#. · ✦ ❪ … ❫ found between the folds of history over and over again › writing.

[korcariis]

𝕿ag archive . 

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ fate has already staked its claim on us  ›  arc / origins. 

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ neither a monster nor a martyr  ›  arc / witch hunt. 

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ these violent delights have violent ends  ›  arc / the last court.

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ none shall be untouched by the fires above  ›  arc /  inquisition.

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ found between the folds of history over and over again  ›  writing.

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ rumors of god run through your dark blood  ›  character study.

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ innocent. ruthless. bloodstained  ›  introspection.

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ at the heart of all beauty lies something inhuman  ›  reflection.

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ a lowly combination of the divine / the bestial  ›  wardrobe.

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it  ›  aesthetic.

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?  ›   self-promo.

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ our wishes bend the statues of the gods  ›  promo.

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ one creature’s need and another’s response ›  answered.

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ let's pick the truth that we believe in like a bad religion  ›  prompts.

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ hunger: a feeling and an ache. want of want  ›  desires.

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ feeling the love for my witchy wife in this chili’s tonight  › ooc.

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ thinking about the immortality of the crab › queue.

.  · ✦ ❪ … ❫ what are you doing in my swamp??!!  ›  crack.

[coralinnii]

❋ You said what now? ❋

↳ He accidentally found out your feelings

feat: Ruggie ⭑ Chenya ⭑ Lilia ⭑ Epel

genre: fluff (uhh for the most part), humour,

note: no pronouns used with the reader, no explicit spoilers for book 7 in Lilia’s section, reader is referred as human in Lilia’s section, reader is implied to be a first year in Epel’s section, bad cat-related wording in Chenya’s section

Fun fact: while not obvious in the English translation, if you listen to Chenya’s Japanese voice lines, he likes to say “nya” at the end of his sentences.

Will I keep that fact in mind anytime Chenya pops up? Absolutely.

Also, I just started my college classes again last week (which is why I didn’t post last week). All of my classes are dense with text and quizzes so…I need to study real hard which will most likely eat up my time for writing. Good ol’ inconsistent me~

Although, I’m taking History and we focus a bit on the age of nobility and old kingdoms…so maybe some inspiration for my villain/ess!au series (or maybe not cuz history is weirder than one thinks…)

How it happened

Perhaps a little sneaky, Ruggie is someone reliable, resourceful, and fun to be around. You started to fall for him and even that sneaky side of his became endearing to you.

But bigger, financial priorities occupy the hyena beastman’s mind more than anything else. Unless he can make a madol from it or get a freebie, his interest in anything else is seemingly non-existent. It was rather easy to keep your feelings to yourself when the topic of love rarely, if ever, comes up.

So it came to a surprise to you when the shaggy-haired sophomore mentioned his coworkers at a part-time job he picked up in town.

He started ranting about how a duo at his workplace started an unlikely relationship a few days ago. According to him, the two were from two different worlds and didn’t appear to be either of their types.

“Doesn’t make any sense if you ask me” he mumbled, scratching his fluffy head by the sudden revelation at his job.

You nodded and hummed as he recounted his workday with you, but in all honesty, you didn’t share his confusion over the so-called sudden pairing. By the way Ruggie described the couple, it does sound like their personalities wouldn’t mesh well and would theoretically clash too much for anything to bloom between them.

But attraction follows no simple formula. No one can stop themselves from falling for someone. You yourself were an example.

“Love is never predictable, Ruggie.” you commented without thinking, perhaps too distracted by the cute love story of Ruggie’s coworkers or it could be that you’re drowning in the warm feelings from being so close to your crush that your mouth is running too comfortably on its own. “I mean, I never thought you were my type but I still ended up-“

You shut your mouth before you could finish but looking at the wide-eyed expression on Ruggie’s face, the effort was moot.

“You still ended up?”

…Shoot.

What happens now?

Colour him shocked. Ruggie never entertained the idea that you would like him, out of all people.

He could’ve pretended not to figure it out, or convince himself that it was a misunderstanding. But he knew when he saw your flustered embarrassment and your cute stuttering trying to come up with an excuse, there was no misunderstanding. You like him.

Ruggie has a good amount of ego and he wouldn’t downplay his boyish good looks (odds are it got him out of a few close calls), but in a school of celebrities, royalty, and guys with money coming out the wazoo? He knows when he’s outmatched.

To be honest, his brain froze for a moment at your slip up. He clutched his heart which stuttered out of beat, his ears and tail stood in attention like a meerkat. Jack was worried watching his upperclassman in such a daze while folding laundry, heck it even got Leona raising a brow over the uncharacteristic clocked out look on his shorter dormmate.

But, Ruggie is a workaholic hyena. Always planning his way to work up the ladder to earn some good madol. Even if he likes the idea of making a family of his own, romance wasn’t in his peripheral vision at the moment. Not while he’s working multiple jobs at once. He would honestly feel a little bad because he knows he’ll end up ignoring any poor soul stuck with him.

As bad as it is, he might at first think to pretend he heard nothing about your feelings. He couldn’t bring himself to make you go through that, to be in a relationship where work takes precedence over you.

But then he thought it wouldn’t be so bad…snuggling up to you during one of his rare free time. Maybe you’re the type to surprise him with lunch and he could rest on your lap while you brush his hair. Would you maybe rub his sore muscles after an arduous club training session? Having boyfriend privileges means no one can complain when he slides up to your side, keeping your attention to himself without having to share…

Screw it, he’ll figure something out. He’s a greedy hyena through and through

Shyeheehee! Better be ready for what you’re asking for. Once I’ve set my eyes on something, I’m not lettin’ it get away!

How it happened

This man is a literal magic trick, appearing and disappearing to revel in the shock of his unsuspecting audience. As elusive as he is, the times he does show up brings a shock of joy and excitement to you.

It seems that the purple-haired student has made it a habit to join the Heartslabyul’s unbirthday parties from time to time, enjoying the occasional chaos and keeping you company to your conflicted delight.

You didn’t know why but Chenya made it his mission to fluster you every chance he gets, with cheeky comments and sly touches as he leads you away from incoming mishaps such as a stray splash of paint or a flying slice of cake. You don’t know why but the cat-like menace has taken a shine to teasing you out of the blue. Sometimes he would suddenly whisper nonsensical riddles into your ear, or tap your shoulder to then poke your cheek as you turn. Small silly pranks that should annoy you but your body becomes filled with butterflies when he smiles that charming grin at you.

How maddening, you thought as you fell for another sneaky surprise from the impish beastman. Once again, Chenya appeared right behind you, smiling just over your shoulder which gave you and your friends a fright (for different reasons) to which he took pleasure in, judging from the mischievous grin on his lips.

Your shouting caught the attention of the other Heartslabyul students and recognizing the white jacket and castle emblem, their eyes boiled with competitive rage. An RSA student? On Night Raven territory?!

“Ah, looks like fun time is over. I’ll just show meowself out~” and like a mirage, Chenya’s figure disappeared as the NRC students failed to catch even a strand of his fur. Not even when he took a second longer to fade out just so he could teasingly tickle the tip of your nose with his fluffy striped tail.

The students kept on making a fuss, eager to teach the mischief maker a lesson for trespassing on rival territory. You sighed at the wasteful effort, assuming that Chenya would be smart enough to have left long ago.

“Why must my crush be such a frustrating person?” Angry hollers and Riddle’s commanding cease-and-desist orders overwhelmed your tired voice, and your soft words ended up softly carried off into the wind.

But your words caught the interest of a curious ear before it disappeared.

What happens now?

Curiouser and curiouser. He was not expecting such a confession. Though to be fair, he supposed you didn’t mean for anyone to hear it.

Chenya found joy being in your company. The shock in your bright eyes followed by your cute laugh sends a warm, giddy feeling in his heart that he just could not stop. He had a feeling he knew what these feelings could be but he was content with what he could get in the rare moments he can see you.

But now, when he realized what your cute reactions meant? That sends whole new exciting feelings within him. It’s fuzzy and warm as usual, but now also shocking and thrilling. The sneaky beastman is grinning for more than one reason now.

He won’t immediately confess back. Considering this wonderful predicament where you don’t know he knows of your affections, his playful nature compels him to milk the fun of this situation for all its worth.

If you thought his cheeky antics were bad enough, you haven’t seen his flirty side till now. Playful taps on the shoulders become sneaky grabs by the waist, and just when you think he’s gone, his signature grin would grace your vision as he fades into view, a little too close to your own face. Sometimes when he feels emboldened, Chenya would sweep you off your feet for a spontaneous walk along the sweet breeze.

When you’re finally at your wit’s end, when all his teasing and heart-fluttering gestures fills you to the point of combusting in flustered frustration, that’s when he’ll finally tell you his reciprocated feelings, perhaps while stealing a quick kiss when you least suspect it. All to see that terribly adorable look on your pretty face.

Every adventure requires a first step. I’m excited to see where we’ll go together from meow on~

How it happened

See, you thought he already knew. You swore he did. Why else would he tease you so much with his sweet compliments and flirty jokes? The mysterious senior spoke to you as though you were a naive child crushing on their older peer, which you supposed wasn’t entirely wrong.

The way he treated you with so much care and love that you wondered if he already suspected of your feelings and was being considerate to you. He listens to your rambles as though he has all the time in the world for you, compliments you on your achievements as though he’s genuinely proud of your hard work, and he jokes with you with that boyish charm of his. But the scarlet-eyed fae never pursued further with advances with you, which made you think that perhaps this was just who Lilia was, a strange but friendly man, unwilling to hurt your feelings. Were you grasping at straws and misconstruing his intentions?

With a heavy heart, you tried your best to give up your hopes but maintained a cordial bond with Lilia, not wanting to avoid the jovial fae so suddenly (well, without having to explain why anyways)

But one day, when you were walking with the smiling senior, he started talking about a souvenir shirt that Kalim had given him during their club meeting. It was a shirt patterned erratically with various colours and pictures of tiny bats littered about. It was an eccentric visual of fabric but it strangely fits the equally eccentric man.

“What are your thoughts? Would I not look absolutely adorable in this?” Lilia asked, holding the shirt in front in his uniform with a boyish smile, his fangs peeking out slightly. But you rolled your eyes as you sighed exasperated by this man’s antics.

“Don’t you think that’s unfair for you to ask me?” You looked at him with a pout, somewhat irritated at the mature fae you’re trying to get over. “Of course I’d said you would, considering how much I like you”

For a rare moment, Lilia turned wide-eyed at your words. “Pardon? Do you by chance… harbour feelings for me?”

Turns out, he didn’t know at all

What happens now?

Guess you can still surprise this old man. He had his suspicions but for all he knew that was how the youth were these days. He was fond of your shy expressions whenever he was around and he could hear the quickening of your heartbeat, but he didn’t want to assume. Perhaps you were just more on the skittish side.

In the centuries he lived, he saw love in many forms. In the recent centuries he lived, he got to experience some of those forms of love he’s seen, with the pain and joy that comes with it. To him, it couldn’t ask for more as he lives out the last few centuries he has left.

You however, were still vibrant like a freshly bloomed flower in its prime. Was that why he just couldn’t take his eyes off you? He couldn’t help but watch in admiration as you lived with almost enviable vigour. He felt pulled, entranced to be by your side for even just a moment, just to see that beautiful gleam of life (and love, he realized) in your eyes.

But Lilia felt a beat of guilt in his heart. Your life is so short in comparison to his own. You should be sharing your youth with someone as brilliant as yourself, not pining over an old soul like himself. Humans are fickle creatures but he supposed with such short lives, it’s best to be curious and experience all one can without regrets.

He would be honest with you, sharing his thoughts with you as though warning that your affections were better spent with someone that suited you better. It would be up to you to convince the stubborn fae that he was your choice, that you already decided he suited you just fine. All you’re asking from him is if he shared the same feelings as you did.

“I may have tried to get rid of my feelings before, but I’m choosing not to run away this time,” in your eyes, Lilia sees that same vibrant gleam that mesmerized him, almost breathing a new sense of life into him. “All I ask is if you feel the same way”

And he does. He’s lying to himself if he hasn't thought of a life with you where he could steal surprise kisses throughout the day, where he could bring you to soar through the night skies as he takes you to explore the world with him. He imagines a life of silliness but also a life of blissful content as he gazes at you like a beacon of light in his life, a new reason to live a bit longer.

Lilia feels ensnared by love once more, but the burning warmth in his soul is just too invigorating. He’s looking forward to this new chapter in his life, with you.

I do hope you’ve prepared yourself, my dear. Eternal love with a fae should not be taken lightly. But rest assured, I look forward to our new adventure

How it happened

You were Epel’s close friend and confidant, someone who he can share his achievements and woes with. Being so new to the college, the two of you depend on each other through thick or thin and along the way, you grew to see the lavender-haired freshman as more than just a companion.

He has a bit of a temper and is quick to the jump at times, but he was always there for you and even though he doesn’t always see eye-to-eye with them at times, he respects his seniors and takes their lessons to heart.

When he talks about how much he dislikes his height or his feminine features, you nodded along for his sake but you couldn’t tell him that you were actually in disagreement. You adore his fluffy locks that you occasionally got to touch with his permission and his light blue eyes felt like calming waves of the purest lake. Epel constantly swore to you that he’ll have his growth spurt and will even tower Leona in height, but you like how you could hold him close to you without issue.

You love all that he is, even if he’s not too keen on some parts himself

But you kept this all to yourself. You thought Epel had other priorities on his mind and you were scared that confessing would ruin the friendship you’d built with him. For now, you were content to be by his side for however long you can.

You were dead tired during a particularly harsh Flying class with Coach Vargas and you were barely conscious enough to keep your eyes open. It took everything you had to just nod along to whatever Epel was saying, something about some Savanaclaw students?

“Who they think they are, callin’ me cute like that? I outta rip off their yapper for underestimatin’ me.” You weren’t helping his point when you thought how cute his accent was as he grumbled about his day. You were falling in and out of consciousness but thought you should at least reply back to your friend…anything at all…

“I’m sorry…that happened…even though…I think…you’re really cute…”

You were already out cold to notice your friend frozen in place as you finished your drowsy comment, your head landing on his stiff shoulders.

What happens now?

ALDFIUAHLBWAIGLH

Congratulations, you broke your friend and you don’t even remember it. When you woke up, you couldn’t figure out why Epel was as bright red as his hometown’s apples. Epel couldn’t even bring it up without getting too tongue-tied, his accent sputtering out incomprehensible words.

The blue-eyed freshman was raking his brain for an explanation. You thought he was cute…really cute to be precise, but what does that mean? Did you like him? As in like-like him? Is it normal for non-countryside folk to just say something like that? But most students around here tend to mean it like an insult but you weren’t like them, you would never do that to him. So what did you mean by it??

Left without a choice, Epel thought about who he could ask about this, maybe one of his seniors. But he immediately reconsidered when he realized who his seniors were (Vil and Rook will never let this go and there’s no way Leona would entertain this conversation) and turned to the only adult he can trust, his meemaw.

In his letter, he asked his grandma what it means when someone you cherish calls you cute (not mentioning who) and after a few days of fidgeting and awkward encounters with very confused you, he finally got an answer from her.

“STOP SITTIN’ ON YOUR KEISTER TWIDDLIN’ ‘ER THUMBS! GO AND ASK, DAGNABBIT!”

And that’s how you were confronted by a flustered Epel about your cute comment one random school day. To be fair, you probably didn’t fare any better when you realized you let your thoughts slip out.

You may have confessed your attraction to him but Epel can still be the first to make the first move. Relationships and dating are all new to the petite freshman and honestly he felt a little weak in the knees, all the nerves wracking his body like his first broom ride. But the past few days, he couldn’t stop thinking about being with you, sweeping you off your feet, impressing you the only way he can, to have your eyes solely on him like he does when you’re around. Heck, he thought what it’d be like to grow old with you, holding you like no one else can as you spend day and night by each other’s side. All these thoughts and more is what spur him to take the next step.

I ain’t too great on love and romance, but I’ll work hard to show ya how much ya mean to me. I promise that!

[joongernaut]

CONGRATS ON 700+!!!!!!!!!!! i love your writing omg very much well deserved i’m so happy for you🥰for your request thing can i request 8, 29, and 84 with haechan? fwb to lovers kinda vibe? (or whatever you think would work best! ty ILY AND CONGRATS AGAIN<3333)

pairing: reader x lee haechan

genre/warnings: smut, fwb to (somewhat) lovers, a little fluff and humor, mutual masturbation, fingering, semi-public

word count: 1k

A/N: thank you and ily2 anon! 🥰 this was a nice combo tbh and it felt fairly easy to come up with a setting for it so i hope you like this!

you felt haechan’s foot lightly kick at the back of your leg from under the shared blanket and you let out a small noise of surprise, turning over on your side to face him with a glare. “what?!” you asked in exasperation and haechan fought back a smile at successfully getting your attention. “i can’t sleep without you here.” he told you, patting down on the empty space between you two.

scoffing, your eyes narrowed at him suspiciously. “we’re literally sharing a tent together. what more do you want?” you deadpanned, now sitting up a bit from your position. haechan scooted closer to you, a hand reaching out to grab at your waist as your body tensed up before easing into the familiar touch. “cuddle with me, duh.” he said, as if it were the most obvious thing to do at the moment.

this would sound like an odd request coming from anyone else at the campsite. but with haechan, considering your not-so-friendly history together, you were already expecting something like this to come up. especially since he practically begged jeno to switch tents with him just so he could be with you.

you actually didn't mind the close proximity at all. which is why you found yourself scooting closer to him while draping an arm over his torso. “knew you couldn't resist me.” haechan taunted with a grin and you rolled your eyes in response. “or maybe i just wanted to shut you up.” you retorted, the pout returning to his face as he looked at you in mild offense.

“if you wanted to shut me up, you could've just kissed me.” he said, his voice dropping a pitch lower. the sudden change in his demeanor made you let out a nervous chuckle. “sounds like you just want a kiss… knew you couldn't resist me.” you joked, your body growing a bit hotter from the intensity of his stare.

“you’re right… i can’t. and i do want to kiss you,” haechan mumbled, leaning in close enough that his breath fanned over your face as he lightly cupped your chin. “could do a lot of things to you right now, actually.” he added, his eyes drifting down to watch your tongue swipe at your bottom lip.

“then do it.” you whispered, the words coming out quicker than your own thoughts could process it, and haechan was just as quick to respond by moving forward.

it was always so easy to melt into him, the plushness of his lips against your own always reeling you in and pulling you deeper. your bodies pressed into each other more insistently as he slipped his tongue into your mouth, earning a quiet moan from you. haechan sat up more, pushing you to lay on your back as he slightly hovered over you and continued to lick into your mouth eagerly. the hand that was situated on your hip roamed downward to the front of your sweatpants before pausing briefly.

“if we weren’t in public right now i’d have my head between your legs,” he broke the kiss, licking the tips of his fingers before his hand deftly slid past the waistband of your sweats and into your panties. “but i guess we’ll just have to settle with this until i can really get you alone.” he grunted once he felt your wet folds coating his fingers with arousal.

