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cakesunflower · 1 month

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lovelorn (and nobody knows) [rafe cameron au fic] chapter 6

Summary: Isla Carrera had planned for the summer before college to be focused on three things: helping out at her family’s restaurant (the helpful daughter), preparing for college (the good student), and having fun with the Pogues (the loyal friend). But one fateful night, where her car breaks down and her rescuer is none other than Rafe Cameron, seems to send her summer down a path she didn’t see coming–one teeming with a secret, illicit romance with the last person she expected. And if her friends and sister found out, Isla isn’t sure they’ll be so understanding, no matter what her feelings are.

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

The local park is crowded with families and friends arriving to watch a movie under the stars, the screen set up and people trying to find ideal spots to sit in. Some, like Rafe and his friends, have brought camping chairs to sit in, while others opted for blankets and cushions to lie down on. Rafe scrolls aimlessly on his phone as they wait for the movie to start, only half listening to whatever conversation Topper and Kelce are having on either side of him. The movie playing tonight is Jaws, one Rafe has seen a hundred times before, but he truthfully enjoys the outdoor movies in the park.

His mom used to take him and his sisters when he was younger, years ago, and if his dad wasn’t too busy with work, he would join them as well. But mostly, it was an outing he took part in with his mom, Sarah, and Wheezie when she was too young to even remember it, really. Rafe looked forward to those nights, because his mother would pack snacks, bring their favorite blankets so they were comfortable, and they would be nights well spent. After his mom passed, he and his sisters would come together, but the more they grew up, they got involved in their own lives, and stopped coming together. But Rafe always came, whether by himself or with his friends.

He lifts his gaze from his phone, letting his eyes wander as he pokes his cheek with his tongue, seeking out a face he has no business searching for. Rafe clenches his jaw, lifting his cap and running his fingers through his hair before settling it down backwards atop his head. He tries not to shift in his seat because whatever the hell this is, it came out of nowhere and damn near knocked Rafe on his ass. From that night she collided against him in front of his house, running away from something, something has shifted for Rafe.

Annoyingly enough, he can’t make sense of it—other than the fact that he finds himself hoping to run into Isla Carrera. And it’s a breath of fresh air, every time he does, and Rafe doesn’t think he’s felt that way around anyone, or for anyone, ever before. It’s confusing as shit, but all Rafe knows is that he sees Isla, and something settles in his chest. Something dangerously close to contentment that he can’t remember ever feeling.

As if his thoughts conjured up her presence, Rafe catches sight of Isla entering the park, and even as he subtly sits up, ignoring Topper and Kelce’s ongoing conversation, Rafe’s chest something fucking ridiculous as he watches her. Walking in with a cylindrical bag containing her camp chair, smooth legs looking long, despite her shorter height, in those denim shorts. And then there’s that smile—laughing with her friends and showing off the set of deep dimples framing her lips that he swears he can see even from where he’s sitting.

Beautiful. It’s not an epiphany of any kind, just a matter of truth that he finds himself admiring, running his tongue across his teeth as he watches them search for a place to settle. But then JJ’s arm drops around Isla’s shoulders, making her grin widen as they chat animatedly, and Rafe’s jaw is clenching before he can even help it. Rubbing a thumb along his lower lip, he wonders if there’s anything going on between Isla and JJ. He knows the two of them are close—he doesn’t need to be friends with them to know the truth of it; he’s seen them around together all of the time, and Instagram is filled with pictures with him. Though, that can also be said for the rest of her friends, too, but Rafe is stuck on the idea of Isla and JJ being together.

And it’s an idea that causes a too conspicuous burn in the middle of his chest, filling his stomach with lead that catches him off guard. But that’s been the running theme with Isla, honestly; constantly being caught off guard with his newfound desire—want, need—to see her, be around her, talk to her. Now, he watches her give JJ a friendly shrug, laughing, and he wishes that she was close enough for him to hear the sound.

He watches her and her friends settle down on a spot ahead of where he sits, slightly feeling like a creep because he can’t seem to tear his gaze away. And then he sees Isla and Sarah break away from the group once they’ve put their things down, noting that they seem to be headed towards the concession canteen, and he’s on his feet before he can think twice.

“Where’re you going?” Topper asks, halting his conversation with Kelce.

“Uh, canteen,” he answers. To play it off, he asks his friends, “You two want anything?”

Topper shakes his head while Kelce says, “Coke.”

He crosses the park, moving around people and avoiding colliding with kids who are running around excitedly, and his gaze never strays from where Isla and Sarah are standing in line. To be really fucking honest, Rafe has no idea what the hell he’s doing; he’s got nothing substantial to say to Isla, definitely not in front of his sister, yet he is being pulled towards her like a magnet. Avoiding her seems impossible.

Despite not having a plan in mind, Rafe ends up right behind them in line, greeting them with a smooth, “Ladies.”

They both turn, Sarah’s eyebrows rising as the ghost of an amused smile tugs on her mouth. “Hey, Rafe,” she says slowly.

He meets her gaze, shooting her a brotherly look that silently says don’t be weird before his gaze shifts over to Isla. Something indecipherable passes through her eyes, an interesting light brown with hints of green that could bring a grown man to his knees. The air is charged between them, and he hopes Sarah doesn’t notice as Isla presses her lips together briefly, her dimples shadowing, before dipping her chin in a nod. “Hey.”

Rafe presses his tongue to the roof of his mouth in an attempt to bite back the amused smile threatening to grow. He can tell she’s slightly unsure of what to do, a secret shared between them that has her biting the inside of her cheek, from what he can tell. Rafe has to stop his gaze from lingering on her lips, full and pink and appearing to be so soft, he wonders if that’s how they feel, too. He wonders what she tastes like, the kinds of sounds he can get her to make, and his blood pumps a little too hard as he tries to shove those thoughts to the back of his mind. Subtle amusement warms him when he notes the way she’s fiddling with the gold necklace she wears, one that reads her name.

Tearing his gaze away from Isla, he asks Sarah, “You gonna be home tonight?”

Sarah looks at him strangely. “No. I’m spending the night at John B’s.” With a snort, she adds, “Don’t worry—you’ll have the house to yourself.”

His gaze flickers upon hearing that, inconspicuously locking with Isla’s, and he watches as she rolls her lower lip into her mouth, the air between them stirring. Fortunately, Sarah doesn’t notice the exchange as it’s her and Isla’s turn to order. Sarah is quick to spin around, giving Rafe her back as she orders at the canteen, while Isla widens her eyes at Rafe, staring at him in mild disbelief that has his smirk breaking free, tongue poking the inside of his lower lip.

He sees the way her cheeks pinken, the sight stealing the air from Rafe’s lungs as Isla shakes her head in incredulity before turning as well to give the guy behind the counter her order. Rafe has to stifle a chuckle, hands shoved into the pockets of his shorts as he waits to order. Might as well get himself and Kelce a drink.

“Oh! By the way,” Sarah says, spinning to look at him. “I forgot to tell you—it was nice of you to help out Isla with her ex problem on Friday night.”

His sister smiles at him, proud, while Isla looks from Sarah to Rafe, that pink back in her cheeks. When Sarah glances at her, Isla clears her throat and says, “Yeah, uh, thanks again for that.”

Sarah hums, reaching out and patting Rafe’s chest as she teasingly quips, “I guess you have a heart, afterall.”

He rolls his eyes as Sarah snickers, turning to grab her items from the guy behind the counter. Isla seems to be fighting an amused smile, dimples making an appearance, as Sarah gathers a bunch of snacks and drinks in her arms and turns to Isla. “Can you grab the rest? I’m gonna get back before I drop all of this,” she says hurriedly, and when Isla gives her a nod, Sarah runs off, a quick, “See you later,” thrown at him before she’s gone.

As Isla gathers the rest of the things, she glances at him with an arched brow. “Can I help you?”

His grin widens as he responds, “I don’t know if you wanna know the answer to that.”

Both of her eyebrows shoot up at that as she turns his way, holding two soda cans, a small bag of chips, and a packet of M&Ms. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asks slowly, stepping aside so he can order.

“Two cans of Coke, please,” he tells the guy, pulling out a five dollar bill. With his elbow resting on the counter, he looks at Isla, and the words escape him before he can think twice. “Means I wanna see you.”

She blinks, and even as he sees the realization startle across her face, coloring her cheeks, she says, “You’re seeing me now.”

Rafe knows that Isla knows exactly what he means; he sees it on her face, the way the delicate column of her throat works, and he resists the urge to widen his smile. “Have dinner with me.”

Isla’s eyes widen, lips parting in surprise as she looks up at him, as if trying to discern whether he’s joking or not. He couldn’t be more serious if he tried. He has no idea when his interest in Isla started or where it came from, but he can already tell it isn’t fleeting. Rafe can’t look at her and just think of her as his sister’s friend. Now, when he looks at Isla, there’s an evident pull tugging in the middle of his chest, desperate to be close to her, to know her. He can’t ignore it. He doesn’t want to.

He waits patiently as she processes his request while he gets handed the soda cans. “Rafe, I—”

“Just think about it,” he finds himself saying, not quite prepared to hear a rejection, though he wouldn’t be surprised if she said no. Especially when her gaze flickers past him, presumably to where her friends sit, and he gets it. Her friends don’t like him, at all, and he doesn’t particularly care for them, either. But, fuck, he doesn’t want that to get in the way of pursuing something with Isla. “And let me know,” he adds with a shrug of a shoulder before pulling away to head back to where he’s sitting.

As he moves, he sees Isla walking from his periphery, going back to her friends. Handing Kelce one of the sodas, Rafe settles in his chair as he watches Isla distributing the snacks she carried among her friends, and he swears when her head lifts, she looks right at him for a brief moment before sitting down, her back now to him.

Even when the movie starts once the sun sets, Rafe can admit to himself that his gaze rests more on the back of Isla’s head than it does on the movie itself, sipping his cold drink to cool down the heat simmering in his blood. It’s like now that she’s walked into his thoughts, there’s no getting her out. Does he even want to?

Halfway through the movie, he sees Isla stand up, trying to bend down in hopes of not disrupting anyone’s view behind her as she breaks away from her friends. His gaze is drawn to her automatically, watching as she pulls out her phone and types something quickly and then, a second later, his phone buzzes quietly in his pocket. Rafe presses his tongue between his teeth as he pulls out his phone, trying to keep the burgeoning hope at bay, only to have to stifle a smile when he sees that she had messaged him on Instagram. Only one word: bathrooms.

Rubbing a hand down his face to hide his smile, he puts his drink down and tells the guys, “Bathroom break,” before walking off.

