#(i don't wanna start shit so i won't say who. but you can probably guess.)

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

What’s your opinion on opla

it got me back into one piece after years away, so: generally positive!

in my head (and maybe in tags somewhere) i've referred to it as a "speedrun" to express what i think of it as an adaptation—it's doing everything fast and has to skip some stuff to do it, but in broad strokes it is telling the same story. i think that was inevitable, when tackling in eight episodes an amount of story that took, what, fifty episodes in the anime? they simply could not do everything, but what they did do i enjoyed.

[yurislotusgarden]

Wearing their Clothes, Part 2

ʚїɞ Separately! Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol, Sigma x Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ Part 1 for those who want to read it <3

ʚїɞ word count: 1164 (Fyodor - 329, Nikolai - 368, Sigma - 461)

ʚїɞ Tw's: None! Just pure fluff, pet names used, reader's gender is not specified in any way, probably ooc but I live for soft characters

Fyodor Dostoevsky

No matter what, you getting his ushanka won't be an accident or a surprise for this Man. He probably knew for quite a long that you wanted to try it on.

Probably would make sure that you won't get it for Some time just to tease you and see your reactions to failing. 

Once he decided he had enough torturing teasing you, he would leave the ushanka on a chair or the bed, in a way that it looks like he for once, doesn't have it in the bathroom with him (Yes the rat showers even if forced) and just left it there. 

So, you obviously had to take your chance and try it on.

////////////////////

"Myshka, what are you doing?"

He definitely came out faster than you anticipated. You spun around, looking like a deer caught in headlights. To say that you took off the ushanka at the speed of light would be an understatement. 

"Ehm... Nothing?" A raised eyebrow. 

"Nothing you say."

 "Yup! Absolutely nothing! Was just looking if my eyebrows are equal!" A dumb response? Very much. Did you care? Not in the slightest, not right now. 

"So my ushanka in your hand doesn't exist?" Fyodor started to walk up to you as he said that. 

You threw the ushanka onto the bed in a hurry. "I don't know what are you talking about Fedya" 

"Sure you don't" 

Fyodor picked up the ushanka from where it lies and put it gently onto your head, fixing the few strands of hair that fell on your face. Are you hallucinating or do you see a small smile on his face? 

"You look nice in it, Myshka" 

“Really?”

“Of course, I wouldn't lie to you after all.”

You looked better in the ushanka than the dark-haired Man first thought, to say the least. And if he told you that you can wear it whenever you want, then no one needs to know, yeah?

Nikolai Gogol 

The little shit /affectionate I swear 

He probably knows you wanna steal either his hat or his cape, but wouldn't give you an opportunity to steal it just to see your reactions. It's amusing and he wants to see your emotions what can I say? 

I feel like the first time wouldn't be an accident but planned by him. Casually kidnapping taking you out in winter or just a colder day without letting you get warm clothes first, resulting in shivering and being cold soon enough. 

"Cold?" Came with a teasing smile from the clown. He knew what he was doing and had the audacity to tease. You swear you will hit him with something once you're back home. 

"Shut up, Kolya. Why did you even bring me out here so suddenly?" Your confusion was as clear as a clean glass. 

"Why, to have Some fun! Time for a quiz, dove!" 

"Oh no" 

You swear Nikolai loves giving you quizzes that no one but the rat Fyodor could get or guess. You could bet with the dark-haired Man in question and win the bet.

////////////////////

"And you lost once again!" 

"I did" You chuckled. As much as you lose, they certainly never feel like ones. "So what happens now that I lost?" A good question as every time you lose, Nikolai manages to make the 'punishment' -his Words not yours- a different one. 

"This!" 

And before you realized it, you felt something heavy on your shoulders, but it also was warm. Looking at yourself, you see that Nikolai put his cloak over you, and fucking hell if you could you would just curl up in a ball and sleep, or even hibernate in this shit. The material inside is softer and warmer than you thought, no wonder he doesn't get cold.

"Your cloak?" 

"Didn't you want to try it on, dove?" 

"Is that why you brought me out in this weather in my pajamas?" 

"Of course! How else could've I given you the honor of wearing my cloak?" 

"..."

"Dove?"

"...Listen here you little shit-"

////////////////////

Next week he whined all around, whether at home or at work, all because of you not cooking his favorite cookies that you do every week.

Sigma

I had to think about what would you even steal from this Man but then I remembered this guy wears heels. 

You probably wouldn't need to think of it that much, it would probably be a random idea you got when noticing that he left them somewhere. I feel like he Has a big ass room in the Sky casino, an apartment more like, so getting the heels that would be left by the door wouldn't be hard at all.

////////////////////

You have to say, that even tho the heels don't fit perfectly on your feet, you are absolutely slaying the look. 

"I have to steal them more often goddamn" You mutter to yourself, looking in the mirror.

You continued to walk around a little, just for fun, the heels were more comfortable than you thought, and now your confusion about how does Sigma wears these every day and doesn't complain about feet hurting has been cleared up. 

"Name? Have you seen my heels?" Fuck. 

"No? Why?" From what you know he doesn't wear them after 10 pm (22), since people tend to not come to his office much after if anyone even does, so why is he searching for them at 11:30 pm (23:30)? It's almost midnight for fucks sake. 

"They need me down in the Main room, but I can't find them." 

"Maybe you left them somewhere else and don't remember?" 

"Maybe"

You thought you were safe when you heard him walking away… until you heard him walking directly to the bedroom where you were a few minutes later. 

'Shit-' You thought as you realized that and took if the heels, lightly throwing them under the bed so it looks like they were left there after being taken off by Sigma and kicked under by accident. 

You went back to standing in front of the mirror just as the Man Opened the door. 

"You sure you didn't see them?" 

"Yeah. Why?" 

"The heels are under the bed" Came the soft reply from Sigma, together with a finger pointed at the pair of shoes. 

You leaned down, making it look like you didn't know. 

"Oh, sorry love" To your pleasure a barely noticeable blush appeared on his cheeks due to the pet name. 

"Don't worry about it" A quiet response this time. Sigma Walked over to get the heels before putting them on. 

He stopped at the door before he walked out of the room and turned back to you. "I know you tried them on [name], just so you know." And casually Walked out. 

You want to jump from the window. Fuck. 

////////////////////

Sigma didn't mind, not at all. In fact, he bought you a matching pair of heels. It’s needless to say that this pair is one of your favorite shoes.

Notes, comments, reblogs and anything else is greatly appreciated <3

[pure-oddity]

Worth the Trouble

Simon/Ghost x Mean!fem!Reader

Warnings: slightly toxic? Reader is verbally mean and ghost Def manipulates the situation so he can have the missus come see him. PiV , Smut MDNI

“Heard LTs lost it, goin around on a rampage.”

“Just about near it. Price thinks he's injured and trying to downplay it. Won't tell him much aside from ‘I'm fine’. Hell for all we know hes just got a man-cold”

“Ach, the poor bastard”

Gaz snorts and continues with the next set, Soap checks for signs of struggle or strain before continuing (a dutiful gym buddy)

“Heard he blew some recruits ear out.”

“Think he backed out entirely, can't blame him - if I weren't already knee deep in this shit I'd tuck tail and run from Ghost”

“You n me both. Well. I did always have a taste for trouble. Probably woulda sought him out and he mighta strangled me.” he muses happily imagining his Lt tossing him around.

“Surprised he hasn't already “ gaz laughs, his eyes determined through the final pushes.

Soap laughs at that, thinks his lt has gotten close once or twice.

“Don't worry much about it though” gaz grunts.

Soap meets gaz's eye, watches a bead of sweat trickle down into his hair line.

“Why not?”

“Captain says he's calling in the secret weapon. Going nuclear.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Johnny questions, thinks of what could possibly be nuclear in regards to Ghost.

“Dunno. But I guess we'll find out.” Gaz finishes, setting the bar back in place and sitting up with a groan. He gives a sniff to his shirt and audibly gags.

“Yea that's rank, you wanna hit the showers?”

“Sayin I stink Garrick?”

“Sayin we should hit the showers”

“Cheeky cunt”

Soap follows his fellow Sargent to freshen up in the shower block, a stealthy sniff to his armpit solidifying his choice in joining.

The issue of the ornery Lieutenant momentarily forgotten.

—----------

He always knew price had an easy time with the ladies, but to parade one around so freely - a young woman at that?

“Well well, did price finally let you out his basement? I knew he had a pretty bird caged away somewhere!”

He reaches out a rugged palm and his smile is all boyish charm.

“Names Soap, nice to meet you bonnie”

She doesn't respond and doesn't move to shake his hand. Her arms remain seated within pockets of the leather jacket she adorns. Just continues to chew a wad of gum, sizing him up like one would an enemy. She looks bored, mildly annoyed.

He can't feel too upset over the snuff, the ample amount of cleavage on display makes up for it.

“Not the sociable type? No problem, work with one of those - I'll break you down”

She looks at price now, who - soaps noticing - looks like he swallowed a lemon laced with depression.

“MacTavish. This young lady is not my bird - lovely as she is - but she is the solution to our problem.”

For once Soap is speechless. Realization kicking in suddenly and with a force so strong his jaw drops.

“.....is that why he's pissed?? Lads gone without a bit of pussy and he's lost the plot? “

“MacTavish”

“Just sayin! Sorry lass, don't mean to be crude” he does mean to be crude actually. He is crude, but usually he waits till the second date before parading that fact around.

“......let's just get this over with. Fuckin bullshit for you to pull me out here. again” She grosses, looking miffed.

“Right, yes. Again, I do sincerely apologize- I wouldn't if I had another option”

“You're his captain, just order the fucker to act right” She scolds him, dissaproval evident in how she sizes him up.

“Unfortunately my lieutenant is a master of malicious compliance. Sweet as sugar with me, but a menace to anyone else.”

She sighs something resigned and annoyed. He watches as she blows a small bubble and pops it with a sharp click. Her brows scrunched and nose wrinkled into a sneer.

“Are…are you actually here to - do I get something like this if I start throwing a fit?!”

He eyes the woman next to his captain as she walks past him, seemingly familiar with the layout of the building.