“don't care. just touch me, please.” you said through uneven breaths, using your own hand to cup him through his basketball shorts as he let out a hiss. you pressed a kiss to his lips quickly before trailing his neck as your hand slipped into his shorts and boxers, feeling his semi-hard cock and the generous amount of pre-cum leaking from his tip.

haechan began to pant as you started to stroke him, his pre-cum creating an easy glide for your hand as you got him harder and worked him up. he collected enough of your wetness to slip his ring finger snugly inside of you, then his middle, before slowly fingering you as he pressed his thumb down on your clit.

“i love it when you kiss my neck,” he said with a groan, a playful bite near his jugular making his hips thrust forward into your closed fist. “but i love it more when you kiss me instead.” he added, pressing his forehead against the top of your head until you looked up and captured his lips into another heated kiss.

with every deep thrust of haechan’s fingers into your pussy, your hand stroked him in time. his thumb started to circle your clit more firmly and, in return, you paid more attention to the tip of his dick and gave it a nice squeeze with every upward motion. he groaned into your mouth, throbbing in the palm of your hand as he curled his fingers upward making you clench hard.

“i’m gonna– fuck, i’m gonna cum if you keep doing that.” haechan breathed out shakily, fucking into your fist now, and you whimpered as his fingers continued to curl and thrust up against that spot along your walls. “cum with me, please? need you to cum with me.” he whined before pecking the corner of your mouth softly. your heart beat sped up at the small act of intimacy and you nodded weakly, grinding down on his digits as the coil in your stomach began to snap.

haechan’s mouth found yours again, swallowing every loud moan that threatened to come out while he helped you ride out your orgasm. your grip on his dick tightened and his hips stuttered as the action triggered his own orgasm, shooting ropes onto the inside of his underwear and a little bit on to your fingers.

you both shivered after retracting your hands from each other and haechan put his fingers in his mouth to clean them while you quickly wiped his remnants off your hand against his shorts. “ah, come on, that's gonna stain!” he whined and you shot him a smug smile. “should’ve never been annoying.” you shrugged, letting him wrap his arms around you as he brought you to his chest.

“you love my annoying ass.” he mumbled and you couldn't help but crack a smile, laying your head on his chest. after all, you did love his annoying ass.

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

When the Longing Returns

(Full fic here)

