor."

The unexpected compliment catches you off-guard for a moment, making you briefly at a loss for words. There's a slight blush that crawls up your cheeks, and you clear your throat, trying to regain your composure.

"Thank you." You give an appreciative smile. "That's very kind of you to say."

You see that flickering flame in his pupils again. It's a fire that seems to burn brighter with each passing minute, and it leaves you both intrigued and uneasy.

FLASHBACK: 2013

"I told you not to call me that!" Hui exclaimed angrily in frustration, his face turning a shade of red as he glared at you. The sudden outburst had caught you off-guard, and for a moment, found yourself at a loss for words. His face contorted with volatile frustration, and his hands clenched into fists.

"I apologise," You said calmly, doing your best to defuse the situation. "I didn't mean to upset you. What would you like me to call you then?"

He took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm himself down. His shoulders slumped, and his expression softened slightly.

"Just call me by my nickname, okay?" he urged, voice a tad less sharp now, but it's still enough to pierce. "Hui is fine. I hate my name! It's ugly. I want to forget about it𑁋I want everyone to forget about it! That name doesn't exist anymore, got it?"

"Of course, I understand." You leaned back forward in your chair, slow and cautiously. "But I want you to tell me why you stole crayons from Chaewon earlier in the rec room."

Hui only scoffed in response. "It's not that big of a deal. I only took a few from her. She'll forget about it."

"You took something from someone else without permission, Hui," You explained matter-of-factly. "That's a violation of their personal space and boundaries."

Hui's focus darted around the room for a moment, lips pursed and fingers messing around with the frays of his hospital gown. Then his gaze hardened once more as he landed back on you. His silence was almost unsettling as it stretched between you, but you remained patient, waiting for him to offer an explanation.

"Fine, whatever," he muttered, finally relenting. "I wanted them for a project I'm working on, that's all."

"A project? What kind of project?"

"Back in group therapy... They wanted us to create something meaningful or something𑁋something that means a lot to us, and I needed the crayons for it. So I took them from her."

It took a couple of moments before you nodded, acknowledging his explanation. "I see, Hui. It's important to express yourself through art or projects, but it's also important to respect others' belongings. Try asking for what you need instead of taking it without permission, okay?"

Hui's response was a simple, noncommittal nod, eyes holding onto yours a moment too long.

"Now, the next time you're back in the rec room, please say sorry to Chaewon whenever you see her, okay?"

Again, all he did was nod begrudgingly, his expression showing a hint of reluctance.

"Good." You gave him a proud smile. "That's all for today. Tell me about your project next session, alright?"

You felt his eyes on you as you grabbed your case notes and stood up, before leaving him in his room. And even though you were out of his room, you swore you could still feel the weight of his gaze on you.

PRESENT DAY: 2023

You find Moon Jun sitting on the edge of the bed once entering inside of his room, gloved hands folded neatly in his lap. The mask obscures his face as usual, but his dark eyes lock onto yours the moment you walk inside. The dim lighting in the room casts long shadows on the walls, and you find yourself drawn into those shadows as you take a seat across from him.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Moon," You greet warmly, taking your usual seat across from him. "How has your day been so far?"

He doesn't immediately respond. There's a hint of curiosity in his hooded eyes, but it's devoid of warmth. It's subtle, almost imperceptible, but you've learned to pay attention to the smallest details when dealing with patients over the years. It still sends a shiver down your spine.

"Just been like any other day in this place," he finally replies coolly.

You offer a polite smile and proceed with the session. "Is there anything specific you'd like to discuss for today's session, Mr. Moon?"

He thinks for a moment, tapping his gloved fingers lightly against his knee. The rhythmic sound seems to echo in the room.

"Are you interested in mythology, doctor?" he asks, and the question was certainly something you didn't expect him to ask. He continues, "I've always had an interest in it growing up, so I was wondering if you did too."

You chuckle quietly. "I wish I could say the same, but... I guess I found it intriguing at times."

"Surely you must have heard some stories though." He giggles at this, unclasping his hands together and propping himself right at the edge of the bed so that he's leaning forward, his masked face closer to yours. The dim light makes it hard to see his features clearly, and the shadows in the room seem to grow darker, more pronounced. "Are you familiar with the creature, the phoenix?"

You pause for a moment to think, before giving a slow, careful nod. "I've... definitely heard of it."

"The phoenix," he murmurs, voice a soft, hypnotic cadence. "It's a beautiful creature of rebirth and fire, isn't it?"

The mention of fire makes you shift slightly in your seat.

"Mr. Moon, I'm not entirely sure where you're𑁋"

You're interrupted as he leans even closer, his masked face now mere inches from yours, his dark eyes locking onto yours with an intense and unsettling focus. The shadows play tricks on your vision, making it feel like the walls are closing in on you.

"I just find it fascinating," he continues. "The idea of burning away the old and rising from the ashes anew. It's like a fresh start, a chance to be reborn. Do you believe in second chances, doctor?"

You swallow the lump in your throat. His intense gaze, shrouded by the mask, seems to hold you almost captive and confined to the chair you sat on, and his words seem to echo in the confined space.

"I... I believe that everyone deserves a chance to heal and grow, Mr. Moon," You respond carefully, trying to regain your composure. "But it's also important to work through the past before embracing the future."

He tilts his head slightly, as if considering your words. The room remains eerily quiet, the shadows deepening around you.

"Do you believe people can truly change?" he asks, voice softer now, almost pleading.

You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of his question sitting right on your chest.

"I believe that change is possible, Mr. Moon," You reply gently, choosing your words with care. "People have the capacity to grow and evolve, and to make choices that lead to a more positive outlook. But this varies from person to person𑁋if they are willing to put in the effort to do so."

For a moment, the tension in the room seems to dissipate slightly. The shadows on the walls appear to retreat, and the dim light feels less suffocating.

"Doctor," he finally speaks, voice low despite only being the two of you in the room, like he's telling you a secret. "what if... those flames of the past have burned too brightly, leaving nothing but ashes behind?"

You furrow your brows. "I-I would say𑁋"

"It's what happened to me, doctor, don't you understand?" he snaps suddenly, standing up from the bed to step closer to you. "You can't possibly understand what it's like to fucking lose everything, to watch it all burn in front of your fucking eyes! This is why I did this𑁋I put my life into the phoenix. I burned what was left of me, and now I'm here, in this absolute hellhole."

"Mr. Moon, I need you to calm down, please𑁋"

There's a flash of anger that shoots through his eyes, the flame burning in his pupils brighter than before. The atmosphere grows tense in the snap of a finger, and you instinctively stand up to bring yourself in the direction of the door to the room, maintaining a safe distance, acutely aware of the limited space and the fact that you're alone with him. There's an emergency button within reach where you can call for help whenever needed.

You can't get yourself to respond, feeling frozen from the way you can feel your heart pounding anxiously in your chest from his close proximity. He takes a step back, his hands trembling slightly as he clenches and unclenches them. The room seems to regain a semblance of normalcy, but the tension still lingers in the air, and you still can't move.

You watch as he cowers back towards the bed, leaving you standing next to the door. You felt as if you've been holding your breath, like you were submerged underwater and your fight or flight instincts were kicking in.

"You won't give up on me, right, doctor?" he asks, and the way he says it so weakly, naively, makes your head spin. "You can trust me, right?"

You smooth out your white coat, placing yourself back down in the seat across from him anticipatingly.

"I... I trust you," You mutter meekly. "I won't give up on you."

The corner of his eyes crinkle again. He's smiling. You can see it through the mask.

"How lovely," he states sweetly. "We're on the right track, then."

"Y/N𑁋I mean Dr. L/N, are you okay?" Seokmin's voice comes up from behind as you walk yourself towards your office, feeling completely and utterly scatterbrained from the events of the past hour.

As Seokmin's voice reaches your ears, you take a deep breath to steady yourself. You turn to Seokmin and offer him a reassuring smile, though it doesn't quite reach your eyes, but seeing him in front of you already makes you feel a tad bit better.

"I'm fine, Seokmin, thank you." Your voice carries a hint of exhaustion and residual unease. "Just a challenging session, but I'm okay."

Seokmin just nods, but as you were about to turn around, he says, "If you... uh, ever need someone to talk to or anything, just know I'm here for you, okay? It can be tough, I've heard."

You smile gratefully at him, this time genuinely reaching your eyes. It feels like a breath of fresh air talking to him.

"Thank you," You tell him. "I might just have to take you up on that someday."

Seokmin scratches the back of his neck shyly and returns your smile with a warm one of his own. "Well, you know where to find me."

You stand still for a moment as Seokmin begins to dismiss himself away to resume his rounds, but just then, you feel a sudden idea pop up in your head.

"Seokmin, wait!" You exclaim after the man, who immediately turns around to the sound of your voice, peering at you worriedly. "Actually, there's something... Could you do me a favour?"

His eyes light up curiously. "Sure, what do you want me to do?"

You step up closer to him, looking around to ensure no one else was listening in.

"Can you help find me more information about the patient in 610?" You lean in, lowering your voice to a hushed tone. "I'd like to know more about his background, more than what's in his file right now, or just anything that might help me understand him better."

Seokmin raises a brow briefly but nods either way. "I'll see what I can do, Dr. L/N."

FLASHBACK: 2013

The rec room was buzzing with activity as you entered, giving a chance for patients to interact with others and engage in activities outside of their rooms. Laughter, conversation, and the occasional burst of youthful energy filled the air; it’s a striking comparison to the somber atmosphere of the individual therapy sessions you usually conducted.

As you glanced around to find Hui, you finally caught sight of the boy sitting alone at a table in the very corner of the room. He appeared seemingly engrossed on the piece of paper in front of him, an array of crayons sat on the table. His focus was so intense that he seemed completely oblivious to the world around him.

You approached Hui's table with a gentle smile. "Hui, how are you doing today?"

Hui looked up from his drawing, eyes meeting yours briefly. "I'm fine," he replied coldly. "Just drawing."

You glanced down at his artwork, which depicted a scene of fire and destruction. The flames consumed a house, while stick-figure people screamed in the windows, their tiny, distorted faces twisted in agony. The only colours there would be that of the orange and red gigantic flame that enveloped the jagged, blackened lines of the house.

"That's... quite a powerful drawing, Hui," You commented as you took a seat right next to him. "What made you choose this subject?"

He shrugged nonchalantly, eyes not leaving his paper. "It's just what I felt like drawing."

"Is this supposed to represent what happened to your family?"

Hui only continued to mindlessly colour his drawing, his crayon moving across the paper with deliberate strokes.

"Maybe," he replied stoically. "I saw it all happen, but I couldn't do anything."

You studied Hui's face for a moment, but his expression remained blank, his focus entirely on the drawing. His mien was calm, almost eerily so, in comparison to the disturbing scene of destruction right below his fingertips.

"Can you tell me more about what you saw, Hui?" You asked him.

He glanced at you briefly, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flicker of something in his eyes. But it was gone so quickly that you couldn't be sure if you had imagined it.

"I already told you," he pressed. "I saw the fire, and I watched everything burn. It wasn't my fault that it happened."

You nodded, acknowledging his words, and continued to watch him work on the drawing.

"Did you ever feel sad about what happened, Hui?" You questioned.

Hui's face only remained impassive as he answered, "It won't change anything."

You could only think about all the trauma he must have endured𑁋from losing his family and being the sole survivor of such a ruinous event, to having to deal with all the emotions at once that it must feel almost numbing inside of him.

"Did anyone help you during or after the fire, Hui?" You prodded calmly.

He still didn't look up from his drawing. "Some firefighters came, and they put out the fire. But they couldn't save my family."

You felt that pang of sympathy for Hui as he mentioned the firefighters' futile attempts to save his family all while he was waiting right outside the house. It was clear that the traumatic experience had locked his emotions away behind a stoic, desensitized façade.

"I'm sorry to hear about your family, Hui," You said softly. "It's completely okay to feel sad or angry about what happened."

Hui's hand paused briefly in its colouring, but he didn't look up. You glanced down to the paper, noticing that he was drawing something in the corner, almost appearing like some sort of bird, like some sort of crow or cardinal.

"I don't feel much about it anymore. It's just the way things are."

Your eyes drift from his drawing, concern deepening, but you understood that emotional numbing was a common coping mechanism for trauma survivors. In a way, it's like a protective shell around oneself to prevent further pain. The emotional scars ran deep, and sometimes, it was easier for them to keep their feelings at bay rather than confront the overwhelming grief and sorrow that lurked beneath the surface.

That is what you attributed with Hui𑁋what you always had when he first came here. And you promised him patience and that it took time to fully heal.

"I'll leave you be now, okay?" You stood up from the seat, giving the young boy a reassuring squeeze to the shoulder.

Hui doesn't respond, still engrossed in his drawing. You took a step back, leaving him to his artwork, and decided to check on some of the other children in the room for the time being.

You swore you could feel his eyes on you as you walked away.

PRESENT DAY: 2023

Your eyes are practically lasering holes right through the manila folder of Moon Jun's file.

The file only houses the basics𑁋his medical history, therapy notes, and observations from the staff. But there's something missing, something you can't quite put your finger on. His background information is limited, and there are no records of any family members or relatives listed. It's as if he appeared out of nowhere.

A knock on your office door makes you jump, and you quickly open your eyes to see Seokmin standing there with a stack of papers in his hands, concern etched on his face.

"Sorry, did I startle you?" he asks, stepping inside your office.

You offer a tired smile. "A bit, but it's okay. Come in."

Seokmin walks further into your office, closing the door lightly behind him. He takes a moment to study your expression, clearly noticing the exhaustion and frustration on your face. You let out a sigh and lean back in your chair, rubbing your temples with your fingertips as Seokmin sits down right across from you.

"So, I tried to do some digging, as you asked." Seokmin places the stack of papers on the desk. "It wasn't easy to look into his medical history, but I think this might be important."

You straighten up in your chair, your exhaustion momentarily forgotten as you lean in to examine the stack of papers Seokmin has brought. However, what you expected is to see information regarding him, but instead, you see news reports.

"I... I don't know if any of these can be related, but I found a few unsolved cases of arson over the years. It might be the cause of his facial scarring," Seokmin explains. "I think one of them happened at an orphanage, another at an abandoned warehouse nearby, and another at a small church a few miles from here."

You carefully pick up one of the articles and start to read the details. The article mentions a fire at an orphanage several years ago that resulted in the tragic loss of lives. The incident remained unsolved, with no clear cause identified. Then you come across another article about the fire at the warehouse, and it, too, was a case that had perplexed investigators, leaving it unsolved.

