#* my post

[lastflowerofyourhouse]

picturing griddlehark college/otherwise normal aus is so fucking funny. like. you meet this lesbian couple, right. one of them is on a full sports scholarship, she's big, beefy, a little lacking in social skills but obviously happy to try. she swears every other sentence, has a poster of megan fox in transformers in her bedroom like a 13 year old boy. she's got an anime girl phone background. she wears a black choker all the time which does NOT match her otherwise purely sun's-out-guns-out-paired-with-cargo-shorts type wardrobe.

the other one is a full head shorter than her and shaped like a stick, wears exclusively big, shapeless cardigans and skirts that reach her ankles, will not speak to anyone but the beefcake in full sentences if she can avoid it, and visibly has not slept in a week. the one time you convince her to speak, she ends up insulting you in the most unnecessarily graphic and specific terms you have ever heard, gives you a look which singlehandedly curdles every ounce of self-esteem you've ever possessed, and immediately returns her attention to studying.

one day, you finally work up the courage to ask how the fuck they met and why they're dating. they tell you that they both grew up in a small-town christian cult which the stick figure's parents actually led, beat the shit out of each other daily for their entire childhoods, and finally resolved their differences in their late teens and immediately ran away together. the stick figure twitches up a sleeve of her oversize black cardigan to reveal a bracelet made of the beefcake's baby teeth that she personally knocked out of her skull. the beefcake smiles at her like this is the height of romance. the only issue they will acknowledge in their relationship is that when she was little, the stick figure fell madly in love with a painting of the virgin mary and has never quite recovered. they've been married for 3 years. they are 20 years old.

also the beefcake wears the choker because the stick figure said "no" to dog collars in public.

[deathishauntedbyhumans]

i hope donald trump and elon musk both send an assassin to murder the other guy. and then i hope their assassins fall in love <3

[snailmailthings]

realising that if will graham was on grindr and had one of those stereotypical man photos of him holding a fish he caught then it would probably work on hannibal whose opening line would be something like 'to wait patiently to strike is the same to stalk with eagerly abated breath. we are all in some way drawn to our base instincts, fisherman and hunter alike. tell me will, would you go on a date with me?' and it would be the weirdest message will got on the app and he would say yes and everything would inevitably end in sex and murder

[kiyyunkaiwan]

Reblog to scare a Deltarune fan

[l3irdl3rain]

always have to be careful when changing the sheets, lest the bedsheet monster gets you

[internetgreatesthits]

[spockandstars]

Paul Wesley I love you and you’re doing everything correct.

[ka1su-1cute]

Obsessed!child who was constantly moody and refused to make contact with babysitters. But when you appeared, his behavior changed dramatically, which amazed his parents

Obsessed!child who constantly asks you to pay attention to him when you come to his house as a babysitter.

Obsessed!child who tells you everything: his toys, stories from school and kindergarten.

Obsessed!child who is constantly acting up and waiting for your next visit.

Obsessed!child who is offered another babysitter when your term of employment is over. But he just refuses and demands you, not some unknown babysitter. No matter how they all were before you and after you, he doesn't want another one. He wants you.

"No way! I don't want another babysitter! I want that babysitter. I want Y/n back!"- naughty, said the kid.

Parents agree and make concessions to their child. You are offered a slightly higher amount, and you agree. After you entered the house, the boy you used to look after rushed to you.

[kiyyunkaiwan]

This is relevant now

[l3irdl3rain]

the only thing that sates her desire for human flesh is licking my fingers when I’m in bed

[ianime0]

Kusuriya no Hitorigoto | Ep42 | Loulan or Shisui. I do not even know what to call you anymore, But... Shisui. "What is it?"

[ives57]

[rtvsclipsilike]

A Frogge

[what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew]

grown ass man btw

[tashablaze9]

I really want to recreate this 🥺😕