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seuonji · 8 months

Note

HII!! i love your writing sm (seriously helps sm after a long day) and i was just asking if you had the time or were inspired could you do how svt would react if their introvert s/o is like socially exhausted sfw (ive had to go to important social events everyday for two weeks straight and i am absolutely exhausted). (If you cant do svt then maybe coups?) Again thank you so much for the content and if you cant do it its perfectly fine.(Idk whether youre taking requests rn, so if you arent im so super sorry for bothering you)

from aya: HII!! omg i’m so happy to hear that my writings make you feel better T^T <3 i hope your days get better!! it can be exhausting but im happy to know you have things to fall back on so that you can relax!! love lots, hope you enjoy this!

btw! so sorry this took so long i’ve been busy with the real world too hahah. i did the 95z so that there was a variety in scenarios but do let me know if you want another member!!<3

seungcheol. he doesn’t really need words to know how you feel, he’d be able to tell just by the look on your face but even then, he can’t help but feel his heart sink seeing you so tired.

so when you came home after a long day and you weren’t your usual self, he immediately noticed it when he greeted you at the front door.

“tiring day today?” he tilted his head as he reached for your body, pulling you close and compressing himself onto you. he hopes that the hug would be comforting to you and it was. it’s as if the warmth of his hug melted your heart and it brought your back to life.

“do you want to have some alone time?” he totally understands if you do, he gets it if that’s the only way you can recharge

you weren’t sure if you wanted to see seungcheol today but he was your comfort. he felt you shake your head into his chest answering a no to his question and he just brushed your hair. slowly, he parted from the hug and took the things you were holding, “want to eat or anything?” no matter what you plan on doing, after this you two would spend the night with a long cuddle session that recharges you from the draining day.

if you want him to, he’d definitely whisper encouragements or advice on how to not get drained too quickly. as a fellow introvert himself, he knows best.

“it’s tiring but you handled it so well! just keep doing the same you’ll get used to it but if it gets too much just call me and i’ll be there for you,” he whispered as he stroked your hair.

jeonghan probably teased you at first.

“ahh yn your face looks so dull today,” he gently caressed your face but as you gave a bitter reaction as a response, he realised that something was wrong and immediately apologised for making the joke. he quickly changed to listening mode, ready to listen to you but even if you don’t tell him, he’d just sit with you until you’re ready to speak.

as you open up, he’d offer some tricks to get away from the crowd even if they’re bizarre.

“if you get tired, just go into your car and drive home, to me,” he proudly smirked

“hanie…i have to be there.”

“okay then just go to the washroom and call me if you start feeling tired of socialising.”

“why would i call you if i’m tired of socialising.”

“well i didn’t think i make you feel tired of socialising,” he said in disbelief.

he means it all as a joke but he definitely has some good advice and suggestions hidden in there which really gets you through a day.

joshua was suspecting that you were going to feel this way even before you left the house. so when you came home with the expression that screamed ‘exhausted’ he could only greet you with a smile which hid his frown. he was upset knowing he couldn’t do much to avoid you from feeling that way but he knew he could provide you comfort so that’s what he did.

he greeted you home with a hug and asked if you wanted some alone time in case you wanted to recharge on your own.

there’s something that really brightens his day when you say you want to spend your time with him. he’d definitely spends the night pampering you and making you some comfort food while finding things you like to do like listening to music or reading a book together, whatever helps you recharge. the days definitely a lot more silent but you’re just comfortably in each others space.

in the bed before you two sleep, he holds you close. both your eyes are shut but he still whispers words from his heart.

“you did amazing today yn and you’ll do even better tomorrow. but remember you can tell me when it gets hard, okay? just tell me what you need.”

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crepesuzette2023 · 3 months

Note

Hello! I just wanted to say something and ask for advice.

I absolutely love fanfictions because I love seeing people's different writings and techniques and storylines... And I enjoy the smut too to be honest.

But when it comes to real people, I just feel guilty. I don't know what to do. I'm hyperfixiated on the Beatles rn and I'm a mclennon truther but I still feel guilty reading them.

Do you suggest anything? Oh I don't know... I suffer from anxiety and I'm very unsure.

Hi there—

first of all, thank you for trusting me with this question.

I'm sad to hear you're feeling guilty about reading fan fiction. Sad, because I love it too— {Paul voice:} a lot.

I never had the guilt you're describing, so I don't know how helpful I can be, but here are some thoughts.

First of all, you mention feeling guilty "when it comes to real people." I think it's great you're giving this some thought, and that you're seeing their humanity, and acknowledge how important it is to respect another person's privacy. But!

As I see it, you're not doing anything bad to a real person by writing fic about them, or reading it. You're not. Fiction is invention. It's not a rumor presented as truth. It's not an insult posted on the person's socials or the walls of their house. It's not something pushed in their faces. It's fiction posted to an archive that can easily be avoided, the way I avoid certain shelves in the book store without complaining about the fact that they're there, or demand the bookstore be closed.

But also: The Beatles in the fics aren't the real Beatles. They're avatars. The one way writing & reading fan fiction differs from fiction about original characters is that it comes with an existing background, characters, & world building. That is all. It's still fiction. My Paul isn't your Paul. He's not the real Paul. I don't know the real Paul. I don't want to know him. He's 100% safe from me. *Lovingly describes John running his tongue over his sweaty leg fur*

I know that sounds weird, but think about it. Many novels have been written about historical figures (or obscure real persons only known to the author!) with no one batting an eye. The Crown is often named as an example. I read a biographical novel about Thomas Mann recently. (The Magician, *snore* —Thomas Mann deserved better!) I have my second Sylvia Plath novel on my night stand.

What's happening here is that real people are becoming history—a copy of a copy—larger than life figures—and art (writing) becomes a creative way to respond to what they did. That's all.

It's nothing to do with doing anything bad to a real person. It's just fun (the day our friendship's begun).

So, after running my mouth, what do I suggest?

Keep telling yourself:

It's art.

It's okay to imagine anything.

It's no one's business what you enjoy in the privacy of your own mind.

A lot of storytelling is fan fiction, even if it isn't labelled as such!

If you still feel guilty and anxious, you can always stop reading—or, if you feel like it, investigate where these feelings are coming from, perhaps with the help of someone who can support you in getting rid of these feelings.

I've gone on long enough—go read some smut, safe in the knowledge that this is a thing of all times, and a sign that the beat goes on. People who argue otherwise need to get their legs combed.

#asks #fanfiction #beatles fanfiction

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tiredlilguy · 1 year

Text

I’m writing from my phone because I have carpel tunnel and my hands hurt. Take these randomly assorted BSD hc’s:

(possible SB spoilers, but just the characters)

- Albatross has every piercing under the sun: like he’s got a nose ring, eyebrow piercing, snakebites… anything u can think of

- Oda wears rings 🤤, plays with them when he gets anxious (he’s also my husband)

- Chuuya is a summer child (born in the summer), so he love it when it’s hot af outside and drags his friends outside to go eat lunch with him or smth (HES HUMAN IN MY HEART STFU, I DONT WANNA HEAR IT RN)

- opposite to Chuuya, Dazai is a winter baby, but he also hates the cold

- sometimes Adam sends Chuuya random incriminated texts on his phone. It’s usually just something silly like “Hello! I hope you’re eating sugar and growing very healthy.” Or maybe a random fact like “Did you know that cows have a strong sense of smell? They can perceive smells at a distance of up to ten kilometres.” Chuuya will usually not respond back, but he scoffs and lets out a small laugh to himself before closing his phone

- Ango hates bugs, he will cry if he sees a spider sitting on his paperwork

- Oda and Ango when drunk are very enthusiastic and energetic. Oda will dance on the counter while pretending his glass is a mic. Ango will join him too- The only person that knows this side to them is Dazai

- animals love sigma for some reason. Like Disney princess style love sigma. Sigma however, hates that this happens to him, and actively avoids walking in forests or places where animals usually reside.

- Oda is a good dancer, like good… old style bar dancer. He’s quite impressive actually, and it’s attractive-

- Chuuya and Albatross both have heterochromia.

- Literally no one except for Chuuya has seen Albatross with his sunglasses off. That shit is basically glued to his face

- Verlaine is bougie as hell. Like I know he’s Mafia, but I think it’d be funny if he was… more bougie than like everyone else in the Mafia. Like he actively buys and wears expensive shit.

- Verlaine has a good hair routine.

- Doc may or may not have a plushie collection. And they may or may not all be sea animals

- Kunikida seems like he’d have an emo phase. Idk why… I just think he would.

- Despite only using one bar of soap for showering, Atsushi actually smells really nice for some reason (he smells like lavender)

- lippman is a swiftie, doc is a barb (I discussed this with one of my moots and now I can’t stop thinking about it)

- since it’s hinted is SB that Lippman would still make ppl fold at him wearing feminine clothes, I hc that he does not rly give a shit about gender or what one should/should not wear

- Chuuya has taken this tip from Lippman and has worn skirts before with his outfits

- the real reason why akutagawa dislikes mandarins (that’s canon btw) is because one time he was offered one to eat and as he was peeling it the mandarin juice got in his eye and he chopped it up into bits out of anger

- Chuuya only ate bread and soup when he was in the Sheep, since then Kouyou has introduced him to the finer foods in life, and Albatross introduced him to junk food

- Dazai used Chuuya’s shower when he was in the Mafia because he didn’t have a shower in that old ass storage container

- Oda does not pay for haircuts. He cuts his own hair, and one time he was too busy so he had to tie it up in a low pony

- Kunikida likes things that are weighted (weighted blankets, etc)

- Oda’s a little bit tanned because of jobs that have to do with being outside in the sun for long periods of time

Ok that’s all. Enjoy. I should make an Odasaku hc list because he is my absolute favorite character (next to the flags). Let me know if u want a specific bsd character hc. I will write it >:3 (also please tell me ur hc’s too. I love hc’s) I’m gonna eat lunch now.