"...and I also think there was one about a family from around... nine? Ten years ago? I didn't read all the details of it, but I believe only one survived𑁋"

That's when you feel your heart drop all the way down to the ground, into the ground at that point, eyes widening as the gasp that leaves your mouth cuts Seokmin off. You're already standing up, fingers trembling, as you frantically shuffle through the articles he had provided for you.

"Where can I find that one? Is it here?"

Your adamancy surprises Seokmin as he scrambles through the papers before taking one out and offering it to you. You take the article from his hands. The paper is slightly crumpled, and the ink is faded, but the headline is still clear: "Family Tragedy Claims Lives, Sole Survivor Emerges."

The only survivor was a teenage boy, whose name was redacted from the article for privacy.

But you know exactly who it is.

The article describes how he had been found by the firefighters, huddled on the lawn outside the burning house, his eyes blank with shock. Authorities had attempted to investigate, but the case quickly went cold due to lack of evidence. It also mentions that the boy had lost his entire family that night and was assumed to be too traumatised to provide any coherent information about the fire's cause, which later caused him to be sent to a psychiatric facility due to the trauma.

"Doctor, what is this?" Seokmin interrupts your thoughts as he brings up another paper from view.

You glance up from the article to meet Seokmin's gaze, the urgency in his eyes mirroring your own. He unfolds it carefully, and as your eyes scan the headline, your heart sinks further: "Tragic Fire Engulfs Local Psychiatric Facility."

As you read through it, you swear you feel the same flames dancing up the skin of your arms. This article reports a fire that occurred exactly ten years ago at the very psychiatric facility where both you and Seokmin currently work. You were there that night. It was only your first year as a psychologist at the facility, still learning the ropes of your profession. The memories you've long tried to suppress come flooding back.

The sound of alarms blaring, the acrid smell of smoke, the frantic efforts to evacuate patients, and the feeling of utter helplessness as the flames consumed parts of the facility. It had left scars on your soul, scars you thought you had buried deep over the years.

That boy was one of your first ever patients.

Your arms are itching again, and you can almost feel the searing heat from that night a decade ago.

"Y/N, are you... are you okay?" Seokmin asks. You can see the worry in his eyes, but you're not sure if you can answer his question.

You swallow hard, your throat dry as you try to find your voice. "Yeah, I just... Sorry, reading this article, and..."

That's when Seokmin gets it. "Were you..." His eyes lower down to where one of your hands is clawing anxiously at the sleeves of your arm, and he immediately takes away the article from view. "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. I didn't know you were..."

You manage a weak smile as you bring your arms back down to your side, hugging yourself instead. "It's alright. You didn't know."

Seokmin doesn't seem entirely convinced, for a moment feeling stuck on what to say. "Are you sure that you're up for this? We can always𑁋"

"Yes," You say boldly. "It'll be okay."

You take a deep breath.

"I'll be okay."

"You seem troubled today, doctor."

In the dimly lit room, Moon Jun's observation is shrewd as always, whose calculating eyes seem to analyse every twitch of your expression as you both sit in the room together, right across from each other, with him hovering over you while you felt feeling like a cowering mouse trapped in a cage.

You flash him a faint, grateful smile. "I appreciate your concern, but let's focus back on you now, shall we?"

"Uh-uh, doctor," he taunts, crossing his arms together and shaking his head dismissively. Even in the darkness of the room, you swear you see his lips curl into a smirk under that damn mask of his. "If I'm not mistaken, you said at the very beginning that I have control over what I want to talk about in our sessions. I realise I hardly know anything about you! Isn't that funny? I consider you a dear friend, you know. You're the only person in this place who even makes the effort to talk with me."

The weight of his words suspend like a dense fog. You can hear the faint hum of the ventilation system, see the way the lone light fixture in the room seems to flicker intermittently. It plays tricks on your perception, making his features appear to morph and shift, all while his eyes are practically dissecting you.

"Friendship... is built on trust," You reply cautiously. "But our sessions are designed for your benefit. My role here is to help you, not the other way around, and my personal life is not relevant for this."

He leans in closer, his eyes never leaving yours, and you can feel his intense focus like a physical weight. You're caught in the gravitational pull of his eyes, his relentless gaze that seems to strip away your defenses. "But, doctor, how can you truly help me if you don't open up a little?"

He tilts his head, the mask inches away from your face, his eyes boring into yours.

"We could be more than what we are right now, couldn't we, doctor?" he whispers, feeling his cold breath against your skin even through the mask, and you close your eyes. "I could make you feel things you've never felt before𑁋"

"Stop! Please!" You yell out unexpectedly, hearing nothing but the unsteadiness of your breaths and the echo of your own voice in the dim room. Your eyes snap back open; he's not hovering over you, and the disturbing scenario you had just experienced was nothing more than a figment of your imagination.

Instead, Moon Jun is calmly seated away from you, watching you intently from the bed. There's a curious glint in his eyes, one that suggests he's found your reaction to be rather... entertaining.

"Doctor, you do seem to be quite troubled today," he remarks almost playfully, voice dripping with amusement that shoots goosebumps up your skin. "Seeing things, aren't we?"

You can't quite find the words to respond, and the sensation of his cold breath against your skin still lingers in your memory.

"You must think about me a lot, day and night possibly, if you imagine such things," he teases, and you feel the way his words crawl under your skin. "You probably wonder what lies behind this mask of mine, don't you? You're a special friend𑁋perhaps you deserve to see it."

You watch the way his gloved fingers toy with the edges of his mask, and for a moment, it seems like he's contemplating something. The room is so silent that you can hear your own heart pounding in your chest.

Then without warning, he reaches up and slowly starts to peel off the mask, revealing the face hidden beneath. Your breath catches in your throat as his visage is unveiled.

His face is tainted by a network of scars, the skin tissue looking raw and discoloured. The scars extend from his jawline up to his cheeks and forehead, giving his face an almost grotesque and nightmarish appearance. Some scars look like they were caused by something sharp, while others appear more like burns. There were also some that seemed almost... fresher than others. His lips, once hidden by the mask, are twisted into a smirk that sends shivers down your spine.

"You wanted to see, didn't you, doctor?" he asks, voice low and taunting. "You wanted to know what's behind this mask."

You can't tear your gaze away from his disfigured face, and you're overwhelmed by a mix of curiosity, horror, and a strange fascination.

"Are you surprised, doctor?" he continues, voice now tinged with mockery. "Do I look like a monster to you?"

You can't seem to respond just yet, eyes still peering over him as if trying to discern the features of his face. There's this wave of familiarity that seems to hit you, as if you've seen those certain details before. A nagging feeling tugs at the corners of your memory like a half-forgotten dream.

You squint, trying to connect the dots between the disfigured face before you and the dim recollection buried deep within your mind. The way the scars twist and curl, the faint traces of burn marks𑁋it's all so eerily and hauntingly familiar. You swear you've seen those eyes before. He watches your expression closely, as if he can read your thoughts, and those eyes that seem to follow your every move, your every thought𑁋

And then it hits you. It hits you like a freight train on the tracks that was beyond avoidable. It hits you like a tidal wave crashing against the shore of your conscience, leaving wreckage to be abandoned and forgotten forever in its wake. It hits you like a thunderstorm tearing apart a peaceful, sunny day.

"Hui...?" is all you manage to choke out.

Images from the past flash before your eyes𑁋Hui, the young boy you once knew, whose face was marked with troubled innocence and a haunting vulnerability that had drawn you to him in the first place. You had watched him grow, had nurtured the fragile trust he had placed in you. You recall your early sessions together, hearing all the painful details of the fire that had torn his life apart.

His smirk deepens, and his eyes gleam with an uncanny satisfaction.

"Hui died ten years ago, doctor," he says with a cold, haunting certainty. "He died in that same fire that set this place ablaze. I'm sure you remember that very well, don't you?"

The room seems to close in on you, and the memories of that fateful night come rushing back like a torrential downpour. The fire, the chaos, the screams. It had been a nightmarish scene, etched into your memory like the faint scars that plague your arms from that very night.

But before you could respond, you felt something vibrate in your pocket. It's the end of your session.

FLASHBACK: 2013

The fire alarm rang.

It was blaringly loud, completely jolting you out of your chair in the silence that carried through your office. Your heart raced as the panic had begun to sink in, the blood-red light of the alarm painted the muted colours of your office walls with a surreal, macabre-like glow, and the acrid scent of smoke was beginning to fill your lungs.

You reached for the door handle, but your trembling hands fumbled, and it wouldn't budge. You tried again and again, the cold sweat on your palms making it even more difficult to grip.

"Wh-What the hell?" You shakily muttered to yourself, before bringing your fists up to pound on the door. "Hello? Someone help me! I'm in here! Someone!"

The panic intensified as the fire alarm continued its relentless wail as you continued to pound on the door. Smoke started to seep in from the edges of your office door, and you could feel the heat of the flames approaching. You coughed, choking on the sharp fumes that stung your throat. It felt like the walls were closing in on you. Fuck, fuck, what do you do? How the hell was the fire spreading so fast?

You were trapped. You were going to die.

The windows! You remembered the windows. Desperation drove you to the large window on the wall. Instinctively, you grabbed a chair and used it to break it, the sound of shattering glass ringing in your ears, the shards grazing against your skin and the palm of your hands, making you let out a sharp gasp. Blood trickled from the cuts on your hands, and as you peered down to the ground below, you realised that you were too high above the ground for a safe jump.

The fire was only getting closer and closer.

As you hesitated by the shattered window, a muffled voice from the hallway reached your ears. "Is anyone in there? We're trying to get you out!"

Your eyes widened as you stumbled back to the door. "I'm in here! Please help!"

"Step back! We're breaking down the door!"

You stepped back from the window as much as you could and away from the smoke, feeling the flames inching closer. Your vision blurred as you fought to breathe, eyes stinging with tears from the dry air.

Moments later, a loud crash resounded through the room as the door burst open. A group of firefighters rushed in, their protective gear making them look like otherworldly figures emerging from the haze. They quickly located you, wrapped you in a fire-resistant blanket, and led you to safety.

Once you were outside, an emergency medical team checked you over for any injuries, plastered up your arms, and administered oxygen. You were shaken, bruised, and suffering from smoke inhalation, but you were alive. Somehow. In some way.

Then, you found your mind drifting back to Hui. Did he manage to get out safely? Where was he? Questions swirled in your mind as you watched the firefighters work tirelessly to contain the blaze. God, he must not be in the right state of mind after witnessing yet another fire himself.

"Excuse me..." You weakly called out to a paramedic, voice barely a whisper.

The paramedic turned to you, concern etched on their face beneath their protective gear. "Yes, are you okay?"

You swallowed hard, barely getting your words together. "I was in there... in the building. I have some patients... uh... Do you know if they made it out? I need to know if they're safe."

The paramedic exchanged a glance with another passing colleague, eyes hidden behind their mask, before returning back to you and shaking their head.

"We're still searching for survivors and dealing with the fire," they explained. "We can't give you any information right now. I'm truly sorry. I'll let them know to keep a lookout. Can you describe them for me?"

You described what your other patients and what Hui looked like as much as you could, and the emergency worker took down all the information before walking away to tend to others.

The silence that followed was suffocating, perhaps even more than what you endured inside the building, and you found it difficult to hold back tears of frustration from flowing down your face.

As the smoke gradually dissipated and the flames were brought under control, the once-deafening alarm was reduced to sporadic chirps and the occasional distant rumble of falling debris. The scene around you was one of destruction, merely charred remains of a place that was filled with hope and healing.

You glanced down at your trembling, injured hands and arms and see the cuts from the shattered window, yet the physical pain was nothing compared to the anguish in your heart, and the fear and guilt that gnawed at you. You lost patients whom you had sworn to protect, had sworn𑁋no, promised to heal.

It was only when the search and rescue teams began to wind down their efforts that you realised the search for Hui had come with no results. All of your other patients were safe, but him. There was no sign of him anywhere, as if he slipped off the face of the earth.

A firefighter approached you some time later, his face covered in soot appearing both exhausted and empathetic.

"I'm sorry," he spoke, voice heavy with regret and defeat. "We've searched every area we could access, but we haven't found anyone else. The fire was intense, and... I'm truly sorry."

His words hit you like a hammer blow, and you felt your heart sink even further. You had dedicated your life to saving others, and yet it seemed that you might have failed to save one.

"Thank... Thank you for trying," You mumbled to the firefighter, nodding in acknowledgement. "And thank you for risking your lives to save us."

PRESENT DAY: 2023

The clouds outside obscure any hints of sunlight, and the overcast sky casts a sad, grey hue over the world outside. The room feels dim and lonely despite the overhead lights. You try to ignore that particular gnawing feeling to your skin as you sit at your desk, waiting for your next session with Moon Jun to start. It'll happen anytime now𑁋perhaps the more you anticipate will make time go by slower.

However your thoughts are interrupted by the soft knock at your door, and you look up to see Seokmin standing there. He offers you a warm smile as you motion for him to come inside, and you swear you see small ray of sunshine break through the clouds outside at the corner of your eye.

"Hey, how're you holding up?" he asks. "I wanted to check up on you."

You tilt your head a bit giddily at the sight of him. "We just had lunch break together, Seokmin."

He rolls his eyes at this, scratching the back of his neck bashfully. "I know, I know, but I... Well, is there a rule here that says I can't see you twice in one day when we're not working?"

Your lips purse together thoughtfully. "I guess not."

"Good." He grins, but it's quick to fade once he takes another look at you. "so... how have you been?"

The soft concern in Seokmin's voice is almost like a comforting hug for your ragged nerves. Normally it's your duty to ask your patients those kinds of questions, not the other way around. You offer him a tired but appreciative smile as he settles into the chair across from your desk. It's a rare moment when the roles are reversed, even if it's just for one short minute.

"You look tired," Seokmin points out, and it makes you let out a chuckle, even though it's tinged with weariness.

"You have a good eye, Seokmin," You reply playfully, and he blushes at this. "Do you want to know what I've been dreaming about the past few weeks?

Seokmin thinks about it for a second, then his eyes widen slightly.

"Is it... the fire?" he queries, hoping there's that small chance he might be wrong.

Your steady gaze meets his.

"Yes," You admit casually. "It's always the fire."

Or specifically, it's the fire and the guilt that you weren't able to save anyone, and it had been eating away at you ever since that fateful day.

His face softens at this, then he feels himself hesitate for a brief moment, before slowly reaching out to place his hand over yours on the desk. His touch is warm and reassuring, and you can feel the genuine concern in his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry you have to go through that, I wish there was a way I could... you know, stop you from reliving those kinds of things." His words make your lips twitch upwards, and he knows he's done something right. He finishes your smile with one of his own. "But... you're not alone in this. Just know I'm here."

