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monstersholygrail · 2 months ago

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I've been working on stuff for uni and I just thought of something-

Yandere!university professor who does his very best for you to be accepted in his master program and his only.

He can't risk having you accepting another master program's offer, right ? I mean, how else is he going to keep an eye on you, make sure you're safe and succeed ?

But let's be honest here. Even if you don't end up passing your exams, it's fine. He's right there to take care of you after all, is he not ?

Yandere!University Professor x GN Reader

It took a great deal of work to manage to make oneself into a highly regarded professor at a prestigious university. If anyone were to even simply bring up Yandere!University Professor’s name, they’d hear that there was no better teacher than him. None more dedicated, caring, patient, understanding, and always incredibly helpful. They’d tell you that it was as though it was his calling. A perfectly gentle hand that naturally guided young and impressionable students on their way to a better future.

It was something he took great pride in. It was almost as though he had a six sense about these sort of things. Managing to spot star students right away and tucking them close under his wing where he could direct and nurture them. Ensuring them that he knew best, they should trust him, let him take care of everything. Then letting them go on their way, even if they were left a little uncertain. He had done his job right.

But all that changed when he first saw you nervously shuffle into his classroom. Apologizing to every student you accidentally bump into. Your mouth closing and parting as you hesitate to ask if anyone had taken this empty seat before promptly rushing over to an empty cluster of chairs. With you he didn’t see some star student who he could mold their future career plans for. No, you gave him a far more delicious challenge. He wouldn’t just mold your future, he’d mold your life. Your life with him.

He isn’t surprised to find you struggling with his course right off the bat. Far more early than is necessary for this type of concern, he comes to you, offering he tutor you. He’s helped so many before you, you can trust him to get you through the class. The best environment to learn is somewhere comfortable, so why not his home, right? Although you’re unsure at first, his assurances break you down. Before you know it you’re going over to his place nearly every night, studying well into the night. It only makes sense for you to stay, he couldn’t have you getting hurt out there.

As the weeks go on of course your fellow classmates begin to whisper. Trading rumors and gossip every time you pass them. You try not to let them get to you. You know nothings going on with your professor, the two of you always just study together.

Sure, he sits a little close to you on the couch, his arm curling around your shoulders and rubbing your back whenever you get an answer right. And yeah, sometimes you feel like you’re being watched by the painting of the man hung in the guest room. Maybe sometimes the two of you tire yourselves out so much studying that you both fall asleep and somehow end up tangled up in each others arms. But it’s all harmless! And he’s helped countless students before you, you have no reason to be suspicious. Not of someone who’s helped your grades go from scraping by to getting high marks.

With exams getting closer and closer you’re only feeling more confident in your abilities to succeed after this class. One evening you express just that to your Professor. Thanking him profusely for all the ways he’s helped you. Building you up so that you can finally start working towards your goals. You even mention to him a couple of masters programs you’re looking into after you finish. Some even as far as the other side of the country. A few of the Professors you’ve spoken with have already encouraged you greatly.

Something dark simmers in his chest at your words. It seems as though you’ve gotten a bit too confident in your abilities. Doing something as silly as going over his head and deciding things about your future that he didn’t agree to. And across the country?! There was no way. He has put in so much time and work with you, shaping you into the smart and accomplished young student you’ve become.

You couldn’t just leave him now. There was still so much work to be done. He wouldn’t be able to look out for you from so far. He couldn’t ensure your success because there was certainly no way you were achieving it on your own. You relied on him, you needed him. And he was going to remind you of that fact.

He made sure to be with you the moment exam scores hit. And when you immediately burst out into tears at the abysmal score painting your screen like a slap in the face of all your hard work, he is right there to comfort you. His arms curling around you in comfort instead of congratulations. The realization makes you sob even harder and his hand is cupping the back of your head and tucking you snugly into his neck. Letting your tears soak through his white button up shirt. When you try and lean back, insisting you’ll dirty his expensive looking shirt, he shushes you and pulls you back in. He couldn’t care less about the mess you make. In fact, he relishes in your tears. And how he’s the only one who could possibly make you feel better right now.

“Don’t mind the scores, darling. There’s always next time,” he murmurs soothingly. You’re so caught up in your grief that you hardly notice the way he pulls you into his lap, securing you safely against his body. “I-I know but the programs!” You wail in response and his hold tightens. Wishing you’d just forget about those blasted opportunities. You didn’t need them. Not when you had him.

He holds you for hours, softly rocking you on the sofa of his living room. Whispering soft praises in your ear while you cry and cry. He could hold you forever like this. So reliant on him. In such need of him. You couldn’t think for yourself, not like this. And right now, to him, you couldn’t be more perfect. He pulls you back and something wicked sparks inside of him at your whine, the way you push back as if wanting to return into his warm neck.

His smirk is clear on his face and he doesn’t bother to hide it. His eyes sparkle up at you in adoration as he brushes your hair away from your eyes. “What if your future wasn’t meant to be academic?” It was so cute the way your brows furrow, your pretty head totally empty in your confusion. “I think all of this happened to lead you back… to me. You needn’t worry about academics. All you need to be is Mine.”

Then he’s tucking you back into his chest before you can fully register what it is he’s planning for you. For your future. Your body tenses in his hold for a moment before you remember this is just what he does. He knows which paths his students should and shouldn’t take. He’s never been wrong about a student before. So how could he possibly be wrong about you?

A million thoughts are battling against each other in your head but you push all of it aside and melt back into his arms. Not wanting to admit the gigantic weight lifting off your shoulders as you start to envision the future your Professor’s molded for you. Suddenly none of it matters. Not the programs, the exams, the schoolwork, and all the stress that comes with it. All that matters is that you’re here with your Professor, just as you’re meant to be.

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14dayswithyou · 4 months ago

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How cutiesai made 14 Days With You

I've received quite a few requests in the past asking how I made 14DWY, what resources I used, how I organised my lore, etc. — so I figured I'd make one big post and share it with everyone else as well! It features a buuunch of helpful stuff I wish I'd known when I first made 14DWY, so hopefully this will help others too!

⚠ This is all copied & pasted from a Discord post I made back in early 2024! I'll also be adding to it over time, so feel free to check back every so often! ^^

What engine do I use?

14DWY uses the Ren'Py engine!

There are two preinstalled games (called "Tutorial" and "The Question") that give you a basic rundown on how to use the program!!

Zeil Learning's video called "Ren'py Tutorial For Beginners" is also a good place to start for those who have no idea where to begin with Ren'Py!

I also really recommend these Ren'Py resources:

Lemma Soft Forums

Ren'Py Discord server

Ren'Py subreddit

Zeil Learnings, ElaineDoesCoding, Visual Novel Design, and Ess Ren'Py Tutorials on YouTube

Searching through the "Ren'Py" tag on itch.io for community-made assets and resources (make sure to give credit if you use someone's asset(s))!

Feniks and Wattson offer some really helpful stuff!!

Not Ren'Py related, but helpful for creating a VN:

Obsidian and Notion for planning and worldbuilding

Visual Studio Code and Atom (comes preinstalled with Ren'Py iirc?) for scripting/coding

Pixabay and Pexels for royalty-free images and stock photos

DOVA-SYNDROME for music

Clip Studio Paint (paid) and Krita (free) for drawing

Toyhou.se to store your littol guys (If you need an invite code, I have over 300 to give away lmao ^^ Send in an ask to @cutiesigh if you'd like one!)

An itch.io account to upload your game for free and share it with others

General tips to keep in mind:

Make games for fun, not for fame. Too often, I see new developers create VNs with "trending tropes" because they see how successful it is and want the same level of popularity. As harsh as it sounds, this only makes your game feel hollow and superficial, and players will notice.

When using Ren'Py, it's better to have multiple .rpy files rather than putting everything into one large file!! It makes organising and finding things easier, and if something gets corrupted... at least you won't lose everything!

Plan everything beforehand, but give yourself room to expand and implement new ideas.

Start small and slowly expand over time. Don't start off with an overly ambitious project, as it can be disheartening when you put all this effort into something just for it not to gain any traction. Also, be grateful for your earliest supporters, as they're the ones who will lift your project off the ground!!

This is a personal preference, but I recommend starting off with itch.io as your main distribution platform. Most storefronts take a cut from your donations and revenue, and sites like Steam require a $100 fee just to publish your game on their platform. Itch is free, and you can even toggle off revenue sharing in your profile settings! (I like to keep it at 10% though, because I'm grateful for everything the site provides ♡)

If you ever need help with Ren'Py, you're always welcome to join the 14DWY Discord server and ping me in the help channel!

#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — shut up sai.#to be tagged later #faq

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beforetimes · 5 months ago

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planning a modern/fame timebomb au in my head where jinx is a celebrity recovering from addiction after a public meltdown who's lost contact with most of the people she knew when pre-breakdown/pre-fame. and in completing her recovery program she reaches out to ekko to offer a direct apology for anything she might have said/might have happened in the depths of her addiction, but doesn't hear back from him.

following this she decides to go out and sign up for a program to help at-risk kids like herself—after reflecting in therapy and realizing that a lot of the issues that lead to her being in such a volatile state of mind was because of the lack of support she had in childhood when dealing with losing her family [haven't planned what would work as a stand-in for the powder factory explosion so lets skirt past that for now] she decides that she wants to be that support for other people that she didn't have herself, after spending about a year trying to get better.

basically, she signs up as a volunteer to this big brother/sister-esque outreach program after a few months of anonymously donating to see if she can help someone in person rather than continuing to isolate herself. which is where she meets isha, who immediately imprints on jinx and insists on following her around. and jinx, who is unused to being at the centre of someone's attention without larger expectations that come with her status as a celebrity attached as caveat, starts relaxing by the very nature of her interactions with isha not being as loaded as others. like, this is just a kid! she doesn't know about jinx's issues or how she freaked out and lost it on stage/on a set/made headlines before disappearing from the public eye and ending up here. all isha sees is someone with cool blue hair and nails she wants to try her hand at painting.

after a few months of building a rapport with isha through this community mentor program, jinx accidentally bumps into the last person she really expected to see here—ekko.

ekko is also very surprised to see her here, because the last time he saw her, she was freaking out on him because he wouldn't enable her self-destructive behaviour, their final and most explosive fight resulting in their subsequent falling out where jinx threw a lot of shit back in his face and he did the same and they decided not to contact each other. well, besides jinx's attempt at an apology, but he didn't reply to that.

he sees her here and they both freeze because, like? what do you even do in this situation? they haven't seen each other in a few years at this point, maybe two or three at the most. enough time that it feels so entirely awkward to even try to act like nothing happened while also knowing that it would be equally nerve-grating to try and acknowledge the history between them.