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skzoologist · 10 months

Note

Ok so I have another idea,

So bae is having a bad day and struggling with something, feeling insecure making him feel really stressed and down and he considers harming himself to cope with it thankfully one of the members notice him (Feeling in a minho or chan mood rn so if you could write it as them that would be amazing) and check up on him right before he was about to and stops, him comforting bae

P.S You don't have to write it if you aren't comfortable writing something like this. Ngl I dunno what came over me with this, maybe I am self projecting?

-🐿️

word count: ~2.1k

warnings: self-harm, self-deprecating thoughts

genre: heavy angst, hurt/comfort

a/n: I know I got another ask from a different follower a day ago, but this is just activating my own spidey senses, so this enjoys priority. Also I'm alright writing this, because it touches on a part of Bae's lore that I haven't revealed yet, so don't worry about that. But 🐿️ anon, my sweetie, if you ever really have these thoughts, talk to someone. Anyone. A friend, family, heck, even me or another online person! This isn't a long-term solution, but it can help tremendously. This goes for everyone too: if talking to me or requesting something like this helps, never hesitate to do so! Life is hard and we sometimes need some time and help to recuperate and get back to our feet. There's no shame in it.

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

As soon as Bae opened his eyes, he felt the air heavily pressing onto his skin, as if a weight was fused onto the upper layer. His limbs felt sluggish, as if his own blood and bones were cast out of pure steel and misery. The light that successfully seeped through the thick curtains felt too bright, earning a low hiss from the male.

Mornings after a migraine were always hard to bear.

The one he’d had the previous day was particularly harsh, rendering him useless as he’d been just carried away by his bandmates to the dorms in urgency. All schedules’s been cancelled for him immediately, Chan telling him how it was alright, how he should only ever focus on his own health.

It made his stomach churn.

Everyone was working themselves to the point of exhaustion every single day, yet here he was, laying in bed once again, causing inconvenience for everyone. He hated it with every fibre of his being, the feeling seeping deep inside and nestling there.

Yet, Bae put a lock onto the gate this monstrous being hid behind, forcing his limbs to move, the motion cumbersome and difficult. What would have only taken him a few minutes now took ten or twenty, an obscuring fog settling over most of his mind. Nothing felt right, yet he powered through it, refusing to leave out another day of work.

Not even Chan could stop him.

After his morning routine was done and his horribly pale skin was hidden behind makeup, he went out of his room at his own, slow pace, knowing fully well no one else was at the dorms anymore. They were all already at the company, busy with their solo schedules and practices. He himself had to be at a photoshoot in an hour, or at least according to his original, filled out schedule. His hyungs adamantly gave him not only yesterday off, but two other days as well, not leaving him any room for argument.

Little did they know he’d told his own manager to reschedule those two days amidst head-splitting pain and blurry vision. It was an arduous task, but he’d managed.

Once he was down in the lobby and ready to go, his driver was surprised, safe to say, the expression obvious as it sat out onto his face. But he’d been working with Bae for long years now, thus that was the only indication about the idol’s unexpected appearance. No words were exchanged, the two acknowledged the other with a respectful nod and off they were to their destination.

The drive wasn’t long, leaving Bae no time to sink into his thoughts as he watched the scenery fly by through the window. Even the weather was feeling down, the skies grey and melancholic. It felt as if in the next minute the clouds would start weeping, openly pouring their heart out in a silent farewell.

Once the car was parked, he slightly nodded at the driver who was looking back at him, opening the door and stepping out onto still dry pavement. His legs automatically took him into the company, something he was grateful for with his hazy mind. The only thoughts that were coherently formed in there were about his bandmates and how he wished he wouldn’t run into them accidentally. He really didn’t have the energy to hear what they had to say and berate him over not resting.

It seemed like his prayers were heard, nobody noticing him as he was silently walking through the halls, as if he was a ghost tied to them for eternity. The moment the staff saw him enter the room they bowed and greeted him, something he reciprocated silently with a bow of his own.

He was soon whisked away to a chair, his makeup and hair professionally done. Even if the workers noticed the bags under his eyes or his unnaturally pale complexion, none of them acknowledged it, opting to instead silently work away with precise movements.

The different array of powder snugly stuck to his skin, just enough to make him feel like the idol he was supposed to be, not a smidge more. The colours were vibrant, the exact opposite of what he felt like under the mask he’d put up, something that fit his idol self only. His bleached, white hair was gently clipped up, a few chosen strands taken out and purposefully left hanging down, framing his face elegantly. A glint caught his eye, the dangly earring in his left ear catching light and shining brightly.

The man who looked back at him in the mirror felt like someone else.

Tearing his gaze away, he let the stylists choose his outfit and got into position, everyone’s eyes on that stranger who he was supposed to be. With a cold gaze he did his job, perfectly executing everything that was expected of him. Even after the sixth outfit change, the final one, and endless photos taken over the course of hours, his expression remained unchanged, focus solely on the camera that was pointed directly at him.

The way back home felt like a blur to him. Stripped of the branded clothes and sheltering makeup on his face, he felt vulnerable, something those dark, swirling thoughts started taking advantage of. He tried to think of anything else, of food or even a favourite TV show.

None of it worked.

They all circled back to how he shouldn’t be skipping the group’s dance practice, how miserable he looked and how he felt nauseous, even though he hadn’t eaten anything all day. Horrendous scenarios played through his head, worsening with every passing second, each ending with him being forced to leave the group.

He really should cook something. If not for himself, then his bandmates, who no doubt would be hungry by the time they got back to the dorms.

But what if… What if they wouldn’t want to eat it? Why would they? After all, he was someone undeserving of their love, to be in the group, useless with a malfunctioning body. He wouldn’t be surprised if one of them finally would have had enough of his constant migraines and the hassle that always came with it, the constant darkness and hushed voices as he was carried away, unmoving.

He also didn’t have an amazingly unique voice like Felix, or dance moves like Minho. Hell, he didn’t even know how to produce music, like 3RACHA.

He was useless.

The knife in his hand glinted, surrounded by half-chopped vegetables. A thought ran through his head, one that would solve all his problems, permanently ending them.

Pale skin drew him in, dark veins peeking through. It felt inviting, as if it somehow grew a mouth itself and called the knife’s name, inescapably alluring.

“Bae?”

His eyes were drawn from the freshly drawn blood, only a few droplets escaping and coating the surface of the blade in a bittersweet vermillion colour. Chan just stood there, frozen, hand stopped midair, no doubt in the process of taking off his bag. Their eyes met, dull ones with pure panic, darting between the knife and Bae’s eyes, as if no matter how hard their owner tried, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

The thud of the bag was loud in the heavy silence, unsure footsteps soon following it.

Bae just watched as the older walked towards him, steps wobbly and out of their usual, steady rhythm. Shaking hands reached towards his own ones, gently prying them apart and away from the stained, sharp object.

An even shakier breath left Chan’s lips as he just stood there, still holding the other’s hands in his gentle hold, blood now painting his skin in small rivers. Their eyes couldn’t meet this time, no, the leader’s own gaze focused on their conjoined hands, expression hidden from the younger.

Not a sound could be heard as Bae was led towards the bathroom, Chan’s hands quietly working away on taking care of the fresh wound. Bae similarly didn’t say anything, not even hiss left his lips when the alcohol touched open skin, or when it was finally sealed off, left to heal in peace.

The two remained there for a while, one standing, the other sitting, until the silence was broken by quiet sniffles, the older’s lip wobbling and eyes shining with unshed tears.

“What were you thinking?” - his voice was a broken little thing, as if he himself got hurt by the knife instead of Bae.

The younger stayed silent, numb and unwilling to burden anyone with his worthless thoughts. He didn’t deserve being cared for like this, something the voices whispered to him relentlessly.

“Bae, why did you do it? Do you hate being with us this much?”

His head snapped up from where he was observing the tiles underneath his feet, wide eyes staring into Chan’s tear-filled ones. Those obsidian orbs were filled with sorrow, the usually bright nebulas now hidden in darkness. The sight alone broke something in Bae, as if he was pulled up onto the surface of an alaskan lake from its deep, imprisoning depths.

A sound left the younger’s lips, something that vaguely resembled a word, yet no one could tell. It was quiet, broken, much like the male himself. More soon followed its wake, finally donning the form of a word and adamantly denying Chan’s question with their sole existence. His head shook as tears finally fell down upon shaking hands, ones that were raised in a sad attempt of hiding away. Chan didn’t hesitate to hug the unravelling boy in front of him, his standing form easily engulfing Bae’s small, sitting one.

“Then why?” - the question was careful, as if a single wrong word could shatter Bae into irreparable pieces.

“I don’t feel worthy to be here.” - that was the simple answer he got.

The grip on the younger tightened impossibly, Chan’s form rigid and unbreathing. It prompted Bae to snake his hands further up, clinging onto the fabric there desperately, hold more secure on his hyung. His head was buried in Chan’s stomach, afraid to be seen like this.

“My moonlight, look at me.” - it was a gentle request, one that was accompanied by tender hands, holding onto tear-stained cheeks and leading them out of their hiding.

Thumbs softly swiped the droplets away from underneath dark, confused eyes.

“You’re one of the hardest working people I’ve ever met, and I’ve been in this demanding industry for longer than anyone should have. There’s a passionate fire burning inside you, one that you never let lose its intensity. Not only do you practise and work relentlessly, you also have amazing talent in everything you do. Your singing is wonderfully soft, perfectly harmonising with anyone you sing with. You know every single one of our dances to the point where if I were to start a song from any point, you would know what dance move goes with it. And you always look amazing, no matter what you wear or do. On top of all that, you never fail to help us or listen to our problems. Never once have you turned us away in all these years.”

