#. i shouldnt. i wont. i wont. but for the record if anyone sees this and wants to do it you SHOULD i wanna see superfam...

[mamawasatesttube]

i know im already running a secret santa for a friendserver im in but ... what if also... a superfam secret santa...

[randaccidents]

ANYWAYS after seeing @twig-gy in my head (hello here is your tag :P) it is clearly time for me to rant about my belief system for Heart and Mind's dynamic.

So, anyone considered the framework of Predator/Prey? Specifically, Predator Heart and Prey Mind?

Think about it. Predators are visceral yet instinctive. The need to Hunt is as natural as feeling an emotion. It is something that is needed to survive. Its Impulse, predators dont necessarily have to think about the act of hunting after all. And predators are violent and aggressive, comes with the territory.

Points at Heart. He is Emotion, he is a natural consequence of living that every being will have even without what humans call sentience. He is something that is needed to survive, and he is violent and aggressive. He attacks Mind physically. Also the gun, the symbol of a hunter. (personal interpretation he also literally hunts Mind during the Juno Incident because I am mean like that and Heart deserves some stalking as a treat)

What about Prey? I am literally stealing some stuff off Watership Down osmosis but. Prey has to be Smart and Sneaking and Cunning to escape from a Predator. Even prey animals that are predators of other animals need to be smart enough to recognise when something is too dangerous to fight. They need to know how to escape, where to escape to, how to fight for the smallest window of opportunity to run, to observe and note what is around them. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.

Points at Mind. He is Logic, he is thinking and planning your way through life. He observes and he mentally records things down. He knows how to argue his way in and out of situations to benefit himself. He outmaneuvers Heart and attacks verbally. He transmutes the pain to kinetic energy and keeps going. He keeps them alive.

Predator and Prey, two aspects of the natural world. Without predators, prey animals would overfeed and kill an ecosystem. Without prey, predators would starve and die out.

Heart and Mind. They hate each other. They need each other. There can be no Thought without Emotion, there can be no Emotion without Thought. Feelings still claw at me Logic will rot in me.

(also just. in more canon cccc terms ignoring my interpretation for a second. shouldnt Mind fear Heart pulling out another gun at him? he needs to be observant and fast and cunning or the next gun will be so fast he wont see it coming)

[schaarfyx]

lil teaser for chapter 4

Just for the record, I am very sorry for the royals and I know my chapter 4 didnt age very well, but this is a small part of chapter 4 its not proof read or finished but this is what I have done for my way to and from school/work, its just not even written fully because I fellt lazy and didnt want to write what they where doing the while time so that might or might not be added later, it could also be that i really dont like this later or this wont be able to be put into the story, so I hope you are all alright with that. Still have fun reading this small thing for your happyness.

"So, what do you say? You wanna come be in the chapel with me? Or would you like to see it from the TV with the others?" I was walking around with Tommy, as I have been for the last hour, after our talk in the palace we decided that it would be best for us to go outside and get some fresh air.

"I dont even know what to do in there, wouldn't it be weird for me to be inside there when you are there too? Not even speaking about the whole royal family and the other important people of .. well the whole world?! I wouldnt even get the chance to talk to anyone." He anwsered with a slight laugh, I understood that he would be bored in there but it could also be a really cool video if he where to film it.

"What if you wore a bodycam so that you could make a vlog about it? It could make alot of views especially from thr point of view from someone inside the chapel not someone who where look at it from the TV. I also would like someone there that isnt from around my family, i dont even really know what they do around, well, everywhere."

"Well, you make a good argument but isn't that for like, special people. For example ministers, church peolpe and royal family? It would be weird for me to be in there with your siblings, seeing as I cant really be besides you can I?"

"I mean, I guess looking from your side of the story, I guess? But it would really help me alot because I am still not really over the dead of them, all of them not just her.. and my siblings are just like me, you might not be able to talk in the chapel but you can do an interview with me before and after if you want to. You would be the first and last reporter to be talking to me, and you could film some 'behind the scenes' from it." I air coated.

"It's still a few days away so you still have time to decide, it would be fun tho. So just think about it alright?" I looked over to him, he was looking at the ground and then back to the horizon where i could start to see people walking their dog.

"I'll think about it alright, I'm not making promises or anything but I'll tell you when I did decide." Tommy anwsered solemly.

"I really need tto change a few things around the palace, we dont need to have all those palaces and not live in them. There are poeple who really need a home and here ee are just having a palace with noone living in it except the people who work there." I looked over at Tommy, i could see how the whole death of the queen was gettimg to him.

"I really want to change the royal family's money distrebution too, i dont like that everyone has to have one job or even mire to get over the costs of living and my family just gets handed money for free and do nothing. So as long as they are not working the wont get money for it either, what do you think?"

"Mmh, I get what you mean but i dont think that you could just kick them out or 'fire' them, seeing as they need to have money to survive, you know?"

"I mean, yeah of course but I could get them an ultimatum about when the money wont come to them anymore and if they dont get a job in that time then I dont know why they shouldnt, if they dont have an educazion why didnt they, I certanly had to have one and everyone elso has to have one tobget a job that payes well. So I really hope for then that they got one.

@blease-end-me @lolawassad @wardaykgerblin @noahvlux @theinsanespaceship15 @crystal-multiplefandomlover

[skittsyteacup]

TW VENT!! dont read if ur sad or smth!!!

i hesitate to write this. genuinely. theres people i know will see it and theres those who wont but i really want to. i dont even feel upset writing this, i feel pretty good actually. i think writing this wont help, i know it wont, but itll be said right? which is better than nothing(maybe). 

some of us, and i wont name, have a horrible habit of checking accounts of people we no longer talk to and wow! you guessed it. exs fall into that. its mainly to see how theyre doing(usually /neg) or cus theyre bored. but we all get those memories. and the pain can meld to others which sucks, really. thankfully this doesnt happen often! but it still happens and it still hurts. an example is one of them sent a anon tell to an ex of ours asking if they checked their exs accounts. part of the reason why other than curiosity was because we were a little suspicious they sent us tells n shit. im more confident they dont now after a bit of research but we cant talk in headspace easily. and even so who wants to talk about their bad habits? not them. but to the actual point, ive had nightmares my whole life. i dont have dreams anymore as far as i can tell, they always morph their way into something i dont count as a decent thing. and more often than not ive found someone from our past whos hurt us a lot is always there. we had one with a man named steven who ruined our childhood a couple days ago. we screamed at him about how we hate him so fucking much and personally? thats progress! we recognize we didnt deserve it. we recognize that it was wrong and he deserves to burn. 

but quite a few of these nightmares have our most recent ex. since theyre not almost dead like steven i wont name them, ill refer to them as K. im not sure theyll see any of this. part of us hopes they will. part of me hopes that too. id like to help set the record straight.

we dated them for a year and a few days. we met on discord and grew close in a short amount of time. they were 16, i was 14. theyre 18 and im 16 now. so its been almost 2 years, its been 2 years since we met though. the relationship was good as far as i knew but now as ive grown i realize even if the age gap isnt big, thats 2 different maturities. they were hypersexual, i was asexual. the pressure made me graysexual and im also now hypersexual(in a way). i felt bad for saying no, which made me what others see as a shy partner who relies on their s/o to function. i felt bad that i didnt rely on them to exist, as if theyd get mad at me for not needing them to breath. and i think i was right too. even if they think now ‘no i wouldnt of’, i know that that would upset them. because in a way, a twisted way, thats upsetting to someone who wants to be your whole world. they want you to only need them. theyve probably changed. i hope theyve changed. 

but someone stalked their tellonym the other day to see the answer to the tell they sent and they found something else, im quoting so i dont fuck it up,  “whats your opinion on a partner that is being shy?”                                        “it’s whatever but i can’t stand overly shy partners like i’m not going to do everything for you. my ex was like that and it drove me fucking insane”              i want to scream and yell that ‘you did this, this is your fault, it was and still is a problem you created’ but ive grown too. we’ve grown. but i want to talk about how youre wrong, K. how wrong you are. you got upset when i told you no, when i wasnt ready to fuck, when i had issues sleeping, when i hung out with anyone, when my constant attention wasnt on you. you probably dont remember it like that, and thats ok but it wont change my memory in any way. you can shit talk me and i know you have about things you shouldnt. you can get angry over this. i hope you do in a healthy way and right now some of us disagree with me hoping that. back to the topic at hand, though, i felt like you would hurt me if i didnt get your permission or do something you didnt like. maybe thats why i got called co dependent. and i dont mean physically, that youd hurt me like that, i meant mentally. i wouldve dont the physical part. i know i wouldve. i know all of us wouldve. an unspoken part of our brain thought if we didnt then we didnt love you. i remember one time, i was up past 12. you woke up and saw. you got upset, made me feel like the worst person because i wasnt asleep. i went into another room and hyperventilated, having one of the worst panic attacks ive ever had. thankfull i was too distraught to search for anything harmful, and the house was small(we all slept in the living room, the other 3 rooms were in shambles(kitchen worked a little)) so searching for stuff was noisy already. and i knew if i relapsed you would make it about you. which is another thing. i dont think you ever realized it. i could never bring it up either for that reason. i didnt like talking to you about my issues because id just end the topic feeling worse than i started, but this time id also feel like i hurt you. and since you didnt like me talking to other people, and when i was i had to tell you, i just never said anything. and when id have doubts about our relationship, like i felt like you didnt love me/i didnt know how to handle something with you/you did something i didnt like/i noticed a red flag/you think im cheating, i didnt have anyone to talk to. i think i didnt break up with you because i never vocalized my doubts too. i did ask my friends during our half ass break if i seemed like a cheater, if i was like one, if i had tendencies of one. ive been cheated on before and i personally dont think im like one at all but others insight helps a lot! they said no, though, but part of me is still scared they lied. it doesnt matter much anymore though. anyway. to continue on your wrongdoings of a sort, you also accused me of cheating many times within the last week or two of our relationship because i 1) didnt let you log into my discord, you never told me why you wanted to and i wasnt ready to talk to you about a few things until i saw you(or was supposed to) 2) called you a new petname, i called you a lot of things related to the moon i dont understand why that upset you 3) everyone you talked to about us said i was cheating(ill admit, im still a bit disappointed your mom thought that too.). i cant think of anything else at the moment. but still its all bad, right? i dont know anymore. i still feel like i deserved everything you did to me. but ive been told i dont. that i didnt deserve the sexual pressure and the sexualization, that i deserved a nurturing relationship. but you still helped shape who i am now, mostly for the worst, but i know what not to do now so thats something?

im gonna end this here. its long enough, ill continue at a later date if i need to, reblogging is a thing here. i just needed somewhere to say this. theres more to say but god this is long?? enough for now??? and i need to do other things. on a side note, i hope osiris is doing well.

[kdramachitchat]

Episode 4 -- It takes a village to raise a child. Lee’s trial resulted to 30 floggings. We also find out more about Yohan’s older brother Isaac and the story behind the fire.

Episode 4 starts right off with the 1st trial of Lee Youngmin who is the son of Ms Cha. The trial ended and Judge Yohan gave words of encouragement to Judge Oh saying that both of them are a team. With a ecstatic producer, they were able to capture the moment on video. For sure their ratings will sky rocket even more.

Yohan receives a call from Cha and she asks why is he going this far & replies that she should ask her own son instead of him. Yohan added a rhetorical question on why Lee keeps on treating people like dirt. A person going through alot resulting to lose of control with his own temper is not an excuse. Cha defending her son saying he’s not a bad person. Yohan talks back and asks her if she was this relaxed while she’s a prosecutor. Yohan ended the phonecall and Cha demands that they meet in person.

Yohan and Cha discusses the result of her son’s trial

Cha is determined to change the result of her son’s first trial. Yohan says that her son is only being sentenced by the law. Cha didnt believe what he’s saying and says that he’s only doing this to get to her. Cha asks if there’s anything Yohan wants from her and wants a statement that doesnt include something obvious like justice. She knows that he wants power to gain popularity and suggests to give him a better case. He mentioned that there’s a case 19 yrs ago where she investigated a young politician with a bright future for bribery. At the time he hadnt taken any bribes. She investigated him and received a guilty verdict. Yohan mentions that the man is a trademark of morals and sadly took his own life, leaving behind his middle school son. Yohan asks Cha if she ever thought about that case during her career of 19 years. Cha defended herself that the case was legal. If she wants her son’s case to be let go she has to follow Yohan’s orders. Yohan ordered to tell the media the truth of that case.

Ga On asks Soohyun if he could meet the officer who investigated the fire 10 years ago. His call suddenly gets interrupted when Yohan came in the room. Ga On looks completely well but why hasn’t he left the mansion yet? As Yohan said, looks like he’s trying to find something. Ga On tells him that he’s not interested in other people’s business. Yohan then invited him somewhere and chooses his outfit for him.

SRF Party -- Gaon becomes a hit with the ladies & gets introduced to influential players. He also learns more about Yohan and the rich.

Yohan brings Ga On to the Social Responsibility Foundation party and Ms Sun Ah formally introduces herself to Ga On. Ga On then gets flocked by influential women and compliments how handsome he is. He got introduced by the wives of Chairman Park who owns Saram Media, Chairman Min who owns Minbo Group, Kim Sang Sook, Pi Hyang Mi. They complemented him saying that he’s a rising star. The women starts to ask for pictures and he gets extremely uncomfortable with the attention. Yohan observes from afar and seems happy that he’s getting the attention. Yohan saves him from the attention and excuses Ga On. The ladies talk behind his back making comments on how long Ga On can last working for Yohan. SunAh also makes a comment that Ga On is Yohan’s chaperone. He then officially gets introduced to Park Duman (Chairman of People’s Media Group), Min Yongsik (Chairman Of Minbo Group). The President arrives and the event starts. Chairman Seo being the bastard he is touching a server’s lower. SunAh noticed that she’s severely shaking while serving him water, stopped him and punched Chairman Seo in private. During their private conversation looks like SunAh is the leader over the 2.

Yohan makes a speech especially to the President and asks him if it has to be Cha who will protect his fortunes. The President agrees and says that it doesnt have to be Cha who’ll take part on the next presidency. The President says that the next candidate has to be someone who is popular amongst commoners and needs to have a strong background story. What about Yohan? Ga On quietly observes the situation from afar and notices how the huge players are bunch of crazy lunatics.

Ga On stays away from the dinner and has a private discussion with SunAh. SunAh starts discussing about the church fire from 10 yrs ago and mentions that there was a event that day that wasnt reported. Yohan’s older brother wanted to sign a contract stating that he’ll donate his wealth to the SRF. Then suddenly a huge fire broke out that day, coincidence i think not. SunAh tells Ga On that Isaac and his wife died due to the fire. Yohan is alive and the first thing he did after leaving the hospital was to cancel the donations made by his brother. In advance, Yohan brought a doctor’s note saying that Isaac had a weak mind and was incapble of making sound decisions. To think that Yohan did all of this right after his brother died. SunAh gets effected whenever the live show happens because of this situation.

Ga On and Yohan drives back to the mansion in silence. Ga On comments on the observation he made with the rich. Yohan tells him that both the rich and poor are the same when they’re in front of greed.

Lee Youngmin’s second trial

Ms Cha receives a call saying that they want her to deal with her son’s case alone. She also thinks about the choice Yohan gave her during their private discussion. Then a flashback about the wife and husband talking about their son’s case. The husband only cares about their son and not about the titles or the money. He knows that their son wont last a day in prison. The father seem to have more heart than Cha. Cha promises to get their son out even if she has to sacrifice herself. Looks like she has made her decision. Ms Cha then does a press conference and apologizes to the public for damage control. She’ll do this for her own gain and betrayed her son.

The 2nd trial begins with defending the defendant’s actions, citing examples that he grew up alone and the staff were found by him stealing things. With lack of parental love and attention he grew up to become a obsessive and aggressive behavior. They also brought up his results to the screens. They also gave out reasons that the lack of care from the parents resulted him to act that way and mentions for the court to be more generous. Since the prison is made from the tax payer’s money shouldnt Lee compensate to those who are hard working? They made a point and Yohan agreed. Yohan agreed with the statement and came up with appropriate punishment for Lee.

The punishment wouldnt cost any and the defendant will not be isolated from the society, itll only inflict temporary pain. Flagellation. Ga On once again is shocked by the result. Yohan also adds that the society should give the flagellation to him on his parents’ behave. A man once said, “It takes a village to raise a child.”

