#(understandably tho cuz it was long and that sort of stuff takes time to make)

[halfusek]

Since the new Chris Portal documentary showed the true and nasty side of KB/Mike and TheMeatly, are you still gonna Say "we don't know the full story"?. We as a fanbase were treated as shitty as the employees they fired and abused, they don't deserve respect anymore.

uh i dont know where you've been but that video hasn't uncovered much new to me aside from some details from the two interviews near the end of the vid but like all of that stuff has already been known, it is just the first instance of someone compiling it into a coherent video (like the stupid games for kids said by mike we already knew in 2019 which i would not exactly say is the same as experiencing work abuse lol)

and idk why you're being so hostile at me, i've never been one to defend mike nor meatly but tried to find and share as much of the information as i could find about their wrongdoings, like dude i was fucking there pointing out that a lot of employees dont have "kindlybeast employee" in their twitter bios which then got screenshot and that post went on reddit where actual ex employees started sharing stuff (which freaked me out cuz i didnt want to have my "face" on the post dedicated to that) so like maybe turn that down a little

i feel like there's a lot of people new to some things unraveling in this controversy but as for me i've already made up my mind what i think of it, so i'm not so up in arms to scream about things that we already screamed about 2-3 years ago and that might make people think that i don't care or wanna brush it off which is not true

kindly beast / joey drew studios inc / mike and meatly deserve all the criticism aimed towards them, and on the day it was known about the lawsuit i laughed that karma finally got to them because i had thoughts "for all the shit they did to people, they deserve to fail and lose everything, to start over"

but i also think this is an opportunity for them to improve, learn and do better, sooooo i'm just kind of waiting for the next thing to happen i guess

in case they don't improve, welp, they can honestly fuck off

death of the author, whatever, it is anyone's personal call if they wanna keep on supporting some creators or not, and well as for me i think there's so much more and worse stuff that we (we as... gaming community... fandoms...?) tolerate that this seems just... small in comparison. i'm NOT saying it's not a big deal, it has me wishing lowkey that i just wasn't into batim lmao so i could just go. like for example i'm much more disgusted at sc/ott caw/thons wrongdoings cause they actually influence politics so i'm actively trying to keep myself away from engaging with fnaf or that one pirate gay show that i was like holy shit a cool gay couple but then read some yikes things about a character being based on actual real life guy who was a slave owner and that just had me nope out. i guess what i'm saying is i try not to support problematic things but if i were to suport only those purely unproblematic thatd kinda leave me with nothing idk society capitalism something something so you know i just try to weigh if something is actively harmful to people or if there is something that happened that i absolutely cannot forgive and based on that i get into something or not

does that make me a hypocrite? maybe but if i focus on boycotting what matters in the grand scheme of things and indulge a little in indie game fandom that's rapidly losing popularity i think i can personally live with that

sorry for going off about this, truth be told there's a lot of things happening in the world right now that put me in a very doomer mode lmao i mean we all see whats happening, shits pretty fucked and it was hard for me to even spare some focus on this, its really not good to get so desensitized so i also apologize for the harsh tone but yeah

anyways, i agree that we should make them feel like they need to apologize and do better, meatly still havent said a word publicly about anything that has happened and that fucking sucks

i still do not like harassing them over releasing batdr, thats part of crunch culture and all that jazz and i think we shouldnt lower the standards for that for anyone because [insert that image of you doing something bad to someone you dislike but it deflecting into someone you like]

but we should keep them on their toes and not let them think that we will just forget and let them get away with it because wow they've been massive assholes

[dino-boyo-agere]

Okay, I don't know if I'm alone with it, but I can't stop thinking about Saltburn characters as age regressors & CGs, especially Felix..

I'm sorry, but this man boy had a broken bike, and instead of just.. pushing it to the destination that wasn't too far, (especially not with this long legs!!?!) all he did was sulk and sigh in the hopes somebody would take pity? He definitely belongs in the baby pile!!

Same with Annabel.. You can't tell me she doesn't use regression to cope with her messed up family life, and the fact that she had to survive in the shadow of her golden child brother..

Anyways, here are Saltburn AgeRe head canons:

Felix mainly regresses for fun and to give his true emotions an outlet.

His regression also helps to heal his inner child from the emotional neglect he had to experience throughout his childhood, but he hasn't quite figured that out yet.

He keeps it "secret" from his parents, cuz they wouldn't understand..

Elsbeth knows technically, but she thinks it's a k1nk thing & she doesn't care.

James also knows.. He doesn't understand it, but he places some baby stuff in Felix's room as a surprise every once in a while.. Felix doesn't know they're from his dad.

Duncan has become some sort of primary caregiver for Felix.

He takes credit for the gifts, because he really enjoys the happy dances, thank you hugs and pictures he gets from little Felix. Ducan thinks "if the gift giver didn't put their name on it, they probably didn't want Felix to know anyways, so there's no harm in taking the credit."

He really enjoys how loving, cuddly and vulnerable little Felix can get.

Duncan feels like he can finally raise a child of his own. (He never had time for even a relationship, bc of his job.)

Felix is still a little brat when tiny, he was raised to be one, so it's hard to shake off.

He throws fits, cries, yells or even throws physical things, when something is not going his way.

Annabel knows about his regression and is not sure how to bring up that she also is part of the baby pile.

She found it helps her cope with her mental health issues, she mainly regresses involuntarily, after bad episodes.

Felix ends up finding out and they have playdates sometimes, but they often end up fighting.

Big Felix also judges/ makes fun of her for "not being able to control her regression". He doesn't understand the concept of involuntary regressing.

He has a really hard time realizing that not everyone is exactly like him, that's just a result of being the golden child.

Annabel is often sad/ upset when tiny.

She also gets jealous when she sees how loving Duncan is to Felix.

But she also really wants Felix to like and play with her, she's desperate for his approval and a sibling connection.

At one point James finds his daughter crying, that's nothing unusual, but this time he could tell it was different.. she seemt so incredibly small and fragile.

He becomes her primary cg after that night, and their relationship immensely improves.

Felix gets upset because he doesn't get as many gifts anymore though and gives Deacon he'll for it, still thinking they where from him lol

He's happy to see Annabel and James creating such a loving relationship, but he'd never say that out loud.. he's a little jealous at the same time aswell tho.

Farleigh also finds out about their regression, but is not sure what to make of it.

He kind of wants to take care of the little ones sometimes, and that scares him.

Little Felix giggles a lot, he likes running around and playing outside & in the water.

He's also an absolute cuddle bug, but only with Ducan. He follows him around like a lost puppy and constantly seeks physical touch. (Grabbing his hand/ arm, hugging him, etc.)

Felix also really enjoys showing off his skills, to get praise from his cg.

Ducan has a whole chest full of pictures, crafts and learning pages little Felix did.

Annabel is more of the quiet type, she likes coloring and just snuggling with her Papa or a plushie.

James really values this second chance at being a good dad to his daughter, he felt a lot of remorse for always prioritizing Felix.

Annabel and Felix's relationship also ends up improving.

The fighting will probably never fully stop, that's just sibling things.

Farleigh also finds himself filling a "big sibling" role over time and he likes being the one in charge every once in a while.

He's is stricter than Ducan and James, but he's not unfair.

With Farleigh he kiddos have set bedtimes, a limit to how many sugary stuff they're allowed to consume and get scolded for fighting/ causing trouble.

The most dreaded punishment of Felix is sitting on the stairs for 5 to 10 minutes, kid hates being bored.

Unfortunately he often has to sit on the stairs, he's quite the trouble maker.

Annabel hates getting her plushie taken away, the plushie is still in the same room, but up on a shelf, she just can't cuddle it for 5 to 10 minutes.

Luckily she very rarely has to be punished, she's a very well behaved kid!

All in all, regression brings most of the family closer together! <3

That's all I can think of right now, I might add more later.

I left out Oliver on purpose, cuz he's a creepy little freak and we don't stand him in this household hehe

Hope y'all enjoyed this read!!

.ﾟ｡.･.*.ﾟ☆❗only interact if your blog is SFW❗☆ ﾟ.*.･. ｡ﾟ.

[klonoadoortophantomile]

okay i know nothing about object shows but im willing to learn so if youre up for another infodump im all ears

STARES AT THIS ASK. okay uhrnmhm thisll be under a cut becuz its long <//3 just gonna talk abt General Osc Things since you said you dont know much… okay👍

okay so object shows are just like.. silly funny web-series things with little object guys. they tend to have faces and little stick figure limbs but of course there are always characters that will break typical design conventions. general name for Eveythjng is the object show community (osc for short. theres so many acronyms hopefully that isnt too confusing..)

first ever object show is bfdi (battle for dream island) it was made in 2010 by these two guys, the huang twins, youve probably seen Something theyvemade before they make a lotta cool things, it started in 2010 and is still going on today! its a competition based show inspired by total drama, and the main premise is 20 contestants who are little silly objects are competing for the titular ‘dream island’ throughout multiple challenges, and characters get voted out each episode by the viewers! bfdi is mostly silly jokes and slapstick type stuff, but still has certain bits where they get more ‘serious’ and has its fair share of lore and character arcs. practically every object show is based off of/inspired by this since it was the first and set up the general formula most other shows follow =)

generally speaking its agreed on that inanimate insanity (ii for short) is the second show to be made, and this one takes even more total drama/survivor inspirations. it started in 2011, and is also still going on, generally the second most popular show and REALLY popular on the tumblr side of the osc, probably due to its more ‘serious’ tone compared to other shows. season 1 is pretty… aged.. you can tell it was made by a bunch of teens in the early 2010s, but season 2 as it goes on gets more and more focus on story, character arcs and development, all that jazz. theres a ton of shows from around the time that later season 2 episodes where releasing that take a lot more inspirtation from it in tone and stuff!

something im not entirely sure how to fit into the main bits is that these are like. largely made by kids/teens. bfdi was first created when they were in like middle school n stuff, same with ii, in more recent years as people who have been the community for a while n stuff are getting older theres a lot more adults of course but its still mainly younger people… not enough people seem to take that into consideration when talking abt the community at large/certain shows n stuff so i figured id make sure to point it out 👍

actually speaking of that. a lot and i mean a LOT of shows end up being kind of… obviosuly made by kids. a lot of people find this annoying but i personally couldnt care less its pretty endearing to me (probably cuz me and my friends were all like that lolz) although i can understand where people are coming from with shit where its just like.. offensive. thats not too common tho in my expierence. okay so generic and ‘poorly’ made shows are super common. the response to this there was a massive surge in joke shows which are their whole own beast. im not too familiar with them so im not the best person to come for for that stuff, they generally just joke about how generic and oversaturated object shows were getting to be around the time . all that shit. gimmick shows are also pretty common nowadays, i havent seen any of these so i have nothing to really say i just dont know much aside from they have Gimmicks and thats the whole premise ?

a show thats become like, massive, considered one of ‘the big three’ up there with bfdi and ii, is ONE by cheesy hfj (sometimes also called hfjone or one hfj) its this sort of meta show that uses object shows as a framing device (and its predecessor was this show called battle for circle which is a joke show poking fun at how low quality and samey everything is blah blah blah) and its. a whole thing . i dont even know how to really explain it in a quick summary its like… the undertale of object shows if that makes sense.

theres just. so much i genuienly dont know how or where to end this off becuz the community is SO big and has been around for over a decade and im only really familar with tiny sections of it…

yeah. general takeaway for me when it comes to Everything as a whole is just like.. object shows. the osc. whatever. is just this big community made of passionate people who like to make things and want to share that and its!! cool and fun and despite it having all the typical fandom issues im really grateful that i discovered this stuff becuz it genuinelyhas changed my life and i dont know if i would be as into making art or if i would have this kinda attitude on art that i have now if it werent for the osc. a lot of shows are really silly and all of it looks. kinda stupid if youre not familar with them but they gneuinely hold this special place in my heart cuz… well im not entirely sure how to put it into words if im bring honest. they just feel very.. genuine to me. everyone in the community is so passionate and it just makes me really happy seeing people making things they love and enjoy regardless of how ‘stupid’ or ‘cringe’ or whatever the fuck it might seem if that makes sense =)

[kimoralov3]

dating druig would include...

warnings: mild angst? talks of mortality, swearing (what's new), spoilers for the eternals, but this is mainly fluff don't worry

general relationship stuff

i feel like druig would be a really good boyfriend

but not in the "he does everything perfectly and yall never argue and blah blah blah"

but in a realistic way

like yeah he gets shit wrong but at least he's trying yknow?

