#(idk in case anyone has that filtered or something)

[nartblartmallcop]

it is time. to do some extremely niche hyperfixation posting

on my main ive posted from time to time about this fanfic i have been obsessed with for close to 10 years, its called waking nightmares, its a tf2 mlp crossover fic (among a few other fandoms) written by @knightmysteriolibray and ive got a lot of art based on the fic that dang it i wanna finally share with the wider public no im not putting this under a read more, if i do youre not gonna click it

definitely one of my favourite scenes in the fic is when RED spy and scout watch the BLU team get dragged off into the horse world. you'd think going to equestria of all places wouldn't be this terrifying XD (also the tiny little hint of dadspy in the scene *chefs kiss*)

another scene recreation of a part i liked but this time with horse boys cause imma be honest, sometimes i do not feel like drawing ponies (you can interpret this as 'ponied up' versions )

of course we also got simple memes based on scenes from the fic

i am completely and utterly obsessed with the dynamic between scout and pinkie pie they are clowning around together to the extreme and its everything to me

similarly brilliant is the medic and twilight dynamic. she starts out so nervous with him and then eventually develops to perfectly counter him when hes at his edgiest, thats no small feat! i am impressed!

but the best dynamic as far as im concerned is soldier and derpy, who are so cute together it gives me cavities and like look, if the stephen universe shoe fits you put it on (used human designs here for similar reasons as with the horseboy designs)

[vivalamusicaltheater]

Tails and sonic are the brothers ever. Vi and jinx arcane are the sisters ever. The todoroki siblings are the siblings ever. Thank you for understanding.

[x-on-the-calendar-business]

exploring panic!'s a fever you can't sweat out/live in denver boxset

a couple of years ago, i managed to snag this for $150, which is still crazy to me, and it's definitely my favorite thing i've ever owned. i feel like i haven't seen many people detailing the contents of it, and since it's such a cool relic, i wanted to share this beauty with everyone.

it comes with the live in denver dvd (left) and a fever you can't sweat out cd (right). the cover art and discs are SO fucking pretty and cool i'm so obsessed with them. i love how it really feeds into that 20s/30s theme they had going on this era.

then it has these 4 photo cards which are all such beautiful photos. the first one especially is one of my all time favorite panic photos. the b&w filter also fits this era so well.

this is a phenakistiscope. you stand in front of a mirror and spin it around while looking through the cracks so it looks like the girl is dancing (instructions are included on the back).

this is a tour program for the live in denver tour. it includes all the tour dates, as well as a guide to their discography. including pictures of the inside would exceed my image limit, so if anyone wants a post detailing this item, i'd be more than happy to post that!

self explanatory but it's a mask reminiscent of the but it's better if you do music video.

there's this SUPER cool poster that i'd love to hang up on my wall but i'm too scared to in case it ruins it. i'm actually so obsessed with this thing.

this is something else i can't include detailed pictures of due to the image limit, but honestly there isn't a lot of lore or super interesting stuff inside of it. however, i'd still be happy to detail it more in another post.

there's this GORGEOUS notebook that i'm also too scared to actually do anything with. it is actually quite a thick notebook. i looove the detail of the "PANIC!" barely visible in the middle of the pages.

now onto my absolute favorite part of this thing:

these cards for each song on fever are SO fucking cool and i love them so much. they're printed on really nice material too; they don't feel cheap and have this grainy feel to them too (idk how else to describe it) and it works so well. luckily i'm able to post individual pictures of each one.

so the back of all of them have the lyrics printed like that but i won't be able to post pictures of that for each one.

they just all encapsulate the theme of each song perfectly while also fitting so well with the aesthetic that they had this era. like my jaw dropped when i saw these for the first time. (side note: i'm not sure why they numbered intermission as number 12 when it should be 8 based on the album. i also don't know why they skipped introduction since they included intermission).

all in all, this is the coolest piece of merch a band has ever put out imo. like no one is doing it like this anymore. i'd been yearning for it since i was 14 so i'm so glad i was able to find it as such a steal of a price. i'll never shut up about owning it and if you're able to get your hands on it i cannot recommend it enough.

[megaderping]

Saw a rather mean post last night, and genuinely, I do not understand how people can play Persona 5 (particularly Royal), and come out thinking Akechi genuinely hates Joker when Morgana outright states for the audience, "You don't really hate Joker, do you?" Akechi laments how they didn't meet a few years earlier and how they could've been "great rivals, perhaps even friends." o_O Like... is this a vanilla thing? I genuinely don't get it. The interrogation room wasn't even his idea (SIU director mentions as much). It's not even about the ship- the game spells out that their bond is more complex, and it just so happens that a lot of people like to explore it as one. Even as platonic, tho, there's a shit ton of depth. Idk, any time I see discourse (especially people making fun of Shuake fans and stuff), I just question how many people actually paid attention to the dialogue. Even the "I hate you speech" reads as him being extremely emotionally constipated and conflicted. Plus, y'know...