They show different victims like his own company staff, the restaurant staff, the poor man who he hit and the the rest of the public agreeing with the sentence.

Lee suddenly goes whack and makes crazy comments about the court system. He even knelt down infront of Judge Yohan and apologized. Yohan ofcourse being strict with the sentence announced that he will receive 30 floggings. He also adds that the floggings appears to be the minimum and most humanitarian sentence that he will give. The flogging should be done with transparency and will be watched by the entire nation. The embarrassment.

Ms Cha was also seen signing the sentence agreement with difficulty.

Fire Investigation

Soohyun and Ga On visits a restaurant and talks to Detective Park discussing about the fire incident that happened 10 yrs ago. Park has mentioned that his father goes there for service and Soohyun commented that there wasn’t any service that day due to the charity event that took place. She also added that that there were no records on who attended the charity event. Ga On butts in and asks that the cause of the fire is still unknown. Park mentions that the church was located in a old school building made of wood, nothing was left after it was burnt down. Soohyun asked if he got a statement from Yohan, if he saw anything. The man says that he only visited Yohan once but didnt remember much from the incident which was understandable, saying during the time he was surrounded by chaos.

Once the live court was over, Ga On makes a comment that Yohan cancelled the deed of convent that his own brother wrote. Wouldnt that be a motive for a crime?

Yohan’s cruel past still haunts him

Yohan and Ga On are back at the mansion. Ga On argues with Yohan and says that he’s only doing this for fun. Adding that he only does this to anyone who gets into his way especially his brother. This made Yohan pay more attention. Yohan’s anger becomes explosive after Ga On made a comment on how cruel he is.  Ga On apologized after hearing the story from Yohan. Yohan realizes how people love tragic stories.

Verena Church

Isaac gave out his donation, the people that were involved are the same people who are are part of the live court. The President, Minister Of Justice, etc. Smoke was coming through the door and a fire exploded which burnt down the entire church. Yohan was nowhere to be seen. Elijah calling out for her mother. Who caused the fire? Yohan suddenly saw the church burning and went in and see Isaac, Elijah and Minister Of Justice in scrambles. Isaac is suffering from the smoke while Cha was trying to escape not bothered to save Elijah at all. Isaac saw all of this happening and saved Elijah. Is this the reason why he resents Ms Cha? Yohan tries to save both Isaac and Elijah but they got hit by a wood with fire. Elijah got paralyzed. Isaac didnt survive and before his final breath he told Yohan to get out. Yohan didnt want to but he promises to come back. The fire died down, Yohan survived and saw the same firefighter stealing Isaac’s watch. the firefighter didnt even bother saving Yohan and Elijah or at least helping out to remove Isaac’s dead body. Yohan got out of the church and noticed all of the others who survived especially Minister Of Justice. The cruelty of those people, only saving themselves made Yohan burst into anger.

He’s definitely out to get those influential people who survived the fire especially Minister Of Justice.

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Hi I really like reading your posts. I was wondering what you're thinking about Deku saving Shigaraki. Like I reaally want Shigaraki saved but "Deku, someone who worships heroes, saving Shigaraki, someone who was failed by heroes and society of heroes- wait no "hero society", which makes Shigaraki forget his and his friends' pain" just sounds kinda fake to me.

Thank you, i am glad you like it :))).

And yeah, i think Shigaraki should be saved. If i summarize with three simple reasons;

1- This is who Deku is. Deku is a kind person who will try to save anyone who need help. Thats lliterally the core of his character and thats why i love him.

2- Shigaraki is victim who needs to be saved, thats literally main theme of his character. How he needed a hand. All his backstory is about, yeah he is villain but he was literally forced to be one. I find his character more interesting every time he shows positive character development. I love that even though he is actually the victim who looks like monster from outside.

3- This is a true hero story. Its about learning to be real hero, saving people, changing things for better. This is the main theme of story. And this is why i am into this series.

Basicaly Deku should save Shigaraki but how he will do that? Right now, is Deku ready to save him? I dont think so. The reason is just like every character Deku has flaws too.

In war arc, he was okay with Shigaraki’s being destroyed by Endeavour and others but when Shigaraki fight back, he didnt only get mad but also tried to kill Shigaraki too.

Of course, Shigaraki shouldnt kill people and Deku will be sad cause their life has worth but what about Shigaraki’s life? What about villain’s life? Are they no worthy to be saved in heroes’s eyes? Are they less worthless? If you get villain record, will you lose you worth in society’s eyes? Even when society reject you, do you still have to silencely obey it? Even though, people have their breaking point, even though its impossible to not react when you reached breaking point but you still magically endure pain that caused by failure of system?

Answer is yes. This is how hero society work right now. Whether they dont understand or accept the fact that a good person will ever be villain. This is why villains are seen as monsters. They are not part of everyone that heroes will try to save. This is how Deku and others are raised to believe. They dont understand cause they are still accepted by society, they dont understand the feelings of someone who wasnt saved. This is why they obey the system and believe what they are told.

Deku understood that Shigaraki is someone who needs to be saved but even after seeing Shigaraki lie that, he still hoped that if Shigaraki's ending.

‘Dont wake up, Shigaraki, please dont move’ yeah, right, it would be better if Shigaraki just dies cause he is the one who cause trouble to everyone, right? Deku should save everyone so Deku has to destroy the problem. After all, Shigaraki isnt someone who is part of everyone, right?

Deku is someone who is failed by system too, he is failed by people around him too. But when Shigaraki talks about failure of system and heroes, Deku simply ignores it.

Deku is like this cause society is like this. In here, villains have no worth. Thats what system taught them. Basically, there is no way Deku can truly save Shigaraki, without seeing the failues of system.

Deku should change his mindset and see worth in villain’s life too. He should challenge system that destroy people’s life. Otherwise, how can Deku reach out to Shigaraki?

Shigaraki is the voice of every victim of this story. He is the blowback. To save Shigaraki means changeing society. Changing society means saving Shigaraki and people like Shigaraki. Its the same thing.

Shigaraki wont forget anything, even he want to, he cant. This is why he is speaking up to heroes to change things. Even all those destruction is to change things. Not just Shigaraki, league, they all are telling society that things can not continue the way it is. You can not just act like nothing happened. Past wont be erased.

So; Saving Shigaraki should happen with society’s changing. His ending shouldnt be like ‘throwing him a place like tartarus’. Deku should give Shigaraki teraphy, an enivronment he can heal but also he can pay for his crimes. Their pain shouldnt be ignored. It should be acknowledged. Thi is what league is fighting for. When people acknowledging their pain, i think they wont have to fight anymore.

Why would they reject the society that finally give them a healthy environment, helping them to heal and finally accept them?

Thats all they wanted, after all. Of course, there might be people who can stuck with past but i think league dont want that. They want to heal, they want to move on past. The reason they were stuck with past is not because they dont want to heal but they cant. They just want to cronfront main problem which is what should happen to truly move one from past. And this is why they are changing for better through story cause they want to change. Its not fake, its just how things should be and thats how they would react, i think.

[madisonrooney]

i havent posted about this much but my covid anxiety has been bad, like this whole time. which shouldnt be surprising if you know how bad my germaphobia/ocd/anxiety is, plus the fact that i have a clean freak mom who obsesses over all of that even more than i do and enables all of those things and im not used to doing anything without her say so (and dont get me wrong she means well, shes just over protective and cant help herself)

ive had multiple relapses/panic attacks simply over touching things that other people have touched. and for the record, with the exception of a small few brief unplanned run-ins from a distance, i havent seen anyone besides my parents in almost 8 months. i havent been inside a single building besides my house or their respective houses. ive also been entirely alone at my house for 2 of those 8 months.

but dont get me wrong, im fine not seeing anyone and if i have to do it for another 8 months i will. its comforting bc i feel safer that way (if just touching something gives me anxiety, imagine how bad id be like going out to eat or something), and im a pretty solitary person as it is. im LOVING just hanging at my house by myself, staying up as late as i want, and doing things ive been meaning to do for literal years like binge watching certain shows.

but thats not my point. my point, which may sound dumb but hear me out, is that i havent hugged someone or had any kind of physical affection in almost 8 months. im getting touch starved, but like in a platonic way. i wont even let my mom put her hand on my shoulder. she says its okay for us to hug (she!! whos even more afraid of this than i am!!) bc the only people she sees from outside of her household are outside, from a distance, with masks on, etc. but i still wont let her. back in april when my grandma died, my mom and i were both too afraid to hug each other. albeit we didnt know as much about covid then as we do now but it still feels wrong.

im alone rn and my mom wont be back for 2 weeks but i think im gonna say fuck it then cuz i think i need a hug from her. im having a shit night tonight and i would give anything for a hug, and i think its even harder given that i havent had one in 8 months. plus shell be here for both my and her birthdays so ill want to for that sake.

im glad i have my kitties to hug tho

[adlexegam]

please tell me, am i in the wrong?

so basically i decided to join here cause i at least know my post wont get removed here. i tried posting my story on reddit’s AITA but my post kept getting removed because on their posts you cant post about abuse. so fuck it, here i am, hoping for someone other than my bf and myself to tell me im not wrong. context:i decided to invite my boyfriend over without telling my parents, i did it max 5 times. i was 16 at the time and he was 18. i got caught and my punishment was to get my phone taken away, my number cancelled, im no longer allowed to drive a car or get my license, im only allowed one friend, im not allowed my laptop anymore, im no longer allowed outside without constant supervision, cameras were installed in and out of the house, and just about every day since december of 2019 ive been getting told how disgusting i am for wanting to be with a n****r (my bf’s half puerto rican half white, i’m half hispanic and half white too), how if he was white he would have come to the front door and shook my parent’s hands and asked for permission to date their daughter, how im a dirty n****r lover who will get pregnant from him and have to slave away to take care of our half breed mistakes, how if i stay with him he’ll sell my body on the streets for money, how if i have sex with him ill get every std on the plant, all that 50′s bullshit. ive gotten pregnancy tested (im celibate), drug tested (mom claims she smelled weed in my room, so he’s a dirty n****r drug dealer apparently forcing me to do drugs, guess what i am against drugs since i know itll change my brain chemistry and i have weak lungs),and std tested (still celibate).  for the first few months after they found out i was allowed my laptop at home to do homework, and only allowed my phone during school. one day i got home and i got greeted to the fact that i no longer have a laptop and now have to use the house computer to do all my work at home. of course i got mad because for months ive been doing everything they wanted, and suddenly im being punished for being suspiciously good? my mom got on top of me and fought me to take off my backpack to take my airpods too, left my phone on the kitchen table. i grabbed my phone and locked myself in my room. she found out i took my phone, and once i unlocked the door i held my phone above my head so we can just talk. instead she got on top of me and started scratching me and all over my arms to get to my phone. i dropped it from the pain of the scratches on my arms. earlier that same day i was getting ready for school with my laptop open, camera taped over, looking for any school assignments i missed. my mom unlocked my door and saw my nude body getting ready with my laptop open, and just went back to the kitchen table and told my dad how much of a slut i am and how im posting my nude body on the internet. i quickly put on clothes and came up to her yelling how im just getting ready for school and how theres tape over the camera. i even told her to look at the laptop, the only thing open was google classroom. my dad got up and started yelling at me for being a slut and for talking back. for once i finally got tired of being yelled at, i finally stood up for myself. he punched me in the face and when my mom got in between to defend me (she caused the whole situation), his swings went back in on her stomach. i screamed dont hit my mother and tried to push her off him, he used the oppurtunity to grab my shoulder by my uniform and punch me in the shoulder. everything was a blur after that. my mother drove me to school and yelled how i shouldnt have been a whore on the internet. i fought back. before i got to school i yelled “please, just fuck off”. this is important later, because she used me saying that as the excuse for her getting on top of me and scratching me and ripping my backpack off my back. because i swore at her. it was okay. but here’s the important part. he hit me in front of the camera. i knew the police would ignore the emotional abuse ive been getting for my entire life. i got my physical evidence. finally, after 16 years, i had my evidence. i told my boyfriend what happened, and we agreed to meet after school the next day and call the police. i wanted to be emancipated, since my parents adamantly agreed that i (apparently) only wanted to be emancipated because my ‘poor street rat n****r boyfriend’ was manipulating me into it. ive been dreaming of this day since i was 8, when i realized what ive been told wasnt normal. they showed up on the corner of where i called. i told the policemen what happened to me the day before. they asked if i had any scars or bruises. i said no, he didnt punch me hard enough to get a bruise the next day, and my mother didnt scratch me hard enough to get scars. they knew what would happen if they gave me physical evidence. after i said that, the policeman interrogating me asked me something that will stay with me until the day i die. “he never really hit you, did he?” i began crying and saying yes! yes he did! i have video footage to prove it! we have cameras in the house! it happened right in front of the cameras! more questions ensued, and i was brought to the police station while my boyfriend waited at a local coffeeshop for me to finally be free from the abuse. at first i was scared, but the cops calmed me down. i told them everything. all my memories spilled from my mouth like water from the niagra falls. everything came rushing out, my fears, my forgotten memories i forced into my box of never to be remembered, the times before i feared for my life, the times i knew something wasnt right. i told them everything from the bottom of my heart. they listened and asked all the right questions.(if you want to know what happened to me and what i told them, ill post them in a future post if anyone cares)  one of the officers, the only one with melanin skin and a father to a beautiful girl, expressively felt sick from my stories, from my life. not even he could understand why, as a father, why any parent would find it right to do to me what they did. he was my favourite police officer, he was the kindest and the only one who really wanted me to feel comfortable. he talked to me on the level of a person, not a child. eventually cps came and he told me to tell her everything too. i did. she asked where i wanted to go if i got emancipated. i said to live with my boyfriend, his family is willing to take me in and once i get a job ill pay minimal rent so i can be free. she said ‘no, you cant live with a minor.’ i said he’s not a minor, he’s 18. she said ‘oh, then yeah you definetly cant live with him’ she said if i wanted to leave i would be put into a women’s shelter since i was too old to be adopted/put into foster care. she said i would be r*ped if i was put in there. she said i should just take it until im 18, then ill be fine. she said that there were no scars or bruises, so it wasnt that bad. (this part is blurry, the more i remember it the more the memories overlap, im sorry for any confusion) the police interrogated my parents. they believed every word they said. my mother used whitepages as a source to prove how my boyfriend lied about his name. my mother used our hours long calls to prove how im obviously being manipulated to lie. she said how im just a liar, as my father said, a pathological liar. they had no cause to me being a pathological liar, i was just born that way. i was lying to get into my manipulative boyfriend’s arms for my body to be used by him and his friends. i was obviously being manipulated, why would i want to leave my loving parents arms? i was obviously doing this just out of anger of getting my laptop and phone taken away, obviously. its not like they EVER did anything wrong to me, they were just teaching me to grow up a mature adult, ready for the world. they would never put their hands on me. the police never looked at the cameras. they never questioned me again. i was a liar. at home the child protective services lady said my room quote ‘ranked of weed’. i have never done weed. my boyfriend has never done weed in my room.  at the station they said they couldnt find a record of my boyfriend. i later found out that, even after he gave them his social security number, they still questioned his existence. at the station they told my parents they couldnt find his record (he has none, hes never committed a crime). at home a therapist came. to my knowledge, my boyfriend was never real (no record) and i would still have to be at home. i wanted to die. the therapist said she wanted to take me to a mental hospital. my mom was there and consented. my dad later came home, yelled at me in front of the therapist. she said im suicidal, with his consent she would call her supervisor to take me to the local mental hospital. he consented. while she called her supervisor from across the kitchen, he said: “she wants to kill herself? fuck if i care, she can drown herself in a river for all i care” i sat there shocked.  the mental hospital was a blur. once i got home i got my phone taken away too. my only communication would be from the 10+ year old computer we have in the kitchen. facing out so anyone that walks by can see what im doing. one of the cameras is watching me at all times, but is positioned so that it cant see what i am doing.  once i got home i used our kindle fire. i logged into discord on incognito mode. i asked him to send me his birth certificate. was he even real? was i even real? was our late nights of cuddling nothing? were the walks in the park nothing? were the ‘i love you’s nothing? did meeting his family from an hour long train ride mean nothing? were the chinese food dates nothing? were the confessions of our embarassing secrets nothing? were the times we had non-vaginal sex and laughed in the middle from how silly we were being mean nothing? were the times we had tiffs and talked it out mean nothing? did he save me from my ex-abusive partner just to use me? were the times we layed down next to each other with the only covering being my blanket, staring at each other in wonder of how lucky each of us were, was that nothing? when we spent hours telling each other our  entire life stories, was he lying? did the times he called my body the most beautiful thing he ever has seen, the times he’s said he didnt think he’d ever fall in love again from his ex, was that a lie? he sent his birth certificate. it was real. his birth date his name it was all real. he told me what happened to him. i told him what happened to me. he apologized for it going the way it did. i apologized for doubting him. child protective services sent a therapist me and my mother had to meet with weekly. 2 hours, 10 times. it lasted until the first weeks of quarantine. me and him are still in the same love we’ve has since before he found out how truly insane my parents are. the only reason we’ve ever gotten into fights is from how much he wants me to run away (before you say ‘ok maybe the parents were right, he sounds manipulative’, no, he only says that after every time something else happens at home and how he has to cope with the fact that im okay with being abused since its my normal. he wants me to run away from the abuse, not just so we can see each other again, so i wont be hurt anymore). he’s still the man i want to marry, the man i want to call mine and for him to call me his. we get scared the other might get tired of the waiting and just decide to leave for someone each other’s family would like. we talk through it. we know we can wait. i know i can take it until im 18. he knows he’ll be prepared to take me in once im 18. we know we can take the late nights awake, missing each other. we can take it because this isnt puppy love. this isnt purely passionate love. he wants me to be safe, and i want to finally be free. so you’re up to this point and you’re probably thinking one of three things: jesus christ can this lady capitalize anything?? or holy FUCK this is long it better be good or why did she title her post that? first of all, i do what a want nehenehenehneh second of all, whoever reads this needs the full context before i ask my question third of all, because of what happened a couple of days ago. a month ago my dad passed from covid-19. ive become the housewife while my mother has taken over the family business and my brother does the grass once a month. my mother still cooks, but i clean the dishes and fold laundry every day and vaccuum the whole house twice a week. a letter came in the other day stating how our child protective services case is now closed. they never found signs of physical abuse or neglect. my mother reminded me for the infinitieth time how stupid i am for getting manipulated. how much of a dirty n*****r lover i am. how i will never be anything without her. then she brought my father into this i started the situation, which made him depressed. he was depressed, so he couldnt fight off the virus. because he couldnt fight off the virus, he died. she blamed me for killing my father she blamed me for my father for deciding to go out every day without a mask for my father deciding to put in his eyedrops in an insanitary environment she blamed me  it was my fault i knew i was leaving when im 18 i knew i wanted to tell my mother at least a month before i left that i was leaving but now theres no going back once im 18, im gone im never turning back i will never be treated like this or talked down like this ever again but who will clean? who will vaccuum? who will make sure the house is organized? do i stay? can i even go? i just dont know anymore should i go? and well, what i started this post with, please tell me, am i in the wrong? for planning on leaving when im 18? to finish this post, i just want to say a few things. dont tell me to call the police or child protective services.i already did. they believed my abusive parents and told them how they can protect themselves against me, since i was the one who started all this. plus, look at the fucking news. no fucking wonder they believed my parents. my boyfriend looks hispanic and i look white. no fucking wonder they believed my parents. fuck cops. not all cops are bad, but no cop should fucking gun down people for their race. no person should be judged from some racist  person saying “oh im fearing for my life” and the person in question is black/a poc and is doing fucking nothing. they believed my fucking abusive parents because they threw my bf under the bus as bait and the police went for it. dont come after my family. all that will do is make everything worse for me. my mother can’t even look at a poc without claiming they’re related to my boyfriend and are going to follow her to kill her. dont do anything to me. just please answer my question. please just tell me if im in the right or if im in the wrong. i know this is abuse. i know whats happening to me is wrong. but i know i can take it. i know i can survive. i will survive and achieve my dream of becoming a doctor. i will be my own person. i am me