druig doesn't seem like the type of guy to be into pda that much

like he'll give you little hugs and smiles and stuff in public

but he saves his true affections for when the two of you are alone

because, and i quote

"these moments should only be shared by the two of us"

but you honestly don't mind because you both love each other and you understand how he works

first i love you

druig probably knew that he loved you way before he said it

because love is probably a new thing for him

because yknow he's been secluded for a very long time

but druig is a very smart person so it wouldn't take him long to at least think of being in love with you

as for who was the first one to say it

i feel like the two of you would kinda say it at the same time

like druig had been thinking about how to say it in a way that wouldn't freak you out for months

and you were trying to figure out how to tell him that you loved him without scaring him

so the two of you were just sitting there chilling and you both told the other that you had something to tell each other

so you just blurted it out to each other

it was just a really cute moment in general

nicknames for each other

i mean anything that druig called me would make me faint

but i feel like he would go with more old timey (???) nicknames

like love, darling, angel, beautiful, etc...

sometimes a combination of those

and he'll usually add a "my" in front just to see you be all flustered and shit cuz he's a little shit

and you have more teasing nicknames for him

like grumpy pants

you called him eeyore one time

he still hasn't forgiven you lol

dates

dates with druig aren't always specified

like sometimes the two of you will just sit in silence with him running his hand down your back

and sometimes one of you would read to the other in front of the fireplace

but on the rare occasions that the two of you actually spend time planning a date

druig will usually go for the more expensive places as a way to get you to dress up more

because he just loves the way getting ready makes you happy

and he always makes sure to compliment you everytime he sees you (who needs blush when you have druig)

there are the occasional picnic dates and such

these actually technically count as two dates because you and druig would cook the food together

speaking of cooking

there are definitely times where you come home from work and he's made like a full feast (i said that he doesn't like pda not that he isn't affectionate)

if you were mortal

he would constantly worry that something bad was going to happen to you

whether it be because of him or a natural human disease

you would constantly affirm him that nothing was ever going to happen to you and that he had nothing to worry about

the subject of your mortality has definitely led to some arguments but they never last long because druig hated arguing with you (more on that later)

druig tried not to think about the fact that you would die one day but it was hard

he'd even had some nightmares about it sometimes

but you were always there to console him

he would definitely teach you how to fight for your safety and to put his mind at ease a little

if you were somehow immortal

druig would be put at ease because he didn't have to worry about you dying of old age

but you are his partner so he'd definitely still be worried about people hurting you

but you can't be immortal and not having some sort of fighting ability

druig would still insist on teaching you how to fight a bit better

even tho you're both immortal, druig is still older so he would definitely playfully tease you about you being younger

"i'd watch the way you talk to me young one" "oh fuck off dru"

the two of you enjoy telling each other stories about crazy things that happened to you over the centuries

but you both loved the fact that the promise to stay each other forever was 100% possible

arguments

of all the eternals id want to argue with druig the least

because he definitely has a way with words and that can be harmful to the person on the receiving end

most of the time the arguments were squashed before either of you could walk off or do anything that could prolong the argument

"y/n, im sorry. you know i hate arguing with you."

but sometimes it wasn't easy

one of you (probably druig) would say something that they didn't mean that would really cut the other deep

if you said something that hurt druig he'd storm off to take a walk

and if he said something to hurt you you'd scoff and go talk to sersi or thena

you two do have a healthy enough relationship to the point that you can both admit when your wrong and one person isn't just apologizing first all the time

your relationship with the other eternals

out of all of the eternals, you are closest to sersi. she is just such a kind and open minded person that the two of you just naturally clicked. you basically trust her with your life. the two of you would even go on double dates with druig and dane sometimes (not like druig has a choice)

seeing as her and druig are best friends, you and makkari get on really well. she appreciates the way you don't try to change the way druig is but still know how to stick up for yourself. she definitely teases him about you before the two of you got together.

i feel like you are an extreme smart person and saw right through ikaris' bullshit of an act. you didn't even really know that him and druig didn't get along, but his over confidence/arrogance rubbed you the wrong way from the start. however, you were still a civil person around him and kept the digs to a minimum

phastos absolutely adores you. the first time you met the two of you geeked out about some technology thing that only smart people understand, and he was really impressed. he was also impressed with your ability to build things from random objects

i feel like you and gilgamesh hit it off when you complimented his food (when i watched the movie i almost cried because i couldn't eat any of it), and you've been close ever since. he was also one of the people you went to for meaningful life advice

after a bit of internal freak out because who wouldn't freak out if thena/angelina jolie was in front of them you and thena just spent like the whole night talking. you could tell that she needed a fresh mind to put her troubles into, and you were glad to help

kingo was the most interesting eternal for you to meet to say the least. he was definitely the most outgoing than everyone else, but he toned it down a little once he noticed that you were more of a chill person. the two of you definitely bonded over his excellent music taste (yes im a bts stan and what about it)

you and sprite's relationship was a bit weird to say the least. it's not like the two of you didn't get along, you just weren't close. it was always short sentences, maybe a nod or two. no real instances where you bonded with her

you definitely understand why ajak was considered the mother of the eternals. she welcomed you to the family with open arms, telling you how happy she was that you had come into druig's life.

marriage

you and druig's wedding would be really small, you you two, the eternals, and a few of your family and friends

you both had an equal hand in planning the wedding, but druig would let you take over sometimes because he thought you looked so cute when you were focused on something

ajak definitely cried during the ceremony because one of her children is getting married

sersi officiated because why wouldn't she

the two of you spent your honeymoon in paris because druig remembered you talking about it how you always wanted to go

you had to drag him to the Eiffel tower to take pics he would've done it eventually on his own

your marriage isn't really that different than when the two of you were dating

except you like to refer to each other as husband and wife/husband

"anything for you my darling wife/husband"

gifts

druig absolutely loves to spoil you

like where he gets the money to buy all these gifts is a big mystery

sometimes it's small gifts like a painting he made or a poem

there was one time he had a staute of you made

"druig where the fuck are we gonna put this thing" "i think our room is the perfect place"

if there's an artist/band that you really like that's going on tour he'll definitely get you tickets he says (he doesn't really like modern music but you catch him listening to the neighborhood a few times)

one day you ask him why he likes giving you gifts so much

"because i love you, and seeing the look on your face when you receive one of my gifts makes my day"

[takamishinko]

hi hi canipleaserequestagain andimbeingannoyingiknow iloveyourwriting👉👈 h e r e p l s - diluc, kaeya, childe, zhongli and xiao ofc w/ a male neko reader (like diona half cat half human?) (and reader has like shadow power????? what is this lmao- i cannot explain myself to save myself- ugh-)

haha dw bout it i love writing for genshin :) but if u can please try and be more specific next time it will make it easier for me to write!

kaeya, diluc, childe, xiao, and zhongli with a male s/o with cat traits and a unique "vision"

_____

kaeya and diluc:

im just gonna lump them together im too lazy to find another gif

kaeya would probably would love your cat ears

pets them all the time and brushes them to make sure they're clean and stuff

will compliment and make small talk with you while doing it too

i headcanon diluc to love cats, he seems like a cat person

loves your ears but will never admit it

when brushing them he won't say anything because he's too busy appreciating them

kaeya would asks diona if the two of you are related

very cheesy and kinda cringe but he would definitely call you kitty/kitten

since your literally a catboy in a sense

diluc knows diona hates him but he'll still go to diona and asks is there any way to better take care of you cuz the two of you are similar

will get hate from diona obviously but he'll suck it up for you

will not call you kitty/kitten unless you literally beg him to, he don't do that.

kaeya shows you off to other ppl and tells them he has a pet cat

you offer to go on missions with kaeya and he gladly accepts because he knows your powers and acknowledges them

diluc wouldn't tell other ppl about ur relationship unless you want to, cuz as we all know he doesn't like to share

you offer to help diluc but he's overprotective and doesn't let you go on missions with him even tho he knows what you're capable of

childe:

idk why but i think childes probs really bad with animals especially cats

so he's glad that at least you like him

one time he bought u like a shit ton of fish and asked you if you like them

he never did it again

buys you all sorts of stuff cuz mans rich asf

and by stuff i mean like jewelry, whatever products you need to take care of your fur ect.

will play with your ears when cuddling

holds you in his arms like a kitty and will refuse to sleep until you're asleep first

can't grasp the idea of ur vision

he has a two different visions himself but he still can't grasp the idea of yours

asks you to duel a lot with him

cuz he's a bloodhungry mf

he'll try to figure out where your vision came from by himself so he told you to not tell him about the origin of it

he'll take you wherever he goes btw

like everywhere

one because he's made a lot of enemies throughout his battle history so he's scared of someone hurting you when he's gone

secondly because he knows he can protect you

he knows your power and how strong you are but he doesn't want to take any risks

xiao:

he doesn't even care about humans lol so he cares less about animals

except for you ofc, you're the only exception

doesn't know anything about animals and does not know how to take care of your cat traits whatsoever

but he's trying.

he doesn't understand the concept of finding something cute

so he definitely does find your ears and tail cute he just doesn't know the feeling of it

mans barely knows the feeling of being in love with someone so

impressed by your powers because it's not technically considered a vision

he doesn't care for it much as long as you can protect yourself with it before like

the 1-2 seconds he gets there he's fine with it

is not keen on pda or letting anyone except for zhongli know about this relationship

he doesn't get the idea of relationships in general really but in his idea he likes it private

he worries at times because he's an adeptus, meaning he'll get to live forever with the thought of you d13ing before him

zhongli:

i dont think zhongli is an animal person

i feel like animals are the last thing he cares about tbh he's been through too much just like xiao

however

he will try to know more about cats because his boyfriend has cat traits

is not open about the relationship unless people ask him about it

in that case he will proudly present you as his boyfriend

and say stuff like he is honored

people will disagree tho

they will say things like

"how could the former archon be in a relationship with a mere mortal, let alone a human with cat traits."

he will kindly reason with them if this does happen

however if reasoning doesn't work then he will chose 2 solutions

1. just leaving

2. "i will have order" /j

but really he doesn't care what anyone says

he just wants you to feel happy and safe cuz that's the type of bf he is :)

hutao loves you btw

thinks your ears are so cute and you guys are like bestfriends since zhongli takes u to meet her sometimes but you too just get along really well

zhongli is quite interested in your power because throughout everything he's seen during his lifetime he hasn't seen anything like yours

however just like xiao he's glad you can protect yourself with it

[elvish-sky]

You are the One Person I could Never Hate {Legolas x Reader}

A.N: I may or may not have written most of this on my phone on a three-hour car ride, but it was a good way to pass the time. I really like this fic, I had a lot of fun writing it and it's my first request, so I hope you enjoy it!

Anon Request from Tumblr: hi! I was hoping you take requests cuz I do have one of you do! Could you please write a Legolas x reader fic with cuddles? Maybe some jealous Legolas at some point too? Anything you want tho really! Love your stuff, can't wait to see more <3

Word Count: 2,414

Pairing: Legolas x Reader

Summary: Legolas gets jealous of the time Y/N spends with Aragorn and Boromir.

Warnings: Jealousy, fluff, some angst, cuddles.

****

You are the One Person I could Never Hate

"Y/N, Aragorn, we're stopping!" came a shout from behind you. You and Aragorn turned to see Legolas beckoning towards you, with tired hobbits sprawled on the ground around him, and Sam starting a fire.

The two of you made your way back to the group and sat down, anticipating Sam's stew. Over the past weeks, you and Aragorn had grown close. To be fair, you had become close with everyone in the Fellowship in different ways. With Aragorn, it was a sort of quiet companionship. You shared a love of the wilderness, and he had been teaching you how to fight with a sword, compared to your two daggers. He had become a brother to you. The same was true with all the others in the Fellowship, except one. It felt different when you were with Legolas. There was something else there.

As Sam served the stew, you chatted with Boromir about herbs. You'd discovered that he had an interest in herbs and healing, rather unusual for a soldier of Gondor. The two of you often played a game while on the move that involved challenging the other's knowledge. You were currently discussing today's tally. "So that makes nineteen for Y/N and twenty-two for me!" said a smug Boromir. "No way!" you shot back. "I had twenty-three and you had twenty!" Aragorn jumped in, "Actually, as I recall, Y/N got the first eight and then proceeded to misidentify the next fifteen. Boromir got twelve." This declaration was met with nods from the rest, including Sam, who was, along with Aragorn, considered the expert. You rolled your eyes and shared a glance with Boromir, silently agreeing that you both had gotten more than Aragorn had said.

The night went on, and you began to grow tired. You glanced over the fire at Legolas, but he wouldn't meet your eyes. Feeling rather confused and even a little slighted, you got up, and with a yawn pronounced "I'm gonna go to sleep, goodnight everyone." With a chorus of goodnights coming from the group, you turned and walked over to your bedroll, laying down and drifting off as you watched the others begin to wander to bed.