Very hateful. Sure. :p Idk, maybe certain playthroughs of the game remove all those moments where the game spells out that they have a special bond (Maruki even states it isn't based on hatred, but that's only if you get his third awakening). Just wish people would get off their high horses, if anything. Sometimes I see people get really condescending about liking Akechi or liking Shuake, and like... just block the tags if you don't like these things instead of posting untagged ship/character bashing and making fun of fans? At least have the decency to tag it as something that Shuake fans can filter because some of those posts are really mean-spirited. :/ You think we haven't heard it all before? I may be new to the fandom, but I have heard that this BS has been going on for years.

I don't think it really matters if there are "healthier" ship options because some of us prefer the messiness, the depth, and complexity. It's not for everyone, and I respect favoring more straightforwardly sweet and wholesome dynamics or wishing your favorite pair got more spotlight. I'm a Riku and Kairi shipper in Kingdom Hearts, for crying out loud. :P I get it, but you're not gonna win anyone over to your side by telling them that [insert ship here] is better. In my case, it makes me more averse because of how deeply their relationship in the confidant, engine room, and third sem touched me and seeing people go "yeah, but you are wrong for feeling that way, THIS is better" is just... yeah. :/ (Also, people gotta learn the difference between hitmen and serial killers. Akechi is the former, which I've ranted about before, but yeah.)

So many fandom problems could be solved if people didn't take the piss out of others for shipping something they don't personally like. x_x; By all means, feel the way you feel, it's okay to not like things.

[onesidedradiostatic]

Ok a mot of Hazbin Hotel characters are unironically pretty or handsome and have great designs... but Alastor still takes the cake for me on the PRETTIEST. He has this natural charm about his design and even tho he has waaay too much red, it works for him in a way that wouldn't work on anyone else. Everything about his design from his ears and the soft looking hair bob to his smile all the way down to the fact he has little hooves on the sole of his feet and the pointy jawline tick some box that says he is pretty.

alastor is like such a weird case for me because I have constantly made fun of him for looking like an edgy oc but at the same time there's certain moments where like. I get it. you know. it's like I'm switching between "edgy oc ass mf" "okay but he does have some hot moments idk", I know I for sure started out not liking his design but I think I just got too used to it after watching him in motion for 8 episodes and rewatching scenes with him. also amir talai's voice acting. it's good. and I love the filter. and also I love his character and when a character is good sometimes their appearance stops mattering to me. but still he does look like an edgy oc get something more than just red and black on you motherfucker, I insult you for the red in my pinned post tags for a reason.

[stormblessed95]

How to search some specific genre fics on ao3 ? Like do we put the genre on Google or should put that on ao3 and we'll get? I mean idk exactly what are the things we should use to describe or find specific genre fics on ao3, idk how it works sorry, so if you can just tell me how to search that wil be helpful..

I'm okay with doing a quick little AO3 tags lesson! I'm on mobile for now though, so that's what you are getting.

So idk if there are better ways, but I normally start with the fandom (unless you are searching more specifically off the bat, but I like browsing and seeing what catches my eye.) So for this example, let's say the MDZS fandom is what we are searching in as that's the fandom sandbox that has been the subject of my hyper fixation for a while now! So either find while already in AO3 or just type "x fandom AO3" into Google too, that would work just fine lol. Than once in the fandom tag, click "filters"

Once in filters, you'll see a bunch of options, the ones you probably want to use first for "genre" type stuff is the relationships, other tags and sort by. Those are the ones I use most anyway

Under relationships click the pairing you want to read about (if you are searching under BTS, you'd click "Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin" if you want Jikook fics) and then you could also type in under other tags which type of story you are looking for. And then I always sort by kudos to get the highest rated fics at the top....

So let's do wangxian as my pairing....

Then I can figure out what type of vibe of story I might want.... Like if I wanted an AU, it would give suggestions as I type too....

Or a fix it....

Or time travel....

Plus the additional tags gives some of the most popular tags in the fandom we are under currently that get used.... You can check off any of those....

You can also check the other filters to narrow things down further, like if you want completed fics only. The type of relationship (m/m, m/f, f/f, etc), the rating (explicit to general), you can also check off if you want to exclude anything. So if you really don't want to read about a certain tag or relationship, exclude it and any fics with that in it won't show up in your search.