“MacTavish. Shut up.”

“Yes sir.”

A brief pause

“Is it cause he's a lieutenant? Do I need to be a lieutenant?”

“Give me 50 Sargent MacTavish “

“Yes sir.”

He drops quickly and works through the 50, counting quickly before springing back up and towards the direction his captain and mystery woman left. He catches up to the tail end of their conversation.

“-he won't come out”

“really. Have you tried, I don't know, kicking the door in?”

“No. A bit extreme don't you think?”

He watches as she walks to the door, examines it, and he thinks ‘no, no way’. Watches as she turns and braces herself against the doorframe and thinks ‘Oh she's insane’ as she picks her foot up and slams it back against the door with a solid thump.

She gets 4 in, he notices the damage to the door grows steadily - the odd tinge of arousal at the unhinged behavior of this woman.

Feels his stomach drop to his knees when the door is thrust open and she's dragged inside the darkness.

The door is hardly shut when the screaming begins.

His captain waits patiently while he looks towards him and the door.

His LT is loud but she's managed to be louder. He can't make much out from how fast everything is said, muffled through the slightly askew door

“-acting like a fucking toddler!”

While this isn't his particular brand of dirty talk, he supposes it makes sense for the ghost to want a heavier hand.

Too heavy, it would seem. The loud thump is jarring, enough so that he springs towards the door. Price grabs him, handles him into his side with a fierce look and a sternly mouthed ‘no’

The screaming had stopped. The silence is deafening. Johnny thinks at least one of them is dead. A woman that crazy probably wouldn't go down that easy, even against a ghost.

His body flinches when the door opens, he expects a limp hand to flop out horror movie style- heavily surprised to find the lass perfectly intact, not a hair out of place.

He peeks in the open doorway to see Ghost knelt in a way that can only be described at revenant. He sits at her feet, face pressed to her stomach while he clutches her body to him. she has a hand on each of his shoulders and glares down like an angry God.

“We'll be in the infirmary captain, he's got an infection. Stupid fuck.” She slips from Ghosts grasp with some struggle, swatting at clutching hands as she commands him “up”

Ghost, much like his namesake,rises like the dead and slinks out of the shadows of his room and into the light. He looks, oddly pleased(downright giddy) for a guy just pronounced a ‘stupid fuck’.

He watches as the fury marches towards the medbay, her hellhound shadow tight on her heels - might have even carried her if she didn't look as rabid as she did.

“Captain?”

“That's Doll, Johnny. Ghosts leash, and Simon's keeper. Try to annoy her less yea? She sends ghost after you and there'll be fuck all I can do to stop him.”

“Heard…..doll? Really? I think of a doll, I think sweet and porcelain. Not, pissy with a heavy heaping of crazy. She looks like the type to cut brake lines.”

“Yea well, just don't let her know which car is yours and you'll be fine.”

“Sure she won't just cut them all?”

He sighs, something heavy and worn.

“I'm hoping she's forgotten where we keep them.”

—-------

“Hi just him today, thanks.”

“Oh um, and you are?” Doctor Nicole has seen a lot. Hasn't seen this yet. Might see more if spouses were more common on base.

“Im his voice currently. And his brain. He's not smart enough to use either on his own to tell you about his infection. Left leg, by the way.”

“Oh well. Oh. Um. I - I'll have you hop up on the bed then lieutenant! I'll take a look and. And fix that.”

He doesn't move, stares at the woman(his voice and brain, apparently) like she's the only one in the room - in the world.

His world groans and throws her head back - he chuffs.

“Listen to the fucking doctor , on the bed. Now.”

His steps are heavy and solid as he seats himself on the edge of the bed. Thighs spread and hands limp between his legs. He looks like a hunched beast eyeing his next meal.

The doctor finds that having her keep his attention is better than having it herself.

“Well. Uh, left you said?”

“Yeah. Calf area - knife probably? Something sharp.”

“Well then, uh , lieutenant? Are you able to, to roll your pant leg up for me to see? Or is the pain too severe?” she prods gently, he doesn't respond.

“Roll up your pants.” like a marionette with strings tightly wrapped around her fingers, he moves to roll up his jeans to reveal the sickly wound.

“Oh yeah definitely an infection. Odd for you lieutenant, usually you're better at catching this.”

The woman scoffs and slumps in her seat. He leans towards her as she sends him a scathing look.

“He's a fucking man child. Threw a tantrum to get what he wanted and now he's being pampered.”

“Mhm.” The affirmation is the most sound he's made since coming in here.

“Well I'll just. I'll just get this taken care of” Nicole stumbles put, feeling like an intruder.

“ ‘Priciate that doc. Don't be afraid to make it hurt.” Her tone is tinged with sadistic hope.

“Oh I. I'd never intentionally hurt someone under my care - that's unethical “ the military may not be the most ethical, but she's damn sure going to try to be.

“Pity. He'd deserve it, letting it get this bad-willingly might I add.” She snips at him , face scrunched.

He hums something delighted, and the doctor wonders if she should order a psych evaluation. Remembers the 141 are notorious for dodging said evals and dismisses the thought entirely.

If he likes when women are mean and degrade him, that's his business.

He sits still, moving only when told by the woman in the chair who's now playing on her phone.

He stares at her intently, glares at the phone occasionally. The doctor finishes quickly, grateful that the infection was only in its earliest of stages.

“Okay so I'm prescribing a round of antibiotics, I noticed that you have an allergy to penicillin so I'm giving you doxycycline." She writes the perscriptipn down quickly, grabs a bottle stocked preemptively for cases like this.

"Take it with a meal twice a day every 12 hours until the bottle is empty. Come back within a few days just to make sure it's progressing and then again when the bottle is empty.” She types in a quick series of notes notating the lieutenants upcoming appointments.

“He'll be here. I'll make sure of it” there's a bitter edge to the woman's words, the doctor wonders how anyone could stand to be with someone so angry.

“God I hope you do” ghost groans out, threat either going over his head or straight to his crotch.

The doctor flinches, forgetting the lieutenant capable of speech.

“Well thanks for the help. I'll be getting him back to his captain.” the woman hops up and walks towards the door.

“Oh uh, have a g-good one!”

She smiles politely, drops it quickly when she eyes the once again silent wraith behind her

“Let's go, it would be rude to make your captain wait.”

He nods and follows along after her, like a deformed elongated shadow.

An odd couple, the doctor muses. But not the oddest she's seen. Not even the weirdest.

Another soldier bursts in, she hears the words ‘snake bite’ and ‘penis’, wishes she was stuck back with the ghost and his guide.

—-------

“You alright then, lieutenant? Everything sorted?”

“Affirmative sir. I've got the prescription, doc cleaned me up and changed my bandage. “

“Good. Thank you for coming, Doll.”

“He only acts like this because you let him, you know.”

“I do. But sometimes it's easier to go along the path of least resistance. Trying to argue with a stubborn mut, or handle the fury of his actual commanding officer? I'll take you anyday love.” He finishes with a purr, noting the sudden tenseness in Ghosts shoulders.

“Careful, might put thoughts in a girl's head if you keep talking like that.” She notices too, but eggs the poor lieutenant on - smile a touch cruel.

“Oh? That all it takes? Not a fan of Mactavish then?” semi-joking now. He'd be a liar if he said having a pretty woman snark up at him didn't effect him at all.

“Prefer waking up with mouthful of English breakfast personally. Speaking of-” She turns towards ghost, her face still cold and indifferent as always.

“I'll be in your room. I'll only be here another hour and then I'm gone. Why don't you see if your captain can find it in his heart to dismiss you early”

She smiles something sharp and sinful, takes off in a run that makes Ghost body jolt - he looks like a junkyard dog choking himself on the end of his lead trying to get a bone just out of reach.

“Captain. May I be dismissed.”

“Well-”

“Captain.”

“Simon”

“Captain price, may I please be dismissed, sir”

There's a desperate edge john isn't used to. Something rabid, something hungry. A darkness kept caged wriggling through iron bars.

“dismissed, lieutenant “

The ghost breaks off into a sprint, and the hunt is on. Price can't think too much about how it ends, his trousers already too tight at his twinge of interest.

Similar shades of fucked up, the both of them.

—----

He's panting in your ear, groaning as his hips slap against and bruise your ass.

“fu-fuck. Come on, give it to me. Show me you're- fuck! Show me you're worth all the fuckin trouble - Oh god, simon!” You can't help but scream, hope he doesn't have neighbors.

His pace is mind-numbingly good, making up for the dry start in the beginning. Prepped just enough to fit him but not enough for the ache to be avoided. But he knows your body thoroughly , and with a few well aimed thrusts and a circles of your clit you're dripping down your own AND his thighs.

A mess on his bedsheets - he thinks of it as a present for later, you think you spoil him.

He fucks you like an animal, unhinged and hurried- like he's worried you'll get up and leave, worried you'll realize he's not worth the trouble.

He pins you further under his weight and changes the angle - groans at your wail of ecstasy .

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! You - you better not pull this shit again. I - I let you keep this fuckin job -please don't stop- let you play hero but -oh god, oh god - but don't-”

You gasp, moan something pained and drawn out as you come again along his rigid cock - muffling a scream into his pillow as he grinds up into the sensitive spots in your cunt to draw your orgasm out further.

“k-keep this shit up toy soldier, see how quick I put you back in the box!” You snarl , glaring at him over your shoulder. He groans deep and slams as deep as he can, unloading against the deepest parts of your hole.

He's still hard when he slips from you, wrangling you onto your back before slipping back in. Your legs fit nicely on his shoulders, and you're grateful for your flexibility.

You scoff. “can't cum lookin at a skull , switch to another one or take it off - might have a chance of getting me off then” you wonder how mean he'll be, wonder if he'll actually stop to find a different mask.

Dont have wonder long as he's quick to throw the whole thing off. The black grease around his eyes is streaked from the sweat - hair plastered to his forhead. He looks happy to see you.

“not - not bad! Might be worth all this after- after-after!” You buffer aloud. Like a skipping record, you'd be humiliated if it didn't feel as good as it does.

In fact. You should be mad at his constant interruptions, but he's persistent on fucking through your cunt and into your brain.