You were shaken awake the next morning by the elf, and with a sharp "get up" he made his way over to wake up Gimli and then the hobbits. Confused by his abruptness, you got up and began to pack.

Once you started walking, you hurried to the front of the group, wanting to talk to Legolas. "Legolas- wait up!" The elf turned, saw it was you who had called out, and begrudgingly stopped. Once you caught up, you said, "I've noticed you've been a little out of sorts lately- is everything okay?" He replied with a curt "yes" and kept walking. You easily matched his pace and continued "you keep glaring at me, you won't talk to me, are you sure?" "I'm fine. Why don't you go talk to Aragorn or someone else you clearly seem to like more than me?" With that, he sped up, leaving you behind feeling more confused than ever, and even like you had done something wrong.

As the hobbits passed you, you sidled up to Aragorn. "What's wrong with Legolas?" you asked. "I think you might want to talk to him about it," Aragorn replied with a smirk.  "I tried that!" you shot back. "I think he might hate me. All he did was glare at me and say something about you and me." "I think that might explain something, and I've seen the way you look at him. Just try talking it out." Aragorn said. "Now, I'm just going to go speak with Legolas and clear up a few things. Why don't you catch up with the hobbits and see what in Middle-Earth Pippin is gesturing to Merry and Boromir about?" And in fact, once you caught up to them Pippin was giving some long-winded explanation of a planned prank on Gimli and Aragorn, which somehow included worms, water, and Boromir, who, it became clear, had had a hand in planning the whole thing. You decided to walk by yourself for a while, not wanting to be implicated once the crime was committed.

You walked on, Aragorn's words ringing through your head. ~"I've seen the way you look at him."~ You thought back over the time spent traveling with them all. You had found yourself admiring Legolas often, but you had brushed it off as the result of his elven looks. Now, though, you began to realize Aragorn knew you better than you knew yourself. He had taken better notice than you at how you blushed whenever Legolas touched you, even if it was just his hand on your arm as he stood up. What you didn't notice were the eyes of the elf upon you all the time, the way he would automatically move his body to shield yours at any sign of danger, and how whenever you spoke he would listen raptly, even if you were just composing more bawdy lyrics for Merry's newest drinking song. You hadn't noticed these things, but Aragorn had, and as you walked you went through your memories and began to notice them too.

That night at the campfire, Aragorn, the meddling moron, assigned you and Legolas to firewood duty. You followed him into the forest, slightly annoyed at Aragorn but knowing that you needed to talk with Legolas. Yet again lost in your thoughts, you crashed into something and fell over. Lying underneath you was Legolas, with a shocked expression on his face and dirt in his hair. "Y/N!" he exclaimed. "Watch where you're going!" "Sorry," you replied and rolled off him to offer him a hand up. He ignored it and sprung up without your help while saying, "Actually, Y/N, I need to talk to you." Confused, you replied, "You've been ignoring me for a week! What could you possibly have to say now?" Ashamed, he looked down. "Aragorn told me what you said to him earlier. He said you thought I hated you. I asked him to assign us to get firewood tonight so that I could talk to you about it." He continued, "I know I've been rather awful to you lately and I wanted to tell you why. I was jealous." You had been pacing around the small clearing you were in as he spoke, but at this, you stopped and turned to face him. "I was jealous of the way you seemed to gravitate towards Aragorn when we walked. I was jealous of how you bonded with Boromir and how easy and familiar you were with both of them. And I'm sorry I took it out on you. I understand if you are mad. I know you aren't even mine to be jealous about. I understand if you hate me now, for how horrible I've been to you. I was just trying to distance myself so that I stopped feeling for you."

Exasperated, you strode over to him, said "You are the one person I could never hate," and gently pressed your lips against his. He responded in kind, and you wrapped your legs around his waist as he turned and pressed your back against a tree. You paused to draw breath, and as you did said, "I love you." Legolas whispered back "I love you more," and kissed you again. You ran your hands through his hair as his hands roamed across your back, and deepened the kiss.

You sprang apart as shouts came from the area of the campsite. You quickly drew your daggers as Legolas notched an arrow to his bow, and together you ran through the trees. You burst back into the campsite to find Gimli and Aragorn wriggling on the ground while Merry, Pippin, Boromir, and a rather amused Gandalf looked on, and Frodo and Sam attempted to protect the fire from the splashing water. You and Legolas joined in the laughter as the two victims continued to pluck worms and dump water out of their bedrolls. Once they were satisfied that there were no more invaders in their bedding, they began to advance on the rest of you with extremely annoyed looks on their faces. Pippin's amusement was fading quickly and disappeared completely along with Merry's as they were grabbed and tossed into the nearby stream to the sounds of even more laughter. Climbing out, spluttering, they both pointed their fingers at Boromir. "Throw him in too!" said Merry, and Pippin backed him up with, "Yes, do! He helped up with the whole thing and even gathered the worms!" Boromir denied this with a vehement "No I did not!" but was tackled by two soaked hobbits. With a yell, the three of them rolled over the bank and splashed into the river.

Merry, Pippin, and Boromir sat shivering around the fire while you and everyone else puzzled over the problem that had now arisen. The three pranksters, upon getting out of the river, had rushed for their bedrolls to warm up, soaking them in the process. Now, there were five dry bedrolls for ten people. "I can give Boromir mine," you announced. "And Merry and Pippin can share with me and Frodo," Sam offered. "Gimli and I each have cloaks and other clothing we can use, so that settles it!" said Aragorn. "Wait, Y/N. Where are you going to sleep?" "I'm sure I can figure something out," you said with a sideways glance at Legolas, who, upon understanding your idea, blushed a deep beet red. "Aha!" exclaimed Aragorn. "I knew you'd work it out!" And with a wink and a "sleep well" followed by a whole lot of sniggering from him and Gimli, he made his way over to take the first watch.

Meanwhile, you and Legolas made your way over to his bedroll, ignoring the stares and smirks of everyone else. "Y/N" he whispered, "I'm not sure if us getting in bed together in front of everyone else is the best idea." "Agreed," you replied, "we'd be in for a whole world of teasing. How about I take one blanket and you take the other?" "That sounds good." So you each took a blanket and lay down a respectable foot away from the other. But you were too cold to sleep with one meager blanket on the hard forest floor.

You waited until you heard everyone else's breathing slow, signifying they were asleep, and then you rolled over to Legolas, poking him to wake him up. "Hey," you said softly, "can I sleep here?" "Of course," he replied, and lifted his blanket so you could crawl in. You grabbed the blanket he had given you earlier and placed it over the one already there to give you even more warmth. Legolas pulled you closer to him and you pressed up against him, his breath whispering in your ear. "This is nice," you said as his arm snaked across your waist, and you inhaled the smell of him. He always had the scent of a forest about him, and the smell of rain. You thought they were two of the most wonderful smells in Middle-Earth. You drifted off to sleep with Legolas' arm around you, his breath tickling your ear, and his body strong against your back.

You woke early the next morning with a yawn and tried to sit up and stretch. You let out a hiss of pain as you felt your hair catch on something, and looked around to see if anyone else had heard. They were all still asleep except the elf on the ground next to you, who had been awoken by your gasp. "Melleth nîn(my love), what is wrong?" he inquired with a concerned look. "It's my hair," you whispered, "it's caught on this god-forsaken root!" He sat up and gestured for you to adjust yourself so that you were sitting between his legs with your head on his chest. He began to comb his hands through your hair, working out the knots and untangling it from the root. As he worked, he began to softly sing an elvish lullaby to you. You'd never heard it before, but the words sounded beautiful and his voice was exquisite. You relaxed as the one you loved sang to you and worked the tangles from your hair. You were happy to have this moment of peace with him as you watched the sunrise over the mountains to the east.

You were shaken from this spell by the sounds of the rest of the Fellowship rising for the day. You sighed and rose, rolling up the bedding that the two of you had shared and packing everything up. Most of the rest of Fellowship barely spared a glance to you and Legolas other than to look happy for you, but you saw Aragorn give him a subtle fist bump.

As you started the day's walking again, Aragorn passed you, and with a smug look on his face whispered "I told you so," in your ear. You managed to punch him in the arm before he got out of reach and saw him gratifyingly wince.

The day went on as you hiked over mountains and into valleys, waiting until Gandalf called "halt!" to stop for lunch. You sprawled down onto a rock and took out an apple from your pack, one of the ones you had saved from Rivendell. As you ate, with Legolas sitting next to you, you gazed around at the rest of the group, reflecting on how ridiculously lucky it was that they were all such good people. Sure, you all had good and bad days, but you couldn't imagine attempting this journey with anyone else. They had begun to feel like family.

Legolas noticed the sappy look on your face and nudged you, asking "Y/N, what on Middle-Earth is that face for?" "Oh, nothing," you replied. "I'm just thinking." "What kind of thoughts?" he inquired. "The good kind." With that Gandalf decided that it was time to start moving again, and so you jumped up and offered a hand up to Legolas, not expecting him to take it. This time, however, he did, and he didn't let go for the rest of the day. Your hands swung, intertwined, between you as you walked. When the sun set it highlighted them and they glowed with the light of a thousand suns.

Everything tag: @entishramblings @itgetsatadhazy @boyruins

[kraiyan]

i made my own little headcannons to fit in if michael and jeremy were dating and a bunch of other stuff that i don’t want to spoil so take my headcannons and please don’t pay attention to my overuse of the words ‘so’ and ‘like’

i wrote this headcannons for me in my notes so there are mentions of panic/anxiety attacks, light mentions of an eating disorder, nightmares, and self harm but i’ll just put a trigger warning for when those parts show up and if i missed anything that is triggering please let me know

- michael is trans and gay and jeremy is bisexual

- i think they would’ve been friends since kindergarten so they grew up telling each other EVERYTHING

- i feel like michael was really girly as a kid but in like 6th grade he just completely switched to like tomboy but he didn’t do on purpose it just happened

- then in seventh grade michael told jeremy he wanted to be a boy then after that with help from jeremy he came out to his moms

- michael had a crush in jeremy since 7th grade but i don’t think jeremy was his first crush

- i think since michael was straight when he was a girl he just assumed he was straight as a boy and his sexual awakening was captain sparklez

- michael has two moms and jeremys mom would’ve died in a car accident so it’s just him and his dad

- i imagine they confessed to each other in their second year of high school

- (TW: mentions of abuse) jeremy realized he liked michael in freshman year and it was really bad he could not stop thinking about him so when he got squip squip l would not stop punishing him for it

- so jeremy definitely has some problems with his bisexuality

- after years of pining for each other when they finally kissed jeremy could not stop panicking about it

- like they went to sleep fine but he was internally panicking and he tried to keep it together but the next day he absolutely broke just started sobbing saying over and over again “is this okay, are we okay”

- michael is the type to listen to a vulgar music to help his dysphoria

- so him and jeremy are in his car michael plugs in his phone and just starts singings “hoes want to be seen with me and i like their big thick titties”

- and jeremy can do nothing else but be like michael what the fuck

- they decided to keep their relationship a secret and not tell anyone bc of jeremy still coming to terms with himself and he didn’t think his dad would understand

- but i feel like michael moms had already pieced together that they were dating and jeremy didn’t mind that they knew bc they’re literally lesbians but every time jeremy came over from that point forward they had to keep their door open

-(TW: mention of an eating disorder) in a different angstier au jeremy would struggle with eating as a control thing after squip

- (TW: mention of an eating disorder) in an angstier au michael would have an eating disorder cause dysphoria

- i feel like once he realized he was trans he had really bad dysphoria but like with therapy and stuff he got over it

- so i think michael really liked afycso and had it on a vinyl and now jeremy knows all the words

- they don’t do anything at school because jeremy is still uncomfortable so they just pursuit their relationship between closed doors and michaels car in an empty parking lot

- i feel like they both got really excited when michael got referred to as sir for the first time

- jeremy and michael grew up together but ironically when puberty hit michael started to wear baggy clothes than he wore a binder than he wore super baggy clothes to hide his tits after coming out but during squip he had time to self reflect and work on his dysphoria so when jeremy saw michael outside of school he kinda said TITS and was so caught off guard by them

-(TW: mentions of self harm scars) i think michael has sh scars due to losing his childhood best friend and the whole panic attack in the bathroom thing and jeremys seen them but didn’t bring it up to michael because they’re fading so he obviously doesn’t do it anymore but it was a huge shock for jeremy to find out

- they never brought it up tho and it was never discussed bc who cares it was in the past

- michael pants his nails black and i think on some very rare occasion jeremy would paint his nails too (like the way karl paint his) and michael has lots of nail polish cuz on the rare occasion he paints his nails different colors and he repainted his nails every two weeks