Chan’s eyes held a soft light, a gentle smile dancing on his lips. It stole the breath out of Bae’s lungs, his eyes stinging as a fresh wave of tears started forming.

“You can ask any of us, we would only sing your praises. Because they’re true, baby. You might get migraines often, but then what? That doesn’t make you any less of us. You work hard enough already, a little rest won’t take away from that.”

He stopped for a moment, as if a fond memory appeared in front of his eyes.

“Did you know? I love the little snacks you sneak into my bag that I take to the studio with me. I also love the little notes you always give me with it and the silly little drawings on them. I’ve never thrown one out ever since you started giving them to me.”

The look on Chan’s face was entirely too fond, something that Bae couldn’t possibly look at for too long, lest his chest burst into loved pieces. No, hiding into the fabric of his hyung felt better, unwilling to think about the way the man’s lips curved up, dimples peeking through, or the way his eyes were just slightly crinkled, holding the warmth of a star itself even through those crystal droplets.

“You’re loved, Bae. Never forget that.”

#i know it's hard #but there are people who care about you #more than you could ever imagine #stray kids #skz #stray kids oc #skz oc #stray kids 9th member #skz 9th member #glacial prince #bang chan #request #🐿️ anon #stray kids fanfiction #skz fanfiction #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic

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floppydiskettess · 1 year

Note

Hi! I’d like to request a Hyde x reader for Coffee Talk please. It can be about anything! Thank you!

MY FIRST COFFEE TALK REQUEST EEE!!! I TOTALLY THOUGHT THIS FANDOM WAS LIKE NON EXISTANT DHDHDNSNSN. PLEASE ENJOY !!!!

also im super duper sorry for not uploading lately, my motivation has been low and im kinda insecure ab my writing rn so im hesitant to post djdjsdn

CONFESSIONS AND FIRST DATES (Hyde coffee talk)

it was a typical day in your cafe, silver and amanda had just left to prepare for their upcoming trip they planned. you were really happy for them truly, but you would miss silver's presence.

lost in thought, you suddenly notice a pale slim finger tapping the counter. you look up to see the gothic model that you have grown to become fond of throughout the time of his visits.

"mr. hyde! sorry about that, i zoned out. what is new with you?"

he smirks and rests his face in his hands. "hm. i noticed. not much is new with me though, but are you alright? hope i wasn't i interupting anything important" he said with a chuckle.

you blush awkwardly at that. hoping he hadn't been waiting for you to refocus on real life for too long. he was quite stand-off ish and wary when you had first met but after the few months you have known him he has warmed up to you. he is a special customer to you. (but don't tell freya that.)

"no..sorry, i was just reflecting on some stuff. anyhow enough about me, would you fancy a drink?"

you could see his smirk grow a bit wider through his hands before he put his hands down and picked up his phone. "just my usual, you remember it right?"

you nod and he smiles once again before typing on his phone. you quickly busy yourself with his drink. you gently cut the ginger into fine slices before mixing into the sweet hibiscus mix. you pour it into a freshly cleaned cup before turning around. you notice that he was staring attently as you made his drink. you smiled at him before placing it on the counter for him.

"here you go, one zobo."

he gently picks up the cup before taking a sip, letting the flavour of the drink sink in. he hums before speaking again.

"good girl. i am a little suprised you remembered" he says with a smirk

you blush at the nickname before shooting back with a coy smile "how could i forget my favourite customers drink? it's not like you don't spend a lot of time here afterall. i can't tell if you come for the drinks or to visit me." you tease back at him.

for the first time, you notice a pale yet subtle blush spread across his face. his complexion quickly turning a light crimson. but before you can mention it however he nervously coughs and takes another sip of his drink. you make sure to store that memory to tease him about later..

he quickly busies himself doing something with his phone, seemingly typing agressivly to someone. he seems to have no more interest in speaking so you turn around to busy yourself with some leftover dishes from some earlier customers.

after about 5 minutes, you dry your hands and turn around to check on your customer. you are met with his gaze staring deeply at you as if he was long in thought. you feel a little nervous under his glare but you try to disregard it but when you go to retrieve the now finished drink you gently graze your hand on his. this seems to snap his out of it as he quickly looks up at you standing above him. you look down at him as you both just stare at eachother as if you were both scared to move.

from this view, you can see the makeup adorning his face. the concealer he had on under his eyes slightly fading so you could catch just a glimpse of his tired eyes. his skin looked incredible as if he keeps good care of it, you always wished you had effortless skin like his. as your eyes move over his face his blush gets deeper and deeper, but you assume by now your own face was bright red as well. you could just barely hear the quick and soft breaths coming from him, you were quite thankful nobody else was here right now as it would be quite the sight to see. the soft music in the background completely tuned out as you just focus on him.

you quickly realize how close and awkward it was, so you shakingly begin to pull away from him. before you can move far though you feel a warm hand grabbing your apron. you notice how he is no longer sitting and is pressed against the countertop standing so he can reach you. you feel yourself get pulled back before feeling a gentle warmth touch your cheek.

oh shit, he just kissed your cheek

you immediately lose all composure accepting that it is much to difficult to act unaffected by this.

you softly whisper his name in suprise as you look at the ground as if avoiding his gaze. his grip on you softens as he shakingly lets you go.

"i..i am so sorry. i had better leave...thank you for the drink." he stutters out nervously as he quickly gathers his belongings. you stare at him in awe of what had just happened.

before he can leave however you reach out and grab onto his dress shirt, he turns around startled.

"...can i at least get your number..? incase you ever want to talk outside of the cafe you know?"

he looks suprised but he nods as he writes down his own number on a peice of paper.

"here. this is my personal phone...sometime we should go out for food, if you want to of course." he says calmly with a soft smile that is rare to see

you nod and smile back at him "i would love that..have a good rest of your night Hyde."

he relaxes and smiles back at you before walking out of the cafe.when the room was empty, you slumped down onto one of the benches and softly laughed. looking forward to your next encounter with the mysterious vampire. you save his number and send a quick hello text.

soon after, your phone softly beeps.

a/n: hi djsjsjjdjsjs im sorry this is si bad...like i said im really not happy with my writing lately it has been very bad and cringe. im not doing to great so it has been super hard to work on the requests.

#coffee talk #coffee talk game #hyde coffee talk #hyde x reader #coffee talk x reader #hyde x reader coffee talk

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ihavemanyhusbands · 2 years

Text

Honey Bun (18+ Series)

(Aaron Hotchner x Stripper!Reader)

Part 1 // MINORS DNI

This first part is dedicated to @ssahotstuff for inspiring me <3 and to @hausofwhores who I first talked to about my idea hehe <3 <3

WC: 2.1k Words

Song Inspo: Gold Satin Dreamer - Nicole Dollanganger

Series Warnings: Eventual smut, bit of an age gap (placing reader at around 25-26), cursing, alcohol consumption, formalized sex work (Stripper/Pole Dancer), occasional angst, drama, and that's all I can think of rn but lmk if I missed anything!

A/N: Short and sweet intro! Things are gonna get very uhhh interesting from here on out ;) Enjoy some flirty Hotch, let me know your thoughts on this first part! I'm super excited to be writing this!!!! :)

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“Need a little sugar in your life, gentlemen? Well, get ready to make it rain on our sweetest girl, Honey Bun! Just remember, you may feast your eyes, but no touching!”

—————

Thursdays weren’t always so busy. Sure, there were a couple of party animals who liked to start the weekend early, but rarely at such capacity.

At least you were glad that Josephine was working with you that night. She made busy nights at the Duchess Tavern much more bearable. When you first started working there, she immediately took you under her wing, teaching you all the ropes.

She had a certain matronly quality about her — probably attributed to the fact she was twenty years older than you — but she was a real tough cookie, too. On countless occasions, she’d helped you deal with rowdy customers and drunk assholes. She rarely ever needed help from the bouncers to break bar fights, she cursed like a sailor, and she also made the meanest Long Island Iced Tea you’d ever had.

You were certain that if it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t have lasted a week being a bartender.

“You’re lucky you’re off on weekends,” Josephine said as she poured a row of shots for a group of college-aged girls. “This here is light work compared to a Saturday night.”

“Well, it’s not like I’ll be getting a lot of rest…” you countered. “Dealing with the same sort of customers, too.”

“I don’t know, maybe I’m just getting too old for this shit,” she sighed heavily.

“Oh please, pigs will fly before the day good ole Josie O’Donnell actually retires.”

She laughed heartily, smacking your arm in a playful way. You couldn’t help but admire how hardworking she was. She’d been at this business for years, and it was certainly no easy place to be. She inspired you to stay driven, even when you felt at your lowest. She was the only one in this place you trusted with the knowledge of your other job. Not everyone was so understanding, and plus, it wasn’t really their business anyways.

Working two jobs was in no way easy, but it was definitely necessary. Especially considering you liked living a certain way. You barely had any free time to hang out with friends outside of work, much less meet people and go on dates. Though it’s not like you didn’t get hit on, at both of your jobs, but you just weren’t interested in any of them.

Rarely could anyone keep up with your schedule, especially considering your line of work. It was unsurprising, but you weren’t really phased by it anymore.You didn’t give yourself the time to feel lonely, and you had enough interactions during the day to compensate.

As the initial swell of patronage died down, you began wiping down the bar, absently humming to yourself. Def Leppard’s ‘Bringing on the Heartbreak’, one of your favorites, was playing on the speakers.