“Tell me. Tell me dolly. Tell me sweet heart. I'm worth the trouble, yeah? I'm your trouble right? Gonna keep coming back, keep coming on my cock?” He says it like he doesn't exist somewhere in your rib cage nearest to your heart. Like you don't already live in his.

“Yes, yes!” You promise, the one you will die before you break.

“Yes what?" He implores, a steady chant of 'keep me, keep me, keep me' running through his head.

“To all of it you fuck! Yes! All mine, my cock, my headache, my brute - fuck!” your own mind proclaiming that you'll keep him 'forever, forever, forever"

You're crying now, overstimulated tears as your thighs quiver on his shoulders.

“Yeah. Yeah. All yours, n' you're mine. All fuckin mine. Not Prices and not fuckin Johnnys” he snarls, bitter and possessive.

“Gotta act up, gotta cause a mess. Can't get you here otherwise. “ he continues, pace consistent to further along your impending ruin.

It's getting hard to keep up with the banter. Hate how he's still capable of talking while you're becoming goo.

“J-just fuckin wait till you're off deployment! Fuck!”

“Nu-uh, get too tight n mean when I do. Have to drag you here to give you your fix so you're sweet when I get home. You're my sweet girl right?” He coos mockingly.

You don't respond. too busy clawing red ribbons into his back.

“Right?” He punches your cervix now, enough to make you choke and bite into the meat of his shoulder.

You bite hard. Harder when he moans. You lick at the indents and nose into the hammering pulse at his neck.

You can tells he's close with how his tempo gets thrown off, how his huffs louder. Having forgiven him for making you drive all this way, you give the dog a well earned bone.

“Yours, your sweet girl. You just need to work for it a bit hm? You don't mind huh big guy? My big guy?” You whisper into his ear, whine into it in a way you know drives him crazy.

He comes with a shout, one you know the whole fucking base heard. You're too fucked out to care much, especially when the brute lakes down and settles his weight on you with a contented sigh.

He hums, a touch demanding and you roll your eyes. You rub a hand gently up and down his torn back, scratching gently at his scalp to feel his heavy sigh of contentment.

“You gonna take care of yourself now? Got everything out your system?”

He hums, tone non-committal - fucker. As long as price has your number, as long as the ghost stays restless - you'll be called in eventually. Not a matter of 'if', but 'when".

Thankfully you don't mind being the nuclear option. Not much anyway. Especially if this is what it gets you. A moment of peace, skin pressed against skin - soft breaths evening out against your collarbone.

'Yea', you think. 'He's worth the trouble.'

(End notes: the thump that was heard was actually Simon falling to his knees. Dude goes from 0-100 when it comes to love so he either ghosts(hehe) you or worships you.)

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

One more from (mostly) climate journalist David Roberts:

"I haven't written much about politics since the debate, mainly because I'm so overwhelmed by disgust & contempt toward this country's media & commentariat that it has rendered me inarticulate with rage. Twitter probably doesn't need more rage. I do just wanna make one point tho.

To be clear up front: I don't give one tiny hot fuck who the Dem nominee is. I truly don't. Biden's fine. Harris is fine. A warm puddle of vomit is fine. *There is no conceivable resolution to the nomination fight that could change the basic calculus of this race.*

Preventing a fascist takeover of the US is my top priority--as a journalist, as a voter, as a human. If it isn't yours too, you should feel bad about yourself. If you haven't made the stakes of this election clear to everyone within the sound of your voice, you should feel bad.

But I'm not gonna rant. [breathes deeply] Just gonna make my one point, which is this: the idea that that the process of jettisoning Biden & choosing someone else will go well -- will be *allowed* to go well -- is a deeply deranged fantasy.

The idea that Dems will do this & will end up feeling unified, that Harris will come out popular, that "the dynamics of the race will shift," all of that ... fucking deranged. Deranged in such a perfectly characteristic Dem way.

"This person/policy/slogan/approach has been irredeemably slimed by Republicans & a hostile media -- let's throw it overboard!" That's the Dem way. Always with this starry-eyed hope that they can reset, start over, get it right this time.

Just as one example -- other people have aggregated these -- there have been "calls" for every Dem nominee of the last 30 years to step aside. Dems practically delight in abandoning their own people, policies, & principles in response to bad-faith pressure. They f'ing love it.

But, as I've been saying for, oh, 20 years now, the situation is structural. The current situation is an outcome of a particular incentive structure & that structure will remain exactly the same if Harris takes over the ticket.

For centrists, journalists, pundits, *even Dem electeds*, the way you prove you are a Reasonable, Serious Person in DC is by shitting on Dems. For the left, the way you prove you are a true radical is by shitting on Dems. For the right ... well, obviously.

Everyone's professional incentives are to shit on Dems. Dwelling on Trump & his fascist movement -- however justified by the objective facts -- just doesn't bring that juice, doesn't get the clicks & the high-fives, doesn't feel brave & iconoclastic. It's just ... no fun.

So, say Biden stepped aside in favor of Harris tomorrow. How long until the vapid gossips we call political reporters find something wrong with her, some alleged flaw they just have to write 192 stories about? How long until the hopped-up mediocrities we call pundits ...

...find some "counter-intuitive" reason that the new Dem ticket is flawed after all? How long until the irredentist left gets over the temporary thrill of its new Harris memes & remembers that she's a cop & turns on her? How long before the ambient racism & misogyny in the US...

... lead center-leftists to conclude that, sure, they'd support a black woman, just not *this* black woman? In other words: how long before everyone reverts to their comfortable, familiar identity & narratives?

About 30 f'ing seconds, is my guess.

Dems uniting, feeling good, telling a clear story, receiving credit for their accomplishments--all of that is *impossible* in the current environment. It won't be allowed. Dems can punch themselves in the face all they want, abandon whoever they want, apologize all they want...

... they simply will not be allowed to turn the page & start fresh, because everyone's incentives remain the same. If they did that, elites, including media elites, would have no choice but to openly & frankly grapple with Trump & what he represents & they *don't want to*.

Everyone feels comfortable shitting on Dems -- it's just a cozy professional space. You get to feel brave & independent (just like all the replacement-level pundits around you) with zero risk.

Yes, it's abysmal, contemptible cowardice on a genuinely embarrassing scale ...

... but it is what it is & we should have no illusions that it will change with a change in the top of the ticket.

As @whstancil has been trying to tell you people (good god how he tries), the information environment is thoroughly corrupted.

@whstancil For some reason, left pundits are pathologically averse to acknowledging that fact. And so they grasp at these straws -- if we could just get rid of Biden, we could have a reasonable conversation! Yeah, sure. You absurd summer children.

@whstancil This election is not a choice between two individuals, it's a choice between worldviews, between futures. Do we want to continue down the path to multiethnic democracy or do we want to impose a white patriarchal Christian autocracy?

@whstancil At stake is the entire federal civil service. The machinery of state built since WWII. Freedom & dignity for millions. Yes, democracy itself. That's not an exaggeration. Yet this country's elites have utterly failed to convey those stakes to the populace. A *grotesque* failure.

You can not look at this extraordinary media freakout this last week and not psychologize, not see all kinds of displacement. They can't or won't be serious about Trump & so they are fucking *giddy* at having permission to scold Dems again. Their safe place.

Anyway, my point is just: none of this will change if Harris replaces Biden at the top of the ticket. The idea that the media -- with these soulless careerist court gossips in charge -- will allow it is just fantasy. They *need* Dems in disarray & so they will engineer it.

The US is right on the precipice of falling into bona fide fascism & *the vast majority of the voting public doesn't even know it*. That speaks to a deeply diseased information environment. Until Dems do something about that, all their self-flagellation will buy them nothing.

Not knowing what else to do, Dems shit on their own

(Rebecca Solnit)

[star-vibing-prompts]

☆Some random ass prompts☆

Feel free to change the pronouns and stuff! Feel free to credit me or something, I don't really care???? Just make sure to claim them as your own.

Also maybe '@' me if you use these! I wanna see what y'all do!<3

"Who said you can have her? If you want her, you'll have to go through me!" "...disappointing but fine."

A is pregnant and B is dead. How is B dead? Who knows? However A is stressed and is still grieving for B. How does the child birth go? Who knows? All up to you.

B invites A to a midnight dinner to discuss some important matters and just what are these important matters that got A all horrified and shocked?

"Hmm...I guess it could work, but will it really?" "I don't know, I'm just going with my gut here." ".....we're all gonna die....."

"I will bite you!" "Oh fuck you!" "...the sexual tension between those two is unreal holy fuck.."

"Hey mama? What's papa doing?" "Your father is being stupid but at this point, I'm used to it." "Is that how you guys met? Him being silly?" "Haha, yes little one. Indeed so."

A is a bit chaotically unhinged and B is a tired workaholic that wants A to calm down for a second so B can confess their feelings to A.

A and B are dating and are planning on getting married very soon, however, C has been feeling very lonely since the two first started dated so they want to join in on the relationship but aren't sure how to bring it up to the two without sounding creepy or awkward or desperate.

C and B are snuggling and A joins in on the snuggling session. Poly ships go brrr!!!

^^^ "Who knew A can be this affectionate when snuggling, huh?" "Haha yeah." "I can hear you y'know? So shut up and let me enjoy this."

Smut prompts! (Read at your own risk)

"Mmm..that's it baby~ just moan for me and me only~"

"Aww~ you're so cute. Do you want your daddy to give you a reward for being such a good girl?~"

"Me. You. Bed. Now."

"Oh? You like it when I bite? Why didn't you say so sooner?"

A is horny as fuck and is usually the dominant one in the relationship but tonight B is horny as fuck and decides to show A how much of a dominant person they really can be.

^^^ A is so into that shit.

B wants to spend quality type with A privately but A is always at work so when they finally have a day off, B had decorated the room to "set the mood". Does A like it or not? All up to you.

B's boss comes to visit B and A, however, he ends up flirting with A while B is fuming with jealousy. However, B easily scoops A and starts aggressively making out with A to prove and show B's boss that A belongs to them only.