Ch. 7 Preview

Chapter 7 is taking me such an unholy long time to write. I'm a little over halfway through now. I wanted to share a little preview to tide everyone over. Hope you all enjoy

~~~

She pressed his fingers to her angel's lips and again whispered, so softly, "Please tell me."

Her breath, warm and gentle, puffed through his fingers as she spoke, and her eyes, troubled, but gently pleading, peeked over their joined hands,

A different kind of numbness—not numbness... calm? Peace? Something foreign. Not an emotion he had experienced enough to correctly identify it—spread through Erik's chest as reality settled on him.

Christine would listen.

For years Erik had been the listening ear to whom Christine had bared her soul, while Erik himself had no similar confessor. And... if he could not confide in Christine, then who else would ever hear him? Did he have any choice but to go down on his knees and pray that she would have the strength to forgive all the things that he'd done?

It seemed so wrong to burden her with the afflictions of a loveless childhood and the crimes of a godforsaken youth in the middle of a dark, damp tunnel.... Yet she knelt with him, held his hand with such an attitude of attentive sympathy! So ready to listen, to hear him...

That nameless sensation spread through his limbs and up to his head, bringing with it clarity; and he looked down at her knees, where they rested on the floor of the tunnel. Now he could feel the chill of the damp stone seeping into his own legs, and he could only imagine how cold it was for Christine in her thin cotton nightdress and negligée.

Christine was startled when he suddenly righted himself and made a decisive motion to stand and bring her up with him. With wide eyes, she watched as he unclasped his cloak, swept it off and brought it around her shoulders. She hadn't realized how chilled she was, even with her shawl, until she felt the garment envelop her in its warm, heavy folds, the sudden shift in temperature eliciting a delayed shiver.

Erik's expression was inscrutable as he gathered up his gloves and the lantern with its two broken panes, setting it down next to the bottom of the staircase. He then took her, very gently, by her upper arms and guided her to sit on the steps, the thick woolen cloak protecting her from the chill of the stone.

Erik knelt on the floor to one side of her, his eyes fixed on her knees. 

"How much did your—" he paused here, with a sigh, before resuming, "How much did the Vicomte tell you of what he learned about my past from Madame Giry?" he asked. His voice was strangely even and detached.

It galled Erik that he even had to ask her. No doubt, he thought, the simpering jackanapes had taken great pleasure in painting Erik's history to further condemn him in Christine's eyes—a murderous imp locked in a cage; a mere child, but already more monster than man. Much good it had done him.

Erik knew that some conversation had passed between the two. The Vicomte had found Christine huddled on the front steps of the opera house with little Meg following his little têt-á-têt with the latter's mother.

Erik had seen it all, but from the rooftop; and even his superb hearing could not cut through the din of New Year's Eve in Paris to capture what was being said in hushed voices seventeen stories below. Erik strove not to remember the surge of jealous rage that had overtaken him as he had watched the Chagny boy put his dolman around Christine and hold her as she rested her head against his shoulder.

Christine was a little surprised at Erik's question. She had always thought of him as being absolutely omniscient. She had assumed that, somehow, he had heard all that Raoul had related to her. But then, she supposed even the Opera Ghost might not hear what was said outside of the Opera house's walls.

"Only that you were kept in a cage in a travelling circus, and Madame Giry helped you escape," she replied. "And that she hid you in the opera cellars, and you've never known anything outside since..."

"Is that truly all he told you?"

So the Vicomte hadn't spoken of the murder at all then?

"Yes. That's all," she confirmed, now certain, from Erik's response, that Raoul had withheld some details of importance. A twinge of irritation passed through her. "There's more he didn't tell me, isn't there?" she asked quietly, an edge to her voice.

Erik could not help the little sound of dark humour that escaped him. "Yes, Christine... yes, there was more..."

A moment of silence as Erik gathered his thoughts, steeling himself against the heavy sense of trepidation that threatened, like a disease, to take hold of his tongue.

Doing his level best to shake it away, he said, "I will tell you all," his even tone trembling a little. "I only ask that you be gentle in your judgement of me."

He chanced to look up at Christine, dared to meet her gaze, and felt a profound sense of nudity; as though her rich, dark eyes would draw the truth out of him and into their depths with an irresistible gravity. Hers was not a piercing gaze, but a haling one. 

Once caught by that gaze, he found that it held him, and he could not look away.

"I was born in a village near Rouen," he began simply...

[amazing-spiderling]

17, 22, 34

17. Past or present tense? Why?

PAST TENSE (with a rare exception). It just... reads better to me. It feels more comfortable, more like a narrative and less like an account of events that are happening right now. I feel like present tense has its place, (I've used it on occasion) but being told that a character is doing something RIGHT NOW leaves me feeling a bit on edge. If that's what you're going for, knock yourself out- but if I'm just trying to get lost in a story, I want past tense to take me there.

22. What is it about watching the same two idiots falling in love over and over again?

Gosh, what isn't it? I don't know, I mean, I get the meme of it, of course, but I don't even really think of it like that. I suppose comic books (specifically marvel comics) have been a big part of my fandom life for decades now, and there has always been that "what if"/multiverse aspect, so it seems natural to want to imagine characters in alternate universes or different versions of a scenario where things turned out slightly differently.

But, for the sake of argument, when thinking about stories that are more in line with canon... I think there's a comfort to it. We live in a universe full of so much randomness and chance- tiny differences in one day can make the difference between meeting someone special or getting hit by a bus. Sometimes, it can feel daunting to look back at your life and think about how one thing or another might have led your life in a different direction. I think there is a comfort to be found in the fantastical idea that there are can be core parts of a life experience that are immutable. Even if you took a different class or skipped your morning coffee or overslept one day, you'd still find your way to the people, places, and events you were always meant to. Or that even after you find those people, even if you had an argument, or made a decision took you both to a different place, that the relationship you have is strong enough to weather those small differences. It's not really about fate or destiny, it's about the strength of a bond and its ability to persevere even if the conditions aren't exactly "right".

34. Do you write to improve? Or is that not a concern for you?

I wouldn't say that it's not a concern- I mean, I would be pretty disheartened to think I'm getting worse at something I spend so much time on. But it isn't at the forefront of my thoughts the way it is say with art. In the past I would make myself take on challenges (my ask blog, drawing events) specifically with the purpose to developing a skill or learning how to use a program or simply learning to be less precious with the process. I don't think I ever really did that with writing, though. I know there are writing month events- but if I try to force myself to participate I just hit a mental block.

I think it's also easier for me to see improvement in my art at a glance. I can go back and look at a history of drawings and immediately say "oh I got better at drawing folds in clothing"- but comparing my old and new writing samples is a bit trickier. I don't often go back and reread my old work- and if I'm honest, sometimes I think some of my older pieces are better than some of my newer ones, oops.

I will say that while I don't think I make a conscious effort to write to improve my writing- I do consider writing a means to improve at other things. I think writing has made me better at processing my own emotions and empathizing with others. I think it's helped me to develop a vocabulary to help explain my thoughts and processes when I'm speaking with others. I've been told that I "speak like a writer" in the past, and I think that's just because when you spend enough time writing, you have to spend time finding words for things, and there's a rhythm to that that easily finds its way into your day to day.

[dreaming-of-mossballs]

Bamboo for a Bashful Captain - (Gepard x Reader) - Chapter 3

Summary: Gepard gives you a tour of the city (although it’s more like you’re dragging him along.)

▸ Genre(s): Fluff, a sprinkling of angst

▸ Word Count: 15k in total, 2.9k for this Chapter

▸ Tags: Gepard x reader

▸ Warnings: Food mention, possible ooc, reader is shorter than Gepard and slightly fem coded, explicit pronouns aren’t used but Serval calls you a doll,

A/N: I took most of my rules for writing dialogue from some random Wings Of Fire I had on my desk. It’s been so many years since I’ve read it.

MASTERLIST (also link to series)

The sun was high in the sky the next day when you met Gepard in front of the Everwinter Monument. 

He was hard to miss, really. The light reflected off every possible inch of his uniform. When you turned to face him, you had to shield your eyes with a gasp.

Oh, this man was too brilliant for everyday life. 

“I hope you weren't waiting too long,” he said gently, blonde strands of hair waving in the breeze. 

“Not at all! I was just taking my time admiring the monument.” You gazed back up at the incredible sculpture. “That’s not real ice… is it? I feel stupid for asking,” You murmured. 

“Not exactly. It does look remarkably realistic, though. It was made as a tribute to Plamya, one of the many great architects of this city,”

“What did she do?” You looked at him, feeling intrigued but slightly uneducated.

“She's the one who led the charge in constructing the citadel in order to protect the city from the eternal freeze,” he responded, gazing up at the structure. 

“I can't believe one woman spearheaded that entire operation!” you commented. “You sure know a lot about the history of Belobog, Gepard,”

“You could say that. Now, why don't we get going? There’s a lot to see in Belobog’s administrative district,” 

———

To say there was “a lot to see” in the Administrative District was the understatement of the century. 

It was everything you had imagined it to be, pieced together from stories told by your upperclassmen, and more. Your first decision was to stop at various newspaper stands, ecstatically flipping through half of the available merchandise. 

There was so much to read up here! In the Underworld, the same 30 books were cycled between people over and over again. Most of them were medical records kept by Natasha, too. 

Gepard made sure to point out important buildings and historic facts to you as you walked. You had no idea there was so much history to the place! You started bouncing down the street so excitedly, he had to pull you out of the way of an oncoming street car. 

Next, you made sure to peer through the windows of all of the shops. At one particular clothing store, you bent down to get a closer look at the stitchwork on the pieces. There was not a seam to be found. Your guide noticed you staring particularly hard at a certain item of clothing.

“Is there anything that piqued your interest?” Gepard inquired. You sighed, scrunching your face up.

“Well, yes, but I'd rather not spend recklessly right now. I don't want to look like an upstart,” you scoffed. You stared at the article a little longer before turning away and standing up.

“That’s understandable.” He folded his arms and nodded. He took a step back to get a better look at the display window that belonged to the boutique you were so curious about. 

After successfully making every shop owner in a 3-block radius uncomfortable, you decided to check out the famous theater in the area. The building was more elegant than anything you had ever seen in your life, with square columns were detailed down to the centimeter. You figured a single chunk would fetch a pretty decent price. You did still have your old mining pickaxe—,

You squished your face with your hands suddenly to dispel your unholy thoughts. A confused expression flickered across Gepard’s face, but he thought nothing of it. He merely wasn’t accustomed to seeing people this excited, especially when he was present.

You decided to write down a reminder to buy tickets for your next day off.

By noon, you were ridiculously parched from scurrying around the city. You spotted your savior, a friendly vending machine, resting by the stone wall of the lower level of the city. You enthusiastically punched in the numbers for a Jim Roger Bread Soda, asking Gepard if he would like one too.

“Soda? I’ve only had the pleasure of trying it once,” he responded, 

“Ah, I see. We used to drink it a lot when the water wasn't safe,” you reminisced, meeting his gaze. “I wasn't sure if you guys indulged in that type of thing up here,”

“It wouldn't hurt to expand my view on beverages, I suppose.” He rested a hand on his chin thoughtfully.

You fed some more coins into the machine, and out popped a differently shaped bottle. It was rather small, especially for someone with hands like Gepard’s. 

“The carbonation in this one is a little weaker, so maybe you'll like it better. Who knows?” You said with a grin, handing it to him.

When he inspected the label, it read, “Strawberry Svarog”, complete with a curly straw and a cartoon of a laughing child. He deduced it must have been a children’s soda, popping the cap off and tilting his head back, but you stopped him before the bottle reached his lips.

“Nuh uh,” you shook your head disapprovingly. “You’ve gotta use the straw, or else you won't get the full experience!” 

He looked at you quizzically. “Do I really have to?”

You pursed your lips at him. He sighed, tearing open the straw and taking a sip. You had to admit, he did look a little silly, with a serious look on his face and his nose all scrunched up. Stifling a giggle, you screwed the cap off your own soda.

“How is it?” You asked. “I don't think I've ever had that flavor before— Strawberry Svarog? I wonder what he would think if he found out he was being used as a marketing gimmick,” you snickered. 

What on Jarilo-VI is a strawberry? Gepard wondered.

“Not too shabby. Here, try some.” He held it out to you, but instead of taking it in your hands to drink, you leaned forward and took a sip while he was still holding it.

The background chatter around you seemed to cease slightly. 

“I agree! A little on the lukewarm side, but—,”

Mortified, you realized what you had done. 

“Shoot—! I'm s-sorry. Must be gardener’s reflexes or something! I guess I thought I still had dirt on my hands or something… hahaha,” you trailed off.

Your face felt like it was burning as you flailed your arms about, so you spun around quickly to prevent him from seeing your frazzled expression. 

And it was a good thing you did, too, or else you would have seen his.

The soldier next to you resembled more so a “strawberry” than a man. His eyes darted around wildly as he turned the other way to give you some privacy, his hands falling to his side. 

“W-well, no matter.” He coughed. “Why don't we stop and get something to eat as well? You must be famished,”

“Yeah… definitely,”

———

Gepard took you to the cafe by Serval’s workshop, where she and Molly would often stop by on their lunch breaks. You grabbed a croquette sandwich, and him, a muffin. You sat down at the metal tables outside and began to enjoy your food. 

The guard made a noticeable clanking noise as he sat down. He was almost a head taller than you. It was a little embarrassing, frankly. 

“So, Gepard, do you always wear your uniform when you're out and about?” You questioned. 

“I do, yes.” He nodded.

“It has to be comfortable if you wear it all the time, then,” 

Gepard hummed thoughtfully. “Not exactly. But it is required of me, after all.” He took a bite of his muffin. 

You reached across the table and grasped the arm with the gauntlet, examining it closely.

“Whoa! It’s really warm!” You exclaimed, turning his hand over so his palm faced upwards. You curled each of his fingers almost instinctively. “This thing makes you look really tough, you know?” You added. 

Gepard could have died right then and there, and he would have been happy.

“R-really? You think so?” He closed his eyes bashfully. 

You hummed in response, still focused on his handguard.

Come to think of it, I don't think I've seen anyone around here that looks remotely close to him, you wondered. I figured there would be more, since he's a soldier and all, 

You took a bite of your food, determined to remain unbothered. Gepard finished his muffin quickly, so you offered him half your sandwich in your usual generous fashion. 

As you finished up, a commotion coming from the center of the plaza drew your attention. A crowd of around forty people had gathered by the monument, clapping their hands to a steady beat. They seemed to be arranged in a circle surrounding someone.

Your face lit up as you heard the tones of an instrument beneath the chatter of people. The metal chair, which you had been sitting in previously, was pushed away with a screech as you got up. 

Gepard reached out a hand to you as you sprinted towards the throes of people, but faltered and let out a defeated sigh. He gave in and rose to join you instead.

When you reached the center of the square, you spotted the musician you often saw practicing outside the shop, strumming her guitar as people smiled around her. (Although the only reason you knew of her was because Vaska had a huge crush on her and would NOT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT. “Ooh, (Y/N), do you think she likes reading? Do you think she likes Tale of the Winterlands???” It was actually kind of sweet, though.)

According to your sheepish co-worker, it was “just a passing fancy”. This “passing fancy” had been going on for about two months. 

I wonder if I should take a video to send to her, you wondered with an amused smile.

You began to tap your foot in sync with the downbeats of the song. You were taken aback by just how quickly the music ensnared you in its hold. It filled you with energy that coursed through your veins.

And it seemed like you weren't the only one, either. Several people in the crowd began to dance, children and couples alike twirling hand-in-hand. You feel a grin start to form on your face, and decided that now would be a great time to join the fray. 

You leapt into the center, right next to the musician, who gave you a wink. You swayed on your feet with the strums of the guitar, your dress whirling. You kicked your legs into the air, mirroring the person across from you with a giggle. 

Meanwhile, Gepard was politely making his way towards the front of the crowd. 

“Excuse me, apologies, coming through,” he muttered while tapping on people’s shoulders. The crowd parted when they spotted him coming. 

He strained his neck to look into the mass of dancers, spotting you at the center, dipping your arms and spinning on your feet with another girl your age. 

You caught a glimpse of Gepard’s iconic uniform in your line of sight, and immediately waltzed over to him in a rather dramatic fashion. 

You ran your fingers down his forearms lightly, and then interlaced your hands with his, yanking him backwards with all your might into the dancers. He yelped as he stumbled into your arms. For someone built like a tank, he sure came unbalanced easily. 

“Wait— ah, h-hold on, I don't know how to dance—,” Gepard stammered, glancing down at you. 

“That's fine, just hold on to me!” You winked at him, pulling him closer so he couldn't back out. You rested a hand on his shoulder, and wrapped the other around his gauntlet. You shuffled him into a silly looking box step, something that would resemble a dance a family might have in the kitchen.

Gepard’s breath was much heavier than usual, especially because he was in such close proximity to you. Your chests were pressed together, in order to take up the least amount of space as other people spun past you. 

His eyes were wide with surprise as you raised his arm and twirled under it. It took all of his concentration to keep his hands from shaking. He was worried about gripping you too tightly or too loosely, as one wrong move from a guard like him could squish you. 

He tried to dispel his worries, and instead focused on you. You were as radiant as the sun, with a smile brighter than the Belobog snow. 

You two wove through the crowd, stepping rowdily with the upbeat music, and he tried his best to keep up. Gepard felt his cheeks warming while you stared into his eyes, an elated expression paining your features. Unfortunately, it was cut short though. You stepped on your own foot and sent you both tumbling onto the pavement, the clatter of his armor dimming the laughter of children for a split second. 

The crowd stepped out of the way as you rolled on the stone ground, limbs tangling together. 

You burst into raucous laughter as you sat up, holding your stomach because it hurt so much and wiping tears from your eyes. Gepard was engaged in breathy laughter of his own. He looked just like a prince when he was happy, you realized.

“Wow, that was… incredible,” He coughed.

“I know right? I have the grace and beauty of a warp trotter.” You got up and curtseyed, flaring your jacket for extra impact and offering a hand to him.

“I don't see why that matters as long as you're having fun,” He took your hand and you pulled him up with a grunt.

You noticed the crowd was giving you some strange glances, some of them looking directly at you as they whispered under their breath. You clenched your jaw slightly. 

“I guess you're right. On the other hand, you got pretty into it too!” You turned your attention back to him, teasing him with a grin. He wiped his cheek with a distracted look.

Heading out of the crowd, you leaned on his shoulder like a wounded soldier. When you finally escaped, you realized the sun was setting with a start.

“My gosh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to take this long,” you spoke, embarrassed. “I just got super caught up in the moment, s’all,” 

“No worries,” He said as he gestured reassuringly. “I enjoyed it. I can't remember the last time I spent some quality time in the city,”

“I guess there's always some fun to be had, even if you've lived here your whole life,” you commented. “Wait! I almost forgot— I wanted to get a picture in front of the monument,” you fished your phone out from your bag.

“Of course,” he said courteously, holding his hand out towards you. You looked at him, puzzled.

“Of us, I mean,”

“Oh, um… sure,” He swallowed a lump in his throat.

“It’s all right if you'd rather not,” you yammered, your face beginning to heat up. “It’s just that it's my first time on an outing with a friend! I wanted something to remember it by,” 

“It's fine, it’s not an inconvenience or anything,” he blurted out. 

You motioned for him to stand in front of the monument next to you and raised your phone up. No matter how hard you tried though, you could never catch more than half of his face in the frame, even on your tippy toes. You grumbled as you kept trying to adjust your position.

He took the phone from you gently, holding it up so it caught you both from above. The shutter clicked and he handed it back to you, and you raised your arms above your head with a cheer.

“It looks great! Thank you so, so much. I’ll send it to you once I get the chance,” you beamed. 

“I would enjoy that,” he responded with a soft smile. Fortunately for him, the sunset hid the blush on his face that stubbornly refused to go away. 

He walked you back to the florists, shoulder to shoulder. The streets were now quieter, with the trams having stopped for the day, and all that remained outside the shop was a group of kids and their caretakers. 

You stopped at the stairs, bowing your head when you turned around. 

“Thank you for accompanying me today,” you said gently, rocking from the balls of your feet to your heels. 

“My pleasure,” Gepard replied. He placed a hand on his chest and nodded back, just like a gentleman would. 

As corny as it seemed, your heart fluttered in your ribcage. Resting a hand on your hip, you used the other one to flick him in the forehead, sending a few strands of golden hair flying. You bit your lip to keep from laughing. 

His eyes sprung open, his hand going to his forehead in surprise. 

“It’s best you get going,” you said. “Soldiers need their beauty rest, after all. Get home safely!” 

He nodded with a silent smile before turning away and starting off towards the direction of Qlipoth Fort. While he was walking, he felt a vibration in his pocket. 

His phone had one new notification, which was from you. Gepard opened up the messaging app to see the photo you had taken. You were wearing a goofy grin, and he was bent down with his lips pressed together sheepishly.

Gepard felt something akin to happiness bubbling up from his chest. He looked up into the sky, allowing himself a single second to loosen up, and pumped his fists into his chest. He sauntered towards the estate, humming one of his sister’s songs as he went. 

Meanwhile, the kids playing nearby were dumbfounded. A little red-haired girl stopped and pointed at him.

“Mommy, what's that man doing?”

2023 - Dreaming-of-Mossballs - Do not repost/translate without my permission - NO AI

[cillspropertea]

Flipped

Chapter 19 : Diamond 

Warnings: Mature Content 🚨🔞

This fic might have dark themes which may irritate or offend some readers. But if you’ve seen Peaky Blinders and are familiar with Thomas Shelby, you’ll be okay. The story, plot, character histories and back stories might not be relevant to the original “Peaky Blinders” . Warnings will change per chapter. This is my first fic. Hope you all like it. English is not my first language.

Do not hesitate to comment, reblog and engage. 😁 It works as fuel for my writing. 😉💙💙

Word count: 1423

Flashback continued…