[wailingintothevoid]

Hello World

So here I am, sat here in front of my computer in a profound funk.

I am not here for the likes or validation, I’m not even seeking like minded people. This is just my stream of consciousness, that inner conversation I’m always having with myself, just finally put down somewhere.

Why? Is there any point to recording all this? Probably not, but it might at least increase my typing speed, so I guess theres something in that...

If anything this is an exercise in trying to look after my own mental health just a little bit, perhaps somewhere deep down I want to finally share the thoughts I have, even if I don't really want anyone I actually know to read these thoughts.

The world of late hasn’t been the greatest place, to date this post the world is in the grips of the COVID-19 pandemic as I type. So where does that leave me? On the other side of the world from where I was born, where everything I knew and my safety net lies. Now don’t get me wrong, I was the one who wanted to leave all of that behind, I wasn’t exactly happy there either. I know just enough about myself to say with decent certainty that I won’t ever be truly happy (though what even is happiness? I guess thats the subject of another post). After years of yearning to move, studying language, studying, saving, generally being a massive weeb but in denial of it all, I moved to Japan. Like so many other people, I started 2020 a somewhat hopeful individual. A point only worth mentioning because I haven’t been hopeful for many years, and I guess given how things currently are, there’s a reason for that. The company I came here with folded, I don’t think its entirely due to the pandemic, it had some pretty serious problems even before then. You can only imagine how I felt when I got there, first proper day in the office, and I started to get an idea of what this company actually did on the day to day. I was scared, I couldn’t see any future for this company. Fuck I hate it when I’m right... well, only when I’m right about these things, I don’t view myself as a pessimist, more a realist, though perhaps thats just me running away from my problems again. But I digress, COVID-19 was the last nail in the coffin for my ex-company and in the middle of a state of emergency declaration I was told to head into the office for a meeting, that I already knew was because I was being laid off. I had actually been looking into the job market for a few weeks at this point.

I find myself at some sort of ethical dilemma, though I’m not even sure if its an ethical one or what. I don’t like screwing people over, but the world seems intent on telling me that the only way to get ahead in life is by screwing people over. An example, I started at my now ex-company full of a naive hope, I was viewing it as a temporary job anyway, just something to get my foot in the door. I hated it, I was promised that I would have things to do, problems to solve. I did not... perhaps I was finishing my tasks too quickly? I don’t know, I really shouldnt just put all the blame onto other people, theres nothing to be gained in becoming the victim, I need to truely make an effort to identify where I went wrong, I’m not trying to put all of the blame on myself mind you, I’m still pretty pissed off at the people who played a role in this situation, that doesn’t change, but ignoring my own role in this all means I wont be able to avoid making the same mistake in the future. And lord knows I’m great at making mistakes...

Perhaps there isn’t an optimal path through life, and no matter how perfectly you make decisions, circumstance is always there to just fuck you...

I had thought I had made fairly reasoned decisions in coming here, in taking that job that I knew wasn’t going to be fun, or even rewarding from the challenge. No one could have predicted the pandemic, I don’t think I was wrong in not factoring that into my calculations...

I don’t know, but I think that's enough catharsis for one sitting, my head feels at least a bit clearer, no doubt thanks to the mess that is now spilt all over my screen.

Will I continue this exercise? probably... maybe, I have toyed with the idea of blogging to clear my thoughts for a long time, and today finally, in a massive bout of doubt and self hate I created a tumblr account just cause I didn’t want to pay money to put this down, why didn't i just write this in a book? or type it up on notepad you ask? I think because even if I don't particularly want to know the reader, hell, I’m not even sure if I want this to be read, but that possibility is somehow the point of the exercise. I on occasion read things like this on reddit, or even having come from tumblr, and while I never feel compelled enough to reach out to the person behind the writing, I find a modicum of solace from knowing that there are like minded people out there. So strange to realise that I am actively seeking connect with people, while also trying to avoid connection...

What do I even want?

[mare-sanguis]

So I had this weird dream where I was trapped inside a mirror world. After I woke up my brain went like "thats it- write a fucking Scary Stories fix it fanfic/ one shot"

So in this OS/ff I'm gonna focus on Chuck (and the Auggie x Chuck ship)(because he baby) and how hes stuck in some kind of other world (influenced by the celtic "anderswelt/ other world"). Its just a snipped- theres going to follow more. There will be some hidden meanings and symbols.(will fix grammar mistakes later)

Maybe the one person who will read it catches the first hidden meaning

At first Chuck was mad at Stella.

That she let the monster take Auggie away. Let him getting dragged away.

They showed him the place- the place he went lost. In his own goddamn bedroom.

He saw the dragging marks on the floor. And seeing this made him angry.

There were still things he wanted to do with his friends, and seeing them going missing wasnt one of this.

And this all started because she picked up this stupid book.

And now? Now he was going to disappear to. Surrounded by pale women- she forcing him into a hug, finally swolling him whole.

Now he wasnt going to miss Auggie any more.

Sounded really sad but it was the reality now- for him.

And maybe he would stop feeling like this towards his friend.

Maybe he would stop feeling anything.

But on the other habd- maybe he would be trapped in a void, still being the same person, still feeling the same things he did when he was alive. The things he would get judged for in his hometown. The things he would get judged for if he would ever tell anyone.

Now, the moment the pale woman was about to swallow him whole he started to panic.

It was like in his dreams all over again.

And he never felt felt like his friends took him serious. Took the dreams serious.

The moment they went to look for the records of Sarah, walking down the hallway towards the R.E.D room he also was about to lose his mind.

Neither Stella nor Ramón listened to him, his worries. Stella just told him to wait there.

Wow what an idea- leaving him there alone while the hospital hallways were filled with nurses and doctors. What a great idea it was. But her head was fully stuck into swooning over their new found friend Ramón.

Totally ignoring his concern. But what ever- this moment he not just felt like a third wheel. No. He was one- literally.

He should have come with them now that he was thinking of it. Shouldnt he?

Either was- this shit sucked.

And now he was trapped here. His friends probably busy with something from much more importance than him.

Searching for a clue, a solution how to stop this madness.

But he wasnt going to witness it anyway - them failing or winning.

Instead he was about to disappear and who knows what would await him on the other side.

His last thoughts drifted away to his sister and how they were able to safe her. She would probably enjoy a life without him- who knows.

And then he was gone.

Swallowed up, whole by the monster from his nightmare. By his own nightmare.

The moment he opened his eyes he was trapped in complete darkness.

No light- just darkness. And emptiness

As he looked down he saw black goo covering the ground. He was sitting in it. Could see a bit of his own reflection.

Well at least he was still this handsome young man like when he was alive.

He sighed and got up- black goo still sticking on him. Hands, clothes, face.

Looking around he saw nothint. No one else was there. It looked completely lost. If he really would be stuck here forever he'd go crazy.

Not his favorite idea ot a place to go. Not the best place to go to when dead.

Come to think of- was he even dead? It didnt felt like... dying?

But who was he to know how dying would feel like?

Its his first time dying (?)

Its just that he rather felt alive than dead the moment he got swallowed.

Confusing.

He looked around again. A second time.

Nothing changed.

"Just standing around there wont do anything. Lets go."

He told himself, no clue for what he was even looking for.

But everything was better than just sitting around there doing nothing. He wondered how much time already had passed.

Didnt felt like much- but maybe the time was working differently wherever he was trapped right now.

He really wanted to find out where he was but where to start when theres nothing- just darkness, emptiness.

He sighed again, looking at the black goo on his hands.

What a way to end a life.

Everytime Chuck took a step he got suck a bit into the black shit on the ground. With ever step his breathing got heavier.

Wherever he was- it must be the worst place of it all. He walked and walked, it seemed endless. It all seemed the same.

It felt like hours. Him walking around there. Seemed so sensless all of the sudden. But he didnt give up. He didnt want to- he couldnt. Maybe there was a way out and he just had to search for it.

Did he ever wanted to come back? To his reality? Guess not- not without Auggie.

And just in the right moment he saw something- a door. White. Looked just the same like the ones in the hospital. Two lanterns were placed next to the door. It didnt look very inviting. But what else could happen?

"What else could happen if I take this door? Maybe getting sucked deeper into this shit? Maybe if I take this door I will never come back? I dont even know how deep down it goes down here."

He grabbed the doorhandle anyway and pushed it down, pulling the door open. He was greeting with white lights, it was almost blinding him- such a strong contrast to the darkness behind him.

And he could saw the hospital hallway right in front of him.

All corridors looked the same so it was a suprise for him that he figured out that it was the one where he got swallowed.

And the moment he stepped into the scene it all repeated itself. It felt like a nightmare, he could see himself- running scared, away from the woman. Lost. It was terrifying to watch.

"But at least its just showing me what happened- not that I have to endure it again by myself." He took a deep breath and walked up on of the hallways- trying to ignore what was happening right befor his eyes.

"Its nothing- its just a bad d[...]"

He stopped. His words. His movements.

Because the lights had turned red.

"Ah shit man- are you kidding me? Not again! I already died I cant die again!" He shouted out- watching in horror how his nightmare was walking right towards him.

Wait.

He was already gone.

She couldnt hurt him again.

"I'm dead you cant hurt me!" He shouted towards her.

"Gonna catch me if you can!" And then he started to run. He didnt know where he was running but he was running- and this time he was winning. At least it felt like winning to him. Even if it meant that he would get lost even more.

Well- if he finds a nice place maybe he could stay here. Maybe its better than the cold real life.

The hallway was getting darker again, this time there was fog everywhere - it made breathing heavier and he coughed a few times, rubbing his eyes.

Maybe ge should just stay here. What was the point of even trying to get out.

Chuck stumbled.

Banged his head on a door.

On a door that appeared out of nowhere.

He was sure there wasnt one few moments ago- he was loosing his mind already.

"Its happening already damn." He rubbed his forehead.

The door looked different from the one before.

It was white too- but there were small details caved in the wood of it. It had a doorknob with a symbol on it. He couldnt made out what this symbol was since the fog was blocking his few.

"I just want to take a look if its shitty there I wont pass it."

He looked back- knowing that he still was followed by the pale woman. He could see her.

"Or maybe I will take the risk of what ever is waiting for me on the other side."

He turned the knob around and took a last look at the dark hallway, the nightmare which was almost right behind him.

"Good riddance."

Then he went through the door- and the moment he passed it, it disappeared. So did his unsafe feeling.

But it still was dark. Luckily not as dark as before.

As he looked up he could see the dark sky- it looked just like the one he used to see in his hometown. It looked to normal.

But there werent any people nor animals. Just him and...

And a swaying bridge. Apprearing right before his eyes.

Connecting two cliffs- leading across a deep dark gorge.

And the bridge was a rainbow.

A fucking rainbow. Out of everything he hated the most he got a bridge covered in rainbow colors.

"I hate my not-so-alive life. Rainbow. Fine."

[angrylizardjacket]

a process {John Deacon}

Anon asked: Could you write something where reader (possibly in the band) and deaky are totally in love with each other but both are too shy to say anything and oblivious to see the others feelings but at the end the get together and it’s 100% fluff? Thank u sm your fics are gold

A/N: 3169 words. If I recall, some people wanted some Deaky fic?? He’s so lovely and this was a lot of fun to write!! Again, this is the BoRhap!Deaky. Also I wrote half of this at work; this is university funded fic ladies and gentlemen.

“Alright, boys, jus’ letting you know we’ve got a new intern in today; Y/N, she’s going to be shadowing me.” The sound designer, Earl, a skinny gentleman who always seemed to be wearing black, denim shorts no matter the weather, announces your arrival over the microphone to the recording studio where the band was discussing what song to practice next. In the next moment, you have four pairs of eyes all watching you through the glass of the sound studio, and you give a nervous wave back.

“Hello.” You offer, awkwardly, and Earl leans in to the microphone on the desk.

“She says hello.” He informs the others, and you feel like an idiot. Fortunately, the men all wave back, giving quick greetings of their own, before going back to their discussion.

“They’re good.” Earl, pulled up a spare chair for you by the desk, checking the levels as they started up on a new song. From anyone else, the words would sound like a mild compliment at best, but from Earl, who you’ve known practically forever, he was a friend of the familys’, and he did not shy away from complaining about the ‘teeny bopper drivel’ he had to make sound half-decent, you knew it was closer to a round of applause.