"I will fuck you so hard that you won't be able to walk for a few months! Understand?" "Mm kinky. Why not do it right here and now then babe?~"

"What the fuck are you?" "I'm a sex worker." "..oh-" "Got a problem with that?" "No...but can you fuck me?" "Heh, if that's what you want~"

Yandere prompts!

"You belong to me only darling!"

A shy innocent looking yandere x A tired asf college student

"Aww,,you're so cute and gorgeous when you are all dolled up like this! What's the occasion? You aren't going with that BITCH are you?"

"I love you! I love you! I love you! Wait- hold on- why aren't you saying it back? You do love me back right?" "O- Of course! I lo- I love you too." "Yay! But why are you crying? Who hurt you?!"

A emotionless yandere x A bright sunshine

A is a yandere and practically forced B into a relationship with them by using their secrets and loved ones against them. B is absolutely fucking miserable and probably beyond broken and saving (emotionally wise)

A werewolf yandere x A vampire

"Whoever said you can't leave? You can leave but all you gotta do is tell me where you're going on what day and at what time! Okay love?"

"No! You must stay with me! It's the only way that I can be truly happy! Please! I'm begging you! I love--no--I - I must love you!"

"I promise I'll always be with you but...you gave me no choice, I had to. I had to protect you from him. I'm sorry my love."

[nerves-nebula]

OK SO HUGE SPIDERVERSE 2 SPOILERS HERE i wanna discuss what themes i was picking up on and that i'm the most excited to see resolved

obviously theres FAMILY and PARENTING but i'm more interested in the themes presented with how The Spot developed and ALSO how that relates to miguel's whole situation

there is one main thing i wanna talk about tho:

inflexibility/the justification of cruelty

To me this is the core of the conflict behind both what happened with The Spot (my beloved) and whats going on with Miguel & the other spider-people's adherence to maintaining the status quo of their shitty shitty lives.

the inflexibility/justification of cruelty is obvious with miguel, it's like his whole thing. but I think it's less obvious with Miles. Miles cracks jokes to cope like a lot of spiders do, but his mockery of The Spot made things WAY worse. Like, here's this guy who tells you a harrowing story of how his life got ruined, and yea it's not entirely your fault but it's also not completely unrelated to you. He's completely alone, no one will hire him, he's a freak! And to top it all off, you won't even let him steal some money so that he can fucking live! whats he supposed to eat, miles?????? where's he supposed to LIVE.

and yea that's a lot to drop on a 15 year old but he's also a superhero (the age of which most people don't know) and the LEAST he could do, the BARE minimum imo, is take this guys pain seriously. even if he does look funny or weird, and he's not a huge threat at the moment.

I think we were supposed to relate to miles while he was fighting The Spot a the start, we saw the meeting with his parents and how bad he needed/wanted to just get the fight over with to stop disappointing them. But if you think about it from the spots perspective the whole thing wasn't just humiliating and frustrating- it cemented in his mind that spider-man was an uncaring and cruel person who didn't give a shit about him as long as he didn't disrupt the status quo of normal people or whatever.

but who cares, right? Miles does that all the time. that's just how things are, right? there's no need to change how he thinks about the lives of the people he fights so long as it doesn't affect him personally :/

And that's kind of what miguel does too. he's just more aware and active about it. he does things he'd rather not do, makes sure people suffer the way he thinks they have to because that's just how things are.

and both of those are probably not actually necessary! it's needlessly cruel to force spider-people to lose the ones they love, and it's needlessly cruel to mock and belittle a man who's had his life ruined to the point he needs to turn to crime just to survive.

I can't prove it yet cause the next movie hasn't come out yet, but I feel like it would be a bad idea for The Spot to die, I can accept him dying but only if they acknowledge that this isn't entirely just because The Spot is like, idk, evil or something. I want them to acknowledge the cruelty and pain that lead to this.

The same way it wouldn't make sense for Miles to end up agreeing with Miguel, it just doesn't match with the themes they've set up so far. Miguel is clearly coded to be in the wrong about what he thinks has to happen, and I suspect there's an aspect of his story/history that we aren't aware of. I can't say how or why but I think he's wrong about why the universe he went to fell apart (maybe he knows that, maybe not?) but I guess we'll have to see.

anyway can't wait for spider-man 3: even more fucking spiders!!!!

[pokemon-ash-aus]

Ash after going on vacation from streaming to go on an adventure, then dying and coming back three times during, coming back to streaming: "Y'all won't guess what happened AGAIN during this times vacation!"

(dunno why but I'd like to think that in any pokemon world where Ash Ketchum is a streamer he's told his followers and subs about his deaths. So like him dying during vacation happens so often that there is now an emote for when he says it and the emote is just him in the family guy death pose)

It's consenually assumed that Ash is fibbing the 'death' count and legendary count, No one is THAT unlucky.

Ash ends up being known as the Exaggerator among the streaming community. Cancel culture left and right to take him off the platform because he's lying. But everytime you send a hate mob, Ash shuts that shit down fast.

"Just cause you guys don't believe in me, doesn't mean im lying." He scowls one day in the middle of a CraftMines game (tm). "Fuck off and eat shit, I just wanna play games, train and tell you all stories."

The scowl on his face ends up being a reaction meme for awhile, usually followed by *The only time i cuss.*

I just imagine in Kalos, Right after the Yveltal situation, he streams directly after it. It's only his face, but you can hear the hustle and bustle of the hospital works.

"Alright, Who bet on this one being worse, Pay up cause wowzers."

And the chat floods with

Wowzers?

Did he say wowzers?

Dude what drugs are you on?

Yo, are you in a hospital??

Motherfucker said "wowzers" okay old man.

"I'm on Morphine, and i took a pretty bad hit to the head, excuse me for being lingolistic of the last century." And the camera tilts before he rights it, just as pikachu comes onto the screen, looking battered and bruised and a helluva lot more gray than before that's only barely receding. "Why did i do this again? Oh- i was gonna say im gonna take a break from streaming for a bit."

"Why did you stream to say that then?" A voice offscreen asks. "Why not like, send a Pidge?"

"It's actually called Z now." Ash quips back and his eyes are closed. You can see the bruises underneath his eyes. "probably should of- i dunno Clem my head hurts."

"Okay, say bye then."

"Bye then."

The stream doesnt end right away, Ash sort of doses off with Pikachu nestling on his neck. His fur is noticeablly less gray, but no one will figure that out until they compare

At First, there are skeptics all around. Loads of people calling it a publicity stunt cause - who the fuck streams in a hospital for crisis sake!!! Theres like a hate mob for awhile, and his numbers drop wildly.

Until a video comes out, it's clearly a bystander that shows the blurry images of a Pokemon. You can see the camera desperately trying to focus but it can't. You can also see it attacking groups of people, so the camera focuses on them.

You can hear Ash screaming for his pokemon, for Pikachu, before the video cuts out.

The numbers sky rocket, abd everyone desperately awaits for the next stream. Except the Kalos League hapens, and they're all left in the dark until Ash goes back home to Kanto. His arm is in a cast, his face is bruised along the left side of his jaw, and his nose has a plaster over it.

"So." He starts the stream, smiling brightly. "Trainers and Entertainers, guess whose not dead!"

And the stream skyrockets to one of the most viewed for the time.

I went wild but like- thinking on it, Streamer AU has got me. XD

[infoglitch]

My very bad takes on rwby ships (the well known ones atleast. And yes most are jaune)

(i do not represent anyone except myself so do not judge others based on me because if you do. That's YOUR problem. Not the peoples you think I represent)

Hoi! I think its time I get crucified. Kidding obviously. This community isn't completely toxic, that much is obvious. Now let's get the obvious ones out the way

Bmblb.

Ok... time for the one I don't wanna touch because I don't have nice things to say.

Ok first. I don't mind this ship. Wanna get that out of the way because unlike most would assume. I don't hate or love this ship.

BUT. I got problems with how it was made fucking cannon. First off, fuck you rt and your "from the beeginning". I don't fuckin care how much you try to cover your incompetent asses. If the pants don't fuckin fit. Don't fuckin wear them!

Second. There was no real build up (you can argue there was. But it wasn't good. Anyone could have done a better job than rt). The only real thing that could "prove" this was planned was that yang "flirted" with Blake. Now you might be saying-

"oh but she explained her trauma to Blake that clearly means shes interested in her" in which. NO. Yes this moment is VERY good basis to build off these twos dynamic. And if rt kept building onto this by having yang slowly break down Blake's wall before eventually getting her to open up, I would be applauding rt for it, hell I would be a fan of it probably because for these two, it fuckin works! Blake clearly is alot more reserved and is rather prickly meanwhile yang is the rambunctious, ass-whooping, badass, and overall awesome ball of joy (sounds weird saying especially since yang is my favorite character). yet rt dropped the fuckin ball the moment sun showed up. Now I love sun and i enjoy black sun. But for the love of GOD if this shit is from the beginning than this clearly proves it was fucking not!

After volume three who did blake spend most of the time with in menagerie and rt was clearly trying to push? Not bmblb! BLACK-FUCKING-SUN. Let's give a round of applause to RT for making the dumbest decision of saying bmblb was planned from the start because bitch it was not.

And what did we get for yang. Oh only her trauma from one losing an arm and the fact she has PTSD from it. Oh yeah let's not forget the fact yang had ABANDONMENT ISSUES. Yet the moment her and Blake meet back up suddenly it doesn't fuckin matter because Weiss managed to somehow fix it by telling yang that Blake had suffered as well (i know that's not exactly what happened but point is I fuckin HATE the scene where Blake rejoins the team and yang is just "OK! I totally still don't have problems with the fact you left me and the team at both my and our teams lowest moment." Personally fuck you rt)

.....where was I again? Oh yeah rwby ships. So before I fuckin lose it at rt's incompetence at story telling, developing a romance and character building- let's move on to..... whiterose.... SON OF A BIT-

Whiterose

Look does the fact I don't care for BB and the fact I hate white rose with such a burning passion make me look like a misogynistic homophobic asshole a bad thing? Yes. But I just can't enjoy this damn ship because I just find it so FUCKING BORING!

