#365 days of self care

[instabletay]

365 questions:

Day 4:

• What is one thing I can do to work towards inner healing?

[write-your-head-out]

Navigating the New Year: Strengthening the Mind and Setting Boundaries

As the clock strikes midnight and we usher in a new year, let's remember that this annual event is merely a metaphor. Our planet completes a full orbit around the sun, yet Mother Nature may not be ready to awaken just yet. However, we can use this symbolic moment to prepare ourselves for the journey ahead.

In the coming year, it's crucial to train our minds to be stronger than our emotions and establish boundaries firmer than our empathy. While empathy is a driving force within us, it is often manipulated in the everyday world. Many exploit our empathy to sell products, coerce us into actions we may not want, or manipulate societal and individual behavior.

To combat this, we must cultivate empathy as a sacred trait while simultaneously fortifying our minds. Whether it's a well-meaning family member offering advice without truly understanding our situation or the allure of social media posts promoting quick fixes, we must remain steadfast in our truth. The perceptions of others do not define us; we know who we are.

In the face of constant external influences, having a resilient mind and well-defined boundaries becomes our armor. Let the new year be a journey of self-discovery, strength, and authenticity. As we navigate through the chapters of 365 days, may our minds remain unshaken, and our sense of self unwavering.

written by @write-your-head-out

Photography by write-your-head out. Kaliningrad, Zelenogradsk (Sunday, 30 Dec 2023)

[theemissuniverse]

ARE THEY SLAPPING YOUR ASS OR ARE THEY KISSING YOUR FOREHEAD? MK MALE CHARACTERS

SUMMARY : I think the title is self explanatory

A/N: I just thought it was funny lmao

WARNINGS : (MDNI) mentions of intimacy

MASTERLIST

MORTAL KOMBAT 1 CHARACTERS

Liu Kang is definitely kissing your forehead. He finds the simple kiss to be more intimate than anything. But if you’re into him slapping your ass, he’ll definitely do it. He just doesn’t understand how that’s a sign for affection. (It’s funny because he’s technically an Earthrealmer himself but he still does not understand mortal customs of showing affection.)

Kissing your forehead: “I love you so much, my love.”

Slapping your ass: “You’re playing with fire, love.”

Raiden would very much want to slap your ass but he’s way too shy to do that with you so he’ll settle with kissing your forehead. Raiden has been caught staring at your ass several times and when you point it out to him, he smiles embarrassed and mumbles a “I’m sorry.” It is very rare Raiden will slap your ass and when he does it’s a soft but efficient smack.

Kissing your forehead: “How are you doing, beautiful?”

Slapping your ass: “Okay. I liked doing it. Stop asking me now.”

Johnny Cage is one hundred percent slapping your ass. Without question. 24/7. 365. All day. Every day. It’s literally his sign for affection. He doesn’t have a problem with kissing you on the forehead but that’s when he’s feeling more sappy.

Kissing your forehead: “Aw does my big baby want a kiss?”

Slapping your ass: “Whew! I’m never getting tired of that.”

Kung Lao is hitting you with a combo. He’ll definitely come up to you and give you the biggest kiss on the forehead before then slapping your ass. Sometimes it catches you off guard (even though it really shouldn’t at this point) and he’ll just laugh at you.

Kissing your forehead: “You look so good.”

Slapping your ass: “But this looks even better.”

Kenshi Takahashi is doing both. He loves touching all over your body. (Especially if he is blind.) So, he’ll settle for any type of touch that can show you his affection towards you. He wished he wasn’t blind though so when he does slap your ass he can see the recoil.

Kissing your forehead: “My love is always strong with you.”

Slapping your ass: “You’re so naughty.”

Bi-Han is not a physical person by any means. So, that means he’s really not doing either. If he’s in an emotional mood or if you’re in one, he’ll kiss your head. Sometimes on rare days when Bi-Han is in a playful mood, he’ll slap your ass playfully but he really doesn’t show his love through physical affection.

Kissing your forehead: “Do you need something?”

Slapping your ass: “Don’t get use to that.”

Syzoth does not understand the mortal custom of slapping your ass as a sign of affection but he quickly catches on. In fact, he likes it more than kissing your forehead but he’ll always save room for kissing your forehead. He likes to call them “love taps.”

Kissing your forehead: “What do you want to do today, my love?”

Slapping your ass: “You look so good when you bend over like that.”

MORTAL KOMBAT 11 CHARACTERS

Shao Kahn is most definitely slapping your ass without question. He loves it. He has to be careful when he does it though because his hands are far bigger than what you’re used to. Sometimes when you’re in an emotional mood, Shao Kahn will kiss you on the forehead but he mostly slaps your ass to show his affection.

Kissing your forehead: “You need to rest, my Empress.”

Slapping your ass: “All of this is mine.”

Hanzo Hasashi doesn’t really get the point of it at first but he does catch on rather quick. He’ll slap it through out the day and kiss your forehead and neck while doing it. But mainly when he does it, he’s trying to get intimate with you.

Kissing your forehead: “Nobody is more gorgeous than you.”

Slapping your ass: “Do you want to take this to the bedroom?”

Nightwolf is kissing your forehead. He doesn’t understand how slapping your ass is a sign of affection in the slightest. In fact, he’ll look at men weird for doing it to their significant others and you can’t help but laugh at his reaction every time. If you like it though, he’ll do it.

Kissing your forehead: “My love.”

Slapping your ass: “I still don’t understand why you’re into that.”

Kano will always do it with no shame. He doesn’t care if you’re in private or around people. He’s doing it. He loves watching you simply bend over and when you bend over, he’s right on top of you. He’ll kiss your forehead when he feels tired or sleepy though.

Kissing your forehead: “Goodmorning, love.”

Slapping your ass: “Damn, baby. Just how I like to start my day.”

MORTAL KOMBAT X CHARACTERS

Takeda Takahashi mainly likes slapping your ass but he’ll also kiss your forehead. Usually he’s very playful and just slaps it. Sometimes he’ll just slap it out of nowhere which catches you off guard. He’ll kiss your forehead though but it’s like a million kisses on the forehead.

Kissing your forehead: “You’re so pretty.”

Slapping your ass: “I can’t help that it’s staring at me.”

MORTAL KOMBAT 9 CHARACTERS

Cyrax likes to slap your ass but it’s quick and it’s more of a form of goodbye. But when you’re intimate, be prepared to get it smacked repeatedly. He’ll kiss your forehead as a sorry for maybe how hard he’s smacking it but he really likes to.

Kissing your forehead: “Did I do it too rough?”

Slapping your ass: “God, you look so good.”

[scattergoriesofevil]

Essek in his 100s: Attempts to teleport to Eiselcross over and over again until he succeeds. Develops a self care routine to rest between attempts.

Essek in his 200s: Does not visit Eiselcross. There are too many happy memories with Caleb there, and the grief is too immediate.

Eseek in his 300s: Attempts to teleport to Eiselcross over and over again until he succeeds. The memories are bittersweet now.

Essek in his 400s: Teleports directly to the permanent teleportation circle he built in his research station within the ruins of Aeor. He cast a 5th level spell in the ruins 365 days in a row. He has become a fish only once, thankfully. Many worse things have happened.

Essek in his 500s: Has an extensive list of possible wild magic outcomes and a probability table. He has been recording every wild magic outcome since his 100s. All of his students are required to memorize the materials and add their own experiences to the documentation. He has become a fish again, unfortunately. It was not a salmon this time.

[betterlifeinoverall-rethabilep]

Every Bit Learning

Notably, Every Bit Of Learning Counts!!! Like, Shares and Follow Please don’t forget to comment

[lewisvinga]

hakuna matata | joão félix x fem! reader

summary; joão’s comes back late from a match to see his girlfriend watching a childhood favorite

warnings; mentions of crying n mufasa’s death

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03 @c-losur3

word count; 365

note; requested !

masterlist !

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⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

João deeply sighed as he unlocked the front door of his shared apartment with Y/n in Barcelona. He hated rainy days but one thing he hated more was training on a rainy day.

He knew his girlfriend would be home since she told him she would have a relaxing self-care day. He didn’t expect to walk through the door and hear her sniffles.

Immediately, he sets his bag down by the front door and rushes to the living room. Everything was running through his mind. What could have made his girlfriend upset?

João’s mind quickly calmed when he noticed a familiar movie on the TV screen. Of course, Y/n would watch her favorite movie on her self-care day. Of course, she would watch The Lion King at any chance.

She was watching the scene when Mufasa died and Simba ran away. She had always been an emotional person. Crying during any moment of surprise or joy, and crying whenever anyone else cries. She always cried to that scene in The Lion King and he knew it.

He couldn’t help but laugh as he walked over to her. He takes a spot beside her on the couch. “You’ve seen this scene like 50 times, meu amor.” He said in a teasing tone as she turned to look at him.

“Doesn’t change the fact it’s sad!” She pouted, resting her head on his shoulder. His hand immediately went to her hair, gently running his fingers through her locks. “I can’t help but cry.” She chuckled.

“I know, I know.” He said with a smile, giving her a shoulder a gentle rub. “But hakuna matata right?”

Y/n couldn’t help but laugh at João’s words and his cheeky smile. Despite seconds ago being upset over the movie, his presence made her feel better. She sat up and turned to look at him, lightly slapping his shoulder. “Hakuna matata, exactly!”

“By the way, you stink. Go shower, babe.” She added with a scrunched-up nose and gave his shoulder another slap. “How was practice, anyways? I know you hate rainy days.”

He stood up with a smile. He pecks her cheek before saying, “Like what Pumba and Timon said, hakuna matata!”

[shycloudkitty]

Could this Valentine's Day be any better?

Summary: Unfortunately, you are sick this Valentine's day. All the plans you made were gone to trash. Although, Leon still tries his best to make it a special day for you and him. And by best it means… the one that both of you will remember for the lifetime. ;)

Pairing: Death Island! Leon × Gn! Reader

Tags: Tooth rotting fluff, leon calling reader sweet nicknames, leon being a caring boyfriend. (A bit of negative self-talk from the reader's side), Also there's a few Nsfw jokes and a bit of suggestive content so…Not that much so don't worry.

A/N: If you couldn't tell, I wrote this while I was sick and college exams being like a week away 🥲. Also I am single and valentine's just around the corner and yes, I am sick🥲🥲🥲. Personally, not a fan of this combination (It sucks here😭). Anyways, it gave me the perfect opportunity to be delulu about Leon.

