#... invalidating those type of posts it's just that it feels like I'm going through a growing wall of text. And I'm a selfish and ...

[menheraboypussy]

I am an insane attention whore. I dislike tumblr's reblog system cause sometimes your post is at the bottom of a reblog chain.

I hate that shit. I want my shit to be on top to bother OP or at least people see my shit over others 😡💢💢💢😡.

Anyone else feel this way?

[sorry-i-like-romantic-fabriz]

I'm not lying when I say at this point, there's more posts condemning and harassing fans that ship Riz with anyone than there are ACTUAL RIZ SHIPPING POSTS.

With the amount of posts I've seen where people claim Riz shippers are running rampant everywhere and ruining the fandom, you'd think those kinds of posts and blogs would be inescapable. That if you go into the "Riz Gukgak" tag, every other post will be ship oriented. That the most popular Riz blogs are filled with ship content.

Yet going into the tag for ANY ship with Riz, you'll see week and even months long gaps between posts. Going into the "Riz Gukgak" tag itself, you'll find more posts berating shipping Riz than actual posts shipping Riz. These people are upset over something that's not happening.

I know not everyone tags their posts, but that just makes all this ship-centered anger even more baffling. It means if you're constantly seeing shipping posts with Riz, you are actively seeking them out.

You are making the choice to look for things that upset you. You are making the choice to find what little content there is of something that upsets you and distressing yourself over it. If you can easily avoid fan works that cause you distress, you are making the active decision to let a certain type affect you. Your constant anger over these works existing is self inflicted.

You are the one letting a very small portion of fandom make you feel invalidated. While you cannot always control what makes you feel insecure, seeking out that which does is by your own volition. If something existing in such small amounts makes you feel invalid, then there are two things happening.

1.) You are incredibly, irrationally insecure about yourself. If all it takes to make you feel invalid is the existence of something you don't like, that is something for you to personally work through. It's not everyone else's job to ensure you're always feeling valid in your own personal label.

2.) You are using your identity to attempt to control people and stop them from doing things you personally don't like. Playing the "fans doing this makes me feel invalid" strategy doesn't work when the thing you claim they're doing is not actually happening. You are using your identity to validate your unnecessary anger towards something you don't like.

I understand the strong connection we can feel towards fictional characters, and I understand how important representation is. However, when you use those feelings to justify your harassment of others within a fandom, all your doing is throwing a tantrum. You are doing the equivalent of a toddler going, "People aren't playing how I like to play, they need to either do it my way or stop."

[lil-lost-mind]

(This is a bit of a along post about my general experience in the qsmp fandom, both good and bad, and it does mention xenophobia but not direct experiences)

I'm happy to see people here being so nice and reminding that we(Brazilians) are welcome here

I was really hesitant about interacting with fandom at first, I actually was there the Brazilians arrived because suddenly tazercraft live appeared for me on YouTube, I joined for a moment but didn't stay long, but I did look about it later. Because Brazilians youtubers/streamers are on a server with a bunch of people from other countries? I was curious about what this would lead to

Didn't regret it, but since then, I was a bit scared of interacting on fandom. Some comments on clips were fine. But then I started using tumblr because of a friend's recommendation, I kept a look on what was happening on lore on general but didn't really interact on fandom. Hence why I created this blog, and also why it took me so long to link this blog to my main one

Because, well, if I got hate for any reason, it would only be a sideblog that I only posted about qsmp. I could just delete it or just ignore them

I am by nature a person who is very shy to talk about my interests, it might have nothing wrong about it but I'm shy, I'm the type of person who goes on asks box on anon because is too shy, even if I'm not doing anything wrong there's this fear of judgemeent.

In the light of the recent events, I am once again reminded that's why I don't use or plan to use Twitter, but still I couldn't avoid but feel... scared in a way, I don't think anyone would like to be treated that way. And even a bit ashamed of saying that I'm brazilian. Ashamed might not be the right word, but there's this feeling wich is similar, and while I'm proud of being a brazilian, I just... maybe invalidate is a more fitting word, it's just feels like my culture is unimportant compared to others.

And this is what it seems, in my understanding, what looks like suffering from xenophobia is, but I imagine it's worse suffering it directly ofc, and ironically, I don't think I ever felt like that for those reasons before. And while I can't talk about how it feels when suffering from it directly, I feel bad for the people who had to go through it(not only Brazilians). Nobody should feel ashamed of their culture or ethnicity

Ofc tumblr isn't free of people like that. After all, no social media will be free from intolerance. But it feels like it's harder to see it. But I can't emphasize enough how it makes me happy to see so many people saying their blog is a safe place for us. After seeing this stuff, it makes things better, for me, at least. It reminds me that my culture isn't less important than any other

And qsmp brought something beautiful, the unity of communities. Because even with those bad things happening, it's not the only thing in fandom, it happens, and any fandom has this, unfortunately. But I love to see every time someone talks about their culture, facts about their languages, to see people motivated in learning new languages. It's beautiful and makes me happy each time

I don't regret making myself part of the fandom, the opposite, really, I've met creators that I would have never without the qsmp. I've met amazing people there, I've found incredible artists and writers. I've had fun

I've found the motivation to learn new languages again, more passion to draw

And I'm thankful to everyone there who is incredibly nice and so made me more comfortable interacting here, even if they will probably never know

So despite everything, I think it was worth it

Was worth reading character analysis and theories, enjoying stories, seeing fanart and animatics, learning new language facts and about other cultures. Was worth seeing people being happy

Again, I'm very thankful for all the people who made me, and I'm going to assume a lot of other people who needed to hear that, comfortable and validate here, I can't express how much this made me happy, I hope everyone coming from twitter have a good time here<3

And a very big and sincere "VAI TOMAR NO CU" to any xenophobic and racist person

I know very few people will see this, or even read everything, but I had to say this somewhere, so yeah, I'm rambling on tumblr again:D

[ticklishsubbyjamie]

TRIGGER WARNING - CONTAINS VERY PERSONAL AND VERY SENSITIVE TOPICS SUCH AS SEVERE DEPRESSION AND TRAUMA, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

This is the real me, these are my true everyday thoughts.

The last thing I ever want to do is trauma dump anyone, but I need to release my pent up emotions somewhere. Please take the warning above seriously if this type of stuff makes you uncomfortable. I'm going on a sad and angry rant purely about local people i know in real life, NOT about anyone i talk to on tumblr, I genuinely love you. There will be very aggresive language. I'm posting this because this blog is my safe space and frankly i need somewhere to say what i'm about to say without paying for therapy.

I'm trying my best. I really am. It may not look it but i am. Me eating even 100 calories in a day, or waking up in the morning, is the best i have to give right now.

I am so far gone i don't even understand what's happening. I'm so fucking tired of life and don't know how much i can take anymore.

Tired of life-or-death level family trauma. I love them with all my heart and eternally grateful for the good they've provided to me, but can't ignore the bad either. They have ripped me apart, between being the golden child who's supposed to become a doctor and save the family, to the marriage counsellor/therapist for my parents, the lighting rod for my older brothers countless reckless idiotic actions, the suicide threats from family and friends and tearing myself apart trying to keep them alive, I can't take it anymore.

Tired of feeling hopeless, tired of feeling insecure about being 23 and still not having any sexual experience whatsoever because my attention was on my family and grades instead of living my life. Tired of watching the girls i fall so deeply in love in end up dating my closest friends it's fucking torture. It's pure fucking torture. I'm tired of telling people how i feel about still being single and told that being single is the best as if it isn't the most invalidating thing they could possibly say. Try never having any experience for your whole life, including never having your first kiss and tell me how you feel watching all your friends talk about their love lives, or having to watch it everyday knowing that it's something you'll never have.

Tired of walking around dead inside, tired of wearing a fake smike until i come home and crumble apart and pick myself back up the next morning to make it through the day, tired of losing interest in activities i used to be passionate about, tired of pretending like everything is ok, tired of constant doubt, tired of feeling the most depressed on christmas, new years, my birthday, pretty much any day that should be celebratory. Tired of the fact that everything i try to be happy doesn't work. I tried to gym consistently for 4 months, healthy diet, full time job, take care of myself, i can't anymore.