I get it, it's "opposites attract". But I just don't care because this is so boring and basic that I can't even be glad a gay ship is actually popular instead of the same boring straight pairings.

I don't care if ruby could help Weiss be less of a bitch. Because that troop has been done to fucking DEATH.

There's not even the fact that it be a middle finger to Weisses dad because guess what he's already got his comupance and is also you know, FUCKIN DEAD. There's no satisfaction from any of this ship for me. Is it a bad ship? Fuck no we aren't even going to cover THAT!

But do I like this ship and hope it'll be cannon? No. And if it is? I won't care and I'm not even gonna celebrate it. You can take a fat piss on my grave before I say whiterose becoming cannon is the only option.

Now what ship is next- oh. Oh no. It's the ship everyone enjoys.

Arkos

Look I'm already gonna get fuckin crucified for my opinion of WR and BB. I don't feel like pissing off even MORE people!

... ok fine I'm saying my opinion.

I don't care for this ship. I don't care for pyrrha and I'm actively glad she is dead.

I won't even elaborate because this ship is dead and will gladly piss on its grave.

Rest in piss arkos. Overrated as fuck!

Next up is... rose garden. Finally a ship I dont mind supporting... but also... one thats gonna be hard to say

Rose garden

Look... their just fuckin cinnamon rolls and I love it!

"but you hated arkos yet both jaune and pyrrha were cinna-"

Uhp! No! None of your bullshit. But I will explain.

I don't care for arkos because I don't care for the fact pyrrha has no development. Not even a personality. She was always "the one girl that has feelings for jaune" which don't get me wrong, jaunes one of my favorite characters but I prefer the character he would be shipped with are actually characters and not... cardboard.

Now thankfully Oscar does not suffer the same fate. He's not infatuated with ruby, he is just a "kid" who just found a wizard stuck in his head and now he's off into a war he never knew about. He was timid (batshit terrified even) and yet when he sees the courage shown by the cast he slowly tries to be like them. with the moment between ruby and Oscar being a moment I fuckin love. Oscar is being honest and asking ruby why, why does she keep fighting? Keep marching into a unknown war that could very well kill her. And ruby simply answers by admitting she Is aware she might die, she even lost good people during the fall of beacon but she kept going because she wanted to be a huntress, she wanted to HELP people.

One of the many reasons I love rose garden is because these two fuckin dorks grow WITH each other instead of the simple "oh I'm the love interest of the main character I'm gonna be a cardboard cutout of the character I should be!".

I can't put it into proper words but I just love rose garden.

Whiteknight

Wait... are we actually talking about white knight and not another ship that I probably don't care about and get crucified because of them?

FUCK YEAH!

Gentlemen and ladies. I am proud to say I am whiteknight trash because damnit I love this ship.

I will say it now this ship is the shit that gives my Tumblr account LIFE. And like rose garden I can't even find words to describe how this ship makes me my brain go up with dopamine. This ship is just my favorite ship. Weiss and jaune have had so much buildup. Starting with jaune being a idiot and trying to flirt with a very much more cold Weiss (HA) To Weiss laughing at jaunes reaction to his voice after the high of depression that was V9! The little smile jaune had as he heard Weiss giggle. To the mother fuckin mature scene that has skyrocketed to memehood! I just love this ship because it is just everything I want out of a romance subplot!

Knightshade

Oh... oh we already at some.... unpopular ships.

Now this isn't exactly ship related as pyrrha was to arkos but I just don't like Blake, so you might be thinking "oh then you must hate knightshade". Well..

You.

Are.

WRONG!

I don't know why I like it I just like knightshade. It's cute, it's got enough crack to make it a crack ship, and the memes! The. Fuckin. MEMES.

God I love knightshade.

Knightfall

So... how do I say this?

I love this ship. Not joking I love this. I'd be peeved if this became cannon but as syndrome once said

"OH COME ON! YOU GOTTA ADMIT THIS IS COOL!" (Man was a salty man and died like a BITCH)

As to why?

The

Fuckin

ANGST!

I could write an entire fanfic of jaune and cinder fighting each other for days on end until jaune fucking loses but instead of killing him cinder just lets him live. To continue to fight as she gets some sick enjoyment from the attention.

That's all. (Also cinder please choke me with your thighs-)

[GLITCH HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY BANNED.]

Alright I'll behave. No thirsting, now onto.... Lancaster.... you know I can't tell if I want to be killed or be celebrated as a fuckin gift because this list is bizarre as fu-

Lancaster

.... where do I begin?

Ok I should probably state this now. I love this fuckin ship despite how... cliche it really is. I want these two dorks to be fuckin happy but I just can't say whole hearted this is my otp. It's just not for me, I'm sorry. But as you all know I have written.. some.. Lancaster fanfics (I am absolute jaune shipper trash, you can Bury me before I say any jaune ship is terrible except THAT! Even arkos ain't bad just overrated!)

But... yes I like this ship that why I'm writing fanfics in the first place I like alot of jaune ships (despite how much I hate THAT!) Because we'll most female characters that I pair with jaune have atleast some form of interaction. (Except silent knight. I just like that one because I like the "small murderous and tall gentle" dynamic. But we aren't covering silent knight.)

Now thats all I could say for Lancaster but there's one more sister that I wanna talk about but first.

For runner up on this list. Drum roll please.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Thank you-

.....

Huh I guess that drummer wasn't as dumb-

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Ok fuck you, your fired!

Now for runner up on this list (mainly because I like it but I don't have much to say-)

Martial arcs

(ha bet y'all rat bastards weren't expecting me to list a gay ship that I liked.)

Now all I have to say is.

🎶let them be fucking gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!~

OH YEAH!🎶

Now onto... my favorite one thats not white knight. The one, the only, the truest form of "what the fuck is glitch snorting"-

Dragon slayer

This is the one ship that has continued to be a ship I love dearly.

To me yang and jaune feel like they would be each other's wing(wo)man and would just be an ride to watch.

There wasn't even any evidence in why this ship could happen. But I still love it. Y'all can call it "just a write inserting themselves as jaune" but let me say this.

Dragon slayer is the Pinnacle of the most wholesome moments! Not even Lancaster can compare to the intimacy of this ship and yes! I AM TALKING OUT OF MY ASS BECAUSE I LOVE THIS STUPID SHIP AND AINT NO ONE TELLING ME I SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

....

Ok I think that's enough talking about Rwby ships for one Day because I've caused three things.

1) probably pissed off arkos, BB, and WR shipers.

2) weirded out quite literally everyone with my batshit insanity.

3) probably started a debate on what I mean when I say "THAT!"

Anyway have a great day/night/or what other time it is bitches, bros, and non-binary rat bastards

I'm off to get crucified because OH BOY did I probably poke the bear.

[runningflowers]

impressions

first trial. what are everyone's thoughts of prisoner eleven?

tw/cw: cursing, mentions of drinking, smoking and threats

jackalope

"prisoner eleven. i would deem them one of the more interesting prisoners of milgram. also one of the more dangerous ones. who knows what they can do really. only time will tell."

es

"seriously a pain in the ass. out of all the prisoners, prisoner eleven is the most difficult to get information out of, but... when you do, it's the most rewarding. hopefully they won't cause too much trouble to the other prisoners. as much as i dislike everyone, i dislike prisoner eleven the most."

haruka

"prisoner eleven? oh! um... they're alright i guess. they keep me company and actually made me laugh a few times. though, i can't help but feel restless around them at times... it's not their fault though! i'm probably just overthinking it..."

yuno

"i like prisoner eleven! they give me a lot of attention, and i can joke around with them quite often. i feel like i don't really have to force myself with them. they can get a little too cynical for my liking sometimes, but other than that, they're like a good person to talk to!"

fuuta

"fuck prisoner eleven. i can't stand listening to them talk. it's like they know all the right times to piss me off. they're a fucking freak and that's all i know."

muu

"muu's first interaction with prisoner eleven was when they came up to me and called muu pretty. but after that, they just kept teasing muu about not knowing french... i was raised in japan."

shidou

"the most like a child out of all the prisoners. prisoner eleven is quite a refreshing character, but i am concerned for them at times. it seems like they're keeping up an act, but at the same time, that could just be how they are. i wonder if they even sleep. their eye bags seem to say otherwise."

mahiru

"prisoner eleven feels like someone i could truly love. out of all the prisoners, they keep me company the most! i like all the other prisoners, of course, but i think i like prisoner eleven the most! plus, they let me doll them up often!"

kazui

"if there isn't someone laughing at my joke, prisoner eleven isn't there. they always give me the biggest reactions to them, and i always appreciate it. i also found out that they're surprisingly a lightweight! are they even allowed to drink?"

amane

"prisoner eleven acts more like a kid than me, so i don't wanna hear any other prisoner say i'm like a kid! i once asked them to teach me something educational, and they told me they flunked school! i'm twelve. surely they know something i don't."

mikoto

"prisoner eleven is a pretty eccentric person. one time i blacked out, and when i woke up, they were smoking with the others. they then put a cig in my hand and offered a lighter. who influenced them?"

kotoko

"i'm hoping for prisoner eleven to be guilty, so i can beat the shit out of them with my bat. if i'm being honest, i don't think i could keep up with them if we went hand to hand. they're the type of person i want to get rid of the most."

a/n: i do not condone starting smoking or drinking or flunking out of school. stay in school. and don't do drugs.