"You've been helping me this entire time, Seokmin," You assure him. "If anything, I should be the one thanking you."

The weight of all the memories and unhealed scars left behind still cling to you like shadows. But in the presence of Seokmin, the burdens seem a little lighter, the darkness a bit less suffocating. The room seems a bit less lonely as you both sit there, just like all the days you eat lunch together where you seem to look forward to seeing him sit with you, and the sound of the clock ticking on the wall serves as a reminder that time keeps moving forward.

Before you know it, it's as if you've been struck by a gong that you could only hear, and you knew it was time to move forward with your session. You take your hand away from Seokmin as you stand up, and he follows suit.

"Y/N, wait, um..." Seokmin stops you before you could leave, and you turn back to him. "If something bad happens, or if you need anything, don't hesitate to reach out to me, even outside of work. I... want to make sure you're okay."

His words warm your heart, and you shoot him a thankful look.

"I know I can," You say, while opening the door to the outside of your office. "Thank you, Seokmin."

When you enter inside room 610, you spot Moon Jun sitting on the chair that you were supposed to sit in, his posture relaxed and arms crossed almost impatiently. He didn't wear the mask on his face, and he appeared confident, somewhat smug. It was the only other chair in the room. The other place for you to sit would be... the bed. This isn't how a typical therapy session begins.

"Doctor, I was just thinking about you!" he exclaims excitedly. "Please, go ahead and sit down on the bed. I thought it would be great to change things up a little. You wouldn't mind, would you?"

You hesitate for a moment, glancing between him and the bed. Maintaining your professionalism, you make your way to the bed and sit down, folding your hands in your lap. Something brushes against your leg for a moment, you look down to see a sheet of paper sitting next to you, and a plethora of crayons resting on top.

"Please bare with me for the mess, I was busy drawing before you came in," he tells you, voice almost cheery and... delighted?

As you sit on the bed, his demeanour only raises more questions than answers. He appears unusually relaxed, and his eagerness is disturbing. It's unlike him.

"Of course, that's fine with me," You tell him casually.

There's a grin that spreads across his scarred face, and it brings an uncomfortable twist to your stomach, but you don't let it show, though at this point you feel that he can sense your nervousness, your unease, knowing there's history between you two you thought to have burned away in the back of your mind.

Yet it had all come back just like his reemergence back into your life𑁋into something more sinister.

"He talks to me sometimes, even though he's perished in the flames," Jun begins, grabbing the paper right next to you. "You remember his drawings, right? Back in that big, bright room... where beneath all those smiles of the other patients was just... hopelessness."

Then he flips the paper over, and you find yourself peering at a drawing of flames, and the uncanny similarity to Hui's artwork all those years ago cannot be ignored. You see the same vivid depiction of flames, the swirling reds and oranges dancing on the page, and the black lines of its remains. But more than that, it's the emotions that these drawings evoke, the overwhelming sense of dread, and the traumatic memories that it unsheathes. He's the personification of the fire that scarred you all those years ago.

You feel a lump form in your throat. "Hui..."

"I-I am not Hui!" he wails out unexpectedly, voice shaking with anger. His hand grips the crayon so tightly that it snaps in his grasp, the colour streaking across the paper. "Hui is dead, remember? Burned by the flames?"

"If you're not Hui, then who are you?" You ask almost pleadingly.

His fingers toy with the broken crayon as he leans in closer, his disfigured face mere inches from yours. His gaze pierces through you like a knife, and in the dimly lit room, the shadows play tricks on his scarred face, making his disfigurement seem even more malformed.

"The phoenix, don't you remember, doctor?" He chuckles lowly. "It's a creature reborn from the ashes of its own destruction, risen from the flames just like me. Rebirth and fire, doctor! You haven't been paying attention, have you?"

You sense the panic seeping inside you, causing your heart to race. His words send shivers down your spine, and you realise that he's explaining with a belief that goes beyond mere delusion, beyond repair. The scars on his face are only a fraction of the damage done. He claims to have risen from the ashes, taking on a new identity, giving him this motive of... cleaning the world with fire.

Cleaning the world...

...with fire.

Ashes of its own destruction....

"You..." You slowly rise up from the bed, the room suddenly feeling too confining. The door seemed like it was miles away, and you find your breathing shaky and unsteady. "You were... you caused those fires, didn't you?"

His eyes fixate and narrow down on you as you stand up from the bed, and a sly smile spreads across his scarred face. His gaze is intense, and you feel like you're trapped. You recall the sessions you had with him years ago that you thought were leading him toward healing. But now, you face a man who has fully embraced a twisted ideology.

"I didn't cause those fires," he responds with eerie calmness. "I simply set things in motion."

"You𑁋You killed innocent people, you were the one... from ten years ago... You𑁋"

"They were all lost, meaningless, and I brought meaning to their lives. What's so hard to understand?" he deadpans.

"You killed your family," You state. "How can... how can you justify that?"

"Hui killed his family, I didn't," he claims, crumpling up the piece of paper in his hands. "Hui started all of this, I'm merely just a follower. He was misunderstood his entire life, and you promised him healing, which you didn't fulfill."

The room feels like it's boiling you alive, and you're stuck in an endless maze of his twisted delusions. There's a sense of helplessness as you try to reach through to the man behind the scars, the one who once sought your help, but you fear that he's too far gone.

"Jun, this isn't the answer. The… the phoenix is not real,” You plead, your voice trembling. "Hui was troubled, yes, but violence is not the path to understanding or redemption. It only leads to more pain and destruction."

His expression only hardens as he throws the crumpled up piece of paper on the floor, gloved hands forming fists at his side.

"You think you can help people by sitting in your comfy chair, listening to their problems, and scribbling notes on a fucking notepad." He scoffs annoyedly, leaning back in his chair. "You're just like all the others, doctor, so dumb and worthless. You never understood... You say that you do, but you don't."

And just as you were about to speak, you watch him pull something out of the pocket of his patient gown. You squint your eyes, and a gasp shudders out of you when you notice what's in his hands.

A lighter.

"You people are just so gullible, all while you're thinking you're helping," he mutters, flicking the lighter on. The tiny flame dances at the tip, casting bizarre shadows across his scarred face. "When in reality, you're laughing behind our backs with your stupid cigarettes and your fancy degrees. You wouldn't believe the things you can find in a place like this. It's amazing what people leave lying around."

There's an arrow that penetrates through your heart, an arrow of betrayal, helplessness. How can he think of you this way when you dedicated your entire time to helping him heal all those years ago? How can he, of all people, not see that your intentions were always to provide support and understanding?

You can feel the room heating up, not just from the small flame but from the growing tension. Jun's eyes are locked onto the flickering fire of the lighter, and his words are plagued with bitter resentment. You attempt to scurry to the door, but he blocks your way, nearly shoving the flame of the lighter in your face.

"Don't you see how beautiful this is, doctor?" he utters in a trance-like state, as if the flame was hypnotising him. The orange and yellow hues reflect onto his soulless eyes. He moves the lighter dangerously close to your face, and you can feel the searing heat radiating from the tiny inferno at the tip of your nose.

Your heart pounds like a beating drum, beads of sweat form on your forehead, and your breathing quickens as panic threatens to engulf you. But his gaze only remains possessed on the fire, as if he's being consumed by the very flames he holds in his hands.

"It's so beautiful how something so small can hold so much power," he murmurs, voice barely more than a whisper.

"This... This isn't the way to find meaning or healing," You respond, slowly backing away from him, trying to create some distance between the flame and yourself. "Fire and destruction only lead to more suffering, more pain. It's not the answer, Jun."

For a split second, something flickers in Jun's eyes, as if a fragment of his former self tries to break free from the shackles of his obsession. But it's a fleeting moment, quickly devoured by his fixation on the fire.

"There are... There are people who want to help you. Don't you remember all of our sessions together? All the... all the breakthroughs we had? You were making progress, Jun. You were on your way to healing." You bring your hand up as if in defense, watching him closely as he steps the tiniest inch closer to you. "I... I want to help you, I always have. I..."

He stares at you, and for a moment, it seems like your words might be getting through to him.

"Let me help you, Hui."

But just when you think your words may have struck a chord, his face contorts into a menacing grin and you can see the flame reflect onto his eyes. The last fragile thread of sanity that seemed to linger has snapped.

"You failed Hui that night, just like you failed me." He chuckles darkly. "You couldn't save us. Do you really think you can save everyone, doctor? Do you really think all the patients you've helped all these years are any better off now?"

Now, you found yourself speechless, a tight grip around your throat from his words.

He laughs coldly, waving the flame in front of your face once more. "You're so blind, doctor. You want to heal and save everyone, but you can't save me, and you can't save yourself. I can see it in your eyes."

He’s getting in your head, you know he is. He's trying to loosen your grip on whatever reality is𑁋attempting to unravel in your mind that you were, in some way, responsible for the events that had occurred over the years, forcing you to succumb to the guilt placed on your shoulders. You've never dealt with someone so deeply rooted to their own twisted reality. You can't reason with him.

It's impossible.

But you refuse to be the victim of your own past just like you had made yourself to be.

"Junhui," You call out urgently, and the use of his real name brings a harsh, foreign taste to your tongue. You notice the way he flinches slightly to it. "That person still exists inside you𑁋I-I know it does. Please, let that part of you come back. I'm here to listen, to understand, and to help. No matter what you believe."

The flame continues to sway at the end of the lighter, yet his face remains deformed into that unsettling grin, but your words seem to have given him a momentary pause.

"You think you can bring him back?" he hisses, bringing the flame away from your face, stretching his arm out toward the side. "He's dead, doctor. It's too late."

And with that, he tosses the lighter in the direction of the bed, and a cascade of flames quickly engulf the sheets, the crayons, the drawing, everything. Horror sets in as you watch the fire rapidly spreading, consuming the room, and overhead the fire alarm screams into action.

"Isn't it beautiful, doctor?" he guffaws as the flames devour the room, eyes wide with awe. "It's so perfect... So beautiful..."

Nothing but Jun's laughter fills the air as he watches the flames lick up the once-white walls with a maniacal fascination. The flames flicker and crackle loudly, casting shifting shadows on the walls of the room. You dart towards the door, but the intense heat and smoke make it nearly impossible to breathe or see, and you cover your mouth and nose with your hand. Coughing and vision disoriented, you stumble and hit the floor with a thud, weakly pounding your fists against the door.

"Someone help!" You shout desperately, the words barely escaping your mouth. "Someone help! I-I'm in here! Anyone, please!"

The room is suffocating you whole. You can hardly even see where Jun is amidst all the smoke, yet his laughter still rings in your ears, fogging away all your thoughts. You keep pounding on the door, voice hoarse from shouting, skin tingling with heat, but there's no response from the other side.

So this is how you're going to die, You think to yourself, leaning back against the wall like you were accepting your fate, and the thought makes you chuckle at the irony.

Time seems to stretch into eternity. But just when it feels like all hope is lost, the door bursts open, and a strong hand reaches in, grabbing your arm and pulling you out of the room and into the chaotic corridor. In the corridor, the fresh air is quick to fill up your lungs. You gasp for breath, your heart racing, while the fire alarm continues to blare.

It's Seokmin who pulled you from the room, and you can hardly make out his face from your stinging, watery eyes. He wraps a protective arm around you as you both stumble away from the dangerous room, mixing with the rushing crowd of staff and patients all being guided outside to their safety.

"Y/N, are you okay?! Stay with me!" Seokmin continues to pull you through the corridor, shielding you from anything that you might run into.

You only manage a weak nod, still coughing from all the smoke. Your mind is racing, and you can hardly tell where you were going, but you trust Seokmin's guidance as he leads you further away from the scene of the fire. The sounds of sirens and shouting surround you, and the sight of the smoke floating out from the room you just escaped haunts your thoughts.

When the brightness of the outside hits your eyes, you catch your breath and fall out of Seokmin's grasp and down to the ground. Firefighters and police officers quickly brush past you and into the building as Seokmin pulls you up once more to lead you in the direction of the paramedics and ambulances.

"Here, sit down." Seokmin places you on the stair of the ambulance and helps you out of your white coat before wrapping a blanket around you. "Can we get some help over here?"

A paramedic approaches, checking you over and providing oxygen to help clear your lungs of all the smoke you inhaled. Your heart is still pounding in your chest as you sit there, trying to process what just happened.

Seokmin places himself right next to you, scanning over your features closely. You look over at him, and he gives you a reassuring smile, pushing away some disheveled strands of hair so he could properly see your face.

"You're going to be okay," he assures you, rubbing some comforting circles on your back. "Just take deep breaths and try to relax. They'll take you to the hospital to make sure you're alright."

You give him a nod, feeling a bit more security from him than the blanket draped over your shoulders right now. The two of you sit there for a few minutes, calmly watching the chaos begin to subside. It didn't look like the fire damaged much in terms of the outside of the building.

"I'm going to see if I could help around," Seokmin says, standing up. "Just stay here, okay? I'll be back before they take you to the hospital."

Just as he begins to walk away, you hesitate for a second, before calling out his name, "Hey, Seokmin?"

He turns back to you, a look of concern in his eyes. "Yes? Do you need something?"

You reach out your hand toward Seokmin, silently gesturing for him to come closer. He approaches, and without a word, you pull him into a tight hug. You feel him freeze in your grasp, before his arms fully encircle you in return, tightening the hug, and for a moment, the world around fades away as you hold onto each other. You can feel his heart beat a bit faster than normal against your chest, but you don't acknowledge it, and neither does he.

Eventually, you reluctantly pull away from the hug, but you don't let go of Seokmin's hand just yet.

"Thank you," You whisper. "for everything."

His gaze softens as he looks at you, before glancing away shyly. It makes you chuckle.

"No need to," he tells you. "I'm... I'm just happy you're safe."

The two of you stay like that for a moment, with you closing your eyes to steady your breathing while Seokmin continues to hold your hand, and you can feel the tension in your body slowly easing.

Seokmin's smile is warm, and he squeezes your hand gently. "I'll be back soon, okay? Just hang in there."

With that, he leaves your side to assist the emergency responders, leaving you seated on the ambulance's stairs, wrapped in a blanket. Your brows furrow together, trying to make sense of the situation and all the events that just transpired. The fear, the confusion, the mania that gripped the lost man back in that room𑁋it all swirls within your mind. The lingering scent of smoke fills your nose, and you swear and you can still feel the heat on your skin even though the air was cool outside.