The grass is soft beneath his sneakers as he walks away from the crowd gathered, the sounds of the movie rumbling in his ears as he approaches the small brick building, styled like a shed, that houses the public restrooms. Rafe’s gaze wanders as he walks around the back, trying to catch sight of Isla because he doubts she’s inside, even as he glances over his shoulder to make sure her friends aren’t watching. He doesn’t particularly care, but he would much rather not make things difficult for Isla. More than they already might be.

“Hey.” The soft sound of her voice catches his attention even as screams sound from the movie, his head snapping to the right where he sees her leaning against the back wall of the building. It’s hidden from the view of the crowd, and no one would spot them unless they deliberately walked around to the back of the building. Rafe presses his tongue to the roof of his mouth as he slowly approaches her where she stands, her hands behind her as she leans against the wall. The light summer breeze makes her dark hair dance slightly, some strands crossing over her face that he resists the urge to brush back.

Beautiful. She’s absolutely beautiful, which is something Rafe knew for years, of course, but losing his breath at the sight of her is new, foreign. Not unwelcomed. There’s a natural rosiness to her cheeks, tiny freckles spread across the bridge of her nose, a few shades darker than the natural brown of her skin. And those eyes—a stunning mix of brown and green framed by long eyelashes—that watch him curiously and, fuck, maybe a little in anticipation, too.

He walks over to her, effectively blocking him from view as well, and leans against the wall with his right arm, facing her. She’s close enough that he can smell the apple scent that clings to her, having to physically stop himself from taking a deep breath so he doesn’t freak her out and end this conversation before it even starts.

So he brings forward an easy grin and raises his eyebrows as he asks, “To what do I owe this secret rendezvous?”

Isla purses her lips, but he notes the twitch on the corners, like she’s fighting back a smile. “This. . . Hypothetical dinner,” she says carefully, making his amusement grow. As well as that seed of hope. “It can’t exactly happen in public. Not when my friends can easily spot us.”

He had expected as much. Who knows what kind of shit she’d get into with the rest of the Pogues if they found out she was having dinner with him. It’s kind of fucking annoying, but when it comes to this, Rafe has a feeling she’s going to run the show. It’s her friendships she would be risking. His own friends would be shocked, for sure, and definitely might think he’s out of his mind for being with a Pogue because of all the hostile history the two groups have. But Rafe can easily ignore all of that—especially when she looks at him with those pretty eyes.

“I know,” he answers with a slight tilt of her head. “Come over, then. I’ll cook.”

“You can cook?” she asks, a light dancing in her eyes as she peers up at him. He dips his chin in a nod as she chews her bottom lip and his stomach clenches, wanting to put his own teeth there. “When?”

“Tomorrow. Tonight. Right now.” His reply is instant, borderline desperate, but he doesn’t care. Even as she gapes at him, lips curling upwards as her cheeks pinken. “Didn’t you hear Sarah before? I have the house to myself.”

A breathy laugh escapes Isla, his eyes dropping to her lips as he forces himself not to close the gap between them. He wants to kiss her, so fucking badly, but it’s not the right time. Her gaze meets his and he sees the hesitation creep in, her throat working as she starts, “Rafe—”

He already knows what she’s going to say. “It’ll be just dinner, Isla,” he assures her honestly. “You come over, we eat, we talk, and you go home.”

She eyes him skeptically for a moment, like she’s not sure that that’s all he wants. And, of course, he wants more. But Rafe also knows to go at Isla’s pace, whatever’s good for her. He would never rush her, or pressure her. Whatever the Pogues may think of him, he’s not someone who would intentionally make a woman feel uncomfortable; he has two younger sisters, and if he found out some guy made them feel as much, he’d get his knuckles bloody.

“I think Kie’s staying over John B’s tonight, too, with the others,” Isla finally says, slowly as though she’s measuring every word. “But I can get out of it. I can come tonight, if you want. If that works.”

Excitement tinged with disbelief lances through Rafe, half thinking he heard her wrong. But he plays it cool, not wanting to give her any reason to second guess, even as his surprise takes him a minute to form a proper response. Truthfully, Rafe had thought it would be more difficult to convince her; he wouldn’t push her, and wouldn't want to make her uncomfortable. But he’s surprised that she agreed somewhat easily.

Was she in the same boat as him? Did she find herself thinking about him more and more as the days went on, like he did with her? Rafe is a little desperate to know what’s going on in that head of hers, but he’s willing to be patient. To give her the time and space to let him in as much as she wants, when she wants.

There’s still some hesitation lingering in her eyes, which Rafe doesn’t blame her for, but Isla doesn’t take back her offer. So Rafe nods, the corner of his mouth curving up in a smile. “Tonight’s good. What time works best for you?”

She glances at her phone, reading the time, and Rafe catches the picture of her lockscreen. A group selfie with her friends on their little boat out on the water, the sun beaming down on them and wide grins on their faces, hair and skin glimmering and wet from swimming, no doubt. “The movie should be over by seven-thirty,” Isla says thoughtfully, eyes lifting so their gazes can meet. “Does eight-thirty work?”

He lifts his chin, trying to keep his smile from taking over his face. Calm, cool. “Works for me. I’ll see you then?”

He says it as a question, giving her a chance to back out once more even though he doesn’t want her to. Rafe knows this whole thing is new, uncharted territory for both of them. He doesn’t want to make light of it, and he wants Isla to know that. And maybe it’s the right thing to do, because he sees her eyes light, some of the earlier hesitation disappearing as a gentle smile touches her pink lips.

It loosens a knot in Rafe’s chest he didn’t even know existed as Isla nods. “Yeah, you will,” she says softly, an undercurrent of a promise they both know is a risk to make.

But the smile they share might be worth it.

*****

Isla has been to the sprawling Cameron estate plenty of times before; for parties, sleepovers, regular hangouts, pool days—all of which were to see Sarah. But tonight, as she parks her car in the driveway and kills the engine and headlights, staring at the house—mansion—ahead, it feels different. Because this time, she’s not here for Sarah. This time, she knows the only person in the house who is waiting for her is Sarah’s older and stupidly attractive brother.

Isla sits in her car for a few extra moments, gripping the steering wheel tightly, mentally preparing herself to get out of the car. Her friends are all at John B’s for the night, and when Isla had said she was going home after the movies, they all had eyed her in bewilderment. But all she had said was that she was getting a headache—which was fair, because they all know Isla has the tendency to develop headaches after going to the movies—and they had let it go. And then Isla takes a deep breath, thinking of her conversation with her mom when she had gotten home to take a quick shower to get the mild scent of summer sweat off of her.

“I need you to cover for me,” Isla had said to her after getting out of the shower, dressed in a baby blue romper as her damp hair fell around her shoulders.

“Cover for you?” her mom had asked, arching an eyebrow, waiting for the kettle to whistle so she could make herself a cup of green tea. “What’s going on, baby?”

Isla and Kie were both close with their parents, but while Kie had a special relationship with their dad, Isla had the same with their mom. Anna Carrera had always been the kind of mother who always wanted her kids to come to her with anything. While Kie and their mom got into more arguments, mostly borne from Kie’s disinterest in any Kook-related events that their parents dragged them to, Isla and their mom were more similar. Which is why she felt comfortable to go to her mom about this, and trusted her discretion.

“I have a date tonight,” Isla told her, watching her mom’s eyebrows flick up in curious excitement. “And it’s with Rafe Cameron.” Anna blinked, her surprise evident because she knows of the less than friendly relationship between Rafe and the Pogues. “I know, I know, I didn’t see it coming either. But Kie’s with the others at John B’s, and I told them I had a headache and was gonna be home for the night, but I’m, uh, going to have dinner with Rafe and I just need you to cover for me with Kie in case she asks. Which I don’t think she will, but still.”

Isla knew the irony of it all—asking her mother to cover for her with her sister, instead of the other way around. She only felt a little bit of guilt, which would be greater if Isla and Kie didn’t cover for each other with their parents a dozen more times in the past. There was already a seed of guilt that had planted itself in the pit of Isla’s stomach from that first night, running into Rafe, and she had the feeling it was only going to grow if she kept up whatever this was with Rafe. More so, now that she had agreed to a damn date with him.

She couldn’t bring herself to regret it, though.

“Honey,” Anna sighed, taking a step towards Isla. “I wish you didn’t have to be so secretive about liking a boy.”

“I don’t—” Isla stumbled, cheeks flaming. She didn’t know why she was embarrassed, but this wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have right now. She couldn’t stand there and analyze these confusing feelings for Rafe. “Mom, could you just—”

“Yes, yes,” her mom said, waving her hand. “I have you covered,” she added, using air quotes that had Isla letting out a nervous laugh. “Have fun and be safe, alright?”

Isla exhaled slowly. “Thanks, Mom.”

Now, without delaying any further, Isla gets out of the car and begins making her way up the driveway to the front door, each step closer and closer to making her heart pound louder and louder. But the more distance gets cut between her and the front door, Isla realizes her racing pulse isn’t entirely made out of anxious nerves, but of a building excitement giving birth to anticipation of what’s waiting for her inside. She runs her fingers through her hair once she gets to the door, and exhales softly.

“Here we go,” she mutters to herself, maybe still in partial disbelief as she raises a hand to ring the doorbell, resisting the urge to bounce on the heels of her sneakers.

Only a few seconds later, the door swings open, and the air stills in Isla’s lungs as her gaze lands on Rafe. And, God, she’s hopeless in trying to stop the smile that instantly tugs at her lips, her stomach doing flips as he stares at her, almost like in wonder. Like he didn’t believe she would actually show up until this moment, now that she’s standing in front of him.

“Hi,” Isla greets, offering a smile she hopes is confident. She doesn’t want to be nervous; in that moment, she tries to channel her sister’s confidence and self-assurance.

“Hey,” he returns and Isla takes the next few seconds admiring the sight of him. He also changed out of his clothes from the movies, now in khaki pants and a light blue button down, sleeves rolled to the elbows, that matches the shade of her romper. Like they had somehow planned it. His left wrist wears a watch, while the other has the familiar bracelets that makes Isla smile a little more. When her gaze lifts, her eyes meet his, and Rafe wears a charming, boyish smile as he says, “You look pretty.”

The simple compliment makes her cheeks heat up. “Thank you,” she murmurs as he opens the door wider.

“Come on in.” She steps into the house, walking past him and is immediately greeted by the familiar scent of his cologne—and him—as well as another delicious aroma wafting in the air. Before she can even ask, Rafe shuts the door and tells her, “I made shrimp scampi.”

Her eyebrows rise, stomach flipping as she glances at him. With a playful smile, she asks, “What if I’m allergic to shrimp?”