- no matter how many times michael has changed in the same room as jeremy even let jeremy help take off his binder jeremy will never not get shy when he changes and will always ask to go into another room

- jeremy is a coffee person but not hot coffe because he always drinks it too early and burns his tongue

- he originally bought his hoodie™️ in really huge size to battle dysphoria but that just made the hoodie last for years

- jeremys name in michaels phone is something very gay and lovey and shit and michaels name on jeremys phone is just michael :)

- jeremy would come home all suspicious and and red faced after him and michael came from an empty parking lot that his dad would not stop begging him to meet this girlfriend of his

- i don’t think jeremy told his dad him and michael were playing a game or something and they kiss jeremys dad comes in and is like what 😦

-and his dad is shocked that he has been pushing girlfriend but he has a boyfriend and is just soooooo awkward about it and never sees michael the same but never makes any rules about them bc he doesn’t want to be homophobic 😭

- i don’t think he was really not supportive but it took him a bit to get used to it but it was so new to him and he was just so phased he just kinda talked to jeremy about his sexuality then left it at that

- they are like gendebend bubbline (marshal lee and the other one yk)

- michael has a queen vinyl the listen to a lot

- so i think michael would still smoke a bit and one time he convinced jeremy to do it with him and jeremy mainly coughed a lot then they just made out the rest of the time but they didn’t tell their parents they would be staying out after school and they both got in trouble

- michael gets blue raspberry and jeremy gets cherry but he also gets coke sometimes too (slushy flavors)

- at the beginning of their relationship they had to take it really slow so that jeremy would feel coqmfortable

- (TW: mentions of panic attacks) so jeremy has nightmares of squip and he wakes up having panic attacks and it’s really tiring bc he only gets 2 hours of sleep if he has these nightmares

- (TW: mentions of panic attacks) i feel like along with his nightmares he also had panic attacks that squip would punish him for pursuing a relationship with a guy let alone michael

- so after he got over his nightmares he just struggled with sleeping and nighttime in general like just fear around going to sleep

- so he often stayed up alll night to avoid sleeping and would like go to bed at 6 or on a good day 4 or 5

- so i think to get over his fear he had to make a routine first he would make some sort of hot drink or just water (mostly sleepy time tea) then he would text michael that he was going to sleep he also wears the same pajamas every time he goes to sleep just to make sure the routine really works then lastly he reads a comic book then he goes to bed

- i think the reason jeremy couldn’t sleep well after getting over the nightmares is because even if squip doesn’t haunt him enough to show up in his dreams anymore it still haunts him enough to stress him out constantly so he doesn’t sleep well

- to conclude the nightmare and sleeping saga jeremy basically has a night routine and sleeps with a night light

- i feel like they both go to therapy but we’re to scared to tell each other (and they both started going to therapy before they started dating)

- so fast forward they’re dating and are trying to plan a date and jeremys like i’m busy on monday at 1 and my dad needs me to help him with something on tuesday so how about wednesday at 3 and michaels like i have somewhere to be like at 3:30 and jeremys like where do you have to be and michaels like where do YOU have to be and so they count to three and say where they’re going to be and they both say therapy and then they’re like you go to therapy i think that would be so cute

- so michael has really thick glasses like his vision is awful so if jeremy is mad at michael he would wake up early and move his glasses over so michael would have to struggle to get out of bed and look for them with his poor ass vision

- he can see things right in front of his face but as soon as it moves a bit too far it’s blurry

- and speaking of his galsses if they’re really kissing along the way jeremy would take of his glasses so they could get closer to each other’s faces (like how elle and tao do in heartstopper )

- michael and jeremy have been friends way too long to not have practiced kissing with each other

- i think christine was a long time crush for jeremy so he definitely practiced kissing michael a lot since they were in 6th grade and michael was just soaking that shit up

- he’d be like what if she wants to make out we should practice that and jeremys like oh yeah you’re right and michael would be so freaking happy

- but they definitely got caught by jeremys dad and he laughed it off cause what else are you meant to when your 11 year old son and his 12 year old best friend are kissing each other

- they didn’t do it anymore after that cause they were soooooooooo embarrassed

- so i don’t talk about the rest of the characters but i’m about to make a headcannon including them so i’m gonna say my headcannons

- so chole is demisexual and panromantic

- brooke is a lesbian

- rich is bisexual and trans

- jake is pan

- jenna is questioning or straight

- and christine is aro/ace

- so i think jeremy and christine dated for a bit then christine broke up with him cause she was all like i can see the way you look at michael and also because she realized she was feeling intense platonic attraction not romantic

- and also i think they’re all friends so they have a group chat where they send homework answers and stuff

- so i think one time jeremy is doing his nighttime routine but this particular night he’s really tired so he texts michael goodnight bby <3 love u then skips the comic book reading and goes to bed but he sent it to their group chat so as soon as he got situated into bed all he hears is his phone going off so he has to check and it’s just everyone freaking out

- so he like fully sits up is looking at his phone in complete shock then realizes he never said a name so they are like who’s this mystery girl

- so he calls michael tells him about the situation then decides he’s ready to come out

- so the next day they’re more handsy then usual like jeremy wiped something off his face michael saw that he was cold and pulled him real close and their friends are like okayyyyy

- but mind you christine knew that jeremy liked michael so she knew exactly what was happening

- so at the end of the day their friend group is making plans to hang out but everyone was busy so jeremy goes well i’ll see you guys tomorrow waves at everyone kisses michael then starts walking to his house then michaels like yea i’m gonna head home to and like drives away and from that day forward their friends would not stop teasing them and were impressed they could keep there secret for so long

- so i feel like michaels moms both have jobs that run late so mom #1 is an er nurse and mom #2 is an account so this leaves michael a lot of time of being alone in his house so naturally you need to take advantage

- so one time mom #2 gets home and walks in just to see jeremy fully on the counter making out with her son

- i don’t think they got in trouble but his mom was like please not on the counter

- and then there was another time where mom #1 came home on her break cause she doesn’t live far from the er so she like yells to michael that she’s home

- and so naturally you come down to hug your mom so he comes down to greet his mom with a red faced jeremy behind him and his mom thought this was so fucking funny but as soon as she’s done laughing she immediately goes anytime jeremys over the doors open and that was the end of it

- everyone has this one thing that someone does that make them all blushy and stuff

- for jeremy it’s when michael wears fitting clothes cause michael is known to wear hoodies or just baggy clothes in general so when michael does get hot and needs to like put something on he puts on one of those body fitting v necks and jeremy losses his shit like he’s fully blushing and avoiding eye contact and since michael changed cause he was hot he’s sure that jeremy is so hot that his face is turning red and he’s embarrassed to say to take off his cardigan so the entire time jeremy is being full homo for his boyfriend michael is thinking he’s about to pass out from a heat stroke

- so i think jeremy enjoys this so much that for the first week of spring michael will only wear fitted clothes because jeremy loves it

- for michael it’s when he’s kissing jeremys neck and jeremy runs his hand thru his hair and pulls it a little when this happens michael loses all common sense one because jeremys enjoying himself so much that he has to kinda tug on michaels hair and two he’s enjoying it so much he doesn’t have time to think that squip is going to punish him and that makes michael just lose his mind so by the time they’ve pulled apart jeremy as sooooo many hickies and they both look at each other like what the fuck did we just do

- moving right along i feel like when jeremy wakes up at night and is terrified to go back to sleep if him and michael are sleeping together he will like hug him until he gets back to sleep and it works every time

- when they were like 7 jeremy got really sick with the flu and michael was so scared that he was going to die so he kissed him while he was sleeping because if his best friend was gonna die so was he and the next day he got really sick with the flu and jeremy would not stop crying because he thought that since michael refused to leave his side he got him sick…they’re idiots

- jeremy is the type to go to school with the worst fever ever he could throw up in the middle of the school day and still not go to the nurse and if he got sick during junior year forget it you had to strap him down to his bed if you wanted him to take a day off like michael had to sedecue him into staying in bed and taking medication so that he could feel better

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS

@ziasaph

Prompt: When Roman and Y/N have a little phone teasing, Roman is left with a problem to solve...with his bare hands.

Word count: Long-ish

Pairing: Roman Reigns x Reader

Warnings: +18, masturbation(male),cursing,explicit thoughts,smut(implied)

Notes: This is my first time ever trying to “recreate” what would go through a man’s mind while masturbating( I don’t have a wiener, so you know, this might not be 100% accurate) this is written in Roman’s POV only. Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

“Fuck me...” I whispered as I adjusted my bulge for the 4th time. I just finished a phone call with Y/N, and we kinda had a little phone teasing so now,here I am making my way to my locker room with a very painful hard on that I couldn’t wait to take care of.

As soon as my eyes met the locker room door I sighed in relief, until I heard

“Yo Uce,hold up!”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” I barked under my breath

“What up Uce?” My cousin Jimmy happily smiled at me

“Good,good...” I dumbly replied

“You ok there?”

“No I’m not ok Jimmy,what to you want?”

“Is this because you lost your match? Uce, you gotta learn how to lose man”

“This is not because of my match ok? It’s another thing that’s bothering me”

“Oh...Is it because Y/N hasn’t come back yet? I know you love her and all, but ever since she left, you got all blue and shit... I’m aware of your obsession towards her,but she has her own life problems to deal with you know? You can’t get all bitchy every time she needs to leave man...” he vaguely said

Y/N took a one month license so she could solve some problems regarding her family business, and ever since she left my mood has gotten worst and worst, and I still got 8 more fucking days ahead of me before she comes back! The racional part of my brain understands and agrees with what my cousin’s saying, but the other primal part of me just wants to punch his face and tell him to shut the fuck up.

He doesn’t understand the connection that Y/N and I have, she is my other half as cheesy as that sounds. I’ve never had believed that sort of stuff UNTIL the day I met her. From that day on I knew I had found my one and only. So you can’t really blame me for being in such a shitty mood, I was left without my sunlight for a whole fucking month, so yeah, I was gonna whine about it.

“Are you done,mom?” I said with an annoyed tone

“I’m just trying to help Uce”

“Yeah I know man” I sighed “I’m sorry is just that I gotta take care of something..” I vaguely said

“Ok, I’m not gonna keep you long, I was just gonna ask you if you would like to go out to th-“

“No,thanks. I have other plans” I quickly said before he could finish

“Really? And what possibly great plan is that,that you gonna miss a night out with your favorite cousin?”

“You really wanna know?”

“Yeah! And it’s better be a good plan for you to dismiss me like that”

“I’m gonna take a shower, take care of a very painful boner, jack off while I think about my girlfriend, then I’m gonna head back to my hotel room where a nice,big and comfortable bed waits for me...and maybe jack off again looking at some pictures of Y/N. Happy now?”

He looked at me in disbelief

“So you’re dismissing my invitation for a night out so you can jack off? How old are you? 14?” He started laughing

“Is that all Jimmy?” I made sure my voice demonstrated how annoyed I was.

“Yeah, yeah..go ahead Mr. Puberty go do your business...even tho you won’t need to take care of it yourself..” he barely whispered

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, nothing...here I’ll even open the door for you..just so your hands don’t get too tired!” He said mocking me “Milady, please” He bowed down and was now 100% laughing at me

“Fuck you Jimmy” I muttered under my breath closing and locking my locker room door.

I got out of my ring attire faster than a demon from church and made my way to the shower, while I waited for the water to heat up, I begin to stroke myself lazily while I thought about Y/N and the last time we were together. I got under the shower and remembered her body, the way it felt against mine, her breasts and how they are a perfect handful size, how soft her skin is (specially her boobs), how delicate her nipples feel against my lips.

Her sexy love handles,fuck I love those, which is why I don’t really get it why she hates it so much and wants to get rid of them so bad? I love how they feel when I tightly grip them on my hands whenever I’m holding her hips in place while fucking her from behind. My dick got harder just to think about it..Fuck I wish she was here!

I love her ass, I was always a tits lover until I saw that ass! Then I was officially converted into an ass lover. I just love to touch it, grip it, bite it, I love to watch it bounce when she rides me, I love to kiss it, spank it, rub my bulge against it..

*I begin to stroke my cock harder*

And fuck it..I love to fuck her ass.

But not as much as I love to fuck her pussy, nothing compares to the feeling of my cock buried deep inside of her tight pussy, I could cum just by remembering the vision of my dick sliding in and out of that sweet pussy..MY pussy, that belongs to ME! Fuck I just wish she was here, I would eat her out like a mad man.

I love to go down on her, seeing her eyes roll to the back of her head as I hungrily devour her..seeing how she squirms underneath me, moaning..begging for me to fuck her, how incredible she tastes...