As you sit there, lost in thought, suddenly feeling disconnected from the world around you, you find yourself questioning the nature of your profession and everything you ever believed about it. Could you have done something differently? Were there signs you missed that might have prevented this particular descent in delusion? Was he right, and you were blind this entire time? Not just for him, but for everyone you've helped?

Were you really this dumb and worthless?

Or perhaps was it impossible to save him this entire time...

...and he was too far gone?

That hefty burden of guilt, both for your inability to help him in the past and in the present, weighs heavily on your shoulders. What's for sure is that this will forever be an image tainted in your mind, scarred just like the man who brought destruction and chaos to your life today, and that particular day ten years ago.

You don't know how long you sat there until Seokmin returns, yet when he comes up to you, his face appears disturbed and... paranoid?

"They've got the fire under control. It didn't spread much farther than the room," he informs you, catching his breath. "It seems like nobody else was hurt."

"That's good to hear." Your eyes roam over his features, taking in the tense expression to his face. "Is... is everything okay? How about..."

He sits down beside you, expression still apprehensive. You can see the flicker of concern in his eyes, and the remnants of the chaos from moments ago are still evident in the way he holds himself. His gaze meets yours, and you notice a small shift in his demeanour, as if there's something he's struggling to express.

Seokmin darts his attention around, as if making sure no one was listening in, before taking a deep breath and leaning in.

"They... They said they didn't find his body in the room," he mutters, and it's so quiet you hardly make out what he says. "It's... It's like he escaped."

Your heart drops. A sinking feeling settles in your chest. Dread washes over you at his words.

"W-What?"

another another note: sorry if u expected some sort of romance w jun (which would kinda be weird for the story tbh), but feel free to imagine whatever u want w our dear seokmin. cgrats on making it to the end of the longest oneshot i’ve made so far on this blog 😍🫶

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @ylliris-hanniehae @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair @wonwooz1 @rubywonu @etherealyoungk

572 notes · View notes

dearly-somber · 2 years ago

Text

Naked | j.jk

-> pairing. wolf shifter!jungkook x human!reader (f)

-> genre. slow burn, eventual romance, fluff, pining, f2l (friends-to-lovers), eventual smut, humor, angst, drama

-> w/c. 1729

-> rating. 13+

-> a/n. Thank you all so much for the love for this couple, y’all have motivated me a lot and I can’t put into words how much I appreciate it <33

-> warnings. suggestive; a lil’ ✨angsty✨

-> collection. mini-series

-> started. Jun. 30th, 2022 @ 18:25

-> fin. Mon., Jul. 30th, 2022 @ 23:27

-> edited. Thurs., Oct. 9th, 2023 @ 12:33

-> divider credit. @mmadeinheavenn, @saradika-graphics

Finding out that your best friend turns into a glorified dog isn’t something you had on your bingo card this year.

You were staying over at Jungkook’s house to finish a History project worth 25% of your final grade, but you ended up falling asleep halfway through. (Oops!)

When you woke up, it wasn’t to the annoyingly smug expression of one incredibly chuffed Jeon Jungkook, but to the silky smooth fur and wet-nosed touch of a fully grown wolf.

You screamed like a shower victim in an 80s horror movie and fell off the bed with a painful thud, the wolf peeking over the edge of the bed with a strangely concerned yip. You screamed again and pushed yourself to your feet, booking it downstairs two at a time (a maneuver that would’ve cost you your life any other day) before slamming into Jisoo halfway through the living room. You held onto her arms with wide, frightened eyes.

You were on the verge of tears, panicking to Jisoo about how “there’s a fucking wolf in Jungkook’s bedroom and oh god I think it ate him oh my god,” when Jungkook barreled down the stairs while pulling a crinkled black tee over his stomach.

Jisoo glared at the maknae, looking pointedly at you (Lisa had taken hold of your shoulders and tried helping you through breathing exercises) and then back at him, her hands on her hips. “What happened?”

Jungkook looked between the two of you, a particularly pained look crossing his face at your glossy eyes and heaving shoulders. “I’m— I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he mumbles.

“You couldn’t just fall asleep normally?” Jisoo snapped exasperatedly, ignoring your confused back-and-forth looks.

“He wouldn’t stop whining and making a fuss and I didn’t think she’d wake up so soon!” Jungkook yelled desperately, looking nearly as upset as you felt.

“Wait, wait, wait. You guys are—where’s the wolf?” you asked incredulously, wiping furiously at your eyes as you strode forward to stand next to Jisoo.

“He’s—he’s not out anymore… And he wouldn’t dream of hurting you,” Jungkook said, stepping toward you with his arms open. You took a panicked step back, confused and scared and so, so lost.

“Are you telling me… Are you a werewolf?”

“Shifter,” Yoongi corrected from where he was lounging on the couch (you hadn’t noticed him in your panic). “Why do you humans always assume we’re werewolves?”

“You shapeshift into a wolf. That makes you a werewolf,” you sassed, quickly backing away at his intense, annoyed glare.

Jisoo sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, muttering something under her breath before turning an accusatory glare on Jungkook. “Take your friend upstairs and explain to her what’s going on. I’ll talk to Namjoon.”

Jungkook nodded obediently, a solemn look on his face as he reached for your wrist so he could tug you upstairs, wincing back when you flinched away from his touch.

He clenched and unclenched his fingers before dropping his hand to his side, beckoning you to follow him. “C’mon. We should talk.”

You sit with Jungkook on his bed, waiting for him to look up from his lap so he can finally explain to you what the fuck is going on.

You bite the inside of your cheek, eyes drifting to his hands. He’s picking at his nails, refusing to meet your eyes. As confused and shocked as you are, you can’t let him get in his head. His crestfallen face does dirty-dirty things to your heart, banging it up for making him look so sad.

You take a deep breath and reach to hold his hands in yours. Jungkook meets your eyes, his lip wobbling at the soft, patient look in your eyes. You squeeze his hand encouragingly, smiling at the way his eyes light up hopefully at your acceptance.

He inhales shakily and closes his eyes. “Me and my family are shifters. We have full control over when we shift, and we share a close connection with our wolves. Our souls are connected to help with the transitions between wolf and human, a thoughtful gift from our ancestors.

“I moved to Seoul when I was fifteen to try and find my own pack, and I met Jiminie hyung on the train ride over from Busan. We met Yoongi hyung at the bus stop outside of the train station and he offered to help us find the hostel we booked. Somewhere along the journey he must’ve taken a liking to us, because we were moving into the pack house the next day.”

Jungkook laughed fondly at the recollection, the tenseness in his shoulders gone as he spoke to you normally. “We’ve been training ever since to get better at controlling when we shift. Among…other things.” He blushes.

“I didn’t mean to scare you today,” he whispers.

You bite the inside of your cheek. A shifter. That was his explanation for…everything. The affection, the borderline-obsession with your scent, why he’s staying with a bunch of strangers instead of his parents.

Surprisingly, believing him isn’t the hardest part about the new information. “You guys… aren’t dangerous?”

“No,” Jungkook denies firmly, his thumb running over the back of your hand.

“Is that why you’re so touchy? Because of the…wolfier part of you?”

Jungkook scrunches his nose at your choice of words, but smiles softly. “Yeah. Physical closeness is normal and integral to shifter relationships,” he explains. “We have this thing called scenting, which is basically a more…concentrated way of showing affection. It’s also a way to kind of…claim you, I guess. To show you’re part of the pack.”

“But isn’t scenting a thing only mated wolves do?” you ask, frowning at the implications that would have on your relationship.

Jungkook shakes his head. “No, scenting can be romantic or plutonic. It’s dependent on where you scent,” he explains. “Couples usually do what we call ‘marking’, but I’ve heard about people who mark platonically.”

“Marking…as in?” You shift curiously. Shifter culture and biology is going to be something you ask a lot about, you think.

Jungkook blushes, avoiding your eyes as he clears his throat. Finally, he says, “Biting.”

“Biti—Jungkook,” you say, “you bit me a few days ago—“

He must hear the accusation in your voice because he frantically shakes his head. “No, no, no! That was play, I swear. Marking is much more… intimate.” Jungkook’s ears turn pink at the suspicious look you give him.

There’s a long beat of silence where you just kind of…stare at each other.

Jungkook can’t read you. He can’t help the tremble in his voice and the wobbling of his lower lip, looking at your intertwined hands. “You think it’s scary and unnatural, don’t you?”

“Jungkook…”

He smiles sadly. “It’s okay, I get it. We don’t have to be friends any—“

“Yah,” you furrow your brows with a squeeze of his hands, making him look at you. “I still wanna be your friend, Koo. This actually… explains a lot. It’s just a lot to take in,” you confess.

He still looks unsure of himself. And because you can’t stand seeing him sad, you shift toward him and bring your arms around his torso in a hug. He sniffles, burying his nose into your shoulder as his hands drift to the center of your back, clutching the fabric between his fingers.

It’s peaceful in his arms. Quiet. The only sound in the room is that of your combined breathing. Maybe he can even hear your heartbeat? You bite the inside of your cheek, patting his back gently. You wonder how it all works? They must shift pretty quickly, considering Jungkook had been downstairs only a minute or two after you. And he was pulling a shirt on when he was coming down the stairs…

“I don’t mean to be insensitive,” you pull away to look at him properly, “but what happens to your clothes when you transform? Do you like… do you get” —you gesture around vaguely, whispering— “naked before it starts?”

Jungkook snorts, his eyes glossy and cheeks pink. But, hey! At least he’s smiling!

He grins boyishly and shakes his head. “Way to ruin the moment,” he teases. “But uh, yeah. Our clothes rip when we shift, so we try to undress beforehand.”

“You’ve seen each other naked?“ you ask incredulously, eyes wide. Jungkook blushes pink at your reaction, nodding while sheepishly scratching the back of his head. “Even… the girls?”

He whines, hiding his face in his hands. You gape at his pink ears, malfunctioning for a second. Jungkook’s seen boobs and ass. And probably more than that, too. You rub at your neck to distract yourself from the blush you feel crawling up your throat.

“It’s normal!” Jungkook defends himself, still blushing furiously as he waves his hands around wildly, pouting. “You’re making it weird…”

“I” —you gape at him— “what? You’re the one who’s seen your friends’ jun-mfh—“ you laugh into Jungkook’s hand as he smacks it over your mouth, yelling at you to shut up before they hear!

You laugh breathlessly and tell him that you’ll be quiet, reassuring him three, four, five times before he finally lets you go.

He sits back on his knees with his feet folded underneath him. “Let’s forget this conversation ever happened,” Jungkook says, shivering exaggeratedly to make his point.

You giggle and shake your head as your smile slips. You stare at him until he meets your eyes, and smile softly when he does. “Thank you for telling me.”

He nods, smiling down at his hands. The two of you stay like that for what feels like hours, basking in each others’ presence and getting familiar with this newly shared secret.

“Can I…” Jungkook nibbles his lip, hope shining behind his eyes. “Can I scent you?”

You snort, pushing his face away with a lighthearted smile. “Never in a million years, Jeon.”

“Bunny,” he whines childishly, righting himself into a sitting position after almost toppling off the edge of his bed before clasping his hands in front of him. “Please? I promise it’ll feel good!”

“Stop!”

“Yah, you’re the one making it sound weird!”

“Fine! I guess I’ll go tell your hyungs and noonas about how dirty their precious maknae i—“

“DON’T YOU DARE!”

<- prev | next ->

700 notes · View notes

vintagelasvegas · 1 month ago

Text

Sundance / Fitzgerald's / The D

Photos: Sundance in 1980, before opening, and during construction of the second tower in '81. (Review Journal)

Nevada Building ('56-'78)

'56: Nevada Building, a 4-story office & retail space designed by Zick & Sharp opens in Apr. The owner-developer is not clear. In '62, Three-O-One Corp (Moe Dalitz, Allard Roen, Israel Alderman) are cited as the owner of the Nevada Building at this time. (RJ 3/8/56, RJ 10/9/62)

'78: Jan., First word of the hotel in the press. Moe Dalitz will build the hotel, with Herb Tobman and Al Sachs operating the hotel & casino. “Tobman and partners Al Sachs and Fred Richmond have plans … for a 300-room hotel.” A later piece in the Review-Journal states Tobman & Sachs first proposed the Sundance in '76, that they owned the Nevada Building and had acquired the adjacent properties. (RJ 1/22/78, RJ 7/3/80)

'78: Nov., Nevada Building demolished. (RJ 11/8/78)

'79: Jun., Carrao Construction Co. begins work on Sundance. (RJ 6/17/79)

'79: Sep., Dalitz requests $27M loan from the state Retirement Board for the hotel construction.

'80: Jun. 19, Dalitz called by Gaming Control Board for licensing because of a guaranteed a line of credit to operators Sachs & Tobman. Sachs (57.5%) and Tobman (32.5%) have already been approved. (The other 10% owners, not accounted for in the press.) The Dalitz probe is put on hold ultimately never appears before the board before Jackie Gaughan leases the casino in '84.

Sundance ('80-'87)

'80: Jul. 3, Sundance opens. The hotel has one tower, 17 floors, 290 rooms, and a 450-space garage. Following the MGM Grand fire later in the year, Sundance is cited by Las Vegas Fire Marshal Ned Backer as the only downtown hotel to meet all fire-safety features required under building codes adopted by the City Commission in Jul. '79, "a firefighter's delight." (RJ 11/28/80)

'81: Construction of the second tower begins in Jan., completed in Nov. The 34-story, 360-room, 400-foot tower is the tallest in downtown Las Vegas. Total rooms: 650.

'83: Jun., Sundance leased to Jack Pieper.

'84: Jul., Sundance leased to Jackie Gaughan and El Cortez management, as court-appointed supervisors.

'86: Dec. 1, Lincoln Management Group of Reno's Fitzgerald's Hotel, takes over Sundance lease as court-appointed supervisors.

Fitzgeralds ('87-2012)

'87: Oct., Lincoln buys Sundance. Las Vegas City Council approves name change to Fitzgeralds in Dec. Facade renovation is approved by the city 2/3/88.

'96: Nov., Corner marquee changed with 120-ft rainbow and 35-ft “Mr O'Lucky” charactater.

2001: Dec., Fitzgeralds Las Vegas bought by Don Barden, Majestic Star Casino, LLC, along with Colorado and Mississippi properties. Barden becomes the first African American casino owner in Las Vegas.

2002: Mr. O'Lucky removed from the sign. Later destroyed by fire at the Neon Museum in 2004.

2003: Barden separated Fitzgeralds Las Vegas from the Majestic Star umbrella.