There’s no sign of panic. Instead, Rafe snorts and arches his own eyebrow in return. “I saw you enjoying the shrimp cocktails at Dad and Rose’s anniversary party a few months ago for that to be true.”

He noticed that? The warmth in her cheeks intensifies as she mumbles, “Touche,” earning a grin from him.

Chuckling, Rafe nods his head. “Come on, we’re out back.”

She follows him through the house, passing the dining room and kitchen, until they’re stepping out onto the backyard. The lights from Sarah’s party are still wrapped around the trees, glimmering colorfully, and Isla spots a table set up a good distance away from the pool, already set for dinner. There’s a fluttering sensation in her chest as they near it, lips parting in surprise that he not only cooked dinner, but took the time to set up the table outside. Above them the stars twinkled, and Isla can make out the sound of water lapping not only from the pool, but the water on the other side of the Cameron property.

Disbelief has her fiddling with her necklace as they walk to the table. He really set this up for them? The thought behind it alone, as well as the effort, made the fluttering in her chest intensify, spreading throughout the rest of her as she asks, “You made this in an hour?”

The movie had ended at seven-thirty and she agreed to come over at eight-thirty. There’s a steaming dish of shrimp scampi and a bowl of salad on the table—when did he have time to make this? Frankly, Isla is still trying to wrap her head around the fact that not only did she agree to dinner with Rafe, but that Rafe Cameron made dinner for her. It’s all so. . . Gentlemanly and chivalrous, which Isla hadn’t expected. But then again, it’s not like she actually knows Rafe well, other than the beef he and his friends get into with her own friends.

“I, uh,” Rafe chuckles and Isla finds herself being fond of the way that he looks slightly embarrassed. It’s a complete contrast to the cool and confident way he usually carries himself. “I sort of dipped early at the movies to get ready.”

God, she can’t help it—a grin breaks out across her face at the confession, her pulse racing. She briefly wonders if Sarah even knows about this thoughtful side of her brother. She’s still wrapping her head around it, but seeing is believing, she figures.

“Can I be honest?” Rafe asks when they sit down across from each other. Isla arches an eyebrow in return, a silent and curious encouragement for him to continue. “I’ve, uh, never actually cooked for someone for a date before.”

Isla is surprised at his willingness to admit that. She always got the impression that Rafe wasn’t the kind of guy who liked to show any kind of vulnerability to anyone. This side of him is refreshing to see, so different than what she has seen of Rafe in the past and interacted with.

So she rewards his bit of honesty with an honest response of her own. “I’ve never had anyone cook for me on a date before,” she tells him with a warm smile, one she isn’t sure she’s ever given Rafe before, but she likes the way his broad shoulders seem to relax. “I guess it’s a first for both of us.” In more ways than one.

The slow grin he gives her is, to put it bluntly, panty-melting as it shoots heat through her blood. She puts her effort in making sure her fingers don’t tremble as she serves herself when Rafe gestures to the dish in front of them. The gentle summer breeze helps cool down her heated skin as the delicious aroma of the pasta hits her nose, and a smile touches her lips when Rafe grabs the bottle of Sauvignon Blanc—one of the more expensive brands, which is up to Cameron standards.

“Wine?” he offers.

“Sure, thank you,” Isla murmurs.

Once the wine is opened and poured, they begin eating, and Isla has to actively stop herself from moaning in delight as the buttery taste of the pasta hits her tongue. It’s delicious, to say the least, and somehow tastes even better knowing that Rafe prepared this for her. When has a date ever cooked for her? Never, and maybe hell has frozen over for Rafe Cameron to be the first, but her heart has been in constant fluttering mode the moment he had told her he’d cook dinner tonight.

“How is it?” Rafe asks when she swallows her first bite, watching her with curious, anticipating blue eyes.

She nods in approval, licking her lips and dabbing them with a napkin. “Really freaking good,” Isla tells him honestly, smiling when she sees the satisfaction glimmer in his own gaze, the proud smile that takes over his face. Rafe seems to relax a bit after her compliment, only then reaching for his fork to begin eating. It makes her smile, that he waited for her approval before even taking a bite. “Where’d you learn to cook?” she asks as she twirls more noodles around her fork.

“My mom was a great cook,” he answers and Isla watches as a fond, nostalgic smile softens his handsome features. The sight is so gentle, it chips away a lot of her shock of even being here in the first place. “And I had the habit of following her around, so she’d enlist my help when she’d cook. Went from washing the vegetables to chopping them and learning from her.”

He shrugs at the end, like it’s no big thing, but it has Isla softening as she pictures a young Rafe, watching his mom with curious intent, his quick mind tracking her movements and actions. Isla’s not oblivious—she knows Rafe is intelligent; it’s a fact not even Sarah scoffs at. After all, Isla knows he’s also involved in the family real estate and property business, set to take over for his dad whenever Ward decides to retire.

So the guy’s set to take over the family business and can cook—and Isla isn’t supposed to be attracted to him?

“Do you cook?” Rafe asks, pulling her out of her thoughts. “I’m assuming you do, given the business your family’s in.”

Isla breathes out a laugh, nodding in agreement. “You’d be right about that.” Both of her parents love to cook, and most of the recipes at The Wreck are ones her mom and dad created, which are widely loved across the Outer Banks. Isla’s family restaurant is a hot tourist spot during the summer, and otherwise a local love as well. “My mom and dad made sure Kie and I knew our way around the kitchen.”

He reaches for his glass of wine. “Do you have something you like making the most?”

She leans back in her chair, humming thoughtfully, gaze at the starry night sky as she does. Dinner under the stars with Rafe—who would’ve thought? Her lips quirk up before she answers, “Gumbo.”

Rafe’s eyebrows shoot up. “Gumbo?” he repeats, grinning.

“Gumbo,” Isla confirms with a nod. “Dad’s side is from New Orleans, and they’ve got an old family recipe for the best gumbo I’ve ever had—though, I may be biased,” she adds with a laugh. “But as soon as Kie and I could cook on our own, he showed us how to make it, and it’s one of my favorite things to cook.” Her smile turns sly, leaning forward, and her heart thumps when Rafe mirrors the movement, gaze locked on hers as though she’s about to share some grand secret. “Between me and you, my gumbo’s better than Kie’s.”

A breathy chuckle escapes Rafe and Isla dangerously finds herself adoring the way the light dances in his blue eyes. “Hope I can try it someday.”

It’s a statement casually spoken, but there’s nothing casual about the butterflies in Isla’s stomach. Her smile turns a little shy, her cheeks a little warm, as she lifts her fork and tells him, “If you’re lucky,” before taking another bite of the delicious food.

The grin that breaks out across his face is exciting, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek in impressed acceptance. Of course, he doesn’t let her get away with it and asks, “Be honest, did you agree to having this dinner tonight so you didn’t lose your nerve if we did it later on?”

Isla damn near chokes on her sip of wine at his blunt question, though he asks it with an amused undercurrent in that smooth voice of his. The warmth in her cheek intensifies as she lowers the glass, forcing her surprised gaze to meet his smug, expectant one. The blue and silver lights of the lapping pool water bathe him in an almost ethereal light, which doesn’t help Isla’s attraction to him as she clears her throat in a useless attempt to stall answering his question.

Despite her hammering heart, Isla somehow manages to keep her voice even as she counters, “Maybe I just wanted to see how serious you were about going on a date.”

Rafe tilts his head, arching his eyebrow with his gaze never straying from her. Every time he seems to look at her, he looks as if she has his undivided attention. Those eyes, bluer than a summer afternoon sky, seem to really see her, and Isla is certain no one has ever looked at her the way Rafe does. Definitely none of her exes. “And what’s the verdict?” he asks.

She wants to say that he seems pretty serious, given that he left the movies early to come home and make their dinner himself. It’s already more effort than any of her exes have gone through, which is almost sad to say, but it’s so appreciated. So she keeps her eyes locked with his and says, “Night’s still young.”

The flash of anticipation in his eyes only thrills her more.

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tollingreminiscentbells · 3 months

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In case anyone out there is wondering what is happening with my creative projects, this is the state of things!

I am in the last third of the final main story fic in All changed. And I am going to be splitting it into a part 1 and part 2, releasing maybe 5 days apart. 17,000 words is the border between short fiction and a novella and it's going to surpass that. There's an organic place to break it at about the 11,000-word mark.

I do intend to write at least a couple of side stories in that AU. Some romance, some humor, some slice-of-life, all pretty light. This will be more of an ongoing thing, appearing as they happen.

But after I'm done with the current RadioApple, I'll be doing the next chapter of RoCS. I'm actually reevaluating a plot point to decide if I still want to pursue it. It's nothing dramatic that would change the story overall, but it is a decision I'm sitting with for a minute.

And then I am going to start writing the RadioApple Southern Gothic AU. I'm calling it A Momentary Radiance, which comes from a piece of stage direction in The Glass Menagerie (Laura in scene 6 is described as being given "a momentary radiance, not actual, not lasting"). The Glass Menagerie is a memory play, not a Southern Gothic, but it is Tennessee Williams. Close enough.

What I have not decided is whether I want to write all of A Momentary Radiance before I release any of it. It will be chaptered, more of a traditional novel, but I might try out writing the whole thing first and then serializing the release. We'll see if that ends up being what happens in reality!

#fic progress #revolution of configured stars #all changed changed utterly #a momentary radiance #my fics

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vytels · 8 months

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I wanted to make a little WIP progress update for anyone interested, I know I have three ongoing projects right now and a few shorter one!! I’m going to put this in the list of priority, based on length/desire to write/etc.

So here’s the list for anyone wondering:

1. Coday Fic - (time travel omegaverse codywan) - I’m a day late!! Ahh!! I know I’m going to get this finished late though.

2. Unbreakable Heart - (time travel, Knight Anakin raises baby Leia) - literally only a 3 chapter fic, so I’m hoping to finish it up quickly and move onto other works.

3. Commander Swap & Parallels Sequel - (Fox & Cody switch bodies - time travel Dinluke codywan au) - these are both equally important to me and SUPER long, so I’m taking as much time for them as possible

4. Pompeii AU - (codywan au) - once I’m done with Commander Swap and the Parallel’s Sequel, I’m diving into this… 👀

5. Rex Raises Luke AU - got lots to add to this one haha

6. Other random ideas - (including: Dinluke Bones AU, Jaster Mereel AU, Mulan Dinluke AU, soulmate Dinluke, soulmate codywan, codywan raising Luke, Mando!Luke au, etc) - these all need fleshing out honestly, some will not come to fruition and some might. It’s going to be awhile before we see where they fall.

#star wars #clone wars #commander cody #codywan #clone commander cody #luke skywalker #obi wan kenobi #dinluke #the mandalorian #din djarin #leia organa #anakin skywalker

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anaxandria-writes · 1 year

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20 questions for fic writers!

