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#(but i can't be on my feet for that long without significant breaks i'm just not physically capable)
supercantaloupe · 1 year
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i'm also looking for a job right now (one of those studying a degree needing a graduate degree to work, fml) and the job market is so fucked right now. i hope you do find one soon.
thank you for your kind thoughts. i think at this point, barring any potential one-off gigs i might get asked to play, it's really unlikely i'll get a job this summer. on the bright side i DO have a job lined up for the fall -- i'm working a fellowship at my university while i'm in grad school. it doesn't pay very much, but it funds the degree which is as good as deal as i could hope for (esp cause my program will probably take up to three years). i just really really wish i had something to do in the meantime over the summer; i hate sitting around without something to Do, and i'm bad at motivating myself to do stuff, and i hate the fact that i'm not able to contribute significantly to my own expenses yet. (of course i've extremely grateful to have a support system willing to help me while i'm at this point in my life, but i do WANT to be able to support myself at least in part by now.) but considering the fact that it's already mid june (and i'm out of the country for a week pretty soon), even if there were seasonal positions still available around me no one is realistically gonna hire me for only two months of work. i think i'm pretty much fucked on that account and i just have to get over it at this point. still, it would be nice if even a fraction of the jobs i've applied to so far would even message me back...but almost none of them have. sigh!
#sasha answers#anon#ty for your care. i appreciate it i do#and i hope you get a job soon as well#it just sucks. it's so frustrating. i can't even get a crummy grocery store cashier or barista job#which is about the only thing i'm 'qualified' for (because the qualifications don't require experience)#(and i still somehow get ignored or rejected when i apply...)#the only other shit that's consistently pushed at me on indeed are waitressing jobs and I Cannot Do That#like physically i would not be able to work that job (and i would probably crumple the second a customer was shitty to me)#(but i can't be on my feet for that long without significant breaks i'm just not physically capable)#what fucking gets me too is that like...i applied to internships and stuff that i AM qualified for.#i applied to performing arts jobs#i got interviewed for some of them! i thought i had a really good shot!#but i was rejected from all of them and i don't even really know why#which is just. really upsetting#especially when i have friends my age (and younger! with as much or less experience as me!) getting jobs in this field#jobs they love and love to talk about#and they're my friends. i am so happy for them. i am. i swear#but it also does sting a bit every time#knowing that they got it and i didn't#and some of them like to say how easy it is. how great a gig it is.#just apply! there are so many positions! you don't need a lot of experience! you would love it!#well. i would love it. i know i would. that's why i applied to similar programs here#and i got rejected.#everytime.#and now it's june and i have nothing to do with myself except waste time on tumblr and bake#and it just. sucks.#anyway.#i wanna talk about me#man i even picked my grad program specifically to make sure it would give me Marketable Skills(tm) when i'm out too.
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As per usual, I was talking to a client this week about autistic cognitive processing and I felt the sand shifting under my feet. So I come here to you Tumblr to do my own autistic cognitive processing in the hopes of better serving myself and my clients.
I have known for a long time that I can't process my thoughts and emotions verbally. This is what sometimes leads to me getting frustrated, "stuck," and increasingly pressurized towards my meltdown threshhold when I'm trying to express a half-formed thought or need. This is why I often choose to process my cognition in writing. It allows me to sift about in the sands of my mind, sliding to and fro, checking and rechecking, until I find what I need.
There is something to the capacity to shape my communication more freely and without the preesure that I put myself under which often leads to stammering, stuttering, aphasia, confusion, and my inability to hold something as ephemeral as language in my head long enough to manipulate it like clay with my hands. Words are not my brain's mother tongue in the first place, and it can be a welcome relief to truly take the slowed pace I need to translate my thoughts into a language others will understand.
Some others. I am well aware of who I learned my translation process from and of how that has made my translations inaccessible to some of the very people who share my brain.
The thing is, to learn to speak at all when your brain processes this slowly takes enormous effort. To learn to CHANGE your speech is back breaking. I have been trying for fifteen years.
Autistic cognitive processing pace and the disabling ramifications aren't things we talk about often. It's one reason some of us become obsessed with having back up plan upon back up plan (because we literally cannot think fast enough to keep up with the demands of our lives). It's one of the fastest paths to burnouts and meltdowns. It's part of why we are unable to keep up with the demands of social interactions, especially in large groups (too many social cues moving too quickly to be processed at pace and we drop the ball in the moment even if we realize later).
Because the pace of our cognition is chronically slowed, we are chronically disabled socially, emotionally, cognitively, etc, and we are forced to spend an incredible amount of mental and physical energy either compensating for that, recovering from it, or both. That is energy and resources neurotypical people get to spend on other things in their lives, maybe a project or hobby, a relationship, hell, just relaxing.
There can be upsides to it. This slowed cognition seems to be related to how the process of bottom-up analysis functions during cognitive processes in Autistic folks' brains. That bottom-up analysis is a really interesting cognitive processing style that seems to be responsible for increased pattern recognition! So a lot of how we're able to analyze, learn, understand, mimic, etc based on pattern recognition is thanks to this processing style. It helps us take in a holisticly detail oriented view of the things we look at, which can (with support) make us great researchers, investigative journalists, and inventers.
But while the upsides have become more discussed as we've become more willing to see Autism itself as neutral (a very good thing in my opinion), we sometimes forget the other side of the coin.
I often find myself trying to brute force my way through my processing pace. It always ends badly. And that's really the trouble. I can talk most of the time, but I can talk A LOT faster than I can process my thoughts. So most of the time my words are just. Garbage. Sounds. If you ask my to speak to you, you are asking me to fill up soundwaves because realistically my brain moves at about 25% of the speed of the conversation.
It's why as a clinician I have to be so incredibly careful what I do and say and how I hear my clients because I *truly* am processing what the tell me at auch a significant delay. It can sometimes be days later when the information truly settles into place.
The same is obviously true in my personal life! It can take me days or even weeks to figure out what a single thought or feeling means in the context of my own life because I have to process that often entirely alone or just on paper. Not because no on one WOULD help me I have people in my life who would be willing but because by the time talking to someone would be any help, I would have basically figured it out enough to just say it out loud and I don't really need their help by then. There are rare exceptions to this when I do definitely seek help but it can be so frustrating to be trapped, voiceless, in your own emotions.
I don't have a framework for this, only the suggestion to embrace the slowness. I have found that when you are not constantly fighting against it all the time, it feels a little more like home, a little more like it's working FOR your instead of AGAINST you.
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puer-aurea · 10 months
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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Sick/Injury for Clockers + Ethodad "If you pass out, I'm not going to catch you." How this works?
It really doesn't make any sense. For this season of the games, Etho faintly remembers a lifetime where he and Cleo really were married and adopted two children, Scar and BdoubleO. But, anytime he tries to grasp at the long lost memories for more than a second, they slip through his fingertips like sand in an hourglass. Like Scar's hourglass that he found discarded in the grass a few blocks away from his injured son. Son? Son. There's no memories to refute the statement, so son it is. Scar's barely awake as Etho forces him to his feet. "If you pass out, I'm not going to catch you." He grumbled. "Etho? Oh, you don't know how happy I am to see you." Scar still spoke cheerfully despite his grave injuries. The pros of being an extrovert. Or cons, if that's what you prefer. "What even happened to you?" Etho tried to keep up the 'reluctant help' facade but his tone was laced with worry. "I came to see Grian! He's my cousin, you know." A memory flashed in Etho's head, telling him Scar and Grian were anything other than cousins. But it was gone before he could recall anything significant. "Then, I got attacked by a horde of zombies and decided to just accept my fate! It wouldn't be to bad of a loss." "What would Cleo say?" "Mom? Oh- pshh, it'd be fine. I don't even have to worry about that now since you're here!" Etho rolled his eyes but didn't say a word as he continued to help his son walk back home. It wasn't a far walk by any means, Scar just wasn't very fast when injured. When the mountain was in shooting distance, Etho sent out a message on his communicator for Bdubs to come and take Scar from him. The sun was rising and Etho had to return to TIES for a meeting. "Scar, what in void happened?" Cleo came running out towards them, taking Scar off Etho. "A horde... I'm about ready to lay down now." Scar brushed it off like it was nothing. Like he wasn't littered with injuries. "Lay down? No, Cleo and Bdubs are going to clean you up and bandage your wounds first." Etho folded his arms over his chest. "You don't intend on helping? He's your son too." Cleo glared at him.
"They want me back at the tower, I can't stay." "He's walking out on us again, mom!" Bdubs joined the rest of the family outside. "He is, isn't he?" Scar forced a smile. "Oh- you all know where I live! Just come visit if it's that big of a deal." Etho sighed and walked away without a goodbye. "Some dad he is." Scar huffed before coughing. "Don't worry about him, let's get you inside." Cleo said. Bdubs stood at Scar's other side, opposite their mom, to help them get him inside. His clothes were terribly dirty and torn up and it was obvious the horde consisted of more than just zombies. It took the duo a while to patch up their family member but soon Scar was all clean and Cleo was tucking him into bed, despite the sun breaking the horizon and him being an adult. But, a mother is a mother, and no matter the age they will always take care of their kid. <3
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doodle-pops · 1 year
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I personally feel like Celebrimbor would be a little more on the Celegorm/ Feanor side of the relationship (like dominating rather than being a switch-- once his S/O is comfy with him), because he has experienced as much pain as Maglor has.
Like yes, the fandom portrays him as a softie, but like I feel they underestimate him, because:
-- He withheld torture from Sauron for an absolutely long time, and yet never spoke up about the locations of the rings. As we know back then, the elven rings were very powerful, and if Sauron corrupted them... yeah. Celebrimbor never told him even a hint of where they would be, despite all the torture.
-- He disassociated with his family by his OWN influence. He was able to leave them without being advised to leave them, showing his smart and wise behaviour. I feel like a dom would have this.
-- He surely should have fought or strategized during the War of the Wrath because that war affected all parts of Beleriand and Middle-Earth, so he MUST have the qualities and behaviour of a leader.
-- He WAS a leader. When he left his family along with a few amount of the Noldor, he surely knew how to be charismatic and useful with words.
-- I believe that in the Halls of Mandos, he would have made amends with his family and vice versa, and when they are all re-embodied, they will be a normal family.
-- There are so many more ways he would be a dom, but at the end of the day, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
I feel like he's just like Maglor: a softie on the inside, but when required, he will be very dominant. :)
What do you think?
Nice breakdown of why you view him as more dominant than a switch. I also understand that yes, some people's trauma/life experiences can lead to them becoming domineering. But I take a view in portraying him as a switch.
My Take:
Considering him as dominant Celegorm/Feanor and I'll throw in Curufin because he isn't far off from them, doesn't appear as Celebrimbor's nature. Their type of dominance is what I would consider being born out of a lack of control, family desires and egotism (that's definitely not Celebrimbor). He would have grown up around all these dominant members of his family and witnessed what extreme superiority can do; destroy a household especially when family was of huge significance among the Feanorians. I'm not saying that he doesn't have Feanorian pride/anger, but it wouldn't be on alerting levels as the rest of his family to make him the controlling dominant.
Furthermore, having the strength and willpower to recognise that his family's unruly behaviour was a no-no and to break away, was the first step he took to throwing their dictatorial veil over his shoulder and creating a new path for himself.
Similarly, if he chooses to settle down and have a S/O, this indicates that he's aware of the do's and don'ts: not wanting to direct them down the same path as him because of the internal fear of channelling the same dictating demeanour that he observed destroying his family household. To him, his family is the blueprint of the do's and don'ts so he can learn how to be a respectful authoritative figure while knowing when to be submissive.
He is the type of person who'd become relaxed and trusting when he finds his S/O. No good relationship can exist without mutual trust and respect, and given his entire life surrounding him having no choice but to take an authoritative stance, there are times he would love to have that mantle taken off his shoulders. To be pampered a bit and not have to take the lead or constantly stand ten feet tall to remind everyone of who he is. All Celebrimbor wants is to just craft in peace, have a loving S/O and live away from the family drama.
When he is authoritative, it's natural (some stemming from his family's genes; can't run away from all) and is formed under mutual respect and trust for his lover and his duties as Lord since there aren't any hidden motives or desperate reasons.
N.B: His refusal to reveal the location of the three rings was an act of heroism if you wish to call it that. Celebrimbor knew what would happen should Sauron get his hands on the final rings since he was aware of his plans. I wouldn't call that an act of dominance but, selflessness. It takes a great deal of courage to know that you're going to lose your life in order to save others.
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lt-sarai · 2 years
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My friends want to play Pathfinder 2e again.
Side note: we're changing campaigns again and yes I'm salty about it but it's fine bc our dm was kind of forced into DMing that one and I'm not gonna be petty about him being bitter about the campaign he was forced to dm, he's the forever dm bc none of us are good at it and he can do what he wants bc we want him to be happy
So we're changing campaigns since we can meet in person and the current campaign is on roll20 and not exactly easy to implement in person play. And they want to continue with Pathfinder 2e.
But y'all. I kind of hate pf2e. I'm so used to 5e. I hate that 2e doesn't heal you to full at a long rest. I hate that you can't break up your movement around your other actions.
Actually that's the part I hate the most. It makes absolutely no sense to me to not be able to break up your movement. I've got 25 feet to move in one turn. I should be able to move 10 feet, attack, and move another 15 feet without using 2 fucking Actions to move. I hate it. It's fucking stupid. And if my friends were fun and recognized that the rules are more like guidelines and not stupid rules lawyers out to ruin my fun WE COULD PLAY LIKE THAT BC IT'S A GAME OF THE IMAGINATION. THERE ARE NO PHYSICAL MECHANICS KEEPING MY TOKEN IN ONE PLACE AFTER ATTACKING, I COULD JUST MOVE IT AGAIN. But noooo, that's not how this game works. We don't homebrew rules here.
God if I could DM I would, just to change that one fucking rule, and since I was DM they couldn't say shit about it.
And Idk if it was my bard build, the class itself, or just the way I thought my character had to be played to be useful, but I feel like I did so little during encounters, and that what I did was always the same so it got super boring.
Not to mention, we didn't get above level 4. We played for a significant period of time before our hiatus, and I feel like we spent way too much time at level 3 and 4.
Character building is cool and really customizable, but I haven't played 5e enough to be bored with what's available there.