“Intern? Does that mean you get us drinks?” They’re actually recording now, one at a time, while the rest of them lounged around on the other side of the room with you. You’re perched on the edge of your chair by the sound desk when the drummer, Roger, speaks to you. Their lead singer, Freddie was at that moment, currently in the recording studio, crooning into the microphone with his headphones on, and it takes you a moment to turn and consider what he had said.

“I mean… yeah, I guess?” Looking to Earl to either confirm or deny the request, he’s focused on the sound desk, just waves you off with a distracted affirmation. A grin stretches over Roger’s face.

“Bourbon, thanks.” And his grin only got wider at your sudden confusion.

“Water for him.” Pipes up the bass player, John, sitting against the wall with his ankles crossed, smiling up at you. “And one for me too, if it’s not too much trouble.” Relieved, you smiled back at him despite Roger’s protests. “You want anything, Bri?” John asked their guitarist, and you ended up getting drinks for everyone. Thankful that they kept fresh bottles in the break room, you returned as Freddie stepped out of the sound booth, and his recording was played back. His smile was stiff as you handed him a water bottle, though it was probably because he was trying to concentrate on the playback of his vocals than any malice towards you. Roger accepted the drink begrudgingly, and Brian smiled at you.

“I’m John, by the way.” Holding out his hand to you, you bent down to shake John’s hand where he was still sitting on the floor.

“I know,” you answered automatically, though he could see the regret on your face as soon as you said it, “I mean, we can hear you guys from in there, talking and everything,” you tried to explain yourself, still shaking his hand. After a long moment silence, he’s still looking at you with a bewildered, but pleasant smile. “I’m Y/N.” You finally manage.

“I know.” And he’s grinning at you, amused as you finally retract your hand to cross your arms over your chest. “You were introduced.” Pointing at Earl, you followed his gaze to the sound desk and the glass window, through which you could see Freddie setting up for another take.

“I’m Roger.” Roger offers from the side, and he seems to be splitting his focus between you and the singer.

“He’s Roger.” John muttered, much more quietly. How he was able to verbally communicate a fond eye-roll, you may never know.

“What does this one do?” Three weeks into your three month internship, and you’re minding the desk while Earl’s on break, slapping away John’s hands as he tries to get near the buttons.

“I don’t know.” You laughed for the fourth time in a row, pushing his hands gently from the desk.

“This one makes things loud, right?” His fingers edge towards one of the faders and you can see the grin he wears as he watches your expression closely, deciding if you’re going to slap him away from it again. The others have gone to get lunch and he’s keeping you company. He’s been doing that a lot recently, and you wouldn’t say you minded. John’s good company, unexpectedly sharp, and he always seems happy to see you.

“You probably shouldn’t touch that one; it’s for your bass.” You raised your eyebrows at him, lips twitching as you repressed a smile, watching him retract his hand to fold it in his lap.

“So that one’s for the bass, but what about the others?” He asked, nodding to the other faders, and you shrugged.

“Not sure.” Your response only made him smile wider.

“But you know which one the bass one is?” He asked, and you let yourself smile at him, a little more mischievous than was strictly necessary.

“Maybe I just told you that so you wouldn’t touch it.” There’s an unspoken challenge in your words, and his fingers danced along the bottom of the soundboard, just below where the masking tape labels for the faders have all worn away. There’s a moment, he’s hovering over one that looks like it’s labelled ‘Mic 2’ and you’re hand is already raised ready to knock him back, when the door bursts open and the others all spill in.

“Alright, out of my seat.” Earl pulls the rolling chair back with you still in it, and you obligingly hop out. “You didn’t touch anything, did you?” He asked, just like he had every single time since he’d first trusted you to look over it while he was gone.

“Yeah, Deaky, did you-” Roger’s wearing a shit-eating grin, but the bass player has hopped out of the seat that usually belongs to you, to make a beeline for the recording studio.

“Oh shut it, Rog,” he snaps, and though you can’t see the blush rising on his cheeks, he knows it’s there. “No.” He adds, and Roger’s exaggerated eye-roll, and the comment he had made, make you blush also, but you’re not entirely sure why, or at least, you won’t admit to yourself why.

“Okay, take, uh, take six? Take six of Killer Queen’s bass.” You stumbled over your words while speaking over the microphone into the recording booth where John waited with headphones on. He gave you a thumbs up, which you missed, searching for the button to play back the other accompaniment into his headphones. After a moment of fumbling, Earl pointed the button out to you, giving you a longsuffering smile as the music began to play back. The other band members quietly discussed the logistics of the song as you watched Earl gently adjust the sound levels every few moments. Sparing a glance to John through the glass, you get a little lost for a moment, watching his intense concentration as he worked his way through the song. He had an intensity about him, the utmost concentration that made you not want to look away. Finishing without a single note missed, he looks up to see you looking back at him, a little starry-eyed, and he grins back.

“Wow.” You breathe, before turning bright red, feeling someone over your shoulder.

“She thinks it’s great.” Freddie pressed down the button, speaking into the microphone by your shoulder. John chuckled fondly, a little flush.

“I- yeah, thank you.” After a beat, he recomposed himself. “And you guys?” His gaze finally moved from your face to look over the others, who were all looking at either you or John smugly. Freddie stepped back from the console, crossing his arms over his chest with a smile as he looked between you two.

“She’s right.” Roger called from the sofa, splayed across it, partially leaning against Brian. After a beat, John gave him a confused look, tapping at the headphones. “Oi, tell ‘im.” Roger urged you, and tentatively you pressed the microphone button, leaning in to it.

“They agree.” And you watch him let out a sigh of relief as he goes to put his bass on it’s stand, making room for Brian to step in and start with his section. When he comes back into the room, John makes a beeline for the sofa, only to find Roger’s laid himself across it horizontally, taking up as much room as he possibly could.

“Sorry, mate.” The drummer grins, clearly not sorry at all. Even Freddie, who usually didn’t go in for this sort of stuff, was using the armrests of the armchair he had draped himself in, giving the bass guitarist a knowing smile, and a sly look to where you were receiving a quiet lesson faders from Earl as Brian began making sure his guitar was in tune.

“You’re doing really good,” John muttered to you from where he leaned against the wall close to the sound desk. You’d just called to start the guitar track and he was keeping his eyes on his bandmate. Startled, you slid the headphones from your ears where you were listening to make sure Brian was hearing the same thing you were.

“What?” Voice quiet, you looked up at John, and he finally looked away from Brian, smiling fondly at you.

“The whole intern thing, you’re doing really well.” And the resulting smile you gave him made you glow with pride. You’d been so worried that it had seemed like you were stumbling through your tasks, because, well, at times you were, but even a slight affirmation had you thrilled. After a beat, you tried to school face into something more serious as you tried not to let the embarrassing crush on him that had developed over the past few weeks show. He was a musician and you were an intern, and it was just a little bit of a hero-crush, nothing to get too serious about. But he was smiling back at you, and it just made you feel warm; it didn’t have to be a bad thing if you didn’t let it.

Once the album is done, you still actually manage to see them around, at least for the first few weeks. You’d actually managed to score a job as an assistant from the internship, and they were in often discussing the plans of their tour. Every time they spotted you in the halls, the others would conveniently vanish the moment John asked how you’d been. It hurt a little, to think about how you wouldn’t see them, see him, for a few months, or perhaps even a year, but you thought perhaps it would be a good thing, letting your little crush die.

“I’ll really miss working with you.” But then he had to go and say that, smiling in that way that made everything seem alright, and he wrapped an arm around you in a hug. He’s not usually a tactile person, from what you’ve gathered, and it takes a moment for you to find your voice.

“I’ll miss,” the words get stuck in your throat a little, “working with you too.” He gives you a comforting squeezes, and you’re not sure what to do about the way your heart beats a little faster, so you let him leave. He hesitates for a moment, seems like he doesn’t want to go, or has something to say. You see something in his smile, maybe a little sadness, maybe something else you can’t quite place, and you both know it’ll be a while before you see each other again.

“Is Y/N going to be here?” John’s bopping slightly to the beat in his head as he watches Earl set up the sound equipment on the farm.

“She’ll be here tomorrow.” Earl doesn’t look up from his job while Roger yells at the same time, from the other room.

“No distractions!” And it’s accompanied by the thwap of Roger’s slipper hitting the glass of the window to the sound room, but he’s grinning at the bassist from where he’s sitting behind his drums. John refuses to read into that.

It’s been almost six months since you’d seen each other, and you’d jumped at the opportunity to join Earl and the boys a the farm, even if it is in the middle of nowhere, and you’d be sleeping on a sofa for a week. You arrived at the tail end of their stay, once the music was written, all that was left to do was record it.

He’s waiting out the front of the house, perched on the brick wall and eyeing off a large chicken who looked like it was ready to spook him, when Earl pulls up with you in the front seat.The noise of the van is enough to send the chicken scrambling in the other direction, but John waved at you, and there it was, that feeling in your chest that you’ve been trying to bury for six whole months practically leaping to life as you step out to hug him in greeting.

“Oi, Y/N, settle an argument for us.” When you walk into the kitchen in the morning, Brian is smiling despite the fact that he’s got bacon in his hair, Roger is hunched over eating the rest of the bacon, at least what wasn’t scattered on the floor, from the pan and refusing to share, and John was just smiling blithely into his coffee.

“What do you think of when you hear the phrase, ‘I’m in love with my car’.” John asked, not looking away from where Roger was glowering.

“Is it a nice car?” You asked, easily making your way around the kitchen to fix yourself breakfast, ignoring the way Roger perked up at the question.

“Like as a song, what do you think?” John’s smile as catty as you’ve ever seen it. When you ask what happened to the coffee pot as it lay on it’s side sink, John hands over his mug without hesitating, still waiting on your response.

“Well... is it a metaphor?” You asked, squinting between the three of them. After a beat, Roger slams the frypan on the table and throws his hands in the air.

“Yes, see she gets it!” And you’re pretty sure you’re on the wrong side of the table as John shakes his head.

“So you metaphorically are in love with your car?” You asked, rounding the bench to join John and Brian, who were now actively stifling laughter as Roger’s face fell. Resting against the bench by John, you’re close enough that he can lean his head against your shoulder in solidarity, taking back his coffee and having a pointed sip as your words set Roger off on another rant. If you lean into it a little, he doesn’t seem to mind, in fact, you don’t see it, but his smile widens.

When you hear John banging on the door of the farmhouse after you’ve finished helping pack everything up and Earl’s already locked everyone else out of the sound room for the rest of the night, it’s a shock.

“Tell her!” You can hear Roger’s shout on the other side of the door as John knocks louder.

“You really should just tell her.” Unexpectedly, even Freddie seems to agree with the drummer, though John shouts that he’ll catch his death of cold if they don’t let him in soon.

“Be an adult, John!” Brian tries to placate the bassist from the other side of the door where they’ve all teamed up against him. “Just tell her.”

“Be an adult?!” John parrots back, just before you get to them.

“Tell me what?” That shut them all up quick, and even before he turns to face you, you can tell he’s bright red. “I mean, I’m the only ‘her’ for what feels like a few hundred kilometres.” Smiling with confusion, you look to the door, and then to John. Someone whispers ‘tell her’.

“I want to see you again.” John lets the words tumble out into the world, hands out and open in front of him in some sort of ‘ta-da’ gesture, before looking over his shoulder. “Can I come back inside now?” 

“What? No.” You can hear Roger’s baffled expression in his words, and it’s joined by a hum of agreement from Freddie.

“He’s right, Deaky, that was a terrible declaration of lov-” John’s pulling you away by the elbow before you could hear the rest of Freddie’s statement, though you got the general gist of it.

“You know what, maybe we’re better off out here.” He huffs, unable to look at you as he tugs you towards the wall.

“Slow down, slow down.” Once at the wall, you tug free from his grip and lean against it, watching him fidget. “You like me?” You asked, half smile forming on your lips.

“We’re not high schoolers, Y/N.” He tried dodging the question with a self-deprecating smile. Taking a step forward, you finally got him to look at you. “You know, it was weird, caring about you so much after only three months.” He admitted, studying your features with an intensity you had only seen him get around music, it made you feel like the only person in the world that mattered in that one moment. “It was weird, looking up on stage and not seeing you in the crowd.” He paused for a moment. “And I don’t want that to be our only interaction, just recording music together, I wanna take you take you to all the sights I got to see, but just... just because I want to see them with you.” When his gaze dropped, it felt as if the moment had passed, but you didn’t want to leave it just yet. Gently, you took his hand, and when his eyes met yours, you were smiling, a bit pink in the cheeks, but so obviously full of joy.

“I’d like that,” and after a beat, you moved in to press a kiss to his lips, soft and chaste. “I missed you... so much more than I thought I would.” You chuckled softly, moving back just a little. “I honestly thought you wouldn’t-”

“No, I did.” He looked away, a little embarrassed, and you could see the flush of his cheeks. “The, uh, the boys will attest to that.” He admitted, and that’s when you remembered, feeling the biting chill of the night air finally begin to hit you.

“Do you think they’ve unlocked the door?” You asked, looking over his shoulder. His expression fell as the two of you began to walk hand in hand back to the farmhouse.

“It doesn’t actually lock, they were just all leaning against it.”

[voracious-pumpkira-starr]

VORE COMMUNITY PSA

False information was spread about me with very little truth. While some is truth, others are either taken from untrustworthy sources or were said by people whom are enemies i made in the past to make me more hated. I dont know if all of you know the post im refering to, i wont link it here but it has been causing me a lot if stress

Now I’m not going to deny some parts of the post because they are factual. But other parts are false. I havent blackmailed people for roleplay, and I dont charge back payments. The charging back of commissioned artwork is only from the artists point of view. And even then its heavily exxagerated. What happened was I spent too much money on porn commissions using a family members credit card on my own paypal, i paid this family member to do this of course bit they didnt know what i was buying. After i spent over $1000 CAD they realized I was spending it on porn and called paypal to charge it back. Paypal charged it back. I tried and tried to get paypal to send the money back but they locked me out of the account and the family member refused to let me send the money to them. Since then I was only able to pay back one artist of many, its not just artists. Paypal took back all payments and I even lost some of my art programs such as Clip studio EX because of this. Ive also lost many mobile apps and more. This caused me a lot of stress and I wasn’t allowed to use a credit card for a long time. Now, You know who. A certain artist who made these claims. Yes I admit I tried to roleplay with them but I will be honest. This is a honest statement from my own mouth. There is many many people in the community who KNOW I’m sumlur and are of age who roleplay with me and I wont name them to keep them same from harassment. Im not innocent but neither are the people like YOU who spread this information. And I will send you this post privately. Yes it is not my place to be in the vore community but because I have it helped with my depression and I learned many things that made me better as a person. I know my mistakes and I understand even when 2021 comes I will be hated in the community or even not let back in at all. But all I’m going to say. Is that yes I was immature and regret a lot of my decisions. But i stopped ban evading and all that long ago. It is now 3 years since this ekas portal drama has started with me, I, because of outdated or false information spread by you and many others have been Doxxed and had my info leaked on 8chan by a user named cloud runner teeny on 12/24/2018. Its been over a year since i was doxxed and I have been struggiling with depression and at multiple times even was suicidal. I nearly killed myself on lean (purple drank). Im not asking for pity because we both know I did aome messed up shit but making a PSA about me and spreading things from your point of view is only half the story. Many people have harassed my social media because of this or even turned me into a laughing stock. So here, if it makes you happy Cham. I’ll make a statement right here right now publically for all to see. If i lose friends for this then whatever it is what it is. It took me a lot of guts and a long time to say this but the stress has gotten to much for me. for the sake of peace I’ll admit to everything Chammy was correct about me ane everything that was false along with some misconceptions about me: so firstly Chammy is right about my age. My birthday is 01/30/2003. I am nearly 17 years old. Chammy is also correct about me asking him for roleplay stuff. However many adults i know who know my age are fine roleplaying with me and I will make this very clear for all of tumblr and the world. Yes I know the underage law and why you think you would be at risk of becoming a sex offender. But hear me out, I’ve actually talked to online lawyers about this and there was never a statement in US Federal law about roleplaying with minors being wrong. The only thing that is bad is if your doing it with malicious intent or send real nudes. As for the age of consent, that is 16 and as far as I know you can legally have sex with anyone within 5 years apart from you as long as its not recorded at that age. So I would assume roleplay would be legal unless its recorded or screenshotted just the same. So yes although it might be risky there is almost a 100% gaurentee your not at risk unless you go bragging about it or the minors parents

Report you. And I don’t have parents, my birth parents abandoned me for a life of crime and my grandparents had custody over me since i was 2 years old. My grandparents know about my vore fetish and although they think its weird they are fine with it to some extent. I can assure you for a fact they won’t report you unless your asking me for literal nudes, which I’d never even give away. Secondly I wanted to bring up the fact I did NOT try to sneak into Cham’s server I was asking if somebody could vouch to let me in so at 18 my friend Andy (WHO KNOWS MY AGE) could vouch for me since he/you closed all invites because of people insulting male predators.

