#(thor firmly believes that love is something /he/ needs to earn. that HE needs to be 'worthy' of.)

[magnusmodig]

╰┈➤ VI TALKS ABOUT THOR/MCU / anon / no longer accepting !

🔥 ( Thor and his relationship with Frigga )

||. Oh, man, Thor/Frigga is an interesting topic - because I feel the thor/mcu fandom tends to really characterize her one of two ways, and both are right and both are wrong.

The FIRST WAY is that "Frigga is a saint who can do no wrong, absolutely adores both of her boys and is the perfect mother" and... while I think that Frigga is certainly a perfectly loving and caring mother (and person tbh.) she very clearly had her FAVORITE son. There's a huge element of neglect towards Thor that goes overlooked in this take that I don't agree with, even if I don't subscribe to the idea that Frigga was purposefully neglectful, either.

....Which happens to be the SECOND WAY that the fandom (mostly the mcu!loki fandom, as usual) mischaracterizes Frigga, and by proxy Thor/Frigga's bond as well. In this take, they make Frigga's favoritism and doting over Loki go too far. To the point where she's passive-aggressive and borderline toxic, just because Thor isn't her precious uwu frost-baby. I am a FIRM believer that even if Loki was her favored son to hang out with, Frigga still didn't love Thor any less. It's just a very complex relationship, overall.

My personal take on Frigga is as follows:

Ultimately: Thor is her son! Her only child! And so is Loki, and I think she loved them BOTH so dearly. At the end of the day though, Thor has to spend his time with the other aesir in the family, and that's not Frigga, it's Odin. Not only that, but Frigga has more in common with Loki, so they have more to talk about in 1:1 moments together. What I think this led to was an unfortunate cycle in which she spent so much energy doting over Loki, making sure he felt seen/heard and had "some sun for himself" that she COMPLETELY neglected to see that her other son was in just as much pain as the youngest was; that while Loki is the underdog, Thor still needed his mother, and DID NOT have it all together. She was completely fooled by Thor's façade just like everyone else. And only realized how estranged they had become when it was too late, and she couldn't reach Thor anymore. (She also died before she could make it right.)

To further explain these two opposing takes, the first characterization comes (presumably) from the following:

Frigga being a very wise and clearly empathetic individual. The "glue" that keeps the family together. (a general observation due to how she interacts with her family. specifically: "[Odin] kept the truth [about you being a frost giant] from you so that you would never feel different. You are our son, Loki, and we your family. You must know that." thor (2011), and immediately accepting jane as her daughter-in-law in Thor: Dark World comes to mind. )

Frigga arguing with Odin about Thor's banishment (deleted scene.)

Frigga (attempting) to assuage Thor's anxiety pre!coronation (deleted scene)

I think this particular take is relatively accurate in characterizing Frigga's motherly nature, yes. But what it neglects to keep in mind is that:

Frigga was complicit in the lie of Loki's heritage. Her line about "Odin" not wanting Loki to feel different can also be read as her using Odin as a bit of straw-man for her own feelings. (@mischiefmodig and I have actually come to the conclusion "not wanting loki to feel different" was originally HER idea when Loki was very small. Odin is too pragmatic to come up with it. BUT when he got older, Frigga changed her mind, and Odin didn't want to tell Loki at that point because it'd cause a meltdown. Which it did.)

Frigga arguing for Thor's sake post!banishment was NOT done while Thor was aware of this development. HE IS NOT AWARE THAT THIS HAPPENED. From his perspective, she never fought for him, and more importantly: even if he did find out AFTER the fact, during his banishment, THOR DIDN'T EXPECT HER TO. In fact, Thor accepts that Frigga disowned him the second Loki lies to his face about that detail in THOR. (Re: "Mother has forbidden your return.") It makes no sense for Thor to believe this so immediately if they were close. (he WAS close to Loki, who he trusts implicitly, especially because he's family.)

While Frigga does attempt to assuage Thor's anxiety before the coronation, the key word here is ATTEMPT. She doesn't succeed. It's actually staggering how badly she misses the mark, and he continues to be largely unfocused and anxious about it. Even though Loki's scene with Thor happened before Frigga's, it was Loki who was able to say what needed to be said to calm Thor down where Frigga couldn't. ("You're my brother, and my friend [...] never doubt that I love you." / T: "How do I look?" L: "Like a king.")

The second take comes from a very loud and large portion of the loki!fandom in particular who absolutely despises Thor as a character and prefer Loki in every way. To the point where, I suppose, Thor is "an abusive brother"... Which makes no sense. It's ultimately a lot of projection. HOWEVER, I can't say it's entirely inaccurate to the favoritism displayed either. Some things I can say Frigga messed up on are as follows:

The official marvel comic (taking place between thor 2011 and avengers) in which Frigga endlessly searches for Loki and refuses to believe he's dead instead of mourning his loss with her husband and son. (Which is saying a lot, given that Thor and Odin both saw Loki attempt suicide by letting go into a black hole.) While she was right in the end, this is ... really negligent at the end of the day. (it puts SUCH a bad taste in my mouth that I refuse to consider it canon since it's not the movie's material anyways. I do think she searched for Loki, but more that she was searching for his body so they could have SOMETHING to bury.)

This scene of Frigga telling Thor that "[he] and your father cast large shadows"... Which is true and not necessarily a bad thing to say, but the line that preceded this was ultimately Thor just asking Frigga if she regrets teaching Loki her magic because of all the trouble (and war crimes) he’s committed with it…. And her answer was no —> proceeds to remind thor that he overshadowed Loki. (I don't think he took that personally or was bothered by it, but the answer isn't exactly well-timed or considerate of ... everything.)

TL;DR: Thor and Frigga aren't close. They're "close enough", but the fact that he doesn't shed tears at her funeral, (he weeps for loki THREE TIMES and is utterly enraged by Odin's death. Hers is the ONLY death thor is witness to where he does not actively react to at all.), speaks of her as if he's speaking highly of a well-esteemed stranger, has no reaction to her attempts to meet his emotional needs, responds minimally to her physical affections (mostly talking about body language, he's very stiff with her in a safe environment vs. a battle environment, as shown respectively), actively shuts her out in a time of mourning (she has to ask sif how her OWN SON is doing post!loki's death), and fully believed that she would not have fought for his right to return home —and in fact, FORBADE IT — with no questioning shows me as much, even if they do have some very soft moments together.

[lokislittlesigyn]

Wake Me - Loki x Reader [Oneshot]

[My masterlist, where this and my other fics can be found]

Pairing: Loki / gender neutral reader

Warnings: Angst. But fear not, for fluff awaits!

Author’s Note: I have legitimately no idea if I’ll write more Loki x Reader; I never intended to write any because I don’t know the reader so I can’t characterize the reader but then I had a headcanon.. And then I had an idea...

And then I wrote this and I thought “hmm, I should challenge myself to do a New Thing?” and then this happened. Blame Loki, maybe? He seems to be behind a lot of this.

Is there any demand for a taglist of.. Possible future Loki x Readers? I dunno? Let me know.

This fic is loosely based off a song by the same name, which is also one of my favorite songs! Enjoy. <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You didn’t notice it at first.

Not for the first few days… Weeks? You weren’t sure how long it had been happening. How long Loki had been leaving your bed in the middle of the night.

Your apartment was a decent size - more than decent, considering the average size of a New York City apartment. Being a close friend and employee of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts (was it Stark now?) had its perks. The apartment had a bedroom, a bathroom across the short hall, a living room which doubled as your workspace, and a good-sized kitchen. Even had a washer and dryer at the end of the hall, tucked neatly into a little closet that also held a few of your coats. As an added luxury, there was a small - very small - balcony off the living room. Hardly big enough to stand on, it was nevertheless a wonderful spot to sit and watch the sun set over the city. You loved living there, in that cozy space you’d made your own, and eventually welcomed Loki into. 

Loki. Not exactly someone you’d intended to end up with. Then again, who intends to fall in love with a god?

Who intends to fall in love at all?

You’d met through friends of friends, and that was about the only mundane thing about your relationship. Said friends of friends were the Avengers for crying out loud, and the moment you saw Thor in person you nearly froze from shock. The moment you saw his brother, however, your heart practically leapt out of your chest and into the hand Loki reluctantly extended, per his brother’s direction.

You took his hand in your own, trying not to tremble as you shook it. You gave your name. He gave his. You parted ways. A mundane interaction, right?

But again, few things about your relationship were mundane.

You would’ve written it off as a simple, regular greeting if Loki hadn’t found you later as you skulked along the edges of Tony’s huge party. You knew the hosts, of course, and some of the other guests - but everything was so big and frightening and new you hardly knew what to do with yourself. 

How were you, a regular human, supposed to deal with all… That? Heroic wasn’t a word you’d really use to describe yourself. Let alone super-heroic - that title was reserved for the incredible individuals around you, whose personalities and achievements eclipsed your own. You mulled over the thought, drink still clutched firmly in hand, but untouched.

And that was when Loki commented on the fact you looked “nearly as miserable as he felt.” You couldn’t help but blush a little and laugh at the comment. You quipped something back - something about misery loving company, and Loki’s eyebrows raised. His expression gave little else away, though. It hardly ever did.

It wasn’t until many months after the party, after you and Loki had gotten to know each other better and started dating, that he whispered the truth to you: the idea that anyone would be gladder with him around than with him gone, was astonishing to him. He could hardly believe it.

But when it came to you? He believed you.

You had no reason to lie to him. No need to impress him, or earn his favor, or act cordially for fear of an Asgardian royal. You were safe at that party, and you were safe when you visited him at the Avengers compound - you had no reasonable ulterior motives. Nothing to hide.

And, likewise, he had no reason to actively hide things from you, now that you lived together and you knew about his past, about his parentage.

Or, you thought he had no reason to hide things from you…

So why was he leaving you at night?

The first night you truly noticed it was on a dark, cool night of spring. 

You’d left the bedroom window open while you fell asleep, and upon waking up thought to yourself, still under a veil of sleepiness, that you should probably get up and close it. But as your eyes opened and adjusted to the dark, you noticed two things.

First, the window was closed, the curtains completely drawn. 

Second, the place next to you, where Loki usually lie, was empty. Completely empty, the bed covers pushed toward you to help keep you warm. Still half-asleep, your hand smoothed over the sheets to his spot - cold. He’d been gone a while. 

You squinted to see through the crack in your bedroom door, but couldn’t make out if the bathroom light was on. Maybe he’s in there.. You shrugged to yourself, flipping back over and nuzzling into your pillow. You’d meant to stay awake until he returned, just to be sure he was okay, but sleep quickly washed over you again.

When you woke up the next morning, you realized you definitely should’ve been able to see if the bathroom light was on, had it been on, so Loki couldn’t have been in there. He was never one for midnight snacking, as far as you could tell, so he probably wasn’t in the kitchen.

The more you thought about it, the more it bothered you. You tried to brush it aside - after all, Loki was a very private person, slow to trust or to show much emotion. He was vulnerable with few people... Maybe only one person - you. The trust between you had been hard-won, and you loved every new piece of himself he showed you. 

He also enjoyed quiet time, often spent with books. Reading, writing notes, sometimes even napping in the safety of your apartment, his forgotten book on his chest as he lie draped across the couch, his lanky limbs hanging off the edges. You really needed a bigger couch.

Yes, you assured yourself. Loki just needed time alone every now and then. Everyone did, right? 

You tried to ignore it, you truly did. 

But later, it happened again. 

You woke up to an empty bed, a dark room, and the door pulled to. This time you could swear you saw a light coming from the other room, so this time you figured he was in the bathroom and once again you succumbed to sleep.

~~~~

The morning after, you woke up to your regular routine: Get up, get dressed, make coffee for two, eat some sort of breakfast, and get to work. Work didn’t exactly have a set location - that close friendship with the Starks stemmed from having worked with Pepper for years, and now since you worked for Stark Industries, you enjoyed several perks. 

Sometimes Pepper brought you in on-site, other times (more often than not, considering the fact you had an ex-villain alien god to worry about… and not everyone was convinced about the ex part) you simply received work on your secure Stark-tech computer and worked remotely. From home, from a cafe, even from the Avengers compound when you visited. (You had a room there, too - as did Loki. Courtesy of Tony.)

So as you sat with your laptop in front of you on your desk, the window cracked to let some air in, you started the day. Coffee in hand, a half-eaten croissant next to you.

Loki stood next to you, sipping his own coffee. 

He liked to watch you work. Liked to distract you from work too - he wasn’t the god of mischief for nothing.

“Sleep well?” He broke the silence first.

You took another bite of breakfast. “Yeah. You sleep okay?”

He shifted his weight. “Fine.”

“You sure?”

His hand touched your shoulder, as if to reassure you. “Just fine. How long are you working today?” His fingers smoothed their way from your shoulder to your clavicle and back - slowly, rhythmically. 

“I literally just got started,” you muttered a soft laugh, and he chuckled in turn.

“But I like spending time with you.”

“Well I like spending time with you, too. But work is important.”

“Would it be less important if I gave Stark something better to worry about than..” Loki leaned over, scrutinizing the screen, “Interview paperwork?”

You raised your eyebrows at him. “Loki, do not attack my boss, please.”

“I said nothing about attacking him.”

“Loki.”

“Yes, love?” He smiled down at you. You huffed - he had no right to be this charming, nor this cute - but that worry was still gnawing at you. Why had he left last night? 

“Are you sure you slept okay?”

He paused a moment, then smiled - but it seemed forced. “Yes. I slept just fine - do you need to talk about something..?”

“You left.. In the middle of the night, I woke up and you were gone.”

He swallowed. “I hadn’t realized you were awake - forgive me.” His hand slid down your shoulder, to your arm - and then away. “It was just a bit of restlessness, darling, you mustn’t worry.” He kissed the top of your head, then straightening up, raised his coffee mug to his lips again. “I’ll leave you to that.. Riveting work of yours… Let me know if you ever need a welcome distraction.”

“You’re always welcome,” you smirked slightly. You weren’t convinced he was only restless but.. Maybe he was. Who knew? Loki was a mystery to many. You’d try to believe him, at least.

“Am I?” He grinned. “Then I’ll be sure to distract you often.” With a small wink, he turned and left.

~~~~

The next time you noticed it, it seemed later in the night. And this time, you heard something too. Crying. Talking - like a whisper, barely audible past the soft sobs.

The door was cracked again, but had swung a bit more open than the times before. That must be the source of the sound...

Resolved to figure out what was going on, you slid out of bed. Tried to stay quiet as you walked to the door and peered out.

There was faint light coming from the living room. A silhouette on the wall showed Loki’s position - in front of the balcony, the street lights casting his shadow. You inched down the hallway, stopping just before you reached the living room.

“...Mother, you would. I just know it. (Y/N) is endlessly beautiful, and intelligent, and… and kind…” Loki was sitting in the floor, his back to you. Dressed in the same clothes he usually wore to bed - loose pants and a comfortable green shirt. His long black hair was messy, and his body shook with sobs.

The door to the balcony was open, allowing a cool night breeze to drift in. An occasional car drove by, or plane flew overhead, but Loki was focused on the stars.

“Just like you. But I, I don’t.. I don’t deserve it. Any of it-” his voice cracked, “And I miss you.”

Your heart broke. You made your way across the living room, quietly, carefully. 

“I miss you every day,” Loki continued, shaky hands brushing hair back from his face, then gripping it in agony. “I-I wish we could speak, we could.. See each other.. That you could see me - see us, but... You’re not here.”

“Loki?” you muttered, and he inhaled sharply, turning around. 

Now you could clearly see the tears streaming down his face. His mouth was slightly open, but he closed it, his lips pressed into a thin line. 

“I- ... Darling, you shouldn’t be up at this hour,” He stood, blinking away his tears. “Go back to bed.”

You stood your ground, but tried to pick your words carefully. He looked so vulnerable, standing there in the dark, still trying to steady himself.

“No, something’s clearly wrong. Loki... How long has this been going on?”

“It doesn’t matter..”

“Yes it does.” You moved closer. He twitched - but let you approach, let you reach up to brush a tear off his cheek. More fell as he pressed his face against your palm, relishing the touch. His brows pressed together, he looked as though he could break at any time.

“Weeks,” he whispered.

“Oh, Loki..” You embraced him. He welcomed it, his arms wrapping around you, clutching you close to his shaking chest. He moved to lower himself and you followed, the both of you slowly sitting on the ground, you tucked against him, his body trembling with sobs.

Tears pricked in the corners of your eyes. What had this long life done to him?

How many nights had he cried alone?

It was several minutes before either of you spoke again. Loki calmed, his nose finding a comfortable place nestled against your hair, and his breath eventually steadied. His grip loosened. The crying slowed.

“I-I’m sorry.. I’m sorry I left you,” He gulped. “This is the only way I can talk to her anymore.”

You pulled away to see his face. Tilted your head. “Her..?”

Loki’s eyes met yours. “Frigga. My mother. She..” He couldn’t bring himself to say the next word.

“I remember.” You nodded slowly.

He’d told you a while ago that his mother had died, after Thor had brought up their parents. But he never said how. 

Loki clenched his jaw. “It… It was my fault, it was all my fault-” He settled into another bout of crying.

“Loki, love - that can’t be true. I-I don’t know everything about your life,” You cupped his face, bringing him to look at you. He sniffed, swallowing again. “I don’t. I wasn’t there for all of it. But I know you. And I know you would never, ever harm your mother.”

“But I did, I did- that monster, I told it how to escape - I told it how to reach her. And it did, and she-” He stopped himself, biting the inside of his cheek. His breath grew shaky again as he forced himself to speak. “There was a funeral. I wasn’t allowed to attend - Odin would never allow that. He barely wanted me alive in the first place,” he hissed, his face contorted with rage for a moment, before relaxing again. “I found out after. By then her body had returned to the stars..” Loki turned to the outside again.

Moonlight graced his skin, highlighting the tears still glistening on his cheeks. His eyes searched the heavens, as though begging for a sign - something real, something palpable, something to tell him she was out there. 

“Loki, I’m.. I’m so sorry. But it’s not your fault. It’s not.” You spoke as gently yet firmly as you could. Giving a monster - whatever it was - directions (you figured it was to spite the Asgardians who imprisoned him) didn’t equate to murder. He hadn’t intended it to play out that way, after all. But you could understand the guilt behind it.. And you hated the fact he’d carried that burden alone.

He stayed quiet. Pulled you closer, his chin on your shoulder, his eyes still trained on the sky. 

“I wish she could meet you.” he confessed, his head leaning against your own. His arms still firm around you, his hands finding yours - your fingers intertwined. “She’d love you.”

“I’d like to meet her, too. But maybe she can see us now.” You moved closer to him, your thumb stroking his hand. You felt Loki smile next to you - it was small, and fragile, but it was there.

“Perhaps she can,” he murmured. 

“Maybe she can see how happy you are - you’re happy, aren’t you?” You glanced at him. He kissed your temple, staying cuddled up against you. 

“Happier than ever. I.. Thank you, love. Thank you for finding me. I hadn’t the heart to, to ask you to join me… I’d hate to wake you.”

“Loki, you’re important to me. I love you, remember?” You turned, facing him fully, your back to the open door. “Can you promise me something?”

His brow furrowed slightly, but he seemed willing to listen, watching you intently.

“Promise me, if you’re lonely, wake me.”

Tears glistened in his eyes again. He nodded, slowly, and managed a soft smile.

“Yes, my love,” he murmured. “I promise.”

[imagine-loki]

What bout Trust, Chapter 15

TITLE: What About Trust CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 15 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki owns a bookshop on Midgard. He had to do something there to try and avoid getting any attention. But he’s not fond of having customers, is rather grumpy and guarded. But then he meets a bright, bubbly and trusting young woman who doesn’t recognise him. To his dismay, he finds himself becoming rather fond of the mortal.  RATING: M

  So many thoughts ran through Cleo’s mind after discovering the truth about Loki.