It was dark but the moon was shining brightly through the window. Thomas was lying in his bed, arms behind his neck, eyes upwards, watching the ceiling. He watched her intensely as she took one step after the other towards his bed and when she had reached the opposite side he silently moved the duvet up, inviting her in. She slipped beneath it watching his face too. He scooted closer until they were almost nose to nose. “Hi.” He said cockily, “Hi.” She replied shyly. His hand reached for her shoulder, tracing a line along her arm. Esmeralda felt the feather-light touch all the way to her bones. She let her fingers touch his lips and then wander down towards his neck, through his chest hair to his chest. The darkness of the room making her bolder. “Lay on top of me…” she breathed. He was taken aback a bit but obliged immediately, before she changed her mind, by moving on top of her, supporting his weight on his arms. She opened her legs, letting him settle in between. That’s when she realized he was naked beneath the sheets. He watched her take a deep breath. He was hard. Usually he knows when he has played the cards right with a woman. He knows that he has the woman eating out of his palm. But with Esmeralda, he was never sure. His shaft throbbed on her silk covered folds. She was astonished at how delicious his weight felt on top of her. She moved her fingers though his hair the other hand caressing his face, learning each feature through touch alone. He closed his eyes leaning into her touch and letting his arms cradle her. His chest pressed into hers. “What do you want love? Tell me and it’s yours…” he whispered through her fingers after kissing their tips. She wanted him. Craving his touch and mouth. “Distraction…” she mumbled. He frowned for a moment, the sultry smoke in his eyes vanished for a second, making Esmeralda rethink her choice of words or in this case word but then he smirked. Leaning in he took her lips in his once again.

    He let his mouth explore her neck and shoulder next. Her breathing hitched as she felt his hot breath and tongue on her skin. Her neck had tiny scars peppered all over it, Thomas felt them under his tongue. When he tried to remove her gown she stopped him. “Wait… I…” panic evident in her eyes. Thomas kissed her worry away and did not try to remove the clothing again but instead palmed her breast through the silky garment. Esmeralda’s sex was throbbing now. She bit her lip to try and stop herself from making any vulgar noises.

    But then Thomas’s hand went to her core. She yelped when she felt his fingers feeling her bundle of nerves beneath her silken underwear. No one had touched her there before. She had experimented a few times as a teenager but had never reached the peak of her pleasure. And then one day she had been caught by Malaiah in her room. She was mortified as her Grandmother had called her a slut and tied her in the basement for two days without any food or water ‘To cleanse the filthy feelings out of her’ she had said to her mother. Her hands were blue and numb when she had been taken out. Maliah promised to burn her at the stake if she ever found her ‘experimenting’ again. In their books, women were only supposed to be a way of pleasure for the men. Their own needs or wants were completely ignored when it came to sex.

    That punishment had scarred her forever and had never really let her come in terms that part of herself. She reached down and hastily took her panties off before reaching for his shaft. “Fuck!” he breathed through clenched teeth as her hand started to rub it. He was so hard that he knew he could cum any moment. He caught her hands in his and pushed them next to her head, entangling her fingers in his. He let his shaft slide on to her sex directly. “Oh God!” Esmeralda threw her head back in pleasure. The juices of her core lubricating his movements further enhancing the intensity. His cock’s swollen head hitting her clit again and again rhythmically.  

  Thomas knew Esmeralda was a virgin and going in wouldn’t be that pleasurable the first time. “Is this distracting enough love?...” He hissed barely holding on to his passion. Esmeralda could not answer at all. Her moans and hisses were her only reply. “Let go Esmeralda… that’s it…” and she did. She groaned as his words tipped her over the edge. Her whole body shook with the vibrations of her orgasm. Watching her bliss Thomas too followed, pumping his cock with his hand and coming all over her negligee through the night gown, on her stomach. Utterly spent, he laid on top of her as Esmeralda rubbed the back of his head and his back with her hands, both trying to calm their breaths. That is when he saw the fresh blood on her bandage. “Fuck!” He moved off of her immediately. She sat on the edge of the bed as Thomas gently started to peel off the bandage to see the damage. “I should have been more careful…” she simply kissed him shut up. Looked like the stitches were still intact but the wound had started to bleed. He cleaned the wound as gently as he could.

    After cleaning up Thomas and Esmeralda slid back into bed. She had borrowed one of Thomas’s undershirts to wear, The stretchy material doing nothing to hide the shape of her curves but it was comfortable and Esmeralda was enjoying teasing him. They had talked for hours. Asking random questions, trying to get to know as much as they could about each other. When Thomas had asked about her childhood. He had easily sensed how uncomfortable and vulnerable Esmeralda had become during her answers. But her determination to tell him everything had made his heart swell. She was so utterly ruined. The way she was treated as a child had to leave a lot of pain behind. But somehow she had managed to save her giving side. She still believed in goodness and had a bit of faith in the future and… in him. It made him think how every smile of hers had to be so much more precious and priceless now. None of them remembered when they’d fallen asleep. But at some point they had managed to tangle their bodies together. He woke up with her head resting on his bare chest. It was the best sleep both of them had had in a long time.

------

Polly entered the Arrow house, all fresh and ready to ruin the morning of every foe that came her way. She was happy and chirping for she had seen a beautiful dream with the feeling that it would come true very soon. She had seen herself gifting Thomas and Esmeralda a white mare and a bunch of red roses. The white mare represents hope and red roses meant marital bliss. She couldn’t wait to see them married at all. But before the wedding there was a funeral to attend to.

------   

The roar of the crowd was deafening. Clearly it bore more people who were against her than with her. They were screaming and shouting her names as Bonnie’s men tried to control them from attacking her. “Whore!” “Slut!” “The curse of the Gold’s!” “How dare she enter our pure lands again!” they made sure she heard every single word coming out of their mouths. A few even dared to throw a few stones at the car. But as soon as the car’s door opened and the passengers stepped out, they all went silent. Not a single pin drop could be heard as Polly and Esmeralda stepped out of the car. Ten armed men fanned around them. “Hello familia!” she stepped out chanting loud enough for all to hear, the most wicked smile playing on her lips, “Did you miss me?” she gradually lifted her hand to her throat which bore a light love bite and the gesture made sure everyone saw the big diamond ring on her ring finger as well. They knew she did not belong to them anymore, she was His woman now and they could not mess with a Shelby.

[littlemissaddict]

Can I request an Angst to happy ending Eddie x Chrissy long fic where Chrissy and Eddie are dating and happy and Jason tries to sabotage the relationship by writing a note saying awful things about Eddie and he tells Eddie he found a note and shows it to Eddie and makes Eddie believe Chrissy wrote it. When Chrissy finds Eddie later at his locker, she calls out to him and he gives her a mean look and starts to walk away and she runs up to him and tries to hug him and he pushes her away and tells her to leave him alone and walks out the door and she’s confused why he acted that way. She knows he has a Hellfire Club meeting that evening and she decides to wait for him outside that night and when it’s over, he comes outside and when he sees her, he starts to walk away from her and she goes up to him and asks him what’s wrong and he tells her not to play dumb with him and starts yelling at her in anger and confronts her about the note and shows it to her and she starts sobbing and tries to convince him that she didn’t write it and she tells him she could never do that because she loves him and Eddie is taken aback because it’s the first time she’s told him that and when he finally realizes Jason set him up, he apologizes to Chrissy and hugs her and kisses her and tells her how sorry he is and tells her he loves her too and they end up going to his trailer and he carries her inside to his room and they show each other just how much they love each other by having their first time together?

I am so sorry this took so long, anything and everything distracted me from writing it but it's done finally.

Word Count: 3114

“So then I was thinking Friday after Hellfire we could-” Gareth was saying but Eddie stopped listening the moment he saw Jason walking down the hallway towards him, a huge smirk on his face which only meant one thing, trouble with a capital T.

“Freak, you got a minute” he leers, coming to a stop just behind Gareth and followed closely by Patrick and Andy.

Figuring that it wasn’t going to end well, he put his hand on Gareth's shoulder pulling him forwards and out of the way as he pushed past him and put himself between the younger boy and Jason. “Well, well it must be dire if you’re coming to little old me, Carver?” Eddie taunted, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the lockers, tilting his head in anticipation as to what Jason wanted.

“You could say that but it’s not my problem, it’s yours” he smirked, raising an eyebrow as the boys behind him snickered, clearly knowing what bullshit Carver was trying to sell him. Eddie remained straight faced as he listened, he learned long ago not to let bullies like Jason know what he was feeling because if they knew how much it really hurt then they would never stop but at least if the attention was deflected onto him it meant the rest of the club didn’t have to deal with it.

“Yeah, this little scrap of paper that slipped from Chrissy’s bag in History says so” he sneers, holding the neatly folded slip of paper between two fingers, right in Eddie’s face almost mockingly. Without thinking he reaches forward to rip the paper from his grasp which only makes Jason laugh, Eddie may pretend he doesn’t care but hearing Chrissy’s name fall so easily out of Jason’s mouth boils his blood and makes it hard for him to remember not to show he cares. “If I was you I’d rethink my whole relationship” he sneers, walking off and leaving Eddie alone again with Gareth.

“Hey man, I wouldn’t believe a word he says” Gareth tries to reassure his friend but Eddie’s too wrapped up in the paper in his hand. It's the same paper out of Chrissy’s notebook and it even smells like her perfume, how can it not be from her.

“Uh yeah, I’ll see you later” Eddie mumbles, brushing him off and heading straight for the doors at the end of the hall that lead into the parking lot. Once out in the bright sunshine, he heads straight for the little picnic bench in the little clearing in the woods by the school, the place where he met Chrissy way back when, the day that spiralled them to where they are now.

Dropping his backpack onto the bench next to him, he stared at the paper looking so delicate in his hands. He couldn’t help the feeling of guilt that washed over him at the thought of snooping into her stuff but what Jason had said stuck with him and there was no way he’d settle if he didn’t see what was on the paper. But then he should give it back to Chrissy, let her tell him whether he could read it or not. It was like he had a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other and it was stressing him out.

He didn’t know how long he sat there for, contemplating whether or not to open it but however long it was it was enough for him to cave as he carefully opened it up. The paper rustled against his fingers as he unfolded it but nothing could prepare him for what he was going to read. It looked like Chrissy and one of her friends were passing notes in class but the notes weren’t about school gossip, nope, they were about his and Chrissy’s relationship.

There’s not much to it but it’s all he needs to know that he’s been played and all for free weed. He can’t believe he’s been stupid enough to fall for their games and more so the fact that he’s fallen in love with her, well not her the act she’s put on for him is what he’s in love with. He should have listened to Gareth and Jeff’s worries when they first found out because of course they were just looking out for him but he was so caught up in the fact that a girl like her could like a guy like him, or so he thought.

"Hey Ed, where'd you disappear to all afternoon?" Chrissy questions, her smile dropping as her brow furrowed in confusion as she pulls away from the hug as soon as she feels his body tense in her hold. Confusion that only grew when he turned to face her as she noticed his lips set into a hard line and his jaw clenched at the sight of her.

"What do you care?" he glared, his tone sharp and his words dripping with venom as he slammed his locker shut earning a few stares from their fellow students around them.

She couldn't help but flinch at the harsh clang of metal hitting metal but it was the least of her worries right now considering her usually loving boyfriend was looking at her as if he hated her and she had no idea what she'd done wrong. "I care because I-I" she hesitated, the words 'I love you' on the tip of her tongue but yet again she couldn't bring herself to say it, too afraid he would reject her. "Because you're my boyfriend and you mean a lot to me" she tried again which only resulted in a scoff from the boy in front of her as he turned to walk away.

She followed him with tears in her eyes as he made for the parking lot and she imagined to others how much she resembled a kicked puppy following its owner, "Eddie please" she reached out to grab his arm but he pulled away from her touch.

He came to a stop just before the doors and as he turned around to face her, she could see the visible rise and fall of his chest from where he was breathing heavily which she guessed was in an attempt to calm himself down. Now she knew Eddie would never hurt her but she'd never seen this side of him before and when his eyes met hers she couldn't help but recoil at how angry he looked.

"Listen to me I'm done playing your game, I'm done being the guy you go to just to get your kicks, I'm done with all of it now leave. me. alone." he spoke through gritted teeth before he turned to walk away only sparing one last glance at her over his shoulder to make sure she wasn't following him.

It was now the end of the week and ever since their rather public break up earlier in the week, she'd had to deal with the rather persistent advances from Jason wanting to get back together now she'd 'rid herself of the freak' as he'd so vulgarly put it but she didn't want him, she wanted Eddie. She knew that he had Hellfire tonight and she was hoping to catch him before he left to go home in hopes that she could talk to him, maybe figure out what she'd done and if he still felt the same way then she would leave if that's what he wanted but at least she would have her answers so that she could move on instead of this feeling of being stuck in limbo.

It had been all too easy to sneak away from the cheerleading group as they left the gym after the game but less so Jason who seemed to be watching her every move. "You coming to the party, celebrate our win?" he'd smiled charmingly, the smile that used to cause a flutter in her chest but now only made her nauseous. She knew that he wouldn't leave until he got what he wanted so she'd smiled and promised she would, that she just had to grab something and she'd meet him there.

Thankfully it had been enough to get rid of him as she made a dash for the drama room as soon as he was out of sight, coming down the hallway just as the group were leaving. The younger kids paid no attention to her, she assumed they were still cautious of her considering how close she'd been with Jason who could make their lives hell if he chose to but when the older boys came out of the room without Eddie, they all fixed her with a glare.

"Don't you have somewhere else to be than with us freaks" Jeff spat, arms crossing against his chest and she opened her mouth to speak but he held up his hand to interrupt her, "I wouldn't bother, none of us are going to fall for your bullshit anymore, least of all Eddie" he warned, shaking his head as the three of them pushed past her and off down the hallway.

She felt the tears stinging her eyes and before she had the chance to wipe them away, the door to the drama room opened revealing Eddie who looked very surprised to see her. "I have nothing to say to you" he spoke, though there was no malice in his voice instead he seemed tired.

"I just want to talk and then I'll leave, I won't bother you anymore, I promise" she pleaded, getting her own surprise when he stepped back into the room, holding the door open for her to follow.

"Well" he said expectantly, depositing his backpack on a nearby chair as the door closed behind the two of them.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry for whatever it was I did to make you hate me, I never wanted to hurt you because I know how that feels and I would never wish it on anyone, least of all you who doesn't deserve any of it" she spoke, her hands gripping the strap of her backpack to stop them from shaking as he stared at her, unamused.

"So you still want to play this little game huh, can't even admit to my face what you did" he laughs in disbelief, shaking his head as he makes a move to grab his bag which makes her panic, thinking he's going to walk out and leave her before she can even find out what she did. Instead he reaches into the front zipped pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper, paper that looks to her exactly like the one she uses. "It doesn't matter though because I've got it right here in writing" he mocks, seemingly missing the confusion on her face.

"Eddie" she pleads, reaching over to take the paper but he pulls it out of her reach, "I don't know what that is" she begs, tears yet again welling up in her eyes.

"Let’s see, you’re using me for free weed, I have nothing to offer you and I like to play a stupid game with kids” he reads with a roll of his eyes as he looks back up at her, “Any of that ringing a bell?” he asks sarcastically.

“I didn’t write that, Eddie you have to believe me” she cries, tears flowing freely now at how heartless and unaffected Eddie seems by what is quite clearly a lie. She’d have thought after all they had been through together, all she had given up to be with him then he would believe her on this one thing.

“If you didn’t write it then why would Jason feel the need for me to have it, huh?” he deadpanned, arms now crossed against his chest as he waited for an answer, showing no sign of what he was feeling.

“He’d do anything to break us up because he wants me back, he’s been asking me all week but I don’t want him Eddie, I want you” she sobs, revealing to Eddie what he should have known all along that Jason Carver is a self entitled prick who would go to any lengths to get what he wants.

At this point Eddie is starting to realise just what a dick he’s been to her all because he let his insecurities take control, although there's still one thing he can’t work out. “That might be but it’s paper from your notebook and it smells like your perfume”

Pausing for a moment as she tries to work out how Jason could have done it but then she remembers, “Stacey” she says simply which only confuses him even more, “She asked if she could borrow paper on Monday and she wears the same perfume as me so either Jason has bribed her or she’s trying to get in his good books” she sniffs, wiping her wet cheeks with the back of her hand now her tears have lessened as he seems to be finally listening to her.

Eddie curses at her explanation, “I’ve been such an idiot believing Jason over you, I’m sorry Chrissy” he apologises, slowly moving towards her as if he was hesitant that she would reject him even after she’s gone through so much trouble just to talk to him. “And I know I don’t deserve it but do you think you could forgive me?” he asks, his voice wobbling as he does so indicating just how close he is to tears himself.

“Of course I forgive you Eddie, I love you but just talk to me next time, okay?” Her voice is soft as she reaches up to cup his face in her soft hands, unaware of the words that had just slipped from her mouth but he doesn’t miss them.

His eyes widen as her thumb brushes against his cheek, her eyes gazing up at him filled with unquestionable love and tenderness as he turns his head to kiss at the palm of her hand. “You mean that?” he asks breathlessly as she tilts her head, eyebrows furrowing in confusion until she realises what she’s just confessed.

Within seconds the confusion fades into a soft smile as she nods her head, “I do, I love you so much, I was going to tell you the other day when you asked why I cared but I didn’t, was scared you hated me” she spoke, another confession slipping past her lips as she drops his gaze as a sudden shyness fills her.

“Oh sweetheart I could never hate you, the whole reason I was so upset was because I love you and it hurt to think you were only with me as a joke or because of some ploy that your friends had put you up to” he revealed, his hand reaching out to tilt her chin up so that she was looking up at him again.

Once her wide eyes met his own gaze, he could already feel himself being drawn to her, his head dropping as his eyes flickered to her lips and back up to her eyes, silently asking for permission to kiss her. She answered by pushing up to meet him halfway, their lips meeting as if for the first time all over again as the kiss started off hesitant but soon morphed into one full of feeling as they each grasped the other, holding on as if they let go then they would disappear as if this was a dream.

Before it could go too far Eddie pulled away, a red flush spreading across his cheeks that was only matched by the one spreading across Chrissy’s cheeks. “Do you want to come back to mine?” he asked, the air around them thick with anticipation as the unspoken invitation of his words hung in the air. Eddie feared he’d overstepped when her silence was all his words were met with and he was just about to clarify that they didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to, that he just wanted to be close to her when she finally nodded her head.

The ride in the van back to Forest Hills trailer park felt like the longest journey he’d ever done, filled with a combination of nerves and excitement he finally pulled up outside of his trailer, thanking whatever god was listening that Wayne was at work at the plant tonight.

Jumping from the van as soon as it jolted to a stop, Eddie was around the front and opening Chrissy’s door before she even had the chance to herself. With a helping hand he helped her down from the van, quickly slamming the door and locking it as he swept her up bridal style in his arms which caused a surprised yelp to escape her as her world tilted and the solid earth beneath her feet disappeared.

“Eddie I can walk you don’t have to carry me” she giggled, hands tightly clasped around his neck as if she was scared that he would drop her.

“I do, I have a lot to make up for after treating you like shit all week,” he sighed, a sad smile on his face as he thought back to the way he’d treat her and he knew he’d always regret it, “the princess treatment that you deserve starts now and will never end” he promised, carefully setting her back down on her feet in front of the door of the trailer so that he could unlock it but not before he kissed her until she was dizzy.

“You know all I need is you right” she reminds him as he guides her over the threshold of the trailer, closing the door behind them as he shut out the rest of the world for the night so that he can focus all his attention on the girl in front of him, the girl he loves.

“And you have me, I’m yours forever” he says with certainty, such certainty that he’s never felt before for anything or anyone, as he guides her once again but this time it’s through the trailer to his bedroom.

The night is filled with gentle touches, soft kisses and a continued show of their affection for the other as he brings her to the edge and over it with a drawn out confession of his love. It’s the first night of many that they share with each other which makes it all the more special to them and a reminder that they’re willing to recreate anytime they forget that they will always have the other no matter what.

[kellyurban18]

Chapter Fifteen

**I cried while writing this so you might want  to be prepared for that possibility** Also anyone who suffers from childhood trauma this is a little triggering!! There is also mentions of sexual gross comments made to a minor (age 12) but it's not very detailed and it's very slight.

Harry’s heat ended the following Tuesday, the last Tuesday of April. He spent most of the day sleeping and eating and he also took a nearly two hour long bath before he felt clean again.

Wednesday he spent studying for his Magical Theory NEWT that he took on Thursday, and Friday he spent studying for his Alchemy NEWT that he took on Saturday, the last day of April. Between studying he spent time using the mirror to talk to Remus and Sirius and sometimes James.

Sunday he spent most of the day catching up on his work and drinking lots of stress relief or focusing tea to get through it. He was back at school that day finalizing his NEWT schedule as well. Every week on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays he had one NEWT to take. Which to him was a lot better than trying to fit three NEWTs in one day and trying to study and revise for all three of them at the same time.

His first NEWT of the month was Magical World Culture, followed by History of Magic, and Astronomy that Friday. All classes Harry was confident about.

After his Astronomy NEWT that Friday after lunch, Harry headed to Hogwarts to see his mates for the first time in over two weeks. Not that anyone knew he was coming, he had told them he had too much work, but it turns out Harry was getting antsy being away from his mates for so long. So he didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter and he figured he could do his work there anyway.