But I also love when she sucks my dick.

The sight of her, on her knees, with a mouthful of cock while she looks up to meet my gaze.. FUCK ME isn’t that a beautiful sight?! Her lips all swollen and red from sucking me, her hands stroking my cock while she looks up and give me one of her satisfied smiles..so fucking gorgeous. Even more gorgeous when she chokes on my dick, making me slide all the way down until I hit the back of her throat just so she can pull back, gasping for air, while she giggles amused about how far she had taken.

With all of those sweet memories I came on my hand, giving me some sort of relief (at least for now). But it wasn’t the same thing tho, it wasn’t her and I NEEDED her!

God I love that woman, and I just fucking miss her, I just wish that she was here..

I made my car ride back to the hotel thinking about everything that I missed about her. I missed her scent, her voice, her smile, her hugs, her kisses, the way she likes to stroke my hair to help her sleep, her stealing all of my gray sweatpants just so I couldn’t “advertise” my package to other women, our late night conversations that were sometimes meaningful others meaningless, our make out sessions, lazy morning sex, horror movies marathon, the way she argued with one of the characters and told them they were “so dumb” and she “wished they would just get killed already”, the way she comforted me, the way I comforted her...

I opened the door to my hotel room, dragged myself to the sofa and was so deep in thoughts that I didn’t even noticed that the lights were on.

“Should I come back later?” The voice said in quite an amused tone.

*Wait..I know that voice!*

I turned my head to my left side so I could meet the owner of that voice, the one I had waited 3 long weeks to have by my side again

“Y/N” I couldn’t help but ran towards her, grab her tightly in my arms and kiss her so intensely that she almost couldn’t breath.

“Ro” she giggled “Baby, as much as I love this affectionate side of yours, you’re kinda making it difficult for me to breath” She chuckled

“Sorry, it’s just that I missed you so fucking much! You have no idea what hell I’ve been through those 3 weeks without you” I said as I gave her light pecks all over her lips,neck and face.

“Aww Rome.. I missed you too love! That’s why I decided to make you a surprise come back, everything solved before expected so I didn’t need to be there anymore so I decided to come back to my home,you!” She smiled

“I am your home,just like you’re mine! Those 3 weeks without you were a nightmare!”

“Oh I know! Jimmy told me you were being a little bitch and if I didn’t came back soon he would whoop your ass!” She was laughing uncontrollably

“That fucker...he knew you were coming back today didn’t he?” I asked remembering his little comment about me not needing to jack off at the hotel.

“Yep! He helped me with everything. Why?”

“Oh nothing, it’s just that he asked if I wanted to go out with him somewhere after the show and I declined saying I had other stuff to do”

“Like what?” She asked slightly confused

“Oh you know, like jack off in the shower thinking about you..”

“Did you?” She looked at me with that vixen look on her face

“What do you think baby girl? After our little teasing on the phone, you got me all worked up so I had to think about you while I took care of business with my own hands” Which where now roaming down to grab her ass.

“That sounds fun..why don’t you tell me everything you thought about huh?” She deviously smirked at me

“Oh baby, I might as well just show it to you” With that I picked her up in my arms and made my way towards the bed. I was going to show her everything that went through my mind those 3 weeks.

And fuck,she better be ready, ‘cuz I got all night long..

[dirtyrottenraskel]

my take on yueki's personalities

yue 

notes / personality

cocky (but also like understated confidence - r e g a l af) 

kind of a nerd

maybe a little entitled, and a little bratty and suki loves to indulge her or to rile her up depending on her mood

books

seems soft but made of steel

strong sense of duty

socially intelligent - can be manipulative and suki (the dork) thinks it is so hot 

aloof queen bee typa beat

supportive, both in ur day to day and in going after your big moral life goals 

deep water - steady and powerful, often underestimated

untold depths, private yet surprisingly nurturing - master of deflecting away from herself

political nerd - well read, and when she has someone she trusts not to take advantage of her, she goes OFF 

distrusting of most people, has been used and ignored and underestimated her whole life

patient - homegirl knows how to play the long game

excellent at pai sho / chess 

she and suki have epic battles of wits - dif types of strategy but both are really into it and get a little too competitive (multiple board games have had to be replaced over the years)

loves travel bc wasn’t allowed to much, esp when she was sick 

was super repressed growing up - never let her be herself or really have any sort of independence

used to sneak out and wander around in rebellion and casually sabotage plans and decisions she didn’t agree with 

introverted, many opinions but keeps them to herself, discreet but well spoken

weaponizes secrets and information - doesn’t often use it but...she could

definitlyyyyy worries and overthinks and re-evaluates - worries ab social politics a lot

obsessive about picking things - wants it to be perfect

shes growing into her confidence as a leader

prefers quite intimate places

incredibly romantic

classic lit

planner for the future - visionary

kind / sweet / gentle - yes, but that’s also her “front” to a degree (seriously, i feel like she gets painted as so sweet and submissive and one dimensional by the fandom a lot of times and it freakin kills me)

INFJ-T (The Advocate) ((yes this is from 16p which i know is not super accurate but u can still catch her overall vibes from it ya know)

Creative/insightful/principled/compassionate/altruistic

sensitive/reluctant to open up/perfectionist/prone to burnout/not a fan of the ordinary

friendships / relationships

(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)

sokka - puppy love crushes, laugh ab it now, get into deep late night talks about responsibilities and leading, water tribe culture, prank wars (no one believes sokka when he says yue is a mean prank master (expect suki comes to see it in action lol))

katara - <> badass women friendship, totally would go to matches and protests together, tough girl shit, waterbending practice/duels - start of cautious, but then get rough in a good way bc they trust each other, they do water tribe food adventures together

toph - indulges her chaos, bonding over stupid royal upbringings, odd yet weirdly endearing pair

zuko - both sort of standoffish gay royals, but once they come to see that they are friends - take up similar spaces though, so only hang out in a group or rarely by themselves, they do hang out at like political parties and stuff when they get more comfortable together

aang - <> he has an impressive world view, yue is super studied and well read, so she and aang nerd out over past cultures together, and also their peace keeping nature, they have tea together often - usually after she and katara wipe the floor w/ each other

clothing / aesthetic:

blues and pale colors

classy and understated wealth

like those cute feminine button down shirts

dresses

like cold weather classy

complicated braids

sort of soft girl aesthetic?

pleated skirts !!!

i feel like she would wear ethically sourced fur (i don’t wear fur but idk how to get it in an ethical way - maybe it’s just fake??)

knit sweaters and skinny jeans and heeled ankle boots

light academia !!!

hella funky earrings - to mark her native pride and also cuz gay

from my readings, tattoos have a lot of cultural significance for Inuit women, and so i feel like yue would totally have some (when she comes of age ofc) 

suki

notes / personality 

extroverted 

also very strategic 

more spontaneous tho - will totally calculate the odds in a spilt second in her head and then just go for it

like still a careful planner, but willing to say fuck it, yolo if it seems right 

reflects on her mistakes, but more in like a healthy way - unless it was a leadership mistake, then it eats her up inside - worries more ab keeping her girls safe and making the right call

likes lively places

total bashful romantic

manages the present and the short term - realist

loves to do lists 

a little punch happy - loves to make violent threats, but also does it out of excitement and she’s just a really physical person tbh

steady, can come off as stubborn and abrasive but she really just wants what’s best for everyone she loves

harsh on herself and worries about her girls a lot 

always ends up in the oddest situations 

totally would kick someone’s ass for being racist/sexist/homophobic/etc 

dedicated to her training and her regime 

not a great cook, but she can manage 

would drink monsters 

has a weird relationship with femininity - took her awhile to reconcile strength and toughness and being assertive and aggressive with also wanting to feel pretty and feminine and embracing being a girl and how those things can coincide and amplify each other

abandonment issues - parents absent/dead 

was imprisoned - obvi she had several almost successful escape attempts, but she got really close to breaking 

was incredibly independent really early, grew up really fast and tries to make up for that now by sometimes being reckless 

tough/assertive/woman of action 

dry sense of humor/sarcastic - not good at nickname/pun humor tho

practical/dedicated/strong-willed/direct/honest/reliable/loyal/patient

stubborn/judgmental/difficult to relax/difficulty expressing emotions/too selfless 

friendships / relationships

(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)

sokka - <>  man they’re like platonic soulmates - she beat him up, and now they spar all the time, totally funny and crack jokes all the time, go skating together, they do shitty art together, and then show their lovers after zuko and yue come back from their high society mixers, broke her out of prison, m/f friendship !!! 

katara - also sparring buddies (suki will throw down at any literally moment (and tbh so will katara)), not close but will hang in a group - go to each other for advice 

toph - <> listen these two wreak havoc together, they help each other out a lot, i feel like they’re shopping buddies (similar enough style to frequent the same shops) toph knows suki won’t judge her for wanting to feel pretty and suki knows toph will be honest, they are both blunt sarcastic assholes and get along like a house on fire 

zuko - <> shows zuko how to like,,,enjoy things (and how to let go of some of that pressure to be always right and the adult and in charge bc they were raised with so much responsibility on their shoulders even tho they were just kids)? she is also super protective of him (once she trusts him), one of the only ppl who can match suki fully in hand to hand combat, both do the Disappointed Parent Look when the group falls into chaos, but by themselves, the two of them end up in hijinks

aang- suki enjoys his optimism and they’re just chill bros, they love exploring abandoned placed together 

clothing / aesthetic

sporty and skater mixed 

ripped jeans, crewnecks, vans 

green and yellow and dark red 

gym clothes/athleisure - lifting style gym clothes - cut off t-shirts and bike shorts

skirts too, likes to play into femininity

she’s a gold jewelry kinda girl - but stuff that won’t hinder her movements 

necklaces that end in the hollow of her throat & occasionally rings

definitely cuffs all of her jeans (it’s just bisexual culture ya know)

so many crop tops - some came like that, some were more of a diy project

yueki’s relationship!!!

nerd/jock solidarity 

feel the burden of responsibility and the weight on their shoulders 

they create a safe space between them, full of trust and warmth and vulnerability 

yue will read suki sappy passages from poetry books while suki polishes her fans 

they slow dance in the kitchen a lot 

they get good at ordering takeout - and they have some weird decision making process that only they understand - bc neither of them are great cooks 

yue would feel jealous of suki and sokka, if it weren’t for how stupid in love sokka was with zuko and yue can see that suki really only has eyes for her 

yue is taller than suki and it amuses her to no end to pick suki up and carry her away from a fight (we all know suki could get away if she wanted to, but when ur hot tall sexy gf throws u over her shoulder,,,,,,u don’t complain)

joke they’ve adopted kataang and zukka, bc they’re all dummies, but in reality every last one of them is stupid LMAO 

they love to do each other’s hair and it’s like super intimate and really cute 

sometimes it’s these epic elaborate hairstyles and then at other times, they try to see how many ponytails they can fit on suki’s head and how many little braid yue can do 

they travel EVERYWHERE 

since yue is royalty and suki is her body guard,,,, well i mean, they totally have to see these kingdoms they are doing trade deals with in person 

it helps that they're friends with a lot of them 

they stay over in everything from camping so they can stargaze to ritzy hotels with hot tubs in the bathroom 

yue gives suki rocks she finds on all their travels and suki lines them up on their mantle around the pictures of them in increasingly weird locations 

suki loves guarding yue’s meetings bc she gets to watch her absolutely rip a new one into misogynistic old men and it never fails to bring her joy 

While yue doesn’t love getting attacked, the ruthless efficiency suki defends her with is like,,,,,stupid attractive 

[normal-thoughts-official]

When/how do you think Ragnor and Catrina realized camille was being abusive towards Magnus?