An older looking gentleman slid onto a barstool then. You offered him a drink menu, but he waved it off and ordered a scotch, neat. He pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a long sigh, and his shoulders slumped as he crossed his arms over the bar top.

“Long day?” You asked, pouring his drink.

“You could say so,” he nodded wearily. “You know, I’ve always wondered, are bartenders required to ask that whenever they see a haggard-looking patron?”

You chuckled, sliding it towards him. “Only if we think we can help.”

A ghost of a smile was on his lips at that. You studied him more closely, trying to be subtle – He was strikingly handsome, with dark hair and thick dark eyebrows. He had a strong nose and a sharp, clean shaven jaw. His eyes were a piercing dark brown, and they drew your attention the most.

He took a sip of scotch, and there was something analytical in his gaze as he took you in, as well.

“Well, I guess you could say I’m a little bit of a workaholic,” he said.

You nodded in understanding. “A common affliction these days.”

“You, too?” He raised an eyebrow, and you shrugged as if to say what can you do?

“No offense, but I can’t imagine you love spending more time here than you need to.”

You raised both eyebrows at this, only half amused. He was wearing a nicely tailored suit, had an expensive watch on his wrist, and wasn’t ordering cheap drinks. The Duchess didn’t really seem like a place he’d hang out at, and yet…

“Hmm, well, I suppose the same could be said about you,” you countered, nonchalant.

“Touché,” he acquiesced with the smallest chuckle. “But I don’t know, maybe I should give it a chance. It’s…”

“Charming?” You offered.

“Yes, exactly.”

You excused yourself momentarily to attend to another customer. He looked around, but was clearly uninterested in talking to anyone else.

Josephine caught your eye and gave you an impressed look. She wagged her eyebrows suggestively and mouthed ‘get it’.

You rolled your eyes playfully, shaking your head a little. He was certainly very good looking, and flirting was pretty fun, but you weren’t sure if it should go any further than that.

When you returned, you refilled his glass, since he’d already polished off the first one.

“So, what’s your name?” You asked. “Or is it more fun to keep it anonymous?”

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

You thought about it for a moment, but then you relented, telling him your name.

“Some call me Honey, though,” you added.

He extended his hand out to you. “I’m Aaron Hotchner. It’s nice to meet you, Honey.”

You shook his hand, his long fingers basically engulfing yours. Something stirred low in your belly at this, your mind going straight to the gutter. As if he could tell, a smirk tugged at his lips.

“Boy, do I feel lucky to be the one getting your attention tonight,” he said.

“Why do you say that?”

“Those guys over there have been ogling you for some time now. They’re almost panting and salivating like dogs.”

You glanced in the direction he gestured towards, momentarily meeting two hungry gazes. You shrugged it off, so used to that sort of lascivious attention that you didn’t notice it anymore.

“Well, you approached me the right way,” you said, busying yourself by wiping down some glasses. “Some think it’s flattering to be looked at like that, but it’s really not.”

“I’m sorry about that,” he sympathized. “I get what you mean.”

“Oh, it must be so hard being so attractive, hmm?” You teased jokingly.

“So you think I’m attractive?”

You gave him a look that said are you serious?

“I mean, I don’t want to stroke your ego but… Yes, you really are.”

Aaron’s smirk only grew, perhaps feeling more bold now that he was on his second drink.

“For the record, I think you are very beautiful, but I am a man who knows who to appreciate beauty without needing to take some of it for himself.”

You looked back up at him then, momentarily stunned. Then you chuckled in slight disbelief, but also totally enthralled. Just who was this man?

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d held a conversation — less so one so genuinely riveting — with a single patron for this long. At least at this job, and especially for free.

You were even beginning to consider giving him your number, should he ask for it. But that was yet to be seen.

“I’m serious,” he said.

“Oh, I believe you,” you smirked in return, not letting on if you meant it or not.

The two of you held each other’s gazes for a charged moment, trying to get a better read of each other in the low light. You saw both mirth and earnestness in his eyes — but no trace of anything that should raise any flags — and you found yourself getting just a little more comfortable.

It was easy to talk to him, but he was still very much a stranger. You didn’t want to let yourself get too excited, but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t continue testing the waters. After all, he’d been pretty well behaved so far, and you always liked to reward good behavior.

Once more you had to pull yourself away to attend to someone, but at least the place was getting emptier as it got later. You could feel his gaze trailing you this time, and you glanced over your shoulder to send a wink his way.

“Psst,” Josephine hissed in your direction. “Why don’t you take fifteen? I’ve got things handled here.”

You hesitated. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure,” she scoffed. “Go on now, have a little fun.”

You waved her off, but smiled appreciatively. On your way to the other side of the bar, you grabbed yourself a beer and then plopped down on the stool next to Aaron’s. He turned to face you, his knees barely grazing yours. The small contact was innocent enough, but you still felt the smallest tingle down your spine. You clinked your bottle against his glass in a little toast.

“You were right, you know?” He said, looking at the side of your face as you drank. “You really are helping me feel better.”

“Aw shucks, that means I’m good at my job,” you said teasingly, which made him playfully roll his eyes.

“Tell me more about you. Why is it that they call you Honey?” he asked.

“Aren’t I sweet?” You pouted, pretending to be hurt.

He chuckled. “I think you are. Is that the whole reason?”

You nodded, omitting the fact that it also happened to be your stage name – Honey Bun. Sticky sweet; All satin and glitter and softness. Of course, that wasn’t the same you that was sitting across from him now.

“I think you have a very pretty name, too,” he leaned against the bar, resting his temple on his fist. “Is it too forward of me to ask to call you by it? Unless you prefer…”

You waved him off. “How can I decline when you ask so nicely?”

The two of you lost track of time as you continued talking and joking and teasing each other. Laughter seemed to come so easily around him, and there were virtually no awkward pauses between the two of you. It was almost too good to be true.

You told Aaron about some of the wilder things you’d witnessed working at the Duchess, looping Josephine into the conversation at one point. You never even noticed she didn’t call you back from your break, too absorbed in letting loose for once. Even if it was only for a little while, and not entirely.

Much too soon, last call was announced, and you realized that it was nearly two AM. Most people had left, and someone was sweeping as the tables were being stacked.

“Oh, wow, closing time,” you remarked. “I guess time does fly when you’re having fun, huh?”

You got up from your seat to start helping out, giving him a small, almost sheepish grin. You’d had a really nice time, but he was still a customer and couldn’t stick around as you wrapped up for the night. You tried to think of the nicest way to kick him out… even if a teenie tiny part of you didn’t want him to leave.

Aaron looked around as if coming out of a daze. He glanced at his watch and stood, gathering his things. “So it seems.”

“The Duchess just has that effect on people. I should have warned you.”

“I have to say, I think this place is growing on me,” he admitted. “Would you mind if I visited more often?”

“It’s a free country, you can do whatever you want,” you smiled, and in your smile there was an invitation— or perhaps a dare?

And in his, you could see that he was ready to take it.

Still, to your surprise and slight chagrin, he did not ask for your contact information. Perhaps it was his way of continuing to be respectful. Or maybe, this encounter had merely been a reprieve from the day to day for both of you. Nothing more.

For a moment, you wondered if things would have gone down differently had you met in the Crimson Lounge instead of the Duchess. The thought made a small thrill dance in your chest, but you tried not to chase it further. Of course things would have gone down differently. You probably wouldn’t have talked nearly as much.

So you took what you could get, blowing a flirty kiss in his direction as he departed. It was better not to get attached, anyway.

#aaron hotchner #criminal minds fanfiction #Aaron Hotchner series #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x stripper!reader #aaron hotchner angst #minors dni #ssa aaron hotchner

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rphunter · 2 months

Note

Sending this again since I think it got lost (and it's been a week I think)

Been trying to find some new people for weeks but something's not clicking, so I'm trying again😃

I'm a 24+ female, looking for some mxf plots. Mostly fandomless oc x oc, but I'm also into a handful of anime fandoms (and there's also genshin for anyone who's interested) so feel free to ask if you'd like! Doubling is welcome and even encouraged and I can play any gender pairing for you!

Now, let's get the boring stuff out first. I'm big on communication and ooc chatter, which may or may not include moodboards and playlists. I just really wanna talk, so if you can't match that energy, I'm afraid we won't work. Please communicate if you're not feeling the plot, want to change it or need a break for a few days, communication is key and I'll do the same. Ofc, I'll do the same! Ghost me and I'm gonna block you, I've had enough of people disappearing only to reappear a month later.

Another big issue I've had recently is regarding FCs, now I'm not picky so idc what you use as your FC (or who). Sketch, Picrew or a real person, take your pick (even if you don't have a FC, I don't mind. My imagination is decent!). But I personally use Bing.ai to make my OCs and I'm not gonna change that, it just makes me feel closer to the OC. So please respect that if I'm respecting your choice.

With that out, here's the things I'm interested in. I don't have a hard and fixed plot rn, and would rather like to worldbuild with partners, I adore worldbuilding! Still, here's a few tropes (all of them are romantic):

1. Slice of Life (friends/enemies/strangers to lovers, uni au, barista au, just anything)

2. Dark romance/unhealthy relationships/yandere stuff (even taboo ones really, like step-siblings or something)

3. Bonus if there's an age gap trope (not too much, about 10-12 yrs at max) and student-teacher tropes (both adults ofc)

4. Fantasy (pretty much anything, vampires, witches, fae, angels/demons etc)

5. Medieval/historic (Victorian era or old Japanese/Chinese ages, whatever. Goes perfectly with fantasy)

6. Mafia-ish au

7. Soulmate au (one of my personal favs, got so many ideas for this)

8. Marriage of convenience/arranged marriage tropes

As for writing, I write third person mirror, exclusively on discord. I can reply at least once every 2-3 days (if I'm swamped) and more if I'm enjoying, and I expect the same energy unless you inform me you're gonna be busy. Other stuff can be discussed privately. If this interests you even in the least, find me @ clumsy_and_cutie (on discord) or just leave a like and I'll reach out!