2011: May 19, Barden dies.

2011: Oct., Barden estate sells Fitzgeralds to Derek and Greg Stevens.

2012: Fitzgeralds rebranded as The D.

New Building. Review-Journal, 3/8/56; Jud Wanniski. Reporter's Notebook. Review-Journal, 10/9/62; Charles Zebell. Downtown Vegas stores flee to suburbs. Review-Journal, 1/22/78; Sale Today, Gone Tomorrow. Review-Journal, 11/8/78 p11; Going Up. Review-Journal, 6/17/79; Kent Lauer. Dalitz asking for $27 million loan. Review-Journal, 9/19/79 p1; Clyde Weiss. Dalitz called for licensing. Review-Journal, 6/19/80 p3; Sundance Hotel guided by experienced team. Review-Journal, 7/3/80; Sundance Hotel and Casino opens doors. Review-Journal, 7/3/80; Mark Dent. Few downtown high rises meet safety codes. Review-Journal, 11/28/80 p1; Sundance is one of the world's safest hotels. Review-Journal, 3/15/81; Reno operator named to supervise Sundance. Review-Journal, 11/26/86; Ed Vogel. Control Board OKs sale of Sundance. Review-Journal, 10/1/87; Diane Russell. City Council. Review-Journal, 12/18/87; Caitlin McGarry. Audacious D. Review-Journal, 3/13/2012.

#1980 #Sundance

30 notes · View notes

wangxianficfinder · 1 year ago

Text

In the mood for...

Feb 26th

~*~

1. hi, would like to ask if you know of any fic about the sunshot campaign after a failed golden core transfer. thank you :)

Never Again by Hauntcats (T, 67k, WWX & WN & WQ, JC & WWX, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, major character death, Canon Divergence, Angst, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Dark, BAMF WWX, mentions of abuse, Not Everyone Dies au, XY doesn’t have a happy ending) IDK about failed transfer, but this is a Time Travel AU where WQ travels back to when she was performing the transfer & refuses to go through with it

~*~

2. Hello! I have been reading a fic where the elder Lan Wangji Hanguang Jun time travels into the past time in Cloud Recess during the time when his Younger self and Wwx were studying

And then wwx is all over the older Hanguang Jun fawning and fussing .

Fic like Vinegar Jug by Dandelion Sun .

Or something similar coded. @lostsoul234

💖 Hanguang-jun’s Husband by lilacevergarden (alittlemorecreative) (T, 6k, wangxian, time travel, bullying ur younger versions, jealous wwx)

💖 From the Future for the Past by friedchickenlord (G, 27k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, first love, love confessions, fluff & humor, denial, pining, happy ending)

~*~

3. Tysm Mods for all you do to accommodate and keep up with these asks and recs. As well as all your efforts in keeping up this site. We all appreciate it very much.❤️❤️🥰

But, here’s the ittmf ask. I’m looking for longer fics, (30k+ words) for modern cultivation aus. I’m looking for something like the societies portrayed in Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! byKizuKatana or All Old Things are New Again byThe Feels Whale (miscellea) would be great, but just give me what you’ve got. I’m hungry for more, does anyone have any good ones? @omgnectarina

I feel like I win when I lose by so_shhy (T, 25k, wangxian, modern cultivation, Sports AU, Getting Together, some semblance of a plot, gently implied 3zun, obsessively observing someone from a distance is super romantic, LWJ pls use your words, really WWX cannot be blamed for obliviousness in this one, WC causing trouble, WN is precious, Fluff, Podfic Available)

Hear a song this deeply by so_shhy (T, 87k, wangxian, modern cultivation, music, kid fic, action/adventure, canon typical JGY behavior, slow burn, fluff & angst, happy ending)

🔒 close the door behind me, i'm leaving by thelastdboy (M, 3k, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, Madam Lan & LWJ, Modern Cultivation, Canon Divergence, POV LWJ, Character Study, Coming of Age, Past Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Neurodiversity, Autism Spectrum, Situational Mutism, Hurt No Comfort)

💙 this river runs to you by sundiscus (T, 53k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mutual Pining, Dragons, Literal Sleeping Together, Tender wound tending) Idk how close these are to what OP wants, but I've been reading a lot of Modern Cultivation fics recently, so here's my fave so far

something wicked by isabilightwood (T, 13k, wangxian, modern with magic, coffee shop AU, Animal Transformation Curse, Bunji, LWJ is a Talking Bunji, True Love’s Kiss, Specifically the Same Type of Love, Miscommunication, Pining, Jealous WWX, WWX attempts to set LWJ up on dates, LWJ is not having it, WWX is an empath but he’s bad at telling how people feel about him, Friends to Lovers, Moms and WCZ Live, blink and you’ll miss it implied 3zun, Werewolf Baker WN, extremely mild angst, Fluff, minor background WQ/JYL/JZX, Halloween)

The Curse Breaker by NebulusCharlie (Not rated, 34k, wangxian, Curses, soft and fluffy WangXian, past mistakes, school of Cultivation, modern with magic, Definitely a happy ending, not much angst)

Extracts from the diaries of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, relating to the case of Lan Zetian (Nov. 4 to Nov. 27) by Accidental_Child (T, 6k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, Case Fic, Epistolaryish, Diary/Journal, WWX-centric, LWJ-centric, Slow Burn, (academic), Enemies to Lovers, academic rivals to Lovers, Mentions of Murder, mentions of abuse, mentions of assult)

And you must keep your soul/ Like a secret in your throat by athena_crikey (E, 48k, wangxian, Modern with Magic, Vampire WWX, Cultivator LWJ, Case Fic, hur/comfort, Angst, Falling In Love, First Time, Reference to Torture)

那些年错过的大雨 (Nàxiē nián cuòguò de dàyǔ | The heavy rain we missed in those years) by PorcupineGirl (E, 29k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, Modern Cultiovation, Secret Identity, Wangxian Reunion, Dual Cultivation, Sorta kinda soulmates, but not a soulmate au, Consensual Non-Consent, Explicit Consent, Dom/sub, dom LWJ, sub WWX, Wangxian Have a Non-Con/Rape Kink, No Golden Core Transfer, discussion of mental health issues, WWX & LSZ reunion, Scheming NHS, NHS is Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Fic (except for how his fingerprints are all over it), Content Warnings in Chapter Notes, no lube we die like WWX's asshole)

~*~

4. I've read a few fics with this lovely concept, but may I have more recs with talisman-genius wwx? getting rich/admired as a result of that is a welcome bonus! thank you💚

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 762k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) The ultimate Talisman Genius WWX Gets Recognition fic

🧡 One Can Keep A Secret (If He Does Not Know It’s There) by H_Belle (T, 5k, WangXian, Modern Cultivators, Inventor WWX, Secret Identity, Identity Reveal, YLLZ WWX, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Pining LWJ, POV WWX, Background Wangxian Getting Together, Jiangs are only mentioned in the passing, inspired by a tumblr post)

💙🔒 Away from Trouble by Ilona22 (M, 15k, WangXian, Not JC Friendly, LWJ/WWX Get a Happy Ending)

🔒 The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 46k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, Time Travel Fix-It, JC Bashing, Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect Bashing Jiāng Family Bashing, YZY Bashing, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, Wooing, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, frankencanon, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gūsū Lán Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Protection Squad)

A Thousand Things by tickertape (M, 108k, wangxian, canon divergence, WWX not adopted by Jiangs, developing friendships, miscommunication, misunderstangings, nightmares, hurt/comfort, panic attacks, WWX’s fear of dogs, slow burn, cultivation world bureaucracy)

~*~

5. this is for itmf! (no wips)

A. bottomji fics please

B. fics w lots of cuddling, soft fics (post- canon preferably, but anything is good!!)

5A)

do with me what spring does with cherry trees by jalpari (E, 34k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, No War AU, Bottom LWJ, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sharing a Bed, Idiots in Love, Touch-Starved LWJ)

this bed of love by YaYa (Terabyte_my_ass) (E, 4k, wangxian, Established Relationship, Post-Canon, Rimming, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Tender Sex, super sensitive LWJ, Blink and you miss it humiliation kink, and a little bit of praise kink, First Time Bottoming, Bottom LWJ, POV LWJ, Coming Untouched)

Respectable, Decent, and Quiet by Theotrix (E, 5k, wangxian, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, repressed LWJ, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Loud Sex, Emotional release, How about instead of more rules you get your disciples some therapy)

leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation)

To Know, To Be Known by cqlorphan (E, 38k, wangxian, PWP, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, Cock Warming, Multiple Orgasms, Marathon Sex, Under-negotiated Kink, Porn with Feelings, Aftercare, Dom/sub Undertones, Established Relationship, let lwj get railed agenda, LWJ Learns Some Things about himself, sex tears, gratuitous use of names, Begging, Kink Discovery, Post-Canon, Top LWJ, Bottom WWX, Switching, Light Bondage, Blow Jobs, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Let wwx get tied up but also let lwj railed, Repressed LWJ, Inventor WWX, Cock Rings, Angst and Fluff and Smut, begging, talking about feelings, Dirty Talk, Rough Sex, Dildos, Rimming, Edging) link in #15

~*~

6. my first time sending an ask! this is for the i’m in a mood for thing, i wanted fics where xue yang ends up in the burial mounds and/or becoming wwx’s protégé, like canon divergence where he isn’t like a full spawn of evil

no one ever said the single-plank bridge had to be walked alone by rosemu (T, 124k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Yílíng Wèi Sect au, Fix-It, Not Everyone Dies, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, Fluff, Angst, Domestic Fluff, Canon-Typical Violence, Found Family, Slow Burn, LWJ and WWX get to be Dads together, the healing power of homoerotic flute/guqin duets, Happy Ending) XY is sent to the Burial Mounds to spy for JGY, becomes WWX's student & switches sides, is still snarky without being evil

~*~

7. Hi! I’m in the mood for fics where WWX comes back in MXYs body but it’s absolute canon divergence from there. Thanks for all your help! @empress-of-elsewhere

Home isn't Where the Heart is. by Hauntcats (Not rated, 7k, wangxian) Technically already an AU before WWX came back, since LWJ noped out of the Lans while he was dead, but might still count for the request

Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX)

~*~

8. heyyy, do yall have a cross dressing comp.?? if not can u rec some (or put this in itmf?)

My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun by nonplussed (T, 26k, WangXian, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fix-It, Crossdressing, Idiots in Love, Sharing a Bed, Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies)

Wei Wuxian, Who’s That? by bumbledees (T, 48k, wangxian, crossdressing, pining, sibling feels)

we’ll get him falling for a stranger (or a catfish) by sweetlolixo (T, 38k, WangXian, Modern AU, College AU, Catfish AU, Eventual Happy Ending, Crossdressing WWX, Rich heir LWJ gets catfished by pretty WWX online that’s it that’s the fic, Pining LWJ, Fluff, Humor, lwj is a grade A+ SIMP, Identity Porn)

~*~

9. I've read a few fics with side plots of the lans learning about the culture of yunmeng and seeing all of the cultural differences, and was wondering if there were anymore fics like that? It could be any sect tbh I'm just super interested in the cultural differences between the sects. @reyoffuckingsunshine

~*~

10. do u have some outsider pov mdzs fics (especially if it's like from any of the juniors or lan xichen )

Time, Time, Time by skeletonofaplant (G, 44k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, LSZ & WWX, JYL & JL & JZX, LJY & LSZ, Time Travel Fix-It, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Angst, Fluff, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Time Travelling Junior Ensemble, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Humor) Juniors pov time travel fic

Weep You No More, Sad Fountains by athena_crikey (T, 59k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & JGY, Canon Divergence, Fix-it, Whump, Curses, Fever, Delirium, Stabbing, Loneliness, Confessions, LWJ's emotional repression, WWX giving everything as always, LXC realising sympathy is not support, LQR Being an Asshole) LXC POV

The Story of El-ahrairah and the Rabbits of Cloud Recesses by zylaa (G, 1k, wangxian, Crack, Fluff, literal fluff, it's all about the rabbits) Definitely outsider pov as it's from characters from outside MDZS canon

There's a Baby Loose in the Burial Mounds! by ScarlettStorm (G, 3k, LSZ is the best boy, even the ghosts think so, OCs, But they're all dead, What is a family?, the burial mounds, sentient burial mounds, don't worry wangxian are together and in love, that's just not relevant to anything that happens in this fic, radish truther agenda) POV various ghosts

❤️ The One-Body Problem by metisket (T, 29k, LJY & WWX, LJY & LSZ, wangxian, possession, cohabitation, Mojo’s bookmark) LJY POC

pitfalls of greed by glitteringmoonlight (T, 3k, WangXian, POV Outsider, BAMF WWX, Kidnapping, Violence, YLLZ WWX, not exactly but the vibes are there, Post-Canon) POV random idiots

💖 Lessons relearned by Iamnotawriter (T, 44k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Not Madam Yu Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inventor WWX, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, No Golden Core Transfer, YZY Bashing) LQR POV

Oh, my precious didi! by PrinceInuYasha (G, 7k, wangxian, High School AU, LXC's pov, Misunderstandings, Fluff, Some angst, Protective WWX, overprotective LXC, Rumors, Established Relationship, bad boy WWX, but not really) link in #11

~*~

11. Do u have some lan xichen or jin ling pov fics esp ones that are already not quite so popular on ao3

climbing up that coastal shelf by Sour_Idealist (T, 15k, JC & JL & WWX, JC & JL, JC & WWX, JL & LSZ, JL & WWX, Post-Canon, Mutually Unrequited Forgiveness, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Family History, Generational Trauma, Discussion of Canonical Abuse, Awkward Attempts at Communication, mentions of past JC/WQ, Fairy is a good dog, Podfic by RevolutionaryJo)

a symbol to remind you that there's more to see by paperminds (T, 9k, JL & WWX, JC & JL, JC & WWX, canon-compliant, post-canon, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Mild/Moderate Angst with happy ending, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Twin Idiots, Reconciliation, JL has too many uncles, JL deserves a hug, JL will save us all, excessive verbosity by yours truly)

To Love What Is Mortal by treemaidengeek (T, 22k, XiSong, Post-Canon, Grief/Mourning, Fluff and Angst, Healing, past 3Zun, past SongXiao, background WangXian, background SL & WN, & LSZ, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, [Podfic] To Love What Is Mortal by flamingwell)

Gentle Exile by rynleaf (E, 9k, XiSong, Post-Canon, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, References to Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Character Study, Epistolary, Post-Canon, Exploration, [PODFIC] Gentle Exile by flamingwell, semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona))

🔒hills and rivers are waiting by LtLJ (G, 15k, WangXian, CQL canon, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, domestic fluff and angst, Family Feels, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, BAMF WWX)

~*~

12. I’m ITMF a fic where it’s a AITA au / where the characters are in a AITA scenario @zerokogane

Am I (Gusu Lan Cultivator, 24 M) the Asshole? by moonwaif (M, 41k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Oblivious LWJ, Jealous LWJ, Jealous WWX, Misunderstandings, No actual Wei Ying x Others, A "What If Wei Wuxian Figured Out His Own Feelings First?" AU, Hanguang-jun unlearns compulsory heteronormativity, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, give LWJ friends agenda)

~*~

13. hi! for itmf i wanted to ask, are there any fics where cssr's infidelity accusation gets addressed definitively? it's mentioned sometimes but there aren't ever consequences for yzy or the other gossipers, or wwx doesn't get to honor and take pride in his parents (I'll also take any angsty options where the the jfm-bastard assumption gets wwx in trouble) thank you!!