Graduating college very soon and all i can think about is how i became a shell of myself in those 4 years when i always dreamed about how college would be the place where i'd become the most happy and free. Instead it was disappointment and constant heart break over and over, from a straight A student aspiring to become a doctor to just trying to stay alive wondering what's the point...

I'm still trying my best

[shibonzakura]

People actually hoping for no romance between Zoro and Tashigi in season two of the live action and threaten the showrunners piss me off!!

I'm not sure if they just don't want to see Zoro in a relationship because they self insert themselves too much or something else like the whole looking like Kuina thing ( which Zoro doesn't compare Tashigi to her anymore ) but it's not cool to want to destroy another person's ship for petty reasons.

Both characters do confess to have some type of feeling at each other through SBS's and official novels co-written by Oda but they are typical tsundere's that they won't say anything until it's probably too late or something.

They even had a whole special DLC episode dedicated to them in World Seeker. Zoro even smiles more around Tashigi in those official treasure cruise photo's of each other.

Look, if there isn't going be any romance, that's fine. There's always fanfiction. But to actively threaten people because of a ship you have unwanted beef with for some reason is really dumb and childish. I also believe that those certain people want to not have it happen in the Live Action so they can invalidate those who ship Zoro with Tashigi.

I am glad my mutuals are for the most part open to seeing ZoTash things and are always supportive of my girl Tashigi & her complicated relationship with a certain green himbo. Anyways, sorry for the long rant but those anti posts are showing up in her tags and I wanted to address my thoughts.

[harloqui]

Wordsmith

I've read some of the books on the San and the n|om-kxaosi. I'm not done with them, but I've read enough to help me get an idea of what the San might be experiencing. In relation to my own experiences, they sound incredibly similar, but off in certain places where it counts. I've never seen God's magical ostrich egg, I can't do some of the shaker rituals, and some of their beliefs conflict with my own, but overall, if you were to squint your eyes hard enough and ignore those differences, we could pass as the same thing. I'm not a n|om-kxaosi, but this helps put things into perspective for me.

Then, I circled back to my own culture's beliefs, because I realized that what I described here might have been a spiritual awakening? I do think now I was a bit overzealous in considering it a form of shifting, but in some ways it still fits that description, since I am taking an animal form... even if nonphysical.

Physical shifting is observably physical, so it doesn't fall into the realm of spiritual. The spiritual stuff can bleed into the physical world, so that gives me some trouble with differentiating the two, but I've found that the physical just... feels physical, for lack of a better word? I described it in a previous post, but the physical shifting typically affects my body in a way spiritually shifting does not.

I'm kinda coming to the conclusion that whatever I am is somewhere in the realm of "shaman/spiritualist/witch", or something along those lines. There's the spiritual part, which not every shifter has - it can be a part, but it's not neccessary to be a shifter - and then there's the physical part, which obviously not every shaman/spiritualist/witch has. Shamans are known for being shapeshifters - even if it's a stereotype, it is a stereotype with a grain of truth to it - and witches have been treated as shifters since the dark ages. Spiritualists aren't really associated with shifters, but they're associated with a host of other paranormal phenomena, and some of those are variants of physical shapeshifting. If you identify me with them, you've got a good portion of my beliefs down.

I think what's making this extra hard is that I'm not really doing anything with these abilities. I'm not trying to save others or shift to help the community, my abilities are mainly for myself and my friends, if anything. It's not for (direct) spiritual enlightenment and so it's causing my experiences to differ substantially from those who use their talents this way.

...Honestly, my culture does have a name for all of this, but I'm reluctant to use it. This is technically Obeah, but the word has a sort of stigma to it. It's not a valid stigma, but it still makes me a little reluctant to use it. The word does fit my practices and beliefs, but I'm also worried that I would be using it inappropriately - obeahs are born with the gift, but sometimes go through a form of training, and if I don't have that, can I call myself an obeah? ...Though even obeahs nowadays just use the internet and learn on their own instead of searching for a teacher, since it can be difficult (and sometimes dangerous) to find one.

...I think for now I'm going to use the words that come naturally to me, and worry about the details later. I shouldn't have to fit my experiences into a box; all shifters are different and have different reasons for being the way they are. Seeing as how I'm still human and I'm not a "purebred", I don't see why I couldn't experience multiple types of shifting, or even types humans only experience, like the spiritual stuff. I've felt a mild pressure to use older or cultural variants of the "modern" terms I use now to satisfy older shifters and avoid getting heckled by outsiders to the community, but if it's not something I feel comfortable doing, then I shouldn't do it. I'm actually kind of happy using the Westernized versions and terminology I've grown accustomed to, and I don't think my usage of a "newer" word should invalidate my experiences.

I'll still seek out terminology for information purposes, but I think I'm done with my search for more words.

[mlmxreader]

I dont want to do this anonymously because I feel like it’s better to say this as me. So I saw your posts about konigsblog also and I wanted to kinda share my experience as someone who previously used to interact with their blog. In the beginning I used to read a lot of their fluffy posts when they were a pretty common occurrence, but then I started to notice a switch. A lot of their stuff started to become a lot more dark and way out of character, like they didn’t play or watch any COD related stuff at all. As a victim of SA, I thought that I had to enjoy what they were writing because I hear a lot about people coping through dark topics, even though it made me uncomfortable. I mean their posts always gained a lot of traction, so I had to like it, right? I guess in retrospect I wasn’t in the best mindset and those type of posts made me regress back to a darker place, and I thought I would be the oddball if I didn’t enjoy them like everyone else did. Then it dawned on me the way they were portraying topics such as non-con, abusive relationships, and even step family scenarios almost in a fetish type way. It really opened my eyes to how I did not feel okay with this and this wasn’t the type of thing for me, I was looking for something that comforted me. I do read a lot of recovery and aftermath stories with my favorite characters cause I found that to be a better way to cope and move forward. It really upsets me to see the 141 be portrayed as just the worst people and the excuse always being “they’re murderers, it’s their job to kill.” A lot of this is what really turns me away from the COD fandom.

Sorry if this sounds rushed and looks like a bunch of mumbo jumbo, but I think your posts really helped me get my thoughts straight and share my experience. 😭

I do apologise profusely for taking so long to answer this; it's partially because I'm no longer in the cod fandom (just write for a few select characters), and bc I also don't really want to be harassed again by proshippers. however, I do thoroughly want to take the time to adress some of your points.

I mostly want to say this: I am so, so, so sorry. I am incredibly sorry that you felt like you were in the position where you felt as if you HAD to engage with it and where you felt as if your uncomfort was not a priority. nobody should EVER have to feel that way, EVER. and you should never have to had gone through that.

I completely understand what you mean when you say that you weren't in the best mindset, and I do truly hope that you've started to get better now. but I am, again, so very sorry that it made you regress; it's truly awful to hear and that shouldn't have happened to you whatsoever. you're NOT an oddball, you're NOT invalid, and you're certainly NOT obligated to engage with anyone for any reason - especially if their content makes you feel uncomfortable. the peer pressure is UNBELIEVABLE, and again, I am very sorry that you had to go through that because you didn't deserve to.

of course! I 100% get what you mean when you say that it's portrayed as a fetish - bc it is! I mean, all it takes is one quick search on ao3 to see it plain as day. and naturally you WOULD want to seek comfort - one way or another, we all do! so it really is NOT your fault at ALL. and you should never be made or belittled or bullied into thinking so either. I totally get what you mean when you talk about recovery fics, and I do think that there's no issue w them whatsoever (not my personal cup of tea, but still), and you're right to WANT them to exist!!

honestly? this exact issue is one of several (as well as the racism, homophobia & saneism, PLUS the harassment!) reasons why I left the cod fandom tbh - and I've yet to look back! I think, if that's what's right for you, then absolutely go for it - ik a few friends who haven't LEFT the fandom, but they do only stick to people they know or people who they're CERTAIN don't post those kinds of things. but anything you choose (stay, leave, partial leave) is absolutely valid imho!

again, ik im saying it a lot, but I am really sorry that you've had that experience and I do sincerely hope you're feeling even a little bit better now <3

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hi! I'm an artist currently drawing a comic. The story is finished and I've edited this thing to oblivion. The problem is, I keep thinking about all its flaws. Characters being too similar, plot making no sense, character dynamics being borderline inappropriate, etc. However, when I actually read the story, I enjoy it. I laugh at my jokes, the action excites me and I am genuinely impressed by the way each scene flows into the next. Is this just my critical brain not letting me make progress?