Nextly I want to say this, Chameleonette is not a bad person. They aren’t spreading lies about me on purpose they are only saying what they were told which was spread around by many people who hate me such as aljenserp, AlluringPredation, Reffles, Cloudrunnerteeny, and artists who think i charged back on purpose. Now I also want to bring up the accusations of blackmailing adults who roleplayed with me. This is false, the only adults i ever blackmailed where ones who knew my age and asked for nudes, or were ACTUAL MINORS pretending to be adults which i know for fact.

Now I will admit I exposed some of these friends as minors out of anger and lost friends for this. I regret this so i wont say which ones, But I blackmailed them about exposing their age for some fights in the past.

But I will also admit again I did some stupid shit in the past and I understand the hate I have but its been causing me lots of stress and Harassment on social media. Look cham, if you actually take the time to read this I’m sorry for everything ive done to you and the vore community but I want to say that the adults arent entirely innocent either. I caused these problems by lying about my age, joining ekas, ban evading, manipulating people, and buying art when I shouldnt have. All of it has come back to bite me in the ass. Combined with the stress from real life I couldn’t take things anymore and essentially ruined my life. As of now I dropped out of highschool because the stress was too much and couldn’t work anymore. Now I’m educationless and most likely won’t get a job. For those who are curious in one year and 29 days is when I will be 18. And if any of my friends whom dont know my age read this I want to say I’m sorry for lying. I strongly have issues and am really clingy to people I like so I end up lying to make friends. And i know many people are going to block me for this so in turn I will end up more stressed but its the most mature thing i could think to do. I would love it if nobody blocked me and we just talked like friends and save the vore stuff for when I’m 18, which I do with many of my friends already. As stated before the whole reason i joined ekas in the first place was to join a community i felt like i fit in with after getting depression from losing a friend i really cared about named anatoily

Many times in the past i used anatoily as an excuse for my actions but thats not what im doing. Anatoily if you see this i want to know im sorry for using your name as an excuse for my wrong actions. I originally joined Ekas for that purpose and used that as an excuse, on there i made many friends some of which i have even today. At one point i planned on leaving ekas but then I found somebody who reminded me of anatoily. I had an obsession with them and it led me to well ruin that friendship. Around this time i was exposed underage by Reffles on a minecraft server who had a incorectly dated birth date from a Enjin server about me claiming i was 14 when i was 15 which now i am 16 turning 17 and that link would display 15 turning 16. To explain this I want to say when I made this enjin account I mistyped the age and never bothered fixing it because I rarely used Enjin. I just used it to apply for minecraft admin positions.

I regret many of the things ive done and cant stress this enough that I’m sorry but in all honesty this is the true story of what happened with me and the vore community

In 2017 I joined ekas because my mind didn’t care about the consequences I was upset about anatoily, which isnt an excuse for my actions. I lied about my age and all was fine i was getting away with it. I met the person who reminded me of anatoily in February of 2018 whom helped me grow as an artist. I started working as a artist practicing for when I’m 18. When reffles found me out i was upset and was banned from ekas and the discord Work to Feed. I was upset for many reasons, one even being that i just got the first person ever to commission me and even today was never able to do the art or send it to them making me feel like a thief

So a lot of ban evading and ruined friendships later some problems happened with me and a friend named Aljenserp who like me was a minor. I was watching one of Silent_E’s streams and got banned because Tyrion13 recognized me. I betrayed Aljenserp like an asshole saying he was underage (i dont think he is underage anymore but he was at the time this happened) because he was a staff nobody believed me and i was banned from the stream and lost all trust aljenserp had in me. He became my enemy. Now after this a lot of people started hating me more and more, there was some drama on 8chan about me which i posted on being some idiot as i was younger and didnt know what i was doing.

This caused many people to not even feel any pity for me thinking i was stupid and deserved what i got. This was shortly before the problem happened with paypal. After that i was hated immensely more and many people startee saying some stupid rumors about me

One really dumb one was from the ekas user ExplosiveWaifu who has a Dragon OC named Lydia. Goes by DragonWaifu on discord. In one instance i was talking to Lydia about how one of my friends was a Maoist communist and his beliefs and how i support him because he is my friend. She believed because he had communist beliefs and i supported him that i was a terrorist and ceased all Communication with me for this. Another false rumor about me was spreaded by a friend of Explosivewaifu who i cant name as they are always changing their name. she is a trans woman, me and her used to talk a lot and whenever she got drunk she would well... be really irl lewd with me so i started calling her a pedophille (which is where the blackmail stuff ties in partially though i didnt blackmail her it was somebody else)

Many times this friend while sober would claim that i act to mature and that I couldnt be a minor, thus a rumor spread around that inwas a adult pretending to be a minor to get kicked out of the community for purposfully causing drama to make people think im a believable minor so i could easily prey on minors like a pedophille... honestly this is a really dumb rumor and dunno why it was believed by anybody at all

Next I want to talk about the ID theft accusations. Mettra Tonic gave me a health band from the hospital which in July of 2018 i tried to use as a ID to get me unbanned and it failed, this led to trust issues with Mettra who also spread false information about me which is mostly well known for the accusations of blackmail against her friends who were minors. There was another ID issue with a man named worthylightning and Kobayashi whom I tried to. Let them both help me get unbanned because friendship. It didnt work and i felt bad.

Lastly the only true case of ID theft is the one with reffles. Reffles gave somebody her ID who gave me the ID and I cropped out the age part of her ID and tried to use it. I since regret this action but i wouldnt concider the age part alone to be ID theft.

There was also accusations that I steal artwork which i dont own which is false. All artwork of Pumpkira is owned by me, either drawn by me, won in a raffle, requested, or given to me as a gift.

Moving on later in the year CloudRunnerTeeny doxxed me and made a group on discord called the Sumlur eradication squad where he blackmailed me and threatened to leak my info (which he did on christmas onto 8chan before it was taken down for breaking ToS) me and my friend tried to mislead him do he wouldnt Dox me and dox a fake person but this failed, made things worse infact. After that me and teeny came to a truce to leave eachother alone if i stay away from him and his friends. A promise I Semi-kept to today.

I already explained the whole issue with the art charged back, false rumors, and blackmail.

But I want to say this. Please stop sending information that is outdated or just speculation about me. Hear both sides of the story.

And yes when I turn 18 in 2021 I know I’ll still be hated and I have come to terms and accept that is my punishment for my mistakes. But please stop sending drama my way as I am very tempted to just delete all my social media at this point. Its gotten really stressful and I just cant...

Also Chammy again you aren’t a bad person i dont blame you for my hate as Its deserved. Although some of your claims were wrong or from your point of view, others were true and It is good you made a statement about me. But please tell people not to harass me and just block me. I’m going to make this post Private for a while before making it public. I want you to read this before it goes public on my Tumblr.

Lastly I heard you were feeling sick and hope you get better.

From artist to artist I have been improving my art and stories which like you one thing i hope for when im 18 is to be a successful artist or writer. Im already planning a large scale SFW webcomic as many people know. Though I feel like it is going to have a negative impact because Pumpkira is the protagonist and i gaurentee at least one person from the vore community would expost past me to everyone who reads future me’s work

Anyways thats all.

Update 2020: now 17

Update: 2021 now 18 as of January 30th 2021

[p18kfdge-blog]

Is a Ford KA cheap to insure?

Is a Ford KA cheap to insure?

I am a new driver, just passed my test ( im 17 ) and thinkin to buy a ford ka as a first car. Is it cheap to insure tho? Around how much? Thanks

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurance4hquotes.xyz

SOURCES:

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[musubiki]

Got any hcs for white? Her starter, her journey, etc? And like. Fws hcs?? 👀👀👀

K HERE WE GO MY SECOND FAVORITE GIRL EVER(this is gonna be long bc. i like them too)

➞

white chose tepig as her starter. this is actually a GREAT match because Gus is really rash and hasty and stubborn fist fighter just like her

white has never lost a battle. that was her goal it was never really to become champion or anything (she didnt care for all the responsibility that came with it) her goal was to be undefeated. which did not bode well for cheren, who wanted to be champion, and lost every battle against her

“well this is discouraging”

she really loves bianca!!! and cheren!!!!! she has the least patience and sense out of the three. cheren has to keep her grounded so she doesnt do weird shit

white is physically the strongest out of the protags. its mysterious. she als o has the best hair 

when she first meets N he is. a creep. im sorry. even i see it like that when you first meet him hes weird. when she first hears the team plasma speech in the first town, shes like boiling already. why would anyone listen to the knights of the round table?! this is weird. she kicks N’s ass first battle.

her problem from here on out and throughout the journey is that. she was the opposite of N. she thought that everyone treated their pokemon nicely and no one could ever hurt a pokemon. she learned she was wrong fairly quickly, and tried to fix and embrace reality instead of N, who tried to change the world all at once.

this is why shes the hero of truth and hes the hero of ideals. 

i dont have a lot of solid hc interactions between them (mostly bc i havent played in a while jfklas i abandoned my boy) but throughout their journey they. actually talk. and argue. and they both equally learn things from each other. and despite him being kinda weird (she thinks) shes actually kinda concerned for him

he makes her think about things she wouldnt otherwise. not just the fate of pokemon but about the future and the whole world. because of him she actually has this moment, where she has all of her current team out. and she realises that she is, like what he says and just makes her pokemon fight. of course and loves and cares for them, and she just. asks them real solemly like. “Do you guys even want to fight? Like do you even like being here?” 

and she already decided that if any of them didn’t want to be there, she would let them go.

luckily, her whole team is full of pokemon just like her and they enjoy the fights, and the adventure, and spending time with her, and shes thrilled. after this she asks pokemon she catches that she wants to keep if they wanna stay with her

i love N a lot ok. whenever N talks to white she always says something that surprises him and makes him look at the world differently. eventually he finds himself actually seeking her out and deliberatly looking for chances to run into her. he gains a lot of respect for her. whenever he talks to her he takes his hat off and nervoulsy kinda. holds it in his hands and shes kinda “?”

when she first finds out hes king. of team plasma. shes pissed. shes ready to TIP TH DAMN CART THING IN THE FERRISHWEEL AND HAVE A FIGHT RIGHT THERE. HES TELLING HER TO CALM DOWN AND SHES LIKE HOW DID YOU EXPECT ME TO REACT??????????????

shes angry bc hes the king of this. horrible orginization. and as far as shes seen all they do is steal and abuse pokemon. the next few times she talks to him he tells her that theyre nothing like that, and that they only look after pokemon

this is actually true. some of the grunts fully believe in the true cause. but most of them follow ghetsis. and N has no idea that his grunts are actually abusing and stealing (i keep thinking about the dreamyard because that scene was what the fuck????a re you doing????)

she begins to realize this. that he has no idea. and that he actually believes in this cause. and as she gets to know him she realises he is. the purest person. and he has no idea. and she feels kinda bad bc she was kinda mean to him before, but hes still plasma so shes confused about how she should treat him because he always treats her and her pokemon pretty nicely. 

N is actually a very nice and gentle soul. he’ll put up a fight for sure, but especially towards white hes the sgtwytwytws weetest thing im sorry i have a soft spot for him. lowkey he wants her approval.

if youve ever seen miraculous ladybug, i imagine N to be kind of like adrien(without the chat side to him) like hes just. nice. and gentle and. cute.

i hc that they have way more interactions than the game gives you

the best thing theyve ever had together was this celebration in Iccirus city (similar to like…the 4th of july kinda thing..) and whites pretty alone. cherena and bianca are off doing Arceus knows what and shes like. alone. and she finds N outside the city with some pokemon. 

so she goes and talks to him. questions why hes out here all alone in like, the cold. shouldnt you be with your family or something? its a holiday. and she caught him off gaurd and he immedatly like stands up and hes kinda happy to see her. he doesnt question why but hes. happy. when shes around. 

he tells her his father never really cared for these kinds of celebrations anyway, and that he usually spends these kinds of days alone. he doesnt think this is a big deal but whites kinda,.. lonely too. so she proposes “Listen, no one should be alone today. And I don’t really have anyone to hang out with either, so what do you say we just, forget about the sworn enemies thing for the night and go have some fun or something” 

and hes. surprised. here she goes again. always saying something new and pleasent and hes. like beaming hes so cutnhejfje so he agrees. 

and this turns into. a pretty great night for them both actually. like they actually get along great when theyre not arguing about the future of unova. they play a lot of booth games and. 

hdj white loses at one of those ball tossing games(she usually loses and then harasses the booth guy with “Booo its rigged” but she just likes to have fun) and N. is determined. he fuckin. calculates wind direction and all this weird shit and gets. a record high score and shes like how the fuck did you do that. he smiles and answers its all in the wrist. 

he gets her some stuffed animal thing. shes like this is the best day ever shes thrilled. they go and get food and like by the end of the night theyre actually. like friends. and she didnt think this would happen but she actually likes hanging out with him. at some point she wins a seashell necklace that she wears for the timeskip outfit

so theyre sitting there at the edge of the festival whatever eating caramel popcorn and ice cream and hot dogs laughing and telling stories about weird people theyve met and crazy things theyve done.

and they talk about his family. and why hes with plasma in the first place. and where her parents are. and why they believe in the things that they say and do. it turns out theyre both orphans. the only difference between them is that hes alone

at some point (i forget how this comes up) he asks white if theyre friends. she pauses for a while because she doesnt know how to answer it. yes, she thinks, when she’s with him like this. when she forgets that hes leading a region-wide organization aiming to seperate people and pokemon. but she settles with a yes, and jokingly adds that if they were destined to be mortal enemies they could hang out more, and he smiles

she spots a pair of plasma grunts, looks like theyre doing some shady things, but her head flashes back to the conversations shes had with N. he doesnt know what his grunts do. so she tells him to stay there and she’ll be back. hes kind of confused and worried, so he follows her from a distance.

she follows the grunts into a cave/grotto/area. yep, here they are abusing some poor purrloins or something, trying to get something that ghetsis claims he needs. she has her stountland right beside her and angrily questions what they think theyre doing. 

when they snarkily and confidently answer that they do whatever they want, she asks why theyre even a part of team plasma at all if theyre gonna treat pokemon like this. she tells them to go join team rocket if theyre looking for business like that. N is outside listening to all of this

they say something like “You think this about money?” and she asks what else and they answer “This is about power. We don’t give a damn about freeing pokemon for justice! When all the pokemon are gone plasma will reign supreme!!” 

she clutches her pokeball. shes pissed. not just because, these fuckers got issues, but because they are deliberatly. disobeying N, and everything he stands for. so she tells them to get out of there before they end up regretting it. they laugh and tell her they dont even listen to their own King, why would they listen to her.

(white is a huge badass by the way. shes the more hardcore and probably coolest protag)

then N steps in and they. fall silent. and they are terrified. the stutter and stammer about how it was all a misunderstanding, and it wasnt their fault, and they didnt mean it, and every excuse they could come up with but N. is kind of like leaf in this sense because he is. angry. but his anger comes off cold and heartless and man he is cool.

so they, because they know theyre screwed already, decide that they wont take this shit anymore and challenge them to a fight. figure if they manage to beat N, maybe they could rule plasma instead. (this is my excuse to get N and White to double battle) and they rock. theyre the perfect tag team. truely the two sides of the same coin

when theyre defeated. N forces them to release their pokemon and they run away, never to show their faces to plasma again. They stand there in silence for a while, and N asks “Why did you tell me not to stay there?”

shes quiet for a while before answering “Because…you believe in what you do” and “I didn’t want you to see the worst of what was going on.” 

he thanks her for her concern, and tells her not to think like that, because now he finally sees what shes been trying to tell him about plasma, and maybe he can do something about it now that he knows. ignorance is never bliss, he adds, and she knows hes right. she just didnt want him to be hurt, she thinks

she asks what hes going to do, and he answers he’d try to weed out whatever corruption was in plasma. he hopes what the grunts say wasnt true, and that this was just a small mutiny, not rooting from the very top.