So that's what this is - me being delulu, but I hope you all enjoy this fic and have a good day. Thank you to @nexysworld and @luniaxi for beta read🥰

(Also I know it's not Valentine's Day today. Like I said I was terribly busy🥲)

WC: 4.5K

It's Valentine's Day. The day of love. The day of sweet chocolates, beautiful bouquets and heartfelt love confessions.

It was a special day for couples, young or old. A reminder that pure love never grows old or wither away, in fact it only grows deeper as time passes by. The day was a reminder to cherish it as long as you can.

Which is what you would have been doing with your boyfriend today, if you weren't sick. Yes, you are sick, why? Because you have bad luck. A really terrible one.

Out of all 365 days in the year you had to be sick today. The most important day and say goodbye to all the romantic plans you made. The candlelight dinner, the cute dinner outfit you bought. But, no now you have to kiss it all goodbye and just grumble about what could have been.

To say that you were disappointed and angry was an understatement.

You blamed the seasonal changes for the condition you were in. You are in bed, not even having an ounce of energy to sit up properly, a bad throat, headache, body pain, cough and fever.

The only good thing was that your high fever had almost subsided only because of your sweet, caring, most down to earth person, your boyfriend made it his mission to take care of you during these tough times.

The moment he knew you were sick, he dropped everything he was doing and immediately wrapped a blanket around you after he had you settled in bed. Making you hot tomato soup, your favorite ramen, chamomile tea, anything that would help you feel better.

You were in your bed, trying to take a good rest but the body pain you had was making it really difficult. It was noon right now but what could you possibly do besides resting anyways?

“It will get better, just rest. I'm here.” He said as you complained about the condition you were in. He tried to soothe you with the sweetest smile he could muster, his warm blue eyes reassuring you that it will in fact get better even if you didn't believe it.

You clutched your head when you felt the pain coursing its way in your head, giving you a migraine. “I can't sleep Leon…it's so difficult.”

Leon could see the tears of frustration slipping from your eyes as the overall pain troubled you from getting you even a moment of relaxation.

And it broke his heart to see you in so much pain. Knowing he couldn't take the pain away entirely. Even if he was cooking you hot meals and soup it was still going to take some time to heal.

If it was up to him he would move mountains just for you to feel better even for a second. He wished he could just snap his fingers and take all the pain you had and give it to himself. Obviously, he wouldn't say it out loud cause he knew it would get you upset but he really wished he could do all that.

He was willing to suffer, if it meant you would never have to.

Your tired body slowly felt the warm calloused hands, slowly bringing you in his arms and hugging you tightly but keeping his hold gentle, so as not to cause you any discomfort as he cuddles with you. And pulled the blanket over you both to keep you warmer.

You looked up at him with a tired face as he gently rubbed your back with his hand. Slowly massaging your back with his strong fingers, trying to get rid of those sore spots. You felt his soft lips on your forehead giving you a loving kiss, which already had you melting in his big arms.

“Feeling better?” He asked in the softest voice possible and brought his other hand to your temple. Rubbing the sore spot with his thumb gently, which had you crying in pain earlier.

Your eyes slowly closed and a soft relaxed sigh escaped your lips as you gave a small nod. His gentle touch, the sweet voice, the soft kisses surely gave you a moment to relax.

Leon peppered soft, gentle kisses across your whole face while still massaging your back and temple. Soon he moved his hands to your waist to pull you more close so you were pressed up against his chest.

You looked up at him, opening your eyes for a moment, looking at him and wondering how could he even tolerate to even stay this close to you, while you had a running nose & weakness all over.

You didn't feel pretty or cute right now, you felt sick and horrible. Hell, even you wouldn't stay this close to yourself. But here he was… smiling down at you, massaging your sore spots, cuddling with you, trying his absolute best to help you regain your health.

“Have something to say, Darling?” He asked when he noticed you staring at him, lost in thought.

You sniffled a bit and replied. “You know… you will get sick if you stay so close to me.”

You heard a warm chuckle, feeling him hug you tighter. “Worrying about me even when you are sick? You are too sweet for your own good, y'know.”

You rolled your eyes and hit him lightly on his arm. “I'm not kidding.”

Leon chuckled once more seeing the glimpse of the playful attitude you always had. It made him feel better that you were feeling better enough to talk.

He smiled and shook his head lightly. “I will be fine. Relax.”

You huff and say. “You say that now, but if we both got sick at the same time there will be no one to take care of us. Like how will I take care of you? When I'm not even able to get out of bed?”

It wasn't like you weren't grateful for his actions. Of course you were, but if he got sick because of you, the guilt would definitely hit you in the chest about it. Also being sick definitely made you cranky.

Leon raises an eyebrow at your words and tries to hold in a chuckle seeing you argue with him on this, trying his best to be serious. He then smiled and cleared his throat and slowly replied. “Well… first off I'm not gonna get sick. Second… even if I actually got sick, I'm pretty confident I could still take care of you.”

You looked up at him again, a bit touched with his words. “Are you sure?”

Leon playfully rolled his eyes. “Honey, I got infected with viruses you couldn't imagine. This is nothing. So yes, I'm sure.”

Well… he had a point. But you still had something in your mind that you were itching to ask.

You sighed, snuggling up closer than possible. Trying to relax your mind with his scent. Trying to remind yourself that he was really here and not to some far off mission.

You bit your lips nervously. “Are you mad at me for ruining this valentine day?”

Leon’s expression softened further as he realized that you feel guilty. It wasn't your fault, you couldn't control it. Plus, this didn't ruin anything. Yes it was a bit stressful but that was okay, your health was more important than valentine day. If anything this brought you both closer than ever.

“Baby… you can't ruin it just cause you got sick. I love you. Always. Why would I get mad at such a thing? If anything I am glad I got to spend this time taking care of you.”

He pressed a kiss on your cheek and continued. “You can't ruin anything. Ever.” You sighed softly as he said that. A bit relieved that he at least doesn't think it was the worst valentine day ever.

You closed your eyes, feeling the body pain ease a bit. The medications and the cuddling was really taking a number on you. Almost ready to fall asleep.

Leon noticed how you became less chatty, slowly falling in and out of sleep. He slowly sat up in bed, careful not to disturb your sleeping form. And took hold of your legs and slowly started to massage the sore points present in the legs. Fingers applying firm pressure to relieve any pain that you were still having.

A sleepy sigh escaped your lips when you slowly felt the pain go away, transferring you into a state of deep relaxation…

Leon smiled to himself when he saw you sleep, free from any migraines or body pain that you may be having. He continues his massages till he is sure you won't wake up. He then puts a warm blanket over you, and softly whispers. “Get well soon baby, I have a surprise for you tonight…”

Leon gently kissed your forehead and moved away. Now he had to prepare for the surprise…

(Few hours later…)

You woke up after 3-4 hours. Your eyes slowly opened as it adjusted to the surroundings, you turned your head to look at the clock on the nightstand.

5:30pm

You sighed and looked up at the ceiling. You were definitely feeling a lot better now. The body pain was still there but it wasn't that bad. You were still feeling weak but didn't feel like you still had a fever.

A few minutes later you heard some shuffling outside the room. You lifted your head to see what was going on and saw Leon entering the room. He smiled when he saw you were awake.

And came by your side and kissed your cheeks lovingly and mumbled. “Good evening baby… Feeling better?”

You thought about it then gave a small nod with a sigh. “Mmhmm…”

Leon smiled and planted a few soft loving kiss across your face. “Good… Because I have a surprise for you.”

Your ears perked up as soon as you heard that magical word. Surprise. You looked up at him and said, “A surprise…? What is it about?”

He smiled seeing the small spark in your eyes at the mention and gave a wink. “A valentine dinner for us at home, prepared by yours truly.”

Your eyes widened and raised yourself slightly on your elbows to look at him properly. “Wait- As in… A dinner date for today at our home.”

His smile widened further as he took both of your hands and gave it a light squeeze and nodded. A blush rising in his cheeks. If you didn't know any better he was getting a bit shy and a tad nervous too. Such a cutie pie.

“Well… I thought since you were so upset about the whole situation and I know you had plans and everything… So… I decided to bring those plans to you.” You could swear his whole face turned into a cute puppy as he told you about his plan.

Your heart melted, no you felt like your whole body melted and formed a puddle in bed. The thought of him doing so much just to see you happy and cared was enough to give you a whole swarm of butterflies in your stomach.

You were glad Leon came into your life, glad that he chose to be with you. You didn't know what you did to deserve to have this amazing man all to yourself. His icy blue eyes, his sweet demeanor, the way he made you feel… It was amazing.

You didn't know what love was until you met him. Yeah, you thought what love was before him but being with him was just… magical. He remembered almost everything about you. Yeah, yeah the bar was in hell and whatever bullshit.

But if a man like him, who literally fought bioterrorism for a living. Who probably had the most stressful job on this planet did such thoughtful gestures, who almost turned into a puppy when he saw you, looked at you with such warm and sweet eyes… It was hard not to fall in love with him.

You gathered a bit of strength and immediately hugged him tightly, burying your face in his neck and dropping a kiss there. “Thank you… I love you.”

Leon chuckled as he hugged you back. “Love you too. And it's the least I could do.” he saw how your eyes almost started twinkling and how your face brightened up to a few notches. And that's how he knew the job was well done.

Leon dropped a light kiss on your lips and softly said. “Want to get ready for it?”

You gave a nod and he smiled. “Good…Want my help with any of it?”

You were still feeling a bit weak from the illness but it was a lot better. But you weren't stupid enough to say no to his request. So you agreed.

Leon being the gentleman he was, helped you get out of the bed and basically carried you to the bathroom to help you shower. Why would he let you walk when he could just pick you up like a cat and go wherever he wanted?

As you both entered the bathroom he helped you get out of your clothes, prepared some hot water bath, lit some of the scented candles that you preferred to have while taking a bath.

You relaxed in the bathtub while he started to wash your hair. Gentle fingers massaging your scalp, threading through your hair replacing the leftover pain with a feeling of pure bliss. You had a smile on your face as he continued and looked over at him.

“Thank you…”

He met your eyes and smiled. “For what?”

“For… everything. You are the best boyfriend I ever had.”

Leon's smile brightened, feeling a surge of pride in his chest, he then kissed your forehead. “At least I'm best at something.”

You chuckled as he poked your cheek playfully and went back to washing your hair. He then tilted your head a bit and slowly poured down water on your hair to get rid of the shampoo. He then helped you shower through the rest of the body.

When you were done, he helped you get out of the bathtub and wrapped a towel around you. You looked up to see him, to see his face getting scrunched up lightly as he focused on wrapping it tightly around you. You loved it when he would do that, he looked so cute when his nose would just scrunch up lightly as he focused on whatever he was doing. It was simply adorable.