Thanks for the tag @lumosatnight [see here]!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Technically 50 (I think) because one of them is in an anonymous collection so AO3 is telling me 49. I’m considering putting some more earlier works as anonymous so that number might change soon.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

245,593… but I haven’t written at least 100k of that because they’re collabs where I did art (such as WLW Big Bang 2022).

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling (44)

Teen Wolf (3)

Marvel (3)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Three Days, Three Perspectives [Drarry, E, 6.5k]

An Expensive Courtship [Drarry, E, 10.9k]

Petrichor [Steter, T, 2.5k]

Snapshots of a Pregnancy [Drarry, T, 3.8k]

🙀 ➡ 😻 ➡ 😽 [Stony, T, 5.2k]

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I’m terrible about doing this, so I’m very sporadic about it, but every comment means so much to me! I just see it and if I don’t respond immediately, they just pile up and then I never get to it? 100% getting better at replying with my ongoing WIP, What Large Hands You Have (The Better to Embrace You With) [Steter, M, 14.7k so far], since I’m posting as I write and the encouragement means SO much!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Half Past One [Drarry, M, 2.5k] which was a horror fic (my one and only one) that I wrote for a Wheel of Drarry mini exchange. There’s MCD. And gore.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I almost never not write happy endings, BUT I’m going to go with Pinocchio [Neville/Harry, E, 3.9k] because it’s crack-y, fun, and Harry gets off a ton of times. (Mostly unintentionally).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I’ve had a couple rude-ish comments? Someone said that it would be better if it were longer, which was kind of ??? It was one of my first works and the mods reached out to me about it and they were super supportive and kind. (This is also the fic that is now anonymous, for unrelated reasons.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I’ve written some PWPs. A little of everything, really… and a fair number of my longer works include some sex scenes. I probably read more kinky content than I write (beyond the watersports fics because apparently I have multiple?), but yeah. Pro-smut here.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope. I’ve read a few, but it’s mostly not my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes! And I only found out because the person didn’t realize that it was stealing to repost on Wattpad and then apologized and asked how I felt about it…

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

My tango fic, The Cabeceo [Drarry, E, 1.9k], was translated into Spanish by @stargazing-enby last year for HD Owl Post. Which was such an amazing and wonderful gift to receive, especially because *tango*. I definitely feel like I’ve grown a lot as a writer since I first wrote it, but it’s very near and dear to me and having a translation (which I can read!) even more so. If it gives anyone any ideas… I can read Portuguese and Spanish!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Co-written? No. I’ve done art for various people before and participated in several big bangs/reverse big bangs as both an author and an artist. (ETA: 100% have co-written multiple fics no idea how I forgot those when I first answered)

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Flintwood. (And yes, I’ve had full on spreads in my journal dedicated to Flintwood.) Don’t ask me why, but those are my athletic rivals to lovers absolute hands down favorite. For Teen Wolf, I started in Steter (so it remains my #1) and one of my all-time top comfort reads is a Steter fic, This Time Around by Green (and someone else who no longer is associated with the work), which I received a bound copy of last year as part of the Renegade Bookbinding Exchange.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

“Green Glows and Ginger Greens” is a Flintwood WIP that I have 20k written of, edited and posted chapter one and it’s been… 2 years. I hope to get back to it (and my other unposted Flintwood hanahaki I’ve been talking about for about as long), but it’s just… not happened.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Idea generation, maybe? I think I tend to be really good at coming up with ideas and starting writing projects that have the potential to be really interesting. I love kind of crack-y ideas, and I’ve been trying to be better at actually delving into those instead of going “this is too weird, no one will read it.” (Example: I wrote a fic from a bathroom’s POV and it still makes me laugh.)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I tend to come up with ideas that spiral out of control, but I’m terrible at finishing things so I procrastinate and then it gets rushed and not as strong as it could be. Also not using betas that often because of said procrastination. And feeling awkward about it because I never leave enough time for editing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I love it, especially when it’s a language I speak and am like “Yes! This adds some cultural context”, etc. But also, such an important thing to get people to double check that before just throwing it in.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Back when I was a wee bb in high school? Either Protector of the Small or Harry Potter. As an adult? Also Harry Potter.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Completed on AO3? Herbology_Neville and DragonKeeperCW [Neville/Charlie, E, 11k] which was the fic I worked on whenever I was procrastinating on other fics. I’ve always wanted to go back to that universe and just haven’t had a chance, but… Neville and Charlie are adorable and I love them. I’m also loving the fic I’m posting now, as mentioned it’s What Large Hands You Have (The Better To Embrace You With), which was for Steter Bang because it really is reflective a lot of me as a person. Otherwise, I really loved the Green Glows/Snuggling, Smoothies, and Sons-in-Law universe (just need to finish both of those…)

Tagging (i never know who to tag!): @sugareey-makes-stuff (again, even though I know you were already tagged), @drwhoisginnyholmes, @makeitp1nk

#Tag game #asked and answered #ok I’m going to go hide out again because I feel weird talking about my own writing #I’m just an anxious and self-conscious bean

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vivilove-jonsa · 2 years

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2022 end-of-year fic review ✨

thanks to the wonderful @chispas-and-broken-bindings for tagging me! I know I've dropped out on fic writing this past 11 months but I was tagged and want to play :)

what's your ao3 account?

Vivilove

2. how many words did you write in total in 2022?

roughly 55k on ao3 (all but 900 of that was in January)

roughly 335k in original works (from February through December)

3. how many fics did you publish in 2022 // multi-chapter vs. one-shots?

three total - 2 multi-chapter (one was updates to an ongoing story) v 1 one-shot which I totally blame Christopher Catesby Harington and his sequel news for!

4. what was your longest-fic // shortest fic?

The one I wrote the most words on in 2022 was You Give Me Goosebumps. Started in early January and had it finished by month's end and it clocked in around 44k words. The shortest was We'll Say Hello Again at 900 words (again, I blame Kit)

5. what was your most popular // least popular?

The Farmer's Wife has by far the most kudos, subs, comments and bookmarks. I guess the one shot was least popular but I really appreciated all the lovely folks who popped into the comments to say hello when I posted it <3

6. what fic didn't perform as well as you thought it would?

I was happy with the response to all of them.

7. what fic performed way better than you thought it would?

Honestly, it became hard for me to predict the fandom's reaction to my stuff by the time I decided I needed a change. I was satisfied by how these three fics performed. I do remember having the most fun with the commenters on Goosebumps trying to solve the mystery :)

8. what was your favorite fic you wrote in 2022?

Goosebumps was the most fun to write as fics go but I've loved the books I've written since then more.

9. what was your favorite fic that somebody else wrote in 2022?

Now, this is why I really wanted to do this!! I'm totally cheating and talking about multiple fics. Sue me. I'm not reading nearly as much fic anymore but I love an excuse to talk about the ones I adored. So, in no particular order, my faves from last year were:

Take me out and Lounge act by @cellsshapedlikestars I'm picking on her but I loved both of these and also help me out of the shape I'm in which finished in '22 as well :)

Reach out with both hands by @thewolvescalledmehome Oof, I always love her wounded Jon.

And finally, everything by @kittykatknits !! I am so, so happy she returned to posting Jonsa this past year but want to give a extra loud shoutout to Race Car Driver Jon and the Most Awesome Sansa Ever in He's Going the Distance !!

(I have a thing for Sports Jon apparently with race car, football and baseball fics listed.)

10. tag your friends so they can play as well!

Tagging @kittykatknits @cellsshapedlikestars @thewolvescalledmehome @winterrose527 and @woodswit and anyone else who wants to do this.

#tag games #fic writing #end of year review #jonsa fic

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inevitably-johnlocked · 2 years

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HELLO!! :)

I'm currently fixated on this dorky genius that has 12 phds with polydactyly, can you believe it! 6 working fingers on both hands!!....he's so babygirl omg AKASKSKHDJxD

Anyways- this current brainrot made me remember a lovely little ongoing Sherlock Au of the show the aforementioned genius of my affection is from- (it's gravity falls)

The au is called "Reichenbach Falls" 🫶 and I love it to bits (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)♡ this ain't an ask but more so a little rec for anyone interested. I'd love to shed even more light onto this wonderful creation !! It deserves love with how beautifully it's written and thought out. AKDHSK THE MYSTERY TRIO (SHERLOCK, JOHN, IRENE) INSTEAD OF JUST THE MYSTERY TWINS-. It's surrounded by many mysteries just like GF but has its own Sherlockian flair to it, so what's not to love?? B^D

((Plus if anyone is/was a fan of the whole superwholock thing then boi do I have a fic for ya!!))

Ps. Sherlock and Irene are siblings in this and to top it off it is Johnlock

Hey Nonny!

Ah! I believe this is the series you're referencing? It's the only Gravity Falls AU fic I know of:

Reichenbach Falls by VeeTheRee (M, 536,133+ w., 101/303 Ch. || WiP || Gravity Falls / Multifandom AU || Alternate First Meeting, Gay Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Unilock, Summer Romance/Love, Fluff, Insecure Sherlock, Villain Mary, First Kiss, Slow Burn, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Canadian John, French Canadian Lestrade, Insecure Sherlock, Mystery, Domestic Fluff, Developing Relationship Summer Love, Light Angst, BAMF! John, Case Fic) – Two Canadians, two Brits studying in Canada, and an upkeeper walk into a Mystery Shack…. and live there. Summer holidays are here, and the step-siblings, Irene Adler and Sherlock Holmes, find themselves in a boring town called Reichenbach Falls, Oregon, USA. It isn’t as boring as it seems, however, once Sherlock stumbles upon a mystery journal, and the author is unknown. The journal contains ciphers, a strange colour wheel, and information about magical creatures that are said to be looming in the Northwestern forests. With mysteries to solve in hand, he and Irene set out to get to the roots of the town, and the abrupt disappearance of the author of the journal. But they’re not alone - John Watson, quite the handsome nephew of the Mystery Shack owner Greg Lestrade, is on their side to help out, plus mess with Sherlock’s feelings, in a good way. Shenanigans, romance, fun, danger, and deductions ensue. Oh, and there’s also occasional SuperWhoLock and two dorky Winchester brothers to spark up the action later on. Part 1 of the Reichenbach Falls series

-----

It hasn't been updated in awhile but it's a half a million words long, and I've heard NOTHING but good things about it. I'm happy that you brought it up so I can promote it again! <3

#steph replies #gravity falls au #johnlock fic recs #signal boost

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starrybouquet · 2 years

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I posted 3,100 times in 2022

129 posts created (4%)

2,971 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@captaincarriekathryncoffee

@sunnysideeggers

@sententiousandbellicose

@mylittleredgirl

@i-am-a-stupid-robot

I tagged 2,384 of my posts in 2022

Only 23% of my posts had no tags

#trek - 547 posts

#stargate - 465 posts

#sg1 - 450 posts

#sam x jack - 174 posts

#bridgerton - 141 posts

#voy - 141 posts

#tos - 108 posts

#tng - 108 posts

#fanbinding - 90 posts

#snw - 82 posts

Longest Tag: 125 characters

#anyway someone once said that chris judge makes the rest of the cast just look...small...when all the guys are taller than 6'

My Top Posts in 2022:

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by the amazing @i-am-a-stupid-robot - thank you!!