She had spent most of the evening looking through footage of him from when he had tried to take over Earth. And she’d watched the video of him saving everyone at the park lots too. She couldn’t believe she had never recognised him in the first place. And suddenly a lot of things made a bit more sense.

Her friend, Ethan, was over and trying to console her.

She was so angry, upset, disappointed. Everything moulded into one.

‘He certainly seems like he’s not a villain anymore, but can anyone truly change quite like that?’ Ethan muttered.

‘It’s not… It’s not about what he did in the past. It’s the fact he lied to me. He didn’t tell me who he really was.’ She sighed and tried not to get choked up for the millionth time.

‘I’ve never seen you so upset before, Cleo. I know you love him, why not go speak to him and see what he has to say? Think about it, if you were in his position and did what he did… and you were wanting a new start, maybe you’d lie about your name, too?’

Cleo put her elbows on the table and her head in her hands with a sigh. She couldn’t help it, she started crying again. Her emotions were all over the place.

Ethan moved over and hugged her. ‘Hey, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok.’ He soothed her and rubbed her back softly.

-

Thor had nipped out to get some food in for himself and Loki. Well, himself mainly since Loki said he didn’t feel like eating.

‘Loki, there’s someone who was outside that wants to speak to you.’ Thor said and stepped to the side when he entered Loki’s place.

Loki frowned, it was Ethan. Loki had met him once or twice before at some of their friends’ gigs with Cleo.

‘Look, I don’t know what exactly you’ve told Cleo about yourself. How much of it has been true, what hasn’t. But right now, you need to go and speak to her. Go clear things up. She at least deserves an explanation.’ Ethan said to Loki.

‘She’s scared of me. She won’t want anything to do with me.’ Loki said sadly and turned away from him.

Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Look, I know you’re a God and a Prince. But for the past few months, you’ve just been ordinary Luke to me. So I’m going to carry on seeing you that way. Now you get your ass over to Cleo’s and you damn well give her an explanation as to why you’ve lied to her. Or you will lose her, for good. And she is NOT scared of you, far from it. She’s pissed off and so upset, rightfully so.’ Ethan snapped at him.

Loki was irked at first, how dare a mortal tell him off like that. But when Loki turned around to glare at Ethan, his face softened. He realised he was right.

He ran a hand down his face and sighed. ‘You think talking to her will help?’

‘Well it won’t make anything worse! She deserves a proper explanation. I know she wanted to be left alone, but she’s had time now. Go and explain to her.’ Ethan said firmly and pointed at the door.

Loki narrowed his eyes at him as he grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.

Ethan felt proud that he had managed to tell Loki off like that. But when Loki left, he let out a big sigh of relief. Thor chuckled at the mortal who was shaking slightly as he leaned against the back of the sofa for support.

‘Geez, that was scary.’ Ethan said as he put his hand over his chest.

‘You did well.’ Thor laughed and went over to pat him on the shoulder. ‘Sometimes that is what Loki needs. I just hope they can talk it out, I have never seen my brother so broken and upset before. He really loves and cares for her, he was just scared she would turn him away for who he was. For what he did.’

Ethan nodded. ‘I understand. But Cleo is the last person on Earth to judge someone in that way. Hell, I remember when the New York incident happened, one of our friends was mouthing off about what an asshole Loki was. Cleo piped up that there is always two sides to a story, and everyone deserves a second chance. That the Avengers aren’t all that good either… No offence.’

Thor smiled softly. ‘None taken. I know what she means, we all have our darker sides. I certainly hope she still thinks the same way.’

-

Loki teleported instantly to Cleo’s home, he was about just walk inside but thought better of it. He knocked on the door cautiously, his heart was hammering against his chest as he waited. But he was relieved when she finally answered.

But his heart shattered into millions of pieces when he saw her. The usual sparkle and brightness was gone from her eyes, in just five hours he had managed to tear her up so badly. He had never felt so guilty and broken in his entire life.

‘Cleo… I’m so, so sorry.’ He began, a tear fell down his face as he was unable to stop himself. ‘Please, can I come in and talk?’ He begged, she could hear the desperation in his voice.

Cleo closed her eyes for a moment, to try and stop herself from crying. She nodded and stepped to the side, letting him in. Saying nothing yet.

Loki walked into her home and he went to the living room. He wasn’t sure whether to sit down or stay standing, but he opted to stand. As Cleo stayed standing with her arms around herself.

He took in a deep breath. ‘I know that what I did in New York and Germany was awful, I regret it every single day. It’s not something I am proud of, at all. But I would never hurt you, I would never’

‘Luke… I mean, Loki… I… I know you wouldn’t hurt me. It’s not what you did before that’s upsetting me. Or who you really are. It’s that you lied to me. You didn’t tell me the truth.’

‘I… I couldn’t. When I first met you, I went to my usual lie that my name is Luke. I’ve used that for a long time, since I decided to start a life here. I hoped for a quiet life, where I could just be in peace, without any hassle from SHIELD or people who knew what I did and wanted me dead. But then, I started to fall in love with you. I have never felt the way I do about you before, Cleo.’ Loki sat down now and clasped his hands together on front of him, trying to keep it together.

Cleo sat down too on the opposite sofa.

‘I wanted to tell you… I so badly wanted to. But every time I bottled it. I’m a coward, and I hate myself for it. I was scared and worried that I would ruin what we had… But I knew I had to tell you, I was going to, but then the tree fell and’

‘How am I supposed to believe you now? I want to, Loki, I really do. But I’m struggling. Everything I thought I knew about you, is a lie.’ Cleo interrupted.

‘No, no... Everything I’ve told you about myself, is true. Just minus where I come from and my name.’

‘And that Thor is your brother!’ Cleo yelled at him. ‘That you’re a God. A Prince. And your parents?’

‘I said my brother was an idiot and annoying, that’s not a lie. And my parents are deceased, and I was adopted. It’s just a little bit more complicated than I told you.’

Cleo shook her head and tears started running down her face again. ‘I just wish you’d told me sooner. What hurts the most, is that you felt you couldn’t tell me the truth sooner. After our first date, or even after we first slept together would’ve been better. But you didn’t, for so long.’

‘I know, and I was a fool. I am a fool. But I was scared, Cleo. So scared of losing you, the only person in my life that has ever mattered to me so much. I love you, Cleo. So, so much. I didn’t want to lose… I don’t want to lose you.’ Loki cried.

‘I don’t want that either… And I do love you, too. But I just, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me sooner. I don’t know what to do, Loki. I do understand why you didn’t want me to know initially, but keeping it for so long is what is hurting me the most.’

Loki momentarily put his head in his hands before looking back up at her. ‘The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you, darling. Please believe me. I was scared and selfish, I can’t take that back. As much as I want to. I’ve hurt you, I know. I want to make it right, to earn your love again.’

‘What about trust, Loki?’

He felt his stomach dropping.

‘Please, Cleo. Give me one more chance, I promise you there will be no more lies. Ever. And you can trust me, always.’ He pleaded.

‘I… I don’t know if I can. I do love you, I do. But I, I don’t know if I can trust you again. Love is nothing without it. And I feel like I trusted you completely, with anything and everything.’

‘Don’t say that, Cleo. Please, I’m begging you to just let me try again. Let me work on gaining your trust again. Please.’ Loki actually got onto his knees on front of her and begged her with his hands clasped on front of him.

Cleo’s eyes widened at the sight of him doing so. She saw what he did years ago in Germany… Had everyone kneel for him. She knew that kneeling for a human was not something he would do lightly.

But it still didn’t make it any easier.

‘I… I’m going to need time, Loki. Please.’ She whispered, wiping her eyes and looking to the side.

Loki nodded and slowly got up to his feet. ‘I understand. Take as much time as you need… But I do truly love you, Cleo. You’re my world.’

Cleo looked down at her hands in her lap, unable to stop crying as Loki reluctantly left her home.

When Loki left, he went down the nearest alleyway and he screamed, cried, hit the wall. He couldn’t believe what he did to her. To his Cleo.

He wished he could turn back time and start over, to tell her the truth from the start.

He couldn’t cope with the thought of not having her in his life.  

[anika-ann]

Grease and Pearls - Pt.3

Dreams Meet Reality

Type: One-shot turned three-shot (because does anyone really want a 17k in one go?)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader (main), Tony/Reader, Tony/Pepper

Word count: 3400 or 5100 (yeah, you read it right, see A/N)

Summary: An uptown girl met a downtown guy with a heart of gold. Oh, and he was handsome too. It inevitably leads to their relationship developping… but is there any chance for them at all?

For @cxptain​​ ’s challenge. Prompt: Uptown Girl by Billy Joel

Warnings: swearing (a lot), attempt at angst, ghosting, communication par excellence

A/N: We had fluff and smut. What are we missing? That’s right. Heads up, people! There is an alternate ending to my original one, the one sentence where it breaks is in italics. I hope that makes sense ;) Pick whichever or read both :D Enjoy!

Story Masterlist

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It was bound to happen – you knew as much – but deep in your heart, you had hoped it wouldn’t. You had hoped it would last longer. You had hoped that perhaps a miracle would occur and in some mysterious way, you would be able to convince your parents that marrying you to Anthony was a terrible idea.

You should have known better than that.

The very day you had fell asleep in Steve’s arms after making love – and God, you could still feel him, his touches on your skin, his mouth, everywhere, even in the most intimate places, a pleasant, almost ceremonial ache lingering exactly there, a memory of fire in your belly and your heart – you got caught.

Your parents had been waiting at Potts’ house as you reached it around eleven in the evening, a smiling mess, a sight to behold, and any illusion about the future you had been painting in your mind shattered.

Pepper had tried to take part of the blame, but your parents always believed that you were the faulty daughter in your household and such ways stretched outside your house.

Your father was furious. Your mother was deeply disappointed and even faked a few tears – or perhaps she shed them for real, mourning her reputation, one the family would fight tooth and nail to retain.    

You had literally fallen on your knees and begged when they found a drawing from a street artist, a souvenir of one of your trips to downtown which you had only craved to explore-- and by some miracle indeed, you were allowed to keep it and not to have it torn to shreds right in front of your eyes. Pepper’s teary gaze told you she knew you were making up things up as you went and that the drawing, the one that captured beauty you weren’t sure you possessed, meant much more.

You couldn’t even hope to earn forgiveness, so you only asked for it half-heartedly.

What you did earn was a damn chaperon.

In your age! In this day and age!

Her name was Maria and she was truly efficient and strict to a fault. Nevertheless, she respected your privacy and whenever you were to meet Pepper, she would stand just outside the door and wait if you asked for a confidential conversation… which was always, you didn’t need some goddamned stranger spying on you. What the hell.

But truly, all things considered, you had lucked out; as your parents didn’t fault Pepper for your actions, you were still allowed to meet with her at least and to talk her in private.

However, the marriage plans were sped up.

And naturally, you couldn’t even hope to set your foot anywhere near downtown. You hadn’t seen Steve for two weeks, you hadn’t even found his number in the phone book to explain yourself and you missed him.

Your heart seemed to fail in its basic function; when you were lying in your bed at night, wide awake, it longed after ocean blue eyes with a drop of green, strong hands holding you close, and it wouldn’t stop pounding wildly in your chest. In the morning, your heart appeared to be beating so slowly you had to place your palm over the area to make sure it was still there, that it still had enough strength to keep you upright all day ahead.

And it ached 24 hours a day. For you, for Steve, who must have been clueless on why you never showed up to your set date or any time after. You were hurting and your parents watched you suffer along with your sister, frowning at you and scolding you to stop acting like a five-year old who had a toy taken away.

They could never understand. Was that a curse or a blessing?

Pepper was the only person you could trust, only person you could talk to about your true sorrows and her patience never seemed to wear thin despite her own turmoil – after all, if your marriage was to be sped up… her hopes were being crushed as well.

“Pepper… I don’t want to marry Tony. God, I can’t marry him,” you whispered, a cup of tea in your hands, your palms and fingers curled around the warm ceramics, hoping for it to take away some of the ever-present cold your body radiated these days.

Your friend smiled at you sadly, an honest and heart-breaking lift of the corners of her lips.

“I know, honey.”

You chuckled bitterly at the irony. Here you were, stealing her dreamed man, on she loved, while yearning after another, after the one you loved. You looked up at the ceiling, blinking away the tears gathering in your eyes – again and again, barely a day without their presence. They were always there, ready for the dam to broke so they could run down your cheeks.

When you spoke again, you could barely force the words out of your tight throat.

“I… I truly love Steve. I dreamed tonight, about having a little boy,” you whispered, the image still vivid behind your now closed eyelids. He was so damn pretty, your sweet little boy. “Blond hair, pretty blue eyes full of mischief and such innocent smile with a front tooth missing and I was expecting with another--… I want that. I want to have Steve’s children one day and I want Steve. I need him. It feels like I can’t breathe without him.”

Tender hands reached for your shoulders and pulled you into an embrace, soft and careful, yet very unladylike, not proper for anyone to see in public – at least not here, not in uptown. God, you hated it here. You despised it now, truly. And if that made you an ungrateful brat, then so be it.

“Oh sweety, I know exactly how you feel. I’m so sorry,” Pepper replied in the same manner, comfortingly stroking your arm. She sounded on the verge of tears as well. “But you know what your family is like, they would never accept Steve. As much as it hurts you and me… I’m not sure you really have a choice.”

You swallowed against the lump formed in your throat and shakily breathed in.  

“Don’t I?”

You thought of your chaperon and wondered… just how heartless could she be?

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It was three weeks after his girl’s last surprise visit that had somehow resulted in her and Steve tangled in his sheets when he lost his faith in her and whatever the two of them had had completely.

Three weeks without as much as a glimpse of her or a word, two weeks of not going to bed without few bottles of beer to keep him company, Steve walked into the shop and instantly knew something was wrong.

The usually loud environment full of chatter and teasing was suspiciously quiet.

“Hey guys,” he called out, trying to sound casual. “What gives?”

“Nothing-“ Thor responded swiftly – and way too quickly. Steve rolled his eyes.

“I’m blond but ain’t that stupid. Who pissed in everyone’s cereal? Buck?”

Steve’s best friend looked up from his work, shorty meeting his eyes. The regretful gaze spoke volumes on its own, but the brunet still sighed, tossing the rag in his hands on the nearest hood.

Steve suddenly wasn’t so sure he wanted to hear the news whatever it was. Dread filled his stomach, a feeling that had his gut twist uncomfortably. The blue-grey irises of his friend hid behind his eyelids.

“I… I’ve been in town this morning, Steve,” he explained slowly, cursing under his breath when he took in Steve’s perfectly confused expression, awaiting a metaphorical punch. “Fuck, Steve—I-eh, I saw Carter with Stark and they were-“ The coil in Steve’s stomach tightened to the point of him thinking he might throw up. “-shit, I’m sorry, Steve, they were at jeweller’s, probably picking up a ring.”

A ring.

Right.

Because she was getting married. To Stark. He knew that—he had been, in fact, informed that it might happen at some point.

But no-- like a fool, he had painted an image in his head, stupid and naïve and even found himself thinking about his ma’s engagement ring – once or twice since he had met his stunning uptown girl –, one he had inherited and was planning to give a woman who would take his heart.

Funny how his mind had been purposely leaving out the fact that the very same woman he had given his heart to was the one who could stomp on it and let it bleed on the pavement.

Fuck, he was a complete idiot, wasn’t he?

Steve swallowed against his suddenly dry throat, nodding few times in acknowledgement of the information, lips in a tight line, one corner lifted in an ironic smile as his blood boiled.

“Well… we knew it was comin’, didn’t we?” he remarked and shook his head with a scoff.

God, he was so fucking stupid-

“Steve-“

He waved Bucky off, stalking towards his own station. He dropped his bag, always stashed with clean clothes just in case, to the ground by the counter, hand blindly reaching out. He grabbed the wrench on the top unmistakably, his fingers curling firmly around the metal.

One swift movement, one jerk of his bulging arm and the wrench was sent flying, hitting the momentarily empty chain with an ominous clang that could only hope to echo the mad rage he felt, sizzling in his veins, eating him up from the inside.

“Fuck him!” he roared, the ferocity of his voice startling even his mates who were familiar with his occasional temper.

His breathing turned heavy as he reached for another tool, flinging it the same way, this time hitting the wall, much to his irritation.

Jesus fucking shit-- he was so fucking mad – at her, at himself, at Stark, Stark who thought he could just take and take, greedy asshole, just like all of those uptown snobs that thought they owned the fucking world!  

“Fuck Stark and all of those privileged assholes! I hope they rot in- Fucking! Hell!”

Two more objects Steve didn’t bother to look at flied through the air and hit the chains, the harmless violence not providing him with half the satisfaction he hoped in.

By the time the boss stalked into the shop the check on what was going on – and to yell at his employees to stop fucking around – Steve had been long gone, taking the SHILED bike and driving away until all he could feel was the wind swishing around his head, loud enough to drown out his noisy thoughts.

“Rogers came in sick, we sent him home,” Pietro supplied helpfully, the deadpan expression on Fury’s face telling him that he had none of that shit.

Yet, the bossman sighed and headed back to his office.

“Good, wouldn’t want him to puke all over my fuckin’ garage.”

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She showed up in the shop on week four. Steve was just coming back from a short bathroom break, quickly taking a U-turn when he got a glimpse of her in the overhead door to the garage, wearing black and red elegant dress.

He leaned his back against the separating wall, closing his eyes at the painful jab to his stomach.

Logically, there was no reason for him to be so devastated. He fucked girls before—he liked girls before. So why did he have to be such a missy when it came to her? She was pretty, sure, but there were plenty of cute gals. Steve really tried not to think about the L word they had exchanged, because deep down it had dawned to him a while ago; he was so fucked up because he was in love and then he was dumped by a lady who normally wouldn’t look at him twice, which was something that his brain had been bullheadedly refusing to accept.

“Sorry, he ain’t in today,” Odinson drawled, traces of hostility in his voice.

“Oh,” she sounded surprised and he could picture the gentle confused frown, the slight pout to her lips—shit, those lips tasted like cherry-- "Uhm, do you know when he will be in?”

“Why do ya’ need to know?”

Steve was certain that her frown deepened at Bucky’s words.

“Well, uhm, I need to talk to him, it’s important. Should I come here in few days or-“

“Don’t think he’ll be ‘round here any time soon.”

“Is he alright?” she asked, genuine concern in her voice and it took all of Steve’s willpower not to bang his head against the wall.

Why, just why was she doing this to him? Why would she care?

Now he knew that was cruel to her – he believed that once, she had truly been interested in him – but he told himself multiple times that her looks were deceiving, that she only had been looking for a distraction from her uptight uptown world. Maybe if he told himself enough times, he would start to believe it.

“Ain’t none of your business, princess,” Thor retorted and Steve just knew she winced at the harsh tone, a soft gasp escaping her mouth, that sweet mouth he had  kissed over three weeks ago, sweet, innocent and sinful, the music of her short breaths filling his poor excuse of a loft, keeping him fucking going.

“Nice ring, by the way,” Bucky said nonchalantly.

Steve gulped at that. Yeah, he bet it was; but there was no way Bucky was being polite. The venom dripping from his words was a message on its own.

And she picked up on it, naturally. His –not his anymore, not that she had ever truly been – brilliant beautiful girl.

“Oh. Thank- thank you,” she whispered and Steve had to strain his ears like a creep, catching the crack in her voice; he almost ran out hearing it, ready to comfort her, because God, he couldn’t imagine her crying, salt tears rolling down her rosy cheeks - few had when they had made love, but she had been smiling too.

He was sure that seeing her cry without that smile… it would feel the world was ending. Her eyes were made for shining with happiness, her lips made for laughter-

“The fuck-?“

Steve’s head snapped straight when he heard his boss leaving his office, catching him chilling by the wall, very much not working and instead trying not to break and kiss the woman he loved stupid – no matter how stupid that made him. She was engaged. Promised to another, a much classier man… or at least much richer, Steve didn’t imagine his character being worth a damn penny.