“I feel like a kid getting help in dressing up after parents made me bathe.” You made note as he searched for your clothes through your closet.

Leon had a hearty laugh at the comment and gave you a playful shrug. “Get sick like a child, get treated like a child.”

He turned towards you, taking out the outfit that you previously bought for the ‘dinner date’ you both were supposed to have before you got sick. And helped you wear it.

You smirked at him. “Oh really? Should I start calling you daddy then?”

Leon paused for a moment, his eyes immediately flicking back to you. That nickname always did something for him. And you knew that very well…you couldn't help but just poke him a bit.

A blush rose in his cheeks as cleared his throat and said. “Uh huh… Why don't we just focus on the task at hand. Which is getting you dressed.”

You couldn't help but giggle as he avoided the topic. “Oh you don't like that? I could swear that you did.”

He gave you a stern look and narrowed his eyes a bit. “Babe… don't.”

You chuckled and decided to play dumb. “What? I was just asking.”

Leon cleared his throat again, his blush deepening and slowly said. “I am glad you are feeling good enough to tease me like that. Having fun?”

“Very”

“I could tell.”

You chuckled, deciding to cut him some slack. It's not like you wouldn't like to test his patience a bit more… Maybe after dinner you might.

Leon finished helping you dress up then he also helped you with your make-up, helping you tie your hair up in a bun when you finished giving touch ups to your face.

“Like a doll. You look amazing.” Giving your ass a light smack.

You squealed in surprise which made Leon grin wider and hug you tightly in his arms. And peppered kisses all over your face. “Feeling better?”

You nodded with a bright smile. “Yes, very much so.”

Leon grinned. “Ready for the big date then?”

You eagerly nodded and Leon took a blindfold from his pocket and held it in front of you. “Want you to wear this first.”

You gave a mischievous grin, opening your mouth to come up with a quip but Leon beat you to it. “It's for not ruining your surprise, dummy.” Rolling his eyes at your antics.

You scoffed playfully. “Hey, I didn't even say anything and stop calling me that. It's mean.” You gave a fake pout and Leon couldn't help but chuckle.

It was moments like these that made him feel like that life was worth living. The small domestic moments that he never thought he would get to experience. That perhaps it was worth fighting all those man-made monstrosities and risking his life, if this is what he came home to. His safe haven.

You were worth protecting and taken care of. You deserved every bit of love he had in himself and even his life if you wanted.

Leon turned you around as he tied the blindfold around your eyes. When he finished, he gave another light smack on your ass which made you chuckle. “Well this refreshes some memories.”

Leon kissed your neck and playfully whispered. “Want me to refresh them even more after the dinner?”

You blushed and even if you couldn't see his face because of the blindfold. You bet he was smirking down at you. “Well… Maybe?”

Leon chuckled, taking your face in his hands and kissed your forehead. “Well… I guess you have one more surprise after dinner then.”

You blushed even more and looked away. He grinned seeing you at a loss for words and smiled. Knowing he won that. He then took your hand and said. “Now dinner. Careful not to stumble down on anything.”

He then guided you out of the bedroom, helping you walk down the hallway to your surprise in the living room. He then stopped and slowly removed your blindfold.

Your eyes fluttered open and saw the scene in front of you. Your eyes widened and your hands flew to your mouth to contain the excitement filling your body.

The living room seemed like it was heaven of some sort. Filled with her favorite flowers, rose petals on the floor guiding the way towards the table, present in the middle of the room. The table was decorated with a beautiful centerpiece, filled with roses. The whole room was decorated with red balloons and candles.

If you didn't know any better, you would have thought you were gonna get proposed or something.

Wait-

You immediately turned around and gasped as you saw him down on one knee. An engagement ring in his hands looking up to you like you were his whole world. You were his whole world.

And it seemed like the whole world stopped for a moment, just for the two of you to have this.

You had like dozens of questions running through your head. Like how the hell did he plan all this? Did he take some help? Of course he did. But how did he do all this, the planning and decoration? And was this really even happening? Or your imagination? Was he really proposing to you? Like right now???

Leon noticed that you were well… speechless. So he took one of your hands and gave a gentle squeeze. That seemed to get you out enough of your confusion and shock. Your voice came out in a little whisper. “Leon… I…”

You didn't realize at first but you had started tearing up. Wiping your tears, you looked down at him and he was almost there, on the verge of tears but holding it in for your sake. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze and cleared his throat. “Did you like it…?”

You had a small chuckle & managed a nod while you were tearing up. Oh, it wasn't even a question that you liked it. You loved it.

Leon looked down at the ring in his fingers once more. He had a whole speech prepared on how he always thought you were the one. (Which Claire and Sherry helped him prepare;)). Now he swore he forgot all of it when the actual moment came.

Leon cleared his throat and looked up at you. You looked stunning, even with tears running down your cheeks you looked the most beautiful person ever stepped on this earth. He took a deep breath and started. “Well… to start… this is not how I planned things would go…”

Leon saw you getting confused a bit then explained. “I was originally gonna do it in the restaurant we were gonna go to… but then you fell sick and I had to bring some improvisation to my plan.”

Leon saw your little smile peeking and his confidence rose up a bit. “Umm… I had been thinking about this for a while. Like a year... And you were also dropping hints all over so yeah, I wasn't dumb enough to not understand them…”

You had a small chuckle and shook your head lightly. It was true, you tried to tease him with some videos of couples getting proposed to all he used to reply with was a small “hmm… nice.” And avoid the topic. And now that he was here he seemed so…vulnerable.

He continued. “I know you felt like you ruined this Valentine's Day. But you could never do that. You could never ruin anything. I know I said that earlier but I want you to understand that fully. Everything about you is… Perfect. Magical. There aren't enough adjectives to describe what it's like when I am here with you. You make me feel… safe and loved.”

You felt yourself tear up more when he said that. You could have never thought he felt like that with you. But you knew he was saying the truth the way he was looking at you.

He interlaced his fingers with yours when he gave a gentle squeeze again this time. “The past few days when you were sick, I loved taking care of you. To show you the love you've given me. The love you show me when you take care of me after missions, patching me up, preparing me delicious food even when you are busy with your office work. It's just… I can't believe that I deserve all that. And yes it's not the first time I took care of you but moments like these… helps me to show you and return that love your way.”

He takes another deep breath to calm himself, not yet realizing that he was tearing up at this point. “So, with all the hope I have right now, thinking I haven't exactly messed up all my speech… Will you marry me?”

You didn't know how you were even exactly standing right now after his speech. You were speechless. You had so much to say… but you couldn't even come up with one word. You gulped and took a deep breath and slowly replied.

“Yes Leon, of course I will marry you…”

Leon sighed in relief and let the tears flow from his eyes freely, holding nothing back and slipped the ring on your fingers. And stood up properly this time. He immediately brought you in his arms, cupped your face and kissed you. Pouring all the love he had for you, the love that couldn't be expressed by mere words only by actions.

You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back with all the passion you had for him in the moment. His body pressed up against yours. Feeling his warmth and excitement pour into you.

You both slowly pulled back, foreheads still touching and in each other's arms, having a big dumb smile on both of your faces. “Leon… I… don't know what to say… you… did all this?”

Leon gave a light chuckle and shrugged. “I had help.” And kissed your forehead.

You sighed softly and looked down at your ring. “So now I'm your fiancée hmm?”

Leon nodded and hugged you more tightly. “Yeah. Deal with it. You are not escaping that.” His tone got a bit playful as this continued.

You giggled and playfully said. “Actually, kind of looking forward to be Mrs. Kennedy.”

Leon grinned and cupped your face once again. Having the softest eyes he had for you at the moment. “Oh yeah? Me too. The name suits you.”

He then kissed you softly on the lips again, rubbing your back and just holding you in his arms like you would drift away right now.

You both stayed like that for a moment and he asked. “Feeling hungry yet?”

You chuckled and nodded. “Yeah a little bit. What do you have for me?”

Leon grinned and pulled away, taking your hand in his and walking towards the table in the center. “Come with me, I will show you.”

And so you did. Your heart is still beating with excitement that you will soon get married and be his partner for life. And you couldn't wait for the day to come.

Maybe this Valentine's Day wasn't that bad after all.

Phew. So that's done. Ngl I started this a few days before Valentine's Day. I was definitely gonna post it then but exams took priority 🥲. I also think I went too delulu over him lmao. But anyways, I really do hope you all enjoy this like I am sorry if this wasn't that good. Half of the time my brain wasn't working.

And I hope you enjoyed Valentine's Day with your loved ones. Have a good day🥰

-Bella

[tightjeansjavi]

⟡ sentiments n’ bubbly ⟡

A/N: so, this one another one of my post shower thoughts that has now transformed into this little fic 🥹 this time of the year is a struggle for myself and for others, and I hope it can bring us all a bit of peace before the new year 🤍

~word count: 4.5k~

pairing | Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: it’s NYE and you find yourself in Joel Miller’s coffee shop. He’s a firm believer that no one deserves to spend New Year’s Eve alone.

Warnings: angst, fluff, no age gap, discussions of self image issues, bullying, food/eating, language, anxiety, fear of social situations, fomo, mentions of therapy, NYE blues, self deprecating thoughts, flirting, meet-cute, no outbreak/modern day AU, Sarah and Tommy exist in this universe, soft!joel, mentions of alcohol, reader has no physical descriptions such as body type or skin color, some content included may be triggering for some as Joel and the reader have some very real conversations about life. +18 minors dni!

It’s New Year's Eve. The official last day of the year. A whole 365 days has come and gone, and yet, you find yourself feeling the same way you did last year. It wasn’t like you had a particularly terrible life or anything of the sorts, but you still had your struggles. Your daily contemplations over whether you were doing enough, being enough in your little life. You try to focus on all the good that happened in those 365 days of life.

All the laughter, smiles, the warm fuzzy feelings that you found yourself chasing more often than none. The bad times always find their way to trickle in and weasel into your conscience like an infection. The truth is that you know life comes with both good and bad memories. But why is it so hard to push back the bad? Why is it so easy to beat yourself down? You could have done this better, you shouldn’t have said the things you said, did you remember to turn your out of office on before you left the office?

Shit. There was that one email I didn’t get to.

Maybe you find yourself trying to cram in as many last minute tasks before the new year. Closet clean out? You haven’t worn that sweater in months..yet, you find yourself holding onto it because it was a gift from a dear friend, and you don’t want to unintentionally hurt their feelings by donating or regifting it.

Fridge clean out? Well, it does say that horseradish never expires..but you can never be too careful!

