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#-until angered; are skinny etc.
starlitships-moved · 1 year
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OK..... This HAS to be the most embarrassing thing I've ever hyperfixated on... to the point where when I realized I was starting to fixate on it, (which started yesterday) I literally went, "oh no........"
And THEN I started to develop a little crush(?)/fixation (honestly idk anymore) on a specific character in the series, and got even MORE embarrassed.... >///>
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scorpihoe1111 · 6 months
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Astrology Observations-Part 2🌙
Having both Taurus and Aries placements in a chart can indicate someone who enjoys pressuring/embarrassing people when underdeveloped. These people can be actual bullies towards others when they’re at their worst.
Gemini rising’s/Mercury in the 1H look younger than they actually are.
Scorpio rising women are sometimes shorter than average while Scorpio rising men are taller than average.
8H moon’s can have dreams about scenarios that end up happening IRL.
Capricorn Rising’s usually have a skinny/bony appearance.
Whatever sign and house Saturn is in your chart can tell you what other people’s karma is for messing with you. Ex: Taurus Saturn in 7H? Taurus is a Venusian sign so it rules over beauty/appearance as well as luxury and money and the 7H signifies relationships, partnerships and marriage etc. Their karma may be their physical appearance looking uglier, plus going broke as well as their relationships/love life going downhill.
People with Scorpio in the 6H may prone to UTI’s/yeast infections or very heavy and painful monthly periods.
Cancer Rising’s may attract a lot of jealousy because of how intelligent they are (Gemini 12H)
Aries Rising men are usually buff and naturally muscular in appearance.
Aquarius in the 11H can attract multiple friend groups from all walks of life way more easily than the average person.
Pisces Moon/Venus are a lot more skilled in manifesting the things they want than they think they are.
Venus/Libra in the 12H can signify a lot more people than you think having a crush on you/being attracted to you. Your secret admirers just keep it to themselves because they assume you already know and don’t wanna boost your ego.
Leo, Libra, Scorpio and Capricorn rising women consistently attract men who neg them as a way of trying to get them to notice them.
Sagittarius placements (esp mercury) are blunt and rude in their speech but they don’t mean any harm by it, they just say whatever they’re thinking.
Virgo placements on the other hand are also blunt, but they over analyze every encounter and conversation they have so they usually know what’s rude to say and what’s not. So if a Virgo’s saying shady things towards you, they mean it.
Libra Venus’ can not remain in a relationship if there isn’t constant flirting. It’s also important not to let yourself go if you’re in a relationship with them because they are visual asf.
12H sun’s rarely get acknowledgment for the good they do but get a lot of attention for the mistakes they make.
12H suns can also be kind of gullible and naive growing up.
Mercury in the 2H usually don’t like to talk about things that aren’t factual or don’t benefit them in some way.
Mars in the 12H can be prone to high blood pressure due to internalizing their anger most of the time.
Venus in the 1H are very attractive, even if not conventionally handsome/pretty there’s something very aesthetically pleasing about their facial features and their overall vibe.
Venus in 1H can also do no wrong in the eyes of the public. Basically pretty privilege.
Same goes for Pisces Risings ⬆️ they usually get away with a lot due to their innocent demeanor.
Your moon sign is usually a prominent sign in your mother’s chart.
Saturn in the 8H might not lose their virginity until later in life, or at least not as soon as their peers.
Your rising sign can tell you what everyone was feeling or what was going on during the time of your birth.
Leo women have this tendency of leaving or cheating on men who are good to them for guys who are terrible people. (Not all Leo women of course, but I’ve seen soooo many Leo girls do this)
Pisces men are very, very confusing. The type of person to be married for years with kids and still try to keep up with what you got going on in your life.
Cancer in the 12H usually have issues with women/mother in their life.
Aries Venus prefer the chase more than the actual relationship.
Scorpio/8H placements have an inherent fear of their spouse/loved ones dying.
Pisces mars are freakier in bed than most people think.
Moon sextile Neptune manifest through their dreams a lot.
Sun in the 5H is someone who doesn’t take life too seriously and prefers fun over responsibility a lot of the time.
Mars in Scorpio are more revengeful and unforgiving than any other Scorpio placement honestly. These people can get revenge and still not be happy.
Mars in Sagittarius usually have lots of flings and hookups throughout their life.
TW!: Some underdeveloped Virgo men have a weird tendency to actually want to harm women mentally and emotionally. They’re not the type to just break up with a partner and move on, they usually want to make the breakup as fucked up as possible so the thought of them remains in the persons mind forever. I’ve met over 6 Virgo men who’s admitted to this before and the girl didn’t even do anything wrong in the relationship, they just didn’t wanna be with her anymore but didn’t want her to forget them.
Capricorn women usually have very long, flowing luscious hair.
Part 3 coming soon 🌪️
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johnnysuhbmarine · 4 months
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What's my Problem? That's Easy, You.
Pairing: Haechan x reader Description: There’s no one on this planet that you hate more than your roommate’s best friend, Haechan, and he hates you back just the same. Though, sharing a best friend meant you had to see him all the time. When giving into one impulse desire ends with the two of you making out, it quickly develops into a friends (or enemies) with benefits relationship that the two of you agree to keep quiet about. Surely nothing could go wrong, right?  Content warnings: swearing, insults, talk about sex, Haechan in skinny jeans, Haechan’s girlfriend (later ex) is really mean to him, lots of eye rolling and head shaking, sexual harassment from reader’s professor, death (not a main character but it affects Haechan), lots of making out…taking off shirts…etc, Haechan is hot and arrogant but kind of a loser when it comes to y/n (eventually), mention of a choking kink, corpse lyrics, they have sex but it’s closed-door/SFW, Haechan makes one really poor decision, angst with a happy ending. Please let me know if I’ve missed anything. Word count: 21,108 :) A/n: Happy Haechan day! This has been in the works for entirely too long, but I’m excited to finally release a longer fic rather than one shots. This was only written because I had to do something after seeing Haechan in the ISTJ dance practice video cause he’s never left my mind since. Shout out to @fullsunstrawberry for listening to me talk about this fic instead of me actually writing it. Hey bestie, *waves* it’s finally finished :) Please enjoy, or don’t…I can’t tell you what to do. As always, feedback would be GREATLY appreciated :)
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You open the door to your apartment-style dorm room, and when you see a figure on the couch, you assume it’s your best friend and roommate, Jessica. The two of you met in a class last year and you were over the moon at the idea of rooming with her for the rest of university rather than the roommates you currently had at the time. However, instead of laying eyes on your best friend, it’s a guy you’ve never seen before, casually sprawled out on your couch. You jump in surprise and furrow your eyebrows as you address his presence. “Wha- who are you?!”
He moves his gaze from the TV up to where you were, still at the door. “Haechan…Jessica’s best friend? I’m sure she’s talked about me. Who are you?” He replies in a condescending tone, looking completely unenthused to be talking with you and, within seconds, you were beginning to feel much the same. You shake your head, annoyed.
“No, I’m the one who lives here so I’m asking the questions. What are you doing here? How did you get in?” You ask, though now just wondering how long it would be until he left. 
He looks at you as though you were stupid, like talking to you was a waste of his time. Regardless, he gives you somewhat of an answer. “Are you dense? I’m hanging out with Jessica today. She let me in before she went back to go get ready.”
You freeze, anger coursing through your veins at the audacity of this guy. “I’m not dense. God, I hate people like you.” You spit back. Haechan raises his brows tauntingly. 
“‘People like me’ as in?”
“Arrogant dickheads whose brain power is just used to keep track of how many beds they’ve been in.” You finish, rolling your eyes before moving to set down your backpack and grab what you actually came back to your dorm for - your purse. You miss the devilish smirk that Haechan bears on his face, but you don’t miss the cocky laugh that escapes his figure before he speaks up again as you cross the room.
“Strange, I don’t remember bringing up my sex life before this. It must be on your mind then, huh?” He replies seriously, getting you to pause again. You ball your hands into fists, taking a few steps so that you were back in each other’s line of sight before arguing with him some more. 
“This is exactly what I’m talking about. You think everyone is thinking about sex with you. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not that attractive.” You say, more than glad when your last statement came out firm and serious…you typically weren’t good at lying.
Haechan lets out another laugh, stretching his arms up and bringing his hands together at the back of his head. “Yeah?” He questions lazily. “You’re not that hot yourself, sunshine.”
The nickname has your blood boiling. “Never call me that again. Besides, it doesn’t even make sense. You say I’m not hot and then call me sunshine. You know the sun is 15 million degrees Celsius, right?” You remark, but instead of making Haechan feel stupid, you seemingly gave him more ammunition.
“Oh,” he says as though he just figured out the answer to life. “So, you’re a nerd. I get it.” He adds, a stupid grin on his face.
You furrow your brows. “What?”
“You don’t get out much do you? Just spend all your time memorizing pointless facts and praying someone along the way finally has to find that attractive since you know you won’t pull a guy with your looks?”
You freeze, in a deadlocked stare with Haechan, both of your gazes filled with resentment. It wasn’t a pointless fact - you were an astronomy and physics double major, but saying that wouldn’t provide him with anything but more reason to call you a nerd, and the last thing you felt like doing was addressing the part about your looks. Instead, you shake your head, then motion to the purse you were now carrying rather than your backpack. “I’m going out right now, thank you very much. God. Tell Jessica to let me know whenever you’re going to be over. I’ll make sure to never be home for it. I don’t know how she can tolerate someone like you.” You spit out, turning to open the front door again.
“Right back at you.” Haechan replies, not letting up on his glare until the door’s completely closed again, then turning lazily back to the TV just as Jessica walks out from the bathroom.
“Were you on the phone? Who were you just talking to like that?” She questions, eyebrows raised, more than curious at the identity of who riled up Haechan like that.
Haechan shakes his head. “No, I wasn’t on the phone. Your roommate came in…and then left again.” 
Jessica’s face drops from curiosity to disbelief. “You were arguing with y/n like that?!”
Haechan shrugs. “If that’s the name of your irritating roommate, then yeah.” Jessica rolls her eyes, doing the mental calculations of how long this semester was going to feel with her two best friends hating each other.
When you get back from bar and trivia night with your friends a few hours later, your living room couch is back to just being occupied by Jessica. You smile at her as you walk in and lock the door behind you, but her face when you turn back around is more grave than you think you’ve ever seen.
“We’re gonna have to talk about you and Hyuck.” She says seriously, causing your eyebrows to furrow.
“Who the hell is Hyuck?” You laugh, and Jess just rolls her eyes playfully, nodding her head to motion for you to sit down next to her on the couch.
She looks you in the eyes intently. “Haechan.” She says, and your playful demeanor drops in an instant. “His real name is Donghyuck- but that’s besides the point. Look, he’s been my best friend for more than half of my life. He’s had an extra key to wherever I’m living every year of college so far…”
“No.” You answer firmly, and Jessica sighs.
“Y/n, he’s not a bad guy-” She starts, but you shake your head.
“I don’t care if he’s bad, I care that he’s the most aggravating person I’ve ever met. I don’t want him to have a key to this place.”
Jessica raises her eyebrows. “Not even if it doubles as a safety mechanism having someone other than the two of us be able to get in here should we need help?”
Technically, that could come in handy, but you don’t care. “No.” You reply, trying your best to be dismissive of the topic, but it’s apparently really important to Jessica.
“Y/n…” She says softly, and you roll your eyes with a huff of breath.
“Fine, but he’s not allowed to just come over whenever he’s bored. You two need to have set plans for him to use his extra key.” 
“Deal!” She says as she lights up, and you try to imagine yourself in her position - you’d probably want to keep the tradition of giving your best friend an extra key, too…though your other best friend wouldn’t be as annoying as Haechan. Regardless, you liked seeing Jessica happy, and if this was what it took, then so be it.
A week later, you and Jessica found yourselves sitting on the couch watching Bones, a typical after-homework routine. It became disgustingly less typical when your attention was turned to the sound of a key unlocking the door to your dorm. You hide your groan but nothing stops your eye roll as soon as you see Haechan. His gaze passes right over you as he greets Jessica, apparently his goal today was just to pretend you didn’t exist. You couldn’t be too peeved - the last thing you wanted to do was talk to him. However, you could be mad because you don’t remember Jessica saying anything about having plans with him today, and you watch as your one guideline for him having an extra key slips down the drain. 
Jessica doesn’t think anything of it, of course she wouldn’t, he’s one of her best friends. “Hey Hyuck, we’re watching Bones if you want to join.” She says neutrally. Somewhere along the line, Haechan must have figured out you weren’t just a demon in one of his nightmares, because you had the pleasure of being the subject of his reply.
“Not if she’s still going to be here, too.” He says sternly, causing you to scoff.
“I was here first, you dick.”
At your side, Jessica sighs, seeming to know exactly where this was going as Haechan’s eyes light with fire. “Okay idiot, and I was her friend first.” He spits back, making you clench your jaw…and a fist. A multitude of insults could be thrown your way and you would’ve brushed it off, but ‘idiot?’ That gets under your skin every time. Though, because you were Jessica’s best friend, she knew that, and immediately jumped to calm you down. 
“Okay…” She says, gently grabbing you by the shoulders and settling you back down into the couch. “Y/n, you are not an idiot, I promise. And Hyuck…” she continues, moving her flat gaze over to him. “You’re not a dick - though you make it very hard to defend you sometimes.” As Jessica finished, her gaze flicked back and forth between you and Haechan. The two of you shot your gaze off towards completely different walls of the dorm, refusing to look at the other even in the slightest. Jessica waited five seconds for either of you to say anything, but when that didn’t happen, she spoke up again.
“You guys are insufferable.” She begins with a sigh. “You know it’s my birthday this weekend. I was looking forward to being able to spend it with my best friends…all of them.” Her words are soft and you know she’s serious. Your shoulders drop.
“Where are you going with this?” You ask, immediately shutting your eyes in preparation for the answer you knew you wouldn’t want to face.
“Is it even in the realm of possibility for the two of you to get along for just one night? One dinner?” Jessica asks hopefully. You and Haechan finally whip your heads around to face Jessica, a matching look of terror on both of your faces.
“No.”
“Absolutely not.” You respond at the same time.
Jessica rolls her eyes, and you hate it because it meant your responses actually put her in a sour mood…and all you ever wanted as her best friend was for her to be happy. The horrible news is that she knew this, and used it to her advantage against the both of you. “If I put you on opposite sides of the table, could you at least be civil? For me.” She adds, the cherry on top of her already disheartened tone.
You and Haechan take one small glance at each other, enough to reach the same conclusion before you both respond. “Fine.” A smirk reaches Jessica’s face and you shake your head, getting up from the couch to instead find solace in your bedroom, letting Haechan take your spot without another word.
In what you thought was too little time, it was already the evening of Jessica’s birthday dinner. The dress code was fancier than you were used to, but all you had time for was one sigh at yourself in the mirror before Jessica was rushing you out the door. The two of you getting in the car must have been the trigger for her to start going over the game plan again, because the first thing she said as she pulled out of the parking lot of your dorm was, “there’s going to be thirteen of us there tonight. You and Haechan won’t be anywhere near each other, but even so, please just try and not hate him an overwhelming amount tonight.” 
You drop your head to face your lap with a laugh. “Don’t worry. You know me, you know the last thing on my mind is ruining your birthday. I’ll be good.” 
Her light laugh and nod in response let you know she believed you, and as she pulled to a stop light she looked your way for a moment. “You look gorgeous, by the way.” 
You roll your eyes but it doesn’t stop the smile from spreading across your face. “Look who’s talking.” You say seriously. Your best friend was always gorgeous, but times like these it was hard to do anything but stare. Jessica shakes her head.
“Well, you know. ‘Dress to impress’ and all that.” She replies, and you whip your head towards her, your words coming out as though you were frightened.
“Who are you trying to impress? Please don’t tell me it’s Haechan. Oh my God. No. I can stand the two of you being friends but you cannot date him or I might die.” 
At this, Jessica rolls her eyes, taking time to laugh rather than save you from your worst nightmare. “Y/n, how many times have I talked to you about guys in a romantic sense? Has any of it ever been about Haechan? No.” She answers for you. “It’s always been about…” This time she drags off and leaves you to fill in the blanks yourself. You finally get over the horror that could have faced you and your mind clears, causing you to light up.
“Mark! Wait, Mark is coming?!” You ask excitedly, making her laugh some more.
“Yes, Mark is coming. We are really good friends, after all. I’m just thinking if he sees me all dressed up, he’ll finally realize he has to ask me on a date sooner than later or someone else will. I’m getting tired of waiting for his dorky ass.” She replies, and you raise your eyebrows - you know she would wait forever for Mark, not that she necessarily should, but she would.
The two of you arrive at the restaurant to find out you were the first ones there for the party and start on checking in for the reservation. Then, as you both turn around from the host stand, you’re greeted with Mark and Haechan walking in together. You’re sure Mark looked great, but you would be lying if you said you even took one look at him. Instead, all of your attention was on Haechan, his white button-up tightly hugging his body, the look complete with rolled-up sleeves. You did your best not to stare, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyways, he wasn’t paying any attention to you. Instead, he was now entirely engrossed in conversation with Mark and Jessica. You don’t even know if he knew you were here, and in that moment you realized tonight was going to prove a lot harder than you originally thought, because you hated Haechan an overwhelming amount. 
Thankfully, the rest of the party arrived soon after and you were all quickly seated, Jessica in the middle with you and Haechan at complete opposite ends as promised. Instead, you got to sit and talk with Winter and Jisung. Overall, you really couldn’t complain. Winter was one of the first friends you made on campus. On the other hand, you and Jisung had been partnered for a project one semester that saw the two of you sharing way too many 2:00 am coffees as you tried to squeeze the semester project into the span of two weeks - your friendship with Jisung feels more so like the result of trauma bonding, but you wouldn’t have traded it for the world. 
That being said, dinner went pretty smoothly. After eating your main course, you excused yourself to use the bathroom, but you didn’t even make it ten steps before you realized you were being trailed. As you step into the hallway where the doors to the restrooms were, you turn around to face Haechan. “Really? You couldn’t wait until I was back at the table?” You ask plainly. Haechan furrows his brows.
“I didn’t plan this. I didn’t even realize you had gotten up from the table. I wasn’t paying any attention to you.” He remarks, and you roll your eyes.
“Right, all you ever do is pretend I don’t exist. How could I forget?” You say sarcastically.
Haechan scoffs, shaking his head. “Well, all you do is hate me for existing, so I feel like it’s a pretty even balance. Besides, every time I acknowledge your existence, it ends up like this.” 
You pause for a moment, glaring at Haechan. Was it truly easier to pretend you didn’t exist rather than deal with the fact that you do. “I hate you.” You finally say. Haechan feigns surprise, moving a hand over his heart as if he’s just been shot. Though, his face neutralizes in an instant.
“I hate you, too. Can we get on with why we’re actually here now?” He asks, nodding his head towards the men’s room as he looks towards you with disinterest. You clench your jaw, not bothering to give him a verbal response as you walk into the ladies room, where you finally let yourself breathe again. 
The rest of the dinner party went by quickly, and suddenly it was just you and Jessica back in her car. “Well, that went really well!” She said, beaming. You could hardly match the enthusiasm, though.
“Yeah…”
She chanced a look over at you, eyebrows furrowed. “Did it not go really well?”
“It was fine.” You reply softly, shaking your head. You didn’t want to ruin the night now after appearing to have successfully made it through dinner.
“You two weren’t even around each other.” She says, her underlying tone letting you know how confused she was.
“We ran into each other by the bathrooms.” You say, shrugging in your seat.
Jessica grimaces. “Didn’t go well, I’m guessing.”
You let out a heavy, defeated sigh. “I don’t understand what his problem is.”
“He doesn’t have a problem.” Jessica replies with a light laugh, and you shoot your gaze over to her in question.
“Really? So, he’s just always a dick?” You ask, trying your best to keep your tone light while also letting her know that, if that’s normal Haechan, you were harshly judging her choice of friends.
Jessica smiles, a small laugh coming out that’s more so just an exhale. “No…but maybe the issue is just the fact that you hate him. Maybe if you were a little nicer to him, he would calm down, too.” She says, doing her best to be convincing, but you just shake your head.
“I don’t want to be nice to him. Not ever.” You say firmly, and surprising you, Jessica just shrugs lightly.
“Well, I tried.”
You frown, looking over at her in the driver’s seat. “Sorry…it was a really fun birthday party, though.” You say, hoping she knew that Haechan didn’t ruin your day and praying that in turn, you didn’t ruin hers.
There seemed to be no reason to worry, though, because at the mention of the actual dinner party, Jessica lit back up. “Oh, you don’t need to tell me. I had a blast, and you and Haechan took care of all your fighting off-screen. Doesn’t bother me any.” She replies with a laugh, getting you to lighten up, too. Creating cause for excitement in itself, conversation for the rest of the drive back had nothing to do with Haechan. Instead, you learned that Mark did, in fact, figure out that his window of opportunity was closing and now he and Jessica have an official date tomorrow. In other words, the two of you squealed the rest of the way home.
It was close to a week later when you next saw Haechan again. It took Mark and Jessica one date to realize that they wanted to make things official, so you ended up seeing Mark around much more often than Haechan for a little bit. Though on Friday, the familiar turn of the key in the door was heard while you and Jessica were watching Bones in the living room, and you knew your mortal enemy was making his comeback after six days. 
Jessica paused the TV and you immediately got up from the couch, bringing your empty bowl of ramen to the kitchen so you could start on cleaning it. Then, Haechan finally made his way through the front door. You don’t bother looking up to greet his presence, he never did for you anyways. However, in an instant, Jessica was off the couch and grabbed Haechan by the wrist, stopping him from sitting down. 
“You look like you’ve been crying.” She says as Haechan turns to look at her.
He shakes his head solemnly. “No, I’m fine. They just wanted me to try a new brand of contacts since my other ones got discontinued, but these irritate my eyes. I just haven’t had the chance to go back and switch brands again, and I’m not really in the mood to pay for more contacts and waste all the money I just spent on these.”
“Take them out.” She replies instantly, and Haechan lets out something of a forced laugh.
“Well that’s the thing, these are weekly contacts, and I don’t have a case or solution with me to store them…and I don’t want to buy all that just for me to possibly switch back to daily contacts again soon.”
Jessica lets his wrist drop, seemingly understanding. From the kitchen, you shake your head, not remembering when you became so invested in the first place. In an instant, you finish with your bowl and head to your room without a word. 
You lasted in your bedroom doing homework for about an hour, which, everything considered, you thought was pretty good, but then you couldn’t stand the constant noise anymore from the other side of your bedroom wall. You threw all of your things into your backpack, getting up and storming out of the room.
“Agh! I hate his guts! I’m going to the library.” You proclaim loudly as you step back out towards the living room. 
On the couch, Haechan looks over at Jessica. “She talks about me a lot, doesn’t she? I didn’t even do anything this time.” He says with a laugh, but you just glare at him.
“Grow up, not everything is about you.” You spit out before heading towards the door.
Jessica waits for you to be completely gone before she ever answers Haechan. “Ha, she’s actually talking about our neighbor on the right. Their bedrooms share a wall and he has an unrivaled sex drive. I think she was traumatized the first time she heard…it. Though now, it’s just extra noise and it irritates the hell out of her when she’s trying to study.” Haechan’s jaw drops in surprise, the corners of his mouth wavering as he tries not to laugh. Jessica shakes her head, a smile coming onto her face. “It’s a little bit funny.” She says, getting Haechan to finally break into a smile too before continuing their conversation from before you left. Though, with it being a Friday, it wasn’t too much longer before they themselves were out of the house, though their destination was the bar instead of the library.
The next few nights came and went, until suddenly it was Tuesday again, when Haechan and Jess typically grabbed dinner together. You were doing homework at the coffee table, figuring a change in scenery would help you focus - that and the fact that your neighbor on the right was having another fun night. Jessica was still getting ready in her room when Haechan walked in through the front door. From the couch, you move your gaze towards him, figuring out he’s been holding out on you when it comes to his clothes. Today, he showed up in a black t-shirt, totally normal and fine, though said shirt was tucked into blue skinny jeans, not totally normal nor fine. 
“You’re staring.” Haechan says, bringing you back to real life. You shake your head, finally meeting his disinterested eyes.
“You don’t need to wear skinny jeans ever again.” You say flatly, and Haechan just scoffs before letting a smirk cross his face.
“My girlfriend wouldn’t take kindly to you telling me what to do.” He replies, and the news of a girlfriend only shocks you for a second before you snap back.
“Girlfriend? Wow, maybe you’ll get less annoying now that you’ve found someone willing to suck your dick.” You say, your face lighting up, although your tone conveyed how little hope you actually had in that happening.