[rpclues]

AJR - The Maybe Man pt. 1 Sentence Starters [ collection of lyrics from first half of The Maybe Man album. adjust as necessary. ]

Maybe Man

"  i'd miss the way we make up and smile "

" i wish i had eyes in the back of my head, then i could see the places I've been "

" i don't wanna know what my friends think "

" i don't wanna know the point of life "

" but when you get old and your good days are passed, you'll only want me when you're sad "

" wish i was a song, your favorite one "

" i'd never trip up and if i did, well, so fuckin' what? "

" i wish i was me, whoever that is, i could just be and not give a shit "

"  i don't know who the hell i am "

Touchy Feely Fool

" you could scream you wish me dead, but i'll crawl back to you tomorrow "

" why the hell can't i get mad? "

" someday, won't this be funny? "

" well, I want it funny now "

" sorry if i can't see how i'm screwed "

" but, hey, what can you do? "

" i would give anything to not give a shit about you "

" i would give anything to not give a shit, but i do "

" could you teach me to be ruthless? "

" could i be unfeeling too? "

" maybe someday, when i'm older, i'll be better off like you "

Yes I'm a Mess

" could i start again, somehow? "

" now you won't see me again "

" i could hate my guts when the sun comes up, but i like myself like this "

" why should i fix the shit i've done when i could just pack my shit and run? "

" i could hate my guts when the sun comes up, but i guess that's what this is "

The Dumb Song

" i may be the dumbest person that you've ever seen "

" you think you're hurtin' me, bet you won't believe it, but you kinda set me free "

" honey, it's no big deal "

" we'll get you back to college, you could study somethin' real "

" don't look at me, 'cause I got nothin' in my head "

" i'd do it in person, but i'd probably mess it up "

" your world is endin' soon. mine's a little better 'cause i never watch the news "

" you should not have done that "

Inertia

" my friends say they're quitting this week to chase down their dreams, they're probably bluffing "

" but you do what you can "

" don't you like it a little better when you don't understand? "

" don't ask where i'm going 'cause where i am goin' is right where i am "

" but i'm fuckin' hungry, and screw you, i'm trying "

" i wanna be big like my plans, so why am i so tiny, and why am i so mad? "

"  guess this is just what i am, i'm stuck in this life "

Turning Out pt. III

" got it out of my system, didn't i? "

" well, i wanted to be wanted. suddenly i'm wanting more "

" what if i don't want this? "

" am i missing something? "

" boy, i must be one fucked up guy "

" man, wish we were 85, the rest of our life wouldn't sound so scary "

" everyone's got it all figured out. everyone's got it; what do i not get? "

" don't overthink it. one day at a time, kid "

" don't overthink it, it's not fucking science "

[realrichinmyhead]

﹡ ' 𝐛𝐮𝐳𝐳 ' 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

( ૮₍´˶• . •🎀₎ა ) : ────────── dialogues taken from niki's album , ‘ buzz ’ . dialogues range from happy , sad , angry and more . edit and change as you deem necessary . please like and / or reblog if using and consider following !

❛ be a big boy and face the fucking truth. ❜

❛ what happened to making a light of every problem? ❜

❛ but real love is a verb, i get it now. ❜

❛ i don't need to know where you're at. ❜

❛ . . .but i'll be fine cause i always end up just fine. ❜

❛ not to jinx it, but i wanna be the reason your future lovers keep changing with the seasons. ❜

❛ who am i if i can't be everybody's strong girl? ❜

❛ my youth is in your past. you'll always have that. ❜

❛ so you wanna talk? ❜

❛ what is it that you want? ❜

❛ life is a gamble, and you'll have to live with that. ❜

❛ but you still smile at a stranger, and you still make your weekend plans. ❜

❛ did you like her in the morning? ❜

❛ i feel like hot shit. ❜

❛ is this what the kids call petty? ❜

❛ though it didn't last, i hope our paths cross again. ❜

❛ soften up where i used to harden. ❜

❛ no one will ever save you. no one and nothing can. ❜

❛ so what do you say? ❜

❛ no, guys, i swear he's not emotionally unavailable. he's just traumatized. ❜

❛ you came crashing in like an act of god. ❜

❛ goddamn it, i'm at least somebody's strong girl. ❜

❛ i wanna be an itch you can't scratch. ❜

❛ did all the pretending help you forget? ❜

❛ i get the feeling that you're something that will surely go wrong. ❜

❛ no, you don't get to drop my name. ❜

❛ and you look around your bedroom, you're all alone again. ❜

❛ did you laugh over cold cups of coffee that you hate but still drink anyway? ❜

❛ the difference may be subtle, but it would have saved us. ❜

❛ wanna make out in your car in the lot of a drug store. ❜

❛ you put on a show when there's nothing else to say. ❜

❛ so you take it easy and i'll take my time. ❜

❛ i couldn't care less if this ends, in the end. ❜

❛ so you hang up, and you're not sure if you wanna cry or laugh. ❜

❛ now i'm always afraid to take up space, yet doing it anyway. ❜

❛ are you the exception or do i just like your music taste? ❜

❛ you care more about being good than being good to me. ❜

❛ people fall in love and fuck up. ❜

❛ and take my word for it, knowing you made me better. ❜

❛ it's like you've known me through all my past lives. ❜

❛ say it with your hands and we can talk all night long. ❜

❛ and i've kept you at an arm's length but now my shoulder's sore. ❜

❛ i look like a tough shot in the dark on a good day. ❜

❛ and now you expect me to wanna get brunch? ❜

❛ i wanna be wherever you are. ❜

❛ now i may very well have just lost the one. ❜

❛ maybe it won't be a sure thing, but it sure is a good thing. ❜

❛ did you like her touch at night time? ❜

❛ do i think you deserve this? my answer doesn't matter. ❜

❛ i'm tired of playing pretend. ❜

❛ i know it'd be easier if i just didn't ask, but it'd also be easier if she wasn't your last. ❜

❛ i hope that it was worth it. ❜

❛ i don't wanna be your friend. ❜

❛ what are the odds that you actually like me, and not just the chase? probably embarrassingly low. ❜

❛ the song's about to start. can you hear it? ❜

❛ and i'll take the dog on a drive somewhere. and you take care. ❜

❛ fuck, i think i'm falling for you. ❜

❛ why can't you look at what's in front of you? ❜

❛ well, you look like you're gonna break my heart. ❜

❛ it's out of my hands to wanna feel yours. ❜

❛ i hope she stubs her toe next time she texts. ❜

❛ i'm about to fall for you. ❜

❛ does it feel heavy now to look at me instеad? ❜

❛ but i don't believe in mistakes, i know that's convenient to say. ❜

❛ i get the feeling that this feeling isn't one meant to last anyway. ❜

❛ yeah, i'm gonna play the shit out of the blame game. ❜

❛ something's always missing ❜

❛ guess what i'm trying to say is i'd rather die than be friends. ❜

❛ bro, if you like her, just go and fucking tell her. ❜

❛ no, guys, i swear he's not a lost cause, it's just he hasn't met the girl that'll fix his life. ❜

❛ wish you'd focus on what's in front of you right now. ❜

❛ you can do your own thing, look, the choice is yours. ❜

❛ baby, look me in the eye and say you don't got it bad. ❜

❛ wondering why you're so nervous 'round a so-called "friend". ❜

❛ did you hope the nights would never ever end? ❜

❛ something tells me this is gonna hurt someday. ❜

❛ but i can't help that i'm the thing you're looking for. ❜

❛ don't talk to me about your last date. ❜

[drpeppertummy]

shel epic tummy event

[hunger, stuffing, tummyache, tummy rubs]

“You ever thought about getting your knees done?” Leon looked up from the snack cakes he was idly browsing while they waited. He'd been noticing his friend looking more and more uncomfortable every time they were standing around at Wawa lately, and he was beginning to wonder if he should've suggested that he wait in the car.

“Oh, I don’t know,” sighed Shel. “Yeah, I’ve thought about it. I don’t know. I get nervous. I mean, look at Donna, she got hers done, she can barely walk.”

“Shelly, Donna got hers done in the Stone Age,” said Leon, and Shel snorted. “Modern medicine has come a long way since then.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Shel chuckled. “I don’t know. My doctor’s mentioned it a couple times. I guess it’ll probably come to that eventually if I wanna keep walkin’.”

"Two eighty-seven, two pizzas," the girl at the counter called, and Leon went to retrieve their dinner.

After being taunted by countless advertisements for Wawa's new personal pizzas, the two friends finally caved and decided to give it a shot. Being proper pizza-fed Jersey boys, neither of them had high expectations. Shel predicted that it would be somewhere between crappy skating rink pizza and Domino's--not real pizza by a long shot, but still edible. Leon predicted that Shel's prediction would be right on the nose. Still, the smell of it filled Leon's scrappy little car as they drove back to his place, and it didn't smell half bad. Shel in particular was enticed by it, having eaten lunch far too early that day, and his stomach growled loudly. Leon laughed.

"Since when are you so hungry?"

"I had lunch at, like, ten today," said Shel, smiling sheepishly.

"The hell for?" Leon glanced up at him.

"Had a bunch of shit to do, didn't wanna have to stop halfway through."

"Maybe if you're hungry enough it'll taste like Mario's," grinned Leon, reaching out and patting his friend's concave tummy, which was beginning to ache with dull pangs of hunger. Shel laughed.

"Yeah, right!"

They finally arrived at Leon's little old house out on the edge of town, and Shel's belly rumbled again as they headed inside. They were still in their work clothes, having come straight from the office, and Leon tossed his jacket onto the couch upon entering. Shel, who thought Leon's house was about as warm as the freezer aisle at the grocery store, opted to keep his on.

"You wanna eat in here or at the table?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'd eat it off the floor right now," said Shel, and his stomach growled in eager agreement. Leon rolled his eyes, smiling. It was rare for his tummy to have so much to say. He wouldn't have said so, but Leon thought it was sort of cute.

"Alright. Let's take it to the table, that way we won't get my nice clean couch all greasy," said Leon. Shel laughed. It was a soft, hoarse wheezing sound, and it was a strong contender for Leon's favorite sound on the planet.

"Yeah, wouldn't wanna mess that thing up," he grinned, and followed his friend into the kitchen. They sat down and opened up their little pizzas, and Shel's empty stomach let out another whiny growl.

"Hey, it looks alright," he remarked.

"That's your stomach talking," chuckled Leon, although he didn't disagree. As a matter of fact, they looked pretty decent, better than either of them had expected. Before the conversation could progress any further, they both dug in, Leon eager to test out the pizza and Shel eager to appease his cranky stomach.

The pizza was, in fact, alright. They were both impressed by the sauce, which was plentiful and tomato-heavy, and the cheese was sufficiently gooey. It certainly didn't hold a candle to Mario's, or any real pizza joint for that matter, but it just might have topped Domino's.