~*~

14. hey admins! i'm in the mood for any fics where wwx is depressed and sad, but people help him? i'm in an angsty mood, thanks!

🔒🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 53k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

🔒 tuck me in by belovedmuerto (T, 4k, WangXian, bed sharing, Hurt/Comfort, mostly comfort, Pre-Slash, Getting Together, Nightmares, expressions of care)

~*~

15. hi! if you dont mind me asking, what is the mdzs/the untamed fic with the best smut you ever read? any kind of fic is fair game

Make me by anaphoricae (E, 180k, wangxian, Modern, Dom/sub, Dominant WWX, Submissive LWJ, Friends With Benefits, Pining while fucking, Co-workers, Praise Kink, Touch-Starved LWJ, Semi-Public Sex, Exhibitionism, Nipple Play, Mutual Masturbation, Overstimulation, POV WWX, In which I trick you into reading about Wangxian falling in love by making you think it's all just a smut fic, Brief Mentions of WWX/Others and LWJ/Others, Bondage, Blindfolds, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Flogging, Chair Bondage, Aftercare, Edging, Jealous LWJ, Facials, Come as Lube, and also lube as lube, Cock & Ball Torture, But it's mild, Coming Untouched, Deepthroating, Face-Fucking, Face Slapping, Choking, Subspace, Couch Sex, LWJ sitting on WWXs lap agenda, Biting, Spanking, LWJ having his cheeks pinched as a treat, So much RESPECT and TRUST this is actually way softer than the tags make it seem, Bottom LWJ, POV LWJ, Rope Bondage, Office Sex, Rope Bunny LWJ, Spit As Lube, LWJ's canonical habit of keeping (stealing) Wei Wuxian's things, Intercrural Sex, Light Angst, Blow Jobs, Snowballing, Service Submission, Lingerie, LWJ's brain going BRRRRR, Jealous WWX, Cock Rings, Cock Warming, Collars, Power Play, Orgasm Control, LWJ and WWX's inability to pretend they're not actually madly in love with each other, slight degradation [Affectionate], Miscommunication, Impact Play, Rigger WWX, BDSM fetish party, Public Blow Jobs, Rope Suspension, Cuddlefucking, Fluff, LWJ and WWX being boyfriends without realizing they're boyfriends, Porn with Feelings, Body Worship) lots of bdsm and stuff so u might wanna check out the tags

🔒sleep in your bed by copperwings (E, 12k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Fluff, Humor, Smut, Attempt at Humor, Boys Kissing, Emotional Sex, Anal Sex)

Fentao-laoshi’s Guide to Cut-Sleeve Pleasures by occultings (microcomets) (E, 31k, wangxian, canon divergence, pining while fucking, friends with benefits, first time, cloud recesses study arc, practice kissing, sharing a bed, jealousy, getting together, confessions, happy ending)

~*~

16. Hi! This is for ITMF ✨

I'm looking for two kind of fics:

A) Cloud Recesses Arc where WWX and LWJ are together soon, Happy ending pls. I like longer fics, but shorts ones are OK. 🤗💕

B) Travel time fics where WWX (I prefer WWX but if it's LWJ it's ok too) travel in time to fix everything and save everyone. I love this kind of fics. Please give me all you have. Happy endings, pls. 💕😉

Thanks for everything!! Ily 🤟😊 @wangxiansgirl

16A)

❤️ Gentians in bloom by teawater (M, 251k, wangxian, canon divergence, political marriage, dysfunctional family, implied/referenced self-harm, hurt/comfort, fix-it, implied/referenced suicide, BAMF WWX, eventual happy ending, not YZY friendly, not LQR friendly (kind of), Mojo’s bookmark)

16B)

the cycle of regret by KouriArashi (T, 14k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Fix-It, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Alternate Canon) LWJ stuck in a time loop

Regrets by antebunny (G, 38k, wangxian, miscommunication, misundersandings, time travel fix-it, temporary character death, angst w/ happy ending, fluff, hurt/comfort) Both LWJ & WWX time travel

Here With Me by iamwish (T, 58k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time travel Fix-It, No war AU, Not YZY Friendly, Somebody Lives/Not everyone dies, Established Relationship) WWX time travels

Ad Oblivione by Baph, HikariNoHimeWriter (M, 70k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Multiple, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Identity Reveal, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Abusive YZY, Angst with a Happy Ending) WWX time travels

A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, slow burn, getting together, first time, pining, pining while fucking, burial mounds settlement days, angst w happy ending) LWJ time travels

🔒 Hope series by RoseThorne (M, 59k, wangxian, WIP, Transmigration, Time Travel Fix-It, Illnesses, Family, Scars, Memory Loss, Angst, Crying, Music, Nosebleed, Fear, Recovery, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Flirting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent YZY, Referenced Sexual Slavery, Blood and Gore, Monsters, Sexual Tension, betrothal, Arranged Marriage, Adoption, POV Third Person, POV Alternating, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Good Parent LQR, Clairvoyance, Butterfly Effect, Kid Fic, Epistolary, Food, Secrets, Resentful Energy, Cultivation Sect Politics, Character Death, Resentment, Anger, Explosions, Yīn Iron, Grief/Mourning, POV WWX)

Wish Me Luck by Starlight1395 (Not rated, 164k, wangxian, time travel, fix it, PTSD) It's the perfect angsty/cute combo time travel fix-it fix! Also fits #16A

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together)

~*~

17. Hola! Nice to meet you ☺️

I want to ask for some fics in ITMF. Lately I'm reading a lot of Wangxian fics where they kiss or confess in Xuanwu cave or Gusu cave. I like when they have their happy ending, long fics better. (I'm happy with mpreg and omegaverse too).

Thx!!

💙🔒 Wish I could forget the taste of your skin and the feel of your hands pinning me down by KizuKatana (E, 63k, wangxian, WQ & WWX & WN, modern w/ cultivation, getting back together, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, case fic, pining)

hope dangling by a string by KouriArashi (M, 70k, wangxian, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, LXC & LWJ, JC & WWX, Alternate Canon, Fix-It, Everybody Lives, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Psychic Bond, Telepathy, Communication, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, jiang family feels, Lan Family Feels, Canon-Typical Violence, canon typical political bullshit, improper use of sacred forehead ribbons, gratuitous hair washing)

Quartet series by WithBroomBefore (T, 69k wangxian, JZX & JC & WWX & LWJ, Canon Divergence, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, WWX's canonical comfort with the prospect of his own death, Hurt/Comfort, JZX makes friends, Eventual Happy Ending, some unhappiness along the way, Canon-Typical Violence, JC keeps his golden core, JYL Lives, WQ Lives, Minor Character Death, Kissing, WWX Lives, no golden core transfer, JZX Lives, Fix-It, WN Lives, Weeping, temporary major character death, Murder Road Trip, Implied Sexual Content, Sunshot Campaign, Nonbinary NHS, Telepathy, platonic group soulbonding, Family, Found Family, POV WWX, Podfic Available, Siblings Sworn Brothers, aroace JZX, Happy Ending, all the Wen remnants live, POV JZX, JGY is less murdery, Asexual Character, Aromantic Character, JZX's social awkwardness, Poison) the first part starts with the Xuanwu cave and confessions/realisations.

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

188 notes · View notes

shanastoryteller · 2 years ago

Note

Happy birthday! Hope its great! The Untamed please? Its one of my favorite fandoms you've gotten me into 🥰

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38

Mo Xuanyu is married to the Second Jade of Lan.

Song Lan had known she’d married into the Lan – it was obvious – but he’d thought it was some not so bright cultivator that had been bewitched by her pretty face, or possibly literally bewitched, which he’d already decided wasn’t any of his damn business. If some stupid Lan wants a terrifying and amoral demonic cultivator for a wife, then good luck to them. Except they obviously don’t know she’s a demonic cultivator, considering their clan’s history with the original. But again, not his business, not his problem. His first priority is Xiao Xingchen and if Mo Xuanyu is going help him, then he really doesn’t care about who she’s terrorizing in her spare time.

Except it appears he’d underestimated her.

Because she’s apparently Jin Xuanyu now, legitimized and married off to the second most eligible bachelor in the cultivation world, superseded only by his brother who’s been unofficially off the market for over a decade.

Hanguang Jun had lived as a widower and Song Lan had been convinced he was going to die as one. Uncharitably, he wonders if maybe Lan Wangji just has a type, then feels bad about it in the next moment.

She orders Sect Leader Lan around and he lets her. She glares Hanguang Jun down.

To say absolutely nothing of the way she’d taken down Xue Yang. And then given him that dubious honor of taking credit for the kill, likely because she didn’t want to try and explain to her family how she’d managed it.

She had been clever and dangerous as a teenager. She’s managed to vault herself from disgraced bastard daughter to wife of the heir to the Lan and the legal mother to the third in line who will likely be the one actually succeeding Lan Xichen.

Jin Xuan – Xuanyu is a friend. She has very firmly shown herself to be a friend, helping him and protecting Xiao Xingchen and showing what certainly looks like genuine kindness to the girl who’d helped them, A-Qing.

Possibly she’s done all this to ensure their silence over what she used to be, what she is, but if so then it’s been successful. Betrayal would be a poor repayment for everything she’s done. The Lan hadn’t helped him or Xiao Xingchen. She had. The Lan can take care of themselves and if they can’t withstand the machinations of one woman, they deserve what they get.

Xiao Xingchen hasn’t said much, and Song Lan owes him so many apologies, but not here in front of everyone. He at least agrees to fly with him without much fuss. It will be difficult for him to fly with all three of them for any significant distance, but A-Qing asks Xuanyu to fly with her and she agrees with a smile.

Lan Sizhui doesn’t seem particularly thrilled, but he apparently is far too respectful of his step mother to disagree with her.

They’re flying back the inn when Xiao Xingchen presses himself back against his chest and tilts his head back to say, “Song Lan.”

It’s been so long since he’s heard Xiao Xingchen say his name. He has to swallow before he says, “Yes?”

“That’s,” he starts, then stops. “Who was that?”

“Who?” he asks. “We’re traveling with the Lans.”

“The woman,” he says.

His lips tug down into a frown but he tries not to panic. He’s been under charms to confuse and dull his senses for months. “That was Mo Xuanyu.”

If he’s already confused, getting into her legitimization probably won’t help anything.

Xiao Xingchen is silent for a few more moment. Then he asks, “Are you sure?”

What on earth. “Who else would she be?”

“She moves like – and sounds – but. It can’t. She’s – different,” he says.

As wonderful as it is to hear him speaking, Song Lan wishes he were saying less worrying things. “It’s been a long time since we saw her last. She’s grown up and married. Of course she’s different.” He squeezes his arms around Xiao Xingchen’s waist, hoping it’s not too presumptuous when they haven’t discussed anything yet. “It’s okay, after everything that’s happened this all must feel very sudden. Xuanyu is the one that found you. We can trust her.”

He thinks they can trust her. They can trust her more than any other sect cultivator, which granted isn’t saying much.

Xiao Xingchen relaxes against him. “Alright. If you say so.”

#song lan has been very busy looking for xxc and so missed all the gossip around the arranged marriage #and he only has his knowledge of the real mxy to base all his conclusions on #asks #sailor-lady #untamed #prompt answers #prompts are closed

600 notes · View notes

footnotesaregreat · 1 year ago

Text

Hua Cheng's Simp Diaries 101

*a list of his simp moments bc you've never seen a man so deeply in love*

1. found and kept xie lian's earring from the first time they met when he was 10

2. plays with it a lot

3. kept the umbrella xie lian gave him when it was raining at his shrine

4. only ate from the offerings at the shrine when he was certain it was xie lian himself who told him to

5. was one of the few people who didn't kneel to pray to xie lian bc it was what he asked

6. he brought fresh flowers to the shrine everyday for xie lian's statue to hold

7. he tied the red string of fate on the finger xie lian had tied his own hair around to protect him in the cave

8. he turned his ashes into a ring which he gave to xie lian

9. told him it was nothing important

10. made him his reason to live because xie lian told him to

11. he built thousands of statues and shrines for xie lian

12. he challenged the 33 gods that ridiculed xie lian beat them in battle and burned down their temples *girlboss*

13. he's been drawing xie lian's picture from when he was a child from the first day that he saved him

14. made a big ass door for the shrine so it'd be better protected

15. when xie lian was blown away by the sandstorm at ban yue pass and accidentally grabbed onto him he only said: gege there you are don't fly away again

16. literally sucked venom out of xie lian's hand and then proceeded to explode the snake that stung him

17. made sure to give xie lian the ferns that did not grow with humans as fertiliser to heal his hand bc he knew he would feel bad about that

18. killed hundreds of ghosts at ban yue pass in seconds before xie lian came down there

19. protected him from the snakes leaving mu qing alone to fight them

20. taught xie lian how to play dice just to hold his hands bc the motherfucker definitely just changed the dice himself

21. he gave xie lian dice that would always bring him to xie lian as long as he wanted to see him

22. when he fought with qianqiu and accidently hurt xie lian he felt so bad

23. eming was crying actual tears

24. he came into the heavenly capital to take xie lian away immediately bc he rolled the dice he gave him and he wanted to see him

25. once he saw how much qianqiu didn’t know about the gilded banquet he took them to qi rong's lair and forced him to tell the whole story so there would be no misunderstandings

26. he built a literal temple in the ghost city for xie lian specifically for the mid autumn festival so he could "make things interesting" for xie lian's "amusement"

27. he lit up 3000 blessings lanterns for xie lian from the temple he made in the ghost city