Haechan narrows his eyes at you, his smirk turning evil. “Oh, I have a long, distinguished list of willing volunteers. Have you found anyone willing to suck yours yet?”
“Very funny.” You reply monotonously. Haechan just rolls his eyes, about hitting his limit of words spoken to you for the day.
“Where’s Jess?” He asks, his typical disinterest when it comes to you now back in his tone. You shake your head before nodding it in the direction of her room, not wanting to bother with actually talking to him anymore, either.
The next week, a casual Thursday night that you and Jessica thought you had to yourselves was disrupted with a soft knock on the door, and Jessica moved from the couch to open it, promptly stepping back to let Haechan inside, and you hate the fact that his loophole to not using his front door key unless he actually had plans with Jessica was just to knock instead. He walks in normally, but Jessica grabs his forearm with raised eyebrows. “Why aren’t you wearing your glasses?” She asks, considering the conversation from a little over a week ago.
You watch from the couch as Haechan visibly gulps, dropping his head to try and cover up his saddened expression. “...she doesn’t like when I wear them.” He states, and immediately you and Jessica both know he’s talking about his girlfriend. Despite never meeting her, you hated her guts. Ever since she got with Haechan, all she’s done is be toxic. You know so, because Haechan ends up at your dorm basically every night seeking comfort from Jessica after his girlfriend spends their dates degrading him the entire time.
You immediately pop up from the couch and storm to your room, slamming the door behind you, though that was more so accidental. How Haechan’s girlfriend treated him was none of your business, and not worth you getting worked up over, but his constant need to decompress in Jessica’s presence meant you had to see him a lot more than you would have ever liked, and that’s where you started having problems. If his girlfriend was actually nice and cared about him, you probably would have never had to see him again because he’d be spending so much time with her…it was your luck that the opposite happened. 
Almost two weeks passed of seeing Haechan every single day, and you started just strictly staying in your room any time past 5:00 to try and avoid seeing him completely. Though, when the next Tuesday rolled around, you were the one to open the door in response to the firm knocks. You knew Haechan and Jess were going out to grab dinner tonight, it was a weekly thing, so you didn’t understand why he couldn’t just use his key. In an odd turn of events, the first thing Haechan says as he steps through the door frame is ‘thank you.’ You stand there in shock, and he takes it as a sign that he needed to elaborate. “Sorry, I didn’t come from my house so I don’t have my extra key to this place.” He explains, but now you’re hardly listening to his words. Instead, taking the proximity provided by neither of you leaving the doorway to study his face with a frown. 
“Are you wearing makeup?” You question with furrowed brows. Surprising you, Haechan ducked his head, and his voice was weaker than you’ve ever heard as he responded.
“She said I have too many flaws on my skin right now and it was embarrassing her.” Your eyes widen. His girlfriend. His girlfriend, the reason he’s stopped wearing glasses and apparently the reason he has foundation and concealer covering his face right now. Your jaw clenches involuntarily. This is where you draw the line.
“Fuck that.” You spit out, grabbing Haechan’s wrist and dragging him to the bathroom with you.
He glances towards your physical contact before looking back up at you with scrunched eyebrows. “Y/n, what are you doing?” He asks as you place tons of different items on the counter.
“Taking off your makeup.” You reply sternly, and his eyes go wide.
“No, you can’t. Please.” He begs, and your heart chips a little. Your hand freezes above the water tap, sighing deeply in place of turning on the sink.
“Did you want to put it on or did she make you?” You ask softly, and Haechan’s face drops once again.
“She made me...” He replies in defeat, and you immediately turn the water on, much to his dismay. “You can’t take it off! I’m seeing her again tonight for something at her sorority!” His plea falls on deaf ears as you let the water warm up and start rubbing cleanser onto his face. You finally finish with your typical skin care routine for him, taking a step away to hang the washcloth to dry and start on putting your products away.
“If you want to wear makeup, that’s fine. But don’t ever come over here in makeup she’s made you put on again, or I’ll give you a reason to need concealer.” You say offhandedly as you finish and walk out of the bathroom with Haechan in toe.
“Did you just threaten to punch me?” He asks, a scoff accompanying it.
“Of course I did. I despise you. You’re an annoying prick, but I don’t need you feeling bad about yourself for any reason other than that…especially for something like this.” 
Haechan stares at you bewildered, trying to figure out if your words just meant what he thinks they did. “Y/n-”
“Have fun getting dinner with Jessica.” You cut him off, not giving his curiosity the satisfaction of an explanation. “Don’t worry about your girlfriend after…she won’t even notice. I gotta go do homework. Jess should be ready in a minute or so.” Then you were behind your closed bedroom door, fists clenched at your sides as you let anger run through your body. It wasn’t long before you heard Jessica come out of her room and start up a conversation with Haechan, and that was when you finally let yourself relax a little. 
Haechan was the one to start intentionally avoiding you after that. You figure you probably crossed a line that enemies don’t, but you don’t regret it. You and Haechan weren’t friends anyways, so it’s not like him now avoiding you really changed anything - it just made your own efforts to avoid him even easier.
So, about a month passed of you and Haechan avoiding each other, and when that wasn’t an option, sending each other nasty glares and rude remarks. You tried not to start anything, seeing as his girlfriend was doing enough damage to his mental health in the first place, but you still couldn’t back down and let him win if he started anything. Nevertheless, it was your birthday today and you were determined to make it as great as it could be, starting with not having Haechan anywhere near your thoughts. Instead, you were more focused on the three classes you had today, almost all of your brain power going towards making up scenarios for how your conversation with your last professor would go. 
As always, Dr. Choi never let your class out early, and you’re thankful you didn’t have a class following this or you would never get the time to ask him questions after. From your seat in the middle of the lecture hall, you made your way down to where his desk was set up, completely going against traffic as the rest of the students rushed towards the exits. As your footsteps grew closer to him, he looked up from his desk, a smile flashing across his face. 
“Ah, y/n. You look…” He starts, and you freeze as you withstand his eyeing you up and down. You should’ve known better than to imagine a case where this conversation went any differently. Dr. Choi habitually let his gaze linger on you too long, even if you were in a big t-shirt and jeans, but now here you were dressed up for your birthday. “Are you here to ask for extra credit?” He continues, and you slightly cringe in disgust. You were too used to it to have a bigger reaction, and you knew that if you didn’t play it cool, he would be uncooperative anyways.
Instead, you just shake your head lightly as if nothing was out of the ordinary. “No, I was wondering if you could open up the exam again so I can see which questions I got wrong.” You reply seriously. You got a 96 on the exam in question, and you’re sure no one who gets a 96 on a quantum mechanics exam ever takes the time to care about those 4 lost points…but it almost bothered you more than if you failed. You weren’t unprepared - all that a 96 shows is that there’s something you genuinely did not know, and not being able to look at the answers after grades were posted wasn’t helping you figure out what that was.
Dr. Choi’s reply is fast, monotone…deliberate. “Depends on if you open up your legs.” 
“Dr.-” You start flatly, but he’s quick to cut you off as his eyes light with fire.
“Into roleplay, are you?” He asks with a smirk, and if you were any less used to his behavior, you would have thrown up. Instead, you roll your eyes.
“No, Dr. Choi. You have a doctorate, so I’m being respectful. Is there any use in getting you to let me see the exam again?” You ask, staring him dead in the eye. His face loses its passion as he turns stoic, though maybe you could sense his disappointment in your dismissal.
“I told you my requirements.” He says somberly, and you just nod your head.
“Great. Thank you for your time.” You reply. Your walk out of class is natural in manner, but immediately once you get outside, your shoulders fall as you drop your head into your hands. You stand like that for only a moment to regain your composure, and then start up on your walk to your dorm. You had to get over it quickly and act like nothing was wrong. You still haven’t told Jessica about this professor. He was one of the heads of the physics department, so you’ve had to deal with him all the way up to now, and you’d have to deal with him after this course. You didn’t want Jessica to get all angry if there wasn’t anything you could do about it. So instead, you place a light smile back on your face and let yourself relax, knowing the rest of your birthday consists solely of time with your best friend - no vile professors, and no Haechan.
Another week goes by without a hitch, and so on Friday, you had spent most of the evening on the couch watching Bones. You had no homework and Jessica was out on a date with Mark for the night, not planning to get back until after 11:00. So, you figured you would occupy the living room rather than be huddled inside your bedroom hiding from Haechan if he had no reason to come over anyways. Though, it was only a little after 6:00 when the door to your dorm began to open, and you instinctively roll your eyes, knowing the only person it could be. “Jessica isn’t here, and frankly I’m gonna have to talk to her about you having an extra key-” You start as he opens the door, but then you finally see the state he’s in and worry begins to overtake your annoyance. “Haechan?!” You question, his tear-stained face a completely new sight to you.
His gaze has yet to be picked up off the floor, as he stands in complete defeat, his body shaking with sobs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know if she would be here or not, and I couldn’t take the time to text and ask.” 
You’re immediately up off the couch, though you’re still frozen in your spot a few feet away from him. “You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?” You ask, trying to make your voice sound calmer than you felt in an attempt to get at least some control of the situation.
Haechan shakes his head. “No, you’re right. I shouldn’t have barged in. I shouldn’t be here.” He states, turning around to walk right back out of the door. He’s stopped though, by your firm tone.
“Lee Donghyuck, what is wrong?” This time, your question comes out more as a demand, and it’s enough to make Haechan freeze in his spot, dropping his hand that was reaching for the door knob. 
“My dad got in a car accident. He didn’t even make it through the ambulance ride.” He says, his words cut up by his cries. Your world stops, and you just stare at him. You were already really bad at comforting people, and this was the last thing you were expecting to hear, not to mention the last person you expected to be confiding in you.
“Hyuck…” You begin, but all you can do is fumble for words you know won’t come. Haechan gives you the pleasure of cutting you off.
“I didn’t know where else to go.” He replies, now fully crying again as he brings his hands up to cover his face. His sobs only silence for a second as he registers your touch. He brings his hands down to actually get visual confirmation that you were hugging him. You were standing in your living room and hugging your worst enemy, but you couldn’t just do nothing anymore. Your face pressed into his chest, you mumble out the best response you can muster.
“Here is just fine. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, and I’m sorry Jessica isn’t home to be the one to comfort you. I’m sorry it’s me, instead. I know you probably have other friends but…I’m watching Bones if you want to join. We can watch, like, an entire season if you want, and I’ll order your favorite food. If you want. I just- don’t really want you alone right now, and I’m scared that if I kick you out, you won’t ever find your way back out of your bedroom.”
At your words, Haechan seems to settle a bit more into the hug, using one sleeve of his hoodie to dry up his tears before replying. “Bones sounds good. What season are you on?”
You pick your head back out of his chest, staring up at him with a weak smile, hoping it conveyed just how grateful you were that he accepted your offer. “Just started season four. Come on.” 
You let go from the hug and motion for Haechan to find a place on the couch while you headed for the kitchen. While Haechan had been over more than you would have ever liked, your constant avoidance of him meant you had no clue what he actually liked. Instead, you stared at the open pantry with a frown before deciding to just grab all of your favorite snacks to share in hopes that he, too, enjoyed at least one of them. 
You place them all down on the coffee table in front of the couch, but suddenly you feel too awkward to say anything. So, you just make hesitant eye contact with Haechan for a second or two before he breaks away to actually look at everything you brought over. Though, because you’re still staring, you manage to catch the faint “thank you” that left his lips as he reached for a bag of chips. Despite yourself, the corners of your mouth perk up in a soft smile as you finally move to sit down next to him on the couch…a few feet away, but next to him.
It would have been completely quiet had the show not been on. Apparently you and Haechan were still really bad at being even acquaintances. Though, with the introduction of a new character, you quickly found your in.
“God, she’s had like, two minutes of screen time and I already hate Agent Perotta.” You say with a slight laugh, trying not to let it show how nervous you were to talk to him. Instead of glaring at you or pretending your input was the last thing he needed, though, he nodded a bit, smiling.
“Thank God you said it, because I hate her, too, but as a man I feel like saying it out of the blue would be distasteful.” He replies, and before you could stop it, you let out a heavy exhale of laughter. Immediately, your hand reaches up to cover your face, but Haechan had already whipped his head towards you. “Did you just find me funny?” He questions, the smile on his face growing.
You quickly shake your head, though your face wears a matching smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. This conversation is about Agent Perotta.” You say, looking back at the TV.
Haechan flashes his eyebrows up for a moment before redirecting his attention back to the show as well. “Yeah, I hate that bitch.” He says flatly, getting you to nod.
“I think this is the first thing we’ve ever agreed on.” You say, letting the shock factor show in your voice.
Haechan shakes his head, smiling in disbelief. “Should’ve known it was going to be about hating someone. Pretty sure you hate everyone except Jessica. I mean, what are we at now?” He teases, beginning to count them off on his fingers. “Me, Agent Perotta, your neighbor on the right, your professor who makes sexual comments about you…”
Immediately you jump up from the couch, staring at him with the widest of eyes. “WHAT?! How do you know about that?”
You watch as Haechan just shakes his head quickly, as if his previous statement would erase like an etch-a-sketch. “Oh, sorry. He’s on my list of people I hate. Mixed them up.” He replies like it’s nothing, and you don’t know how he’s being so nonchalant about this.
“Hyuck, we don’t share that class, how do you know about that professor? I haven’t even told Jessica.” You ask again, the panic beginning to seep through your words some more. You didn’t know how he knew, you didn’t know if he was going to tell Jessica, you didn’t know if it would change the way he viewed you, you didn’t know why Haechan’s view of you mattered because it was already shit anyways…all of it made you anxious. 
Haechan hangs his head back, staring up at you from where he still sat lazily on the couch. “Please don’t worry about it. Forget I said anything.” He responds, his orders strict but his voice calm. You just shake your head once more.
“Hyuck-” You start, but this time he rolls his eyes, finally getting fed up with the conversation.
“I just wanna watch Bones! Can we make this day about me again? Hello, I’m sad and in need of a light-hearted distraction in the form of crime-solving.” He says, his volume already much louder than it just previously was. Typically, his whining would just make you want to punch him, but he was right, at least a little bit. He was the one with the bigger stressor, and while it wasn’t a competition in the first place, you did want this to be a comforting time for him, not one where you grilled him over his knowledge of your personal life.
“Agh, you’re so difficult!” You shout back, though placing yourself down on the couch again anyways.
Haechan flashes a quick smile in response. “Great! You hate me, we hate Agent Perotta, we’re back on track. Press play.” He says, moving his arms out towards the TV in a showy fashion that you hated. Though, with Agent Perotta back on screen, it did bring up another truth.
“...I hate you less than I hate her.” You say quietly, but with your focus back on Bones, you miss Haechan’s smartass smirk falling into something softer in response. Then, Bones is the only sound to fill the dorm again.
A few hours and entirely too much takeout later, the front door opens again as Jessica walks through. 
“Hey y/n, I’m home-” She starts, locking the door, but then she finally turns around to the living room and her jaw drops. “Hyuck?!”
“Hey!” You reply as though nothing were amiss. Jessica looks back and forth between you and Haechan more times than you could count, her eyebrows furrowed.
“You two are hanging out??” She questions, and Haechan just shrugs.
“I had a bad day. Needed some comfort.” He replies neutrally, but Jessica’s eyes just grow wider.
“So you decided to hang out with y/n? Who you typically can’t stand to be in a room with for more than 0.5 seconds.”
You shake your head with a small laugh. “Jessica, he came over to see if you were here.” You say, stating the obvious. It doesn’t help Jessica’s shock.
“But when he saw it was just you, he stayed?” She asks, and you’re pretty sure you saw the mania start to set in behind her eyes.
“We’ve been watching Bones.” Haechan says with a smile.
Jessica shakes her head in disbelief. “And neither of you find this strange?”
“We hate Agent Perotta.” You reply with a smirk, and suddenly a wave of clarity washes over Jessica.
“Ah, common ground. Makes more sense.” She says calmly as she starts making her way to the couch as well. “Well, mind if I join-” She starts, but then Haechan’s phone begins to ring and he’s up off the couch in an instant.
“My mom is calling. I have to go.” He says, and the sadness and worry that you had managed to kill over the past few hours reappears in his voice in no time.
“Hyuck?” Jessica questions, but he just shakes his head in dismissal.
“I have to go.” He restates, and then makes his way to the door. You watch from the couch as he starts to leave, probably to go drive to meet his mom - this late at night…driving. Panic erupts in your system.
“Haechan,” you cry out, scrambling off the couch. He whips his body back around to face you rather than the door. Without thinking, you wrap Haechan in a hug, speaking softly into his shoulder. “Be safe, okay?” 
Haechan lets out a small sigh, knowing exactly where your mind was at. Gently, he places his arms around you, as well. “I hate you less than I hate her, too.” He says softly in place of replying to your last statement. You freeze in his arms and he’s the first to let go, his phone beginning to ring again and reminding the both of you he had somewhere to be. He’s quickly out the front door, leaving you to just turn back around towards Jessica on the couch. 
“What was that?” She asks, completely confused again. You just shake your head.
“It’s really not for me to tell you. Haechan just…got really bad news today. But you’re his actual best friend, he’ll tell you as soon as he can, I’m sure. Then you can take over my role and do a much better job at comforting him or so help me God.” You reply, a small laugh accompanying the end of your sentence before you continue. “I’m gonna go get ready for bed, if you don’t mind. I hope your date with Mark went really well.” Jessica just nods from the couch, a little dumbfounded by your behavior if you had to guess, but you couldn’t bring yourself to explain any further. 
Within the following week, Haechan had told Jessica about his dad. However, he also told her another piece of news, which Jessica immediately relayed to you once she got back from hanging out with him. 
“Hey, just thought I would let you know that Haechan and his girlfriend broke up.” She says after entering your dorm. You look up at her from the kitchen table, eyes wide.
“What?!” You question with more emotion than you could have imagined, but with the situation with his dad, was this really when she had to break it off and hurt him further. Jessica doesn’t answer your question, probably because it was incredibly vague. Instead, she moves on to her actual point of telling you.
“So, he might be over even more often than before.” She says carefully, trying to gauge how pissed you were gonna be at that piece of news. You just shake your head.
“Did he say why they broke up?” You don’t know why you asked, you didn’t care, but Jessica didn’t seem to think any of it was out of the ordinary.
“No, but he’s pretty torn up about it, which sucks because we both know how horrible she was to him.” Right, regardless of what horrible timing this was because of his already sad state, his girlfriend, or ex, probably wasn’t helping anyways while they were together. You figure Haechan dodged a bullet with the relationship ending sooner rather than later. You nod in response, speaking through a sigh as the past memories and stories about his ex replayed in your mind.
“Yeah…”
Jessica seems to be doing the same, but she shakes out of it quicker than you. “I think I’m gonna take him out to the bars next weekend or something. I don’t have a lot of free time right now, but I figure he could use a night out.” She says neutrally, and you nod, letting her know you probably couldn’t come up with a better idea.
“Yeah.”
Then two weeks later, you were telling Jessica to be safe as she left for the bars with Haechan. She extended the invite, but you figured Haechan probably had enough of you trying to support and comfort him, so you just told her that you’d stay home and to call if they needed a ride back. At one in the morning, that call came, but it was from Haechan rather than Jessica, and as you pick up, you forget the entire reason they went out tonight, your mind running on autopilot once you see his name light up your phone screen.
“What do you want?” You ask, your disgust at his call hardly hidden in your voice. You immediately feel bad though when he responds and his tone is much gentler than the one you used for him.
“Hey, Jess was the one who apparently needed to unwind tonight, so I let her do all the drinking at the bar…too much, apparently. I was gonna drive her back to your place but she was concerned about ruining whatever image she thinks you have of her in your head, so instead of her getting sick at your place, I let her get sick at mine. She just got in the shower, but I gotta be honest, now that I’m home, I’m pretty exhausted. Do you think you could come grab her?” He asks, and for a moment, you smile softly. You could tell Jessica had been stressed the past few weeks, truly probably needing the night out more than Haechan, and it was comforting knowing that he didn’t drink so that he could look out for her at the bar and back home. 
You nod your head before realizing he couldn’t see it, and then you speak up, much softer than before. “Yeah, I’ll be there soon. Send me your address.” You say, then hanging up and grabbing your things to head his way.
Haechan opens the door in response to your knocking, the familiar bored expression back on his face. “You got here quicker than I thought you would…Jessica is still in the shower.” He states, as though your early presence was a huge inconvenience. You don’t pay attention to his tone, though. Your mind focuses on his clothes as you unintentionally scan his body up and down.
“Skinny jeans, huh?” You question with a straight face, meeting his eyes again as he smirks down at you.
“Well, I knew there was a high probability I’d see you tonight so I thought it would be fun to torment you-” You don’t know what came over you, but surely it wasn’t your fault. You told him not to wear skinny jeans ever again, and he did so just to spite you. Somehow, it all made him really hot, and you find yourself cutting off his words as you press your lips to his. You pull away quickly, shock covering both your faces as you simply stare at each other, eyes wide and breath heavy as you process what you just did. 
You swallow hard, trying to remedy your suddenly dry throat. Your courage to look him in the eyes diminishes within milliseconds, and you drop your face towards the floor, which seemed to irritate Haechan to no end because as soon as your gaze met the floor, he walked the one step back over to you, grabbing your jaw to the point where it almost hurt and forcing you to look his way again. Then he kissed you harshly, and you fell right in line. 
There was no romance in the kiss. Instead, something like lust had your tongues fighting for dominance with each other as your hands tried to memorize every part of Haechan’s body. The two of you moved with intensity, stumbling around the room because you couldn’t possibly stay still with the amount of passion embedded in this kiss. The first time you remember breaking away wasn’t so you could take a breath. You were fine never needing oxygen again. Instead you broke away to pull his shirt up over his head, discarding it to the side without much care. You immediately press your lips back onto his, but he’s quick to pull back this time, looking at you with a shake of his head as his eyes move back and forth between your two bodies.
“No fair!” He complains, causing you to roll your eyes before removing your own shirt to reveal your black lace bra because the universe was apparently on your side when you got dressed today. You watch his adam’s apple bob up and down as he takes you in, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. “No fair…” He whispers before rushing to close the distance between you two again, but this time, his lips don’t land on yours. Instead, they find your chest as his hands squeeze at your waist. You throw your head back in response, giving Haechan the ability to leave a trail of kisses from your chest up your neck, stopping in the middle to nip at somewhere near your collarbone before his continued exploration, and you thank God that Jessica has the shower running to cover up the moan it produced from you. He kisses up your neck and jaw before eventually finding his way to your lips again, and you waste no time getting your tongue back in his mouth. Before you know it, he’s picking you up, just to throw you right back down on the couch. Your eyes open in surprise, but then the sight of him on top of you has you unable to function. For some godforsaken reason, he’s able to read you completely, chuckling as he looks at your breathless expression. 
The sound of his laugh gets you to break out of it, and you rush to connect your lips with his again. Your hands trace up and down his bare back, your nails sending goosebumps to his entire body as they claw at certain spots. Your hands get caught in his belt loops, causing a smile to cover your face and impeding your ability to kiss him, but you couldn’t help finding humor in the fact that his skinny jeans caused all of this. You shake your head, pulling away from the kiss for a moment and making Haechan pout before he moves to suck on your neck again.
“God, you have such a slutty waist for no reason.” You spit out in feigned anger, hands resuming their roaming over his figure. Haechan pops up so his eyes could meet yours. A playful smirk on his face covering up the split second glance you got of him looking ready to devour you.
“You love my slutty waist.” He responds confidently, and while you would love to prove him wrong, you can’t bring yourself to. So, you open and close your mouth, fighting for words that would never come out, and for a moment, Haechan looks down at you with something resembling fondness written over his features, though you were positive you were making that up. He shakes his head softly with a smile before leaning back down to kiss you, and once his lips were on yours, his entire demeanor was coated with a certain roughness and desire again that had you weak.
The only thing that pulled the two of you out of your bubble was the sound of the shower turning off, and suddenly your background noise was gone, making everything feel more real. Haechan broke out of the kiss with wide eyes, rushing to get off from on top of you as he grabbed your shirts from the floor, throwing yours over to you as he fumbled to put his own shirt back on. 
“Don’t you dare tell anyone about this.” He says sternly, running a hand through his hair to get it back to somewhat normal. You rush to put your shirt back on, bounding off the couch before Jessica could walk out of the bathroom.
“I wasn’t planning on it.” You reply in kind, refusing to acknowledge the pit in your stomach that formed as Haechan gave an uninterested eyebrow flash and went to busy himself in the kitchen, preparing to act normal for whenever Jessica eventually walked out so you could take her home. 
It was only three days later when you saw Haechan again. More excited than usual for their Tuesday dinner, Jessica opened the door before Haechan could even use his key. “Hey!” She greets with a smile which he reflects right back. 