FYI SHES NOT SUPPORTING PLASMA at this point she still hates plasmas ass for doing what they do, but shes seen now the way some trainers treat their pokemon (in and out of plasma) and she thinks that if this cause was done right, it would help the world a lot

unfortunaly N is a fool lol and wants to liberate ALLLL THE DAMN POKEMON. 

ofc after this. ghetsis goes and. poisons his mind again with how shes a fool and shes trying to manipulate you and why would you doubt your own father. and right after this N. becomes the hero of ideals and they become worse enemies than theyve ever been. she becomes the hero of truth and he smiles because suddenly. everything makes sense. why hes always so happy to be around her. why it feels like she completes him despite all their differences and he. loves her he just doesnt know it 

and she knows for a fact that ghetsis is behind all of this but because N is the king, she has to go through him first. 

and she really cares for N. she actually ends up realising after he leaves that yeah, she pretty much loved him. and she hates his ass for leaving. so she goes to chase him down because cheesy as it is, these two are literally soulmates. they both acknowledge that meeting and growing with the other has made them better and stronger people and white refuses to let that go.

(i love their story and dynamic)

i dont have a set reuniting scene for them yet, the only one i have is.,.,. a part of that other story im lowkey working on..,.,. but she slaps him thats for sure LOL. hes like a puppy hes so happy to see her again hes like “White!!” and shes. PISSED. she has tears in her eyes and CATCH THESE HANDS. leaf and green are probably there and theyre like WHOA WHAT

green actually relates to white bc of this bc yeah, i waited for like 3 years for the love of my life too

[taekookismylifeline]

(yoonseok) - trust my heart when it beats for you

ao3:  (x)

Summary: Jung Hoseok has had an awkward Thing for Min Yoongi for four years of his school life. He is certain that the only thing that gets in the way of them and everlasting love is the fact that Min Yoongi doesn’t know he exists, but that all changes due to one drunken text message: a pick-up line. Ready to flee to another country under a false identity in mortification, he finds himself ruining their blossoming friendship and confessing when Yoongi asks why Hoseok had tried to flirt with him. However, things take a turn after his confession when Yoongi starts to (awkwardly) flirt back.

Pairings: Yoonseok, Taekook and Namjin

Chapters: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8), (9), (10), (11), (12), (13), (14), (15), (16), (17), (18), (19), (20), (21), (22), (23), (24), (25), (26)

Chapter Twenty-Seven -  what does it mean when i think of you and my heart is revived?

Jung Hoseok: yoongs

Min Yoongi: hey :)

Jung Hoseok: wow! An emoji! Jung Hoseok: i just wanted 2 say thanks 4 today Jung Hoseok: it was amazing Jung Hoseok: you were amazing

Min Yoongi: so were you Min Yoongi: there’s no need to thank me Min Yoongi: Am I not allowed to show my happiness? :(

Jung Hoseok: NO Jung Hoseok: I MEAN YES Jung Hoseok: yoongs ive been meaning to ask u something

Min Yoongi: yes? Min Yoongi: You can ask me anything

Jung Hoseok: when i called u baby Jung Hoseok: did u mind it? Jung Hoseok: i only realised I said it after everything Jung Hoseok: its only cuz we talked about kinks and u said it was weird Jung Hoseok: so im really sorry if i made u uncomfortable Jung Hoseok: i wont do it again Jung Hoseok: im sorry

Min Yoongi: Oh Min Yoongi: I didn’t think too much into it, I thought it was just a pet name Min Yoongi: I assume you mean the daddy kink Min Yoongi: So I guess you do have a daddy kink then?

Jung Hoseok: NO Jung Hoseok: well Jung Hoseok: idk Jung Hoseok: i just like being on top?? Jung Hoseok: i like it when you're submissive i guess

Min Yoongi: right Min Yoongi: Let’s talk through this, okay?

Jung Hoseok: if ure okay with it

Min Yoongi: it’s fine Min Yoongi: what do you mean you ‘don’t know’?

Jung Hoseok: idk

Min Yoongi: Very helpful

Jung Hoseok: AHHHH im sorry!!! Jung Hoseok: i just mean that i get why ppl think its weird Jung Hoseok: cuz of the whole ‘dad/dy’ thing Jung Hoseok: IM NOT INTO INCEST

Min Yoongi: Seok, I know that you don’t want to fuck your dad Min Yoongi: I know what the daddy kink is to an extent Min Yoongi: It’s not that weird to me, so don’t be embarrassed

Jung Hoseok: AAAAAA that made ME LAUGH BUT IT SHOULDNT HAVE!!!!!!! Jung Hoseok: thanks Yoongs :)

Min Yoongi: it’s fine, Seok Min Yoongi: tell me why you think you might have a daddy kink

Jung Hoseok: ok, ok, this is probs gonna be rambley so sorry Jung Hoseok: so

Jung Hoseok: I like being in control, like i like being assertive and knowing how to make someone feel good Jung Hoseok: i like watching someone feel good, i want to see how they react to what i do to them Jung Hoseok: i like giving pleasure and knowing how to do so Jung Hoseok: i like someone who gives into what i want and lets themselves feel good by my hand (or tongue or whatever) but also isn’t totally submissive Jung Hoseok: ive never really thought about kinks before but ??? idk being with u is making me think about sexy stuff and then idk Jung Hoseok: I think about u calling me daddy when i do stuff with u Jung Hoseok: i want to take care of u, to make u feel so good, to make u moan, to make u think of no one but me on top of you Jung Hoseok: it turns me on Jung Hoseok: you turn me on Jung Hoseok: sorry Jung Hoseok: this took a turn, sorry

Min Yoongi: no Min Yoongi: it’s fine Min Yoongi: I never knew you felt like that Min Yoongi: You probably have a daddy kink, Seok Min Yoongi: Or you’re just an assertive top, I guess Min Yoongi: I don’t really know that much about it

Jung Hoseok: oh Jung Hoseok: I might maybe do Jung Hoseok: yoongs Jung Hoseok: if i do, is this a problem? Jung Hoseok: obviously I won’t bring this onto you Jung Hoseok: i don’t want u to be uncomfortable Jung Hoseok: i’ll control myself Jung Hoseok: are you okay?

Min Yoongi: Seok

Jung Hoseok: yes??

Min Yoongi: today Min Yoongi: when you called me ‘baby’ Min Yoongi: I liked it

Jung Hoseok: kfge Jung Hoseok: iowohh Jung Hoseok: sirry Jung Hoseok: u think u liked it?

Min Yoongi: it’s okay Min Yoongi: I know I did Min Yoongi: I liked you being on top, you knew exactly where to touch and what to do Min Yoongi: I liked it when you looked at me, made me watch what you were doing Min Yoongi: I liked it when you called me baby

Jung Hoseok: oh Jung Hoseok: wow

Min Yoongi: yeah

Jung Hoseok: so Jung Hoseok: do you Jung Hoseok: maybe Jung Hoseok: have a daddy kink?

Min Yoongi: I don’t know Min Yoongi: I’ve never thought about it Min Yoongi: I don’t know if I have any kinks Min Yoongi: you’re the first person I’ve ever been with so I don’t know Min Yoongi: I just like it when you’re in control

Jung Hoseok: oh

Min Yoongi: Seok Min Yoongi: this doesn’t change anything, you know that, right? Min Yoongi: You can call me ‘baby’, I don’t mind

Jung Hoseok: thanks, yoongs Jung Hoseok: i don’t want to gross you out

Min Yoongi: you could never

Jung Hoseok: even though i swallowed????

Min Yoongi: wow Min Yoongi: yes, even though you swallowed Min Yoongi: Seok

Jung Hoseok: :) Jung Hoseok: yes yoongs??

Min Yoongi: when can you next come over?

Jung Hoseok: umm I think not next week but the week after? Jung Hoseok: why? Wanna go on our first date???

Min Yoongi: Oh, okay, cool Min Yoongi: I hadn’t even thought of that Min Yoongi: Yes, I’d like that Min Yoongi: very much

Jung Hoseok: yessssss!!!!!! Ill start planning it!!!

Min Yoongi: Thank you, Seok, I can’t wait

Jung Hoseok: no problem!!! :) Jung Hoseok: wdym u hadn’t thought of it? :( Jung Hoseok: why did u ask when i was free??

Min Yoongi: oh Min Yoongi: I want you Min Yoongi: when you described what you wanted to do to me and what you liked Min Yoongi: I got turned on Min Yoongi: I want you to touch me again Min Yoongi: but I can wait Min Yoongi: I’ll do anything for you

Jung Hoseok: yoongs Jung Hoseok: you’re making me hard just thinking about you Jung Hoseok: I touched myself when I went down on you Jung Hoseok: you tasted so good, you had a shower didnt you? Jung Hoseok: you look beautiful naked Jung Hoseok: you look beautiful clothed Jung Hoseok: I want you to touch yourself Jung Hoseok: I’m there with you, my hands on your body Jung Hoseok: you feel that?

Min Yoongi: yes Min Yoongi: yes i do Min Yoongi: what about you? Min Yoongi: I didn’t pay you back

Jung Hoseok: next time baby Jung Hoseok: you can dream of what ure going to do to me Jung Hoseok: I’ll dream of you Jung Hoseok: I always do Jung Hoseok: I love your voice, when you moan for me Jung Hoseok: are you moaning now? Jung Hoseok: you could be a singer with that voice Jung Hoseok: but I don’t want u to share it with anyone other than me Jung Hoseok: youre not replying but youre reading Jung Hoseok: I can imagine you, are you laid back on the same bed I touched you on today? Jung Hoseok: Imagine my hands on you baby, my mouth on your skin, marking you, making you mine Jung Hoseok: do you want that? Do you want everyone to know youre mine? Jung Hoseok: then say my name, don’t be embarrassed Jung Hoseok: im picturing u touching yourself Yoongi Jung Hoseok: I want to watch you do it Jung Hoseok: I want to help you Jung Hoseok: god look at what youre doing to me yoongs Jung Hoseok: you made me cum today without touching me and now you’ve got me hard Jung Hoseok: im thinking of u baby, thinking of your face when I touched u down there Jung Hoseok: u were so wet for me yoongs, it was so hard to hold back Jung Hoseok: im touching myself yoongs im thinking of you losing control Jung Hoseok: stroking yourself with your top ridden up your hair a mess Jung Hoseok: god I want to be there hearing the noises ure making Jung Hoseok: I should have stayed Jung Hoseok: yoongs I want u Jung Hoseok: so much Jung Hoseok: look at what ure making me do yoongs Jung Hoseok: I cant believe u thought id leave you Jung Hoseok: im nothing with you yoongs you mean everything to me Jung Hoseok: when you cum I want you to say my name Jung Hoseok: because you’re mine Jung Hoseok: not jinsoos not anyone elses but mine

Min Yoongi: I came Min Yoongi: just now

Jung Hoseok: I haven’t yet Jung Hoseok: yoongs Jung Hoseok: send a pic Jung Hoseok: I don’t care of what, anything will do as long as its u

Min Yoongi: it’s embarrassing Min Yoongi: but you helped me, so I’ll help you

Jung Hoseok: thank u Jung Hoseok: did u say my name?

Min Yoongi: yes Min Yoongi: I’m yours Min Yoongi: (picture attached) Min Yoongi: it’s embarrassing

Jung Hoseok: oh fuck Jung Hoseok: is that u right now baby? Jung Hoseok: lying there all messy Jung Hoseok: its not embarrassing its hot Jung Hoseok: youre so hot yoongs

Min Yoongi: you’re hotter Min Yoongi: do you want me to stay with you until you come?

Jung Hoseok: yh Jung Hoseok: say something Jung Hoseok: dirty Jung Hoseok: record it Jung Hoseok: please

Min Yoongi: (voice attachment) Min Yoongi: my voice is gross, sorry

Jung Hoseok: yoongs do u know how hot your deep voice is? Jung Hoseok: didn’t know you thought like that yoongs Jung Hoseok: I like it Jung Hoseok: im almost there

Min Yoongi: when you come, say my name Min Yoongi: you’re mine

Jung Hoseok: I am I am Jung Hoseok: id worship you Yoongi fuck look what ure doing to me Jung Hoseok: i came

Min Yoongi: you’re perfect, Seok Min Yoongi: I’ll be there next time Min Yoongi: I’ll pay you back

Jung Hoseok: yoongs youre too good to me Jung Hoseok: I feel icky Jung Hoseok: but really good

Min Yoongi: ‘icky’? Min Yoongi: so do I Min Yoongi: I’m going to clean up Min Yoongi: thank you, Seok

Jung Hoseok: it’s a valid word!! Jung Hoseok: same here Jung Hoseok: thank you, yoongs :) Jung Hoseok: yoongs

Min Yoongi: yes?

Jung Hoseok: why didn’t we call each other?

Min Yoongi: oh Min Yoongi: I forgot Min Yoongi: you were typing and I read it in your voice

Jung Hoseok: oh hahahaha Jung Hoseok: this way ull have it forever Jung Hoseok: so if im not there and ure lonely u can read it :)

Min Yoongi: gross

Jung Hoseok: im joking!!!!!! Jung Hoseok: I’ll always be here Jung Hoseok: anything for you yoongs Jung Hoseok: you know that right??

Min Yoongi: yeah Min Yoongi: yeah, I do Min Yoongi: thank you, Seok Min Yoongi: I’ll always be here for you, too

Sunday was fairly uneventful. Yoongi’s parents didn’t return until late at night, and his brother was still at college which left Yoongi to his own devices with no distraction from Hoseok to provide him with any real entertainment. He spent the majority of the day watching make-up tutorials and researching piano score sheets to practice on his own. It was refreshing to play again, he felt like he were a little kid whose biggest problem was that he didn’t like the fruit that his mum packed in his lunchbox. However, this time he tackled practice with a matured and more determined attitude, although he still may have cursed when his fingers slipped.

It was early Monday morning when he received a text from Jeongguk, Yoongi was just about to clamber onto the school bus. He headed towards his usual seat in the middle of the bus, and positioned himself next to the window before opening the message.

‘Tae said he wants to talk to me? he wants to meet after school at that western restaurant me and u used to go to. Do I say yes? He’s ignored me for over a week’.

Yoongi frowned in bewilderment. Taehyung was reaching out to Jeongguk after so long? What was the purpose behind it? He had the sudden urge to grill Hoseok but refrained from doing so as he knew that Hoseok would probably rather die than betray his friends’ secrets.

‘Ask him what he wants first. It’s weird he’s messaging you now’. Yoongi replied with and then eagerly awaited a response.

He didn’t have to wait too long. ‘Okay, i just did, and he said ‘to apologise’. Yoongs what do I do?’

Yoongi found himself at a loss, Taehyung wanted to say sorry for his behaviour which most likely required an explanation. Jeongguk had nothing to lose and everything to gain, from his perspective at least. ‘Agree to meet with him and demand an explanation.’

‘Ok ok ok I just did and he said he’ll tell me everything. I’m oddly nervous. He makes me so nervous I almost forgot holy shit.’

Yoongi guffawed and had to hide his laughter into his hand. ‘make sure you turn up then. And don’t worry, you probably do the same to him.’ It was a struggle not to correct ‘probably’ with ‘definitely’.

Jeongguk responded with a variety of emoji’s which Yoongi interpreted correctly to be satire. He smiled and shook his head at the younger boy’s attitude as the bus halted at the bus stop outside of the school. Yoongi remembered that he had agreed to meet Hoseok near the courts before the bell rang and his heart folded inside of his chest.

Everything that Hoseok had confessed to him on Saturday had been replaying on his mind consistently. His heart throbbed almost painfully with the fondness that Hoseok held for him. It was entirely overwhelming and completely staggering to be showered with adoration from a boy who was the definition of perfection itself. Yoongi wondered whether Hoseok knew how amazing he was, how much he occupied Yoongi’s mind and heart. Hoseok had re-kindled the spark of passion in him for music, a passion that he had let die, and had also aroused a ravenous hunger for Hoseok and his touches. Yoongi pondered whether Hoseok was aware just how much he meant to Yoongi - he wanted to show Hoseok, whether it be through words of through actions. Hoseok had re-birthed him into someone he was profusely happy to be.