Favorite Color: Blue! Any shade but baby blue, really.

Currently Reading: Uhh I think now is the time to announce to the fandom world that I've fallen into a horrible, full-on Regency romance novel obsession. I swear I've read probably 10 of them in the past week. And then I went and read fanfic. It's INSANE. But somehow I find it hilarious and I can skim parts so I don't need to pay attention all the time, and it's giving me fic ideas, so no complaints I guess? Just hoping it doesn't last too long?

Last Song: Right Hand Man, Something Rotten

Last Series: NCIS (2003)

Last Movie: Honestly not sure. I don't watch too many movies somehow

Sweet, Savory, or Spicy: Sweet, but you can win me over with potato chips too

Currently Working On: An NCIS AU fic that makes me giggle constantly, and the Sam/Jack SG1 WIPs that are always ongoing.

Tagging @sententiousandbellicose @sunnysideeggers @captaincarriekathryncoffee @spacey-iris @agentkalgibbs @carothepoet @mylittleredgirl (no pressure, ofc) and anyone else who wants to play!

57 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

Happy 25th anniversary to Stargate SG-1

I have nothing to offer in the vein of fanfic or gifs today. I can only say, well, thank you. For your hope, your humor, your humanity. For catalyzing such a wonderful fandom. And thank you especially, especially, especially for creating my team: Jack, Sam, Teal'c, Daniel. I'll always love you for that. No matter what. 💙💙💙

60 notes - Posted July 27, 2022

Are there bredlik poems out there for Stargate?

I can’t believe I’ve never thought of this before.

I need to have them

98 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

#an otp that can do both for @mysg1spacemonkey ft. Sam/Jack

215 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

best stargate quotes

“Is there any chance you can get the Russians to give us their DHD?”

“Not without giving back Alaska.”

224 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#Lmao #I can't believe I made those gifs this year

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sirowsky · 2 years

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A Little Menace 4

I have two ongoing fics that are being wholly ignored because of this adorably cute little story, that simply will not leave me be, so I'm just gonna keep going until this is done, kay? More steam, and more evil mommy backstory here.

Rating: Mature 18+ONLY Warnings: ornithophobia (fear of birds), cursing, yearning, some light smut, FUBAR-mom, modern!din, din djarin x female reader, no use of y/n, no description of reader. Human boy Grogu. Word Count: 2120 Author’s Masterlist

Link to Part 1 Link to Part 2 Link to Part 3 Link to Part 5

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An insistent noise pulls you up from deep sleep and you confusedly fumble around under the duvet, until you’ve woken up enough to orient which part of your body is where and manage to pick up your phone from the nightstand. But it’s not your alarm that’s making all that racket. It's someone at your door.

“What the fuck…?” you grumble, looking at the clock and date on the device.

It’s not even 8am on a Saturday, and you fell asleep late since it took two releases for your body to remember that it was tired enough to need sleep, after that impromptu make-out session last night had left you wired. But the knocking isn’t going away, so you drag yourself out of bed and pull on your deep blue satin robe, not even bothering to check yourself in the mirror before you push the door open. Because your intention is to merely scream at whoever the hell is out there, to go foraging for some god damned manners.

But all words die on your tongue as you’re met by an enthusiastic 6-year-old, throwing himself around your waist with the biggest grin on his face. And behind him, the apologetic eyes of his father, trying and failing to conceal how his gaze rakes over your undressed form, from your bare legs to the lack of underwear, made embarrassingly obvious by the sudden perkiness of your nipples.

“Uh, sorry. He’s been up since 6am nagging about coming over here, and… well, it wasn’t as though I was opposed to the idea to begin with.” he explains, looking a little sheepish while still trying not to stare at your curves.

“I see. Well, I’m up now so you might as well come in.” you croak, trying to wake your throat up. “But I need coffee before playtime. Lots of it…”

Grogu lets go of you and runs into the apartment, surprising you by not heading straight for the LEGO, and instead going to the balcony to look at the little birds that are already working hard. Din follows you inside as you keep an eye on the boy, but decide not to disturb him, when he’s taking such a positive initiative by himself. You don’t hear the door close behind you, nor sense the broad expanse of his chest as Din sneaks up behind you and steals a kiss of your neck, sending shivers from the base of your skull down to your toes.

“I missed you.” he whispers, but keeps his hands off you, which is good because otherwise you don’t know how you’ll react.

“I fell asleep thinking about you.” you confess, desperately wanting to lean back into him, but knowing it won’t end well.

He doesn’t have your restraint it seems, though. Because suddenly his hands are on your hips, searing hot through the thin fabric, pulling you back until you’re flush against him and softly dragging the tip of his nose along the bottom of your ear. Even though he doesn’t make a sound, you can tell that he’s struggling, and it makes you wonder if perhaps he hasn’t really been with anyone since Grogu’s mother. Although you have no idea how long that might be.

“Sorry. Is that too much for you to know?” you ask, genuinely trying to figure out where the line between casually flirty and too obviously craving, is.

He sucks in a jagged breath and when he speaks next, his voice is rough and hot against your neck, and his hands grip you just a little firmer, as if he’s trying to keep them from wandering.

“If what I’ve seen and felt from you is accurate, then you did more than just think about me. And considering how badly I want you… yes, that might be a little too much.”

You gulp. That’s all you can do, because fuck, fuck, FUCK!! Mercifully, the kid demands your attention then, calling for you to come and tell him about a bird he doesn’t recognize, and you pry yourself out of Din’s hands and go to help him, trying to ignore the slick that’s threatening to start dripping down your bare thighs.

“What’cha got, birdman?” you say, feeling yourself fall into the teacher-role you’ve adapted to using whenever he’s there, and for a moment you wonder just when that happened. Because you’ve never been much for teaching.

He points to a small and pale bird, light brown along its sides and white towards the head, but with a batman-like black face-paint, and you gasp in surprise.

“That’s a Eurasian penduline tit. It’s extremely rare here, I’ve never seen one in real life before!” you almost squeal, while simultaneously trying to keep still and get a good look at it before it leaves.

He either understands the significance, or just mirrors you, because the boy stands perfectly still as you both watch the little creature eat his fill and then fly off.

“Thank you, Grogu.” you say, turning to look at him. “If you hadn’t come over today, I might never have seen that.”

He smiles at you, before pointing to the doorhandle, silently asking you to open it, so you do, and he walks out onto the balcony and sits down in one of your garden-chairs even though you don’t join him.

“Hey. You gonna be okay out here on your own? Cause I need some breakfast before I can join you.” you ask, but he just nods and keeps watching. “Okay, but if you get scared, let me know or come and get me.”

He nods again, looking perfectly at ease, although he’s far enough from the walls not to see the bigger birds on the ground, so he might still get startled if one of them flies by too close to the windows. You head back towards the kitchen, from where you can see the balcony and the feeder, as well as the ground around it, which is empty at the moment. The kitchen isn’t, though.

Din already has your coffee brewing and is rummaging through your cabinets for mugs when you walk in. He looks unsure at first, but when you smile at seeing him making himself at home, he relaxes and hands you one of the mugs.

“Grogu’s progress is amazing. I can’t believe it was just three days ago that he barely even dared to step out on the balcony.” you prattle on while picking things out of the fridge and pantry to make toast. “And now he’s already sitting out there alone and quite comfortably.”

“It’s all thanks to you.” Din proclaims softly, pouring the finished brew into your mugs and taking a seat at the table. “And I don’t just mean your willingness to work with him rather than reprimand him. He’s really taken to you.”

“This is gonna sound a little weird, but I feel like he’s such an easy kid to like.” you start, and see his eyebrows climb in surprise.

“That’s not what most people think.” His voice holds traces of sadness, probably from failed attempts to help his son make friends before, and it stings your heart.

“Not that I’ve spent loads of time with kids before, but that’s largely because I’ve found most kids to be kinda obnoxious. Like, my cousin’s two girls. They’re little monsters, for lack of a better description. Seriously. But Grogu… he’s so easy to read, perhaps even more so because he doesn’t talk that much. I feel like I understand everything that he’s thinking. I don’t know, maybe we’re somehow kindred spirits.” you finish with a smile and a little shrug, taking your seat as you’re done preparing your toast.

Din sits quietly for a while, sipping his coffee and alternating between peering outside at his son, and stealing glances at you, reminding you that you still haven’t gotten dressed. But his mood is different now. He’s calm and still a bit sad, and you’re hoping that he’s gonna feel comfortable enough to maybe share some things with you about his life, so you don’t attempt to start up conversation again. Had you known what he was about to tell you, you might’ve tried to lighten the mood first.

“His mother… Kathryn… we were co-workers back when I was working as a contractor at her dad’s construction company. She’s a designer and to some extent she was my superior, although not on paper.” he suddenly starts, and you find yourself hanging on his every word but afraid to ask questions or speak at all, in case it makes him close up again.

“We always had this kinda rough relationship. Not enemies, but absolutely not friends either. I don’t think she understands the concept, to be honest. But somehow, we worked really well together, perhaps because we were always second-guessing each other and double checking everything the other one did, looking for faults or flaws to tease each other about.”

He’s trying to keep his tone light, you can tell, but there’s too much pain and darkness associated with the memories, that he doesn’t come close to succeeding, and you start to feel like this story might be worse than anything you’ve ever heard. Your breakfast is forgotten as you sit frozen, absorbing every detail of the man before you.

“One night, while working on a big project away from home, we ended up drinking too much and sharing a bed at the hotel where we were staying. It wasn’t a pleasurable thing, exactly. More like, just another way of getting at each other’s throats. But it had consequences. And the only reason she didn’t abort, was because her father is deeply religious and would’ve killed her if she had. Curiously though, he had no qualms about her treating him like a plague from the moment he was born.”

His voice breaks at that, and he dips his head into his hand, so he doesn’t notice the tears that are spilling down your cheeks. Your eyes are drawn to the sweet little boy on your balcony, as pain rips through you at the thought that anyone, much less a mother, could treat a child like that.