Clean your living space from top to bottom? Maybe next year you’ll invest in cleaner products for both the earth and your brain cells. Bleach can be awfully nasty to deal with.

Your phone buzzes on the coffee table in front of you. Leftovers are your meal of choice for the evening. You spent hours cleaning your kitchen, and you’d rather not have to do another wipe down till tomorrow.

Hey, are you sure you don’t want to come out with us tonight? We’re leaving in an hour!

It's not that you don’t want to go out with your friends, it’s the steps before getting out the door that have always been a struggle for you.

What if my outfit doesn’t look the way I planned it out in my head?

What if I completely botch this makeup look?

What if the club is too packed?

You hate feeling this way, often thinking you’re a burden to your friends because you're constantly planning ahead of time. Living in the moment for you has always been tough. A gray area that sometimes you have found yourself making peace with, and other times you just wish you could be different.

You reach for your phone while you’re already mentally planning the steps in order to get ready in time. Being late is never an option, even when it’s just a fun night out in town.

Hey, I thought it over and I’d love to come out with you guys :) see you soon!

You send the text in a flash before tossing your half eaten slice of pizza onto the coffee table and rush to your room.

You tear up every inch of your closet looking for the perfect outfit. It's New Year’s Eve after all, and you want to be shimmering like a grand disco ball.

The outfit is on, and you look great! It turned out even better than you pictured it in your head. But the longer you stare in the mirror.

Fuck. Can’t I just turn my brain off for one night? Please?

And there it is, again. That gnawing little voice inside your head that pops up, gleaming and waving its hand just in case you forgot that it existed.

You aren’t actually going to wear that..are you?

It looks all wrong.

And you’re going to be freezing—

Your friends are going to look 10x better than you—

“ENOUGH!” You shout to no one in particular before you stomp off to the bathroom.

After taking a deep breath, you pull out your array of makeup from one of the bathroom drawers. Pinterest becomes your best friend again while you scroll to find a makeup look that screams you.

Bold. Glittery. Too much glitter?

There is never such a thing as too much glitter. You remind that little voice inside of your head.

Even with your ‘going out playlist’ on full blast, you feel your confidence begin to shrink and diminish as you stare at your painted face in the mirror. It’s not exactly like the picture you found on Pinterest, but there’s no time for you to change it now.

Your phone buzzes again, and this time it’s your friends sending you a group picture of all of them pregaming in their glittery outfits and bright smiles. You heart the message before typing back,

Wow, you guys look amazing! Please don’t be mad, I’m just not feeling up for it tonight. I hope you guys have a blast and stay safe! :)

Your friends understand, because they know that this has always been a struggle for you. A sore spot that hasn’t exactly quite healed the way you wish it had. It’s hard to dig yourself out of a hole that you dug, but you're grateful that they have always been so understanding.

No worries, we love you, and Happy New Year!

And all you feel is guilt.

But instead of wallowing away in your apartment, you grab your coat, purse and keys before making the final decision to go out.

You find yourself outside of a coffee shop just down the block from your apartment. You passed by it everyday during your commute to work, but you never found yourself going in, until now.

The coffee shop is found to be empty as most people are already out to dinner or at a party. It’s somewhat comforting that it’s just you and the lone barista who hadn’t heard you come in yet. His back is turned to you while he wipes down one of the counters, humming to himself as he moves about.

You're immediately drawn into how cozy everything feels. From the decor to the crackling fireplace to the soft music playing through the speakers.

The man turns then, towel gently grasped in his hand when he finally registers that he’s no longer alone. He takes in your attire, finding it odd that someone all dressed up for the evening found themselves here. Then he remembered how his daughter told him it’s rude to judge strangers because you never know what the next person is going through.

He smiles warmly instead. “Hey there, I was uh—jus’ about to close up for the evenin’ but can I get you anythin?’” He’s got a face that you already know you’re going to have a hard time forgetting. Strong built frame, yet soft in all the right places and despite his exterior appearing to be hardened, he seems friendly enough.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I hadn’t noticed that you were closing up for the night..I don’t want to keep you here. I can always come back another time?”

He detects the way your face slightly begins to fall as he lightly taps his fingers along the counter top he just finished wiping down. “S’alright. I forgot to change the sign out front so that’s all on me. So, what can I get ya? It’s on the house.” He gestured to the menu board above his head.

You hesitated for a moment as you didn’t want to inconvenience this man who probably had his own New Year’s Eve plans to get to. “Are you..sure? I really don’t mind coming back another day.”

“S’alright, I promise. I don’t have anywhere important I need to be anyway.” He said with a slight shrug.

“No fun New Year's Eve plans? And I’ll take a cappuccino, please.” You stepped closer to the counter as you reached into your purse for your wallet.

“Nah. ‘Supposed to meet my brother at a bar nearby for a couple drinks, but he can wait a little longer.” He was already reaching his hand out to stop you from pulling out your wallet, when your eyes met his.

“For the tip.” You said with a smile while placing a couple five dollar bills into the tip jar.

“Oh, thank you. ‘Awfully kind of ya.” He responds softly, out of surprise because most people never bothered to tip. He might even be blushing a little..but he can’t really tell. Maybe it was just the steam from the espresso machine.

“It’s no problem. Gotta support small businesses, y’know?”

He nods in understanding. “Yeah, it’s the least people can do. Anyway, I’ll get that Cappuccino goin’ for ya. Feel free to sit wherever.” He gestured to the empty tables.

The table closest to the fireplace ended up being the one you ultimately chose. It happened to also be his favorite spot as well, go figure.

On any other occasion, Joel would call the customer's name once their drink was ready, but given the current circumstances..and the fact that he hadn’t asked for your name, bringing the coffee to you was perfectly acceptable.

“Here’s that Cappuccino for ya.” His voice drawled above you as he set the mug down in front of you. “Let me know if I can getcha anythin’ else. I’ll just be in the back finishin’ up with the cleanin.’”

“Thank you..” you start to say before realizing that you don’t know this man’s name either.

“Joel.” He clears his throat. “My name is Joel, and you are?..”

You tell him your name and he nods with a small smile.

You're left alone to your thoughts as his footsteps disappear behind the countertop once more. You can faintly hear him busying himself and putzing around as your cappuccino begins to cool without you realizing it.

You find yourself vacantly staring through the windows, and the dimly lit streets and passerby’s. You’ve always had a fond love for people watching and imagining what their lives were like. What their jobs and aspirations were. Did they have a family waiting for them? What made them happy? Would they be able to relate to you?

You don’t even hear Joel’s approaching footsteps nearing the table until he’s saying your name with an edge of concern in his voice because you’ve neglected to have a single sip of your cappuccino that has now become room temperature.

Your eyes meet his deep brown warm ones as your own sense of confusion washes over you.

“Is everythin’ alright? You haven’t touched your cappuccino at all..” he’s not offended, nor hurt, but the empath in him is genuinely concerned, even though you’re just a stranger in his coffee shop.

“Oh.” Your voice falls flat. “I’m so sorry, Joel. I guess I got lost in my own thoughts and completely forgot about it.” You feel bad, awful actually because he took the time to make you this drink, and all you had to do was just drink it—

“Hey, it’s alright. I find myself getting lost in my own thoughts as well. But, I can’t have ya drinkin’ a cold Cappuccino. I’ll make you a new one, alright? It’s no trouble at all.” He’s already reaching over to grab the mug.

“Joel, are you sure? You really don’t have to—”

He cuts you off reassuringly, “I insist. I won’t have my customer drinkin’ a cold Cappuccino on my watch. Ain’t no way.”

He disappears back behind the counter before you are able to protest. Joel returns 10 minutes later with two mugs in hand. You listen to the sound of the chair across from you scraping before he slowly sits down.

“I uh—hope you don’t mind me joinin’ ya? You jus’ seem like you could use some company, darlin.’ S’that alright for me to call you darlin?’”

He’s sweet like warm sticky molasses and honey. He actually might be the nicest guy you’ve met in a long long time.

“Oh, I don’t mind at all, Joel. I could actually use the company, and you can call me darling. That’s alright with me too.”

He smiles at you over the rim of his mug that is clasped between his hands. He gently blows on the billowing steam before he takes a small sip. “So, do you have any fun plans for the evenin��? I’m only assumin’ cus’ you’re all dressed up for a night out in town.” He gestures to your glittery getup that sparkles under the warm flames.

“Well, I did have plans to meet up with some friends tonight..but I wasn’t feeling up for it in the end and somehow ended up here.” You said with a sigh before taking a sip of your own Cappuccino. “This is delicious, by the way.”

“How come?..if ya don’t mind me askin?’ And I’m glad you’re enjoyin’ it. Tastes a lot better when it’s hot.”

The last thing you expected tonight was to engage in a conversation about your daily anxieties with this absolutely gorgeous man. Whom you just met, but crazier things have happened before.

“I don’t mind you asking, Joel. I just don’t want to burden you with my troubles or anything. Especially since I think they’re a bit silly and blown out of proportion.” Your eyes casted downwards into the mug.

“Hey, I doubt you can do that, and between you and me? I’ve heard it all. Got a teenage daughter who’s goin’ through all the things that I’m tryin’ to understand..but as a single father, it’s fuckin’ tough sometimes. But I’d be happy to act as a listenin’ ear for ya.” He genuinely means it, too.

“You have a daughter? How old is she? Teenagers can be a handful, that is very true.” You responded thoughtfully while leaning back against the chair.

You watch the way his eyes light up like a Christmas tree when you show a genuine interest in this man’s life. It’s sometimes a rare occurrence to meet a stranger who you feel like you can just immediately open up to without thinking too hard about it.

“She just turned 13 this year. She’s a good kid, super smart. The kinda kid that probably will end up growin’ up and changin’ the world. She’s..well, my world.” He clears his throat and you notice his dimple poking out in his cheek.

As if this man couldn’t become any more attractive.

“Anyway, she’s already goin’ through some friend and boy drama and it’s jus’ a lot to keep up with. Her mom ain’t in the picture either, so it’s not like I can turn to her for any guidance. She went to her first ever school dance this year in a dress that she picked out. The next thing I know, she’s callin’ me up in tears because some kids thought it was okay to make fun of how she looked. I know kids can be mean sometimes, but I wanted to go in there and teach those little shits a lesson myself.”

He was quite the protective father.

“Kids can be real bitches sometimes, Joel. I never quite understood it myself. Especially since I’m sure your daughter was just minding her own business and having a good time? I learned at a very young age that there’s a lot of jealous people in this world that enjoy causing pain in others for no apparent reason.They might have their own struggles, but that is no justification. Those kids that bullied your daughter will hopefully learn from their mistakes sooner rather than later.”

