#*I actually don’t remember if there was a point in the 70s where they had more time passing but in the late 70s/early 80s it’s 1 semester

[heroesriseandfall]

Comics timelines are so funny because whenever I feel like college is taking forever I have to remember Dick Grayson went to university in 1969 and dropped out in 1980 and after all that they claimed he’d only been there for one semester. Well no wonder he dropped out, I would also drop out if one college semester took me a decade.

[daydreamerdrew]

The Avengers (1963) #1.5 (published September 1999)

[cbrownjc]

The one thing that I don’t get is if Devil’s Minion happened during the 70s, that means that Armand was basically leaving an heavily injured Louis alone in their house for long periods of time. In the book, Daniel and Armand basically move in together and spend all their time together. The Chase also seems like a full time job. I feel like Armand wouldn’t go do that, as he’s still madly in love with Louis during that time. He’d probably devote all of his time taking care of him. Or do vampires just heal faster, even with significant burns?

Hi!

So see, The Chase is actually why I think it was clever of the show to have Louis attempt what he did when he did, and be so severely injured by it. Because, as I said here, Louis having such extensive burns means there is really only one way for him to truly heal from them quickly and that is if he does the same thing Lestat had to do in the books when he was severely burned in the same way in the books and I feel we will see him be on the show (and probably was doing when Armand contacted him in 2x05 back in 1973) -- and that is to go underground, into the very earth itself, to sleep for a time and heal.

See, that is one reason Louis begged Armand to put him in his coffin at one point after he was hurt. Vampires heal quicker from injuries when they are in their coffins. And they heal even more quickly -- and grow even more strong in their abilities and powers -- if they go into the earth to sleep for a time.

In the books, Lestat went to sleep underground in the earth for 55 years from all the heavy injuries he got -- first when Claudia slit his throat, then when Louis set him on fire, and then, in Paris when Armand threw him off a tower. Lestat went underground, into the earth, to sleep from 1929 to 1984, to heal from all of that.

So I think Louis likely did the same thing for a short time after he and Armand left Daniel at the drug den -- Louis went into the earth to sleep and heal from his wounds.

And when a vampire is in the earth asleep, they are at their most safe from harm. Even during the burning from Akasha, the vampires who were asleep underground were not burned by her, because they couldn't be burned while within the ground. I'm only up to Chapter 15 of Prince Lestat, but that is a word and tactic that is being broadcast by Benji for all vampires to do during the worldwide second burnings -- to go into the earth, underground, if a burning begins where they are to escape it.

So in truth, Louis wouldn't actually need Armand to watch or take care of him once he was in the earth, underground, asleep. Because that's how Daniel actually first met Armand in the books. Armand was just hanging out at Lestat's house for decades, waiting for Lestat to wake up again while Lestat was asleep underground. Armand didn't need to watch or take care of Lestat as he was doing so -- Armand was just there because he had nowhere else to go. So when Daniel stumbled into Lestat's house looking for him, chasing Daniel actually gave him something to do.

And so I think the same will be true wrt the show. Once Louis goes into the earth to sleep and heal, Armand really isn't going to be needed by Louis for however long Louis sleeps underground. Just like in the books when it came to Lestat doing the same thing.

In fact, I can see a parallel with Lestat and Louis now both being underground and asleep at this point in time in the show, both healing from everything they have both gone through, as I honestly expect Lestat to also get severely burned during the events of Paris, just as we saw Louis get burned in 2x05.

So yeah, once Louis is safely underground, Armand will basically be by himself for however long that may last. And I can see his curiosity with that boy Louis called "fascinating" occupying his mind again, and him deciding to check up on that boy out of curiosity. And, as I said here, Daniel remembering the first interview still -- as well as the inspiring words he now had on repeat in his mind -- I think is going to have Daniel first looking for Louis and then, failing to find him again, will have him try to find Lestat.

Because in the books, all Daniel did to find Lestat's Garden District house -- which Lestat was sleeping under at the time -- was to go through property ownership documents in the Hall of Records in New Orleans, and find Lestat's name listed, right there, for a few properties, the Garden District house being one of them. Daniel, of course, would have never been able to actually get to Lestat himself, because Lestat was deeply buried under the earth at that time, but he still found the house easy. And then, when he arrived there, that's when Armand first caught him and locked him in the cage.

One of the things about The Chase I always wondered about before now wrt the show's version of it was what Louis would have been doing during it, as I always thought it was critical that only Armand and Daniel be involved in it. This is the main reason I thought The Chase in the show would only last a year or so, instead of the 4 years it lasts in the books.

But now, with Louis being so severely burned, I think that gives the answer. Just like Lestat, Louis will go into the earth, underground, to sleep and heal. And, just like in the books when Lestat did the same, Armand will be alone and on his own while he waits for Louis to wake up again. Which will probably take some years to happen.

And the only reason I don't think Louis will be asleep for the whole time Devil's Minion happened in the past -- which was 12 years in total -- is because of Louis calling Daniel "our boy." Meaning I think, at some point, Louis was with Armand and Daniel both sometime after Armand and Daniel fell in love and came together while Louis was asleep, and he and Daniel became even closer friends during that time. But who knows? Maybe Louis just calls Daniel "our boy" because of what took place during those 3-4 nights back in 1973 and nothing else, and Louis just sees Daniel as a "testament to their companionship" or whatever, and he really was underground asleep during almost the whole of Armand and Daniel's relationship. That is very possible as well IMO.

At any rate, I do think there might be something to Armand saying that he and Louis have been together "for 70 years" in the bedroom scene in episode 2x01, but then Louis saying they've been together "for 77 years" at the top of episode 2x02. Armand could have just been speaking in general numbers, or . . . maybe there is a 7-year gap when they weren't together. And maybe that gap is talking about the years Louis spent underground asleep and healing -- which it's clear that Louis himself wouldn't remember in the present-day, since he didn't even remember attempting to kill himself in the first place (thanks to Armand's memory reprogramming on him). And, during that 7-year gap, that is when The Chase happened, as well as 3 of the 8 years Armand and Daniel were fully together after confessing being in love with each other as well.

Which, come to think of it . . . if you do the math on that? 1973 + 7 years takes you to the year 1980. And if you look at Daniel's LinkedIn page, his writing credits didn't really start accumulating until 1981. As Daniel said himself, the 1970s are just a blur to him. And this could be why.

So I can imagine Louis waking up around 1980 or so and learning from Armand that he and Daniel are now together. And yes, I think Louis would be okay with it -- because hell, at least Armand wasn't alone while Louis was asleep healing, and Louis himself already has a fondness for Daniel anyway. (All of this happening being something Louis doesn't remember anymore now of course).

But between Daniel's growing career and Alice somehow coming into the picture sometime in the 1980s (because yes, I do think Alice is real, even if I also think a lot of Daniel's memories of her are really memories about Armand), things begin to go sour, with Daniel probably insecure because -- like in the book -- Armand kept refusing to turn Daniel so they can be together forever, and Armand reluctant to turn Daniel for a host of reasons I mentioned in this post, as well as probably not trusting Daniel to not run off and leave him once he is immortal (which is also a fear that Armand had wrt turning Daniel).

Anyway, so yeah, I actually think the reveal of Louis' burns strengthens the argument that Devil's Minion happened in the past because it now gives us an idea of what was going on with Louis not only during the time of The Chase, but also quite possibly the first 3 or so years of Armand and Daniel being a fully in-love couple. And that is that Louis went underground, into the earth, to sleep and heal. Just like Lestat was probably also doing from his own post-Paris wounds and injuries at that same time. Louis and Lestat both were safe underground in the earth -- which is the main way for vampires to heal faster from heavy wounds while being safe while they do so -- and didn't need anyone watching over them or taking care of them.

And so, just like in the book with Lestat when he was underground asleep (because in the books Armand and Louis had already long broken up and gone their separate ways when Armand was just hanging around Lestat's house waiting for him to be fully healed and wake up again), I feel the same thing likely happened on the show with Louis. Louis was asleep underground, in the earth, healing; and Armand was alone and left to his own devices because of that when The Chase between him and Daniel first began.

[luna-rainbow]

Hi! I don't know if you have already read this Bucky's "analysis": https://www.tumblr.com/dreadnought-dear-captain/651270983166132224/cw-this-essay-is-about-about-trauma-including?source=share

I find it absurd that a person who claims to be knowledgeable in the psychological area and also to have lived through traumatic experiences themselves, can say that the depiction of therapy in TFATWS is OK and that it is "right" or "healthy" for Bucky to "take responsibility" for something he had no agency in. This is one of the many aspects that seem to me to be terribly wrong.

I'd be very grateful if you could share your opinion.

Sorry for the late reply, life’s been really hectic lately!

I vaguely remember reading this back in 2021. I don’t know if I ever got through the whole thing. I’m not trained in psychology so I can’t pretend to be any sort of expert.

There are some points I agree with, particularly to the headcanon that Bucky is actually very resilient rather than “fragile” — he has to be, to have lasted that long under Hydra, retained most of his innate willingness for good, and for Hydra to have been forced to use the methods they did to break him. While we’re on this topic, it’s not uncommon that people who leave abusive situations go through a period of “fragility” or being more open with expressing their vulnerability, because they’ve finally exited survival mode. I’m always soft for recovery fics where Bucky clearly has that stubborn resilient streak but also lets himself be vulnerable in front of someone he trusts.

It's not the first time that a self-proclaimed psychologist has tried to justify Bucky's arc in TFATWS with reclamation of agency (I feel like I've read a similar essay from someone else). My problem with these analyses has always been - Bucky is not a real patient, he's a fictional creation, therefore any talk about his psychology and in particular internal consistency can only be as good as the narrative. When you have a narrative that is as clunky as TFATWS, where it clearly made no attempt to consider Bucky's past, character, and motivations in many of the choices he made, it's ridiculous to examine this Bucky as though the writer had intended him to be a study of trauma recovery. It's like trying to debate the safest speed the Titan submersible should have descended at, when the real problem is that it's a creaking tin can from the get-go.

The problem with the reclamation of agency argument is the same problem with his healing arc. Just as Bucky already reclaimed his humanity and social connections by the support he got from the Wakandans, Bucky also already reclaimed his agency in the preceding movies. Are we forgetting his first act of disobedience to his handlers in pulling Steve out from the river instead of finishing his mission? Past that, he spent two years living a crime free and reasonably cosy life. He had a roof over his head, he was dressed clean and groomed, he was going out and conversing politely with shopkeepers, his apartment was sparsely furnished but lived in. All of these took a series of careful choices from someone who not only was forced to live with no agency for 70 years, but also had no identity, no documents, no money, and likely very little familiarity with this new world he's woken up to. He also made major choices that directly impacted the world around him, whether it was to divulge the location of the other Winter Soldiers, or joining Steve against the other Avengers, or choosing to go back to cryo, or accepting T'Challa's recruitment to go back onto the battlefield. He was not forced in any of these choices, and he had a lot to lose in each of them, but he still made the choice -- and the people around him, Steve and T'Challa, allowed him to make that call.