Suddenly, inspiration cascaded over him, bleeding into his veins and feeding his heart. He had an idea to show Hoseok how much he meant to Yoongi, he would need time, though. And a lot of patience. But he was certain that he could do it, after all, Yoongi had told Hoseok the truth. That he would do anything for him.

“Hey, Yoongs!” Namjoon called him over to the courts when he was walking past the field where Jeongguk was playing football with a group of people in his year. Yoongi’s eyes drifted past Namjoon and focussed on the figure next to him. The same figure that had undressed him and had leant over him, causing him pleasure that was sapped from heaven itself and bestowed it onto him. Hoseok was watching him and Yoongi was fairly assured that Hoseok was thinking along the same lines as he was as he spied through the mesh fence that Hoseok had licked his lips whilst watching him.

Yoongi entered the gate to the courts and approached the two, removing his earphones from his ears and wrapping the wire around his phone. “Don’t be so loud in the morning, it’s not healthy.”

Namjoon simply smiled at him, raising a visible eyebrow over the frames of his glasses. “I think you just don’t want me to be happy.” Yoongi raised an eyebrow back at him as if to say, ‘you’re exactly right’. Namjoon laughed, nudged him with an elbow.

Yoongi returned a smile, his heart warm. He was over the moon that he and Namjoon had managed to restore their friendship ever since he and Hoseok had begun their relationship. He had confided in Namjoon first, not wanting to seem as though he were dragging Jeongguk’s face through the dirt by confessing that he was in a relationship whilst Jeongguk struggled with his situation involving Taehyung. After Yoongi admitted to having taken Namjoon’s advice, Namjoon’s face had broken into an unbelievably wide grin and had pulled Yoongi into a hug, congratulating him on his bravery.

Yoongi was significantly aware that Hoseok was watching he and Namjoon jousting. He could feel Hoseok’s eyes running over him and could hear Hoseok’s quiet intake of breath when Yoongi turned his head to look at him.

“Hey,” Yoongi greeted, a shy smile seeping onto his face when he heard how quiet his voice was and noticed how intense Hoseok’s gaze was.

“Hey,” Hoseok responded, his tone equally as soft but his smile wide and his eyes warm, latching onto Yoongi’s as the golden sunshine poured down on them.

Yoongi had almost forgotten that Namjoon was standing in their proximity. “I was just telling Hoseok about this weekend - Jin told me that he was going to meet up with Taehyung and Hoseok, and he asked if it would be alright for all of us to officially meet.” Namjoon smiled, but it was too distant to be directed at Yoongi. “He’s really interested in meeting you guys, he didn’t get to last year so he wants to make up for lost time.”

It was strange to see the cool, calm and collected Namjoon be so completely love-struck, but it was refreshing as well.

“It sounds great, Namjoon,” Hoseok said earnestly, ripping his eyes away from Yoongi’s long enough to direct his attention at the person he was talking to. “I honestly don’t mind it. It’s the first time we’ve all hung out, and I want to get to know Yoongi’s friends better.”

At Hoseok’s words a bright smile had flashed across Yoongi’s face which Namjoon caught instantly. Namjoon smiled back, a knowing glint in his eyes. “Thanks, Hoseok, that means a lot – and I’m sure it means a lot to Yoongs, here, as well.” Hoseok turned to Yoongi with a gleamingly bright grin, Yoongi turned his back slightly and made to observe the football game Jeongguk was partaking in that was playing out on the field. “Does anyone know if Jimin will be available?”

Yoongi caught Hoseok’s uncertain glance and he cast his eyes down at his shoes. “I haven’t heard from him. I think...” He paused, mentally deciding whether he was allowed to tell Namjoon the truth. He realised that Namjoon was Jimin’s friend too, and would definitely want to be in the know as to whether Jimin was alright. “I think he’s trying to sort himself out.”

Namjoon watched him carefully. “So, I take it that you’ve talked to him, then?”

Yoongi registered the slight hurt in his voice and words blundered around in his mind trying to shove themselves together to form an explanation.

“We both did,” Hoseok jumped to his aid. “We weren’t purposefully trying to leave you out – Jimin wanted to talk to Yoongi, probably to apologise about what had happened at the club, but I wanted to come with; I wanted to know why Jimin was avoiding all of us.” Namjoon nodded slowly, and Hoseok continued. “I’m sorry, I should have invited you – and Jeongguk, too. You’re both Jimin’s friends, you both deserve to know what’s going on. But, I don’t think me or Yoongs can tell you.”

Hoseok was standing close enough to touch, to cling onto his hand, but he refrained from doing so. His heart was jumping wildly inside of his chest as Hoseok had lent him support without him asking. Hoseok really did care about him, and although he very much appreciated Hoseok telling him so, it was rejuvenating to hear it through different means. Yoongi very badly wanted to do the same for Hoseok and he found some comfort in the fact that he already had an idea how to do so.

“‘Seok!” Someone was calling for Hoseok’s attention. The three turned towards the noise and found a rather frantic Taehyung on the opposite side of the fence, gesturing desperately for Hoseok to join him.

Hoseok waved back and yelled at him to ‘wait up’. He turned to them rather sheepishly. “Sorry,” he smiled weakly. “We should make a group chat? To talk about this weekend?”

“Oh, god,” Namjoon groaned and Yoongi snickered, getting at what he was insinuating. “This is going to get messy.”

Hoseok laughed in agreement. “Exactly! I can’t wait! I’ll make it tonight.” Yoongi’s hand received a familiar warmth. He looked to find Hoseok gazing at him, adoration woven into his smile. He squeezed Yoongi’s hand. “Talk to you in History.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi breathed out, his hand tightening around Hoseok’s before loosening his grip and allowing Hoseok to leave, his eyes never leaving Hoseok’s. “History...” He murmured faintly once Hoseok had quirked his lips into his signature enthused smile and waved goodbye before running out of the courts to meet Taehyung.

There was a brief silence before Namjoon guffawed and then let out a burst of laughter. Yoongi glared at him but couldn’t keep the smile off of his face. “What?” He demanded, struggling to keep down a laugh of his own.

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” Namjoon bluffed, his voice coming out in gasps before his laughter sobered. He shot Yoongi a sheepish glance. “It’s just I’ve never seen you so – so...”

“‘So’ what?” Yoongi challenged without threat, his smile imminent.

“So soft,” Namjoon finished, reaching to pinch at Yoongi’s cheeks. Yoongi tried to scowl but feared it came out in a grimace and moved away. “It’s adorable, really. The way he defended you was impeccable! He really likes you, Yoongs.”

Yoongi flushed. “I know. He told me.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows rose and impressive amount of centimetres. “Wow. I’m really glad you’re being open about your feelings. You said it back, right?”

“Of course!” Yoongi defended, and then pretended not to glow when the bell rang as it signalled two whole hours he would be spending with Hoseok.

“So, how far have you two gone?” Namjoon asked casually once the two exited the courts and was out of earshot of any potential eavesdroppers. Yoongi spluttered with shock, his face turning ruddy at the aptness of Namjoon’s questioning. How had Namjoon known?

Namjoon laughed again, poking Yoongi in the ribs. “You don’t have to tell me. It was just so obvious! The way he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, and the way you greeted each other like young lovers – I feel like I’m in a rom-com.”

Yoongi fell silent in mortification, thrown at Namjoon’s interpretation of the briefest of their actions. He was glad that Namjoon’s goal was to become a psychologist; that way Namjoon would be too busy reading other people to pay attention to him. Namjoon’s interpretations of others were no longer a thrill to listen to; they were becoming too accurate. Scarily accurate.

Yoongi hadn’t expected the school day to be that stressful but as he arrived back home with a stack of homework and the lectures from his teachers about applying to the right university, he resigned himself to sitting at his desk the whole night with stress surging through his system.

He had finished his Science homework and had begun researching universities, silently having a breakdown because what the fuck – he had to decide his whole future now? What did he even want to do with his life? Fortunately, his phone began buzzing persistently and distracted him from his existential crises. He checked the caller ID and was pleased to see it was Jeongguk – someone without the pressures of having to decide their fate in a span of a few months.

“Hey,” he answered, grateful for the distraction. A mutilated screech filled his eardrum and he gasped in pain, holding the phone away from his ear. “What the fuck?”

“YoongsIdiditIaskedTaehyungoutIcan’tbelieveIdidthat-”

“Whoa, whoa, what?” Yoongi tried to get Jeongguk to slow down. “Was that even a language? Did you meet up with Taehyung?”

A shuddery breath was breathed into his ear as he leant back on his chair. “Sorry, Yoongs. I kinda don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Start from the beginning,” Yoongi instructed. “Did you go and see Taehyung?”

Jeongguk, on the end of the line, must have collapsed onto a chair as there was a sound of furniture squeaking. “Yes, I did. I was thinking about it the whole day, and I had figured out what I was going to say and everything, but when I met him after school at the bus stop all of the words just – I didn’t know what to say.” Yoongi snorted and Jeongguk shushed him.

“He said that it was nice to talk to me again, and I realised that I had no idea what I was doing but it was okay because I was with him – does that make sense?” Yoongi felt a stirring in his heart as the image of Hoseok flashed across his mind, but he didn’t get a chance to agree as Jeongguk continued on. “So I said, ‘likewise’, and he laughed. Have you ever wanted to drown in someone’s laughter because it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard?” Yet again, Jeongguk didn’t give Yoongi the opportunity to answer affirmatively as he swiftly carried on with his story.

“Tae was really nice from the outset, he paid for my bus ticket to town and he kept telling me stories about his family and stuff that his dog does. It was so calming just sitting there and listening to him, I could have sat there forever. He has this little smile when he remembers something funny, and then he would turn to me and that smile would get bigger and I wanted to kiss so badly him, Yoongs, but I couldn’t.” Yoongi smiled and didn’t dare interject; he knew that feeling all too well and had only first started to experience it a few weeks back.

“So, we get to town and we’re walking so close together – at one point I think he’s trying to hold my hand, but he’s trying to stop my phone from falling out of my pocket. And when we get to the restaurant he holds the door open for me, and I don’t think I’ve ever been in more pain, his smile was – was – ethereal.”

“Oh, nice word,” Yoongi commented, running his eyes over a prestigious university before clicking off the page. There was no way that he would ever acquire the grades to be accepted, he would have to aim lower.

“Thanks, Yoongs. Anyway, after we order he tells me that he’s been wanting to talk to me for a long time – and that he’s ‘really, really, really glad’ that we started talking in the first place, to which I agreed with – but he couldn’t talk for the last few weeks because he was ‘going through a situation’... He told me about Jimin, Yoongs.” Yoongi remained silent, unsure of what to say. “It’s okay, Yoongs, don’t feel bad. I know you couldn’t tell me. But Jimin told Tae that he could tell me, so Tae said that he barely talked to anyone because he was stressing about Jimin. That’s what he said anyway.” Jeongguk didn’t sound convinced.

“You don’t believe him?”

Jeongguk sighed and Yoongi’s phone shuddered at the plosive volume. “I don’t know. I’m not sure, it’s just when he was telling me he seemed... off? Like, there was something else he wasn’t saying. Anyway, he said that he was extremely sorry and that he would do whatever it took to restore what ‘we had’, if I was willing.” There was a note of tension in Jeongguk’s voice and Yoongi tensed in anticipation. “One of the things I noticed was that he didn’t say ‘friendship’ was the only thing we had between us, and I remembered when we went to that club and we were dancing – the waywe were dancing, it just didn’t... It didn’t feel platonic.”

Yoongi hummed in agreement, recalling a fragmented image of how Taehyung and Jeongguk had been practically wrapped around each other on the dance floor.

“So...” Jeongguk started and then let out a nervous bout of laughter. “So, I thought to myself: I want him, and right now I think he wants me, so what do I have to lose? Obviously, I was ignoring the soul-crushing fear of rejection.” Yoongi laughed loudly along with Jeongguk and then silenced himself, looking forward to hearing the continuation.

“I...” Jeongguk sounded hesitant, then he cleared his throat and Yoongi heard the squeak of a chair. “I asked him what sort of things he had in mind to make it up to me, and he said ‘anything’, so...” Yoongi awaited eagerly with baited breath. “I told him, ‘how about you let me take you on a date?”

Yoongi let out a low whistle and Jeongguk laughed into his ear. “I didn’t know you had lines, ‘Guk.”

“Oh, be quiet,” Jeongguk teased. “I haven’t got to the best bit, yet, so don’t interrupt!” Yoongi mock-tutted at Jeongguk’s attitude but abided by his request. “Right, so after I say that – and then wanted to die because that was probably one of the most cringe-y things I’ve ever said – he just looked at me for a solid five seconds before leaning in, and smirking, and he said, ‘how about we not wait and count this as our first date?’”

“Wow,” Yoongi drew out in disbelief, excitement bubbled within him as he imagined Jeongguk’s incredibility towards the whole situation. He was ecstatic that things seemed to be moving forwards between the two of them; they had been smitten for years.

“I know!” Jeongguk practically yelled, his voice breaking. “Somehow I managed not to faint and I said, ‘I’d like that’, and that I’d pay because he paid last time. And then he smiled, and we started talking about everything and anything, really." He paused. "Yoongs,” he started, his voice muffled.

“Yeah?” Yoongi answered, intrigued.

“He told me that Jimin moved back into his parents’ house after he met up with his mum. I think... I think it’s going well for him.” Happiness seeped into Jeongguk’s voice which caused the same emotion to fizz within Yoongi at the news.

“I’m glad to hear that. I was worried,” Yoongi admitted. “I’m really happy for you, ‘Guk, I’m glad that Taehyung feels the same.”

“Well, I don’t really know,” Jeongguk began, his voice hesitant. “We talked about our next date – which is this Sunday, the day after we meet up with Hoseok and all of his friends – but we didn’t talk about our feelings. I don’t know if he feels the same for certain.”

“Oh,” Yoongi floundered, his mind stuck. “Message him.”

“You said the same thing about Chunhei,” Jeongguk chuckled. Yoongi’s mind scampered to place the name with the person and remembered, Jeongguk’s ex-girlfriend. Oh. Right. “It’s impersonal. I’d rather do it in person, so I’ll try on Sunday.”

“Still, it’s something, isn’t it?” Yoongi offered to try and redeem himself. “He turned your meet up into a date and agreed to go on another one. Don’t think about it as getting your hopes up, and think confidently. He likes you, ‘Guk.” It was advice that he wished he could have believed in when Hoseok had first confessed his feelings to him, Yoongi had second-guessed every single one of his own actions when he had begun to like Hoseok back.

He didn’t need to see Jeongguk to know that he was smiling. “Thanks, Yoongs. You’re a good friend.”

Yoongi was sure that the warmth in his chest had nothing to do with the heat radiating from the radiator in his room. He felt extraordinarily blessed by every person he was surrounded by. Yoongi longed for a future where it could be so, him and Hoseok happy together, along with Namjoon, Seokjin, Jeongguk and Taehyung. It felt right. Like it was meant to be.

(Jung Hoseok formed a chat) (Jung Hoseok has invited you, Kim Taehyung, Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Jeon Jeongguk and Park Jimin to the chat.) (Jung Hoseok has named the chat: saturdays loser-fest)

Kim Seokjin: I’m not a loser :(

(Jung Hoseok has named the chat: saturdays cool-fest minus Jin cuz he’s a loser)

Kim Seokjin: we haven’t spoken in a month and this is how you treat me?

Jung Hoseok: maybe if u werent such a loser id be nicer :)

Kim Seokjin: It’s been a month and you haven’t learnt grammar. This makes me sad

Kim Namjoon: I can’t believe you ever held such grand expectations for him.

Kim Seokjin: I didn’t, I lied ;)

Jung Hoseok: GET A ROOM!!!!!!!!!! Jung Hoseok: and RUDE!!!! :(

Kim Seokjin: We were on our own chatROOM until you interrupted us!

Jung Hoseok: fine go back to it then i didnt wanna see u this saturday anyway :)

Kim Namjoon: I take personal offence.

Jung Hoseok: Namjoon pls stop with the fullstops it makes me nervous

Kim Namjoon: Why.?. Kim Namjoon: Does grammar offend you so badly?. Kim Namjoon: .

Jung Hoseok: i rate you the worst out of yoongs friends

Kim Namjoon: :(

Kim Seokjin: hey, back off of my man!