So if I just said I want a Wangxian fic that's in a modern university setting... I can put that into the filters, sort by kudos.... And it'll just give me pages of fics I can scroll through till I find a description/summary that appeals to me lol

(and in case anyone was wondering, the first two fics are hilarious and adorable and I plan to read ride a socialist now lol)

If this was NOT helpful, tell me and I'll try to do better. Lmao or if you need help finding something specific let me know and I'll do my best!

Thanks for asking!

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

In an extremely bizarre little thought trail nobody has asked for:

I was trying to go without my glasses for a few hours *tonight* because they’re leaving indents on my face b/c I crushed them tighter when I had my headset on. (Keep with me here) and I think a lot about how they didn’t quite follow through with the whole “yeah Kaz is blind in MGSV btw’ thread all the way to completion as denoted by the script and certain scenes that don’t make sense unless you understand that Kaz can’t see-or rather, can’t see well.

And how it’s easy to interpret as ‘well then he’s not blind’ but like. There are SO many degrees to visual impairment. He’s got *canonical* photo sensitivity and very visible cataracts, so even if he isn’t fully ‘blind’ per se, his vision is still (IMO) seriously compromised.

My visual issues, for instance, deal with the fact that i have a double-astigmatism and I’m significantly near-sighted. If it’s a foot from my face it’s a big wide blur. My light filtering is bad enough that my eye doctor has said contacts wouldn’t work out because I rely on filtering lenses within my glasses to adjust and filter light when I can’t on my own. From the time I wake to the time I sleep, I need glasses or my vision is garbage.

You can be visually impaired and not be outright ‘blind’ but that does not mean that type of impairment is not a genuine or difficult challenge. That impairment itself can also be different depending on one’s environment, how much natural or artificial light is in a room, what type of light, etc.  It’s a type of blindness even if it’s not “world totally dark”. Which is why I do, personally, take some of the scenes, and a bit of the script and personally choose to head-canon him as partially blind to seriously visually impaired or compromised. I’m not what anyone would call ‘blind’ myself, but I do think there’s something to take into consideration vs ‘if he can see at all, then there’s no issues’ b/c Idk, don't’ feel like that’s the case.

[randombook4idk]

Turning off reblogs just in case but I wanna a rant a bit about how I can't really enjoy Jaune's ships because of how much smut is there and am just talking about tumblr here.

Before anyone says, I do block what I don't like but it just can get on my nerves how in other ship tags, you'll find something basic as fanart in the first seconds but in like Lancaster tag I can barely find one fanart without scrolling past the 10th Jaune text-post smut blog (not all are smut I'm aware) and probably it's Tumblr being janky, but after blocking few those blogs, the ship tag becomes empty.

And all this "Jaune is such oblivious cute Nice Guy he isn't aware the girls want to fuck him uwu" "the girls are so down for Jaune they're thirsting for him 24/7" vibes I get from those smut posts from one glance, makes it harder to enjoy the ships.

Like I straight up expect to come across mainly smut when I search up any (m/f) ship with Jaune and idk if it's sad that I wasn't much fazed seeing Penny x Jaune fanfic count lessen when I filtered out the smutty tags or discovering Jaune x Ilia, despite Ilia being canon lesbian (c'mon at least make it wlw)

Look, enjoying smut and having smut for your ships isn't the problem, what I don't like is how smut and Jaune worship/adoration from girls seems to be huge part of Jaune's m/f ships (not in a good way), that I literally have to block blogs just so I wouldn't come across smut.

Like, idk I still enjoy Jaune ships, but the smut-centric and this weird characterization for both Jaune and any girl he's put with at the moment and puts me off. And idk if I'm the only who has this specific problem Jaune's ships.

[azumasoroshi]

part 1 and part 2 (this is part 3 bc i have no self restraint)

ok so after the celty talk earthworm starts talking about how izaya's been having celty talk to both heaven's slave and gather information on amphisbaena lately

and by the time we see him he's actually stopped responding to everything - earthworm even says "looks like your kid sisters are here" izaya doesnt move, nor does he react when she threatens to set him on fire, or even when heaven's slave storms the building

it's just interesting idk. maybe it's showing how things are starting to go how he's predicted, maybe he's just tired of the whole nervous act, maybe he got bored of all the water getting poured on him and fell asleep lmfaoskghkfd

and then we get THIS guy coming in a voice filter and automatically you're like wait maybe THAT's izaya?? it must be izaya right??

and the voice starts talking like hey. what do the leaders of heaven's slave (mr. kumoi) and amphisbaena (lizard) have in common. they both have moles under their eyes teehee! and now for the man under the bag -