Harry found Remus first, he was in his classroom frowning at a piece of parchment, presumably a student essay, with his head tilted to the side.

���Don’t you teach OWL level? They can’t be that bad.” Remus looked up from the parchment and grinned at him,

“I thought you were too busy this week?”

“I said I might be too busy.” Harry said entering the office while he pulled off his messenger bag and set it on one of the tables he passed, “I have a lot of work still, but I figured I could do it here anyway. One of those things is the family project anyway so I thought James would like to help out where I will let him.”

“Ah yes, the project that started it all. How goes it?”

“A lot better than whatever you were just trying to read.” Remus chuckled, setting the paper down as Harry rounded the desk.

“I promised James I would help grade his papers since he had almost two weeks of grading mine. I now know why James is always rubbing his temples and staring at the paper as if it’s in another language.” Remus told him as he leaned back in his chair watching him.

“First years?” Harry asked, grabbing the paper and looking it over, “Ah..Hags. I wrote a phenomenal essay about Hags for my end of the year essay for my first year. Got an O on it of course.”

“Why does that not surprise me.”

“Which part? That it was phenomenal or that I got an O?”

“Both.”

“To be fair I was a ten year old in a prestigious school for rich kids who took one look at me and decided they were better than I was. I had a lot to prove.” Harry said, setting the paper down, “Any other classes today?”

“One more in…thirty minutes.”

“Where’s James?”

“Quidditch Pitch with Charlie. Last game of the year tomorrow.”

“What?” Harry asked, “No one told me that.”

“Isn’t that why you’re here?” Remus asked

“No I…I sort of…kinda…you know…missed you..a little. Not a lot. I could totally sleep just fine I just…it wasn’t even really you that I missed more like your…scents and-What?” Harry asked, noticing the small grin Remus was trying hard to hide as he stared at him.

“Harry?”

“What?” Harry asked, his tone a little snappy as he folded his arms which only made Remus smile more.

“Come here.” Remus said, holding his hands out.

“Why?”

“Just come here.”

Harry hesitated a moment, but then placed his hands in Remus’. Remus pulled him closer until Harry straddled his lap then he wrapped an arm around Harry’s waist and pulled him closer while his other hand tucked Harry into his neck.

“We missed you too.” Remus told him softly.

Harry felt his entire body relax in places he hadn’t even known were tense as he sank into Remus’ hold and wrapped his arms around his Alpha’s waist. Remus’s hand rubbed the back of his neck before traveling up to his hair where he gently combed his fingers through his hair.

“We were going to come visit you, but you sounded a little stressed, so we thought we’d wait until this coming week to see you.”

Harry didn’t say anything, He didn’t have to. Not when the silence, the scent of his mate, and the hand in his hair soothed him so easily.

***

“Moony I am all for quickies before class, but isn’t this cutting it a little close?” Sirius’ voice filtered into the family suite, Remus turned to the door to their bedroom just as Sirius opened it, his shirt half way over his head and his pants unbuttoned.

When Sirius’ shirt came off his grin fell a little when he noticed Remus was not naked or even partially undressed.

“Why are you still dressed you’re the one who asked me here.”

“Not for a quickie Sirius.” Remus said softly, “I need you to lay with Harry.”

That’s when Sirius noticed Harry curled in their bed with the covers tucked around his body and pillows surrounding him. He also had Remus’ outer robe that he had been wearing earlier today peeking out from under the covers clearly on top of him.

“Well that should have been mentioned before I worked myself up to half mast.” Sirius said buttoning his pants again, Remus just shook his head.

“Just get in the bed with him. I have class in five minutes and I don’t have time to worry about you and your state of arousal.”

“Did he come just to sleep in our bed or something?” Sirius said as he walked to the bed and moved the covers back so he could lay beside him.

“No.” Remus said with a soft smirk, “he sort of..kinda..you know…missed us.” Sirius stared at him before a small smile broke across his face.

“He said that?”

“Those exact words. There were others involved after it, but that was it.”

“Sorry I missed it sounds like it was rather cute.”

“I definitely thought it was. I’ll be back after my class.”

“We’ll be here.” Sirius told him, wrapping his arm around Harry, “Have fun teaching.” He said smugly

“I could have kept him in my office to myself, you know. I didn’t have to share him with you and let you skip out on the mountains of papers you still have left to grade or the next month of lesson plans you still have to write for test prep.”

Sirius’ tongue poking out at him was the only response Sirius gave his husband before he left to go to his class.

***

After classes were finished Remus found Charlie with James still outside, but they were heading back to the castle.

“Hey Remus, you need me for something?” James asked

“No, I actually need Charlie.”

“Me? Why?” Charlie asked, looking up at Remus.

“Why did you lie about talking to Harry?” Remus asked folding his arms, James’ eyebrows rose as turned to Charlie.

“You what?”

“I- how did you find out?”

“It came up when I was talking to him earlier today. He had no knowledge of your game being tomorrow.” Charlie shifted, shrugging lightly as he chewed his lip, “Charlie did you not want Harry here or something?”

“It’s not that.” Charlie spoke softly

“What is it?” James asked

“Nothing.”

“First you didn’t come around often when Harry was here for two weeks, then you asked me to tell you when he left, and now you lied about talking to him.” James listed, “Charlie clearly something is going on.”

“No, nothing is wrong. I just…I didn’t talk to him.”

“Did he not answer?” Charlie rolled his eyes, a clear sign he was done with the conversation and didn’t want to talk about it anymore, “Charlie-”

“We’re fine, Dad, okay? Nothing is wrong. We’re not fighting or arguing or anything like that. I just- We’re fine.” Charlie said before he was walking away from them heading inside the castle, they watched him until he was out of sight then looked to one another.

“What do you think is going on?” Remus asked

“Do you….do you think Harry told Charlie not to talk to Lily or something like that?” James asked hesitantly, Remus pulled his eyebrows together, but shook his head.

“No. I don’t think Harry would do something like that. Why do you?”

“No but that’s the only thing I can think of. When Harry left I told Charlie like he wanted me to and when I asked him why he needed to know he said it was because he wanted to talk to Lily. I thought it was odd at the time, but didn’t question it all that much, but now this?”

“I don’t think Harry would do that.” Remus repeated, shaking his head, “He hasn’t even said anything bad about her to us, hell honestly he hasn’t talked much about anything private or personal to us. Sirius mentioned he talked a little bit about Matteo when I was in my Rut, but other than that…nothing really personal.”

“I’m sure once he is done with twenty classes that’ll be different. His brain is probably at capacity.”

“Yeah…maybe.” Remus said with a frown, “Anyway I don’t think Harry said something like that. Has to be something else.”

“Yeah I’m sure you're right.” James said, “When did you talk to Harry?”

“Before my last class of the day. He came to the classroom, we talked a bit, then I took him to the family room before teaching. He’s with Sirius right now.”

“Harry’s here?” James asked excitedly, Remus laughed nodding, “Why didn’t you lead with that?!” James shouted as he ran inside the castle.

Remus could practically hear Minerva’s voice yelling at James about running in the corridors in his head. First she would yell his name followed by the signature ‘no running in the corridors’ line. Then she would probably hit him with something before reprimanding him and-

“YOU ARE 37 YEARS OLD JAMES!”

It was not in his head.

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose as he headed to the yelling, James was smiling sheepishly as Minerva glared at him.

“I’ve got him Minerva.” Remus said, coming up to them and grabbing James’ arm.

“Good. Setting a bad example and acting like a child and-” Remus nodded to the rant he knew by heart at this point, pulling James with him all the way to the family suite stopping outside of the portrait.

“Well?” Remus said, eyebrow arched as he looked at James.

“I’m sorry I got yelled at by Minnie.” James said

“And?”

“I’m sorry I ran in the corridors.”

“While?”

“While students were around.”

“What else?”

“I won’t do it again.” James mumbled

“And?”

“Really?”

“AND?”

“And I will buy you chocolate for getting me out of a lecture.”

“Good you may enter.” James brightened as he hurried into the family room finding Harry laying on the floor of the sitting area looking down at his novel, a parchment beside him taking notes.

“Harry!” James greeted cheerfully, the teen looked up wide eyed before relaxing when he noticed it was only them.

“Hey.” Harry said softly, “Are sure it’s not cheating having not only a parent, but an ex quidditch captain teaching the new quidditch captain their old tricks the day before the big game?” He asked

“I wasn’t teaching him anything, I was supervising and telling him where he could improve on some of the tricks he learned over the summer before he was Quidditch Captain.” James said as if he had practiced it in case it ever came up.

“Don’t try it Harry, James is prepared for every argument about this there is. He and Sirius went back and forth on it the summer before we started teaching here.” Remus said

“Oh yeah? Well I haven’t lost a debate in debate club since fourth year.” Harry said pushing himself up to sit in a kneeling position

“You’re in a debate club?” James asked

“Occasionally. It interferes with some of my other clubs so I only go there when I’m in the mood to argue.”

“That…does not surprise me actually.” James said, shaking his head, “How do you have so many hours in your week to do these things? You don’t have a time turner do you?”

“I have excellent time management skills and before recently I’ve always been ahead in my classes. Don’t forget I’m first chair.”

“You’ve lost me.” James said shaking his head

“You know…first chair.” James shook his head, looked at Remus who shrugged as he waited for the kettle to heat up, “..first…chair.” Harry said again looking between them.

“What's first chair?”

“For graduation.”

“Oh you mean first name called?”

“No first chair. I’m first chair. I- there’s no- you don’t have first chair?”

“I don’t know what first chair is.” James said desperately

“It’s you know the first chair. The…okay let me-hold on.” Harry was flustered as he stood up, going to his bag and opening it pulling out a handful of envelopes. Flipping through them before he suddenly pulled one from the stack and handed it to James, setting the others on the coffee table.

“Ooh it has my name in fancy lettering and ink.” James said

“It’s called calligraphy.” Harry said looking at James with concern, “And the Ink is blue with gold glitter for the family colors.” Harry spoke slowly, as if he were talking to a child, reminding them that oxygen was in fact required.

“I know what calligraphy is.” James said

“..right. Anyway.” Harry said, giving James one more look before shaking his head, “Open it so I can show you the map.”

“What is it?” James asked

“Just open it.” Harry said, James stared for a moment then shrugged.

He turned the envelope over to open it and pulled out three separate cards, all of them various color schemes of the school colors. Before James could get a proper look Harry took them and grabbed the last card in the pile.

“Okay so this is the seating arrangement for the ceremony. These three chairs in front of the three rows of five? Those are First, Second, and Third chairs. The top three students of the graduating class. I am first chair so I am sitting on the left side. So for the best view of me you want to sit there. We are called last. After we are called the families will be dismissed to their seats then I, as first chair, will lead the class into the Ceremony Hall where the tables will be set up for a late breakfast or early lunch whichever we want to order. Then from then on it’ll be like a buffet style for lunch and dinner and the rest of the day is spent with professors or scouts or whatever.” Harry explained pointing to the ‘x’s for chairs and the following the line that led to a rectangular labeled ‘ceremony hall’ inside the school.

“This is an invite to your graduation?” James asked with a smile as he grabbed the other invites and looked at it, “You are invited to the graduation of The Class of 1996 of Kreasiara Institute.” James aloud

“Yeah well��I figured you wouldn’t want to miss it.” Harry said with a shrug, folding his arms across his chest.

“Don’t mind him James, Harry has a problem with showing vulnerable emotions.” Remus cut in as he carried three mugs of steaming tea to them, setting one on the coffee table and handing the other to Harry.

“Excuse you, no I don’t.” Harry said

“Kinda..sort of..you know. Ring a bell?” Remus asked, Harry bit his lip as he turned away from his mate making Remus chuckle.

“How many of these do you have?” James grabbed for the pile, but Harry picked them up before he could.

“Everyone gets ten.” Harry said, “I have names on most of them. Like these two are Sirius and Remus.” Harry said handing the two to Remus, “These two are for Charlie and Ariel, you need an invite to get in so that’s why you get yours separately. This one is Uncle Frankie’s, this is Papa’s.”

“What about your mother?” James asked

“I’m already going to have one parent not show up, I’d rather not have two.” Harry said

“Harry, she wouldn’t miss this.”

“Then I don’t want her to cause a scene when she shows up forty minutes late and they’re calling names.”

“Harry I’m not saying you have to, but just consider it.” Harry pressed his lips together then sighed and pulled out an envelope and handed it to James with Lily’s name on it though it was her maiden name not her married name.

“She hasn't changed her name yet.

“Well maybe she’ll get the hint and get a move on it.”

“Fine. I promise I will only give it to her if she promises to show up okay?” James told him as he set both invites down on the table and looked at Harry who didn’t look at him.

“Early or at the very least on time.”

“Look I know what she did was wrong, okay? But maybe consider how the way you treat her may affect how Charlie or Ariel treat her or feel with all of us in the same room.” James said gently

“What-”

“You have an invite for Matteo don’t you?”

“Do not compare them.” Harry said lowly, turning to James with a cold stare.

“How many times has he not shown up for plans or not responded to your owls or-”

“It’s different.”

“No it is not, Harry. Lily isn’t a horrible mother, she loves her kids, she loves you, she’s just having a hard time right now and she doesn’t know how to deal with it. You were stolen from us, we didn’t have a choice or an option, you were stolen when your mother and I were unconscious from Voldemort. We didn’t just up and leave you voluntarily. We searched for you for years.” James stressed.

Harry clenched his jaw as he turned to look at the fireplace so he didn’t have to look at James as his eyes involuntarily teared up. He kept the tears from falling through by pure stubbornness as James continued.

“Lily decided the best way to cope was to grieve you, to declare you dead so she could have a place to mourn you. A place to remember you. Matteo knows exactly where you are and how to contact you. Matteo left you willingly. Yet you still reach out to him. You still give him the ability to hurt you and disappoint you yet Lily does it once and you’re suddenly ready to cut her out of your life? Permanently? It’s not fair to her and it’s not fair to Charlie and Ariel.”

“It’s different.” Harry repeated

“How?”

“It just is.” Harry said

“How? How is Matteo leaving you, just leaving a few weeks or months after something life changing happened to you different? Actually I know how it’s different because it’s worse than not showing up for lunch which was pretty shitty I will admit, but Matteo didn’t show up for Yule!” James’ voice rose, “It’s been almost four years since you last seen him, four years of no response from him and yet you still reach out to him-”

“BECAUSE I'M THE REASON HE LEFT!” Harry shouted, turning to James with tears in his eyes. A door opened and closed somewhere but neither turned to see if it was Remus leaving or Sirius coming out.

“Harry you are not-”

“Yes I am. I’m not stupid James. I connected the dots pretty early on.” Harry snapped, “You don’t think I didn’t notice the shift?! The change of tone, the way his comments changed, the way he stopped suddenly smiling at me and telling me he was proud of me!”

“That doesn’t mean-”

“You weren’t there!” Harry yelled, “You weren’t there when Papa thought he was fixing the problem by leaving me alone with him for weeks at a time and all I got was silence! You were there when I begged him to play with me on a broom like we used to do and he would leave the house! I was 12 years old just wanting my dad back and he didn’t want me anymore!”

Harry’s tears finally started falling despite his best efforts.

“You weren’t there when I told my parents about my first boy crush and his face just fell because I was gay too! You were there when he started making comments about me adjusting on a broom! You weren’t there when he made sly comments about my broom grip and if I was practicing for the real thing! You weren’t there when at fucking thirteen years old I woke up in a fucking panic and Frankie told us I was an Omega and his face went from worry to HATE! He hated me! Any love he had for me vanished that day! Those comments just got worse! He wanted to pull me out of school because I was nothing more than an incubator and house wife! You were there when the only dad I ever knew became a fucking stranger and made me into his little servant whenever Papa was gone!”

“Harry-”

“I dropped quidditch! I added extra classes! I did everything I could and all he saw was a few bad grades! I worked my ass off every semester for fucking three years, never getting anything less than an E so I could send him my grade averages and so he could come back into my life and tell me I was more than just an Omega AND IT DIDN”T WORK!”

No one spoke, but the room was deafening.

“It didn’t work.” Harry said softly before he was breaking as he stepped into James’ arms clinging to him, “Why didn’t it work?” Harry asked, shoulders shaking as he sobbed into James’ chest.

James held his son so tight he was afraid it would bruise, but at the moment he didn’t care. It felt like his arms were the only thing keeping his son up, keeping his son from breaking for a man who didn’t deserve that power over him. With Harry’s anger gone, the picture frames and the few glassware they had in the cupboards had stopped shaking. The magic that had suffocated the room has disappeared too, not that they thought Harry had even known his magic had been so out of control or that the small stone necklace around his neck had emitted a glow indicating it was trying to dampen the uncontrollable power coming from the emotional powerful teen.

!!THE NEXT CHAPTER FOLLOWS DIRECTLY AFTER THIS ONE SO THAT US WHY IT ENDS THE WAY IT DOES ALSO I AM SO SORRY FOR ANYONE WHO MAY HAVE CRIED!!

[monstrousroommates]

Unsolved (Monster AU fic)

In honor of their new ghost hunting show, I decided to watch some Buzzfeed Unsolved.

Virgil and Thomas like watching creepy videos together in the middle of the night. what do a ghost and a vampire have to be afraid of anyway? (on AO3)

“I can't believe I missed this.” Thomas grumbled, folding up and leaning towards the computer screen.

“Well,” Virgil said, quirking a smile. “You were a little dead at the time.” 

“Arrgh,” Thomas drifted a little closer to where Virgil was curled up on his bed with a blanket over his head. It was oddly touching that Thomas would watch this stuff with him. None of the others really liked conspiracy theories or, frankly, tales of hauntings.

Logan would sometimes watch true crime with him, but he generally found most youtubers too dramatic and not diligent enough in their research. He had in fact pointed out a couple of episodes where while it was reportedly an ‘unsolved mystery’ the mystery had been solved, but wasn’t as interesting as the story, so people kept calling it an unsolved mystery. In that ‘I’m being logical and calm but I’m very cranky about this’ voice that sometimes came before him actually shouting. Better to let him watch the history channel with Roman,(where they both seemed to love yelling at the show like it was a baseball game) and watch something else with Logan.

Patton sort of would watch conspiracy and ghost shows but would generally end up entirely under the blanket with his paws over his nose, especially since they’d moved into the house. There was a huge difference between ‘what if?’ and ‘But what if!?’ and Patton crossed that line. 

Thomas however had drifted into the room with a creek of the door and settled in as a draft. Virgil had noticed at the time but by the time Thomas had said ‘no, I wanna see the one with the clickbait icon!’ Virgil had so thoroughly forgotten Thomas was there that he jumped a mile, sending his blanket, snacks and to a lesser extent, laptop flying in all directions. 

After that, and Thomas trying unsuccessfully to talk Virgil off the ceiling they started to watch them together, as long as Thomas managed to stay at least partly visible.. 

Virgil had a list of favorite shows he didn’t mind re-watching, since Thomas had missed a lot of media. They’d quickly settled into heckling at the show, even when they kind of heckled themselves. There were so many amateur ghost hunters on youtube. 

Thomas was not always particularly impressed. 

“Oh wow, I hate that thing.” Thomas grumbled, poking at the screen, and glitching it slightly. The spirit box did nothing. “Whoops sorry.” 

“I’m sure they agree with you.”

“And they’re totally going too fast.”

“Uh huh.”

“No really!” This time Thomas’ voice came through the laptop's speaker, and Virgil made a waving motion like he was wafting smoke away from something. Thomas disappeared and reappeared sitting on the headboard of Virgil’s bed. “Trying to touch anything is like moving half asleep, half frozen and wearing oven mitts. They’re like ‘do the thing’ and move on before a ghost would have a chance. Well.” he paused and made a face, flickering a little. “Before I’d be able to do something, before.”

“Right, tell you what, we’ll finish up this episode and we’ll write them.” Virgil hit pause and waved his hand in the air again, red vine flopping about. “Dear Buzzfeed unsolved, my ghostly roommate- you may remember him, the Storytime guy from Vine?” 

Thomas groaned and knocked his head into the wall, producing a faint but audible thump. Virgil loved to tease him about Vine. 

“Yeah, he says your technique sucks. Why not come over and he’ll say hi? No antagonizing needed.” He stuck one end of the candy in his mouth and started chomping.

“Yeah, that’d go over well.” Thomas batted at the touchpad, a couple of swipes needed before it registered and the video started again. “I’m hardly an unsolved mystery or famous haunted site.” 

“Yeah, but the connection on the internet- Here let me call up my favorite vine compilations.”

“I will haunt your bones.” Thomas muttered. 

“Well, my bones are in me, so-” 

“Okay, I will make your onesie stand up in a corner in the middle of the night just to startle you.” 

Virgil just laughed. 

“Thomas, the last time you tried to spook us on purpose, you caught yourself in the mirror and got yourself. But you know, the scream was kinda scary.” 

“You were plenty scared before you knew I was there.” Thomas sulked. 

“I guess that makes this mystery- Solved.” Virgil teased. He frowned. “Though there is a lot we don’t know, I guess. So Unsolved. Schrodinger solution.”

Thomas was quiet. Virgil glanced around and remembered the unspoken rule- they didn’t talk about Thomas’ actual death. It was an understood thing. If Thomas thought too hard around his death, he got… staticy was the best way Virgil could describe it. Fuzzy at the edges and a little unaware. 

As ‘interesting’ as it was to wake up and find things moved- usually in a vaguely organized fashion, though sometimes the dishes in the sink were stacked in a dangerous haphazard way, and books weren’t always sorted by size before being stacked on the nearest flat surface- they’d all decided they liked it better when Thomas acted more like a person. At least then if they found the dirty laundry strewn around the living room, they had to ask if it was Patton or Thomas. 

Virgil couldn’t spot him, and his sensitive ears started straining for any sound. The bubbling of the pipes, Patton’s snore down the hallway, the faint ticky electric sound that came from his laptop. 

“Thomas?” Virgil called quietly. He winced, there were times when horror tropes happened on their own because it was the natural thing to do, and he hated it. It grated on his nerves. The air conditioner whirred to life, and Thomas was nowhere to be seen. 

Just as Virgil was reaching out to close the laptop, the door to the room creaked and Thomas drifted through the half-open door. 

“Sorry.” His voice was a bit staticky, coming more from the laptop’s speakers than his visible body. “Got sucked back down. Drowning in place in the living room.” He sighed.

“No that’s cool.” Virgil reassured the ghost, even though it was a little less than cool. He was still a bit freaked out, even though Thomas had described being pulled between different place in the house.  He settled into a vague shape on the pillow next to Virgil, barely disturbing the bed. 

“So, the spirit box sucks, they should have hired you; let’s finish the episode.”

Virgil gave a laugh, settling the laptop back in place. 

“Can you imagine that? ‘We didn’t find any evidence of ghosts, but this vampire helped us improve our equipment.”

Thomas did a pretty good impression of Shane

“Except Vampires don’t exist.” 

“Right, important detail, forgot about that. Demons and ghosts and crazy people but no vampires or werewolves.” 

Their giggles faded off as they went back to watching. 