“Hey!” He replies, actually stepping into your living room. 
Jessica immediately starts talking about how she’s not even close to being ready yet but was swamped with homework and couldn’t wait for the forced study break that came with dinner, even though she had to go make herself look presentable first. Haechan nodded along, but you’re not sure he was listening at all, because even though Jessica was right in front of him, his gaze kept wandering over to you on the couch before he could noticeably snap his focus back to Jessica. You tried to stay natural, that way if Jessica actually followed his gaze over to you, she wouldn’t immediately suspect something. Though, when Jessica did finally go back to start getting ready for dinner, you jumped off the couch and dragged Haechan by the collar towards the corner of the room furthest away from hers. 
“You have to stop being so weird around me. Jessica is gonna know something happened.” You say sternly, though you kept your voice at a near whisper just in case you weren’t as far away from Jessica as you thought. Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked over Haechan. He had never been this uncool before. 
Haechan shakes his head, keeping his volume low though his words were more frantic than yours.  “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” You take a small step back in surprise, finally letting go of your grip on his shirt. That was probably the last thing you were expecting him to say, but you would be lying if you said it didn’t make your heart jump up in your throat. 
“So…” You start, begging for clarification on what that meant.
Haechan moves his head down so that he’s able to make better eye contact with you, so that you could see the seriousness in his gaze. “So can we maybe see each other when Jessica isn’t getting ready in the next room?” 
You swallow hard at the question. “That sounds like a lot of sneaking around.”
“It’s worth it for you.” He replies instantaneously, making you freeze again. He was saying a very right thing under what felt like the wrong context, and despite yourself, you try to remedy that.
“But- does it have to be all sneaky? I mean, couldn’t we just-” Though, that’s as far as he lets you get before he cuts you off, shaking his head with a small laugh.
“Y/n, be real. We don’t like each other. This isn’t something emotional, it’s physical. Yeah?” Right, this was your mortal enemy you were talking to. You guys didn’t like each other. An actual relationship would be the worst idea in the world, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he looks like a dream in skinny jeans…and you’d take what you could get.
“Yeah- uh, yeah. Let’s do it.” You reply, and Haechan flashes you a killer smirk before breaking away and settling himself on the couch to wait for Jessica to get done. You don’t join him, already feeling dizzy from the conversation. Instead, you just find refuge in your bedroom until they leave, but that night didn’t end without a text from Haechan, already making plans.
You and Haechan quickly fell into routine. The first time you went over to his house under the guise of you going to study at the library, you hardly said two words to each other. Instead, Haechan opened his door to your presence and immediately pulled you inside by your arm, pushing you towards the general direction of the couch so he could get on top of you.
The next time you came over, he opened the door to see your bright smile. “Hey, Hyuck-!” You could hardly get your words out before he pulled you inside and pinned you against the now closed door. Through heavy pants in between harsh kisses, he speaks. 
“I love it when you call me that.”
You involuntarily smile a bit as you do your best to look at him with raised eyebrows. “Your name?” You ask sarcastically as he sucks on your neck.
He pops his head back up so he can look you in the eyes as he replied. “My name that the people who I care about call me.” You freeze, chills running through your entire body at his words, and in that moment, you knew you were fucked, because this was not just physical to you. Haechan was naturally flirty - a sweet talker. That wasn’t hard to deduce from his looks alone. He was hot and he knew it, which also meant he knew how to get whatever girl he wanted for the time being, but the idea of being a ‘time being’ girl of his began to make cracks in your heart. That night, you left with a spare key to his house and instructions of coming over whenever you wanted, for physical purposes, of course.  
As soon as Jessica said she was going back home for the weekend, you immediately texted Haechan to let him know, and not even five minutes after Jess closed the door to your place, you opened it back up again to Haechan’s presence. “Hey, y/n.” He says with a smile you can’t help but reflect back to him. 
“Hi, Hyuckie.” You reply bashfully. You watch as his eyes widen a bit, his smile now reaching the rest of his facial features. Without spending much time thinking about it, he leans in and gives you a quick peck on the lips before instantly retreating back and facing the floor. You laugh as you step back and actually allow him inside, figuring that kiss was probably too domestic for him to handle. 
Since the two of you hadn’t commenced this whole operation at your place before, Haechan waited for you to take the lead on deciding where he could have you. You watch his idle presence, laughing a bit, much to his confusion, before shaking your head. “Come here.” You say, nodding your head, and he’s quick to follow.
“Um, y/n?” He says as you turn into the room. “This is your bathroom.”
“I know.” You say, bending down to grab something in one of your cabinets. Haechan just stares at you bewildered, even more so when you pull out a lens case and contact solution. You smile at his expression. “Go on then. I know you still haven’t switched contacts and I know you brought your glasses with you.”
“What?” He asks with wide eyes. You shake your head fondly, placing a gentle hand on his cheek.
“Your contacts irritate your eyes. You look cute in glasses. Please take out your stupid contacts and put your glasses on.” You watch as he dismisses your words, shaking his head as his eyes glaze with fear rather than confusion. You bite on the inside of your cheek, beyond pissed that his ex turned him into this. “Hyuck, you’re the hottest person alive. I don’t care about whatever your ex-girlfriend said. I understand if you get self-conscious and want to wear your contacts out in public, but you don’t have to with me. All I want is for you to be comfortable, and I know you’re not in your contacts.” You watch as he nods his head slowly, and you leave the bathroom with a soft smile as he gets close to the mirror to start taking his contacts out. 
You sit on the couch as you wait for him to come out of the bathroom, scrolling idly on your phone. You pop your head up to meet him when you hear his footsteps cause the floor to creak. He looks small, his arms crossed, gaze aimed at the floor, and his glasses on. You smile warmly. “My pretty boy, come here.” You say, standing up with open arms, but Haechan freezes.
“What?”
You don’t know what he’s confused about until you trace back over your words, eyes going wide as you try and remedy the situation. “I- I didn’t mean to be so possessive, calling you mine and everything. I know you’re not…mine. I mean, this is purely physical. I wasn’t trying to be like- you know. It just slipped out. I’m sorry. Please come objectify me and make things normal again.”
“Y/n, you know you’re not just a body to me, right?” He asks softly, a skeptical eyebrow raised. You raise your head to look at him through narrow eyes. 
“I’m not?”
He rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “No, of course not. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.”
“But then- but this is just physical…you don’t- I mean we don’t like each other so I don’t know how-” Your stumbling words are cut off with a kiss that you melt right into. Haechan pulls back finally with a tired expression on his face.
“You seriously talk too much. Yeah, we don’t like each other, but that doesn’t mean I act as if you’re just some body for me to use. You’re y/n, which means you’re my favorite person to hate. And you hate me back, which is great because you always look so hot when you’re pissed at me, it gets right under my skin in all the best ways. And I get the pleasure of knowing what you taste like? Do you know how big a flex that is? I mean, come on. You’re the hottest nerd around, and instead of the other nerds who probably have the biggest crush on you being the ones to kiss you like this, I’m the one who gets to know you use dragon fruit chapstick.” 
You’re able to let out a soft laugh. “You know it’s dragon fruit?” You ask in response, and Haechan raises his eyebrows, a smirk covering his lips.
“We kiss a lot.” He replies. You toss his words around visibly in your head.
“I don’t know. I don’t think we do it enough.” You say back, and Haechan just licks his lips. 
“You don’t know how badly I want to make you eat your words.” He says through his teeth, and you just throw a taunting grin his way.
“Then why don’t you?” You ask, and Haechan audibly laughs before grabbing you by the waist and crashing his lips onto yours.
You break after who knows how long when your stomach starts feeling like it’s caving in on itself. Haechan wastes no time in moving his lips from your own to your neck, guessing you probably just needed to break for air. You roll your eyes with a smile. “Hyuck.” You say monotonously, making him pop his head back up to your joyless demeanor.
“Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry. I just-”
“Hyuckie,” you laugh, and he seems to calm down a bit. “I haven’t had anything to eat yet today. I’m starving. I can’t physically kiss your pretty face anymore.”
Haechan shrugs. “Okay, let’s order a pizza.” 
You look at him, bewildered. “What- I thought- you’re not just gonna…I thought you were gonna go.”
“And why would I do that?” He questions, making you scrunch your brows down.
“Because then it would be like us hanging out while we eat. Not…this.”
Haechan laughs again. “I know. Let’s order a pizza. We’ve watched Bones on your couch before. You’re crazy if you think I’m gonna leave you so soon.” 
The shyest smile crosses your face as you reach for the phone to call the pizza place. You stare down at the number entered on the keypad - all you had to do was press the call button. Instead, you turn your gaze back over to Haechan, holding your phone out towards him. “Can you do it?” You ask shyly, and Haechan’s brows furrow.
“What?” He asks with ample confusion. You drop your head in response.
“I get really nervous when I need to order something over the phone.” You reply, your words hardly audible under your embarrassment. Haechan shakes his head, but the biggest smile comes across his face.
“You’re so fucking adorable. Give me the phone, you go get the TV ready.” He says, and you snap your gaze back up to him, a small grateful smile of your own painted across your lips as you move towards the TV. “Just a large pepperoni pizza, yeah?” Haechan continues, and you turn back to him with a nod.
“Yeah.”
You immediately turn Bones on the TV for the two of you to watch while you eat, and you’re pleasantly surprised to find a normal activity such as this didn’t feel awkward at all with him anymore. Haechan finished eating before you did, and he frowned at the space between the two of you on the couch for only a second before sliding over and wrapping an arm around your shoulder. You will your face not to blush at something as stupid as this, and you don’t even know if it worked. Regardless, there was still twenty minutes left on the episode when you finished eating, too. So, you made yourself more comfortable against his body.
Haechan started rubbing his thumb up and down your side where it had laid, incredibly too domestic for your liking. You try and shake it off pretty successfully, until his thumb moved ever so slightly to caress your covered breast. You sigh, turning to face him with a raised eyebrow. “You’re an idiot.” You say monotonously. 
He doesn’t look away from the TV, but he grins widely. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He replies. Though, his attempt to feign innocence is completely ruined when he straight up grabs your boob.
“Okay, that’s it.” You huff, switching from your position laying at his side to instead straddling him on top of your couch. Haechan looks at you as though he has no clue what you’re doing there, though his hands immediately latch onto your thighs, pulling you as close as possible to him. 
“You had enough to eat yet?” He asks with a smirk.
You give a minimal shake of your head. “I don’t know, you look pretty tasty.” You hardly get through your words before your ability to speak is taken from you. Haechan kissed you with a passion that couldn’t be rivaled, as his hands left your thighs to grab your waist, trying his best to pull you even closer to him. You knew you messed up when you started moving your lower body against his, making him break away from the kiss immediately. 
“Fuck, y/n!” He says loudly, but his grip on your waist only encourages you to speed up. As he tore his lips from yours, you moved to suck on his neck, another thing you shouldn’t have done. “No, no, no! That’s my job. Need your pretty neck.” He huffs, doing his best to remove your shirt. You let him, and then Haechan has a field day with your neck and chest as you still grind against him. Somewhere along the way, you managed to rip him from his shirt as well, your fingers lightly tracing his abs and making him go crazy. He eventually started dipping his fingers beneath the waistline of your pants. “Y/n, tell me to stop.” He breathes.
“Do I have to?” You reply in between kisses. 
“Yes, y/n. I- You don’t know how badly I need you.” 
“Show me, then.” 
Haechan pulls back from your lips, staring at you intently. “Y/n, I refuse to let this be something you regret.”
You laugh a little, shaking your head in dismissal. “I won’t. I promise.” 
Haechan looks at you as though he’s holding back his own laugh. “That sounded so certain. I would hate to be the guy that has you sure this won’t be as bad.” He replies, and you suddenly understand his interpretation of your words, causing you to duck your head, moving your attention to your hands that were currently fiddling with Haechan’s fingers.
“Oh, no. Hyuck, I’ve never…” Your words taper off, and Haechan looks at you with wide eyes.
“Oh my god, y/n. I can’t be your first. I mean, that’s a big deal, you know? You deserve-”
“Hyuck, there’s no one I trust more than you for this.” You say, cutting him off and getting him to render still. He licks his lips in contemplation, sighing heavily before he looks back up at you.
“You might end up bleeding - that’s okay. I don’t want you to worry about that or feel embarrassed at all because of it. I’ll clean you up after. If at any point you get uncomfortable, you tell me right away. I do not care what point that is, you tell me and it stops immediately, no questions asked. I will do my best to not hurt you, but you gotta tell me what feels good, okay? I’m gonna need you to be vocal and I mean it literally. I wanna make this about you, yeah? Tell me what you want and what feels good. And if you’re not 100% sure, I need you to be honest about it right now because-”
“Hyuckie.” You say gently, cutting him off. “I’m sure. You don’t have to worry.”
“Yes, I do!” He rebuttals. You just roll your eyes playfully, leaning in to give him a quick kiss before making eye contact again.
“It’s okay. Look, all you have to do is wrap your pretty fingers around my neck and we’ll be good to go.” You say plainly. Haechan looks at you in disbelief.
“A choking kink? You’re kidding me.” He says, adding on a dismissive chuckle. Though, you just raise your eyebrows at him expectantly, letting him know you were serious, and he turns slightly shy.
You watch as he sucks on his lips, eyes darting down from your own as he fights back a smile. “Like, is this good?” He asks, wrapping one of his hands around your neck lightly. His face contorts as you audibly laugh.
“Absolutely not. Come on, choke me like you hate me, Hyuck.” 
His eyes go wide as he pulls his hand from your neck. “You know, I don’t know if I want to take you to the bedroom anymore. You scare me.” He remarks playfully, but you send a pout his way and he instantly folds, picking you up from under your thighs and making his way to your bedroom. The two of you spend an ample amount of time just making out, exploring each other’s bodies. Then, with another check of assurance from Haechan and a rip of a condom packet with his teeth, he gave you a glimpse of heaven. 
Afterwards, Haechan got straight to work on his promise of helping you clean up. “Alright, beautiful, do you wanna shower?” He asks, but you don’t answer his question.
“Don’t call me that.” You say instead, watching as he furrows his brows. You sigh, dodging his eye contact. “Too domestic…” You add on, and you can hear him sigh.
“Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t call you that, but really, do you want to shower?” He asks again, and you nod. He immediately scoops you up, carrying you bridal style to the bathroom. 
“I can walk you know?” You say playfully before he sets you down on the bathroom floor.
“Yeah? Guess I need to go harder next time.” He replies with a smirk, but your playfulness falls into genuine happiness. 
“I’m glad there’s still a ‘next time’ after all this.” 
Haechan drops his shoulders, taking the opportunity provided by the fact that you were staring at the floor to look at you with a softness in his eyes. “There’s always a ‘next time’ with us.” He says, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead before moving to start up the shower for you. Standing frozen, by the time you realize you had to tell him that forehead kisses were also too domestic for you to handle, he was already out of the bathroom. 
When you walk back into your room wrapped in a towel, you’re shocked to see your bed stripped to just the mattress. You move your gaze to Haechan, a questioning look on your face. “Your sheets are in the washer right now. Do you have another set I can throw on your bed? If not, you can sleepover at mine. I’d just want to make sure we get your bedding in the dryer before we leave to go back to mine.” 
You’re quite honestly dumbfounded, and a smile takes over your face as you shake your head. “No, I don’t have another set. You didn’t have to do all this.” You say softly, but Haechan snaps his head back to you in an instant.
“Yes, I said I would. And this isn’t about me. How are you feeling?”
“Good.” You answer truthfully.
“Can I get you anything?” He continues, and you shake your head.
“No.” You reply. There was a beat of silence, and you lick your lips. “Actually…” You drag off, staring up at him to make sure he actually didn’t care about you making requests. “Could you just- can you just hold me for a second?” You ask weakly, and Haechan’s eyes widen.
“Yeah…yeah! Come here.” He says gently, and you take the few small steps right into his waiting arms. You don’t hug him back, your arms instead at your chest, holding up the towel that was still covering your body. Though, if Haechan minded, he didn’t let it show. His arms wrapped around you tightly, his embrace comforting. Then, without being able to really explain why, you began to cry in his arms. Haechan didn’t seem shocked. Instead, he just ran one hand gently up and down your back, though not letting up on his tight hold of you. 
“I’m sorry.” You say hoarsely. “I don’t know why I’m crying.” 
Haechan kisses the top of your head. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s okay. You’ve had an exhausting day. I’d rather you cry in my arms than alone.” 
You dig your head out of his chest, using one hand to wipe away the remaining tears on your face. “You can’t be this nice to me.” You say seriously, and Haechan sighs.
“Okay, no more being nice to each other…after tonight.” He says, and you find yourself nodding your head in response, getting him to relax again. “Do you still want me to hold you, or do you want to get dressed and head to mine?” He asks, truly not caring either way. 
You pull yourself out of his arms in response, facing the floor. “I’ll uh- get ready.”
The drive over to his place is quiet, with you staring out the window the entire time. Though, as soon as you walk through his front door, you find your words again. “I don’t regret it.” You say seriously. “And I won’t regret it when I wake up tomorrow. Or any time after that. I know I’m acting weird, but it’s not because of that. I promise.”
Haechan looks your way with a fond smile. “You aren’t acting weird, y/n. I put you through a lot today. I get it. Just come crawl into bed with me. I’ll hold you some more.” You don’t hesitate to give into his offer, though, you add it to the list of things that probably shouldn’t happen again if you don’t want to fall in love with Haechan. 
You ended up spending the entire next day with Haechan, under the reasoning that this would be the most time you guys would be able to spend together without Jessica getting suspicious. The two of you were walking back into your dorm Saturday night so that you could put your bed back together and hang out some more, figuring Haechan could just spend the night here and leave in the morning before Jessica gets back. That plan is instantly ruined when you open up the front door and see Jessica moving around in the kitchen. As quickly as you could, you shove Haechan back into the dorm hallway with one hand and slam the door behind you, praying he got the hint that Jessica was here and you didn’t just suddenly turn into a bitch. 
At the sound of the door slamming, Jessica shoots her gaze your way with a smile. “Hey, y/n!” 
You force your legs to start walking, moving towards the living room as if everything was normal. “Hey, Jess. I thought you weren’t supposed to be back until tomorrow afternoon.” You say, wondering why the hell she was already here. She waves an uninterested hand in the air.
“That was the plan, but I have so much homework and my parents had a brunch planned with some of their friends so there was really no reason for me to stay another night.” 
“Ah.” You reply, trying to just sneak away to your room without any more complications. You had nearly gotten away with it, but before you can step through the open door into your room, Jessica speaks up again, making you turn back to her.
“Oh, yeah. Where are your bed sheets?” She asks, curious, and you wince.
“Uh, they’re in the dryer. I washed them.” You say neutrally, but Jessica raises an eyebrow.
“You? Washed your sheets? You never wash your sheets.” She says with a laugh.
“Yeah well, you know. Just seemed like they needed washed.” You reply, trying your best to sound normal. 
“And uh- would that have anything to do with the hickies on your neck?” She asks, and you freeze on the spot, eyes wide as you make contact with her knowing expression, praying to God she didn’t know the all of it.
“Uh- yeah you know. I might’ve hooked up with someone while you were gone.” You say, fumbling through your words. You watch as Jessica lights up.
“Who?!” 
Your throat turns dry, and you start fiddling with the rings on your fingers as you find someone to pin this on. “Johnny! You know, the kid from Chicago who takes the least amount of credit hours a semester as possible so he can spend as many years at college parties as possible? Him.” You look back up to meet Jessica’s bewildered face.
“Wow.” She replies, seeming to be incredibly amazed by your ability to pull Johnny, and you can’t even begin to imagine what she would look like if you told her you actually pulled her best friend, instead. 
“Yeah, so- I’m just gonna go grab my sheets from the dryer and go to bed. I’ve had quite the weekend and we still have all of Sunday to get through.” As soon as you finish talking, you dart to where the washer and dryer were before rushing back to your bedroom and closing the door, immediately grabbing your phone to text Haechan.
Jessica is back early! I’m sorry for slamming the door in your face, but I didn’t know what else to do.
His response comes a few minutes later, finally letting you relax again. Don’t worry, I figured that was the case. I’m already back at my place…
Though you were glad he wasn’t still outside your dorm, because he definitely couldn’t come in now, your heart struggled with the idea of him already back at his house…without you. I wish we could’ve had our extra night together. I miss you, Hyuckie.
You watch as his text bubble appears and disappears. You bite on your bottom lip, opting to start putting your bed back together to keep your mind from running. After putting one corner of your fitted sheet back on, your phone dings and you instantly move to grab it and read his message. I thought we weren’t supposed to be nice to each other.
A small smile spreads across your face. He was making fun of you. You were the one who set those boundaries in the first place. You glance from your phone to your bed and immediately know how to respond. Don’t worry. I only wish you were here so you could help me make my bed like you said you would.
There’s my y/n. You read his text over and over again. Surely he just meant it in regard to your typical personality with him, the y/n he knew. Though, the more you looked at his text, the more you knew you didn’t want him to mean it in that way, you wanted him to call you his. That’s when you knew there was no way you could respond to that message. So, you continue the task of making your bed so you could go to sleep, trying to ignore how empty it felt without him. 
Two days later, you walked back in from class to see Jessica and Haechan hanging out in your living room. Your breath hitches at the sight of him, and you quickly turn around and act like you were still fiddling with the door so you could take a moment to fix a neutral expression on your face…and prepare yourself to scowl at him once you turn back around. 
“Hey, Jess. I’m home-” You start, moving to walk towards the living room. “-oh great. You’re here.” You continue with a roll of the eyes as your gaze lands on Haechan. 
His deadpan stare looks you up and down as his nose scrunches in disgust. “Yeah, cause I was told you weren’t.”
You flash your eyebrows at him, unamused. “Well, don’t worry. I won’t be bothering you.” You state as you start on your walk to your room. Haechan calls out after you.
“You already are, sweetheart.” He says condescendingly. 
“Yeah, fuck you.” You reply back, closing the door to your bedroom and giving yourself the ability to actually breathe again.
On the couch, Jessica rubs her forehead. “You know, I thought things were actually gonna get better between the two of you after you watched Bones that one day.” She says with a small, but defeated, laugh. Haechan clears his throat awkwardly. 
“Sorry to kill your spirits, but y/n and I are not meant to be friends.” He replies in kind before quickly getting the two of them back to their conversation topic from before you walked in. 
You were getting through some homework when there was a knock at your door. Assuming it was Jessica, you throw the door open, though shock courses through you when you see Haechan, instead. He leans in to give you a soft kiss before standing straight up again, as if that type of thing was normal between the two of you. “Jessica is in the bathroom.” He says softly, and you look at him with a raised eyebrow.
“That’s great, but I don’t think that gives us enough time to fuck.” You respond with a laugh, though Haechan’s brows furrow.
“What? I didn’t come here for that. I came to tell you I’m sorry for being mean to you when you came in.” 
Surprise runs over your face, but it soon drops into a gentle smile. “Don’t worry about it, Hyuck. We’re supposed to hate each other.”
He rolls his eyes. “I know, but it didn’t feel good this time.” He responds, riddled with defeat, and you can’t help yourself from getting up on your tiptoes to lightly kiss him again.
You pull back quickly, facing the ground. “Hyuckie-” That’s when the sound of the bathroom door opening fills the air, and you immediately jump to lean uninterestedly against your doorframe, arms crossed in front of your body as your face falls flat. “Homework! So, can you stop annoying me just because Jessica is gone for one second and you can’t annoy her?” 
As predicted, Jessica quickly finds her way over to the two of you, eventually coming to stand at Haechan’s side. “Can’t believe I come out of the bathroom to find you talking with y/n.” She says with genuine surprise. You make concerned eye contact with her.
“Talking? More like tormenting…” You say in response.
Jessica turns to look at Haechan, nudging him slightly. “Hyuck, I would be careful about pissing her off, now. She’s got some big men on her side that can come beat you up. I mean, she hooked up with Johnny Suh.” 
Your face becomes painted with shock. “Jessica!” You yell, causing her to put her hands up in defense.
“Look, it just came out.”
Haechan makes eye contact with you, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Hooked up with Johnny?! Really?” He responds, playing his part of not believing you pulled him exceptionally well.
You flash your eyebrows at him, doing your best to try and act all powerful now because you apparently hooked up with Johnny. “Yep! It was one hell of a first time.” You reply, and a soft smile is quick to adorn your face as you continue. “Not to mention he took…really good care of me after. You could learn something from him about how to treat women.” You add on, looking back up at him with a smirk. Almost all of Haechan’s body language could lead anyone to believe he hated you, didn’t give a damn about who you slept with, could hardly bother himself with this conversation at all, but his eyes were filled with fondness as he looked back at you. You inhale sharply, thankful when Haechan starts talking again to remind you of the environment you were in.