AND THIS IS SUCH A GOOD PSYCHE OUT CUZ IT'S LIKE BROOOOOO IF YOU JUST TIED UP YOUR LEADER YOU'RE FUCKED SIX WAYS FROM SUNDAY

earthworm seems to think so too

and so does this guy (i have no clue what his name is sorry)

and finally when the HS guy says "i'm gonna cut the knot" does izaya react (there can't be a switchblade scene without izaya in it. he needs to have the spotlight)

and we hear his voice finally!! and it IS izaya (hiroshi kamiya i could sense you from a mile away)

and yeah what WERE you about to do man?? that was NOT the rope you were aiming for

and the tension here is inSANE like this is so theatrical and dramatic that im convinced izaya was kicking his legs in his bed like a schoolgirl thinking about how funny it was going to be

god he's so hot i mean what no

he rehearsed this in the bathroom mirror for sure he's such a fucking loser

and he's so casual about it too while the other two were having a breakdown :sob: he KNOWS what he was doing

he has no right to look so cute in this shot

and the voice filtered phone guy was this dude?? it's like aoba's older brother izumii right or something i dont remember lmAO

and after effectively scaring the ever-loving shit out of them he's like. didnt i do it for u :3

god he's hilarious i legitimately might watch through all of durarara again just to watch him fuck around and everyone else find out

oh here he fucking goes again he's so cringe

look at his fucking face. he's enjoying himself so much right now this is literally his playground

oh no way he got saika in on this what the hell

izaya: i'm not your enemy!! i'm just here to observe!!

also izaya: it's hammer time izumii

asking a literal love parasite to interrogate someone for you is like the most "do you have any sense of self preservation" thing ever except izaya actually has such a strong sense of self preservation that he's practically untouchable

case in point:

now see he wasn't surprised by this one at all even though he was still in the middle of talking lmfao

i mean haruna is just naturally offputting so i think anyone would always need to have their guard up around her

the clang of the knives is always so satisfying ugh ive watched this like five times

smug ass

tfw a crazy girl just tries to stab you in the eye and this is your response

and we're back with shiki at last!! im sure the information extracted from earthworm was really important or the amphisbaena-heaven's slave connection will be important in future episodes but like

this episode felt like a really self-contained "day in the life of orihara izaya" and i love it actually

izaya, saying this, having just manipulated like three different gangs into doing his bidding:

motherfucker stop being so attractive

i hate his cat smile bro

is this what shizuo feels like

bottom behavior /j

shiki looking at him like. um. what. okay??

his expressions here feel a lot more subdued and less smirky than usual though which would seem to indicate a bit of truth to that?? which is strange but i guess he likes being in cahoots with the mafia because it gives him constant contact with the darkest sides of humanity

this was a very izaya-centric episode i dont know if there's any more like this but i will absolutely watch the shit out of them if there are so please tell me of them

and of course we have to end off with shizaya because yes

holy shit look at the length of izaya's leg though what the hell thats some code geass ass legs

is there any ending where shizuo and izaya arent fighting actually?? i feel like there is but i desperately want there not to be lmfaosdgjsjghsdk

ty for reading my live react to durarara x2 ten episode 8 i guess??? i wasnt planning on doing this but izaya gave me no choice in the matter

[safetycar-restart]

Feel free to delete if this isn’t your thing but how about diapering one of the drivers? Maybe they’re a Little and they’re so young they need it, or maybe it’s part of watersports kink, or maybe they just like being looked after and the security and safety of it? Idk would just love to hear your thoughts on this!

This is one of those things that I've always been uncertain about writing about, not because I dont like it, but because I've always been worried that no one else will like it. But now I've actually gotten two or three requests for it so I'm assuming it's something that at least some of you might be interested in?

I'm gonna write a little bit about a few drivers and we can go from there. I'll also be tagging everything with 🧴 so filter out that tag in your settings if you don't want to see this content :))

CHARLES:

I could see Charles sometimes wanting it in the d/s au? He can spend entire days deep in subspace, just floating and trusting you to look after him and he likes diapers both because of the caring aspect but also because he doesnt have to worry about needing to move suddenly then.

It comes about because he actually has an accident once? Poor little one is deep in subspace and cuddled into your side without a single thought in his head and he's completely relaxed and suddenly he just feels warmth on his legs and realises what he's done.

It sends him straight into subdrop, because all he can think of is that he's been so bad, been the worst ever because he's made a massive mess and it even got on you too.

He actually can only be convinced to spend a day in subspace again when you suggest trying diapers, just as a security. And he just loves it so fucking much? He doesnt often actually use the diaper, but just having it there calms him so much. Over time he starts using it more often though, loving how well looked after he is.