Feeling Story is Flawed, Even After a Lot of Editing

Let's start here: "I've edited this thing to oblivion," and "Characters are too similar, plot makes no sense, character dynamics are borderline inappropriate, etc.," are two conflicting statements.

So, one of two things must be true: 1 - When you say you've "edited this thing into oblivion," you're talking specifically about editing mechanics issues like spelling and grammar mistakes, typos, punctuation errors, formatting issues, etc. Which, unfortunately, would mean that you've actually only edited this thing halfway to oblivion... part of editing is fixing issues like the ones you've mentioned. Making sure your characters are distinct, making sure the plot makes sense (filling in plot holes, fixing continuity errors, making sure everything is believable within what you've laid out for the story, tying up important loose threads), and making sure you're happy with character dynamics are all part of editing, too. So, if you didn't do those things on any of your earlier editing passes, you still need to.

2 - You DID work on all of those things when you edited, and some part of you knows you've gotten them to the best place you can get them to, but your brain is still telling you there are problems even if there probably aren't.

Having said that:

If number one definitely isn't the case, number two is. And, the fact that you're able to enjoy the story when you read it leads me to believe that's probably the case. You did take all those things into account when you edited, your brain is just being an ass. Which is something a lot of us experience, especially writers who are ND or have various personality traits. In other words, it's not unusual for brains to behave that way.

So, what do you do about it?

That depends on what you plan to do with this comic. If you just did it for yourself or for friends, or if you're sharing it on your blog or social media and are happy with where it's at, you just have to be happy with knowing you did your best with it and it makes you happy, so it will probably make others happy.

If you plan to seek publishing for this comic, or if you really just feel like you need a second opinion, go ahead and get another set of eyes on the story. Our opinions on our own work can't exist in a vacuum. They need to be validated or invalidated by a knowledgeable third-party, and ideally multiple knowledgeable third-parties. That's why we have alpha and beta readers who are other writers or are readers of the type of thing we write. It's why we have critique partners who are other writers, why we look to writing groups for feedback, and why we hire editors. Because if others read through your story and see the same flaws you see, you know they need to be fixed. If they don't see the same flaws you see, you have confirmation that it's just your brain being mean, and you don't have to listen to it. If the results are mixed, you can fix what you want to fix and not worry about the rest.

I hope that helps! :)

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[lastcatghost]

Long post incoming, and I'm in a grumpy mood so apologies if it comes off insulting or invalidating. Please read through, if nothing else on this page, please read this post.

Well, though many of yall who read this wall don't know me personally, I think? Either way thought I'd make a quick post updating folks on some happenings.

First, I now own my own livable structure. It's more like a shed on wheels, but it's perfect and it's mine.

Secondly, I'm way behind my original goal for getting this started, but life happens.

I'm going to begin doing summer outreach, and will be posting a fund raise post later once I type it up.

I'm not necessarily asking of yall strangers of this internet corner to send me money or anything like that, but rather an offer open to anybody:

Do you want to make real and significant changes to your community? Do you walk by people begging in the streets and think either how much you wished they'd disappear, or how much you wished you could help them, but you just weren't good financially to even afford sparing a single dollar? Have you heard you or your housed neighbors start blaming homeless people for their suffering in this system, only to keep being a part of the problem instead of the solution?

Well do I have an offer for you! If you want to help improve your community and the lives of ALL people who live in your area, if you wished there wasn't so much trash and dangerous items discarded by your homeless neighbors, and if you wished you could walk around your city at night without housie fear towards homeless people having a moment of crisis.

You can start solving these issues, small steps at a time by volunteering your time, efforts, and spare resources towards doing outreach.

If you've always wanted to give back, while helping some of the most vulnerable people in our society, if you're tired of constantly seething with hatred anytime a homeless persons in your field of view or does a social transgression that housies expect homeless people to uphold, yet do everything in their power to dehumanize those same people, if you resonate with this shit, or at least understand the vibe here, start by doing outreach today, and help folks rediscover their humanity (not just homeless folks).

If any of this sounds even the slightest bit interesting, or you're just curious and want to learn more, feel free to hit up my inbox and we can have a nice chat.

Much love and solidarity, be well, and stay hydrated

[peachel-ayam]

my first post on this personal blog

on being ridiculously skinny — I’m not proud of it

All I want to do is gain weight

Disclaimer: This post was initially published on my Medium account under the "Bitchy" publication, and received hundred readers per week. Given that this is my personal journaling blog, I wanted to share it here as well. You can find the original post here.

(image by me)

Toxic body positivity doesn’t only apply to those who are overweight; I’ve experienced it too — an underweight individual.

People would tell me, “You should be grateful for God’s gift,” or “Being thin is a favor,” or even claim, “All women want a body like yours.”

But at the same time, I also received tons of, “Whoa, you look like you haven’t eaten in months,” or “You are thinner than paper,” or the worst of all, “If there’s a windstorm, it can be strong enough to push and float you.”

These words echoed through my mind, causing me to question my self-worth and validity.

“You MUST accept your body or you will never be happy”

I don’t want to invalidate all the words they say because I do feel concerned about my weight. I’ve noticed that I’m significantly underweight compared to others around me.

My clothes seem to hang loosely on my frame, and I feel self-conscious about my appearance. While some people may think being thin is a blessing, I can’t help but worry about my health and well-being.

I’m not proud of it. There, I said it. The truth can be hard to face, but I can’t keep denying it any longer.

Yes, I may have a naturally slender figure, but that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with body image issues. The pressure to fit into society’s narrow definition of beauty is relentless, and it affects all body types, including mine.

My self-esteem plummeted, leading me to avoid social interactions and feeling too insecure to wear certain clothes that I feared wouldn’t flatter my thin frame, making me look like a walking pencil in strange costumes.

I’ve been doing some research about being underweight, and it appears that there could be various factors contributing to my situation.

Stress and anxiety could be affecting my appetite, and I may not be consuming enough calories to maintain a healthy weight. Moreover, my busy lifestyle has led to irregular eating habits, often skipping meals or opting for quick, unhealthy snacks.

I realize that I need to make some changes to my daily routine. Eating a balanced diet and incorporating more nutritious meals will be essential in healthily gaining weight.

I was once confused about whether to see a therapist — for a possibility of anxiety — or go straight to a doctor for my weight problem. In my confusion, I turned to the internet for answers and unfortunately fell for weight-gain ads instead, purchasing a high-priced honey-like product that had no effect.

I also tried making smoothies from various online recipes, but they yielded the same disappointing results. It was a valuable lesson not to trust random ads or articles on the internet.

Then, I decided to talk to a nutritionist who suggested meal plans and specific foods to increase my caloric intake healthily. I started a little food journal on my phone to keep track of my eating habits.

This will help me identify any patterns or deficiencies in my diet. I'm not going to lie, it was challenging to break old habits and adopt a new diet, but I’m determined to give it my best effort.

Weeks and months have passed, and I’m starting to see some positive changes in my weight since I’ve been following the meal plan prescribed by the nutritionist. However, I won’t lie; it’s still a struggle.

Some days, I feel bloated and uncomfortable after eating more than I’m used to. My self-esteem is also taking a hit when I think about how much effort — and money — I have to put in to reach a healthy weight.

