#...it could have gone better

[underwhelmingalchemist]

In honor of the Gävlebocken being declared dead by wikipedia

[kedreeva]

You can hear this bread. One second I'll show you. Please listen to my bread

This is a loaf of asiago chunk sourdough. Inside there are chunks of asiago. The dough was mixed with mashed garlic as well. The sound in the video is the cheese bubbling in the interior, echoing in the air pockets of the loaf. I'm going to eat the shit out of this for breakfast tomorrow.

This is the world's easiest sourdough loaf too, with only 6 hours total rising/proofing time!

Ingredients:

455g white bread flour

1 tsp sea salt

285g warm water

100g active, bubbly starter

120g Asiago cheese

(optional) crushed garlic to taste (I use about 2 cloves worth and it's a lot)

Asiago chunk sourdough bread

Cut asiago into smallish chunks

Combine flour and salt in one bowl

Combine starter and water in another bowl, stir until starter is dissolved.

Mix flour into the wet mixture until a dough begins to form. Knead on a well-floured surface until dough is smooth.

Mix in cheese (and garlic) until well incorporated

Dust rising bowl (solid! Not a basket!) with flour. Let dough rise 1 hour in warm spot, covered with plastic wrap

Fold over around the edges, place back in bowl seal-side down for 1 more hour

Repeat folding over around the edges, place back in bowl seal-side down for 1 more hour (3 total rising hours to here)

Shape dough into round if not, and place into proofing basket for 3 hours. Toward the end of this, preheat oven to 450F, with the cast iron pot so it's HOT when you add the dough.

Dump your dough onto your kneading board, fold over around the edges one more time, slice the top DEEPLY.

Bake 30 minutes seam-side down in covered cast iron pot at 450F. Remove lid, bake for another 30-40 minutes with lid off. (Cook time may vary on location and oven... MY OVEN takes this long. I just baked a loaf at a friend's that baked WAY differently, it was done in about 40 minutes total)

Remove and let cool completely before slicing. You can freeze it but slice it first.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Unsolved Mysteries.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[lygma-nygma]

Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.

[ninjasmudge]

i love those goat statues where they have their ribcage out, tear that chest open queen <3

unpainted below bc i like that one too 👇

[hydrachea]

"Don't worry. I'll fulfill my promise and find a way to cure you. Actually, I've found some leads."

[gunstellations]

In the world I love

_

In a different world

[romatito]

belbel and her brothers !! 🕺🕺💃

[sunderwight]

Bingyuan modern ABO AU where Shen Yuan tutors sweet white lotus Luo Binghe and dutifully sends him off to university all prepped and ready to take the world by storm, and then three years later Omega Binghe shows up on his doorstep with a baby, all washed out with his prospects ruined and the father in the wind.

Beta Shen Yuan, furious, is determined to look after Luo Binghe and his adorable baby whilst tracking down the feckless Alpha involved and then... castrating him? Forcing him to step up? One of the two at least!

Only it turns out:

-Baby isn't actually Luo Binghe's

-Luo Binghe isn't an Omega

-Binghe also didn't wash out and in fact just came into a massive inheritance

He didn't even know Shen Yuan was living at the apartment he went to, he was bringing the baby to Shen Jiu in order to blackmail him. The baby is SJ's and Omega Yue Qingyuan's, and had been quietly sent away to avoid scandal. As the next phase of Luo Binghe's hundred-step plan to marrying Shen Laoshi, cuddling the baby in a vaguely sinister fashion while making thinly-veiled threats was vital to blocking Shen Jiu's inevitable attempts to interfere with Binghe's pursuit of his younger brother.

But then Shen Yuan opened the door and promptly drew all the wrong conclusions, and now Binghe is rethinking his entire strategy, furiously googling Alpha-to-Omega transition options and making Mobei Jun make Shang Qinghua find out how to fake a birth certificate for a stolen baby.