“She was just mindin’ her own and having a great time. She was so excited to wear her dress. It jus’ makes me so goddamn angry because I can’t protect her from everythin’ out there. It’s somethin’ that I’ve really struggled with this year especially. And I’ve tried to talk to my brother about it, but he doesn’t get it either.” Joel said with a sigh. “I’m glad that you can understand all of this though. I don’t really have any female friends to talk to about this stuff either.”

“Most kids grow out of their ‘mean’ phase after highschool. I can admit that I went through a phase similar to that. Made a lot of mistakes that I had to hold myself accountable for. But, with your love and support, I think your daughter is gonna end up being okay. She’s lucky to have you as a dad.” You reassure him.

“Really? You don’t seem like the type of person to ever hurt someone..then again, I ain’t perfect either. Never have been, never will. I’ve had my own regrets as well. But, I appreciate all that you’re sayin.’ S’Nice to be validated every now and then.” He leans forward with his elbows resting along the table and you’re just beginning to notice how broad his shoulders truly are under his faded flannel.

“I don’t think anyone can ever claim to be perfect. We don’t know everything and can make genuine mistakes. But all we can really do is learn from them, make it up to the people we may have hurt, and move forward. I think you’re a really nice person, based on our conversation, Joel.”

“You’re right, darlin.’ No one in this world can claim they are perfect. It's impossible.” His knee brushed yours gently from how close he was leaning in giving you a clear indication that he was actively listening to everything you were saying. “Anyway, I’m sorry I went off on that tangent jus’ now when we were talkin’ about your New Year’s Eve plans.”

“Dammit.” You sighed with a smile tugging on your lips. “I thought you forgot all about that.”

“Nah. I’m pretty good at rememberin’ even if I find myself havin’ to circle back. So, you didn’t feel up to meeting’ your friends tonight?”

“I was going to, truly. But I just got into my head way too much. It started with finding an outfit to wear. I absolutely tore my closet up and I’m really dreading having to clean it up later. Anyway, I’ve got the outfit on, right?”

He nods while taking another sip of his Cappuccino.

“I’m feeling great, and loving the way the outfit looks on me, and then there’s that stupid mean voice inside my brain. You know the one?”

“Ahh yeah. The voice that tells us that we’re unattractive and worthless? Like when we put on our favorite outfit and it’s not fitting quite right, and we know it’s silly to cry over clothes..but sometimes we just can’t help it? And that voice is right there beating us down because sometimes we forget that it’s natural for our bodies to change?”

Damn, he’s good.

“So...you hear that voice sometimes too? I honestly thought I was alone in this feeling. I tend to keep these thoughts to myself because I don’t want to burden others, y’know? I do see a therapist, though. It definitely has helped a lot, but I’m still struggling.”

“Darlin,’ I know exactly where you’re comin’ from. I had these favorite pairs of jeans that I would wear pretty much everyday. Well, just this past month I found that they ain’t fittin’ the way they used to. The zipper wouldn’t budge, and then I spent a good hour tryin’ all the tricks in the book to get those suckers to fit. Well, none of it worked and then I started beatin’ myself up. Sayin’ all the nasty names I could come up with. Then after all of that, I thought about all the delicious meals I had this year and especially these damn ice cream sundaes that my kid is obsessed with. Suddenly, the jeans not fittin’ didn’t bother me as much anymore.”

“Ice cream sundaes are delicious, and even more-so when you are enjoying them with your daughter. I pretty much went through the exact thing that you’re describing. I know that we shouldn’t give into the societal bullshit of looking a certain way to appear more attractive, but it’s just hard sometimes. That’s why I try to cycle through my closet every now and then so I’m not holding onto clothing that doesn’t fit me anymore. Did you end up keeping the jeans?..”

“She’s been requestin’ them for dessert pretty much every night, and I have a hard time tellin’ her no. They are absolutely delicious. It is definitely hard to pass them up sometimes. It’s comforting to know that other people go through the exact same thing that we’ve gone through. I did in fact donate the jeans, and then bought a new pair the same day. Wearin’ ‘em now actually, and I gotta say, I think I look quite good in ‘em if I do say so myself.” He said in a cheeky tone that sent heat rising on your cheeks.

“Well, I think you should stand up, if you feel comfortable doing so, that is, and let’s see what this jeans talk is all about.”

He grins at you, eyebrows playfully dancing while he sets his mug down along the table before pushing his chair back to stand up.

He gives you a little spin, one that neither you were expecting, but you could tell that he was having fun showing off his new denim.

“Okay, respectfully? Those jeans look amazing on you, they are very flattering, Joel.”

He laughs a warm and hearty laugh as his cheeks turn beet red from your words. Even if you’re just playing along, he’s feeling charmed by your presence.

“Really? Y’know, I was thinkin’ the same thing and a’that..but I’m a pretty humble guy.” He said sheepishly.

“Joel, screw being humble. You’re wearing those jeans like they’re made for you! You gotta own that.” You said with a giggle.

“Alright. Alright. If ya say so, darlin.’ I appreciate the compliment, but have ya taken a look at yourself tonight? You’re glitterin’ like a goddamn mirror ball. Gonna blind me with all that sparkle Y’got goin’ on.” He’s flirting, now. He’s absolutely shamelessly flirting with you.

You find yourself leaning forward then, close enough that he can see the pretty shimmer painted on your eyelids and your undeniable flirty smile.

“Joel, are you flirting with me right now?” You’re feeling bold, and curious to know if you were reading the signs correctly, or letting your brain run a muck in theories.

“I am, darlin.’ Is that..alright? Cus’ if it makes you feel uncomfortable, I can stop.”

“No, please continue to flirt away. I’m glad that you’re getting to see my outfit, Joel. I probably have glitter in places where glitter doesn’t belong.” You said with a light, airy laugh.

“You’ll be finding little bits of glitter all over the place well within the next year. Do you have any to spare?” He asked with a warm chuckle.

“Actually..I do have some to spare.” You reached for your purse along the side of the chair and pulled out your tube of glitter eyeshadow that you had brought just in case you needed any touch ups. “May I?”

“Oh, you really weren’t kiddin’ when you said you have some to spare, huh?” He leaned in closer to get a better look. “That’s a really pretty color, darlin.’ You think I can pull that off?”

“I don’t kid when it comes to my glitter, Joel.” You said teasingly. “I absolutely think you can pull this color off. But, I’ll need you to close your eyes so I can apply this more eveningly.”

“Okay, I’m trustin’ you, darlin.’” He slowly closed his eyes then and only flinched a little when he felt the applicator glide across his eyelid. “Sorry, wasn’t it expectin’ to feel that damn cold.” He murmured softly.

“No worries, Joel. It can be a bit ticklish at times.” You scooted your chair in closer to him so both of your knees were tucked in between his as you delicately applied the shimmering shadow. Your tongue was peeking out between your lips as you focused on the task at hand.

He tried to peek his eye open once, before you playfully scolded him and said, no peeking.

To which he grumbled out a response with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Am I pretty yet, darlin?’” He asked with his eyes still shut as you admired your work.

“Very pretty, Joel. Okay, you can go ahead and open them.” You pulled out a little handheld mirror from your purse and held it out for him to admire his appearance.

He opened his eyes, blinking a few times to get used to the feeling before he averted his attention to the mirror you were holding. “Oh, shit. Wow. Y’know what..I actually think I like it.” He looked over at you then before he realized how close you were sitting to him. “Thank you, darlin’ I feel like I’m a mirror ball too.”

“It really brings out your eyes, Joel. They were already pretty before, but now, they’re even more beautiful.”

You were already forgetting about how awful you felt earlier, and the guilty feelings for turning down your friend's offer to go out. It admittedly felt nice to talk to another person that shared more things in common with you than you realized. To be validated, and in turn, validate someone as well? It felt really, really good inside.

“So, now that we’re both glittered up, and it’s two hours till the start of the new year, would you maybe care to join me for a drink? Only if you’re feeling up for it, that is.” Joel asked you with his eyes flickering back to yours. Truthfully, he’s happy that you somehow found yourself in his coffee shop tonight. He can’t remember the last time he’s connected with someone on such a deep and personal level.

“I’d love to get a drink with you, Joel.” You don’t even second guess your answer, and if the feelings come up later, so be it. That little voice inside of your head is nowhere to be found as Joel offers you his arm.

You help him finish closing up for the night before the two of you find yourselves walking arm in arm to the bar that his brother Tommy was at. During your walk, you find yourselves falling back into conversation that flows easy like a steady stream. When you bring up feeling guilty for often being a homebody, he reassures you that wanting to spend a quiet evening with yourself is perfectly normal, and it’s something you shouldn’t feel ashamed of. He goes on to add that if you want to go out more, that’s perfectly okay to do as well. But you should never pressure yourself to go out and have a good time, if that’s truly not what you want to do.

And when you find Joel’s brother at the high top with a glass of bubbly in front of him, the first thing that comes out of his mouth is, “Joel, what is that on your face?” He leans in close to inspect the glitter shadow painted on Joel’s eyelids.

You and Joel turn to one another with two knowing smiles plastered on your faces before you laugh in unison, “it’s glitter, of course!”

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[universalitgirlsblog2]

💖🌷👛HOT GIRL ERA💖🌷👛

💖As a hot girl , I'm selflessly selfish & always put myself first . I'm always mentally stable .I always know what to say & how to deal with bullies and toxic people . I know how to build boundaries and be firm with them I don't overshare with people if they are fake or toxic . I can easily judge people , whether they are a red flag or green flag . I'm bound to be good at everything . I don't settle for less and don't allow others to mistreat me .Its privilege to be my friend or boyfriend. its privilege to be in my life . If you mistreat or take me for granted , I won't take a second to kick you out of my life and make you regret it .I always take care of myself mentally , spiritually, emotionally and physically and I always believe in myself no matter what.I have so much confidence, self love and a great self concept and no one or no circumstance can take that away from me. I don't allow others to let me question my self worth . I always practice self control and discipline .I always surround myself with people who have winner mentality and people who respect & cherish me . I receive princess treatment 24/7 , not just by my adorable SP but by everyone. It's considered a crime to mistreat me. Everyone knows how I deserve to get treated like a princess 👸 As a hot girl , I have healed from all bad past experiences. I always make that are best for me and will benefit me .I always keep myself clean and well groomed .