On instinct, Steve put a finger over his own lips, wordlessly begging Fury not to rat him out. The man rolled his good eye – the one that hadn’t been hit by hot oil years ago – and crossed his arms on his chest.

“And—uhm, I see. Tell—please tell him I stopped by if he- and that I am sorry for not coming here for so long. He can leave a message with Mrs.Maximoff if he--- tell him I really need to-- that I would like to talk to him,” her voice trembled a bit as she stuttered, but it was clear she had been aiming for a firmer voice and missed by miles.

“Don’t see why he should want to know, princess, but sure, whatever.”

Fury gave Steve another annoyed look and stalked into everyone’s sight. For a second, Steve panicked – was his boss about to tell on him? – but the bulky man only walked in, a professional greeting on his lips.

“Good afternoon, madam. What can we do for you today?”

“Oh, good afternoon, sir-“

“My name is Nicolas Fury, I own the SHIELD Car Repairs. May I be of service?” he continued pleasantly, a businessman in his heart. And actor in his soul, apparently, because Steve was sure he figured out what was going on from the few words he had heard and from Steve’s cowardice and was now putting up a face.

“Mr.Fury, thank you for your readiness, however I was only just leaving. Your staff was most helpful,” she said, polite and respectful, almost a hint of a kind smile in her tone as if she hadn’t sounded on verge of tears only a moment ago. As if the guys hadn’t been jerks to her, standing up for him and his… ugh, his hurt feelings.

“Very well then. Have a pleasant day. Should I walk you out?”

“I actually already offered to walk Ms. Carter out if that’s alright with ya’,” Pietro quickly stepped in, a voice that hadn’t spoken since she had arrived.

“Thank you for choosing SHIELD Car Repairs, Ms.Carter,” Fury’s voice echoed through the shop, complete silence following for what felt like an eternity.

Steve gulped, knowing all too well Fury was waiting for him to come out of his hiding spot.

And sure enough – the boss’ eye found him the moment he returned. “Mr.Fury-“

“For fuck’s sake, Rogers, don’t pull shit like ‘dat in my shop. And all of ya’ – less chatting, less big-mouthing customers and for fuck’s sake, don’t go jerk into the bathroom now just because a girl in skirt showed up. Get your head in the game… and don’t drop anything on your fucking toes, accidents on a workplace are shit to deal with.”

Steve nodded with fervour, going back to his station, even when he couldn’t say that his head was in the game. No, his head was miles away, with beautiful pouty lips, the sweetest smile and a body to write sonnets for.

When Pietro came back, he didn’t say a word, but Steve could feel him burning a hole in his head with how much he stared.

That night, Steve switched from beer to whiskey, just once, hoping to drown out the sorrow that consumed him at simply hearing her voice.

Two months later, two months of Steve avoiding Maximoff’s diner like a plague and dodging Pietro Maximoff’s attempts to have a minute alone with him, a Good Samaritan left a newspaper on Steve’s doorstep. Steve, utterly confused and bone-tired from the long day at work, lifted it and started flicking through the pages absentmindedly as he went inside of his apartment.

And there, right among the obituaries, were marriage announcements, one single photo from a wedding.

She was stunning in her dress, the fabric appearing as delicate and soft as her skin when Steve had felt it under his rough fingers the day she had asked him to make love to her. A smile, crooked and melancholic, played on Steve’s lips at the memory, her breathless moans echoing in his ears.

In the photo posed a beautiful bride with her husband; and yet, Steve couldn’t make himself think she looked as pretty as she had been when sitting on his bed, misplaced, breath-taking and tempting, as pretty as she had been in the moments of ecstasy he had brought her with his loving; for the first time and for the last time at once.

He abandoned the paper on the counter and poured himself a glass of whiskey, bringing it up, hesitating an inch from his lips.

Eyeing the amber liquid, stirring it in the glass, he recalled a movie he had been to with Buck a long time ago. He had never seen people do it in real life, they certainly hadn’t done that at his ma’s funeral, but it would feel symbolic perhaps; the action of pouring a drink into a freshly dug grave was as outside his reality as the foolish idea of a relationship with her, after all.

Taking the newspaper to his hand once more, straightening the picture, he let himself feast his eyes on her. She was radiant, like sun, like the damn sunflowers on her dress the day he had met her.

Shaking his head, he threw the paper to the trash, picture up. Pouring half the whiskey on it, he buried the bittersweet memory of his untouchable uptown girl;downing the rest, he ignored the burn in his eyes and focused on the one in his throat.

As much as he hated himself for it, his last thought before he fell asleep that night was of her, a minute of wonder if she had ever truly been as affected as he was, at least for a moment; he lulled himself to sleep hoping that perhaps she had.

He dreamed of reaching out to Mrs.Maximoff as she had asked the guys to tell him to do. He dreamed of her being there the next time he came in, with an inviting and yet sad smile, a big-ass diamond on her finger… her cherry-flavoured kiss of goodbye lingering on his lips when he opened his eyes to a new day.

He took the trash out that very morning, adding a half-finished sketch he torn away from his book.

It was the last time he saw her.

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Thank you for reading! Scroll to the end of the fic for notes. ….Or? ;)

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That night, Steve switched from beer to whiskey, just once, hoping to drown out the sorrow that consumed him at simply hearing her voice.

In the night of week four turning to week five, Steve’s eyes snapped open to the darkness of his apartment. Momentarily confused, not remembering a nightmare or anything that would cause him to wake up so abruptly, he groaned when he reached for the alarm clock on his nightstand only to find out it was half past one.

He woke up for no fucking reason barely two hours after he went to bed.  

Furious knocks on his door made him jolt, his irritation only growing.

Not without a reason then – some fucker was-- ugh. People were fucking assholes. He was not getting up from his bed for sure.

“Fuck off,” Steve muttered, lying back down face first, determined to ignore-

His door rattled with the force of the next series of knocks and he growled, scrambling to his feet, shuffling to the door and wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“C’min’, comin’, Jesus, fuck.”

Unlocking and opening the door for a slit, Steve stared at the face of his night visitor, absolutely baffled.

“The fuck, Pietro? Do ya’ know wad time ‘zit?”

“No. Do ya’?” the blond retorted, his voice dripping sarcasm and Steve really wanted to shut the door to his face. It was too early – or late – for Steve to deal with that bullshit. “Pack your bags, Rogers, Natasha has a free room.”

Steve briefly wondered when the fuck the world stopped making any goddamn sense, but opened the door fully for his clearly delusional friend. For all Steve knew, Pietro could be having a stroke, he’d better hear him out.

“Huh?” he hummed, his palms massaging his bloodshot eyes. “Da’ fuck are ya’ talkin’ ‘bout?”

“Natasha? My cousin? Remember her?”

Why the hell was Pietro acting as if it was completely normal to stop by a guy’s loft to talk about his cousin, one Steve hadn’t even met?

Steve sighed, humouring the other man. “Yeah? Married some… general or somethin’? What’s ‘dat-”  

“Colonel, yeah. She’s the one who lives in Baltimore. She got a room for ya’,” Pietro repeated, still not making an ounce of sense.

“The fuck’d I do in Baltimore?” Steve asked tiredly, earning a look that told him that it was fucking obvious. Which it wasn’t really, not to him.

…was this a fever dream?

“Open your own shop, dumbass, or find a spot in some. Make money for that pretty gal of yours and that little cute as fuck babies you’ll make.”

Steve’s heart dropped to his stomach at the mention of you, fully prepared to rip Pietro a new one to wake him in the middle of the night to fuck with him—but  he caught a movement to Pietro’s right from a corner of his eye and his heart leaped right back, suddenly sprinting.

This was most definitely a fever dream. Steve felt his jaw drop, his eyes fixing on the vision in front of him as he entirely tuned out Pietro’s next words.

“She must like you real big if she’s willin’ to sell her family nick-nack to look at your ugly mug every day. And skip town and shit…”

And a vision his beautiful uptown girl was, a mirage his mind must have come up, because there was no way she was standing there, sheepish as always, but instead of her dress, wearing a pair of jeans and a simple red blouse, a denim jacket unbuttoned, hanging loosely over her shoulders. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, threw over her left shoulder.  

And shit, she talked too, which made it appear this was in fact real.

“Good evening, Steve. I am sorry to wake you,” she whispered, leaving him stare at her blankly, dumbstruck, breath stuck in his chest.

“I’ll drive ya’, Dr.Strange’s car needs a test ride. Fury’s payin’ for the gas, by the way, the ol’ bastard,” Pietro continued as Steve managed to only watch the woman he had been missing for the past weeks lower her gaze, her teeth anxiously biting on her lower lip, fingers toying with the edges of her jacket. Hers? “I’ll be back by tomorrow afternoon, even have an hour or two to spare. That’s if you start packin’ now, bud.”

The mention of packing snapped Steve from his trance, all the emotions hitting him like a damn truck. Anger, longing, more confusion, restlessness as his girl was standing only few feet away from him and he couldn’t take it anymore.

He took a hesitant step towards her, ignoring the smirking man clearing his path.

“What—what are ya’ doin’ here?” Steve asked incredulously, his inner turmoil reflecting in his voice. She hadn’t showed up for weeks and now-- what exactly was she doing here? “You- you’re engaged-”

Gulping, she looked up, her eyes glistening with unshed tears; yet, a hint of a smile spread on her lips as she shifted her weight from one foot to another. For the first time, Steve also noticed her shoes, a simple pair of sneakers looking bizarre on her feet.

“To a man who loves my best friend and vice versa, my best friend who has been covering for me whenever we were together before it blew to our faces,” she explained, not daring to raise her voice above whisper. Steve still didn’t understand – not fully, unable to comprehend what was happing on his doorstep. Pietro talking about his cousin, about driving, Fury paying for gas, the woman he still loved standing there as if ready to skip town- “She was too covering for me when I talked to Mrs. Maximoff when she helped me to plan this. Pietro said you would want this as well— but- but if you don’t, I will leave you alone. I-“

The day Steve had met the strange girl from uptown, Bucky hadn’t failed to mention Pietro was the fast one, clearly implying Steve was the slow one.

Bucky should have fucking seen Steve now when she hesitated, unsure of his feelings – he had never acted so fast in his whole damn life.

He crossed the distance in one long stride and his hands shot up to her, grabbing her by her shoulders unceremonially. Before she could react, he pulled her body against his with all he got, claiming her mouth like there was no tomorrow.

He swallowed her yelp of surprise, followed by her happy laugh, feeling tears springing from her eyes, causing him to halt just as she finally started kissing him back.

“But your family-“ he blurted out, interrupted by her shaking her head wildly, hair flying.

“Mr. Ross has an eye on my sister. He is from a good family, of good name, generations of lawyers. My family will do splendidly,” she said with a smile playing on her lips, sweet and watery as tears still rolled down her face – happy ones, Steve believed. He felt the same delight bursting in him, switching from a broody cynic back to the fool in love in no time. “And we might too. We will have each other and I have learned enough to teach—or-- or I can be a waitress if I can’t find another job, it doesn’t matter, just so you are not the only one to-“

God, he loved her. She was so adorable and sweet and was talking about being his and going from basically a modern princess to a damn waitress, because she was willing to be with him whatever the fucking cost, apparently--

And was there really anything else he could do?

He grabbed the back of her neck to connect their mouths again, a hungry open-mouthed kiss, his hand fisting in her hair, because holy fuck, how was this happening, she was here and she was his-

“Alright, alright, smoochin’ later, packin’ your friggin’ bags now, Rogers,” Pietro cleared his throat loudly, sounding only as annoyed as amused. “I have a long drive ahead.”

Later, bags hazardously full and piled up in the trunk and on the backseat next to them, Steve couldn’t stop smiling and yet he felt a pang of guilt, ruminating over everything she was giving up.

She was resting her head on his shoulder, their interlaced fingers in his lap and Steve revelled at the absence of an overpriced engagement ring on her hand, the one from his ma’s securely in one of his bags to take place on her finger one day. She was walking the fine line between the real world and the dreamland, breathing softly to the crook of his neck and she seemed content. For now.

He sighed and pressed what could be the hundredth kiss to her hair that night.

“Doll?” he whispered softly, the question burning on his tongue, the only one he could hope to actually have answered now and not after they would try and started a life together.

“Mm?” she hummed softly, nuzzling into him further, her lips brushing the exposed skin on his throat.

“Why me? You could have any of those-“ snobs “-high-class… uptown guys.”

The smile he felt against his skin had him melt into the seat as he chased away all the grim thoughts about what the future might bring, her regretting her decision and blaming him for her ruined life on top of that list.

“Because I love you, Steve, and you are worth ten of them. My amazing downtown guy,” she emphasized, filling Steve’s chest with the most delicious warmth, his heart swelling, feeling so full it might burst.

He knew she wasn’t just saying that – she meant it. If she hadn’t, she wouldn’t’ have been in his arms right now, heading to damn Baltimore with nothing but her bags, little money and few pieces of jewellery.

“I love ya’ too,” he whispered, this time pressing a kiss to her nose, drawing an exhausted giggle from her lips. Yep, his heart was about to burst before they even reached their destination. “Love ya’ so much. My sweet, sweet uptown girl.”

“Not so uptown anymore...”

Steve chuckled as rather than regret, her voice was filled with relief. “I’m willin’ to put up with ‘dat as long as ya’ stay mine.”

She squeezed his hand, tilting her head up, blinking up at him sleepily and softly pressing her lips to his.

“I think that can be arranged.”

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S.R. masterlist

cxptain’s challenge (check it out, prompts are still available - and who doesn’t like the 80′s?)

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Tags:

@wxstedhexrt, @comicshoplife, @elysianecho, @scentedsongrebel, @orions-nebula, @pies-writes-and-more​, @kayteewritessteve​, @murdermornings, @rinkashirikitateku, @queen-kass-the-writer

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….yes, in the first ending, there might have been a chance of our uptown girl planning an escape and Steve aka heartbroken dummy blew it. But hey, maybe not, perhaps she only wanted to say goodbye like he dreamed of… who knows. 

Aaaaanyway.

You are my hero if you finished reading this fic! Thank you so much for finding time to do that, this one truly was a beast – at least when I consider that it WAS supposed to be a one shot. 

Any feedback is appreciated, as always – good, bad (if constructive), coherent or incoherent, or ‘just’ a like if you enjoyed and don’t feel like putting feelings into words. Thanks again for reading!

[waiting4inspiration]

Truth and Trickery II: The Test

Summary: You discover something that you wish you had with Thor beside you

Warnings: mentions of dark content, mentions of a divorce, mentions of pregnancy, if I missed anything please let me know

Pairings: thor x reader, steve x reader (divorced)

Truth and Trickery Masterlist II Marvel Masterlist

(Gif does not belong to me. Credit to the owner. Found it on Google :))

You and Thor made an important decision about your wedding within a few days. Where you were going to get married. You argued the fact that because you were born in Midgard, you should marry here and then do some celebratory feast in Asgard when you return after a short honeymoon. Of course, you kind of had to explain what a honeymoon was, but after a playful fight (which resulted in a heated make-out session) he agreed to your idea. 

Then, he had to leave again. Asgard still had things he needed to attend to and he had to announce the future wedding to his people. Not to mention organizing and making sure that he has a trusted friend to oversee Asgard while he is away and that person always ended up being Heimdall. Nonetheless, that would take some time and it would feel longer for Thor than it would for you because of the different time lengths between realms. 

Nat was your maid of honor when you married Steve, so, sure as hell, she’s going to be your maid of honor for this wedding too. She’s really helpful when things need to get down and when people are being slow or stupid, she’s the one to sort them out quickly. But, you don’t want this wedding to be as big as the last. Everyone that will be there will be just the team, your family all gone now and who knows where Loki is prancing around nowadays. And because Thor is a Norse God, you want to take some inspiration from Viking weddings. You think it will be a nice touch that will make Thor smile. 

But now, getting sick every morning and turning your nose up for almost everything you normally like to eat makes you wish that Thor was back. He’s always able to make you feel better when you feel like shit. Especially when it’s something like the flu. Only, you’re not sure if this is really that. 

Weeks after Thor left and the nausea hasn’t gone away, you and Nat walk the streets and brainstorm a few ideas, your fingers twisting the ring that still feels a bit foreign on your hand. And that’s when you see it. A pregnant woman with an arm wrap on the underside of her bulging belly. 

Nat notices your distant mind, breaking it by clicking her fingers in front of your face and making you turn your somewhat pale face to her. “You okay? You just spaced out all of a sudden,” she speaks with concern, frowning at you when you quickly glance over your shoulder at what you were staring at. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I just…” you start, turning back to her as you let out a long sigh and shake your head at her. “I think I’ve got this bug that’s going around so I haven’t been feeling myself lately,” you lie, bringing a hand up to wipe the thin layer of sweat on your forehead away. Giving her a gentle smile to try and hide the lie, you feel relieved when you see her confusion melt away, her eyes softening as she gently touches your arm, taking the bait and believing the lie. 

She sighs and shakes her head a bit. “Well, best get sick now so that you’re over it by the time of the wedding,” she jokes and you have to force out a laugh. Yeah, jokes on you because this sickness is going to take nine months to get rid of… “Go home. Get some rest and I’ll call you tomorrow.”

You laugh at her and drop your gaze to your feet as you bite your lower lip. “I’ll call you, okay? This wedding isn’t going anywhere until Thor gets back,” you chuckle, smiling at her eagerness to plan a wedding with you. The first time you did this with her, you both had the absolute time of your lives. And doing it again now, it’s helping you reconnect that friendship you had with her. 

Of course, on your way home, you stop at a drug store and get what you need and you contemplate if you should get more than one box to be sure. But considering that it’s Thor, you’re pretty sure that one pregnancy test will be fine. 

When you get back to the apartment, that urge to find out if you’re pregnant or not quickly disappears and you don’t know if you want to do this. Nevermind doing this without Thor. If you are pregnant, you want to find out with him beside you, comforting you and telling you that if it’s true he will be the happiest man in the world. 

What if you are pregnant and he comes back months later when you’re already showing or even after you’ve already had the baby? What if he thinks that you got back together with Steve and it’s his or Bucky showed up again and he wasn’t here you save you from him and…

Your rambling thoughts are cut off when a knock sounds at the front door, making your heart stop for a second as your head snaps towards the bathroom door. Glancing down at the test in your hands, no result showing on the screen just yet, you have to force yourself to put it down beside the sink and answer the door. 

You know you should have checked the peephole before opening the door, but you’re stuck in the baffled mindset, the reality that you could be pregnant only hitting you when you unboxed the test and read through the instructions. And seeing Steve standing in the doorframe makes you regret opening the door. You can’t deal with this right now…

“Steve. What are you doing here?” you question, placing a hand just under your heart and slightly above your stomach when you find yourself slightly breathless. “How did you find-”

“I asked Nat,” he states, stepping into the apartment without being invited in. “I think it’s time you and I talked,” he mentions, turning around to you as you close the door. 

Your eyes quickly flicker over to the clock on the wall. About one more minute left. “What do you want to talk about, Steve? We’re not a thing anymore and that’s what you wanted,” you sternly say, looking back to him and folding your arms over your chest. 

He bites the inside of his cheek, dropping his gaze to the floor and taking in a deep breath before pushing it back out. “Yeah, I know. I just thought that maybe I could have proved to you that I realized what I lost-”

“Steve, look. I’m engaged to Thor. I’m going to start a future with him and you need to start thinking about your own future. Without me,” you cut him off, holding up a gentle hand to stop him from speaking. “You made your first mistake by divorcing me because you were stuck in the past. With Peggy. Don’t make that same mistake because you’re stuck in the past with me,” you state, shaking your head at him as he slowly lifts his head up to you. 

Staring at each other for a while, you hear your heart pounding against your chest and think of that stick in the bathroom. How much longer? “Sit down. Give me a moment and then we’ll talk,” you whisper, pointing to the sofa before turning around. Your eyes catch the clock. Seeing that a minute has passed makes a sharp gasp leave your lips and you have to try and leave the room without seeming suspicious to Steve. 