[kingsmoot]

the au where tywin actually does arrange marry cersei and theon is actual best case scenario of all time for that boy. he gets sexually bullied by a woman twice his age with an obvious drinking problem. and she looks just like jaime lannister.

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Hanahaki comic Part 2

Part 1 Part 3

Sometimes the one thing scarier than than being rejected is being loved back

Stay tuned for part 3

[mesopelagos]

bend gravity and space you are a child of the stars

[bloomfish]

I think one of the worst moments in buffy history is them framing xander's speech about riley in into the woods as like... correct in any way. it makes you really dislike Xander (even more). Buffy's boyfriend literally cheats on her with vampire prostitutes lol and then tells her that if she doesn't forgive him on the spot he's leaving forever. and then we're supposed to buy that Xander is correct in saying that it's all Buffy's fault and that she should run after Riley to beg him to stay?

It's sooo infuriating how Riley is framed as 'the one who got away' when really he's 'the one who was so cripplingly insecure that he couldn't handle his girlfriend being stronger than him and having her own problems because he's made his entire identity about his girlfriend instead of getting the fuck over himself'

the real reason why xander doesn't want buffy to dump riley's ass as she should is so clearly because he projects onto riley. subconsciously he thinks that if someone 'normal' like riley can be with buffy then he also has a shot. newsflash it wasn't riley being 'normal' it was riley being an insecure condescending freak just like u

[jakkenpoy]

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Lute sees Vaggie's wings have grown back and tries take them again. She grabs them to pull them off, but her hands burn right through her gloves. Sp, Lute tries to cut them off with her sword, but the blade shatters the second it hits the feathers. That's the power of love, bitch!

this could be either so dramatic or so fucking funny so i'd love to imagine it being Both

(fuck this turned out looooooong XD)

Emily: "Good news!”

Charlie: "YAY!"

Vaggie: "How good can it be, if we had to come all the way to stupid heaven to hear it?

Charlie: "Vaggie, c'mon- We could REALLY use some good news!"

Emily: "Then you'll love this. I looked into it and, Vaggie, you being abandoned in hell was wrong, not to mention Adam never cleared it with anyone else anyway- so you can come back here to heaven! Isn't that great!"

Charlie: "Oh... thanks Emily, that's..."

Vaggie: "Not happening."

Charlie: "Maybe she could have some time to think about-"

Lute: "No.”

Vaggie: "No."

Lute: “An angel's place is in heaven. Hell is a prison for sinners, demons, and the fallen who reject the very order of creation. If you choose to stay down there, then what does that make you?"

Vaggie: "It's making me fucking happy, for one thing."

Charlie: (whispers) "... a happy day in hell?"

Vaggie: (whispering back) "Every single one."

Charlie: (BEAMS)

Lute: "Then you've made your choice. You're not an angel. You’re not one of us. You're a traitor."

Vaggie: "And it's been better company than I had up here."

Lute: "Think so?” (grins) “Sera, respectfully, hell is rebelling-"

Charlie: "We were PROTECTING ourselves!"

Lute: "-they killed Adam and one of their people is up here acting like he doesn’t still sympathize with murderers and filthy sinners. We can’t risk anyone else getting past heaven’s gates.”

Vaggie: “Like I’d ever want to!”

Lute: “So you wouldn’t lead the charge if your demon bitch said the word and pointed at us?”

Emily: “Lute!”

Charlie: “Vaggie wouldn’t-”

Vaggie: “Charlie never would! That’s what makes her different from assholes like YOU.”

Lute: “You think everyone’s as weak as you are, don’t you? She’s a hellborn princess. She just called violently resisting a sanctioned extermination ‘self defense.’”

Charlie: “YOU WERE KILLING PEOPLE!”

Lute: “Sinners are not people. They had their chance and burned it. And they’re not the only ones.”

Emily: “But they can be redeemed! We’ve seen it happen!”

Lute: “Once.”

Emily: “It doesn’t matter that it was only ‘once’- it matters that it happened and we still don’t understand why. We have a duty to the people of heaven, but if sinners can find their way here then that duty includes them too! And the exterminations were just wrong from the start!”