So yes, theoretically, if Bucky was a real patient, of course agency is a major theme in his recovery and a way to redirect away from overwhelming helplessness (although...Bucky's never acted as though he falls comfortably onto learned helplessness; again, the first thing we see him do as soon as he recalls any inkling of his past is to take agency into his own hands). But narratively? This is just regressing Bucky back to...oh, I don't know, early post-CATWS and retreading the recovery path he had already demonstrated.

And sure, trauma recovery is something that happens over a long period of time and people can vacillate between well-adjusted and emotional wreck, and we can argue given the events of Endgame, there's good reason for Bucky to have rollercoasted to an emotional slump by TFATWS. But - once again - this is a fictional construct, and if you took a step back and looked at the narrative as a whole instead of "Bucky should be allowed to make bad choices because he's mentally ill", there is no character justification for why Bucky would break Zemo out of jail or fight with Wakanda, very borderline justification for why Bucky would confuse the shield for his friendship with Steve, and minimal justification for why Bucky would crash Sam's mission in the first place. Not to mention the 20 things that doesn't make sense about the Flagsmashers and post-Blip world, and what authority Sam and Bucky were even working under. If the overarching narrative doesn't make sense, what even is the use of trying to rationalise his actions in a psychological sense?

As to your specific point about "the depiction of therapy in TFATWS is OK and that it is "right" or "healthy" for Bucky to "take responsibility" for something he had no agency in" - I'm not sure how it's argued in the original essay because I don't want to read the whole thing, but this feels like a really weird therapeutic strategy. If we equate Bucky's situation to rape - which we probably can after they inserted the stomach turning scene of Zemo selling Bucky to Selby - I'd like to know which therapist would sit with their rape victim and say it's "right and healthy" for them to take responsibility for the rape, ie the situation during which Bucky had no control over his identity or wishes. From what I've seen and read of victims in recovery, whether that's as survivors of abuse or rape or homocide, they find solace in taking control of the emotions they are left with in recovery -- i.e. the grief or rage or indignation, and repurposing that into a sense of mission, such as starting victim help groups or campaigning for policy change or fighting to get the criminals arrested. But again, that's not reclaiming the situation as something they had "responsibility" for, but rather to make the best with their experience and being a safety net for others. But that hadn't been what Bucky's therapy was about, Raynor was basically implying Bucky was dangerous and out of control and needs to make amends to prove himself stable. It wasn't about unravelling what Bucky feels about the long helpless 70 years of imprisonment and redirecting it to a sense of purpose, it was to make Bucky "pay back" the other victims...as a parole condition to make him suitable for society.

So no, it was not an appropriate therapeutic intervention, because at no point did it have Bucky's best interest at heart, nor - based on Sebastian's portrayal - did it have Bucky's buy-in. And as I've always said, it was also incredibly unfair to the other victims on the receiving end of Bucky's unexpected appearance and "amends" without any sort of neutral mediator.

[celinin-archive]

Exclusive, Celestino Vietti: “I want to become like Bagnaia” 

The interview to the Piemontese: “My future? On track, maybe in MotoGP, but no hurry. Valentino Rossi? He gives me the energy to win the Moto2 title” 

“Look at how young Pecco was... I also was so much younger, I remember already looking at him with the desire to be like him”. In front of the pictures of his past, Celestino Vietti Ramus finds himself in front of a photo from 2013, with Bagnaia in the san Carlo Team Italia leathers. 

Near him, two kids, one of them daydreaming of emulating the path of his fellow countryman Pecco: “I won the entrance to the paddock of the Misano GP thanks to a contest: I had to colour the livery of Pecco’s bike. My drawing was terrible...” remembers Celestino today. “I could have never known that a couple of years later I would have joined Bagnaia in the VR46 Riders Academy. He’s always been a model for me, we come from the same province, I took his same route”. 

The goal of the twenty years old, today, is completing the work: Vietti is leader of the same Moto2 that Bagnaia won in 2018, with the same Made in Tavullia team, before getting to MotoGP. The big stage, where “Celin” would be able to find himself at ease, him who finds himself comfortable in his Coassolo – holiday destination for people from Turin – like in Tavullia, away from his family that he hasn’t seen in a couple of months. “Maybe this is the longest period I’ve been away from them, but I feel good here too. Who goes away from home young adapts better to places and situations. And it has also been my choice, I’ve been chasing a dream. But home is always home, and I miss my family”. 

The World Championship makes you grow up fast, but if you add to it being away from home... “Yes, you grow up. You discover a lot of things, you have to make do: i lived the first period with enthusiasm, because everything was new. Now, when I get back from races, the first thing to do is the washing, and then getting everything in order. I’m a bit the “housewife” (laughs)”. 

Are you a tidy person? 

“No, and actually in the team me and Niccolò Antonelli compensate each other... but independence is important: you have your experiences, you learn a bit how to manage yourself, you learn how what seemed taken for granted, actually isn’t. And home is always home”. 

But now you have your own house, in Tavullia. 

“I bought a house, and I know that doing so at twenty isn’t common. I did it thinking and calculating that in the next years I will be here, I will train here. Let’s say, it’s an investment. Moving hasn’t been hard, in the end it’s been just a few meters”. 

How is your typical day? 

“The most difficult ones are those after travelling back from a race: doing the washing, grocery shopping, maybe going to the business consultant or something like that. And you also train a lot” 

Then, how FP results suggest, waking up is always a delicate moment... 

“(laughs) Let’s say that in FPs I find myself in bigger difficulties when I’m not immediately okay: I’m still ‘machine-like’, I’m working on it”. 

You’re a race animal instead. 

“Making a lot of consecutive laps helps me, because lap after lap I can shave a lot of little things working on my riding. During the race you can study your opponents better, that are maybe more explosive during FPs”. 

You started with 70 points won from the 75 available in the first three GPs, then you went down. What happened? 

“Maybe it comes from my ‘little’ explosivity. And in GPs outside of Europe, everybody goes in a bit blind sighted”. 

But emerging when everybody is in blind sighted is a sign of talent. 

“Maybe it is”. 

Did being the rider to beat condition you or is it a pure mediatic suggestion? 

“I don’t feel it a lot, even if I feel more watched and followed. The problem, for me, is dealing with difficult moments knowing I’m leading the Championship. In FPs I often told myself ‘no, I can’t be in this position’. I tend to blame myself when things don’t go well”. 

Does Valentino Rossi’s advice remain the same, “always believe in it a bit more”? 

“Yes, Vale motivates me. And above all else gives good advice. He watched me from the side track in Portimao, he asks a lot of question in general, he inquires. And then he still trains with us, and he’s always fast”. 

Did you imagine being so high up in your second year of Moto2 already? 

“No, I was picturing more difficulties. I was expecting the first podium and the first victory, yes, but not in the first attempt in Qatar” 

Who’s the first rival for the title? 

“Aron Canet, who’s my opposite: he’s super fast from the first lap of the weekend. He hasn’t won yet, but he’s good. Ogura always takes something home. And Chantra surprised me”. 

How do you win a world Championship? 

“Always getting to the finish line. Thing I didn’t do in Austin, where I also tried to manage a bit. Bad mistake”. 

How do you position yourself in from of the new duality between Enea Bastianini and Pecco Bagnaia in MotoGP? 

“it’s nice to see italians in front, in Le Mans we saw an exciting battle, unfortunately in didn’t finish under the chequered flag. I’m a bit on Bagnaia’s side, I’ll admit it” 

What does he represent for you? 

“He’s a great MotoGP rider, I saw him riding and ‘hitting like a blacksmith’ again also on the GP22, and it’s a sight for the eyes. Pecco has always been a model, he brought our territory in the bike world, he won a title, he is in MotoGP on the official Ducati. It’s impossible not to dream about following his steps” 

You had another model-rider, in your family. 

“My big brother Doriano started riding minibikes, and imagine if I, being much more vivacious than him (to not say something else), would settle for watching him. I’m happy for where he is, with Aprilia in the CIV’s superbike, even if the injury before the championship hasn’t helped him”. 

Doriano and Celestino: will you be the third generation in the family business of repairing agricultural machines or will the rider career bring you somewhere else? 

“He already works with dad: me and Doriano went to the same mechanic school in Turin. I also would like to carry on dad’s work, my uncles’, my grandpa’s. I admire Doriano because he works during the day and then he trains. It’s hard, he’s told me so, but he doesn’t want to stop. I think of him when I have some problem, maybe a lot of commitments, or I miss home, because I live a life I like, I’m lucky. And when I leave for a GP, I always do it willing, because I know that transforming a passion in your job is not for everyone”. 

So you see yourself World Champion and then in the family business? 

“That’s the plan, I’d hate to interrupt everything that my family has created”. 

How far is MotoGP? 

“It depends on how much we grow, and I don’t use the plural casually, because this is a grow path we take all together. With the Team Mooney-VR46 we win and we lose as if we were only one person. Saying all this, I wouldn’t want to make a too rushed transition, I’d like to get some satisfaction in Moto2 and to be ready for the moment of the jump”. 

Do the rumours that picture you close to the top class influence you? 

“No, I’m able to stay calm. When I hear people talking about certain possibilities, I think about it a bit, but I doesn’t interest me at races. And above all else I don’t change my way of doing things”. 

2020 was the year of passing the maturità, 2021 accompanied you to buying a house: what is the big goal of 2022? 

“Staying where I am now, until the end”. 

Like Bagnaia did, some time ago, another torinese who left home as a teenager to move to Tavullia and carch a dream. Celestino Vietti Ramus has been ready to receive that baton for almost ten years. Since than picture with his role model... 