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isntthatwrite · 20 days
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i love you in the same way there’s a chapel in a hospital 8th house x 12th house trine
describe what that means
death meets purgatory. what needs to end lives long enough to drive you to insanity
i had an aperol spritz after work the other day and heard Hum Hallelujah a few sips in, which of course prompted an astro deep dive on Fall Out Boy. i started with pete, as the primary writer for most of their songs. pete wentz, aka peter wentz III (noting the generational baggage of when a name is passed down), with his tightest chart aspect being a moon conjunct pluto (can't be entirely sure sans birth time, but i'm running odds on this being at least a very significant aspect in his chart) carries family baggage that he cannot seem to put down. perhaps cannot even be articulated, and even if it could, we do not all need to know! not my business but i sure do know it's there. he and patrick stump have really interesting chart contacts - often describing their creative process as argumentative and combative yet stunningly aligned. for the astrology heads- stump has at least 1 yod (2 depending on birth time), both loosely touching a piece of wentz's chart and both are pretty influenced by taurus/venus/scorpio/pluto aspects/oppositions. the divine plan is merciful for having them join forces as musicians and creating a space to transmute all that energy. hope the divine plan also leaks either/both of their birth times. joe is a virgo and andy is a gemini - lotssss of mercurial energy in this cohort
i think something fall out boy as a group really did the best at (particularly in the first few albums), largely led by wentz's lyrics, is depicting karmic relationship. ever debated, continually denied, widely attempted to be explained, never replicated but often repeated - many are familiar with the notion of things like "love at first sight", immediately falling for someone upon meeting, fated encounters, Feeling A Spark, whatever you want to call it. if you subscribe to past lives (they even have a song called Past Life) as a framework, this is your bread and butter. it's very romantic to those who haven't experienced it, and to many who have experienced it without identifying it for what it was. love stories and fairytales and the like operate off a similar notion - love is something that finds us and wraps us up and takes us away somewhere beautiful. there is nothing to work on or build, it is love because it just magically shows up one day. everyone else who had to work so hard for it was just wrong. they didn't know love like i do! but do you actually notice the trajectory of most of these Magical Fairy Princess Swept Off Your Feet relationships? some mercifully learn their lessons and break their patterns, but the vast majority are simply driven to madness by the heightened and inexplicable emotion. it's a very solitary experience, and the closest thing you have as a witness is the person that brought it all on and they will surely not be able to ground you. you feel both like you understand everyone in the world who has been gone insane at the hands of love and also like you're the only person to have ever suffered in the greater history of the world. no one knows agony like i know agony and i can prove it, but i can never explain it. romeo and juliet sounded needlessly dramatic until you have one of these.
to loop astrology back in- in this discussion, i am particularly thinking about the grand trine formed between the 4th/8th/12th houses. a picture (worth 1000 words) (yes i drew it)
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i'm focusing largely on the trine between the 8th house and the 12th house here, but i feel it's necessary to acknowledge that this grand trine configuration is formed and the energy loop closes when the 4th house is brought in. as physics teaches us, triangles are the most stable/strongest shape, and any piece of this trine alone becomes much less durable. the energy is most stable and freely flowing when all three can connect. the 8th house deals with death, rebirth, change, transformation, shadow self, intimacy/sex, inheritances/debts/loans and the 12th house deals with spirituality, solitude, karma, healing (lots to do with mental health/addiction), closing of cycles, reflection, undoing, what is unconscious and hidden, anything purgatorial and reflective. they have a clearly reciprocal relationship - the hidden dark demons we try to put away but tug on us for attention. the apparitions will find you and don't particularly care if you had a long day. the 4th house is about home, roots/foundations, family, parents (siblings is more 3rd house) inner life. 4H and 8H without 12H, 4H and 12H without 8H, 8H and 12H without 4H are all clearly out of balance, but when we can connect all 3 and develop conscious awareness of our raising and generational patterns and inherited attitudes/beliefs/material circumstances and process the hardships, we typically have a much better grasp on our own sanity/stability. these are the parts of us most likely stuffed in the closet or under the bed that we hope to avoid looking at, but they eat away at us if we don't make space for them.
karmic relationships tend to hit one (or all!) of these houses pretty hard and force you to reckon with whichever theme associated. mental health, family dynamics, subconscious feelings about yourself, so on. to me, it's kind of as witchy or non-witchy as you seek to make it - relationships change us! experiencing connection with others perpetually awakens us to different parts of ourselves and calls into question how we've managed and coped thus far in life. our minds adore pattern recognition (for better or for worse) and sometimes we lose sight of whether this strong feeling is love or just that recognizably painful thing again. sometimes, we meet someone who is somehow immediately capable of reflecting all of our biggest wounds back to us, and we somehow reach first for the word "love".
we romanticize what hurts. we perversely love the agony. we poke the bruise so repeatedly that it never heals. the pain/pleasure dichotomy blurs and we can no longer distinguish who lives where. you can tell the unifying theme between the members of fall out boy is this feeling of overwhelming agony. as is inherent to anyone who dares call themselves "pop-punk", each member covers their angle on dramatized angst and pain. at times, while watching interviews, i found myself wondering if it was ethical for these guys to have been famous. shame that part of the bargain with creating art that reaches others is that you have to share it with people. to be a creative is to encourage the spectacle. fans create mythologies, and at the end of the day, i don't know any of these people. i'm just a guy who was a preteen when they were first getting famous. i didn't know it yet, but i was bound to come back and analyze bars like "loaded god complex, cock it and pull it" almost a decade later.
i'd actually just like to list out some of my favorite lyrics from this early era of fall out boy.
i only keep myself this sick in the head because i know how the words get you
my mind is a safe, and if I keep it in we all get rich, my body is an orphanage, we take everyone in
if home is where the heart is, then we're all just fucked
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cookiedoughuwu · 2 years
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☾ ℳ𝑜𝑜𝓃𝒞𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹 ☽ Minjoon
It's late at night.
The stars and full moon are out shining bright.
I've been up for quite some time, staring at my phone waiting for a notification to arrive.
I sighed as I awaited that special text from you.
Yeah I'm tired and it's late but without you, by my side, I won't be able to sleep anyway.
Speaking the language of love or saying the words I want to say is hard to convey.
It's so warm and cozy in our room, on a cold late night-yet it's not perfect until I know you're alright.
I mean, I know you're okay and just fine but I miss you because you're gone sometimes.
Always busy making music, developing your own perceptive view on the world on how you see things.
Other times we'd talk and lay together in bed and watch a scary movie.
Most days you would teach me how to write a few song lyrics.
I adore your love for sea animals even though to me they still taste great!
Yet within your heart you find so much merciful grace.
I adore how cute and clumsy you are when it comes to doing anything.
There's always something you break or destroy, never on purpose.
Yet it always happens no matter what object you choose.
I adore your intelligence it's one of a kind and definitely elegant.
I adore how you're so well-mannered and respectful, you grew into something so amazing, didn't you?
Like a perfectly watered plant, you matured and blossomed into something so much more.
Like the guy who swept me off my feet and made sure I fell for.
I know I shouldn't have a crush on you, but it just felt so right!
I know it's wrong to have a crush on my bandmate for so long.
But can you blame me?!
Your beautiful music and intellectual personality is pulling me in and I'm falling harder than dead leaves for you.
I'm just not over how it all happened so fast.
Way back in the past from the moment I saw you, I knew you were the one.
It was clearly a stream of serendipity when I first joined this group and saw you.
At first, I didn't think I'd like you like that.
Back then you were just another great bandmate and nothing more.
Until now once I realized how adorable you looked whilst catching crabs by the sea shore.
Then my simple 'small details' of noticing all the cute things you do develop into something much bigger.
Anytime you smiled, get flustered at yourself for being cute, or even breaking something, I'd smile as well.
Eventually, I always caught myself staring at the walking picture-perfect painting in front of me.
My eyes always dwelled on your body,
Whether it was when you were looking and sounding as amorous as a red rose during expensive girl.
If not, then you would be naturally striking as a buttercup.
Even with or without makeup!
You still look perfectly imperfect to me and way better than anyone else.
Without makeup, you have nothing but absolute ethereal beauty.
With makeup, you look better than any actor or character I've seen in anime or a movie.
Truly, in my heart, you shine brighter than any star.
You're my light, the motivation I use to keep me going so far!
A passionate leader who knows exactly who they are.
Not a fake rapper wannabe.
Not an untrustworthy person who doesn't know how to lead.
Not an unexpressive person in their music whatsoever, which is something every A.R.M.Y sees.
I'm proud to know that you're the man I love.
Ever since I liked you, my feelings flew high in the sky like white doves.
I can't wait till you get home Hyung.
But for now, I'll wait for you to get back since I miss you so much.
I really do love you Kim Namjoon, I hope this poem means something to you.
Whether it's your own true feelings back or something less significant.
Yet whatever it is, I'll be happy, whether it's your feelings that you like me back.
Or the feelings for me that you lack.
I'll just be happy knowing that you read this and saw my confession.
Thank you for being such a great leader and best friend.
I know I keep saying it, but I'll say it again, I love you Kim Namjoon.
Please allow me to love you as you are.
I'll wait for however long it takes, since me loving you was never a mistake.
I hope this poem will be engraved within your heart, to show how my love for you, will never fall apart.
I love you Kim Namjoon.
I hope you just let me love you for you.
C'mon, y'all~
Moonchild, don't cry~
When moon rise, it's your time~
C'mon, y'all~
Moonchild, you shine~
When moon rise, it's your time~
C'mon, y'all~
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reilliane · 3 years
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Snowfall ★ Chongyun
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— ★ Scry: Solar Umbra + Chongyun + Reader's Prompt (First Kiss) — ★ Genre: Romance + Fluff — ★ Concept: Using the excuse of the heat and his Yang energy to shy away from a kiss won't work now that he's cornered at Dragonspine. — ★ Words: 1.7k A/N: This is the first time I'm writing for 'first kisses' and- well, though I do write fluff, I barely write kisses! EEEEEE- i can't believe i got flustered writing this.
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There is no escape. It’s too late.
He should’ve been more alert, more suspicious—but how can he deny a trip to Dragonspine? It’s practically the only place that aids in grounding his Yang constitution.
Besides, he can’t quite be suspicious of his usually straightforward significant other.
It’s been a long time since he reciprocated the feelings—more like [Name] confessed and he passed out—well over a year, now.
Almost two?
He doesn’t really count, he finds it impossible to when his Yang gets the best of him whenever he’s reminded of how long the relationship is going on.
[Name] is his complete opposite, or, well, she’s the person he’d be if he isn’t holding back his congenital positivity.
A lively speaker, adventurer, and lover who doesn’t fear anything. At least, to his knowledge.
She’s such a flirt, really—she’s dangerous in that aspect—and has a knack for making his heart race without even trying. From the tiniest of winks to the teasing brushes of her fingers on his chin.
Sometimes he wonders how he lasted this long.
[Name]’s more than thoughtful of his unique constitution, though, so she hasn’t really ‘attacked’ him with all sorts of endearment out of consideration.
It’s a good thing and boy, he’s grateful—but he knows for a fact that it’s impossible to restrain a naturally affectionate person.
Chongyun wonders about the time his lover will eventually break free from her patience but doesn’t last long—he’ll get warm almost immediately just thinking of-
Ah, well, that’s too late now.
He’s heard of a saying that if one thinks about something for a long period of time, it’s bound to manifest in some way or another. Maybe it has finally come in full swing—?
Or perhaps fate has just gotten tired of his stalling?
Or maybe it’s just [Name]’s breaking point!? There’s no other explanation, is there?
Why else would he be trying to hide from her in Dragonspine like she’s out to get him?
Oh—well, technically she is, but—
“Found you!”
A panicked shriek spills through Chongyun’s lips as he falls to the cushioning snow, his heart lurching when the [c]nette ambles past the hiding spot with a beaming grin on her face.
“Oh my,” she giggles with a suggestive look, hands on her hips, “Am I meant to top? I don’t have any—”
“[Name]!!” Chongyun chides, jumping to his feet, “Don’t say things like that—you know that I-“
His cheeks are already tinging with pink, deepening by the second and warming when the girl only hushes that it’s an adorable sight.
Feet brushing past the collective snow, the exorcist raises his cold palms to meet his face, trying to get them to cool down.
It’s working—thanks to the wintry climate—but then he realizes that this is exactly what his lover wishes for.
The grin that curls her lips says it all.
You’re in a place where you can’t be overridden by Yang, so you’ve no choice but to answer to my whims! Or something like that. He likes to believe that he has figured her out.
Still, this is the predicament he’s in. His heart—oh Celestias, his heart.
Still encapsulated with panic, he turns away, palming his chest as if it’ll steady the pacing of his organ. The cold is already nipping on his skin, and yet—his body temperature is… !
“Yun,” the soft calling of his nickname has him looking at the girl, who ambles closer, not enough to close the whole distance, but close enough.
She takes a look over his slightly hunched position, the shyness in his eyes, and the pinkness of his cheeks. Then she pouts, “It’s not like I’m going to kiss you..”
That grabs his attention.
“Ah—really?”
Oh, then—he’s fretting over nonsense? Maybe he’s overthinking things, maybe this really is just a trip to Dragonspine!
Yes, yes that’s right, he shouldn’t really jump to—
[Name] smiles. “I’m politely asking you to kiss me!”
—Conclusions…
His reaction is delayed by a fraction of a second, the cogs in his head twisting and turning—locking in place after a thorough register of what he’s heard until-
“K-kiss you!” he squeaks, jumping backward. He isn’t expecting that.
But then again, he isn’t expecting anything!
The snow crunches under [Name]’s approaching feet, the smile on her face growing. A dust of pink is present on her cheeks, but rather than believing it to be one of timidity and fluster, the exorcist knows it to be simply because of the cold.
Her woolen scarf may give her enough warmth—ah her fingers are faintly trembling—but despite the frigidity of the climate, she doesn’t seem to mind it at all.
“Come now, Chongyun, I’m starving~”
He splutters at this, shaking his head, problems momentarily forgotten. Hungry?
“What? If you’re starving, we should’ve—”
“For your affection, you dummy!” [Name] bursts, lower lip puckering in a peeved pout.
The exorcist can’t help but look away from the adorable sight as the girl continues, “I understand that you’re trying to control your Yang… that’s why we’re here!”
Dear heavens he hopes he’d pass out.
“That’s…”
So, his prior assumption is correct all along—she brought him here to… to… !
Ah, it’s no use! Chongyun holds his face in his hand with a small whine, getting warmer by the second. Even thinking of it is making me…
He sees [Name] between the gaps of his fingers, swaying back and forth, expression a little downcast, along with her voice.
“Unless—there’s a reason why you don’t want to.. well, I don’t mind but.. let me know, at least?”
Oh? ‘Don’t want to?’
That pauses his train of thought—is it true that he doesn’t want to initiate any form of physical affection? Debatable.
It’s not like that, he’s certain. Nothing can ever lead him to doubt his sentiments for [Name]…
So, then, he’s just shy? Is that it?
Conscious of what might happen if he lost himself to his Yang?
Ah—but if his constitution is removed from the equation, would he be willing to answer to his lover’s want for affection?
Chongyun repeats this question over and over in his head and finds that—yes, he’d be more than willing to.
The falling of snow comes like the rain, in gentle drops that obscure the environment. If his eyes aren’t trained on the girl in front of him, he would’ve lost sight of her—but he hasn’t.
So, within the snowfall, he sees with great clarity the influence of his constant evasion from intimacy; the subtle frown, the drooping of eyes…
“It’s not like I’m doubting you or anything, it’s just—well..” she trails off.
She needn’t even continue for him to understand what she’s trying to say.
Ah, I see… I’ve made you lonely—haven’t I?
Chongyun feels bad that [Name] deliberately chose not to be blunt this time around, a clear sign of being thoughtful in fear that it may offend him.
The realization has him casting his eyes away, chest getting heavy.
He knows he’s not the kind of person to indulge himself in affectionate gestures nor anything remotely similar, all because he needs to keep an eye on his Yang.
He’s been too focused on it that he’s neglected his partner.
[Name] must’ve mistaken his silence for either offense or unsettlement, because suddenly she’s tugging on the sleeve of his apparel with an apologetic smile.
“If you want,” there are snowflakes on her tresses, its brightness mirroring the gleam in her eyes. “We can just hug?”
“…”
Chongyun swallows, the gentle furrow of his brows that implied his concern thankfully being hidden by his bangs.
He’d hate to think that [Name] has unnerved him when in fact, he’d never been.
He was simply… shy. And nervous.
A hug, huh… even now, you’re being considerate. It stings his cheeks with warmth, opposing the color of his hair and standing out from all the white the cold mountain has to offer.
The cold—yes, until now it’s doing wonders in holding back his Yang. Indeed… this is the perfect place, as [Name] hoped for.
“Oof!” said girl squeaks when she’s pulled to the exorcist’s chest, hands on the back of her head and around her waist, trapped in an embrace.
“Hehe, I didn’t take you much for a hugger, how adorable.” He hears her say after what he assumes is genuine surprise.
The fact that she’s surprised in the first place just tells him how much he lacked in this department.
Her giggles resound close to his ears. She is near.
The distance is nonexistent as Chongyun relishes in the way he’s embraced back in return. He never thought it’d be like this—it feels nice. And [Name]’s happy.
He withdraws from the hug, cheeks beginning to flare as he endeavors not to think too much of his pounding heart.
A hug, as you wished for.
“Chongyun?”
But it isn’t what you really wanted, no?
Gingerly, he cups her cheeks, swallowing dryly when the [c]nette nuzzles against it with an addled hum. Cute.
[Name] repeats her call of his name, confusion evident when he continues to be still—at least, that’s what she thought.
Until she feels the thumb on her cheek brushing away what seems to be a snowflake.
“I’ll do my best to make you happy from now on.”
She isn’t prepared at all when the exorcist draws closer, any ounce of reluctance—if there even is any—unseen.
In spite of the chill provided by the falling snow and Cryo being Chongyun’s element, [Name] denotes how warm his lips actually are.
Soft, carrying sweet traces of sunsettias from the popsicles she’s made.
Her mind blanks, hindering any outright reactions until they both part—faces wholly cerise, lips faintly parted.
Ah… he…
The realization kicks in with the explosive grin on her face.