I remind myself that this journey is about my health and not just my physical appearance. It’s essential to stay focused on the bigger picture and continue working towards a better, healthier version of myself.

A year later, I got sick. Stomach problem. My busy schedule in the new office has interfered with my good and healthy eating habits. Forgetting to take lunch and eating unhealthy foods late in the evening became a common occurrence.

The long commute to work with an empty stomach and sleepy eyes only worsened the situation. Months of unhealthy behavior led to my hospitalization, resulting in further weight loss.

I was devastated, knowing that I had to start my healthy behavior from the beginning and endure all the struggles again. However, I realized it was necessary for the sake of my health.

As a first step, I made the difficult decision to resign from that office, prioritizing my well-being.

I started keeping a food journal again and attempted some exercises to gain weight — though I must admit, due to my 9–5 daily schedule, finding time to exercise is hard, resulting in rare opportunities to do it. To compensate, I maximize my efforts by consuming more weight-gaining foods.

I understand that this is a slow and gradual process, but I’m determined to continue. My new eating habits are becoming more natural, and I don’t feel as overwhelmed by the calorie intake as I did initially.

It’s essential to clarify that my decision to focus on gaining weight is not influenced by others’ judgments of my appearance, but rather driven by my genuine concern for my body’s health.

People often assume that because I’m thin, I must have it all — that my life is perfect and carefree.

But they don’t see the battles I fight with myself or the times I avoid social situations because I fear judgment based on my appearance.

Back to the first topic: toxic body positivity doesn’t discriminate. It affects us all, regardless of our size or shape. Society’s obsession with body ideals has created an environment where any deviation from the norm is met with criticism and scrutiny.

I want to embrace body positivity just as much as anyone else, but it’s hard when the world constantly sends mixed messages. On the one hand, I’m told to love my body and be confident, but on the other hand, I’m bombarded with comments that make me feel inadequate and ashamed.

“You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin, you have to say you want to be healthy. But also, you have to be thin — — It’s too hard, it’s too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you!”

The monologue lasts longer than that and serves as a reminder of the importance of embracing authenticity and acknowledging the complexities of our emotions and experiences.

Body positivity should be about celebrating all bodies, not just those that fit a specific mold. It’s about recognizing that every person is unique and deserving of love and respect, regardless of their appearance.

To anyone who has experienced similar comments or struggles with body image, know that you are not alone. We must challenge society’s unrealistic beauty standards and foster an environment of acceptance and understanding.

Despite still being underweight and facing the challenge of regaining it, I refuse to give up on loving my body and striving to be the best version of myself, as evidenced by finding and wearing more suitable clothes for my current weight and not shying away from social interactions, as embracing self-love means giving my body and appearance the best care.

My worth is not determined by my size, and I refuse to let toxic body positivity bring me down. I will continue to work on loving myself for who I am, and I hope others will do the same.

Let’s strive for a world where body positivity is truly inclusive and where everyone can feel valued and appreciated, regardless of how they look. It’s time to break free from the shackles of judgment.

I am more than just my body, and so are you. People who say otherwise can f themselves.

[sophieinwonderland]

Do you think it's useful at all to have community discussions regarding DID fakers or people who think they have DID but don't? I don't see how such a conversation could take place without it leading to more fakeclaiming, and more people feeling invalidated. The post I read seemed to be concerned most with people who don't have DID and aren't systems not getting proper help because the community just pushes that you probably are a system, if you think you are? It was a strange argument. I feel like plurals should allow room for people to be wrong about being a system, but what exactly is having 'discussions' about fakers and false self dx going to do except dredge up fakeclaiming or system grilling? I can understand that there intent ISN'T for those things to happen, but I also don't buy this.

Agreed.

One thing I've talked about a lot before is recent theories from psychiatrists that some instances of hallucinations may be dissociated parts of the system, and how communicating with "voices" in psychotic disorders, and treating them through psychotherapy, may be more beneficial to the system than classic methods.

I think anyone who can benefit from being part of the plural community has a place in it.

I do also think it might help to educate people and help them to use accurate terminology. (For example, someone without any sort of amnesia literally cannot have DID as it's defined in the criteria, and I don’t think stating that is fakeclaiming.)

But often, what I find is that these conversations are being led by minors who got all of their from a blog ran by a minor who got all of their information from a blog, and so on in a game of medical misinformation telephone.

So many people trying to "educate" on these disorders aren't actually educated in them. Even ones who have these disorders.

For example, "DID systems can't control when they switch" is one that I see a lot. And in some cases, that's true. But there are also many psychological studies into DID systems who do exactly that.

It's great to share your experiences and say what happens with you. But so many systems experience things differently and you can't extrapolate based on your own experiences or those of friends.

And often, when someone is given misinformation, there's a tendency for others to take it at face value. A random person says "fictive-heavy systems are actually incredibly rare" and nobody asks for a source or any type of studies exploring how many alters in DID systems are based on fictional characters or not.

I have seen this said many times and still have no idea what the validity of that statement is. I've looked for studies, but I'm not sure this has ever been researched at all.

I think people need to do better at separating fact from opinion. It's okay to say, "this isn't how this works for me." But definitive statements that apply to other systems like the fictive one above that go beyond simple anecdotes need to come with citations attached unless you state that this is your own belief or based on your own experiences.

And statements about certain things being "scientifically impossible" should probably just not be made, as they're often unverifiable.

[meili-sheep]

Hoo, talking about not liking a ship in this fandom is so risky but I'm happy to see everyone is sane to hold a calm conversation here! I have a problem with some ladies in Genshin because some just seem so bland like Ayaka and Jean, like you said before. For me Ayaka literally have no personality and (look at the risk) Beelzebub, not the puppet, the Archon. Those two just seem so... uninteresting, before the plot of the Shogun being 2 beings in 1 I was so hyped for Baal because she looked so amazing and scary the type of "don't give me any bullshit" but turned out that was the puppet and not the Archon... Kokomi was in the list too but after seeing her dealing with mental health I began to go soft for her. But also, I do understand the appeal these characters can hold and I'm happy for anyone that have them as their favorite be it for meta or for lore and characterization. And while I do like Zhongli and Childe (because, alongside Diluc, I also love Zhongli very much) I can see why some people don't like the ship, if we're going to analyze Zhongli as a character, we can all agree that Zhongli was pretty much an a-hole, and Childe being Childe would never trust in him again, they can still have little encounters where they eat together but I think this is more so Childe can keep an eye on the strongest and oldest ex-Archon-without-a-gnosis and nag him for a spar with him. BUT may I offer you: Zhongli x Diluc x Childe skjdfnkjnsd O god how I like rare ships, there's always so few people that like them and they're always so creative. ~S

Well, I do my best to ensure people know I would never invalidate their opinions. And ya know... I don't think my opinions are law. So I hope I feel like I am a good place to try and have that discussion. Especially since I also try to make it clear I'm not going to have a discussion if my opinions aren't respected.

I do have a fear that most Genshin women are built to be sold rather than built for their characters. Like Jean, Ei and Ayaka feel like really good examples of that. I'd also put Keqing in there, too. Yes I will forever be bitter about her being a 5-star over Ningquang or Beidou who not only make more sense to be 5 but are waaaay more involved in the story and have stronger personalities.

Like to be hoenst Jean, Ei, and Ayaka. They are my meta Builds. I built them to play a part. I do not care about them. Ei currently is my Xiao battery. Jean is out there to Heal my Childe, and Ayaka is a sub DPS for my Diluc. Though with Ayaka, I can work around her in relationships to my favorite asshole, Ayato. So I'm a little more partial.

And finally, for ZhongchiLuc. I'm not an OT3 person, but It's the only way I personally can see that relationship working is Zhongli and Childe bonding through a mutual love of Diluc. If you want more of my thoughts about it, I'll just kinda... Direct you to this post. Also, here are some other posts I'm making about them, which... might mean I have a thing in the works, but I'm currently editing. (Mod AUs are a pain in my ass)

Rare ships are honestly really fun in my opinion. And I'm looking forward more character to try and Ship with Diluc. UuU.