#oc roleplay #oc rp #mxf

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rodolfoparras · 2 months

Note

Pinky promise I will write more for the concept of turning homophobic dude into your puppy and breeding bitch as soon as I have time. I also wanted to write you something for your birthday but I genuinely don't have time at all 😔

Since my co-worker is on vacation and we only work one shift (aka mine) I am swarmed the entire day and I have cried from stress nearly every day this week and I basically never cry. Also I had customer yell at me and threaten me two days ago and I was certain he would attack me?? He might've if another customer didn't walk in and it was for his mistake too. And when I tried to tell him that and offer to correct it, he got worse. Thankfully my manager is really nice and he told me I could've called him and police and that I should next time.

I really miss being here and every day and interacting with people but like...I barely see my dog because most of them home is spent sleeping. And the play I'm in is in like two weeks and I didn't have time or energy to properly learn my lines yet and we're supposed that have rehearsals before work next week and ngl I feel like throwing myself off of the building. (And I didn't even start with my final paper for college). Also I had bit of a cold and hell of a sore throat, I could barely speak and it hurt to swallow :((

There was so much I wanted to talk about and comment on but I literally don't have energy to type and I wish I could psychically send my thoughts to my phone. I hope you're doing better than I am though ✨🫶🏻 I'm on a hunt for less stressful job, hopefully something online so I can do it when I start college again this year (after two years).

(and side note but I love the idea of period sex but in reality because of my pcos and other problems, I am in way too much pain to do anything irl which sucks. But there are fanfics and roleplaying 😌 and the anon who mentioned this and said they have vampire thing are so real, me too bestie. And thank you for providing links of my husband, trans Simon is elite)

-🔮

Dw sugar bee!! You pop in whenever you have time!! And besides I appreciate the fact that you wanted to write me something sweet in the first place as we say down there it’s like you already did it so thank you lovey!

Sugar bee :(( that sounds absolutely horrible I’m so sorry angel customer service can be hell on earth especially down in the Balkans they really should have security work alongside cashier bc that’s what they do here you never know what can happen you know it’s okay to feel upset about it and cry it out just rmr that it was his fault and customers in general can be devils my cousin worked at a store for a short period of time and she says every time she passes it she gets physically sick bc ppl can be so nasty

And again like I said pop in whenever you can I understand you’re very busy rn and I hope things become less stressful so you can get some rest and spend time with your baby and of course to pop in here but I also have to say I admire you for balancing a job school and hobbies bc personally I wouldn’t be able to withstand this 😭

I also hope you get a much easier job so you don’t get burn out no offense but isn’t life crazy like you’re doing everything that’s expected of us have a job do school hobbies and you’re on the verge of getting burned out every day I am reminded of the hell on earth this is our society

Fanfics and roleplaying are definitely a good way to go about it! I mean might as well take the chance and have a vampire role play with your partner I mean who said that :/

#alec answers #🔮 anon

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fadinglights · 16 days

Text

very musey rn and still in a starter writing mood <3 like for a starter from the muses below and pls comment your preference for muse/plot or i'll dm you

anthony lee — 28, medium/café owner, bisexual, fc: greg hsu

maybe a muse who's a regular/co-worker with a crush on him?

someone he used to know before he dropped out of med school

maybe they're exes.... kind of the power couple back then that people thought were going to places but neither of their lives turned out as expected

ghost in his apartment/cafe or anything supernatural!

he's brought to a blind date gathering thingy as his friend's support animal and oh wow actually glad he's here cause it's how he met your muse who's maybe a bit jaded in love but hit the jackpot with him (they both did) </3

pak seojung — 26, verse dependent, homosexual, fc: cha eunwoo

heir verse: our muses are in love except he's set up for an arranged marriage.... childhood best friends who are also rivals turned lovers <333

musican/idol verse: secret relationship with another celebrity/someone he works with/someone he knew before he's famous, or a pr relationship turned too real???

assassin/mutant verse: our muses knew each other before they got kidnapped to the academy to be trained into ruthless killers? they could be each other's lifeline </3

im hana — 28, assassin, bisexual, fc: han sohee

two criminals (could be another assassin, a mafia associate she works for, etc.) who fell in love accidentally when collaborating together, maybe both are allergic to emotions but they're so attached they act like an old married couple oops

a throuple within said criminal organisation... imagine

two assassins trying to hunt each other down and it becomes near obsessive... a classic i can never get enough of

she's assigned to be your muse's bodyguard and she's terribly, TERRIBLY annoyed cause that's literally not part of the job description

someone unhinged and obsessed with her... could kill for a totally different reason (to her it's just a job) or even a serial k*ller

someone she hooks up with under an alias and is unfortunately falling for her... could be someone out of the criminal world and totally oblivious. or, plot twist what if they appear on her hitlist or if THEY are the one who has to kill her... tragic

someone who showed her warmth when she's in her darkest period... could be her only friend in life </3

song yuna — 30, con artist/art forger, bisexual, fc: im jinah

honestly most plots for hana applies for her minus the m*rder and stuff... the emotion phobia stays

begrudgingly partners in crime in a heist, they hate each other but oops she might have saved their ass or vice versa and it's awkward cause maybe they don't hate each other as much as they thought...

give me a cliché she's patching up a wounded person or she's getting patched up, maybe that's when they realise the other isn't as bad as they thought??? or maybe they've always had feelings for each other and it takes a near death situation for it to spill

LISTEN but i'm obsessed with this: two con artists who spend their grand holiday spewing lies to each other and accidentally fall in love, only to realise they're being lied to?????? maybe they become partners in crime then... a true power couple, maybe they run

childhood best friends reuniting... your muse could be one of her mother's terrible friends' child and they both basically got raised by a bunch of criminal addicts who were awful parents, no they raised themselves tbh

something about her art forgery business.... could be a museum heist or your muse having their work copied by her and is terribly amused and impressed (your muse could be a vampire aka the dead artist but she's selling them 'their' art)

elodie yoon — 25, designer/mafia heiress, bisexual, fc: kim yoojung

'i'm your ex and once i got into a near-death situation with criminals and they left me alone cause i'm in your protection list???? explain'

best friends to lovers, your muse could be from a family of crime too or works for hers

rivals to best friends to lovers.... give me children of rivaling families who fall in love and say fuck it...

bodyguard/protectee plot because yes (warning she's a menace)

a partner unaware of her background, until that one time they have to suddenly start running for their lives on a cute date????

leah willems — 30, er doctor, bisexual, fc: davika hoorne

something something spicy with a colleague (doctor, nurse, therapist etc)... in my medical drama era tbh

they're in a perfect marriage except it's falling apart and maybe your muse is cheating and regretting it when she finds out </3 maybe they even work in the same hospital gASP

your muse is the barista of the coffee shop she always goes to for her caffeine fix but she fell off the radar for a while and your muse is lowkey worried????

our muses used to date in high school, were the power couple and broke up due to long distance? now they meet again years later, maybe in her er or a reunion event idk

#( i have a problem but do i care <3 )#open rp #open starter #indie rp #indie starter #indie crime rp #indie gay rp #indie lesbian rp #indie bi rp #starter calls.

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watatsumiis · 1 year

Note

Hey hey!!! I love your writing so much, it satiates my hunger for fluff so much!! I was wondering if you could do some writing for Thoma? He’s my comfort character rn hehe, but feel free to include any of your faves too if you decide to take on this request!

I was thinking it would be interesting to see how he’d react to crushing on/dating a shapeshifting reader! I was reading his lines about his yokai interests the other day and thought this would be super cute, also I haven’t really seen anyone else do it! Also bonus points if they had some animal-ish features, like a tail, ears, maybe some clawed hands?

Thank you for writing! I’m wishing you well! 💕

Hi hi !!!! Waah thank you so much for your kind words !! I’m so so sorry it took me so long to get around to this, hopefully Thoma is still a comfort character for you >_> This idea has been rotating gently in the back of my brain for a hot minute because it’s just so sweet and fun and I really wanted to do it justice because I really do adore Thoma, he’s kind of got big brother vibes to me and that's just. <3

Anyways, some rambling below the cut! Gender neutral reader who can shapeshift into various animalistic forms, as well as a humanoid one (with ears, claws and a tail!)

It may take Thoma some time to notice your presence in the Chinju Forest - there's a huge variety of strange creatures wandering around there, including ones that have the ability to take on humanish forms. But before long, he starts to spot you from the corner of his eye and takes an immediate interest, since he’s been reading so much about yokai recently, he absolutely has to investigate!

It’s almost like a game of hide-and-seek to him - he doesn’t outright chase you, but he certainly makes attempts to follow and track this new forest inhabitant. When that doesn’t work, he tries to bribe you into coming out into the open, leaving yummy snacks and shiny trinkets out in places he’s spotted you in more than once. He catches on to the shapeshifting aspect of you fairly quickly thanks to your distinct mannerisms and markings.

Thoma is nothing if not persistent - there’s no way he’ll stop bombarding you with niceties until he’s managed to befriend you (and even then he’ll keep going!). He’s well trusted by even the more mischievous creatures in the forest because of how he brings any leftover food from the estate to hand out to others.

He’s super excited when you finally deign to approach him for the first time, but he works very hard to reign it in, worried about accidentally scaring you off. It’s almost painfully obvious that he has about eight trillion questions for you, and his fingers twitch as he suppresses the urge to reach out and touch your fluffy ears and tail. He makes sure to speak in a soft, kind voice while moving very slowly towards you as he introduces himself.