“Aw, Yun!” her response is swift, jumping to plant a kiss of her own, this time at the corner of Chongyun’s lips.
Still not having recovered from the fact that he has initiated his first act of affection, he stumbles back, almost falling down to the snow.
“Ggh—!?”
Oh, this is bad. He panics.
The abnormal spike of his temperature—the lovely sight of his mirthful muse, the lasting remembrance of her lips—ah, that was their first kiss, right?
Oh dear—
“H-hey!? We’re literally in Dragonspine!”
[Name]’s bewildered cry is no longer responded to even when she catches her unconscious significant other in her arms before he can fall, his body leaning onto her hold.
In the curtain of snow, she can see the redness of his face, as well as his dazed, lovestruck smile.
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a/n: dragonspine?? what's that?? chongyun's still fainting anyway- don't worry bb, you kissed first, like a champ!
@cherryflushz @e7t3 @scarlet-halos @lordbugs @nebulaera @annoying-and-upset @hanniejji @applepi1415
𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭'𝐬 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐆𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬
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blondiest · 2 years
Note
What is “angry as hell” about?? :)
both you and @152glasslippers asked about this one!! 🥰
the core concept was for chrissy to learn to tap into and let out some of her anger / frustration... i think originally this was going to be an AU where she became a punk singer? lol. it more or less was the spiritual precursor to call it what you want, though a lot was changed between the two.
i think the following is literally the first thing i ever wrote for hellcheer (and sorry it's mostly unedited lol):
A month before graduation, after the championship game, Jason asks Chrissy the question she's been dreading, gets down on one knee in front of the whole school and makes a big speech— things haven't been easy since last year, I know, he says, but I never quit on you, because I love you, babe. Will you marry me?
She chokes on tears, face bright red as she shakes her head, panicked. No.
A hushed gasp from the crowd of students. The rush of blood in her ears. Chrissy turns and flees. Jason stays glued to his spot, frozen in disbelief as she runs harder than she ever has.
She should want it. It's what's logical, what's right. It's everything that she should want. There's something under the fear, the shame, the despair, though, something that blooms in her chest as she bursts through the doors of the high school, growing as her feet carry her into the darkness of the parking lot.
It takes a few moments to realize it's relief. Profound relief.
As her tears cool on her cheeks, the sound of a door swinging open and a chorus of voices sounds from across the lot. She hastily wipes at her eyes. Not people from the basketball game, of course, they're coming from the next building over— they're easily recognized by the shirts, emblazoned Hellfire Club.
She stands watching, unnoticed by the joyful younger members as they run off, still laughing, and paid no mind by the other older students, who retreat to their cars.
Only not everyone fails to see her. Chrissy locks eyes with the head of the club, Eddie Munson.
Insanely, she raises a hand to wave. He freezes, points at himself, eyebrows raised. She nods.
Behind her, there are muffled voices, students about to emerge from the game. Eddie jerks his head towards his van. Before she can think too much about it, she darts over and climbs into the passenger side as Eddie throws himself in, shutting the door behind him.
"Uh," he starts, glancing over at her nervously. "You... okay?"
It isn't the first time they've been alone together, but it's been a very long time. He sold her weed once, in the woods behind the school, less than a month after her mom died. He was friendly, kind. Easier to talk to than she had thought he would be. Still, they hadn't spoken since.
"Can you... um... sorry, can you get me out of here? Please?"
Her voice is thin and trembling, pathetically weak and pleading to her own ears. Eddie, for his part, nods jerkily and starts the car without another word.
Distantly she realizes there's a significant chance some of the students from the game see her leaving with him. Somehow she can't muster the energy to care, though.
Eddie drives in silence for several minutes, the streetlights illuminating his pale face as they swerve through streets lined with homes and businesses before eventually pulling onto the long, dark road between the central area of Hawkins and the sticks.
"So, uh," he starts, clearing his throat. "I'm... I'm mostly driving to my place now, but I can turn around and drop you off wherever—"
"I'm," she starts and then stops. "Um. Can I... I don't want to be a bother, just... I— I don't want to be alone right now." Her voice breaks at the end of her sentence.
"Sure. Yeah, okay. You're okay with going to mine, though?"
She nods. He turns his face back to the road and keeps driving.
— - — -
"Do you, uh... wanna talk about... whatever's going on...?" Eddie finally asks, eyebrows raised as he glances up at her, carefully rolling the joint.
Chrissy licks her lips. "Um," she says, unsure where to start. "Jason proposed to me, after... after they won tonight's game."
Eddie's eyebrows crawl further up his face.
"What with the crying and the uh, being here, I'm assuming congratulations aren't in order."
She laughs, a little humorless huff, and nods again, shifting to move her legs out from underneath her. Eddie's eyes follow the motion before tearing away again. It makes her feel a little warm despite herself.
"I said no," she confesses.
Eddie lights the end of the joint and inhales deeply, letting the smoke stream back out of his nostrils. It's wrong, and a little pathetic, wanting him— a sad little rebellion for a squeaky-clean head cheerleader. And as far as she knows, Eddie has no interest in her beyond basic kindness, and he probably knows girls ten times more beautiful, tattooed and confident and worldly instead of naive and scared of their own shadows.
Still, she watches his mouth as he takes another hit before passing her the joint, and relishes the brush of their fingers a little.
Thirty minutes later, Chrissy is sprawled out on the bedroom floor, staring at the water-stained ceiling, happier than she's been in years. Some hard rock music is playing kind of low in the background— when Eddie turned it on, it was at full blast, but when she jumped at the noise he quickly lowered the volume. The sensation of the carpet against her bare legs is somehow wonderful, every feeling vivid and intense. She runs her hands over it and says as much to Eddie.
He laughs, glances over at her. "Yeah, it'll do that. Music sounds better, food tastes better, stuff that feels good feels even better."
She hums.
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moririki · 3 years
Text
⤷ AN EIGHT-LEGGED PROBLEM
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OIKAWA TOORU & SAKUSA KIYOOMI & HAIBA LEV & MIYA ATSUMU X READER -> 1.8K
you save your boyfriend from a massive problem which is currently in the corner of your bathroom )
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REQUEST -> n/a
CONTAINS -> spiders, bugs, you picking up said creepy crawlies, hq boys being no! help! at! all! (but that's ok bc we love them for it), fanon-ish sakusa cos i haven't read the manga and he had like 5 seconds of screen time so i'm just going off of what i've read + seen, clear favouritism despite the fact that i know basically nothing about sakusa, manga timeskip spoilers in sakusa's
MORI'S THOUGHTS -> haven't seen one where the reader is the one in the relationship who takes care of bugs so since i'm a #girlboss who throws spiders out of my room whenever i see them without breaking a sweat i'm writing that into a fun lil thing with the haikyuu boys that i strongly believe are scared of bugs. also besides the point but look at the pretty colour palette that their banners make fjfjfjdj will go back to writing the requests after this! inspiration just struck
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❍ OIKAWA TOORU
-> omg this fucking guy
-> don't let his pride fool you this man HATES bugs with a burning passion
-> he'll never admit it though
-> between you and the aoba johsai team he would never hear the end of how the great king oikawa would cower at the sight of a moth doing laps around a lightbulb
-> so when you pretended not to hear the shriek that left your boyfriend when he saw something flying around the bathroom light and he declined your offer to get rid of the moth for him, this left oikawa in a pretty difficult situation
-> it was just him alone in the bathroom, trying to brush his teeth while eyeing the bug warily
-> you came in a few minutes later, getting ready to go to bed as well
-> "you know, babe, that moth's been there for quite a while," you teased him
-> oikawa hummed in response, his eyes never leaving it as it continued its circumnavigation of the light fixture
-> "oh, you know. who am i to kick someone out of their home? i'm no monster"
-> you almost snorted at how poor of an excuse that was, but ruffled your boyfriend's hair anyway
-> "i'll take care of it, ru, you just finish getting ready"
-> "but y/n-chan, that moth has feelings! don't be mean to it!"
-> you gave tooru a very blank stare at that
-> "so do you want me to leave you alone with your new friend?"
-> "......no"
-> "that's what i thought"
-> you went up to the moth, managing to trap it in your hands before releasing it from a window
-> oikawa shuddered as you came back to the sink, giving your hands a quick rinse before resuming with brushing your teeth like nothing had happened
-> "you're so brave, my love"
-> "anything for you, babe"
❍ SAKUSA KIYOOMI
-> bless this poor boy
-> so it's no secret that sakusa isn't the fondest of germs
-> and that extends to bugs and spiders too
-> besides a normal amount of disgust that he held for them, the thought of where the insects had been or placed one of their many feet on never failed to make his skin crawl
-> that's where you, his wonderful significant other, comes in
-> as much as he loves you, he just can't understand how you always stared at bugs with wonder in your eyes
-> you'd even pick them up, cooing at the way they crawled up your arm while sakusa just stared at you in disbelief with a can of bug spray in hand
-> tonight was one of those swelteringly hot summer nights
-> you know, the ones where the air seems to be still no matter how many windows you open and every insect in a mile radius is actively trying to enter your home
-> you were spending the night at your boyfriend's apartment, ready to have a relaxing night in with him since your schedules had finally synced up and allowed you both to enjoy a day off at the same time
-> it took months of trust before sakusa finally admitted to you how much he enjoyed doing skincare
-> so whenever you two spent the night together, you decided to start the evening with some face masks and idle binging of a tv show
-> against his half-hearted protests, you had insisted that sakusa wore a headband while this happened (one that had a very cute duck face printed on it)
-> just to keep the curls out of his face, of course
-> whenever he caught you sneaking a candid of him with facemask and duck headband on, he just shot you a halfhearted glare and threatened you to never send that to atsumu or the rest of the msby team
-> (you set it as your home screen instead)
-> anyways, i digress
-> so tonight you decided to cool down from the heat with a few facemasks and cuddling in your boyfriend's heavily air conditioned living room
-> but he kept all his skincare stuff in the bathroom, so you went to go get them as he set up a show to watch along with some snacks
-> you flicked on the light, going to his cabinet when something in the corner of the room caught your eye
-> there was a fairly large spider, desperately trying to crawl up the smooth tile wall
-> you decided to take pity on it and release it
-> but when you had it cupped safely in your hands, you decided to terrorise your poor boyfriend just a little
-> "hey, omi, look what i found!"
-> your boyfriend perked up at your signature nickname for him, though his eyes narrowed as he saw your clasped hands held in front of you
-> "no"
-> "but baby, you haven't even seen-"
-> "no"
-> you giggled at how defensive he had become
-> "come on, don't you want to name it? it's very cute"
-> "i want you to throw it out, y/n"
-> "alright, alright"
-> you took the spider to a window, releasing it back outside before heading back to the bathroom and grabbing a few masks for real this time
-> sakusa gave you the cold shoulder as you sat down next to him, humming as you gave him a face mask and putting it on without a word
-> "aww, baby, i'm sorry"
-> "..."
-> "i'll give you a head massage if you stop ignoring me?"
-> sakusa turned to you, his eyes narrowed in thought as he stared you down
-> the act soon broke, though, and he smiled against the sheet mask that was on his face
-> "it better be a good one," he huffed as he tugged the duck headband off, already sighing at the sensation of your fingers against his scalp
-> "omi, come on, what do you take me for?"
❍ HAIBA LEV
-> ngl lev gives off equal amounts of being terrified of like the tiniest spider or just finding bugs insanely cool vibes
-> it's funnier to imagine this 6-foot-something guy scramble away from a fucking crane fly in terror though so this is how it's going to play out
-> when you invited your giant of a boyfriend to your flat, you didn't anticipate just how small he made everything appear
-> he even towered in your doorway, having to stoop to step through into your hall
-> "woahh, i love your place!"
-> it was his first time staying over for the night, and lev was making sure to drink in every aspect of your interior design
-> you found it sweet of him, and watched as he stared in wide-eyed wonder at the little trinkets you had collected over the years to make your small apartment seem more like a home
-> you didn't expect him to scream at the top of his lungs and practically run back to you, though
-> you jumped at the sound, watching as he scrambled away from your lamp and pointed back at it with a shaking finger
-> you squinted at it, making out the very menacing form of a crane fly as it bumped into the lampshade and continued on its path
-> "lev, you big baby," you giggled, heading to the kitchen to grab a glass and trap it
-> "y/n, don't leave me alone with it!" he yelped, and you rolled your eyes at his antics
-> you came back, smoothly capturing the insect and throwing it out of a nearby window
-> lev was sat on your couch the whole time, hands covering his eyes as he curled in a ball
-> "is it gone?" he asked, and you you giggled at how childlike he was acting at the moment
-> "it's all good, baby" you smoothed his hair and lev gratefully leaned into your touch, a sigh of relief leaving him
-> "thank you, y/n"
-> "i'll get rid of all the bugs in the world for you, lev"
❍ MIYA ATSUMU
-> gives off the vibes that he used to eat bugs as a child i'm sorry but
-> have mercy on his soul lmao
-> so twins are supposed to be identical right?
-> anyone who spends more than a few minutes around the miya twins know that that's a complete fucking lie
-> and you've had the misfortune of being friends with them for a very long time
-> like your mums were friends and you were all born around the same time
-> you've been pulled into their shit before you could walk or talk
-> so you're well aware of just how different these mfs are
-> even though they were both absolute bastards, osamu always had a slightly more mellowed out approach which would always end up with atsumu getting the blame for what they got up to
-> especially as a child, osamu loved to terrorise his twin with the unwilling help of you
-> one of the ways was through osamu exploiting one of his twins' fears
-> that being bugs and spiders
-> he always cackled at the sight of atsumu screaming and trying to run away from him due to the spider he was holding
-> as they both grew up, this became less of a frequent thing for osamu to do
-> you also somehow started dating atsumu, but nobody could exactly pinpoint a moment that signified a beginning to your relationship
-> but since you're dating the world's biggest manchild in disguise, and osamu gets annoyed with atsumu quite easily, you would have to swoop in to rescue him from time to time
-> recently the twins had been getting a little snappy with each other, and it had yet to sort itself out
-> from what you had heard your boyfriend was in the wrong this time, but you still listened to him whine and rant about it
-> you were going to the inarizaki school gym to say hi to your boyfriend and best friend before practice started, only to see absolute chaos unfolding
-> with kita yet to arrive, the twins were effectively unleashed and that much was clear with the way atsumu was practically screaming his head off as he ran around the gym
-> your eyes took in the rest of the players- aran had his head in his hands, suna was snickering with his phone out to record the newest miya twin fight, and osamu's deranged laugh could be heard above everything else as he chased his brother, hand held out in front of him
-> only one thing was capable of making atsumu scream like that, so you already knew what was happening
-> atsumu quickly spotted you hovering in the doorway, and made a beeline to where you were
-> his eyes were panicked, and you were quick to wrap him in a hug as you shot osamu a nasty glare over his shoulder
-> literally this lmfao
-> "that's enough, 'samu"
-> your best friend paused, before a smile spread across his face as he dangled the centipede in front of him
-> "you know it was rubber, right?"