“Yeah? I’ll be sure to ask for lessons on how to tolerate you first.” He responds with a smirk of his own. Jessica finally gets fed up, rolling her eyes and grabbing Haechan by the arm to drag him away from you before you could argue any more. You almost instantly throw your homework back in your backpack, walking to the door to leave as you turn around to face them again. 
“I’m gonna head to the library since I obviously can’t get any work done here. I’ll be back later tonight.” You say with a smile aimed in Jessica’s direction. She threw a thumbs up your way along with a ‘be safe,’ and then you were out the door. 
You had just gotten to the library when your phone lit up with a text from Haechan.
I’ll pick you up from the library after Jess and I eat dinner.
You can’t help the laugh that escapes you, though really, you’re beyond glad he could see how much you wanted him tonight. I’d be pissed if you didn’t :) 
His response is instantaneous. Yeah, yeah. Go do your homework before I fuck you dumb <3 
Around an hour and a half later, you get a call from Haechan and you immediately stuff your laptop back into your bag before picking up the phone. “Hey, where are you sitting? I’ll come pick you up-” He starts, but you cut him off in an instant.
“Absolutely not. We cannot be seen in public together.” 
“Y/n, this isn’t some big scandal.” He replies lightly, but you shake your head, regardless of the fact that he couldn’t see it.
“You’re wrong. Everyone knows we hate each other and everyone knows Jessica is our mutual. If they see us together, it’s getting back to Jessica in an instant. Tell me where you’re parked and I’ll come to you.” A small laugh accompanies your words, even more so when Haechan pouts on the other end and you can imagine it vividly.
“Fine, but you’re never allowed to complain that chivalry is dead when you’re the one causing it.” You roll your eyes, stepping out of the library and immediately seeing his car anyways. You hang up on the phone and open his passenger door to slide into your seat. “Finish all your homework like a good girl?” He asks with a smirk and you send a glare his way.
“Shut up. I finished all but one assignment. I got a little distracted.” You drag off, and Haechan lights up.
“Oh my god, did you touch yourself in the library bathrooms?”
“No!” You reply adamantly before sinking back into the passenger seat a little. “But I would’ve if I had to wait any longer. Dinner took a long time, Hyuckie.” You add with a frown, and Haechan just shakes his head in the driver’s seat. 
“God, it is taking everything in me to not throw you in the backseat and have you right here right now.”
You roll your eyes, more than aware that you couldn’t have car sex in front of the library. Instead, you place a hand on his cheek and kiss him deeply. He didn’t complain, figuring making out with you in his front seat was enough to hold him over since he couldn’t fuck you in the back seat. You let an entire song play through the radio as you indulged in Haechan’s taste, finally pulling back with a heavy breath before you could forget your morals. “Um…Please drive now so we can go home and you can undress me. I need you.”
 Haechan tries to hide his smile as he shifts into drive and places his hands back on the wheel. “Yeah, yeah. Next stop…home.”
You stumble your way inside his front door, passionate kisses getting in the way of actually walking. The second you get inside, Haechan is sliding your shirt over your head. He keeps his kisses as consistent as possible until everything actually registers in his mind and he pulls back to look you up and down, absentmindedly licking his lips. “Y/n, goddamn.”
You look down at your chest just to laugh and fix your gaze back on him. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I did some shopping.” You say offhandedly, as though your new lingerie set wasn’t killing Haechan. He finally brings himself to look back at your face, not bothering to hide how pissed he was.
“On the couch, now.” He orders, and you just roll your eyes playfully, grabbing him by the neck of his shirt to bring him along with you. In no time flat, he’s completely on top of you, kissing what seemed to be every inch of your body. Though, the second his lips land on your neck, you remember the new boundaries you had to set. 
“Hey, you can’t leave marks on my neck anymore.” 
“Oh, but Johnny can, huh?” He teases as he props himself up to make eye contact with you. 
You roll your eyes. “He was the first guy that came to mind.”
Haechan shakes his head. “I’ll make sure you can never think about another guy again.” He says with conviction, and for a moment, you forget how to breathe.
“God, you’re so hot.” You say through an exhale, and Haechan just laughs before moving to suck and nip at your neck again. “Hyuck, that didn’t mean you could still bruise me, baby.” 
He hums against your skin, finding a way to respond without putting too much space between your two bodies. “Can’t help it. You look so pretty, all marked up as mine.” He mumbles. You sigh, running a hand gently through his hair as he works on your chest instead. 
“Hyuckie, I’m not yours.” You say softly, trying to make sure the defeat you felt while admitting that didn’t show. Haechan freezes immediately, and when he finally finds his ability to move, it’s just to press a lingering kiss on your lips.
“Just for tonight. Be mine just for tonight.” He says, though it comes out more so as a question. You let out another small sigh, shaking your head before moving to connect your lips to his again. 
“Jessica knows I don’t do any homework past 10:00.” You tell him as you break apart. Haechan takes a moment to glance at his watch, reading the time before nodding his head softly. 
“I’ll get you back by then. Don’t worry.” From then until 9:45, Haechan spent all of his time making sure you were his that night.  
It was about two months into whatever it was that you and Haechan had gotten yourselves into. You were currently sitting in the living room. You knew Haechan was fully aware that Jessica wasn’t home, so now you were just waiting for him to burst through the front door at any moment. When he finally does, he walks to put his keys and wallet down on the counter before making his way over to where you were sitting and placing a soft kiss on your lips. “Hey,” he says smoothly, causing blush to cover your face. You still weren’t used to the days where he would be more gentle with you, not that you were complaining, but it was unfamiliar nonetheless. You smile back at him, about to respond when he finally moves his gaze to assess what you’ve been up to. “Are you playing Mariokart?” He asks, and you laugh from slight embarrassment. 
“Yeah. Had to kill time while waiting for you somehow.” You say as you hit the home button to exit out, but then you notice the smallest traces of sadness cross his face, causing you to smirk. “Did you want to play?” You ask, and Haechan shoots his gaze back over to you, looking more like a boy than ever. 
“Of course I want to play!” He replies, and suddenly your laughter isn’t from embarrassment anymore. You move to grab another remote for him so the two of you could play together. You spent the next two hours playing Mariokart with him, trying to perfect all the circuits so you could collect all the best trophies, and though today’s physical touch went no further than celebratory kisses, playful shoves, and your head on his shoulder, you wouldn’t have traded it for the world. Though, it brought about a fundamental truth - you were not having passionate sex with your enemy. No, you found that you liked being around Haechan. 
The two of you had finished a quick dinner before the realization hit that Jessica would be coming back home from her night class soon. With a shared glance, you and Haechan both knew he should probably head back to his place. You reluctantly walked him to your front door, hand reaching for the knob to open it when Haechan’s hand grabbed hold of your own. You look up at him, confused, but he just stared down at you with a grin before leaning in to kiss you. “We can do this more often, too.” He says softly as he pulls back. You raise your brows in question. 
“Kiss?” You reply, trying to figure out what he was referring to. 
Haechan laughs, shaking his head and making his hair fall messily around his eyes. “No- well, yes, I always want to kiss you, but I’m talking about just hanging out. You know, playing Mariokart and all that…if you want! We don’t have to, I can just come over and immediately undress you and I wouldn’t mind that either-”
“Hyuck,” you say with a laugh, cutting him off. “We’ll hang out more, don’t worry. Besides, we still have the 200 cc circuits to beat.” 
You watch as he smiles brightly back down at you before leaning back in, this time to kiss every inch of your face and turn you into a giggling mess. “I’ll see you soon.” He says smoothly, and then he’s finally out the door and leaving you blushing profusely because you think Haechan just admitted to enjoying being around you, too. 
A couple of Fridays later, Haechan lets himself into your dorm as casually as ever when he comes over to actually hang out with Jessica. At the sound of the door closing, Jessica walks out from her room to greet Haechan, who already had his attention occupied by the new addition to your kitchen table. “Flowers? I didn’t know you could keep things alive.” He jokes as he turns around to face Jessica. She just rolls her eyes with a laugh.
“They’re not mine. Y/n bought them, and for your information, I can actually keep flowers alive way better than she can, thank you very much.” She replies, and Haechan turns back to study the bouquet again, trying to memorize them before Jessica could catch onto his actions.
“Should’ve known y/n bought them - these aren’t the prettiest flowers by a long shot.” He says with a scoff. 
Jessica shakes her head. “You should be glad she isn’t home right now to hear you say that. The bluebells in there are her favorite flower in the world.” At this, Haechan shoots his gaze back towards Jessica.
“Really?” He asks, furrowing his eyebrows after the fact to try and cover up the genuine curiosity that painted his question. Jessica seems not to notice as she just nods her head, but that’s when you finally come in through the front door, and they both turn their attention towards you.
You didn’t know Haechan was going to be at your place right now, but you probably should’ve guessed with it being a Friday - if Mark and Jessica weren’t going on a solo date, their friend group typically hung out and bar hopped all together. Regardless of the fact that Jessica was there, you couldn’t bring yourself to put on a look of disgust once you saw Haechan. Instead, you were radiating off a sort of empty feeling - you weren’t really sad, just hollow, not concerned enough to fake-hate Haechan. You don’t say a single word in greeting as you just go to your room and start getting things ready for a shower. 
Haechan turns back to Jessica with raised eyebrows. “Where did she just come from?” He asks, wondering what the hell had you looking like that. 
“Ummmm, today’s Friday, right?” Jessica asks, then looking at the time. “She just got back from quantum mechanics.” She answers, and that seems to calm her worries - she would look dead every time she had to sit through quantum mechanics, too. On the other hand, Haechan’s hands balled into fists. He knew that class was with your dick of a professor, and he could only guess as to what disgusting things he threw your way this time that had you feeling so dirty you had to shower right away. 
Haechan wanted to barge into your room, wrap you in the biggest hug, and let you cry in the comfort of his arms, but he couldn’t - not with Jessica here. With every muscle in his body tensed up, he thought about the consequences of his actions should he go wrap you in a hug anyways, but that wouldn’t be fair to you. You were a part of whatever relationship the two of you had going on, and you both agreed that relationship stayed hidden. He couldn’t ruin that now without your consent.
Instead, he just looked back at Jessica flatly, flashing his eyebrows in recognition of the answer, and then quickly moved along. “Do you wanna head out to meet up with the guys?” He asks in return, and if there was any desperation in Haechan’s voice conveying how much he needed to get out of your dorm before he cracked, Jessica didn’t pick up on it. She nodded, grabbing her things, knocking on your door to let you know they were heading out, and then following Haechan out of the dorm.
Before you knew it, six months had passed since Haechan lost his dad, and you decided to surprise him with his favorite meal. It wasn’t like the two of you weren’t planning dinners/hangouts/hookups basically every day anyways, but you still wanted this one to be more lowkey, more intimate in an emotional, rather than physical, way, and a surprise dinner would do just that. You picked up his favorite takeout for the both of you before driving over to his place, pulling out your spare key to his house with excitement overtaking you as you walked in.
“Hey, Hyuckie. I’m here with din- Oh god.” Your face, along with the bag of food in your hands, instantly drops as you turn back from the closed door to his living area, only to notice him on top of another girl…his ex. Tears immediately sting at the back of your eyes, and you’re using everything in you to not let them fall down your face.
Haechan pops up as soon as you had started speaking, his eyes wide as he turns to look at you over his shoulder, and his body still straddled over his ex. “Y/n!” He yells out in shock.
His ex moves to prop herself up on her elbows, giving her a clear view of your frozen state at the door. Then, she rolls her eyes with a laugh. “Oh, I forgot she was the one getting my sloppy seconds.”
Your brows furrow. In any case, this could have been two friends grabbing dinner together. There was no way for her to so confidently say you were hooking up with her ex without him saying so. You face Haechan with betrayal covering your entire being. “So much for not kissing and telling, huh Haechan?” You spit out before walking back out of his place and slamming the door.
When you were finally outside, that’s when you gave yourself the chance to bawl your eyes out. You knew you wouldn’t be able to drive home safely without letting yourself cry beforehand. What sucked is that it gave Haechan time to fling the front door open. “Y/n-” He starts, grabbing your wrist to stop you from walking. You do your best to face away from him entirely, yanking your wrist out of his hand and cutting him off.
“Don’t touch me, Haechan!” You choke out, and he lets go immediately, regardless of the desperation on his face.
“Look I-”
You stop him again, his voice alone sending more tears down your face. You finally turn to him, slowing your words down so your voice doesn't crack, or at least, you tried to. “How long has it been going on?”
Haechan’s face and shoulders drop in unison. “This is the first time she’s been back over since the break up.” He replies softly.
You shake your head, none of it making sense and all of it hurting you. “Why…?” You had more of a question prepared, but that was all you could get out. You watch as Haechan sighs.
“I ran into her at a darty today. She approached me and started conversation. I tried not to involve myself in it, but she laughed and told me I was stupid for not wanting to talk to her because she said no one else will ever love me. And when I went to refute, I accidentally mentioned you. And she- she laughed again, telling me that I was dumb for thinking you would ever care for me, cause you hate me. And I couldn’t think of anything to say in response. And so then we ended up here.” The more he spoke, the more enraged you became. You shake your head in disgust.
“Fuck you!”
Haechan’s eyes widened. “What-”
You make sure to maintain eye contact with him as you begin to speak, though your words were broken up by your intense sobs. “You couldn’t think of anything to say against her point?! Who was the one washing off the makeup she made you put on? Who was the one telling you that the last thing you needed to do was cover up your stupid pretty face in the first place? Who was the one with a contact lens case in their bathroom so you could take them out and wear your glasses while you were over because you’re more comfortable in them? Who was the one you came to for comfort when you lost your dad-?”
“I went over to find Jessica!” He yells, cutting you off, but you don’t take any of it.
“But you stayed when you saw it was just me! Haechan-”
“Can you stop fucking calling me that?!” He pleads, tears now running slowly down his own cheeks. 
All you can do is shake your head again sadly. “I don’t understand how you could go through all of that with her and then go back to it. Do you know how idiotic I feel?! Sneaking around and lying to Jessica because I’m hooking up with her best friend, who everyone thinks I hate, by the way, behind her back. Being so euphoric from your touch that I want to tell the world but I can’t because you told me I couldn’t tell anyone, and I wasn’t gonna break that promise because I wanted to be able to keep seeing you- would do anything to keep seeing you. Thinking that maybe there was the smallest chance any of this was real to you, too. To be so upset over something I have no right to be upset about because you were never mine.”
“Y/n-” He says as gently as he could given both your states. You lose the courage to look him in the eye, instead dropping your gaze to the floor as you respond.
“I feel like an idiot, Haechan.” With that, you turn to get back in your car and go home, and Haechan doesn’t stop you. 
You continued to cry the entire drive back home, but you managed to stop the debilitating sobs, and instead soft, insistent tears just rolled down your face. You unlock the door to your house, your voice cracking as you announce your presence.
“I’m home.”
“Y/n-” Jessica starts excitedly, but then she sees your state and instantly panics. “-are you okay?! What happened?!” She continues, running up to where you stand defeated at the entryway.
“Is everything okay?” A male voice adds, and you sigh as your cries get more intense again.
“Mark is here. Of course Mark is here. Cause you guys are together and happy.” You say in a snarky response, and out of your peripheral, you see a frowning Mark take two steps back from the hug you and Jessica were encased in.
“Y/n, what is going on?” Jessica asks, more confused than ever because you’ve never been anything but happy for her and Mark. You shake your head rapidly in response.
“Nothing. You would hate me.”
Though your face was buried in her chest, you can sense her rolling her eyes. “I can assure you, I wouldn’t.” She states plainly, and though you knew she definitely would once she actually knew what was up, you took her words for what they were worth and your explanation tumbled out of your mouth.
“I’ve been hooking up with Haechan behind your back.”
Jessica immediately pulls away from the hug, making concerned eye contact with you instead. “WHAT?!”
Mark glances between the two of you, feeling incredibly like he was intruding, even more so because Haechan was his friend, too. “I’m uh- gonna go grab food!” He interjects before dashing out of the door behind you. With him gone, you continue with your explanation.
“For months, Jess. And we agreed not to tell anyone because it was just a friends with benefits thing, or enemies with benefits I guess. But it was more to me. It was real. I love him, Jessica.” The words just tumbled out of your mouth, but they were true, you knew so the second you said it. You loved Haechan.
Jessica looks at you with a frown. “So why the tears?” She asks gently, and you immediately drop your gaze to the floor, embarrassed, ashamed.
“I went over and unlocked his door with my spare key because we were gonna have dinner together.” You say slowly, your words finally coming out more even.
“Yeah?” Jessica probes when you had seemed to stop talking completely. You swallow hard, squeezing your eyes shut to avoid more tears from falling, but then you just spit it out.
“He was with his ex. On top of her. On the couch that knows my imprint.”
Jessica’s eyes widened impossibly. “Y/n-”
“Why the fuck would he do that, Jessica?” You practically shout, your rage finally mixing in with your sorrow.
Jessica just shakes her head, sucking on her bottom lip. “I don’t know.” She replies softly, and then she just holds you in silence until your tears finally stop and you move to lock yourself in your bedroom. 
Two days later, when there’s a knock on your door, you assume Jessica is there to try and get you to eat something again. You slump over to open your bedroom door, already preparing how to tell Jessica you still couldn’t imagine stomaching food yet, when instead, it’s Haechan’s worried gaze meeting yours. Your eyes widen, stinging with tears already, but you can’t bring yourself to close the door just yet - maybe it was the fact that he was in his glasses, goddamned skinny jeans, and a bouquet of flowers in his hand. “Y/n, it was the worst mistake of my life.” He says sincerely, and you drop your gaze to the floor.
“What? Getting together with me or her?” You ask with venom.
His response is instantaneous. “With her. Obviously!”
“You sure? You sure she doesn’t love you more than I do?” You spit back angrily, daring to look him in the eyes once again just to glare at him.
The sadness in his face neutralizes in an instant, and he stares back at you with wide eyes. “You- do you- do you love me?” He asks hesitantly in response, and the tears you’d been holding back fell freely now.
“I’m not fucking putting myself through this.” You respond defeatedly, and you immediately close the door in his face, running to bundle up in bed in a mess of tears. 
When you finally step out of your room again to grab a water bottle, you’re met with the bouquet Haechan had in his hands now laying on the counter. You walk up to it, reading the sticky note now attached. 
This was the only bouquet they had with bluebells…I know they’re your favorite. Coincidentally, one of their meanings is forgiveness (according to the flower shop guy, at least). There’s nothing I want more than your forgiveness. Y/n, I messed up so bad, I know, I’m sorry. I never should have done that. I don’t know why I did that, not when you’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I’m sorry I never made you mine when I really had the chance. I was terrified you didn’t feel for me the way I do for you, but now I know how stupid that was. You’re the only one to ever care for me the way you do, and if you decide that what I did was too terrible, just know you’ll forever be my standard…my beautiful, incomparable standard.
When Jessica walked in through the front door after grabbing lunch with Mark, she found you still standing there in the kitchen, looking down on the now tear-stained note as your body still shook with sobs. 
She walked over to the counter, silently sliding the note away from where it laid in front of you to read it herself. From your right, you hear her sigh and she’s quick to put down the note and wrap you in a hug instead. You stay crying in her arms for what you felt had to be too long, but she never said a word about it if it was. 
Your days quickly started to blur, all of them feeling the same as you would drag yourself to class and then back home, with no extra plans to ever keep you occupied or active. You were currently on the couch, sweats adorning your figure, Bones on the TV, and a pint of ice cream in your hands. You had given up on trying - no longer caring about nice outfits or makeup, hardly eating anything of actual substance. As long as you had enough energy to sit through class, you considered it a win. It was after dinner time when Jessica got back from one of her dates with Mark, closing the front door to turn around and see you as her face falls. 
“Hey…how are you?” She asks lightly, walking over to where you sat in the living room.
You don’t move your gaze away from the TV, or more so, the ice cream you were eating. “Fine. Why?” You reply monotonously, and Jessica looks at you defeatedly.
“Because sweetheart, it’s been two months and you’re still devouring pints of icecream at a time on our couch.”
“I don’t like life without him.” You spit out in reply, though your voice is weak, and the more you thought about how true the statement was, the closer you got to tears. 
Jessica reaches over to brush some of your hair back from where it covered your face, making sure the two of you could make eye contact. “I know. He feels the same way, you know?”
“You’re just saying that.” You snap back instantly, but Jessica shakes her head.
“No, I’m not. I wouldn’t do that to you. Every time I go over to his place, he looks almost exactly like you do. He keeps beating himself up, saying he should’ve stuck to his plan for your birthday, that everything would’ve worked out perfectly if he knew you at least tolerated him before he indulged in your physical attractiveness.”
This finally gets your attention, and your face fills with confusion, feeling something other than sadness for the first time in two months. “Wh- what do you mean his plan for my birthday?”
Jessica seems surprised at the question. “Oh, I thought he would’ve told you. He was gonna pick you up from class and walk you back here so he could wish you a happy birthday.” 
In an instant, all of the color drains from your face again. “Why didn’t he?”
“I don’t know. He never told me.” Jessica answers seriously, now cementing the idea you had in your mind of what happened, everything clicking into place.
You finally speak again after what felt like forever of silence, your brain going 100 miles an hour. “...Do you know where he is now?” You ask seriously, and Jessica doesn’t hide her shock at your change in behavior.
“No, but I can find out. You okay?” She asks, and you just shake your head.
“No. No, not at all.” You reply, and you’re already up off the couch, rushing to put the pint of ice cream away and change into nicer clothes as Jessica texts Haechan, who just so happened to be at home…because his daily routine practically reflected yours over the past two months.
You knock harshly on his door, pacing back and forth as you wait for him to answer, nerves coursing through your entire being. After what felt like a lifetime, the door cracks open, and all of your movements pause. At first, it’s hardly open enough to see him at all, and you gulp back your awkwardness. “What do you-” He starts quietly, but he quickly recognizes you from the tiny view he allowed himself, and suddenly the door is swung wide open. “Y/n?” 
You stare up at him, heart melting at the sight. He was in a big hoodie and wearing his glasses, making the corners of your mouth perk up in a smile. Though, the smile quickly drops as you take in the rest of his features. Jessica was right, he looked as bad as you. To be fair, he was still the most attractive man alive, but he had dark circles around his eyes, and he looked as though he hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. 
You lick your lips, which were now noticeably dry, building the courage to speak as you did so. “You were gonna pick me up from class on my birthday?”
His eyes go wide as he moves his gaze away from you for the first time since he opened the door. “I-”
“Hyuck.” You cut him off, staring up at him intently and getting him to crack with a huff of breath.
“Yeah…yeah I was. Jessica said it was your birthday. And we still weren’t friends then, but I would’ve felt bad not at least wishing you a happy birthday. So I texted Jessica to see where you were and decided I would just walk you back from class. And I-” He breaks off with a faint laugh as he recalls the memory. “I put on a pair of skinny jeans beforehand because I figured even if you hated me, you found me at least a little more tolerable in skinny jeans. Then I went to go pick you up. When you didn’t come out with the rest of your class, I went inside the lecture hall to see what was up or if I just missed you somehow. That’s when I saw you talking to your professor. That’s when I heard his comments. You weren’t even in anything close to scandalous anyways. You just dressed up for your birthday. You were pretty. That was it, so I figured it wasn’t a one-off thing. How you handled it made me think it wasn’t the first time for it to happen, either. You could barely see your wince. The same couldn’t be said for me, though. I was mad, fuming. I got out of there as soon as I could so that I’d be out of sight by the time you got out. If you saw me and started a conversation, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from bringing it up. God, I was so angry, and I figured that wasn’t what you wanted on your birthday.” He faced the ground while he spoke, but you studied his figure the entire time, your eyes finding their home as they landed on Haechan again after all this time. You hardly let him finish his last word before you speak up.
“Tell me you want to kiss me.” You say, and Haechan finally whips his head back up to face you, eyes wide in surprise. “Tell me you want to kiss me and have it mean something outside of these walls.”
“What?!” He responds, visibly thrown off. You don’t have the patience for it.
“Hyuck!” You say, and Haechan seems to come back to the moment, nodding his head rapidly.
“I do! I want to kiss you. Always.” 
The biggest of smiles overtakes your face as you press up on your tiptoes to finally lock your lips with his again. One of his hands immediately flew to your waist, while the other placed itself lightly on the side of your face, holding you as though one harsh movement would cause this moment to break, this dream to end. When you pull back for air, Haechan wastes no time. “Y/n, please be my girlfriend. Please be mine. Please let me tell the entire world that you’re mine.” He says, his intonation practically making it a beg. 