Thoma is extraordinarily patient - though he can get overexcited pretty easily at times, he does his very best not to startle you or do anything that might scare you off. He takes note of your favourite kinds of snacks and trinkets and brings them along whenever he visits. He usually drops by around midafternoon on sunny days, shortly after lunch once he’s finished hanging the laundry. Some days, he’s too busy to make it, which he’s so apologetic for, bringing you extra offerings to make up for it.

He has so many questions for you, from every category you could possibly think of, he tries to be considerate and not ask anything that pries too much, but he may occasionally let something odd slip out (“Can you even wear hats with big ears like that? Wait, was that a mean question. Is it a sensitive subject? I’m sorry - hey, why are you laughing?!”). He’s super fascinated by your shapeshifting abilities, and will often ask to see them in action.

Thoma often talks about how lucky he is to have you as a friend, and how cool it is that he’s friends with an ‘actual, real-life, honest-to-archons yokai!’

He also has a bit of a tricky side himself, and will more than happily engage in miniature prank wars with you - once, this culminated in him treating some random forest creature like you for a solid several days. You’re never quite sure if he had really fallen that hard for your trickery or he was just toying with you in return, but it was pretty funny to watch him have a fully-fledged one-sided conversation with a squirrel.

Thoma likes interconnecting his friend groups, and will tentatively offer to introduce you to some of his other contacts (only if you’re comfortable with it, of course). He’s super lovely and excited about it all, and makes sure that nobody ever feels left out or overwhelmed. He’ll extend invites to various events and festivals, but he never gets upset if you turn him down for whatever reasons. He’s just super glad to be your friend!

Please don’t repost or use my writing anywhere else!

#theres also a separate drabble in the works for this au because its so cute and i had inspiration and couldnt help myself #general howls #asks #thoma #thoma x reader #thoma x you #yokai reader #yokai!reader #thoma x yokai!reader #my writing #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin impact #genshin impact fluff #x reader #genshin thoma #genshin impact thoma

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betterfettered · 7 months

Note

Hihi! I just came across ur account and I’ve been binge reading it~ I love ur work sm!! If you’re taking requests rn can I request a part 2 of yandere blade kidnapping us where it gets to the point where we can’t stop thinking about him and we’re so desperate for him that we start asking people about his whereabouts and we finally find him and you can make up the rest~ The last one was just lowkey angsty and it’s such a cliffhanger! if you decide to write it I would love that smmmm!

Cya! - New Anon

bahaha newnon!! i'm really glad you liked my bladie trash. my brainrot and obsession is real, but these days its a little less feral. i had a hard time writing a part two because i didn't want anything too bad to happen to darling, but...well...blade is bad hahahaha i hope you enjoy it, even though its not smutty!

(Gn!reader x AMAB!yandere, please let me know if reader is gendered)(references to noncon)(violence against reader)(plus size reader 💖🫡)(18+ readers only please, mdni)(Please let me know if I am missing a TW)

[This is fetish content and rape and abuse are disgusting and inexcusable in real life.]

These days you think often about the first day that Blade locked you away. After he’d assaulted you that first time, you only waited long enough that you were absolutely sure he was gone before you got up, hastily wrapping a sheet around yourself and trying not to think about the body fluids that made the threadbare fabric cling to your skin. You were thinking that if you got back to your room and took a really hot shower and got drunker than you’d ever been before, drunk enough that you would come back into your body and cry like crazy but still be able to feel the parts of you that felt ruined even though you could not feel them now, you would spend the next few days nursing the hangover and then go back to business as normal. Of course, you didn’t think that would be enough to pretend that it never happened, but it would be enough for you to get back to normal. You had a family to support. There was not time for “trauma”.

You couldn’t remember what happened between realizing the door was locked and him appearing again, only the terror of what had happened and what was happening and what was going to happen when he returned for you. There was the vague memory of thinking that you didn’t really have the body of a sex slave, that you had fat one could grab here and there and all over, so maybe he was planning to kill you when he returned. These days you wish he had.

At this point you know it had been three months he kept you, and then another month of recovering in the hospital. Your family had already received an elaborate explanation of where you had been and did not mind your absence because you had mysterious been granted a shockingly lavishly paid leave that partially paid out to them somehow. So now, you just needed to go back to work, maybe call a few friends to chat, maybe spend some of your new money on extraterrestrial deserts or luxury clothing. If only you went to a high end make up store, they could magic the emptiness out of your eyes.

And yet, you still thought of him endlessly.

Conversation with other people felt bounced off of your eardrums uselessly because they did not fixate on fear like you did. The little flashes of sleep you could grab here and there always woke you up screaming, curling up against your pillows and trembling and waiting for violence that existed only in your mind to end. And yet, in those moments of silence when you wondered about the gap between yourself and those around you, you knew that only he would understand. The sick mockery of affection that existed between you two was more comforting to remember than any touches of those around you, which always made you leave your body.

You decided to kill him, unaware how staggeringly naïve that idea was. It was the only thing that could bring your peace.

When you finally find him, he is sitting in a drawing room, his arms around his sword and his attention focused on the far end of the room from you. You close the door behind you as quietly as you can, knowing that you will be found quickly but hoping it will be after you had done this one thing. Watching his hair hanging behind him, this one thing; watching his shoulders square with a deep breath, this one thing; watching him tip his head all the way back so he could see you, his eyes cutting right through you so piercingly that you hands started to shake, struggling to clutch the knife you’d brought. This one thing.

“Do it,” he said.

“Wh-what?”

“If you came to kill me, then do it.”

You don’t respond and so he stands, casting a paralyzing fear over you all over again. You can barely feel your body as he plucks the blade from your grasp, grabbing you by the throat and walking you backwards until you’re held firmly against the wall by his body. You are shaking so badly that the only part of you that didn’t move were your eyes, which are pinned on his face and blurring with tears as he laughs.

“So then if you won’t kill me, is this what you came back for? To be fucked and beaten like trash?”

“I hate you,” you sob.

“Then slit my throat,” he says, the levity leaving his expression and being replace by cold nothing. “Take this knife and do it now.”

You can’t do it. He throws you to the ground, tossing the knife at you carelessly and strides out without even bothering to strip you as a threat. It won’t occur to you until later, when your panic and fury and despair and shame subside, that yet again he’d chosen to leave you alive.

#betty fetty

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corruptedplaylist · 7 months

Text

act iii: final notes

edit: 4/9/2024: added some more stuff!!! i'll put this emoji 🫧 next to the new things so u know where to scroll.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH I FINISHED MY FIRST FULL LENGTH FIC HOLD ON LEMME JUST THROW UP IN THE CORNER REAL QUICK

i am sooooooo normal rn anyways let's get into it thank u for having me on the show, mr. kimmel. i've had a raging headache all day so the content underneath each sections will be kinda short. i'll go through and add more to it once i recover but i wanted to get this up before the week got too busy!

krolia

guys…. im so sorry for the angst….. it was necessary for the plot…….

maybe it’s just me projecting but in the actual show, i kind of wish we had seen more of the emotional fallout that occurred after krolia revealed that she was keith’s mom. because let’s be real here, there’s no way that keith’s traumatized ass would just willingly accept her back into his life. he’d have questions. he’d be in disbelief. it’s hard for him to open up to others and he carries a lot of hurt from being abandoned.

it was crucial in the course of this fic to have that confrontation between krolia and keith. it's not always going to be rainbows and sunshine, and even though they both missed each other deeply, you don't just automatically connect and forget everything that's happened. even if keith hadn't gone into the foster system, he definitely would have carried a lot of anger and hurt towards krolia when she shows back up. i'm sure that things won't just be smooth sailing and they'll need to hash things out multiple times as they rebuild their relationship but that first fight was a big hurdle to get over.

if you’re curious, i have a whooollleeee backstory for what happened with krolia and why she couldn’t get back to her kid. i couldn’t really fit it into the fic but i’ll put it right here for those who are interested:

2000: krolia in the US on student visa, first year of of PhD program

krolia meets heath and they fall in love

2003: krolia gives birth to keith

2008: krolia finishes grad school/PhD program/doctoral degree and applies for a work visa

2009: she and heath and baby keith are living their life but krolia’s parents find out and are like girl you need to come home NOW or we will disown you

krolia’s family are really wealthy and powerful

krolia: i’ll come back for you guys idk how but i will

krolia goes back to the states

2009-2011: she and heath write letters but then the letters start getting intercepted by the family and eventually peters out

krolia in arranged marriage and thinks her partner forgot about her or didn’t care

meanwhile heath doesn’t know what happened to krolia but can’t do anything about it bc she’s in a diff country and he doesn’t speak korean

2011: heath and keith move to texas for job or whatever

heath tells keith all about krolia and how she loves him but can’t be there and obvi that fucks keith up bc he misses his mom but where tf is she? how does he know she loves him if she’s not even there? he's a little kid

2013: heath dies and keith is put into the system

heath has no other family members

krolia put her english name on the birth certificate and so ofc she doesn’t exist in the US

texas social services try to reach out to krolia along with some friends but letters are intercepted

2016: someone reaches out to krolia after she finally gets facebook

friend: thinking of you. miss you. so sorry about heath

krolia: …. what the fuck about heath?

friend: uhhhhhhhh

krolia goes on rampage to her family like wtf u mean u didn’t tell me that the father of my child is dead

cousin shows up with the intercepted letters (official notice from social services, heath’s letters and pictures, keith’s little notes and drawings)

krolia starts the process of legally and financially emancipating herself from her family (she basically was Britney’d)