-> you felt your boyfriend tense in your arms and you bit your lip to stifle a small giggle
-> but at least they would be back to normal by the end of today
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back to the menu - ,, 🕷 ·˚ ༘ ꒱
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cryptiql · 3 years
Text
smoke signals
pairing: dabi/m!reader
warnings: smoking, mentions of anxiety and abuse, but otherwise okay. please do not read forward if any of the listed warnings might trigger you in any way, and stay safe <3
words: 6.5k
a/n: this is my first ever mha fic and the fact that i decided to do dabi first shows i have some massive balls but i'm giving it a try! if he seems ooc at all or i get some facts wrong, please lmk and i'll fix them. (heavily inspired by smoke signals by phoebe bridgers—would recommend listening to it or any of her other songs while reading)
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dabi found the meaning of life in a simple strum of chords; a melody twisted by melancholy tunes that resonated deep within the gates of his mind. they haunt him—either by breaking his conscious from a much needed rest to bring him tossing and turning in the damp air of the loft, or making sure that he stayed wide awake during the late hours of the night and well into the creeping day. the lyrics are so surreal that he has to sit down and contemplate their meaning like an english teacher would to the color red, but they're painted saccharine and drip with honey flowing from the mouth that sings them and he hates it. he hates that he's wasted moments better spent wrecking havoc just to understand that stupid little ditty that clings to his heart like a leech. but this song did not come from his own craft—no.
dabi had known the putrid stench of sweat and vermillion blood when the flames licked at his skin, breaching the coarse flesh of his palms to rain hellfire upon all those who dared oppress him. he could weave lies with knots that would take years to unravel, and set whole cities ablaze with a mere finger. clawing oneself from a well built to drown them in their trauma does tend to leave scars on ones hands, and dabi's body was practically a canvas for mutilation, so he could consider himself an expert on the matter. he could attempt to make such a song by strapping in with his many hours of free time and diligent persona, but his hands were not made for music; neither delicate, sonorous tunes or dark, grating strains. they were made for war.
so if anyone had asks, "no" is his answer. "i don't play." and yes, it is while he's drumming a rhythmic beat that he claims this to be true, but the last thing he thinks about is donning a set of drums during his free time. he's far too distracted by the image of your taper fingers curled around the neck of your guitar to consider anything else.
the gentle but keen plucking of chords startles him from yet another ridiculously long-winded spiel by shigaraki, and dabi swallows a strangled groan behind his grinding teeth. it's in his head, now, and so far the only thing that has succeeded in reaping it from his memory—if only for a few minutes—is the blood stained battlefield that he's found himself fighting on far too many times this month alone.
what's he complaining about, though? it's not as though he minds getting down in the dirt. in fact, he's ecstatic to dig his claws into any gruesome ordeal so long as it benefits him in some way, so why is he so invested in this little to and fro game of twenty questions with the likes of you; someone as significant in the world as a paperclip without paper to hold? why come back, despite there being nothing in it for him besides a series of migraines?
not from you, a voice answers from inside. you're an absolute pleasure.
dabi nearly snarls at the confirmation that his own mind is turning against him, and as he does this, a plume of smoke erupts from his lips, billowing and curving to create intricate patters before dissipating into the atmosphere. a second time. a third. a fourth drag from the cigarette has completely obscured his face from anyone's view, and he relishes in the instant of privacy it gives him. however, it has also blocked him from seeing everyone else in the room, and while he normally would have considered that a blessing, it appears tomura has had enough of it.
you get headaches because you smoke too much, comes a second voice; yours, scolding in a way he'd only expect from a worried mother. dabi only has a split second to register it before shigaraki's head pokes through the fumes, red eyes alight with rage and lips pulled back into a snarl.
"would you quit doing that inside? it's fogging up my brain and i can't think straight." he grates.
"strange—i assumed there wasn't a brain in there to fog up in the first place." tomura's nostrils flare and dabi's pride spikes.
"besides, you came in here and looked directly at me as i was smoking—why didn't you ask me to stop then?"
"i was telling you with my eyes, idiot. you should know when it's time to either take it outside or put the damn thing out. there are ashtrays for a reason, and not everyone here wants to inhale that shit." he interrupts their intense staring contest only to wave his hand to clear the smog. now he can see the rest of the league clearly (oh joy, he thinks) and gives an indignant grunt when spotting toga at the bar table, covering her mouth and nose as a pitiful aim to block her lungs from the smoke. twice, who had unfortunately used up the last pack of his own cigarettes that morning, leans forward to take a whiff, exhaling soon after with satisfaction.
kurogiri stands at his usual spot behind the bar, seemingly unaffected as he idly scrubs away at grime infested glasses, while sako lounges at the opposite end of the room. his mask is on, leaving dabi to wonder if it's been like that all day, or if he just recently put it on to better fend off the fumes. he doesn't really care, whatever the case.
after a beat of silence, dabi wets his lips to respond, a lopsided smirk growing on his features.
"oh, i'm sorry your frail body hasn't adapted to a bit of vapor in the air. and with that flakey skin of yours, it's no wonder you're extra sensitive—"
shigaraki's hands come flying through the next waft to slam against the tabletop where dabi's feet lie, causing it to wobble and creak in protest. the ravenette doesn't even flinch as the harsh, raspy words are spat in his face.
"if you're not going to pay attention, then leave. actually, i'd prefer you do that either way."
and dabi would have happily disregarded his request if not for the faint ringing in his ears, rising higher and higher before receding back into his skull like the tide. a scowl morphs its way onto his once vacant expression as he puts pressure on his temple, rubbing softly where his eyebrows knit together. just for today, he'll indulge his so-called boss's whims. the piercing screech that emits from below when he pushes his chair back does nothing to help with the ever-growing headache, but it hardly matters now that he's headed out the exit. he's able to catch the last fragments of shigaraki's raving before the door closes, leaving him to stand amid the tumult of the city in all of its glory.
the alleyway is dark with looming shadows, but people are still milling about, so dabi considers himself lucky for already being dressed in his disguise. he flips his hood up, pulls the surgical mask over his nose and quickly slides on his sunglasses for good measure before slipping out into the traffic, sometimes going with the flow and then weaving past those moving too slow for his liking.
right now, his patience is a mere thread; hair thin and on the edge of snapping whenever someone bumps his shoulder. their negligence is infuriating, and he's tempted to roast them into a charred, mangled mess then and there—the consequences of blowing his cover be damned—but by some miracle, he manages to refrain from doing so. it takes about five minutes for his temper to shorten to the length of a matchstick, and he knows that one more shove will be what strikes it. dabi pauses for a moment to crane his neck, allowing the sea of people to flow around him like a stream to a rock as he searches for an alternative route. it appears as though he'll have to take his chances with the crowd until he hears the repetitive ringing of a bell and a man's voice calling for passengers to board. public transport was risky, what with him being a menace to society, but he can't possibly be the single most shady dressing person on the train, right?
he wouldn't bother answering his own question when daylight was burning, so dabi pushes himself from the swarm and leaps for the streetcar just as it begins pulling away from the stop. there's a shuddering jolt before the passengers settle in for their departure, and as his palms squeeze the metal railing in response, he notices the peeling red paint clinging to the car's exterior and finds himself staring at it for a ludicrous amount of time, not thinking about anything in particular.
the rickety trolley is semi-packed with civilians, none of whom regard his presence with anything more than a noncommittal glance. good—that makes his job ten times easier. to his chagrin, it runs over more than a few opposing train tracks or crudely paved bumps in the road, and this causes the whole cart to jostle before stilling completely, the process repeating itself over and over.
the knowledge that his trip to the outskirts of town is a short one is the only thing that calms his nerves.
when dabi finally arrives at his destination, the sun is gradually descending from its peak in the sky, and the clouds are more like wispy tufts than the luscious, cotton candy lumps they were just hours earlier. overhead, the baby blue hues turn to shades of opal; a forewarning of rain. the feelings of irritation and malice from earlier are still bound to him like chains that threaten to snap him in half when drawn too tight. the crippling weight causes his feet to drag along the gravel path at a sluggish pace, his own hot breaths fanning against his face from behind the mask. if anyone actually lived out here and they were to see him, their first impression would be that a living corpse had just waltzed onto their property. it was just his luck, then, that you were the only person out here, and by extent, the only one not deterred by his appearance.
even so, dabi's mind kicks into gear. was this a good idea? he doesn't even know why he came here—he just needed a place to blow off steam and his body had already made the choice on its own. this isn't any different from all the other times, though, and he can't ignore the fact when it sits in the pit of his stomach like an anchor. you're always the first person he goes to at times like these (dabi subconsciously rules out the man working at the local 7/11 who sells his liquor cheap, though he's still appreciative of the bottle to numb his thoughts). that tells him more than he wants to know.
your house is quaint, like those old country cottages he sometimes sees pictures of, and squats on a large, grassy mound of earth surrounded by heaps of rocks and sand from the neighboring beach. it merges with a towering lighthouse, and dabi notes that there must not be any sailors due to make port yet, otherwise the light would be on. the second thing he takes in are the flowerbeds sitting under your two front windows, and how they look withered and close to death.
"i wanted to add some color, but i can't keep plants alive for shit." you had said, huffing in amusement to yourself as you tended to the weeping alliums. "succulents are the only exception."
a small pot of them sits on the windowsill, but they seem to have gotten to big for it; the rubbery leaves spilling over the cracked rim. he hardly registers how much of a stalker he must look like until he stands on your welcome mat, peering through the dirty glass panes to find you nowhere in sight. the lights aren't on, so he can only see the outlines of furniture when bands of light stream in to reveal them.
sitting back on the balls of his feet, dabi curses under his breath. it's not like he was expecting anything. how was he supposed to know whether or not you were home when you had no way of telling him?
"jesus, patch!" a shout startles him from his brooding, but he doesn't let it show as he looks towards to ocean. you're hauling yourself over a large rock to wave him over, wearing a familiar grin. so that's why he couldn't see you. dabi makes careful work of leaping over jagged stones and threatening to bake any nosy seagulls as he makes his way to where you sit, with your favored instrument slung over your shoulder. the ghost of a smile graces his lips when he recalls how you would have scolded him for being mean to the birds, but that was before last week.
"pesky fucking bastards—they keep shitting on my music sheets!" another seagull waddles into your vicinity, only to squawk in distress as you shoo it away with your foot. "i wonder if this is natures way of telling me to quit while i'm behind. . ."
after breaching the treacherous terrain and nearly scraping himself in the process, dabi squats on the stone beside yours, looking up at you with hooded eyes. you meet his gaze with nothing short of merriment and a shake of your head.
"if someone had seen you, you would have been arrested on the spot for being a peeping tom." you chuckle, combing a hand through your hair with a smirk. "what? you lookin' you catch me in the nude or something?"
dabi scowls, choosing to ignore the question rather than give into the bait. as if i would be satisfied by looking at anyone but you in that state. he swats the air as if it would drive the notion from his mind like a bothersome fly.
"in the middle of fuck-ass nowhere? i'd never get caught."
"aw, don't be like that. if you really wanted a peek you could've just asked." the mocking tone in your voice spurs him to smack your thigh, which earns a hearty laugh in reply.
"ooh, don't treat me so roughly, or i might begin to like it!"
dabi has had more than enough experience with your flirtatious tendencies, and he feels he should have gotten used to it by now, but his heart still clenches every damn time. the worse part? he can't say that he minds. you don't give him a chance to respond, but dabi hasn't a clue what he would have said, so he lets you continue, watching intently as you rifle through your bag to fish out a guitar pick. shifting into a crisscross position, you perch the guitar on your lap and begin tuning the strings, idly talking about how uneventful the past days have been. dabi pretends not to have heard that it was because he wasn't there to visit, and instead gives his attention to the lighthouse in hopes that you won't see the faintest of reds dusting his ears.
five minutes pass before you actually start playing, and even then, it's only a few experimental notes here and there that help you build towards the perfected melody.
it's too sweet for his taste; dabi swears that's why his stomach turns so ferociously and prompts him to lean against the boulder to his right for some sort of stability. he won't even humor the idea that it's because of the way your lips twitch into a near half-smile before melding back into a concentrated frown the moment you strike a wrong cord. an embarrassed flush captures your cheeks as you study the music sheets, briefly pressing down on them when a sudden breeze flutters the pages. the pencil that was once tucked behind your ear now sticks out from one corner of your mouth, a flash of pink and orange melding together when you go to absentmindedly gnaw on the wood.
many more minutes fly by, and you've long since abandoned the new tune just to pick up an old one. dabi's back straightens at the first set of strings you pluck, and he recognizes them as the same ones that have been playing on repeat in his head since the day you met.
dabi's heart hammers in tune with every footfall that slaps against the pavement, tearing through the small pools of water that grow with every second. it hasn't stopped raining since the chase began, and there isn't an inch of him that hasn't been soaked through. still, something good must come from this little dilemma—the burning sensation that clings to his arms has almost settled down. the silhouettes of trees merge with inky blackness when he blinks, and he reaches with trembling hands to wipe the droplets of water clinging to his eyelashes.
a yellow square of what assumes to be light shines in the distance, contrasting wildly adverse to the darkness that sweeps him up from under his feet and pushes him forward. the sound of police sirens has been reduced to a mere memory in the time that was running, but he isn't about to risk going back to the league's base in fear of a stakeout waiting to get the jump on them. besides, why stop there when the possibility of shelter awaits him?
the bottoms of dabi's shoes are slick with mud, and blades of grass have snuck their way under the cuffs of his jeans to scratch at his skin. the sensations paired with the numbing cold are beyond uncomfortable, but he won't have to worry about that once he gets inside—that being if the person inside doesn't put up a fight.
he'd expect them to be mad if they did anything except that, no matter how welcoming the house looked. dabi's instincts tell him that someone out this far from the city doesn't a have a lot of connections, and thus killing them wouldn't cause an uprising if it were needed, but the minute he grips the doorknob, a thought occurs. if they have a quirk, its power could level my own or even surpass it. . . he grits his teeth. but like hell i'm going to let them win.
the hesitation vanishes in an instant as dabi turns the knob and thrusts himself inside, wielding a blue flame in his dominant hand to further illuminate the room. the wind is so fierce that it pulls the door shut for him, and the villain finds himself staring down the unperturbed figure of another man, perhaps around his age, hunched over a stove and glaring at a steaming kettle. they lock gazes, and almost immediately, the kettle gives a high pitched whistle. you look away first, lifting the pot and turning the burner off whilst opening the cupboard overhead to pull out two mugs, both of which adorn ugly christmas-themed patterns that dabi wishes he could forget ever seeing.
his glare hardens when you move to the table in the far corner and begin pouring what he assumes to be tea, taking one cup into your own grasp and leaving the other at his own disposal. your one mistake is grabbing your phone from the counter, but when dabi's flame enlarges, you hold your arms up in defense. then, before he can even formulate a proper threat, you toss the phone to him. he catches it easily and observes the dark screen, masking his astonishment with a more sinister expression.
the only other move you make is to drape yourself across a cushion on the window seat with an acoustic guitar in hand. you look more relaxed by the second despite being cornered by a dangerous criminal, and dabi has to refrain from voicing his shock when you address him with an almost bored tone.
"if the tea isn't to your taste, there's more in the cabinet. shower is down the hall to your left, and there's a spare bedroom upstairs to the right. do whatever the hell you want, just don't burn the place down or touch my freddie mercury records."
dabi is stuck to the spot for one of three reasons, he determines. one, your attitude has surprised him into a stupor that not even hiw own will can break. two, his refusal to believe that you're handling this situation in a calm manner is really just his defense mechanism kicking in, and he won't move until proven that you won't do anything when his back is turned. and three, you're quirk is similar to that of madusa's and you've successfully turned him into a fleshy mannequin.
"if you're worried about me calling the cops, what you're holding is the only working phone here. the power is out due to the storm, so my landline is dead, and the nearest form of help is a crippled old widow five miles west. i'm not going to risk running when i'm up against someone with a quirk."
dabi considers everything said, but never once allows his fire to dim. he took the surrounding area into account while making his escape, and he can see the landline is in fact out of service, so the male's assurances checked out. hell, the light source that guided him here was nothing but an old-timey oil lamp. the fact that you're quirkless does him a great amount of good as well.
with cautious steps, dabi makes a beeline for the bathroom, but he stops halfway to stare at you again. you respond by quirking a brow and kicking your feet up, something akin to mischief in your guise.
"i can take the shower with you since you're so afraid i'll make a break for it." you drawl, and dabi snarls, a fowl cuss bubbling in his throat as heat crawls its way up his neck.
"why, with a blush like that you might not need any drying off~."
dabi decides that he's had enough and storms down the hall, already peeling off his dripping clothes and and silently promising that he'll burn the guy to a crisp if he so much as tries to catch a peek. he can hear you calling out in hilarity even as he slinks into the shower and attempts to drown you out with the static-filled haze that captures his senses.
"the name's, y/n, by the way!"
try as he might, dabi had never been able to keep from coming back. now the reason why has been revealed to him on a silver platter, and he won't even spare it a glance.
your soft singing snaps him from his reminiscing as he stretches his legs, stifling a groan when something pops as not to disturb you. while digging through his pockets for a cigarette, he stops momentarily for fear of forgetting how to breathe when he lays his sights on you. you're in your own little world; everything else—him included— seems to have disappeared as you play from the heart. you need no standing ovation, no adoring fans or fantastic lightshows. you've said it once, that fame and glory mean nothing to you, and that you have all you could ever want or need right here, nestled in the beachside view of what you call home.