Lute: “Careful Emily, you’re starting to sound like a traitor too.”

Emily: “If the other choice is sounding like YOU, then-”

Sera: “Enough! Both of you! Emily is not the one on trial here, Lute.”

Lute: “Then listen to the ones that ARE! Sera, listen to them, listen to HER- she’s made her choice. She’s fallen even more than Lucifer Morningstar did-”

Charlie: “Don’t you DARE bring my dad into this!”

Lute: “-and there should be a PRICE for that. We need to take precautions.”

Emily: “Precautions? What does that even mean? She’s locked in hell with everyone else, like Lucifer is, what more can you even do to her?”

Lute: “Same thing I did before. Only this time.” (draws sword) “I know how to make it stick.”

Charlie: “What?”

Vaggie: “….you… bitch.”

Lute: "Traitor's don't need an angel's wings, do they? Traitors don't deserve them."

Charlie: "Well she has them again now anyway so CLEARLY having angel wings doesn’t mean what you think it does!”

Lute: “It means I didn’t use heavenly steel the first time.”

Emily: “You-”

Charlie: “Don’t. Come any closer.”

Emily: “Lute stop! Sera stop her! This isn’t helping anyone!”                        

Sera: “I have only one question.”

Lute: “Ask and get it over with, we all know what the answer is already.”

Sera: “Hush.”

Sera: “Vaggie. Do you reject our offer of a pardon, and the orders of and service to heaven, in favor of remaining hell?”

Vaggie: “…I do.”

Sera: "Understanding that no other angel has ever done so before?”

Vaggie: “They would’ve, if they’d met Charlie.”

Sera: “Then you are guilty of treason.”

Vaggie: “…”

Sera: “Lute. Make it quick.”

Lute: (grinning) “As the seraphim commands.”

Emily: “Wait-”

Charlie: “BACK. OFF.”

Sera: “You are not in hell, miss Morningstar, this is not your domain and you have no power to draw on here. I will honor our former treaty not to spill hell’s royal blood but do NOT test my patience with it. Emily, restrain her.”

Charlie: “NO-”

Emily: “Sera you can’t! This is-!”

Sera: “Fine. Exorcists, hold the hell princess. And Emily, if you cannot obey a command or bear witness to my rulings then leave before I remove you myself.”

Emily: “I… you…”

Lute: “Kneel. Traitor.”

Charlie: “TOUCH HER AND I’LL MOTHERFUCKING KILL YOU”

Vaggie: “Charlie don’t struggle don’t fight them- get those fucking spears out of her face- Emily!”

Emily: “…what…?”

Lute: “I said. KNEEL.”

Charlie: “VAGGIE!”

Vaggie: “Please! Don’t let- AGH- don’t let them hurt her!”

Emily: “I won’t… I.” (grabs Charlie and holds on tight) “I- I have her. Spears down. I, have her restrained.”

Charlie: "FUCK YOU LET GO! LET GO-"

Sera: (relieved) “Thank you.”

Lute: "Let's make you look the part first shall we? Trim this hair out of the way?"

Vaggie: "You're pathetic."

Lute: "I'm not the one chained up and crying on my knees."

Charlie: "PLEASE I can make a deal I can make a new agreement with heaven- Whatever you want! What do you WANT from us!?"

Lute: "I want her to hold still. If she flinches, I might nick that left over eye of hers."

Vaggie: "Fuck. You- Ah!"

Lute: "Whoops. Hope that won't scar."

Sera: "Lute I said to make it quick-"

Lute: "We want to it be clean too don't we. I'm just cut cutting off some loose ends- wouldn't want to miss her wings and MANGLE this, would I."

Emily: “Charlie-”

Charlie: “YOU!”

Lute: "There. Now you look just as pathetic as you did three years ago."

Emily: “Charlie just close your eyes, she’ll be okay-”

Lute: “No she won’t.”