Btw, I love u❤

fantastic question anon, i love YOU! i think that depends on a couple of factors. i think people who have already been or know people who have been in an abusive relationship are more likely to notice the warning signs, and/or to interpret stuff like the person pulling away as a sign of abuse. whereas people who haven't lived through it and aren't informed on it might not even realize what's going on until before it's over, and even be angry

so because we live in a hell world and catarina is a black woman, i think she is more likely to notice the warning signs than ragnor is, because black women are more likely to be in abusive relationships than white men. i'm not saying catarina herself has been in an abusive relationship necessarily but presumably her family has plenty of black women and she's also more likely to also be friends with other woc and marginalized ppl than ragnor is because again, hell world. so she has a higher chance of having been in a similar position before, although of course that's no set in stone rule and ragnor's circle of friends does seem to have a lot of marginalized ppl (and i hc him as aroace which makes him queer which puts him in an entirely different position than a straight white man and probably means something about the relationships he builds, but anyway) BUT my point is, i think catarina is more likely to notice earlier

i think ragnor is pretty perceptive tho, and also that they are pretty close and talk a lot, so i think once catarina noticed she would have talked to ragnor, and it wouldn't take ragnor long to realize that she was right

so okay when would they notice? i think that's always a slow process but i'm pretty sure their suspicions would first arise when magnus started to ditch them and stuff like parties and outings because of camille. first of all, i don't think that's like magnus at all, and second of all, there is an obvious difference between "i'm in the honeymoon phase" and "sorry, i don't think it's a good idea, my partner might not like it" or even "yeah! that sounds great!... just let me ask my partner about it". big difference

so that already has catarina in particular very wary of her because magnus is not the kind to ditch his friends because of a partner and the way he's acting about this is weird. so, she decides to keep an eye and maybe even put this to the test by making a surprise visit and invite him to a party like, right then doijadiosaj and she takes him out and she notices that magnus is Out Of It and he seems even a little... tense and scared and almost paranoid. and like, this is relatively at the beginning of their relationship so she wouldn't have been Horrible about it yet but at the beginning the person expresses enough control and discomfort with these things for you to be kind of uncomfortable even if you don't really realize that it's because you're Scared Of Hurting Your Parner

so THAT gets catarina really worried, because if magnus can't relax because he's afraid of camille's reaction, and worse, if he doesn't REALIZE that's why, that's the reddest a flag can get in such an early stage of their relationship. she tries to talk to magnus about it but magnus is the king of deflecting and basically waves her worries off. which just makes her more worried, but what is she supposed to do? she knows that pushing will only makes things worse and make it easier for camille to turn magnus against her and cut their ties. so, she lets it go and pretends that she buys his excuses. that's probably when she also talks to ragnor. ragnor probably had noticed that something was off but he hadn't really thought that it would be something super bad, and i think he'd still have his doubts about it, but well, he has that on the back of his mind now. and besides, he trusts catarina's judgement and he can admit when she is more qualified than him to assess something. it's why their relationship works

the first time they say anything is probably when magnus tells him about some fight they've had. probably because magnus told camille that he was upset about something she did - like idk, making fun of him in public about a topic that's sensitive to him. and like magnus wasn't even mad at her, he had never mentioned that whatever joke she made was off limits or related to a sensitive topic, he just wanted to communicate and let her know that it had hurt him, and she pretty much Exploded at him. and somehow turned it all around so it was magnus' fault for accusing her of trying to hurt him on purpose when that's not what magnus did, and now magnus pretty much wanted advice on how to apologize and let her know that he loves her

so catarina and ragnor try to subtly poke holes in her logic and show him that he has nothing to apologize for, without straight up being like "she's manipulating you" because Kids, That Does Not Go Well. and it makes magnus... heartbreakingly confused in that way abused people get when the logic they have been being shoved under shows cracks that would mean something too awful to even imagine

and catarina is a fucking wreck because at this point, she is sure of it and it makes her relive... so much trauma of other people she's seen go through that and lost and/or her own relationships if you want to go with that. and she doesn't want to lose magnus or have magnus go through that but she doesn't know what to do and she KNOWS that next step is magnus pulling away from her and ragnor no matter how careful she is

she probably gets the rare Comforting Hug from ragnor once magnus leaves and she also talks to dot and maybe elias? you know, their other friends. and they have a Catarina Comforting Day and hear her stories and cuddle and you know, try to make her feel better. and eventually they try to devise some kind of game plan so they can try to help magnus get out of this

it all goes to shit of course when they have the rare outing with camille, and camille is Obviously Refusing To Interact With Them If She Can Avoid It which is classic abuse thing - sure, i'll go see your friends, but you have to choose between interacting with them and me, so really you don't actually get to see with your friends because you'll feel bad that i'm isolated and eventually seeing your friends will feel either pointless or nervewracking cuz it feels like juggling your relationships. and if you want to see them without me i am going to act like you have something to hide and i'm a victim

anyway! so they notice that and they try to undermine that tactic by, you know, interacting with her a lot. so camille switches it up and tries to pick up a fight, and lo and behold, she succeeds - i know ragnor doesn't look like the kind of guy who loses his temper easily but i think when you push his buttons he is VERY bad at hiding it and half a snappy comment is all camille needs to lash out at him and play the victim. she's good

so that's when their plan gets fucked and everything goes to hell because then it's just too easy for camille to isolate magnus from his friends with really just a few tweaks to the previous tactic i mentioned - "are you really picking them over me, magnus? you're gonna keep hanging out with them when they are so rude to me, probably tell you all sorts of things about me, try to get you to break up with me? can't you see how manipulative they are? how they're trying to turn you against me? why do you insist so much on seeing them when you know how much that hurts me?"

and done

catarina and ragnor probably fight after that because god DAMN it, she fucking tOLD him that they had to be careful! and she's been swallowing all kinds of shitty comments from her but ragnor just had to fucking lose it at the first provocation, didn't he? and god knows how long it'd take for them to reach him after that, because camille is already preemptively making him think that they are trying to manipulate him to break up with her out of jealousy so he won't listen to anything they say directly. and she's right, of course, and ragnor is out of his depth and doesn't UNDERSTAND how these things go and how much this slip up will affect them in the future

i like to think that ragnor apologizes to her and catarina probably... has a breakdown because fuck she is worried and she is reliving way too many nightmares here. and ragnor is actually very tender and hugs her and apologizes and kisses her forehead and tells her that he's going to fix it. and he actually swallows his pride and apologizes to camille just to try and turn this thing around, but, well. the damage is done. and really, there is only so much friends can do when dealing with something like this. at the end of the day, they did all they could

and from then on they try their best to be there for him and pull magnus out of the camille-created isolation, but there's only so much they can do, and it's up to magnus to notice and get help to get rid with her. they'll always try to be his support system, but well. it's hard

and of course eventually magnus does get rid of her claws and catarina, ragnor, dot, elias etc., are all there for him when he does. and he probably feels guilty because he pushed them away but really they are just so RELIEVED that he's finally free of her. and him and catarina probably get a teary hug full of apologies for things that aren't their fault, and they try to make up for lost time by spending as much time as possible together now. especially because i think that it also hurts catarina to have her friends pull away - she obviously yearns for family, for closeness, i don't think she does well with people pulling away from her, she wants the kind of closeness that comes from routine and she used to have that with magnus and the rest of the immortal squad, you know? and magnus knows that, so, he tries to compensate

and eventually they start to heal their relationships, but magnus still has a long way to heal himself, but well. he'll get there. they are together and all

[springfieldblues]

my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

[twilightofthe]

ON “DAVEGATE”

Ohhhhhh BOY so I was behind on the Mando docuseries so I had been staying out of all the “Davegate” stuff cuz I didn’t know context or what exactly Filoni said and I just saw the second ep where he says the thing about the overarching theme of SW and....... ohhhhh boy, yeah, now I get why some people were like hmmmmmm about what he said 😂

Like uhhhhhh I’m very sorry mr. Dave I understand you have been working with SW for a Very long time and all, but how did you get “Anakin has daddy issues” as the theme of the prequels and Star Wars in general?!?!??

I mean, I’m just a humble fan, but I’ve never seen ANY portrayals of Anakin in SW media that imply he’s looking for a father or needs a father to make things better like? It never seemed to bother him, if anything, I feel like his past as a slave and working under Watto and dealing with the other adult racers and stuff makes him more disagreeable to the idea of a firm paternal authority figure telling him what to do. Like I agree with Dave that Qui Gon would have taken a more parental role with Anakin and that Obi Wan didn’t take a parental role at all, but I DEFINITELY don’t agree that it necessarily would have made things better or basically anything else on Dave’s (imho) ice-cold take on Obi Wan and how much he really cares

I mean, Anakin’s complicated relationship with authority in general is a whole ‘nother discussion on how while he simultaneously chafes against authority and is all about his own independence, but at the same time gravitates toward confident, intelligent, authoritative figures who he knows he can rely on to make difficult decisions and trusts to make the world make sense— or at least make sense the way he thinks it should be (and yes here I mean Obi Wan, Padmé, and Palpatine, in different ways). He’s a pleaser at heart, he wants to make the people he cares about happy with him because if he’s received validation from one he respects that means he’s done something Good because these authority figures he approves of are the examples of right and good in his world, so that means he’s fine to follow their direction because he trusts them.

Anakin did find a father figure in the prequels and as Dave said, it’s not Obi Wan (and that’s NOT a bad thing), the problem is it’s fucking Palpatine. Qui Gon was the wise, experienced older man who first saw potential in him and praised him. Yeah he might have started to see him as a father figure, maybe, we don’t have enough time. It’s enough for him to get to like the idea tho and start making a box in his head for “people who make the world make sense”= “people like Qui Gon”. Then, with Qui Gon dead, Anakin still has that now empty spot in his mind and immediately comes across another wise, experienced older man who first saw potential in him and praised him. Of course he’s gonna latch onto Palps as a new sort of father figure, because who else does he have? Obi Wan?

Nah, Obi Wan, he kinda recognizes as another who’s a little scared, a little lost, a little uncertain soul like himself. He’s gonna see Obi Wan as someone different because “you’re like me, you’re figuring this out as you go too”. Obi Wan doesnt become his father figure because right away there’s too much similarity between them, it puts them onto more of an equal level, they’re more a team figuring stuff out and rolling with the punches. He respects Obi Wan immensely and considers him another one of those people he would follow, but Obi Wan hasn’t gained his respect through insta-father impression, Obi Wan has gained his respect because Anakin has seen Obi Wan grow and mature along with his own apprenticeship, he’s watched Obi Wan be tested and prove himself time after time again. Anakin looks up to and respects Obi Wan and his authority because he knows Obi Wan, and knows just exactly how good he is. Obi Wan isn’t Anakin’s father. He’s his example, his challenge he’s always striving to meet, his hopeful equal, and arguably who he sees as his better half as much as he’s frustrated by him sometimes.

Anakin has plenty of authority figures in his life willing and offering to guide him, he doesn’t suffer from the lack of a father, and that’s not why he makes the choices he does. Anakin HAS a father figure throughout the prequels, that father figure just happens to be a fucking Sith Lord who guides him the wrong way.

If Qui Gon survived, I think Anakin would have turned out differently because Qui Gon would have filled that father figure role Palpatine had had, and that would have influenced him differently as well as the loss of Obi Wan as his Master would have. Does that make him “better” or less likely to fall? No, because Darth Sidious ABSOLUTELY would have still forced his way into Anakin’s life regardless. Anakin has a big heart, all it would take would be one time for Sheevy to make an impact on him and then suddenly Palps is right back corrupting him again, and I don’t think Qui Gon’s presence alone could stop it. In fact, it might make things worse as Obi Wan might not be as involved in Anakin’s life in this scenario, and Obi Wan played a HUGE role in keeping Anakin in the Light, or should I say making Anakin want to stay in the Light becaus HIS FALL WAS HIS OWN FUCKING CHOICE AND FAULT, NOT THE ORDER’S.

So yeah that was my spiel on Anakin tryna debunk the “daddy issues” theory, sorry Dave, I just can’t agree.

I don’t even have the energy to explain just why I’m like “uhhhhh nO?” about Dave’s take regarding the Jedi Order vs Qui Gon or his take on Obi Wan’s feelings regarding Anakin and why I highkey disagree, but other ppl have made better posts on that regardless lol

[queer-as-frikc]

My coming out story is weird, it gets a lil transphobic so tw near the end tw long post too

So, pretty much throughout my time growing up through elementary school and half of middle school, i grew up in a white middle class area. I didnt know about the LGBTQ+ or anything other than what I saw, which was white people and an occasional poc. Eventually I had to move and I ended up in a super diverse area, and ended up becoming best friends with this person (they are ftm now so imma use the right pronouns but they were f when this story mostly takes place) he told me all about things I didnt know, specifically the LGBTQ+ community and that he was pan, and it was new information so just like any 13 year old learning new things, I questioned myself, I questioned if I could like the same sex or not or possibly more.

Sadly, drama happened between my best friend, his girlfriend and I, so thing got a little weird. But there was a time in winter, when he was off that relationship for more than a month and he said he'd like to date me, and I really thought about it before hand and said yeah, I couldnt tell you how happy I was to have this experience.

I told my mom that night, in a round about way cuz I was nervous, "Hey mom, what if I liked girls?" She told me she doesnt think that I do, because I always expressed feelings for guys, and when I tell her I didnt really understand what being gay was when I was younger, I didn't really know it was a possibility. She snapped at me and said, "Unless you are willing to kiss a girl and do the other stuff, you arent gay at all."