"and i have you." a cool breeze ruffles your dirt stained overalls as you reach up to wipe a bead of sweat from your forehead. the sun beats down on you, never shining half as bright as your smile, and the shore kisses the boulders with waxing and waning waves of aquamarine; frothy, foamy masses washing up with it to carry lone strands of seaweed. "otherwise i'd go mad without your company."
okay, that was lie. the truth is right there, practically spitting in his face how much of an idiot he is for trying to deny it, and dabi is glaring right back at it. he feels like an impatient kid on christmas eve, sneaking glimpses of gifts under the tree and feeling like he's committed a felony after getting caught. and you do catch him.
"penny for your thoughts, patch?" there it is—that stupid nickname. it's always been laced with mirth when you call him as such, but now it's replaced by genuine curiosity. and is that a hit of concern he hears? you study him with pursed lips and stony features that gradually morphs into that of concern when the silence stretches on. dabi forces himself to sneer at you, and something stirs inside his chest when you don't flinch.
he hates it. he hates you.
dabi nods to the sky, a guarded noise building in the back of his throat as he tugs on his earlobe.
"s'gonna rain." your jaw visibly clenches, but you humor his evasive habits just like you always have, looking to the clouds, which have darkened considerably in the last hour or so. it's around this time that the weather patterns become more unpredictable, but you've noticed the distinct lack of rainfall in spite of the gathering storm brewing overhead. you could sit out here for a while longer without much activity in the sky, and it would take more than a little shower to drive you inside, especially when you finally had the chance to enjoy some quality time with dabi. you notice the way his shoulders droop and the tension from his facial muscles all but disappears when he sits amidst the smell of fresh salt water and unpolluted air—the weight of his past slowly but surely ebbing away. you'd like to hope you have some part in that. oh god, do you ever hope.
you plead to whatever omnipresent being above that he's not just here to hit a blunt without getting reprimanded for it, or that he's making these daily visits out of pity.
"nah. it's been like this for a little while—looks like a storm will hit, but then it passes before it even begins." you sling the guitar back over your shoulder and gather up your music sheets, eyeing dabi from your perch. you're challenging him now, and normally you would never dare force him to speak if he didn't want to, but something about his aura is off. you can sense it in his words; the very air he breathes; and it compels you to hold him close, if only he would let you.
"so, you gonna tell me why you're avoiding the ques—" a deep rumble interrupts you, and dabi lets out a sigh of relief that you're thankfully too distracted to hear. a single drop of water hits your nose, followed by another, and another, and—
"you were saying?"
"oh shut it." you don't get to finish speaking, for a crack of lightning strikes the far end of the beach, scattering sand in every direction. you just barely manage to scoop up your belongings before sliding from the rock, but your footing betrays you and send you stumbling to the ground. dabi is there to catch you, wasting no more time in hauling you to your feet and rushing you as carefully as possible through the jagged maze. he can't refrain from smiling when you splutter a string of profanities pass poorly hidden laughter, an unmistakable "FUCK ME!" spilling into the cold evening when you accidentally stub your toe on a particularly sharp stone. it's pouring within seconds, and no sooner do you reach the doorstep do you both realize how sopping wet you are.
the last thing you think of is your chattering teeth, however, when you see dabi's spiky tufts of hair dripping with residue and his electric blue eyes gazing into yours. what you do think is that for the first time in your painfully ordinary life; your twenty three years of mediocrity and progressive isolation from the world around you; you have found the single person who understands your struggles and has chosen—for some unfathomable reason—not to abandon you. you wish you could say your parents were the same, but you also have scars from a distant childhood that brought you to this place.
this old lighthouse is your home, yes, but dabi is your sanctuary. he might as well be a god by how often you worship him from afar, wondering if ever you'd be so lucky; so eternally blessed; as to call him yours.
you don't register that he's opened the door to let you both inside until a cozy warmth envelopes you. no, wait, that's dabi's fire. it should terrify you that the same man who threatened you with those flames is now at arms length, but you trust him not to hurt you in any way, and so you lean into the gentle licking of heat on your skin, humming in content as your shivering comes to a halt.
dabi's fear of burning you diminishes when you flash him a grateful smile, a whisper of thanks echoing across the walls and pummeling his heart without resistance. he averts his eyes with a curt nod, a feeling like molasses weighing down his tongue and drowning the words he wants to say.
"you're welcome." is all he can muster.
half an hour later, your guitar is drying by the hearth and the two of you are huddled on the window seat, nursing cups of coffee and watching the storm in a comfortable silence. you haven't blinked in a while, meaning you've wandered off the tracks of consciousness as suspected, and pretty soon, you start singing quietly to yourself; the deep crooning used as background noise to your aimless meditation. dabi nudges your calf with his foot and is rewarded with a brief quirk of your lips and a nudge back. he doesn't have the patience nor the brain power to decipher how long this goes on for, but it doesn't matter.
this is fine. the image of red hair and a tall, intimidating figure invades his train of thought, and dabi curls inwards on himself. this is fine.
but it's not.
trembling, he places his mug on the table before retracting back into his seat, clasping his hands together. he tries visualizing the ties of his life coming together to form a rope. the fingers on his left—memories from his past—linking together with those from his right—memories made with you. his palms connect, bringing instant relief with the knowledge that he's here now, practically nestled between your legs, out of harms way. you're both fine.
dabi takes the swelling anxiety and pretends to crush it within his fist; clenching and unclenching it until his peace of mind returns.
"penny for your thoughts, patch?" you ask again, still in somewhat of a trance. this time, dabi answers.
"why do you call me that?"
you're caught of guard, half expecting him to ask why you haven't turned him in to the authorities. you've seen him without his disguise, you know his name, and for the past eight months you've been socializing with him like normal human beings do. that's more than both of you could have said in the past. of all the burning questions, he chose that one? "i've heard 'patchwork' and 'staples' and just about everything in between. why shorten it to patch?"
you gape at him, opening your mouth, then closing it, and so on. the pitter patter of rain against the window has ascended into relentless pelting. it sounds like gunfire to dabi; assaulting his ears in floods; but to you, it's nothing more than a waterfall hindering your view of the ocean. the deep breath you take seems to put more suspense in the atmosphere than needed, and it makes dabi's heartrate quicken for an entirely different reason, yet he makes no sign of stopping you.
"because my first thought whenever i see you is how much you remind me of a doll." oh. what?
you can tell by dabi's reaction that that wasn't what he was expecting, so you gesture for him to wait. he isn't sure he likes the forlorn expression you're wearing.
"typically, when kids first get a doll, they treat it like glass and make sure to tend to it with love. other times, doll owners are reckless and tear them apart just to stitch them back together like nothing happened. you use that camouflaged to blend in with the public, and i'm lucky enough to see what's under it. . .but sometimes i wish you'd keep the mask on so i don't have to see you upset."
upset? a fizzing sound erupts from his palms that he struggles to put out. he's not upset.
"don't try to hide it. you're always scowling when you think i'm not looking, or when you forget i'm even here, and i know it's because someone broke you without the intent of fixing you up."
once more, red clouds dabi's vision, and he moves to stand up.
"you had to clean up after their mistakes because no one else would, but instead of reusing the bits and pieces of your old self, you burned them. you destroyed any and all evidence of who you used to be and now you're patching yourself together with parts that aren't your own, because you don't want to hold onto what happened. though, something tells me you still haven't let go, otherwise you wouldn't be so angry."
"you don't know that!" he snaps, but he knows it's not true.
your hand closes around his wrist, and dabi recoils with such strength that it yanks you from your seat. dabi doesn't want you to let go, no matter how much he thrashes in place, because the sensation of your skin on his grounds him. somehow you know this, and you give a comforting squeeze to his pulse.
"but that's not all i see. because dolls are beautiful, and it's the ones who still love them after they're broken that they need the most. no one's told you they think you're beautiful, have they?"
dabi shakes his head, refusing to meet your gaze even when you cup his cheek with your free hand tilt it towards you. every touch is filled with hesitancy; feather light and more intimate than anything dabi has ever witnessed, let alone experienced personally. with the way you hold him like he's water in your hands, your eyes overflowing with a love he hasn't known in forever, dabi knows he won't find another feeling like it. you're not the embodiment of good—at least not by society's strict standards—but at least you can sit there and say you've committed a crime. you've never bloodied your hands by hurting others, much less gotten a thrill from doing so, and that's why he pulls away. he has to, because dabi is a harbinger of war, and if he holds you any closer it will only be to kill you.
he says something; a snarl mixed with a broken plea that he prays will make you stop; and you do. his silent victory doesn't last for long, though, because then you're using both hands to cradle his face and fuck, the pads of your thumbs grazing his scars feel like heaven. "won't you let me be the first?" how could he say no? how, when the taste of honey and whiskey is so addictive that he's already drooling into the kiss and willing to beg for more; when your mouth slots perfectly with his and dabi begins to wonder if he's stumbled right into the scene of a cliché wattpad story. the idea causes him to huff out a growl, and although neither of you can talk, he can imagine how strongly you must want to poke fun at him for the action. he can feel you smirking—the smug little bastard you are—and dabi ponders how long it will take to reduce that attitude of yours until you're submitting to him.
not yet. he chastises himself, completely unaware that you're currently thinking the same thing. dabi kneads the flesh of your hips through your jeans while you comb your fingers through his hair, gasping sharply between bruising, wet kisses and keening when he leans down to nurse your lips with soft pecks afterword. you're still trying to process the fact that you've coerced this devious criminal into making out with you in the pale glow of your seaside residence, but for the moment, you need not concern yourself with the details. you've forgotten all about dabi's ego and how this whole situation is no doubt feeding its flames. his grip on your waist is making you too delirious to care.
"fuck." dabi's breath is staggering when you finally pull back, an aura of clarity and desire hanging between the two of you.
"y-yeah. . .that was. . ." you can't produce a word, or even a paragraph to describe it. you know you're going to hit yourself later for admitting such a banal phrase in the midst of what could be classified as your very first kiss, but that is neither here nor there, and you would rather suffer an agonizing death than let dabi find out that he stole your first. you're too preoccupied envisioning all the other firsts to come, so you don't notice the way he stares at you like some precious jewel, but his fingertips brushing your bottom lip succeed in snapping you out of it.
"hm?"
dabi goes quiet, contemplating what to say as the thunder moves abroad and the rain comes to an end, leaving the house in a numbing state of tranquility.
"why not call me doll, then? it'd be easier."
you chuckle in response, playing with the hairs at the base of dabi's neck and making sure not to miss the way he melts into the affection. "i thought that'd be moving too fast." and dabi; still drugged from your kiss and what he can only hope is love; rasps out a genuine laugh, cupping your jaw with a tenderness that makes your knees weak.
"you offered to take a shower with me the night we met, and you think a nickname is moving too fast?"
you stick your tongue out at him, and dabi resists the urge to grab it, even if it's just a bluff.
"would you have let me call you that anyways?" you ask, something hopeful ridden in your tone. dabi feigns consideration as he looks to the ceiling, snickering when you smack his chest. eventually, he murmurs what you audibly hear as "brat" before resting his forehead on yours, an impish glint in his gaze.
"no."
you turn your chin up at him, giggling when he nips at the skin. dabi knows just as well that your attempts at escaping him are halfhearted, so he encircles his arms around your waist tighter, delighting in the flush that paints your cheeks.
"then i think i'll settle for my love, or darling, if that's alright with you."
dabi can't fend off the blush for his life, but he's not afraid if you acknowledge it. he can get you back easily, and he plans to. "fine by me, doll."
151 notes · View notes
sanghyukstattoos · 3 years
Text
SF9's reaction: first time over at theirs, accidentally leak
Warnings: mentions of blood, medicine (tablets)
A/N: None of the images in the collage are mine, refer to here for more; For more SF9, read here, for iKON, read here and for optional bias writings, read here
Safe and happy reading everyone!
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Youngbin:
Partly anxious, partly thinks he knows what to do
He has a vague idea of what he should do, it presents itself to his decisions in the form of a solution but he isn't sure, is it what he is supposed to do? Suppose you have been asleep when he found out about your period, he will softly climb back into bed and wake you up. He'll hold you as and when you wake up and he finds it important to cuddle you all day long, even when he suggests that you watch something to distract yourself. He'll try to engage you in doing something like cooking as well but when he see that it doesn't work, he'll tell you that it's okay and pull you to the sofa where the two of you will spend the time either watching the tv or not but in each other's arms. You may go on a walk because he insists on getting fresh air and it's reliving, to feel the wind breeze through your hair, away from the growing stuffiness of staying indoors all day long.
Inseong:
''Oh, she must be in pain, what do I do?''
He may wake up because of your whimpers and heated body (you feel warm to the touch, much more than usual) so he wakes you up, giving you a detailed report of the blood stains and your probably high body temperature. He's freaking out which is cute before you sigh. The previous evening you felt your pms but when would it actually come? That was your question. Nevertheless, he leaves you to freshen up and takes the sheets for cleaning. He has some tricks up his sleeve; he knows that to do. When you come out, maybe hug him from the pain, his heart will squeeze like a towel filled with water, he'll press kisses on your face and give you gently words of support, ''You're doing so well. You want to lay down? I'll lay down with you, come.'' as he tugs you along. If you feel more active, he'll try his best to cook, as in, he'll give in his ultimate best. Extra effort so that you can eat food at home rather than from outside, it will taste good in the end because he would have followed the recipe and it's measurements to the t. Shining eyes should be following your movements when you taste his food, anxiously waiting for your response. Should you feed him, he'll melt, like a marshmallow. He loves you that much.
Jaeyoon:
Jaeyoon's a sweet heart
He'll ask you, ''Are you cramping?''. His voice is soft, almost down to a whisper. It draws you closer to him. You nod, pout whilst holding your lower tummy. You feel uncomfortable standing because of the pain, he knows it and draws you into his arms, holding you steady on your feet. He gives you little kisses on the cheek, teasing out giggles from you. He'll cook for you, maybe pancakes or avocado with fried eggs on toasted bread, whatever you want + as long as he is capable of making it, he may even surprise you! When you are eating, he'll give you company, his chin will rest in the palms of his hand and he'll give you this look where his eyes shine and the pads of his fingers drum on his cheek. He'll melt if you feed him, into a puddle his true form has been summoned. He'll make you smile, partly because of his cheeky jokes but also partly because of his own smile, lit cheeks that resemble a baking bun. He'll tell you not to apologise for the stained sheets, kissing your concern away. He'll join heads with you and figure out to do with it. The rest of the day, he'll spend it with you by taking you into his arms. Be prepared, fluff! passionate-driven! domestic husband! Jaeyoon is out to cuddle you!
Dawon I Lee Sanghyuk:
🥺🥺
He may wake up to your groans of pain, too disorientated at first to comprehend that you may be pms-ing so he'll go back to sleep. When he wakes up later on, the first thing he may say is, ''Shit.'', biting his lip but not yet thinking of a solution. He'll first check up on you, to see if you are still asleep or not. If you are, he'll let you you be and sit back with his mouth agape, wondering how this could happen. This may go on for some moments. He doesn't have even half the heart to wake up but if he has to, he will. When you curl up into a foetal ball, his heart will break. After you refresh, he'll rush to sort out a hot bag for you and maybe some tea and cuddle with you on the sofa till you begin to feel hungry (he may wait for when you are ready to make breakfast!). It's because he loves eating and so he'll love to see his significant other too. He knows that you enjoy what you are eating and that makes him happy, so he'll wait!
Rowoon I Kim Seokwoo:
Luxurious level Rowoon 💸💸💸
You may already be up when he wakes up. ''Oh!?!?'' is his voice when he looks at the lil' crime scene you left. You didn't stress about it okay maybe a little but decided to deal with it when he woke up. O-O is his facial expression. He can't believe his eyes. He's scared, he may never be able to un-see it again, ever. To bad for him, slightly better for you. You are already refreshed and not feeling to great, drained even before the day has begun but he's not asking anything, only how you are feeling. You settle in the seat beside him, pressing a kiss to his cheek, he greets you with a kiss back, discussing about your plans for the day. ''About the sheets'', ''It's okay'' he says, noticing your apologetic face, ''We'll throw them out'', ''Okay~ they are your sheets'' you laugh. Otherwise, if he wants to make love to you, your period may briefly hinder his thoughts but not by much, especially if you agree. He undress you in the shower and kiss you all over, to relieve the soreness of your body and fill you up. He would be okay to cock warm, to sit there with you on his lap and talk to you, giggle and laugh with you, occasionally cutting you off by giving you love-bites and sucking your nipples, nipping the area around them, if you find yourself comfortable with cock warming.