[bcolfanfic]

young vets au brain dump - croz being complicated version

(disclaimer: i love croz. me making him a complicated little shit in this au should not be interpreted as character bashing. i find his journey over the course of mota fascinating and figuring out how to translate that to a different setting/different war has been a fun thought experiment for me. pls don’t jump me. messy characters make the world go round!)

him and jean met in high school. sweet babies.

then they *had* a baby a lot sooner than they were really expecting. both of em out of high school, but barley.

they love each other and do everything right but shit is hard and the military preys on people trying to make ends meet

so, well- 1+1=s 2 off to basic he goes.

ends up in afghanistan around the same time bucky and gale and all the other guys start rolling in there.

also ends up there with his bff from basic training, tech school and everything else. bubbles <3

the two of them end up bunking with demarco and douglas which is quite the right brain/left brain dynamic lol.

croz and bubbles' side of the room is snowglobes and kid pictures and demarco and douglas' side is women from magazines taped on the wall god love em.

gets along decently well with everyone but.

then bubbles dies and that's when everything really starts to go to shit.

i wrote a little about his initial fight with bucky about the IED that killed bubbles here.

they don't really make up from that.

for a long while.

croz is in a spiral about losing his best friend, bucky is starting to not do so well with the preindictment they're all in himself and they just. really set each other off.

kinda freaks everyone out bc they remember sweet baby face croz who puked a lot but now he's just different. damn war.

it gets to a point where him and bucky can't be in the same room without popping off at each other. and everyone else is having to micromanage them on top of having to do their actual jobs in war zone. (70% of the time its brady having to keep bucky away if not gale. croz's "insurance" buddies are rosie and douglas)

does end up getting involved with a girl in another unit

douglas and demarco clock it before anyone else bc he starts coming to bed at weird hours and they see him around this girl and just knowww.

pisses demarco off esp bc he had a whole Thing with finding out his girl back home cheated on him.

one night demarco decides to wait up for him to get back from wherever the fuck it is he goes with her at night and just about fucking jumps him and douglas has to pull him off (after he gets a good whack in)

it was a *loud* commotion of a fight lmfao bucky could hear it from their room and wanted to go see what was going on but gale was like noooppeee. no y' don't.

croz ends up telling jean everything. she forgives him. ("women! eliza could leave alex now for cheating on her. or not. as she wished." - vanessa nadal on eliza hamilton)

him and bucky make up during the pull out from afghanistan bc bucky just about saves his life in the chaos.

poor croz just breaks down crying/panicking about how he wants to go home. and bucky doesn't see that little shit that he's grown resentful towards, he sees that nervous pukey kid from when they first met

buttt...post war things get a little dicey again.

bc he stays in.

bagram sucked the war sucked but. he still has a family to provide for, he's not totally on the outs with the forces so he ultimately decides leaving would be more work than it's worth.

gets deployed to raf mildenhall base in england and gets to move with his wife and kiddos to england so. not a bad deal.

but there are. feelings. amongst the others about him staying in.

especially curt- who is the most "fuck all of that and the government too". getting his leg blown off fucked him up 7 ways to sunday and just completely shaped his view on it all.

the two of them get reallllly into it once when all the guys are together and it gets. ugly.

curt says a whole lot of shit about how he doesn't know how he can look at his kids knowing what they saw happen to kids overseas, what /they/ endorsed by being there. croz says its none of his business- he had his reasons for staying in, curt says name one that isn't selfish and it just. escalates. till they're both yelling and mean. croz eventually says something dumb on impulse about how he won't apologize for not letting the war radicalize him against his country and curt has to be yanked back from decking him lmfao. just another night!

if the others weren't all friends with both of em him and curt would not fuck with each other at allllll but. they love their friends more than they dislike each other so they smile and grind their teeth and *try*.

the whole thing with bucky's drinking issues brings them together because they're on the same page about that at least.

have a longgg talk when all that is going on. and it makes curt's chest hurt bc man he really has his issues with this kid but. he knows he's doing what he genuinely believes he has to, knows he only enlisted to begin with bc he felt like it was the only way he could provide for his family.

knows that all the issues he has with the guy the fuckin military is to blame for just as much if not more than croz is himself.

a more lighthearted side bar: bucky ribs him about staying in a little too- is just more lighthearted on it bc they have become more friendly since they left bagram (and get to being even better friends once they bucks have josie).

one night they're talkin when croz complains he can't do what he wants with his facial hair because of regs and bucky is like wellllll if you gotta the fuck outta there you could grow a handlebar mustache. don't let your dreams be dreams kid!

[writing-for-life]

Sunday Mourning—About Dream Entities and Stars

Why Head-Canons Are Wonderful, But Forcing Them On Creators Isn’t

And as always: Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!

First of all: I don’t want to take anyone’s head-canons away from them, it’s what fandom is partly built on. I support them, I love them, I have plenty of my own. The Sandman very explicitly tells us about “books never written” in Lucien/ne’s library, and we can be sure ours is in there.

But that’s not quite the same as harassing both creators and other fans in an attempt to make fanon canon, and that’s what partly sparked this post. So if a super-long meta exploration of “Sunday Mourning” (and there is a lot in this post) that also contains a bit of fandom criticism (feel free to skip that if you just want the meta) isn’t your thing—this is your warning 🤣

Also: Massive spoilers ahead…

The theory that Morpheus forever lives in Hob’s dreams (and with Hob) as a dream entity regularly makes the rounds. And it’s a nice theory, and I get why people like it. I also get that “The Wake—Sunday Mourning” is maybe ambiguous enough to consider it a possibility (which then goes into head-canon territory). All good so far.

What’s problematic is when fans begin to leverage their head-canons/theories as “true because Neil gave it a like”, and then proceed to present them as canon.

Neil likes posts, yes, but he said *several times* and *very explicitly* that’s never endorsement of anything, but rather valuing that people put thought into stuff and engage with his stories critically (and he also said that it’s sometimes just a slip of his finger, but that just as an aside, you’ll find one example here).

So if Neil liked a happily-ever-after-dream-entity post, that means he supports your head-canons as head-canons because he always does (or his finger slipped—I guess we’ll never know). Again: In a way, it’s even an integral part of The Sandman. It also means that he likes the fact you engaged deeply with the source material, in either a heartfelt or critical way.

What it *doesn’t* mean: Head-canon is the same as canon despite both being valid in their own way. He said all of this a million times in a million posts.

Let’s explore that particular theory and start with an ask:

His endorsement goes as far as acknowledging that “it’s never only a dream,” and that “dreams are where the stories are.” And we need to stop pretending it’s anything more than that, even if he likes a few posts here and there (posts that go in all different directions, btw). Neil used his own experience with grief and mirrored it 1:1 in how Hob handles Morpheus’ death in The Wake and Sunday Mourning.

Here is a quote from the Sandman Companion:

NG: […] Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories—if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death.

HB: It also makes me think of Hob's dream in part 3.

NG: That was something that actually happened to me. [1]I dreamt about a friend who'd died six months earlier, woke up completely upset that she'd died, [2]and then realized I'd simply had a dream and felt enormously relieved... [3]and then I woke up all the way and remembered that she really had passed on.

[numbers and bold by me]

And then remember what happened to Hob:

1. He found out in a dream Morpheus had died and woke up upset and crying in The Wake, Chapters 1-3 (#70-72).

2. Then he had another dream that somewhat gave him closure and a sense of relief (Sunday Mourning, #73).

(Can I also just point out where Destruction’s fingers are pointing here and then contrast it with what he told Daniel in The Wake about “walking amongst the stars”, or Morpheus actually turning into a star?)

(What might the end of the story be? Who knows, but once again, have a look where Destruction’s fingers are pointing.)

3. Then he woke up all the way and felt peace (also in Sunday Mourning).

Make of that what you will, but to me, saying that scene was based on his own dream is basically Neil confirming that Morpheus has “really passed on.”

Will Hob remember Morpheus? Of course he will. That’s what humans do. Does Morpheus live a happily ever after in Hob’s dream with Hob? And would that be in character? And would he want his memories to be intact to make that happen? Would that truly be passing on?

I will explore why canonically, we don’t find much to support that notion, and why it would seem OOC. But if you believe it, it’s your personal truth. Should we call for the ending to be changed though to make our personal truth that of the author?

Life and death are our own, and it’s never just a dream

Destruction was in Hob’s dream (when Hob never really knew him), and Destruction walked away from it all. As did Morpheus. They’re both free. It was very likely (and I'm phrasing this carefully on purpose) a dream gifted by Daniel!Dream (who had a very long talk with Destruction during the Wake) to give Hob closure, and it seems straightforward enough if you read The Wake not just single-mindedly focused on one thing. Daniel!Dream is not in the original panel, but he is in the background of concept art of that panel for a movie pitch by Jill Thompson and Neil Gaiman, so we can probably assume it was always the intended subtext.

And what does Death say in Façade? Or what does Morpheus say to Orpheus, or to Delirium after he killed Orpheus? That life and death are our own.

Destruction’s life is his own.

Morpheus’ death is his own.

And Hob’s life AND death are his own.

The three of them are the literal embodiment of that sentiment:

One walked away and chose life.

One walked away and chose death.

One chooses life for as long as he sees fit and can choose death if he stops doing so.

It makes sense to put them in a panel together at the end for that very reason (and a few others of course).

That, right there, is already “more than just a dream.” It is the story, not just a metaphor. It is canon, and it is fairly explicit.

Would Morpheus ever want to be a dream entity with all his memories intact?

From this point onward, we get more into interpretation based on canonical character traits:

Morpheus living forever as a dream entity *tied to Hob’s dream* is canonically antithetical and OOC. There, I said it. He wanted to be free from the Dreaming, he even said so to Death (“But even the freedom of the Dreaming can be a cage, of a kind, my sister,” in #69).

But existing as a dream entity WITH ALL HIS MEMORIES INTACT (that alone should make people say, “He would never want this in a million years” because it’s the very source of his pain—he wanted punishment for Orpheus’ fate/death—Nuala called him out on it) would forever tie him to it. Plus, it would make him Daniel’s subject in a way. It would be, again, very OOC.

Also: Dream had very strong feelings about the dead NOT belonging into dreams/the Dreaming permanently, or the living building their lives around them. WHY would that apply to Hector, but not to Morpheus himself? Again, it makes no sense in continuity.

But Destruction was in that dream…

Destruction visited Daniel!Dream during the Wake. They talked about a lot of stuff that’s very relevant, I recommend a reread if you’re not certain (this is long enough as it is, so I’ll skip it at this point). And it makes narrative sense to anchor that in Hob’s dream for reasons already outlined (they might not make sense to Hob, but they make sense to us, the reader, if we are willing to see that “it’s more than just a dream” isn’t equal to two people riding off into the sunset together, as nice a head-canon that might be). What I *do* want to point out though is that Destructions talked about “walking amongst the stars” and again, where he points in Hob’s dream.

Someone said this somewhere else and drew parallels to Stardust: Morpheus *does* become a star (or returns to them, who knows), it’s all over The Wake. That star is in literally *every* panel with a window/sky after his barge has transformed. And what becomes of him as that—who knows, since we all know stars have some sort of sentience in Gaiman’s universe, and that “oblivion is not an option” if Death took your hand to lead you into the afterlife. Again: Head-canon territory…

Head-canons are beautiful

No one is trying to take them away from us. Let’s knock ourselves out in fanfic and fanart, it’s comforting and healing. The Sandman is a story about stories. Our stories are our own, and they are true for us, that’s the whole point. And Neil will *never* tell you your head-canon is not real, because for you, it is, and that’s all that matters. But the constant need to elevate fanon to canon really gets exhausting at times, especially if it involves pestering the creators, constantly being on their blogs/tagging them and trying to get them to confirm what we want.

And to those that insist we will undoubtedly get a happily ever after because “Hob’s dream says so”, and think the writers somehow should “read the room” and provide fan-service (side-note: What is it with this entitlement in fandom? The creator tells *their* story, not yours):

One of the main messages of the story is (already in 24/7) that stories only have a happy ending because we know when to stop, but that they ultimately *all* end in death. No matter how much people say that “the show is so much more hopeful”, that very line has already been brought into the show. They didn’t take it out. It will have weight at some point, I’ll put my money on it.

But show!Murphy isn’t comics!Murphy...