Jung Hoseok: thats not how young ppl talk

Kim Seokjin: Okay, now I remember why I didn’t talk to you for a month

Jung Hoseok: ????? why ever not im an angel :)

Min Yoongi: you’re really not

Kim Namjoon: ooooohh drama

Kim Seokjin: brb I’m getting popcorn

Jung Hoseok: u guys are officially the worst, u deserve each other Jung Hoseok: yoongs why are u being mean????? :(

Jeon Jeongguk: Hoseok, why can’t you type?

Kim Seokjin: OOOOH! SHOTS FIRED

Jung Hoseok: again thATS NOT HOW YOUNG PPL TALK!!!!!!!!!!!

Kim Seokjin: Joon, please hit him when you see him tomorrow

Kim Namjoon: Will do, I’ll defend your honour

Jeon Jeongguk: Just a warning for Joon, if you send any of your poetry on this group chat, I’m leaving

Jung Hoseok: POETRY????? JIN U DIDN’T TELL ME THIS Jung Hoseok: also don’t worry Jeongguk ill kick them out if they do

Kim Seokjin: It’s not my job to tell you every detail of our relationship, dear :)

Kim Namjoon: You just confirmed it on purpose, didn’t you?

Kim Seokjin: maybe :) Kim Seokin: maybe I want everyone to know how sweet my boyfriend is :)

Kim Namjoon: the amount of smiley-faces tells me otherwise, it tells me you want me to suffer.

Jung Hoseok: NAMJOON PLEASE STOP WITH THE STOPS Jung Hoseok: yoongs don’t think i cant see u lurking and not replying to my question: why am i not an angel????

Min Yoongi: I was just reading the messages

Jung Hoseok: did u see them all ganging up against me?????

Min Yoongi: yeah

Jung Hoseok: :)

Min Yoongi: I laughed

Jung Hoseok: :(

Kim Seokjin: PAWWWWNED

Jung Hoseok: i will kill you

Kim Namjoon: and I won’t stop him.

Kim Seokjin: Why is my boyfriend so mean?

Jung Hoseok: why is MY boyfriend so mean??????? :(

Jeon Jeongguk: wait, are you guys officially dating?

Min Yoongi: oh, shit, Guk, I’m sorry Min Yoongi: I didn’t tell you Min Yoongi: I’ll tell you why on private

Jung Hoseok: oops Jung Hoseok: did i fuck up???

Min Yoongi: No, Seok, don’t worry, it’s my fault Min Yoongi: I’ll be back soon

Jung Hoseok: ill miss u

Kim Seokjin: GET A ROOM!

Kim Namjoon: GET A ROOM!

Kim Seokjin: Joon, care to explain why you’re stealing my words?

Kim Namjoon: That freaked me out, too. Kim Namjoon: Maybe it’s because I know you so well?

Kim Taehyung: I come online to find everyone flirting, can I join in?

Kim Seokjin: No

Kim Taehyung: ...t a problem??? WOW THANKS! <3 Kim Taehyung: Seok you looked really nice today ;) Kim Taehyung: Jin I didnt see you but I assume you looked nice today ;)

Kim Seokjin: Is this how you flirt with that kid you told me about a year back? It’s disgusting

Jung Hoseok: Jin can u send us some poetry that Namjoon sent u Jung Hoseok: Namjoon do I have permission to call u Joon cuz we’re defo gonna be bonding after this

Kim Namjoon: Jin, if you do that I will break up with you. Kim Namjoon: You can, but that sounded very ominous.

Jung Hoseok: omfg no please dont break up Joon might write some sad poetry:(

Kim Namjoon: Any chance of us becoming close just crumbled away.

Jung Hoseok: im sorry!!!!!

Kim Taehyung: Seok, why dont you tell everyone that haiku you wrote about Yoongi in the fourth year?

Jung Hoseok: i fucking hate u Kim Taehyung

Kim Taehyung: thats a shame because I love you <33333

Kim Namjoon: Oh? You know what, Hoseok, you should share your haiku.

Jung Hoseok: JIGKW I HATE U ALL Jung Hoseok: u know what??? Fine, I will!!! Im not ashamed of it because I love Jung Hoseok: love it Jung Hoseok: I love the haiku because it’s nostalgic Jung Hoseok: and im not ashamed of it being about yoongs because yoongs is my bae

Kim Seokjin: That’s not how young people talk

Jung Hoseok: I curse you and your work-out routine

Kim Taehyung: omg, Seok do you still have it??

Jung Hoseok: should do Jung Hoseok: but heres the deal!!! Jung Hoseok: if I send the haiku, Jin sends one of the poems Joon wrote for him!!!

Kim Taehyung: oooOOH I love this!!!

Kim Namjoon: Jin. If you want me to come to yours on Sunday you will not give in.

Kim Seokjin: (Picture attachment) Kim Seokjin: Oops! My hand slipped!

Kim Namjoon: WHY.

Jung Hoseok: O H MY GODODODO Jung Hoseok: ARE U SEEING THIS TAE???

Kim Taehyung: sorry, I blacked out after, ‘you’re the only one, it’s you my heart has won’

Jung Hoseok: (Picture attachment) Jung Hoseok: ACTUAL PICTURE OF ME RN

Kim Taehyung: oh MY GOD, ARE YOU CRYING???

Jung Hoseok: OF LAUGHTER

Kim Taehyung: I’m so glad! I was gonna say if you liked this you’re so weird

Kim Seokjin: Oh? Really now?

Kim Taehyung: SHIT

Kim Namjoon: For the record, I wrote that a year ago.

Kim Taehyung: I’m sure you can do loads better now!

Jung Hoseok: omg tae are u trying to win Joons favour? JIN!! TAES TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!!

Kim Seokjin: Put your hands up, Tae!

Kim Taehyung: NEVER! Kim Taehyung: while we’re here, the real question is: Jin, did you ever write poems back?

Jung Hoseok: there is silence Jung Hoseok: OJIGKN HE DID!!!

Min Yoongi: We’re back Min Yoongi: What’s going on?

Jung Hoseok: yoongs I missed u Jung Hoseok: SCROLL BACK UP OKRGLW

Min Yoongi: I missed you, too Min Yoongi: Okay

Kim Taehyung: holy shit, you two are married

Jeon Jeongguk: you two are so whipped

Jung Hoseok: whOA, the telepathy twins are here!!!!

Kim Taehyung: hey, ‘Guk :)

Jeon Jeongguk: hey, Tae

Jung Hoseok: is it just me OR IS IT GETTING STEAMY IN HERE

Kim Taehyung: Hoseok shut up.

Jung Hoseok: oh sorry

Kim Seokjin: Joon, you still are coming to mine this Sunday, right?

Kim Namjoon: It depends.

Kim Seokjin: On?

Kim Namjoon: Will you wear what I bought you?

Jung Hoseok: O EWIUFJKNK

Jeon Jeongguk: Is this kinky? I think it’s kinky

Kim Seokjin: Of course, I’ll wear it

Kim Namjoon: Then I’m all yours

Kim Seokjin: I’m yours

Jung Hoseok: WOW OH JEEZ PEOPLE WE HAVE MINORS HERE Jung Hoseok: Jeongguk look away!!!!

Kim Namjoon: It backfired, Hoseok. My poems worked.

Jung Hoseok: ?????

Kim Namjoon: Question, Hoseok: Did your haiku get you laid?

Jung Hoseok: O MY GODDDDOOODOD

Min Yoongi: it might

Jung Hoseok: YOONGS GET OFF THE CHAT NOW

Kim Seokjin: I think he’d rather get you off, Seok

Jung Hoseok: choke. Actually choke

Kim Namjoon: Oh, I’ve got that covered.

Kim Taehyung: I feel like I’m reading R 18 smut

Jeon Jeongguk: Am I watching porn right now?

Kim Taehyung: oh

Jeon Jeongguk: hi again

Kim Taehyung: we need to stop doing this hahaha :)

Jeon Jeongguk: We should, but I guess our minds are connected now hahaha

Jung Hoseok: IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE Jung Hoseok: YOONGS???

Min Yoongi: yes?

Kim Seokjin: Now your boyfriend’s here, Seok, I think it’s only fair you keep your part of the bargain and send your haiku :)

Kim Namjoon: God, I love you, babe.

Jung Hoseok: ok i think this its time that u two GO AWAY

Kim Namjoon: Never.

Min Yoongi: Seok, you should always keep your word

Kim Seokjin: Yoongi, I don’t know you very well, but I love you Kim Seokjin: [your picture is so cute, by the way, I can see why Seok likes you :)]

Jung Hoseok: ummm excuse me but stop flirting with my boyfriend!!!! Jung Hoseok: also yoongs is so much more than his beautiful appearance u loser

Min Yoongi: Thanks, Seokjin Min Yoongi: You were always the most handsome guy in your year, I remember that Min Yoongi: Also, Seok, trying to butter me up won’t change anything Min Yoongi: you owe me a three year old haiku

Kim Seokjin: aww, you know just what to say, thank you :)

Kim Taehyung: Seok, listen to your boyfriend and send it

Jeon Jeongguk: I agree, please do

Kim Namjoon: Do it. Kim Namjoon: Yoongs, make a threat.

Min Yoongi: If Seok doesn’t actually want to send it, he doesn’t have to Min Yoongi: I don’t want to make a threat

Jung Hoseok: SORRY IM BACK I FOUND IT Jung Hoseok: (Picture attachment) Jung Hoseok: aww yoongs its fine i want the people to see how much I love Jung Hoseok: love this haiku and the memories it brings :’)

Kim Taehyung: what the hell, Seok Kim Taehyung: I don’t remember it being this sweet??

Jeon Jeongguk: that was actually pretty good, Hoseok

Kim Seokjin: Jung Hoseok. You never told me about this talent! Kim Seokjin: It’s good, isn’t it, Joon?

Kim Namjoon: I’m Kim Namjoon: You

Kim Taehyung: SEOK! I THINK YOU BROKE NAMJOON!!

Jeon Jeongguk: Namjoon is currently malfunctioning Jeon Jeongguk: Okay, we need to stop saying the same thing

Kim Taehyung: hahahaha :)

Kim Namjoon: That was good. Kim Namjoon: I’m being serious, Seok – can I call you that? Kim Namjoon: That was three years ago and you liked Yoongs that much?

Jung Hoseok: wait what really all of u like it Jung Hoseok: ????? Jung Hoseok: ah sorry yes Joon you can call me Seok Jung Hoseok: i cant believe this oh wowooo

Min Yoongi: Hoseok

Jung Hoseok: oh god

Kim Taehyung: THE FINAL JUDGEMENT IS HERE PEOPLE

Jung Hoseok: hi yoongs Jung Hoseok: please don’t dump me im so sorry its so cringey and really weird

Min Yoongi: I love Min Yoongi: it Min Yoongi: your haiku was really good Min Yoongi: I’m really impressed Min Yoongi: I didn’t know you could write like that

Jung Hoseok: oh Jung Hoseok: you really liked it?? Jung Hoseok: that makes me so happy

Min Yoongi: I didn’t know you felt that strongly back then Min Yoongi: I don’t really know what to say Min Yoongi: I wish I could repay you

Kim Taehyung: Um Namjoon

Jeon Jeongguk: It looks like the haiku CAN get Hoseok laid

Kim Taehyung: ‘Guk I’m convinced that we were separated at birth

Kim Seokjin: I think that would be incest

Kim Namjoon: Maybe I should start writing haiku’s.

Kim Seokjin: You don’t need to do that to get laid, just say the word Kim Seokjin: Where’s Seok?

Kim Namjoon: You can’t just say things like that and expect to get away with it.

Jeon Jeongguk: this is getting kinky again

Jung Hoseok: Yoongs, you honestly don’t need to do anything in return, having you is enough already, I’ve got everything I’ve wanted for seven years and that’s never going to change. It means so much to me that you like my cringey haiku, it means so much to me that you care about my feelings when you said I didn’t have to send it. You mean so much to me, I want you to know that, Yoongs, and I can’t wait for our first date next Saturday, I really hope you’ll like it. And I was thinking that if you still wanted to, you could come to mine on the Sunday after the date? I’ll do something about my parents and my sister, so it’ll just be us. I want you in my room, Yoongs, I want you on my bed and I never want you to leave

Kim Taehyung: UM

Jung Hoseok: IWOPJWEK OH MY GOD Jung Hoseok: WRONG CHAT HOLY SHIT Jung Hoseok: I WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO SEND THE SECOND PART OF THAT MESSAGE Jung Hoseok: TAE YOU SAVED MY LIFE

Kim Taehyung: there wasn’t much to save Kim Taehyung: I need to clean my eyes

Kim Seokjin: Joon, forget about the haiku’s and the dirty poems, can you write smut like Seok was about to?

Kim Namjoon: Why write it when I can do it to you, babe?

Jung Hoseok: I HATE YOU GUYS OMFG YOONGS IM SO SORRY Jung Hoseok: YOONGS CAN U EVER FORGIVE ME

Min Yoongi: Seok Min Yoongi: I just got your other message Min Yoongi: Go onto private Min Yoongi: Now

Jung Hoseok: oh god yes

Kim Taehyung: oh, that’s disgusting

Jeon Jeongguk: gross

Kim Seokjin: Joon

Kim Namjoon: Yes, baby?

Kim Seokjin: Private, now, please? :)

Kim Namjoon: Finally.

Jeon Jeongguk: is it just us left?

Kim Taehyung: And Jimin, but I don’t think he’s been using his phone

Jeon Jeongguk: Oh, I see Jeon Jeongguk: No one even talked about the time we’re supposed to be meeting up at

Kim Taehyung: They’re hopeless Kim Taehyung: It’s up to us! What time are you free?

Jeon Jeongguk: We should all go for lunch, so I’m free at 12 :)

Kim Taehyung: okay, 12 it is

Jeon Jeongguk: Are you definitely free then?

Kim Taehyung: I have this thing, but I can reschedule

Jeon Jeongguk: are you sure?

Kim Taehyung: yeah, definitely Kim Taehyung: if you’re coming then I definitely am not gonna miss it

Jeon Jeongguk: :) Jeon Jeongguk: are we still on for Sunday then?

Kim Taehyung: I wouldn’t miss it for the world <3

[sometipsygnostalgic]

But they're not doing it because he's a rush youtuber? They're doing it cause they hated seeing such a vile person make money off their game. Like the dev literally said this, "There is a bit of leeway you have to have with the internet when you wake up every day and make video games. There's also a breaking point. I am sick of this child getting more and more chances to make money off of what we make." :/

but that comment they made is absolutely incorrect. felix’s content is his own, he doesnt pirate their games, he doesnt post anything that goes against fair use. the videos he makes are all his own effort, and it’s “good advertisement” not just for youtube which probably makes millions from him, but for every game that he plays. he isnt a harsh critic and fucks around with every game, so like, theres no such thing as “damages” in this scenario - he makes them popular with his own work. the firewatch dude’s comment made it sound like felix doesnt work at all, but like, youtubers make a living off of something entertaining but difficult to maintain, just like any cartoonist or game developer.

now, whether you like the content of his videos and work is a different matter. i certainly dont - it’s really juvenile and he’s, like, 30 now. he shouldnt be saying this shit, calling things slurs. the only people ive EVER heard do that had some kind of cocky malice in their heart, and its clear he doesnt give a shit. like i said, hes fallen out with basically every sponsor he’s had. of course they were probably dumb to go with him in the first place since he has never hid his kind of “humor”. 

as for developers getting to boycott him though…. jesus christ, thats not the way to deal with it. you cant set a precedent for developers taking action against critics, or it’s going to backfire so hard the games industry will implode. why are we weaponizing DMCA NOTICES? why NOW? the firewatch guy is letting so many people record his game, and boy i doubt theyre all very nice, theres probaly a lot of racists and dumb youtubers. why is it suddenly wrong when it’s this ONE GUY, who made a brief offence that wasnt even related to him?

it’s attention-grabby, it’s shady, and it’s very… juvenile. “i dont like you so im going to be THE ONE to FINALLY BOYCOTT UR CAREER”??? fuck off. why dont you act like every other developer with common sense and just say you wont associate with him anymore?

like, anyone who thinks this is a good idea probably doesnt know a lot about whats been going on with youtube and the gaming industry recently. if theres a bad precedent, theyre going to take it.