Zuho I Baek Juho:
Home-man Ju, never-leaving-his-cats Ju
But for you, it'll happen. You may have not brought pads or tampons with you because your schedule is hay-wire. If no and you have some then problem solved but if not, he'll leave you with a hot bag and run to the nearest store to buy you some pads. He'll hurry, knowing that you are in pain so he'll even say to his cats before he goes, ''Be good and take care of y/n for me okay?''. You have half a mind to chuckle at this adorable behaviour. In his pyjamas and slippers, he'll walk out, coming back with pads/tampons and food! Food! What's not there to love about this man? He'll bring your favourite snacks, putting them on a plate while you freshen up. If you borrow his clothes, you'll take his breath away. He'll put something on to watch or go out, like an amusement park or food stalls or wherever you would love to go. He wants you to feel better.
Yoo Taeyang:
Shocked or master level response
The first would be more appropriate for this man no? But I can't also help but think that he would see you in pain and move quickly. Without thinking of a plan or immediate solution, he would try to use what he has, a resourceful character is my point. He may rummage through the kitchen and medicine cabinets, standing there for two to three minutes, pondering over what he could use. He is quick to find a heat bag and warm it up, perhaps a wet towel that he thinks he will come back to and tablets for your pain. No doubt that his once blurry eyes and tired mind have disappeared to the back, your peacefulness of mind and sleep becomes his first priority. He takes you to the toilet and while you hazily strip off your clothes, he warms up the water and fills the tub with it. While you soak, cleaning yourself up, he lets you be, giving you the space you need to take a while and gather your peace of mind. There's a lot he would do for you. In the morning, he would cook for you and take you out. Later in the afternoon, you'll fall asleep together and in the evening, if you both are in the mood, he'll be willing to try and ease your cramps with releases. He's someone to be grateful for.
Hwiyoung I Kim Youngkyun:
Shy, to the bone
You knock on his door, ''Kyun?'', ''hm? You okay?'', he is curious. ''Yea, I'm going to the store and coming back.'', ''It's pitch black outside, I'll come with you.'', ''okay'', it's dangerous outside, anyone could be there. Just left the complex, he asks, ''What do you need?'', ''Tampons'', ''oh.'', he's flustered now. The tips of his ears turn pink and his cheeks- he can't resist them from going upwards. After scratching the tip of his ear, he asks, ''Does it hurt?'', ''hm, I can feel it, it's hurts a little but later it may hurt a lot.'', ''As in, unbearably?'', ''Yea and I think that I may have already leaked.''. ''Shit'' he murmurs, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, ''If you want, you could go home and I could get them?'', he asks, in all seriousness. He doesn't contemplate that he's never done this before but he could, for you. ''It's okay, I think I can make it. Plus, you won't know what to get.'', ''Call me, ''Are you sure about this?'', ''Absolutely, I'll drop you off and then I'll pick them up, do you want something to eat?''. The endeavours make you smile, now you are at the front of his house, ''Anything is okay with me.'' to which he chuckles. He knows what you want, ''So some snacks?'', in a teasing manner. He moves closer to you. It's a pause from the outside world, cupping your face entirely in his hands, he kisses your cheek. You softly gasp, slipping into his grasp when he lets go. You could smell his shampoo and the way he lingered, he's already telling you, ''Go up, I'll come to you.'' having you shake you head and tell him, ''thank you.''. As he begins to walk, he resists turning back and pulling you into a kiss driven by heat-blinding passion.
I guarantee that the kiss doesn't happen for sometime but when it does, you end up making soft love under the covers. He starts with mapping out kisses along your body + he loves how you touch him when he kisses you.
Chani:
Loving and admirable
When he sees you in pain, he hurts too, expressed as a pout or frown, tugging your hand and asking if you are okay. He wants to make your pain go away. He may be doing some work on his laptop, he'll hold you in his arms with your head on his chest and you softly snoring away. It'll make him smile, after all you were woken up so early in the morning by your cramps, waking him up to a few hours later to find that you made breakfast. It depends on who wakes up, one or the other makes breakfast after a long competition of seeing who can sleep the longest. He feels grateful and he tells you that, before saying that you shouldn't have when you felt this much pain and that he was okay with eating outside food. You have to smile and place a finger to his mouth to prevent his nagging from chewing your ears off and give him a little kiss and then immediately pull him for cuddles. Complain about how you are in pain and he will melt like a lolly on a hot summer day and instantly cuddle you, hovering over your figure that he placed on the sofa and tease you, maybe by feeling your waist to your neck to a small make-out session. It'll be automatic for him to compliment you and shower you with love, easily embracing you and kissing you to tell you that he loves you.
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all-about-seggs · 4 years
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Ardent Affections :
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Pairing : Timeskip + Virgin! Sakusa Kiyoomi x Female reader
Rating : 18+, Explicit
Word count : 3k
Warnings : Smut and fluff (and holy shit I ended up including a bit of angst) , Loss of virginity, blow job, fingering, vaginal sex, established relationships.
A/n: I prefer dirtier side of Smuts but this was as far as I could go with Saku sooooo I hope my fluffy smut isn't cringey >.<.
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Putting the plum filled onigiri in the clean plastic container, you give it another look over to make sure it's tidy enough, afterall, the person you made this for was nothing if not picky. But, you also knew he loved umeboshi, so after a few successful weeks of your relationship with Sakusa, you went ahead and bought more than enough dried plums to practice making something he won't be able to refuse. It didn't take long to reach the gym he was practicing at, with lunch time approaching, he'd be on his break too, giving you the perfect chance to have some alone time.
One would think, that no boyfriend would refuse their significant other's cooking but falling in love with him as well as dating him made you realise it wasn't the status quo. He was, at the very least, peculiar. Always on his own, Sakusa never felt the need to be involved with a lot of people, ironical as it may be for someone who played a team sport, his idiosyncrasies made it hard for most people to get close to him. That's why the sight of a cluster of high shool girls flocking your boyfriend, to give him their handmade goods was comical yet unsettling.
It wasn't something you got jealous at, but it's something that made you second guess yourself instead, whenever the thought of making him something pooped in your head, this same scene played infront of your eyes. Sakusa surrounded by a bunch of girls with heart eyes, wanting to give him stuff. On the verge of losing his polite demeanor, Sakusa almost gave them a taste of his blunt indifference if it weren't for some faculty member intervening. Today was the same.
With the perfect excuse, he pulled himself away from the group and sauntered towards you, eye twitching with a look that screamed ' I saw you having fun on my expense'. You quickly pulled yourself out of the gloomy thoughts and greeted him with your regular smile.
" I didn't wanted to disturb your fan meet", the cheeky tone in your voice added to his annoyance.
" I assure you that you didn't, besides you know I don't like hand made stuff ", he grumbled, voice carrying the regular icky note you were used to but it caused the dull ache in your heart grew. Before you could answer, you saw Bokuto running towards your direction, making you jump with his boisterous greeting,
" HEY! Y/n chan!... Are you gonna join us for lunch as well ?", The look in his face was as cute as his voice which was cutoff by Sakusa's cold one,
" No. I don't like the places you go to eat. Also, I'm done for today so we have no reason to stay.", Curt and to the point, Sakusa answered him and gestured you with his eyes to follow him instead.
" Geez, it's like he can never let loose!, Y/n chan! You should ask him to open up more!", pouting, the energetic male glared at Sakusa's retreating form.
"Ummm, Sorry Bokuto! He still doesn't know how to..... People? I guess? But he's trying! I know he is! So don't worry... We'll catch up with you guys sometime else okay?", With a slight bow, you trailed after your boyfriend, leaving a deflated Bokuto behind.
As you walked behind him, you thought about the first time the both of you met, he didn't even looked at you properly before leaving just like he was right now, about how you had to put your feelings out in the open first so that he'd finally notice them, how, for the last few days your garbage can only had dozens of messed up onigiri, and how the lunch you packed was getting colder by the minute as it layed still in your bag.
You were lost in thought for the rest of the way, he wasn't one to talk much but your constant silence was not something that often happened. Still not being used to initiating small talks, all he could do was gaze at the dazed look on your face.
The two of you made your way back to his apartment that the sports facility provided the players. You had been here a couple of times before but never long enough to actually call it 'staying over'.
" Why are we at your place?", You quietly ask, making him pause before speaking.
" I did say I was done with practice for the day", opening the front door he ushered you in. It was unsurprisingly neat, the entrance not having any useless items, infact everything in his place had a purpose or use.
It was a big step, him letting anyone in his personal space, considering his high maintenance personality you thought he'd dip you in a bucket of sanitizer everyday but he was a lot more chill when you both take your respective baths. He still goes in first.
The moment you stepped outside the bathroom, you saw a nervous looking Sakusa was sitting on the edge of his bed.
" Did you really wanted to have lunch with those guys?", His abrupt question caught you off guard, so apparently he took your silencein the wrong way, but it still warmed your heart to know he noticed and cared enough to talk about it, albeit clumsily.
" Is that why you think I was quite on our way here?", The reply you gave made him avert his eyes, whether it was out of embarrassment or the awkwardness in the room, it didn't change the fact that your sudden change in behaviour was noted by your boyfriend.
" If you have something to say, then I want you to tell me, I'm afraid I won't know otherwise", Sakusa added, finally looking at you with his deadpan yet sharp look.
He was right, every couple needs to have proper communication in order for their relationship to succeed, so with that in mind you decided to tell him about what's bothering you.
Walking over to his side, you sat next to him,
" I made you lunch today, but when I saw you rejecting your fans gifts saying you don't like handmade stuff, it- bothered me.", Your reasoning might've been a little selfish, it's not like you wanted to force anything on him just because you were his girlfriend but the fear of getting rejected always made you hold back on so many things.
" So I didn't give it to you, and then I just started having a trail of depressing thoughts about how maybe I'm the only one who wants anything from this relationship, I mean we haven't even done anything more than kissing Kiyoomi.", To you, this confession was nothing more than the frustrations you've built up. He was silently listening as you went on, not interrupting until you were done.
" I see....", His soft baritone was laced I'm regret as he brought his hands to you head, gently combing the strands, " I'm sorry, I made you feel that way, it's obvious that both of us need to work on our communication skills but there is one thing you got wrong", saying that, his hand combing you hair pushed you forward until you were right in front of his glossy lips,
" It should go without saying that I wouldn't let you in here if I didn't loved you, and you wouldn't be in this bed either if I didn't wanted you.", By the end of his sentence, his hot mouth covered your in a demonically passionate kiss which was all teeth and tongue. It was probably your longest kiss as well, making you grip his shoulders so hard it would've probably left marks if it weren't for his taut musculature. You pressed you hands on his sculpted chest, feeling his nipples harden as you slowly run you thumbs over them. Sakusa pulled away from you to catch a few breaths, his lips shining with your mixed saliva.
" I've never done this before......", hesitation crossed his eyes which soon melted into a look of determination as he brought his face near yours.
"But if it's with you, I know I'll like it", he panted, pulling you on his lap to continue his ministrations from a more closer proximity. The uncharacteristically deep kiss encouraged your hands to roam around more, to feel all of his ripped form through the fabric of his thin shirt. Your hand grazed his crotch, this contact alone was enough to make him twitch, his virginity showing, the blush on his cheeks spreaded all the way to his neck.
The front of his shorts looked so strained,It was painfully clear how much his cock was begging for attention, so you pushed Sakusa back until he was lying flat on the bed, feet still on the floor. Searching his eyes for any objections, you pulled his waistband down to reveal his bulging member. It suited a big guy like him, his thick cock felt so hot and heavy in you hand it took everything in you to stop yourself from jumping on it right away.
" Hggg... Wait... It's-", his voiced carried more embarrassment than discomfort but you stopped nonetheless.
" Dirty?.....is that what you want to say?", questioningly, you looked at him from between his legs as he nodded.
" Well sex is better dirty but, I'll try not to make a mess okay?", With a wink you grabbed his shaft with one hand and took his tip in your mouth. The warm, wet insides of your mouth touching the sensitive head of his cock made him shudder in pleasure but he didn't make more than a hum. Maybe your boyfriend was still embarrassed but now that you finally get to go down on him, you made it a personal goal to hear his moans.
Detemined to hear his beautiful whimpers, you added pressure on his member through your tongue as you moved your lips up and down, swallowing him as much as you could. Droll dripping from the side of your mouth and his precum gave you enough lubrication to increase you pace, going harder and harder until you felt your teeth make contact with his sensitive shaft, that must've hurt, you thought but atleast it got a reaction out of him.
" AH-.....mmmhh Y/n damnit.....you're doing it too roughly", you heard him complain from above you,
" I just rough housed you a little..... Anyway, you can't blame a girl who's been abstaining herself from fucking her hot boyfriend ", with a pop you pulled him out of your mouth and looked up at the wide eyed Sakusa with an uncharacteristic boldness that even surprised you. Maybe it was because of the situation or because you two had a heart to heart conversation about your feelings just now but you felt oddly comfortable with him more than you ever did before. You knew he loved you enough to put up with anything you'd throw at him at his point, so why not push your luck?
"......well aren't you a vulgar little girl", regaining his composure, Sakusa propped himself on his elbows to give you his trademark deadpan look. You squeeze his balls teasingly in an attempt to rile him up further, his face contorts a little before he shoots you a glare.
" I'm going to make you regret that", with nothing more than a growl he grabbed your hand to make lie face down beside him, for a second you thought he'd spank you, but the moment you raised you head from the mattress to see what's going on, a big hand was on your head pushing your face down again, his other hand ghosting over the hem of your t-shirt.
" It's my turn now, so you better behave", emphasizing the behave he first pulled your shirt off of your shoulders, then swiftly getting rid of your pants. This was an interesting turn of event, just a moment ago your virgin boyfriend was squirming like a pathetic little boy but with just a little teasing made him switch into daddy mode, you'd be lying if you said it wasn't thrilling.
You laid there stark naked as you heard a few rustling sounds coming from behind, indicating Sakusa taking his cloths off. His long, deft fingers grabbed your hips, raising them a slightly off the surface of the mattress, the digits of his right hand crept near your dripping core as if wondering if he should touch you or not, you moved your hips closer so you could feel his touch but he retreated his hand, only to pinch one of your butt cheek. The tease.
" If you're expecting me to eat you out too then keep dreaming..... but since I made you wait so long, I'll give you something else today", his matter of fact tone was even as he traced two long fingers up your slit taking in all of your juices, he pushed them inside your aching pussy. His thick digits rubbing your walls made you moan in the pillow, with his thumb he started rubbing your engorged clit. His actions were not exactly gentle but you didn't wanted them to be either, you wanted him to pound you into the mattress so bad but maybe it was asking too much from someone inexperienced.
" You like this right?", It wasn't exactly a question, as his increased his speed, with his free hand he pinched your ass again leaving small red marks in the fleshy patch of skin. Your first orgasm in so many weeks approached you with an intense force, making you buck you hips in Sakusa's hand. Just as your pussy started clenching around the fingers that was inside it, he withdrew his hand leaving you with a strange sense of emptiness.
" Not so fast y/n, it's more efficient it we cum together, besides I know you want more than just my fingers", his voice carrying the cockiness of someone far more experienced but you can't complain, for both his actions and words were easily bringing you closer to the edge. Ignoring the stickiness of his fingers he lightly massaged your butt cheeks before kneeling right behind them. The sight of your flushed, naked body was enough to get him going, something that he dare not admit.
From the corner of your eye, you saw him opening his bedside drawer to retrieve a condom. Well, atleast one of you were prepared for this, just as he finished putting on the thin protection, he asked you,
" I'm putting it in y/n", he didn't make it sound like a question but it wasn't until you nodded in approval, that he moved. Groaning lightly, Sakusa entered you inch by inch, making the process as slow as possible so could clearly feel the delicious stretch his thick cock provided. You were already panting by the time he bottomed out in you, as he started moving his hips you rolled yours to match his pace, creating a steady rhythm.