of course, this stand-off is interrupted by isha, who sees jinx frozen in the hall and immediately stomps over to drag her away because they had been working on a painting together that she's been waiting to finish all week.

and jinx eventually relaxes because ekko doesn't say anything and neither does she, even though she wants to know what he's doing here in the first place. but the day ends without any further interactions between the two.

eventually, after asking around, jinx learns that ekko was the one who set the program up a few years prior, a tentative friend in the program telling her that the community didn't really have a lot of resources on hand and that a lot of the program was personally financed by ekko and he did a lot of work to try and uplift the people and community without demanding financial support in return, like most state-funded programs tend to do.

jinx is just, like, in awe of the fact that this childhood friend grew up to do something so great before being overwhelmed with guilt over the fact that she had been so wrapped up in her own world that she hadn't even noticed.

of course, this doesn't really change things because they're still not talking to each other, but weeks pass and jinx feels like they've gotten into a steady pattern of avoiding each other.

what she doesn't know is that ekko has been subtly watching in on her and isha's little hang-out sessions and is just in awe that this girl who had only a few years ago been so unsure of herself and in so much pain had managed to heal to the point of being able to help someone else and make a good positive impact on isha's life in a program he created.

so, after a while, jinx gets a reply on that email she had sent him nearly a year ago where ekko just asks if she wants to meet for lunch. which she replies to, after a lot of back-and-forth, by saying yes absolutely.

and then the romance unfolds further from there, yadda yadda yadda. haven't decided how this will ultimately end or where vi will play a part or anyone else but i thought that the bare bones concept i had in mind was worth posting here.

in my head maybe ekko's second, scar would be a friend who had seen the majority of the fallout and would be warning him away in the background while ekko was sort of caught up in being both happy that jinx seemed to be doing better while also conflicted on whether or not he wanted to forgive her because their last fight was like, super nasty. awful stuff said

maybe if anyone has ideas for how vi / cait / anyone else could be worked in, you can leave that below?? none of this is super set in stone! just rambling. ^_^

#arcane #arcane fanfiction #arcane fic #arcane headcanon #arcane au #modern au #famous au #jinx #jinx arcane #ekko #ekko arcane #isha #isha arcane #jinx headcanon #ekko headcanon #timebomb #ekko x jinx #milez writing #timebomb au

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freeworldallahmbaclass · 1 month ago

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Building society better

Hey important message I don't know why the people that is controlling the situation around me why they are doing it but they got females fighting around me and badly hurting them and bruising their faces that is women no good stop the violence it is bad enough these women are down on their luck and living in shelters very dangerous shelters they are controlling them making them fight one another , I said no and that is my decree stop the violence and learn to talk things out as friends in peaceful conflict resolution.

I propose for an increase in apartment voucher program for the temporarily homeless in Pittsfield Massachusetts counselor at these homeless shelters should be able give to their clients an apartment voucher or voucher for full payment of their rent for their apartments for singles or homeless families in need of a warm apartment to stay in with the human resources administration compliance of their client to receive the full rent coverage for their apartment . Literacy programs calling for volunteers to teach unemployed Latin , Russian , Asian and other foreign people the English language and how to fill out job applications and do resumes and cover letters and how to conduct themselves on job interviews to help with their social mobility in America .

Thank you Brooklyn New York City Medgar Evers college preparatory school for painting their school in my image and likeness and their painting their door and their family's slogan on the door freeing my soul from the lack of intelligence and gaining to knowledge to grow in my life ❤️ the kids gave me a valentine day gift and I say thank you . Medgar Evers was a great civil rights leader and went through a lot so that they we can have the privileges we have now like I'm doing now so it is long line tradition of great people that fight for the betterment of all people. I thank you and I'm honored and is mindful of that it is a gift 🎁 from the teachers , principal of that school and the kids to me thank you . I want to share this special message with you about my days in school , I used to go to school saying that I don't want to go here meaning school to learn something I hated school when I was younger and was like that I can't use this stuff they teaching in the school in the real world and act tougher than I was because I was scared , insecure and very unsure of myself so that made me not the learn the subjects and not reach out for help to learn my subjects nowadays I would let someone teach me the subject I'm struggling in I actually got teased out of school because of my clothes looks and weight I hated myself but then I hit the shelves in libraries and got my GED I taught myself it through the Pre GED subjects and then the GED books I taught myself reading , comprehension , sequences , stories and understanding the main ideas of the story I taught myself decimals , percentages and fractions multiplying dividing and adding fractions and all math formulas that was my recreation teaching myself stuff was my recreation I think you should finish school I wasn't scared to get help I needed to learn so should you you shouldn't be scared the subjects I was just like learn it because I like winning and being good at whatever I study at . The book reports and school essays formatting structure is skills you can use when you get a job , I definitely didn't like the subject that they picked for mines but the challenge of learning how to write those book reports then school essays is a skill you can take with you and get a good job , you could be a banker , lawyer , doctor , nurse , office administrator , and secretary for somebody important and make $ 100 , 000 dollars a year just from those skills it is learning how to write for those subjects that is important you learn formatting structure to fit yourself after and even though they pick like general knowledge subjects they are important though but it is the skill of learning how to write those book reports and school essays that you get a skill to earn a big salary for yourself in the future so take heed to that while you thinking I don't want to go to school because they don't teach about the things I see every day those skills the formatting and mathematical formulas are for to escape your neighborhood or get educated and fix your communities like Medgar Evers did and I'm honored and proud of you and hope the best for you and your school all I could say is enjoy it learn the subjects that the school teaches you and do your best at your studies and use other ways to learn that teach about the subject just learn your school work and win on all your exams , I love getting my education just general knowledge like about everything and the technical knowledge the know how to do stuff gaining skills and being good at something that what is school is for to me , thank you .

Resume and cover letter workshops should focus on the different types of resumes that can get a person a job , cover letters are just to say hey I got the right qualifications for that job and I did my research on that particular company and I'm interested in working for them and these are the skills soft skills the get along attitude and the aptitude the know how of to get that job done .

Three types of resumes : Functional resumes

Chronological resumes

Functioning and then chronological resumes and build on showing people that never been employed any soft skills and hard skills they may have that is called their transferrable skills that can be used by an employer for their jobs .

Proposing the job safety and job secure act for all employers

Full labor union membership at job signing which means job security at the signing of the job for guaranteed long term full time employment , too many single mothers are afraid of losing their job which is her only stable income and she loses her job she is left to fend for herself without any financial support . I say that companies should want this to law pass into legislation because they get to keep them employees for a long time thus eliminating a high turnover rate now let's think about the young man trying to stay out of trouble he is young ambitious just does not have the opportunity of long term employment he needs to know that he has a job that he can safely call his own as long as he knows how to do that job with efficiency and is effective in carrying out his responsibility and duties , he should not fear losing employment as soon as he get the job he needs a job so that he can start his life and have a family and be able to support his family and love his wife and children and be able to provide a good healthy future for them .With all that is going on in America right now i feel as though the most important issues are being overlooked this month I want to bring up Job safety and job security which is the issue of economic inequality and the income gap between the peoples of America .

Honestly welfare reform is working but it makes you wonder can more be done like for instance you have to congratulate the programs and training programs that put people that is on welfare back to work or in some cases that train them how to work but the problem at most times these jobs are only seasonal temporary jobs , so that means after the assignment the person is back to square one no what is needed is permanent employment to help curb the curse of poverty , recidivism to prison , idleness , alcohol and substance abuse , gaps in employment on resumes , now don't get me wrong these are good programs that help clean up cities like Baltimore , Washington , Chicago , and New York the workers are given not just a job but a sense of purpose and get to commit to doing environmental and community repairs and maintenance to their neighborhoods like for instance cleaning up city shelters and the parks in our inner cities giving workers a chance to not only indulge in building their communities instead of destroying them at the same time it is providing safe and enjoyable places to eat , play and live , these jobs provide the workers with a stable income so that a person starting at ground zero can provide themselves and their families with higher standards of living , better access to housing , education , healthcare , and better chances of gaining employment in the field that they are trained for , the problem is then that most of the time they are no jobs for these workers when they are finished with their assignments what is needed is permanent job training programs or training programs with automatic job placements in permanent jobs . And these are some of the programs that the American government can invest in the government can take job depleted areas and create businesses that put it's citizens back to work permanently , we need environments with access to more resources like jobs with good incomes that can provide good standards of living economic situations that enriches the social and cultural net worth of the people thus creating richer and better healthy habits , attitudes , values , self images and behaviors , goals , dreams , and reality for the people .

These programs can be the paid training before the full and fair employment , thanks to past Presidents we have the job corp program this should be an expansion on that , including people's ages 24 to age 65 it would be good to walk into a Brooklyn or Bronx workforce and see these programs , also free grants for educational programs that not only train a person to work but give them a place where they could learn to work and think for themselves as liberals . Financial counseling and full financial advisor services promised at the time of job signing . Counseling services on 401 K plans retirement and investment retirement accounts income stocks , mutual funds and portfolio diversification .

Full medical coverage insurance and other type of insurances offered through employment .

Insurance coverage :

Health insurance

Automobile insurance to help with payments on car insurance

Education insurance to help with payments on active schools

Life insurance to help with payments on regular life insurance

Home insurance to help with mortgage rent assistance and insurance on a home owners home

Automatic union protection and membership guarding employees benefits at the signing and hiring for employment .

Unions offer protection of employment litigation against work related discrimination but only after a number of months and union payments to employers and labor union that fail to adequately protect the interest of newly hired employees and candidates for that employment .I'm proposing

Unions do their job and be a people that fight for employees rights in wage increase every 2 years at 2 to 3 dollar increase and training full training monthly training helping employees become better trained and working professionals .