Eventually I have a sit down conversation with her, about how confusing this all was and how I wish I knew how I felt, and so on. She said she had a similar questioning phase but it never stuck so she doesnt think I am.

Like a month later I figure it out and dude that was so gratifying. I came out as bi to my mom, who just dismissed the whole thing, but I was terrified to tell my uncle (it's a long story about that, no it's not "sweet home Alabama") because he always said bi's were wh*res so yeah. I ended up telling him, and he goes, "You know my opinion on it but that doesnt mean that I'll disown you or anything." Btw the relationship (dating wise) with my best friend after he came out as ftm because he went back to his ex, it's all cool tho.

So that was that, or so I thought. It was my first year of high school, and I finally really understood the definition of pan, what was holding me back though was the trans experience, I thought because I didnt know what it was like, I couldnt be pan, even though I didnt have a preference, turns out it just means you like people no matter their gender and it like, clicked finally so yeah. I've told my family about that since but I a similar reaction: my mom said she doesnt think I am and she lectured me on my generation having so many labels and how she hated it. My uncle said he appreciated that I was pan more than me being bi which confused me but he just had a better view of pansexual than bisexual. (I explained to both of them what the difference was but idk man)

I believe it was my second year of high school when I really started to question my gender, and that was mostly because I saw a video of what gender dysphoria looks like if it's not that strong and you arent aware for ftm. So like wearing bagging clothes all the time, always wearing sports bras, and practically no other bra, feeling really good if someone accidentally calls you sir, etc. And I was like, oml it's me. But it wasnt, I didnt find that out until later tho. So, with my friend group, I find a name that seems to fit me well and ask them to address me by it and he/him pronouns, as like a test of sorts. (All of my friends are gay in some way so it was cool) In the end tho, I got a little iffy about the whole thing and wouldnt ever correct them at times or it was just off for me. I felt really bad because I thought that they might have thought that I was just trying to force myself to be more like them, but I wasnt, i still felt bad though and kinda dropped it.

I'm not sure 100% how I figured it out tho, but I remember talking to my best friend (not the same one from middle school, they were my best friend as well but they arent the same person) about the whole experience and I believe they brought up the idea of genderfulid, and I was like :0.... what that. They explain it, you go aall over the gender spectrum, some days you might feel like a boy, others you might feel like you have no gender, some days you might feel like your gender is something completely weird and different, that's just what it is. And I was like, "It fits but like, I barely feel femme at any point in time, maybe like once a year." And they tell me, that's ok and stuff as long as my gender just decides to be a completely weird and went all over the place, it counted, so I was like, "I finally figured it out!!!" And i was so happy.

Then came the time I was comfortable enough to tell my parents. I had been using the label genderfuild for over half a year already and I thought that it was what I was so it was ok to tell them. I saw how ok me being gay went, so I was nervous but not as nervous as I should have been, probably. I told my mom first, she went on a similar rant of her no liking my generations labels and such, but it went fine, I explained it, I thought I was through, I thought I was fine, apparently not. One day I'm in the shower and I hear my mom being very expressive with what ever shes talking about to my uncle, which is fine, she needs someone to vent to sometimes. When I get out though, and I can here her clearly, I hear sees complaining about what I told her recently, that I'm genderfulid, but instead of saying that, she only says I want to be a boy. (Oh no) So shes complaining to him, asking why I cant be more like her and just be a masculine girl and be fine, why do I have to fit in with the crowd of my generation to feel special, why cant I just be fine with who I am now? Etc.

The sad thing is, that night, I was going out shopping for pants and underwear with my uncle because I needed some and I wore men's pants already at that point, because they are more durable, and stuff so I knew it was gonna be a long ride. My mom was snippy with me that whole night, just the entire time which sucked.

When we finally left to go get clothes though, I didnt know it could get worse. My uncle lectured me about how that's just my generations fad, and how his was making tattoos and piercings ok in the work place and mine is being trans a gay and all that crap, and that I'm just trying to fit in, I'm not being myself, no matter how much I chop myself up and cut my hair and take hormones my chromosomes will never change and so I can never be an actual guy. He also said that I would bring just more attention to myself being a woman who does guy things rather than try and be one, and he thinks I'm doing this all for attention. I was mad but silent at this point, I didnt want to cause anything to happen. He ended up asking me, "So did you pick a different name?" I was surprised but I said yeah, and my friends were using it and it seemed to fit better. He asked me what it was and fear over took my body. I told him, "I'll only tell you if you dont use it against me if your mad." He says, "i cant promise that." And then gets mad because I wont tell him. Though I do, because I feel obligated since hes buying me clothes. To be even more confusing, he buys me guys underwear, and undershirts along with the predetermined pants he promised me and now I'm so confused.

But it gets even worse. When we get home, my mom freaks out on him because be bought me all that mens stuff and she said he was encouraging my behavior and stuff, he defended with it's just clothes, and yah it is. Eventually things settle down, obviously my mom isnt talking to be, but that's for the best at this point. I'm in the living room with my uncle and he just then starts harassing me with questions like, how do you know? he asks. "Well, I just feel that way, same as you." I say. But why do you wanna be a guy? he asks. "I dont wanna be a guy, it's just weird that way. Also it's not me being a guy, it me being many more than that," I say. He says that's bullsh*t. I offer to show him videos that better explain what trans is and how it's an actual sciencey thing and stuff but he said he wont take a video because he wants me to say it. And then he just goes off, saying the name I picked out shows how self centered I am because I am selfish, he kept asking me if i liked to fight, to catch and play with bugs, to be strong, to be angry all the time, and all these stereotypes for men and I just left, and went to bed. He wasnt going to listen to me, so there wasnt a point to me staying.

But, it gets worse. The morning comes and I'm awoken by the slam of my door by my uncle and the laughter of my mom. My uncle starts being really aggressive and starts cleaning my room, I only have clothes on the floor mostly so that's all it was, but he starts saying, well if you're gonna be a man, imma start training you like one, the man of the house picks up after everyone, the man of the house does everything he can to help the house run smoothly, the man of the house has to be strong, and all that stuff. (Which I thought was funny because he was "the man of the house" yet I did everything, and still do. I clean up most after him, funny huh.) And, I know what's happening and so I stay in bed, I don't want this to happen. But I literally get ripped out of my bed by my uncle and get told to stop being a little b*tch and a brat because I'm being selfish by my mom and I'm yelled at to sit in the living room and wait while my uncle cleans my room. When hes done hes starts lecturing me and being all aggressive and in my face. He keeps asking me a million questions with the tone that he didnt care so I knew he wouldn't listen. Eventually, him and my mom leave, I'm told to stay there until I get back. When they do get back, they act like everything is fine, nothing happened between them and I and it's just been so hard for me to talk to them about that since.

I'm greatful that I dont have to deal with that anymore but every time something that that is brought up with my family, I panic so much now. I'm fine and I'm safe but it was very traumatic for me. And uh, thanks for listening.

hey, thank you so much for sharing your story. this was just. so heartbreaking. noone deserves to have a person like your uncle in their life. im so sorry you had to go through all of that. i hope you’re in a much better place now <3 (also i loveeddd reading about how you figured it out) =)

again, tysm <3

[bright-eyed]

Hi, I’ve been loving your blog recently and I saw in your reading list you have Women who run with the wolves and I have tried to read it but I always feel not ready. I have this longing to be wild, crazy, passionate, intense. But instead I’m lukewarm, I overthink. I think I’m too identified with myself if that makes sense, do you have some words of advice or something?

Helloo! Very extremely sweet of you to say this. Tbh I thought about this question for a long time, as I was unsure whether I really had anything of value to offer you. When I first read this ask my first response was to laugh because the thought that any person would ask me for advice about anything is super funny. I was like “oh that’s just so adorable.” And then I started writing a response and while I had a whole lot to say I don’t know how much of what I said will be helpful to you. But I hope it is! So here goes…

Maybe what would help you to figure your own situation out is for me to tell you what changed for me. So to start, I should say that I have literally felt the same way about this book for years. It was a book I had read a portion of the way through when I was like 17 that I thought about picking up again more often than I thought about picking up any other book, until now when I’ve decided to do it, almost 6 years later. I never really felt like it was time for me to read it. Partly because it was, for me, one of those books where I could only get through a page or two before I had to set it down and like cry/laugh/lay on the floor and rethink my entire existence/realize I’m still in my wolf girl phase/etc. It was also partly because it felt too intense to handle, as fragile as I felt at this point in my life (late teens/early twenties). And what stopped me, I suppose, was that I believed myself to be fragile. I believed myself to be unready. I believed myself to be bound by what I was, following rules I couldn’t understand but nonetheless acquiesced to, as most people do.

I like what you said abt feeling too identified with yourself. I used to talk about identity and ~the self~ a lot on this blog (tho not with any sort of point or like… clarity or eloquence) and that years-long thought process/public argument with myself basically led me to the conclusion that I am not necessarily anything in particular. Or that it’s not as important what I “am” as it is what I do and make and believe and all that stuff. I talked about that wrt sexuality the other day, but it applies to other parts of my life too. I used to take for granted all that I was and because of that I never thought very seriously about making myself and my life into what I wanted it to be. I was a victim of the circumstances of my life, and I had certain characteristics that I believed I was born with and believed I must die with that would prevent me from ever changing that. For some reason who knows but that’s just what I believed

And then I got to the point in my life where my circumstances could no longer be tolerated, and thus my identity/my self, the self that I had been so loyal and obedient to for so long, could no longer be tolerated either. So the idea of an ephemeral self and the propensity for transformation became less of a theoretical argument I endlessly considered because I evidently enjoy driving myself crazy with unanswerable questions, and more of a guiding light that I decided to follow hoping it would lead me to a place more tolerable, where I liked my life and myself more, or maybe even followed my dreams of who I wanted to be in this world. It became a focal point in my life. Cuz it was then like my only way out of the hell that my apathy had made my life over the course of years. And it really is just as hard as crawling out of the Underworld. I don’t really know if I’m doing it or if I’m just fooling myself. But the act of trying has been enough to change so much of my life. I am open to change, and thus to the whole universe, in a way I wasn’t before. And because transformation was (and still is…) this urgent matter that I need to complete before I go crazy, it is less and less important if something happens at the right time, and more and more important that anything happens at all. I want to always be moving in some vaguely forward direction.

And like… the truth is that there are no natural laws of what we must be. This is uncomfortable for most people to hear, and salvation for some others to realize. Perhaps everyone has certain predilections, or maybe we all have destinies or something that guide us into certain well-worn paths, and this very quickly becomes who we are and how we conceive of ourselves. But by the laws of human nature as I understand them (which, disclaimer, is not an excessive amount), there is very little to say you cannot be what you want to be. If you can realistically imagine it, if it is something that anyone else is capable of being, I think it’s possible for you to become it. It’s not easy to change, just like it’s not easy to make your way out of the Underworld or Plato’s cave or IKEA, but with the right tools, it’s possible. It’s a skill you learn, like learning to walk. But you shoot yourself in the foot when you have any loyalty to fixed identity, to rules of yourself that you must follow, to essentialism, to anything but your own will and feelings and dreams and imagination. And imagining is usually the part people can’t get past. I think once you get past it you’ve got a good chance.

We are not doomed. Who says we are doomed? Who says you must be lukewarm? Who says you must overthink, just because that’s what you’ve always done? Who says you cannot be passionate? Intense? Wild? Crazy? If I didn’t say it and no other person said it and the universe didn’t say it and no gods said it, then the only person left to decide is you. And it’s something that you, as the determiner of who you are, get to decide every day. Sometimes, in my experience, multiple times a day. I’m sure there are many arguments and philosophies centered around how much a person can reasonably change, but I don’t really care. If it were impossible to transform, we probably never would have thought to argue about it. The fact that it’s considered a possibility worth arguing against makes it real. And how exactly you as an individual change from what you have been to what you will be is an individual matter that I am utterly unable to work out for you, but as it seems possible for me I think it’s possible for you too.

But I also need to say this: when we change, and I mean like truly change, we risk losing almost everything we have. We risk our positions in our communities or in our families, who might reject us for what we become, or misunderstand us as our new selves and attempt to supplant us with our old selves, alienating us from them and all that we know. We risk our belongings, what we consider important to us, sometimes because we have it taken away or lose it somehow, and other times because after we change we may no longer consider those things important or be able to find the solace in them that we once did. We risk our mental health, even when we make changes that eventually benefit our mental health, because plunging into the depths of ourselves and molding a new self from the dark matter we find there is one of the most noble, difficult, and terrifying feats a human being can undertake. We risk safety, security, stability, which give us firm footing in our worlds, inner and outer.