Charlie: “VAGGIE-”

(Slash)

(THUNDR CRACK)

(shatter)

Lute: “AARGH!”

Sera: “…….” (horrified)

Lute: “My hand! My sword-” (rounds on Charlie) “Demon BITCH! WHAT DID YOU DO!?”

Charlie: “Vaggie? Are you..?”

Vaggie: “….fine. I’m. I don’t think it’ll even bruise?”

Emily: (awed) “Your wings broke her sword. They shattered heavenly steel-”

Lute: “DEMON MAGIC!”

Emily: “A miracle.” (releases Charlie)

Charlie: "Vaggie-" (snaps the chains off vaggie and pulls her close)

Sera: “Traitor. How did you regain those wings.”

Vaggie: (huddled in Charlie’s fierce hug) “C- someone told me I had to fight with love, and I thought about Charlie, and they just…”

Lute: “SEE!? They were made in HELL they’re as profane as the love that spawned them-”

Emily: “Then they’re not under heaven’s jurisdiction to take away, are they? They belong to Vaggie. Not to us.”

Lute: “Belong to- she doesn’t DESERVE-”

Emily: “And you don’t deserve to cut them off her apparently.”

Lute: “I-”

Sera: “Lute. QUIET.”

Lute: (seething and bleeding from sword shrapnel) “…”

Sera: “You, fallen. If I bent my power on you, I could very likely burn those wings from existence.”

Charlie: “If you want to start a war with hell that’s a VERY good way of doing it. Sera.”

Sera: "...."

Sera: “…you will no longer be allowed past the gates of heaven. You are here on and forever more bound to the regions of hell, regardless of your wings-”

Vaggie: “Fine by f-fucking me.”

Sera: “-and in time you will lose all your divinity. You will bleed a demon’s blood one day.”

Vaggie: “Good.”

Lute: “If you live that long.”

Charlie: (Unholy SNARL)

Emily: (getting between them) “Can I send them home now? Or are we going to do something else to shame all of heaven in front of our guests?”

Vaggie: (sighing) “I’d love to be home right now…”

Charlie: “We’ll be there in a second.” (hugs her tighter) “I promise.” (kiss her hair) “Want to stretch your wings?”

Vaggie: “…yeah.”

Sera: “No, Emily. I will banish them.”

Charlie: “Okay.” (suddenly glaring) “Ha ha thank you Sera but don’t bother. It’s straight down from here and the prison wards don’t stop anyone from coming IN do they?”

Emily: “Are you sure your wings are okay for flying with, Vaggie?”

Vaggie: “That’s what I wanna find out.”

Charlie: “We’ll be fine. And we won’t be coming back.”

Emily: “I’m sorry.”

Lute: “Like you’d have the chance.”

Sera: “Go. Heaven is no place for either of you.”

Charlie: “Wow really I hadn’t noticed! I mean no one in HELL ever tried mutilating my girlfriend in front of me, but whatever I guess!” (muttering) “Sadistic homophobic pricks.”

Vaggie: “Told you.”

Charlie: “You did. You did tell me. I’m sorry I didn’t-”

Vaggie: “I love that you didn’t listen.”

Charlie: “…okay.” (deep breath) “Okay.”

Vaggie: “Besides, there’s Sir Pentious up here now.”

Charlie: “True. They don’t deserve him.”

Vaggie: “And Emily.”

Charlie: “Hm.” (burns a hole in the clouds beneath them) “Ready to fuck off together for all eternity?”

Vaggie: (weak chuckle) “Yeah, sweetie. Let’s go home.”

- they go home-

Sera: “Emily.”

Emily: "..."

Sera: “I hope you will think hard on what you’ve done and very nearly did today. Please.” (touches Emily’s shoulder) “For your own sake. Please.” (leaves)

Emily: “…she’s never going to forgive me, is she.”

Lute: “Oh shut UP. Sera will forgive you for ANYTHING.”