Ordinarily, the entire personal pizza might have seemed a bit much for Shel, and ordinarily, he likely would have decided before even starting to save half for later. Right now, however, Shel was uncharacteristically ravenous, and as far as his hungry tummy was concerned, the pizza was the best thing he'd ever tasted. Leftovers were not currently on his radar.

Shel's slim stomach filled up quickly, and it wasn't long before he found himself slowing down to his usual pace. By that point, he was more than halfway through the pizza, and the amount that was left didn't seem enough to save. Against his instincts, he continued eating. By the time he reached the last piece, he was definitely full. Still, it was only a small piece. He paused for a moment to gather himself, then bit into the last piece.

Finishing the pizza wasn't the worst mistake in the world, but it was a mistake regardless. For Leon, it was a perfect size, but it had been a bit too much for Shel, who now felt uncomfortably full. He sighed and leaned back in his seat, resting a hand on his tummy. Leon glanced over at him. He was a little surprised that Shel had finished the whole thing; his friend typically ate pretty light. His gaze fell to Shel's belly, which had been flat and sunken when they'd sat down. Now, it was slightly puffed out, poking out over his belt just enough to be visible under his loose-fitting shirt. A stranger would have thought absolutely nothing of it, but Leon knew better: his friend was stuffed.

"Shit, Shelly, I didn't know you had it in you," said Leon, giving Shel a pat on the shoulder. Shel smiled wearily at him. As his belly processed what had happened, he began to feel a little ill. His stomach felt snug and strained, as though it were struggling to hold onto everything that had been pushed into it, and the huge wad of cheese was settling like a big congealed boulder that had no intention of going anywhere anytime soon. He forced up a quiet burp, followed by a soft little sound of discomfort.

"Hey, why don't you come lay down, let your belly settle a little," Leon suggested. Shel thought that sounded just fine. The two friends rose from their seats, Shel even more slowly than usual, and Leon led him to the couch. It wasn't a particularly comfortable couch--Shel wondered how Leon managed to fall asleep on it as often as he did--but laying down was a tremendous relief. He melted into the cushion with a soft sigh and laid his hands on his rounded tummy. With his suit and his closed eyes, Leon had a fleeting thought that he looked like he was at his own funeral.

"You want a ginger ale or anything?"

"No, I think I just need to lay here a while," said Shel. Leon could understand that. He'd had more than his fair share of tummyaches, many of them being his own fault, and there was much to be said for lying motionless on the couch. Still, he wished he could help his poor queasy friend. Shel's normally serene face looked almost as tense as his stomach, and Leon felt a pang of pity for him.

Almost on a whim, Leon sat cross-legged on the floor beside the couch and placed one hand on Shel's stomach. Shel opened his eyes and gave Leon a sleepy smile. Leon returned the smile, then leaned his head against the side of Shel's chest and began to gently rub his aching tummy. Closing his eyes again, Shel draped one arm over Leon's shoulders, letting his fingers brush against his cheek as he did. Then, slowly, he lifted his hand back up to idly stroke Leon's thick hair.

Shel's stomach gurgled softly as Leon gently massaged it, and another quiet burp escaped him. He found himself beginning to feel a little bit better, or at least more relaxed. The warmth of Leon's hand on his belly was comforting, and his stomach was slowly beginning to settle. Leon was also feeling relaxed, with Shel stroking his hair and his heartbeat under his ear. His belly felt taut and firm, but the quiet gurgles coming from it suggested that it was at least beginning to digest.

Shel yawned, and Leon winced at the feeling of his already distended stomach expanding tightly under his hand. He continued rubbing gently in slow circles. As he did, Shel's hand began to fall limp over his shoulder. Looking up at him, Leon was pleased to see his friend drifting off, and he supposed he would feel better after sleeping off his dinner.

[hydrangeyes]

love language

So if you don't know, Yes this already existed, my old account was deleted (accident but I can tell I won't be getting it back), and am reposting my old x male reader works!

I don't know if I saved all of them but here is one that was saved to my AO3 account.

Edit: So shuffling through my docs It's been brought to my attention that wattpad (who I use as backup) Cut a lot of my fics in half??? anyway I'll be trying to fix that also

-------------------------------------------

lego monkey king character love languages

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wukong:

- It's physical touch

- like come on it's so obvious frfr this man is emotionally constipated

- that and gifts of any kind

- one day you get a shiny rock the next he's giving you an ancient and precious golden pendant or something

- more times than not you can find each other cuddling and sun bathing on his island or temple

- if he's feeling particularly soft or something that is when he speaks up, pulling you aside to play with your fingers as he nervously asks if you know just how much he loves you. (This def feels more constant after the lbd deal)

- at first it was sweet but towards the 3rd hour of him describing everything you basically kiss him silent

- work out around him and all that goes through his head is "buddah I'm so very gay, gay gay gay, my mate is so fucking hot."

- I whole heartily believe he would recite that audio of spike saying "I love a person who can beat him up, I want it to get embarrassing." Just towards you and it's so fucking funny.

Macaque:

- He's vocal and physical.

- vocal in a round about way but def the type to fuss when you have to get up from the cuddle pile for even a sec

- feel like Mac would recite poetry or lines from a play

- will beat someone up for you, a single frown and he's already plotting murder

- in turn melts when you give him a kiss anywhere

- his favorites are on the cheek

- anyway, he wouldn't give you gifts unless its during festivals and such, very much a practical use gift giver

- he doesn't want there to be any doubt that he loves you and knows you love him, and if there's a smidgen of doubt he's blunt in asking

- Besides sandy idk why but probably the most to be very hands down "communication is key" in the relationship

- idk why but he likes hanging or being on your shoulders, whether your short or talk my dude, he's on your shoulders in some way

Tang:

- I head canon he's demi on all accounts cause I want too, so everything starts as friendship

- as time goes he starts dragging you about to his fav places to eat or snack

- seems like the type to bring you back really good food

- he can't cook for shit but he just found this new food place and thinks you might like it

- in a non yandere way keeps tabs on everything you enjoy

- so I guess also a gift giver

- the gifts are food (I would say folklore books but I feel like that's more something you give him and you both read it together)

- hard to say what else as I've convinced my mind that tang is happily married (platonic or not) to pigsy and then both dating sandy, speaking of which-

Sandy:

- everything, he's a giver

- cuddles, gifts, kisses, cooking you meals, talking

- sandy I feel is very loving, just a big old cheese ball

- Just imagining him waking you up with a kiss on the forhead and the smell of your favorite tea and breakfast, mo purr on the bed as you guys talk about what to do today

- I def wanna say he's definitely a "look at my awesome handsome boyfriend/fiancee/husband/partner!" Will Smith pose style

- leaves stick notes of love letters and I love yous everywhere when he is in a rush for work or helping the gang somewhere

Pigsy:

- Easy

- he cooks you meals, he's great at it and it's something he's most confident in

- not just any but handmade and usually family recipes he doesn't make for the shop

- Spending time to show you how to make his family recipes

- a "Why would I buy you chocolates when I can make you chocolate from scratch for sweethearts day?"

- the calmest around you, not that you mind when he's being passionate (about hobbies and a new recipe he's thought of)

- his secret taste tester, before tang he let's you try all the new meals he has planned

- he tries to flirt but he sucks at it, you are kinda into that, it's cute

- He's very vocal but nervous when it comes to affection but gives it in abundance

- the way he proposes is asking if you wanna help parent mk

- if you ever fight (usually on work and taking breaks), you both give each other the silent treatment; pigsby usually caves first (hes hot headed but once he cools down its liek why was i even mad???) and goes to talk things out, usually the shop is closed next day and you both are on a date

[omentranslates]

Owari no Seraph chapter 136 english fan translation

Hi how are you. Do you wanna read a fan translation of the new ons chapter? Because I have one. You should totally also read the official from here though!

There was some promo material along with the color page I translated this time too.

Color Page: To save Everything, that's the ambition he's imbued into his sword.

Owari no Seraph chapter 316: God Resides Within Them

[Transcription of the OnS half of the following volume 32 ad page]

Knowing the truth only strengthens their desire for a path to salvation!

To bless the souls of all with forgiveness...Yuu* and Mika's fight begins!!

Having found out the truth of his own past, he's set his sights on "delivering salvation unto all in existence." His first step has been to pay Saitou and the vampires a visit and attempt to discuss with them...!?

-[chapter starts here]

Shikama: Yuu, hurry up.

Saitou: Urd!!! Do NOT let him get to the First!!

Ky: ....holy shit.

Lest: We're gonna get caught up in it too if we don't get out of here!

Shikama: Shit

Urd: O Sword.....CLEAR THE SKY ALONG WITH THE FIRST!!!

Yuu: I can tell that's bad news just by looking, what do we do about it?

Mika: Hmm...

Yuu: I wonder if we can just...tank it?

Mika: No shot, tanking that would kill us. And even if we lived we'd have been knocked too far away.

Yuu: Oh yeah, too far away to hear what the First has to say. So what then?

Mika: Mhm....

Mika: Ohhh- I've got it. We've cast curse of you can't kill us on the vampires, right?

Yuu: Uh, no I don't think they're really taking that into account with these attacks.

Mika: Well ok, but maybe that's because we're in the middle of a tumultuous battle now. So basically if we settle down and behave, our curse should go back into affect.

Yuu: Hm...

Mika: So as soon as we hear whatever the First has to say, we should just immediately let ourselves get captured and it'll be fine.

Yuu: Ok.

Mika: Alright, we've got our plan

Yuu: But how?

Mika: I'll take his attack alone until I hit empty battery, so just toss the sword into it.

Yuu: Aren't you just being suicidal again?

Mika: I'm already dead I can't be. Even if he explodes me I'll just come back whenever I eat some of your desire.

Yuu: That's gonna have ME running on empty, though.

Mika: Yeah it'll probably get you so bad you won't even be able to move, but it's better than dying right now.

Yuu: Sure I guess. Ok, I'll throw you now, then.

Mika: Great, I'll give it my all!

Yuu: *Link sounds*

Mika: *screaming*

Mika: Oh, nevermind I fucked up

Mika: YUUCHAN I FUCKED UP.