Some of my latest accomplishments

Wages increased for your workers and annual increases with that hitting all states recently and all of them soon . It definitely hurts to work all week make your paycheck then be broke the next day or two days because of inadequate pay and that is only for a single person what about people with families and they want a future and their kids to have a future and generations of their own family to have a future I say raised their federal minimum wage the wage increase for each city , town and state and regions of America and other countries , thank goodness for permanent free college release that heavy burden from the parents wallets and pocketbooks thank you so much it is my latest accomplishments getting a free college education for you and your kids . I propose that Minimum based wages and salary get a big raise in all regions cities towns and countries California pay $ 20 to $ 22 dollars an hour New York City $ 15 to 17 $ dollars an hour for base salary how about all cities and regions and places like Atlanta , Texas and Louisiana, Kentucky , Alabama raise their pay standards for its every day worker to that same amount of starting out at $ 22 dollars an hour call it eliminating the working poor and poverty in general and paying them a livable wage , pay your workers generously and they will provide better services for your company and represent your companies better with pride and having customers coming back to their second home your store and establishment . This is very sad and needs attention to this some states where people go to work and provide years of hard work to work and get nothing in return from their employers they give great service and keep their customers coming back and yet the minimum wage been stuck since 2009 while so much states have give their workers a raise that is a shame I hope they catch up me and Governor Andrew Cuomo raised for New York state and city and other cities with my incubator my machine and other cities and states followed suit California pay their workers $ 20 dollars now imagine every state in those regions raise their wages to the same amount at $ 20 dollars an hour in Texas , Atlanta , Louisiana , Tennessee, North Carolina and even South Carolina out there hopefully they carry on from there and all states and cities follow suit and raise their wages and pay their workers their fair wage .

I want to take this opportunity to apologize to a great friend of mines 50 Cent the rapper I'm sorry for the attack from this computer . I was controlled and I'm sorry about that but I got it under control now and everyone should be safe from now on we found the cure for HIV together meaning me and you and I say thank you for picking me to get that accomplishment with , thank you .

There we go again

Another young person getting money , he get his life and a job with a good base salary off of me and now he could take care of his wife and kids he gets a family and he is blood they said , thanks Allen King 👑 Arthur King 👑 Charles I'm the new monarch the way things is better now in this world and Harry all at the same time King 👑 Arthur . Police is mad I exposed them they use voodoo on people to turn them into active shooters so they could hurt them or arrest them while the Governor and police commissioner do nothing about it well they can stop harassing me .

I'm with Keanu Reeves about everything I'm him Mark Wahlberg I'm him Robert Downey Jr Iron man I'm him and am everything actors and celebrities gave me is mines and me and 50 Cent the rapper found the cure for HIV together stop disrespecting him thanks for picking me for our accomplishment we got a statue in Harlem New York City now .

That US versus Allen Henry is dead their is no we me and you and us the collective no thank you no mock trials and mocking courtrooms drama I'm West Indian and stick to my own kind like in Texas Mexicans hang with Mexicans White people stick with White people and African Americans got their own culture they not my culture and people they very much welcome for my help I hope a good future for them and their kids I'm West Indian and like being in a truck with my big brother the Rasta and we going to home depot we stick to our own people our own kind and follow our own culture sorry about that but enjoy my help and get your life together and no thank you to racism against me and your coalition against me while I'm the one helping you and feeding you and kids .

No to police I don't got nothing to do with you they continuously spray poison in kids and babies face murdering their future .

John Maxwell the famous self help and leadership author I love you my mentor friend and father figure thanks for all your help I just read about Mark in the book I got from the Saint Stephens church and I love your books and your article , I'm going to read it today .

Thank you Joel Osteen for your new books I also love Excellence and yes only good vibes . I'm still suffering from these people with voodoo attaching themselves to me I wish they would go away along with their voodoo everything is fixed though with the people from my past and that is what is important they are doing great they are selling music doing good and enjoying their families and lives .

Announcement my last post

I'm closing the helping part of my mobile incubator and mostly keeping it now for my self helping and developing myself through forming my own small business and my own business education .

In closing

Like I said I'm King 👑 Arthur and Joyce Meyer the famous lady preacher is my mom best friend and she is my guide my Excalibur . I'm the real Arthur King 👑 Arthur from the story book legend when we was kids with Camelot I'm the new one the new version of that story in real live version and got my rock in front of the Berkshire Library in Pittsfield Massachusetts and Joyce Meyer is my Excalibur problem I'm also that King from Lord of the rings twin towers with that evil person in my ear 24 / 7 168 hours of the week trying to drive me insane senile no thank you to people that use witchcraft and evil people , but I'm proud of myself through all that hatred I became King 👑 King Arthur and now Joyce Meyer is my Excalibur .

youtube

I won't be posting anymore on this page .

#Youtube

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anonymusbosch · 5 days ago

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on wanting to do a million things

prompted by @bloodshack 's

i wanna learn SQL but i wanna learn haskell but i wanna learn statistics but i wanna start a degree in macroeconomics also sociology also library science but i wanna learn norwegian but i wanna learn mandarin but i wanna paint but i wanna do pottery but i wanna get better at woodworking but i wanna get better at cooking but i wanna bake one of those cakes that's just 11 crepes stacked on top of each other but i wanna watch more movies but i wanna listen to more podcast episodes but i need to rest but i need to exercise but i wanna play with my dog but i wanna go shopping but i need to go grocery shopping but i need to do the dishes but i need to do laundry but i need to buy a new x y and z but i need to save money but i wanna give all my money away to people who need it more but i wanna pivot my career to book editing but to do that i have to read more and i wanna read more nonfiction but i wanna read more novels but i wanna get better at meditating but i wanna volunteer but i wanna plan a party but i wanna go to law school. but what im gonna do is watch a dumbass youtube video and go to bed

I think I've been doing slightly better this year about Actually Doing Things. not great! but I do a lot and I've been "prototyping" ways to get closer to doing as much as is possible. and if I actually talk about it it's a bunch of very obvious statements but I'll try to make them a little more concrete

rule number one: experiment on yourself

there's no one approach that's right for everyone and there's not even one approach for me that works at all times. try things out. see what works. pay attention to what doesn't. try something else.

rule number two: ask what's stopping you and then take it seriously

example: I often want to do Everything in the evening at like 2 PM, but then get home and am tempted sorely by the couch, and then get stuck inertia'd and not doing much but being tired and kind of bored. why?

if I don't have plans, it's easy to leave work later than planned and hard to make myself do something by a specific time

i'm generally tiredish after work. 4 out of 5 times, that'll go away if I actually start Doing Something, but 1 out of 5 it's real and I will go hardcore sleepmode at 8 PM and just be Done

i use up a ton of my program management/executive function/Deciding Things brain at work and usually find it noticeably harder to string together "want to do Thing > make list of Things > decide on a Thing > do Thing" after I'm home. Even if I have a list of Things to Do, how does one decide! how does one start! and god forbid there's a Necessary thing. then it's all downhill

therefore, mitigations: have concrete time-specific plans in advance.

if I have an art class at 6:00 PM I need to leave work by 5:15 and NO LATER and I can't get sucked into "oh 10 more minutes to finish this" *one hour later*

that also means I have to have a fridge or freezer dinner ready and can't spend 45 minutes cooking "fuck it, what the hell did I put in the fridge, why don't we have soy sauce" evil meal that is not good

plans with friends: dinner! art night! music night! repair-your-clothes night! seeing a show! occasionally, Accountability Time where a friend comes over for We Are Doing Tasks with tea and snacks etc.

for some reason I'm way better about Actually Doing Things when the plan exists already. magically I overcome couch inertia even though I am the same amount of tired! and while I never learn the ability to decouch without plans I at least learn to make them

still working on:

a "prototype" for maybe next month is a weeklyish Study Session for a thing I want to learn about. I want to somehow make it employer-proof (I am accountable to some entity to being at place X at time Y) and haven't figured out a good way. Maybe I can leverage that the local library is open til 8 on wednesdays and somehow make it a Thing? maybe I'll try it!

oh god oh fuck the thing about plans is that if you want to have them you need to make them. christ. a lot of the time I can cover this with some combo of weekend planning + recurring events (things like weekly friend dinner/weekly class) + having cool friends who reach out proactively but it still requires active planning and it can fall thru the cracks

rule three: cool friends

they can take you to things

they can remind you that you can do whatever the fuck you please

i have a friend who is somehow Always doing cool classes and learning shit. and this reminds me that I can ... do that. and sometimes I do

you can take them to things!!

rule four: try to kill the anon hate in your head

obv this depends on your circumstance but sometimes it's worth it to me to look at constraints that "feel real" and check whether they're an active choice I made thoughtfully or, like, the specters of people I don't know judging my choices

time and money are obvious ones. recently was gently nudged towards looking at whether i could give myself more time to Do Things by cooking less. imaginary specters of judgmental twitterites: "it's illegal to spend money. if you get takeout you're the first up against the wall when the revoution comes. make all your lunches and dinners and hoard the money for Later. for Something. how dare you get lunch at the store. you bourgeois hoe. taking charity donations from the mouths of the poor cause you don't have your life together enough to cook artisanal bespoke dinners every night. fuck you." and obviously eating takeout 24/7 is not the answer, but realizing I was not making an active choice helped me try making the active choice instead. "how much do I actually want to balance cost, time, tastiness, and wastefulness of my food, given my amount of free time and my salary and the tradeoff against doing something else? can I approach it differently to do more quick cheap food + some takeout?" -> current prototype: substitute in 1 takeout dinner or restaurant-with-friends a week, 1 frozen type dinner, and then batch cook or sandwiches lunches w/ "permission" to get fast lunch at the store. we'll see how it goes!

i am really really bad at this and find it helpful to talk to other people who can help point out when I'm being haunted by ghosts about it.

rule five: what would it take? what's the next step?

this one i give a lot of credit to @adiantum-sporophyte in particular for, especially for prompting me with questions when I muse about the million-ideal-lives on car rides. what would it look like to do xyz? what's something I could do right now to move in that direction? what's the obstacle? like, actually ask the question and think through it. with a person talking to you! damn! maybe the obstacle to x is that I don't know if I'll like it or if I just like the idea of it. and I don't want to commit to x without knowing. Okay, so maybe an approach would be to find someone who does x and talk to them about how their life is, or maybe it's "spend 15 minutes looking up intro-to-x near me", or "actively schedule 1 instance of x", or something like that. Or maybe it's that I don't know what it takes to do x. Okay, how about on Tues after dinner Adiantum fixes a sweater at my apartment while I spend 20 min looking at prereqs for x. like, it's so basic to say "to do a thing, you could try figuring out how to do it" but I think the important thing here is the feedback/prompting to even recognize "hey, step back, if you don't know the next step then figuring out the next step is the next step"

rule six: habits

prototyping: exercise

I do a lot better when I exercise in the mornings. I do a lot better when I do PT exercises regularly. For a while I was doing PT with friend in the morning every morning before work (accountability! a friendly face to make it more pleasant!) but that didn't really solve - it's not the kind of exercise that makes me feel awake/active, it's like dumb little foot botherings. but: having the habit of morning exercise made it easier to swap out 2 of the 5 days for more intense exercise, and then to swap those 2 for a different more intense exercise when I needed a break. it's easier to build a low-effort version of the habit and then work in the higher-effort one than to just Decide to be the kind of person who gets up at ass o clock to do cardio or whatever

rule seven: set up the structure of your life to make it easy

this is also a "duh" thing but like. on so many levels it comes down to structure your life to make the choice more doable. this can be something like "i structure my life to make vegetarian cooking baseline and vegan cooking the majority by stocking the pantry with staples and spices from cuisines that work well that way" or "i chose an apartment that lets me commute by bike" or "i have my camping gear put away in a fashion that makes it easier to gather frequently and lowers the barrier to trips" or "i keep physical books around to prompt myself to read xyz" to "i don't use instagram or twitter or snapchat or facebook" to . idk.