People point out that show!Morpheus is different from comics!Morpheus to justify we will get a different ending. Making Morpheus a bit softer around the edges seems, at least to me, a move to make him likeable as the protagonist, because it would be very hard to like early comics!Morpheus, to be frank. The fact that he brought Gault back from the darkness—I saw that as giving show!only fans a nicely wrapped end of the first season, because we didn’t even know if we would get a second one at that point. It also shows us that he is capable of change—a thing I am near certain he will repeatedly deny as we go on (he already did). So no, I personally don’t think it set him on a different path. There are even scenes in the show that very heavily foreshadow The Kindly Ones (the cracks in the window are overlayed onto his face in such a way that they heavily hint at the scar he is going to receive).

So yes, by all means, let’s have a bit of ambiguity in Sunday Mourning for the people who don’t like the tragic ending, but let’s also focus on more than just making everything about the ship. Their relationship is important, and even more so because it isn’t romantic—that’s why it grows and lasts (unlike Morpheus’ romantic relationships). But it’s only the tiniest fraction of what The Sandman is about.

I write fanfic. I give Morpheus happy endings, too. I get it, I want him to be happy, too. But no matter how much we write him in character, we will ultimately break character the moment we make him do things that lead to a different outcome. In canon, he is the way he is. And I am afraid to say:

I personally think he is also like that in the show, even if they softened him a bit around the edges and shoved certain messages down our throats that people who know the comics didn’t need, but newbs to the Sandman did (“I’m listening now…”)—it was a good move, and all of that made sense for show-narrative reasons. But not once did I have the feeling that he wasn't exactly the same Morpheus underneath it all, and we already had too much foreshadowing to think that we would really get a different ending.

Why chemistry isn’t confirmation of the ship

That’s another one: To turn one (!) show-writer’s comment that Morpheus’ and Hob’s chemistry was a thing, and that they allowed that type of ambiguity, into, “Their romantic relationship is canon.” These two things are not the same. And Neil said that Benton’s comment did not make Dreamling any more real/canon, but people conveniently forget that. He also didn’t deny it, he just didn’t confirm, because, again: He doesn’t confirm or deny head-canons. They’re ours. Let's please stop pestering the man to confirm our head-canons and fantasies, but that just as an aside.

It shows one thing, however:

How conditioned fandom is to make everything about romantic relationships (ideally m/m), even if they have nothing, and I say nothing, to do with the main message.

And it’s okay the wish for these relationships matters to some people, but they don’t have to matter to everyone else, to the extent that we expect the actual story to change. Why try to twist his arm into changing his own story, and the way he wanted to tell it?

So again: Head-canons are beautiful. Trying to get them confirmed by creators and foist them upon everyone else (to the extent that people get harassed) is not.

And if I'm proven wrong on this, I’ll still die happy, but I'm putting my chips down right now and say:

Morpheus will die in exactly the same way as in the comics. And if we get The Wake, we will get a scene in Sunday Mourning that can hold ambiguity for processing our grief, just like the comic can. And the shippers will say, “He’s with Hob, yay!”, and the non-shippers will say, “Nah, not what I saw.” And Neil will get a million asks and answer each single one with:

“What do *you* think?”

[orionsangel86]

The Problem With Thessaly

I’m sure plenty of fans would agree with me that there are certain elements of the Sandman comics that are going to be very difficult to adapt for television. I don’t envy the mammoth task Neil and the creative team on the show have ahead of them. But one element in particular which has been on my mind frequently is how they are going to introduce Thessaly to our screens.

It’s not just that she’s a TERF. It’s that she’s a cold, cruel, selfish, and inconsiderate bitch who only ever thinks about herself. Oh yeah, and she’s a huge TERF. There isn’t a single likeable element to her.

And yet.

We are supposed to somehow believe that our main protagonist, idiotic as he may sometimes be, depressed and seriously down on his luck as he is, will fall head over heels in love with her.

Sorry. But it ain’t happening. Something has gotta change. So here are my thoughts on how they could fix the Thessaly Problem.

Under a cut for comic spoilers (and its a bit long)

I kinda get the reason it happens in the comics. Kinda. I can’t remember the exact quote, or where I read it, but Neil explained it as “two people who you know are absolutely not right for each other and no one who knows them can understand why they are together.” He purposely wrote it to be a really weird match that didn’t make sense.

From Dream’s perspective, at this point in the story he has just had some of his biggest romantic disasters slapped in his face (at one point literally) all within a very short space of time for an entity as long lived as him. First Calliope, then Nada, and then Alianora, and he is hurting from all of them. Having to face his romantic failures one after another within the space of a few years AFTER having to go through 70 odd years of relentless suffering trapped in a glass prison has GOT to mess with your head. So I think Thessaly is basically the worst rebound in history. They are only canonically together for a few weeks but he somehow falls head over heels for this plain, dull, horrible person. 100% this is a rebound. He’s messed up. So yeah, I kinda get it.

From Thessaly’s perspective it seems she just really liked the idea of being the object of someones attention and desire even though she never returned his feelings and left him the minute he stopped devoting all his attention to her (god she really is a bitch).

So why don’t I think this will work in the show?

Because the show is a kinder universe than the comic. Dream is different in the show. He is already more thoughtful, warm, compassionate, and has a better self awareness when it comes to his shortcomings. He’s also a far more romantic character in the show, which is probably thanks to Tom Sturridge’s excellent performance and likeability and absolutely maddening sexual chemistry with literally every character he interacts with (his pretty face doesn’t hurt either). You just have to look at his scenes with Calliope to know that they are playing up the romance and kindness there when in the comics Dream is extremely cold to Calliope throughout their very short interactions.

Given the news that the writing team on Game of You will include trans writers specifically to cover the sensitivities of honouring Wanda, I don’t know how they will adapt the transphobia she suffers at Thessaly’s hand, or whether they will include that at all - personally I think they should remove it. Not to make Thessaly more likeable, but because it reinforces a really wrong view of witchcraft and magick that modern witches and pagans are working extremely hard to reject. Not to get too deep into these topics, but transphobia is a fucking plague in those communities and the last thing we need is more people thinking everyone who practices witchcraft is a fucking TERF. The comic even goes so far as to imply the actual MOON is transphobic. Like WTF? The moon isn’t fucking transphobic and “womb magic” is stupid. If I ever have to read the words “divine feminine” in a witchcraft FB group again I’m gonna scream.

Anyway my point is that I don’t think those scenes in the comic are necessary and there are plenty of other ways to adapt that story without resorting to transphobia.

The other issue is that if they do keep it in, they somehow have to deal with the fact that their protagonist is seemingly totally cool with dating a transphobic murderous bitch. Um. Yeah, not cool Dream. I think the show is going to do everything it can to make Dream MORE likeable and based on what we have seen so far I definitely think that’s the route they are taking.

So yeah Dream won’t be falling in love with a TERF in the show, that I am sure of.

The thing is, the best way they can deal with the Thessaly problem is also the simplest - Don’t include her. Just don’t write her into the show. Simples.

Because we already have a character in the show universe who technically doesn’t exist in comic canon, who knows magic and the occult, and who is MUCH more likeable and kind whilst still being a bit messy and selfish and totally a terrible match for Dream... Oh, and who also happens to be played by possibly the most well known actor on the shows main cast list.

Johanna Constantine.

Jenna Coleman is a fairly big name and one of the primary stars for the show. At least Netflix seemed to think so since her face was all over the marketing and she was included in basically every cast interview, even though her character only turns up in 1 and a half episodes. She is also playing a new version of an already well known character in pop culture and I am convinced Netflix is already considering spin off options for her. So there is no way they aren’t going to include her in future episodes of the Sandman.

Except thats where Netflix has a problem if it wants to stick to comic canon. Lady Johanna Constantine only turns up in one more Sandman story, and John Constantine doesn’t show up again at all in the comics.

So my piece of speculation that I’m almost 90% certain will happen, is that they will bring back modern Johanna Constantine in an extended or adapted role based on another character.

My money is on Thessaly. Remove Thessaly, replace her with Johanna.

I’m not just saying this because I think Johanna and Morpheus hooking up will be hot (it will be, don’t deny it. My bisexual ass knows a hot couple when I see them). But because it makes sense.

Yeah okay we have that pesky little rule about the Endless not dating mortals - but that rule currently doesn’t exist in show canon either, so theres no reason why they can’t just also scrap that for the sake of some sexy, messy, and definitely disastrous bi4bi action.

All jokes aside, with only a few tweaks to the story in a Game of You, you could seemlessly fit Johanna into it. She can be in New York for a specific case, hell, maybe Barbie and the sudden appearance of Martin Tenbones on a busy New York street IS the case she’s investigating? She can still find a way to break Hazel and Foxglove into the Dreaming AND when Morpheus shows up they can have another tantalising showdown like they did in episode 3. It works better with Johanna tbh. She actually cares about people, the motivation is there for her to want to save Barbie and protect people from supernatural sources. We can just make the storm and the collapse of the apartment block be caused by George or the cuckoo or something (or not have it happen at all since I am also practically certain that Wanda is NOT going to die in the show).

This ALSO means that much later on, when Lyta is having her breakdown and destroying the Dreaming, having Johanna being the one to protect her from Morpheus rather than Thessaly also adds a more human element to it. Morpheus has never been a killer, but sometimes his duties demand it. He goes to kill Lyta to prevent the Kindly Ones destroying the Dreaming. If it is Johanna blocking him instead of Thessaly, their motives align. Johanna would protect Lyta for the simple fact that she won’t let a supernatural creature harm a human (as much as she can - sorry Kevin), and Morpheus, being hesitant about killing anyway, would be easily talked out of it by Johanna. “Find another way to save the Dreaming, I won’t let you harm her.”

It just adds an emotional weight that isn’t there with Thessaly, who only protects Lyta because she made a deal with the Kindly Ones in exchange for more centuries of life - an ironic request when Morpheus (and Death) are keeping Hob Gadling alive simply so he can be Dream’s BFF.

It just works for me. Scrap the “no mortals” rule and you can have them have the messy disastrous relationship that doesn’t work out. It is far more believable that Johanna Constantine could break Dream’s heart - she’s already a known heartbreaker in the show (sorry Rachel). It’s a doomed love story a modern audience can get behind, makes sense, the actors already have insane sexual chemistry, and it could definitely hit all those story beats needed to get the show to a version of the Kindly Ones whilst also actively improving it.

I may first and foremost be a Dreamling shipper, but talking in terms of canon I very much want Morpheus to have a passionate short-lived heart breaking affair with Johanna. Fuck Thessaly. Keep her relegated to comic canon. Morphanna all the way.

And THAT is how we fix the problem with Thessaly.