“It was clear from the start that she wasn’t interested in building a life together, so we never even tried. She had him at her house, and I’d visit every day, and that was the only time he received any love or real attention. So, after just five months, I told her that I was gonna take him and she never even tried to have a conversation about it. She just gave me his things and all but shoved me out the door.” he says, and there’s a hint of irritation in his voice now.

“But she never bothered to sign away her maternal rights to him, so she still gets contacted about insurances and school-related things, and every time that happens, she calls me and acts like it’s my fault and that I have to make sure it stops happening and it just…” he sighs, and it sounds so unbearably heavy, “…it just hurts.”

He’s crying now too, and it’s too much. He’s sitting with one elbow resting on the table, his head still leaned against his open palm, and the rest of him angled alongside it, rather than having his legs underneath it. So, you get up from your seat and move to stand between his legs, wrapping your arms around his head and pulling him into your abdomen.

Without pause or hesitation, he accepts your embrace and instantly asks for more, putting his hands on your back and pulling you down into his lap so he can really hold you. That puts his head in line with your breasts, and he shamelessly nestles his face into the soft skin of your bosom, that’s accessible through the slit of your robe.

But he’s not looking for passion this time, just comfort, and if he finds that with you, then you’ll happily let him have it for as long as it takes for the sadness to fade away. Because it sounds like he’s been dealing with this more or less all alone for almost six years, and you want him to know that it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. That you want to be there for him, whether he needs to talk or cry or just sit quietly in the company of another grownup.

You hope that he feels it in the warmth of your touch, the secure firmness of your arms around him, the carefully whispered promise that spills from your lips.

“It’s okay to hurt with me. I won’t run away or kick you out. You’re safe here, Din.”

–=¤=–=¤=–=¤=–=¤=–=¤=–=¤=–

Thank you for reading, and feel free to criticize, I’m always looking to learn and grow as a writer.

@deadhumourist @idreamofboobear @tanzthompson @winter-fox-queen @tiffanyleen @shsoba05 @toomanystoriessolittletime @nolanell @myfavpedrothings @harriedandharassed @bruxasolta @tintinn16 @pedrostories @littlemisspascal @sj-draws00 @gallowsjoker @spishsstuff @little-mrs-morales @bilibiche

#din djarin fanfiction #modern!au #din djarin x female reader #din djarin x you #din and grogu fanfiction #din x reader #the mandalorian fanfic #the mandalorian x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

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e-prentiss · 3 years

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HOTCHNISS FIC RECS (no one asked for)

and their short plot descriptions. Said description is solely based on what I can remember of the story and mostly just my reactions. I’m sure the authors provided a better summary so go read that instead.

Intolerable Me, Despicable You by Blythechild

Slowburn, enemies to lovers Hotchniss. This fic basically screams angst.

Recovery Series by Kavi Leighanna

Series order: Endgame, Rise and Forward

Post s6 - Lauren arc. This could have been season 7 but CM writers really decided to rob us of Hotchniss. Anyway, this one is a good read. Kind of Emily centric but also just pure Hotchniss goodness.

Bonus: kind of team fic as well since it explores their relationship with Emily after the whole she faked her death thing.

Reckoning by Tigereye77

Post s6. Lauren arc (we love Lauren arc fics. Best arc in the whole series if you ask me). Badass Prentiss, Emily centric, protective Hotch. Again, this could have been s7 but we were robbed.

Small Favors by Doodle19

Emily centric. Mommy Emily! + slowburn hotchniss all rolled into one. Also, Ambassador Prentiss really be redeeming herself in this fic.

Untold Truths by Doodle19

Hotchniss secret child. Mom Emily. Slowburn, angsty Hotchniss. Really, you’ll fall in love with Emily’s child here you wouldn’t stop reading it.

Family Dynamics by DreamGoddesses’92

Sequel: Days Go By

Jack + Emily goodness. After Foyet arc. Basically, how season 5 should have been.

Glittering Mica Series by SequinSmile

Post S15. Bawled my eyes out after reading this series. Probably my favorite Hotchniss fic. Coffees and slow dances will never be the same again after reading this.

Whatever Tomorrow Brings by SequinSmile

Established/Married Hotchniss. AU where Haley and Hotch never got married. Instead she left him, he met Emily and married her instead. But here comes the kicker, Jack still exists!

A sequel entitled, If Tomorrow Starts Without You, is still ongoing.

Midnight Blue Velvet by SSA_Sparks

Established Hotchniss. Pure fluff. Hotch being a good boyfriend and seriously making me want to have a Hotch of my own.

Goddess of the Hunt and the Never Do Again List by FotobridgeT2

Emily centric. Team dynamics and Hotch lowkey pining over Emily.

Some Chicken Soup, a Box of Tissues and Little TLC by Sienna27

Established Hotchniss. Sick fic. Hotch taking care of sick Emily and basically being the best boyfriend anyone could ask for.

Falling in Love with a Girl by Sienna27

You know those platonic friendships — having that connection with someone and then said friendship blossoms into so much more. Platonic friendship turns into platonic soulmates to actual endgame!! If you love that trope, well this fic is for you. Oh and Hotch getting all alpha male and protective of Emily, then getting all soft and calling her sweetheart. I mean —

Behind the Scene Series by Luli27

Season 5 + Foyet arc and how Hotchniss was so dating and developing during that whole season (and yes you can’t change my mind).

Part 1: All She Could Do

Part 2: Break Me Out

Part 3: Coming Out to the Other Side

Part 4: Drinks and Conversation

Part 5: Evaluations, Explanations and Expectations

Part 6: First Obstacle

Part 7: Gossip at 3,000 Feet

Part 8: Hunted Hotch

Part 9: Interlude’s End

Part 10: Journey’s New Beginning

Jake and Amy by Microwavebubbles

B99 parallel and an honest to god fluff goodness.

I Was Enchanted to Meet You by Purpleplasticpurse

Again, if fluff is your cup of tea, then this one is for you.

The Wonder of You by by PrentissInRed

Forgot the premise but set around s7. One of the first fics I’ve read.

Case fics:

If you are looking for a good case fic with a side of Hotchniss (bonus: the whole team is included!) then this trilogy by Sarramaks is the one.

Calverville Point, South Dakota

Humanity

When the Blue of the Night

NCIS x Criminal Minds crossover:

A Rose by Any Other Name by Tigereye77

Set after Demonology. NCIS team dynamics + Emily Prentiss goodness + 2 team leaders butting heads over Emily Prentiss — need I say more? Or Gibbs being Gibbs and Hotch trying to repress his feelings for Emily, therefore messing everything up when really he should just man up and tell the woman.

Perfect by Tigereye77

Unfinished sequel but still just as good.

Christmas fics:

Hurry Down the Chimney Tonight by Kavi Leighanna

Christmas goodness. Fluffy/domestic Hotchniss with a dash of our favorite little g-man, Jack Hotchner.

His Christmas Wish by Kavi Leighanna

Another Christmas fic. Forgot the whole premise but this one is also just as good as the other Christmas fic written by the same writer. It made me feel all tingly and soft. Again, pure Hotchniss fluff with a sprinkle of Jack.

Seriously though, if you feel like starting your holidays early, scroll through Kavi Leighanna's page and get your Hotchniss holiday fix.

Honorary mention since this is staple Hotchniss fics:

We See No End, We Don’t Know How by Purpleplasticpurse

Casual Arrangement by Microwavebubbles

Ongoing fics:

How Far We’ll Go by likingandloving

Season 7. In this universe Beth does not exist and Emily is Hotch's training partner for the triathlon.

Someone You Love by Prentissinred

First Time’s Butterflies by SSA_Sparks

Brief Encounters by Microwavebubbles

#hotchniss #criminal minds #bau #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #hotch #prentiss #paget brewster #thomas gibson

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blue-pastel-cat · 3 years

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Xiaobedo Fanfic Recommendation

Welcome to my personal “if you are new to xiaobedo peeps please read these” list. As said before this is my personal list so please feel free to reblog/comment/hit me for not including any gem here. I might miss a lot of them because I am drunk or blind. (mostly have them on my to read and then forgot as I am being assault by real life shit).

I would like to say first that so far there are 150+ Xiaobedo fics on Ao3. I can’t review all of them but I can say that I have read a majority of them. Most of them are just pure love and I would like nothing more than a thousands thank you for all the fic writers who spent their free time writting these gems for us to read for free. But these...these takes the cake as it finds a special landing spot in my heart that I would just thrust them into someone’s hand if they say “I am new to this ship can you recommend me?”

1. Orange dust by bobamilkteas (Wes)

In which Xiao learns to open himself up to the world a little more after the collapse of Rex lapis's contracts but it was not always easy for a soul doomed to eternal damnation. Meanwhile, Albedo liked to tempt fate where the extraordinary are concerned.

If only the traveler's comrades are made of saner bunch.

Comment: Long ago when I like both Albedo and Xiao as a character, I was wondering hmmm....will anyone actually even write about them lmao they never met each other. I am surprise to see this one as the 3rd fic in the whole 3 Xiaobedo fic on Ao3 (yeah back when there’s literally only 3 fic for this couple). I was like I’ll read it for the curiosity, I’ll probably won’t ship them. And that people is how I put my clown make up on my face upon finishing reading it. This ONE fic alone convert me into a devotee of Xiaobedo. Please consider joining me in this circus if you want to know what is Xiaobedo. I would put this as the first of my “Big 3″

Orange Dust also come with its compliation of short stories over the course of the game and a big sequel to it. Please also consider reading ALL OF THEM.

2. Solar Wind by birdpriestess (Sparrow)

For the yaksha, his duty was his life, and his life was his duty. No human could ever hope to understand the eternal war he fought out of sight and in silence.

So why, then, did he feel that Albedo would understand?

---

Finding himself at death's door once more, Xiao is saved by a surprising person, setting off the unlikeliest of adventures.

Comment: Do you like crying? Do you like the feeling of getting your heart ripped into pieces as the author destroy your emotions over the end of each chapter as the story picked up the climax? Yeah, this one is for you masochists. The action, the characterisation, the drama THE EMOTIONS OH WOW. I kid you not that it was so good I read this while workinng when I am not suppose to me. Also, this fic has my favourite characterisation of Gold ever. I love that dramatic queen Mad Alchemist. AND DAIN. I LOVE DAIN IN THIS FIC. Our dearest Sparrow manage to toy with our feelings like how I bully ruin guard for big numbers lmao. This is the secound of “Big 3″ of my Xiaobedo list.

Again, just like Orange Dust, Solar Wind comes with its own compliation of short stories of what came after that. Please also consider reading ALL OF THEM.