[spacetimeodysseyofjane]

From the Vault: 27 May 2020

I dont have the energy to talk to people, hence, the multiple posts. It's kinda dumb sharing stuff here instead of having a smart convo with real people. But this is me, I dont like discussing about my emotions. I'd rather talk to myself or throw out these thoughts to this senseless void called Tumblr hahaha! stupid, right?

Anyway, since my brain is a mess lately, I'm journaling again. I'm not writing for the longest time coz I'm lazy and my hands easily get tired! hahaha lazy btch :D I visited my old journal entries, and I found this! It was already 2 months of lockdown when I wrote this. I cried when I read this again, and I'm crying while typing this. I was so lost during that time that almost everyday of my life, I'm wishing to die. I didnt have any plans of hurting myself but I just dont care about living anymore.

I was so so so sad because I felt so alone. It felt like everyone doesnt care about me, even my family. They were so caught up with their own problems, they have forgotten about me. No one asked me if I was doing fine, I had to go through everything alone. They didnt know that I was about to lose my job, they didnt know that I was losing my sanity. I never asked for their help, I dont want to be a burden to them. I had to hold the fort because I needed to. I know they love me but during that time, they are all focused on more pressing matters and I understand that. I had to be strong for myself because thats how it is.

I dont have any grudges in my heart because it's also my choice not to ask for their help. I’m not trying to invalidate my feelings, but they are facing more difficulties than I am. I just dont want to add more trouble. I always tell myself that the only person that I can depend on is me. It's sad that this is the mindset that I have but it has its perks! lol. For starters, I am not causing inconveniences to them! lol! I love them to bits that why I just kept it to myself. If I can do it, then I'll do it. And I did it!

One thing that kept me going during those times is Caleb. He is the light of my life. I believed in miracles again because of him. He inspired me to be better and to appreciate the little things. I learned to be grateful. I started working on myself because when he grows up, I want to be someone he can run to if he needs help. I dont want him to experience what I went through. I want a better future and environment for him. And I vow to do that as long as I live.

[smallandterriblyafraid]

…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ ◅

&lt;:3)~

(Updated Saturday, December 3rd, 2022, 4:12 PM) - LoM

[Disclaimer: Due to formatting, some of the text may be difficult for some to read. If you find that that is the case please let me know and I'll do my best to fix it immediately! Also, most of this is copied over from my main account so I don't have to type everything twice, so if something looks familiar, it probably is! I hope this doesn't cause too much trouble!]

Hi there, I'm LoM! I use singular they/them pronouns but may grant permission to use other pronouns to people I am extremely close to. I speak English (🇺🇲/🇬🇧) and conversational French (🇫🇷), and am learning Welsh (🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿), so feel free to talk to me in any of those languages! Taken by my lovely girlfriend, so I'd prefer for people to avoid coming onto me, but I am okay with joking flirting (like "kissing the homies goodnight" or "marriage for tax benefits") as long as it's just for laughs! On principle I won't turn off anon asks ever but if you're a jerk I'll steal all of your left shoes and right socks. My main blog is @toosmallformyowngood , and my agere sideblog is @thesmallestofall, so feel free to check those out too! That's all I can think of for now but I'll probably update some things later!

My current hyperfixations are:

- Resident Evil: Village (and a bit of RE 7)

- CoD Modern Warfare 2 (specifically annoying the gamerbros lmao)

- Overwatch (Yes I live in shame over this)

- Anything SCP related

- Also anything Lobotomy Corp related

- Pokémon (Train guys are so skrunkly)

- Fallout [NV & 4]

- Anything TTRPG (D&D, WH2k, etc)

- Uhhh probably something else I'm forgetting

- Also I might talk about my OCs from time to time (I'm sorry)

Please note that I do not take requests at the moment. Suggestions by mutuals or other close friends maybe, but even then anything I write would be in headcanon format. I'm not that confident in my writing skills, nor am I confident in my ability to maintain a semi-coherent schedule, so for the time being I'm just shitposting for the sake of having fun. If you want to talk to me though, I'm all for it! I love sharing ideas back and forth (and just human interaction in general).

Anyway! Here's the specially coded comma that can go in the tags: ‚

And now on to other things;

DNI list below the cut! (In no particular order)

🚫 DNI if you: 🚫

Are rac.ist, homo.phobic, trans.phobic, bi.phobic, pan.phobic, able.ist, aro/ace exclusionary, or any other form of xeno.phobic

Think that poly.am people aren't part of the lgbtqia+ community (They are, die mad about it.)

Are a N.S.F.T blog (Jokes, art, artistic photography, writing, and fandom stuff are fine tho. It's just the irl stuff and only.fans links I'm shying away from)

Are a t.erf/rad.fem/etc (Tradwife stuff is fine so long as you aren't pushing it on anyone else. Everyone has a different vision for what they want their personal future to look like and yours is valid too, so long as you're not on "a woman's place" and all that bullshit.)

Are a practicing M.AP (People with intrusive thoughts can stay, though. It's not your fault that your brain is giving you icky thoughts when all you want is for it to shut up; my only qualm is with people who either see no wrong in the action, or do and go through with it any way.)

Support J.K. Row.ling and or her works. Please read literally any other book. It's not even that good.

Are anti-endo (I won't tolerate invalidating other's identities and lived experience, sorry)

Are anti age.re/pet.re, etc

Vilify mental illness

Don't support neopronouns (Including emoji pronouns.)

Are anti it/it's pronouns

Are a T.rump supporter, anti.masker, c.ovid denier, etc. Your conspiracy theories are not welcome here

Are an Oni.sion stan (Kind of pedantic I know but the dude sucks to the nth degree, so-)

Crosstag posts with both strictly N.S.F.T and sfw tags (Mistakes are fine as long as it's just a genuine slip up and you do your best to correct it. We're all human and sometimes accidents happen, but doing it on purpose or leaving it up after being told the issues is a no go.)

Are anti.-choice/pro.-life

Are anti free healthcare, food, water, etc

Think autism and related quirks need a "cure" (I'm all for personal choice if the "cure" was a pill or shot but currently the "cure" is eug.enics which I am not about)

Think DNI lists are bad or a waste of time

That's all I can think of for now. However, with that said…

✅ Do interact if you: ✅

Are a roleplay/gimmick/character blog, or anything like that! I love talking to you guys! You're cool! Also seeing how this is my fandom sideblog, it matches the theme

Have OCs. Tell me about them! I love hearing about people's characters!

See a fandom on here you like? Please talk to me I crave interaction so badly-

That's all for now! See you later! &lt;3

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

do you have any unpopular opinions/controversial opinins/hills you will die on about twdg?

Of course. I think everyone has at least one hill they’ll die on or an unpopular opinion they’ll never change their mind on. I’ve actually answered this type of ask twice before. Once in 2019, and once in 2020. Some of my opinions have changed since then.

Okay look…. I’ve stepped away from this blog and the fandom for a while. I needed a break. I wanted to get back into my personal writing/art, I’ve gotten into Dragon Age and exploring its fandom, I’m reading through Tillie Walden’s other works in preparation for the Clementine comic and the review I’ll do of that. This time away has been good for me- I’ve done a lot of soul searching, looking deep inside myself as I reminisced about how the fandom has progressed over the years, all the good times and the bullshit, anons getting pissy with me, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t give a shit anymore.

So before I tell y’all about my unpopular opinions and show you all the hills I’ll die on, here’s a disclaimer that should be obvious and yet in this fandom it needs to be explicitly said: These are MY opinions and how I view twdg and it’s fandom. I’m going to say things like “I hate this/this choice is awful.” There’s a certain ship that I’m going to call bad. I’m going to criticize certain parts of the fandom and their behaviors I disagree with.

Understand that Bad/Worst DOES NOT EQUAL Invalid.