Both your pants and body were in sync, building up pleasure that soon reached its peak, the roll of your hips and the sound of his name from your mouth urged him to take a hold of your hips and drive his pulsating member further into your cunt. He felt your walls clenching around him when your body experienced the well awaited orgasm, quivering beneath him like. The sudden pressure added on to his cock made your boyfriend follow right after. The both of you were still riding your high when he lowered his torso on to your back, sweat slicked bodies on top of each other, you wondered what kind of face he would be making right about now. Hoping it wasn't one of disgust, you turned your face to the side, his endearing curls tickling your ears as he kept his nose buried in the nape of your neck.
There was a serene quality to the room where the two of you laid still until Sakusa got up abruptly, you knew that it was bath time even before he uttered anything.
" Let's eat", his soft voice seemed almost like a whisper which was confusing and astonishing at the same time when he tossed one towel to you and quickly wiped himself with the other.
Making quick work of the cleaning, you both went to the living room where you pulled out the bento box from your bag. It felt cold against your hand but this time it didn't make you sad because now you were sure that the person next to you wouldn't reject it.
Opening the box, you noticed they got a little crushed, probably because of you tossing your bag aside dejectedly when you first arrived, the previously well made onigiri lost their original shape but you hoped they tasted the same.
Gingerly showing him the box you thought about quickly explaining it's condition and telling him about how you made it in the most hygienic way possible for a human but the words died in your mouth when Sakusa briskly took one piece out and munched on the distorted rice ball. You watched him chew, waiting became too nerve-racking so you blurted, " How is it Kiyoomi?!", Talk about putting pressure on a guy but it didn't deter him from telling you the truth.
" It's good", the simple reply he gave was the best, you thought, his words were never grandiose, just to the point that's what made you believe them everytime he decides to be honest with you.
"Next time...", He mumbled in between his increasing breaths and tinted cheeks,"Lets make it together".
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planned-planethood · 3 years
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A list of things to be excited about in space exploration
In space science and exploration, things tend to move slowly. That is, until they don't. It is easy to lose perspective on exactly what is possible when the right people are providing the right support for exploration initiatives.
With significant advances in rocket technology, ambitious programs from one administration being continued by the next (THANK YOU, finally!) and funding for NASA at an all time high there are some exciting things coming up not just in our lifetimes, but possibly in the next few years for some of these. Here is a list of things that could actually happen which will make your imagination go wild:
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- The Artemis program: the Artemis program was started in 2017. For years there has been intense debate about whether or not we should be returning to the Moon or sending astronauts to Mars. This debate, it seems, has finally ended. When President Biden determined to continue to support the previous administration's goals to return Americans to the Moon, all remaining opposition evaporated as the space-science community wants to simply conduct human exploration missions again regardless of the destination. Now, with essentially unified support and bipartisan political capital, the Artemis program looks extremely likely to survive.
It's more than just a return to the Moon though. We will be building a new space station called the Lunar Gateway. Gateway will orbit around the Moon and provide NASA with a way station from which SpaceX rocket ships will ferry astronauts to the Lunar surface. At this point, what happens next becomes a little more nebulous. NASA is currently researching the feasibility of founding a permanent colony on the Moon on the South Pole (I also have some things to say about this landing site in the future that I can't talk about right now, but resources could be slightly more plentiful than is known currently).
The target year for human feet to stand on the Moon again is no farther than the year 2024. This timeline can and probably will slip, but it's currently unlikely to slip significantly. Before the year 2030, we're highly likely to be inhabiting the Moon again, this time, with no intention of leaving. The Artemis program will aim to develop a lunar economy as a way of incentivizing both more public and private investing in lunar exploration.
One thing that I'm personally happy about is that with with rockets finally becoming cheaper to use, and spacecraft working autonomously now most of the time, it is predicted that the number of astronauts required to be experimental aircraft pilots from the military will probably go down. Let's send some more geologists to the Moon!
Oh and by the way, since I mentioned way stations earlier...
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- Astronauts on Mars: This has been the holy grail-goal of space exploration since humanity has realized Mars was another planet. NASA's Artemis program is designed to not simply be a lunar program. The goal isn't just to create a lunar economy: the goal of the Artemis program is to create a sustainable lunar presence so that the Moon can be used as a way station for much deeper space exploration. The idea is that with easier access to the lunar surface, NASA will be able to rapidly run tests and develop technologies that we would need to embark on what could be the most treacherous and epic human exploration adventure in history. It would also be fantastic logistical support to a potential permanent or semi-permanent colony on Mars.
... and NASA may not even get there first.
SpaceX, eager to showcase their own Starship, is currently planning a human mission to Mars in 2026. Humans have never trod on another planet before. This event, whether done by SpaceX, NASA, or any other entity, would be one of the greatest accomplishments in human history. It would hopefully mark the dawning of a new era in human civilization, for the betterment of us all.
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- Venus: It's been decades since NASA has sent a mission to Venus. The number of Venus experts has gradually dwindled, and now we are in danger of all of them retiring out of planetary science before their knowledge can actually be passed on. Thankfully, NASA just announced two separate missions to Venus to investigate basically everything you can possibly imagine. DAVINCI+ will send a lander to the surface and VERITAS will orbit the planet and map the surface in high resolution for the first time. We don't really know what sort of surprises this incredible world holds in store for us. It may be that we find a planet full of active volcanism, and evidence that long ago it was habitable for life as we know it.
Astrobiologists have recently begun paying even closer attention to this planet as there have been some interesting signs that, and I say this cautiously, Venus may have biosignatures. Ultimately, it's an entire planet, our neighbor, and we are going to see incredible images, and learn so much about planets, how they form, evolve, and improve our understanding of how easily a terrestrial world can become habitable. Both missions launch this decade.
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- The Search for Life: There's been a veritable revolution in exoplanet hunting over the last decade. Missions like Kepler have provided us with mind-boggling amounts of data to go through, much of which has led to the discovery of so-called exoplanets, planets in other star systems. Right now we are closing in on approximately 5000 confirmed exoplanets.
It's almost impossible to mention exoplanets without immediately breaking into the subject of habitable zones. The fact of the matter is that we're well into the numbers game that one day, will turn up something stunning that will change humanity forever. In my opinion, it's a matter of time. With the rate of exoplanet detections growing rapidly, it seems like a matter of rapidly shrinking time before we come across a truth that, if it is out there, will reveal itself.
Scientists are currently studying a relativistic telescope concept which would make use of the light-bending properties of relativity, combined with the mass of the Sun, to warp light in such a way that it magnifies the image of whatever is in the warped light. Such a telescope could reveal surface details of an exoplanet: if there are oceans, we would be able to resolve them. Same to mountain ranges. City lights.
Whatever the truth is, it may be difficult to hide from the astronomers of Earth for much longer as our sight has officially pierced the interstellar veil and active searches for signs of life outside the Solar System have absolutely begun.
Breakthrough Starshot is a mission concept that would actually send a small spacecraft to our nearest stellar neighbor, Proxima Centauri. Around this star is an exoplanet: Proxima Centauri b. What would a flyby mission see on this mystery planet? Right now, we have no idea. Proxima Centauri b orbits in its star's habitable zone. Unfortunately, if this mission ultimately makes it off the ground, it would take in the range of 30 years to reach its destination and send its photographs back. Fortunately, that's within most of our naturally remaining lifetimes. I think it's worth the wait.
We won't be waiting idly however. Right here in our very Solar System, we are closing in on a number of ways in which the idea of a habitable zone can be played around with. Icy moons around places like Jupiter and Saturn have seriously reopened questions of where life-as-we-know-it could live. Queue the discovery of the ecosystems living around hydrothermal vents at the bottom of the lightless oceans of Earth. Diverse communities of never-before-seen creatures were living entirely without sunlight being involved at any point in their ecosystem.
Scientists now believe hydrothermal vents exist on moons like Europa and Enceladus, inside liquid water oceans, hidden under the ice. In a few years, NASA is launching a mission to fly around Europa. Perhaps it well get a chance to fly through one of the erupting geysers and take a look around. A mission to land on the surface is being designed as we speak to be proposed to NASA.
Never in human history, written and unwritten, have we realistically had to contend with the idea of knowing the Truth (as Mulder puts it). Well, contend away folks. We might not be wondering for a whole lot longer. Things might move slowly, until they don't.
Space exploration has never been boring, but we are without a doubt entering a golden age for space science and exploration.
(Image credit: Steve Jurvetson~NASA~NASA/JPL-Caltech~ESO/M. Kornmesser respectively)
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gayaristocrat · 3 years
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I Got Everything I wanted...
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Episode 1: Filmed Before a Live Studio Audience...
Pairing: Vision x Male Reader
Taglist: N/A
‼️Authors Note‼️: I'm finally at a point where I can write this story. I know that It is long overdue, so I hope this can make up for it. This story is going to be breaking the 4th wall a lot since they tend to do that in the actual show. Also, please let me know in my Inbox/Askbox if you would like to be tagged every time I upload a story to this series. While reading this, you may realize that it seems rushed, and that's because it was. I wanted to put this out as soon as I possibly could. Also since you guys voted that I just divide it up into parts for you to read. I will be uploading part 2 whenever I am able to.
Summary: (Male Name) and Vision struggle to conceal their powers during dinner with Vision's boss and his wife
Time Period: 1956 (So everything in this chapter is going to be colorless and in black and white)
Word count: 4k+
Word Key:
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Have you ever dreamed of living the life you always wanted? Have you ever dreamed of something so bad to the point where you would do anything to get it. Have you ever dreamed of something so bad to the point where all of your care for others went out the window? Have you ever dreamed of wanting something so bad to the point where you would stop anyone who gets in your way.
"(Male Name), I love you so much. Please don't do this, cant you see that everyone is hurting, that everyone is in so much pain?"
"I'm sorry Vision, but I can't. I can't loose you...not again. I never meant for things to be this way, but now I can't go back. Not without you"
---REWIND MANY EPISODES BACK---
For a second, everything is black. The TV clicks on and a burst of grey static illuminates the screen. Everything is black and white, not a single drop of color is in the area. A happily little tune starts playing as a colorless 1956 Buick Special drives up a tiny hill and back down past a sign which says 'Speed Limit 35'. The camera angle changes to the back of the car, showing a banner above the license plate, 'Just Married'. Next, the camera cuts to us, (Male Name) and Vision, newlywed husbands.
It finally happened, we finally got married! Both of us turn take a quick look and smile at each other with nothing but love and glee, it seemed like nothing could go wrong in this moment.
🎵Oh~
A newlywed couple just moved into town,
A regular husband and husband,🎵
Vision turns his head back to the road and continues driving until we turn down a happy little neighborhood. Each house on the street has a pattern of different color greys with black roofs, their yards decorated with equally bland colorless flowers and grass. Children playing outside, and adults chatting with one another while they tend to their gardens, or while walking their dogs. Everyone is just so cheery and happy, even the mailman waves at us as we pass him. Everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be, perfect.
🎵Who left the big city,
To find a quiet life,
(Male Name)Vision!🎵
Vision drives into the driveway of our new home. We quickly hop out of the car and approach the house, but before we walk in I take notice of the 'For Sale' sign still in the yard. I quickly flick my hand and use my magic to change the sign to 'Sold'. After that I dust my hands off with a proud smile on my face as Vision scoops me in his arms bridal style, opens the front door, and carries me inside. I flick my wrist again and the front door closes and locks as we both move to the Livingroom of our already decorated 2 story home.
🎵He's a magical boy,
In a small town locale
And a hubby who's part machine,
How will this duo fit in and pull through?🎵
Once Vision puts me back on my feet, we start swaying with the jingle playing in the background while title cards pop up of written words that I don't care to read right now since I'm too busy enjoying this happy moment with my new husband. Vision then gives me a little twirl before wrapping his arms around my waist as we both dip into a loving heartfelt kiss.
🎵Oh, by sharing a love,
Like you've never seen
(Male Name)Vision!🎵
---SCENE CHANGE---
The scene suddenly changes as the lights flick on and cameras start rolling. You start the scene off by walking into the kitchen and start making your way to one of the grey drawers next to the oven and you grab one of your favorite aprons. Humming a little tune, you wrap the white cloth around your waist and start observing the kitchen to see what needs to be picked up or cleaned. Deciding to work on putting up the dishes, you raise your hand and the newly cleaned plates start levitating off of the counters and float off to the display racks, you then raise your other hand and a dark colored dish cloth floats out of the cabinet and it begins drying a glass cup. You then turn your back to the cup to observe if it had been cleaned good enough, suddenly you jump as a loud crash echoes through out the kitchen. Turn to see what the problem is, you only to find Vision looking up from today's news paper and glances at the shattered plate at the ground while a laughing crown erupts out of nowhere.
"My husband and his flying saucers" He says in his thick English accent (or is it British🤔), with a joking tone.
"My husband and his indestructible head" I reply back in the same tone as another laugh erupts from the crowd.
He then folds his newspaper and walked over to your direction, giving you a kiss on the cheek when he arrived, causing you to chuckle while twirling your finger, making the plate form back to it's original round shape before it floats off to it's designated spot.
"Vision, honey, what do you say to silver dollar pancakes, crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs, freshly squeezed orang juice and black coffee?" You say while walking over to the refrigerator, opening it and bending down, getting ready to grab out everything needed to make the meal for him.
"I'd say 'Oh, I don't eat food' " He says smiling at me, while the crown laughs again.
You look inside the fridge and hum to yourself in surprise while putting all the pieces together in your head before saying "Well, that explains the empty refrigerator then"
"(Male Name), my darling. Is there something special about today?"
"Well, I know the apron is a bit much dear, but I'm doing my best to blend in and have the 'Perfect House Husband' look." You say walking to meet him, assuming he's talking about the apron.
"No no, you don't have to try, you already are the perfect house husband." He says as he lightly grabs your chin with his pointer finger and thumb and lightly giving you a 'boop' on the nose. "But I was referring to the calendar. Someone's drawn a heart right above today's date." You then looked at him as you cluelessly try to figure out what he's talking about, so he puts his hands on your shoulders and turns you around to face the calendar behind you and he rests his chin on your head as you both look at the heart.
Trying to act like you know what day it is, you say "Well...d..dont tell me you've forgotten Vis?"
"Oh silly (y/n), I'm incapable of forgetfulness. I remember everything. That's not an exaggeration. In fact, I'm even incapable of exaggeration" He rambles boastfully.
"Hmm, well then if that's true, then maybe you can tell me what's so important about today's date"
He pauses for a second and thinks before he blows a slow puff of air out of his mouth, then deciding on saying "Uhhh...what was the question again? Oh well, no matter, perhaps you've forgotten yourself"
"Me? Heavens, no, haha. I've been so looking forward to it."
You both have actually been looking forward to day. Today you are celebrating...The first time you...uhhh...have ever celebrated this occasion before. It's a special day indeed, perhaps an evening?...of great significance?...to you both, naturally.. obviously...exactly! Well done for the both of you.
You two ramble on for a few more minutes trying to drill the other into spilling on what was so special about today, but you two couldn't since you were both obviously unknowing about it, then Vision remembered something.
"Well, sorry darling, that's me off to work, then." Vison says fixing his grey suit jacket and grabbing his suitcase walking to the front door. You quickly grab his hat hanging on the coat rack and place it on his head, fixing it to make it look straight.
"Also don't forget-"
"(Male Name), my dear how many times do I have to tell you I don't forg- oh you mean my face right?"
You nod letting him know that was what you were getting at. The audience laughs again as he quickly shakes his head and his face and hands transform from cold metal to warm flesh. Vision then puts his palm to his face and pretends to blow you a kiss, while you play along and pretend to catch it and put it over your heart.
Once he leaves out the door, you lock it a return to the kitchen, and make your way to the calendar, chewing on your polished nails (if you don't want nail polish then skip that part) as you try to remember the symbolism of the heart. Not even a second later your thoughts get interrupted as a loud knock at the door startles you back to 'reality'.
Going to go see who it is, you push the door that separates the living room and the kitchen, closer to the knocking. You quickly open the door and see a woman with a dark plaid dress and a styled black hairdo holding a grey plant in a white pot.
"Oh hello, dear. I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right. My right, not yours" She says in a sing-song tone as she uninvitedly makes her way into the house. The eruption of cackles echo as you look at her in confusion as to why she decided to step inside, but decided to keep a calm attitude and not say anything about it.