But he notices the sharp gasp and sees your shoulders slightly tense. Knowing that something is going on, he follows you as quietly as he can. Frowning when you walk towards the bathroom, he slowly turns the corner after you’ve entered it. 

Though your back faces him, he can see your reflection clearly. You’re staring down at something in your hands, your mouth hanging slightly open as you blink furiously. Then his eyes drift to the side where he spots the box the object in your hands came in. “You sure you’re not marrying him because you’re pregnant?” he questions, making you jump and turn around to him, holding the test behind your back. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you lie, your words coming out like a trembling leaf as he starts to step forward. You forget that there’s a mirror behind you, showing the test that you’ve tried to hide and you drop your head in shame when he reaches behind you and takes the stick out of your hand.

He stares down at the screen, the positive sign staring back at him, almost mocking him by saying that it could have been his child if he hadn’t divorced you. If he hadn’t have been so selfish. “I’m not marrying him just because I’m pregnant,” you finally say after a long silence, lifting your gaze up to him again as he breaks his stare away from the test. “I love him. With all my heart. And I want to be with him for the rest of my life,” you explain, taking the test out of his hands and placing it back on the counter. 

Steve shakes his head at you as he runs his tongue over his lips. “You’ve only known him for a year, (y/n). We were together way longer than that before I even considered looking for a ring,” he reminds, taking your hand in his and looking down at the ring on your finger. 

It’s not a fancy ring and you don’t need it to be. It’s perfect for you because it came from Thor and you hate how cheesy that sounds. “It may feel like it’s been a year, Steve. But in Asgard, it feels like it’s been 10,” you state, trying to pull your hand away from him when you notice that he’s starting to move closer to you. But he has your hand firmly in his and you have to harshly pull away from him. “Time is different there than it is here.”

“So, I guess this means you won’t be joining the team again, huh?” he chuckles, looking back up at you but his smile fades when you don’t smile back at him. “Guess I’ll just have to live with being that outcast in the team then,” he mutters, turning away from you to walk away. 

You can tell he’s trying to guilt-trip you and it makes you roll your eyes. “They let you back into the team for a reason, Steve. Because you’re good at what you do and they need you.”

“Yeah, but I had to earn my spot again,” he sneers, turning around on his heels to look back at you. “Hours of community service like Tony suggested and one hell of a lecture from everyone. Not to mention that I had to cut all ties with Bucky, the man I’ve been best friends with since I was a kid,” he growls, his face taking on a red shade as he rolls his hands into fists. “I haven’t seen him since that day in the coffee shop,” he states, glaring at you like it’s all your fault. 

Shaking your head in disbelief, you push yourself away from the counter and walk towards him. “How can you still consider him a friend after what he tried to do to me? When you saw, with your own eyes, how he tried to overpower me, determined to own me like an animal,” you sneer, pointing a harsh finger into his chest when you reach him. “How can you defend him?” you question, staring up at him as you bite your lower lip. “Just...leave,” you whisper, pushing past him and walking back to the living room. 

He calls your name, turning to follow you and spots you shaking your head as you walk away. You throw open the front door and turn back to face him. “Please, Steve. Just go,” you beg, clutching onto the door handle and looking down at the ground as he starts to walk towards you. 

Standing in front of you for a moment, hoping that you look back up at him, he slowly reaches up to touch your cheek but your turn your face away from him. With a heavy sigh, he drops his hand and turns to walk away, the door softly closing behind him. 

You press your back against the door and breathe out a loud breath. One that you had been holding in all this time. Resting a hand over your stomach, you remember that positive symbol on the test and it makes you turn your gaze up to the ceiling. “Heimdall, if you can hear me, please tell him that I need him to come back. That I need to speak to him. So that I can tell him in person that I’m…” You trail off, knowing that if Heimdall can hear you and if he’s listening, then he probably already knows what you want to tell Thor. And now, you can only wait.

[darylandbethfanforever9]

Downfall Of Us All: Chapter 11

Downfall Of Us All

Chapter 11

AN: Thank you to @jtargaryen18​ for helping e write this story, I couldn’t have done it without her.

Bucky searched the other rooms and came across piles of clothing. There was a black Chanel suit, with a white blouse, and other items of clothing. He checked the laptops, and all of them had been wiped clean. HYDRA wasn’t taking any chances. He felt sick as he remembered what Grace had said. HYDRA was going to use Jane, Darcy and Pepper as incubators for HYDRA agents. God knows, what they were going through right now. Sophie came in with a look of pure hatred, she started searching through the boxes when she pressed something. The bookcase behind Bucky opened, revealing an underground lab. "What the hell?" Bucky muttered darkly, he radioed the others and Steve cautioned him and Sophie to be careful, as they cautiously entered the room. There were Petri dishes, and four recently removed cryostasis chambers in the room. Bucky ventured further, and saw a room had no windows.

He cautiously took a look and was inwardly horrified, to see the six dead bodies of young women ranging from their twenties to early thirties. 

He looked at Sophie as they opened the door, and saw the bodies lying lifelessly on the ground. They'd been dumped like trash, wearing hospital gowns. "How long have they been dead?" Sophie asked quietly, horrified at what she was seeing. Had her mother been forced to face this daily? Being constantly experimented on and getting pregnant until the pregnancy was successful. "The two oldest have been dead for at least four weeks, but they've not rotted yet. These three youngest though, it looks recent." Bucky said quietly, when one of the women grabbed his metal. "El Diablo....his name is El Diablo. He won't stop, please get it out of me!" The woman screamed in agony, Sophie was horrified to see blood staining her legs. "We're going to get you help, don't worry." Sophie reassured comfortingly, when the woman's skin glowed orange. Bucky grabbed Sophie and pulled her behind a wall. The explosion shook the building, taking out a part of the room and smoke billowed around them. Bucky looked up to see that Sophie had conjured up a spider web to stop any debris from failing on them, he nodded in thanks. She nodded, as Bucky spoke to Steve. "Steve, you and the others better come down here. The woman just......she just exploded." He said quietly, feeling dread run through him.

"You're not gonna like it, Cap but I know what caused the explosion." Tony said grimly, no humour in his voice for once. His dark brown eyes looked grim, and troubled. "What do you think it is, Tony?" Steve asked quietly, Bucky and Sophie had re-joined the team as SHIELD agents took the bodies to the compound. None of them trusted the government to autopsy the bodies, so Bruce, Jemma and Helen had offered to do it. "Extrimis. It's an advanced form of genetic manipulation created by Maya Hansen and Aldrich Killian, using nanotechnology. It grants the human body the ability to heal and regenerate from physical damages, deformities and even psychological damages." Tony explained darkly and swallowed. "It can regrow limbs, but it's dangerously unstable. When the person with Extrimis tried to regrow the missing limb, they explode. Pepper's the only one, aside from Killian that hasn't exploded. Even after it was removed," he added grimly, and swallowed. "Do you think that's why they took Pepper? Because she had Extrimis in her?" Sophie asked quietly, Bucky standing close to her with Grace and Clint. "It's a possibility, you know. They're abducting Enhanced, Gifted, Mutant and Inhuman women. So, they took Jane and Pepper because they're both Enhanced but Darcy isn't." Bruce said gravely and sighed. That was when a flash of light appeared, and they saw two men standing in front of them. Thor, and Loki. "Have you found Lady Jane, and Lady Darcy?" Thor asked hopefully, Steve grasped his shoulder gently. "Not yet, Thor but we know who took them and why." Steve explained gently, Loki looked at him sharply. "Did HYDRA take Lady Jane and Lady Darcy, as hostages?" Thor asked intently, Steve shook his head. "No, Thor not for that reason. HYDRA took Jane, Darcy and Pepper to experiment, and breed children with them," he explained gently, seeing Thor's face turn in an expression of rage. "Do you have any idea where they are now, Captain?" The God of Thunder asked pleadingly, he still deeply loved Jane and was heartbroken when she'd left him.

"Working on," Tony joined them. "Sorry, big guy. We're going to do everything we can to find them." Even Loki's gaze was sympathetic on his brother. "Jane is strong," Loki told him. "She will last, brother, until we can find them." Thor nodded, his face grim. Steve just hoped he was right.

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They'd been back at the compound for a few hours. The bodies of those poor women were being autopsied. Sophie and Grace had disappeared into their rooms and even though Steve had invited him to watch the game with him, he just didn't feel up to it. Steve knew things like this took him back to the dark places in his memory from his decades with HYDRA and tried to keep him from going there. Some doors would never permanently close. The knock on his door was barely there, so he knew who it wasn't. Blowing out an exhale, he went to the door to find Sophie there. "Come in," he told her. Closing the door behind him, he led her back to the couch. Sophie wasn't here expecting him to act normal, to act like everything was okay. Her past was filled with shadows like his, the hurt she felt reflected in her eyes. "How's Grace?" he asked gently. Sophie shook her head. "Finally, asleep." "Are you okay?" "I'm trying, Bucky, I really am but…" Swiping at her tears, her gaze didn't leave her lap. "I just… Is there any way we can have her work on something else besides this? Can Steve help us? It's just knowing what I know now about what happened to her. Knowing what they put her through… They can't mean to put her through this. Maybe she can work on something else. With Peter. He's not even an adult yet, Bucky. He shouldn't be involved in something like this." "Hey," he whispered, watching her curl in on herself. "Come here." Pulling her in to him for a hug, he wrapped her up in his arms, just holding her. "We'll talk to Steve," he said into her hair. "I'm a little worried about the effect of all this on you. But no matter what happens, we'll get through this." Sophie held onto him so tightly, like he was the only anchor she had. They stayed there for long moments in the quiet of the room. In that moment, it was so hard to believe the outside world and all its ugliness even existed. In that moment, it was just them and feeling her heart beating against his was the sweetest thing he'd felt in years, decades. When she eased back to look up into this face, Bucky couldn't help but stare at her. Sophie was beautiful, kind-hearted. He hated everything Ross was putting her and Grace through, but he had to selfishly admit that if it hadn't happened, she wouldn't be here with him. In his arms… She deserved better. When Sophie gently pressed a kiss to his mouth, he froze. Her gaze searched his face and slowly, she smiled. When she kissed him again, he kissed her back, being so careful because it was already a miracle that she was here with him now. Her mouth was so soft and sweet...

Bucky relaxed into her kiss, smooth his flesh hand through her hair. He loved everything about it from her warmth against him to way her fingers were tangling themselves in her hair. When Sophie pulled back from his again, he could only stare at her in wonder. "That was nice," she told him shyly. He had to laugh at that. "I'm just glad I remembered how to be honest." The smile that earned him had his heart melting. "I read somewhere that you used to be quite a lady’s man back in the day," she said with a smile. His brows shot up. "You read about me?" "You were in our history books in school," Sophie explained, and he loved seeing her face lit up like that. "That was in your history books?" he wanted to know. Sophie shook her head playfully. "No, that was in some additional reading I did. I loved your story. I mean… you were a hero." Bucky shook his head. "I'm no hero, doll." "I think you are," she assured him. "You can't change my mind. You kind of live up to the legend."

Bucky didn't say anything to Sophie's words, she thought he was a hero and he wrapped his arms around her tightly. She leaned into his embrace, just needing Bucky's comfort, as Raymond and Starling settled beside them. "And you're a hero too, Sophie." Bucky said firmly, holding her close and Sophie leaned into him. She was deeply troubled by what they had found out today, and worried about Grace. She just hoped that they would find the three missing women and find her beloved nephew. Otherwise....it was just too painful thinking about it.

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Grace had only slept for three hours, before the nightmares had started haunting her again. This time it was Jane, Darcy and Pepper who were glaring at her. "You're the reason we were taken! Do you have any idea what they're doing to us?!" Jane screamed angrily, Grace could feel her heart pounding. "I'm so sorry, we're going to find you all. I swear, I never wanted this either," Grace confessed quietly, trying to remain calm but her hands were shaking. 'It's just a nightmare, just a nightmare. I'll wake up soon,' Grace thought desperately, tensing up when she saw Darcy stalking towards her with hatred burning in her sky-blue eyes. "This is you, and your sister's fault! They wanted you, but they took us instead to be experimented on, and raped! Some Avenger you are!" Darcy spat, and she saw someone else. The little boy had dark blonde hair, and dark hazel eyes. He was dressed in a pair of jeans, and a Captain America t-shirt. Zach. "Why couldn't you save me, mommy?" Zach asked upset, as she saw Rumlow behind him with a chilling smile. "Hey blondie."

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Grace woke up gasping for breath, tears swimming down her face silently as she sat in her bedroom. She felt her body shaking with sobs and buried her face in her hands. Her baby boy, her precious baby boy was out there somewhere. God knows, what he was going through or what was being done to him at this minute. It had almost been two years, and she wanted her son back. She cried silently and buried her face in her hands. She felt responsible for what was happening to Jane, Darcy and Pepper. For her son being taken away and failing to protect him. She stumbled out of the bed, she nearly ended up tripping over her converse trainers. She curled up, sobbing as she heard someone entering the room. "My baby, my baby boy. I'm sorry, I love you and Auntie Sophie loves you, and so does Uncle Peter and Aunt May. I'm sorry, god forgive me." Grace sobbed brokenly, weeping silently. Rough calloused hands, gently held her and she sobbed harder. She knew who it was, he wouldn't judge her for crying. For grieving over her son, and parents. "He's gone, Clint. I don't know why, but a part of me is saying he's gone. My baby boy's gone, but I don't want to believe it. I just want the pain to stop," she sobbed distraught, Clint held her tightly and felt his own eyes burn with tears. "Grace, we're not gonna stop looking for him. We'll find him, I promise honey." Clint promised firmly, Grace sniffled. "I'm scared Clint, I feel numb here." She said tiredly, gesturing to her heart, and Clint swallowed back tears of his own. God, he knew what she meant. He felt numb, like someone had torn his heart out and pieced it back together. But his grief for Cooper and Lila would never go away, it would stay with him. "Does it ever stop hurting? Will it ever go away, or am I going to be driven mad by it?" Grace asked numbly, her emotions were over the place and so were her powers. Clint held her tightly, feeling her relax in his arms. "No, the pain never goes away Gracie. We have to live with it and carry on. But you've got Sophie, Peter and us here to help you. You...got me." He said quietly, Grace held onto him. "Be honest with me, Clint. Do you think Zach's alive?" She asked bravely, wanting the truth from the archer. "It's been two years, with no sightings of him. But, he's a tough kid and if he is dead...then we'll make the bastards pay for what they've done." Clint vowed fiercely, Grace gave him a watery smile. "I just want him at peace, Clint. It's like I can sense him, but he's in limbo. What if we never find him?" She asked tearfully. Clint held her. "We won't stop looking Grace, we won't. We won’t give up or rest, unless we find him dead or alive." Clint said firmly, Grace sniffled.

"Let's get you back to bed," Clint whispered. "You have to rest, honey." "Clint, I can't sleep," she told him even as she let him gently ease her to her feet. "I see them. I see him when I close my eyes." "I know… Netflix then," he offered. "You don't have to sleep. We'll catch a movie or a show like we did the other night. And I'll be right here." Grace nodded. She didn't want to be alone. She didn't want to burden Sophie. Since her sister had learned what really happened to her, the sadness in her eyes was more weight she carried. She knew Sophie was the older sister, would somehow blame herself. Clint was the one person who could listen to her without pity, who understood her. "Stay here? With me?" Clint nodded. "I can do that." Grace led him back to her bed. Something just occurred to her. "You were already here," she told him. "How… how did you know?" "You… I see you in my dreams, Grace," he admitted, sitting on the end of her bed. "I'll hear your voice and I'll follow it. Guess, I'm just figuring out that's… that's real." Grace moved to stand between his thighs, pulling her to him, his cheek pressed against her stomach. "I'm sorry, Clint," she whispered. "I'm not trying to… pull you into my dreams." He looked up, his grey eyes filled with concern. "I'm not complaining, Grace. I guess I want you to know if you ever need to reach me, do it. I want to be there for you." When she didn't know what to say to that, he reached up on her bed and grabbed the remote. He smiled, "So what are we watching?" "Something funny?" "No chick flicks," he teased. "I could have lived my entire life without seeing The Notebook." Grace couldn't help but chuckle at that. "You're just afraid I'll tell everyone you cry at sad movies." "I so do not," he playfully argued. "Mmmm-hmmm. Keep telling yourself that." Grace glanced back over her shoulder. "I'll go see what I've got for snacks." Clint got Netflix started and rose to follow her. "I'll come with you."

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The next day Grace was feeling slightly better. Netflix with Clint had amounted to watching one of the endless Mission Impossible movies for about twenty minutes and falling asleep. Clint was stretched out next to her, three of her cats curled up and cosy on him. She couldn't help but smile at that. Stretching she threw her legs over the side of the bed, knowing they needed to get downstairs for training. The autopsies would take place today and she needed to stay busy. So busy… Clint opened one eye, blinking like a sleepy owl to see what was weighing him down. He laughed. "My left leg is asleep. How much does one of the cats’ weigh?" "He's big boned," Grace told him. "Yeah," he said teasing. "You ready to go train?" Grace nodded, and they agreed to meet in the gym within the hour. When she got there, Steve and Bucky were already there, looking to be in deep conversation. Then Peter strolled in. He smirked at her, shook her head. "I want another shot at that." "At what?" she had to ask. Just to see Peter's smiling face made her happy. He was like having a baby brother and she couldn't resist teasing him. "At the Black Widow… thing," he told her, folding his arms across his chest. "Well, I can use the practice in taking you down, so let's do it," she said with laughter in her voice. Grace took off, running at Peter. Before she could finish the move, he shot web at her, pulling her right leg out from under her and dropping her to the mat hard. Grace was winded as she laid there, stunned for a moment. "Yes" Peter was celebrating above her. "That worked!" Sam had just walked into the gym, grinning as he watched Grace climb to her feet. "Oh, little man, you're in for it now," Sam warned, smiling at her and back to Peter.

 Grace took off again, not going easy on Peter and vaulted over him, incorporating some of her gymnastic moves. She wrapped her legs around his neck, pinning him to the floor. "Holy shit, ok I give up!" Peter shouted quickly, amazed at how fast Grace was on her feet. She laughed and helped him up off the training mat gently. "You beat me, Peter. Just need to be quicker on your feet, and we'll make you faster," Grace said amused, Peter smiled as Clint entered the room with Sophie, and Natasha. Grace smiled when she saw Sophie walk over to Bucky, she was glad that her sister had someone to help her with everything that was going on. She felt better than she had yesterday, this team was truly feeling like a family to her. And she was going to help them save Darcy, Jane and Pepper.

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The autopsies on the six unknown women was taking place, and Helen Cho with the assistance of Bruce and Jemma examined the bodies. "Signs of multiple sexual assault on the three-woman, cause of death appears to severe blood loss. Jane Doe six appears to have given birth three weeks ago, and has vaginal scarring," Jemma said quietly, wishing they knew the poor women's names. It didn't feel right calling them Jane Doe, all three women were definitely Inhumans. But aside from that information, they learnt nothing else about them so far. DNA tests were being run, and Tony was running facial recognition software with Lilia. Everyone was praying they'd find Darcy, Jane and Pepper before HYDRA hurt them. "So, all six gave birth?" Bruce asked wearily, he felt sick at what he was seeing as Director Nick Fury entered the lab. He didn't like the grim expression on Fury's face, he looked horrified and Bruce swallowed. "We found a grave near the HYDRA base, three of our agents found the bodies of three infants," Fury explained quietly, his expression grim. Bruce exchanged a look with Helen and Jemma, feeling his heart sink as he braced himself for the rage. Thankfully, the Other Guy was quiet, and not acting out but he was livid. "Send the bodies here, Fury. We'll treat them with respect, and compassion." Jemma said quietly, Fury nodded and left.