Whether you and I like it or not, ALL of the choices presented in twdg that don’t end in an YOU ARE DEAD screen are valid and canon. I don’t give a shit if you hate, let’s say… the ending where you don’t trust AJ and Louis or Violet die saving Tenn, for example. I don’t care if you think that ending is garbage, or it doesn’t count because it’s a determinate choice, or if you don’t understand why someone loves it. It’s still a valid and canon choice players can make.

You’re allowed to hate choices, characters, and ships or think one is better than the other, but that doesn’t make it the more or less valid choice. If you disagree with my takes, that’s fine. I respect that, and my feelings about the choices are not a reflection of my feelings toward you. You are allowed to do that just as I am allowed to disagree or agree with you.

And really, the only people I'm side-eyeing are the people who don't respect this.

You’d think that after all this time we would learn the concept of “agree to disagree,” instead of taking the Kenny route of “Agree with me or fuck you.” but here we are.

We have different experiences with these games, and no amount of shitty anons or petty vague posts are going to change that. If you think I'm a piece of shit for anything said here, good for you. Have fun with that.

I’ll start off with the more mild things and get spicier as we go. Cool? Cool. Buckle up, it's a long post.

Wellington is the best ending in S2. There’s no changing my mind about that, one of my hills is the Wellington ending.

I’ll fully admit that some of my meta knowledge plays into this. As someone who has played these games over and over again, I know Wellington exists even if the characters don’t. I know there are things that don’t add up about it, but despite those things, for me it’s the best chance Clementine and AJ have after all the bullshit they went through.

It’s the most satisfying ending, story wise. I don’t like Kenny, lemme just throw that out there. I view him as one of S2's antagonists, just to a different degree than Carver. By the end of s2 I just want him the fuck away from Clementine and AJ, but I won’t deny that it’s emotional watching him finally let them go because he knows this is their best chance, even if it leaves him alone again in the end. He's so possessive of them to the point where it endangers them so to see him immediately give them up? for their safety? It's like he finally gets it.

Staying at Wellington and watching Kenny go gives you an uneasy feeling knowing that by doing this, Kenny could fall onto one of two paths- self reflection and healing where he sees who he's become and actively tries to change his behaviors moving forward, or utter destruction that pulls him into a tragic grave. His fate is unknown. It’s so good.

I’m aware Wellington falls eventually and I’ll always be salty that ANF doesn’t give as much attention to it as the others even though it’s the best. Before it falls, Clementine and AJ get to feel safe in a community, have their own room together, be around other people and socialize. They’re away from Kenny which makes me feel better, they’re behind high walls, and they get some sort of normalcy back before everything goes to shit. It makes it feel like something was achieved. We lost everyone along the way, but Clementine isn’t completely alone anymore. She has AJ, and she has a new community that will feed them, keep them warm, protect them.

My only big gripe with the Wellington ending is that I have to let Kenny kill Jane in order to get it. Being completely honest, even though the part with Kenny in this ending is good.... if I could go to Wellington with Jane, I would. Which… uhhh….

I like Jane. She’s a good character.

I know, how dare I? Don’t I know “Kenny good, Jane bad”??? Liking Jane goes against at least three of the Boat God’s 10 Commandments! I’m practically a sinner for liking this fictional video game character who is not real. Pray I repent lest my soul gets swallowed by the unruly locks of Kenny's beard.

Cheeky absurdities about the extreme Kenny stans aside, I do genuinely like Jane. She’s not a favorite character or anything, she's definitely not making it into a top 10 list or anything, but I will jump to her defense when the mood strikes me. She gets a lot of criticism, and I totally get it. I have my own issues with her.

Where it starts to lose me is claims that Jane is the worst for being a manipulative asshole who hates children, for gaslighting Clementine into thinking the way she does and turning her against Kenny, for attempting to murder little baby AJ, and Kenny is the better option because he cares about Clementine more so we should all happily put our guns away and let him stab her. All those things are one way to interpret events. All of which I disagree with to a degree, if not entirely.

Honestly, I could do a whole deep dive into Jane’s character but for the sake of not making this a million words long, we’ll keep it contained and I'll go into detail about claims that Jane doesn't care about Clementine, yeah?

If Jane didn't care about Clementine, she wouldn't have helped her and Rebecca get out of the walker herd, she would've ditched the second she was free. She wouldn't have taught Clementine any survival tricks or engaged with her about personal stories about herself and her sister, something that's still a sore spot.

A big issue with Jane is the Sarah stuff, and believe me, I agree that leaving Sarah behind the first time is the wrong move, but I recognize that's a response she's having after having flashbacks to what happened with Jamie.

But y'know, when Sarah's second death comes along, Jane will try to save her if Clementine asks her to. Jane will put her safety aside to help Sarah and it's not her fault that she couldn't be saved. It's not her fault that she was staggered after getting hit with a piece of wood and couldn't get Sarah out before the walkers got to her. And she is genuine in her apology to Clementine for Sarah's death.

Jane leaves, but she comes back for Clementine, and ends up saving them by killing one of the dudes attacking them.

Oh and you wanna talk about Luke's death scene? if Clementine goes after Luke and falls through the ice?? Who is the one to pull Clementine out of the water and carry her in a panic to land and only cared about starting a fire so that she didn't fucking freeze to death?? Jane. Like... if Kenny cares about Clementine sooo much more than Jane ever did, then why the hell was he so hyper focused on beating the shit outta Arvo than on the fact that Clementine could drown or freeze to death? Kenny always puts Clementine first? No, Kenny always puts his feelings first.

Jane actually listens to Clementine and puts in an effort to see things through her perspective, even if she doesn't agree with it. She tries to tell Clementine that if all else fails, she can survive on her own. Jane makes it clear that she's not very comfortable with babies, but will still hold AJ when Clementine offers and tries to her best to bond with him.

And yes, the final fight is stupid. That's a huge mistake on Jane's part. She left AJ in a car to prove a point that if something ever happened to AJ and if Kenny saw it as Clementine's fault, this is what would happen and she felt this was the only way to make that clear...... it's not a great plan and she fucking knows it if you shoot Kenny.

I'm not claiming that Jane is the best character in s2 or that she doesn't deserve criticism, but I don't think she's nearly as bad as some insist she is. I could write more but hhhnnngggg long post is long, and we still have a lot of hills to climb.

BUT I WILL SAY THAT ANF DID A COMPLETE CHARACTER ASSASSINATION OF JANE'S CHARACTER AND THAT RIGHT THERE IS A HILL I WILL DIE ON. THEY DID HER DIRTY.

....Anyway. Speaking of ANF- Kate should’ve died in place of Mariana in ANF. I don’t hate Kate or anything, don’t love her either, but I will die on the hill that if ANF had killed Kate off and completely removed the terrible love triangle aspect of the story and instead focused on Javi, David, and the kids, it would’ve been soooo much better.

A story where Javi and Kate canonically end up together romantically. They’ve raised Gabe and Mari this entire time, they raised those kids and had each other through it all. But then Kate dies, and not only did Javi lose the woman he loves, he lost his partner to helped him with these kids. Everything rests on his shoulders now, he is completely responsible for them… and not only that, but Gabe and Mariana lost their step-mom. Everything hurts, we still could’ve had the burial scene in you stayed with Clementine to finish things or to go with your family because Mari got shot instead, or Gabe got shot.

So these kids are all Javi has left, and one of them is shot and could possibly die. He’s desperate to save them by any means necessary, even if it means appealing to those who are responsible for the wound and for Kate’s death…. Only for David to show up. It all worked out in the end, right?

Well, Richmond doesn’t like Javi and he has to leave, and the kids can’t come with him. David IS their father, they’re HIS children… but Javi raised them from the beginning of the apocalypse and taking them away from him feels fucking cruel.

THAT is sooo much more compelling of a family drama than just “aw shit man I kissed my brother’s wife because I thought he was dead but he’s not dead oh no better not tell him I’m in love with his wife until she tells him at the worst possible moment”

Again, don’t hate Kate, but letting her shine in one episode is better than her downward spiral over the course of the season.

Alright, ready to get extra spicey? Because the hills are burning from this point on and we're outta marshmallows.