and in terms of charitable giving: similar deal. I have an explicit budget at the beginning of the year (~10% of my before-tax income), I know in advance what charities I give to, and I know what timing I will use (basically, alerts for donation matching around specific fundraising times). Anything outside the Plan comes from my discretionary budget/fun money. That makes it less of a mental load (the choice is already made; I don't grapple with every donation request or every bleeding-heart trap because I have a very solid anchor on "I give to xyz, the money's set aside") and it's armor against impulsive-but-not-useful scrupulosity. I structure the rest of my spending/life to prioritize a set amount and it makes it easier to follow through

rule eight: if you can do it at work a tiny bit that counts for real life

(infrequently used)

"hi mr. manager I think it would be great if I could use enough SQL to make basic queries in the database so we don't have to go through the software team for common/basic questions. I'd like to take 1 hr on Friday to go through some basic tutorials and then 1 hr with Pat on Monday so he can walk me through an intro for our specific use case. I estimate this will help save the team a couple hours a week of waiting for answers from the other team." and then you have enough of a handle with baby's first SQL that you can add little bits and bobs as you exercise it. this is responsible for a medium amount of my knowledge of python and all 3 brain cells worth of SQL.

rule nine: life is an optimization problem

not in, like, "you need to optimize your skincare and career and exercise and social life and have everything all at once" that's not what optimization means. optimization is like, maximize something with respect to a set of constraints. i explicitly Do Not do skincare beyond "wash face" and "sunscreen" bc I want to optimize my life for like looking at weird plants in the mountains. explicitly choosing to put time and money elsewhere! can't have it all all at once. so fuck them pores. who give a shit. yeah i ate a lot of protein shakes instead of home cooked breakfasts this week bc i was prioritizing morning exercise. im looking at this beautiful bug and it doesn't know what fashion is or what my resume looks like. im holding a lizard. im not spending time on picking cool clothes or whatever bc i spent that time looking up lizard hotspots on purpose.

that's really long and probably mostly, like, not surprising? but i keep benefiting from ppl being like "hey have you considered Obvious Thing" framed very gently

#long post

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erinwantstowrite · 8 months ago

Note

opinions on ai?

This is the perfect time to share something I wrote a few months ago when I was upset about it:

AI is the bane of my existence and I hate it so much. Not only because of the environmental impact that it has, but because of how it gives us absolutely nothing of value in creative spaces and is actually a detriment to our future, rather than being "innovative" like companies want us to believe.

If you're using AI to write notes for you, or to answer questions, to write your essays and your discussion posts, you are hurting yourself. But eventually you will hurt others with your willing ignorance. You are not learning, you are not taking the time to push yourself to new bounds. You are not absorbing the information you need, and for why? Because it's hard? Life is hard. Learning is hard. If learning was easy, you wouldn't be learning anything at all. And one day when you need to use these tools you put down and gave to a program in order to do your job, you are going to get someone hurt in some way. If you're going into teaching and you didn't bother to learn about childhood development because you let an AI take your notes because you couldn't be half-assed to sit through an hour long lecture, you will fail every student that comes your way. If you're an engineer and you had AI do the math for you, something that you make will break and it could kill someone. Because the AI can not even count how many times the letter 'r' is in strawberry, but you're trusting it to make bridges or design buildings?

And in a creative sense, you are not an artist if you use AI. I will scream it from the rooftops if I have to.

You are not an artist if you use AI.

Because to be an artist is to put your very soul into what you create. And an AI has no soul. To be an artist is to lay yourself bare for people to witness and interpret, and it's scary but it's freeing. To be an artist is to make a message with your art, to have people a thousand years from now sit in a museum and feel connected to who you were so far in the past. To think that humanity may be different but we are also inherently the same. To be an artist is to despair over the process of creating your art because it's difficult, and time consuming, and damn does it drive you crazy. But then you get that end result and you realize you learned something about yourself, you got better at something that brings you joy, you created and now you see what you are capable of, and what you will be capable of in the future. To be an artist is to connect with someone because of what you made, and that someone includes yourself.

We keep telling young artists that they need to be better now, they need to quit if they aren't good at it on the first try. We keep acting like we didn't start from somewhere ourselves, like we were born with the fine motor skills and the talent needed to create. It's because our attention spans can't handle over 20 seconds and we need multiple videos playing to drown out our own thoughts. We have to look at comment sections to see the court of public opinion before we make a judgement ourselves. If anything is out of the ordinary or doesn't look the way we expect or want, it must be shamed. And this existence is exhausting because at the end of the day, we have done nothing of value. When coming across a video of a young artist who took the time out of their day to create, we need to encourage them to continue going, tell them that their work is worthy. Because it is. It is worthy because they made it. If we shoot them down before they can go anywhere, we've just killed an artist that could have painted the next Starry Night, or created a sculpture that millions of people would try to visit. We've shot down someone who could teach others how to create one day in their future. We shot them down and killed their inspiration and motivation, and they might turn to someone else to do it for them because they will believe they are not worthy enough or talented enough to make it.

When I was still in school, my favorite part of the year was seeing the projects put up on the wall. The silly displays our teachers put up to show a holiday with slightly wonky paper snowflakes, the posters that the art students made with "too many lightning bolts around the guitar", the signs for school dances, the yearbooks that students spent all year making, the English class posters that depicted scenes from what they were reading and they were made with stick figures or they had someone draw out butterflies. I loved seeing the decorations for Homecoming Week, loved looking ta the booths that everyone made for our career and science fairs. I liked when we put on talent shows still, when we did pep rallies and fashion shows and we saw everyone get together to have fun and not care if it was "perfect." No one there was a professional artist, not yet, but that didn't make it any less entertaining or creative.

We dance because we want to feel how our bodies move and express ourselves in ways words cannot. We paint and we draw and make pottery and quilts and pictures because at one point, all we had were cave paintings of our hands, and we still look at them with reverence for where we started. We sing and we drum and we laugh because music is a universal language that anyone can understand, and isn't that breathtaking? We write so that people in the future can pour themselves over our words and learn from us, so that kids can hide their books underneath their covers with a little flashlight when their parents put them to bed hours ago but they just can't put our story down they have to know what comes next! We cook for our loved ones and have family recipes that mean we've been tasting the same food that our family we never got to meet were eating too.

We create because humans are meant to create. We put our love into the process, we put our dreams and our hopes and our hard earned lessons into these creations.

AI will never have that. AI has none of the process, and therefore, it is not art. We can gripe about how art has different meanings all we want, we can shout that art is only art if it invokes an opinion or a thought, but that is not what makes art. Because there is still effort put into placing a shoe on a pedestal, or painting a yellow square, or painting a mural on a wall, or writing poetry in a tiny notebook at school, or melting crayons together, or anything that requires you putting it together. If AI is doing all the work for you, then you've accomplished nothing. And you stole from the people that actually did accomplish something. You stole not only their effort, but you stole their process, their feelings, their hope and their dreams and their ideas of the future.

AI is nothing and will ultimately become obsolete. Because humans will not stop creating just because companies are pushing for us to stop and hand it over to them. They want us to stop creating, they want us to pay them for it, they want us to put blind trust into what they're doing, they want us to forget that they are stealing from us. I will not forget. I will never forget. Because I was born to sing and dance and write and draw and cook, and when I die, my body will go right back to the Earth and perhaps flowers will grow around my grave. I will still be creating even then. And even if AI is still around and still trying to steal from us, I will die knowing that it could never do the same.

#ai #ai is a plague #ai is not art #ai is theft #ai is stupid #ai will never be worth it #ban ai art #ban ai #fuck ai #erinwantstowrite #writing #i want to die knowing my art made an impact #they want to take that art and make it a profit #that is the difference between us

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osohchoso · 5 months ago

Text

Shattered Ice

Chapter One- The Morning After

Hockey player!Choso x F!Reader, ex bf!Toji x F!Reader

Previous | Chapter index | Class list | Next

Content: alcohol, vomiting, embarrassment, drunk antics, slight NSFW, cheating MDNI

Harsh rays of sunlight trickle between the blinds and assault your eyelids. Reluctantly, you open them. A low groan escapes you as the bright light causes your head to pound. Trying to ignore the pain, you focus on the room and the details of it. The walls are mostly plain, painted a dark gray. Minimal decorations scattered across the room and a few band posters hung on the wall, though your eyes couldn't focus enough to read which bands they were. A dark oak desk sits in the corner, a few textbooks and a laptop on top.

This bedroom feels foreign to you. It’s not Shoko or Utahime’s, you have spent enough time in your roommates' beds studying and watching movies that you would recognize it instantly. It isn't your best friend Satoru’s either, his is always a chaotic mess. Another detail catches your eye, a hockey stick leaning up against the closet door and next to it is a pile of clothing you recognize as your own. The only friend you have on the hockey team is Suguru, and you would never sleep with your best friend's boyfriend. That's when the panic sets in, whose bed are you in? How did you get here?

You attempt to turn your head to glance at your sleeping partner who you can hear softly snoring beside you, but the sudden motion makes you dizzy. Stomach doing flips in protest. Quickly closing your eyes, you take a few deep breaths to ground yourself. Inhale and exhale until you are convinced the vomit would stay down. With eyes still closed, you tried to rack your brain for how you got in this scenario.

There are three things your college, Kaisen University, is known for. One, the hockey team. The hockey players here are some of the best in the area, many leaving here and going to the big league. You don’t really care too much for sports yourself, but hockey always had a special spot in your heart. You grew up in a family who loved the sport always attending every local game or hosting a watch party with family friends. Some of your favorite memories are when you begged your dad to teach you to ice skate, convinced you would be a hockey player yourself one day to make him proud. This didn’t come true, as you may hold the title for world's worst skater. Even when you miss your family miles away back home, you feel a little better knowing they are watching the same game as you.

Plus you hated football, and would rather die than attend a university known for their football team.