You nod your head before digging it into his chest in a tight hug. “I’m yours.” 
492 notes · View notes
lunarfleur · 1 year
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Earth 42! Miles Morales General Hcs
Tagging: @juneberrie @hiyaitssans @sluggmuffin
Warnings:Mention of death, fighting, insecurity, smoking weed
A/N: I love my silly little guy
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I see a lot of people view this Miles as like this scary tough go who one crosses
But I respectfully disagree
Miles is probably a dork in every universe. He’s quiet, reserved, and put together. Ganke’s is really his only friend, but they don’t hang out. He prefers to be alone.
He doesn’t start fights, because he knows his mom wouldn’t like it, but trust he will finish them ☝🏻
He’s actually really silly. Like he makes funny comments when he’s comfortable and jokes around a lot. And his laugh is contagious, it’s adorable.
People don’t like him, but they don’t hate him. Teachers like him cause he’s a good student. Students are able to like him because he’s not hard to work with. He’s smart and quiet and nerdy.
He has a lot of built up anger. He just doesn’t show it because he doesn’t want to make his mother worry.
He loves his mother more than anything. She always comes first.
He saves up his prowler money for her. Birthday gifts, Mother’s Day gifts, Christmas gifts, etc…
He never argues with. She works so hard to support him and he knows that. She tells him to do the dishes even when he’s tired and doesn’t want to? He does it.
He tells her he loves her. Every day. Because he does.
Miles’s anger comes from his frustration with himself about his mother. She overworks herself, but he can’t do more than just be there? How is he supposed to be okay with that?
When he’s at home and Rio’s working late, he always stays up to make sure she comes home. And when she falls asleep on the couch? He’s walking out of his room, slipping off her shoes is she didn’t get to it, and tucking her in tightly.
He always kisses her goodnight.
best bet he HAS slow danced with her in the living roo
Okay okay moving on from the sappy stuff 😭
The difference between him and his 1610! Counterpart is that his music was heavily influenced by Aaron.
He listens to some modern rap, but a very large majority of it is 90’s hip-hop and rnb.
Also some of his mother’s favorite songs
He has a pretty large record collection
And prefers airpods to any other kind of headphone
Literally has a plain black phone case 😭
I hate to say it but bro’s short 💀
Idc what is or isn’t cannon, bro’s tiny
But has abnormally large hands
Was one of those kids with GINORMOUS ears until he grew into them 🧍‍♀️
Bro has literally nothing on his bed, except for like a thousand pillows and one blanket
He used to play piano (still does at school but no one has to know)
And likes art just as much as 1610! Miles.
Except he mainly draws what he sees?
His mother, the sky, flowers, that kind of thing…
His inspiration comes from the world around him versus in his head
He’s a giggly bitch at heart
If he wasn’t so stubborn, he’d laugh at everything
42! Miles was one of those guys blessed with clear skin. I just know it.
AND the prettiest freckles (every version of Miles has this)
Only ever cries in front of his mother or at night when he’s supposed to be sleeping
He’s not actually afraid of being vulnerable? Like he doesn’t like doing it in front of other people but he doesn’t try to stop it?
Bros eyes are majestic
This is going off topic but I love his nose 🧍‍♀️
He’s really skinny for some reason
And he’s got one of those really pretty waists for some reason
Loves cargo pants
He’s actually got really good style 😭
Miles has a pull up bar in his room I just know it
Works out consistently
Is a sucker for rom com movies (and is very ashamed of it)
Hates going to the pool (he hates the smell of chlorine)
But likes going on walks?
Loves the smell of rain and smoke from like blown-out candles and bonfires
Hates the smell of lavender
Also loves the smell of vanilla because it makes him think of his mom
Uses Old Spice Bearglove deodorant
And semi-nice cologne? Like not expensive but not cheap?
Bro smells gooooooood
Purple is his favorite color
But he also quite likes pink because it goes well with purple
This Miles has lips that are not chapped (1610! Miles does)
Uses lotion multiple times a day so his hands are soft asf
Is a straight A student
And this boy was raised right so he’s not one of the guys girls worry about?
Like he’s chillin
If someone asks him out and he’s not interested? He’s cool about it
“I’m sorry, I don’t see you like that.”
One of the few situations where he says “I’m sorry” instead of “my bad.”
He doesn’t want to be viewed as a bad guy. He actually really cares about it.
Bros locker is boring asf 😭
Really likes cats and stops to pet (and sometimes feed) strays
Is surprisingly alright with kids? He’s got baby cousins and stuff
He’s one of the few guys who’s confident in his masculinity
Would paint his nails black if he didn’t hate the smell
One of those early to bed and early to rise mfs
He’s got a good sleep schedule
He has gotten high before like off a cart (for anyone who doesn’t know what that is, it’s basically weed in liquid form)
He doesn’t do it consistently or often, so he’s not addicted, but he’ll do it if it’s there
Has a lot of one sided friends (??)
Like he’s a friend to them but they’re not friends to him?
A lot of those are guys who are dicks to girl and doesn’t fuck with that
Cause his mother always taught him to ask himself, “would I want someone to do that to my mother?”
He doesn’t go out of his way to correct them, cause (A) it’s probably just gonna start a fight and (B) chances are, they won’t listen anyway
He’s an honest boy, you know?
He’s pretty craft with like machinery and stuff
He’d make a good mechanic
His least favorite class is English, but he’s a pretty good reader
He’s a math, science kind of smart
There’s pictures of him and certain family members around his room, as well as like 2 of him and Ganke
He thinks of his dad every
And talks to him sometimes, too.
After his dad’s death he kind of pushed his mother away?
But he ended up alright.
Likes buying flowers to keep in vases around the house because his mom likes plants and color
He takes care of them for her
He loves the Rush Hour movies
Actually considered joining the basketball team
Snuggles with blankets and pillows at night
And really likes the tight shirt and baggy pants look
He’s got a nice build
His phone’s wallpaper is a picture of him with his parents
He’d never change it.
He really loves The Boondocks
Miles has a collection of small pieces of memorabilia?
Like movie tickets, dried flower petals, polaroid pictures…
His room is always terrifyingly organized
Like more than a normal person’s
He doesn’t even know how he does
Overall, he’s a chill guy.
150 notes · View notes
ana-mp3 · 5 months
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INTRO <3 | TW: ED mentions
DISCLAIMERS:
This blog is meant to serve as an online diary and a place where I can talk about my struggles (ED, depression, ADHD, etc.). If you do not like what I post please BLOCK, DON'T REPORT.
I am NOT promoting EDs or any mental health issues I talk about.
I am very pro-recovery
ABOUT ME:
Hello! My name is Lilian, but I go by Lili. I'm queer (I really don't know TT. I'm either bi or a lesbian). I am a minor (6teen). I used to be @Lazyana (but got termed :/). I'm not sure what else to talk about.. so here are some of my interests :D. I LOVE music! I love listening to music, playing instruments, and singing! (Although I am terrible). I can play the flute, and I'm learning the piano and guitar :D (All incredibly half-assed I should mention). Along with music, I quite enjoy Philosophy/Ethics, Psychology, Geography, Vexillology, and Etymology! (Typing this out I just now realize how boring I am).
ABOUT MY ED:
(Be advised, this is very ramble-y and typed at 03:30)
I have atypical @nørexia (Which diagnostically isn't that different from regular @nør3xia). It's all the same criteria, just not being underweight. I've never received any type of treatment/medical attention for my ED. I've had an on-and-off ED for a few years now, but it got serious this year. I've always been insecure about my body, ever since elementary school. I have always been taller and a bit bigger than all my friends (It didn't help that they were/are all just naturally very skinny and short) and so I've found my ED journey(?) extremely lonely and isolating. An ED in itself is already a deeply lonesome experience, but with the addition of all your friends (ever) being the standard you so desperately wish you were just throws in new emotions. Sadness, anger, jealousy, guilt, shame, and knowing that they would never (truly) understand what you're going through. (I'm not saying that skinny people can't have ED's. I'm saying that they wouldn't understand what it's like to be bigger with an ED). I haven't told anyone about my ED for a few reasons. 1) I don't want to be a burden that they have to watch over. I don't want them to be worried about me constantly (I also don't want to feel pressured to eat). 2) I am not at the results I want yet. I've always had a thought in the back of my mind, "You can eat/get better/get help/etc., once you're skinny" and surprise surprise, I'm not there yet. 3) I just know they wouldn't/couldn't understand. They all are skinny/short/really pretty, blessed with fast metabolisms. How could they understand that I have to ⭐ve myself to get skinner. How could they understand that I hate how I look so badly, that I need to punish myself for it. How could they possibly understand my obsessively toxic mindset, where I'm acutely aware of everything I've ate and the calories I've consumed (I can't forget what I've ate until I log it). 4) They'd never look at me the same. Sure, they wouldn't judge me for it, but I'd always have that target stuck on my back forever. I'd always be 'the girl with the ED'. 5) This is one of my most vulnerable secrets I'm keeping. I can barely communicate with my friends about significantly less intense mental health issues, let alone a god damn ED.
STATS:
SW: 178lbs/80kg
CW: 160.6lbs/73kg
GW1: 154lbs/70kg
GW1: 147lbs/67kg
GW2: 140lbs/63kg
GW3: 132lbs/60kg
GW3: 127lbs/58kg
UGW: 110lbs/50kg
height: 5'8/173cm
That has been that <3. (Again please don't report, It really doesn't help in any way :( please just block me)
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honeyxgang · 1 year
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im slowly being forced outta retirement bc nobody is writing the fic ideas i have in my head so to start here’s some waka headcanons. mostly sfw but gets spicy toward the end so yktv mdni
Short King Waka Headcanons 🤲
SFW
doesnt just like trolling people, he can also be very playful
actually did really well in school just didnt like going relatable
shit almost went left in his youth with alcohol but his friends helped him through shoutout to the final timeline
loves kissing and his favorite feature on a potential love interest is lips so hope you’ve been hydrating. bonus points if you have on a gloss instead of lipstick. the shine catches his attention
is eternally grateful to rihanna for fenty gloss he’s now willing to go to war for her
if he really likes someone he gives them a nickname
is very physically affectionate. hugs, cuddles, holding hands, etc he doing allat
since he has an oral fixation he actually takes really good care of his teeth + makes sure his lips are always moisturized
aka straight, white teeth + and a literal perfect smile 😩
wears cologne. he smells delicious. probably the mixture of the cologne and pheromones
doesnt enter into romantic relationships often instead being more likely to flirt casually with absolutely no intention of it going anywhere/the occasional one night stand
believes in letting girls down gently if they do catch feels though
team his parents are alive. no sibs though
gets mistaken for a child me too
has a motorcycle and a car (i see him as a man with money idc idc idc)
deflee into rap, hip hop, and r&b
comes off very very very aloof until he gets to know someone. he’s not shy through
some girls are disappointed to get to know him and find out he’s not even the stereotypical bad boy/fuckboy. dude watches documentaries and enjoys learning new things and is completely unashamed of that and would probably be first to apologize in a fight. his version of netflix & chill is him putting on a wwii documentary and you not being there
that’s one way to pique his interest though teach him something he didnt know before
wears other jewelry too (necklace, bracelet)
the type of bf who would lose his mind if you got a necklace with his name or initials
very laidback and slow to anger
he fought in his youth because he was targeted for his height. then he kept fighting bc he liked throwing his weight around 🤷‍♀️
hates bugs to the point where he might make you go kill whatever has got in 😐
could use some work with verbal communication (“im glad manjiro died” cmon bruh. ik that happened in one of the fucked up timelines however im sure he still sucks bc he only talks to 3 people)
by that i mean he can come off sounding harsh af when that’s not his intention. unfortunately he’s a straight arrow. hope you have tough skin
NSFW
keeping in line w black twitter’s “dudes w the best d” ranking since he is both skinny and short he is hung like a horse that’s where his height went and knows what he’s doing when laying pipe 🤌
high school was a very horny time for him
you would not fucking guess that just by looking at him and idk where he tucks his third leg
seriously theres always a moment of silence when he gets his pants off. whoever is about to have their spine realigned is like 👀 and he’s just sitting there like 😏
tripod is long and thick good luck sis 🫡
doesn’t do one night stands often or at his place bc once somebody gets a taste they’re ready to commit to his dick marriage
uses condoms bc he’s not ready for fatherhood. if he doesn’t have any he’s not penetrating. yall can do oral though
1000/10 in bed because he likes eating pussy AND will fold you into the mattress 🧎‍♀️
loves getting his dick sucked and he 100% believes in dsl’s 🫦
they gotta look natural though. he has a grudge against kylie jenner for influencing so many people to get botched lip injections 😒
he’s gonna watch bc the way somebody lips stretch to fit him + get all red and plump from putting in work? >>>>>>>
100% the type to grab hair
and the headboard
also will push your knees to your chest if yall in missionary seriously he’s small but man’s is strong
comes to the slow conclusion that he’s an ass man and therefore loves anything from behind
if you’re sending nudes gon head and send something in a thong or g string. if you haven’t heard from him in a few days he might call you
will spank you. just be ready for that
believes life is too short for bad sex and therefore is permanently on demon time 😮‍💨
you’re going to question all of your life choices once youve survived finished. also good luck walking
maybe take a day off work
in conclusion i am down bad
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Was she always sporty or just worked out after school and ran a couple hours, that sort of thing? Some people are already inclined to join the military in their youth, while others join because of other factors (money, no family left, could physically do it, like the challenge, etc.) which one applies to her?
Riot practiced ballet her whole childhood up until she left Spain, and martial arts (kickboxing mostly), but as a way to channel her anxiety/anger, not because of love of sport. Ballet helped her keep her mind blank of everything, just focusing on the music, and kickboxing helped with her anger issues.
Puberty hit her hard with PCOS and she's never been skinny per se, and she became chubbier in her teen years. It wasn't until she decided to enlist that she started training hard for the UK army fitness test. Although military life always called to her, due to both her grandfather and abuelo's influence (both of them military, her grandfather a colonel in the Black Watch, and her abuelo a former Caballero Legionario), her parents were completely against military, and wanting their approval, she never voiced that desire to them.
Once everyone else was gone, she had nothing else, and decided to enlist, and to try and joing a counter terrorism group to fight the kind of people that killed her parents (and by proxy, her last surviving grandparent)
So she joined both because she had that childish dream, the desire to please her grandfather, and because she had nothing else, or no one.
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sergeifyodorov · 1 year
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in your post about the 2015 draft i really take issue with you saying babcock loved auston and mitch was his whipping boy. firstly if anything babcock’s whipping boy was nylander, who he allegedly openly disliked. secondly babcock had a lot of issues with auston and apparently treated him quite poorly, including something unknown that was so bad that babcock flew to auston’s house in arizona to try and make amends with him. he certainly did not love auston or the way auston played hockey.
also no offense but describing mitch as “the skinny pretty unmanly one” (???? 6’0 180lbs) and saying that’s why he got bad press during contract negotiations is ridiculous. he got bad press during those negotiations because his camp was being shitty! the marner camp was putting out articles about dubas being stingy, threatening that mitch would go play in zurich, demanding an identical contract to auston’s, making it a condition that mitch would share auston’s alternate captaincy, etc. people did not like that and i can’t blame them. but despite the sourness now it’s also absolutely false to say that people have been shitting on mitch since he was drafted - he was beloved on the knights and leafs fans back then were nothing but excited for him to join the team. most fans and media weren’t upset about his weight either - johnny gaudreau, patrick kane, cam atkinson, mats zuccarello etc are all smaller and were already established stars/top line players when mitch came into the league. it truly was not something mentioned frequently by anyone except hockey tumblr.
sorry for the lengthy and perhaps rude or confrontational message but hockey fans on tumblr and twitter have been treating mitch like a sweet bumbling overgrown kid who can’t control anything that happens around him since he became a leaf. often that’s involved comparing him to auston in ways that are honestly kind of weird and racist (mitch is so soft and unmanly and small while auston is so unfriendly and masculine and big and latino!!!) and it’s supremely frustrating to see that that’s still the case
I do want to thank you for this message -- I wasn’t personally there for most of this and got a lot of this information secondhand, although I read a lot of articles I could from the time that this was happening in order to clear up some of my claims. Willy being Babcock’s most hated sounds a lot more accurate; I admit that I characterized a lot of the drama more as a story than as perfect journalism, and adding him in would have taken another thousand words.
It’s also worth noting that Nylander was, of the core three, the real whipping boy, up until a few years ago when everyone suddenly realized/decided that he was the only one who could score in the playoffs, and then did a total pivot onto Mitch. (Not sure if this was spurred by one of the various playoff meltdowns or the contract negotiations, given that both of them had complicated and difficult ones.) Nylander has certainly experienced a lot of xenophobia for his Swedishness as well as anger at his nonchalance; Don Cherry used to hate him as well. Unlike Marner, though, he didn’t outwardly react to any of it -- both fueling the narrative of him as “uncaring” and of Marner as “sensitive.”
There is actually some report of people being skeptical of Mitch’s ability translating to the NHL because of his size: this link expresses some concerns (also worth noting he only cracked 180 pounds this year; he was hovering 170 for a great deal of the time before that, and given that he’s a few inches taller than the likes of Gaudreau and Kane, he is much less sturdy-looking.) 
When it came to Auston, that fetishization of his race and perceived hypermasculinity is part of the big problem of the perception of the main Leafs’ core, although definitely looking back on my post I admit the line blurs on him specifically as to what I am stating *I* believe versus what the narrative around him was/is, and I apologize for that. A lot of hype around him was being linked to his ~unusual~ background at the time, and especially because he’s a lot more reserved and well-media-trained than Marner or Nylander (as well as being a better hockey player) he was kind of used as a way to demean them, which dehumanizes him in the process. Across hockey media and fandom I do tend to see this uncomfortable mischaracterization of him as dominating, rude, potentially even possessive (especially re Mitch in fandom -- considering Mitch is lily-white, the man of colour dominating his younger-looking smaller white compatriot is uh. Not a good dynamic to consider) when this is the man who cried during an interview because of how much he loves his mom! 
Finally, I want to argue that while, yes, the difficulty of the contract negotiation in and of itself was a big part of the reason Mitch is so widely disliked in Leafland, part of the perception of him as soft (and other vaguely homophobic things) likely exacerbated the feelings resulting from it, or at least the two are inseparable in hindsight. Marner’s camp was uppity and the man himself stumbled over words and reacted harshly; most people don’t really separate the words of the agency from the words of the player, and combined those two add to create a picture of “sensitive,” “high-maintenance,” and even “immature.”
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magicbringsmalice · 1 year
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Facts about UnderWizard & UnderMalice characters!~ [Part 1]
[TW for abuse and possessive behavior.]
1-Blood (UW!Fell) found Dusklight (UM!Fell) in Snowdin when the two were young children. Blood couldn't take Dusklight in yet in fear of his abusive mother lashing her anger out on the poor thing as well. So he set up a tent in an area nearby for Dusklight to stay in, and everyday Blood would stop by to give it something to eat for the day, as well as lend his own clothes to it. He made sure to provide Dusk with everything despite his own tough situation. Because of how generous and caring Blood was, Dusklight always admired him and the two saw eachother as siblings.
2-You're probably wondering, what was Dusklight doing in UnderWizard? Simple. It wanted to get away from it's own AU after escaping the lab it was created in. It wanted to go somewhere new and start a fresh life. UnderMalice was too fucked up even for Dusk-
3-It was Blood who taught Dusk how to control it's magic better. In return, Dusklight gave Blood a small portion of it's own power as a way to show it's gratitude. Before being given this power however, all Blood could do was use his own soul magic and summon fire.
4-Nova (UW!Ink) has nowhere to live. She gains nothing from her job as a protector, so she's often forced to steal gold to spend on taverns and stay there for the night. Gotta do what you gotta do for survival.
4-Nova seems to resist the urge and not eat much, instead she tries saving the meals for a day when she really needs them. However..there is one thing she can't resist. And it's whiskey.
5-Nova can run faster compared to the other UnderWizard characters. Her and Eclipse (UW!Blueberror) are rather skinny.
6-Aurora (UM!Cross) and Comet (UM!Dream) used to be best friends, until Aurora was tricked into eating the black apple and turn into Karma. UW!Wicked witnessed it and to this day he still recalls his lover's agonizing screams of pain as he transformed to who he knows today.
7-Karma is known to be hella possessive towards Wicked, always asking where he's gonna go, what he's going to do, the exact time he'll return, etc. Everyone in the mansion wonders how on earth is Wick capable of putting up with him..Wicked really seems unbothered.
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aeipathcy · 10 months
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11. what’s something that you don’t get to express with your oc often? [ for reanne! ]
MEME┊accepting.
What’s something that you don’t get to express with your oc often?
OOC. tldr, ended up being an unorganized ramble that probably isn't very well organized or cohesive. I lost sight of some ideas as I was typing (big sad).
call out/acknowledge Reanne's bulimic eating habits if muses end up going out to eat somewhere
sibling dynamic conversations/conversations about siblings
idk how to express this but maybe someone noticing something behind the confidence she always has? I don't think muses really see her glaring issues despite how open she is with a lot of troubling things.
I believe I've mentioned this one in the past on random blog posts but I haven't gotten many opportunities for other muses to actually call out how abnormal Reanne's food-related (bulimic) tendencies are or even just acknowledge said abnormality (she still has them, and yes she is very stagnant with her therapy—honestly at this point I believe she stopped going since it wasn't helping, just haven't made it official until this post ig). Like, I can allude to them but they're never the focus of threads outside internal thoughts. I recall there was one muse I was able to kind of touch on that with but that mun decided to cut ties with me out of the blue. I was saddened by it since we had a good, but not so perfect/smooth dynamic building which is prime for exploring not so nice aspects of muses.
Lately, I haven't done anything related to it, but it is still a huge aspect of how Reanne copes with and processes her emotions (eating to chase away anxiety or sorrowful moods, depriving as form of punishment/dealing with guilt, purging out of guilt when she eats too much, freaking out when she weighs herself despite knowing she's supposed to weigh a little more to be healthy, constantly hating her body despite progress, etc.). Despite being better about anger, lashing out, and trauma dumping, Reanne cannot seem to cut the unhealthy eating patterns out of her life. She still carries trauma related to her body and appearance no matter how confident she acts—her outward confidence and almost ideal skinny body shape make it hard to actually see this, especially since Reanne would never step out of her house if she felt less than presentable. And considering she still obsesses over making sure her freckles are never visible, there's obviously still an issue that's unresolved there. I mean, Reanne is a walking contradiction that's hard to explain.
Even though Keith outwardly shows his issues more, Reanne is probably in a much deeper trench than he ever would be as the difference in their support systems is massive—she doesn't have anyone to help her through any of her impulsive binges or get through emotional spikes, and she is much more likely to relapse because of how quickly she turns to binge-purging as a coping mechanism. She cannot forgive her family for everything they've done to her, and she cannot confide in them, making it more than difficult to combat a habit that's been ingrained into her since well before her teenage years. Fashion industry, going out to eat, and clothes shopping are all very large potential triggers depending on her mood. Kinda forgot about this modern verse addition (alcohol cw, binge drinking cw, alcohol poisoning cw) but she also has an alcohol issue (underage drinking + binge drinker). Thankfully, she doesn't drink, and the most she does is threaten people with the cost of a hospital bill if they try to entice her that way.
This also brings me to a second point I don't get to explore. Sibling dynamics. I don't know what it is, but I want more of these conversations. Reanne's story is definitely triggering for people so I understand if others don't want to write anything that steps on the field of landmines that will come up, but this helps explore underlying drives behind how she acts (as all her responses and beliefs all lead back to her sister and upbringing). I've mentioned it before but Reanne does everything in her power to be someone different from her younger sister, Elanor. She is the older one, but at the same time, she feels completely inferior to Elanor. I have a number of posts talking about the contradiction surrounding this entire sibling relationship so I won't go into it here. Err, maybe I don't but I'm not making a new one or anything anytime soon.
Now that I think about it, nobody has seen behind her outward confidence and demeanor or thought to look beyond it (because of how straightforward she is) except for Keith (mainly because of the lore behind modern verse and he's technically known her for two lifetimes already). I find it funny how Keith is the person who tries to pass lies to hide problems and issues but everyone can see through him and acknowledges his issues, but Reanne is the person who openly shares almost everything so clearly yet nobody really bothers to acknowledge the issues and problems she's been blurting out to the world.