[ultfreakme]

and on our agenda is JonJay. How many times have I told myself not to go under comments on Tumblr, but this time misfortune took me by surprise. It was about Bernard, I decided to go into the comments, which was my main mistake. The author of the post wrote that Jay is worse than Bernard, since he can control the minds of other people (I don’t remember this at all, I know about his ability to pass through walls and any solid objects) and how Jon can meet with him. God, there was no explanation, but if this person meant that Jay forced Jon to fall in love with him by penetrating his mind, then I'm leaving this planet. How blind do you have to be when you read a comic book so as not to read that Jon agreed to help Jay himself, since people needed help. And he didn’t fall in love with him right away either, rather after Jay met the superfamily, like, yes. I’m still It's still killing me that people think Jay is the worst option for Jon, although if you ask my opinion, they couldn't find each other better. Jay literally exposed himself for the sake of Jon, what else do they need for them to believe in his sincerity. By the way, they don’t have any thoughts about the setup from Nicky to Damian. Sorry, but it still really annoys me, like ,how so. I'm still wondering why people love Bernad and Nika more than Jay. Maybe you have an answer, I don't know. (I love them too, but this injustice is killing me)

Anon, I get you so much. I answered something like this before but I love ranting and the Jon Kent tag is filled with Jay hate so I'll do it again. The reason why people hate Jay is:

Racism and Orientalism

People think Jon should've ended up with Damian

He's associated with Jon's age-up

Potential covert biphobia

None of the Jay haters have actually read SOKE. The 'mind control' rumors started spreading and becaus basically 70% of tumblr DC fans haven't actually touched more than 3 issues of the comic books and out of context panels in their lives, they don't know that Jay's NEVER 'seduced' Jon. Which is, by the way, a classic offensive stereotype assigned to Asian characters; that Asian characters, especially ones who are into men are all seducers. This is primarily applied to women but now its being applied with Jay.

It's funny because Jon WAS affected to be attracted by an actual telepathic character; Imra, aka Saturn Girl.

And this is where the biphobia comes in because Saturn Girl dated Jon, it was a disaster fire relationship in a book that mischaracterized both of them.It's implied that Imra accidentally used her powers to make Jon be into her, but NO ONE talks about it because it's a seemingly heterosexual relationship. Also she's a white blond girl. It's far easier to target the sparse Asian rep we get.

Nika and Bernard also don't get as much hate because of this reason. People can talk around it all they want, but they are more loved and accepted because they are white. If either of them were POC, they'd be getting the same treatment.

The DamiJon shippers for some reason got it into their heads that Damian x Jon is going to be a thing and now they're mad that they're headcanons aren't real. Like I can't even be kind about this because these assholes have been nothing but racist, clogging up Jon's tag by not tagging anything right, and have also attacked actual content creators to the point they've had to respond to them to tell them to STOP.

Nothing will get these people to like Jay, because they don't actually care about comics, storytelling, the messages these stories bring, the characters, or anything really. They just care that their headcanon vision of Jon's gone and it isn;t easy to project their "sunshine baby" tropes on Jon anymore since now he's actually got adventures of his own outside of Damian. And those adventures happen to be with his boyfriend Jay.

[swearyshera]

So we are at the end of the road on something that has always been about the journey, not the destination.  I’ve taken my time to gather some thoughts.  This blog has meant a lot to many people, not the least of which is me.  I’ve had a hard time these last few years – I think it’s been hard times for everyone, in one way or another.  Personally, I seem to remember discovering this blog not too long before I had a breakdown and handled it very poorly, making bad decisions that cost me a lot of friends, or at least people whom I thought were my friends up until a breaking point.  (Your blog was unrelated to this).  When I came out of hospitalization I had a few things to rely upon – a video therapy group was one, certain family members and, well, as silly as it sounds, hitting up tumblr for my daily dose of Sweary She-Ra to make me laugh. And then in mid-January, 2023, one of the people who was closest to me in my entire life died suddenly of technically unknown cause but considering his health issues, probably a heart-issue. It was sudden and devastating.  We shared She-Ra and the Princesses of Power together because he was kind of curious about it and I was a nostalgia-fan of the ‘80s series.  We both became massive fans of Entrapta.  In fact, my nephew / best friend got me into the fandom in the first place because he had a silly idea for a fanfic about Entrapta wrecking havoc in the Fright Zone just post first-season and had little confidence in his fanfic writing, but decided to pass along said idea to me, an inveterate fic-writer for many fandoms.  I was put through the wringer this year – it’s the first time I’ve been in partial charge of a memorial service.  I am feeling better now than I did at the beginning of this year because I’ve found the strength to keep doing things that he and I liked to do together and time helps.  And again, in all of this, I had a silly little comic where a sparkly purple princess calls people “twattingler,” others make liberal use of the word that originally meant Fornication Under Consent of the King, one character swears all the time but apologizes for it, one character is contractually obligated to use Ned Flanders style cursing and there’s a fourth wall breaker and an incompetent boss with indecipherable accent and Marxist unicorns and all the rest.  No matter what was happening with my emotions I could just… take a little break and look at the funny fancomic.  Sweary She-Ra for me has been like a warm mug of tea on a cold day or a bowl of baked macaroni and cheese with a butter-cracker crust made out of the old 1960-70 something Betty Crocker cookbook.  It’s been Internet comfort food that has been sorely needed at times.  So thank you.  I just want to thank you for this funny little fan project.  I don’t think you have any idea how much it has meant to your audience.  @freedfromthegalactichivemind

And I don't know if the audience has any idea how much it has meant to me!

When I started this, things were pretty shit, weren't they? Here in the UK we'd just come out of the second Covid Lockdown, with the third expected to happen imminently; the weather was miserable, we'd barely seen our friends in months, the world in general just sucked. And I'd love to say that I felt a calling to break through that with some humour, but no... it was nothing like that. This is what happened...

And so it all went from there.

I almost just went for random scenes as I thought of them, rather than starting from the beginning. But I thought "Eh, fuck it, let's see how far I get", and the rest is history.

Even as the storylines got more complex (bear in mind, I started purely with the intention to do the original script with a few swear words peppered in), I always wanted to keep things upbeat. The painful moments are those 'this is the good stuff, hurt me more' moments rather than actually horrifying things - I know there's been a couple of exceptions, but in general it's held true.

But I've always been driven by one thing - the world isn't very funny right now; it's stressful, sometimes downright terrifying. And if I can alleviate that for ten, twenty seconds per day and make that tiny bit of difference to someone, then I consider that a job done. I'm not out here claiming to have the cure for depression, or some kind of plan to save the world, but I (hopefully) can make a few people smile in the midst of all the shit that's happening, even if it's just for a moment.

So much has changed in the last three years, but this blog has been such a central part of my world, it'll be weird when it's over (maybe that's why I don't want to stop there!). But if this coming Friday really is the last chapter in this part of my life, I'll still be happy that it happened. And if you've ever smiled or laughed at the blog, I'm happy that happened as well.

[x-stephanie-sinnz-x]

Mark and his fellow officers helped give my husband a very special birthday.

This started on Friday night when Mark texted me.

He said he can oblige me, (in responding to my question awhile back, I asked him "if he had any other police buddies willing to join?")

  Remembering that we hadn't celebrated my husband's birthday because we both had covid at the time of his actual birthday, I asked Mark if it was okay for my husband to join.

He's response was "yeah. That's cool,".

My husband was very excited and on the car ride to Mark's house, his hand was on my pussy which I remember feeling really good. Eventually we get to Mark's house and we see several police cars, SUVs, and a couple of regular cars in the driveway and in the street.

As we walked in, I introduced Mark to my husband.

Mark lead us to the kitchen were 10 other men where standing around, all ranging from aged 35 to 70, in various stages of undress.

They all cheered happy birthday!!!!

My husband smiled and quickly their hands started touching and undressing me. One of them kissed me and I immediately became complicit and willing to do whatever.

I have to apologize to you guys because I'm a pothead, and before we arrived I ate some edibles and vaped a hella wax, so from here it all became somewhat of a blur, and I had no idea where my husband was during most of this.

We where there from about 12am until 11pmish when the last guy was finished using me and left.

I don’t remember the order of what happened or when it happened but below I’ll just tell you what I remember.

- I was on my back on a bed, blindfolded and handcuffed above my head. Someone was fucking my throat, slobber all over my mouth. Someone was sucking my toes, someone else was fucking me as someone sucked on my right breast and someone sucked on my left breast.

- at some point I was face down over a bench/footstool thingy, throat being fucked as someone was balls deep in my pussy. Both hands were being used to jack 2 guys off.

- I was lying on the ground in the bathroom in the fetal position as a group of them pisssed all over my face and body. One of them shoved it into my mouth and forced me to swallow it.

- At one point my husband was cuddling me in a bed, stroking my hair telling me how awsome I am, how proud he is of me, how I was the perfect slutwife. And I loved the praise.

- One of them had this huge, and I mean huge dildo! Like 12” plus. I remember being on the floor in the living room with them sitting around jacking off as I struggled to get this massive dildo in me. They were cheering me on while I moaned and screamed as it stretched my pussy until I eventually succeeded. One of them got fed up of waiting, pinned me down by the throat and rammed it all the way up my cunt. I literally screamed a high pitch wail. I’ve never felt so full in my life! He then picked me up and sat me on a stool so it stayed fully in me and proceeded to fuck my throat to stop me from making noise.

- I remember being carried up the stares, limps practically lifeless with my energy fucked out of me, and having 3 men follow the guy carrying me. Each of them staring at me like I was their lunch and they hadn’t eaten in days. That was probably the most horny I was the entire time because I knew my husband was getting a good birthday present, he knew that each of the men near me were going to fuck me until they came.

- I remember a really fat guy, like obese and horrible, he kept shoving his cock down my throat and holding it there until I couldn’t breath.

- I remember one guy threatened to get his police k9 but he never did. I think he was just trying to scare me, lol.

- I remember getting triple stuffed. I had a dick in my pussy, one in my ass, and one in my mouth, as I jerked off one in each hand.

  I had a great time, and my husband had a great belated birthday.

I got home so exhausted that I fell asleep on my husband, but that didn't stop him from using me as his personal fuck doll.

  Stephanie Sinnz ❤️

[lemoncrushh]

The Entertainer - Track 03 - Pick a Memory

Summary: Set in the 70s, Sky Jones, a young woman from L.A., meets Harry Styles, an up-and-coming musician and frontman for the band Wildfire. Told in first person from Sky’s point of view, she shares her journey and what it’s like to fall for a rockstar.

STORY PAGE

Track 03 Word Count: 3.1k

Halo had a shift at the bookstore where she worked, but I was off so I was glad to have the apartment to myself for one afternoon. I was in my room practicing a Joni Mitchell song on guitar when the doorbell rang. I opened the door just enough to peek through the crack, the chain still on it.

“Hi,” he said hesitantly.

“Hi.”

Harry dropped his head, then looked back up at me.

“Can I come in?”

“I guess.”

I shut the door and removed the chain before reopening it and stepping back for Harry to enter. I noticed his eyes were no longer bloodshot, and his hair was wet like he’d just taken a shower. When I closed the door behind him, I got a big whiff. Yep, definitely a shower.

I followed him into the living room where he stopped next to the sofa but didn’t sit down. Instead he turned to face me, his voice still low and gravely.

“I’m sorry.”

I scratched a nonexistent itch on my arm. “Yeah, you mentioned that in your note. But what exactly are you sorry for?”

Harry dropped his shoulders and ran a hand through his hair. “Can I explain?”

I nodded, gesturing toward the couch. Harry sat down and I followed, though I made it a point to remain on the opposite end. I watched as he swallowed hard, wringing his hands nervously.