Two, the Animal Science program. You have always loved working with animals and chose to pursue a career as a veterinary technician. The program here offers many hands-on learning experiences and even pairs each student with multiple internships throughout the years. During highschool, you received a full ride scholarship to make your dreams reality, which made choosing Kaisen University an easy choice.

Three, the parties. The parties here are unlike any other university. Every weekend there is always at least one party, celebrating the most stupid things. If there wasn't a reason to party, someone would find one. Celebrating made up holidays like ‘national drink beer day’.

You think a little harder, brain pounding against your skull, trying to remember the reason for last night’s party. The puzzle pieces start to connect, your eyes flinging open once again. The first game of the season. Team captain Sukuna always throws a rager to kick off the start of hockey season. Friday they played their first game of the fall, claiming an easy win. The next night, Sukuna and the team were planning a wild party to celebrate their victory, inviting what felt like the whole university. The captain rents a house with several of his teammates only 20 minutes from campus. The large house and spacious yard make for an excellent party venue, and the neighbors never complain when it gets too loud. Though this is your first time coming to one of his, you refused to attend Sukuna’s parties before because he insisted everyone calls this place his ‘domain’. What an arrogant ass.

If you were completely honest with yourself, you didn’t feel like partying at all last night. The weekend prior, you broke up with your boyfriend of a year. The first few days were spent in a constant back and forth of rage and sadness. Satoru and Suguru tried to cheer you up with a sleepover, burying yourself in chocolate ice cream, but that only made you feel worse. Having to watch two people so in love felt like rubbing salt in a fresh open wound. The rest of the week you spent in your bed, only leaving for classes and a shower here and there. You had every intention to spend Saturday night rotting in bed, binging whatever reality TV show you could find. Unfortunately for you, Shoko and Utahime refused to let you miss Sukuna’s first big party of the year. You agreed reluctantly, deciding to drown your problems with alcohol and dancing.

Finding yourself feeling this awful after a Saturday night isn’t unheard of, finding yourself in a stranger's bed is the concerning part. You, Shoko and Utahime always manage to stumble your way home to the dorms no matter where you end up. Never once, in your three years of college, did you end up sleeping over. Your thoughts begin to race on who you will find sleeping next to you or what could have possibly gone on between the two of you. Judging from the hockey stick, you can only assume you are still at the house and slept with one of the hockey players. Hopefully not with Sukuna, you gag at the thought of that man. Whispering a silent prayer as you slowly turn your head over on the pillow to catch a glimpse of the other body in bed.

He lays on his stomach, head facing away from you, dark messy hair spilling over the pillow. His hair is slightly long, but nowhere near as long as Suguru's so that's one person off the list(though he was never really on that list). Sukuna has short cropped pink hair, so thank god that's another off the list of possibilities. The names of the other teammates escape you, really this could be any one of the guys. You silently wish you paid more attention when Suguru would talk about them, maybe then you could have placed a name to this body. You watch the rise and fall of the man's sleeping shirtless form, noting how well sculpted his back muscles are. He kind of reminded you of him , his body was also built by the gods.

The breakup is still fresh in your mind, only a week ago now. He went to a rival school, played for the rival team. You and Gojo went to one of the away games last year to support Suguru, unfortunately they lost to the second best team in the league. But that night you met him. He was an absolute power house on the ice, and later that night you found out he was a power house between the sheets too. The very same night you met him, he had you screaming out Toji in his bedroom.

Thinking back, he was really kinda a loser. He was a few years older than you but still in his senior year, and has been in his senior year for a while. He keeps failing one class or another and having to retake them. It was amazing that his hockey team let him play despite his bad grades. They likely pulled a few strings to keep him around considering how great he plays. You don't know how but you feel madly in love with him. Even with him being broke, with no goals, and your family hating him. He was a walking red flag, and you loved that.

The more you got to know him the more you liked him. Running off on exciting adventures together. The occasional date night out (that you had to pay for). You got to see his softer side, the part you know he only let you see. Every night spent together always ended up tangled between the sheets in one of your beds. No one could please you like he could.

Long distance can be hard though. His school was an hour from yours, you barely had time to see each other. Especially when he had hockey practice and you being so dedicated to your studies. You started to feel a strain on your relationship, like he was pulling away from you. So you decided to pay him a surprise visit, which was both a good and a bad idea now that you think about it.

You planned to stay the whole weekend, but in reality you were there barely an hour. The first half was spent fucking like wild animals, starved for eachother’s touch. As he climaxed, cock still throbbing inside you, he moaned out the name of another woman.

“Are you fucking shitting me!?” you pushed yourself abruptly off of him. Hurried to change and leave immediately. He tried to stop you, to talk you out of it, get you to stay. This snowballed into 30 minutes of yelling back and forth. The fight didn't end until a knock on the door interrupted you, and the girl who he moaned for was on the other side.“We are done, Toji!” you stormed out, slamming the door behind you.

Never in your life has a man cheated on you. A whole year of your life, wasted on him. You felt humiliated. The past week you laid around feeling sorry for yourself, and now the first chance you get you're in a stranger's bed? You sigh and fumble around looking for your phone, needing to contact Shoko or Utahime for help. You find it on the floor next to the bed. Bending over to reach for it, fighting the queasiness you feel as you hang off the bed to pick it up. 13% battery, it never got plugged in overnight.

You: Hello??? Did you leave me?

You send the text to the group chat with your roommates, hoping one of them will be awake. Unlikely as it's barely 8am on a hungover Sunday morning. They probably feel just as awful as you do right now. You wait for their response, feeling stiff as a board in this stranger's bed. You need answers, and a thought crosses your mind to just wake the person sleeping next to you. Looking over, noticing how peaceful they look, you decide to let him rest just a little bit longer.

Your friends are taking their sweet time to reply, and your curiosity is getting to you. You open up Snapchat on your phone, maybe you can piece some answers together. You click through the pictures and videos posted on your story. The first few are just some pictures of you and your roommates, showing off your outfits for the night. You arrived in a cute black miniskirt and a crop top with your college's name on it. Those same clothes now sit in the corner of the room, traded for a giant black t-shirt on your body and loose sweatpants on your legs.

You snap a quick picture of yourself right now. Disheveled(though surprised that your face is clean of any makeup), a look of pain on your face. Making sure to angle the camera so the sleeping stranger is in the background. You circle him and type out who is this? Sending the image to Shoko, Utahime and Satoru.

Returning back to your snap story, you can tell the moment you blacked out. Random blurry pictures, captioned in all caps, spouting absolute gibberish. One is a picture of your middle finger along with the middle finger of a male hand with black nail polish. You can’t recall who’s hand this was. FUCK YOU TOJI , it’s captioned. And that was uploaded 5 times in a row. You quickly deleted all of these from your story, hoping to save you some embarrassment like half the school didn't already see it.

The last thing you have uploaded is a picture of Shoko, passed out on a couch clutching a beer can. Her face is covered in sharpie, drawings decorate every inch of her skin. You giggle and decide not to delete this one, even though you're sure she's going to kill you for this.

Your Snapchat wasn't much help in your quest for information, so you move on to looking through other’s stories. Shoko’s was also no help. Just a few cute pictures of the three of you and a picture of a cigarette with some moody quote. Utahime only has a video of you drawing on Shoko's face, both of you laughing so loud you're unsure how she stayed asleep. It wasn't until you looked through Satoru's story that you got some answers.

After going through what felt like a thousand pictures of him and Suguru, you see yourself. There you are, doing a keg stand. Your legs being held up by a muscular man with pigtails. You can't think of his name, but you know he is the prized goalie of Kaisen University. You have passed by him only a handful of times, never once spoken to him. Suguru mentioned he is most likely going pro after graduation. He always came off as quiet, an awkward goth type, but on the ice he was something else.

You tap the screen for the next thing. A video of you dancing wildly on the kitchen island. You cringe as you watch, your movements uncoordinated as arms flail around. Would you even call this dancing? Pigtails holds his hand up to you, you're sure he was trying to get you off the table before you fell and broke your neck. Though what happens next surprises you. Instead of safely taking his hand to get down, you leap at him. Thankfully, he catches you in his strong arms easily and lowers you down gently.

The next video is the worst one yet. You and the goalie making out, your hands gripped around his head, tongue forcing itself in his mouth. You were positive that you gave him the worst kiss of his life, or so you thought. The way his hands hold you against his body says differently. The video text said in bright pink what is bestie doing?? Why would Satoru even post this?

“I'm going to kill him” you groan, bringing your hands up to your face. Your palms heating up as color unfolds on your face, a nice shade of embarrassment red. The sheets of the bed crinkle and you look over and watch as your sleeping partner turns to face you. The first thing you recognize is the tattooed line over his nose. The same tattoo you know the pigtail goalie has, confirming to you that this is in fact his bed you're sharing. The second thing you notice are his large hands, chipped black nail polish on the tips. Lastly, you watch as his eyelids open. Dark brown irises meet you, flecks of gold dance where the sun hits it. He blinks a few times to adjust to the bright light. Dark purple circles surround his eyelids, like he hasn't slept in a year. His natural beauty leaves you speechless as you look into his eyes.

“You're awake” his deep raspy voice retorts, no emotion reflected in the words. You say nothing but nod. He sits up in the bed, back leaning against the old headboard, he rubs the corner of his eyes. You glance down at your phone to see if there was a message from any of your friends, but your heart drops as you see the black screen…dead. Weakly, you push yourself up to sit against the headboard like he is.

“How do you feel?” he asks suddenly, his burning gaze fixed on you.

“Awful” you admit truthfully. You see the hint of a small smirk on his lips before it fades just as quickly.

“I’m not surprised.” he pinches the skin between where his eyebrows meet. “I don't feel great either…probably nowhere near you though.” he grumbles. You suddenly feel your throat growing hotter and hotter. The fact that your memory is missing so many details from last night, you don't even know if you hooked up with him.

“Hey..” you whisper, not even sure if he heard you until his eye catches yours. “Last night…did we..” you trail off as you feel bile creeping up your throat, your eyes widen as you look around the room in a panic. Unsure of where the bathroom even is and if you would make it in time. The man next to you notices your panic, reaching over the side of the bed and producing a small metal waste bin. He places it in your lap and you instantly vomit the contents of your stomach, which looks to just be stomach acid and water at this point. Your retching echos off the walls of the metal can, tears stream from the corner of your eyes. The whole time, your sleepy partner rubs your back with a firm hand. Saying your name softly.