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greatshell-rider · 2 years
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Fists to hearts. Senrid grinned, walking on, faster and faster, as everyone he encountered, from officers to guards to servants—all of them, without exception, saluted. Elation bloomed behind his ribs and he began to run. He knew smiling faces could conceal violent intentions; he knew his work was only beginning, that danger had not disappeared, it had only receded. But still he ran. He ran despite tiredness, and hunger, despite worries, he felt light as a bird, the bloom inside blossoming in his heart as joy, and laughter streamed behind him.
i know these books involving the mearsieans are all kinda focused on the concept of kid rulers, and most if not all of the kids express at some point how adults failed them, adults never listen, adults don’t think they’re smart or strong enough to solve problems, etc. the inclusion of the age-slowing spell to keep kids younger for longer functions as both a mechanical tool to keep the kids around long enough to write many books about them lmao, but it also says interesting things about how youth and growing up is perceived and practiced in sartorias-deles.
these kids, the mearsieans, senrid, and lerorans, have all played critical roles in many an adventure, and a fair number of them involving norsunder, all forms of abuse, murder of parents, and other traumatizing events. in short, childhood has not been kind to them. this is most noticeable in senrid and kyale, as they’re closest to said trauma, have had it happen most recently to them, and for the most part until the events of this book had little to no support from other people (in contrast, leander had his loyal woodsmen squad, and the mearsieans have found each other, rallied under clair and cj). senrid has all his anger issues, paranoia, and insecurity about being perceived weak over ethics and white vs black magic. kyale complains about not being the most special person in the room, is snobby about servants, common folk, etc., and reacts to the slightest criticism or guilty feeling with anger. gonna focus more on senrid for this bit. a lot of senrid’s issues comes from how he was denied autonomy as a kid, and that lack of control is manifesting itself as those less-than-desirable characteristics.
this theme of senrid being regarded and treated as a powerless, stupid kid is repeated a lot in the book, perhaps most often in his voice, how it’s high-pitched and when he’s sick, weak, wavery, and described as the sound of many an animal lol. also his round face, skinny short frame, and how easily he resembles “seven out of ten” of the kids in marloven hess lol. senrid enhanced his cheery, careless child persona when under his uncle’s control to protect himself, but even after when he’s trying to secure the throne for himself and win the people’s loyalty, that perception of him being weak because he’s a kid is used against him and is something he has to overcome. which is tricky, since he can’t make himself grow up faster, merely prove to adults that despite his youth he’s still capable of ruling.
which is what makes the youth/age-slowing spell so compelling to me. the series leans dramatically in the opposite way of “kids grow up quick to become capable adults”. rather, our protags retain their youth in DEFIANCE of that perception. the mearsieans use the spell, as well as leander, essentially to take back some of the childhood that was stolen from them. they continue to be kids longer, continue to rule their kingdoms, continue to have adventures, and disdain the adulthood slowly creeping up on them. a big ole fuck you to “you’ll understand when you’re older” yknow lmao. no, they understand now, they’ve been through the shit, but they’re not letting that shit steal even memories/experiences as youth. they’re not growing up just to forget what it’s like to be a kid. they’re gonna damn well enjoy being kids, no matter what the world throws at them.
and though senrid doesn’t have the youth spell on him (yet? don’t remember if he does get it done eventually), his arc still fulfills that attitude, as seen in the quoted paragraph way up yonder. rather than walk slow and proud, dignified as some other ruler might try to be, to convey strength and wisdom to their subjects, senrid grins at seeing the salutes. he runs! he runs and laughs as he runs through the castle, as he never could before, the very image of a young and carefree child. embracing that youth, celebrating it, rejoicing in being a kid AND having control of his kingdom. it’s the first time in the whole damn book that we see senrid simply happy, not even a bit of sarcasm, and it’s incredible to behold. he’s no longer afraid to be seen as a kid, because he is a kid, and doesn’t feel it necessary to smother that part of him just because adults might look down on him for it.
maybe i missed it in the books i read as a kid but as an adult now it feels particularly important to point it out and emphasize it. i’ve read those posts saying kids as the heroes in their story with the useless adults are problematic or unrealistic and stupid, as well as the counterarguments about how it’s important for kids to see themselves as active forces that can cause change yknow, and i think these books do a nice job of showing both of that. yeah, it’s fucked up that kids have to step up and do adults’ job for them. but it’s also, like. not too surprising? kids are people. they’re gonna do shit, go on adventures, solve problems, and have traumatizing things happen to them. that doesn’t mean their childhood is forever ruined or tarnished in some way and they’ve automatically jumped up to some sort of pseudo-adult. nah. they’re kids still, AND they pulled off those heroics, even if, like in kitty’s case, said heroics are mostly sticking around, giving messages, and not dying. in this (fictional and real) world? not dying is pretty damn fucking impressive. no small thing to sniff at. and life? even as still a kid? especially still as a kid? that’s something to CELEBRATE
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the-slasher-files · 4 years
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Hello!! It's me again, I loved what you wrote from my last request, and I wanted to try if I could ask for another one. I know it's a holiday, so I understand if it's gonna be a while, or if you'll be unable to do it.
Picture this, s/o is out busy all day, leaving the slashers on their own. Then, while the slashers are in their duties, they spotted something that reminded them of s/o. It can either be clothings, accessories, or even the smell of something their s/o bakes, etc.
I would love to see how Michael and Jason (even the other slashers, for the other readers out there) would contemplate when something like that happens to them. Like a moment thinking about their s/o and recognizing their adoration for their s/o.
(Ask is a little long but I also wanna say I love you writings so much! Happy Holidays!)
oooooh I adore this!! Happy Holidays to you as well! Just to make it more painful I am going to make it so the s/o is gone for ‘longer’ making them yearn more :) Also forewarning there is quiet a bit of gore in this but not super bad, also includes people getting murdered and angsty vibes! hope you enjoy🔪💕
MASTERLIST
SLASHERS BEING REMINDED OF THEIR S/O WHEN THEY’RE GONE
INCLUDES JASON, and MICHAEL
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JASON VOORHEES
A creature quietly stirred in the shadows of the trees, moving rapidly but somehow silently. A ghost. A myth. A legend of Camp Crystal Lake. When you were gone and he was on the hunt, the man that bared the name Jason Voorhees, was ruthless. Everything he was with you as a lover was lost and replaced by violence, rage and a malicious intent. Brutally spilling blood in revenge, becoming one with the forest and lake that hid him effortlessly, waiting for the time to strike.
The small group of teenagers were in the rustic wooden cabin glimmering in the night by with the warm glow of the campfire outside, left abandoned for other activities. He could hear the groans, heavy breathes and muffled music from the drunk teens, creaking the old beds in a rhythmic pace. The creature white knuckled the wooden handle of his machete, forcing bones and veins to appear along the damaged skin.
The normally creaky floorboards of the porch did not creak for him, hiding his presence, almost as in appreciation for the man that kept up the camp and fed the woods surrounding. Jason made his way into the wooden structure quickly meeting a sizable man, shirtless, protecting a young female that stood behind him poised to scream but the air never left her lungs for the machete brutally skewered both teens with little effort. A river of scarlet seeped into the old wooden floorboards beneath the killers muddy boots as the blade was pulled out of the slumped corpses. With forceful steps Jason marched into the small bedroom ripping the door open, the hulking frame of the beast lunged toward the naked skinny teen and with the clean whoosh of metal blood sprayed everywhere, the bed, the floor, on Jason and coating the now screaming women beneath the teen. Quickly the creature grabbed her throat, pulling her up and squeezing, watching the life drain from her trembling body, lips turning blue and eyes bulging, she was gone in a simple few minutes.
The night fell silent again until a new muffled song appeared from the bathroom, a familiar song, one the creature had heard many times before. Turning slowly and gingerly pushing the wooden bathroom door open, steam swept through the air and a phone laid on the counter, a woman was in the shower singing alone to the song playing from the device.
The scene was yours but the smell and voice wasn't. It brought the creature to a strange state, one that placed the man in between his two persona's; deadly murderer and gentle lover. Jason stood observing for a moment, remembering all the nights he would come home and find your little naked body in the hot shower pretending as if you were on stage to thousands preforming your favorite songs. So cute, so pure and vulnerable, coating yourself in the beautiful floral scents you always seemed to dawn. Jason would often step into the stream with you usually fully clothed making you laugh-- Your laugh was even so adorable to the large man-- and he would run massive hands where he pleased along your soft skin, making you look so small under him. Perfection was an understatement to Jason, you were his everything and you took him for what he was, loving the man with all of your heart.
Jason missed you and missed you bad; gone for a week seemed like a year to him. Hating when your family pulled you away to the fast and loud city, which you told your lover you hated too but you both knew you would have to see them sometime, making sure you were fine.
A ridiculously out of tone lyric was sung and it ripped threw Jason’s ears, drawing his ire and pulling him into the killer character. This was not you, not your smell, not your voice. Swiping the phone to the floor the creature destroyed it under his boot with ease and forced the giant blood covered machete through the shower curtain and into the unfortunate soul behind it.
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MICHAEL MYERS
A scream broke the air of the cool October night. In the traditional white American home a crimson liquid painted the inside, smeared against the walls, sprayed along the flickering tv screen, pouring out of a woman. A man watched her, head tilted as she clawed against the grey carpet with one hand, while the other futility clutched her neck where a stream of blood ran. His anger was bright at the fact it wasn't you beneath him, bleeding out and crawling away helplessly.
The shape of Haddonfield had made home in the shadows tonight, slipping away between the cookie-cutter houses and stalking with warm glow from the windows. A blur of white and navy hid away for the moonlight didn't even want to touch the sick soul, seamlessly blending into the night.
He had watched her from the bushes with a feeling of desire forming in his core, burning fury and sick thoughts incased him. The shape could do things to her that he never could with you, but it wouldn't be the same, he knew. She had your same hair colour. Similar build. The same black hoodie. Baking something that smelled familiar.
You were gone, not at home but in your hometown. Far away from Haddonfield. Only one more night he counted in his head, one night too long. You had done everything to try and convince Michael to take the road trip with you but leaving his town wasn't something he ever wanted, you knew that and accepted it. However, Michael didn't accepted it, rage grew every hour you were gone, knowing he should have just tied you up in the bedroom, threatening to kill you. Fuck, he wanted to see how your blood would run between his fingers and shimmer on his cold metal blade. Something was different about you, and Michael just couldn't place it why he had kept you alive and allowed your touch for so long. It could've been your smell perhaps, it was sweet with a tinge of musk from himself; the copper smell fell flawlessly against your skin and mixed into a dangerous perfume. Maybe it was your nature, treating the man like a human instead of a demon, not ever wanting to push him on why he was the way he was, you just took what he gave you and it was enough. Every living thing has needs and you met his perfectly, unlike the bitch he watched.
Large boots squelched along the damp grass, striding with a wicked intent the shape quietly opened the back door of the home, stepping into the shadows of the hallway. Michael looped into the kitchen where the woman was; she gazed into the black eye holes of the white mask and screamed, faltering to the living room, Michael walked slowly grabbing the largest knife from the wooden block on the counter. Two large strides had the man towering over her figure, slitting her neck from ear to ear.
Michael had planned this from the very moment he saw her yesterday walking past the house you shared with him. She was not you, and that was the point.
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mochamamii · 4 years
Text
yandere!taeyong: monster.
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part two: Here
▹ a/n : I tried to write something a little outside my comfort zone. I've been enjoying writing Yandere stuff lately and I wanted to do a realistic take on the after effects of being kidnapped by a Yandere, and ultimately becoming pregnant. Like I always say, this is an example of a unhealthy relationship. In no way do I think Taeyong or any other member of NCT behaves this way.
▹ triggers : this gets kind of dark and It's very angsty. There's no smut but it gets a little suggestive at the end. Mentions of unwanted pregnancies, extreme weight loss, kidnapping, abusive relationships, etc. Please take all of this into consideration before you read. 
▹ description : yandere!taeyong kidnapped you and has been holding you hostage for months. Unfortunately you wind up pregnant and Taeyong has pledged to build a life with you, and your baby as a family. When Taeyong presents you with a choice, you realize that you’ve become permanently trapped by Taeyong forever.
your perspective
I grimaced as I looked back at my reflection in the mirror. My skin was extremely dull and paler than usual due to the lack of sun I'd been getting.
I looked nothing like myself, I had dropped a significant amount of weight in just a couple months. It's been hard keeping food down lately, I don't have an appetite for anything, and whatever I do eat I immediately throw up.
My arms and legs looked more like sticks than actual limbs, and places where I used to have feminine curves were replaced by hard angles.
I had even suffered some hair loss due to losing a drastic amount of weight in such a short period of time.
My grimace turned into a scowl as my eyes traveled down to my swollen belly.
I was reaching seven months pregnant, close to entering my third trimester. My body had become so thin and frail that it looked like I'd topple over due to my large belly.
My fists clenched tightly as I stared down at my stomach, as if the thing growing inside me could see me glaring down at them.
'I want you gone.' I thought to myself.
If I'm lucky, maybe this monster inside me will die of malnutrition.
I pinched my arm to shake the dangerous thoughts from my head.
I cut the bathroom light off and exited the bathroom, forgetting what I had originally went in there for before getting distracted by my own reflection.
The clock's hand on the wall just outside the bathroom moved towards the six, and everyday just like clockwork, the keypad to the front door beeped and swung open, revealing him.
The reason my belly is so big.
The reason there's a monster growing inside me.
Lee Taeyong.
"Honey! I'm home-
Taeyong paused as his eyes fell on me, "Ah, there you are. Were you waiting on me?" He questioned with a wide smile as he kicked his shoes off.
My eyes drifted down to the black plastic bag in his hand, I ignored his greeting and silently pointed to the bag.
Taeyong chuckled as he approached me, placing a kiss on my cheek, "You're impatient today aren't you?"
Taeyong leaned down to my stomach and placed a tender kiss on my belly, "Hi baby." He whispered.
I felt like vomiting.
"Appa's home now." He said with a smile before standing.
He headed over to the table in the middle of the living room, placing the bag down. I followed behind him closely, my curiosity getting the best of me. He kneeled next to the table as he fished out the contents of the bag.
"Don't you want to see?" He questioned as he paused to look up at me.
I blinked at him blankly, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of an answer.
Taeyong smirked knowingly at me before patting the spot on the couch before him. His eyes followed me as he watched me enter the living room and take a seat in front of him on the couch. He never moved from his original spot on the floor as he continued rifling through the black bag in search of something.
"It's been a while since you've painted your toenails right?" He asked as he pulled the contents from the bag to show me an assortment of brightly colored nail polishes.
I sighed as I peered down at my toenails, the paint on them was still there from when I did them a few weeks ago, although now the paint had started to chip and peel in different places. I couldn’t stand the sight of my toenails when they got like that, I was actually thankful when my belly had gotten so big I could no longer see my own feet.
I couldn't do anything about fixing my toenails anyways seeing as I stopped being able to reach my toes a while ago.
"Don't you want me to paint your nails for you? Won't that make you happy?" Taeyong smiled as he looked up at me excitedly,
I had to fight the urge to smack him.
I don't remember the last time I felt genuine happiness. And he's the reason.
Him and this fucking fetus inside me.
He searched my eyes for something before settling with a sigh, "Y/N...I'm trying..."
Try harder.
That's what I wanted to say to him.
His hands moved to clutch mine, lovingly interlacing our fingers together.
"I'm trying really hard to make up for what I've done in the past...But I can't if you won't even speak to me." He trailed, his thumb brushing over my skinny knuckles.
What did he want me to say?
It's okay Taeyong...I forgive you Taeyong for ruining my life.
If that's what he was waiting on me to say he'd die waiting to hear those words from me.
"I'll pick a color for you okay?" He said with a smile.
He squeezed my hand before pulling away to look back at the different colored polishes.
"Hmmm...blue?" He pondered, he turned to wave the sparkly blue polish at me in hopes of a response.
"It's okay if you still don't feel like saying anything. I'll keep trying until you forgive me." He smiled.
Don't bother.
He crossed his legs in front of me, placing my feet in his lap.
He carefully used a cotton ball and nail polish remover to take the paint already there off.
Taeyong continued to make mindless chatter and simple conversation as he removed the paint from my nails, none of which I responded to.
I had gotten so good at training my ears to drown his voice out that it was easy for me to forget that he was even there at times.
That was until my ears caught on to one thing he said.
"What?" I questioned, my voice came out weak and raspy from not being used in a while.
He looked up from my toes to meet my gaze. His eyes doubled in size in shock of hearing my voice for the first time in a while.
"Hm?" He questioned,
"What did you say? Just now?" I questioned, my fists clenching.
He paused momentarily as if trying to remember what he'd just said, "I said..."
"Our family will be so happy, you'll forget about your old one." He said it in such a matter of fact tone, as if it was just a guarantee.
It was so simple and he probably didn’t even mean it in the way that I took it, but I couldn’t fight the anger that started to brew in me.
"Are you crazy?" I spat out, yanking my feet away from him.
"Baby...don't be like that..." Taeyong said trying to reach out for me.
"Stop calling me that! I am not your baby, and we are not a family!" I screamed.
I couldn't stop myself as my fists raised up and I began pummeling them at him in a fit of rage. Taeyong fell back a little, surprised by my sudden attack.
He acted quickly on his feet and grabbed my wrists in his hands and yanked me up from the couch, "Y/N, stop. You're going to hurt the baby if you don't calm down."
"It's not a baby. It's a fucking monster." I hissed.
His face fell into a look of sadness, "Don't say that. That's our baby you're talking about."
I pulled my wrist back out of his grasp and landed a harsh slap to his cheek.
"I hate you. And I hate this baby because of you. It's going to turn out to be a disgusting monster just like you are." I seethed.
"Y/N....please." Taeyong said gently, trying to get me to calm down.
But I had only just started, and I was ready to let my anger take over.
"How dare you say I'll forget about my family? Are you sick in the head? You must be." I spat.
At this point tears started streaming down Taeyong’s cheeks as he soaked in my words. 
"Y/N, It's okay... I'll fix this, I'll fix everything so that we can be happy, okay? So that you can forgive me." Taeyong said between pathetic sniffles.
It only made me angrier to see him cry, I should be the one crying. He did this, this is his fault.
"No. Nothing is okay here. I could never be happy with someone like you. I could never love someone like you." I stated firmly.
I watched as Taeyong clenched his jaw, the grip he had on my other wrist tightened.The look on his face slowly morphed from sadness to anger.
"So what now, huh? You want to leave me? You want to leave so you can go back to your family, and your fiance? Is that it?" Taeyong asked with a dry chuckle.
I tensed up at the mention of my fiance.
His words were sharp and dripping with venom as they spilled out past his lips.
"Taeyong-
Before letting me finish Taeyong pulled me over to the door, punching in the code on the keypad before swinging it open.
I was hit by a cold gust of wind as the December air touched my skin.
The thin pajama set I had on did nothing to shield me from the cold weather.
"If you want to leave so bad. Go. See how much your family misses you when they see you're pregnant with my kid." Taeyong said with a twisted smirk.
I looked between him and the door. For the first time in a while I could see directly outside, I could see something other than the four walls I'd grown so used to seeing everyday.
Cars zipped past along the street, people walking along the sidewalk completely oblivious to the horrors taking place inside this house.
This is what I'd been wanting so desperately for months now.
The opportunity was being laid out right in front of me, ready for me to reach out and take it.
My heart was begging for me to run. Begging me to run far away from this wretched place and never look back.
I started to take a step past the threshold of the door before I was stopped by an abrupt kick in my stomach. A painful cramp shot up my spine as the monster inside me kicked a second time.
I couldn't go back home.
Not like this.
I couldn't go back to my family, my fiance, pregnant with my kidnappers child.
I couldn't do this to them.
I won't.
I’d already put them through the pain of losing their daughter, I couldn’t be the reason for my family’s embarassment by coming back pregnant. I had nowhere to go, and I knew I was defeated.
"It's all your fault." I said just above a whisper as I fell to the floor, my knees buckling under my weight.
I couldn't fight the ugly sobs that racked through my body as I thought about how horrible of a situation I was in.
Taeyong looked down at me with what I assumed to be pity before closing the front door.
He turned and squatted down to my level.
"I'm all you've got now, your family won't want you in their lives once they know you're pregnant. So be a smart girl and accept that this is your life now. Me and this baby are your only family now. Understand?" Taeyong questioned as he used his hand to wipe away my tears.
"Fuck you." I hissed in response.
Taeyong snickered, his lips curving up into a devilish grin.
"Soon. I don't want to risk hurting the baby."
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negasonicimagines · 3 years
Text
Closer (NSFW)
synopsis: Ellie’s a beta. You’re...not.
notes & warnings: this is a/b/o smut with an alpha!reader, that means you have a retractable dick. don’t like = don’t read. also: genital repulsion is 100% valid, but genitals ≠ gender, and Ellie was using dick/penis/etc in place of the word boys/men/etc which is addressed and corrected! overstimulation kink aplenty! and, for the first time on negasonicteenageimagines, wing kink! implied babypool!reader, which I will probably address in a part 2 one day! I'm sorry I've been gone so long, had a really demanding job that sucked the life out of me and I'm just living on savings while I try to recuperate.
Ellie loves the feeling of your hands on her; running down her sides, nervously feeling her chest or ass through her clothes, but she hates when you grab onto her hips and stop her.
“Y/N…” She sighs, stroking your flushed face. She’s straddling your lap, you’ve been trading kisses and teasing touches for the past little while.
“I just- Just need a sec, to cool down,” you tell her. Like it’s wrong that you want her; that she wants you.
“Why?” Ellie asks, and you look up at her with a bit of a hurt expression. She knows why. You don’t think she can handle you. You haven’t said it, but it’s pretty clear. “W- Wait, I’m sorry. You don’t owe me an explanation. If you don’t want to, then I don’t want to, okay?”
“I mean, I do, you’re so…” Your hands tighten around her hips and she throbs, she wishes she could just melt into the touch. “I do. But…”
“I know,” Ellie sighs again.
“Can I hold you?” you request.
“Let me. You don’t have to be all-alpha, all the time. You should let me take care of you, y’know?”
“Mmkay,” you agree, letting her guide you so that you’re on top of her. You sink into her— not in the way that either of you would prefer —and let her tend to you, petting your hair and humming some old emo song. She strokes your wings next, and you shudder when she gets closer to the downy feathers between them. “E- El, we’re stopping, remember?”
“Right, sorry. Those softer feathers just feel so nice.”
“Thanks…” you mumble sleepily, and she smiles, though you can’t see it. You’ve always been self-conscious about your wings, but Ellie’s seen the beauty in them from the moment she first saw you. She’s seen the beauty in you since then, too.
Being with you is a dream, even if you’re not ready to take the next step. She just wishes she could reassure you; make everything better. It’s what you deserve.
“Dinner soon,” she softly warns, and you whine, closing your eyes tighter. “Babe, seriously, it’s too late for a nap.”
“Then what are you doing being such a good pillow, hm?” you argue.
She stammers before scoffing.
“Mhm, that’s what I thought,” you murmur.
“You’re lucky I like you,” Ellie teases.
“I know,” you hum, nuzzling. She’s probably covered in your scent at this point.
“You know, I get a lot of glares from your fan club when you do that,” Ellie grumbles, but she doesn’t really mind. She’s proud that everyone knows that she’s yours, and the other way around.
“My huh-what-now?”
“You know, that little group of omegas that…” Ellie trails off. She’s not sure whether she’s annoyed or grateful that you haven’t noticed. “They just really like you, that’s all.”
You’re not sure what it is. Betas have scents so light that emotion isn’t detectable, but maybe you can subconsciously smell the variation. Maybe it’s her tone, the way it slips from genuine nonchalance to something… Tense.
Whatever you’ve picked up on, it snaps you to attention. You sit up.
“What’s wrong?”
Ellie blinks at you. Out of respect to her, you do your best to suppress your overprotective tendencies. Clearly, you’re not making an exception for her this time. Your wings are all puffed up.
“Eleanor.” You only say her full first name when you’re serious. Usually it’s anger. “What’s wrong? Did they say something to you? Did they do something?”
“I- They just think you deserve a proper mate, or whatever. It’s not like you disagree, there’s a reason we haven’t done that.”
“Yeah, there is, but it isn’t something as superficial as that. You’re joking, right?”
“What? No, they really-“
“Fuck them, I don’t care what they think. I care what you think. Do you really think I’ve been holding back because you’re not an omega?”
“Well… Yeah.”
“Wow, um… Wow. Thanks for that, El. Didn’t know you thought that little of me, but… Cool.”
“Then what is it? Because I can’t think of any other reason!” Ellie snaps.
“Are you fucking serious?! Are you that fucking idiotic?!” You snap harder, you get up from the bed, and Ellie blinks in shock again.
“What?!”
“Ellie, you have said about a million times that you don’t like dick.”
Ellie’s furious expression immediately drops into one of regret, thinking of all the times she’s expressed utter repulsion towards your genitalia without even thinking.