PIERRE:

It's absolute a humiliation thing. That's why pierre loves watersports, so making him use a diaper? He's so turned on that he can barely even let go it's insane. Absolutely a kinky thing.

You make him hold it until he's about to wet himself, and maybe make him beg for the diaper to add humiliation and you both know he loves it.

And of course he then has to grind against the diaper to cum when he's done, just to add to the mess.

GEORGE:

I think it would need it when he's regressed because he just gets so small that he honestly can't do it himself, no way. And that's a big part of why he's so scared to regress around you, because he knows he'll have to wear a diaper or risk an accident.

I could also see him not being able to change himself when he's little and so he ends up with terrible rashes because he has to wait until he's in an adult headspace before he can clean himself up. You hear about that and immediately tell George that you'll do it for him, no problem.

And he just... he's such a happier little then? Everything is so much easier. Before he always tried not to drink anything in case he couldn't hold it. But now he not only has someone to warm his milk for him but he also has someone to change him? Incredible. He loves you so so SO much.

(we can absolutely talk about the others too if anyone has thoughts)

[localplaguenurse]

Ngl I forgot dottore can shapeshift(which is weird because scaramouche lore rarely slip my mind) so anyways now I can officially say dottities are Canon and anyone who says otherwise will have to pry dottities from my cold dead hands as my ghost haunts their very existence.

I’m just saying Dottore would look good in drag also I just remembered what I wanted to say about gingko trees

So the title Gold As The Gingko Trees

Gold- soft precious metal

Ginkgo trees- common symbol of longevity

Ok besides the fact that gingko leaves are golden so ha ha gold as the gingko trees ha ha get it? Gold? Like the leaf?

Next soft and precious metal aka gold, soft and precious should be obvious it’s wifey, but metal? Well that’s obviously their connection to Morax, who is the god of geo, commerce, mora, and ceo of being broke as fuck certified Amber lord with sexy eyes.

Gingko trees. Longevity. Another dot that didn’t connect until yesterday after I got shampoo in my eyes, well there’s two meanings here. First is wifey’s marriage to our ceo of terrible money management, they’ve been married for let’s round it off to 4000 years for simplicity sake and yes yada yada immortals change slow, but seriously this man and his wife are in a committed relationship for 4000 years if that isn’t longevity of a relationship and the love of one person to another then idk what is. Next Wifey’s lifespan, now I don’t remember the specifics because if I go back and read it again now the words are gonna get jumbled up and ao3 doesn’t support my accessibility settings unless I download the fic which btw can I download your fics and put them in my emergency food folder in case ao3 goes down again anyways so I’m going purely off memory here but after Morax did the sexy bite of 87 but it was consensual unlike the bite of 87 and certainly one less death. Wifey now shares the same life span (or in my personal opinion “live longer” as in Morax would erode first before wifey just because he’s so much older and therefore have more bad memories to erode him and maybe one day I’ll tell you more about Morax eroding away but this is not the ask for it rn) oh my god tumblr is lagging if this gets deleted I’ll hurl okay so yeah second meaning of longevity is that wifey gets to live longer

So yeah other than the surface level meaning of the title I also love the more deeper meanings this has and oh my god I have to conclude this before I get forced out of the app and also I went brain to fingers with no filter so excuse any mad ramblings in between

Tldr I love the effort you put into this fic have a fennec

Love is stored in the fennec fox ears.

I love your take on the title a lot! Honestly the only problem is that in canon the two have only been married for 2000 years, but that’s still a long ass time, and let’s be honest, those two would still be hand in hand when the sun explodes if they’re lucky to live that long. You hit the nail on the head with the longevity thing, but it’s also because of this one story I read about six ginkgo trees in Hiroshima. The place had been nuked, but six ginkgo trees had survived and from what I can see, are still going. They can live up to 3000 years. That’s why I had that part at the end where Zhongli tells Childe about how ginkgo trees are a symbol of hope and strength, and how they fit wifey very well. They’ve been through a lot, and they still prospered.

So the thing about wifey’s lifespan is that they’re sharing it with Morax. I didn’t focus too much on what that actually means beyond wifey will live past their human life expectancy so long as Morax is alive. It’s mainly because the specifics weren’t super important at the time, just served as an explanation for why wifey’s still around in canon time, and so I could avoid the whole “immortal outlives lover” trope because I told myself I was gonna end this nicely. I need y’all to know though that I’ve been very tempted to write something for when Zhongli begins to erode, but I have a character sheet to make for a Strahd campaign and a divorce fic chapter to get to. So yeah, maybe I’ll save it for another ask :)

Dottore would look good in drag but do you know who would look great in drag? Pantalone. I take no criticism, argue with the wall, he would be a glamourous bitch.