Virgil wished that he knew more about what caused that to happen, but for now… well. He just had to leave that unanswered.

[aeternals]

WRENCH.

remy nolan mazza ( aka. wrench )

march 17

27+

oakland, ca

brown eyes

brown hair ( shaggy )

6'4"

panromantic pansexual

cyber hacker

FAMILY.

father: ryan campbell mazza

mother: nicole brigid mazza

siblings: none

HISTORY.

NOTE: triggers for death, violence, drug mentions

remy grew up near the water in oakland, ca to a veteran combat engineer and a music teacher. an unlikely duo on paper but together it was easy to see how it worked. before remy was born his father joined one of the local motorcycle clubs. the rebel city riders. so, he grew up knowing a different definition to the word ‘ family. ‘ but, not even that stopped people from making fun of the giant target on his head; a wine colored birthmark above his left eye. remy felt like that was all anyone saw. just a walking stain. other kids at school made fun of him for it and adults would always comment on it. he hated people looking at his face and quickly started pulling up the hood on his sweatshirts at every opportunity. whenever possible, he shied away from social events in favor of staying alone in his room.

being alone helped two fold. one, it kept his face away from the people who would make fun of it. and, two, it kept him away from his father as much as possible. there were nights when the older man would swing a fist in his direction. sometimes two. there’d be yelling. screaming. on some of these occasions the culprit was alcohol. others were simply due to stress caused by club actions that remy had no way of knowing about. the worst was when he thought his father was scared. those were always the most violent nights.

secluding himself led to curiosity. it was there that remy discovered a love for all things computers. several were built with pieces scavanged from around the city before he had the desire to take them apart again. from there, he wanted to know what made them tick. interest in hardware turned into interest in software. before long, remy was building and writing code for his own little robots. little things. the commands weren’t very complicated but they opened a door. he learned to create the world around him rather than stepping out into the real one. in his junior year of high school the persona of “ the wrench ‘ was created, complete with the first incarnation of his mask. at first it was a practical way to keep his face hidden. he might’ve been young but he also didn’t want to incur his father’s wrath.

the mask’s first incarnation was simple black molded leather used in combination of his hood to keep the tell-tale birth mark shadowed. as he learned more about computers and programming over the years it slowly evolved into the mechanical emote generator we come to know.

remy found his calling when his desire to learn more about programming unveiled information about hacking. it started small; the president’s home computer to check out information his father wouldn’t tell him about the club. although, that opened a door he could never unsee. bank statements, demolitions inventory, electronic missives between various members and a number of outside sources. the hack confirmed to remy that the rcr made their money through the sale of drugs and firearms. what he didn’t find was the answer to why his father seemed to hate him so much.

from there it was school to mess with his grades. when none of that resulted in someone looking his way, remy started to branch out to local businesses. several times he messed with social media platforms, specifically with political figures he thought to be liars. anyone he didn’t agree with who had a larger public platform.

he accepted a scholarship to the university of san francisco for their engineering program. it got him away from home, the violence, the screaming, and everything that came along with being around a group like those his father associated with. it was there that he met sitara. given the age difference, they didn’t share any classes but they shared an aesthetic, which opened the door to other conversation. over time they started sharing computer stories. sitara would mention her desire to build a brand while also helping the world wake up to everything going on around them. with a considerable online following already, wrench was more than happy for an avenue to cause more destruction.

at nineteen, he got a call from one of his “friends” back home. she was the daughter of another club member and, oddly enough, one of the kids who gave him the most grief for his birthmark. while she tried to apologize for that the words were overshadowed by the news that his parents were dead. mysterious explosion, she said. understandable considering his father handled everything the club needed to go boom, she said. part of him agreed. as soon as he was old enough to understand the life they led he also understood that there was only way out. didn’t make it any easier to process. what frustrated him even more was the fact that he felt sad. the man who’d put him on his knees so often as a child and the woman who could only stand by as it all happened. remy felt sadness at their loss. it pissed him off. he never asked for those feelings. all his life he thought this day would bring a sense of freedom.

[darkobssessionspoetry]

February 7th, 2023

Part I

These ruts Got guts to live in the trenches and still throw punches I’m suprised by the ever decreasing sense year after year And when I found out grey matter decreases with episodes Now I wonder what learning does for me If there are clusters of expansive universes in my ganglia rimmed by absolutely nothing Places of no memory, no associations, no dreams Words I can’t pull up when I need them, feelings that used to be Neuroplasticity and all its glory Can’t seem to make the distress symptoms less, the splitting better The seeing things when they are not there go away I’m wired for paranoia, what does it matter if I get up in the morning? Just lifted some weights in a dissociated state, made some breakfast while screaming on the inside Finished breakfast at 3 pm, can’t crack this day thing Can’t get my head to be calm when I lay me down to sleep These aren’t habits anymore They are megaliths Rock formations dragged up from the deep and worked to absorb and reflect maxiumum capacity of pai Tonal memory won’t change this, therapy won’t make this existential dread less You’re telling me that I can go to someone and say I am utterly unreal, I do not exist, you can read the thoughts in my head, I think about death a lot, I have special powers, I believe in an afterlife, the gods speak through me, the universe is magical, we are consciousness experiencing itself, and I didn’t get out of bed today And they would say, keep your job Get up tomorrow and be around people Have a meal, your stomach needs it and not YOU NEED HELP, here is a phone number to call so we come and LOCK YOU UP I’m just coming down after a nice respite gritting my teeth and having energy at inapproriate times, wanting to make comments and instead laughing Typing thousands of words for fun I think I lost a few friends this last episode I waited 48 hours to my supposed partner to get back to me upon going to a party And he didn’t and my resolve snapped I went from manic and ready to mingle To existential collapse at a million miles a minute, eyes making tears, chest heaving under rocks Naked in bed not getting dressed after a shower, attack of the titans, I am the titans, I am long lost giants that live inside these confines Something not quite right, too large, too much I say over and over again, don’t treat me like this, and I stay I already struggle to make sense of reality I don’t need your excuses

Part II

It’s not good for my health when you say it’s your anxiety, your lack of executive dysfunction that makes you do me like that Just a text my dude, just a text You can do consent but not signpost my way out of hell, I get it But when did I consent to not be understood by literally anyone around me? When did I consent to be an exhibit? When am I and what am I that I come alive in front of a classroom but I have painted notions of doom before noon? What am I using to travel between these islands of rich biodiversity? Am I on death’s vessel like the six of swords, rowing over misty waters Always leaving, always looking back, but always moving forwards My writing doesn’t even make sense anymore I am a knot, a boiling rage, a crinkled algae caught on a spiny plant at the boundary of sweet and salt I am crying for homeland and I am without home I am sirens of rage and seduction, making myself known But the rest of that story is misery, it’s more questions than answers You drown, or I go back to my murky waters I am a disembodided, in between body, a state, a shape I am not making sense And the more I delve the more I find pearls in between the folds of my chaffed skin, sand in wounds, wounds I never saw coming Am I history? I happened before, I was alive then I was there when the shell fire of their voices and the daily gripe was a thing We watched news for a steady diet of terror and all I was was eyes I don’t remember talking Did I exist? I am here now and I don’t have a home, only places where I can be lonely It’s sad you don’t know me no matter how much I speak I could be speaking in tongues I could be invisible I could text a crisis line and not get a response for six hours Looks like my bright future, do I lie or nah at the upcoming assessment? How much is too much? I can hear the invisible tracks of time between us and the weeping of sea creatures, feel the slushiness of my blood, like a half defrosted drink I can tell you my beliefs I can show up pretending I can be anyone and no one I can tell you how much I disdain…it all I’m a walking manual on how not to exist, except I do What are the empty places in between my islands again? Why am I fading if I never even lived?

[cfmblog2022]

Wiki 6

Talking ink 

Exercise one: 

The document looks old and broken. It's not been taken care of. Very distinctive shape. Been folded and crinkled. Not how founding documents should be treated. The writing is very nice and even, could have made lines on the page before writing. 

Exercise two:

Whakaputangaprovided Moari with protection from the king of England and acknowledgment that Aoeteroa was an independent county. 

Article one Sovereignty vs Kawanatanga For the crown, it meant they could make laws for everyone in New Zealand but for Maori, it meant the crown could make laws for pakeha to protect Maori. 

Article two possession vs tino rangatiratanga. For the crown, it meant Maori will possess their land for as long as they want, for Moari it meant they would have authority over their land unless they sell it. 

Task 1: In her book The Treaty of Waitangi (1987), Dame Claudia Orange says of the history leading up to the signing of the Treaty, 1830-1840: “No longer were they [British government] considering a Māori New Zealand in which a place had to be found for British intruders, but a settler New Zealand in which a place had to be found for the Māori.”

Provocations: As makers, can we assume to be working in a negotiated cultural space? Will this notion of 'negotiation' be viewed the same for Māori and non-Māori?

I don't think we can ever assume anything, especially as makers. Making and creating is such an emotion-based activity especially when we place it in such as historically rich and troubled place as Aotearoa. As a pakeha, I don't assume to know what Maori think and feel about certain issues and ideas. Especially when we are talking about the idea of negotiation. When a group has historically been deceived in negotiation with such dier consequences it creates generation trauma. This makes me believe there will be a difference in the notion of negotiation between Maori and non-Maori. We as humans learn from and take ideas from past events and knowledge from elders. If the ideas and knowledge of negotiation are being told by a group who have been tricked and let down their future generations will have negative connotations with negotiation. 

Being born in Aotearoa and growing up here I think it's always been in the back of my mind, how my ancestors treated people. I think this statement is really interesting as it gives another perspective and understanding of the treaty. I think we should keep the treaty of Waitangi and te Tiriti o Waitangi because of the vast difference between the two documents. We as a country need to see and understand these differences whether they were mistranslated maliciously or not. The British came and took over and made decisions without even being in the country or talking to the people. This is one of the main reasons I think could contribute to the mistrust a lot of Maori have in the notion of negotiation. 

Task 2: Note 

The crown broke the treaty within two mounts of its signing 

The foundational document of law making in this country 

Again in 1840, the crown made a direct promise to rangatira which only a month later was undermined by a crown statement saying the north island rangatira had ceded their sovereignty 

This was a twisting of the horribly mistranslated documents of the treaty and the Tiriti

Maori never gave up their mana (sovereignty)

A constitution must serve all the hope values of the people of the land 

National Iwi chairs asked for a constitution

The crown only acknowledged the English treaty which rangatira did not sign or agree to

Oral tradition conflicts with the written history 

Written is the history in the eyes of the European 

Spoken is the richer and more nuanced history passed down in Maori culture 

Tribunal created a clear and written version of this spoken tradition and knowledge especially related to the treaty 

Ngaphui did not cede their sovereignty 

British attitudes at the time were

Respect for others' land

But wrongly assumed that the world was theirs for the taking

Based on racist ideals to ‘improve’ country’s 

Importance of disproving these old British beliefs 

They were common law and ethics and many other things already in Maori society before the British colonised Aoetraroa

True motives of colonisation were making money and gaining power not forming relationships and gaining knowledge 

Racism is the attitudinal or ideological phenomenon that accepts racial superiority

Three types of racism = are institutional, interpersonal and internalised. 

Institunilased racism is the most powerful and destructive 

What the treaty and following actions can be put under 

Racism is a pakeha problem 

Pakeha have mastered selective amnesia to forget vast chunks of history related to racism towards the Maori population

Racism in NZ is strongly to do with the colonial context and power

Treaty settlements are often not enough to heal generational trauma

Why binding findings are important to move forward 

We need to break down the myths of colonisation in this country to move forward 

Pakeha need to learn to accept and acknowledge their and their ancestor's part in it all

[chiwhorei]

𝐂𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 (𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝)

𝐚𝐤𝐚: 𝐌𝐲 𝐏𝐑𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐎 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐬!!

pairing: t. amajiki x fem!reader

genre: smut, 18+ mdni

word count: ~1.3k

tags: pervy!tamaki, mean!tamaki, dubcon, degradation, voyeurism, masturbation, tentacles in all of readers holes, dacryphilia, choking

a/n: this is my very late contribution to the whorehouse porn compilation, the rest of this questionable browser history can be found here! strap in because this might be the grossest shit i’ve written so far. no plot, porn is the point here friends.

(cross posted to Ao3!)

hymn: gooey by the glass animals

The first time was an accident, genuinely.

He meant to text you he would be home early, ever the courteous roommate, but it truly just slipped his mind. Surprise would be an understatement when he swings the front door open to the high pitched whines coming from your bedroom.

Curiosity piquing, Tamaki lines his shoes up by the door and follows the noise. He can see the outline of light seeping through your open door and hears another round of cries. 

“Hey, are you ok--” His words flop lifelessly on the floor in front of him. Oh.

Oh.

His eyes trail up from the end of your bed. The open laptop propped in between your legs, the bottle of lube sitting next to your knee, your bare thighs and--

“Do you like what you see, Suneater?”

Tamaki flushes, heat starting at the bridge of his nose and spreading across every inch of skin. He should really say something, or better yet, close your fucking door and do the rest of his processing on the other side. 

He can’t seem to do anything but stand and stare at the dripping wet toy still being pumping in and out of your cunt. It seems to have completely hypnotized him, watching the way the silicone disappears in between your slick folds, he swears he can see the quiver.

“What do you think about my toy?” Purple and oblong, you pull it all the way out. Tamaki’s stare burns right into the suction cup ridges and slim, curved tip. You drag it in a wet line up your skin, meeting your lips with a pout. 

“I picked this one out with you in mind.”

* * *

First time, shame on you.

That’s what they say, but Tamaki finds himself pressing against your doorframe and peering into your room for the 3rd time this week. His feet pull him here like a nasty habit, the crack in your door is far too welcoming. 

You left it open just for him.

Tamaki’s ears twitch, forehead tacky with sweat as he presses against the frame. Every time he finds himself in this very same position, shame trickles down his spine like poison.

Every inch of your skin is exposed to his stare. Looking upon you is invasive and slimy and wrong but fuck, with every movement of your toy, pumping in tandem with the hand around his painfully hard cock, the more each stolen glance feels intravenous. Tamaki is addicted. 

All he wants to do is touch you. Wrap you in his hold and explore every inch. He wants to know what your skin feels like. 

What does your hair smell like up close? He’s only ever been privy to the occasional carryover of strawberry as you walk by him in the kitchen. How do your moans feel vibrating just above his mouth? Would you cry out for him to stop or to keep going?

He’s never stepped closer than the line between carpet and hardwood, but that's really only a technicality. 

You feel it, foreign but unmistakable. The touch of something crawling up your leg, soft and sticky. It wraps around your leg, crawling upwards in salacious vines. Your voice rings in Tamaki’s ears. He repeats every syllable like prayer, his invitation.

“I picked this one out with you in mind.”

There’s no movement to stop him, you don’t scream or tell him to fuck off. Your body seems to welcome him, back arching as five quirked fingers wrap around your arms and hips. The popping of suction cups trail from your belly button, dragging against your breasts before you feel pressure at your neck. Your skin will be covered in round bruises in the morning. The kindling in Tamaki’s stomach feels more like a wildfire, shy demeanor melting away. The man in front of you isn’t going to waste any more time hesitating.  

“You’re such a little tease. You like fucking with me don’t you, princess?” Tamaki’s question is sneering, his tone cold and unfamiliar.

The tentacle wrapping around your neck squeezes tight enough to make you gasp, he doesn’t waste the opportunity.

He doesn’t really want you to answer him.

As soon as your lips part, your mouth is invaded. The tendril reaches all the way to the back of your throat before it lets up, your jaw already hurting at the stretch. Your vision blurs, the taste of briny-sweet flesh mixes with the salty tears running down your face.

You’re given only a moment to sputter, catching your breath before it’s taken away again, the squeals and cries bubbling in your throat are wasted energy.

“Always leaving your door open, teasing me. I’m not playing your games anymore.” Tamaki’s voice is unwavering, he’s serious.

You wail around the rubbery texture as another tentacle wraps around your breasts, suctioning on the sensitive peaks of your nipples. Tamaki moves closer with each sound he can pull from you, finally breaching the last shreds of privacy and shuffling across the carpet. All five fingers on his right hand are busy probing parts of your pliant body and restraining others. Through the haze you can’t deny how dexterous he is while making a mess of you. 

It would be impressive if you could think straight.

Each arm and leg is caught in the reddish-purple web, writhing against his hold only makes Tamaki’s grip tighter.

“I could do anything to this sweet little body, what could you do to stop me?” His words should scare you, but only one thing runs through your foggy head. 

“Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop.”

If you could, the scream pressed against your makeshift gag would definitely alert your neighbors to the depravity just a wall away. You feel attention turning to the toy still plugging your weeping hole, a tentacle wrapping around the base and pulling it free with a squelch. From the corner of your eye, you catch the shiny plastic as it’s thrown to the other side of the room, hitting your wall with a hollow thud.

The tip of one tentacle prods at your clit for good measure before poking inside. Fear runs through your blood, cooling when mixed with overwhelming pleasure. Tamaki can reach places you’ve never felt before.

“So tight, so fucking warm.” Tamaki can feel you with each clench of your pussy, sliding in until he can feel tight band of your cervix. He could ruin you if he wanted, he ventures to guess you would let him.

You’re crying in long, fat streaks around the apples of your cheeks. With the help of another set of weaponized fingers, your legs are spread further and pushed to your chest. Tamaki’s cock aches, now ignored in favor of manipulating your body into a new angle so your ass is propped up. Muscles tense as he swipes the tip of his tentacle to trace around your rigid ring of muscle.

“I’ll take every one of these slutty little holes. You’ll feel me on your skin for days.” He promises you, pushing past your resistant muscles, they’re no match.

Your head is swimming now, logic is replaced with the feeling of being so full.

Stimulation assaults your senses from every direction, Tamaki fucking into your body with fatal rhythm. Going farther, deeper, harder. All you’re left with is shaking limbs and muted whines.

It hurts, it feels so good. It’s so disgusting but so hot. You’re meek, bushy roommate has made you little more than a fucktoy with what seems like minimal effort. You’re hurdled to a sloppy wet orgasm faster than ever before. 

Tamaki can tell that you’re close, studying the way your eyes screw up and brows furrow before falling over the edge for weeks from the comfort of your door jam. The consuming bliss overtakes your body, every muscle tensing, shaking from exhaustion as the cord pulls tight and snaps with fury. If you could, you would scream out the name of your captor, all you can manage a garbled sound from deep in your chest.

The next few moments find you in pieces. The feeling of emptiness knocks at your hypersensitive body as you’re flipped to balance weakly on your hands in knees. You’re not left alone for long, Tamaki’s just getting started.

He’s never been one to play with his food, but you’re just too tasty.

all writing is dymphnasprose’s original content, please do not repost or modify. do no read my content as asmr.©️

[poptod]

I have an ahkmenrah prompt idea! You notice Ahk’s been missing his home a lot, so you begin to learn a lot about it without telling him, even learning some hieroglyphics and he thinks you’re hiding something from him but he doesn’t know what and assumes the worst but then you finally reveal to him what you’ve been actually doing and surprise him by talking in ancient Egyptian to him and he’s so proud and happy about it (I need some wholesome ahkmenrah fluff)

notes: i’ll write this but in return u have to sit thru me nerding out about ancient egyptian language for a fat second so. recently i decided to figure out how ahk’s name would fit into a proper pharaoh’s name. it’s difficult to find out because there were over 400 symbols, many of them containing two or three separate sounds, and an infinite number of combinations that hold different connotations. an R can be symbolized with a mouth but it can also be a disc with a dot inside it to symbolize Ra, the sun god. anyway, the point is, i found out how to write his royal pharaonic name!

so anyway, here’s the fic, thank u for allowing me to logic this before pretending we can speak actual egyptian WC: 1.2k

+

The Museum of Natural History had a pitifully small Egyptian exhibit except for a single Pharaoh, and while that didn’t mean much to any casual museum visitor, it meant a great deal to the Pharaoh. When he came to life in the night, he was birthed into a world that grew on the remains of the remains of his world—it seemed two worlds of history stood between him and the present.

Sometimes you wondered if he’d be happier in a museum in Egypt, but more often than not you imagined it’d be such a taunt to be so close to home and yet never able to reach it. Then again, he’d probably have more Egyptian friends there, and thus a better connection to his culture.

At times like these, in which he thought much over the 4,000 year gap between his family and you, he stayed up in his exhibit and stared at the walls. Most of the walls were fake, and the hieroglyphs upon them sung for the eternal safety of a vizier he didn’t know. The verses were familiar, though—lines and images from the Amduat, the Egyptian Book of the Dead, praying for safe passage into the afterlife. When he was young, he was terrified that he would be buried improperly and without the correct spells and verses, condemning him to wander the Duat for eternity. Of course, he never even made it to the Duat.

“Ahkmenrah?” Came your quiet voice from outside the hall.

His gaze darted from the carvings to you, a small smile spreading across his face as he recognized you.

“Good evening,” he said. “You’re allowed to come in, you know.”

“Oh,” you stumbled forward, glancing warily up at his guards, “sorry.”

By the time you reached him, he was staring back at the hieroglyphs, his hands folded neatly in front of him. You fidgeted at his side.

“How have you been faring?” He asked without turning to you. “Haven’t seen you in a few days.”