“I'm sorry…” you whisper, head still hanging into the metal can. “It’s not that you're not attractive, because you are. I-”

“No” he cuts you off. “We didn’t.” he assures you as he continues to soothe your back. “You wanted to…really wanted to. But I couldn't do that. I knew how drunk you really were.” You cough up some more liquid and groan. Once you feel like you have nothing left to spew, you set the can down on your side of the bed. He hands you a tissue and you use it to clean up your face.

“Thanks” you mutter, tossing the tissue into the bucket full of your vomit.

“It’s no problem…how much do you remember of last night?” he asks, face neutral.

“Not much at all” you close your eyes shut, thinking. “I remember arriving with Shoko and Utahime, doing some shots…everything is fuzzy after that. Honestly, I feel bad, because I can't even think of your name and you seem to know mine.” you try to search your mental records for what Suguru may have said about the goalie, trying to envision the back of his jersey you've spied at the games. “Is it…Kamo?” you ask eventually. He nods.

“Well…Kamo is my last name. You can call me by my first name, Choso.”

“Choso. It’s nice to meet you, I promise to remember your name this time” you laugh awkwardly.

“You better not forget me again” he laughs softly.

“So…Choso. Can you help fill me in the blanks? Did my friends leave me? How did I end up here in your bed?” You blush slightly, thinking back to the video Satoru posted of you sticking your tongue down Choso's throat. Hoping he won't remember that part. He nods and begins to recount the adventures of last night.

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He isn't quite sure what happened before you started hanging out with him. Though he heard rumors from others that, because you refused to call the house ‘Sukuna's Domain’, Sukuna decided to punish you by making you drink 3 of the most disgusting shots he could concoct. Of course, you wouldn't back down to the challenge and finished them all without hesitation.

Choso didn't plan on leaving his room to join the party, he was working on finishing a project for his advanced biology class due on Monday. With hockey season coming to a start, it's been hard for him to stay focused on his classes and practices. He was enjoying his peaceful night alone and was almost done with his project when you barged into his room unannounced.

“Oh…this isn't the bathroom” you looked around his room confused, head spinning. He glanced over his shoulder at you.

“No, the bathroom is across the hall from me.” He turned back to his laptop on his desk, assuming you left. The creek of his bed told him otherwise. He looked back to see you sprawled out like a starfish.

“Um…didn't you need to use the bathroom?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No…that was a lie” you sighed. “I just needed to escape for a minute. Everyone keeps asking about my ex.” You stare up at the ceiling, it was clear to him that you were upset.

“You can hide out here if you want” he offered, once again turning back to his work. He was typing the final paragraph of his report when your hands wrapped around his forearm.

“Come oooon!” You begged, pulling his arm away from the keboard. He gave you a confused look. “Let's go party! Come hang out with me” you stick your bottom lip out in a pout, batting your lashes at him.

“I'm busy” He tried to tell you, but you continued to beg. You wouldn't give up, so he rolled his eyes and shut his laptop. Jumping around his room excitedly, you led him out of his bedroom and downstairs to the party.

The rest of the night the two of you were glued at the hip. You were able to get him to let loose, danced with him even. You two did more shots together, something he regretted after learning how much you already had and how little you had eaten that day. He even helped you with drawing on Shoko's face after she passed out. Thinking back to the picture you took of her poor doodled on face, you remember seeing a thick black line drawn over her nose, one that matched Choso's. His own artistry you guess.

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“And we…uh…kissed” He scratched the back of his head shyly, looking away to avoid your gaze for a second.

“It was more than just a kiss.” You correct him. “Satoru posted a video…it was a full on make out session in front of the whole party” your face heats up at the memory. He nods in agreement.

“I'm sorry…drunk me sounds like a menace” you groan again. Reliving all the embarrassment over and over. A cringe movie that won’t fade to black.

“It's fine, really. And from what I remember, it was a good kiss despite how drunk we both were” He flashes a slight smile at you.

“Soo…what happened after?” You ask.

“That's when you drunkenly dragged me back up to my room to continue. And…” he stopped for a moment.

“and??” you plead him to continue.

“and the second we made it to the top of the stairs, you threw up all over yourself… and me” you're not even sure what kind of face he is making now because you buried your head in your hands. Wishing you could just crawl away and never have to face him or this embarrassment again.

“Then I sat in the bathroom with you for an hour while you puked your guts out, and I gave you a spare change of clothes and helped clean you up. Once I was sure you were done and exhausted, I laid you down in my bed.” He continues.

“And my friends?” you ask, head still hidden in your hands.

“They got an Uber home. Satoru wasn't sure if you would have been able to stomach the ride back to campus so they decided to let you stay where you were. Utahime wasn't too happy about it, but Suguru vouched for me. I was going to go downstairs and sleep on the couch but I wanted to keep an eye on you. That was…a lot of puke” he speaks in an even tone, free of any judgment as he recounts the night. You lift your head from your hands and look at him.

“Thanks for taking care of me.” You whisper softly. “And sorry for being such a pain in the ass”

“It was nothing” he assures you. He pulls the covers of the blanket back and swings his legs out onto the floor. Pacing over to his desk and pulling out a generic pill bottle from one of the drawers. He shakes two into his palm and comes back to you, holding his fist out. “for your head, I can tell it's killing you right now.” You hold an outstretched palm out to him, graciously accepting the medicine. Washing it down with the now lukewarm glass of water sitting on the nightstand.

“Thanks again,” you whisper. He says nothing, just a polite nod in return. You peel the blankets off yourself, forcing yourself out of the warmth of his bed. Bare feet touching the cold floor, a chill running all the way up your spine. You gather any strength you have left and stand. “Guess I should get going, can I use your phone to order an uber?” you ask him.

“No need, I can drive you back to the dorms.” it's more of a statement than an offer.

“You really don't have to…”

“I was going there anyway, I wanted to hit the gym on campus. So I'm heading back there with or without you.” He crosses his arms as he waits for you to accept the offer.

“Okay” you sigh. “Let's get going, I want to lay down in my own bed.” You walk over to the heap of clothing you wore last night, looking around for something to take them home in. The clothes look wet, like maybe Choso rinsed them off after you changed last night. “Do you have a plastic bag or something?” You ask.

“Don't worry about it” he shakes his head. “Just wear my clothes home and I'll get those cleaned up for you. I'll find a way to get it back to you eventually.” He shrugs as if this is the most normal thing in the world for him. You stare, completely bewildered by this man.

“But it’s…gross” you object, a small frown on your lips. Letting him clean the vomit from your clothing just feels…wrong.

“And watching it spew from your mouth all night wasn't gross?” He lets out a slight laugh. “Seriously, It's fine. I used to take care of my little brothers all the time. This is nothing for me.” His words do nothing to help ease the embarrassment churning inside, but you leave them. At this point you could care less if the clothes made their way back to you, they will serve as nothing more than a sour reminder of this night.

He pulls on a tight black shirt, a gray hoodie and slings his gym bag over his shoulder, heading toward the door.

“You comin’?” he calls over his shoulder. You quickly grab your dead phone from the nightstand and shove it into the pockets of the loose sweatpants before scurrying behind him. Once he sees you ready, he leads the way back down stairs.

You take in the scene on the lower floor. Several men from the hockey team sleeping in various uncomfortable positions. Some curled up on the floor, one with his head pressed to the table, a beer still in his grasp. Red solo cups litter the ground, empty cans piled against the corner of a wall, liquor bottles empty on the counter. The whole place looked sticky. You slip your shoes on, being careful of where you step.

“Oh…my purse” you look around panicked, unable to remember the last time you had it. You could have left it anywhere in this house. Choso glances over and studies your worried face, his own looking nothing more than uninterested.

“What does it look like?” He asks.

“Black, this big, gold chain straps” you describe using exaggerated hand motions.

“I'll look for it” he whispers and walks over toward the kitchen. You lean against the wall and watch him through heavy lids as he struggles to find it. He checks another room on the lower level, and then the bathroom. When he emerges you notice his empty hands as he shakes his head in defeat. The stairs above you creak loudly and you lift your head and watch a familiar pink haired annoyance making his way to you, in his hands the missing purse.

“You left this in the bathroom idiot” Sukuna rolls his eyes before tossing it to you, which you completely miss and let it clunk to the floor. The chain clattering loudly as it falls against the wood, waking up one of the sleeping hockey players in the living room who curses at the noise.

“So you stole it?” You raise an eyebrow at him, Choso bends over to pick it up for you. You can't help but search through it, triple checking all of your belongings where you left it. Wallet, credit cards, your favorite lip gloss. Everything was safe.

“No, I didn't steal it! You left it out in the open for anyone to take. So I just put it away for safekeeping.” He grumbles in response.

“That's…actually really nice Sukuna…thanks” you blink in surprise.

“Whatever. Hope you and Kamo had a good night.” He crosses his arms and leans on the weak railing, wood groaning under his weight. You notice Choso scowl at him, his eyes a silent warning.

“No thanks to you” you bark back, knowing Sukuna is the sole reason you feel the way you do right now. If it wasn't for those shots, you would have made it home to the warmth of your own bed. You glance over at Choso, who is still scowling. Without those shots you also might not have met him.

“Whatever brat, you had fun” Sukuna sighs, pushing off of the railing and heading back to his room upstairs. His arms still crossed.

“Let's get going” Choso’s stern voice brings you back to reality. You nod and follow him outside. The breeze rustles a few crisp golden leaves. A slight chill runs through your spine, your body shivering. Hugging your arms close to your chest, you follow Choso toward a black car, rust lining the edges. He throws his gym bag into the back seat then turns to look at you.

“You're cold” he observes plainly.

“I'll be fine” your chattering teeth betray you. He slips his hoodie off and holds it out to you. The muscles in his bare forearm bulge as he waits for you to take it from him.

“It's fine, really” you protest but he shakes his head, refusing to move from his spot until you accept his gift. So you snatch it out from his grasp, quickly slipping it over your freezing body and letting the residual warmth he left heat you up.

The ride back to the dorms was quiet, and painfully long. Neither of you spoke, not because you didn't want to but because the ride was anything but smooth sailing. Every bump causes your stomach to stir, fearful that opening your mouth in the slightest will cause you to mess up the interior of his car. To protect yourself, and the car, you pressed your forehead against the cold window of the passenger door, eyes shut tightly.

The car comes to a steady stop and you peel open your eyes once again, the sight of your dorm unfolds in your fuzzy vision. You pull on the door handle, ready to run into the safety of the dorm and yell at Shoko and Utahime for letting you ever get that drunk in the first place. The door doesn't budge, still locked. You glance over at Choso whose eyes are fixed on a small black and white cat across the street, acting like it's the most interesting thing in the world.