[unpretty]

Hi, did you read all of omniscient reader's viewpoint? I've hit the transphobia bs (with the pink kids) and i can't tell whether it's gonna keep going (the fact they keep misgendering the character and the whole "he can be rehabilitated" bs is not a good sign), and I'm sorry for asking you but idk anyone else who might have read all of it 😅

Btw i am SO intrigued by astielle, those quotes you asked for were extremely effective. Also i would die for your excel fic. I show it to all my friends. I have romantic feelings for it.

there is a lot of weird gender stuff happening in orv but the final layer of gender weirdness through which all else must be filtered is that, if you are reading a translation from korean into english, the translator picked gendered pronouns based on vibes. even when it made no sense to use gendered pronouns. it often seems like they default to 'he' unless something happens that would make that gay. sometimes they would go back and change the pronouns based on what happened later. i think one time they gave an angel 'she' pronouns just long enough to no-homo before going back to 'he' for what i must assume are also no-homo reasons. their determination to use 'he' pronouns for gods, eldritch horrors, little girls, and anyone kim dokja happened to find confusing was. well. it was something. spoilers after the cut

the stuff with the pink kids is cringe as hell BUT. iirc by the end of that little mini side arc it becomes pretty clear that while the pink kids are basically a video game catfishing gang, kim yongpal wasn't there to catfish or do crimes, she just wanted to fit in and they were the only ones she could fit in with. by her last appearance she's referred to as a woman and the translator gets their shit together wrt pronouns. kim yongpal's last appearance is in chapter 161 out of 551 so my memory isn't GREAT, and i'm pretty sure hsy and kdj continue to call her 'ahjussi'. which sucks but so do they. regardless of whether i'm giving that segment too much leeway due to translator issues, it's thankfully relatively brief.

anyway. this is not the last time gender fuckery is going to come up, but the character who is introduced later on is MUCH more obviously trans. in that case it's sort of a plot point that kdj, despite literally everything that has happened up to that point, cannot stop himself from thinking that he knows what people are really like because he read the novel.

there are other things on account of the constellation who likes to change gender exists, but i don't recall anything else being as egregious as the pink kids

[dracomeir]

This is how Pico learns Boyfriend has more problems than his curse, and what he does to help him realize he’s more than just an incubus. (I consider the following 16+, but idk. If anyone thinks I should put the mature filter like some other posts on RD I've done, please tell me.)

Pico wondered why Boyfriend was cheerful and flirty all the time. It was like the past didn’t affect him at all, and he was somewhat jealous his companion could move on so quickly. After learning about the curse, he began to doubt the incubus had no problems of his own. That doubt turned into certainty after hearing a few off handed lines from him during cases.

“Sometimes those who smile often have the most to hide.”

“That guy didn't seem broken, but most people don’t look the part, so I might be wrong.”

“Surely there’s more to life than pleasing others like this.”

Whenever Boyfriend said things like this, Pico could see them applying to him easily. His friend smiled often, didn’t look broken, and always avoided pleasure as a topic the moment it involved him more than he wanted. The incubus didn’t made any effort to learn more about his curse either. It was like he gave up before even trying.

“Boyfriend, you asked me to trust you with my problems, so please do the same for me."

"Huh?"

"I'm a detective, BF. I can see there's something bothering you."

"I... Is it normal not wanting to do it anymore?"

"Ah. No wonder you always found an excuse to leave whenever someone approaches you with that kind of intent." He took a moment to think. "Is the concept of the ace spectrum not a thing in the underworld?"

"I never heard of that before."

"In that case, I recommend doing some research. It might help you move on from whatever is bothering you." He lit a cigarette. "And to answer your question, feeling that way is perfectly valid. Whatever you end deciding to do, I'll support you the whole way. Just like you've done for me so far."

For the first time in his life, Boyfriend felt seen. His life so far started to make sense once he learned about people who are demisexual. He would eventually talk about his past to Pico, and the ginger reminded him that he's also a saxophone player, an emotional support demon, and most importantly, an amazing companion. Those words caused the incubus to release his bottled up emotions. He was glad Pico was so understanding, and they made the decision to not do anything in bed until he was ready again.

[amysubmits]

So @tinybitsubby had made a list of questions that you and a partner could discuss. # 19 has kind of been stuck in my head. Curious how you would answer it.

19. Are you holding back because you fear judgement?

I agree that's a great question to ponder within D/s!