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Pepper woke up to see that she was in a bed and dressed in a hospital gown. She had no idea where she was, as she saw a with dark brown come in. "Excuse me, where am I?" Pepper asked wearily, watching as the woman did something with her IV drip. She was starting to feel groggy and slumped against the pillows. "You're in safe hands, Miss Potts." The woman said reassuringly, Pepper relaxed as she let the sleepiness take over her. Laura smirked, as she saw Rumlow enter. "I have to admit, I'm impressed. You work quickly, Rumlow and Foster only started crying when you reminded her that she got herself into this mess." Laura said impressed, by Rumlow's efficiency. ------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tagging list: @jtargaryen18​, @marvelfansworld​, @sapphirescrolls​, @queenoftheunderdark​, @nomadicpixel​, @redfoxwritesstuff​, and @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​, and @my-favourite-fics​

[golddaggers]

a lil bit jealous

pairings: thor x reader, peter parker x reader

warnings: hm v nsfw but hey you signed up for it when you followed me hahaha. semi-public sex, thor being possessive. i guess the rest you already know. oh. and unprotected sex. but really, just for fictional value.

a/n: so. i combined these two into one because they kind of fit? well. i hope the both of you like it. 

word count: something like 2,2k+

Thor knew. Oh, but he knew so well that he deserved that, to watch you, his beautiful princess, dance with somebody else. To whisper in his ear and share an affectionate laugh, dirty hands roaming over your body as you smiled, throwing your head back. He also knew you were enjoying teasing him like that. You could feel his gaze burning your skin, careful, restrained, God only knows until when.

It was his idea to keep things between the two of you. To lay low until it was safe to be open about the relationship. Thor never considered, however, that he'd feel bothered by a boy. Peter Parker was certainly way cheekier than he would've had him for. It didn't help that he'd been your boyfriend back in your late teens. A little before the snap. You'd been heartbroken, finding comfort in Thor's beautiful words, no doubt you became such good friends.

When everything was undone, he was so terrified that he'd lose you it brought him to the breaking point and, after two years, he confessed he was in love with you. The soaked clothes, lips. A wet mess. One you'd never untangle yourself from.

"You know, I think your plan is going to end badly for me," Peter mumbles, heat coming to his fair complexion. "Thor is one hundred per cent looking like he's going to smash me with Stormbreaker."

"He won't." You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him to a hug. "You're my best friend, Pete. And that dumbass needs a little stimulation to come clean."

"Isn't it icky he's so much older than you?"

"I'm 21, not 15." An eye roll makes Peter laugh. "Plus there's not a single thing that's icky about that man."

"Too. Much. Information." Hiding your face on his chest, you muffle a chuckle. "He's coming over our direction, should I pretend I don't know about you two?"

Parker was clever, he'd figured out the two of you the moment he saw how protective Thor was over you during the battle. Sure. At first, you tried to disguise it as a mere friendship, that there wasn't much to it. You wanted to respect the aftertaste of his feelings for you. Though, deep down, you always knew his real thing was with MJ. You had rushed into this dating because being best friends made it seem like that was the right thing to do.

Subtly nodding, you cling to his shirt, feigning ignorance as a hand lands on your hip, softly pulling you away from Peter's arms. You meet a polite Thor, which is not exactly good news. By now, after a year together, even though it was a secret, you knew him well. When he was sad, relax, pissed. Anything and you knew. So did he. That was why he was calling bullshit on your innocent act.

"Sorry, kid, but I'm dancing with her now."

"Um, sure, Mr Thor." Peter is such a fanboy, you think, rolling your eyes at his nervousness. "Be safe."

"Thanks."

Once your friend is gone, Thor swoops an arm around your waist, you chest flush against his. The music was slow, not that it would matter, that man was never shy to do what he pleased. Which was why you could say you had engaged in some very public sex in a particularly hot afternoon at the beach. He pushed to one side the bikini bottoms and fucked the hell out of you while the people were in the water.

A shudder runs down your back when reminiscing on how well he had made you feel. You allow your hands to run down his shoulders, carelessly following the veins that popped on his bicep, your nose buried on his chest. Thor was wearing nothing but a white tee, the thin fabric allowing you to dwell in the scent that emanated from him. It smelt like that first rain after the drought. Like Petrichor.

“May I ask you something?” He’s weary, which makes you look up confused. Thor’s never weary with you. “And you will not be angry at me?”

“What have you done?” It’s a gentle whisper, letting out a little grunt as the rough of his beard prickles your palms, your thumb running along the line that separates the skin from the body hair. He doesn’t answer right away.

“Thor…”

“Do you, um… Care… For, well, Parker?”

The music disguises the laugh you let out, your face hitting his chest as you try to compose yourself. You couldn’t believe that it had actually worked. Thor was normally confident about himself, confident about what you felt about him. The fact he’d gained weight changed his perspective a little bit, just slightly. Sometimes he could get a bit self-conscious. But you’d never get tired of telling him how you found him even sexier. Manly. The sight of him naked dampened your panties like nothing else.

“Yeah, I mean, he's my best friend” You answer calmly, earning a shocked glare. “What is it? You know I do!”

Nostrils flared, his hand closes around your wrist, dragging you away from the dance floor and rushing you inside the first bathroom he could find. You’re taken aback, not knowing exactly what he was going to do. Perhaps you had exaggerated. Your mind comes back when he puts you on the sink with little effort, strength never affected, he still toys you around like a dolly. Then proceeds to pry your legs, fingers not shying from testing the water.

Thor groans when he feels the heat, pulsing. Claiming for his touch.

“You like it, don’t you?” There’s a ripping sound, your knickers destroyed. You clench, chewing your bottom lip while aching to be cared for. “You like when I bend you down and have my way with you.”  

“Y-yes,” Trying to keep balance, you put your hands on his broad shoulders, nodding weakly. “Oh, Thor…”

“So pretty moaning for me” He falls to his knees, yanking your bottom to finally savour your cunt, dripping, bruised-feeling for him. “So wet already, princess. How do you do that?”

“I, um, it’s you. You make me feel like that,” You mumble, miserably, holding back a loud, pornographic moan. “Think I don't notice your friend downstairs, your pants doing barely nothing to hide it? So hard and for me. Can't blame a girl for getting excited."

A groan slips as he takes in the taste of you, rough and demanding, your ass sliding so he could firmly grab your thighs, blue eyes looking at you like he'd eat you alive. The way his tongue swirls, smooth lips sending bolts of pure electricity across your body, you can't help the low moans, little pleasure-filled sounds that ignites Thor to get even hungrier.

Jesus. He's going to wreck you. So fully and completely.

Your fingers thread on his soft hair, tugging at the base whilst throwing your head back, the orgasm coming quicker than ever. If he was betting with himself about how fast he could make you cum, he was certainly winning.

Two thick fingers push inside and there's no way you could've helped the scream that fell. There's a smug grin on his face, which was still close enough for you to feel the feeling of his beard ghosting your entrance.

"That's it, princess." Thor murmurs, his thumb massaging the swollen bundle, bringing you closer and closer. "Don't hold it in. I want everybody to know you're mine and only mine, yeah?"

"Thor, shit. Imma'-" A third finger slams even harder, alongside the other two. It stretches you to a point you're no longer in control, your body rocking against his hand, seeking purchase. "God, so, so good!"

All it takes is the gentle touch of his lips on you again, fingers still buried to your end, pumping greedily. If he wasn't holding you in place, you'd fall, your entire frame shaking from pleasure, feet curling. Disjointed words slipped, you had no strength, nor mind to voice it out anything that made sense.

Back on his feet, you languidly watch him take place between your legs, opening them to a point that you never knew you could open. There was electricity flowing from him, stirring you to welcome all the size of him, swallow everything and become one.

"You're good?" His voice pitches low, pants and underwear pooling at his ankles, his dick in display, poking at your sensitive centre. You nod, hands grasping his forearms. "I need you to speak, princess. Say it."

"P-please, Thor. Fuck me." It's weak and breathlessly, but it's what he needed to enter you with a harsh snap of his hips, your pussy greeting his size with a clench, muscles still adapting to take all of that. "Shit. You feel so good inside me, stretching me, filling me."

"Hmm" Bottoming out, he thrusts back into you at ease, noticing your legs twitch, nails digging into his flesh, restrained little moans escaping. He can’t remember seeing something as beautiful as the mess of you writhing underneath him. “Perfect for me, my little girl takes me so well. So nicely.”

One of his hands sneaks up, bringing one of your breasts into his large hand, kneading, thumb grazing the sensitive skin, noticing the shudders that are crawling your skin, the way your head is thrown back and your eyes are barely open. His brain falters when he notices how good he’s making you feel. He loves knowing he can get you off so easily, that he breaks you apart like that.

The heel of your shoe scrapes his leg as you attempt to bring him closer, trying to sustain yourself enough to grab his shoulders, Thor chuckles, a thick arm wounding around your waist, pulling you up into his embrace. You moan louder than you should have when he slides deeper into you, your legs doing their best to stay wrapped around him, your own arms on his shoulders. This allows you to suck on his neck, tasting the salt slick skin, applying enough suction to leave a purple mark behind on his fair skin, hearing him groan, hands falling to your ass.

“Jesus.” The smooth rub of his lower belly on your nub was sending pleasureful waves through your body, each fuck of his hips into your velvet heat bringing you to cling harder into him. “You’re so good, dammit. Twice in only a few minutes?”

Thor smiles.

“I suppose.” His nose trails up your neck, lips brushing, both of you panting. “But I bet, I mean”

“I can’t believe you’re thinking about-” You are cut off when he speeds it up, your hips jerking to meet his. He puts you down on the sink again, skilful fingers circling the throbbing bundle of nerves and the others were too busy pinching one of your nipples. He was giving you pleasure from so many places you couldn’t even keep track. “Fuck, fuck, fuck”

“Tell me, you care for that boy, but could he make you feel as good as I do?” His words meet you roughly, a set of calloused hands grounding you down on the cold marble. “Could he make you cum like that?”

You shake your head weakly.

“Words, princess.” Blue eyes are staring at you with hunger, his face glistening from the pooling sweat. “Use them.”

“No, Thor. Nobody can make me feel as good as you do.” It’s too loud, too desperate, though he keeps smirking, proud of himself. Cocky. “I, uh, I…”

The sentence loses track as you fall into what feels like a peaceful sea, warming the tips of your toes, contracting all of your muscles then relaxing them all, your cunt swallowing him whole, pulling him to join in this blissful state of mind. You feel him spend himself inside you, you feel fill you up with his release, his breath ragged on your shoulder. It’s amazing, intimate. You could stay there forever, within his arms, feeling the adoration he has for you. The care he treats you.

Princess is way more than a nickname to him, he actually feels like he holds the responsibility to treat you like a princess. Like a queen. His queen.  

“That was-” You begin, still gasping. “Wow.”

“Oh yes. Wow indeed.” He pulls out, chuckling when he hears you groan. You jump down the sink, his cum leaking down your legs, wet and warm. “Should I get a tissue?”

It’s your turn to laugh.

“Yeah, I mean, not that I mind, but people are probably going to give us the stink eye. I mean, pretty sure the whole party heard us.”

“Not my fault you’re loud, princess,” Thor mumbles, falling to his knees so he can clean your legs and raw entrance with a dampen face towel he found. He can’t help but smile to himself, proud that you’re still throbbing from pleasure. “Beautiful. Mine.”

“I should definitely make you jealous more.”

There’s a wrinkle of confusion on his face when he looks up at you, still working the cool cloth along your pussy.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean-” Cupping his cheeks, you dwell on the feeling of his beard scraping your hands. “That I was teasing you so you’d finally admit we’re dating. I didn’t think it’d be like that, but well, it was good nonetheless.”

“You teasing little thing.” Thor grunts. “I suppose it was time for everybody to know.”

“Oi lovebirds” There’s a knock on the door. Tony’s voice sounding very angry. “You’re ruining my bathroom! And my party! Come out already.”

You and Thor exchange one last intimate glare, the both of you smiling joyfully.

“Ready to do this?” With hands intertwined, you give him a gentle squeeze.

“With you? Always.”

tags!

forever 

@sea040561 @momc95

marvel 

@frenfics @mrscutiefandobhaz

thor

@lancsnerd @odinson-barnes @rishlo @desia2 

[thewriterwithnoplan]

Anti-Hero (Part 4)

Summary: They always told her a few key things; Humans are not loving, And Humans are not divine. Midgard is not safe, And Midgard is not kind. Earth is not good, And Earth is not pure. Terra is not clean, And Terra is not secure. The unspoken truths of humanity. Maybe it was high time she believed them. Pairing: Eventual!Peter Parker x Reader Word Count: 1456 Warnings: None.

Five Years Later

“Are you sure we can do this, мама?” Y/N whispered softly, to the redhead before her.

It had been a long five years of cleaning up humanity's messes. One would think that after one half of all life in the universe was decimated that, maybe they’d get a break. But the Avengers had inevitably been forced to become the peace brokers of the universe. Not that Y/N was complaining – it had been the best time of her life – but she was ready to rest.

Natasha gave the smallest of smiles, “We have to try, мое дитя (My child).”

Y/N swept her gaze across the others gathered around her, the heroes who refused to fall. The men and women who had taught her what goodness was. Around her stood her family and her team, around her stood Avengers.

Yes, they would try. They would stand and fight, the world would knock them down as it always did but they’d stand again. Her mother, Natasha, had taught her that; A person isn’t valued in their ability to do good, but their courage to stand up for it.

Even when the Avengers had learned of her heritage as Loki’s heir to Jontunheim, they had accepted her. So, Y/N stood beside them, in her white spacesuit, proudly sporting the Avengers symbol. Yes, they would try.

“мы выиграем (We will win).” She told her mother firmly as they embraced one last time. The girl in green and gold smiled at the woman as she moved to her uncle’s side. Tony Stark smiled down at the newly minted Avenger.

“Scared, Little Gold Widow?” He murmured with a smirk, as the group set out their hands, preparing to travel through space and time.

“You forget дядя (----),” Y/N grinned up at him, a toothy expression that she saved only for her family, “Fear is the precursor to valor.”

“I suppose it is.”

***

Something had gone horribly wrong, again. The Avengers stood on Tony’s ingenious time contraption, staring excitedly at one another. But something was amiss. Y/N later wondered how she hadn’t instantly known that things were so terribly wrong. That in her mother’s place was a cruel stone.

It wasn’t until several moments later - after the team had paused in their reveling - that they realized Clint had been far too quiet. The man should have been ecstatic to be so close to his family. Unless… He’d already lost part of that family.

It was then that the youngest avenger fell to her knees, breath coming far too quickly until she was slumped into Tony’s side. But it didn’t matter who was trying to console her because they were not her mother. They were not the woman who took in the girl with nothing. That woman, the black widow, Natasha Romanoff, was gone.

“No.” Y/N whispered to the air around her, the gods above, whoever would listen.“No.”

Not again would she lose someone in vain. Not again would she be bound to sit by idly. Never again would she sit stiffly in the corner while the world crumbled around her. She was Y/N Lokidottir Romanoff for god’s sake and she would burn the world down.

они победят (They will win).

***

Y/N stood in her room, looking down on the outfit laid across her bed. She had entered the room with the intent to don the gold armour and green cloak. But looking upon it now… It was a mockery of everything she had become, everything her mother had taught her.

No longer was she the child from Asgard nor the girl who had raged against humanity. It wasn’t Mischief who stood in the Avenger’s facility, it was someone else born in her mother’s image, it was the Gold Widow. She was cast from the burning gold that her father, Loki, had created but she had been forged by Natasha.

Y/N stared upon the armour of someone she had long put to rest. Someone, she would remember but would not be. She looked upon the last vestiges of Mischief and got to work.

***

Dressed in dark green the Princess of Asgard emerged from her room. Each footfall was like an earthquake, shaking her very being as she glimmered like a newly cut jewel. Her hands hung through the loops on her belt, framing the Widow symbol that glittered bright gold there. Upon her brow two elegantly curling horns marked her as the Goddess she proudly was.

Vaulting boots encasing her feet and that letter holding vial jumped around her neck at every quaking step. The quiet tink of metal on metal as her vanishing daggers - now strung down her side – clatter together. A Queen in every sense of the word as she wore the symbols of her heritage.

Across her back laid another insignia, painted in gold cross the black-green cloak that had once been Loki’s. A family crest that she bore proudly. It was an elegant tangle of several emblems, one for each of the original Avengers. A tribute to the fallen, a tribute to those still fighting.

“A truly beautiful outfit Lady Y/N,” Thor complemented as those thundering footfalls led her into the heart of the facility – the heart of her home. “Lady Natasha and Loki would be proud.”

A watery smile danced across the girl’s face as she dipped her head in thanks, “Thor, if I may ask you a favor.”

Y/N pulled a piece of worn cloth from her pocket, flicked it open and held it out for the god of thunder. The others in the room watched curiously as Thor’s face softened from the drunken scowl he now often wore. For a small moment, the gathered group watched as the great Thor Odinson shone through the many walls he had built.

The god of thunder motioned for the girl to turn as he took whatever lay within the folds of that cloth. The Avengers paused to watch, abandoning the hard-earned stones, if only for a moment. Almost reverently Thor took a strand of her hair and began weaving a single black lock among her own H/C hair. When the Prince of Asgard was finished he returned to the cloth and produced a red curl to weave into her hair beside the first.

“Thank you,” Y/N whispered heavily and then after a pause, she added, “Frigga would be proud of the man you have become.”

“I’m not so sure about all that,” He chuckled, “But my brother was always proud of you.”

“He was proud of you too.”

It was silent for a few heartbeats before, “Thank you, Lady, it means much.”

“конечно дядя (Of course, ----).” Y/N’s hands curled around the glass vial around her neck as she turned toward the assembling infinity gauntlet.

“I don’t know what that means!” Thor called after her, earning little more than a light shake of her shoulders as she chuckled quietly to herself.

The avengers fluttered around the three geniuses they harbored. Y/N tried to help in any way she could – which was mostly bringing Tony drinks every other minute – as Tony, Bruce and Rocket worked to get the infinity stones prepared. An air of hesitance, a palpable tension laid in the atmosphere. They were so close.

“All right. The glove’s ready,” Rocket announced, “Question is, who’s gonna snap their freaking fingers?”

A tense argument over who would don the glove followed. The logical choices were simple, Banner or Thor. Y/N highly doubted that any of the Midgardians could survive even touching one stone. Of course, she wouldn’t be much better. There were several things holding her back from volunteering.

The first problem with her even coming into contact with the stones would be the fear. She had seen first-hand what the stones had done to Loki’s mind during the Battle of New York. The second problem was her unknown heritage, there was barely any proof that she really was an Asgardian. Sure, she was an Elemental Sorceress but if either of her birth parents had been from anywhere else, she would be as susceptible as a Midgardian. The third problem would be the same one that Thor would face, an undeniable need to bring back everyone, not just those that were safe to bring back.

“Don’t even think about it, Little Widow.” Tony hissed at her when he caught her eyeing the glove. Apparently, Tony was going to be the fourth obstacle between her and donning the glove.

“Wouldn’t dream of it

That left Banner, “It’s like… uh… I was made for this.”

He really was. The plan went off without a hitch. Right up until the moment the compound blew up and everything went to hel.

[romancingromanoff]

Bring Her Home Part 3/3 *Endgame Spoilers*

The final installment: Bringing Natasha home. This is the eulogy I wish someone could have actually given her. Note that I also don’t fully understand how the time traveling and previous timelines hold up exactly but I believe that all of the separate timelines that have brought the Avengers to where they are in the beginning of Endgame are all conserved and untampered with after Steve returns the rest of the stones. So I’m not sure exactly how it works out, but when he goes to relive his life with Peggy I’m assuming that’s a separate timeline where alternative events are also taking place with the characters a part of that universe. It’s confusing and I apologize, but I hope the ending makes sense to some degree. 