“Yeah, I am that fucking idiotic,” she realizes. ”Oh, fuck, I really should’ve adjusted my language. I don’t like men! Fake dicks and ones otherwise attached to girls are fine,” Ellie explains. “Oh, jeez, Y/N, I’m so sorry. Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. Hugs okay?”
You nod tearfully, she gets up, and she wraps her arms around your waist. You hug her neck, pressing her into your chest while your wings also wrap around her.
“I’m really sorry,” Ellie apologizes a third time. “I can’t believe I was such a freaking jerk. Those omegas are right, I really don’t deserve you.”
“El, it’s okay. We’re all learning. I should’ve told you what you were saying was bothering me.”
“But, I mean, what I was saying wasn’t just insensitive to alpha women, it was transphobic. I mean, it’d be one thing if I was genuinely repulsed, but... I’m definitely not. I was so thoughtless,” she insists.
“Like I said, we’re all learning. You acknowledged what you were saying was wrong, and how, and now you're growing from it. That’s all anyone can expect,” you reassure her.
“I love you,” she says.
“I love you too,” you reply, holding her tighter. “I’m really sorry for getting mad at you. I should’ve known you’d feel self-conscious, and that other people would see a problem with us. I just… I guess I’m so happy to finally be with you, that… I don’t know. I forget that everything else still sucks.”
“Babe…” Ellie coos, looking up at you. You look into her eyes, and your frown is turned upside down. She grins back. “You’re so beautiful.”
Instead of embracing her, you now cup her cheeks with your hands, pulling her in for a kiss that gets deeper and deeper until Ellie’s under you with one of your thighs between her legs.
You two have never gone as far as to stimulate those areas, but it’s about time. You continue to devour each other, you fondle her chest before literally starting to tear her shirt off, not wanting to part from the kiss but wanting her to be wearing way less clothing.
She gives a surprised gasp, lips leaving yours.
You whine.
“You were literally ripping my shirt off.”
“It’s a plain black one. You have, like, five,” you grumble, bitter that you’re having to take a pause. She looks at you with frustration, but notices just how clenched your jaw is, the way your hands shake.
You’re starving for her. For anything, probably, hardwired to spend at least a week straight every month fucking. How long have you two been together now? Loyalty may be the bare minimum, but she feels the need to reward you for it somehow. You had plenty of opportunity to fulfill your needs elsewhere.
Ellie takes her shirt off, chuckling to herself at the realization that it’s now a v-neck instead of the ring-neck it was. She unbuttons your shirt, helping your slip your wings out of the window in the back.
Your eyes rake over her body, but you don’t touch, not without permission. Ellie’s always loved observing you, photography has made her a bit of a voyeur. Watching someone as beautiful as you hold back such primal urges is downright delicious.
She can’t help but resume kissing you, lips and teeth and tongue mashing together. It’s animalistic.
“Can I please touch-“ Ellie’s cut off with a moan, the seam of her skinny jeans and the pressure of your thigh hitting just right. “Mm, wings?”
You hesitate.
“I’ll be gentle,” Ellie pleads.
“Okay,” you consent, resuming your kissing.
You’ll never forget the first time she touched your wings like this.
You two hadn’t just started dating, but you hadn’t been together for long. You were snuggling on the couch watching some movie or show on Netflix.
At first, she was just stroking your back, right above where you’re most sensitive, if it wouldn’t mat your feathers, you’d cover it up completely.
You’d tensed up a little at how close she was to the soft, more tender feathers, but she hadn’t noticed. She danced her fingertips further down and continued to stroke.
You choked on air, scrambling away from her quickly and blushing like crazy.
“What?” Ellie asked incredulously.
“I- Um- How do I put this?” You were still panting. “It’s gradual, like, um, for the most part it’s not very sensitive, but when you get closer to, um, the center of my wings, um…”
“Oh, fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it hurt,” Ellie apologized, and though her tone didn’t betray it, you could see in her eyes that she felt awful.
You quickly shook your head.
“Wait, then… Oh. Oh!” Now she was blushing. “Sorry.”
This time, she’s skipped over the less sensitive parts again, not even building up to where she’s touching now, right in the center. You moan into her neck, clinging to her as she toys with the raven feathers between your shoulder blades.
She chuckles, and you growl.
“That’s cute,” Ellie murmurs, and you start to rut against her thigh again, feeling your member start to harden, and therefore extend from your body. “Big bad alpha, but I bet if I asked you’d let me put a collar on you, wouldn’t you?”
“Holy fuck, yes,” you moan. No girl has ever made you feel this way before. Of course, you’ve had sex before, but... It’s always been about the other person. Knot me, choke me, tie me up, Alpha, please, you remember the whines of past partners, whether they were omegas or simply curious alphas, and you appreciate Ellie’s independence, her borderline dominance. Maybe this time will be a little more vanilla, but the thought of...
“Kiss me again.”
You obey, and this continues for a bit longer, her mumbling sweet, disgusting nothings while you get bigger and harder and closer.
“El, I- I’m so-“
“Huge?” Ellie attempts to fill in the blank, intimidated by your size. It’s bigger than her strap by a long shot.
You just whine.
“Can I- Can I see?” she requests. Your cock is straining against your bottoms, so you’re happy to take them off as she removes her own. She urges you to prop yourself against some pillows and allow her to be on top. Her already doe-like eyes are even wider. “I- Uh- May I?” She has a hand outstretched.
You stutter before settling on nodding. Her hand carefully wraps around you, she slides her fist up and down so slowly. You give a trembling sigh.
“This okay?” you ask, still nervous.
“Mhm,” Ellie quickly responds, cheeks turning redder. She runs her thumb over the head— well, more like a face, since it’s your clitoris and some of the skin that surrounds it —and you squeal. “Alright, I think I kind of get it,” she mumbles.
“You think?” you choke out as she continues to stimulate the bundle of nerves; she bites her lip to hold back a smirk. You’re careful not to buck your hips, wanting her to go at her own pace. You instead roll your shoulders, wings feeling cramped with the way you’re sitting.
She notices.
“Here.” Ellie takes a pillow from beside you and has you lean forward. When you recline again, it’s thick enough to keep you off the headboard and it’s right between your wings, so every time you move…
“C-Clever,” you stammer, and she reaches out to stroke your cheek. You don’t know why, but you flinch.
“Shh… It’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you, babe.”
You nod. You know.
“You alright?” she asks.
You nod again.
“Can you use your words?”
“Yeah, I’m okay,” you reassure her, letting go of a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.
“Do you wanna keep going?” She’s so beautiful; so perfect. She likes to pretend she doesn’t care, about anything, but she lets you have the truth. She does, often too much. And she loves you.
“Please.”
Your enthusiasm hasn’t waned even a bit, Ellie notices, and she starts to stimulate you with both hands now, thumb sweeping over your clit while she strokes up and down your cock.
Your knot starts to swell, just a little.
“Hng, El, wait,” you tell her, and she tears her hands away immediately, looking concerned again. “Nothing bad, I just… Can I please finish you off at least once, before I do?”
“Oh, uh, sure.”
“Really?” She sounded… Hesitant.
“Yeah,” she says with a relieved smile. “You just surprised me, that’s all.”
You’re trying not to give into your instincts, to not throw her down onto the bed and just take, but it must be obvious with the way you hesitate to even touch her as you try to readjust your positions.
“Babe, you know I want this, right? You don’t have to be careful.”
You look down at your dick, and then skeptically at her. She follows your gaze.
“You’re as small as an omega but with none of the evolutionary traits to keep me from breaking you.”
Ellie’s cheeks flush. You always know when she wants to tell you something— or if she has some sort of request —but she’s too embarrassed or nervous, her lips curl inwards, pressed into a thin line. Her eyebrows pop up, just a little, and the puppy eyes just barely start to form, though they avoid yours.
You look to her expectantly.
“What if I want to be broken?”
“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” you argue, and it’s shaky. You want her, you want to do this for her, you want to give her everything.
“I’m asking for you. All of you,” she insists. “Please.”
You nod, before taking her face in your hands once more and pressing your lips to hers. The gentle kissing devolves into practically devouring her lips with yours.
You mouth at her neck, at all of her, nibbling and licking and sucking until you reach what you’ve been aching for and tug her boxers off, burying your face in her and finally getting to eat.
“H-holy fucking…” Ellie’s grateful that you’re too focused on the task at hand to look up at her.
You slide one finger in, then another, curling as you use the tip of your tongue to stimulate her clit. You continue to prep her, she realizes with a smile, as she gets closer and closer.
“Could I…?” Her fingers tangle in your hair, but she doesn’t dare to pull. You growl. She’ll take that as a no.
She doesn’t tighten her grip, instead moving her hands to the sheets, but she still rocks against your mouth, begging for more, for release. This certainly isn’t what she’s used to.
“I- Ah- Y/N, fuck, don’t stop, please,” she pants, Eventually, despite her impatience, her moans turn into nonsense until she’s finally over the edge. You work her through it, or, at least, that’s what she assumes you’re doing, until she’s clearly overstimulated and you don’t stop.
She did just ask for all of you, including the sex drive, the insatiable urge to please your partner, and everything else that comes with being an alpha.
The feeling just keeps building and she continues to twitch under you, whimpering and clutching the sheets until a gasp is torn from her lungs and she’s finished once more.
You don’t stop.
The third one comes out of nowhere, she doesn’t feel close at all until suddenly it’s there and she’s crashing over like a waterfall, drowning in pleasure.
“I- That’s- That’s enough, please,” Ellie insists. You lick a slow, wide stripe from her entrance to her clit before sitting up. “Could I, um… Return the favor?”
“You want to?” Your head tilts in confusion. You’re still self-conscious, she realizes.
“I do.” She gets out of the way so that you can lay back down, pillow between your wings and cock still hard and exposed between your spread legs. She tentatively starts to give you a handy again, still unsure of where to start. “I, uh… I don’t think I can fit all that. Is that okay?”
“Of course. You really don’t have to do it at all, I don’t mind.”
“I want to,” she insists, before starting to suckle on the tip, smoothing her tongue over your clit again and again. You sink your teeth into your bottom lip, hard, toes curling. She slowly inches down before gagging and pulling off with a rather cliche pop.
She looks gorgeous with tears in her eyes. She tries again, now knowing her limits but still pushing them every now and then. She uses her hands to make up for what she can’t fit in her mouth, rather skillfully.
“Wait, I- Hng, Ellie, stop,” you moan.
She pulls off, looking worried.
“I- I don’t wanna finish until I’m inside you,” you quietly explain, now you’re avoiding her eyes. She smiles softly, before opening the drawer on her bedside table and grabbing a box of alpha condoms.
“Will these work?”
You nod.
“And would you like to fuck me now?”
“Don’t say it like that!” you protest, before clamping a hand over your mouth, surprised at how bratty you sound.
“Rather whiny for an alpha,” she taunts. “How would you like for me to say it, then?”
Her eyebrow arches and you swear you could finish if she just kept looking at you like that, with that challenge in her eyes that no one else would dare to look at you with. You start leaking precum, and she bites back a smirk once again, waiting for your answer.
“I- Uh… I don’t know. Just, not so vulgar. You’re- You’re special. This is special. Not just…”
It clicks. You’re not sure how it does for her, but it almost always does. She’s intuitive, at least, when it comes to you. Her expression softens. This time, at least, she knows when to stop.
“I get it. Please, I’m ready for you to- I mean, I’ve practiced with my strap, but other than that, no one’s ever- No one's ever done that for me. I want you to.”
You rearrange yourselves once more, letting her rest on the bed and putting a spare pillow under her hips.
You kiss her lips like you’re starting all over, slowly kissing every inch of her. She’s delicious, soft and smooth and tender. You want to sink your teeth in.
You don’t, instead opting to rise up and sink a couple fingers into her, adding a third once you think she can take it.
Ellie tightens around your curling fingers, desperate for more. She rocks downwards, she wants to be filled.
“Okay, love, I get it,” you reassure her in a near whisper.
You take one of the alpha condoms and roll it on before carefully lining up with her entrance.
“Ha, don’t tease,” she whines. This is a little closer to what you’re used to. You slide right in, well, as much of you as you can actually fit, which is just over half your length. You’re not quite sure if you’ve bottomed out or if she’s not relaxed enough.
“Is it okay to move?” you wonder.
“Please,” she says, and so you do, starting with a slow, gentle pace before taking it up a notch. You’re fucking her wide open, but you’re still being careful as she turns into a mess of moans under you.
Eventually, though, you just can’t help yourself. You’re practically drilling into her, and now you know you’ve bottomed out because she’s taking all of you, flawlessly.
“Oh, fuck, I-“ Ellie continues to pant, calves propped on your shoulders. “You’re so- I- Y/N, fuck- You- I-“
“Sh-sh-sh, it’s okay. I know. I know.” You can barely string together words yourself, you two fit like you’re made for each other, she squeezes around you so perfectly while you abuse that spot deep inside of her that makes her eyes roll back and her flushed, swollen lips fall wide open. “You’re so perfect.”
“You, too, I- I love you,” she manages, and it’s the best thing she could’ve said. It always is. You kiss her forehead and her knees are now hooked over your shoulders, bringing you even closer. You keep taking her, eventually it’s just too much and she reaches between the two of you, stroking her clit so she can come undone again.
And when she does, her walls flutter around you, getting you right back on the edge. She reaches behind you, running her fingertips over that sensitive spot between your wings so teasingly, so fleetingly, and yet it finishes you; whimpering and moaning and groaning into the pillow, right next to her head.
You knot her without even thinking as you unravel together, and the two of you soak in your euphoria for a few moments before speaking.
“Thank you,” you quietly say.
“I think I should be thanking you,” she scoffs. “What do you have to thank me for?”
“For letting me have you like this. For trusting me. For loving me and understanding me. Everything, I have everything to thank you for,” you explain.
“You’re gonna make me cry,” Ellie grumbles. But she holds your hands in hers like she did almost the entire time you were fucking her into the mattress. “I… I wanna be on top.”
“Um… With proper prep that could definitely work, but we’re a bit stuck at the moment,” you explain.
“Good to know, but... I meant that I want to ride you,” Ellie reiterates.
“Oh. Uh, sure.” You two carefully readjust yourselves.
“I’ve always wondered what it felt like to be knotted,” she admits.
“Is it alright? I- I didn’t consciously do it, I’m sorry for not asking.”
“It’s not a big deal, you’re wearing an alpha condom, plus I’m on birth control so…” She looks at you for a few beats of silence before smiling. “It feels great. It’s… It’s nice, being connected like this.”
It’s a bit awkward, all of it, but it’s... New. Different. Perfect. It’s her.
Ellie rocks back and forth a little, figuring out what works best for her and confirming that it’s comfortable for you before continuing.
Lower, drawn-out moans drip from her lips like syrup as she unintentionally edges you, working up to that perfect peak over and over before switching up the pace or pressure or angle and sending you right back to the start.
You grab Ellie’s hips and snarl. She did say she wanted to be broken, maybe she’s trying to urge you to do so.
She pauses, now fully noticing your flushed cheeks, your heaving chest, the need in your eyes. She nods.
You fuck up into her like she’s just your human fleshlight, hands grasping her hips bruisingly.
“So tight,” you groan through gritted teeth, thrusting up into her faster and harder until her needy whimpers, the way she moans your name, and the new, unique sensation of being inside a beta destroys and remakes you once again.
She’s shuddering too, you realize.
“Are you alright?”
She nods, looking spooked, and winded, of course.
“Are you sure?” you confirm.
She nods again.
“Just… I, um… I finished. Without touching my, um… My clit. Never had that happen before,” she reassures you, also stroking your ego.
“Glad to be of service,” you say with a smile, but your stomach growls. “I say I go get dinner after the knot deflates, ‘kay?”
“What about me?” Ellie wonders.
“I’m not just gonna let you walk after that, even if you could,” you argue. “I’ll bring it back here, to the d- To the ne- Here.”
“It can be our den. Our nest. Is that what you want?” Ellie offers. You nod, looking fretful.
“Just- Just right now, okay? I promise.”
“Babe, you know I want to be with you, right? I don’t just tolerate your instincts, they’re a part of you, I love them as much as I do the rest of you,” she insists, readjusting herself so that she’s laying on top of you instead of straddling you, knot still locked in.
“But you-“ She always teases you about them. Not just every now and then, every time you slip up like that until now, she’s made some remark.
“But what?” Ellie reaches up, stroking your cheek again. You don’t flinch this time, too blissed out.
“I just- Most jokes have a hint of truth to them… So when it feels like you constantly tease me for being an alpha, especially the inconvenience of it…”
“Oh, jeez, I’m- I’m sorry, I... I really am a fucking idiot.”
“You’re not. I shouldn’t have said that,” you disagree.
“I shouldn’t have been making you feel so bad about yourself,” she insists, giving you a kiss, and then another. You deepen it, your nails digging into her back. “Fuck, babe…”
“Thank you…” you drawl, giggling with pride shortly after. You sigh. “I think, uh, I think we can probably part ways now. If you want.”
“Not yet,” Ellie quickly says, pleasantly surprising you. You hold her tighter. “Hey, uh… So… I- Could we- I mean, you- I- We’ve been together a while, and I was just wondering, is it customary for… Ugh, never mind.”
“Sweetness?” you question, concerned.
There’s a decent bit of silence. You can’t see her face, but you can guess the expression: pressed lips, slightly raised eyebrows, the works.
“Would you ever… Want to bite me?”
“I just did, like, a lot,” you say.
“No, I mean-! I mean, like bite me,” she clarifies.
“Oh. Well, I mean, I guess. It wouldn’t have much use, ‘cause the only benefits are scent-related, and I already crave your scent when I’m stressed, and you don’t know what I smell like. We would just be… Clingier to each other than we already are,” you explain.
Her face falls.
“Well, I wouldn’t mind you being a little needier… And it sure would piss off those stupid omegas you were telling me about. Obviously, I want to claim you, you’re mine, but… I just want you to be aware of what it means, how it’ll affect you,” you add to what she probably received as rejection of the idea. “Do you still want this?”
“I do,” Ellie consents. You cradle the back of her head in one hand, tilting it to the side to better access her neck—and therefore her scent gland. You gently kiss the skin first, building up to the bite like you’re trying to create another hickey.
Eventually, though, you sink your teeth in. Ellie tenses up, clinging to you and giving a soft whine of pain before relaxing and just letting it happen. You lick up the blood just a little before realizing you’re just going to have to give up and let it bleed for a bit. You can tend to it later.
“Thank you,” she says, so quietly. “For everything.”
“You’re gonna make me cry,” you echo what she said earlier. You slip her off of you, letting your arousal fade and carefully tucking your member back in after tying off the condom and throwing it away.
“You know, I hadn’t really thought about what that might look like,” Ellie confesses, looking bewildered. You just laugh, and while she blushes, she laughs with you.
“You’re so beautiful,” you tell her. You truly feel like you have to touch her to prove that she’s real. She’s so perfect, you’re so perfect together.
The need for dinner feels a lot more…primal. Like an instinct to care for your mate, especially now that you can feel her hunger simmering in the edges of your mind. You don’t want to leave her, but you also desperately need to take care of her.
She can tell that you’re torn.
“What is it?”
“Food. I-“ You sigh, frustrated. “I wanna stay with you, but I need to get you some food.”
Her expression was already softened, at least compared to the expressions she makes outside of this room you share… This den, you think with glee. But, now it’s even gentler.
“Well, I am pretty hungry… So, why don’t you get us some food, and then we can eat it in here. I think they had pizza for dinner, just get me a couple slices of-“
“The vegan thin crust, I know,” you cut her off. You now have a mission. You give her a long smooch on the forehead before getting up and getting dressed, reapplying your deodorant and some perfume or cologne, if you desire. “Love you.”
“You too,” Ellie calls as you close the door, making your way to the kitchen.
The pizza’s been put up for a while, so you decide you’ll reheat it in the oven, instead of the microwave. You get two pans out, if your pizza choice isn’t vegan, and you go ahead and spray them with cooking spray while you wait for the oven to preheat. You carefully place the slices on each baking sheet.
You don’t want to leave the oven unattended, so you instead reflect on everything that just happened, pride bubbling up in your chest.
You love her so much it hurts.
The oven heats up quickly, so you set the pans inside and put a timer on your phone so can go check on Ellie. You make your way to the stairs, but when you get to the foyer, you realize Ellie’s there, along with a red-suited man.
You resist the urge to approach, knowing it’ll only embarrass and irritate her if you go all cuckoo alpha mode on her in front of someone. She gets a little closer to him, and he hands her a present that’s wrapped… Exquisitely, at least in comparison to your present-wrapping skills.
But his entire posture changes the second he sees you observing.
You decide then to waltz on over, curious about the strange character.
“Who’s this, babe?” you wonder, wrapping an arm around her.
“Oh, this is Deadpool. Just bringing by a horrifically late Hanukkah present.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Deadpool.”
“We’ve met before,” he says softly.
“We have? Shit, sorry, I’m better with faces than names, and yours is covered up, so…”
“It was a long time ago,” he nearly mumbles.
“Okay,” you chirp, not sure how else to respond. “You hungry? I’m reheating some leftover pizza. In case you couldn’t tell, we kind of missed dinner.”
“Y/N!” Ellie protests, turning completely red.
“You know he can smell it on you, right?” you chuckle, before whispering to her: “And I bet you’re walking funny.”
Ellie stammers. Apparently, she didn’t know.
“You two make an adorable couple,” he says, but he sounds sad. Maybe he’s missing his own lover, his scent radiates loss. “I, uh… I don’t think you’d be offering me pizza if you realized who I was.”
“Oh, please, murder isn’t a big deal, even if Ellie and the other hall monitors have a problem with it.”
“You’re gonna have to take Remedial Ethics again if anybody hears you say that,” Ellie chides you.
“They can’t make me, I’ve already graduated. Besides, taking that class so many times gave me a shit ton of extra credits and a sexy little 4.2 GPA,” you snicker. “Yo, DP, if they ever try and get you to take it, just pick the answers that seem like the least amount of fun. Easy peasy.”
“Wow,” Deadpool scoffs, before turning somber once more. “It was nice meeting you again, Y/N.”
“You, too,” you reply, and he’s on his not-so-merry way. “What’s up with him? Isn’t he supposed to be all goofy and vulgar?”
“I don’t know, he’s a pretty moody guy.”
“Huh.” The alarm on your phone goes off, and you help Ellie hobble along to the kitchen.
After letting it cool, you two decide to eat right there, rinsing off the pans before putting them in the empty dishwasher.
Despite her protests, you carry her up the stairs, plopping her in bed before ditching your pants and joining her. She loses her own.
“Round two?” you tease.
“My vagina hurts,” she grumbles.
“Really? I’m sorry, I tried to be careful.“
“No, not like that, you were good. Too good, gave me the pounding of my life,” she reiterates.
“Oh… Thanks.”
“Don’t pretend you’re surprised, those omegas don’t just like you for your wit. You have a reputation.”
“So, they do like me for my wit,” you remark.
“Shut up,” she scoffs at the double entendres. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. You were perfect. I mean, even if you weren’t, you would be, but… That was amazing.”
“You’re too much,” Ellie mumbles, blushing. You kiss her, but she’s the one to intensify it. “...Okay, maybe round two.”
“You gotta teach me how to do that.”
“Do what?” Ellie asks, and she does it again.
“That!” you emphasize.
“What?!”
“Raise one eyebrow!”
“Oh. I don’t do it consciously,” she says. Of course she doesn’t. She’s just perfect.
“Fuck you,” you tell her instead.
“Fuck you.” But she laughs.
“Like, now?” you retort.
“Shut up.” She snuggles you closer. “Can I hold you, now?”
“I guess…” you pretend to complain, and you quickly find your face buried in Ellie’s chest, one arm curled between your bodies and the other around her.
“Ah, my best friends,” you joke, nuzzling.
“You fucking bastard,” she chuckles.
“Just because it’s true, doesn’t mean you should say it,” you sing-song. But the word doesn’t sting when she says it. It’s a term of endearment, now.
“We should probably go to sleep,” Ellie says, upon glancing at her phone.
“Probably,” you admit. “I love you so much.”
“You’re so fucking gay,” she huffs, grinning.
“Really? What clued you in? Is it the way I dress? Or maybe it’s the way I fucked you into the mattress an hour ago…” You play at pensivity, and Ellie, Ellie giggles, rolling her eyes.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
97 notes · View notes
1987vampire · 4 years
Text
All Yours | Tomura Shigaraki
Fandom: My Hero Academia | Boku No Hero Academia Word Count: 5k Warnings: Smut. Kinks include: A/B/O (Omega!Shigaraki x Alpha!Reader), FemDom, Mommy Kink, Bratty Shigaraki (in the beginning), light bondage, face riding, spit kink, cockrings, praise kink, light degrading kink, choking, pegging, crying kink, overstimulation, etc. Request: I just really wanted to write a Shigaraki fic. A/N: This is just me being horny on main. I love this lil dude, and there are not enough Sub!Shigaraki fics around here.  Extra: @babayaga67​ and @imuziawi​ asked me to tag!