28. spent billions in gold to get the lanterns

29. *twice*

30. he captured the fetus ghost before xie lian bc he couldn’t let him hurt himself and to do so kissed him in the pretence that they shouldn't have their mouths open

31. brought xie lian back to paradise manor and instantly made him feel so comfortable that he actually let his pain show while removing the needle he'd stepped on

32. he went to puqi village to bring xie lian’s hat back bc he mentioned it while rambling after their first kiss

33. he cleaned puqi shrine and took qi rong out of the house along with the rest of the trash

34. when he saw he xuan come in with qingxuan he threatened him bc he didn't want xie lian involved with the whole thing with he xuan and the wind and water masters

35. got his people to watch over qi rong and lowkey lang ying and guzi and also probably to look after the shrine while they would be away with qingxuan and he xuan

36. when xie lian FINALLY asked for his private communication array password his eyes legit twinkled

37. he purposefully set his password to sth very much embarrassing so that no one but xie lian would dare reach him

38. the only time xie lian actually used it himself was when he was legit imprisoned by jun wu

39. he actually found xie lian's password funny and the poor thing got the validation he wanted for his joke after 800 years of having this password

40. he constantly changed outfits to watch xie lian struggle to keep his eyes off him

41. while qingxuan was in xie lian’s body he wouldn’t hurt him so he punched he xuan into the ground to release his frustration

42. totally sailed across black water's domain with xie lian's dead body in a coffin

43. the worst suffering for him is watching his beloved get trampled and ridiculed which he experienced when xie lian descended and the people turned against him

44. also watched him get stabbed a hundred times

45. and saw him drunk in a graveyard crying and breaking down

46. he thought he hadn't won xie lian over yet but he had even though xie lian himself hadn't realised it yet

47. he made a new donation box for xie lian while shirtless and sweating even though he's a literal ghost and doesn't sweat

48. he pretended to be unconscious even though as mentioned he's a literal ghost just so he could have a laugh and totally freaked out when xie lian attempted to perform cpr *on a literal ghost*

49. proposed to xie lian and for some reason said he was kidding

50. he’d already given xie lian his ring and wore the string of fate (smooth bro)

51. built a coffin to safely cross the sea with xie lian and successfully caused him a boner (erectile dysfunction cured great success)

52. went along with xie lian to the east sea to protect him from black water but still didn't interfere with his choices

53. when xie lian did the soul switch he sucked his power from his body so that he could bring xie lian's soul back and again freaked out when xie lian kissed him to get the powers back

54. he only practices writing with a specific poem that specifically describes the specific feelings he has for xie lian

55. when he lost control of himself he *intensely* kissed xie lian and afterwards he was so worried that he had hurt him

56. he turned into lang ying even though xie lian told him to not be with eachother for now since they would both be busy

57. even though he was with him he sent the litter to carry them

58. had yin yu gather all the ghosts and the clothes while searching for the brocade immortal so that xie lian could work faster

59. he tattooed xie lian's name on his arm but his handwriting is so awful even xie lian himself couldn't tell what was written for the longest time

60. he ignored xie lian telling him to not do all the chores and did them for him while maintaining lang ying's form

61. he refused to change even when it was clear that xie lian had figured it out and was struggling to write whatever he’d asked him

62. he tried to make himself look good when xie lian asked him who is the prettiest, strongest etcetc

63. he was definitely crying tears of joy whenever xie lian picked him up and told him who cute he was

64. he shared his ✨feelings✨ about looking weaker than he is and feeling powerless

65. did not want xie lian to have to protect him but still listened to him and accepted the help

66. went with xie lian to mount tong'lu to protect him and make sure no one messed up with him

67. he told xie lian anything he wanted to know about whatever they encountered at mount tong'lu

68. he changed the bloody rain to red flower petals so he wouldn’t get xie lian wet

69. he brought him under his umbrella and shielded him from the boulders refusing to help anyone else

70. he tied THE FUCKING RED STRING OF FATE to xie lian's finger to make sure the two would always find their way back to each other

71. he quoted a line from the oldest known chinese novella literally meaning "not even death can do us part"

72. he showed xie lian what happened between yin yu and qi ying so he could better understand their situation

73. he was very ok to just hang around inside the mountain and told xie lian that if it was with him he wouldn't mind staying there

74. he heard and comforted xie lian's worries about his guoshi and told him exactly what he needed to hear

75. it later helped xie lian remain calmer when the identity of white no-face was about to be revealed

76. when the rest of their group where being loud he told them to shut the fuck up bc xie lian was sleeping

77. when pei ming was being a little shit and commented on the red string tied on their fingers he covered it with an illusion

78. then he showed it to xie lian who was worried that it was gone completely

79. he said to xie lian: "i know you can’t die, and you’re not afraid to die, but no matter how tough you are, don’t think yourself incapable of getting hurt.”

80. and: “not dying doesn’t mean not getting hurt, and it definitely doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. when you see something strange and dangerous, don’t just touch it. find me. let me take care of it.”

81. when xie lian replied with: “...you too. if there’s something dangerous, you don’t touch, i won’t touch either, alright?” he was downright giddy, giggling, eyes twinkling, hair twirling

82. he built tens of thousands of statues and painted all of his encounters with xie lian throughout the years

83. he also sculpted the two of them boning (my guy was so sexually deprived)

84. he was so so scared when they ended up in the cave bc he didn't want to make xie lian uncomfortable in any way

85. he never wanted to make any kind of move that would frighten xie lian

86. he healed xie lian's frostbite wounds that even xie lian himself hadn't noticed

87. honestly can't separate the moments at this point the man is a ball of affection

88. when xie lian hugged him and showed him that his feelings were reciprocated he said: "your highness, you really will be the death of me." BRO IS LEGIT LIVING IN A SAKUATSU FIC WHAT THE FUCK

89. his eyes would not stop twinkling the whole time xie lian held his hand

90. he was in such a good mood that he didn't even say anything *extremely* insulting to mu qing and feng xin

91. he is just a little bby

92. he loves xie lian so much

93. when xie lian asked him about his ashes he once again said that they were absolutely safe and if the place he kept them was destroyed he wouldn't want to continue existing anyway

94. he basically turned into a ghost for the sole purpose of protecting xie lian and being with him

95. he twirls his little braid and fidgets with the coral pearl from xie lian's earring

96. he KISSED xie lian before they jumped into the kiln and this time without any false pretence of "transferring powers” or performing cpr" *once again on a literal ghost*

97. his spirit stayed in the mortal realm after dying in battle for xie lian and when he saw him told him once again that he will never forget him

98. also referred to xie lian as his beloved

99. also said that he wanted to protect him

100. and that he is his most devoted believer

101. and if his beloved felt bad that he stayed to protect them he would just not tell them

102. very slay of him

103. he was still so young there i-

104. they are the death of me

105. in the form of a literal ball of ghost fire he followed xie lian and did his best to warm him up and protect him even though he couldn't do that in that form

106. when white no-face held him and forced him to stay still while people stabbed xie lian a hundred times he couldn't take it and transformed into a vengeful spirit

107. he found xie lian in yong’an and offered to fight for him again as wu ming

108. while in yong'an he protected xie lian multiple times

109. the best and most beautiful statue of xie lian he built was inside the kiln and ended up being the one that broke xie lian out thanks to the powers he’d transferred to him

110. he continues to give xie lian spiritual powers by sticking his tongue down his throat and xie lian is going for it ofc

111. sent out his people to find the humans xie lian needed for the spiritual array

112. immediately noticed someone extra joined the array and told xie lian to check it out

113. when xie lian had to go to the heavenly capital with jun wu and his guoshi he asked him for a kiss bc staying back to take care of the spirits and the people in the array was just so hard to do without

🎐🍒🔥✨gege✨🔥🍒🎐 at his side

114. when xie lian connected with him through the spiritual communication array he instantly knew sth was wrong bc xie lian would never say his password unless it was an emergency

115. he gave qingxuan spiritual powers to have a way to connect with xie lian and sent help immediately

116. came to the heavenly capital despite knowing that jun wu would find him

117. talked with xie lian's guoshi and even spoke respectfully to him *mostly*

118. he sent he xuan to the array to give qingxuan his fan and transfer powers maybe bc xie lian cares for him or maybe bc he tolerates qingxuan *guess we’ll never know*

119. let's be honest from this point on, even more than the rest, every moment should be added

120. the man is a ball of love

121. he quoted himself while he was evaporating into butterflies because he's just such a poet and a romantic

122. he dies 3 times for xie lian

123. three

124. separate

125. times

126. he came back on the same day they first met

127. he lit another 3000 blessing lanterns for xie lian

128. "they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. this time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace."

129. he turned puqi shrine into a gay monument to xie lian

130. he left an essence of evil inside xie lian *successfuly caused mu qing and feng xin strokes*

131. he asks xie lian to call him 🧧🥟🗡️✨san lang✨🗡️🥟🧧 bc it means husband so xie lian has been calling him his husband all along

132. he got spoiled by xie lian and tried to bone every chance he got *fair*

133. when someone goes to pray to either one of them, for the prayers to be successful they must pray to both of them *together*

134. treated xie lian to yuanxiao and he finally remembered how it tasted after 800 years

135. he was definitely shaking from happiness when the answers to the riddles from the ghosts wrote "my husband is hua cheng" *even though the ghosts didn't know grammar*

136. when xie lian temporarily lost his memories he followed him everywhere to keep an eye on him

137. it's implied that mu qing and feng xin found him to tell him the situation with xie lian and then he went to find him so maybe he trusts them more now

138. he immediately sent yin yu to capture the creature that ate xie lian's memories

139. he loved every second of making fun of him

140. he made xie lian call him 🧧🥟🗡️✨gege✨🗡️🥟🧧

141. you bet his eye was twinkling the whole time

142. eming is used to taking baths with xie lian but when he went to him while he didn't have his memories hua cheng slapped it *save eming*

143. when he got sick he didn't want xie lian to have to take care of him but they talked about it and agreed to let the other take care of them whenever they needed it

144. when the whole fiasco with xie lian’s statues happened they made statues of hua cheng to keep them company

145. he has given up on learning calligraphy since he can just turn xie lian on and he forgets about everything

146. no one is doing it like them

147. hua cheng is insane for all of this

148. and very valid bc xie lian is gorgeous

if anyone made it here here's some tgcf playlists i'm quite proud of

120 notes · View notes

team-avia · 11 months ago

Note

Idk if you huys have been asked this already but still. How did you settle on characters traits? Like what made you decide e.g "Ok Cassandra is going to be a theater kid and a womanizer; Dani is going to be a sk8ter girl and Angie unhinged translates to her being a party animal"

Also I've been meaning to ask before, did I miss it when you published the characters' birthday dates and that's why everyone knows when it is or it's mentioned in the game and I just didn't pay attention?

finch had ideas and traits they wanted for the game and characters and the writers took those ideas and worked with them, sometimes tweaking things so that it would work with the plot. a few traits were taken from the canon characters to try and translate them into the game but with a twist.

originally the game was supposed to be much happier (ex. Bela's sprites actually smiling). but we ended up wanting the game to be darker to match the tone of the source material and thus the time loops were born.

here r the birthdays

Bela - 10. Jan. Cass - 18. Jun. Dani - 27. Oct. Angie - 29. Jan. Donna - 7. Sept. Alcina - 30. Jul. Miranda - 2. Nov.

we answer any additional tidbits about the characters in asks, and try to keep the lore cohesive as much as we can

#mail 💌#beemod🐝

67 notes · View notes

iphyslitterator · 4 months ago

Text

2024 Tumblr Top 10

tagged by @liminalmemories21 (thank you, I LOVE stats)

How it works: Share your top 10 tumblr posts from last year! Visit this site, scroll down to "Find your Tumblr Top 10," type in your username, and select 2024. When you get the results, simply click "Share to Tumblr" and you'll get an auto-generated draft for a post with links and previews. Make any adjustments you see fit.

1. 650 notes - Nov 28 2024

Did some very cursory research, and it turns out having mental health issues on your record can seriously complicate...

I'm thrilled this is my top post. First of all, it was very funny to ruin everyone's day on Thanksgiving. But mostly I think it was a useful and important topic to introduce to the fandom ecosystem, especially after some back-and-forth with the venerable @bekolxeram.

2. 495 notes - Jun 27 2024

Picture, if you will, Buck and Tommy's pre-teen daughter sitting Tommy down and asking how he knew he was gay. And he takes a...

I love this post, but it did age badly 😕 Buck's answer is going to be complicated after all.

3. 466 notes - Aug 26 2024

sharing my vision of chimney dragging tommy into a comedy b plot and rambling to him at 6 in the morning until tommy says...

I was surprised this did so well, but the people crave Chim & Tommy.

4. 437 notes - Aug 13 2024

when I'm feeling down, I like to imagine early s8 Tommy calling Buck and saying, listen, I know it's your night with Eddie, but...

Man, remember over the summer when people thought Eddie would have a serious mental health struggle, and Buck (and Tommy) would be supporting him, and Buck & Eddie & Tommy would have to renegotiate their dynamic? I miss that.

5. 394 notes - May 7 2024

One of my favorite things about 7x06 Bucktommy is that at no point are they trying to impress each other. Buck at the bachelor...

Earliest post on the list. Solid meta, but the most notable part is the footnote from someone blissfully unaware of Henleygate.

6. 388 notes - Sep 16 2024

tommy with a nonstop eight-minute rant about last night's baseball game while he's getting ready in the morning, mostly yelled...

I love this 😭

7. 380 notes - Aug 29 2024

"Hi!" Buck calls out when he hears the door open from where he's sprawled sideways on Tommy's couch, engrossed in a book on the...

This was supposed to be a little thing, but it got a bit longer than I expected, so I ended up posting it on AO3 - my first official fic since November 2020 🥰 Part of a genre, but as far as I know no one had done it with a couch.

8. 342 notes - Jun 4 2024

i just want to see eddie treating a severely injured buck while tommy struggles to keep him conscious and following...

Love this post + equally love these additions from @dadvans and @zeraparker (the end of the second one haunts me).

9. 322 notes - May 17 2024

oh my god he's walking on his knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting

The only non-Bucktommy post on the list (it's Bobby in Step Nine). Post "Wild Geese" during a commercial break = easy website.

10. 288 notes - Nov 28 2024

Flame

Day 1 of 118 Daily Drabble, and my most popular because it turned into a spontaneous collaboration with @peppermintquartz. I was SO excited to write back and forth and see people get invested; nothing like that had ever happened to me! I also liked getting the notifications (despite writing significantly less lol 🤭 hey, there were no rules). The original drabble is sad, but after five installments we got to a happy ending.

tagging @espressotonicc @jamieroyjamieroy @do-androids-dream-ao3acc @bucksdaffy @tommykinard217 and the people tagged above

#tumblrtop10 #bucktommy

20 notes · View notes

thistledropkick · 2 years ago

Text

Last year, Kasai Jun was interviewed as part of the interview project DEATH, which interviews various people about death in order to find a better understanding of how to live and appreciate life.