There was a bitterness in his tone that you wouldn’t‘ve recognized if you weren’t as attuned as you were. In layman’s terms, you were anxious, and picked up on irritation a little too easily.

“I’ve been busy,” you mumbled, thinking quick to come up with an excuse. “My professor and I have been taking one-on-one sessions.”

“Going the way of the Greeks, are you?”

“… we’re not having sex, if that’s what you’re implying,” you said slowly.

“I’m not implying anything,” he bit back, anger in his furrowed brow until he noted your wide, nervous eyes. “I’ve… just missed you.”

His voice turned into little more than a mumble, and his eyes fell to the ground before he left you standing before the hieroglyphs. You turned but didn’t follow, and watched as he leaned over his sarcophagus.

“I don’t think it’s me you’re missing,” you said, quiet enough that you hoped he wouldn’t hear.

Unfortunately, he did.

“I can miss two things at once.”

You giggled, and that seemed to cheer him up, though not much.

Throughout the rest of the evening he was half-present, physically there enough to smile distantly at you, but far off enough that he didn’t heard a word you’d said in the past three hours. You noticed that but said nothing, deciding instead to just be quiet and look at the hieroglyphs with him.

In truth, you’d been studying hieroglyphs. This wasn’t the first time he displayed an overwhelming melancholy for what died after his time, and the book to learn basic hieroglyphs was only $20. Of course, only after buying the book did it tell you it was nearly impossible to speak actual ancient Egyptian due to the fact that their written language included none of the vowels from their words.

At that point you decided instead to write him something instead of trying to speak to him in his native tongue. That proved difficult as well; Egyptian was learned in phrases better than in words, meaning you would have to go through already translated documents to find specific lines that would work in your gift to him. The poem itself would be filled with inconsistencies, grammar problems, and crude images, but it was written down on a papyrus scroll, which you clutched tightly as you entered the museum. You weren’t even sure Ahk would be able to read it, as hieroglyphs had evolved plenty over their 4,000 years in daily use.

From countless different texts, all of which were translated by proper Egyptologist, you sewed together a poem line by line—word by word. None of it came from you on your own, but it would have to do; surely by suffering your decisions it carried some part of you.

I love you

oh, still heart

I stand alongside thy image

and rejoice in sacredness

Strong of voice

You are everything

perfect and pure

and you are the earth and sky

The ways

I have hidden myself with you

My soul,

My throne,

O still heart

is yours

Despite how long you spent on the poem, you didn’t have the guts to hand it to him until you were saying good-bye and Ahkmenrah was crawling back into his coffin. After that, you ran before you could see his reaction.

Your heart pounded as you speedwalked through the yellow halls, your footsteps echoing against the linoleum floor. He wouldn’t hate it, or you, and even if he did hate it, he certainly wouldn’t say it. He was too nice for that. But there was still the chance of embarrassing yourself—of revealing something that should’ve stayed hidden.

You quickened your steps even further.

“(Y/N)!”

A very familiar voice yelled your name from a distance. When you began to run, he called for you again, and he gave chase in his sandals. You sucked in a sharp, electric breath and kept running.

Until he caught you.

His arms came up on either side of your waist before the two of you slammed against the railing, Ahk’s hips immediately pinning yours in place as he forced you to turn around. He was panting, and your poem was clutched in his hand, the paper crumpled.

“Did,” he continued to pant, “did you write this?”

There was a dreamy aspect of his tone—a starry hum reverberating in his bright eyes that stared at you as though you were the marvel.

“Well.. uh, yes,” you stammered out.

He scanned your eyes for a moment before surging forward, crashing his lips against yours in a kiss made entirely of heated passion and a yearning you’d never sensed before. Though you didn’t try to move away, his hands moved to keep you rooted in place, one on your waist and the other guiding your face.

All that fire rose and fell far too soon—the sun would appear soon, and the windows were already warning you. He pulled away with much reluctance, and his first action, before running to save his life, was to speak.

“Thank you, my love,” he murmured in great haste, his breathy words ghosting your cheek. “My darling.” He kissed you again. “I love you, my darling.”

“Get back in your fucking bed, Ahk, the sun’s going to burn you.”

Another kiss and he fled, his cape flying off behind him.

“I love you!!” He called before disappearing around the corner, sending you one last blinding grin.

[jisungsmochi]

confessions - park jisung

jisung x reader / jisung being whipped / fluffy, lil angst / hope it makes you feel something lmaoo 

word count: 8.7k 

mini playlist: 

Cloud 9 - Beach Bunny 

Falling - Chase Atlantic 

Enchanted - Taylor Swift 

summary: confessing to your crush was always daunting. but how else were you supposed to let them know how you truly feel? y/n has learned the hard way, always being the confessor rather than the one being confessed to. oh how she wished that one day, someone will have the courage to tell her how they feel, without her always having to make the moves...

//

“i like you”

“ew, you’ll give me cooties”

y/n was barely seven years old when she confessed to her very first crush, lee donghyuck. he rudely rejected her offer to play marbles during lunch, but she wasn’t fazed. she plastered a bright smile on her face, calmly nodding at the little boy,

“cooties aren’t real, it’s probably just germs from not washing your hands!” she snickered, turning on her heel as she made her way to a shaded area in the quad. she left donghyuck speechless that day, slightly bruising the young boy’s ego. how could she be so calm when her very first crush had harshly rejected her? she always tried to display a cheery exterior to her peers, she found it embarrassing if people caught her crying over some boy. so she pushed her feelings aside until she was alone.

when y/n was twelve, she had grown a crush on her desk mate, jeno. he was quiet most of the time, only speaking to her when he needed answers for homework, but she was whipped nonetheless. he was undeniably handsome, especially for someone their age. how was that even possible? she would intently watch him play soccer with his friends on the school oval, softly cheering every time he made a goal. jeno had noticed when she attended his games, often smiling at her from the field.

after weeks of innocent stares in the hallway and short conversations during class, y/n decided it was time to confess to lee jeno. she came up with the cute idea to write a small note to him during class, it read:

hi jeno!! i think you’re really cute, and a great soccer player. i also have a crush on you...would you go out with me?

tick yes or no

she had written the letter in sparkly pink ink, folded it gently before sliding it over to jeno’s desk. the confused boy swiped the card over to his side, slowly opening it. her heart was beating out of her chest. jeno started scribbling on the paper, causing her to furrow her eyebrows, all he needed to do was leave a tick?

jeno returned the note to her, a soft smile plastered on his face. her eyes scanned over the note, landing on his answer. the ‘yes’ box was ticked, followed by a short sentence under it,

would this mean you’re my girlfriend?

tick yes or no

she couldn’t help but smirk at his charms, immediately ticking yes. from that day on, jeno and y/n began dating. but when you’re going through your pre-teen years, things get really dramatic. jeno ended things with y/n after only three months of dating, which seemed like forever for a twelve year old. he dumped her over text, as many pre-teens did back then. she put on a brave front, acting as if she was okay with it all. it wasn’t even a serious relationship, but it was still her first. of course it hurt. but she continued to suffer in silence, no one needed to know.

when y/n was fifteen, almost turning sixteen, she befriended huang renjun. they were always aware of the other, often hanging out in the same cliques. it was the school’s swimming carnival, when she began getting closer to him. after donghyuck had accidentally pushed her into the pool, too caught up with chasing mark around, renjun came to her rescue. he offered her his towel, wrapping her up tightly as he sat and chatted with her while the others scolded donghyuck. he was a great conversationalist, always having something new to talk about. y/n adored that about him. from that day onwards, she would message him back and forth, almost becoming a daily occurrence. they would skype call after school, catching eachother up on any drama or daily events in their early high school lives. she started falling for him, fast. but there was one downfall to renjun. he would never acknowledge y/n at school. whenever he was with his friends, he pretended like he was merely acquaintances with the girl. it hurt her to see him act like nothing was happening between them. word got around that renjun had a crush on somebody. as usual high school gossip goes, the signs led back to y/n. her friends would cheer her on to confess to him, so would his friends. they believed they would be a strong couple. so she decided to take measures into her own hands, opting to confess to huang renjun.

y/n approached the boy during lunch, interrupting his conversation with jaemin.

“can i talk to you, uh privately?” her voice wavered as she spoke, but she stood her ground. renjun looked over at his friends, jaemin raising an eyebrow at him, encouraging him to go with her. he eventually gave in, keeping a slight distance from the nervous girl as they walked around the school grounds together.

“what did you want to talk about?” he coughed slightly, feeling an immense amount of awkwardness around them.

“i wanted to tell you something” she started, now stopping in their tracks. renjun gulped, a guilty feeling beginning to rise in his stomach.

“i like you, renjun. more than a friend” she finally spat out, trying to read the reaction of the boy across from her. but renjun remained silent, eyes avoiding hers. y/n felt deflated, why the hell wasnt he saying anything?

“i-thank you” he stuttered, causing her to raise an eyebrow at him. thank you?

“i mean thank you for telling me, it’s nice that you’re so honest” renjun tried to smile, but she didn’t budge. he wasn’t taking this seriously at all.

“you know what, just forget i said anything, bye renjun” y/n rolled her eyes, fed up with this constant rejection that seemed to follow her around. why couldn’t she get a happy ending? just for once. why did she have to settle for less than what she deserved? not only did she get rejected by a crush that day, she lost a great friend. y/n swore that she would stop focusing on chasing other’s affections. what was the point? she was just going to get rejected anyway. atleast that’s what she always told herself. those memories always stuck with her, and she refused to ever feel so dejected in life. she wouldn’t let this happen again. she just wanted someone to confess to her for once, would that really be so hard?

park jisung was a simple boy, cruising through life with little to no worries. all he wanted to do was finish high school, he dreaded it more than anything. everyday was the same for him, waking up to the same alarm, riding his skateboard to school, sitting for what seemed like forever, then going home to rest and repeat. he never took notice of those around him, why would he? it’s not like he was going to stay in touch with many of them after school finished. except for his best friend, chenle, he could never escape him no matter how hard he tried.

it was the first day of junior year, when jisung found himself placed in a seating plan for his modern history class.

‘is this really necessary?’ he mumbled to himself, shuffling to his assigned seat. atleast it’s by the window, he thought to himself.

y/n strolled through the halls, making her way to her first period class, modern history. a new year, a fresh new start. she waltzed into the room, noticing students gathering around the seating chart. she found her name, whipping her head around the classroom, eyes landing on a messy haired boy next to the window. she shrugged to herself, not recognising him at all. as she made her way to the desk, jisung suddenly perked up. she was stunning. it may have only been nine in the morning, but seeing her was enough to completely wake the previously tired boy up.

“hey, i guess we’re deskmates” y/n greeted politely, taking a seat right next to the timid boy. jisung was thinking of something witty to say, but nothing was coming to mind.

“y-yes we are” was all he managed to let out. y/n just nodded at him, eyes focusing on their teacher who had called the attention on the room. but jisung couldn’t keep his eyes off her. how had he never seen her before? she was practically glowing, her soft features accentuated by the light. he was breath taken by her, despite only having shared simple greetings.

y/n felt the boy staring at her, but decided not to call him out on it. she promised herself to not get involved with anyone this year. it would only bring her eventual rejection again. so she tried her best to ignore park jisung, it was the only way to get him to lose interest.

“i don’t think she’s too fond of me” jisung confides in his best friend, chenle as they sit under the bleachers, munching on their lunch.

“can you blame her? you probably ask her too many unnecessary questions” chenle smirked, teasing his pouty friend.

“no, i don’t even talk to her much, she just refuses to acknowledge my existence” jisung lets out an exhausted puff, thinking back to his numerous attempts to atleast become acquainted with his desk mate. firstly, he tried greeting her brightly each morning, in which she would only raise her eyebrows before pulling out her books for the class. secondly, jisung attempted to ask her questions about class work, in which she shushed him, pointing over to the teacher who was speaking. even after class, she would immediately pack her things before he had the chance, rushing out the door as if she was the flash or something.

“sounds like she just isn’t fond of people in general. does she even have any friends?” chenle questioned, trying his best to pull his friend out of his solemn state.

“i-i’m not sure, i mean she has to have atleast one friend...right?” jisung started thinking to himself. if he couldn’t get her to talk, maybe her friends would.

“you might be playing with fire here, is she really worth getting to know?” chenle scoffed, slightly admiring jisung’s determination.

“you never know unless you try, right?” jisung took a bite of his sandwich, there has to be a way for y/n to open up to him.

//

“i heard that park jisung has been going around, asking about you” one of y/n’s longest friends, ningning, suddenly brought up. y/n looked at her as if she was crazy, what is up with this park jisung dude?

“what does he want with me?” she rolled her eyes slightly, flipping through her history textbook.

“maybe he likes you? or maybe, he just wants to be friends. why are you so harsh to him anyway?” ningning sighed, memories of seeing her friend cry over boys now cluttering her mind.

“i don’t need any more friends. i have you, and like...sungchan” y/n shrugged, continuing to take notes as she read.

“i think you’re being unreasonable, he seems really nice. give him a chance” ningning tried persuading her friend but y/n was stubborn. she wasn’t going to get wrapped up in any unnecessary drama. maybe she was being a little rude towards jisung, she could cut it down a bit. but being anything more than classmates was not in the cards for her at all.

the following monday morning, jisung entered the classroom, skateboard attached to his hip.

“mr park, the skateboard stays at the front of the room, we’ve been through this” mr kim warned the tired boy, earning a subtle nod from him. jisung gently placed his skateboard against the wall, before making his way to his desk. he was surprised to see that y/n was already seated, scribbling down all sorts of things in her planner. jisung let out a soft cough, signalling her to raise her head to face him.

“could i uh get to my seat?” he muttered, barely loud enough for her to hear. he was more shocked to hear her response,

“oh of course, sorry jisung” he froze after she finished speaking. was this real life? was y/n really acknowledging him right now?

she scooted closer to her desk, allowing space for the tall boy. jisung quickly snapped out of his thoughts, rushing to sit down. she couldn’t help but let out a slight chuckle at his antics. it didn’t go unnoticed by jisung.

“may i have your attention? as you all know, it’s now the middle of the term. to test your knowledge, i want you guys to pair up with your desk-mates and make a presentation on a historical topic of your choice. please refer to the assessment outline for more information”

jisung was practically beaming after hearing ‘pair up with your desk-mate’. his eyes shifted to the girl next to him, who seemed quite pleased. she looked over at him, simply nodding, acknowledging their future partnership. did he wake up in some type of alternate universe?

“uh jisung, i really want to do well in this subject. so we should probably get started as soon as possible” y/n gently tapped the side of his desk, drawing in his attention.

“oh yeah, for sure. w-when did you want to start?” he stumbled over some of his words, catching her off guard, making her softly smile.

“maybe tomorrow? do you have a free period?” she continued the flow of the conversation, making jisung feel more at ease.

“uh yeah, just before lunch” he responded, watching as her face lit up.

“oh great! me too, we can work at the bleachers, barely anyone goes there anyway” she confirmed, writing down the extra details in her planner. jisung couldn’t stop staring at her, how could she do such simple tasks, yet look so beautiful?

all he had to say was, thank you mr kim.

//

y/n patiently waited for jisung to arrive, typing up random notes on her laptop. she was onto her second paragraph when she heard the huffing and puffing of someone next to her. jisung hurriedly sat down next to her, needing to take a deep breath.

“a-are you okay?” she questioned, shutting her laptop, turning her body to face the boy. jisung just nodded, holding up a finger before speaking.

“i just had chemistry with Mr Jung, he wouldn’t let us leave until we could recite the first twenty elements on the periodic table” jisung finally felt relaxed, taking out his water bottle, consuming a concerning amount of water. her mouth created a slight ‘O’ shape, grasping the situation.

“i had to sprint here, i always get stuck past Sodium” jisung continued rambling, allowing y/n to simply stare intently. she didn’t mean for it to seem creepy, but she couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle at his constant ramblings.

“a-ah sorry, we should probably get started” he shook his head, pulling out his own laptop from his bag. y/n nodded at his words, unsure of how to continue a conversation with him. it had been a while since she spoke to someone outside her inner circle of two people.

after about forty minutes of hardcore work, y/n’s eyes started wandering around. she caught sight of the boys soccer team, who were preparing for their lunch time practice. jisung’s eyes followed hers,

“you like soccer?” he blurted out, trying his best to start a conversation with her. she nodded softly, the side of her mouth curving upwards.

“yeah, i do. i’m no good at it, i just like watching. do you?” she questioned him back, eyes now focusing on him.

“of course, my parents weren’t so subtle, naming me after a famous soccer player and all” he joked, watching as the girl across from him started hysterically laughing. oh how he adored her laugh.

“oh my god, i didn’t even realise! they must have been onto something! why aren’t you on the team?” she furrowed her eyebrows, jisung bit his lip nervously,

“ah yeah, contrary to popular belief, i suck at soccer and didn’t make the team.” he sighed, feeling slightly embarrassed. y/n paused momentarily before opening her mouth,

“ah who cares! we can just watch together from the stands then” she shot him a soft smile, relieving some of the tension jisung had previously felt. the bell for lunch rang through the field, signalling that their free period had come to an end. jisung was about to pack up his things, when he noticed that y/n was still sitting, eyes glued to the players on the field.

“hey, it’s lunch now” jisung gently tapped her shoulder, snapping her out of her mini trance. y/n just nodded,

“oh i know, i was just going to watch them practice and eat my lunch here” she explained, turning her head back to the field. jisung held the strap of his bag tightly, thinking to himself momentarily. chenle can wait, he thought to himself. jisung plumped his bag to his side as he returned to his seat right next to her.

“what are you doing?” y/n questioned the boy,

“what does it look like? i’m keeping you company” he just smiled, pulling out a packet of chips, offering her some. she couldn’t hide how entertained she was, kindly accepting his offer. they continued to watch the soccer team practice, eyes scanning for the best players.

“that jeno guy is pretty good, i’m kind of jealous” jisung pouted, causing y/n to start giggling.

“am i wrong? like who wouldn’t be jealous of lee jeno? he’s got like everything! he’s athletic, and good looking and probably gets lots of chicks” jisung praised,

“wow jisung, sounds like you have a crush!” y/n teased the boy, softly nudging him. jisung froze at the sudden contact, he liked how playful you started being with him.

“don’t you? he’s kind of a catch, i thought girls would be all over him” jisung shrugged, watching as she slowly became quiet. he was startled by her reaction, feeling heat rise to his cheeks immediately.

“d-did i say something?” he muttered, unsure whether or not she was upset.

“n-no you didn’t. i mean, lee jeno was my first boyfriend, so i can say i’ve been there and done that!” y/n let out a small scoff, she noticed that jisung had now grown concerned.

“it was nothing though, we were like 12, and he dumped me over text. hasn’t spoken a word to me since though” she sighed, eyes scanning back to the boy in question. jisung was unsure of what to say next. y/n knew she had just over shared, she couldn’t help it. once she started, sometimes she couldn’t stop. she knew it would make jisung feel uncomfortable, part of her regretting it immediately. but when she saw the boy shoot her a cheeky grin, all her worries washed away.

“it’s good to hear that one girl at this school doesn’t have a crush on lee jeno” was all he said, causing her to raise an eyebrow.

“why’s that?” she curiously questioned,

“because that means i have a chance” he just smirked, head turning to focus back on the field. y/n was speechless. was he really being serious? or was this just some playful joke? she chose not to respond, feeling heat rise to her ears and cheeks. since when was park jisung such a flirt?

//

“come on, it’ll be fun” ningning whined as she sat with y/n and sungchan at the bleachers.

“yeah, you’ll get to see me play for the first time since i got on the team” sungchan begged, watching as y/n debated to herself.

“okay fine, not like i have three assignments to do that night” she sighs, giving into her friend’s peer pressure to attend friday night’s school soccer game. ningning and sungchan high-fived eachother, slightly surprised by her response. y/n’s gaze drew to the one and only park jisung, who was currently trying to do some weird skateboards tricks with chenle. she couldn’t pull her eyes away, finding it amusing whenever he made a mistake and tried to awkwardly cover it up. ningning snickered, catching onto the entire situation.

“park jisung huh? guess it’s finally time for you to put yourself back out there?” y/n snapped out of her trance, now glaring at her friend.

“n-no, what are you talking about? i wasn’t even looking at him” y/n immediately became defensive, sungchan deciding to step in.

“you totally were, in fact i’m sure you have a little bit of drool at the side of your mouth” he playfully teased, pretending to wipe off ‘drool’ from her face. y/n shoved his hands away from her, softly pouting.

“guys, he’s just a classmate. i said i wasn’t going to get involved with anyone, remember?” the annoyed girl reiterated to her friends, who weren’t buying the act at all.

“you can’t shut off your feelings, you know? it’s clear that you’re interested in him, even if it’s the tiniest bit. and you already know he’s interested in you too! why can’t you see that?” ningning sighed, feeling sorry for how hard y/n was on herself.

“because things will get messy. i’ll end up falling harder and ruin everything. it’s not going to happen again, i won’t let it” y/n looked down at her hands, gripping her water bottle tightly.

“maybe he’s different. he’s not going to be another jeno, or renjun, or donghyuck even. just keep an open mind, you have to start lowering your walls” sungchan pulled his arm around y/n shoulders, allowing her to rest against his side. ningning held her hand in y/n’s, gently stroking the back of her hand with her thumb. inside, y/n knew her friends were right. but something kept telling her that she was going to end up broken by the end of it. she really hoped that park jisung would be different. she needed him to be different.

//

y/n and jisung were halfway through their assignment, sitting next to eachother in the school library during their free period.

“damn, we are doing pretty well, way ahead of the schedule you had planned for us” jisung teased, eyes shifting to the page of scribbles, indicating the tasks for the assignment. y/n let out a scoff, pulling her planner towards her,

“don’t diss my planning okay? it’s just a rough outline!” she pierced her eyes at him, watching as he just smiled back at her. why does he keep doing that?

“you going to the soccer game tonight?” jisung nervously stammered, trying to play off as if he didn’t care too much about it. y/n only smirked at his words, placing down her pen before responding,

“may i ask why you’re asking?” she leant back in her chair, watching as jisung shifted his position so that he was directly facing her. she held her breath for a moment, not realising how close he actually was to her right now.