“Hey, Y/N… I know we kinda only just met, and you're going through something rough right now. But I like to think I'm a good listener, if you ever need someone to talk to” his eyes continue to look out the window as he speaks sincerely.

“Thanks Choso.” You whisper out. “I appreciate that.” He turns to look at you again, his normal bored expression replaced with a slightly shy one. His eyes darting around, not sure where to focus, fingers fidgeting on the steering wheel.

“I had a great time last night. I hope to see you around again” he gives you a small awkward smile as his eyes meet yours. He reaches over you and pushes hard on your door handle. His still messy hair tickling under his nose, getting a whiff of vanilla and cloves. “Sorry, old car. It gets stuck sometimes” He laughs lightly as he pushes the door open. You exit the car and turn back toward him.

“Thanks for everything, see you soon.” You smile sweetly before closing the door and heading toward the entrance of your dorm.

A/N: Thanks for reading! :) comments, likes and reblogs are always appreciated 🫶

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technically-a-kiwi · 7 months ago

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The cosmic cast in color ! ✨

Finaly ! They're all here !

First we have

Peppino Spaghetti THE CHEF

From his pizza oven, he cooks and gives shape to all the multiverse, a very unstable being, destoying things aroud him on a MASSIVE scale when angered. Even if his work is worthy of a god, he claims he's nothing more then a little pizza chef making simple pizzas.

The Noise THE HOST

(yes, I didn't do another art for cosmic Noise c'cause he doesn't need one FOR HE WAS PERFECT FROM DAY ONE ! and because I'm... tired 😵)

If you see a mysterious program playing on your TV, one that you've never seen before, it might be because of this gremlin ! TV host and little chaos bringer, this being of pure mischef will make you wish you were never born as soon as you interact with him. Better pray he get's disinterested from you 'cause once your his target, he will NEVER give you a break, unless he decides to cut his program for a smoke...

Noisette THE MESSENGER

What appears to be a shooting star up high in the sky has a very little chance to actually be this being, from her magic umbrella she travels around the multiverse to briefly open a little café and sell her cosmic pastries. The reason she’s referred as the messenger is because she’s the one who serves as a messenger when cosmic entities don’t want to talk to each other.

The constellations CHILDREN OF THE STARS

Libra, Orion, Cassiopea, Cancer and Gemini, those are the five constellations names, they sometimes visit universes but are not allowed to go alone. They enjoy learning about new places and conceps, even scary ones .

Pepperman THE ARTIST

In a far away dimension, this entity paints and sculps the many art pieces you can find in his galery. He's the master of his atelier, sometimes allowing his students to work on tiny parts of his work. After completing a collection, he sets off to some universes and opens his museum. Are you curious enough to witness those otherworldly works of art ?

The Vigilante VIGIL OF REALITY

When the laws of physics are broken, he'll be there and make those outlaws pay the price... he also is a little farmer who lives in the middle of nowhere, growing cropes and other veggies, he's quite a nice guy.

The Ticket stand ...

in the darkest of corners of an abandoned street, your might meet with this entity. You can buy a ticket, what happens after that solely depends on you.

Pizzahead THE WANDERER ( feat. Pizzaface [design made by @chaotichyperfixations])

A very jolly and silly entity, wandering across the multiverse sharing his performences to whoever wants to see, alongside him is a conscious universe, who wants to get to the rank of cosmic entity, he's not the friendliest of companions but seeing his attemps fall flate is very funny.

Mr Stick THE BANKER

A very nasty entity, he sees high value in money, specificaly money that isn't his. He goes to people in instable economical state, writting their names in his book and claims he has the ability as a cosmic entity to fix their problems, only this is a trick to slowly get every dollar out of their pocket. He sees himself as the boss of every cosmic entity, only nobody ever gave him that title or the respect that comes with it.

Here's how they look like withous the light:

I forgot the sparkles for almost all of them... Maybe I should have given a little more time into this...

#pizza tower #cosmic au #peppino spaghetti #the noise #noisette #toppings #pepperman #the vigilante #fake peppino #pizzahead #pizzaface #mr stick

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severedfromthesource · 4 days ago

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Androids and Electric Sheep

Ren is experiencing an unusual bug. Features F resus, M rescuer, CPR, stething, mouth to mouth, internal defibs, sex leading to cardiac arrest, sex acts both with consent and a person who cannot consent. I got too invested in the preamble so I highlighted the moment resus actually starts if you want to skip it.

No matter how advanced technology gets, it’ll only ever be used to fulfill man’s most base desires. Case in point- RN-34678. Or Ren, when the barcodes make my eyes glaze over and I get sick of calling them the number slurry X Tech names absolutely everything. Ren is as sophisticated as they come. Actual artificial intelligence. She makes the predictive text and ‘can’t even draw fingers’ image generating 21st century jokes people passed off as AI look like even more of a waste of time than they had been in those days. They might as well have been Speak n Spells. The collective power of every single basement dwelling crypto whizz kid with miles of wires and burnt up processors and bricked up video cards dedicated to their etherium farms pale in comparison to the computing power it takes to run Ren’s brain for an hour. She understands nearly 6,000 languages. She learns and retains information, consuming nearly 160 TB of memory every 8 hours. The bio-organic lace that makes up the net of her brain is a miracle, with the possibility of infinite memory. She is perfect in every sense of the word.

She is a glorified fuck toy.

The second the first android became commercially available, one of the first markets they hit was sex work. If nothing about late stage capitalism drove you crazy, that would have. Fuck curing cancer, or making androids for the dangerous, back breaking work people wreck their bodies to do, X Tech decided people needed a sex doll with a 100k price tag. The world’s most expensive cum sock. And yeah, alright, maybe I’m just bitter, partially because there’s no way in hell I could ever afford one, even as an android technician. But what a waste. She sits on my examination table, dutifully unzipping her black leather catsuit. Her managers always manage to stick her in something stupid looking, so overblown and sexualized they stop even being sexy at a certain point.

She looks up at me with lilac eyes. Last time they’d been blue. I like this shade better, I think, though I could do without the electric blue bob they have her wearing today. ”Your crash reports say you’ve been throwing error codes whenever a stream donation comes in over 2k,” I say. Which, for a bot like Ren, is quite a lot of her donations. “It’s probably just a bug in payment processing.” I look again over her diagnostics, floating on the screen at my desk. “Any complaints I wouldn’t find in the debug menu?”

”My heart has been feeling strange,” she says. I pause and look at her over the top of my glasses. “Well, firstly, it’s not your heart. An aether pump does not a heart make. Secondly, it shouldn’t feel like anything. You’re supposed to ignore the inner workings, it’s all background programs, runs without you thinking about it.” She shrugs. Her shoulders are pale as she rolls down the catsuit and pulls her arms from the sleeves, bunching up the tight leather around her midriff. Her breasts are small and round, standing upright as pretty as a Botticelli painting. I’d noticed the small bumps on either side of her nipples (Christ, did the things ever go soft? Or were they just always cutting glass?) but didn’t register until I saw them now that her managers had pierced them sometime since our last checkup. Little silver bars were stuck through the pink nubs, with winking silver balls on either end. Alright, cool, chill.

I clear my throat and pull up my rolling stool. “Well, let’s just take a look then.” I shift once I’m seated to alleviate the pressure of my stiffening cock. Listen, I’m not a technophile, honest to God. I go out of my way to filter out androids when I’m scrolling through porn sites because, despite the leaps and bounds we’ve made in technology, the uncanny valley is still a thing. It feels weird getting off to bots. But then there’s Ren. And fuck me if she isn’t the most attractive thing I’ve ever seen. I put a hand on the back of her neck, my thumb resting at the diagnostic mode button hidden just under the edge of her jaw. I feel the soft bump that sinks in when I press. Her lilac eyes flash black with snatches of white text, then roll back to lilac. Damn, she smells like a new car.

I glance back at the monitor, and as I suspected, nothing comes up about the aether pump. It seems in perfect working order. Still, I dig around my box of scrap wires and spare tubing until I find my mostly neglected stethoscope. I don’t often have to use it, but I feel a trill of excitement go up from my stomach to think I get to use it on Ren. I plug up my ears and put a hand on her shoulder, taking the bell of the steth in my other hand. Her breasts rise and fall with the rhythm of her breathing, set to mimic human intervals. The real purpose is to cool down her insides and keep her from overheating, but just like the aether pump and its auditory cues, its designed to mimic humans as closely as possible. After a guy fucks something like Ren, he gets the added benefit of being able to lay next to her and listen to her breathing. Feel her heart beat. Doesn’t matter what the purpose of the design is for, it matters so he doesn’t feel like he’s fucking a 100k fleshlight with arms and legs. I press the steth to a spot above her breast and it sinks into her pillowy soft skin like it was real. Cool it, Christ, you can’t get so hot and bothered over everything. Heel, boy.

But my thumb makes a slight imprint against her tit, and it’s hard to think of anything else. Same thing happens when I press the steth against a space under her breast, and it lays warmly against the back of my hand. The pump, like the fake lungs, is designed to look and act and even sound like a heart, pumping coolant through her body. I tell her it’s not a heart out of some petty, pedantic need to distance myself and my unique humanity, but truth is, the thing is a heart. She could die if something went really wrong with it, and a lot of bots have. Sudden cardiac arrest was one of the main bugs in the 2.3 rollout. It got so bad, tons of models in the service industry had to be recalled, because mechanical line cooks and servers were dropping if the ovens got too hot. My hand still on her neck, I pull her forward and press the bell to her back. Her forehead brushes against my shoulder, her gaudy blue wig draping against the side of my neck and jaw. I tilt my head just enough my nose brushes her hair. Fuck, she really does smell good.

“Well, I don’t hear any irregularities,” I tell her, because I don’t. The thing is pumping liquid aether around her body at around 70 bpm, like it should. She draws up from my shoulder, glancing at me sideways. “It only seems to happen with clients,” she says, drying out my throat in an instant. “Clients?” “Mhm. Whenever one of them climaxes. If they do it inside me, my heart starts going very fast. I get foggy and I can’t think afterwards.” I swallow. “Right,” I say, “I mean… I can’t exactly test that, Ren.” She touches my wrist. “It’s rather frightening, Doc. I worry…” She pauses, and I try very hard not to say out loud what I’m thinking. You shouldn’t be frightened of anything, Ren. You’re not supposed to feel any of this. She sits back, bringing her hand up, her fingers curling against where her pump lies in her chest, half covering her nudity.