Emily: “I meant Charlie.”

Lute: (disgusted noise) (throws her broken sword down after them) (stalks off)

Emily: (sits down on the edge of the clouds) (finds one of Vaggie’s loose feathers floating by) (picks it up and twirls it sadly as she stares down at the distant warm glow of hell)

-down in hell-

Angel Dust: "Unholy fuck, Vaggie Tales, what the hell happened to your hair?"

Charlie: "Lute."

Vaggie: "Heaven."

Angel Dust: "Huh. Shit that's a bad enough cut to make a guy rethink the whole redeemin' himself stuff to get up there, y'know?"

Charlie: "I know. Trust me Angel Dust- NOW, I know."

[starry-bi-sky]

childhood friends danny and jason miscellaneous thoughts: because why not, i'm reworking ch2 because it no longer fits with the remaster of chapter 1 so i've been thinking of them, and i love talking about them. which you should totally go read the remaster because its 26k words and im very proud of it and it barely got any attention.

First off Ellie vapes. Mostly because I think its real fucking funny. The first time Danny finds out about it he gets all up in arms about it. Ellie at first thinks its because she's smoking -- which, helloooo pot meet kettle, Danny has been smoking for a lot longer than she has.

And then he throws a curveball at her and says he's upset specifically because its vaping. Like no, no. Dammit, if you're gonna fuck up your lungs you gotta do it properly, none of this cotton-candy flavored nonsense.

He plays it up for laughs and it's largely non-serious 'i can't believe you're using a vape', if only to hide the fact that he is genuinely displeased with his little sister smoking. Self-destructive behaviors and bad habits are his thing, thank you very much.

But, well, he knows he'd be a hypocrite if he told her he didn't like that she was smoking. He's aware its bad for him, but habits are hard to break and he's not particularly keen to break this one in particular.

Danny bullies her relentlessly about it whenever she vapes in front of him. Like don't be a loser, Elle, carry a carton of cigs and a lighter in your back pocket like the rest of us degenerates.

[more under the cut]

Secondly: Danny's piercings? He got the first lobe piercings as a lost bet from Sam in junior year, and they did it in her room with a needle, a small bottle of blood blossom extract, and an apple. He broke out in hives for a week after thanks to the blood blossom, but it prevented the hole from healing up :)

He got the rest done professionally at a piercing place in the Ghost Zone. He asked Johnny where to find it. Sam and Johnny (and Kitty) nearly convinced him into getting snakebites. He got an eyebrow piercing instead.

Danny's undercut is also self-done, he did it because Technus shot at him with an ectoblast and it missed hitting him, but set his hair on fire. Danny got it out pretty quickly, but it left his hair lopsided and obviously looking like it got burned by something. He went to Sam for help after the fight. He liked the way it looks so he's kept it that way since.

-

Vlad brought up Jason once(1) in a taunt during a fight, and this was after Jason disappeared from the ghost zone, and Danny very. very nearly killed him on the spot. He hasn't done it since.

Which leads into the other thing: Grief Triggers! As I call them. All Banshees have them in this au.

While all banshees are, in general, in a permanent state of grief, Grief Triggers are a specific emotional response that can cause them to spiral into a state of intense, sometimes debilitating sorrow, and most of the time causes them to start wailing.

Banshees know what their Grief Triggers are and in general tend to try and build up a form of resistance against it so that, if something occurs that happens to trigger said grief, they can at least either get away from other ghosts to let loose or have enough control over themselves that it'll take more work to send them spiraling.

As expected, Jason is Danny's grief trigger. He's built up a pretty good resistance to it so that hey, talking about him and his death is easier than when Danny was fourteen. But a little more prodding and it will trigger, especially depending on who brings him up and how. (See: Vlad)

Grief Triggers also manifest relatively the same; with the induction of an intense state of grief and sorrow, but how a banshee acts on it can sometimes vary. Again, it depends on who triggers it and how. Some of them can get,,, violent, depending on how it happens.