When we change, we don’t walk, step by step, into a new self. We do walk until we reach an edge, we build our strength, but then we have to jump. We can’t rely on the ground we always took for granted, or the planet we’re used to living on. We jump through a darkness, and if we make it through to another world, we learn to live again.

It takes an enormous amount of effort, and quite some time. Maybe for some people it’s a bit easier, like it depends on how open you are to change or something, or maybe how introspective and self-aware you have been with yourself in the past, how practiced or good you are at that. But for everyone, there are these things you must have: a deep understanding of what you are now, a strong idea of what you could be/want to be/will be, a resolute will to change, a perseverance to see it through and to defeat all obstacles, and a confidence that, no matter what, you will be okay. Because while we can lose almost everything, we can’t lose our will to be. We adapt and survive and find ourselves when we hold on to our will to be.

And I really think you can become this person you describe if that’s what you want. I really don’t know if this want to change was that deep to you or if I could have just gotten away with saying that and you can be anything you can dream insert barbie princess movie quote here… but I hope this was helpful lol

And it is not my place to tell you for certain what you should do with your life. I trust u to make that decision for yourself. I also don’t trust myself to make that decision for you cuz idk your life… but I think we should always be open to experience. And there will never be a right time in the future or the past to do anything, because really the only time we have is the present. It’s the only thing that’s real. So you should do what you think is right for you, but you don’t need to wait for permission to be the person you want to be or do the things you want to do. You already know what you want and need and you don’t need to deny yourself those things until someone or something else tells you you can have them or you prove it somehow. I think really you just need to give yourself permission.

I sound like knockoff askpolly 😭😭🤐

Thanks for reading! Hope you have a good day <3

- Kenna

[charmspoint]

fr tho hmmm, ok since ur bingeing alot of anime lately, top 5 anime youve watched recently (u can include ongoing stuff if u want ily)

For this ask meme

I havent binged that much anime recently ;;; Just a few, a lil few.

Long list with pictures ahead, this is not list by quality but by joy factor

5. Jujutsu Kaisen

It’s weird that the anime I’ve been talking about the most is so low on the list but that’s mainly because I’m mostly hyperfocused on the manga rn. The arc the anime is in rn is where I got really invested when I was reading the manga and it only got better since then, would probs rank very high in my fav manga list rn. I’m feral for the next season and I would like to know when it’s coming out hehe~

4. My Next Life as a Villainess 

Catarina vs my exam slump, who will win? The answer may surprise you.

This show brought so much happiness in my life when I needed it the most, I just enjoyed it a whole lot and on a few occasions it even made me laugh at loud. Catarina is a fucking dumbass but in a way that makes her lovable instead of frustrating...or at least lovably frustrating lmao! And I’ve already said my peace on the rest of the cast. The only way it could be better is if it went gay all the way 

3. Skate the infinity 

Can you imagine that I almost didn’t watch this anime? The only reason I started it because I looked at the op cuz ‘skating anime is bound to have some good tunes’ (it has), but truth to be told from the amount of it I see on my dash I would have probably got into it anime. I love these characters (except Adam but Adam falls straight into the sort of villain trope I dislike the most so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) But honestly has some of the best and most lovable characters these season and Reki’s arc is goddamn heartbreaking to watch. This is the kind of show with a beating heart you know, I love it.

2. Dr Stone

Funny how I watched this after you complained endlessly about it and then ended up enjoying it so much. I’m not much of a science buff and there are times I just zone out when Senku is explaining shit but as I’ve said countless times before it’s the characters that make or break the show for me and I love every single one. I just like how full of passion it is and how obvious it is that this is the author just nerding out. Senku is very interesting protagonist because he wasn’t supposed to be the protagonist at all and it’s great how passionate he can be while completely avoiding the passionate shonen youth trope. Also I ranted to you constantly about how nice is to see a character with who has such a prominent way of showing love exclusively by his actions. Also the emotional moments hit so hard despite it being a nerd out show. Also just Gen, as a concept. This show feels like someone is constantly ranting to you about the thing they are passionate about and as someone who loves to listen to ppl rant about things they love, it’s just great. Also I get to share in with something you really like and that always makes it better <3

1. Talentless Nana

Didn’t we calculate that I finished the entire anime and then the manga start to finish in two days flat?

Yeah I think that says it all.

Nana turned out to be such a niche show and it really deserves more. I’ve seen people compare it to Death Note but it’s really not like Death Note when you get past the cat and mouse game that isn’t even it’s core more like a bait to lure you in to the real thing. Like this isn’t a show that is going to vow you with it’s mindgames but I do like it better than Death Note just because it has infinently more interesting and lovable characters and Nana could kick Lights ass any day. Nana has bits of BNHA in it and bits of Death Note in it but what it’s really about for me is abuse and how it can break and remold a person and how hard it’s to get out of it and start acting against what you’ve been conditioned to believe is the right thing, no matter how much you want to do better. That message is more thoroughly explored in the manga though and since it ended up so niche I doubt we’ll be getting second season ;-; But damn don’t I love Nana’s arc. She makes for an amazing protagonist that you just love despite everything she does and then you start to understand her better and how she ended up like this and you just really want to root for her to figure out what happened. And when she does it’s not an instant switch, she doesn’t immediately go ‘oh ok i know what teh good is now ill do that’. It’s a struggle to go against what she’s been taught to believe, it’s a struggle to turn her back on the only safe person she knows in her life (who is very very abusive but abusers can still be safe places that’s why abuse is so hard to leave) and try to join in with people who are very likely to refuse her just because she knows that’s the right thing to do. Watching Nana go from mindless drone to a girl struggling to leave an abusive situation and make up for all the wrongs she did is just amazing. One day I wanna go through the manga and detailly document Nana’s journey. I hope she finds stability soon my girl ;-; 

This has turned into a Talentless Nana rant but I just love how seriously the story takes the topic of abuse, how much it can impact you, your actions and your view of the world and how hard it is to leave. How much easier it would be for Nana to just stay where she is and ignore everything despite knowing leaving would be the best choice. Recently the manga updated with a chapter on Moe and it showed so well how much abuse can impact and persist even when a child is in a safe situation and ;-; MOE I’M SORRY I SAID I DONT LIKE YOU AAAA. 

Anyway if anyone aside from Peter made it to the end of the list uhhh read Talentless Nana, it’s really good and I would like more please

[zeni-chu]

For the Halloween season, can I ask for headcanons or little scenarios about the Pillars you write for (if that's too many characters, feel free to drop some!) doing Halloweenie things with their s/o? Like scary movies, telling scary stories, doing haunted houses, giving out candy, dressing up, etc?

Hi hi, thanks so much for the request!! This is so cute ;-; also I’m assuming this is a Modern AU!

The Pillars doing Halloween Stuff w/ Their S/O

Modern AU

Shinobu:

I feel like Shinobu would be THE BEST to spend Halloween with, she’s the Queen of Halloween on god

She’s the one that’s like “October 1st? You know what that means ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)” and instantly her house is covered in fake spider webs and all kinds of Halloween decorations

And I don’t mean like, subtle decorations. I’m talkin smoke machines, flashing lights, those motion sensor decorations that pop out of a bush and scare you type decorations

She takes her decoration seriously

She’s the kind of gf that will absolutely make you watch Horror movies with her, even if you’re the only one scared of em 😔😔 (also would only eat kettle corn during the movie, never regular popcorn)

She’d dress up as a witch and sit outside next to the door with a bowl of candy looking all innocent,,, but when the kids come up to get candy fucking Giyuu steps out of the bush behind em dressed in a Ghillie Suit 😭😭 (yes this happened to be as a child and I’m still traumatized)

Does Giyuu want to be there? No. Did she tell him if he did it people would like him? Yes.

She’d also eat a few pieces of the candy from the bowl, she can’t help it!!

I think she likes sour candy more than sweets or chocolate, I just get that vibe from her tbh

Wouldn’t make u dress up with her if u didn’t want to but it would definitely make her super happy if u did

At the end of the night after turning off the lights, she’d take off her Witch Hat and turn to you, wrapping her arms around ur waist and pulling you in for a smooch

She tastes like sour candy 🍭 but it’s oh-so-delicious..

Giyuu:

(My phone died while typing his and I lost everything I typed 😭😭😭)

This man... is a mf dingus

He doesn’t understand why everyone loves Halloween so much

He doesn’t understand why everyone loves to dress up

He just sees it as any other day

But he’d help you decorate anyways 😊

Nothing super crazy or extravagant, most likely just a couple fake skeletons and grave stones, the usual stuff

Would definitely give in to dressing up with you if you asked tho

Would prob just chill next to u as u hand out candy, admiring you while you’re looking away; also would take over handing out candy if u had to step away for some reason

He’s rly awkward and stiff but he tries his best cuz he wants to be involved in things u enjoy

Even tho he doesn’t rly get why everyone loves it so much, I feel like being around u during it would definitely warm him up to it a bit

I also feel like he’s definitely one of the few that would actually prefer to stay inside with you rather than going out to haunted houses or trick or treating or anything

Watching scary movies? Yes pls he loves them

Low key would make him super happy if you clung to him during jump scares or scary parts of a movie bc he loves that he can make you feel safe and protected

I don’t rly see him as a person that loves sweets a whole lot but if u saved some candy for him he’d absolutely eat it

The night would end with the two of u curled up on the couch with the cheesy horror movie fading into the background as you sleep soundly with your head on his lap, and with his hand resting on your head since he fell asleep running his fingers through your hair (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵)

Kyojuro:

THIS MAN!!

IS SO MUCH FUN

He’d be SO excited to dress up with u and take u out to festivals and haunted houses and parties

But also really wants to go trick or treating with u!! So he’s rly torn on what u guys should do :(

Would 100% drag you all over the place to do EVERYTHING if he could

Eventually settles for Haunted House and Trick or Treating!

Inside the Haunted House, obviously this man is not scared at all like c’mon

You however are clinging to him for dear life, which he doesn’t mind at all ;) he also likes to be your protector and comfort, it gives him a sense of pride, like “Thats me! I’m why they feel safer rn!”

Would also probably end up carrying you out of the Haunted House depending on how scared u got 😔 once again he’s happy to :))

Trick or Treating w/ him would be. So fun.

Y’all would trick or treat until you’ve hit every single house. Literally every single one

The whole night is filled with laughter and happiness and soft gazes cast towards each other when yall look away

You eventually end up coming home with two bags of candy each holy damn

I see him as a chocolate lover, he dislikes candy

You’d both sit down and heave a sigh after your long night of running around and toss the bags onto the table to begin sorting through your loot hehe

He picks out the chocolate sweets and you keep the candies while the two of you chat and simply enjoy each other’s presence

Ofc he’d share his chocolate treats with u if you asked!! Anything for his bby

The night would end with the two of you laughing as you talk about how much fun you had while sorting through your candies, finding nothing but contentment and love in each other’s eyes 🥺

Mitsuri:

This gal is also a lot of fun!!

She’d definitely want to go trick or treating with u!! But she’d also want to get into the spooky spirit and tell scary stories and watch scary movies

She’d be the most scared of the stories and movies tbh 😔✊

Would hide her face in your arms or chest during scary parts of the stories or movies and instantly almost die of embarrassment

She loves loves loves spending time with you omg she’s so clingy and sweet

Wouldn’t start eating the candy she got from trick or treating without you in case you wanted any of hers! Because what if she got some candy you liked but didn’t get?

She’d try to sit thru the scary movies with u but would probably want to change movies halfway thru she’d feel so bad abt it tho

She may be a demon slayer but she still gets scared sometimes!! She’s a badass but still so soft 😭

After stuffing herself with sweets and getting her fill of scary stories, she’d want to just cuddle in bed and talk about each other’s days as she cuddles into your side, tracing small circles onto your hands

10/10 soft girl that just wants to have fun w/ u 🥺

Gyomei:

Gyomei is one of the ones that would love to just stay inside and have a nice chill evening w/ u 😌

I don’t think he’d dress up but he’d definitely love to give out candy

He loves how happy all the kids that come by trick or treating are n he loves hearing their laughter :,)

If you ended up going trick or treating he’d prob steal a couple pieces of candy when ur not looking ;) Ik he’s a v pure boy but I love the idea that he’d be just a tad mischievous with his S/O

Idk why but when I thought abt this prompt with him the first scene that came to my mind is the two of you sitting on your couch in front of the fire place, you leaning into him with his arm draped around your shoulder as you read a book out loud so the two of you can enjoy it

Candy and sweets strewn about on the coffee table in front of you and the laughs of children joyfully running from house to house quielty buzzing in the background

This cozy night would end with both of you falling asleep in front of the warm fireplace, your page dog-earred and your arms wrapped around his waist, he falls asleep with a faint smile on his lips and his arms holding you close