#...like an onion

[theloveinc]

ShinKami headcanons?

thank you for waiting, legend!!! i haven’t written headcanons in so long tbh so i hope these are alright <333 

also, do we prefer the regular tumblr bolded list dots for headcanons, or when they look like this: 

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- I’m not sure where to begin... so please pardon how this starts LOL

- Shinso + Denki are honestly great in a throuple because they literally never, and I mean NEVER, make you feel left out. Whether you start the relationship with them or join after they’re already together... there’s never a moment when you’re not included in whatever their needs/wants are... or need to feel like that’s so. 

- If they talk about needing to cuddle, going somewhere, getting dinner... you better assume you’re included + respond enthusiastically or they’re gonna pester you about it. To no end. There is no “Denki + Shinso time together without y/n...” it’s all three of you or BUST

- You’re like: “aw okay have fun together” in a text about something and they both nearly call off work b/c they’re so upset you thought you weren’t part of it (you get like forty texts about it and at least five phone calls). Same w/ cuddling. You don’t catch the hint they want you there... then they’re literally DRAGGING you to bed. 

- And If there’s a party and you don’t want to go for some reason, they’re not going either. Could be fully ass dressed and ready to leave and everything, but if you express hesitation the jackets are coming right off. 

- In fact, they probably end up a lot more annoyed at each other without you. It’s not really noticeable to someone who doesn’t know them, or even all that common normally... but if you happen to ignore them for some reason, purposefully or not, there’s like a 75% chance Shin + Denks will end up at each other’s throats for some reason or another (though it’s really just sadness in disguise).

- And you’re probably the only person they listen to in arguments + can get them to stop bickering. Not even Bakugo has shit on you tbh, when it comes to one word being enough to make them be quiet. 

- You get home late from work one night (on a night neither of them are on patrol)... and there’s a full ass canyon between them on the bed and they have grumpy faces on even in their sleep. 

- That’s another thing, though... it’s great if you’re like this, too... terrible if/when you need to go somewhere........... but they’re always gonna do the most when it comes to cuddling you. “y/n” more like Shin + Denks’ joint teddy bear they have to share, every single night. 

- Except it’s not like... normal ass spooning... it’s like, Shinso’s armpit over your forehead and Denki clinging to your belly. Or Shinso’s arm around your neck and Denki’s leg over both your thighs...

- Which is funny because they’re actually really horrible sleepers (we knew this, though)... so this all ends up occurring at like... 4am when everyone is finally tired enough to stop moving. Otherwise, there’s normally at least one of them awake at all times, even if they’re in bed. 

- And I’ve said this before but... Shinso watches TV on his phone in bed when he can’t sleep....... and now that I think about it, Denki does, too........ so sometimes you’ll just randomly wake up in the middle of the night to find both of them sharing earbuds, eating a snack and watching something on a tiny ass phone screen that’s held literally right above your head. Get them some help. 

- LMAOOOO and they’re so bad at eating. Not just because they literally always forget to and are bad at cooking (so they just end up eating junk), but because... they consistently eat off of your plate. Every single meal. Like, at this point... you should just stop setting the table because they don’t even want their own food. 

- It sorta makes a little sense because you often don’t get mealtime together because of their work schedules, so yeah, sharing is nice........... but it’s still like ??? whenever one of them is getting ready for work and literally yoinks your half eaten piece of toast right out of your hands and leaves with it. 

- (You might be like, “Caitie, they both do that?” Yes.) They honestly have jealousy problems, too. If Denki gets your half your sandwich in the morning, Shinso is absolutely complaining about how rude that is....... and then trying to finish half of your lunch. There is no meal where you are ever fully left alone. They’re just lucky they get paid hella good so cooking/ordering in abundance is not really a problem anymore (and making all your dinners family style is pretty easy). 

- Same with spending time with each other, too. Denki is more babyish about it than Shinso, but if one catches the other cuddling without them... they’re throwing a whole fit. Denki getting all whiney about how “Shinso always get the front!!” or Shinso trying to hit Denki w/ a pillow for taking up “too much of” you. Or even pinching and tickling at you for always “getting everything.”

- But literally... you should probably just start saying no to cuddling at this point, and esp. if you plan on trying to get anything done after, cuz spoiler alert: you won’t, and never will (cuz then they’re mad at you for leaving them and finally teaming up to mildly guilt you). 

- Which like... what do these boys even want at this point😭😭😭 (gotta love them, though). 

[krasnyel]

regular ascot-loving-mystery-solving family

[setaflow]

Gay pride happens in June and gay wrath happens whenever hbomberguy drops a 3+ hour video essay about a specific topic

[limbel]

one thing about supernatural is that it is getting gayer and gayer as time passes

[clementineskesh]

the best thing about benoit blanc's clearly established emotional intelligence is knowing with 100% certainty that he did everything in his power to hurt miles bron's feelings on purpose

[night-eyes1]

[ashwhothat]

Gravity falls as onion headlines part II part I

[doctorwhoisadhd]

also huge fan of the fact that benoit blanc uses an old timey bathing suit. like first of all yeah that fucking rules and is very gender of him. but ALSO like.

its daniel craig. he was JAMES BOND obviously hes been shirtless in a movie before. he literally wanted to be shirtless in this but rian johnson was like, no i dont think so. and frankly THANK FUCK.

[the-mad-prince-of-denmark]

Can’t decide what’s funnier- Benoit Blanc meeting his husband during a high stakes murder mystery or Benoit Blanc meeting his husband at like, the grocery store

[spacediddly]

The funniest thing to me about Benoit Blanc in Glass Onion is that I didn’t realize that his striped outfit at the pool was a swimsuit, so I just saw him get in the water in his little suit and was like “yeah, that makes sense for him”

[piss-off-erik]

things I expected from watching glass onion with my family: a fun evening with a movie I know we’ll all enjoy

things I did not expect from watching glass onion with my family: my mother going on a 15 minute rant about how much she hates Hugh grant (based on his 15 seconds of screen time) and how Benoit Blanc deserves better, and then my dad defending Hugh Grant because he was holding a sourdough starter and that’s the ‘sign of a caring partner’

[ayo-edebiri]

💀

[banjo-bugs]

I truly genuinely believe they would get along so well

[mwagneto]

Janelle Monáe in Glass Onion // The Mona Lisa

[yoru-kage]

Benoit Blanc is utterly delightful pass it on

[drbtinglecannon]

The way in Knives Out that the entire Thrombey family constantly subjected Marta to racism for years ranging from micro aggressions to outright threats of deportation, that she knew all their fucked up dirty laundry and how they all were constantly exploiting Harlan's wealth, that they excluded her from Harlan's funeral and each blamed everyone else for it, and that they immediately dropped all pretenses of condescending civility when the will was read, yet she spent almost the entire movie sympathetic of them and wanting to gift them the fortune Harlan left her before finally standing up for herself in the last hour

Vs

The way in Glass Onion that Helen outright hated the entire "disrupters" group for at least ~10yrs before the movie even took place and made her opinion explicitly known, that her acting as her twin sister being jilted was so easy to maintain because she hated the entire group so much, that she didn't at all humor their extremely conditional "comradery" with her cause against Miles, and that in the end when everything was said and done she didn't stick around to watch them all turn on each other because it didn't matter anymore if they did or didn't

Marta's kindness got her the house.

Helen's justified fury burned Miles' down.