“because i’m going, and i was wondering if you wanted to watch it together. you know, since we are just the spectators rather than the players?” y/n wasn’t sure why she felt so...flattered, he really was unknowingly charming.

“oh yeah, i’m going, but i’ll be sitting with my friend” she tried to push the idea of her and jisung sitting alone for two hours in the cold, out of her mind. but jisung wasn’t going to back down so easily.

“oh great! i’ll bring chenle too, we can all sit together” he smiled widely before returning to type on his laptop. y/n let out a soft sigh. it doesn’t look like he will be giving up anytime soon.

//

y/n and ningning were both cozied up together on the bleachers, eyes on the lookout for sungchan. they locked eyes with the tall boy, waving at him erratically, causing him to respond in the exact same manner, gaining looks from his team mates.

“oh i sure hope they win, otherwise we’re making him buy us hot chocolate, i’m freezing!” y/n huffs, her breath now appearing infront of her.

“someone say hot chocolate?” the familiar voice rang through her ears. jisung was now seated next to her, two cups of hot chocolate in his hands. her mouth was agape, watching as the boy handed her friend one cup, then offering her the other. ningning kindly thanked him, gently nudging y/n’s arm.

“and one for my favourite desk mate” jisung snickered as she gently took the cup from him.

“hey! i thought i was your favourite desk mate!” chenle, who was on the other side of jisung, whined. jisung let out a scoff, softly shoving his friend,

“that was three years ago, things change” chenle continued to sulk, jisung not paying any attention to him. y/n couldn’t hide her amusement, taking a small sip from the warm cup of goodness.

“thanks jisung, i’ll pay you back” she offered kindly, reaching for her bag, but jisung stopped her, his hand wrapping around her wrist. y/n’s eyes shifted from his hand, to his face. jisung quickly removed his hand from her wrist, placing them into the pockets of his large coat.

“it’s on me, take it as a thankyou, for being such a great partner” a soft grin was plastered on his face. y/n just nodded, continuing to sip on the drink. the game had finally started, cheers of their fellow classmates echoed throughout the stands. sungchan played his best, assisting jeno in scoring the winning goal. the group of four in the stands, wailed at the top of their lungs, gaining the attention of those around them. y/n couldn’t stop laughing, continuously slapping jisung’s arm as she did so. jisung couldn’t stop looking at her. all he could think about was how gorgeous she looked in this light, the state of pure happiness she was currently in. it was enough for him to fall harder for her. along with her, not so gentle, slaps to his arm, jisung could swear he was in heaven.

“i-i’m sorry, jisung” she quickly calmed down, now realising how hard her slaps actually were. jisung shook his head,

“its okay, i’ll be your human punching bag any day, if it means you’ll hang out with me more” he smirked, causing her mouth to open slightly. was this guy even real? how could he come up with such cheesy lines?

“you’re an odd character, park jisung” y/n slightly shook her head in amusement, allowing her arm to brush against his as they sat closer together.

“it’s one of my best qualities” it sure was.

after the game ended, sungchan ran up to the group, jumping up and down, still pumped from his win.

“you did amazing!” y/n engulfed him into a warm hug. jisung watched the interaction unfold, part of him wishing you would be comfortable enough to embrace him like that one day.

“thanks for coming guys, i really appreciate it” sungchan smiles over to jisung and chenle who were aimlessly standing.

“anyone wanna get milkshakes or something? on me” chenle suddenly pipes up, watching as everyone’s face lit up.

“and this is why you’re my best friend” jisung pulled the other boy by his shoulders as the rest followed the pair. it was short drive in sungchan’s car, to the nearest diner. y/n was slightly shivering whilst in the car, jisung immediately noticed. he debated on whether or not to offer her his coat, but didn’t want to seem too persistent about it. as y/n stepped out of the car, she felt strong shiver throughout her body. jisung pushes his prior worries aside, immediately slipping off his coat, draping it around her shoulders.

“o-oh you don’t have to do this, jisung” she tried to decline, but the boy refused.

“nope, you’re cold and i’m already warm in this hoodie, just accept it” he convinced her, not taking no for an answer. as the five of them stepped into the diner, ningning made a beeline for her favourite booth near the back window. she slid herself into the booth, with sungchan next to her. y/n slide herself in the seat across from her friends, jisung quickly shoving in right next to her, chenle on his other side, once again. ningning gave y/n a playful smirk, eyes scanning over the overly large coat she had on. y/n raised her eyebrows, eyes straining, warning her friend to not mention it.

y/n’s eyes shifted over to jisung, who had started a conversation with sungchan and chenle about some new video game that was coming out soon. she watched as he threw his head back in laughter, continuing to argue with chenle about who was the best avatar in the game.  she then noticed how he balled hands into fists, gently rubbing them against the surface of his pants. he would occasionally blow on them, trying his best to get some warmth. she felt guilty for taking his coat, but knew he would do anything in his power to have her wear it. so she swallowed some of her pride, reaching for his hands. jisung froze at the sudden contact, trying to not make it obvious to the rest that he was now disengaged from the conversation entirely.

“w-what are you doing?” he muttered, moving closer to y/n, which made her slightly blush. she pulled his hands into her lap, wrapping them in the excess material of the oversized coat.

“they looked cold, i’ll warm them up for you” she softly smiled, and jisung swore his heart was about to burst out of his chest. was this real life? it couldn’t be, it had to be some crazy dream he was having.

y/n noticed the sudden shyness from jisung, heat now rising to his ears. she would be lying if she said she didn’t find him adorable. her heart racing as the close contact.

the rest of the night was spent chatting away between the five of them. from how lee donghyuck got suspended for putting shaving cream in the soccer coach’s cap, to the dreaded mid term exams that were approaching. y/n wished she had participated more in the discussions, but her thoughts were too preoccupied by park jisung. his hands still rested in hers, her fingers slowly beginning to smooth over his own, making his heart skip beats. he felt himself lean in closer to her as the night went on, practically crushing her against the window, but she didn’t mind.

“we should get heading home now, our parents are probably wondering where we are” ningning pouted as they all raised from their seats. jisung didn’t want to pull his hands away from y/n’s, making the bold decision to intertwine their fingers as they left the diner. y/n’s eyes widened at his actions as he smiled down at her. they sat in the back of sungchan’s car, as y/n felt her head lean on jisung’s shoulder, her hand still holding his. her eyes slowly became drowsy, ready to fall asleep.

“you two are really cute” ningning whispered, not knowing that y/n was listening intently,

“t-thanks” jisung whispered back, trying his best to hide how happy he was by the comment.

“so are you confessing?” chenle snickered, causing jisung to roll his eyes,

“i want to take things slow. i want her to like me back first” jisung sighed, reaching to brush some of y/n’s hair from her face.

“oh trust me dude, she likes you. she just won’t admit it yet” sungchan smiled to himself, happy to see y/n finally start opening up again.

“good, cause i’m in it for the long run” oh park jisung, who wouldn’t fall for him?

//

when jisung got to school the following monday, he saw y/n standing at the front gates, swaying slightly. she was wearing black stockings with a plaid skirt and a creme coloured sweater vest. but she was wearing something else that caught his eye.

“goodmorning jisung” she greeted the boy, fast paced walking to meet him. jisung smiled softly at her, pulling his skateboard to his side.

“goodmorning, y-you’re wearing my coat” he pointed out, causing her to freeze slightly.

“o-oh yeah, do you mind? it’s been pretty chilly lately” she wrapped herself tighter, eyes facing the ground. jisung felt a swarm of butterflies emerge in his stomach, she really had that effect on him.

“it’s totally okay, you suit it better than i do” he softly chuckled, beginning to walk alongside her, arms brushing against eachother.

“you gotta stop saying stuff like that” y/n sighs, waltzing through the school hallway, to their history classroom.

“and why should i?” jisung playfully teased, tugging on her sleeve, turning her to face him. her hands instantly went to his chest, not realising how close he had pulled her to him.

“b-because” she spoke barely above a whisper. jisung’s eyebrows furrowed at her,

“because it’s making me feel things” was all she said as she pulled away from him, rushing to her desk. jisung couldn’t help but admire her awkwardness. he was slowly getting there, she had partially admitted to having feelings for him. but he knew she wasn’t going to fully admit it anytime soon. he had to make the first big move...but he needed some outside help.

//

“is there a reason why we are hiding from y/n right now?” ningning whispered, face to face with jisung.

“i want to confess to her” he blurted out, ningning’s eyes widening in shock.

“you want to confess to her?” she repeated, mind still trying to wrap around the situation.

“uh yes? is it so hard to believe? i thought i made it pretty obvio-“

“no no, i know you like her. it’s just that, she’s never EVER had a boy confess to her before. it’s always been her making the moves” ningning explains, jisung’s mouth pressing into a firm line.

“she’s not used to this type of attention. like where the guy is genuinely interested in her as a person, and the things she likes. she’s used to always getting to know the guy, doing everything in her power to gain some type of feelings for her. then she ends up hurt after she realises that she fell harder than they did for her” jisung would be lying if this wasn’t hurting him. how could they do that to someone as caring and loving as y/n?

“how do i show her that i’m different?” jisung stammers, nerves slowly taking over. ningning just giggles,

“you’re already half way there. trust me, she knows inside that you’re not like the rest. you just have to hit it out of the park with a bomb ass confession! here’s what i’m thinking...” ningning continues to whisper to the boy, jisung stringing along to every word. operation confession for y/n was underway.

//

“hey, are we ready to hand in our assignment?” y/n approached jisung just before class. he responded with an affirmative nod, pulling out the ten page report from his backpack. her eyes widened at his efforts, admiring how prettily he presented the report.

“j-jisung” she stuttered, flipping through each page.

“i had some spare time last night, don’t mention it” he winks at her as she felt heat rise to her cheeks. she quickly moved to her seat next to him, trying her best to hide her face with her hair. but jisung noticed, smirking to himself. could she be any more adorable?

“there’s another soccer game on friday! did you want to sit together again?” jisung turned over the the girl next to him, catching her completely off guard. y/n looked over to jisung, his face completely softened, his eyes practically begging her to say yes.

“y-yeah i’d like that” she nodded, silently cheering that she would get to spend another night with park jisung. the plan was now in motion.

//

jisung was standing under the bleachers, awaiting y/n’s arrival. chenle approached him, giving him a slight pat on the back.

“you ready, buddy?” chenle whispered, a cheery expression on his face. jisung slowly nodded.

“yeah, the worst she could say is no” jisung tried his best not to psych himself out, reviewing his confession in his head.

“they’re here” chenle announces, eyes drifting to y/n and ningning. jisung took a deep breath, moving slowly towards the pair of girls. y/n was the first to notice him, shooting him a small smile, meeting him halfway.

“good evening ladies” chenle greets, making ningning giggle.

“oh please, we are barely ladies” she sighs, stepping past groups of people to find a seat for the four of them. chenle followed her in suit, with y/n and jisung straggling behind. jisung nudged y/n’s shoulder, giving her a small nod. she returned the gesture, feeling slightly awkward. but she pushed it aside, happy to spend another evening with jisung. she noticed that throughout the game, jisung’s leg kept bouncing up and down. she sensed he was nervous about something, it was either that or he was just really cold.

“do you want my coat to cover your legs? i brought an extra blanket with me” y/n whispered to jisung, causing him to halt his movements. he looks over at her, as she was halfway to taking off her coat.

“why don’t we just share the blanket?” jisung slyly comments. now it was her turn to freeze. she looked over at him, lips pressed in a firm line. as she placed her coat back on, and pulled out the blanket, jisung could feel his heart pumping faster than it had ever before. this was a good sign, right? she must like him back...right?

y/n gently placed the half the blanket over his knees, moving herself closer to him to gather warmth. she didn’t say much to him after, too focused on the game they were watching. but the position they were in right now, was all that was on jisung’s mind.

the game ended with a close win by sungchan’s team. although everyone was celebrating, it was noticeable that sungchan was not proud of how he played.

“dude don’t beat yourself up about it, it happens to the best of us” chenle tried to comfort. sungchan just nodded, not wanting to talk much about it.

“okay grumpy pants, let’s go get some food” ningning pulls the sulky not by the arm, chenle on the other side of him, doing the same.

“you two coming?” ningning calls from behind her. before y/n could answer, jisung reaches for her wrist, stopping her in her path.

“c-could i steal y/n for the night?” jisung didn’t let go of her wrist, watching as their three friends all had identical smirks.

“sure thing, see you two tomorrow” chenle winks, rushing off with the others. y/n’s face contorted into utter confusion. the feeling of jisung’s warm hand wrapped around her wrist made her nervous. he let out a short cough before letting go.

“what did you want to talk about?” she questioned, allowing multiple students to pass by her. jisung didn’t respond immediately, pulling her to sit at the bleachers again. he reaches into his coat pocket, pulling out a pink folded piece of paper. her eyes were immediately drawn to it, but part of her was still wondering what this entire debacle was about.

“i-i don’t want you to read this yet. well until i tell you what i have to say” jisung mutters, hands becoming sweaty. this was such a different jisung to watch y/n was used to seeing. he always made witty jokes out of any situation, and was barely ever...nervous.

“go on” she urged, eyes still glued to that piece of paper. jisung cleared just throat, eyes finally meeting those of the girls across from him.

“i have a crush on you” those words had y/n stunned. her mouth became agape, no proper words able to be formed. jisung decided to continue,

“i know that you aren’t looking for a relationship or anything. and you’ve been hurt before. but i just had to tell you. i couldn’t keep it inside anymore” he finally admitted, shoulders now slouching. his eyes wavered from hers at times, but they were now drawn to his hands. y/n wasn’t sure how to respond. this was her first ever confession. the first person to actually have interest in her first. she wasn’t used to this at all. jisung was a nice guy, she knew he was. but was he the guy for her? or was she just struck with the idea of him confessing first? did she even really like him that way?

jisung noticed the mini debate occurring in the girl’s mind, part of his ego becoming bruised. y/n wanted to say something articulate back to him but she couldn’t find the right words.

“uh t-thanks for telling me, jisung. it must have taken a lot of courage” that wasn’t the way he expected things to go, but he continued listening to her.

“but are you really sure you like me? like really sure?” y/n questioned, the idea still not wrapping around her head. jisung was in disbelief, was he not obvious enough?

“i’m more than sure. i’ve liked you ever since i’ve met you” he mutters, feeling completely dejected.

“t-that’s not possible. you didn’t even know me then” she shook her head, eyes drifting to the hurt expression that was now on jisung’s face.

“i didn’t need to. you were so beautiful to me. i had to get to know you. i thought i made it pretty obvious that i liked you. but i guess i should have done a bit more, maybe save myself the embarrassment” he mumbled the last part to himself. his words striking her right in the heart. she didn’t want to come off as rude or unappreciative. but how was she meant to know this wasn’t some kind of joke, or if his feelings were true.

“is it really that hard to believe that i like you?” jisung tried his best to remain calm, but he wanted nothing more than to dig a hole and lay in it.

“yes. it is. because guys don’t confess to me. they just don’t. they don’t fall for me first” she continued to tell herself, watching as jisung’s face flatten.

“you can keep thinking that. but it’s not true. i’m living proof. i really thought you liked me too. i must have misread this entire thing” hearing those words stung her heart. she did like jisung. maybe not as much as he claimed he liked her, but she definitely had feelings towards him as more than a friend. but she didn’t feel ready, for any of this.

“jisung, it’s not like that. i like you too, i just don’t think i’m ready” she whispers, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. jisung could barely look at her, an overwhelming wave of embarrassment washing over him.

“when will you ever be ready? because by the looks of it, it seems like you never will be” jisung shook his head, forcefully brushing through strands of his hair. y/n moved closer to the boy, placing her hand onto his shoulder. she felt him tense at the contact, his eyes finally coming back up to meet hers again.

“i-i don’t know when i’ll be ready. i just need some time to think about it” she sighed, not wanting to rub more salt into the wound. jisung only nodded in response. there was no use trying to convince her any further. jisung accepted her reasons, even though he held resentment towards her for initially rejecting him.

“i’ll give you some space. let me walk you home atleast” jisung stood up, offering his hand to her. y/n cautiously took his hand in hers, slowly walking alongside the tall boy.

silence filled the air on their walk home. the only sounds being heard were the hoots of owls and screeching of cicadas. jisung had let go of her hand along the way, which pained her to admit, she missed his touch immediately. as they made it to her front door step, jisung was in a rush to get home, ready to sob his eyes out. but y/n stopped him.

“i understand that you’re upset. trust me, i know how it feels. but i hope you can see where i’m coming from” she mumbled as jisung nodded along to her words.

“it’s fine, i get it. i’ll just give this to you now” he pulled out the folded paper from earlier, handing it over to her.

“if you still don’t believe i like you, that should give you a sign about how much i actually do. have a nice night” he shrugged at her, turning his back to walk away. she watched as he left her driveway, head hung low. she shook the thoughts out of her mind, opening the door to her house. she didn’t bother looking back at jisung, closing the door behind her. but just as she entered her home, jisung’s gaze lingered on her. how could she have hurt him so much in such a short amount of time, yet he still felt the exact same about her?

park jisung, you are a fool. he thought to himself on his way home. how would he move on from this?

//

after the long night she had, y/n wanted nothing more but to sleep her problems away. but as she held onto the pink paper in her hands, she knew she wasn’t getting any sleep. she seated herself on her bed, carefully unfolding the paper, her heart racing.

“dear y/n,

if you’re reading this, i’ve just confessed to you. and you’ve most likely rejected me. i understand why you did it, i really do. i just couldn’t hold it inside any longer. i know you aren’t looking for anything serious at the moment. but i want you to know that i’ll be waiting for you. i hope that one day you realise how amazing you really are, and how i would be the luckiest guy in the world, to have you reciprocate my feelings. i honestly feel like you’re out of my league. i mean, you’re so confident in yourself. and you never let people bring you down. you’re so optimistic about such trivial things, it’s started to rub off on me a bit. i appreciate the sweet moments we’ve had together, and i hope you do as well. i don’t want to lost hope, that’s something you’ve taught me. you’re now nearing the end of this awfully structured letter, and i just want to say, that you deserve the world, and i can be the guy to give it to you. if you just give me a chance.

- park jisung (you already know who it’s from i just wanted to sound formal okay bye)”

y/n suddenly felt tears stream down her cheeks. for once in her life, she felt truly appreciated and cared for in return. of course she could see herself with jisung. it wasn’t a hard decision for her to make up her mind about it. but her constant doubts always held her back. it wasn’t fair to jisung at all, to keep him stringing along. she needed to make a decision, quick. there was no way she was going to hurt this boy.

//

the following monday morning, jisung patiently awaited y/n’s arrival in class. he nibbled on the side of his lip, tapping his pen rapidly on the desk. other students asked him to stop, as they were getting annoyed at the sounds but he couldn’t help it. he was praying she read the letter and didn’t just discard of it.

just as he was slipping into his own thoughts, he felt a sudden slam of books on the desk. his eyes met y/n’s as she sat down next to him. his quickly broke eye contact, flipping through his textbook as if he was studying. but she caught on to the boy’s antics, tapping him on the shoulder. jisung froze at the contact, looking over at the girl, who was still wearing his jacket.

“this is for you” she pulled out a small jar of origami hearts, sliding it over to his side of the desk. she felt heat rise to her ears, slightly embarrassed at the sweet gesture. jisung was practically speechless, his heart beating at a rapid pace.

“wow thank you, i love it” he gave her a gentle smile, eyes suddenly disappearing. she only nodded back, unsure of how to continue.

“i read your letter” she got to the point, jisung’s attention fully attended to her.

“i didn’t realise you felt so deeply about me, jisung. i thought you just had a silly crush, maybe that’s why i thought it would be easy to push you away. but you never let it go. and i’ve never had anyone do that for me before. so thank you” y/n barely whispers, feeling her palms begin to sweat. which was only something that happened when she was extremely nervous.

“what i’m saying is. you’re not like the guys i’ve liked before. you like me for me, and you genuinely want to be with me. so would you consider going on a date with me to the movies this weekend?” she cautiously suggested, watching as the boy’s face lit up in utter glee. he wanted nothing more but to pull her close and swing her around as he hugged her. but they were still in class, he needed to be tame...for now.

“i would freaking love that” he chuckled, causing you to smirk at his response.

“i’m glad you accepted my confession, i would have given you the silent treatment if i really tried” jisung pouted, making a fake angry expression, crossing his arms. she gently slapped his shoulder, laughing at the boy’s ridiculous antics. if this what it was like dating park jisung, then bring it on.

//

[ three months later ]

“come on! sungchan shoot!!” ningning’s voice echoed through the stands, the whole crowd geared up for the school’s soccer grand final. y/n and jisung were bundled up together, sipping on their hot chocolates, silently praying for that grand final win. there was only a minute left, jeno passed to sungchan and...he scores!

all the students from their school

jumped up, screaming endless cheers at the team. ningning waved her mini flag she made with sungchan’s face on it, as y/n and jisung hollered with the crowd.

“you did so great out there” y/n complimented her friend, like many times before, pulling him into an embrace. she saw how jisung slightly pouted, missing her warm touch. she slipped perfectly back to his side, his arm instantly wrapped around her waist as the crew made their way to the diner. jisung held y/n back, offering to meet the rest later on. y/n was yet again confused, following her boyfriend’s steps to sit on the bleachers.

“what’s up, sung? everything okay?” she pouts, watching as jisung nervously looks up at her.

“i love you” he blurts out, hands covering his mouth once he does. her eyes widen, not expecting those three words to leave his mouth at all. she pressed her lips into a firm line, her mind comprehending the situation. jisung was left worried, trying to read her expressions as best he could. he hoped he didn’t scare her away, it would completely ruin him.

“you’re just in luck” jisung’s head whipped up and met her. “because i love you too” y/n whispered, inching closer to the boy. his hands gently stroked her cheek, it was slightly cold but she didn’t mind. her lips fanned over his, ready to press them together. as she did so, jisung smiled widely into the kiss, hands coming to squish her cheeks together. it made both of them giggle for a bit, breaking the kiss momentarily. before jisung pulled her back in.

y/n soon realised that she didn’t need to live in fear of rejection any longer. because jisung gave her every ounce of reassurance she needed. the boys from her past slowly fizzled away from her memory, jisung now taking place as the one boy who truly loved her.

a/n: pls let me know what you all think!!