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I almost hadn’t recognized the smell as I turned onto my street. At first, I wasn’t quite sure where it was coming from, and I thought I might have just been delusional. After all, he had disappeared for quite a bit, but he had a distinct smell, a mix of citrus – the scent of his body wash -, smoky ash – a side effect of his quirk -, and vanilla cake - a sweetness that came with every omega in heat. I was surprised that there weren’t alphas lined around the block with how loud the smell was, but I was certainly glad I wouldn’t have to fight anybody off to get home.  
I fumbled with my keys for a few moments once I reached the door, mixing up and trying to unlock it with the wrong key multiple times. Once I finally opened the door, though, I was hit harder than I had anticipated, his pheromones coating every inch of my apartment. Hell, I thought walking here was terrible, but this was on an entirely different level.
Had he stopped taking his blockers? Being a villain and omega at the same time was certainly not a great mix, especially when he was the leader of a significant group, so he had taken to blocking off any indicators of his status, claiming to be a beta whenever someone asked. Something must have changed if it got this bad.
I closed the door and locked it in a fluid motion, dropping my keys and bag on the floor right after. I shuffled through the house, trying to figure out where he had holed himself up. I assumed he had made a nest somewhere, but I wasn’t sure where. He never kept it in the same spot, claiming it got uncomfortable being in one place for too long, and he always chose the strangest places. Once I had found him and half of my closet in one of the lower cabinets in the kitchen because ‘everywhere else was too goddamn loud.’
I looked through each room thoroughly, and after a few minutes of not finding him, I entered my bedroom. I was surprised at how much louder the smell had gotten. It wasn’t normal for him to choose such a basic place. My bed was missing half of its usual blankets and pillows. My clothes were strewn across the floor, ones he had ditched after not liking them enough, I guessed. I checked around the dirty area for a moment before approaching my closet.
I knocked quietly on the door, listening intently. A quiet groan met my ears, and I dropped to my knees in front of the door. He was in there. There was no doubt about it. “Tomura,” I called out quietly, not wanting to hurt him if he had a headache. He usually did during this time. “Tomura, may I come in?”
There was the sound of him shuffling and pushing a few things around before he made a noise of affirmation and pushed the door open a bit. I opened it the rest of the way and let out a sigh at the sight of him. He looked worse than usual, new scabs over the already scarred skin of his neck. Something had been stressing him out immensely.
Still, he looked pretty, his eyes half-lidded from being tired but still bright as ever, and his ordinarily messy hair even worse than usual. He wasn’t wearing much besides a pair of sweatpants, his chest bare and sweaty, new scratch marks crawling down from his neck. He was panting, practically drooling, but his lips still quirked up into the smallest of smiles when he locked eyes with me.
I hesitantly placed a hand inside his nest, afraid he would kick me out at the movement, but he stayed still, almost coaxing me into his area. So, I continued, crawling in slowly, trying not to mess up any of his work. He had to have been here for a while by how it looked. I wasn’t sure when he had gotten here, but I had been at work for ten hours before coming home, so there was no telling.
Tomura curled up to me almost instantly, letting out a low whine as he pushed his face into my chest. His arms wrapped around my hips, pulling me closer. I instinctively wrapped mine around his head, leaning down to press a kiss to his matted hair. I had almost gotten comfortable, ready to just sleep it off with him – after all, that’s what he seemed to want to do – but the thought was interrupted by him opening his mouth, pressing his rough flattened tongue between my breasts, and licking a fat stripe up to my neck.
The change in my mood was instantaneous, and I switched our position from both of us laying sideways to me kneeled above his chest. He moved to try and pull me down onto him, but I grabbed his hands and held them above his head, grinning as he let out a loud whine, his eyes growing wider as he stared up at me.
“You do know that it’s rude to do that without asking, right,” I mused. His face flushed red, and he turned it to the side, avoiding eye contact. Oh god, when was the last time he had acted like this. I was getting excited at just the thought. “Now, why would you do that without permission. Did you miss me that much?” When he didn’t move to answer, I chuckled and grabbed his face with one of my hands, pulling it to look at me. “Come on, babydoll. I need your words. Talk to me.”
He huffed loudly but complied. “You weren’t doing anything, so I had to.”
I tutted and shook my head. “You can’t just get things without asking. You have to tell me what you want. Staying silent gets you nowhere. You know that; we’ve talked about it, baby.” He stared up at me, biting back words. I sighed. “Well, if you don’t want to talk, then I’ll just let you take care of yourself.” I let go of him and began to lift myself off of him, but he moved faster and gripped my thighs, pulling me back onto him harshly. For someone as skinny as he was, he could sure be strong at moments. His nails dug into my skin harshly, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re needy today, aren’t you.” I quirked an eyebrow and leaned down so we were face to face. “Come on, Tomura, tell me what you want.”
He took a shaky breath before replying. “I want you to make me cum,” he grumbled, blinking up at me. “I hate being like this, but nothing I do helps it.”
I shook my head. “And what have you done to deserve me giving you that pleasure? You’ve disappeared for the past two months – I only knew you were alive because they talk about you on the news – but because you hit your heat, suddenly you’re running back with your tail between your legs. Hell, I should leave you to take care of yourself - you obviously don’t need me.”
“I didn’t come back just to listen to you bitch.” His words were bitter, and I could tell he regretted them as soon as they slipped past his lips, but the damage was already done. His eyes widened, and he scrambled to try and escape from underneath me. I let him climb to his feet before pushing his knees out from under him as he tried to run out of the room. He stumbled and fell face-first onto the floor, groaning loudly.
“Are you serious,” I yelled, standing over him. He flipped onto his back, and I pushed my foot onto his chest, holding him steady. “Are you seriously trying to piss me off, you asshole?”
He grinned up at me. “And what if I am? What are you going to do about it?”
I pulled off of him, practically shaking from anger. “Get up.”
“Or what?”
I let out a deep snarl. “Tomura, get your ass off of the fucking floor before I turn it beet red.”
He licked his teeth suggestively and stood slowly, taking as much time as he could. Once he was up, a grabbed his shoulders roughly and pushed him onto the bed. He let out a loud laugh as he fell back, propping himself up on his elbows and watching me as I rolled my eyes. I moved towards my dresser, opening it and moving aside clothes covering what I needed. Ropes were the easiest thing to find considering how many I had, but the other toys took a bit of digging.
Once I was satisfied with my finds, I moved back to the bed and straddled him, grabbing the rough skin of his wrists and pulling them up to the headboard. There was a small hook drilled right above it precisely for this. I wrapped the rope around his hands, knowing the knots like the back of my hand from how often I had done it.
When our relationship first started, Tomura wasn’t too keen on bondage or not being in control, but once I had convinced him to try it, he had never wanted anything else. I knew he found some comfort mixed with the anxiety of being completely at my mercy, and I certainly enjoyed it. I could sit and stare at him in this position for hours, hands bound above him, eyes looking at me with apprehension but excitement, pants already straining even though I hadn’t done anything. It was a beautiful sight.
He tugged gently on the restraints, testing them, and he let out a shuddering sigh once they didn’t budge, settling into the bed. I picked myself off of him and stood to the side, humming lowly as I tried to figure out where to start. Then, he spoke up. “Well, are you going to do anything?”
“Not if you keep up that attitude, I won’t,” I snapped back. “You sure do love using your mouth tonight, might as well put it to use.”
He furrowed his brows in confusion only to perk up as I began to shed my shirt, popping button after button of my blouse until I was able to throw it onto the floor, adding to the mess he had already created. Then came my shoes, which I kicked off to the side, followed by my pants, leaving me in only underwear. Then, I climbed onto the bed again and grabbed his face harshly, squeezing his cheeks so his lips were puckered. His eyes widened with excitement, and it made me chuckle a bit.
“You’re certainly eager tonight, even with that mouth of yours,” I said, placing a kiss to his lips, “miss mommy that much?” A high-pitched chirp passed his lips, and I grinned. “Now, are you going to work for your reward, or are you going to make this hard?” When he stayed silent, I continued, my voice low as I moved to kiss the rough skin of his throat. “Are you gonna let mommy ride your face?”
Tomura nodded, and it was much more excited than I’m sure he intended it to be. I moved and placed my knees on either side of his head, and I had barely had enough time to run my fingers through his hair before he lunged forward, licking a stripe up my clothed pussy. I let out a shuddering sigh of content followed by a low, deep moan when he did it again. When was the last time he had helped me get off instead of my own hands and toys? He was so warm underneath me, his cheeks flushed and breathing heavy enough to send heat up to me.
Before he could move forward again, I grabbed fistfuls of his hair and pushed him down into the bed. He whined, but I ignored it. “Give me a second, baby. Just one second.”
He stayed still, and I let go of him. I then reached down and pushed my panties to the side, giving him new skin to touch. He loved it when I still wore underwear when we fucked, saying it ‘just added something to it.’ I certainly didn’t mind the extra coverage, even if it wasn’t anything sexy considering I had been at work.
Once I was comfortable, I grabbed his hair again, softer this time, and lowered myself onto his mouth. He stayed still, knowing not to move, and when I mumbled to go, he wasted no time in getting to work. His tongue found my clit almost immediately, circling it at an excruciating pace that made me groan quietly. I should have known he would try something like this, I thought as he moved down, pressing a flat tongue against my opening before dipping into it slowly. The wet sounds that came from the action made things so much better, but I could already feel myself getting fed up. I didn’t want to wait, I wanted him to work, so I vocalized it. “Tomura, baby, if you don’t go faster, you’re not cumming tonight.”
He chirped in distress and pushed farther up, lapping at me like he was a starving man and I was the only meal in sight, and when he began to get tired, I ground against his face, making him moan onto me, a deep groan that sent sparks through my stomach.  When we had first started, he was completely inexperienced, only knowing the basics from the porn he watched, but porn was nothing like real life, and I was there to teach him that. Luckily for me, Tomura was always up for eating me out whenever given the opportunity, he loved to serve me as much as he loved to take, and he showed his devotion like this. He took his time, but moved quickly, pressing all the right spots. He had my body memorized at this point, and when I came, he didn’t let up until I pulled away, making sure I reached the utmost pleasure.
When I finally did pull away, the sight was something worthwhile. He laid gasping up at me, his face thoroughly flushed a pale red that crawled down his chest. His lips, chin, and nose were covered in a thin layer of my fluids mixed with his spit. His eyes pled for me to praise him, tell him that he was doing good, and I was happy to oblige.
“You look so pretty like this, doll,” I said, pressing a kiss to his cheek as I traced my hand along his bulge. “Are you all worked up just for me?” Tomura nodded hastily, letting out a sigh of content as I rubbed him softly. “You’re mommy’s little boy, aren’t you, Tomu?” He nodded again and kissed back feverishly when I pressed my lips to his. “Say it, then. Say it for me, baby.”
“I’m your little boy, mommy,” he cried out, letting out a high-pitched moan as I drew him out of his pants, my fingers dancing along the head of his dick. “I’m all yours, I promise.”
I laughed. “All mine? Really?”
He nodded, his breath hitching as I moved down and took him into my mouth. “All yours- ah- ahh-“ He pulled at his restraints and let out a chirp as I pressed forward until my nose touched his hipbone. He bucked up to match my movement, but I grabbed his hips and pushed him down.
I pulled off of him with a pop. “Stay still,” I growled and moved back down. He let out a full-body shudder, and when I looked up at him, his eyes were rolled back, lips parted in a silent moan, and his arms pulling against his ropes to no avail.
“Please, I just-“ he bucked his hips again, and I growled lowly with his cock still in my mouth, making him cry out in ecstasy only to whine when I let go of him.
“I told you to stay still,” I grumbled as I reached for one of the toys I had brought out. He stiffened at the sound of something vibrating and watched me as I slid a pretty, pink cockring down to the base of his cock. He tensed and then let out the prettiest sound, throwing his head back at the stimulation.
I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me. He panted, his tongue lolling out of his mouth as he stared up at me. I pressed my thumb against his jaw and opened his mouth a bit more. He blinked blearily, confused, and then let out a surprised chirp when I spit directly into his mouth.
“Swallow it.” He complied, making a show of closing his mouth and swallowing loudly. He looked away out of embarrassment, making me chuckle. “You said you were all mine, babydoll. Are you going to listen to me now?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good boy,” I cooed. He preened at the statement, arching his back up towards me. I slid my hands up his chest to his throat and held the sides, restricting his blood flow as I pressed another kiss to his lips. He hummed lowly, a low whine of need. “Alright, you get to choose now. Do you want me to ride you or fuck you, Tomu?”
I let go of his throat so he could speak easier, but he didn’t respond, merely staring at me, conflicted. “I- I don’t know-“ he choked out. “I-“
A plan set itself in my head, and I gave him a devious smirk. “Do you want both? Do you not want to choose?” He stuttered, not knowing what to say. “Just a yes or no, baby.” He paused before nodding. “I need words.” I dragged my thumb across his bottom lip, pulling it down and watching it pop back into place.
“Yes, please, mommy, both.”
I grinned and pulled away, climbing off the bed. My strapon was a thick, blue one that I had finally decided to buy after eyeing it for a few days. I never really used it on myself, preferring to make Shiggy a sobbing mess underneath me with it. Once I had even convinced him to ride it; the images still sit in the back of my mind every time I grab it, his soft whines as he rode slowly only to yelp when I bucked up into him at a pace faster than he would have been able to handle.
After stepping in and strapping it to myself tightly, I pulled Tomura’s pants off completely, letting them fall to the already dirty floor with a soft thump. Then, I moved back to my dresser to grab a bottle of lube, flipping it a few times as I watched him. He was panting as his bright red eyes met mine. He was trembling faintly, tugging lightly at the restraints as his cock twitched at the stimulation from the vibrations.
I walked over and climbed between his legs, grinning as I spread them to fit me. He was already leaking slick – something I had forgotten he produced during this time. I didn’t even have to lube my fingers before pressing at his entrance. He moaned lowly and then shut his mouth, looking away as I pushed a finger in. The warmth he provided was incredible, practically inviting me in. It made a loud, wet sound when I pulled out, and I watched him for his reaction.
He let out a shuddering breath but refused to meet my eyes, his face flushing even deeper with embarrassment.
“What’s wrong,” I mused, dipping into him again but this time with a second finger. “What are you embarrassed about?”
He didn’t answer, so I slapped his outer thigh with my free hand. “I- I don’t know,” he grumbled, glancing at me before looking away again.
I raised my body, moving my face towards his while pushing my fingers in until I was knuckle-deep, pushing slick out as I went in. “Look at me, baby.”
He hummed out an ‘uh-uh.’ I curled my fingers, and he let out a moan, his mouth still shut.
“Look at me, baby,” I purred. When he still refused to look, I took to grabbing his face again, forcing him to look at me. My fingers began to move at a steady pace, pumping in and out of him. “Do we need to do the mirror exercise again, or are you going to look at mommy while she fucks you?”
The mirror exercise in question was an exercise in self-confidence that he was subjected to quite often. I would set us in front of a floor-length mirror and fuck him while forcing him to watch so he could see how pretty he looked like this. I was quite a fan of it; he was not so much.
He shook his head. “I don’t want to.” Insecurity laced his voice, and I paused my movements, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his cheek, followed by his forehead, nose, and then mouth.
“Please, bub,” I whispered, pressing another kiss to his jaw. “Let me see your pretty, red eyes. Be a good, little boy for mommy.”
His eyes flickered to mine and then away a few times before he huffed and nodded. “I’ll be your good boy.”
I grinned, moving back down. “Then, let me see those eyes, and let me hear your moans, babydoll.”
I surged my fingers forward, and he let out a loud moan at the action. I sucked a hickey onto his inner thigh as I added a third finger, prepping him fully. When I pulled out, noticing how close he looked to cumming, he followed my moves, silently pleading with me to go back, to let him finish. In response, I lined up my cock to him.
My soaked hand crawled up him and pressed against his lips, slowly forcing their way inside. “Open up,” I said, and he did, opening his mouth wide. I pushed my fingers in, curling them around his bottom teeth before letting go. “Suck.” He complied, and I watched, mesmerized as he pulled them farther into his mouth, sucking slowly and running his tongue along my fingers. “Good boy,” I cooed.
He chirped before mumbling something against my fingers. I pulled them out, grinning at the pop they made. He mumbled something again, but I still couldn’t hear.
“What do you need, doll?”
He hesitated before responding in a quiet voice. “Can you spit in my mouth again?”
My brain took a few moments before what he said registered fully. I let out a loud laugh and nodded enthusiastically. “Open your mouth, then.”
He paused and then opened wide, encouraged by my thumb helping drag it open. My other hand gripped his throat as I made him wait in anticipation. He looked like he didn’t believe I would do it before I raised myself off of him a bit and spit, smiling when I watched it hit the back of his throat.
He instinctively shut his mouth and swallowed, a small smile climbing on his face that was quickly replaced with a lewd look as I pushed the tip of my cock into him. He cried out and pulled roughly on the ropes. I almost wanted to take them off, wanting to feel his nails dig into my back, but this sight was nearly as good.
I braced his hips with one hand, the other still pressing against his throat, and then I snapped into him completely. He let out a broken moan followed by a sob, and tears gathered in his eyes at the feeling of being so full so fast. I pulled out slowly and then snapped in again, receiving the same reaction.
Then, I paused, waiting until he sighed, telling me that he was ready, and then, I set at a brutal pace, plunging into him again and again, reveling in the sounds he made. His cock twitched and twitched, and so I wrapped my hand right above the ring and stroked him to the pace of my thrusts.
“Aghh- ahh- mommy-“ he mewled, “please, please, please, let me cum, mommy, please. I’ll do anything! I’ll be your good little boy, please.” I put my fingers in his mouth again, holding his jaw open as I slammed into him again. He cried against my fingers but kept his eyes open, though they kept fluttering between open and closed. Then, I hit something inside of him that made him throw his head back, clenching his fingers into fists as he yelled. “Please,” he whined against my fingers, “please, mommy, please.”
I hummed and chuckled lowly, leaning forward to nip against his jaw. “Go ahead, doll. Cum for mommy.”
The reaction as instantaneous. He violently shook as he came, spurting strips of cum onto both of our stomachs as a chorus of ‘thank you’s were yelled against my hand. I didn’t stop fucking him though. If anything, I picked up the pace a bit, hitting that little spot in him again and again if his reaction was anything to go by.
Tears began to gather in his eyes, and he shimmied his hips, trying to get me out, but I persisted. He cried out again as I started stroking his cock again, his recovery period nowhere near done, but he still hardened after a few moments, though tears began to stream down his face at the same time. I mumbled praises against his neck as I went, sucking hickeys into the scarred skin. “You’re doing so well for me, baby. So, so good.”
He sobbed loudly and thanked me again, closing his eyes as more tears fell.
“You’re mommy’s good boy, right, baby? You’re all mine?”
“Ye-e-es, mommy,” he whined against my fingers.
“Are you going to let mommy ride your cock?”
He chirped and shook his head. “It’s too much. I can’t take it.”
“Yes, you can,” I purred, pulling out of him slowly. “I know you can, darling, because you’ve missed me so much. When’s the last time you’ve been inside me? I know you’ve missed it.”
He choked out another sob and nodded. “Anything for you, mommy. I’m all yours.”
I switched the cockring to a higher vibration setting, and he tensed his entire body. “You look so pretty like this, Tomu. You’re such a pretty crier.” He shook his head at the statement and sniffled. “Yes, you are, so pretty, and all for me.” The strapon was easy to slip off, and the thud it made against the floor alerted him of what was next. I straddled him effortlessly and lined him up to my entrance, rubbing him gently against my lips. “Such a little whore. Mommy’s little whore.” He preened at the name and sucked in a deep breath as I sunk onto him. “Let me see your eyes, baby.”
His eyes fluttered open and practically rolled into the back of his head as I began to ride him. It wasn’t a fast pace, relatively slow compared to the last activity, but he came in only a few seconds without warning, yelling apologies as he did so. I only laughed in response and then moaned as the vibrating cockring hit my clit in a delicious way.
Tomura was shaking his head again, crying as I rode him and tugging on the restraints to no avail, but he hadn’t said our safeword, so I knew he was fine. “I can’t take anymore, mommy. I can’t do it.”
“Yes, you can, doll,” I replied, gripping his throat again. “I just need you to cum one more time for me. Just one more.” He shook his head, but I nodded, picking up speed. He felt so fucking good inside of me, and the vibrations added just the right amount of pressure to where I knew I wouldn’t last long. I was just waiting for him. “You feel so good in me, baby. Do you like how I feel? Do you like being my little whore? My cumslut?”
He nodded. “I do! I do!”
I leaned down and kissed him forcefully, pushing my tongue against his and moaning around his mouth. He chirped loudly and pulsed, and I could tell that the wet sounds we were making were getting to him. “Are you going to cum in me? Going to let me cum around your cock?” He nodded quickly and chased my lips when I pulled away. Strings of saliva connected the two of us, and the sight of it made me even more excited. “Let me feel you, Tomu. Cum for me, baby.”
He yelled out, shook forcefully, and then came, and the feeling of him filling me, the warmth of it all, sent me overboard. I was cumming, too, clenching around him and sucking him dry as my face dropped quickly, and I bit him on the juncture between his neck and shoulders where his scent glands were, sealing that he was mine. My property. He sobbed loudly but smiled into me when I pulled up and kissed him again, biting his bottom lip as I pulled away. My hips finally came to a stop, and when I pulled off of him, fluids dripped out of me and onto his pale skin quickly. Then, I turned off the ring and pulled it off of him, much to his relief.
Tomura sucked in a few deep breaths and closed his eyes, sniffling every now and then as I moved to clean the both of us up. I dragged a towel against his skin gently first and then wiped myself off. Next, I reached over and untied the ropes around his wrists. His arms dropped limply once freed, and he didn’t move them. I had almost believed he was asleep for a few moments, but then, his red eyes peered open and met mine.
“Thank you,” he croaked, reaching his hand out to mine. I took it and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.
“Come on, do you want a shower? It’ll make you feel better.”
He nodded and lifted himself slowly, groaning at the feeling. “Can you help me,” he whimpered.
I wrapped my arm around his waist and led him up. “I certainly could have gone nicer on you.”
He chuckled, and I did too. “No, I enjoyed it. Thank you.”
I rolled my eyes and kissed his shoulder, leading him to the bathroom. “Maybe a bath would be more relaxing.”
“Either way, I think you fucked my heat right out of me.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure.”
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yanderelovebites · 4 years
Text
This is sitting in my head rn:
Darling is really sensitive. Not in the way where they’ll cry immediately or something (but still could) I mean like they have a past. So Yandere makes fun their appearance-usually when they’re is sadistic mood or maybe angry, like glasses or hair or whatever they can about the darling physically and if they do cry may make fun of that. Later when they leave them alone they hide in the bathroom looking at themselves. Worst part is the Yandere when in a good mood usually compliments the same traits so now they think they’re lying about it now. They stay in the bathroom and repeated instances start making the darling do actions against them. Maybe they ruin their pretty curls, if they have any, or stop wearing their glasses even though they may need them. Maybe they eat less and less if they were called fat or binge if they’ve been called skinny, even if they feel like they can’t eat all they make they force themselves... basically things they shouldn’t do. Maybe even hurt themselves and call themselves ugly. Just slowly going from confident to a suicidal person and the Yandere doesn’t notice because they don’t actually pay attention to their changes too much. They may acknowledge they crossed some lines if they notice their hair is different from its normal style or if they wear glasses and suddenly stop, even if they bump into everything otherwise. They don’t really see the outcomes until attempt is made. Like maybe the Yandere walks in during these self harming sessions or they’re trying to drown themselves in the bath. I could see the Darling breaking down as he realizes they tried that on themselves. They insult themselves, basically saying “I know you think..” and listing the insults and names and how they probably are gonna throw them away-whatever that means you can decide-and how they’re worthless and should die. And the Yandere doesn’t get it at first like they get that they’ve been insecure about these things since this happened, but why would the darling think they thought that? Yandere recalls all the times they called them beautiful, cute, handsome, etc because of those traits so why? Then they remember every time they lost it, every time they allowed themselves to sink to their sadism or anger. The Yandere just lowkey acts like this was nothing. Just pick them up and handles any injury. Will comfort them in their own way, even if that way isn’t as helpful as they’d think.
I’ve been seeing this with Dabi and Shigaraki because they definitely don’t know how to handle their temper or sadism all the time.
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