I struggle with rejection sensitive dysphoria, and I'm usually a really reserved person (though I imagine that may sound crazy to some who follow this blog because I'm not very reserved on here...idk, this is a weird space for me that breaks my norm, haha).

But anyway - I'm pretty reserved with most people and it doesn't even feel like 'holding back' to me, because it doesn't take conscious effort to hold back, it's just my natural state to hold things in.

CD has always been one of the exceptions for me. I am less reserved with him than I am with anyone else, by far. And yet even with him, there have been times where I have realized I've been holding back. On occasion, I've had realizations but was consciously worried about sharing them because of my own insecurities, but later told him. In other cases, I really wasn't even aware that I was holding back until something happened to help me to see it.

When looking back over time, I think I've continued to hold back less and less over the years. Most of it was communication-related. I used to think that saying less was correct or 'good' or whatever, as a sub. CD has always wanted to hear all of my thoughts and feelings and has encouraged me to share more than I thought I needed to, or 'should' in some cases. Over time I've learned that our D/s thrives when I'm really honest and vulnerable...so my voice has continued to grow in our relationship.

But yeah I think where I'm at now is that I don't intentionally/consciously hold back anything but I still have patterns of just naturally not being inclined to express some of my feelings that would be beneficial to express, even if I don't "need" to. For example, I used to only ever express the need for reassurance if I was almost panicking and couldn't manage my anxiety on my own. The last year or so, I've gotten to where I can request reassurance MUCH more freely, and that's really beneficial. Or another example, I used to rarely express my desire for sex with words. In part because it just doesn't come super naturally to me (I'm sure trauma, shame, etc is actually at the root of this but it feels just natural to me because it's all I can remember being), and in part because I thought being 'too' assertive would come off as less submissive, but I've found that it's good for me personally and for our relationship if I express my desire with words more.

And one last thought because I'm incapable of answering an ask without giving 100% of my thoughts... 🤣

I've occasionally seen other people talk about how they think that the ultimate goal of D/s communication should be 100% unfiltered sharing and immediate sharing. That they see that as the most 'honest' and therefore the best. They see waiting to process your thoughts/feelings as holding back'. I am very much for honesty, but I think sometimes our immediate emotional responses to things aren't actually our most accurate feelings.

To give a silly example, if someone accidentally steps on my toe, my first thought might be 'you son of a bitch!" but that doesn't make it my most honest feelings about what happened. My most honest feelings are more like...that really sucked, it hurt like hell, and I wish that didn't happen, but I know it was an accident and I don't have any ill-will towards you for accidentally hurting me. And that kind of a thing can happen with disagreements and other situations, too, of course. So my personal goal isn't to never filter myself at all with CD. I sometimes need time to process my knee-jerk feelings to find my more accurate/honest feelings, and also to find a calm and respectful voice and I value keeping our communication safe and respectful more than being completely unfiltered.

Thanks for the question :)

[yuesya]

yuesya omg new chapter!

and the cliffhanger too!! but anyways, I’ve reread the chapter which made me so excited so I reread the fic and sjshdhdbw I love zenith so much

I think my favourite thing is how you wrote shiki’s interactions with other people:

like nanami, who is the family she has left from before the accident. I love how his reaction to finding out shiki’s OP ocular curse was “does it hurt?” he cares!! about her!! and just her!! the way shiki was nervous to touch nanami at times in case she carves into his lines— the way nanami felt sad that that was something she was acted of. he didn’t really care for the advantages and strength of her abilities, just how it’d hurt her and how she’d use it to protect herself

also ima! like the chapter where shiki wasn’t in her custody, part of me was like :( reading the way you described ima being torn and backtracking. it seemed like she cared for shiki, not just bec of her eyes (but mostly bec of them). though, I doubt she’d have taken care of shiki and come to care for her if shiki didn’t have her new eyes. but also the “come visit” at the end, she wants her to visit to ppl see how shiki is still from the tobuime line shshhd ima is so well fleshed out

and gojo!! I love how, arguably, shiki is gojo’s first family member who isn’t really terrified of his eyes (like she seems aware of how strong they are but, like, in a kinship way) and how gojo might be experiencing his first healthy family relationship. also the way shiki talked abt feeling calmer around gojo bec he had less lines!! and gojo ruffling her hair and defending shiki after he saw her injuries

and kiyohiri being a tsundere!! sharpening his knife pls, also shiki being like “weird, but okay” I can’t wait for future interactions?? like what’s next, hugging under the excuse of weight lifting idk

and shiki!! I love how she’s growing sm: like the interest w sakuna’s fingers having no lines, she’s growing and getting more n more skilled!! i can’t wait to see what she can do in a while— also will shiki be in the same grade as hakari and hoshi, or the second or first years

i think it’d be so funny if she was w the third years because she’d be like “??? where’s this boss music coming from” if she fought w hakari?? or like I think it’d be funny seeing yuuji go?? you’re related to nanami and gojo?? and just overall see her train w maki and the others and stuff!!

also little drabbles you post make me think shiki’s doing to grow up to be like a little shit in a leather jacket, I can’t wait!!