🌷As a hot girl , I'm the main character of my life . THE REAL Y/N .I know that I create my own reality and I'm a true blessing to this world .I'm aware of the fact that it's my world and everyone else is just living in it . I have immense amount of self respect , self love which makes others love & respect me as well. I'm an ICON & I set the standards as hight as Mount Everest . I am suffering from Princess sickness where I feel happy & proud of myself & always get princess treatment 24/7, 365 days . I never chase anyone coz other are always chasing me LOL. I thrive in every aspect of my life & I have a perfect concept of myself & everything ( life , love , relationships, academic & prodigy ). I really love myself. My standards are as high as Mount Everest . My life revolves around me and me only . I always accept help & help myself & don't block my own opportunities & blessings . All eyes are always on me even if I'm in my pajamas& my confidence and energy is immaculate. People can't do anything but be near me . I don't attach myself to any thing , people or places. I define me , I don't want others to decide who I am , I decide that for myself.

👛As a hot girl , I'm AUTHENTIC, I say what I mean & I mean what I say . I have the APHRODITE energy . Me > Everything . I don't need others to validate my self worth. I am in my feminine energy ( less chasing, more attracting ) . I don't seek others validation or permission , I do what I want . I'm valuable to myself. Anyone who doesn't find me hot gets cancelled. I'm God's favourite & blessed. My charm is out of this word .

[meowzfordayz]

cast iron

Author’s Note: inspiration truly is everywhere — even elbows deep in a sink washing dishes. 🫧

cast iron

Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Word Count: ~900

CW: none

~faqs~ 

You know Bakugo’s fallen in love with you the day he lets you wash his cast iron pan. He’s meticulous about the thing; a handed down, family “secret” that he only revealed after a year of dating to cook your anniversary dinner…

… not including the months it’d taken for him to randomly exclaim So are we together together or are we friends?! his face red and puffy as you’d blinked slowly, taking a moment to process his outburst. What do you want? you’d deflected, heart nearly beating out of its cage, to which he indignantly replied Nope. I asked first! Your achingly familiar laughter ringing in his pinkened ears as your assured answer brightened his gaze We’re together together… I hope? He’d rolled his eyes, that overwhelming sensation of longing tucked neatly away, his chest broad and exuberant as he scoffed Well obviously.

You hadn’t actually gotten to watch him cook—he’d surprised you by taking over your apartment while you were at work, perfecting the meal for your return—but you’d taken note of the soaking pan (all other cleaning already completed, of course) when you’d peeked into the kitchen.

“I can’t thank you enough,” you gush, salivating as the scent of the broth in your spoon wafts to your nose, “My entire place smells amazing!” “Yes you can,” he grunts You already do, the softest of a smile tugging on the corner of his mouth, “Eat.” Nose scrunching, you happily acquiesce, a tangle of lime, fresh chili, and coconut milk (plus a hint of fish sauce) melting warm on your tongue. You dip your spoon again, this time capturing a cute button mushroom, its fleshy underside soaked in flavor and heat as you take a contented nip. “How is it?” He tries to sound nonchalant, eyes hardly meeting yours, right hand clutching his own spoon with calculated casualness, but you know better. You’ve loved him for 365 days, after all. Bakugo doesn’t give a damn what people think, because Bakugo knows what he is and what he doesn’t aspire to be. But Katsuki? Katsuki cares, perhaps a little too much. “Delicious!” you declare, “Definitely spicy, but not unbearable. And there are so many subtleties… I swear it tastes different yet better with every bite.” “You’re so dramatic,” Katsuki snorts, grinning proudly nonetheless, eyes raising to feel your praise, acutely aware of how you might’ve just described him. — You spring up when you’re finished, determined to get to the remaining pan before he can, but you’re stopped almost as soon as the thought occurs. “Sit.” His voice is quiet, stress not veiled in the slightest. “But the-” “I’ve got it.” You pout for a second, arms crossing as you sit down, head shaking fondly at his protectiveness. “I know how to wash cast iron.” “So tell me why you don’t own a single cast iron pan,” he retorts. “High maintenance,” you quip, eyebrow raising pointedly. Grumbling to himself, Katsuki stands and clears the table, pressing a chastising kiss to your forehead before walking toward the kitchen. “Takes one to know one.” “Heeeyyy!!!!!”

The pan goes home with him in the morning—sometimes in the afternoon on a lazy Sunday—an unassuming tool of tenderness and self reliance. Katsuki, selflessly devoted. Bakugo, foreign to the touch of affection. You don’t feel half loved, nor do you feel that you love half a man (Bakugo Katsuki, for all of his faults, is a wonderful partner and admirable person), but you often wonder how he feels. As he scrubs at the buildup of grease and grime, clear water gradually turning murky, his reflection still visible as scraps of onion and garlic float to the surface… rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat. How do you get a man who loves so deeply to see that same love shining back at him? A man so attentive and observant to the quirks and whims of his lover… and afraid to share his own, lest they be unwanted or unfulfilled.

“Can you wash the pan tonight?”

You gawk. Not your finest reaction, but certain instincts can’t be avoided.

“I thought you knew how to wash cast iron?” Katsuki teases, pulse in his throat, “Or did you say that to impress me?”

“I…” you falter, unsure whether to continue tiptoeing or reach for him outright. He starts toward the kitchen, stare more guarded than you remember, and you blurt, “I figured you’d never ask.”

He freezes, indiscernible emotion clenching in his jaw. And then he chuckles. He chuckles and swivels to look at you, ruby eyes twinkling with uncharacteristic yet so beautiful shyness, tone rough like the homey crackle of a winter fire, soothed by the languid drip of honey into chamomile tea.

“Silly,” he rasps, your fingers curling around his waist, plates and silverware caught between your almost embrace, “I love you.”

—

He watches you scrub at breadcrumbs and spring onion, water practically scalding, and not a soap sud in sight. You work methodical and efficient, the pan hardly banging against the sink when you change angles and sections, each glance you direct his way brimming with amusement and adoration.

“I feel like I should pay you,” you hum, giving the pan its final rinse, “You’re basically my personal chef at this point.”

“Absolutely not,” Bakugo scowls playfully, poking your side before gently taking the cleaned pan from your hands, “This is more than enough.”

[sunny-mercya]

Masterlist

-> Masterlist 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 /

Other Accounts -> AO3 | Wattpad | Quotev

-> @mercya-libraries Reblogs & Appreciations of other FanFic's & Co.

-> @ordinary-mercya Blog for Causal things

-> Informations & Rules | Writer Recommends

Request Open!

Series;

Hey, Brother do you still believe in one another?

Heiji Hattori x Male Reader | Platonic! Shinichi Kudo x Brother!Reader

Fandom -> Detective Conan/Case Closed

Status; Ongoing & Being Rewritten

Summary; After Shinichi's disappearance you had lost the ground beneath you. Still you pulled through and stood as tall as you could. Though how much could you take till you break?

Based Songs -> Hey Brother | Saudade | Last Impression | I can't stop my love |

01. Saudade

02. Exhausted

03. Of Jealousy and Blessing

04. Awkward

04.2. Keeping Secrets

05. Nightlife

06. Love Sick

07. Love Letter

08. Therapy

09. (Self)hatred

10. Osaka Trip - Stalking

11. Osaka Trip - Abducted

12. Osaka Trip - Dubious love making

13. Osaka Trip - Fever Migraines

14. Osaka Trip - Rising Hope

15. Osaka Trip - Survival

16. Osaka Trip - Saving Knights

17. Osaka Trip - Recovery and Dates

18.

19.

Given

Heiji Hattori x Male Reader

Fandom -> Detective Conan/Case Closed

Mini Story to Hey, Brother

Status; Complete

Summary; 365 Days and you remain in all of them — through the good and bad times, Heiji and You would never break the bond of love you both had for one another as this love is for eternity.

01. Arguments

02. Cold Crash

03. Sensitivity

Gone.

Batfamily x Male Child Reader

Fandom -> Batman/DCU

Status; On Hold & Discontinued

Summary; All you wanted was a good night story from your family, not being kidnapped.

01. Not now

02. Mommy's Love

03. Hope

04. Rescue

Christmas Special

05. Chana

06. Sleepless

07. Disasters

08.

One Shots;

Tokyo Revenger

Mikey Sano

Swimming | Brother Reader

Shinichiro Sano

Bread baking gone wrong | Male Reader

Goth Moth | Male Reader

Nahoya Kawata (Smiley)

First Date Magic | Male Reader

Bonten

Sickly Summer | Male Baby Reader

Detective Conan/Case Closed

Heiji Hattori

I can't stop my love for you! | Male Reader

Waiting | Male Reader

False Brother | Male Reader

Flirtatious Conversation | Male Reader

Marriage Arrangement | Male Reader

Ghost Stories | Male Reader

Matsuda Jinpei

Big in Japan | Male Reader

Tonight in Japan! | Male Reader

Rei Furuya/Amuro Toru

Locked out of Heaven | Male Reader

MAGI - The Labyrinth of Magic

Kouen Ren

Caring in Secret | Male Reader

Sleep | Male Reader

Puns | Male Reader

Koumei Ren

World of Silence | Deaf Male Reader

Sinbad

Treacherous Love | Male Reader

Castlevania

Trevor Belmont

Small steps to forgiveness | Male Reader

Fucked up again | Male Reader

Turned | Male Reader

Attack on Titan

Levi Ackermann

Sweet family of mine | Male Reader – Single Dad & Modern Era AU

DC

Bruce Wayne

No second chance | Male Reader

Hal Jordan

Clark Kent

Memento Mori | Male Reader

Marvel

Peter Quill

Coming Home | Son!Reader

Headcanons;

BatFam #1

BatFam #2 -> Participating in the Metropolis-Gotham Olympics

Batman #1

Fem!Reader

Detective Conan/Case Closed;

Kaito Kid

Hearts Thievery | Soulmate AU

Shinichi Kudo

Denial and Acceptance | Soulmate AU

Tranquility |

[thatcanadianfangirl]

Little Mouse

Cody Christian x Female Reader/ OC

Summary: On her gym anniversary, she shares a cute moment with her favourite trainer and friend. Suspecting he has feeling for her she’s can’t help but coil back in fear.

WC: 1.6k+

Contents: trainer Cody x female, written in first person, no use of y/n, only pet name, gym, no negative body image, vomiting, pining, intense emotions, friends, his pov, no smut (but this is a no minor zone)

Message: Posting a Flash as I work through my new the first part of my veterinarian series for Cody. I’m slowly getting back into writing so it might be awhile

I adjusted the gym bag over my shoulder a little higher. I feel like I bathed in extacy for an hour, the high is hitting me at full force. I walk into the public gym with confidence dripping off me. Today marks an entire 365 days since I’ve flipped, I’m fucking proud of my self for pulling that shit off.

“Someone’s glowing!” Cody, one of the trainers that resides with this location says, his lips are pink as a congratulatory smile spreads on his lips.