Part 1//Part 2

You had insisted in carrying her back in your arms even as you traveled through the quantum realm and were brought back to your own present day in upstate New York. When your feet finally hit solid ground again, you still couldn’t move them at first as you held Natasha tighter to your chest and looked down and studied her face. If you really pretended it was almost like she was simply sleeping and it was just one of those mornings where you had woken up earlier than her and had the chance to just take in how beautiful she was. Even then you never would have tried to wake her up; she rarely got a moment of peace and you didn’t mind watching her sleep. But now she definitely wasn’t waking up and the smile you gave her was bittersweet. As much as you wanted her to wake up this time and to come back to you, you knew that she was entirely at peace now and had the long rest she deserved. 

“I can take her,” a voice interrupted your thoughts and you looked up to see Steve with his arms open questioningly. You just nodded and allowed him to gently shift the weight of her body out of your arms and into his as you began to walk with him side by side back to base. Thor, Scott, Bruce, Bucky, Sam and a few more guys you hadn’t been introduced to yet just watched silently and followed a few feet behind you two out of respect.

“The other stones?” you inquired quietly still staring down at the ground.

“I thought I could wait till after the funeral. Her proper funeral,” he said gulping down some feeling of regret that was never truly his to carry. You didn’t blame him for not having the time for a proper funeral when they still needed to snap everyone back. That was exactly what she would have wanted. She wouldn’t have blamed them either; if anything, she would have fussed at them for being distracted while mourning over her and not finishing the job. She always finished the job. Between time traveling and simply how rough the last few hours had been for you in your real time, you couldn’t remember the last time you had eaten and you felt your body slowly giving out on you. You would have almost fallen right then and there if Clint didn’t suddenly appear at your side to steady you. Leaning against him you didn’t have the energy to say thank you and you could barely keep your eyes open at this point. The rest of the walk back was silent from that point on except for the distant sounds of gentle creek water and birds and the second just before you drifted into a deep sleep and Clint scooped you up entirely, in your mind you felt that Natasha was also there walking beside you.

You and Wanda picked out a simple white dress from her closet to dress her in after she was entirely cleaned up and prepared for the burial. None of you being religious, you knew Nat didn’t feel strongly about any certain type of post-mortem practices so you had made the executive decision to bury her at the top of a small hill nearby where the two of you used to watch the sunsets on quieter days. The only thing you insisted upon was having absolutely no red at the funeral. No one could wear red or was ever allowed to place red flowers at her grave.

“Thank you all for coming,” you welcomed the small group softly. It was just the individuals she had worked with closely in the last few years since you knew that she never would have wanted a big funeral. Fury, Maria, what was left of the original 6, Bucky, Sam, Wanda, and Clint’s family all stood around you each holding onto a single white hydrangea. Bringing your hydrangea up to your chin you closed your eyes and tilted your head down so that your nose barely brushed against its petals and you breathed in its soft, fresh scent before looking back up and beginning.

“I’m not here to give the story of Natasha’s past,” you start with a fair warning. “It wouldn’t be my story to give even if I did know all of it. I think we all know bits and pieces; it was hard for her to talk about but you could always see how those memories glazed over her eyes when she’d go deep into thought. And that’s how she saw the world... and herself... through the lens of her past.”

She had been like a stray dog toughened up through all the abuse and mistreatment it had to have survived. But it left her wary of others and uncertain of who to trust. 

“Her past is her own,” you stated firmly. “What we remember and what’s most important is the fact that even though the world worked against her and shaped her for destruction, she still spent the rest of her life trying to help it... trying to make it a better place even if she’d never get to see it for herself.”

Laura is sniffling hard and Clint wraps his arm around her, pulling her closer to comfort her but also to steady himself as well while his youngest has wrapped himself around his leg.

“But we all helped to show her the beauty in life. Each and every one of use were her family,” that word pierces your throat and your voice breaks momentarily but you pick yourself back up. “Family... and family is forever. The sacrifice she made was for all of us; to unite this family again along with all the other families that were broken apart. And to me that doesn’t make her sound like someone who let her past consume her. Wherever she is now I hope she’s at peace knowing that the monster she thought she was has long been destroyed. And that she killed it when she taught herself how to love... and how to be loved.”

“Nat,” your eyes sting so hard now that even blinking them doesn’t clear your sight, yet your mind is clear on what you want to say. “You gave me the most beautiful life just by being a part of it. By loving as fiercely as you fought, by caring harder than yourself would allow, and by turning that fire they made to be a weapon into your own light and letting me see it... you saved me... in more ways than one, you saved me time after time and you continue to save me every time I feel like I can’t live without losing you. Because the truth is that you gave me everything. You gave the world everything, and I just hope that you know it was only possible because of how much you meant to me and to us. You always said you were nothing except for the red you had in your ledger, but you washed that all out by yourself a long, long time ago.”

You hold up your hydrangea. “Some people say that hydrangeas symbolize creating your own destiny. Other people say that they represent heartfelt emotion, or a giver’s gratefulness for the recipient’s understanding... You never thought you would have any of those things; you said that you didn’t deserve it. Well, you earned it, Natasha. You earned all of it a thousand times over too.” Dropping the flower in your hand into the grave down below you prompts everyone else to follow your motions. The rest of the funeral is like a whirlwind and everyone around you is moving so fast, next they’re shoveling the dirt back into the grave, then suddenly you’re the last one standing there with Clint and Steve. While the whole world moves you’re perpetually stuck between the all the love you feel radiating from Natasha’s spirit and the words you don’t know to appropriately thank her. 

“She knows,” Clint says to you and you look up realizing it’s already gotten dark. Whatever you want to tell her, you know that she knows already. She knows that you won, and that you love her, and that life goes on because the universe is bigger than her. And yet, it wouldn’t be the same without her. It comforts you to think of her knowing all of this wherever she is now because you feel like you’ll owe her for the rest of your life if she didn’t. It makes you think of the first time you saved her.

“I owe you,” she said staring deep into you eyes as gasped from rushing to her aid to stop her from being killed. She had seemed so set in her ways then with her grey moral code that it hurt you just thinking that she didn’t know you would have done that for her no matter what.

“No, you don’t owe me anything, Natasha,” you had spoken her name for the first time which too her by surprise as her wide eyes blinked like a bright light had just suddenly hit her. 

You don’t owe her any more words. You don’t have to vocalize anything else or prove something more to her. But you wait a moment more just to whisper “I love you,” to her one last time.

“He wants to talk to you privately,” Sam says and you raise a brow at the sight of him holding onto the shield. He’s unsure of how to carry it at first which is exactly why it suits him. You have no doubt that he’s the right man for it now.

“That yours now?” you ask.

“It would seem so,” you smile and give him a hug before approaching the old man sitting on the bench and staring off in the distance. Steve had always been an old guy but now that his appearance matched his age you feel as if you’re sitting down next to someone who should actually be your grandfather and smile at that thought. 

“How long have you been working on this surprise?” you joke.

“Not long,” he admits. “About 70 years.” 

“You deserve it,” you say with all the sincerity in your heart and find that his grip still has a lot of strength in it when he squeezes your hand. “And mystery girl? That’s your story to tell or not to tell.”

“There is one thing.”

“Hmm?” 

“There is one thing I know you deserve to know about my timeline,” he turns to you with a certain look on his face and a certain name on his lips that you understand without him speaking it.

You take a deep gulp and squeeze his hand back. “Is she happy? I just want to know if in your timeline that she’s happy.”

He nods slowly like he’s considering a lot of different factors, but it just gives you relief knowing that even in some other universe or time you’ll never get to see that she’s found happiness for herself. “She’s definitely happy, Y/N. And I think a lot of that’s because she’s married to you.”

Tears of joy instead of just sadness and hurt leave your eyes for the first time. You’re just glad that she knows... and that your love for each other really is as deep as you felt.

[tonaathena1996]

Lokane Infinity War Fixit

Author’s Note: So I’ve had this idea churning since I saw Infinity War and certain theories started floating around. This may or may not continue. Or if anyone finds inspiration in this and wants to write on...be my guest.

When Loki awoke, the disorientation he felt was unlike anything he had ever experienced. Nausea knotted his stomach while tension coiled in ever cell of his body.

Had it worked? Had he used the Knowledge given by the Tesseract to transport himself back in time? Had he been able to complete the spell before Thanos had snapped his neck?

His neck. Loki ran his fingers along the bare skin to find it unexpectedly normal. No pain. No swelling. No indication that mere seconds ago he’d been struggling to breathe.

Upon moving his arm, something else unexpected occurred. He felt a soft and warm body beside him. Glancing down, he noted the chestnut colored hair draped over the female’s shoulders, hiding her face from his view.

All things being considered this was exactly how he pictured Hel nor Valhalla. In fact, it all felt maybe a bit too real.

“Where am I?”

When the female beside him raised her head, Loki was more than a little shocked to recognize her, “What have we here?”

Jane Foster smiled before speaking softly, “It’s happened again, hasn’t it?”

“What?”

“You died. Again,” She frowned, “How did Thanos kill you this time?”

“How about we start with something a little more pertinent to this moment?” Loki suggested, “Why are we in bed together?” He asked as he looked over her body appreciatively, “Not that I’m complaining, mind you.”

Jane laughed, “I never get used to how genuinely amazed you are every time this happens. Not to mention that seductive grin you throw my way like it’s the first time you’ve seen me naked.”

“It is,” He assured her as she crawled on top of him. He wasn’t about to argue. If this was Valhalla, he would be more than happy to enjoy it.

Jane frowned slightly as she sat up, “You really haven’t seen me naked, have you?”

“No, but I’m enjoying the view now,” He admitted as he gripped her waist and sat up to close distance between them, “Where am I?”

“Home,” She declared firmly, seizing his cheeks in her hands, “You’re home.”

“This is not...” Loki looked away from her to actually study his surroundings for the first time.

His chambers on Asgard.

Asgard.

“How?” He seized her arms in a painful grip.

Jane winced only slightly at the pain, “It will take some time to explain.”

“Start,” He ordered while he adjusted his grip.

“How did we meet?” She asked him innocently.

“I’m asking the questions.”

“I need to know where to begin this story. Each time this happens, it’s a different version of you that arrives. I have to admit. I’d grown rather attached to the last you. He was here almost four years.”

“You speak nonsense.”

“I’ll explain, but you have to tell me how we met.”

“Thor brought you to Asgard when you were infected by the Aether.”

“Thor...” Sehe repeated as she frowned, “Why would Thor bring me to Asgard?”

“You were lovers.”

Jane broke into laughter, “You mean to tell me there is a version of me in the universe somewhere who fell in love with Thor?” She laughed with a shrug, “I guess that’s better than the universe where you and I never met each other at all.”

“What are you talking about?”

She met his eyes, “Would you mind if we were dressed for this? Though I love you dearly, it’s a little weird telling you our entire history while we’re naked. Since we’re practically strangers. Again.”

Loki slowly dropped his hands from her arms. She did not retreat quickly, merely moved away from him silently. She gathered a blue and silver robe which she put on while Loki magically clothed himself in his blue leathers.

When Jane turned and saw his clothing she gasped. She looked to him with tears in her eyes, “You were on Sakaar?”

“Yes.”

“The Hulk?”

“Banner was there.”

“Thor? Val?”

“Val?”

“The Valkyrie.”

“Yes.”

Jane bit her fingernails thoughtlessly as she seemed to scramble for answers of her own.

“What has you so worried?”

“What happened to Hela?”

“Destroyed with Asgard at the hands of Surtur,” Loki informed the now nervous woman, “Why?”

“Did you two have a talk?”

“No, why would we? She was trying to kill everyone.”

Jane frowned, “Damn.”

“Why?”

“Maybe you should sit down,” She urged as she moved to the sitting area. She sat on his favorite chaise, quite comfortably ensconced in the cushions, “Before you say anything, I know it’s your favorite. It’s mine too, and I’ve been here longer so just save it.” She tucked a throw pillow under her arm as she spoke, “We’re in a construct outside of space time.”

“Excuse me?” Loki asked as he sat on the opposite end of the chaise, “What are you talking about?”

“What was I in your universe? A nurse? A teacher? Warrior?”

“Scientist.”

“You’d think she could have helped you figure this out,” Jane pinched the bridge of her nose for a moment before speaking, “I am a Celestial. Well, I was born half Celestial, half human. Had to sacrifice the human half.”

“How can I not sense...” He asked with skepticism.

“Every time,” She closed her eyes in agitation, “I would tell you that your arrogance about your magical abilities may be your downfall, but Thanos killed you so whatever happened there was your downfall.”

“You are rambling.”

Jane held out her hand, palm upward as white light burst into a small vision of the cosmos.

“You hide your power well,” Loki smiled, “I’m impressed.”

“Thanks. Kinda been at this a while.”

“How long?” He asked, his distrust evident.

“We’ve been here over a millennia,” Jane spoke calmly but matter of factly. She thought for a moment, “Almost two now actually.”

Loki studied her, looking for any indication of a lie or trickery. There were none.

“Explain.”

“We met on Asgard. Odin had pissed me off in a very bad way,” She sighed, “And I was looking for some pay back. I decided I would take his favorite son from him, and I did. Only, you weren’t even his son.”

“Favorite son?” Loki stopped her before he stood and walked to the balcony doors. Asgard looked as it always had. Glorious. The Realm Eternal. Odin.

Favorite son?

“I take it Thor was more favored in your universe,” Jane sighed heavily, “I was afraid that would eventually happen.”

“This is a ruse. I don’t know what you are up to, but I just had the most unpleasant experience of watching my brother nearly killed before being choked almost to death right before the Titan broke my neck,” He turned to face her again, “So I will not listen to a multitude of rubbish. Speak the truth or leave me be.”

Her eyes widened as she slowly stood from her seat. Her smile growing in intensity every second, “What is this? The God of Lies suddenly clamoring for the truth?”

Loki met her questioning and laughing eyes as she closed in on him, “Do not mock me, Jane Foster. I am not in the mood.”

“Also a first,” She stopped as she covered her mouth, muffling her laughter, “I have to know. What happened in your universe to change you so much?”

“You know nothing of me in any universe,” He declared as he took a step back. Distance in this situation was probably for the best.

“You are so very wrong. You are my ally. You are my companion. Friend. Lover,” She stepped towards him and extended her hand to him, “My husband. Father of my children.”

“I do believe you’ve lost your mind,” Loki snorted as he disregarded her hand with a backwards swipe of his. He turned away from her and decided leaving her here to whatever lunacy had befallen her would be perfectly warranted, “I’m not going to listen to any more of your obviously deranged ramblings.”

“I know your true parentage. I know your father is Laufey. I also know your mother is Hela.”

Loki stopped in his tracks. He slowly turned to face her to read her eyes once more.

Jane shrugged, “That never changes. It’s been the only constant in every universe you’ve returned from.”

“I never knew who my mother was,” He spoke flippantly.

“But you wanted to. Just out of curiosity, just how big an asshole was Odin in your universe?”

Loki blinked. Her attitude towards Odin was particularly interesting.

“Pretty big.”

“Figures. I’ve yet to hear of a universe where that prick ever changes,” Jane sighed heavily in exasperation, “Look, I know this sounds ludicrous to you. Let me explain the entire story before you walk away.”

“I am not particularly patient.”

“I know,” She crossed her arms, “Short version is...you and I are trying to save the universe and it’s taking forever.”

“I’m a tad more patient than that.”

“You and I know the key to stopping Thanos is Hela. We just never seem to be able to get to her in time.”

“I did not even know Hela existed. Not until Odin died.”

“Wait. Did you say Odin died?”

“Yes.”

“How did you meet Hela?”

“She emerged from a dimension where Odin had imprisoned her.”

“That son of a bitch!” Jane screeched as she pushed open the bedroom doors with a shove and made her way into the large living area.

Loki followed her at a distance, watching as she approached his breakfast table. She poured herself a glass of water.

“Why don’t we start with how I arrived here instead of Valhalla or Hel...whichever would accept me,” Loki frowned, disappointed he still didn’t know if he’d earned his worthiness or not.

Jane drank the tall glass of water with a gulp. She placed the glass upon the table before she spoke again.

“Thanos succeeded. He assembled the Gauntlet and just before the snap, I brought us here to a construct outside of space time in hopes we could intervene and stop him. You and I, together, made all the copies of you we could manage and sent them through time to assume the identities of the Lokis in those timelines. Problem is, we didn’t account for the Norns in all of our planning. The Norns haven’t much liked us playing in their works. So in each timeline, your double was assimilated at some point into the timeline. From what I’ve been able to figure out...You arrive knowing your mission but your double merges with the Loki from that timeline and you lose that knowledge.”

“I doomed myself to this madness?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“You don’t want to know,” Jane shook her head as she sat on a plush sofa.

“Will I recovery the memories of this life you say I’ve led?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“Sometimes, it only takes moments. Sometimes, it can take weeks or months.”

“I want to remember because there is no way I would consider this madness an option.”

“It was your idea.”

“Tell me why!”

“Our children.”

“What?”

“We tried sending just you...no doubles. It only took twice seeing our children disintegrate into dust with the snap before you said we had to do more. Move faster. It was the only way.”

“Children,” Loki repeated the word as if it were insane, “Just how many do we have?”

“Ten. Six humanoid. Four planets.”

“Planets?”

“Teenagers. They wanted space and creating their own planet gave them the chance to express themselves.”

“Right,” Loki eyed her with suspiscion.

“Come see for yourself. You can see my memories. Sometimes it triggers yours. Sometimes not. It’s worth a shot,” Jane offered her hand, “Please.”

[bikerfaggot]

a snippet from a summer fling lifeguard and ex-paramedic au that i will never finish

Thor looked down at Bruce’s hand, gently pulling him parallel to the shore. Their feet splashed through the shallow water as the pair slowly walked; he smiled and gave Bruce’s hand a squeeze. His almost-kind-of-boyfriend turned around and smiled back, stopping to give his full attention to Thor.

“You know,” Thor said, his voice low in the warm, quiet air, “when I’ve described myself as someone who enjoys long walks on the beach, I’ve never had something quite like this in mind.”

Bruce shook his head as he laughed, pulling Thor’s hand to his lips to kiss along the knuckles. “This is the definition of a long walk on the beach, darling.”

“Am I your darling, now?” Bruce’s eyes shot back to Thor’s as the taller man spoke, but his expression relaxed once he saw the carefree, joyous look on Thor’s face. He let go of Thor’s hand to shove him gently, scoffing.

“Don’t say it like that, you scared me,” he said, moving his hand that he had planted against Thor’s shoulder up to cradle the side of his face. “Made me think you didn’t want me to call you that.”

Thor grinned, his teeth glinting briefly in the dim light. He looked gorgeous like this—well, like anything, really, but especially here, his muscular body coated in slowly-drying saltwater, his hair covered with sand—and Bruce wanted nothing more than to kiss him senseless, kiss him until the world fell out from under them. The fiery feeling in Bruce’s chest only grew as Thor turned his head to kiss the palm of Bruce’s hand, his cheeky grin never leaving his face. “You could call me anything you damn well please,” he said, and even though it sounded like a joke, Bruce could hear the devotion in Thor’s voice. This man was all-or-nothing, something that the lifeguard really respected, even though it sent a shiver down his spine to think of being so genuinely loved for probably the first time in his life.

“I like ‘darling,’” Bruce admitted with a shrug, moving his fingers to comb through Thor’s cropped hair.

“I believe that means it’s time to legally change my name.” One side of his mouth was quirked into an even snarkier grin, though the playful bite held no weight, as his head was still leaned into Bruce’s hand. He turned to give yet another kiss to Bruce’s palm, blinking tiredly. “What time is it, actually?” Bruce used his free hand to pull his phone from the trunks’ pocket, telling Thor that it was just after two in the morning. He earned a slightly groggy nod and a clipped yawn. “Man, I’m getting old; I can’t stay up anymore.”

“I’m older than you,” Bruce said after a moment, recalling that he was, in fact, a good ten years older than Thor. He put his phone back in his pocket and moved his hand to Thor’s side, rubbing his thumb against one of the many burn scars that littered Thor’s skin. Thor closed his eyes for a moment and smiled serenely, lifting one of his own hands to pull Bruce closer to him. Neither of them really knew how it happened, but they were somehow on the sand a few moments later, sitting next to each other with their feet in the water. Thor guessed that he had probably tugged Bruce down in an attempt to lay with him.