“Something happened last night.”

I wanted to make some snide remark, but I didn’t. I bit my tongue, deciding to hear him out.

“I um…after you’d left The Troubadour, someone came up to me. He claimed he was a manager and wanted to represent Wildfire. Even though we already have a manager, I agreed to have a chat with him. We sat at the bar and he bought me a drink. I was kinda feeling the effects of the show, you know? I was on this natural high, but my head was pounding, I suppose from the adrenaline. So this bloke offered me some pills. I swear, I thought they were just for a headache.”

“You took strange pills from a strange man?”

Harry groaned. “I know, it sounds ludicrous. But I had a headache and I thought they were aspirin or something.”

“What were they?”

“I dunno exactly. Probably some sort of hallucinogen like PCP. I started feeling dizzy and told the bloke I had to go. He said something about giving me a ride and for some reason I took it. He drove me here. I honestly can’t even remember giving him the address, and I dunno how I remembered it.”

“Do you even know who this guy was?” I asked.

Harry shrugged. “I think his name was French. For some reason that sticks in my mind.”

“You mean he had a French name, or his actual name was French?”

“His name was French. His last name.”

“But you’d never heard of him before?”

“No.”

“That’s…scary.”

“I know.”

“What if you hadn’t made it here, Harry? What if something worse had happened?”

“It did.”

I glared at him. “Huh?”

Harry looked down at his hands and twisted one of the rings on his finger.

“I was horrible to you,” he mumbled.

I swallowed hard and traced a pattern on the sofa.

“I don’t remember most of it, Sky. But I remember being a jerk, and you didn’t deserve that. You have to believe me when I say that wasn’t me.”

I nodded slowly. “I knew it wasn’t. You frightened me.”

Harry shifted on the couch to face me. “I’m so sorry. I don’t…I don’t do drugs like that. I don’t like not being in control. And I was completely out of control.”

I chewed my bottom lip and sat up straight. He hadn’t mentioned Simon, and I didn’t bring up his name. I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to know about that, and figured he would tell me if he wanted to.

“Apology accepted.”

Harry sighed. “Good. So…what exactly did I do?”

“You know what?” I raised my hands. “Let’s just…forget about it.”

“Alright.”

“Would you like something to drink?” I rose from the sofa.

Harry grimaced, touching his stomach. “Um…maybe just a glass of water.”

“Okay.”

I hadn’t expected Harry to follow me into the kitchen. He stood at the end of the counter, watching me fill two glasses, before handing him one.

“I do remember one thing,” said Harry after he’d emptied his glass.

Oh, no. “What’s that?”

“Your eyes.”

I felt myself start to smile, but I pursed my lips together. “What about them?”

“Um…something to do with…rain clouds.”

“Hmm.”

I averted my gaze, focusing on my glass of water as though it was the best thing I’d ever drunk in my life. Then I set the empty glass on the counter and released a deep breath.

“Sky?”

“Yes?”

“Are you ever gonna tell me your real name?”

I chuckled and shook my head. “Nope.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not important.”

“What is important then?”

I shrugged. “Music.”

“What about people?”

“Yes. Some people.”

“I wanna know more about you, Sky.”

I blinked and looked up at him. “What do you wanna know? Besides my name?”

“Why do you always wear that locket?” he pointed at the gold pendant that hung from my neck.

“Why do you always wear that cross?”

“I asked you first.”

I sighed and looked down at the necklace, fingering it for a moment before I opened the clasp.

“It’s my brother,” I said as I watched Harry’s boots when he took a step closer.

“Your brother?”

I lifted my eyes, not quite meeting his. He took the locket from my hand, cupping it gently in his own, then looked up at me questioningly.

“He died in Vietnam.”

Harry inspected the tiny photo for a while before clearing his throat.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“Thanks.” I closed the locket, making Harry’s hand fall to his side, though his face was still inches from mine.

“But why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you wear it?”

“That’s a stupid thing to ask,” I spat.

Harry shook his head. “No, it’s not. It’s a genuine question. I know why you have a picture of your brother in a locket. That makes sense. But why do you wear it everyday? All the time?”

I considered his question for a while, first wanting to yell at him that he didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about and he had some nerve. Then I thought about his words, really let them roll around in my brain. He was right. I wore it all the time. I never took it off actually, except to shower. My chest shook as the answer came to me.

“It’s been eight years,” I said softly. “He would’ve been turning thirty this year. I guess…I guess I just don’t want to forget him.”

Harry bit his bottom lip and nodded, an unspoken understanding.

“Do I get another question?” he inquired.

I smiled. “I guess so.”

“When I came to your door earlier, I could hear a guitar and singing. Was that you?”

I blushed. “Yeah.”

“It was lovely. Will you play something for me?”

“I’m not that good.”

“Please?”

I took in his expression, his eyes kind and encouraging.

“C’mon,” I said, walking toward my bedroom.

I grabbed my guitar which I’d left on the bed and slung the strap over my head.

“What would you like me to play?”

“The song you were playing before.”

“Okay…but it’s still a work in progress.”

Harry merely grinned and sat on the bed. Then he held his hand out.

“Let’s hear it.”

I nervously began to strum the chords, then took a breath to begin singing, hoping to God my voice wouldn’t crack.

“Rows and flows of angel hair And ice cream castles in the air And feather canyons everywhere I’ve looked at clouds that way But now they only block the sun They rain and snow on everyone So many things I would have done But clouds got in my way”

Harry continued to watch me as I sang and strummed, his lips spreading into a winning smile that made me weak in the knees. I had to keep my mind on the chords and the lyrics I was singing, and not the way he was making me feel, but I admit it was difficult. Why did he have to look like that?

When I reached the last chorus, I had to look away, so I pretended like I was singing to Robert Plant on the poster behind him.

“I’ve looked at life from both sides now From win and lose and still somehow It’s life’s illusions I recall I really don’t know life at all”

Harry rose from the bed and applauded when I finished, although I knew I had messed up a couple of times.

“Beautiful,” he announced.

“Thank you.” I removed the guitar and set it in its spot, my cheeks a rosy pink.

“I like your voice.”

“I like Joni’s,” I commented. I wasn’t very good at accepting compliments. “She’s probably my favorite. I love her songs.”

“She writes some good ones,” Harry agreed.

“What’s your favorite song?”

“Favorite song? Ever?”

“Yes,” I nodded, walking over to the turntable.

Harry shook his head. “That’s impossible. I can’t choose one favorite.”

“Why not?”

“Because…music isn’t about picking favorites. Songs…they’re memories.”

I blinked as I turned around, looking at him standing there next to my bed, the glow of the lamp underneath the orange scarf casting a shadow on the wall behind him.

“What do you mean?”

Harry swallowed. “Well…like, pick a memory.”

“Of when?”

“Anytime. Childhood. A memory of Halo.” His eyebrows wiggled as he grinned. “Of Comet.”

I smiled. “I have great memories of running and playing with Comet in Halo’s backyard.”

“See? Now put a song with it.”

I thought for a moment until a giggle escaped my throat.

“I used to want to be in a girl group. Like The Crystals or The Ronettes. I would sing their songs a lot as a kid, and I have a memory of performing a solo of ‘He’s A Rebel’ for Comet.”

Harry chuckled. “Perfect. Great memory, innit?”

“Yeah.” I looked down at my feet. “But not all memories are good.”

“But if you put a song with it, it is. Even if it makes you weep, Sky. It’s a good thing.”

I raised my head and smirked. “Didn’t know you were so deep.”

“‘m not. Just love music, like you.”

Harry hopped onto my bed like some young boy defying the laws of gravity and proceeded to remove his boots. I watched as he stretched out his long limbs and laid down on my pile of pillows.

“You’re right,” I admitted.

“About what, love?”

“Songs being memories. Even if they make you cry.”

“Mmhm.” Harry closed his eyes and put his arm behind his head.

“‘Daydream Believer’ does that to me.”

Harry popped open one eye. “The Monkees?”

I bit my lip and nodded. “Came out the year my brother died.”

“Oh. But that’s sort of a happy song.”

“I know. I think that’s why it made me cry. My world had just crumbled and Davy Jones was telling me to cheer up. I couldn’t listen to it for a long time.”

I stared at Harry as he rolled over onto his side and stared me right back. I half suspected him to laugh at me, but he didn’t.

“I’m sorry. I understand,” he said instead.

I sighed. “It’s okay now. It’s actually become one of my favorites. I like to think of it as my brother’s way of telling me I was gonna be okay.”

Harry blinked slowly with a nod, then laid back on the pillow. I got an idea and grabbed my smaller stack of 45s, not nearly as impressive as my LP collection. When Davy’s voice sounded, I saw the dimple dip in Harry’s cheek.

“Oh I could hide ‘neath the wings Of the bluebird as she sings The six o’clock alarm would never ring…”

I started to giggle as Harry swayed back and forth on my bed, his eyes still shut, a happy boyish grin on his face.

“Cheer up sleepy Jean…”

Harry popped his eyes open then and sang along with me. Then he sat up, grabbing the tambourine on my nightstand and hitting it against his palm. By the end of the song, I was prancing across my rug to Harry’s percussion.

“Confession,” I beamed, my cheeks already sore from laughing, “a year or so later, I developed an obsession with not only Davy Jones, but all male British singers.”

Harry winked at me. “But of course.”

I blushed.

“The real question is,” Harry said when the record had stopped and he returned my tambourine to its spot on my bedside table, “were you a Homecoming Queen?”

I shook my head hard, making my long hair fan out.

“Not even close.”

“That’s a shame. Why not?”

I shrugged, making a sound similar to “I don’t know,” though my mouth was still shut. “I was never nominated.”

“What would you have to do to be nominated?”

“Be pretty,” I mumbled.

“Well then, you should’ve won.”

Though my smile grew slowly, I couldn’t stop it. My chest heaved like I’d just run a marathon, and inside I could feel a million butterflies fluttering at once.

“Keep the records going, if you like,” Harry gestured to the turntable. “I’m enjoying it.”

“Okay.”

I turned back to my stack of 45s, hesitating when I pulled out the Buddy Holly record. Deciding I wanted to hear it, I placed it on the record player and dropped the needle. When I looked back at Harry, he was lying on his side again, his head propped up in his hand. He raised his brows as the music began to play, obviously surprised by my choice.

“Just you know why Why you and I Will bye and bye Know true love ways”

I couldn’t move. I stood in one spot in the corner of my room as Harry rose from the bed, seemingly in slow motion. Only my chest betrayed me, giving away my nerves and anticipation with each heavy breath as Harry walked towards me. Stopping in front of me, he towered over me like a tree, even without his boots. I stared at his chest, noticing for the first time how tall he was, until he gently lifted my hand, threading his fingers through mine. Then with his other hand, he clipped my chin to look at him before sliding it around my waist.

“Sometimes we’ll sigh Sometimes we’ll cry”

Harry and I swayed as the sound of the strings filled our ears. I hadn’t slow danced since the prom. He turned me around, his eyes never leaving mine. I wouldn’t have been able to look away anyway, even if I’d tried. Harry had a magical quality about him, not just on stage I realized. He was something special. Something beautiful.