“What can I say, it feels good to be a gym rat!” I say with playful pride. Reaching the front desk where he hides behind.

“Oh please you’re not Gym Rat material yet!” He chases back and a rush of electricity runs up my spine when his voice knocks down an octave or two.

“Christian, you’ve taught me all I know. If I’m not a Gym Rat by now? That definitely speaks volumes to your commitment to this gym.” I tease with a shit- eating- grin.

“I’m just teasing baby, you became a Gym Rat the moment you met me huh?” He says it so casually that I couldn’t process the words he spews. Me and Cody seemed to have this best friends who pine after the other variant of romantic relation, we ping pong harmless flirting every chance we get,but this gorgeous man in front of me, has never called me Baby.

I didn’t want to look too much into it, over the last year Cody always managed to involve me in his woman drama. Solely on the fact that I happen to be his friend and a woman. Yay me, suffering in pain. Love that for me.

Although I haven’t heard anything lately and it has the cogs turning, I truly wanted the man but I was unsure if he wanted me.

“I take pre-work out and jam protein powder before 12am. I portion control and train 4 times a week. If anything? I’m a Training Mouse.” I laugh trying to shoe away the feeling he gave by calling me, Baby.

“But it works for you and your lifestyle, you’ve made so much progress this year, I officially promote you to Gym Rat.” Cody stands straight and extends his back, his chest grows against the fabric of his shirt. So tight against his skin I can see the threads stretch beyond repair.

He seems to pull an imaginary crown from his back pocket, he fakes amazement as he looks at the jewelry in his palm. Trying to reach the crown towards me, his hips are caught by the desk and I laugh at his childish behaviour as he rounds the reception desk.

I could only laugh at this gorgeous man making me fall out of the sky, burning for him. “No laughing, this is a serious ritual.” He tries to say it sternly but fails miserably when a grin slips as our eyes meet.

He’s close and I can practically taste his cologne in my throat, I didn’t care, Cody could break my bubble any day he pleases.

“I, Cody Christian, trainer at this establishment, now present you, Baby, as an official Gym Rat on the celebration of your one year anniversary of feeding this place your money.” He softly gestured for me to bow my head. And I obey rolling my eyes playfully at this scene he created for me.

His warm muscular body hovers over mine and I’m engulfed in a glowing heat, his calloused hands brush the center of my scalp, placing the crown on my head. I smile graciously and wave like the queen, He makes me feel like in this little made up world of his.

“You know, Gym Mouse. Has a softer touch and fits better. Don’t ya think, Christian?.” He squints his eyes at me and I my cheeks cramp, Cody’s aura makes me feel alive again.

“You just don’t know how to appreciate anything I give you.” He winks at me before fake pouting all the way back around the desk.

“Thank you, Cody. Your support in my health journey has motivated me to thrive as much as I have.” A soft blush rounds his ears and I break eye contact in fear. I liked thinking the little hints of attraction from him is my delusional mind running on bright colours. It's pathetic to even admit this as an adult, but god was it easier to think of him as my best friend who I just happen to be attracted to.

“Don’t mention it, really. It’s my job.” The atmosphere clicked off and it felt like this entire interaction was mere dreaming.

His job.

He demoted me.

“Yeah. Of course…” I drag on and his eyes are a dull blue as he watches me under his steel gaze. Fetching my keys I hold the baby pink fob up to the scanner finally. The small glass gate pops open towards me and I give Cody one last glance before heading in.

It’s confusing to see longing swirling inside.

“Enjoy your session.” Garrett, the actual receptionist stationed at the front pipes up. A million watt smile desperately plastered, giving an aura of overkill niceties.

“I will.” I say flatly into the blue eyes of the white wolf.

Her expressionless eyes send an arrowhead into my heart, leaving a hole in its wake. I trail her figure until she heads for the women’s only section tucked in the back of the building.

“You’re fucked.” Garrett spit into my ear, watching her hips sway out of view.

“Did you not see the fucking fear in her eyes when she was thanking me?” I seeth out, not fond of hom taunting me with her again.

“Oh I’m pretty sure the rover from mars saw it. She’s afraid of how you make her feel, I’ve never physically seen a woman pine for a man before, but the way she looks at you? It’s genuine.” Garrett crosses his arms over his chest and pops one of those disgusting protein chips in his mouth.

I sighed loudly, throwing my head back in frustration , “she’s not ready.” I speak to myself.

“No one is ever ready for anything even if you had a bulletproof vest strap to your chest you still wouldn't be ready for it.Not that you need it or anything.” He chuckles to himself lightly, taking in the gains I’ve build form the ground up.

“You’re kinda wise when you’re not being a complete asshole.” I scoff at him trying to contain any composure I had left. A little disappointed I didn’t think of it before, how could I? when my heart hammered inside my chest at the sound of her voice.

The image of her on the first day is imprinted in my brain. She's an anxious mess, but she stayed with me the entire time during the tour and equipment tutorials, she was quiet as she trailed me and I couldn't help but feel a little protective over her. It gave me a sense of purpose and she couldn't pry it out of my grasp if she tried, but knowing me I’d let it slip and let her have it.

At the end of it all I asked what brought her in and her eyes lit up and I wanted to save it at all costs.

“I’m just looking to improve my health and tone up my muscles a little. Nothing too majorly restricting.” The small glint in her eyes gave away the fact she did her research and knew exactly what she wanted to do. Fuck I admired that shit.

Pulling into my apartment parking lot I notice a familiar vehicle parked on the side. The engine and lights are off, the driver is long gone and I finger the roof of mine so aggressively, I feel like I pulled a wrist vein, or something of that sort.

Cody is here and he’s waiting for me, we’ve hung out outside of the gym, but only at public places. It wasn’t anywhere private like mine or his, was there a purpose for that? Cody always invited me out and I’ve done the same. The realization digs into me and I have the urge to throw up.

We were hiding in plane fucking sight.

It builds up, and I struggle to open the door of my own car. The seat belt is restraining me inside, I manage to click myself out before heaving the contents over the cement.

“Fuck, that’s disgusting.” I mumble, staring at the contents on the front tire of my car. Cringing, I manage to bring myself to my knees.

Feeling a pull I glance in that direction and Cody stands there and embarrassment engulfs me and I have the frantic urge to get in my vehicle and disappear until I have no idea who I am.

He’s silent as he stares at me slowly making his way for me and I’m too weak to flee from him.

I’ve never seen him so vulnerable before, Cody had a bright and positive aura about him and maybe that’s what cured my mentality.

He’s quiet as he rests himself next to me against the hood of my car, never glancing at the vomit on the ground. No cringe and not a hint of disgust at the slime on my shoes.

His palm is warm crawling across my thigh and captures fingertips with such tenderness. He brings my hand into his lap and covers my hand entirely with both hands, holding mine hostage. It lit a flame inside, warming my soul for the rest of the universe.

“You know I…” Cody starts and trails off slowly, my heart tingles at I’m eager to here what he has to say, because this entire day let up to now, here, with him.

“You’re an amazing fucking Human being.” He clenches my fingers tighter and I can hear the aggressive rhythm of his heart faintly in his chest.

He’s for real.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” I say with a teasing smirk, gleaming on my lips. Cody rolls his eyes into the back of his head dramatically and I shake my head playful in return.

[uncanny-tranny]

Don't know what disabled person needs to hear this, but:

Having good days with your disability is not proof that you're faking or that you never needed help. In fact, your good days are often some of the most important days to treat yourself kindly and treat your body and mind with care. While you deserve good days and little to no pain or other issues, it isn't fair to expect yourself to not "act" disabled. Please don't run yourself into the ground on your good days if you can help it. Please don't fall into the pit of self-doubt in your disability. You deserve good days, but you don't deserve to feel guilty over them because it isn't in line with what we're taught about disability (that it is not dynamic and if you're "truly disabled," you would be in agony 24/7/365 and would never be happy or content)

[reidsbookclub]

Foolish One AN: frankly idk exactly what this is either a blurb or just 365 words aka word vomit. Won't do my usual tallest on this one because tbh idk what this even is. AN 2 : this is a bit more of a self-indulgent than anything, hence the description of y/n. 

For a profile she was such a fool that instead of seeing the signs she was staring longingly at the resident genius of the BAU. All the signs were there, Lila Archer and JJ both a type of body and looks that she would never have. When would she learn her lesson and stop waiting for confessions of love from the clearly not interested genius towards her. She continues to longingly stare at him, daydreaming of museum dates and coffee walks together with him, but chances are that her night would end with her talking herself to sleep again, her wishful thoughts keeping her in a daydream. 

She didn’t know when he achieved it but, being the careful daughter of a careless man, Spencer was able to break down all the walls she had put up and she found herself rapidly falling for his kind eyes and wonderful smile. Spencer Reid wasn't just tall and handsome as hell there was this magnetic force that pulled her to him. What most of the team consider obnoxious rambling she could listen to day, unfortunately she was not the one he would always seek out.  She didn’t know what to call it, all she knew was how to act and seem bulletproof putting on her best “I’m fine” every time she saw Spencer shyly talking to JJ, his crush evident, she guessed this would just be another lesson she had to learn the hard way, she was foolish for sitting around waiting for something that would never happen. Something that is strictly a fairytale scenario in her head because with all her flaws and with her not being conventionally pretty, who would ever want her? Who would ever stay?

What she doesn’t know is that everytime when Spencer gets home he spends all of his time imagining what it would be like if he had the courage to talk to quiet girl that sits next to Derek. The days he has to walk home from the metro he imagines meeting her halfway and kissing in the rain because it’s better than the reality that he’s walking alone in the rain sulking thinking that she would never choose him.

[captainhunnicutt]

hello o wise shan… my bj/mike question tonight is: what do you think the most significant crossover between mike and BJ is (based on vibes alone, or any other evidence you care to bring to the table)? we talk a lot about how Alan’s interests and concerns intersect with Hawk and what he works into the show, so I’d love to hear some more about Mike!!

OH MY GOSH. This is such a great question, so thank you thank you for letting me ramble on and on about my thoughts concerning it.

The most obvious answer is the love for motorcycles. Mike loves them. BJ loves them. That's all Mike bringing that into BJ's character. Hearing some of Mike's stories about his motorcycle rides or just general fascination with bikes is really really interesting. But there's a better answer here.

DISCLAIMER: I know nothing about Mike. I'm just a guy who has followed a guy's career for a long time and attempted to connect some dots. That's it.