He was content with just sitting there silently, leaning against Bruce, but the shorter man shifted after only a few moments so that his hand was grasping Thor’s, and he was close to Thor’s face. Really close. “May I kiss you?” Bruce asked. At first, it felt like it was out of nowhere, like he might as well have been asking a stranger to kiss him. But then his logic started to catch up to his impulse and it started to click together, like a puzzle he had finally figured out the pattern of. After years and years of being on edge at any given moment, being prepared to rush in to save people from car wrecks, national disasters, and much more mundane—but still goddamn terrifying—things, he had subconsciously drawn himself back into a bubble. Life had always been too dangerous for Thor to allow himself to feel things as strongly as he was now. But now? He was laying in the sand, for God’s sake. This was the calmest he’d been in his life. So, yeah. It made plenty of sense. He may even say that he was falling in love.

This entire thought process ran through Thor’s head in the two and a half seconds that it took him to give a shaky nod.

And that was that. Bruce grinned and leaned in, and his lips were a welcome pressure against Thor’s own. Jesus, it was nice. He felt Bruce’s hands pulling him closer, impossibly so, and Thor smiled into the kiss as he moved to straddle the lifeguard. He slung one arm over Bruce’s shoulder and held the other against the back of his head, tangling his fingers into Bruce’s hair. Bruce’s arms were held firmly around Thor’s waist, continuing their nonviable task of pulling Thor closer. Thor’s feet dug into the sand and his breathing picked up as the kiss got more intense, and he felt every inch of his body burning, crying out for more, more, more. “Bruce,” he whispered as they took a breath. Bruce opened his eyes, and Thor studied him in the moonlight. He had to lean back to do so, but the loss of contact was worth it; Bruce was even more gorgeous when he was all flushed and sitting right underneath Thor. The scattered light from the moon and stars cast soft shadows across his face and glinted in his inky black hair.

“What?” The word brought Thor’s attention back to Bruce’s lips, slightly parted and absolutely gorgeous.

The ex-paramedic smiled gently. “I’ve never met someone more beautiful than you.” To punctuate the statement, he leaned back in, aiming for Bruce’s jawline. Bruce never responded, but he didn’t need to. The way he gasped as Thor lined kisses down his throat was answer enough.

[imagine-loki]

Triple Threat, Chapter 5

TITLE: Triple Threat CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 5 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki kidnaps Darcy Lewis, in hopes of getting the tesseract in return for her. Imagine his surprise when he grows rather fond of the mortal, finding that she understands him better than anyone else ever has.  RATING: M

After calming the tension down between the two Loki’s, the team abandoned the takeaway food. Apart from Darcy, who grabbed her chow mein tub and took it with her as they all headed up to Fury’s main office.

She sat there at the large table, using chopsticks to eat while everyone conversed. Loki stood right behind her, hands on her shoulders possessively as he glared at the other Loki across the table.

Loki was sitting down, quite comfortable in his surroundings.

‘Start explaining. You have exactly two minutes to tell us why we shouldn’t lock you in a cell and throw away the key.’ Fury said firmly, glaring at him from the top end of the table.

Loki smirked. ‘You need me. That’s the first reason. Secondly, you haven’t locked this one up.’ He motioned across to Loki. ‘Which in my eyes, is a good thing and means you can trust him. Hence, you can trust me. We are one and the same.’

‘We are not the same.’ Loki snarled.

‘You both sure look the same.’ Tony commented, earning a glare from Loki.

‘Nah… I see it now, the hair is slightly different. Intruder Loki is slightly longer and greasier. Plus, the features are ever so slightly off. Not as handsome.’ Darcy said, pointing her chopsticks across the table at Loki.

Loki smirked and gave Darcy’s shoulders a squeeze.

‘You didn’t seem to be thinking that last week at the cinema, when you were kissing me with such enthusiasm.’ Loki grinned wickedly.

Darcy’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open. Loki looked just as shocked and appalled.

‘WHAT?’ Both Darcy and Loki roared at the same time.

‘That was YOU?’ Darcy screeched.

‘How DARE you!’ Loki was about to storm over, but Thor grabbed his shoulder.

‘Calm down, brother. Let’s hear him out first. Then you can sort out other issues afterwards.’ Thor said calmly.

Loki’s nostrils flared as he clenched his jaw and moved back behind Darcy. His grip on her shoulders even tighter than before. Darcy tried to ignore the horrible feeling within her stomach. So she covered it by continuing to eat.

‘But it’s still Loki. Just from another reality. And he still has to tell us what the hell is going on!’ Clint said as he took a seat.

Loki sighed and leaned back in his chair.

‘In the reality where I come from, Thanos got hold of all the infinity stones. He wiped out half the population of every realm, every single race. We managed to defeat him, eventually. With a lot of time hopping to get the stones from the past and a lot of sacrifices.’

‘Who’s we?’ Fury asked.

Loki looked at everyone and motioned his hand to them all. ‘Everyone. I was on a ship with Thor and The Asgardians that remained after Ragnarok, heading here to Midgard when Thanos’

‘Wait, Ragnarok?’ Thor interrupted.

‘Oh, that hasn’t happened?’ Loki looked at Thor.

‘No! And it would NOT happen under my watch.’ Thor growled.

Loki chuckled. ‘Well, that’s a story for another day. Let’s just say, we had some more adventures together, brother. Then working together, we saved the Asgardians from Ragnarok, but not Asgard, unfortunately. Although New Asgard is prospering. Now, as I was saying… Thanos attacked the ship we were on. I managed to get to Midgard with Bruce, and we got help from Doctor Strange and yourself.’ He pointed at Tony.

‘Wait, I was with you on the ship?’ Bruce asked.

‘Are you all going to continuously interrupt me or can I carry on?’ Loki snarled.

‘Keep going.’ Natasha nodded.

‘Long story short, we were able to beat Thanos. Undo everything he did. But on returning the stones, Steve lost one while traveling through time. The reality stone, or maybe better known to you all as the Aether. We have tracked it down to this reality, but it’s whereabouts is unknown… What I do know, is that your girlfriend Jane Foster likely has it in her possession.’

Everyone paused and looked really confused. Thor especially.

‘She is not my girlfriend anymore.’ He said regretfully.

‘She dumped you in this reality too?’ Loki raised an eyebrow with a very slight smirk.

‘No… I was the one who ended it.’ Thor said sheepishly.

‘Ah. So perhaps you are smarter than in my reality.’ He chuckled.

‘Hardly.’ Loki scoffed.

‘Wait, why do you think Jane has it?’ Darcy interrupted.

‘She stumbled across it in my reality, Thor had to get my help to get it out of her. We drew the dark elves to her, to get it out of her. So, I’d say it’s an educated guess that she would stumble across it in this reality, too. And I suspected she would be here, with Thor. Or at least with Darcy. I must say, I am rather surprised to find you dating me. I can’t wait to hear how that happened.’ He grinned.

‘We’re not dating.’ Darcy said flatly.

‘It certainly doesn’t look that way.’ Loki narrowed his eyes at the two.

‘It’s complicated.’ Loki grumbled.

‘Sure it is.’ Loki chuckled. ‘So, do you have any idea where Jane is?’

The team looked at one another, shrugging.

‘She left… I haven’t even heard from her, not a single text.’ Darcy shrugged and finished off her chow mein.

Loki frowned. ‘When did she leave?’

‘Hmm, I dunno. Must be, what, six months ago?’ Darcy glanced at Natasha, who nodded.

‘Yeah, about that.’ She agreed.

Loki stroked his chin in thought. ‘Why did you dump her?’ He asked Thor.

‘She… She was acting, strange. She had become rather…’

‘Stuck up.’ Darcy finished for him. ‘She turned into a horrible bitch, from just before Loki came along, actually.’

‘Mmm, that is true.’ Thor nodded in agreement.

‘So, her behaviour changed?’ Loki asked. ‘How long ago?’

‘That must be well over a year and a half ago now?’ Darcy asked the others. She couldn’t believe it had actually been that long since Loki first kidnapped her… How things had changed since then.

‘That would fit… I was aiming to get back further in time, to roughly a year and a half ago, but Tony and Bruce in my reality didn’t send me far enough back. So I need to make do with you all in the here and now. But I believe she found it back then, which would explain her change in character. It can influence people, for good or bad. It takes the tiniest of feelings and it can manifest those feelings into something much bigger, and sometimes deadlier. I am surprised she’s been able to contain the power within her for this long… You really have no idea where she has gone?’

‘Nope.’ Darcy shook her head.

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Ok.’ He sighed. ‘I know where I can get a trinket to help locate the aether. But it’s not on Midgard.’

‘Where is it?’ Wanda asked.

‘Knowhere.’

‘It must be somewhere. You just said you know where it is.’ Tony said, confused.

‘No, it’s on Knowhere. It’s a realm.’ Loki growled at Tony, shaking his head.

‘I see you have to deal with idiot Midgardians too.’ Loki smirked.

But Loki ignored him.

‘Wait, are we sure we can even believe this guy? I mean, it IS Loki. No offence, Loki. But we know YOU. But not this guy.’ Steve said as he motioned to the intruder Loki.

‘Steve is right. How do we know you aren’t trying to get the stones for yourself?’ Fury asked.

Loki rolled his eyes. ‘If you want Thanos to wipe half of you all out, then fine. Be my guest to do nothing and lock me away. Or you could send Thor to speak to Heimdall, see if he can locate Jane. Prove me wrong. But I am betting she is either not on Midgard, or is shielded from his view.’

The team looked at one another uncertainly. But they had no other options at this time.

‘Thor, go check with Heimdall.’ Fury said firmly.

Thor nodded and headed out with Mjolnir.

‘WE need to talk.’ Loki leaned down and growled in Darcy’s ear. She gulped and got up, heading out with him. Who had a firm grip of her elbow.

‘And you need to stay here.’ Fury pointed at Loki. ‘It’s bad enough having one trickster here, we don’t need two running around. Vision, Wanda, keep an eye on him until we can make some sense of this mess.’ Fury stormed out of the room.

The rest of the team went off too, leaving Loki under Wanda and Vision’s supervision in the meantime.

-

‘You KISSED him?’ Loki hissed at Darcy when they got back to his room.

‘I thought it was you!’ She screeched up at him.

Loki started pacing back and fore. ‘You just said you can tell the difference. How did you not know it wasn’t me?’ He looked hurt.

‘I’m sorry, Loki. I had no idea there was two of you. He surprised me, why wouldn’t I think it wasn’t you? Please, don’t let this come between us. I didn’t mean it, I really didn’t. But he’s still you, just… a different reality. Slightly older, I assume.’

Loki went to the window and looked out, hands on his hips.

‘Loki, don’t ignore me. Come on, I’m as shocked as you that there’s another you. But I bet you’d do the same if you had to jump to another reality and found you were hooking up with some hot chick. You enjoy mischief just as much as he does and playing tricks.’ Darcy walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him from behind, hugging into his back.

‘I wouldn’t because you know youhave my heart.’ He grumbled.

‘I know. But if I didn’t, if we weren’t… whatever we are. You would’ve done exactly the same. I know you, Loki. And would you know the difference if another Darcy from a different reality suddenly started kissing you?’

‘I… Well, of course.’ Loki stammered out sheepishly.

‘No, you wouldn’t. Not at first anyway. Please, Loki. Give me a break here. I don’t love him, I love YOU. Not him. I promise. And I’m sorry.’

She knew Loki gave in and forgave her as soon as he placed his hands over hers at his stomach. He sighed and turned around, to wrap his arms around her in return and he rested his chin on top of her head.

‘I’m sorry, love. I just… I don’t like the fact there’s another me.’

‘I don’t either, believe me. It’s me that now has to deal with TWO Gods of mischief!’ Darcy groaned.

Loki chuckled and kissed the top of her head. ‘Hopefully he won’t be here for too long, as soon as we find Jane, we can send him on his way back to his own reality with the aether.’

-

The team all gathered again an hour later once Thor returned from Asgard.

‘Well, does Heimdall know where she is?’ Darcy asked.

Thor sighed and looked down. ‘No… He has not seen her since she left here six months ago.’

‘Well, shit.’ Darcy groaned, throwing her head back.

‘In that case, I will need a ship and a team to come with me to Knowhere.’ Loki said as he looked around the team expectantly.

[fanficshiddles]

I’m still breathing, Chapter 46

Sophie flew through the air in a high kick towards Loki, reaching his chest this time. He let out a grunt as she knocked him down to the ground.

He groaned while Sophie stumbled on her feet, she walked back over to him and grabbed his hand to help him up.

‘Maybe you should start using Thor as a practice dummy. You’re getting stronger.’ He chuckled, getting up.

‘But it’s more fun to practice on you.’ She grinned.

Loki gave her a mischievous smirk.

‘Oi, you two! Come on, it’s dinner time.’ Steve shouted from the door of the training hall.

Sophie took Loki’s arm and the two went over towards him.

‘You’ve been training an awful lot lately.’ Steve commented.

‘Yep. We’re making sure we are prepared.’ Sophie said slightly cold.

‘For what?’

‘Doesn’t matter to you. Since you lot don’t believe Loki.’ She shrugged, feeling Loki tighten his grip slightly on her as a silent thank you.

Steve ran his hand down his face. ‘It’s not that we don’t believe you, Loki. We just… Have no proof. You’ve been under a lot of stress lately.’

Loki growled low. ‘Come on, darling. I’d rather go out tonight.’ He re-directed Sophie and they went the other way, away from Steve.

They ended up getting Natasha, Clint and Wanda too. The five of them went out for dinner to a local pub that Clint recommended. Loki wasn’t entirely sure about it to start with, wanting to treat Sophie to something more upper class. But Sophie persuaded him to give it a try without being too much of a grump.

He ended up rather enjoying it, as did they all.

They had proper pub grub and plenty of beer to go along with it. Clint and Loki ended up discussing the difference between Asgardian beer and Midgardian beer.

Sophie, Wanda and Natasha rolled their eyes at the two.

‘I think I need something stronger.’ Natasha got up and motioned for the other two to go with her.

They went up to the bar and ordered a bunch of shots, along with some vodka mixers. The three all downed their shots as quickly as they could, pulling faces at the strength of some of them. They ended up staying at the bar for a while, chatting to the woman behind the bar for a while and earning more free shots.

Three guys walked into the bar and spotted the three women having a good time at the bar, so they approached them and instantly tried flirting. Loki was over there in a flash, even though it seemed previously that he wasn’t watching Sophie.

Loki walked straight up behind Sophie, she knew he was there because of the look on one of the guys faces, looking over the top of her head. Then large hands on her shoulders, was a confirmation.

‘Are these guys bothering you, darling?’ He said through gritted teeth, glaring daggers at the men.

The men put their hands up and backed off, especially when Clint joined Loki.

‘Ah, our knights in shining armour saving us from the creepy guys!’ Wanda laughed, grabbing her drink from the bar.

‘Come on, back to the table.’ Clint put his hands to Natasha and Wanda’s back and guided them back over to sit down.

Sophie turned around to look up at Loki. ‘Well, I’ve never seen someone look so terrified before.’ She giggled.

‘So they should be.’ He growled, circling his arms around her waist and pulling her in close to him. ‘You’re mine!’ He leaned down and kissed her firmly on the lips.

‘Mmm. I rather like it when you’re jealous.’ She grinned over his lips.

Loki chuckled. ‘Not jealous, love. Protective, perhaps.’

‘Possessive more like.’ Sophie corrected him.

‘Maybe.’ Loki shrugged.

He ordered more drinks then returned to the table with Sophie.

‘No more wandering off, girls.’ Clint said, sitting back with his pint.

‘Well you two were yapping on about the best beer. I mean, come on!’ Natasha folded her arms over her chest.

‘Yeah, because you three were yapping on about that Hugh bloody Jackman fellow!’

Loki nodded in agreement with Clint while the girls just laughed.

When the five returned to base in the early hours of the morning, all pretty drunk after having drank most of the pub dry, they were surprised to find when they stumbled inside that everyone else was still awake.

‘Eyyyyyy. What’re you all doing up?’ Clint asked, moving to lean against the wall but missing and stumbling over.

‘Jesus. Are you lot pissed?’ Tony stood up, clearly annoyed.

‘Soo wht we are?’ Sophie slurred, arms over her chest as she glared at him.

‘You all know we have a mission first thing!’ Said Steve.

‘Why are you all not in bed then?’ Loki snarled, his arm was around Sophie to keep her steady because she was always very unsteady on her feet when drunk.

‘Because we’ve been waiting for you guys to get back! This has got to stop, guys.’ Bruce went over to Natasha and took her arm, dragging her to the sofa to sit down because she had tried to wander towards the bar to get more drink.

‘What has? We just went for food and drinks!’ Wanda said in defence, though she did go over to join Vision by the window.

‘You know full well what has.’ Steve glared at them all in turn. ‘The last month or so you’ve all been distancing yourselves from us. Training harder every day, having secret meetings. We’re supposed to be a team.’

‘Supposed to be a team? Are you having a laugh?’ Loki shouted, stepping closer towards Tony and Steve. ‘YOU, are the ones who don’t believe me. YOU are the ones who aren’t supporting me. YOU are the ones putting the rest of us at risk because you can’t put your damn pride down for once to realise that the monster of the group might be right for a change!’ Loki was raging now, his nose scrunched up in anger.

Tony and Steve moved towards him. Clint then backed up Loki, at his side. The rest of the Avengers watched on, unsure on what to do.

‘No, YOU are the one putting the team at risk because of your stupid hallucinations and fears!’ Tony yelled.

Loki’s dagger materialised in his hand and he moved closer.

‘Woah. Calm down everyone!’ Peter moved between them and put his hands out towards Loki and Tony mainly. ‘It’s great, really great that you’ve been training harder. Truly. But we just think you’re pushing yourselves too hard, we don’t want you to exhaust yourselves.’ He said to Loki.

Loki raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Keep out of this, kid. Unless you want your ass kicked as well.’ He snarled.

Sophie shook her head and grabbed Loki’s arm. ‘Come on, Loki.’ She hiccupped. ‘They’re not worth it. Let’s go.’ She tugged on his arm and he reluctantly backed down, his dagger disappearing again. She was able to lead him away from the heated situation and out of the room.

Wanda looked at Vision and shrugged. ‘I’m sorry. But I am on their side, if we are taking sides. I believe Loki, there was someone there in the footage.’ She gave his arm a squeeze and he nodded sadly. But he wasn’t really wanting to take sides as such.

Clint looked at everyone and shook his head before backing away. ‘You all need to take a look at yourselves and actually trust Loki, who is supposed to be a valuable part of this team. Just like everyone else.’ He then zoned in on Tony and Steve. ‘You two act all high and mighty, like you’re the leaders. But you’re not. You’re just as equal as the rest of us.’ He then walked out before waiting for a response.

The team all turned their heads towards Natasha, expecting her to say her piece and storm out too. But all they received was a loud snore, her head had fell backwards on the sofa and she was drooling.

[slamncram]

Infinity War left me hurting. Spoilers in the text. 

We Do Not Choose our Deaths

Of all the mistakes Loki has made, he knows that this one is the most grievous, but there is nothing he can do to right it, now.

He can try, certainly, but he has, and look where that’s gotten him. In the grasp of the Mad Titan, with the breath leaving his body, the fight going out of him, even while he spits his last insult at that smirking face. A face he’d hoped he’d never have to see again.

He can’t save Thor. He’s tried, but it’s down to Thor, alone, now. There are no more Asgardians, no Hulk, no Heimdall. There was only Loki, and from the moment that ship’s shadow overtook them, he knew that this was a possibility. That his end wasn’t so far away, after all, even after everything they had just been through.

If he can die to give Thor a chance, he will.

So, he does.