Louis getting all the blame for voting Clementine and AJ out when he wasn’t even present as Mitch suggested they take the vote and everyone else went along with it only happens because certain Violet stans view him as a “threat” to their ship so they want to find any excuse to make Louis an asshole, including ignoring his trauma and everything else canon with his character, to fit their narrative. ..... Yep. Uh-oh.

To me, if this WASN’T the case, these people would give Ruby, Omar, Willy, and Mitch waaaaay more shit, but Louis is singled out because he's the other love interest.

Louis is not the sole reason Clementine and AJ were kicked out and acting like it’s all his fault that AJ was shot is blatantly ignoring the fact that Ruby, Omar, Willy, and Mitch also voted them out. Mitch gets heat for it sometimes, but the whole “Louis’ vote could’ve made difference! It could've made it a draw so the group would have to discuss further!! It’s ALL his fault, he’s such a shithead, he doesn't get to feel bad for what happened because he voted them out! Clementine would never love him when he put her and AJ at risk by voting them out like that!” argument is weak.

Ruby’s vote could’ve ensured that they stayed.

I guess that makes Ruby a shithead for kicking them out, too.

If she had voted for them to stay, they would’ve been tied and had to discuss it more. She was also upset about Marlon’s death, and was mad at AJ. Surely Ruby knew if they were voted out that AJ would get shot. How could she put Clementine’s sad murder baby in danger like that?? Being mad at AJ AND voting them out is enough to ensure no positive relationship can grow from that point forward. Because Ruby voting them out is always gonna be there, y’know? Ruby might as well have shot AJ herself when she voted them out. AJ is just a big ol’ baby boy who shouldn’t be held accountable because he’s a baby child! He doesn’t know any better! No one taught him anything!

It’s going to be a constant thing on Clementine’s mind at all times every time she talks to Ruby and she will never forgive her for that one vote she made when she was grieving because her grief doesn’t matter when it doesn’t benefit me. Ruby’s reasons for voting them out do not matter because the only feelings that are valid in this situation are Clementine’s and everyone else who voted for her to stay. Y’know, if only there was a way for Ruby to get shot in the arm as karma for her vote. That would show her for having feelings that I don’t like, make her regret ever crossing Clementine! And if she ever apologizes for voting Clementine out [which she never really does] I’ll tell her to fuck off because that is what she deserves. Let the raiders take her, I say! It's what she deserves for voting them out!

...Have you had enough or should I keep going? Because if I keep going, the Ruby crowd might get mad and start poking me with pitchforks and I don’t need them upset with me while I already have the Violet crowd shooting arrows at my hill.

Now someone who is of the opinion that Louis is the worst and clouis would never work because he voted them out might look at that and politely point out, “Well CJ, Louis and Ruby are different. Ruby forgave Clementine and AJ the day after the vote when they came back to the school. Louis didn’t forgive her until two weeks later.”

And to that I say you’re right. Louis and Ruby are different.

Ruby, to our knowledge, never actually apologizes for her vote. Louis does.

Ruby’s forgiveness happens sooner if you help her bury Ms. Martin as she’ll tell you that she’ll tell the others she’s changed her mind about you. Louis’ forgiveness doesn’t happen so soon or as easily.

Louis had a stronger connection to Marlon. Ruby didn’t.

Now my point with all of this is Ruby doesn’t get as much shit for voting them out, even though her vote could’ve possibly prevented AJ from getting shot just as much as Louis’ vote. She was in the same position as Louis and gets no shit. It’s easy to change her mind about you once you come back, and she’s not a love interest for Clementine, therefore she isn’t viewed as an interference, if you will.

A big point of argument against Louis is him putting AJ in danger with his vote, and as a love interest, that makes him a bad one whereas Violet voted for them to stay, hence not putting them in danger. Violet in her full romantic route never puts AJ in danger, but in his full romantic route, Louis does.

Except I would argue that Violet does put AJ in danger at least once in her romance route: in ep3 while they’re on the boat. The moment Violet chose to stay with Minerva she not only put AJ in danger, but the rest of the group as well. She could’ve easily left Minerva there and gone with Clementine to get AJ. She could’ve helped Aasim carry Omar [who was still shot] and Louis [who had his tongue cut out], but she didn’t. Despite the emotions she is feeling, she should be aware that if she lets Clementine go alone, something could happen, the danger on this boat is immediate. The raiders won't hesitate to kill Clementine if they have to, they won't hesitate to hurt AJ. Violet knows this.

“But CJ, that’s not fair, that’s not comparable. Violet stayed with Minerva because of her past trauma! She couldn’t leave her to die on the boat, she has abandonment issues! It’s not okay to blame her for that when it’s not something she can help!”

That's fair. I understand that Violet has her reasons for staying with Minerva, and while I may not like that she chooses Minerva after stopping her from murdering Clementine, I won’t invalidate reasons that I as someone watching from the outside may not understand.

But may I ask why is Violet putting anyone, not even just AJ, in danger as a result of those things seen as understandable, sympathetic, better… but Louis doing the same thing isn’t?

Louis found out who Marlon really was after years of blind faith. Marlon admitted to murdering Brody and pinning it on Clementine. If you appealed to him, then Marlon pointed a gun right at Louis and had to full power to kill him right there and yet, he didn’t back down. If you appealed to Violet, Louis saw Marlon with the power to kill his friend. Marlon admitted that he gave away the twins, admitted that he would do it again if he had to. All in a short period of time.

Then Louis watched Marlon get murdered…… and you assume that wasn’t traumatic for him? You assume that he’s turning against AJ and Clementine because he’s just a shit head and not because what he saw not only hurt and horrified him, but is something that he will carry with him for the rest of his life? He’s not having a response to trauma, he’s purposely just trying to screw you over?

Just get over it, Louis. Marlon was a murderer, and AJ apparently doesn't know any better. This pain your feeling? Stop it. You don't get to vote us out and feel bad.... right?

No. Ignoring all of that just to make an argument that he sucks and isn’t a good love interest for Clementine doesn’t sit well with me. Choosing to get him shot in the woods by Abel as an act of karma for his vote, being offended that he doesn’t grieve on your time schedule, getting annoyed that he has conflicting feelings about Marlon because to you it’s cut and dry that Marlon was bad and Louis should just get over it, telling him to fuck off after he makes an effort to repair your relationship, romantic or otherwise...

And y’know, whenever I see someone condemn Louis for taking two weeks to grieve before going to Clementine and forgiving AJ but praise Violet for taking the same amount of time after AJ shoots Tenn to grieve but isn’t ready to forgive him, it screams double standards, hypocrisy. Violet is allowed to lash out at AJ when she’s hurt, allowed to snap at him for killing Tenn and take as long as she needs to grieve, she’s allowed to not forgive AJ right away for hurting her, but Louis isn't because you don't like him and don't want to respect/acknowledge his issues.

I know we always get upset and insist on not comparing trauma because each character is different and they handle things differently, and it’s not okay to invalidate that….. But it’s also not okay to ignore those things just because they don’t benefit your favored ship. It says a lot.

I could go on and on, I’ve written several posts about Louis in ep2. at this point if you still don’t like Louis or clouis, that’s fine. Agree to disagree.

And just to be crystal clear, this isn't a dig at Violet. Her issues and pain are understandable and I respect that she handles things differently. Just because I don't prefer her route that doesn't mean she's invalid.

Now if I didn't have any unburnt bridges left, let's rip the bandaid off: clemerva is a bad ship. I fucking hate clemerva.

I don't care if it's in an au or taking place in canon, in my opinion it's a terrible ship that's built on a canon where they try to kill each other. Clemerva is about aesthetic because most Minerva stans care more about her looks and sexuality than they do her actual character or the bullshit she went through.

Now this bothers me so much and the reasons I will die on the hill that clemerva is bad deals with a lot of little personal things.

Firstly, I have a history of not liking Minerva. Go back to posts from a year ago and you'll find me saying things about how I can't stand her, I don't like her, I don't get why people love her........ and things have changed.