"Forgive me for not stopping by sooner to welcome you to the block. My mother-in-law was in town...so I wasn't!" she says laughing with the audience once more as her dress sways with her movements. She rushes the potted plant into your arms and you smile and take it as she makes her way into the living room to continue her snooping. "So what's your name? Where are you from? And most importantly how's your bridge game, hon?" She says not loosing a single breath, and of course not giving you time to answer in between questions.
"Umm...Well I'm (Male Name)" You say reaching your hand out to shake hers
"(Male Name)? Charmed!" She joyfully says and returns the gesture.
"Golly, you sure do settle fast! Yes sir you did indeed! Did you use a moving company?"
"Why I sure did. Those boxes don't move themselves." The audience laughs as your inside joke, because let's be honest, the boxes did move themselves since you used your magic to decorate everything. (Damn (Male Name), you really are a powerful sum' bitch)
'"So (Male Name), what's a single boy like you doing rattling around this big house?" She says siting on the couch.
You laugh to yourself and dreamily look at the finger your ring should be on that Vision gave you to claim you as his, (He liked it so he put a ring on it.....sorry...anyways) but paused as it wasn't there. That's not right, because you could have sworn that it was there when you created this rea-
"Oh no, I'm not single I-"
"Well I don't see a ring
"Well I can promise you, I am indeed married...To a man. A human one and tall too! A a matter of fact, he'll be home later tonight for a special occasion just the two of us." You say putting emphasis on 'occasion' with a wink.
"Oh is it somebody's birthday? A holiday?" Agnes questions bouncing up and down in the couch with her legs crossed like a 'proper lady'.
"Well, no and no"
"An anniversary then?"
"Ye-uhh...yes, Its our anniversary!" You shout, finally able to remember what that heart meant.
Agnes waves you over to come sit on the couch with her and you obey, sitting down she grabs and rests both sets of you two's clasped hands on your apron.
"Sooo...tell me, how many years" She asks letting out a little squeal.
"Well..uhhh..it...it uh feels like we've always been together"
"You lucky man-" She shakes her head remembering about her own husband "-the only way Ralph would remember our anniversary is if there was a beer names June 2nd." She chuckles as the audience laughs from nowhere again. "So what do you have planned?"
"How do you mean?" You questioned her. I mean you never really did have time to come up with anything since you just realized, or assumed, what today was.
"For your special night, (Male Name)! A young boy like yourself doesn't have to do much, but it's still fun to set the scene. Say-" she says standing up to slowly make her way to the door "-I was just reading a crackerjack magazine article called 'How To Treat Your Husband To Keep Your Husband', and let me tell you somethin'...what Ralph could really use is, 'How to Goose Your Wife So You Don't Loose Your Your Wife'. She kidd's as her and the audience laugh. You look at her and shake your head trying to hold back your own laughter. "Hang on, I'll go grab it and we can start planning. Oh, this is gonna be a gas!" She shouts running to the door so she can leave and run to her house.
-----Time Skip---
Both Agnes and you are back on the couch, looking through her magazines trying to find ideas for the anniversary dinner you planned for you and Vision to share, when out of nowhere, the phone started ringing interrupting you two. You got up and rushed over to it hoping you don't miss the unknown caller, you pick it up and put it to your ear and then start talking.
"Vision residence how may I help you"
"(Male Name), darling I-"
"Vision, my dearest husband. How are you sweetheart?" You say cutting him off from his obviously panicked and frantic voice. I mean come on, you are just excited to hear your husband's voice after a hours of him being gone.
"Listen about tonight-"
You cut him off again, already knowing that he was going to talk about the anniversary. "Don't worry, dear, I have everything under complete control"
"Oh, well, that is a relief. I must confess, I'm really rather nervous" He says over the phone.
"Nervous? Whatever for?" You question.
"Well, you know, darling, I still get a little tongue-tied."
The audience coo's and aww's at how a dust of grey creeps up on your (dark grey/grey) cheeks. "Vis, after all this time..." you giggle out.
"There's a lot riding on this (Male Name)! If tonight doesn't go just so, I think this could be the end.
'Wait what' you think to yourself
"Well, it's just one night. There's no need to get dramatic." You say in a worried tone as you grasp your now queasy stomach.
Vision's tone begins to get more serious as the conversation continues in his attempt to express how important this is to you. "Look, I think the best course of action is to impress the wife."
"Well, first, I think you mean husband. And secondly I also think the best course of action is to impress the other husband too." You look over and give Agnes a thumbs up and a wink in her direction, and she does the same while sipping her martini.
"Glad to know we're both on the same page, love. Until tonight, then, my sweet little husband" Vision says making two smooching noises through the phone to you.
"Until tonight...my robotic husband" You return, whispering the last part so Agnes doesn't hear you. She couldn't hear you anyways, being too busy sipping her drink and flipping through the pages. You finally gently put the phone on the hook and return to the couch.
---Time Skip, Later Tonight---
Before Vision made it home, you set the big dining table that was next to the living room and tossed colorless silk scarfs on all of the laps in the room to set the mood and made your way to the bedroom to get dressed to surprise him for when he gets home. When you heard the door open and heard his voice, you tip toed your way out of the bedroom and into the living room, dressed a long fluffy white lingerie robe with white fur that wrapped around the arms of it which was trailing behind you, exposing both of your (dark grey/grey) legs. You then went all the way to Vision's black silhouette and gently wrapped your hands around his eyes, causing him to jump form the sudden contact.
The audience laughed again as they know your mistake. 'Where the hell is that laughing coming from, and whey is it happening right now of all times?' you thought to yourself in confusion.
"Guess who~" you seductively whispered to your husbands.
Suddenly the lights turn on and you hear Vision's voice that was filled with a mix of shock, embarrassment, and irritation at your recklessness. "(MALE NAME) WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"
You gasp and look in his direction. "Vision? What are you-" then it hit's you, if Vision is right there, then who's-
"Oh! Oh my stars, I'm so sorry!" You say to the man you mistook for your husband. You quickly uncover his eyes and stumble away from him as he stares at you in shock. Then you look down at your attire and try to cover your exposed leg as much as possible.
"What is the meaning of this!" The bald headed mad says appalled, as his wife stands behind him looking around cluelessly.
Vision interrupts with his stammering voice just as confused as everyone else. "Well..uh yeah (Male Name) what is the meaning of-" Suddenly it hits him and he tries to comes up with an excuse off the top of his head. "-Oh, the meaning of it! You want to know the meaning of it...and...the meaning of it is...that this is the tradition of (Random Foreign Country/Continent) greeting of hospitality. Uhh...guess who???" Vision says as he runs behind you and overs your eyes.
"Oh is that my host being me?" You say playing along.
"It certainly is, darling. Lovely to make your acquaintance" Vision says vigorously shaking your hand. "See i forgot to tell you my husband is from (Random Foreign Country/Continent)" he giggles along with the audience.
"Oh, how exotic!" The man's wife cheerfully laughs.
"I never knew such a place as that existed" He says in a dark yet serious tone.
"Oh hush Author, have you no culture. Oh and the robe, I absolutely love it!" His wife replies trying to lighten up the awkward mood.
"Thank you so much ma'am-" you march through the living room and snatch off the silk scarves from all the lamps and tightly grab Vision's hand. "-Can I just see you in the kitchen for a moment, sweetheart?"
You both then slam your way through the kitchen door and it swings closed behind you, leaving Vision's boss and his wife behind as they sit down on the couch and patiently (more like impatiently on Arthur's end) wait for your return. You then turn around and look at each other before throwing questions.
"Who are those people?!"
"What are you wearing!?"
"Why are they here?"
"What are you wearing!?" Vision questions again boldly
"Well, it's out anniversary, that's why I'm wearing this!"
"Our anniversary of what?" Vison says, desperate to know what the hell you were talking about. Eventually you had enough of these shenanigan's and throw the scarves down at his feet stomping your way to the kitchen chairs. "Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!" you exaggerate, crossing your arms and pouting like a child
"(Male Name), darling! That...that man through there is my boss Mr. Hart! And his dear lady wife Mrs. Hart! The heart on the calendar was an abbreviation!" Vision whispers, roughly tapping his hand on the black heart drawn on the dull colored calendar.
You grab your head and shake it trying to put everything together. "Vision sweetie, you move at the speed of sound and I can make a pen float through the air. Who. Needs. To. Abbreviate!?"
Vision grabs both of your shoulders in an attempt to collect his thoughts and calm you down. "Darling, listen, it's all romantic to do the candles, the music, that stunning outfit. I don't wanna be unappreciative, but right now-"
"Your boss and his wife are expecting a home-cooked meal. Correct?" Vision nods his head while muttering 'exactly' while look around the kitchen in order to find somethin to serve to the unwarned visitation of guests. After looking around for a but, your eyes land on the mini round table that held a plate and food on it. "Well, does your boss and his wife have a hunger for a single chocolate-covered strawberry, split three ways?" Vision hisses while clenching his fists and shaking his head no.
"Oh wait, I might have better ideas" Without hesitation you raise both of your sands and snap your fingers, magically changing your outfit to the one you were wearing earlier that day, a pair of dark high waisted cuffed slacks and a white blouse to match (you can change if you don't like), and the audience claps in astonishment at your transformation whilst you tie your apron in a bow behind your back. Vision gives you a quick peck on the cheek and runs back to the living room to keep others company while you figure out what to serve everyone.
---Time Skip---
After minutes of looking, you couldn't find anything in the kitchen, and the refrigerator was empty, so you decided to call your good neighbor Agnes to see if she could pick up some things from the store and bring it over. A couple of minutes pass and you finally hear a familiar knock on the back door in the kitchen. As soon as you open it Agnes rushes through with her hands full of groceries stacked to her chin as she stumbles through the kitchen. Before you could even mutter out a 'thank you' she stops you dead in your tracks and puts all the food down on the table. "Before you can say anything don't think about it. I mean, what kind of housewife would I be if I didn't have a gourmet meal for four just lying about the place. Not that Ralph wants to eat anything other than baked beans, which explains a lot about his personal appeal, mind you." The audience laughs one more at her silly humor as you quickly render to her aid to grab some of the groceries before they could fall. Unfortunately, it seems like the Universe was not on your side since the large cooking pot crashed and hit the ground, echoing throughout the kitchen, while Agnes yelled out an overexaggerated 'oh my'.
You had to get rid of Agnes and as quickly as you can, so you decided to just push her out the back door despite her protests to help you cook. "Thank you so much Agnes but I can take it from here-"
"Are you sure dear, many hands make light work. And many mouths make good gossip too!"
"Oh ahahaha, you are so naughty! But-"
"Oh, shall I preheat the oven then? hmm?"
"That won't be necessary, thank you for your time!"
Somehow she managed to escape your grasp on her waist and make her way back to the counter to crab some kitchen tools to start cooking for you. "Well, I know you're in a pinch so this menu can be done in a snap." She says snapping her fingers before continuing her rambling. you run back over to her and snatch the utensils from her, setting them on the counter, and grabbing her arms to march her back to the door. "Lobster Thermidor with mini-minced turnovers to start. Chicken à la King with twice-cooked new potatoes for your second course, and Steak Diane with mint jellies for your main. Oh wait! Do you set your own jellies, dear?"
"Yes Agnes I do, now can you please-"
"Ah there you go, good boy! Recipe cards are all on the counter there. Bon Appétit!"
"Haha, yes will do, thank you so much again Agnes! Bye now!" You say slamming the door, making the audience laugh at your exhausted expression. Now that she's gone, you run to the middle of the kitchen and throw your arms around, making all of the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen fly open, the dishes start floating out, and the food starts cooking. Out of no where the doors to the island bar swoop open to show Mrs. Hart, but before she could see Vision distracts her by breaking out and singing Yackety Yack by The Coasters, causing her to break out into a little dance, making her way back to the couch. Dear gods and goddess', how lucky are you to have a savior like him.
But little did you know, that the night was only just beginning.
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Finish the fic? Leave a like and comment if you enjoyed it. Also, give it a reblog too! Once again, I'm so sorry it was rushed! Please don't be afraid to let me know if there are any typos or errors. I will go back and edit this
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indreamsink · 4 years
Note
Hello! Sorry if this sounds annoying, but I'm an aspiring writer on AO3 and you're my favorite Dramione author!Do you have any writing advice, specially regarding the pacing of the stories? I feel like I can't balance scenes descriptions and dialogue correctly, but you're amazing at making your stories flow seamlessly!
Well hi, thank you so much! I really appreciate you. <3
Thanks for reaching out, and sorry it’s taken me a few days to get to this ask. I wanted to be sure I had time to actually sit down and go through some old notes and take some time to properly respond (it got a little long, sorry x). Here are a few things I try to keep in mind when I’m writing that I’ve learned over the years - and please note, this is just my own personal opinion on these things, and I’m by no means an expert. <3
I think one of the biggest things about good pacing is to keep the reader engaged. To create and hold tension, the story always needs to be moving forward in some way or another (this doesn’t mean there can’t be setbacks, but that the situation needs to evolve in plot/character development).
Conflict - this lies at the heart of every story, but can take a number of forms. What does your character want, and how will they seek to achieve it? Is the goal internal, external, or both? Do others stand in the way? These are important questions to ask yourself and to understand, even if some of it never makes it to the page. Your implicit knowledge will often embed itself more than you might think. 
As the stakes raise, the conflict needs to follow suit or the circumstances could grow dull and incongruent - ie drastic consequences for something that isn’t a big deal.
Conversely, non-stop conflict and tension can become tedious and tiresome to read. Allow your characters a break now and again. Shifts in pace will keep the story feeling fresh.
Keep track of your threads and try to avoid plot holes or noticeable discrepancies, which can jar a reader out of the story.
If your characters are likeable or relatable (not necessarily both) the reader will tend to care more about them and likewise become more invested.
Storytelling - this encompasses a number of things. You can lose a lot by way of pace with too much unnecessary infodumping. Let things unfold naturally, and not everything needs to be shared all at once. A little ambiguity can keep interest in the back of the reader’s mind, so that when information comes out down the road it’s that much more rewarding. The things left unsaid can often add a lot. 
Jumping right in on the action can often catch a reader’s attention right away, instead of a bunch of exposition.
Revealing information through dialogue can help to advance the story between characters, without feeling like a heavy block of narrative or description. 
Not every scene needs to be fully expanded on. If all the points of consequence have been shared, the scene can cut to the next without any significant loss in plot. 
Reflections can be used in place of fully fleshed out scenes to keep things moving. 
If you’re jumping between perspectives/POVs, you don’t need to re-tell the same scenes twice from different perspectives unless you’re purposely intending to reveal something that maybe one character missed that’s vital to the progression of the story. Also keep in mind that by splitting POVs the reader will know more than any one character will.
Word choice goes a long way. Short, crisp sentences will keep things moving faster (something I struggle with personally), whereas longer, flowing sentences can slow things down a little. I try to mix it up to keep a good flow. Check you aren’t structuring all your sentences in the same way, and don’t be afraid to break up your paragraphs - large blocks of text can sometimes be tedious.
SHOW, don’t tell. Instead of having a character say something angrily, demonstrate it. Is their hand curled into a fist? Their jaw clenched? Their face flushed? Making reactions visual and visceral can go a long way, not only in keeping the reader emotionally engaged, but also in preventing bland description.
There are so many “rules” of writing, many of which are subjective, and I try to be mindful of a number of them. But I think the biggest thing in writing, like in any craft, is always striving to improve and recognize learning opportunities. I do things in my writing now that I never considered even a year or two ago. The best way to improve, honestly, is just to keep working at it. Read, write, read, write, and so on. If you’re just starting out, stick with fleshing out a short piece to dip your feet in before digging into anything too substantial. 
If you haven’t already, try and track down an alpha or beta reader. An alpha is someone who reads at a bigger picture level - plot holes, characterization, storyline, pacing; a beta is the person who goes through to catch the spelling, grammar, punctuation, and sometimes wording/sentence structure. Just having a second, objective set of eyes can go a really long way in determining where you’re doing well and where you could stand to improve. Writing is a neverending pursuit, and you’ll probably never feel like you’re where you want to be, but that’s part of the joy of it (most of the time). 
I hope some of this was helpful!! I wish you the best in your writing (and I apologize for this novel of a response). <3
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