I thought it was a fascinating interview, so I decided to translate it.

Please go visit the original interview - the photography accompanying it is absolutely gorgeous.

Also, please don't repost this whole translation elsewhere. If you want to quote an excerpt of my translation for something, please make sure to also credit the original team behind this interview and link back to the original interview.

Deathmatch Fighter Kasai Jun - 4/27/2022

“It’s not a deathmatch until you return home alive” The reason this 47 year old Charisma Wrestler continues to shed blood in the ring

Within pro wrestling, there is a genre called “deathmatch.”

An extreme set of rules that allows deadly weapons and has no disqualifications. Brawls with fluorescent light tubes, and dives onto barbed wire boards. Without hesitation, wrestlers stab their opponents in the head with fistfuls of bamboo skewers. When wound-covered bodies violently collide, shards of glass and sprays of blood shower the ringside seats.

Upon first seeing it, surely everyone thinks “Why are these people hurting each other like this?” “What the hell am I looking at?”

This is the world of the man known as “Charisma,” professional Wrestler Kasai Jun of the independent promotion Pro Wrestling Freedoms.

In November of 2009, he had a “razorblade board plus alpha deathmatch” against Ito Ryuji in Tokyo’s Korakuen Hall. Kasai, 35 years old at the time, dove from the second floor balcony, a fall of 6 meters, onto a table, aiming for his opponent Ito.

Afterwards they continued to fight with various weapons, in a match that concluded 15 seconds before the 30 minute time limit. That year, this match was awarded the Best Bout award. And Kasai, the winner of that match, became a living legend overnight.

12 years have passed since then. Kasai is now 47 years old, and he continues to rule over the world of deathmatch wrestling. Under the weight of many literal life-or-death battles, Kasai’s body no longer moves the way it did when he was young. Even so, why does he continue to set foot in such a dangerous place?

We asked “Charisma of Deathmatch” - a man who makes the crowd go mad in the space between life and death - about his views on death and on life.

Desiring to truly feel alive

- Normally, people try to avoid pain and suffering. Kasai, why do you continue to shed blood in the ring?

Hahaha. From an outside perspective, you must really wonder “Why do you keep doing something so painful” huh? That’s a normal way to feel. But from the wrestler’s perspective, it’s completely different.

In your normal daily life, do you ever feel like “Ahh, it’s so glorious to be alive”? You’d almost never unconsciously blurt out something like that.

But in a life or death battle in a deathmatch ring, after you step down from that ring, that’s exactly what you feel. “Ahh, I’m alive. I’m so grateful to be alive.” Because of that, I can’t quit.

Mountain climbers and stuntmen probably feel like this too, don’t they. Stepping into a situation where their life could end, and returning home safely. I wonder if they’re searching for that feeling of being “truly alive.”

This feeling is passed on to the audience too. Fans often tell me “Watching Kasai Jun’s deathmatch gives me the strength to continue forward.”

They say things like, “I’m being bullied at school so I wasn’t going to go any more, but now I feel like I can keep going.” Or, “It’s exhausting to keep going to work, but after seeing Kasai persevere while shedding blood in the ring, I can persevere and keep going to work.”

Recently I can’t do this much because of covid, but in the past when I’d sell merch, fans would often say things like this to me.

Because of this, it seems to me that deathmatch wrestling is simultaneously a way for wrestlers to feel truly alive, and a way for those who watch it to feel more positively about living.

- Because of the sensational way “death” is shown in the ring?

Probably, yeah. Because it looks like we’re doing something really painful.

But don’t get me wrong. We aren’t in a particular hurry to die. And we aren’t wasting our lives either. What I always say is, “It’s not a deathmatch until you return alive.”

[Note from me - this phrase (生きて帰るまでがデスマッチ) is a play on a well-known Japanese phrase 家に帰るまでが遠足 “The field trip isn’t over until we return home.” This started as something a teacher would say to students in their care, and Kasai has altered it into his motto towards both himself and other deathmatch wrestlers.]

- It’s not a deathmatch until you return alive.

If you get in a ring where you might die or get seriously injured, and you do die, or you do get seriously injured, you’re no different than a rank amateur, right? But a guy who dives into a deadly dangerous situation and returns from that ring unharmed, he’s the absolute greatest and the absolute coolest.

Like a stuntman, right? If he returns home alive, people say “amazing,” but if he dies, he’s no longer a pro.

At 35 years old, his view on life did a complete 180 during a match

But, when I was young, I thought about it completely differently. I never thought “I’m grateful to be alive.” In the ring, I did dangerous stuff and defeated my opponents. I just thought of it as my job.

The more dangerous stuff I did, the more people said “Kasai is amazing!” That felt really great. Every time I stepped into the right I thought, if something goes wrong and I die I guess that’s how it goes. I thought “Deathmatches should be a memento mori.”

- What caused such a big change in your values?

That match against Ito Ryuji in Korakuen, in 2009. It changed my mental state by 180 degrees.

The truth is, I went into that match thinking “This is my last match before I retire.” Because it was my last match, I would do everything I wanted to do. Win or lose, I went into the ring thinking “I’ll retire.”

But during the match, my feelings completely changed. I thought “If I quit like this, I’ll be half-dead.” There’s nothing else I want to do, and I’ve never felt joy like this anywhere else. It was just too much fun.

So, after the match ended with 15 seconds remaining, I announced my decision to continue wrestling. “I was thinking of retiring but, I’m gonna keep going.” That’s what changed.

- Since your values have changed so significantly from when you thought it’d be good to die in the ring, what’s your “ideal death” now?

Spending the day with my family as I always do, watching tv with an after-dinner drink as I always do, getting comfy in my futon as I always do, and passing away. That’s the best death, isn’t it.

I’ve said it before but, people who say “It’s my ambition to die in the ring” are just trying to look cool. For a pro, it all comes down to returning home alive. And so, I believe that when the life of Kasai Jun the human being comes to an end, Kasai Jun the wrestler will die as well. I want to be a pro wrestler until I die. That’s how I feel now.

When I was young, I thought the best time for a wrestler to retire was when he could still move, when people would say “It’s a shame, because there’s still more he can do.” But if that’s true, I’ve already missed my best time to retire.

Since I’ve come this far, maybe it’s better to keep doing this until my death. Since around the time I turned 40, I started thinking this way.

Gaining years = leveling up. I’ll reach my peak just before death.

- Since you’ve been doing this for so long, it’s inevitable that your body has become weaker. Kasai, how have you dealt with aging?

The word “elderly” is a concept created by human beings, isn’t it? Since that’s the case, I believe it’s something we can absolutely overcome. I don’t think increasing in age is the same as becoming elderly.

Look, it’s true that my physical stamina has decreased and my muscles have gotten weaker than they were when I was younger. But my will and my spirit have continued to grow. Instead of just breaking even, I think I’ve leveled up. 47 years old is level 47. I now see growing older as a positive, like leveling up every year.

Because of that, my peak has yet to come. I’ll reach my peak just before I die. I’ll be at my strongest just before my death. That’s the ideal I envision for myself.

There was a time when I felt insecure about my age. When I hit my mid 30s, I hated that my body was becoming weaker.

But then, while drinking at home and watching a documentary on TV about (rock musician) Yazawa Eikichi, I realized something. “If you think about it, uncool young people are uncool, and cool guys are cool even if they’re old.” Since then, my way of thinking changed. I started calling getting older “leveling up” at around that time.

[Note from me: Suzuki Minoru also refers to getting one year older as “leveling up” in the exact same way. They are friends, so I assume Suzuki got it from Kasai.]

- I'm surprised that a pro athlete who uses his body as a weapon would think of aging in that way.

Pro wrestling and deathmatch are unique among sports. Unlike say, track and field, or swimming, it isn’t a competition where every second counts. I can’t move the way I could when I was young any more, but through my facial expressions, pauses during matches, and so on, I have many ways to express myself.

A guy can be handsome, macho, with great muscles, and completely suck as a wrestler. In contrast, a guy like me who’s ugly, short, and middle-aged, can get support from the fans. It’s a completely different genre, and that’s what makes pro wrestling so interesting.

- What about your emotional struggles? In your documentary film you said you were having some difficulty maintaining your motivation, which you described as “Deathmatch Erectile Dysfunction”

Yeah, well, that can definitely be a problem. When you’re young, you’ve just got piles of hopes and dreams and things you want to do. But as the years go on, and as you accomplish those things, you can kind of get lost.

What’s helped me increase my motivation has been the existence of people who make me think “I absolutely don’t wanna lose to this guy” or “I don’t want this guy to take all the best stuff for himself” In my case, for example, that’s been (fellow PW Freedoms deathmatch wrestler) Takeda Masashi. Or, although he’s from another organization, New Japan Pro Wrestling’s El Desperado.

That’s why for the past 3 or 4 years, I’ve been asking people to “stimulate me.” I want intimidating people to keep approaching me. Well, on the other hand, if they take the most delicious part for themselves, that’s a problem.

A fear of death led to a “selfish life”

- Incidentally, perhaps it’s too late at this point, but do you worry about being injured or dying?

I said it already but, “It’s not a deathmatch until you return alive.” Since I’m a pro, I have the skills required to do this without death or injury.

But, it’d be a lie to say “I’m not afraid.” Even now, for several days before a match I get so stressed that I can’t sleep. Despite how I look, I get plenty scared. Much of my life has been driven by a strong fear of death.

- How do you mean?

It sounds silly, but when I was in grade school I believed in “The Prophecies of Nostradamus.” Have you ever heard of it? “In the year 1999, all of humanity will be destroyed.” Every night I shook with fear in my futon, thinking that my life would end at the age of 24.

Propelled by that fear, I concluded, “If the earth is gonna get destroyed anyway, I should quit studying. Instead I should use the rest of my remaining lifetime to do stuff that I like.” I completely quit studying, and instead spent all my time watching pro wrestling, which I loved.

Conversely, my fear of death also led me to become a pro wrestler. After graduating high school, I got a job in Tokyo as a security guard, but I gave into temptation and visited brothels daily. One day I happened to be reading a magazine with an HIV checklist inside, and almost every item applied to me.

At that time, I still thought “AIDS = death” so I thought “Oh, this is AIDS.” “Oh, this is how I’ll die.”

Luckily, when I got tested the result was negative, but after preparing myself for death, I thought “I really should do what I want” and knocked on the door of Big Japan Pro Wrestling. My life has always been influenced in this way.

- I get the impression that many wrestlers die at an early age. Since then, your fear must have increased.

Nah, that’s not really true. I’m surprisingly practical about the deaths of others. I just accept it, like “That’s the kind of life you lived.” I suspect my fear of death isn’t a fear of death itself, but a fear of becoming nothing.

- A fear of becoming nothing.

I’m no (actor and spiritualist) Tanba Tetsuro, but if after you die, you go to the spirit world, and cross the Sanzu river, that’s not all that scary is it? I wouldn’t go so far as to say “it’s fine if I die” but there’s some kind of hope or meaning. But if “After death, you become complete nothingness” “After death you feel no joy or sadness” I think that’s really scary.

But these days, I don’t experience that fear of death as much as I used to. If after this interview a dump truck hits me and I die, I wouldn’t have any regrets. I could say I did what I wanted to do.

Pro wrestling is a business where you depend on your popularity with an audience, but I’ve never tried to flatter the audience to get sales or support, or thought about how to increase my popularity. Ultimately, Kasai Jun puts himself first. I’m my own number one.

To die without regrets is to win at life

- But, if someone wanted to imitate your way of life, I think most people would be profoundly afraid of not getting by financially, or of being rejected by society. Why do you think you remain stoic in the face of such fears?

What’s there worth imitating about me? If you’re selfish like me and you can change it, you should want to!

But, this is probably related to that “fear of becoming nothing” I mentioned earlier. Ever since I was little, I’ve thought stuff like “This whole world isn’t real” and “Maybe all of this is just a dream.”

Nothing in this world is certain. Since that’s the case, all you have are your own body and your own feelings. In short, I don’t believe in anything but myself, so I put myself first.

- So in order to “feel truly alive” you throw yourself into the painful world of deathmatch wrestling, which leads us back to where we started.

That’s right. I guess you could say that pain is the only thing I believe.

But when I was young, I did understand the fear of not making enough money to survive. When I was around 30 and my son had just been born, I was seized by that fear.

Really, I was broke, and I couldn’t even pay into the National Pension Fund like I was supposed to, so I went to the ward office and said “I do intend to pay, so please wait a little.” I thought to myself, “Living is so expensive and so difficult.”

- A deathmatch fighter scary enough to quiet a crying child, with such an everyday problem.

Three years after my debut, when I was around 27, I was badly injured. I quit Big Japan, and after a year’s absence, I transferred to a different group called Zero-One.

Zero-One was founded by ex-New Japan Pro Wrestler Hashimoto Shinya, and the pay was good compared to Big Japan, and they held a lot of shows, so I could wrestle frequently. The environment there was very pleasant.

But, due to the policy of the organization, I couldn’t do the deathmatches that I love. During that time as a “salaryman wrestler,” I survived, but I think deathmatch fighter Kasai Jun, pro wrestler Kasai Jun, was completely dead.

“I really should do the pro wrestling I want to do,” I thought, and I quit Zero-One, and persisted with the pro wrestling that I love. Maybe that’s why I feel like I can now “die without regrets.”

Ultimately, if you live your own life as you wish, and think “I have no regrets” when you die, you win. Maybe people today have lost sight of the essence of what it means to live. It’s fine to work hard at your job, but if you’re spending every day miserably, is that kind of life really okay with you?

I’d rather live for 20 years and laugh every day than live for 100 years and never smile. If you’ve lived for 100 years and never laughed, that’s the same as being dead, isn’t it?

写真：本永創太 ~ Photographer: Motonaga Souta

執筆：鈴木陸夫 ~ Author: Suzuki Atsuo

編集：日向コイケ（Huuuu）~ Editor: Hinata Koike (Huuuu)

#kasai jun #jun kasai #pw freedoms #pro wrestling #deathmatch #my translation #This is definitely the longest thing I have ever attempted to translate!#I've got nobody checking over my work or anything like that so as always apologies for any typos or errors that I didn't catch

318 notes · View notes