I fucking love Minerva. She is such a fucking tragedy, her role in the story and how it's executed makes more sense now, and she's fascinating. What changed my mind was throwing away everything people have said about her and playing the game by myself and looking at her character, making my own interpretations, drawing conclusions.... and it clicked. It makes sense, Minerva is great!

And this change of heart only made me hate clemerva more because it does such a disservice to her character all for the sake of making her kiss Clementine, someone she fucking hates. Like... that's it. Throw her at Clementine, who cares if Minerva would NEVER want her.

If you want a more in depth look, I have this post I made about Minerva's character, and the only thing that I would change is that I don't dislike her anymore. I am a Minerva fan now.

it just gets under my skin that a wlw ship with two queer girls who physically harm one another on several occasions- the spitting thing really gets me because spitting at someone is so demeaning and gross and ugh .... y'know, that's why Lilly's character is ruined the moment she spits at and calls James "it"- they have no friendly chemistry and Minerva is too far gone at that point... that's the wlw ship people insist is good and that I'm wrong for not liking it and like...... you can't just argue that away.

You can't convince me that Clem and Minerva could eventually have a healthy relationship in canon if Minerva made it back to the school without erasing her trauma or the murder attempts.

And when it comes to AU's where Minerva wasn't taken by raiders or whatever... I can understand someone who likes Minerva wanting her to be happy and so they make an au where she didn't get traded to the raiders. That's fine, I don't have a problem with that. I want her to be happy, too, even though I know it'll never happen. My problem is the fact that shipping her with Clementine is viewed as more important than anything else.

if anything, some fans are kinda like Violet where they have this ideal, romanticized picture of her in their heads but the difference is Violet sees who she's become and eventually accepts that, she doesn't try to erase it. but when certain Minerva stans see her in canon..... no, don't like that, she doesn't fit the mold I made of her when her character was first teased and I am going to blame the writers for giving her ugly bits that I don't like, they are wrong for not giving my redemption arc, I want to see the tall, pretty, happy, queer girl I made up in my head kiss Clementine or Violet and you're wrong for not giving me that. I will use her trauma against anyone who criticizes her but I won't actually take it into account myself because that part of her isn't important until I say it is.

I can't with clemerva, it usually erases Minerva's character and replaces her with an OC wearing her face and it's just not for me.

You can vague post shit about me or send me anons like "wow imagine hating clemerva lol couldn't be me'" or "if you don't ship clemerva you are a coward lmao" or "clemerva haters are sexist/lesbophic/biphobic" all you want, it's not gonna make me change my mind about a ship between two queer girls who canonically try to kill each other on several occasions, where one spits blood in the other's face, and the other shoots her. Sorry that I don't think all Minerva needs is a new girlfriend instead of a therapist to overcome a years worth of trauma and brainwashing.

Look, I hate the ship but remember what I said in the beginning? Just because I hate it, that doesn't mean I hate people who like it. You have your reasons and I respect that, and I ask that you respect my reasons for not liking it. My only annoyances are with those fans who try to change my mind because I'm "wrong" or shame me for it by completely ignoring my issues in the first place.

Ugh..... anyway, there they are.

There's all my dumb unpopular opinions and hills I'll die on. Wasn't that fun? I'm gonna go make myself some tea because my salt train doesn't end here- I have asks about the Clem comic to answer next sksksks

[katrinegrey]

I've had the chance to read through TWOTQ in its entirety and review things a couple times and wanted to do an awkward sort of list of my thoughts on the book. My thoughts are convoluted and full of spoilers, so if neither of those are things you want, please look away now.

I also have a tendency to word vomit, ramble, and make zero sense. You're welcome.

This was all typed on mobile so there could be some serious spelling and formatting errors. You've been warned.

I may also come back in another day and think of something to add, so...may or may not change a bit by tomorrow.

Last warning: there are spoilers below!

My rating : ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - 4 stars

I understand the polarizing feelings and very visceral opinions about this book. I hear you. This book was far from perfect, but I actually quite enjoyed it. It's probably my third favorite behind ASITE (forever my #1) and FBAA (the OG). I truly didn't much care for AKOFAF or ACOGB and was seriously considering dropping the series until it was fully released. Then I read ASITE and those plans shattered.

That said, I didn't have super high expectations going in. I had hopes and dreams and theories, but they weren't crushed or anything since most were either resolved in some way, even if it wasn't what I thought or would have preferred, or didn't involve characters we saw yet.

I will be going through the things I liked first and then the things I didn't so much enjoy.

Things I Liked :

the sass and banter. There was so much from everyone, and while it may have occasionally felt like a bit much, I still really enjoyed it.

Reaver and Millicent. Reaver is a godsdamn treasure, Millicent is precious, and I cannot wait to see more of both of them in the future. The strange, oddball babies.

Certain scenes or lines affected me far harder than I would have expected. After they pull Malec's casket out and are transporting it back and Reaver is sitting beside it with his hand on the lid and his eyes closed killed me. I teared up.

The constant mentions of Nyktos and the Consort. This is more of a specific like, but hearing about my favs made me happy.

I understand why some people are still mad about world building this late in the game, but I really enjoy heavy lore. For the most part, it ties in well. I think it can feel like a bit much because we're learning everything right along with Poppy, but it all seems to serve a greater purpose and I love it.

Poppy and Valyn's conversations. I loved them.

And this is where I'm going to really piss people off. I really liked the dynamic between Poppy x Cas x Kieran throughout the entire book. In MY (only my) opinion, I really liked it and thought it well done. I was worried before reading it from reading everyone's posts about it, but I was relieved while reading it. I understand people have really strong opinions about it. I respect your opinions and would never try to invalidate them. But please take those somewhere other than my replys (there are plenty of angry posts) and don't be mean here.

Things I'm not sure if I like or dislike :

Just the dual POV. Normally I don't mind it, but something about Casteel's POV just wasn't working here. It felt really off. But it didn't prevent me from enjoying the book but I wasn't sure I really enjoyed it. I found myself missing Poppy's POV hard.

Things I disliked :

the pronunciation guide. What the hell is even that?

Poppy's powers. I'm really not a fan of where this is going. Poppy is starting to feel really Mary Sue like in the same way that Aelin and Feyre could feel that way. Maybe even more. And it scares me for a multitude of reasons (we'll get to that later)

I like Malik's storyline and I love his potential going forward, but was I the only one that was put off by his character for unknown reasons? Like, he didn't do anything, and I don't actively dislike him. I really WANT to like him, but I find myself unable to fully commit because there's just something...off. Not off in a way like I think he's evil but just off.

What do I think could be next?

These are all just predictions and my opinions. Disagree as you like.

I think Poppy might grow too powerful for a reason. I don't see Jennifer pulling an Allegiant on Poppy and killing her off but I also don't see her being willing to take over ruling in Iliseeum and/or Atlantia and/or Solis. It's too much. Girl might be stripped of or give up her powers at some point on books 5 or 6. Or if she does indeed end up dead, she'll be brought back.

Which brings me to this point. What if she doesn't? I think in that case, we may as well say goodbye to Sera and Nyktos. I think they'll have to die for Poppy to stay as she is. I put them as both dying because I cannot abide by the thought of one dying and one being left alive. Nope. They go together.

Things (mostly people) I want to see more of :

Sera and Nyktos. Duh.

I'm so intensely interested in Nektas joining Poppy and Co. in their search for Ires and Jadis. Like, yes please!

I really want to see some of Malec and / or Ires reuniting with Daddy Nyktos and Mommy Sera. My obsession knows no bounds and reuniting scenes are my guilty pleasure!

I was a little disappointed that there wasn't more of the side characters we love like Vonetta, Emil, Naill and Delano. Though I did love seeing more of Perry. So, more please?

My ultimate (naïve) wish is for happy endings all around. Except for Kolis and Callum. Fuck them.

I need a scene with Poppy learning from or training with other gods and Primals now that they're awake.