Ferid: That's the impact Urd Gilles' sword makes. Must be someone real powerful over there to cancel it out

Ferid: Am I right, My Queen

Krul: He's strong, this isn't Ferid's strength. I don't know if I can win here.

Shinya: Hey....Kureto nii-san. Are you still alive? ...Did you die?

Shinya: I gave you your next shiritori kana quite a while ago, can I consider it my win if you died? What would people say if they knew Kureto nii-san had died ragequitting shiritori....

Shinya: Uh??? Kureto nii-san, are you alive? If you really died-

Kureto: Hey.

Shinya: OH SHIT, YOU SURVIVED THAT?

Kureto: Stop being stupid. Let's set our allies loose and then get out of here, Shinya. And no dawdling.

Shinya: I know.

Yuu: I'm so hungry oh my god, this must be empty battery.

Yuu: Ok, First, I'm here! What are we talkin' about!?

Yuu: Oh, you're see-through! Wh-what the hell happened???

Shikama: I'm...being eaten.

Yuu: Eaten!? Wait by who?????

Shikama: By humans.

Shikama: I couldn't have imagined a human with enough power to do this...

Yuu: I asked who though????

Shikama: There's no time to explain. I need to transfer whatever is left of my magic and power to you before it's all stolen.

Yuu: Wh-

Mika: THAT WAS SO STUPID. I DIDN'T EVEN LAST 8 SECONDS.

Mika: HEY, HE'S SEE-THROUGH!!

Shikama: There's no time. Rigr and Urd are on their way. Before they get here, Yuu,

Yuu: What?

Shikama: You said you had found out how to resurrect Mikaela. Was that true? I've never once been able to do it.

Yuu: It was true. If you teach me how, I can do it successfully.

Shikama: Was I mistaken in the way I've been doing it?

Yuu: Yeah, all wrong.

Shikama: ...I see. But you found where that mistake was.

Yuu: I did.

Shikama: Understood. Then, since my time has run out, it's time to entrust everything to you.

The spell to resurrect Mikaela. The spell to hide this world from Paradise. The spell to destroy Paradise.

Shikama: There is a great price for you to pay for all of these. But still-

Yuu: I have my memories back, I can do it. I'll follow in your steps, I'll resurrect all of the angels.

Shikama: Ha, hahaha

Shikama: You really do surprise me, humans and homonculi both, before I even knew it you've surpassed your creator's wildest expectations.

Shikama: Alright then, I leave what's left of my power to you, who I know less and less what exactly to call.

Shinoa: I don't think so.

Shikama: .....what do you even intend to use all this power for?

Shinoa: For love.**

Shikama: How selfish, an expectedly human answer.

Shinoa: How are you any different?

Shikama: I never thought this day would come...my wish, I leave to the next generation.

Shinoa: I don't know who you were planning to give what to, but now that I have it, it won't be used to hurt anyone else.

Yuu: Ok

The power of the First’s love has been settled in that body....***

Owari no Seraph will be on hiatus next month.

T/N:

*the Yuu they use here is in katakana like they write the Homonculous's name (and how Shikama has been referring to Yuu recently)

**Shinoa uses the word for romantic love here

***changed from what I used to have after being asked for clarification, I think this version makes it more obvious which body they’re talking abt but you can still see the original with the twitter version XP

[danieyells]

I was reading Leo's affinity lines and his max affinity line has him making a bet with PC about who falls for whom first.

What if PC said something like "Jokes on you, I am already in love but it's not you", and the rumour spreads and now all the ghouls are thinking whom it might be , while Leo is just ... Leo

It would be even more funny if it's just an NPC they are in love with or even better if it's the janitor 👀

Lol I feel like Leo's reaction would be very 'this isn't about someone else you might be in love with this is about me' like. What's it matter if they like someone else? Do they think they're the only person he likes? NOT THAT HE LIKES THEM-- the bet still stands. They can love other people all they want but that doesn't mean he won't be among them.

On the other hand he probably wouldn't believe them when they say it's not him U: like yeah okay of course you're not in love with me. You'll admit it eventually.

But yeah I think if a rumor that the scholarship student was into someone got out people would start speculating. . . .and Leo would wanna know who it is and try and find out or get them to spill. Because he loves gossip and tea and being nosy. And he'd probably judge your taste unless it was like. Jin or Romeo. Or him, obviously.

You like Tohma? That fake ass guy??? I don't think you'd be worth faking love for for him.

You like Kaito? You'd be a terrible influencer if you fall for your simps that easily.

You like Lucas? Well that's just hopeless.

You like Alan? He sees the appeal in a good himbo at least but the guy's just as hopeless as Lucas.

You like Sho? Ha. Good luck with that. Sho's kind of a heartbreaker. Good luck with not falling for Leo too when they're basically a package deal!

You like Haru? The guy too busy to even attend to himself? Have fun pining I guess. Pretty pathetic.

You like Towa? Your taste is fascinating they should study you in a lab.

You like Ren? Yeah Ren probably doesn't like you. Pathetic.

You like Taiga? Are you some kind of masochist? Oh he's heard of this you're into vore aren't you. Freaky.

You like Subaru? Pretty boy with the perfect life and submissive personlity? That's about as basic bitch taste as you can get.

You like Haku? Again, fake. You like guys who make the first move and who're probably gonna cheat on you.

He doesn't know Zenji exists(maybe??? Maybe he could hear him with his stigma????) but. He wouldn't even know where to start with how bad he'd think your taste is for that.

He probably doesn't know about Ed either but he'd absolutely judge you for being into a vampire. Like is your fyp all gross booktok romance shit?

You like Rui? Hopeless. Maybe he can put you out of your misery lol

You like Lyca? Again, judging you for being into werewolves.

You like Jiro? Laughably hopeless! Jiro doesn't like you for sure.

You like Yuri? Once again you should be studied in a lab, but maybe you'd enjoy that too much.

You like Cornelius? Jokes about calling the cops.

You like Moby? You're a pervert with a tentacle fetish. Also you'll always be second to whatever group or whatever he's simping over.

You like Nicolas? You've got the most bland milquetoast taste in men he's ever seen.

You like Hyde? That is hilarious and he is going to text Sho right now oh my god. Hyde's a weirdo so maybe you have a chance there but Sho is never gonna let you live this down.

He probably doesn't know the janitor--at minimum he'd concede that he's a good looking dude--but if he did know him he'd probably have similar criticism to Haku. The guy feels fake and like he flirts with every cute girl he sees. Also, gross. Yeah Darkwick is pretty clean, not a ton for him to maintain, but still. And he'd probably have a similar "well I guess NPCs fit better together" reaction to the janitor or a general student lololol

[bigoltrashpile]

(If you are still doing this) Q1 or Q2 (which ever gets the brain brrring) with butch

I'll go with Q2, since I got another request for Q1 and both of them make the brain brrrrr pretty equally lol

Why the fuck was this skeleton staring at you?

He had been sitting at the table across from yours for the entire time you had been eating at your favorite little diner, and you were sure his eyes hadn't left you the entire time. It might be a coincidence, though. You were on a blind date after all, and you didn't want to insult them by looking at someone else the whole time. Maybe he just happened to look at you every time you glanced over?

Fat chance.

Finally, you couldn't take it anymore. "This has been really nice," you said to your date. It was a big lie, they had been talking about themself the entire time. "But I really need to get going."

Thankfully, they nodded. "Alright. Call me back sometime? We can do this again next week, maybe go bowling?"

"Sure, sure." You would say anything you needed to get away from that skeleton at this point. "I'll see you soon."

You walked through the darkened parking lot as fast as you could, desperate to get home to the perceived safety of your home. As you did, you didn't notice the bright red eyelights watching you from the shadows.

When you got home, you shut and locked all the doors and windows, unable to shake the feeling of being watched. At least you were safe now....right?

You woke up the next morning feeling a lot calmer. Of course you had been overreacting, it was probably just a monster thing, or a weird miscommunication. After all, the skeleton had been dressed in a three piece suit at a small family diner, so he was probably just weird.

As you went about your morning routine, you were surprised to find a package outside your front door. Weird. You weren't expecting anything. Maybe it was for one of your neighbors?

Curious, you checked the name on the package. Oh, it was for you! You took it inside, practically sprinting to the kitchen to find a knife or a pair of scissors to open it.

As you fumbled with the scissors, you vaguely noted in the back of your mind that there was no postage or address, just your name written in...was that comic sans? Weird. That just made you even more curious!

You finally managed to get the box open and-

Oh my god.

It was a head.

The severed head of your date.

You stumbled backwards, unable to breathe, to think, to scream, anything. There was. A head. On your kitchen table.

You were only able to react when you ran right into someone's chest. A loud scream tore from your throat, only to be cut short by a large hand covering your mouth.

A skeletal hand.

"shhhh, no need for that, doll," a rough voice purred. "s'just a lil gift~"

You managed to look up, your heart sinking when you saw who it was. It was the same skeleton from last night, the one who had been watching you. The red lights in his eyesockets bored into you, strangely heart shaped now.

"don't scream now doll, or i'll have to take...drastic measures." The skeleton's eyes darted to the box on the table. "i just wanna chat."

He finally let go, and you immediately scrambled to get away. "W-who are you? What do you want from me?"

"like i said," he shrugged, way too casual for someone who had just delivered a severed head and broken into your house. "just givin' ya a lil gift. ya deserve to be treated better than that piece of shit could treat ya."

"I'm going to tell the police," you threatened, scrambling for your phone. "I've seen your face, you won't get away with this!"

The skeleton didn't even seem bothered. "well, i guess it pays to have friends in high places. really helps ya get a-head in life. they can't do shit to me."

As he spoke, you started to shake. This guy could do anything he wanted to you, and nobody would care, or even punish him for it! "Please...don't hurt me."

"heh, looks like you'll have to come with me then, y/n." How did he know your name? "you're mine now."

"But...you don't even know me!" you argued. "What do you want from me?"

"heheheh," he laughed even harder. "i know ya, kitten. ya just don't know me." In a blink, he was on you, pinning you to the wall. "the name's butch, but from now on, just call me your husband~"