Rath, this au's 'Dan', is a case of a banshee being put into the grief state caused by grief triggers and... never really leaving it. Which they usually do on their own, or with help depending on the severity of it.

At the time it happened Danny was going through the worst week of his life a second time: his best friend's ghost disappeared, then his family and friends all died right in front of him, and then he was stuck with someone who wasn't helping him through that grief.

He was already in the grieving state when Vlad tore out his ghost half. As a result, Vlad only made it worse. With that fury thrown into the mix, Vlad ended up getting torn apart and nobody else was close enough with nor could they get close enough to Rath to help him come down from the wailing state.

So Rath ended up getting stuck in a perpetual negative feedback loop of absolute misery, and well... drove himself insane. The rest of the world became collateral as a result.

-

the difference between Danny and Jason lies in the fact that Jason died, while Danny is dead.

-

I'm having more thoughts on the CFAU/TMWS universe banshees, actually.

Banshees are either born in the ghost zone from ectoplasm and are ecto-entities and work as banshees as how we know of them, or they're human spirits that died mourning someone and that grief was so intense that it turned them into a banshee. They're a little more rare.

These banshees typically mourn only one person, or sometimes they follow their Realm-born counterparts and choose a family to mourn for. Typically their own.

Ember is not a banshee; human spirit banshees are always mourning another person. However, her abilities emulate certain qualities of banshees: like the beautiful singing. But in comparison to an actual banshee, Ember's voice pales.

Does this mean Danny has the better singing voice? Yeah. Ember is incensed by this.

-

If canon Danny and CFAU/TMWS Danny met, I think canon Danny would be kinda unsettled or off put by CFAU.

CFAU Danny still has some pretty core Danny traits, at least I like to think so -- his general drive to help people just out of compassion for them (even if it manifests differently at first due to trauma), his wit and humor, his fear of failing to protect his loved ones, all of those resonate with canon Danny.

However, canon Danny, as far as I can remember and as far as his wiki goes, rarely gets extremely angry or emotional. He gets irritated and he gets annoyed but him getting mad I don't think happens super often. CFAU Danny is the angrier one between Jason and Danny. It's one of the things I consider a division point between him and canon Danny as it's a result of him growing up in Crime Alley. Canon Danny is canonically shy and meek prior to becoming Phantom, CFAU Danny couldn't be -- he'd be dead already.

CFAU Danny's anger would off put canon Danny, in my opinion. His anger, his smoking, and for lack of a better term, his bloodlust would unsettle him.

Like, for example, say CFAU Danny gets transported to a canon (or canon-adjacent) Danny's universe. He's staying with canon for a little bit as they brainstorm how to get him back home, and CFAU Danny goes to school with canon if only so that he's not stuck in the house all day.

Whether they try and pass CFAU Danny off as canon's cousin or if the town already knows that he's another version of Danny, it doesn't matter. Because insert Dash.

Dash who, in CFAU Danny's world, has since learned not to fuck around with Danny or the other kids because Danny has long since asserted that he will beat his ass if he does. 'Fucking around' always predates the 'finding out', and Danny is happy to act as consequence.

(As my father told me (paraphrased) when I was a small child and full of uncontrollable anger: "there's gonna be a day where you're gonna hit someone, and they're gonna hit you back")

And canon Dash, who is used to canon Danny who kinda just takes it because it means that he won't target other people, would see CFAU Danny. He'd notice the resemblance between him and canon, immediately try and go "oh new target!", and try and bully him the same way he does to canon. And Danny "I am the consequences of your actions" CFAU Fenton, instantly throws hands.

Just, CFAU Danny is kind but he's also Gotham-raised and full of bite; he's meaner than canon is. He's more ruthless too, especially in his ghost fights. The ease of which he slips into violence would, imo, discomfort canon. CFAU and Canon would eventually get along though, they're not so different that they'd be in constant clash of each other.

(Canon Danny and Danyal Al Ghul however,,, thats another post LMAO)