I wanted him to kiss me. But I think even if he hadn’t, I would have been okay with it. I wanted to tell him how the song reminded me of my youth, of taking trips to the beach with my family and evening picnics and parties with my parents’ friends and making fun of my brother and his girlfriend when I caught them making out. But none of that mattered now. I was making my own memory.

“Throughout the days Our true love ways Will bring us joys to share With those who really care”

He kissed me softly at first, sending a chill through my entire body. My eyes fluttered open to see his face, his eyelids heavy, still focused on my mouth. He lifted his hand and dragged his thumb across my bottom lip before kissing me again, pulling me closer. I released my hand from his and brought it to his shoulder and around his neck. I felt him sigh as he kissed me deeper, his tongue meeting mine. Then he turned me around once more, guiding me backwards to the bed where he laid me down.

“Sometimes we’ll sigh Sometimes we’ll cry And we’ll know why Just you and I Know true love ways”

The record stopped, but not the music in my head. We kissed for a long time, creating a melody of our own. Harry’s hands slid up my sides, one stopping at my breast, the other continuing to my neck where he cradled my head, his fingers in my hair. He settled his body between my legs, igniting the heat that was already apparent.

Suddenly, I heard a noise, followed by a voice bellowing my name.

“Sky! Lemme in! You have the chain on!”

“Oh, shit,” I cursed.

Harry laughed and sat up. I followed, straightening my shirt before heading for the door.

“Sorry,” I whispered.

“’s alright,” he smirked, and I was pretty sure I caught a twinkle in his eye.

“Hey,” I greeted Halo when I unlatched the lock.

“What the hell, Sky? Since when do you put the chain on?”

Halo pushed past me to set a few bags on the table.

“Since forever. But I usually take it off before you get home. Just…forgot.”

“Well, I brought food,” she pointed as she went to the kitchen to get something to drink. “I thought we could eat and then you could help me with…”

It was then that she finally spotted Harry, standing just outside my doorway.

“Oh. Hi, Harry…” she furrowed her brows. “Mitch didn’t tell me you guys were coming.”

“Ah, no,” he scratched the back of his head. “Just me. I came to…talk to Sky.”

“He came to talk to me,” I echoed.

“Oh….oh!” Halo sounded, realization finally hitting her.

I heard Harry chuckle behind me. I turned slightly to catching his dimple as he smiled at his feet, which I noticed now had his boots returned to them.

“I should…probably…” Harry pointed at the front door, “…go.”

“Oh. Okay.” I didn’t bother to hide my disappointment.

I followed him to the door and told him goodbye. When I shut it behind him and leaned against it, however, I immediately opened it again.

“Harry!” I called, even though he had only just made it to the top of the landing.

“Yeah?”

Smiling, I closed the door and jogged up to him.

“Thank you.”

He smiled back. “What for?”

“For today.”

Standing on my tiptoes, I reached for his face and kissed him on the mouth. His grin widened as he gazed down at me.

“You’re welcome, darling.”

He kissed me again before turning for the stairs. I watched him descend until he’d reached the bottom and waved up at me. Then I went back inside to a very curious Halo.

Songs mentioned:

Joni Mitchell - Both Sides Now

The Crystals - He's a Rebel

The Monkees - Daydream Believer

Buddy Holly - True Love Ways

If you enjoyed, please like, reblog, comment and consider following me if you aren't already :) xo

[lryghe]

MXTX thoughts; themes

Okay so this was supposed to be a post about themes AND conventions common throughout MXTX’s writing, but I literally wrote too much for one post so I’ve split it in half. This is the half that addresses two of the most prevalent themes splayed across MXTX’s novels. Yes, this post will contain spoilers for all of MXTX’s works (though probably minor ones in terms of plot points). Expect the second half in the next week as I’m kind of busy over the next couple days!

REDEMPTION

In SVSSS, Shen Qingqiu has this genius moment where he realises that he’s now an active part of ‘PIDW’, that the people around him are actually affected by what he does. This comes in relation to (unsurprisingly) Luo Binghe, and the guilt he feels for having been so caring towards him before hurting him so soundly. And this realisation takes 70 chapters but when he does realise this, he actively starts making himself better, so that he’s ‘worthy’ of staying by Luo Binghe’s side, even after all the anguish he caused him. He’s attempting to redeem himself even from the very beginning though, because when he had transmigrated, his very first thought was to change the hand fate had dealt him, wanting to survive past his probable miserable ending in a pickle pot at the protagonists' hands. This wasn’t driven by guilt but over time the guilt complex gradually appears in the picture. 

MDZS is focused mostly on Wei Wuxian’s guilt complex and him working to forgive himself and move past his time as the Yiling Patriarch. Lan Wangji is a key factor in this, his presence being something that Wei Wuxian clings to when he comes back to life after the burial mounds siege. And it’s something so important to MDZS as a whole because it’s so lovely that although Wei Wuxian himself admits he had done horrible things, Lan Wangji is there to help him through it, and he eventually comes to forgive himself for his actions (even if the rest of the world probably hasn’t). I’ve already talked about this before on 4 separate occasions, so if you want more insight just find a post about MDZS thoughts on my page :) 

And finally, there's TGCF. The key characterisation point that Xie Lian has is the guilt he carries over the situation of Xianle and the death of just about everyone and their mum, but over the course of 800 years he eventually moves past it? He even feels guilt over how Qi Rong turned out, something that’s so stupid in the scheme of things, but he’s such an empathetic and intuitive character that he’ll stew in guilt over it anyway. I don’t think this theme is as important to TGCF because Xie Lian is also very mature (one would hope so after over 800 years of living) character, and he states (in one of my favourite quotes of all time) “rather than remembering how I was butchered and trampled hundreds of years ago, I’d prefer to remember that I ate a delicious meat bun yesterday”. And this gives important insight, because he feels the guilt but he moves past it, and Hua Cheng is central to this, helping Xie Lian realise he’s worthy of love, after 800 years of suffering.

LOYALTY

This is a rather obvious theme and I plan to actually write an analysis about loyalty in MDZS specifically, but I think we can categorise it and explore it in two different categories.

Firstly we have romantic loyalty, something that is prevalent throughout all her works considering that they are all romances. Each love interest remains steadfastly loyal to their main character, even through the rise and fall of dynasties, through death and through years of steadfast mourning. It’s so important that these characters remain loyal, because even though Lan Wangji mourns, and Luo Binghe has every chance to sleep with his future 3000 wives, and Hua Cheng could have destroyed his ashes when he lost track of Xie Lian 800 years previous, none of that occurs. They continue holding on to that loyalty and it fuels many of their motivations. You can also point out the loyalty that the main characters have for their love interests. Shen Yuan sits through 1000+ chapters of some horribly written stallion novel because he has some ridiculous crush on the protagonist of said story. Wei Wuxian has a similar type of obsession with Lan Wangji, every second thought something along the lines of ‘Lan Zhan would love this!’. And Xie Lian waits quietly at Puqi shrine for Hua Cheng, no matter how long it took for Hua Cheng to come back to him… “Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other's embrace.”

Another type of loyalty that could be explored is familial loyalty. Yi Ziyuan, Jiang Yanli, and Jin Zixuan end up dying to protect their home, dying to save their brother, and dying trying to make their wife (and by extension, son) happy. Wen Qing and Wen Ning die to protect Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian sacrifices his core for his brother. Qi Rong spends time hanging out in his aunt and uncle's tomb for some weird reason. The various peak lords of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect spend years fighting for Shen Qingqiu’s body. Xie Lian cooks horrendous food, because his mother cooked the same way and even if its not on purpose, he holds true to her memory. This loyalty is the backbone of character backstories, whereas romantic loyalty is more of a plot device, but both are equally significant. 

There’s another version of loyalty that I want to talk about, but I think I’ll save it for my eventual post on analysing loyalty in MDZS.

I may post the second half of this post in a few days (I haven’t finished writing it (I haven’t started writing it)). Until then, goodbye.

Words: 997

Reading time: 4 mins

[lostdrarryfics]

THE BIG FIND 2023: Day 3

The Big Find is a 10-day long Drarry fic-finding marathon to celebrate the blog’s anniversary. Below is the Day 3 compilation of lost fics, both old and new, that we’ve been unable to find. Our aim is to get as much attention to these lost fics as possible, to help people finally find their missing fics! Anyone can participate by reblogging, reading through each list, providing additional fic details, and informing us the title, author, or link of a fic, and their respective number in the comment section. Happy finding!

3.1 It begins with Severus punishing Harry and Draco, because he is tired of their fighting and arguing, then he takes them to an empty classroom and forces them to say three things about themselves to each other, and so on several more times. I remember he leaves some kind of hologram girl as a mediator to make sure they don’t fight. And also that they end up taking over the classroom, they take things there to hang out and everything. In addition to the fact that on one occasion they fake a fight to extend their punishment and continue spending time together. 3.2 I have this scene stuck in my head. Draco fell asleep on the roof or on the ledge of the Hogwarts castle and he ends up falling off. Harry was flying on his broom when he saw Draco fall, and of course he catches him. I can’t remember what the rating or the length of the fic was but I know it’s from an Eighth Year fic fic is not Adventures of a Suicidal Gentleman by GallaPlacidia

FOUND! 3.3 the only detail I remember is that the boys end up switching wands. I think it was an 8th year fic and Draco’s wand doesn’t work for him anymore and I think at some point draco and harry have another confrontation like the one in 6th year and draco tries to curse harry and his wand just jumps out of his hand and he starts crying. And harry ends up convincing him to switch wands cause his holly wand doesn’t work as well for him as draco’s does.

3.4 8th year fic. Pansy (and Blaise I think) found some sort of blackmailing spell that allowed them to wander around the victim’s mind without being detected. They couldn’t choose what to see so they’d just have to hope they’d stumble upon something. They used it on draco and found out about him and harry being together secretly and used it against him.

3.5 This fic was read on AO3. I can remember very little, I’m sorry. I think it goes like this. Draco and Harry start dating, but the Prophet keeps publishing nasty things. Harry tells them straight out that he will destroy them if they don’t stop. Ofc they don’t, and Harry magically blows up/ levels the building by himself. It is possible they bought out the Prophet prior to blowing up the building.

3.6 looking for a drarry fic that i read a couple of years ago (although i think it was written quite a long time ago on LJ maybe?) it’s a pre-war fic where the malfoys come over to the light side and lucius malfoy trains harry and draco in how to duel. i think there is a basement in which they teach harry how to duel? particularly remember that once they learn as much as possible from L it will be narcissa’s turn because she’s actually the better dueller. i really liked the dynamics

3.7 I read a fanfic last year. But I think it was written somewhere between 2013-2016 (I know wide range but I truly can’t remember) Set in 8th year post war. Harry is the master of death and a character named “fate” who only he can see. Becomes somewhat of a companion to him as they learn to work together. Hermione and Ron believe Harry to have gone mad. Harry and Draco somehow end up having to share a private room. They find out later in the fic that they are soulmates because they saved each others lives 3 times during the war. It’s well of 100k words and had about 60-70 chapters. I read it on AO3. I think the title was a variation of Latin?