3. Castle of Glass by AlchemicalStardust (Morgie)

A black shadow rises over Huaguang Stone Forest. Caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, Albedo flees the shaking ground and the crash of boulders tumbling form the sky. As the dust settles, Albedo finds a young man – an Adeptus – amidst the carnage. Despite the karmic agony ripping his body from the inside, Xiao’s only question is “How?” How did a human survive after witnessing his battle?

Comment: The last of the “Big 3″ of my Xiaobedo list. And it is still on going! Castle of Glass? More like I AM IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTIONS! Have you read a fic about 2 people yearning, longing, reaching out for each other so damn well that you just want to throw your phone in the air as they both had their impending doom coming down upon them? Yeah this is one of them. You will like want to be stuck in the moment they express how much they just yearn for each other’s love and care that you want to shake the author for what comes next. Like...everytime Morgie update I am expressing my gratitude at the end of the chapter by writing on Xiaobedo discord “MORGIE COME HERE AND LET ME BONK YOU WHY ARE YOU ENDING IT THERE”

trust me when you read you will def feel the same. With just Big 3 and their compliation alone that would give you like a LONG list of reading already LMAOOOOOOO

4. Find a place to call it home by yamajiroo

Our room, he said. Xiao’s brow twitches. Zhongli never said anything about this. But then again, perhaps he should anticipate this from the beginning...

Xiao looks over at Albedo, who is now tilting his head, his look as innocent as ever.

“Are you not okay with sharing a room?”

Comment: College AU for Xiaobedo! One thing that I love this is the slow burn and what made me LOVE LOVE LOVE this fic more is how cute Klee is in this fic. Their relationship in this one is very simple, but that simplicity highlight why their chemistry work. Xiao is someone who was just very gentle, who was largely misunderstood by his lonesome nature. Albedo was someone who like peace and quite in his introvert bubble. And how they respect that bubble that each other has actually made their relationship work. I love it when fic highlight this and this one captures it.

5. I Can't See Your Face From the Other Side of the Classroom by MissWeaver

When Albedo and Xiao unexpectedly start eating lunch together, they begin to find that they have more in common than anyone would have realized. They both struggle in their own ways with blossoming feelings, too many assignments, and annoying classmates as they navigate a relationship for the first time.

Comment: I’ll be honest, I usually hate high school au just because its so cliche. I don’t even watch and drama/anime surrounds high school student anymore LMAOOO (unless it’s very good). So if there’s an high school AU that I actually keep come back and read after a couple of chapters, it means that the cliche that I hate wasn’t there or barely was there at all. The pinning in this fic makes me want to bang their head together sometimes LMAOOO The tag wasn’t kidding when they said both Xiao and Albedo are bad at feelings. Also that’s a lot of heart broken caused by these two idiots XD

6. new world, same me, same bullshit by bobamilkteas (Wes)

At the belly of Dragonspine, Albedo lost control to the festering corruption that permeated his senses and watched, from the recesses of his mind, as his devoured body turned his allies into enemies. Before his rampage reached its climax, he is sealed in a crystalized confinement by the last hand of Reindottir, where he then reawakens centuries after, in a rebooted Teyvat.

Comment: Yeah I know it was list in Orange Dust but here me out. This sets out in an entirely different universe. And if you like Polyamory, this one has Zhongli joining the duo and I love it because I also love ZhongXiao with my life. Time Travel is my biggest kink. Especially when I am the person who love it when people explore Archon War era/ Alatus!Xiao. So this one hits double of my kink. Of course it is still on going and I will bully Wes whenever I can to see that new chapter. Albedo is a total fucking badass in this story and I completely agree from using him in Abyss so often. Everyone should write badass Albedo.

7. misplaced heart of mine by inkburn

“If you are ill, then you should be resting at home. In Mondstadt.” He emphasized Mondstadt with a pointed look in his direction.

“I assure you I won’t be troublesome, Adeptus Xiao,” Albedo said, “You’ll find I’m a rather low-maintenance traveler.”

“Travel,” Xiao scoffed, “without airstep?”

Albedo looked him up and down. “Are your legs just for decoration?”

(albedo is sent to liyue on mandatory vacation. xiao is his unfortunate bodyguard.)

Comment: Most of the time you will see Albedo and Xiao starting their relationship with one of them taking interest in another. But this one took another approach, they starting off by make them hating each other’s guts LMAOOOO and I live for every second of it. There’s only 1 chapter so far but wow it was SOOO GOOD. I am really really excited for next chapter and is waiting patiently ;w;

8. Blossom of Grace by birdpriestess

One day in Liyue Harbor, Albedo watches a street performance by an enigmatic dancer named Xiao. And he becomes completely obsessed.

Comment: Have you ever look at Xiao fight and thinking that he’s one of the most beautiful deadly thing ever? How it was like he was dancing around the battlefield? How about actual dancer Xiao being so absolutely beautiful and perfect and that slow burn of Albedo falling in love with that beauty with a touch of Modern AU and cute Ganyu as the Wing woman. Yes, Sparrow delivers yet again another beautiful slow burn and while it’s still ongoing it is worth the read.

9. i think we could make this work (could get used to this) by outspaced

“Xiao? What are you doing out here?”

“I—”

“It’s raining,” Albedo says, as if it isn’t obvious. “You could get struck by lightning.”

“What are you doing out here then?” Xiao does the only thing he knows how to do, he challenges Albedo. “It’s raining.”

Albedo just hums. “If I get struck by lightning, it’s for science.”

Comment: A short one-shot where I read the summary and went “This is it... this is their relationship.” I am sold immediately. Oh god Albedo why are you like this.

10. Ephemeral by criedprinz

“It’s not for your investigation, is it?” Aether asked mildly.

Albedo traced a finger around the sketchbook, considering the question. “No,” he admitted finally. “I... I just want to see them again.”

He opened the sketchbook to reveal the drawing he’d just finished. Aether nodded, clearly recognizing the sharp golden eyes.

“Xiao,” he said. “You were rescued by an adeptus.”

When a visit to Dragonspine goes horribly wrong, Albedo is rescued by an unknown stranger, wielding powers he's never heard of. Led on a search to find out who it is, he finds himself in the middle of an unforgettable encounter..

Comment: A really really well written one-shot that I love. The yearning oh godddd the yearning from Albedo side is just so so much that I have to put it here. (I think you can see the trend here lmao. I am a sucker for yearning). And the moment they get to meet each other again is just chef kiss. MWHAA

11. Idle Yaksha, Brilliant Yaksha by Pit0fTheEarth

Alatus didn’t have a lot of responsibilities to keep. He spent most of his days dancing across the sky and eating away all nightmares that plagued a person’s sleep.

But one fortunate encounter led to too many unfortunate ones, taking his carefree existence and plunging it in darkness. His wings, stripped from him. His gentle touch, replaced by an unforgiving grip of destruction.

There was a lot of blood on his hands. With each passing moment, it became harder for Alatus to recall the last time someone gently held him.

Comment: This is one of the ongoing fic where I am very very much excited on the take of Naberius. And the way the author portray Xiao when he’s still the innocent Alatus is just *clench fist*. Baby ;w; Baby why do you have to lose all that innocence. Also the fic has long LONG flashback to Xiao past and his relationship with Naberius. We are unwielding more what happened to both of them and why perhaps does this have to do with Albedo.

That’s it for now, might add more later! Thank you <3

#xiaobedo #tetsu likes to ramble #genshin impact

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theesteemedladydebourgh · 3 years

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2021 in review: fanfic writer edition

thank you @missgryffin for tagging me! the past year months (since i started writing fic in August) have been crazy and wonderful, and i can’t wait to dive into 2022!

i’m pretty sure everyone’s done this by now, but if anyone hasn’t, feel free to consider yourself tagged! 🥰

BY THE NUMBERS *as of 12/30/21

words written: 370,993

words published (AO3): 344,537

# of published one-shots: 2

# of completed multi-chaps: 2

# of one-shots in progress: 1

# of ongoing multi-chaps: 4

# of fic ideas waiting their turn: Oh...14

longest work: Jingle—Holy F*ck (130k+ words)

shortest work: The Last Sad Love Story Ever Told (6,410 words)

most chapters in a fic: 24 (Jingle—Holy F*ck)

highest # of kudos: 481 (Jingle—Holy F*ck)

highest # of hits: 15,454 (Jingle—Holy F*ck)

top 3 fics by kudos: Jingle—Holy F*ck, Good Old Fashioned Love Letters, When We Lost One Another

top 3 fics by hits: Jingle—Holy F*ck, Good Old Fashioned Love Letters, When We Lost One Another

BEHIND THE NUMBERS

most challenging fic to write: When We Lost One Another

fic that came easiest to write: The Tale of You & I

most true-to-the-outline fic: The Tale of You & I stuck exactly to its outline. my most well behaved child.

most unlike-its-outline fic: Jingle—Holy F*ck decided about 1/6 of the way through that it wanted to do something completely insane and i went along with it. (yes, it’s the sequel)

favorite reader freak-out: the fight scene in GOFLL 5, when everyone was screaming ‘James wtf are you doing???!!’

most controversial scene: not necessarily a scene, but basically jily’s entire 2008 breakup in JHF (so james)

hottest ask box topic of the year: people mad at 2008 JHF!James 😂

most loved OC: I think the only two true OCs I’ve written are Olivia and Roger from JHF, so by basis of least-hated...we’ll go Roger

most hated OC: Ms. Olivia Briar has several hit squads out on her currently 👀

favorite things about writing our heroes: getting to explore how these two fell in love. we know that they were in love and extremely compatible, but that’s about it, and it gives us so much creative freedom (and fun!) to explore all the ways it could’ve happened.

favorite villain to write: I’ve got to say, I do enjoy writing Olivia’s scenes even when they’re super angsty for Lily and James

favorite marauder to write: obviously the answer to this is James, because i (shockingly) love him to bits. if he’s out of the question since he’s 1/2 of jily, definitely Sirius. He’s just so easy to write with anyone, because he’s always got something to say

most i've cried while writing a scene: well, the most recently I’ve cried is the ending bit of JHF ch 20, but there’s a scene quite a ways on in my jily Normal People AU to love, softly that just made me sob like a baby while I was writing it.

most i've laughed while writing a scene: all of the GOFLL scenes with Trelawney 😂i had such a fun time writing her chaos.

smuttiest smut scene: JHF Ch 9 (the car scene 👀). I had a moment while writing it where i was just like...wow this is rated E. like, so E.

favorite jily kiss i wrote: ohhh. probably the first kiss from to love, softly. I love this line: “All I know is one second there I stand there, seventeen years old, wearing a yellow sundress and un-kissed by James Potter, and the next second I’ve kissed my best friend.”

hardest trope/thing to write: anything drawn out! which is why i’m so surprised that JHF was super drawn out and long, because normally i like to skip over the waiting to get to the good stuff 😂

easiest trope/thing to write: smut is very easy to write for me, as long as i’m not thinking about it. as soon as i start trying to focus, it just won’t come. i also find love declarations/falling in love so fun and sweet to write.

proudest fic moment: finishing GOFLL, because i’d never finished a fic before and that was huge for me! (also...that i successfully kept The First Time Divorcees Club a secret until the last chapter of JHF)

any fic regrets? i don’t tend to dwell on fics once they’ve been published, because i feel like they’re out in the world and people have read them and i can’t do anything, so best not to panic. i think i might’ve liked if I’d waited to post to love, softly until it was all written because it’s a fic that goes best in one flowing piece and this long break wasn’t in my plan

2021 fic habits to break: starting a million different things.