Loki has thought about death. Quite a lot, really, and some may say that was because he spent so much time pretending he was gripped by it. Falling through that wormhole and becoming enslaved to Thanos had been the first. Pretending to fall on Svartalfheim had been the second, and the longest lasting. The one that had left him hiding in a skin that wasn’t his own, with no one he could talk to, or confide in, when he took to thinking about the things he’d done, the choices he’d made, and the deaths he had imposed on more than just himself.

He’d spent many long nights out of his glamour, alone, behind closed and locked doors, where no one could disturb him. He had thought quite a lot about death, and what it meant for someone like him, and how he wasn’t sure he was ready for something like that.

But destiny didn’t wait for you to be ready, and Loki had known that, even if he hadn’t wanted to accept it, up until the moment he’d felt the dagger in his hand, and known this could be his last act.

One of the things he’d wondered was what would happen to him after death. He was no true Asgardian, he hadn’t really earned his place in the halls of Valhalla.

That was, until Thor had come back, their world had been destroyed, and he’d been set back, firmly, at his brother’s side. Loki had idly wondered, out loud, laying next to Thor in the quiet, nights before, if he had changed his fate enough. Tipped the scales in his favour, so that if and when death came for him, as it had come for their father, he might join them in Valhalla.

Thor’s hand had been warm on his side as he’d turned toward him, and murmured that he thought Loki was well on the way to at least being made to sit outside the hall while everyone else celebrated. They’d laughed, and rolled, and made love, and as he’d fallen asleep, Loki had wondered if Thor was right. If he truly believed that.

He wished he could tell him that he had been.

The pain in his chest, the tightness around his neck, had given way to something else. Something bright and warm, and not unlike the late afternoon sun in Asgard that he and Thor had laid under countless times before the failed coronation.

The sun will shine on us again.

Even without opening his eyes, though, Loki knows there isn’t an us. It’s him, alone. Thor was left behind, on that ship, dead in space, no one but corpses of all those he’d tried so hard to save to be there with him as...

What?

Loki doesn’t know, and it’s that uncertainty that forces his eyes open, and has him sitting up.

He isn’t dressed in the clothes he’d died in. That’s a small blessing. The fabric he’s dressed in is soft, light, a length of green the same shade as the cape he’d died in wrapped around his shoulders and falling well past his hips, an end of it trailing on the ground by his boots, until he stands and it brushes the backs of his legs. It’s like the attire he used to wear to feasts, and that isn’t a surprise. Not knowing where he is.

The room is golden, like Asgard, and he supposes that shouldn’t be a surprise either. The bed he’d been laid on was soft, but, beyond this room, this alcove, he can hear voices. He can hear music, and it sounds like Asgard in happier times. Before his mistakes had begun.

He is dead.

He is in Valhalla.

“It took you a while, but you figured it out.”

The voice, when he hears it, sounds like it’s rising from a dream. That was the voice that shushed their nightmares, encouraged his determination, countered the arguments he put up to protect himself from facing who he was, and who he could be.

It’s a voice Loki hasn’t heard in far too long, and when he turns and sees her there, he’s surprised to feel the way his chest aches.

Her golden hair is styled the same way she used to wear it, and the gown she’s wearing is just as resplendent as any of the ones she’d worn on Asgard. She’s smiling, and Loki can see the tears in her eyes as she opens her arms.

Frigga. His mother.

Loki doesn’t need to think about it. He doesn’t need to speak, or question it. He simply lets his body, whole and unhurt, do what it wants, and moves towards her, nearly falling into that embrace, so much the child he’d once been, with his fingers curling in her gown, and his face in her shoulder.

“I did it.”

“Yes, you did.” She soothes, but her voice is too calm, too proud for her to truly understand what he’d meant.

“Mother, no. After everything Thor did, everything I helped him do, I did it. I brought damnation on our people, and--”

“--And you died the God that Thor believed you could be. That I knew you were.” Her voice still holds that calm note, but there’s an edge there, the one she’d used when she didn’t want them arguing with her. She pulls back, and Loki reluctantly lets her go, refusing to meet her eyes, only to have those cool hands cup his face, and turn his gaze to her. “You did the right thing, Loki. By the Norns, it took you... quite a long time, but you did it. You and Thor found your way back to each other, and you did what you could to protect that, and protect what remained of our people.”

Loki feels the weight of what comes after.

“I made mistakes that led to what could be...” He takes a breath. “The end of half the universe.”

Frigga smile is gentle as she takes him by the arm, leading him down a hall. Loki doesn’t resist, but, how could he? This is Valhalla. She is his mother. There is no fight here.

“Do you think your father never made mistakes? That I didn’t? That Thor hasn’t, and may not yet? You did what you could to try to right it, Loki.” When she looks at him now, despite the golden, calm, safe air of this place, Loki can feel the concern rolling off her. The anxiety, and the worry for what comes next.

“What now?”

“Now, we watch over your brother, and pray he doesn’t join us too soon.” Frigga smiles. Implicit in her words in a reality that Loki knows even Thor cannot outrun forever. “The sun will shine on you both again, my son, you were not wrong about that.”

[ms-znodgrass]

The Past Repeats Itself

Captain America x reader. 

In which Cap manages to repeat past mistakes with new flames. Part 2 is expected soon. Feel free to give it a share if you like it - thank you!

---

There was a cold breeze ghosting across your bare arms, forcing fine hairs to stand upright to attention. The air weaved through your curled hair, lifting it up off of your shoulders which were covered with a fine fabric. Your long dress added protection around your legs, the green silk falling from your hips to the marble floor below you. Yes, it was cold, but after the day you’d had, you couldn’t feel it. Instead you felt numb.

An entire town in the south of France had been invaded by the Klene, an uprising terrorist group which preyed on the poor. Their aim was to wipe out the Earths impurities, and that meant every man, woman and child who could not afford a decent lifestyle. They were a large threat, larger than you all first anticipated. The Avengers had met their match, this mission was not one that could be beaten in a day. This mission would consume time that you could not spare.

You had managed to remove the Klene soldiers from the town, but left behind a large trail of destruction. Houses were ruined, people had still died, and the once beautiful scenery had been destroyed. Though some families had fallen to their knees, muttering words of gratitude, others had fallen to their knees, screaming in pain as they’d witnessed a loved one murdered before their eyes.

You took another sip of the champagne in your hand, followed by another, before swallowing the entire contents of the glass. The door behind you opened, the sound of the creaking hinges disrupting the pure silence surrounding you. A figure appeared at your side, and you didn’t have to turn your head to see who it was. The familiar scent of whiskey and cinnamon wafted towards you in soft amounts, creating a warm pool in your chest.

“I can’t believe you enjoy the taste of that.”

“I have a mature taste,” Steve said, his low voice still holding power and authority, yet his tone softer. You chuckled, looking across to him. His blue eyes were still bright even in the darkness. His small mouth curled upwards slightly, perfect white teeth peeking through. His smile was contagious, almost as if he exerted an aura of happiness. A stray piece of hair fell onto his forehead, the blonde strand reflecting the moonlight. You brought your hand up to the fine golden hair and moved it backwards, weaving your fingers through the quiff which sat (now) perfectly on his head. His mouth was pressed firmly in a straight line, his eyes showing an undetectable emotion. The khaki shirt he wore was buttoned down a little, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Your eyes found his chest, unwilling to stare back at the blue orbs.

Steve coughed. “Are you alright? After today?”

You smiled slightly, turning back towards the city. “As alright as I can be. How about you?”

He hesitated. “It’s not a great situation. But I know we can get past it. Right now we need to keep as many people safe, as possible. We cannot allow a repeat of today. Not again,” he sighed, swirling around the whiskey in the glass, the ice hitting the sides with quiet ‘clinks’. He then looked back at you, his glare causing your cheeks to warm up and turn a pale pink colour.

“I think you did amazingly you know? Without your orders… Natasha wouldn’t be with us right now,” you murmured. Your eyes found his again.

“Anyone would’ve done the same,” he mumbled.

“No,” you said, turning to face him. He brought his hands up to your shoulders, moving your hair off of your neck, and taking the ends of the shawl which was draped around you. He wrapped the fabric tighter around your body, in a small attempt to warm you up. “You’re the only Captain I know who would sacrifice his own safety”.

“You don’t know many Captains,” he smiled.

“I don’t need to, I know you,” you grinned back. His hands were still on your arms, his breath now visible in grey clouds. You felt those clouds hit your face, his nose etching closer and closer.

“Guys! The fire dancers are here!” Tony yelled, emerging from indoors. You both stepped back, looking out towards the neon lights once more. “Oh, did I interrupt?”

You turned towards the door, walking towards him. “Where are the fire dancers?” You said as you reached his side. Tony grinned, looking at your flushed cheeks and tangled hair, his squinted.

“Near the bar.” And with that information, you found your legs carrying you towards the bar and no further. You ordered another wine, touching your hot cheeks with your cool hands in a poor attempt to restore their natural colour. Doctor Banner appeared beside you.

“Ms Y/L/N,” he said, alerting you of his presence. His curly black hair showed signs of grey, yet it suited him. You saw the reflection of the bartender returning with your large glass of wine in the reflection of his thick glasses.

“Hello,” you smiled, “can I get you a drink?”

“I’m alright actually,” he paused momentarily, “I’ll need to check on Natasha shortly. Can’t risk the green,” he mumbled. Your smile grew wider.

“Oh really?” you teased, “how is she?”

“She’s fine, just recovering from the cell manipulation. She wants to come down later, but I’ve advised against it,” he told you, turning his body towards you. You took a sip of the yellow-ish sparkling wine in your hand.

“It’s nice to know you’re looking after her.”

“I didn’t lead the procedure-“

“I’m not talking about that,” you paused, “it’s refreshing to see her happy, and I mean genuinely happy.” I noticed the corners of his mouth curling upwards, and though he tried to supress it, he couldn’t. Bruce always had time for you, and was more open to discussing private matters with you, something that built up over years of friendship.

A loud applause was heard behind you; the fire dancers were beginning their routine. “And you?” He asked, clasping his large hands together in front of him, elbow acting as a support on the bar.

“Me?”

“Is someone looking after you? I don’t intend to pry, but I’ve noticed a few… interactions between you and the Captain,” he started. You caught sight of Steve over Bruce’s left shoulder, he was mid-conversation with some elderly gentlemen. They came to every one of Starks parties, and he was always in a deep conversation with one of them – whether it be about the war or the increase in reliability of modern day hero’s on technology which ‘was a real shame’. They spoke fondly of the old days.

Your heart beat quickened, and your palms began to sweat.

“I think I’ve got a guardian somewhere,” you chuckled, your mood being lifted at the sight of Steve. Funny that. Your mood always changed around him, a smile fixing itself on your face whenever he was near, your laugh getting a little louder, and your voice getting a little higher.

“He once told me that I shouldn’t wait for anything, and that he spent a long time waiting and it was a big regret of his.”

“Peggy,” you said, earning a small nod from Bruce.

“He’s still waiting, this time not for Peggy.” You looked back at Bruce, a little taken aback. It was as if your heart was caught in your throat.

“You mean…”

He nodded again, before quickly touching your arm and disappearing behind you, you assumed to find Natasha. You took another sip, finding that your mouth had become awfully dry. You waited a minute to compose yourself before starting towards the elderly gentlemen.

“Excuse me boys,” you announced, gaining their attention.

“Well hey there little lady,” one laughed, his voice familiar.

“Hey Stan, how’s the hip?”

“Ah. It’s not so bad, I’m still young at heart,” he winked, his glasses thick, making his eyes seem bug like. He wore an old baseball hat and bomber jacket, even indoors in the heat of the Stark tower.

“Of course you are, you don’t look a day over thirty.” The group erupted into fits of laughter. “I’m looking for Steve, have any of you seen him?”

“He went over to the bar to find someone, but perhaps you wanna stay in our company?” He smirked. You rolled your eyes and laughed, kissing his cheek before leaving them to their whiskey and scotch.

The crowd was dense, bodies everywhere. Several you recognised, many recognised you, but you tried not to get caught up in conversation with anyone. Right now your main mission was finding Steve, questions regarding your powers and personal life from strangers, could come later.

You then spotted blonde hair, the perfect blonde hair, and blue eyes, and pink lips. You swallowed. He was smiling that perfect smile, the one that made your heart skip, and palms sweat and… you know the rest. As your pace picked up a little, you saw he was with someone, a woman. She had long black hair, and was reasonably short. You didn’t recognise her, but you did recognise the look in Steve’s eyes. Your smile fell a little as Thor appeared by your side.

“Y/N! What a pleasure. I’ve been surrounded by earthlings for the last hour. Ha. As if they don’t know enough about me.”

“Hi, Thor, I was just going over to-“

When you looked back at Steve his pink lips were attached to someone else’s, and everything just stopped. Your eyes looked back at Thor who had noticed your change in demeanour, and they began to fill with hot, salty tears. Your hand clamped onto Thor’s forearm, as your knees weakened a little bit. He looked behind him, seeing the same image that had ruptured your heart. “Y/N…”

“I have to go.”

You pushed past him, trying to reach the stairs. For some unfair reason, your legs weren’t quick enough, and more bodies seemed to flood the floor just as more tears were begging to fall down your rosy cheeks.

You were so focused on staring at the floor for fear that someone may see you in this horrendous, vulnerable state, that you didn’t see the hard body step infront of you. “Hey Y/N,�� Steve smiled. You were surprised he could seem so happy after what he had just done.

You stared up at him, and he immediately noticed your glossy eyes. “Oh, hi Steve, enjoying your evening?” you asked, tone laced with anger.

He reached his hand out. “Y/N what’s wrong-“

“Nothing. Don’t let me take you away from your female company.” He stepped back, jaw slack in surprise.

“What do you… Oh god. That was nothing Y/N, she jumped-“

“I don’t need to listen to you Steve. Not now. Just leave me alone.” You said, pushing past him. His hand caught yours, and you felt so enraged that your grip around the wine glass in your free hand began to tighten until a large crack stretched throughout the side of it. In seconds it was nothing but shards of glass on the pristine floor below you, surrounded with the little wine that was left. A few people turned to looks at you, cautious as to what the noise could be. Their stares lingered and you noticed Thor’s eyes watching you. Immediately droids appeared around you, collecting the shards of glass from the floor and hoovering up the wine. You shook out of his grip, sending him one last look, before turning on your heels and heading for the door.

Steve knew not to follow. And he didn’t.

[tonystarktogo]

I have a headcanon that a lot of Tony's quirks come from being autistic. Sure, he can pass in public just fine, but when he gets home after a party with all the lights and people, he just crashes. He needs to be alone,he needs to drown out all the little sounds with one big sound, his music, he needs to focus, to use his hands, and even alcohol can be a coping mechanism, dulling the sensory input he receives. (1... follow up follows)

(2: ) So, sometimes, when he’s running low on energy, his asd shows a bit more, he’s more fidgety, worse at looking at people and either unisually monosyllabic or extremely hyperverbal, unable to keep in even the worst of his snark. He forgets to eat and sleep. I’d love to think that the others slowly get behind why these things happen and are completely unbothered by his quirks and his partner would completely have his back when Tony needs support.

This is a beautiful headcanon, thank you so much for sharing it!! [Warning: My knowledge on autism is limited. I did some research on scriptautistic as a resource (I can recommend all the script blogs, by the way), but that has hardly turned me into an all-knowing goddess (it’s more comparable with being upgraded from ‘utterly ignorant’ to ‘slightly less ignorant’), so please take everything with a healthy dose of scepticism. And if you have any concerns or I’ve messed up in any way, please shoot me a quick ask/message to let me know!]

Let’s start with the team first: It would probably take them a while to catch on. Not entirely through their or Tony’s fault, it’s mostly that Tony’s rarely around those first weeks after the other Avengers have moved into the tower. And even when he is, he usually manages to shut himself off into the workshop before he has a meltdown, which is hardly unusual behaviour as far as the team is concerned.

I think Thor might be the one who figures it out first? Maybe not that Tony is autistic, at least not right away, but he’s very loud usually. And for all that some gossip magazines like to paint him as the dumb foreigner/comic relief, he’s actually very attentive and notices when Tony reacts negatively to him. Maybe he flinches, maybe he avoids Thor when possible, whatever it is, Thor notices and it bothers him. So he pays more attention.

He eventually asks Bruce for help once he’s sufficiently confused by the mixed signals Tony is sending him (aka whether Tony dislikes him personally or it’s something else). Once Bruce actually pays attention and he starts pulling up relevant data and stuff, it’s really just a matter of time until he figures it out. And when that happens, well. A secret doesn’t stay a secret inside the Avengers’ home for very long…

Nobody on the team approaches Tony though. They all agree–well, Bruce agreed, and once he side-eyed everyone with sufficient greenery, no one was going to disagree–that he should come to them when he’s ready, etc. Still, Thor takes care to speak on a lower volume. And Natasha returns all the system settings, from the binds to the usual volume of the TV, that Clint messed around with at one point back to their former settings. Oh, and nobody protests anymore or tries to stop Tony from suddenly fleeing the room.

In the end, they never find out whether Tony would have told them on his own, because life happens and he suffers a complete meltdown in front of the team only two weeks later.

Natasha is the first to realise what’s happening and is pulling Steve back even as Tony throws himself behind the couch, pure terror written across his face. “Back off!” she snaps, low and all the more serious for it. “Give him space!”

It’s the kind of battle voice they’re all used to obeying, even before understanding dawns in Bruce’s eyes as well. “JARVIS!” he calls out softly. “Shutdown mode, please.”

The AI doesn’t answer, but the TV and radio in the kitchen are immediately turned off and the lights are dimmed. Even the running dishwasher stops and within moments the entire room is dark and quiet.

Minutes pass like this, before finally Tony crawls out from his hiding place again.

“Are you feeling better?” Clint asks, not moving from where he sits cross-legged on the floor, waiting patiently.

Eventually, it earns him a quick nod and a quiet “Sorry about that.” There’s an odd mixture of shame and embarrassment in Tony’s expression. Both of which are emotions the team isn’t used to seeing on him–and it bothers them all the more that they see it under these circumstances.

“You don’t have anything to apologise for,” Clint states firmly, leaving no room for argument.

(Not that Tony truly believes them that first time. But at least they can finally talk about what they can do to make things easier, what to avoid etc. It’s a surprisingly fruitful discussion, never mind the confused and suspicious glances Tony keeps shooting them.)

(A couple of things are still trial and error for the team. It takes them some time to figure Tony’s non-verbal signs out, to be able to tell when he needs a hug and when any touch might overwhelm him. And even when they do everything right, shutdowns and meltdowns are still a part of it, and though they aren’t that common for Tony, they get never any easier to watch.)

(Tony meanwhile is blown away by how much the others try to take his limits into account and are they actually respecting his boundaries?

It’s weird. It’s great.)

Now to the partner: I couldn’t decide for the longest time who Tony’s partner would be in this ‘verse (really, go with whomever you prefer) but I eventually decided on Clint. Clint, who is absolutely perfect–as far as Tony is concerned at least–and who is absolutely sickening in love–as far as Natasha is concerned.

They’ve been friends for a long time before they finally start dating, so in some regards at least, not a lot of change is required. The entire team has learned (and later been told by Tony) that he sometimes struggles to interpret their mood and body-language. So they have a system where, when Tony asks Clint about their day, he tells him directly how he feels. (Which is probably the first time Clint’s bluntness comes into handy relationship-wise.)

(Also, while Clint has free access towards Tony’s penthouse and sleeps there more often than in his own bed, the workshop remains off-limits except for short exceptions. That’s Tony’s room alone, where he gets to hide from any and everything, and it remains that way.)

(By the way, there’s absolutely no denying it, not that Clint ever would: he loves being with Tony. Whether it’s sex or cuddling or a massage, it doesn’t matter. Tony’s just so damn sensitive to even the slightest touch and Clint loves it.)

All in all their relationship isn’t perfect, of course it isn’t, but they’re doing pretty damn well–and will kick the ass of whatever unfortunate person says otherwise. Together. Because they’re awesome like that.

(The slap you just heard in the background was Natasha hitting Clint upside the head, but you already knew that, didn’t you?)