3.8 It was in Hogwarts and after 1st or 2nd Year I think. It was soulmate universe. Everyone has a soulmate with like marks. I think Drarry and hearts in green and red. The two also lived together I think. The special part is that Drarry are true mates. And when they touch their marks glow

FOUND! 3.9 I remember reading it back in 2018, but not sure where. It is a long fic and basically rewrites books 4-7 at Hogwarts. One of the main details I remember is that there was a ring of magic trees on Hogwarts grounds that took you to a secret grove if you walked through them properly, so Draco and Harry would spend a lot of their time there. At the end, they get married on Halloween and its a big deal to Harry because its the same day his parents died.

3.10 I remember reading a fic (a ‘longer short story’-length) which features a central scene, in which a strong Harry magically ties/paralyzes Draco and forces him to have sex. He feels Dracos arousal and although Draco begs him to stop, Harry continues giving Draco a handjob. Harry continues until Draco is about to cum, then stops. Draco begs him to go on, but Harry wouldn’t (‘you wanted me to stop’) and ‘de-paralyzes’ Draco. Draco masturbates to get to his ejaculation. I think, the scene was set in a classroom, maybe on a desk. It could have been tagged as powerful!Harry or magically powerful Harry and i read it on AO3 or FF.net.

3.11 Unfortunately I don’t remember much of the setting, but rather the dynamics between Harry and Draco. Draco finds out that Harry is gay and begins to fantasize about it. His fantasies focus on anal sex and: faeces! At first he feels disgusted and despises Harry for his alleged ‘dirty’ sexuality – if Harry is gay, he likes anal sex and thus he likes excrements. Gradually Draco becomes involved in these fantasies and his homophobic reflex loosens. He begins to like his fantasies and wants to have sex with Harry. This process is not a linear progress but a flip-flopping. The story had a medium length, it was not part of a larger series. I must’ve read it on AO3 or FF.net.

3.12 multi chapter war fic and some Slytherins (Draco and I think Blaise, Millie, Pansy and Greg) have defected to the Order. The Order has essentially imprisoned them in a safe house of sorts where order members go when they need a rest and some healing. They are not told of how the war is going but think that it’s not going well due to the number of injuries they see go through the house. Eventually, Harry shows up. Draco and Harry begin talking and even bed sharing at times, and eventually the order wins the war. The fic was kinda gritty and I believe explicit. More info: the one I’m after starts when the Slytherins are already in the safe house and they defect voluntarily. Harry doesn’t show up until way later. fic is not Wayward Slytherins by Aramarthiel

3.13 i think harry sets fire to a shop and he gets reprimanded by the aurors, so he gets sent to hogwarts for some kind of punishment (?) and draco is also there, maybe as a professor. it’s a pretty slow burn and draco is getting married to astoria but doesn’t in the end. harry is pretty hung up on ginny for most of the fic too

3.14 there was a small plot point where one of them got a tummy bug and then the other got a uti after doing stuff with them and they both talked about it after figuring out what happened. i think it was during hogwarts, and they were pretty comfortable with each other, and on a personal not it made the fix realistic and nice to me cause most fics dont really talk about bathroom stuff, just major plot. i read it several years ago so i have no idea if its still on ao3. i think it was multichapter i can’t remember if it was completed (probably?)

[troperrific]

@amoransia

Hi! I agree!! I do think Leah also cares immensely for Priest as a person; I think I generalized the Church side way too much on this post. I should've made it clearer, lol. Actually, while I was typing this reply, I thought that maybe she does care for him, but she'd still be capable of putting those feelings away for the greater good, but then I remembered how she was willing to give away the location of Asmodeus' purified wing in order to save -

Barbara, instead of focusing on exorcizing Beelzebub 🧐 So yeah, I think you're completely right!! Leah's more conflicted about it than Imuri is (since she's not human), so it's not as clear as Imuri's disagreement, if that makes sense?

Hope you don’t mind me answering this as a post, because I have waaaay too many thoughts about this.

So, when I was talking in the tags about who’s currently thinking about Priest as a person, it was more about inner reasoning and what takes priority rather than whether what they’ll have Priest do after.

Like, the inner reasoning that takes priority to the Witches and the Church as factions, regarding waking Priest up, is his role as a key piece in the grand scheme of the fate of the world. Essentially, it’s about what he symbolizes and what he can do rather than him as a person.

With Imuri, like you said, it’s about who he is specifically to her. Her beloved, the guy she’s in love with. It’s a personal reason, so she’s the one seeing him as a person.

It’s difficult to say what weights more in Leah’s mind, but the reason she presents to Imuri in chapter 70 so they can go get Priest together does explicitly mention that they should do so because a) it’s their responsibility that he reached such a point and b) she wants to talk and apologize to him. This sort of inner reasoning does make me think she’s still thinking of him more as a person than a soldier or a weapon or a symbol.

But whether she’d put her feelings aside for the greater good or choose to prioritize Priest as a person and friend is a more complicated matter.

First, because although the situation with Barbara does show Leah is willing to choose her loved ones over the world, it’s worth mentioning that Barbara is much closer and more important to Leah than Mr. Priest.

That nuance is important. This is also why Priest worries about Imuri first and then about other people more as the series progresses.

And second, well…

Because Leah has swayed between the two for pretty much the whole manga.

In a more ‘lower stakes’ way, but sure. One of the clearest examples is regarding her role in separating Imuri from Priest.

In a general sense, Leah sorta takes the middle way when it comes to her role as a “spy”. On one hand, she abides by the Church’s orders to spy on Imuri and Priest, and is often intruding on their dates or lurking nearby. On the other hand, she acts more like a chaperone than anything else, and still lets them interact plenty, because she sees how happy Priest is around Imuri, even if that’s technically detrimental to her mission in separating the two.

There’s a scene in… chapter 54, I think, where Leah and Barbara are at their hotel during the aftermath of Priest destroying the school, and despite Barbara questioning her, because they should be monitoring Imuri and Priest as per orders, Leah does not follow them to the remains of the school, allowing them that moment of privacy and intimacy and comfort, while she thinks about the way Priest relies on Imuri, emotionally speaking (and we do see how he needed that time alone with Imuri, to be comforted and vulnerable and forgiven. it’s doubtful he would have gotten that had Barbara and Leah followed them).

So here you have Leah prioritizing Priest as a person.

But back in Part 2, Leah did go against Priest’s wishes to respect other people’s privacy, going behind his back and doing her best to collect samples for DNA analysis from both Leviathan and Imuri on the basis of pure suspicion and try to hack Imuri’s phone and laptop.

An example of Leah prioritizing her duty to the Church and the greater good.

So Leah has not fully committed to either thing as of yet, in my opinion.

I have no idea what’s Leah going to do about this situation, or she’s ever going to pick a stance about Priest’s situation, but it’s worthy mentioning that there have been quite a few panels dedicated to her hesitation:

So who knows what her (possible) eventual decision will be.

Her caring about Priest aside, there are other factors that influence her hesitation between the two “choices”: the fact that she’s the only character who doesn’t really use ideological or philosophical arguments to justify herself, her dislike of overriding other people’s agency and even beliefs (to the point she’ll apologize to Barbara for not letting her die, and call it “stabbing her in the back”, because it denied Barbara’s own resolution), her lack of confidence in her own judgment, her belief that she (and thus her actions) is insignificant and inconsequential, her self-perceived debt to the Church (they not only saved her, but her actions caused a domino effect that killed 79 of their exorcists) and consequently, her submissiveness to her superior officers, her great sense of empathy (she’s always listening and watching others, trying to understand multiple sides and people), etc.

Leah is probably the only character who doesn’t implace her values onto Priest, nor does she want nor expects anything from him.

But her occasional passiveness also doesn’t help (though, admittedly, there’s very little she can do to actually help him).

Considering that this is the Sloth arc, I wonder if Leah will be pushed to make a decision (as uncertainty and inaction can sometimes fall under the sin of sloth)…

Sorry for rambling, this was such a long-winded way to say that I don’t know what Leah would choose.

But, regardless of what she chooses, she’d definitely see herself as a betrayer (be it because she chooses the world over her friend, or makes a decision that’d still hurt Priest and choose him over the world).

Thus her placement as the Judas to Mr. Priest’s Jesus in Part 2.

[astrababyy]

No it’s so weird that Rhys in ACOFAS was like “I don’t know what to get her for her birthday. I’m so much older than her.” And that’s after it’s mentioned in the first book that Alis’s sons (grandsons?) are what? Like 70? And they’re considered children to the fae? And Tamlin, who was considered too young to participate in the first war (wasn’t he in his 20s-100s at that time? I don’t remember), being hounded by a much older Amarantha at that time???? It’s like???? SJM????? WHY would you write that???? It’s not funny, it’s weird????? It sounds like what grandparents say about their grandkids??? What sugar daddies think about what to get their sugar babies??? What the older person in a weird age gap relationship (think 20/60) would think???? What is her obsession with age like that??

NOT THE SUGAR DADDY LMAOOO she’s so obsessed with age and for what??? do y’all remember that part in acosf where nesta’s like saying gwyn is like a child to cassian when nesta’s like the same age as her… i cannot with this series istg.

anon, this ask made me cringe (not at you). the fact that she wrote that is CRIMINAL 🙈

it’s SO bad, anon. it’s not even funny at this point. why would she write something like that??? genuinely, genuinely, what was going through her mind when she wrote that?

i just checked the quote where alis mentions her grandsons, and it implied that they’re still children after over 50 years. it could be a disconnect between faeries and high fae, but the illyrians don’t age in the same way alis’ grandsons seemed to. it’s also just really boring to make all the actual faeries with actually interesting traits be freaking background characters. and i don’t understand what the point was in writing that then going back on it in future books. like… why???

and then there’s the whole unacknowledged fact that tamlin has been hounded on and harassed by amarantha since he was a freaking child. that’s so disturbing, and there are STILL people who say tamlin should’ve given himself up to her to protect his court. like that’s genuinely such a disgusting thing to say. imagine thinking giving in to a tyrant is a better alternative to fighting for freedom till the end… it’s giving edgy tumblr, and not in a good way.

this also happens a lot throughout the series. sjm will write something for a brief dramatic effect in that moment, which will have bigger consequences because it will affect the quality of the story later on. istg, half the bad parts of this story would not have made it to print if sjm had a halfway decent editor.

a lot of this is also due to the disconnect between the first book and the future ones. many people say that the first book seems more whimsical than the others, which is very much true. the characters have a different way of aging than the humans to act on the theme of fae being very different than humans. whereas, when feyre’s made fae in the future books, this no longer becomes necessary and everything’s altered.

on a side note, some of these examples are so absurd, i can’t believe they’re real, anon 😭 sjm makes so much money from acotar. she should be treating this book series way more seriously. her fan base is so loyal, and she’s got no respect for them, their time, or their money. they never hold her accountable for jack shit so she gets away with contrived bullshit like this. it’s so pathetic.