2022 fic habits to make: finish things before i post them! i'm very good at keeping to deadlines once i’ve set them—if I post that something will be coming out on x date or x time i will definitely do it, but it causes me a lot of stress and there was a point towards the middle of JHF where I was midway through exams and i felt so mentally and physically exhausted keeping up with the chapters 😅preferably i’d like to do less of that.

#jily #2021 year in review

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deaththesyd · 3 years

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To The Brink Of Confession: Chapter 1, "He's not ugly"

I'd like to blame @mytanuki-kun for one of their works inspiring this side project that is now in the way of my Kisame week progress. As frustrating as this is, I'm having fun with this one and I'm excited to write my first true multi-chapter fic, even if it doesn't fit with the rest of my works and their timeline.

Summary: At first, she had shrugged it off as him simply being worn out from all the social interaction, but if that was the case, why was he only avoiding her?

At first, she had let it slide. Being super friendly and interacting with people was draining after all, and being forced to live in close quarters with such a loud group was sure to take its toll on even the most extroverted people. His avoidance lasted the entire rest of his time spent in her world, but she didn’t worry. As usual, a month passed by before she herself was teleported away into the foreign world of Jutsu, violence, and ninja. She even shook off her doubts when instead of her usual escorts, she was picked up by Kakuzu and Hidan, being told that the others were all preoccupied with important missions, ones that she would only be a distraction from. Entertaining as she found the duo and their antics, she couldn’t exactly hide her disappointment from the silver-haired loudmouth she had grown to consider a friend.

“What’s with all the moping, huh?” He said loudly, stood in front of her, face lowered to look her directly in the eyes as she had been watching the ground as she walked. Blocking her path forward, she stopped to look up at him, forcing herself to push down her thoughts and play them off as nothing. Surprising as it may be, Hidan wasn’t entirely self-absorbed and happened to be pretty talented at sensing other's emotions, a skill that he very rarely made use of. Not that it was really all that hard to see that something was up with her. Always easy to read, an open book, she was the worst liar and easily the most sincere person he had met. He seriously couldn’t stand her mood lately, it was worried and upsetting. Mixed with Kakuzu’s ongoing anger at everything and everyone, the irritating emotions were mixing and giving Hidan a headache. There were only two ways he could think of to fix this, either piss off Kakuzu to relieve his built-up stress and risk an explosive and painful response, or play concerned friend and get the woman lagging behind them to return to her normal upbeat self. Contemplating both options, the least painful option seemed the best bet.

“It’s not nothing, I can tell, so don’t bother lying, you’re shit at it anyway,” he cut her off as she tried to reply.

She tried anyway. “Really though,” she said, smiling almost convincingly, “I’m just lost in thought, we’ve been walking all day, can you blame me for tuning out?” Waving him off, she sidestepped him to follow after Kakuzu, who had not stopped for them and was quickly leaving them behind.

Knowing that the likelihood of being separated from Kakuzu was high if they didn’t keep up with the old man, he didn’t hold her back but stayed by her side to press for a proper response. “I said not to fucking lie,” he spoke casually knowing that anything truly harsh would only shut her up further, “you’ve been like this ever since you got here, it’s not just you being tired of walking.”

Sighing, she replied, “Ok, you’re right that I’m not just tired, but it’s nothing, really. I just need to manage it by myself.” No longer lying was a step forward, but she kept her lips tight on whatever it was. She was stubborn, but Hidan was persistent.

“What’s with you being all shy all of a sudden? You’re always so fucking talkative no one but Fishface can get you to be quiet,” he complained, almost missing how she reacted at the mention of the tall swordsmen. He grinned, seemed like he had a hook. “Awe, is this about your little crush on the big guy? Did you ask him out and he chickened out?” He laughed cruelly.

It wasn’t much of a secret that she had feelings for Kisame, she wasn’t very good at hiding how he caught her eye, often spacing out while watching him train, and making any excuse to get his attention. Everyone at some point had noticed the flush to her face around him, or the fond look in her eyes as she looked up at him. To most, it wasn’t anything to focus on. Kakuzu and Sasori couldn’t care less about it, as long as she wasn’t being obnoxious, Itachi seemed to keep a careful watch over her and her interactions with his partner, his reasons were unknown to Hidan who couldn’t care less about the Uchiha. Deidara and Hidan made sure to poke fun and tease her at any opportunity, making sure to keep their taunts from the man of her affections, trying to draw out their entertainment as long as they could. After months of this, she had become accustomed to the mostly friendly jeering from the two and had begun to poke fun at herself as well. It seemed she had resigned herself to watching from afar and keeping her flirting to a level that was easily mistaken for friendly conversation by the oblivious man.

Years of being acquainted with Kisame had only given Hidan a surface-level knowledge of the man, but recently he had noticed just how unconfident truly was of his looks, something he of course zeroed in on immediately. 6 foot whatever and hulking over even Kakuzu, it was hilarious to him that the member of the legendary Swordsmen of the Mist was both self-conscious over his fishy appearance, and his years of training as a ninja had not taught him to notice the obvious signs that a woman was into him. How anyone could be so unaware, yet so skilled was beyond him.

Her face saddened at his words, her brow furrowing, and her eyes cast themselves to the ground again. “I haven’t said anything, but I think he might have caught on,” she said quietly.

Despite her clearly upset confession, he grinned. “Way to go! Fishface finally figured out how to see above water, wondered if his brain was just waterlogged,” he snickered, excited that he could finally openly pick on him over the subject, but she didn’t smile and remind him to be nice like she normally did when he made digs at the sharkman. Clearly not a good sign then.

“I think he’s avoiding me,” she said, looking defeatedly at her shuffling feet. Now that made no sense.

Not long after it was clear to everyone but Kisame that she had an attraction to the tall man, it became more and more obvious that it was reciprocated. As much as she stared at him, he stared at her. Less openly, probably why it had taken everyone a while longer to see it, but it was well known that the two were complete idiots that had no clue the other was just as interested as they were. Part of Hidan had wanted to tell them immediately, embarrass them and make a scene out of it all, but another part of him had held onto their frustrations and fed off of it as a much more drawn-out entertainment source. Deidara was in on it too, saying that as much as he wanted to set off an explosive show by forcing their feelings out into the open, he also wanted there to be a build-up. In the meantime, they got to tease their fishy accomplice as much as they could get away with without pissing him off and alerting the other half of the pining duo. The fact that Kisame was avoiding her after finding out she felt the same was not what anyone had expected. For once in his life, Hidan was pissed at the drama of it. He would not admit that he was actually looking forward to the two becoming a couple.

“Bet he’s just scared that someone thinks his ugly mug is hot and is worried for your sanity,” he laughed. Her hand smacked him halfheartedly.

“He’s not ugly.” She said sternly, “Although with how forward I’ve been, he may have been creeped out,” she smiled, but there was a twinge of pain on her face that Hidan couldn’t help but notice. It pissed him off, his whole religion was about inflicting pain and death for his God, but seeing her genuinely upset gave him a feeling of frustration on her behalf.

“There’s no way he’s creeped out by your creepy staring,” he found himself attempting to reassure her, feeling as though he was betraying his and Deidara’s whole scheme. “He’s clearly just as much a creepy stalker as you are.”

Unsure that she had heard him correctly, she looked up to see Hidan avoiding eye contact, looking off the side of the road, ignoring her reaction purposely. “I don’t see how he’s the stalker,” she laughed humorlessly, “When he’s the one avoiding me.”

“Of course you don’t, you’re just as fucking blind as he is,” he muttered. Her sudden giggle made him look at her in suspicion. “The hell’s so funny?”

She brought a hand to try and stifle her laughter before she spoke, “What’s got you all grumpy now? Upset someones not crushing back on you?” She teased, eyes darting to look at the silent man trudging forward ahead of them, then back at Hidan.

The glare he shot her only made her giggles slightly louder. “What the fuck are you gettin’ at?” He spat, daring her to continue.

Humming whimsically, she spoke, “I just think that maybe you’re projecting some of your own frustrations onto someone else.”

He should have chosen to piss off Kakuzu. She may have been the lesser of two evils at a first glance, but the ability she had to force him into subjects he would rather avoid was something he had forgotten to account for in his earlier decision. Unlike the completely requited yet oblivious relationship between her and Kisame, Hidan’s own feelings were something he tried to ignore whenever possible. It was just a shitty joke she had made, something about how Hidan should leave her alone since he was really just trying to make the old man jealous. Something he should have shaken off with a normal insult towards the old miser, yet he had frozen, caught off guard by the accuracy. That was the one and only time he had ever allowed himself to come out to someone and let them live. It was shameful in the church to have feelings of devotion for anyone but Jashin, yet wanting someone that couldn’t produce more followers was even more so. Adamantly, he refused his feelings towards the man, but since that day she had treated his explicit flirting as nothing more than a show.

Embarrassed as he was, his comeback held no bite, and her teasing and further avoidance of the earlier topic increased. Eventually, it turned into a loud argument that reached Kakuzu’s ears, who ended their annoying discussion by threatening them both. She was easier to scare, but whatever they had been squabbling about had made Hidan more feisty than normal.

“Fuck off you old dick! There’s plenty of politer ways to ask to be included in a conversation,” came the danger prodding taunt from the young man. It was hard to guess why, but the older man’s fuse was shorter than usual, and the woman yelped as a dark arm split off from the man's torso to grab the face of the loudmouthed man right beside her. Flailing wildly and ineffectively he was dragged along the ground, yanked by the harsh grip of the intolerant man. Green eyes surrounded by red sclera flashed at her, warning her she would be next if she didn’t follow quietly. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she did just that.

#hidan #kakuzu #kisame #kisame x reader #mild swearing #upset that im writing this instead of kisame prompts #I wrote this just to clear my head and now im writing a multichapter fic wtf #Changed the title cause I hated it

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