I think one of the things that Mike either purposefully or inadvertently wove into BJ's character is the constant struggle of what makes a dad a "good dad." Mike has been rather open about his childhood and it doesn't sound like it was pleasant 365 24/7. His dad kind of ruled with an iron fist and drank heavily, his mother did what she could but sort of just tolerated it because that's what you did at the time, and at some point Mike made the decision that he would do things differently. Him and Judy both talked about their childhoods and what they absolutely refused to do with their kids and it was a heavily discussed and constant focus for the two of them - and that seems to blend in nicely with BJ's entire characterization. Sure, he feels guilty being away from Erin because he's thousands upon thousands of miles away - and most parents would, by default, feel guilty about that. But BJ makes it a point to read portions of letters concerning Erin out loud. He takes great pride and brags about her even about things that everyone else considers boring or mundane. He isn't there to shower her with love and affection and express how proud he is, so he expresses it to everyone within earshot. Even when Peg has to take a second job, his frustration starts with Peg having to potentially serve their friends - and winds up primarily being that Erin is without a "father and now a mother." I guess what I'm getting at is that Mike wanting the exact opposite for his kids (in a lot of ways not entirely) than what he had, bled over into how he portrayed BJ dealing with already being behind the curve because he wasn't physically there with Erin. How in the world can this man who WANTS to do good even begin to make up for it? How can I, Mike, do more and better when all I know is XY and Z? Is it enough?

To this day, Mike is huge on standing up for everyone else. He hates injustice. He won't tolerate it, and has consistently used his platform to speak out against it. "It" being whatever seems inexplicably unfair to him. He also has always had the self awareness to know that him, and him alone, cannot change everything - and that it's a pointless to think he singlehandedly can fix everything. I think that's BJ, in a nutshell, when it comes to the myriad of things him and Hawkeye attempt to stand up against. He reminds Hawkeye countless times, that they are one small piece in an entire war machine. That in a lot of ways, their hands are absolutely tied - and that never stops Hawkeye from getting wound up about whatever it is. But it keeps BJ from getting "miffed" or giving off one good "pshaw." I feel like that's how Mike operates on a larger scale. He zeroes in on some injustice and plots and plans and gets a wider audience to join forces to have a greater impact than just him raising his fist and saying something isn't fair or right.

Finally, and this is legitimately me putting on my tinfoil hat, I feel like BJ's struggle with being away from Peg and marriage in general, is a lot of what Mike might have dealt with off camera. What I mean by that is when Mike joined MASH, him and Judy had already separated once - but found their way back to one another and wanted to make it work. And they did for a long time! "Hanky Panky" happens and BJ is smacked with how much he loves Peg and doesn't want to ruin that. Fast forward to "WarCo," which Mike wrote, and that is written around the time Mike and Judy are separating for good. Mike has openly talked about how hard he took it and how he bought a house right by the house him and Judy shared so that the kids could just wander across the yard to his place. I think "WarCo" was Mike trying to sort out all of his feelings about his longtime marriage ending, and what that actually meant for him. His "lifeline" were his kids, and how are the choices of some adults going to impact them? What else is out there for him? Is there even anyone else out there? What is he giving up? What is he going to gain? Who is he hurting in the long run? Has he been missing out on something better? Is there better? Is this world that he's been thrust into skewing everything he thought he knew?

I don't know. Ultimately, I think as the series progresses - more of Mike just inherently bled into BJ. The man himself has said he doesn't quite know where he ends and BJ begins at this point, and he likes it like that.

Please please please, no one take anything that I say as 100% fact or anything. I've just had a long time to ponder and come to some probably absolutely insane ideas.

[l4ndojpg]

slytherinlesbians' whumptober masterlist (complete!) *ੈ✩‧₊˚

day one: "how many fingers am i holding up?" | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid (centric), derek morgan, emily prentiss, david rossi | ship: none | trigger warnings: none | content: case fic, concussion, team as a family | word count: 1.1k

day two: "they don't care about you." | fandom: succession | characters: roman roy (centric), shiv roy, kendall roy | ship: none | trigger warnings: mentions of child abuse, neglect, drug use | content: childhood fic, sibling relationships | word count: 1k

day three: solitary confinement | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid | ship: none | trigger warnings: self harm | content: prison spencer | word count: 438

day four: shock | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, alex blake | ship: none | trigger warnings: gunshot, going into shock, anxiety | content: alex & spencer friendship, mom!blake | word count: 535

day five: "it's broken." | fandom: outerbanks | characters: jj maybank, john b routledge | ship: none | trigger warnings: physically abusive parent | content: injuries, jj and john b friendship | word count: 1k

day six: recording/made to watch/"it should've been me." | fandom: criminal minds | characters: derek morgan, emily prentiss, aaron hotchner, jason gideon, penelope garcia, jennifer jaraeu | ship: none | trigger warnings: none | content: 2x15 revelations, the tobias hankel case, kidnapped spencer reid, team as a family | word count: 507

day seven: "can you hear me?" | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid (centric), emily prentiss, jennifer jareau, derek morgan, penelope garica | ship: past spencer reid/maeve donovan | trigger warnings: mentions of drugs/drug use, depression | content: post 8x12 'zugzwang,' spencer's isolation, team as a family | word count: 1k

day eight: outnumbered | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, luke alvez, emily prentiss | ship: luke alvez/spencer reid | trigger warnings: anxiety attack | content: spencer is anxious, luke is there for him, post prison spencer, austistic spencer | word count: 1k

day nine: mistaken identity | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, derek morgan, david rossi | ship: none | trigger warnings: none | content: 4x07 memoriam, spencer is sad, team as a family | word count: 512

day ten: "you said you'd never leave." | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid (centric), diana reid, derek morgan, aaron hotchner, jennifer jaraeu, penelope garcia, emily prentiss | ship: past spencer reid/elle greenaway | trigger warnings: parent abandonment, depression, grief | content: spencer reflects on the people who have left him over the course of his life and grieves | word count: 1.3k

day eleven: "all the lights going dark and my hope's destroyed." | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid | ship: none | trigger warnings: none | content: spencer slowly loses hope in prison | word count: 365

day twelve: insomnia | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, david rossi | ship: none | trigger warnings: none | content: spencer & rossi friendship, dad!rossi, spencer is tired & rossi looks after him | word count: 897

day thirteen: "i don't feel so good." | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid (centric), aaron hotchner, david rossi, jennifer jaraeu, emily prentiss, derek morgan | ship: none | trigger warnings: gunshot wound recovery, vomiting | content: spencer recovers from an injury sustained on a case, team as a family, dad!hotch | word count: 724

day fourteen: (alt prompt) shaking | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, aaron hotchner, jennifer jaraeu, emily prentiss | ship: none | trigger warnings: gunshot, autistic meltdown | content: spencer has a meltdown after a case, autistic spencer, team as a family, hotch & spencer friendship, dad!hotch | word count: 642

day fifteen: "i'm fine." | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, elle greenaway | ship: spencer reid/elle greenaway | trigger warnings: drinking | content: spencer is anxious, elle doesn't know how to help, autistic spencer | word count: 824

day sixteen: "don't go where i can't follow." | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, maeve donovan | ship: past spencer reid/maeve donovan | trigger warnings: death of a partner | content: spencer dreams about maeve | word count: 536

day seventeen: collar/touch aversion/"leave me alone." | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, aaron hotchner | ship: none | trigger warnings: mention of blood | content: post 2x11 'sex, birth, death,' spencer & hotch friendship, dad!hotch, autistic spencer reid | word count: 896

day eighteen: blindfold | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, luke alvez | ship: spencer reid/luke alvez | trigger warnings: panic attack | content: spencer and luke are kidnapped, post prison spencer, autistic spencer | word count: 835

day nineteen: floral bouquet | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, jennifer jaraeu | ship: past spencer reid/maeve donovan | trigger warnings: vomiting | content: set at the beginning of 8x16, 'carbon copy,' spencer & jj friendship | word count: 372

day twenty: blanket/found family | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, aaron hotchner | ship: none | trigger warnings: none | content: post 2x15 'revelations,' the tobias hankel case, dad!hotch, autistic spencer, non-verbal spencer, hotch & spencer friendship, team as a family | word count: 589

day twenty one: restraints | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, luke alvez | ship: spencer reid/luke alvez | trigger warnings: nightmares, mentions of blood, panic attack | content: post prison, spencer has a nightmare | word count: 466

day twenty two: glass shard | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, emily prentiss, luke alvez | ship: could be read as spencer reid/luke alvez | trigger warnings: blood, vomiting | content: spencer is injured on a case | word count: 406

day twenty three: stalking | fandom: criminal minds | characters: jennifer jareau (centric), emily prentiss | ship: mentioned jennifer jareau/will lamontagne | trigger warnings: mentions of sexual assault, rape, abuse and stalking | content: a case reminds jj of a past relationship, emily & jj friendship | word count: 1.2k

day twenty four: goodbye note | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, aaron hotchner | ship: none | trigger warnings: none | content: dad!hotch, spencer & hotch friendship, gideon left and spencer isn't dealing well, anxiety, autistic spencer | word count: 951

day twenty five: storm/buried alive | fandom: succession | characters: roman roy, logan roy | ship: none | trigger warnings: detailed discussion of unspecified eating disorder | content: roman struggles with an eating disorder, logan is a terrible parent | word count: 824

day twenty six: working to exhaustion/"you look awful." | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid (centric), jennifer jareau, david rossi, aaron hotchner | ship: none | trigger warnings: ableism | content: on a case, local officers treat the team badly, dad!hotch, team as a family | word count: 1.7k

day twenty seven: scars | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, luke alvez, penelope garcia | ship: pre spencer reid/luke alvez, but can be read as platonic | trigger warnings: past self harm, past drug addiction | content: case fic, post prison spencer, autistic spencer, spencer is uncomfortable in his body, luke helps | word count: 1.6k

day twenty eight: bloody knife | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, derek morgan, david rossi | ship: none | trigger warnings: stabbing | content: case fic, spencer is stabbed, team as a family | word count: 371

day twenty nine: "what happened to me?" | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid (centric), derek morgan, jennifer jareau, aaron hotchner | ship: none | trigger warnings: past addiction, gunshot wound | content: spencer is shot on a case, pain relief used in the hospital brings up bad feelings, team as a family, dad!hotch | word count: 888

day thirty: borrowed clothing | fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, luke alvez | ship: spencer reid/luke alvez | trigger warnings: implied sexual assault | content: luke finds spencer after he's been kidnapped on a case | word count: 718

day thirty one: emptiness | fandom: succession | characters: roman roy, gerri kellman | ship: roman roy/gerri kellman | trigger warnings: detailed description of unspecified eating disorder, vomiting | content: roman struggles, gerri tries to help | word count: 913