Hi anon and thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on the fic! Glad you've been enjoying the story thus far. :)

For all that Shiki feels most attached to Nanami, he really hasn't gotten too much screen time in the fic so far -mainly because of the circumstances, considering that Shiki was taken in by the Gojo Clan. I'm glad that the feelings do come across clearly in the instances where they have been able to interact, though!

Ima makes Shiki confused. Does the woman care for her? No. Does Ima not care for her? Also no. Just going to bring up here that the fic is narrated from Shiki's POV, too, and so there is a little bit of a filter on how events are being portrayed.

Gojo Satoru and Shiki! They will be good for each other. :)

Kiyohira is pretty fun to write haha, he'll have his moments in the future too.

That question about the years actually had me double-checking Shiki's age! And I'm really glad I suddenly decided to because I discovered a slight age discrepancy in the fic. I've just gone back and changed the instances where it comes up, but Shiki is actually not seven years old, currently. She should be six years old!

Since I haven't really been intentionally hiding it and anyone who's really interested should be able to find out anyways when checking numbers on their own end: Shiki will be in the same year as the third-year students.

:)

[sugar-omi]

hi! I keep seeing stuff about mechats (online, ads, etc) but I have no idea what it is and im kinda scared but mostly intrigued??

LOL I GET IT!!! if it helps, its literally like a dating app. although no one is creepy (to an extent. there are some INTERESTING characters)

n no one can really reject you? like, you may not match once. but you may match again? or you can force it by hitting the "crown" icon and force a match with whoever you see is getting a game update or is new. or you can change your likes!

because like i said, its like a dating app. so if you say pick everything but "spicy" you may not match with characters whose storyline, like glenn, is reallyyyy sexual. but if you do pick it, you'll most likely/definitely will match with them!

again, you can always keep swiping right on em, n you'll match eventually so you don't have to be all sneaky abt choosing preferences n blah blah blah. but yeah, that's how the matching system works to my understanding. but don't quote me!!🙅🙅 bc i'd hate to be wrong n get flack 💀

eta, i'm looking at the wiki n apparently there are some you can't match with??? i've never seen that before. but it says something about how the game hasn't uploaded storylines for them yet. so. just in case you run into them, there's that info apparently.

OH AND THERE'S A WIKI!! IF YOU WANNA SEE WHATSUP W THE CHARACTERS

they have counterparts n stuff, so if someone isn't your type.. see if they have a counterpart. most of them do. the storyline is the same though! can even switch em half way through...

IF YOU DO PLAY. I HIGHLYYY RECCOMMEND ZAOS VALCAN. (/lewis hill /dejerius lane)

he's so sweet. so cute. amazing... it starts off very cute, n youre friends for a bit. you meet on a video game n a lot of his pictures n dates are fantasy like, n he's so romantic n he's just a amazing... i need him to get an update QUICKLY. I MISS MY POOKIE <///3

or if you're a freak, i highly rec glenn hobbs (/niles robinson) for all your freaky, and non-committal (eventually committal) needs

OR IF YOU'RE A REALLL FREAK. AND A DOM. I REC ARCHIBALD (/ravi /thiago) i refuse to elaborate. just know... that's where the master/servant cake is. and i fucking love it.

oh n i think at the beginning, when signing up, you can filter out the 18+ storylines?? so you won't get NSFW? it's been a long time, but i'm looking at the wiki n it just reminded me.

but there's a whole bunch of characters!!! you can check the "matches > storyline" part of the wiki, to see whats up, see what troupes there are that you might like.

i've browsed the mechat reddit sub briefly for information on different things, so idk how it is over there. but that's a thing too..

i swear its a fun app, had me kicking my feet n squealing n blushing n shit. its so cute n so fun n so good ok trust me

ANYWAY IM RAMBLING. I FEEL A BIT CRAZY W ALL THIS YAPPING ABT A FICTIONAL DATING APP... BUT.... ANYWAY. IF I GOT U EXCITED ABT IT, YOURE WELCOME. HAVE FUN.

OR IF YOU, OR ANYONE, HAS ANY MORE QUESTIONS.. IM HAPPY TO ANSWER.