2017/2018: finally is free and able to get a job in the states

starts tracking down heath (they only had a forwarding address for krolia so they’re like wtf who is this bih)

at this point, keith has already met the shiroganes and changed his name

krolia is in a different state and can only do so much

spends the next few years trying to find him, hires P.I., again keep running into blocks bc social workers and case managers are NOT going to budge on giving up keith's personal information

2023, winter break: krolia reaches out to keith through facebook but it goes into his spam since they’re not facebook friends

allura

what better allegory for sacrificing yourself to save the universe is there than graduating college? in all fairness, i felt like sticking to the notion of allura saying goodbye and leaving the group had its merit, just y’know, i wanted to take a step down from the whole dying thing. i tried to pay homage to the canon material as much as possible while also providing my own spin on things.

one thing that’s been important to me is depicting allura as a college student. sure, while i think most iterations of allura as a kind and a great leader and intelligent are great, even in modern au fics, i just wish there had been a bit more... silliness? outside of her being like the girlboss, the hell yeah supporting character or love interest or bone-tired leader, i always wonder what she would have been like if she hadn't had to save the universe and was just trying to heal on her own terms. yeah, i nerfed her parents in this universe but i tried to showcase her doing normal college things as well, like presenting at research conferences, getting a bit messy drunk, having pizza nights and group hang outs. the funny thing about grief is that life does not stop for it, so you have to just figure things out along the way.

i also didn't want to elaborate too much on her relationship with lotor. she didn't magically heal from that one conversation with lance in chapter 8 but i wanted the readers to get a taste of what was going on in her head through their dialogue. plus, it was a little moment to show how she was allowing herself to open up to other people like lance. no one woman is an island, no matter how much of a bad b!tch you are.

🫧 also, i wanted to include it somewhere but basically, keith knew allura and romelle were hooking up since chapter 14! keith caught romelle sneaking out of allura's room early one morning and he just kept it to himself because snitches get stitches.

pidge

they are so precious to me. they're an amalgamation of 2 of my closest friends, and well, me.

i always knew that pidge was going to be a super important piece in klance development. while lance and keith are great friends, i think pidge played a crucial role in bridging them together in the beginning, before the two of them had cleared up their misunderstandings and made that truce. sure, allura asked them to be on the paintball team but pidge really forced the two of them into close quarters. lance might have extended the offer to keith to hand out without pidge or he might not have. honestly, i'm not really sure. but pidge inviting keith to hang out in chapter 4 was a quiet but big moment because both keith and lance are friends with pidge and will set aside their differences long enough to tolerate each other's presence in a shared space. pidge just has #babyofthefriendgroup privileges.

🫧 i honestly think that after the main two, pidge has undergone the most growth (physically and emotionally) throughout the fic, even though they're a supporting character. we can all benefit from community and friendship but i think pidge needed it a little bit more.

🫧 i partially wrote pidge to represent my younger self, especially when i first attended college. i was scared and alone and i had never been away from home and it was a struggle to form new relationships (and figure out my gender identity. mannnnnn fuck that). it was nice to see pidge find their place and niche among the greater social fabric of college, kind of like comforting my younger self for all the loneliness and uncertainty i endured.

hunk

i love hunk so dearly. ngl, i wanted him to have a bigger arc than he did but hopefully i did a decent job at making feel more well-rounded as a supporting character. i decided to actually kind of lean into this distance in the later chapters as well, esp from lance's pov, as they both got busier. at the end of the day, though, i knew that those two would come back together. hunk is a kind and sympathetic friend and his and lance's friendship will persevere because they're good communicators. their little talk in chapter 17 was me talking to myself and to anyone else who has went through a similar thing where they find themselves drifting a little farther from a friend.

people get busy and that's okay! there will be ebbs and flows in every relationship. even though shared history is a crucial part of a friendship but it can't be the only thing that will keep it going. you need to nurture it and tend to it in order for it to keep it alive and flourishing. hunk understands this and he and lance will be just fine after their talk. hunk is probably the most emotionally intelligent person after adam in the group, and i'm glad he was there to help both lance and keith out when they needed it.

adam

this man!!!!! got i have gotten so fucking attached to adam throughout this fic. he is so dear to me. i know in chapter 10 i wrote from adam's pov and he's a goofy guy in his twenties who's just trying to be a good dad friend but somehow he ended up being a voice of reason and comfort for klance in this fic. lance misses his family a lot and i think adam can not only relate to lance with the homesickness but also lance has started to rely on him a bit like he would with his siblings.

i wanted to try my own spin on adam and keith's relationship. i've seen fics where adam and keith hate each other, don't interact much, or adam takes on a parenting role towards keith as a kid. i wanted to look at keith and adam in the context of two people who both love shiro and then grow to be good friends/surrogate brother-in-law? idk. long story short, adam is very emotionally intelligent and i think he genuinely wanted to get to know keith outside of his connection with shiro and was patient enough to coax keith out of his shell. i tried to write in small ways adam takes care of keith like giving him LactoJoys because Keith likes the taste better than Lactaids, being there for him for his panic attack, adding food to his plate. things that won't draw too much attention, because we all know how keith is about receiving acts of kindness.

i mentioned this in a comment under one of the chapters but all of the advice adam gives keith is either advice i personally received myself or something i wish i could tell my younger self. i hope those words bring you comfort as well!

shiro

i had a lot more planned for shiro but goddammit i had no fucking time or space at this panned out. it's more so klance's story than shiro's.

look, there's a small moment in chapter 18 where shiro is very pleased (and a little surprised) that keith has talked about him with krolia. it has less to do with his faith in keith and more with how he sees himself. shiro has already acknowledged that he has heavy imposter syndrome and deals with his own struggles with self image. it's just always a jolt to your system when someone (could be your own family or your partner of years) validates your relationship.

shiro loves keith very much and just wants to be the best big brother. he has such eldest child syndrome, where he tries to pretend that everything is fine even though things are actually crumbling around him. the thing is, though, you can't build intimacy— real, lasting intimacy and depth in a relationship— without being vulnerable. shiro understands that even though he wants keith to work on opening up, he has to do the same and reciprocate the actions, or else neither of them will really get anywhere and be stuck in that loop of "are you mad at me/i feel like you're hiding something from me/i don't really know who you are."

i tried writing a bit from shiro's pov but i quickly realized that that would drastically change the tone of the fic so i had to scrap it. i might post a little oneshot in the distant future with adashi, though.

keith

🫧 i've talked about this before but although i think keith grew the most as a character in the canon show, that shit was WAY too fast and off-screen. also, i know that the whole found family trope is what drew a lot of fans to voltron in the first place (like me) but is the found family in the room with us rn? i felt like they all started to fall apart or at least weren't as close as the show wanted us to believe. it felt a lot like telling with no showing. other than some occasional moments in the show, the whole #teamasfamily felt hollow.

🫧 i wanted to build on this potential found family for keith's character. he's never had a support system before and he's used to pushing people away but now he has a whole ass friend group that's ready to fight for him if he gives the word.

🫧 initially, when i was writing keith's pov and trying to get a feel for his voice and tone, i struggled a bit. keith is one of those characters that i liked and sympathized with, but getting into his head was a whole different story. i'm more of a lance kinnie but once i got the hand of keith's voice, it was a lot easier. some of my best pieces of writing are from keith's pov! i tried to be as cognizant of keith's development as much as possible as i wrote (think me having various checkpoints for his journey whereas with lance i could just coast on vibes), and i'm pleased with how far he's come.

🫧 although both keith and lance's progress can showcased through their consciousness and thoughts (like duh ur reading from their povs), i leaned into keith's behavior as a way to portray his progress a bit more than lance. things like him being more open to physical affection, not sitting on the outskirts of group dynamics and sticking to shiro, and allowing himself to collect things, which by the way:

🫧 i like the idea of keith's room, once being so empty and ghost-like, is now full of stuff, mementos of his relationships that he's built. i tried to sprinkle in some relics from past chapters (paintball flag, polaroids, ticket stubs), as well add some new tidbits, like shiro giving him a cacti and that korean cookbook!

proud of u, keith bby <3

lance and marco

no i did not just torture lance for the sake of torturing him i would never do that to my boy.

i know this is a fanfiction, but from the start, i wanted to ground this fic in reality and breathe some life into it. lance's little arc with his brother having a substance abuse problem was loosely inspired by events in my personal life.

🫧 i'm not saying that everyone goes through something as drastic as a loved one going to rehab, but as young adults, when we leave home for uni, jobs, other opportunities, etc, there's this worry that something bad will happen while we're away. and often times it does. someone gets sick, a beloved pet passes away, it's all bound to happen. your childhood becomes a thing of the past, and things that you thought would stay the same just won't.

i projected a lot of my feelings onto lance ngl, and writing him work through his own grief and guilt over not being able to be with his family when they're going through a crisis helped me process a little bit more.

although lance had a happier ending than a lot of families might get in reality, i still wanted to show lance having a support system at college and realizing that he has a second family to lean on, and people who love and support him. he doesn't have to pretend to be okay for anyone and that's okay.

black paladin lance or as close to it as i could get

it was so important for me to make lance the new captain of their paintball team, as a stand-in for the black paladin arc he could have had in the show. he’s always been a selfless guy who puts others first and really pulls up when he needs to. he deserves to be recognized for that. not only did every single one of his friends validate him, but the person he looks up to the most literally endorsed him. lance struggles with his inferiority complex and the election scene was a little feel good moment for me, personally, so that he could receive the acknowledgement he deserves, especially with his growth. he's gonna be an awesome team captain (he'll be shuffling down to shiro's room at 2am covered in hickeys and talking about paintball strategies).

wrapping up loose ends

i tried to wrap up as many loose ends as possible and give all the characters a proper send-off. originally i wanted lance and hunk to also move into the house in castle street, like repurpose the basement or something but i realized that that just wasn’t possible because most college basements don’t even have heating or like,,,, a livable arrangement.

ultimately, i think it makes sense for pidge to be the one to take up allura’s room at the house. pidge has lived a single during the academic year but they also had lance and hunk right fifty feet away so it’s not like they REALLY lived alone that year. there was also the logistics of the house having a vacant room, and as much as i would have loved to have all of voltron under the same roof (hunk and pidge sharing a room, keith and lance sharing a room), i think they would kill each other. pidge filling in the gap felt like the right move. and lance and hunk are gonna be over a lot anyways, so it’s not like much has changed in the trio's group dynamic.