She doesn’t want to get recalled. I wince in spite of myself. If she has the same defect others in her rollout had, she’s going right back to X Tech. I push the steth around my neck, scooping back hair from my face. “It’s a pretty fatal system flaw. It… I could… Well, I-“ I can’t look at her. Fuck, I really can’t look at her. My face feels hot. This is the plot of like, 90% of bot R34 on the internet. I might as well be a pizza delivery guy and she a lonely housewife who’s a few bucks short on a large sausage. She ‘breathes’. Her chest goes up and down, the lights winking off her pierced nipples. She’s so goddamn gorgeous.

“Doc?” “Thinking,” I huff. I spare a glance around the other cubicles bordering mine. Big glass offices, designed for this exact stupid fucking thing I’m about to do. The first guy who got caught with his dick in a bot ruined it for everyone, so now my coworkers and I are subjected to rat lab cubicles where we can look in on each other at any given moment. People around us testing reflexes, repairing cosmetic damage, quashing bugs. What I was about to do was also technically debugging, but there was no way in hell my boss was gonna see it that way if he saw my flat ass pumping in and out of a bot worth more than I make in a year on the other side of plexiglass. Alright, cool, chill. I scoop up my backpack with my work laptop and sling it over my shoulder. “Bathroom,” I whisper.

Cut to Ren and I, locked in the women’s bathroom. We have three women in the office, and their cubes are on the other side of the building, closer to another bathroom. This one is usually empty. Cut to her, awkwardly standing in front of a toilet. Me, on the verge of being the Most Fired Man Who Ever Lived. For extra security, I’d stuffed us both into a stall, locking it behind me too. It's cramped, which adds to the feeling this is absolutely not what I'm supposed to be doing. But hey, it's my job, isn't it?

I awkwardly maneuver around her and sit on the toilet lid, hastily undoing my pants. God, this is shameful. And weirdly hot? I can't tell if it's just Ren or the dozen or so corporate regulations and general laws I'm breaking doing this, but I can feel the pulse in my cock, pressing up against the inseam of my jeans. Those lavender eyes flick from my face to the swollen, flushed skin, and the outer rim of her pupils flash with color. I help her roll down the leather catsuit and then, holy shit, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I’m inside her. She feels real. My hands on her back, my face buried in her tits, her thighs on mine, she feels realer than any woman I had ever known. My breath warms her artificial skin, and the barbell through her nipple is cold, the contrast making me shiver whenever the hot skin of my cheek touches the metal. My fingers slide up her stomach, her hips bucking and pumping me in and out of her. She’s tight. Really fuckin tight. I can feel her aether pump, the artificial heart, throbbing in her inner walls, harder than any real heart I’d ever felt. It adds to every stroke, a thumping sensation that’s nearly making me come after a couple thrusts. Christ, I might as well be sticking my dick right against the chambers of her fake heart.

The job. Right, I’m doing a job. Fuck, I’ve never loved my job so much. “Lemme- ngh, God, fuck- lemme see i-ins-side your ch-est, R-Ren.” She’s straddling my lap, panting like a porn star, her bob swinging back and forth, and she nods. The synthetic skin goes translucent, a dull blue glow that starts at her collarbone and down to the bottom of her ribcage. I spare only a brief chuckle, Man, we never could get rid of those stupid gamer lights, before I try to focus my attention on her inner workings. The aether heart is basically a simplified human one, drawing hot fluid in one side and squeezing out coolant through the other in an eternal ebb and flow. And right now, it’s going insane. The valves are snapping open and closed rapidly, the thing shuddering instead of really beating. There’s a little display window pinned under her collarbone, and it’s clocking her at 150 bpm, the green spikes of her heartbeat saw toothing across the round display port. Not totally dangerous, but as I pump inside of her and she bounces on my thighs to match my quickening pace, it keeps climbing.

Alright. As much as I want to be stuck in here forever, with a beautiful woman bouncing on my dick in a way I’ve only ever dreamed of, I have to figure out what’s wrong. I wrap my arms around her body, pulling her flush against my chest. “Hold onto me, ‘kay?” I breathe against her ear. Her arms slid around me, nails brushing briefly against my shoulder blades. I take in her scent. Focus on the sensations of her body, the sharp cold of her piercings, breasts pressed against my chest, her warm, throbbing cunt. It doesn’t take long. I start to lose the rhythm as my breath shortens, my strokes shortening too, until finally I can take it no more. I come, hot seed filling her up, bathing my cock, spilling out from between our sexes. Her back arches, a cry ripping from her throat of the most exquisite ecstasy.

Then she dies.

No, seriously, the bot quits all at once. I’m there, still trying to enjoy the feeling of my load making her even tighter and full, when she goes completely limp. Her arms slide down from my back, and the artificial pulse I feel in her cunt just stops all at once. She’s dead weight on top of me. “Fuck,” I spit, trying to readjust her, but she’s goddamn heavy. “Ren? Hey, Ren- man, what the fuck-”

I look up at her sternum to see the aether pump has stopped. The little internal monitor is reading a flatline. I fumble to unlatch the bathroom door, my other hand cradling her back, as I awkwardly shift to try and swing it open. Both of us end up in a heap on the floor when I try to pick her up. I'm apologizing to her slack and lifeless face as I disentangle myself and hastily zip up, then lay her flat on her back. Her perfect round breasts sit in the open air, her still heart glowing between them. I set my laptop beside her and hook up a USB into the command port hidden behind her ear.

There was no tip off in her crash reports, but looking now, I can see the absolute mess of code in the last few lines she ran before arresting. I clean up some of the irregularities, get rid of the redundancies, and hit reboot. Two small circular nodes glow within her chest, then snap against the chambers of her heart. Basically built in defib units. Her body jerks, hand twitching in against her cheek, her back arching slightly. Her naked shoulder blades slap against the tile floor as she falls back, limp again. But she doesn't move. Her pump is still. I glance at the monitor and see FATAL SYSTEM ERROR flash across the screen. Fuck, am I going to have to do this manually?

Growling in frustration, I throw my hands against her sternum. It's easy to get the right position when I can see her heart lying beneath a few layers of synthetic skin. Squaring my shoulders, I push down hard. Unlike with real CPR on a real person, depth doesn't matter, nor the risk of breaking ribs. She's basically Wolverine. A hydraulic crusher couldn't break her ribs. They yield though, and bow in against her spine as I rhythmically pump her heart. The force ripples through her whole body. Her stomach pops up, her shoulders shrug in, her head rolls back and forth. I look from her face down to her tits. I can't help it, they're swaying with each compression, the light catching her piercings. I can feel the cool metal rest against my fingers. The position my hands are in leaves my fingertip pressing against her nipple, still standing upright from our exercise. A shiver runs through me. Am I seriously getting hard again? It's hard not to. My eyes drink in her still body, the remnants of our session dribbling down her thigh, her breasts bouncing like they had when she was riding me.

I can almost see the corner of the screen light up with “Kink Unlocked: Reviving Dead Girls”. I glance at the monitor and see the reboot option has lit up again. When I take my hands away from her chest, I see her aether pump jerking as if trying to start again. Once more I charge the internal defibrillators. While they hum to life, I partake in a ritual that isn't strictly necessary. The hero always gets to indulge in mouth to mouth with the downed heroine. She doesn't actually need air, but her lips are slack, full and inviting. I press mine over hers, breathing air she doesn't need into her mouth. I can feel her cheeks puff, and I'm surprised but excited to see her chest rises too. I give her a few quick bursts of oxygen. Her chest jerks up and I only allow it to fall part way before I give her another, making her chest rise and fall in short hyperventilations. My hand finds itself running up her stomach to feel the motion of my breaths, up over her breast again. It fills my palm as I breathe a long, slow draft into her throat, and I roll her nipple between my fingers. She sighs out recycled air against my face when I break the seal of our lips.

Man, how do EMTs not cum when they resuscitate hot girls? The whole tableau is so erotic, I can feel my pulse once more jerk in my cock. The defibs once more slap the chambers of her artificial heart and she thrashes under the current. Her breasts sway and she again falls limp to the tiles.

“Come on, Ren,” I say under my breath, watching her aether pump swelling at uneven intervals. The chambers aren't beating right still, snapping open and closed out of sync with one another. I again check her code on my laptop, using one hand to tap through my options. The other I lay against her sternum. It occurs to me I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Whatever feels like it helps, I guess. Or whatever feels good. I grind my heel in against her heart in slow, rhythmic compressions with one hand. “Come on, work with me here. Breathe for me. Do something, at least let me know you're not completely bricked.” The idea that she might be makes me swallow hard. I like Ren. I don't want to ship her off to the junkyard as much as she doesn't want to be shipped.

When her heart goes still again I lace my fingers together and start pumping her chest anew. I forget my laptop entirely- this isn't a software issue, it's the hardware in her chest acting up. If I can just get the damn thing to reset. Swinging my leg over her supple thighs, I straddle her so I can use my whole body. Like this, I can feel the motion my work creates in her otherwise still body. Each powerful thrust against her pump rolls the kinetic force through her whole body. Her feet swing back and forth. The force rolls from her chest, down her stomach, even rippling her thighs. Each compression makes her stomach roll out, only now I can feel it between my legs.

Fuck it, I'm already fired. These life saving efforts have got me hard all over again, something I would have thought impossible. I unzip and thrust into her almost in one motion. It's next to impossible to actually pump into her while I'm working her heart, so I mostly settle for letting her body rock into me while I do CPR. Only when the prompt for the defibrillator pops up again do I allow myself to roll my hips into her while it charges. The thing whines quietly as I brace my hand against her chest, driving my cock deep inside her. It slaps her heart again and she arches her back, filling my hand against her sternum. Her inner walls clench with the electricity and I groan as I roll in and out of her. That's when she draws in a breath and moans all at once. Her eyes flutter open and she instinctively begins to grind her hips in rhythm with me. Before long I'm filling her up all over again and I collapse on top of her. She's back. The thought strikes me as I look down and see her aether pump snapping out a normal, if elevated rhythm. I roll off onto the welcome chill of the tile floors, my arm still slung around her.

“You okay?” I pant, my eyes half lidded as I look at her. Ren nods, smiling weakly in return. Then she’s wrapping her arms around me, burying her face in my shoulder. I hesitate, the shame of what I had done to her when she was basically dead starting to creep up now that the high is waning. But eventually I slide my arms around her in return, drawing her close to my body. “Thank you, doc,” she whispers.

“Don't mention it.” Seriously, don't mention any of this.

#tbh i might not finish bite back. ive had a hard time motivating myself to complete the final part #resus community #resus #cpr #chest compressions #female resus #resus writing #internal defibrillators #mouth to mouth #defibrillation #stething

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