🫧 what was your favorite chapter to write?

i think i have different chapters in mind for different reasons, even if it's a copout answer. here are the chapters that are dearest to me:

chapter 4: recalibration this is the chapter where i really got to play around with character interactions. keith and lance's worlds were beginning to integrate in chapter 3 but in this chapter, i got to explore different friendships, like keith & pidge and lance & hunk, and the dynamics they entailed. you can see how important these friendships are to both lance and keith, and how their connection with others eventually helps them to reflect on their previous feelings toward each other, like "hmm maybe i've been too harsh with the other."

chapter 10: let's go to the beach the group dynamics were so solidified to this point, and it was so fun to write. i loved writing from adam's pov and being able to zoom out and showcase klance's relationship progression.

the winter break interludes i waxed poetic about these in a previous faq but to reiterate: i'm really pleased with the way each individual chapter turned out. i love a good character study, and it was a great challenge to my writing and characterization to dig deeper into their home lives and see how the past confronted the present, where their respective childhoods were brought into the light, and how long-held notions of belonging, home, and identity were challenged and remolded.

chapter 17: warm and light my beta reader drunkenguac said that this was some of my best writing and i've been coasting off of that validation for the past 4 months. keith's reunion with his mother was especially cathartic for me. as an adoptee, writing this chapter honestly helped me work through some of my feelings about my adoption as i pictured what it would look like if i was ever reunited with my birth mother. i'm very fortunate that i didn't have to go through the same experiences keith did, but i tried to imbue as much humanness as possible into his section.

chapter 18: moving on it just felt like a proper send-off, the one that we never got from s8 of voltron. i wanted the last chapter to basically have this vibe of "hey, things won't be the same but it's going to be okay because we have each other." when shiro tells matt in the end, "we'll still be here," that's me as the author, telling you, the reader, that this fic will still be here whenever you want to revisit it. it was a comfort to write and i've heard that it's a comfort to read, which is so so so gratifying. when i set out to write this fic in august of 2023, i didn't have any plans of grandeur or even expect like more than 100 people read it— it was just a passion project that i decided to share, and i'm glad that others have sought safety in it. outside of fandom, this fic is a love letter to my own college experience. i remember reading a college au fic when i was still in high school and lonely and closeted and repressed and wondering if i would ever be able to get out of my hometown and find a community as tightly-knit as the fic portrayed it. in a way, i got to reflect on my college experience by writing looking out for you. i find solace in this fic when i read back over it, and i can see aspects of my adventures throughout my freshman and sophomore and junior and senior years, waving from behind a thinly veiled curtain. this fic is dedicated to all the people who made my college experience.

anyways that's me rambling for now! thank you again to everyone who has tuned into looking out for you. this is the first piece of creative writing i've done in a long time, and i never expected to actually finish it. i'm so happy with the way it turned out and the love it's received. until next time!

#ao3 fanfic #voltron legendary defender #klance #college au #lance mcclain #keith kogane #takashi shirogane #adam voltron #hunk garrett #pidge holt #allura vld #graduation #faq #character study #relationship #connection #fuck s8 let's talk about the REAL ending of voltron #allura does not die #character development

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orchidyoonkook · 1 year

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Life, Book, and Writing Update (long):

Hey guys, just writing a little long overdue letter to let you know whats been going on in my life and why I haven't been as active, so lets dive in.

Firstly, my job. My job has been hell on wheels from the middle of May and continuing on until now. I have been semi-actively looking for a new one the entire time this has been happening, with little to no luck which sucks (job market is HELLA insane where I live rn), but it is what it is. My job wont give me hours and therefore I am not getting money and so I'm really stressed because in order to live and have a roof over my head I basically sit in my house all day stressing over many things such as:

The next life update; Moving. I'm moving! After three years in my very first apartment I'm moving with my partner into a nice new place with a friend (the only way we could afford too). But that has also been extremely stressful as it was something that was quite literally decided down to the minute and we were worried we weren't going to get a place on time but we managed with 4 days to spare. This last week has been helping our friend pack and move and unpack and try and figure out who's keeping what and what's going where and more brain vomit I won't bore you with. But that's been.... a lot on my plate in my irl. Taking up most of my thoughts.

Which brings me to why I haven't been updating my writing frequently. My writing is different from other folks on here in the sense that writing isn't an outlet for me. I don't do it to destress or to get my feelings out or any of that jazz. My writing is because I enjoy telling stories, and for me I have to be in the mindset to write otherwise I can stare at the page all day and get zero done. All the words jumble kind of like that one scene from percy jackson (movie) and it's a mess. That's what's been happening these past few months of editing. I'll get a couple paragraphs in and then it's like my brain goes into tv static. I hate it, but every little bit of progress is progress.

And lastly, the book: The pre-order was Not a scam, Not fake. Very VERY much a real thing. I have the paper with me and everything. I haven't taken your info and done anything with it, I super duper pinky swear promise. It is sitting securly where I asked you to give it to me, has not been touched or tampered with, and I will be working on making them so so soon to get out to you wonderful humans who wanted them. Once moving is done and I have a printer again with ink that works it's my number 1 TO-DO.

If you have signed up, you WILL get your book. I promise. I have a wonderful human who I met on here who can vouch for me too, she's met me irl and knows I'm a real human with the best intentions, just a little busy, brainfogged and battered from all of it.

If you have ANY questions about it please PLEASE feel free to reach out and ask. I will be 1000% transparent with everything.

But yeah, that's the gist of it, personal family drama and life aside. I'm trying my best, and nothing has been forgotten. I will be completing everything, in time. I promise.

I hope that's okay.

I love you,

Yoon <3

#personal #yoons ramblings #updates

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youremyheaven · 4 months

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(same ketu rising anon who sent you the ask just now)

ALSOOOOO I WOULD LIKE TO ADD MY 2 CENTS TO THE VENUS CONVO (i related to some parts of the venus and jupiter posts you had but my memory is not refreshed rn)

Bc first of all Indian men are trash, second of all, rich people are trash and a rich Indian man and his family are probably capable of god knows what insanity.

i laughed a lot at this but fucking hell dude you're so right.

also i adore art (well, writing, in my case). i think you're right it's really important to stay connected with art. i treat my art (writing) to an obsession's extent sometimes (might this be… ketu influence? 🤩 SORRYYYY forgive this amateur) and without it i get very restless.

and i have so many issues after the two relationships i mentioned and right now i am too busy to date????? BUT I STILL KEEP THINKING OF THE FUTURE AND DREADING SHIT? i keep thinking "oh i'll get married to some man who's going to use me. use my status. use my money." {not that i have much of either rn lmfao} and just generally worrying about shit that i dont need to think of?

100% agree with you about financial independence. i have no trust for people with money or power. who tf decided im the special person who'll make them good? 😂 real life isn't that kind. if someone DOES turn out to be nice, that's lovely. but it's an exception.

(on a more general note, i feel like my time on the internet has ruined me because real men will never treat me as gently as the silly fictional men and that just sucks sometimes LMAOOOO like i fantasise about having a husband in the future who doesnt hate the kids and doesnt hate me but idk man. idk if it's ever real. you lose faith in reality sometimes after caring about the ideal for so long. or something. sorry im just rambling now aghfhjghjda sorry you had to deal with this)

"also i adore art (well, writing, in my case). i think you're right it's really important to stay connected with art. i treat my art (writing) to an obsession's extent sometimes (might this be… ketu influence? 🤩 SORRYYYY forgive this amateur) and without it i get very restless."

being very art oriented = Venus and being obsessed with it is also Venusian, Ketu does add to it in your case, I think but Ketu's nature is just a perpetual state of detachment and obsession, so its kind of on and off

"BUT I STILL KEEP THINKING OF THE FUTURE AND DREADING SHIT? i keep thinking "oh i'll get married to some man who's going to use me. use my status. use my money." {not that i have much of either rn lmfao} and just generally worrying about shit that i dont need to think of?"

this is literally THE most Venusian thing everrr lmao,, Venusian women know that others see them as a status symbol lmao and they only get along with and get romantically involved with other Venusians bc they're afraid of how non-Venusians would use them for clout/money/looks etc

marrying for anything other than love is simply not worth it. men are going to be shitty regardless,, imagine marrying for money and not getting any AND you can't stand him AND have horrible sex??? like do women think rich men are stupid??? you wont get a penny out of him if things end,, they're sooo good at hiding away their assets and not paying alimony or fucking your life up just for fun. marry someone in your income bracket so that they do not have the power to ruin you forever and you have nothing to fight back with.

bestieee you just have to be delusional enough to believe that you will find a good man. most men are lowkey garbage but there ARE good people out there and you have to have faith that you will meet the right person who adores you, loves you (and the kids) and will do anything to make life easier for you. HE EXISTS.

8 billion people exist, so purely statistically speaking, he has to exist as well 😌

its okiee dw about rambling 🥺😘i find it cute how you guys tell me whats on your mind, makes me feel like im your mom 🤰🏻👩🏻‍🍼i hope my future kids also love talking to me and telling me whatever's on their mind 🥰

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